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lara635kookie · 3 years

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Ranking the best The 39 Clues books(First season because the other ones just aren't canon in my mind).

SPOILER ALERT!

If you're a Clue Hunter and is reading this post, when you finish it reblog it and do your ranking of The First Season books(please I need to know I'm not alone on this fandom)(Please someone tell me I didn't get to this fandom too late). Also this is only my opinion. If you think different feel free to share your thoughts(respectly). So let's go:

My Personal Favorites:

10-Beyond The Grave(Book Four written by Jude Watson):

Honestly this book is overall good and I really wanted to go Egypt but that's only in this place because Ian and Natalie don't show up in person, they're only mentioned by Amy and Dan sometimes. It may seem like a stupid reason but Ian and Natalie were the biggest enemies of Amy and Dan, arch-enemies since the two understand themselves by person and their appearances have always been so iconic, the chases, the talks, the fights, the teasing so the fact they weren't in this book just didn't feel right. The Cahills and the Kabras have a lot of chemistry, both as enemies and as much something more(if you get me, lovers cough cough), and the Kabras have been sorely missed in this book(at least by me).

9-The Emperor's Code(Book Eight written by Gordon Korman):

I don't know compared to the other ones, this one just look kinda forgettable. Maybe because Amy and Dan spend a good part of this book apart. But of course the story has its good moments which are when Dan gives an autograph for a girl (D. Cahill is priceless), when Dan tells the Wizards that he is a Madrigal (as we say in Brazil: Iconic, Memorable and Timeless) (Dan was very amazing in this book, if you disagree, disagree in silence) and when Amy saves Ian(aka Love of her life) from falling off Mount Everest.

8-The Viper's Nest(Book Seven written by Peter Lerangis):

I love that one but the other ones are just better. I like the ending with Isabel(and everyone) thinking that the Clue was Diamond and It wasn't. I also like the scenes with Kurt because I wanted Ian to meet him and Kurt make Ian jealous of Amy(don't judge my dreams). Another thing that I really like is the history. I really like studying history and I learnt so much about Shaka Zulu. And was also with that book that I realized that Isabel had arrived to stay and that she would be the Main Villain in the end somehow. Maybe That's another reason why I don't like much The Emperor's Code:Isabel didn't show up and I thought she would appear in all the other books after In Too Deep. Natalie on Storm Warning said that Isabel didn't trust Ian and her to handle the Hunt without Isabel anymore since Russia so that just doesn't make sense. Maybe she didn't appearead to give Cora Wizard the spotlight but anyway let's continue.

7-The Black Circle(Book Five written by Patrick Carman):

I love this one so much. Probably because in this book we see that Ian is also in love with Amy. On Book three he seemed to like her but then he and Natalie let Amy, Dan and Alistair locked on the cave and we only see Amy Side of this story. Her sadness. But we didn't know if Ian was sorry, if he regreted his actions. And when they come back on this book we see Ian still likes Amy and the fandom goes crazy. I mean even if you are a Jamy/Carian shipper or shipps another shipp you probably shipped Amyan before because they were the only promising couple on the series(at least on series one). Back to the book I Love The Holts defeating the Kabras and Amy and Dan doing an Alliance with Hamilton(Dan envying Hamilton for driving a Kamaz will be Forever iconic). Also this book was when I realized Irina wasn't bad. I didn't like her in the other books and I didn't notice much of her but everything changed on this book and I started to love her. * sad sigh * Moving on!

6-The Maze of Bones(Book One written by Rick Riordan):

Uncle Rick(we call him like that on Brazil, in portuguese is Tio Rick) did a really great job on this one. For a series that has several authors writing, the beginning is very important and it is a great responsibility for the first author because those who will write later have to understand what you wanted to convey in the beginning to make a coherent continuation. Rick Riordan did it flawlessly. We can identify ourselves in the characters and we get really connected to the plot, the history, the riddles about Benjamin Franklin and after finishing the book we wanna know more about what happens next. So Rick Riordan absolutely slayed this introduction and no one can tell me otherwise.

5-One False Note(Book Two written by Gordon Korman):

This book is just unforgivable. I love this with all my soul. Probably because It talks about Mozart and his history and I really love arts. Also because the writing of this book is so satisfactory and so well done. I mean I really thought Fidelio Racco was a real person. What I also love about that book is the fact that every character get to shine. Amy and Dan are the Main characters but the appearences of all the other characters are really remarkable so yeah That's it. Deserves this spot on the Top 5 for sure.

4-In Too Deep(Book Six written by Jude Watson):

Going now to the four horsemen of the apocalypse from the best books of The 39 Clues. In Too Deep It's just something so perfect It's inexplicable. Something I don't like much about In Too Deep is that when Isabel was fighting to Irina and Ian and Natalie were watching Natalie was like:Irina is going to get Shoot on the head, That's gonna be so good. Like she wanted Isabel to do this, like she would be disappointed if she didn't, like she was used to seeing this type of thing. Then, In Storm Warning she was soft like:Not blood. It's so repulsive(several authors series problem but the series is good anyway). About that book I love the start, I love the middle, I love the apex and If It wasn't for Irina's death in the end this would probably be even higher than already is. Why Irina, Jude? Also:Why Pony? Why Erasmus? Why McIntyre? Why Alistair? Why Lester? Why Natalie? Why Evan? Why everyone? Why not Jake or Cara? Back to the story Jude Watson is Just a genius for transforming a dream(or a nightmare) in Isabel Kabra and adding her to the book. I don't wanna cry today so I'm just going for the next one.

3-The Sword Thief(Book Three written by Peter Lerangis):

If this book was a part The Plastics of Mean Girls, The Sword Thief would be Karen Smith of The 39 Clues, because let's face it:Amy and Dan were really dumb of accepting an alliance with Alistair and the Kabras. Principally with the Kabras. I mean they already were kinda used to temporary alliances with Alistair but not Ian and Natalie but they should have expected that It would have been bad on the end. I mean yes they needed Ian's coin to open the cave to find the clue but they look so surprised when Ian and Natalie leaves them on the cave and they shouldn't because that was obvious that they were going to betray them in the final. So they should have accepted the alliance but being more distant to the Kabras and preparing themselves in case they try something(which was obvious they would). But at the same time, I'm glad they didn't because AMYAN IS JUST MY ENTIRE LIFE(And even a little bit of Danatalie this book is Just a masterpiece). Just like In Too Deep, I love everything about that book, except the end. And I am a Kpop fan(not the cringe obssessed type) and I really like to study about North and South Korea and their history but South Korea's caves just left me depressed. I'm gonna cry so let's change the subject.

