#it was so funny and so gross

[abirddogmoment]

What’s the weirdest thing Mav pointed at?

He would point at grasshoppers constantly. That man loved to stare at bugs.

#about mav #mav memories #once we were practicng heeling in a field #and mid-stride he caught a grasshopper #and carried that live grasshopper in his mouth until we finished the heeling pattern #it was so funny and so gross #thank you for this ask! #he's also pointed toads and that was fun for me #the best thing he ever pointed was a pine marten #i thought it was a squirrel and i wouldnt have taken a second look if he hadnt been pointing so solidly #so that was cool

[xekstrin]

One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.

The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.

“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”

The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”

“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.

I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.

He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”

“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”

A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.

I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.

So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….

“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.

Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.

The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.

So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)

But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.

“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”

#IT WAS SO FUNNY #the kid was like GROSS #and dad was like its art :) #maybe one day you will feel that way too son #and he was like NO NEVER GROSS #and the dad was like you know what thats true :) not everyone feels that way #but maybe some day you will and you’ll see it’s totally fine and normal #A+ dad #dad of all time #dad champion #forage friends

[turtleblogatlast]

Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀 #thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏 #they’re all gross teenage boys!!! #even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀 #I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison) #Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

[ew-selfish-art]

Here’s the thing about the Twin AU that people aren’t considering: the Drs Fenton are resourceful! They can make amazing inventions out of household objects and machines!

So when they were accepting a contract from Ra’s to look at the Lazarus Pits in conjunction to their research (ie the best dissertation material ever) they looked at the spare twin that was being sacrificed and said “a perfectly good baby like that would probably be nice to have around!”

Sure, the Spare Heir was ecto contaminated because of the pits and that’s why Ra’s was getting rid of him, but seriously, not everything needed to be brand new these days! Upcycle! Science can fix all the ectoplasm and possession! He’ll be just like new in no time! Take that baby out of the pit and wash em up and take that baby to the Midwest! Teach that baby about stars and Ghosts!

The Drs Fenton take baby danny on their last day, knowing that the league thinks that he’s dead- already sacrificed, Ra’s felt the power shift of the Infinite Realms- and proceed forward like nothing was ever a big deal! They published their findings on the pits, they got another contract/grant and then began the journey to start moving towards their other projects!

Why tell Jazz, she’s only a toddler when they bring him home?

Why tell Danny, he’s just their little man, their Dann-o?

Things will probably be fine, because just like their up cycled machines and portals- an upcycled baby wouldn’t have any problems! Their inventions always worked perfectly! Their son would be just as perfect!

Cue the shenanigans of Damian and Danny meeting, the normal amount of “you’re the clone” finger pointing (which Danny wins because he has actual baby/childhood photos) and then some ghosts of assassins past trying to cause issues for Phantom.

#reduce reuse recycle #dc x dp fic #dp x dc #danny phantom #damian wayne #dc universe #dc x dp #the drs Fenton are actually so environmentally friendly for saving this demon heir baby #sure he’s gross and possessed but he’s still a perfectly good baby! science can fix the rest #Ra’s felt a power shift when Danny was dumped into the pits and presumed the baby didn’t make it #turns out that was Danny’s introduction to clockwork and he thought it would be funny to get this kid a new home in Illinois #demon heir twins #twin au #danny and damian are twins

[angryducktimemachine]

I watched the Granada Holmes Hound of the Baskervilles and this is my explanation (and defense ?) of Holmes just absolutely horrible looking stew.

[ID: a digital drawing of Sherlock Holmes. He's walking across a moor with his hands behind his back, holding a letter. A thought bubble above him reads "I forgot my damn stew by the fire." /End ID]

#he just horribly overcooked that stew i know it #like my man I'm german I've eaten lots of gross looking stews in my life but this truly is #the worst anyone has ever done #Sherlock Holmes #the whole scene was soooo fucking funny tho #watson tries so hard to politely deny on trying the stew but Holmes seems so proud of it and keeps telling watson to try it #and watson just :|

[sorrelpaws]

they're investigating scary noises in the dark

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #this drawing mainly exists because im so annoyed at how rick isnt given any kind of sleepwear #this pissed me off so bad in night family when he just Went to sleep in his REGULAR OUTFIT. AT LEAST TAKE THE LABCOAT OFF #this is what i think hed sleep with. funny boxers and a wifebeater and socks. #none of these have been washed or even removed from his body in like Way too long. #LIKE I FULLY AGREE hes gross and lazy but come awn. I just cant imagine him sleeping in a sweater and khakis. PLUS SHOES. whatever. #also wahaaaatttsss that in the top right lol. whats going on there behind morty ohhh man if only i knew Lol. Anyway