2-Storm Warning(Book Nine written by Linda Sue Park):

I love everything about this book. Literally everything. The start, the middle, the apex and the end. I love this book mainly because Natalie got the spotlight that she deserved. I don't know why I like Natalie so much since the start. Maybe because when I started Reading the books I was eleven, just like her. And Maybe because she was pretty, rich, savage and sassy wich I always wanted to be. But there is something more that I don't know how to explain that is really relatable about Natalie even with my reality being too different from hers and this book was the confirmation I needed that Natalie would be my favorite character Forever. I Also like it because it happened on Bahamas and Jamaica(two places I really want to go in the future) and It got a lot of revelations and twists in the end(wich I love more than everything on a book). If Storm Warning was a person and slapped my face I would probably say:Thanks, Could you do that again?

1-Into The Gauntlet(Book Ten written by Margaret Peterson Haddix):

I usually don't like the endings of books because I'm sad that it's over and as all the other books were good I usually demand a lot from the endings, even more than the beginnings (for me the final impression is the one that stays, not the first). I generally like the endings but I've never looked at a ending book and said: This one overcomes all the other books. I normally like more the start or the middle books. But man Into The Gauntlet caught me off guard. DoD is already a trash ending, comparing to Into The Gauntlet, DoD(fanfiction-forced-canon) seems even worse(if That's even possible). Everything about that book It's just top-notch, high quality, god tier, flawlessly perfect. Stan Haddix. We believe in Into The Gauntlet Supremacy.

It's going to have a part 2. Bye.

#the 39 clues #39 clues #39clues #book ranking #season 1

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mami-koppe · 4 years

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Desperate - Dabi x Reader

This is my first fic ever in this fandom pls be gentl. no beta reader WE DIE LIKE SCUM. Also please note that english is not my native language so if you find something wrong *please* point it out 👀 Enjoy!

TW: smut, angst, mentions of drug use and abortion, violence, yadda yadda. aaa

Cyan eyes open up, alarmed and scared and anxious, only relaxing when following the rise and fall of the lump under the white comforter set just beside him. He knows he shouldn't be here; he's had a few more nightmares about a fellow villain finding out about your existence than he was comfortable with. In his dreams they would tear down your house, break the heirloom grandfather clock in your hallway, ravage all the cabinets and drawers (maybe they would find that picture of him under your Christmas-decorated pine tree, the only proof you had of his existence intermingled with yours, and you thought you hid it oh so well but Dabi's far more smarter than that). A shiver runs down his spine and he breaks a sweat when he imagines if Overhaul was the one raiding your apartment. The yakuza boss would most likely delight himself in breaking and putting you back together, again and again, only so he could leave in your bedroom wall a myriad of blood splatters for Dabi to find and grieve for. Chisaki would make sure he wouldn't even have a body to bury. Maybe if he was feeling lucky, not even a brick of your house would be intact, your whole life only resisting in Dabi's memory.

He wishes he could be honourable and selfless enough to say that's the main reason he never bothered to officialise your relationship; but even greater than the fear of coming home and finding your body reduced to a pulp, is the fear of being vulnerable (yet again). He kinda cares about you, yes, he can say that much, and anyone who has met you for more than 15 minutes know that you're in deep. He's not that emotionally stunted. But he's jaded enough to know that caring is a concept with many translations and definitions, and if you so happened to have a different one than he did, specially if that concept involved controlling and screaming and fighting and black bruises all over his back while his skin burned off at every flash of his quirk painfully taking over his body ... He couldn't just sit down and wait to find out.

Also, you seem pretty fine with this arrangement. He has a knack this has less to do with letting him roam free range, and far more with knowing that as soon as you express the need to define the feelings that have grown stronger and stronger for over three years, he will be out the door to never come back. And that simply won't do.

Almost as sensing his distress, you wake up and wrap both your arms around his neck. He tenses for a fraction of second, then relaxes, reaching out for the cigarette pack you leave in the nightstand just for him.

_ "What's on your mind, babe? You seem real distracted. I know you're usually kinda emo but that much brooding just isn't you. Are you okay? Perhaps you're having... cravings again? Did something happen? Was it crusty fuck again? If he tried to decay your face again, I'm so gonna fuck him up..." You run his fingers through his coarse hair, trying to show your adoration while lightly pressing your lips to his jaw and he shudders both from your ministrations and the mentions of his past cravings.

_ "...Whoa whoa whoa, calm down princess. Why are you even awake? It's still really fucking early for so many questions. One would think you would be out like a light by now, since we had so much fun last night, but guess I haven't fucked you hard enough if you still have half a mind to think about all that, dollface. And fuck you, I'm not emo." – he stops, cringing at his out-of-nowhere flirting and vague answers, hoping you don't see right through his crude words, thrown around in case you haven't noticed he's been shaking for the last 20 minutes.

Please don't notice. Please let it go. Please don't point it out.

_ "...Yeah, maybe you're right. But I should be asking you the same, it's 2am and you still got the energy to lewd me. And YES you are emo and well fuck you too. Forget I asked anything, love, if you want to we can talk about that tomorrow morning. Can't afford to be tense when tomorrow's gonna be such a long day, right? So what do you say about letting me tire us both out so we can finally have a full cycle of sleep?", you say, and in that moment he knows that you know.

The sudden pause in your sleep ridden speech tells that you have at least an idea that he's not fine in the slightest, but decided to just ignore it, knowing that your black haired lover wouldn't want to talk about it anyway. So you lift a leg just above his hipbone to pull him closer to your hot, warm core, both of you still naked and spent from your previous lovemaking, one of the few displays of affection he's completely comfortable with.

He runs his hands all over your sides, commiting them to his memory (just in case common sense comes to you without knocking and you finally leave him); suddenly his hands find your hair and tug at your nape, pulling your neck back to find his charred lips. Your smells mingle together, and it's all a blur of smoke, sandalwood, scotch and black pepper.

You kiss him, bringing his mouth towards yours with fervor, while slowly stroking his manhood, pausing around his tip, smearing his precum on your mouth with your fingers (you know he loves seeing you covered in him, and after all these years he wouldn't man up and admit it freely, so you tease him to no end). He can't find it in himself to be rough to you tonight, but it seems you have different plans because it doesn't look like you'll be patient enough for foreplay; and in a blink you are tangled in a mess of sheets and legs and sweat, him sliding swiftly into your heat, appreciating the drag of his swollen tip inside your pussy, going in and out roughly, the fast paced rythm of your skin slapping together only stopping when you feel the familiar head rush of your impeding orgasm and the sensation of his white hot seed spilling deep inside your throbbing center.