[bleh1bleh2]

Just a little Post-Training Bonding

#the voltron water is so funny to me #someone taking a sharpie and going to town #'hmm. perfect water for the paladins' #team bonding water if you will #makes everyone work better together <3 #anyways theyre sweaty and gross and flirting #klance #voltron #my art

[leavingautumn13]

more of my dragonborn oc, kyrena, and the slippery slope that is working with daedra

[i have commissions open now!]

bonus miraak:

#skyrim #lydia skyrim #hermaeus mora #miraak #dragonborn dlc #the elder scrolls #autumn.art #autumn.oc #oc: kyrena xaviera #all but one of my tes ocs are involved with the daedra in some way but kyrena's the only one who winds up tapping out #and like for good reason #there should be a mod that replaces all of hermy's extra eyes with googly eyes. i think that would be funny #that's what i think of while drawing them #anyway i'm SO excited to replay dragonborn to see if miraak sounds like danse (and therefore like tim allen) to me now #anyway peryite's quest is gross but spellbreaker's worth it. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[jeena-says-hi]

Since Gem has antlers, do you think they have the cycle of growing velvet, scraping it off, then shedding them?

So she’s just like this for a while:

Imagine one time the velvet starts to shed, so she casually peels a bit off and someone is like “WHAT IS THAT?”

#deer also eat the shedded velvet cause it’s got nutrients on it so just imagine gem peeling it off and snacking on it #the others would be so confused and grossed out #except grian cause he’s irl got a bio degree and cause I’m doing bio too I wanna headcannon him as knowing bio stuff #funny #meme #funny meme #hehe #trafficblr #third life #mcyt #last life #limited life #double life #secret life #hermitcraft #empires smp #geminitay #mcyt gem

[deathlessathanasia]

I strongly believe that in all Greco-Roman mythology no one has a weirder or more hilarious alternative origin story than Orion in the version in which he has Zeus, Poseidon and Hermes as fathers: „… that huge giant born of no marriage-bed, threefather Orion, sprang up from his mother earth, after a shower of piss from three gods grew in generative fruitfulness to the selfmade shape of a child, having impregnated a wrinkled of fruitful oxhide.” (Nonnos, Dionysiaca)

I wanna know what the person who came up with this idea was smoking.

#this is so gross but also funny #greek mythology #orion

[radiohead-spiderman]

I walk out with a microphone and speak “Stripping away a female character’s traits and personality for a male character is wrong and is not a cool thing to do,” everyone cheers.

“Especially if the male character treated the female character like shit and wished death on her multiple times,” everyone cheers again.

“If the only way you can make your ship work is by completely desecrating one or both of the character’s personalities, maybe it’s not that good of a ship” everyone cheers and claps.

I say “Dramione” and get booed and thrown rotten tomatoes at.

#i am but a jester being punished for the truth /j #this is a /hj #not gonna tag Draco’s name so dr*Mione shippers don’t see this #I’m an asshole who’ll slander a ship I find revolting BUT I would not force those shippers to watch me spout out my hatred #anyways #anti dramione #dramione hater #I hate dramione #anti jkr #harry potter #hermione granger #romione #dramione shippers this is not a safe space for you #in the genuine way I do not think you want to be on my page because I’m slandering something you like and that’d bum me out of I had to see- #someone slander something I like #censoring dr mione because I find it gross and so people who ship it don’t see it is so funny to me

[total-drama-brainrot]

World Tour Assistant Noah AU (where he is always an assistant):

In London (instead of Duncan and Gwen kissing), Noah gives Alejandro the grossest and messiest kiss ever, to try grossing out Alejandro into stop flirting with him... But ironically, Alejandro enjoys the kiss out of spite!

Noah: Alejandro, that kiss was a mistake.

Alejandro: A sexy mistake.

Noah: No, just a regular mistake.

Alejandro: You'll eventually come crawling back to 'the eel'.

Noah: The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away... from!

Alejandro: Mi Amor, you're obviously confused and charmed. 💙

Anon, the mental image of Noah dragging Alejandro into the messiest, grossest kiss imaginable to try and curb Alejandro's interest in him is sending me.

Because Alejandro literally Frenches a pineapple on international television in canon. You can't convince me that he wouldn't unironically enjoy the grossest tongue wrestling sessions imaginable. Noah's plan to make himself as undesirable as humanly possible backfires because the person he's trying to gross out is A Bit Of A Freak and actually enjoys it.