His low moans fill the room as he feels you tightly clenching around him; you cannot follow him in his vocal declarations due to being physically incapable of screaming anymore, a mix of pleas and gasps falling out your lips as he bottoms out and groans your name, fucking his cum deeper inside of you. The space between your foreheads close, both heavily panting near each others mouths, following a kiss that's way too sweet considering your personalities.

For a moment, he kinda wants to say those damned three words, but he will be dead before he makes a fool of himself like that, so he kisses your forehead and pull you to his chest, helping himself to a now dreamless sleep.

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It's one of your biggest flaws yet: you are far worse in keeping secrets than you give yourself credit for.

In the five years you spent together, he has plenty of evidence to support this case – all the gifts that were supposed to be a surprise, the job promotion you were hoping to disclose about at a movie night in your house (that said promotion tumbling out of your mouth in one of your daily, unimportant phone calls), the stray cat you tried to adopt without his knowledge (because obviously he would say no without even thinking about it, but now Tama's getting fatter and meaner than ever and Dabi lives for it), and you always said it was the other way around, that Dabi was the one who was way too good at uncovering things that he wasn't supposed to.

And in that exact moment, he wishes you were wrong, because the ripped blue cardboard box he finds forgotten in your bathroom floor just behind the toilet – probably fallen, since it's a bad habit of yours to let your shit fall all over the floor and eventually forget to pick it up – looks too much like the ones he would see in drugstores and at that time Shigaraki made him work undercover for a week in a brothel to gather intel about a winged pro hero who was kind of a degenerate, and he freezes.

He sensed something wrong weeks ago, your delicious skin even more tender to the touch and your face perpetually stuck in a barely concealed frown. He tried to ask you what's the matter a few times, before finally granting you the same leniency given to him when he was having a bad day and wanted to be left alone.

Now the only things going through Dabi's head is "why didn't she tell me", "wasn't she on birth control", "what the fuck is going on" and suddenly he understands why his – wife? girlfriend? lover? fuck buddy? SHIT – always said that some things can't just be left ignored. He never wanted to get high so much in his life.

Like a man possessed, he goes through your trash (it's not like he's not used to some dumpster diving and other unsavoury survival skills, since being a kinda prolific villain can only happen so late in life and before that, you have an empty stomach and way less standards than you'd like to), pausing when he finds what he was dreading: a fucking plastic wire, adorned with two dark pink lines. His eyes begin to blur and he can only thank so much you're at work right now so you can't hear his raging shouts ressonating around your room.

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He does what he does best: he ignores it, simply leaving it all exactly where he found it and waits for you to come home. He helps you cook your favourite meal – you insist it's his turn to choose, but he says he's craving yours – runs you a bath, making sure to douse every crevice of your body in that cherry body wash he loves to smell in you, makes love to you until your head spins and your body is feeling almost bloated with his essence.

Can't get anymore pregnant than that, huh?

He asks about your day, and you let it all out, and every time you make that face you do when you want to tell him something important, he kisses you until you're breathless and changes the subject.

He desperately hopes you choose to keep it.

Then, after you're sleeping soundly on his naked chest, he brings out the duffel bag he hid earlier beneath his side of the bed, gets dressed, gives Tama his beloved wet food, sitting him down for a few minutes of belly rubs and leaves your home, his home, sending you a text through his burner phone that tells you too much about an undercover mission for the LOV that might last for years and none about where your relationship stands.

He's never felt so inadequate. Suddenly he hates being a villain.

He hopes you might catch the underlying forlorn tone in his words – that this is a "goodbye", not a "see you soon" – and not foolishly wait for him to come back. But he kinda knows it is unreasonable to expect you to move on and find a more loving, present person to warm your bed, put a smile on your face, a ring on your left hand, give his only child a decent attempt of a family, promise you the world and keep that promise. He leaves knowing that much.

And as you wake up in the middle of the night, with a cold bed, an empty apartment, a text and the briefest memory of Dabi lovingly kissing your midriff, you cry out for what could have been. Said text was supposed to be monotonous, robotic even, and it's so much like Dabi to go on a mission without wanting to say goodbye in person (because he's too cool for that) that normally you wouldn't even bat an eye, but you know you'll never see him again because of the words adorning the end of your screen.

I love you.

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Yet again, Dabi's dreams haven't ever been easy on him. He jumps out of the bed, startled, as he fumbles with a bag of white pills which he spent the last year or so sneaking from your sight and angrily swallows four at once; the image of a little girl with her grandmother's hair and his azure eyes, no older than three, tightly clutching his hand and smiling. It's way too early in the morning for this shit and he can't be bothered to deal with that yet. Not sober.

Papa, look! I've drawn us today at school! I've made sure you look cool enough like you asked, okay? That's you in your coat, that's mama, that's Tama and that's me!

He's not sure he should burn the image to his mind or off his mind. He still hears your stupid giggles in the back of his head (probably it doesn't help that he has been watching almost daily for the last six months that particular video of you hollering, high as a kite, when he and the LOV raided the compounds of a drug cartel that was antagonising their plans, and let's say that Dabi has come home that day with more than a few weed satchels).

Feeling the top of his head getting heavier and his eyes blurring with difficulty to focus, he clings to the porcelain sink in his hotel room, mindlessly bangs his head on the cabinet just below the small mirror until his forehead is openly bleeding – not that he can feel anything when he's like that anyway, but he DID always try – and lets himself fall to his knees, silently glaring at the floor.

He somberly notes that his blood has painted the bathroom floor a vibrant red. He hopes yours isn't painted too.

Later that day when he has already puked almost all the drugs out his system, he and Kurogiri are sent on a minor errand; some human trafficking ring leader, a former ally, was threatening to spill out their secrets and they were to break and enter, kill him swiftly and move on with their lives, no biggie. But as he steps into the compound – a shell orphanage, he notes – Dabi knows it's not going to be a normal mission. Soon as the children know the leader's dead, most of them flee, making a run for their long lost freedom; but a small group, maybe six or seven of them, stays. And usually Dabi is proud of being the nonchalant, motionless member of the party, but with the late events even he can't help to be a little horrified when he notices that children as young as four have the same eyes he had when he fled his childhood home, Ende- his house.

Children that have seen so much grief and despair they can't be bothered to exit the building, even when he irritatedly screams at them to get out already as the walls roar up in flames. They have no reason for escaping; their will to go on died way before their bodies did. He can look into their eyes and tell already that they will turn out to be like him, or worse. This would be the perfect time for a rookie wide-eyed pro hero to appear and save these innocent children just so they can grow up so emotionally damaged that they will turn to villainy, to be eventually caught and brutally murdered by the very same hero.

Dabi knows the kids will stay rooted to the same spot until they're engulfed by the flames or choked up in poisonous smoke and that's gonna take so much longer; he's already in deep shit with Shigaraki because he said "no witnesses" and so many of them have already fled, so he does what he does best – ignores the vision he has of that little girl, his little girl, embraced by the blue fire of his body as he gives the children the most quick, painless death he can think of.