Which leads me to imagining Alejandro trailing after assistant Noah like a lovesick puppy, since Noah's shown at least an inkling of reciprocated attraction- at least in Alejandro's eyes. After all, why else would Noah practically drag him into the confessional and make out sloppy style with him? There's sparks there.

Here's me pushing my affection-starved Alejandro agenda. The moment someone he cares about gives him even a scrap of positive attention he'd be hooked. Noah practically dug his own grave with that kiss.

And Noah's just staunchly denying it all the while, trying to justify his actions as his misguided attempt to repel Alejandro, and no one would believe him. What kind of idiot thinks kissing the guy who's been flirting non-stop with him is going to do anything but egg him on?

Noah, apparently. He's stubborn in his defence despite literally no one believing him. The only person who's convinced Noah's not into Alejandro is Noah himself. (He's delusional.) I would like to know what sort of mental gymnastics Noah went through to think the kiss was a good idea, though.

And then Alejandro using any excuse to bring up the kiss, and consequently flirt with him? Golden, love it. Everything about this scenario is just really funny.

#confession time: i find all kinds of kissing gross. maybe that's the aro in me speaking but it's true. #something about swapping spit is just inherently disgusting to me. that's what makes it so funny. #anyway noah gives alejandro the wettest most revulsive kiss imaginable and alejandro pulls out a proposal ring #total drama #td alejandro #td noah #alenoah #assistant noah au #others' ideas #replies

[internetforthesociallyinept]

#phan #dan howell #danisnotonfire #phil lester #dan and phil #amazingphil #phandom #dnp #dnpg #dnpgifs #dnpgames #dapgifs #dapg #dapgames #Phil’s face is so funny here pls #this moment stuck out to me cuz i was preparing for phil's “ew gross dan” and instead it was a really fucking cute just like funny thing #yknow less like “yikes dont be gay i cant be gay” and more like “omfg my friend is so embarrassing rn pls make it stop” #sister Daniel #Lucifer Lester #spooky week #baking video #dan and phil games #Daniel Howell

[kakapim]

I'm back to seeing news about Detective Conans movie 27 and. I've never been a Kaishin shipper because I've always liked the frienemies dynamic better, but it's wild that they're implying these 2 are related like ??? 😭 30 years of NOTHING and then they suddenly say these guys are cousins? Like... Kaito wasn't even canon for 99% of the series. Crazy. That's 3 decades of yaoi fancontent down the drain 💀💀

#its so absurd it loops back into being funny #theres no way they dont know Kaishin is one of the most popular ships in the show #its def the 2nd after Shinran #The producers and Gosho are being REALLY bold with movie. +Toishi mighr be alive??? #what ... #I do like the idea of them being related cause it would explain some things but. uh. for the sake of the fandoms sanity... dont #Also peeps in the fandom shouldnt feel bad for shipping kaishin in the past because this wasnt even a possibility like all of these years #if they are related that would def be gross so id stop #theres no way anyone couldve known tbh #Detective Conan #Magic Kaito #Kaitou Kid #Movie 27 #DCMK #Detco

[callisteios]

would you like to be a god? take this uquiz to find out what sort of god you'd be

#yeah okay let's address it i already made a quiz with this exact premise #and sequels are gross and uncreative #have you considered that i am feeling kind of gross and uncreative at the moment #also this is more like a part of the original #as many of these results come from the first round i literally just did not have the will to assign any more personalities at the time #anyway #have fun #tag yourself #etc #there ARE some really good ones here i think #new rooms might be my fav #quiz #uquiz #callisteios #personality quiz #i am NOT trying to be funny but wow i did not expect googling 'wound' to be so graphic. the things i do for you people #by the way ABBIE #i spent like an hour making that damn awful photoshop of the fucking saw bathroom i hate that you made that a thing #i don't think you understand how much basic photo editing knowledge i lack #how do get the images transparaent #how move #layers? #awful #im sleepy therea re like 10 more to add in the morning

[sergle]

Just double checking, in case: u cis? would be a shame if u figured out later ur not and they gotta cut the tiddies AGAIN

I've Looked At My Gender from lots of angles and at the moment the idea of being anything except a woman is (retching noise), but life is long and whatever happens in my future, happens

#*I* don't see me wanting to swap. that feels gross to me #I looked at my stuff and examined my gender and I really just enjoy. femininity. a lot. it's my city. I like womanhood #but it WOULD be funny if I got a reduction and then like 10yrs later also got top surgery. like. oh so we're gonna #just pay for the same surgery twice??? WACK #sergle answers