Dabi's thankful that they don't bother to make a sound. He doesn't think he could stay clean for much longer if he could hear the white haired girl's voice in the squeals and pitiful sobs of the children who stayed behind.

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He returns to his empty hotel room that day, still hearing Shigaraki's screeches ringing in his ear, and the only thing he wants to do is to swallow the whole bag of pills he still has under his mattress and doze off until he chokes up on his own vomit and doesn't wake up the next morning, but he cannot die, not yet, and that night he remembers the children's empty glares as he brings out the half full bottle of whiskey sitting besides his bed and drinks till he's tumbling unconsciously down the wall.

The morning after he wakes up a little emptier inside and his sheets are actually wet with the sweat he expelled during his goriest nightmare yet, but the possibility that yet another child is going to end like the ones he has spared killed the day before drives him mad with frustration. And then, he takes the longest steps he's ever taken in your home's direction.

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This time, is your turn to wake up in a sweat. You can clearly hear the noise of a window lock being picked (your former lover did this way too much in the beginning of your relationship, so much you suspected that he did it for fun, even when you gave him a spare key), and the sheer panic that runs through your whole being when your brain computes it's the nursery window lock being picked, you grab the pistol Dabi gave to you after a night out with your friends almost went sour in a robbery, and runs to your newborn daughter's room. You can feel the tears gathering around your eyes, desperate to hear her make any sound – anything to know she's alive – and when you kick the door open, the gun in your hands seems heavier than it does when shooting, as soon as you reckon the black hair and blue eyes you loved (honestly, love) so much, you seem to forget how to breathe.

The father of your child is holding onto her so tightly, a pained but relieved expression on his face as he clutches her so close to his warm chest, and you feel something wet running down both your cheeks as he presses his trembling lips to her forehead, almost like he expected to find the spare room in your apartment just the way he saw last, empty and full of broken spare parts of utensils and furniture. Your daughter is not bothered at all, like she recognizes him even if she never met him before and your heart is so confused.

Is he gonna leave again?

You longed for him throughout all your pregnancy, wanting him to know he was going to be a father, wanting him to see her first sonograms, feel her first kicks but you knew Dabi could only be there when his mission was over. And you waited, even if every cell in your brain screamed at you for it, confirming what you already suspected – he's abandoned you, both of you.

He thought that maybe you would be gullible enought to believe he was gone for a few months, not the slightest intention of leaving you behind, but in that moment, he knows that you know. And as you choose to let it go once again, he feels all the weight on his shoulders disappear as you both say, in unison:

"Welcome home."

#dabi x reader #bnha x reader #dabi x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha angst

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fictionallemons · 3 years

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My Supernatural Story

For years people told me I should watch Supernatural. "Oh, you like Sherlock and ship Johnlock, you would love Supernatural. Oh, you like writing fanfic, you should watch Supernatural." But I never did. I chalk it up to it starting the year I cut the cord on cable TV. By the time Supernatural started streaming it had been on so long I thought there was no way I could catch up.

Flash forward to 2019. I'm looking for something to watch when doing dishes and stuff because there's only so many time you can rewatch Murder, She Wrote (it's a lot, but there's still a limit). Another mom at the bus stop mentions Supernatural when I ask for show recommendations. "It's starting its last season. The first five seasons are the best, but it's still pretty good."

I look up how many seasons it's been by now and my jaw drops. Fifteen seasons? Jesus Christ. But the fact that it's officially ending give me motivation. Something about knowing exactly how many episodes I'm in for if I end up liking it makes me feel better about the whole thing. I'm also looking for a new fandom and I know there's an entire world of SPN fanfiction out there so if I end up liking the show, then I have a ton of fic open to me. I've been on Tumblr for a couple of years at this point, mostly for Sherlock, so I'm aware of this ship called Destiel, and I know it's pretty huge, so who knows, maybe I'll get into it.

I watch the first episode one sunny September afternoon before the kids get home from school. It's a little scary, a lot dark—I mean, the cinematography is like super dark, and I spend most of the episode wondering how I've gone this far in my life without knowing how fucking adorable Jensen Ackles's stupid face is. I came for the entry to the fanfiction, I stayed for Dean, not going to lie. Don't get me wrong, I like Sam, too, but even though in real life Jared Padalecki and I are the same age, when I start watching he's 22 and I'm 37, and I see him as a kid. Then I'm like—where's this Castiel character I've heard so much about? Quick Google later…he doesn't show up until the FOURTH SEASON? Are you serious? I have to watch three whole seasons before meeting the character I'm supposed to be shipping with my idiotic, adorable Dean?

Turns out I didn't mind waiting because I last all of three episodes before I break down and search the Dean/Sam tag on AO3. I learn the term Wincest. I cringe. Then I Google "starter Wincest recs." I'm in denial about this ship. I find Invisible Boy and other Weecest fics and think, gross. There's no way I can read about underage brothers. Blech. I start with Nyxocity. I don't want to read too far ahead of where I am in the show, so I start slow. But it's inexorable. Inevitable. The more I read, the more it all makes so much sense. What brother is going to literally sell his soul and damn himself to Hell to save his baby brother? Said brother is definitely in love with baby brother. Becoming Wincest trash is easy. And, shocker, my tolerance grows to a point where even Weecest doesn't bother me, as long as it's good. By the time the fabled Castiel shows up on the scene, I'm so deeply involved in Sam and Dean's love story that I kind of find Cas annoying. Handsome and charismatic, but annoying. Not to mention constantly fucking up.

And remember when I said I stayed with the show for Dean? True, I still spend a good portion of every show marveling over the way the camera adores Jensen's face, but Sam, strong, smart Sam grew on me so hard. (Soulless Sam rivals Dean on the hot scale any day imo.) He's another flavor of adorable.

So I make it to the end of Season Five. Swan Song, aka a Wincest love letter. I sob my way through it and think. Okay. I could stop now. I'd be okay to stop. But there were so many legendary episodes I had heard of and couldn't bring myself to watch out of order, like Baby and the Scooby Doo crossover. Not to mention my poor Sam is in hell…or is he?…and Dean and Lisa make me want to throw up in my mouth. And the fanfiction obsession's getting worse. At this point, I'm deeply into J2 fics as well (all the fun of Wincest without the pesky incest part), and reading the occasional Destiel fic even though it doesn't really do anything for me, but there are so many interesting characters that my favorite writers reference and I have no idea who they are: Charlie? Benny? Rowena? Jack? I don't know who these people are, but I know I won't be complete until I find out. So I keep watching. And reading. And, yes, eventually writing my own Wincest and J2 fics, too.

By the time the show shuts down in March, I've watched probably half the episodes. By the time it comes back in October, I've caught up. I've watched every episode there is. Seven left. Seven episodes I'll have to actually wait a whole week in between to watch, like the old days.

I sob when Cas dies in Despair. The guy grew on me, even though I never could ship him and Dean canonically. The fact that the writers made canon that he was in love with Dean really changes the entire way I view the show now. Not in a bad way, just…the show really isn't about romance. It's about Sam and Dean and saving the world. So while I'm sad to lose Cas, I'm happy they're ending the show the way it started, with Dean and Sam and the Impala. I love how they dealt with Chuck and I cry when Jack fades away. I sob again when they pull a motherfucking montage on us at the end of 15x19. But I'm happy it's just the two of them again. (I am kind of disappointed that the series started with Sam as the emotional core, and then shifted to Dean, and never quite figured out how to shift back. Yes, Sam's awesome, and he's had some moments to shine, and he's saved Dean as many times as Dean's saved him. But has his arc really been as epic as Dean's turned out to be?)

And yet I'll be okay if they drive off into the sunset together, literally. Even if they die, if they die together and end up in their shared heaven, I'll be okay. I need my boys to be together, forever and always. I need them to have each other. I need them to have peace. I need them to choose each other, over and over again, always and forever. It sucks for everyone they've met and loved that all those people are basically collateral damage in the Sam and Dean Save the World Show, but oh well. That's the show. That's why I watched 327 episodes in 14 months. That's why I've worried about these boys since episode one. That's why I'm grateful I finally started watching. In Cas's words, the show changed me. Yes, I joined the fandom about fourteen years too late.

Better late than never.

My Wincest fics on AO3 My J2 fics on AO3 My bookmarks on AO3 in case you want recs

#you changed me #spn #spn spoilers #the end is near #sam winchester #dean winchester #my supernatural fandom adventure #fandom #spn fandom #one more #spn family #spn 15x19 #spn 15x18 #castiel #wincest #wincest4life #nyxocity #dollylux

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zertzertzhang · 4 years

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Stand and Deliver: My Life Turned Upside Down CH.2

A/N: This is my first time writing on Tumblr, so please bear with me! I am usually active on FFNet and AO3, but since this fandom is basically nonexistent except for here, I thought maybe I could post my works for this movie here. The story is a fanfic based on the 1988 movie ‘Stand and Deliver’ starring Edward James Olmos, and taking a deeper look into the lives of the impoverished students in East LA.

Eventual Angel/OC, and warnings of racial slurs with some physical violence.

First chapter link here > https://zertzertzhang.tumblr.com/post/627185848305270784/stand-and-deliver-my-life-turned-upside-down

Chapter Two: Circus

The second Vianne stepped out of the car, she realized her mistake. The school wasn’t what she expected at all. Garfield High broke the scale...in a bad way. Chipped walls decorated the main hall, flooded with overflowing trash bins and rusty pipelines. It had to have been decades since the last renovation, with the building looking like something she saw from abandoned prefectures.

Like all other complexes she’d seen around there, the place was standing on its last two feet. This was supposed to be the best building around.

Her white Giuseppe sneakers stepped on something sticky, and it was a challenge to hold in a disgusted snort. There was dried gum everywhere on the sidewalk, making Vianne wonder why they even bothered with trash cans in the first place. She winced when it was clear that her shoes would be torn to shreds by the end of the day.

Then came the worst part of her arrival; people stared. And it wasn’t some half-assed look you gave to a passersby on the streets. Students were either throwing her a look-over or straight on gaping. It could’ve been the way she was dressed, or the fact that she was probably the only Asian mingling in the midst of Latinos and very few Caucasians. Most likely both.

Ironed blouses and slim denim were not in fashion around here. Among the rest of the population with oversized shirts and baggy mom jeans, Vianne was the runt of the litter. She wanted to jump back into the car, go home, and put on an invisibility coat. The dirty look she saw from some of the girls did nothing to calm the queasy storm in her stomach.

“-That fresh meat?”

“It’s a fuckin’ chink. What’re they doin’ here?”

“Heh, looks like a lost puppy.”

The boys were doing a terrible job at whispering. Vianne wasn’t sure if it was an attempt at passive aggression or just plain stupidity. She glared in their direction, lips pulled into a slight frown as she entered the building. A cold sweat broke through her back, stretching its spindly fingers around her body in a tight cocoon.

Ignore them and get on with it.

Her mind screamed at her to keep walking, and she obliged. Repeating the mental mantra, Vianne soon found her way into the main office with her slip in hand. A handful of police officers crowded in one tiny space, speaking in rapid Spanish. Order did not exist in this school; the secretary was talking to five people at once, without the time to think about the things she said. Voices filled with agitation hung in the air.

Vianne was this close to thinking she had entered the wrong room when a small figure spotted her from behind.

“Miss? Can I help you?” A small tap on her shoulders sent her whirling around in alarm. Her little outburst startled the short woman behind her as well. When Vienne finally registered the lack of threat in front of her, her cheeks flushed bright red.

“Sorry! I’m looking for Racquel Ortega. It’s my first day and I was told to come here to get my finalized schedule.” The young woman spoke so fast she swore her lips would fall off.

The curly-haired woman in the maxi dress looked surprised. “Ah, that would be me. Are you Vianne Yang.”

Vianne nodded. “I was supposed to meet my TA instructor for math. It’s my first period.”

Ortega smiled warmly. “Yes. Welcome to Garfield High. Please follow me.” She held out a hand, and Vianne shook them without hesitation.

The duo weaved back and forth in the crowds, desperate to dodge the flying paper balls. Ortega would yell once in a while at a group of boys before pointing to the office behind her. The way her docile demeanor went from zero to a hundred freaked the young woman a bit. But Vianne couldn’t blame her. Had she been in her shoes, she would’ve quit before she even started.

As it turned out, her instructor was a retired engineer. Of all places, Vianne didn’t expect that to come from a high school teacher, particularly in this neighborhood. Ortega did an excellent job at filling in the details. It would seem that Jaime Escalante needed a breath of fresh air from the corporate environment.

Vianne almost felt sorry for him. There was no relaxation here; she’d be surprised if the teachers weren’t dropping dead from exhaustion because of the students. Garfield, from what she’d seen so far, could drive a devout nun to insanity.

The increasing voices of everyone around spiked her anxiety to new levels. She was doing her utmost best to not break down and cling onto the older woman for dear life. The mass of bodies was like an unforgiving current, threatening to wash her away if she slipped up.

They reached a door with the sign ‘Math 1A’ scribbled on the whiteboard next to it. Someone had decided that a drawing of a dick was appropriate to be placed right under the description. The person even added a smiley face onto the artwork, showcasing their enthusiasm. Real classy.

“Racquel please come to the front desk. Racquel please come to the front desk.” Ortega’s walkie-talkie crinkled pitifully, before choking out a command. The math advisor sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She nudged Vianne closer to the door.

“Here’s the classroom. Mr. Escalante should be there already. Good luck with your school year.” A tight smile appeared on Ortega’s face, and within seconds, she was making a mad dash back to the main hall. All alone, Vianne was left standing there feeling like a complete fool. She blinked at where Ortega was previously, and the sense of dread overwhelmed her. On cue, the bell rang its warning. Everyone groaned in unison like a chorus before the wave of students began flowing into the classrooms.

Lucky for her, she had no need to run to class. Grabbing the nob with renewed strength, Vianne pulled herself into the room. There was one person at the front desk; a middle-aged man nearing his sixties stood near the chalkboard, hand moving furiously as he wrote down an equation. She prayed that this was going to be the right person.

“Mr. Escalante?” Vianne cringed at her pronunciation of his name. She herself knew what it was like when people screwed up hers in the past. But this man had an entirely different level of difficulty. Ortega’s way of saying it felt so natural compared to hers, which sounded like an insecure toddler butchering their first word.

The man turned his head to face Vianne, eyes widening a fraction. His oversized glasses gave him a sage-like appearance despite the head, or half-head, of dark hair. The bald spot in addition to his very casual attire made her think of a grandpa who was likely to yell at the kids across the lawn.

At the sight of her dumbstruck state, he quirked his lips. “Yes, how may I help you?”

The slight South American accent trailed after his speech, giving away his ethnicity. Vianne felt her mouth open and close, but the nervousness took the words from her mouth. She stuck out her hand that held the transfer letter. Escalante better have known about this, or she’ll flip a lid.

“I’m Vianne,” she explained. “Your TA. I think Mrs. Ortega already told you about me?”

Escalante’s brows rose to new heights, his amused smile broadening. “Yes! Miss Yang, is it? Welcome to my class!” The elongated hiss in his way of speech, coupled with the wild gesture of his arms painted the picture of a mad scientist in her head. It was nearly endearing.

“I’m afraid there’s not enough chairs for an extra student,” Escalante said. “Please stand here and wait for everyone to arrive so I can take a headcount for the others.”

Vianne obeyed without a word and flattened herself against the wall next to him. In response, the door was barged open, and the group of students flooded the room like a swarm of wasps entering their hive. Restless chatter buzzed her ears as she took note of everyone that rounded the class. It was hard to catch what most of them were saying; Spanish wasn’t the language requirement she took back in Napa.

Knowing French wasn’t the best course to help her in this situation. And even then, she only took it up to level two. The people before her all wore the same dazed expression, jeering in loud volumes and hooting on the sides.

Someone shot a rubber band across the room, hitting one of the boys square in the face. Angry shouts erupted from both sides as the rest of them began to laugh at the brawling duo. More paper balls were thrown, and Vianne could hear some of them yelling ‘bitch’ to one another.

It was a fucking joke. The whole class was a joke––scratch that––the whole school was a joke. And Vianne was the poor audience that bought the overpriced ticket to the hellhole circus. There was not a word that could describe the boiling feeling in her gut. She couldn’t believe it; this was the place she had to deal with for another year.

There was no way the teachers here could’ve survived each day without going into a catatonic state before school ended. Vianne drummed her fingers against her books without mercy. A panic attack was just inches away from happening if the class refused to settle down. And from the look on Escalante’s face, it would appear that they shared the same sentiment.

A scowl donned his face, creasing the heavy lines on his forehead. If it weren’t for Vianne’s distracted state, she would’ve been frightened by those narrowed eyes.

“Come now!” Escalante’s voice boomed throughout the small room. “You don’t want no mama’s chancla when you get home, no? I’d love to see you fight with your parents around.”

The overt threat was not lost among the students, with some of them slinking away in defeat. Others ‘booed’ at the command, but made no extra attempts to disrupt the already late start of the lecture. It took about five minutes to get their total attention to the board, and that alone fried Vianne’s brain.

“Orale!” Escalante’s mood quickly brightened at the cooperating mass, his smile twinkling with interest. “Allow me to introduce my new TA. She will be your lovely assistant for the rest of the school year. Any extra questions, she will answer for you.”

His hands gestured to her like a magician preparing his new subject for a spin. But only in this state, nothing was magical. It became clear that Escalante was waiting for her to present herself; the man eyed her expectantly, his grin not budging an inch.

Vianne felt her cheeks flush so hot that it put the musty LA weather to shame. Clearing her throat, she stepped forward. “Hi, uh, I’m Vianne. It’s a pleasure to meet you all...uh, hope I could be of some help.”

An urge to facepalm was strong. Had her grades been irrelevant to her stay in Math 1A, she would’ve made a beeline for the door. The reception after her introduction was a nightmare, because everyone began jabbering all at once.

“The fuck?!” A young man with a messy afro glared at her. His buddies around him sniggered in agreement.

In the front, a chubby male with curly hair snorted. “Booooring!” His female friends rolled their eyes and swatted him on the shoulders. But their giggles weren’t held in for long.

Vianne wanted to find the nearest cliff and throw herself from it. If she converted to Buddihsm now, maybe she’ll even have a decent shot at getting a nice reincarnation.

“First you, now the chink?! This is messed up man!” A few more hostile tones rose from the back.

Her eyes flared. Vianne changed her mind; she didn’t want to throw herself off a cliff anymore, she wanted to throw them. Her body trembled with brewing rage under her skin. The nerve of the scoundrels! As if she wanted to be here! If it were up to her, she wouldn’t even spare them the time of day. Like an uncontrollable tick, her temper fired in sparks. A snide retort was about to make its way to the public when Escalante’s hands came up in a flash.

“Silence!” The tone of his command left no room for arguments. “Another remark as such, and all of you will be spending Saturday school for a month!”

The teacher was practically bristling from head to toe. His friendly disposition came and went at a dizzying speed, tugging Vianne onto an emotional roller-coaster. However, she was nonetheless grateful for the save. One thing was for sure, skin color was not up for debate in his classroom. At least she found an ally in desperate times.

At his outcry, the students grumbled amongst themselves and quieted down. She still received dirty looks from the girls, but they were mostly silent. One youngster in the front row with earrings gave her a lopsided grin and tutted with refined casualness.

“Yo ese! Does that mean if you assign sex homework I can ask her number?”

A few other boys cheered from the back, throwing their thumbs up as if they heard the best joke in record time. The girls cringed and sent disgusted scowls their way, with one of them commenting about how horny the bastards were. Only one person in the audience didn’t react. The girl with short, curly hair looked at Vianne, a pitying stare adorned her guise.

Humiliation wasn’t something Vianne dealt with on a daily basis. And the sudden onslaught nearly had her burst into a tearful temper tantrum. Glancing over to Escalante, she could see the patience waning from him as well. The class was saved from another wrath from either of them when the bell rang again.

Without a second thought, everyone except for the girl with short hair bolted for the door. The insult Vianne had prepared was lodged in her throat, unable to make their move. Was this a mistake? She was sure that it wasn’t even halfway through the first period, they still had more than an hour left. Time was a foreign concept to her in this town, and she figured her mind must’ve been playing tricks on her.

“Um, is class over?” It was a rhetorical question. But what answered her caught her off guard.

“Give it a minute,” the girl said. Her pencil tapped with a delicate rhythm against the desk as she wore a tired expression. Vianne stared at her with disbelief before turning her head to the instructor. Like the girl, Escalante showed no interest in leaving, instead opting to go towards the window.

Curiosity got the best of her, and she soon joined him by the blinds. “What’s going on?”

“They rigged the bell again.” From Escalante’s frown, she reckoned that this was a common occurrence. Following his gaze, her eyes landed on a group of young men congregated before the main school alarm. All of them were donned in dark clothing, wearing baggy jeans and beanies. The distance made it hard to see their faces, but Vianne thought she caught sight of a tall figure moving amongst them. He was laughing obnoxiously, while engaging in a bro-shake with a shorter male.

None of that was relevant, though, because the bell rang again, this time from the superintendent. His red face deepened to a shade of purple as he and the principal began their rounding of the rioting teens. The mob of students were herded back to their respective classrooms, all groaning and whining at the ‘unfair treatment’ of their lunch break.

“Lunch isn’t for another two periods!” Principal Molina shouted. “Get back to class!” His finger pointed to the doors, and his eyes bulged like an angry bull’s.

“Shut the fuck up!” A few students jeered. More paper balls were thrown, but there wasn’t anything Molina could do about it.

All the while, Vianne and the girl sat dumbstruck as they stared at the whirlwind of people coming back to their seats. Vianne swore that if this was how it was going to be for the rest of the day, then she’ll gladly accept them leaving on their own accord.

After another ten minutes wasted on trying to get her classmates to settle down, Escalante wiped his brow with a handkerchief. The toll of the students had taken its effect on him as well. But the sly grin never left his face, unbreakable like hardtack.

“I told you it was futile to escape,” he taunted softly. “There’s always a bigger fish in the pond.”

Vianne sent him a disbelieving look. Was the man not afraid of backlash? But the rest of the class only ignored him and glared, defeated. The class TA let out a breath of relief, for a moment she feared that it’ll lead to another brawl, this time at the instructor.

“Turn to page fifteen! And I want all of your homework turned in to Vianne right here. Once you’ve done that, work on problems one through ten on the multiplication of fractions.” The command was calm and precise, not a word stuttered. Escalante corrected the glasses on his nose and squinted at the chalkboard, not giving a fuck about the moaning teens.

It was Vianne’s cue to get to work. She didn’t hesitate, and began roaming around the room collecting wrinkled papers. With time, she learned that the girl who stayed behind was Ana, the frizzy-haired girl behind her was Claudia, and next to Claudia was the redheaded Lupe. Neither of the two gave Vianne much of a glance, preferring to ignore her existence as she took their homework.

Not bothering to tell them about the mutual disdain, Vianne clicked away happily. She soon found out that the man who kept asking for sex was Tito, his lopsided smile broadening when she came to take his paper.

“How ‘bout we do a trade,” Tito suggested, licking his lips. “My work for your number.”

Vianne wished very much to flip him off and top it with a whack on his head. But she chose to snatch the homework from his hands without a word. A snort escaped her as she turned around.

The boy next to him, Frank ‘Pancho’ Garcia, hooted. “Rejected!”

Tito scoffed. “Tsk, tsk. Playin’ hard to get I see.” He waved a casual hand and went back to his workbook. “It’s her loss.”

That’s what every virgin says. Vianne rolled her eyes at the added comment. The stack of writings were presented to Escalante, who took it with a gracious ‘thank you’. His lack of reaction to the jeers made her question just how much he was going to take because of his job. The probability of him being numb to the antics was high.

Just when Vianne thought her task was done for the time being, the door creaked open. She raised a brow; there were three more seats left in the corner, so it made sense that there were more people coming in. Facing the entrance, Vianne tried to get a better look than using the corners of her eyes.

Her stomach lurched at the sight, and she had to bite her lips to keep from hyperventilating. If her memory served her right, then those were the exact same boys she saw loitering around the alarm. The shortest one with a bandana stalked up to the front, head bobbing with self-assured arrogance. His hollow eyes stared at her with mild interest before they hardened when Escalante came into his view.

“Kimo,” he drawled. “Who’s the freshie?” The languid demeanor gave away his stoned state. Vianne made a subconscious step away from him and his pals, eyeing them warily through her glasses. He smirked, showing off a row of white teeth, seemingly glad at her reaction.

“You’re late, Chuco.” To her side, Escalante came into the conversation. “Vianne’s your new TA and I need you to sit your ass on a seat.”

Chuco gave a slighted look her way before he sauntered past her to the back, followed by his buddies. Vianne didn’t realize how tall the teen she saw through the window was until she was mere inches away from him. Dressed in an oversized bomber jacket and jeans too big for his waist, the towering youth could easily pass as a man in his twenties. A good feet taller than her would be a low estimation.

What on earth are his parents feeding him?!

Vianne stared straight on, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing her discomfort. Like Chuco, he also paid her no attention as he strolled next to the ‘leader’, plopping down on the desk in a bored manner.

It made sense that Escalante would want their homework as well, so she made a begrudging advance in their direction. Her feet padded across the room, drilling needles of dread into her legs with each stride.

“I need your homework, please.” Vianne tried to sound as polite as possible. But the grinding of teeth made it hard to sound sweet.

Chuco leered. “Ain’t got no homework, chica. Do the problems in ma head.”

One didn’t need a degree in astrophysics to know he was messing with her. Vianne grinned a little too forcefully and sighed. “Fine. Please turn to page fifteen and work on problems one through ten.”

She walked over to his tall companion, prepared for another unpleasant conversation. “Homework, please.”

The young man proceeded to pull his beanie lower over his ears. At that, Vianne was millimeters away from flipping her shit. Did the blockhead not comprehend? Or was he messing with her, too? Her father did say that certain people around the area couldn’t speak English, so she tried to push the excuse in a better light. Maybe he really didn’t understand her.

“Give me your tarea, por favor?” She tried to remember the basic Spanish from her previous encounters. But her knowledge decided to ditch her last minute. “Uh, Speak Ingles?”

He looked at her, eyes wide with what she hoped was understanding, and his lips twitched. Then his brows joined in, before he busted out laughing. Chuco howled along with him, slapping him on the shoulders with glee.

“Sometimes,” the tall youth answered. He smirked, tilting his head in her direction. Vianne balled her hands into fists as she watched on. The tips of her ears burned with a passion.

“Orale Angel!” Chuco high-fived him hard. “Nice one!” The duo continued their chorus of laughter, completely oblivious to the subject of their jest.

Vianne wished that turning invisible was a possible feat. It was adamantly clear that this was going to be a long year. The storm inside her grew, barely holding the thunders at bay.

A/N: As per usual, shoutout to @classic80sand90smovieloves2 for encouraging and helping me get over writers block and whatnot ;)

#stand and deliver #angel guzman #angel guzman imagine #80s movies #fanfiction #fanfic #80s movie imagines #lou diamond phillips #edward james olmos #jaime escalante #stand and deliver headcanon

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drysaladandketchup · 3 years

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I Want To Talk About Cringe Culture and Personal Media Consumption

The response to certain recent events have, rather unfortunately, reminded me of how many people really seem to have made “cringe culture” their entire platform.

You know you don’t actually need to take a ride on that high horse just because you don’t like something or it’s been deemed garbage by some internet nobody and you’re all “woke” now, right? Because half-assed “jokes” and bad-taste comments always sound like some of you are just riding a train because all the “cool kids” are on it.

I’ve moved out of fandoms because the story started going places I wasn’t interested in, or the characters did, or my own fictional interests simply shifted. And I’m very aware of the valid reasons people leave stories that become messy or inconsistent or off-putting.

There’s plenty of stuff I used to like and now don’t simply due to the passage of time. I’m not saying I’ve never made off-hand jokes about them, but eventually I just... moved on. It’s so simple not to hang yourself up on the fact you’ve grown and changed and something doesn’t jive with you anymore.

But then cringe culture fucking exploded onto the scene.

Congratulations, everything you like or have ever liked is trash, now.

You aren’t allowed to just enjoy something that makes you happy anymore, because it has flaws of some kind.

Because it’s not high art, top-tier, godly cinema. Whatever that even means, because objectively “good” cinema doesn’t really exist.

Literally no piece of media is perfect; certainly not in the eyes of every single human being on earth. Yet somehow, it became the “cool thing” to hate on things; popular or not, old or new, niche or mainstream.

And of course, half of anyone’s opinions on something is formed first and foremost by its fans. Sure, fanbases can get insane; passion does that to fandoms. They’re made up of so many different parts and people, from different backgrounds with different interests and experiences.

But your experience with a fandom, and ultimately the media it’s discussing, is entirely based on what parts of it you decide to engage with. If you don’t engage with something personally and only judge it by the wider breadth of its fanbase, the loudspeakers of it’s darkest corners, the whispers of memes and out-of-context jokes, you will probably never enjoy anything; there’s just too many clashing opinions and niches and preferences and interpretations.

Cringe culture (and cancel culture, if we’re being real) has ruined the inherent idea that you can just look at something and choose to like it or leave it. It’s made a mockery of the terms “problematic” and “discourse” because everything has to be a problem, a lame fad, a perfectionist dream or a hellish nightmare with no nuance or in-betweens. No personal perspectives or opinions; it’s either a masterpiece or it’s the definition of evil.

I think we all need to acknowledge that life is rarely so cut-and-dry, and fiction has the same complexities.

People always say we have to acknowledge flaws, and they’re right, but most of us are here just to be happy. I don’t owe anyone my emotional labour, nor should I have to jump through hoops to defend what I like every five seconds, prefacing myself or writing disclaimers because it isn’t perfect or someone else thinks it’s silly. I’m very aware the issues exist, but eventually, when you’ve been beaten over the head with them a million times, you stop being able to find any enjoyment in the original content; all that love is sullied, and that hurts a lot. Especially if, like me, you struggle to find things that appeal to you, so you become obsessive when you do.

It’s not about being ignorant to problems; it’s about knowing when I just need happiness and joy and positivity. It’s knowing that we are literally not wired to be angry and upset over everything all the time, so we don’t need people invading the spaces to make us feel bad for having real feelings or liking things.

Not everything is a lack of critical thinking. Sometimes we’re just tired.

Like, guys, there’s shit I hate to the moon and back, that makes me seethe, that makes me want to rant until I’m red-faced; be it something I’m not a part of, or stuff within a fanbase I am a part of. You know what I do? I try to temper my experience, I manage my exposure through blacklisting and careful following, and I move on. Does shit slip through? Of course, for various reasons, and it does irk me when I come across it.

But there’s no rhyme or reason to me going into tags I hate just to spout shit about something I know makes others happy, especially if it’s something I don’t have the full context for or understanding of. I don’t generally go rambling about my anger (yes, yes, hypocritical is this post), I don’t find positive posts about things I hate just to leave rude tags and mean comments. I try not to make people feel bad for liking something I don’t. Why would I waste my time being unhappy or making fun of others, when I’m in the one place where I have the power to just go and be happy elsewhere? Who the hell is that upset all the time?

Everything I watch, read, write, listen to, blog about, it engages me or makes me feel something. That’s literally all there is to it. And you know, between my anxiety, my adhd, my depression, and just all the shit life throws at us, I, like so many others, cling to anything that gives me any shred of emotional responsiveness or happiness or catharsis. And what evokes that will be different for everyone.

I don’t engage with stories because they’re deemed the best or the most progressive or because they cater to my demographic and I should therefore be enthralled to them on principle; I engage with them because something about the story or people intrigues me. I don’t even always know what it is that draws me in, I just know it gives me very real feelings. Sometimes it’s the whole story, sometimes it’s only certain parts of the plot, sometimes it’s only a few characters or even just a single character, sometimes it’s certain relationships.

You literally don’t have to like every aspect of a thing: there are no rules to how or why you enjoy and engage with something. You don’t have to be super deep into the lore, or all the character’s lives, or watch hundreds of episodes. It doesn’t have to be a perfect representation of you, or the life you want, or even the world you want. You don’t have to care about everyone and everything in equal proportion; most of us just don’t have the emotional capacity.

You can just orbit around the parts you like, and ignore the rest, if that’s what maximizes your satisfaction.

It comes down to emotions, plain and simple. Some of you seem to find that very idea threatening or ridiculous simply because you don’t have the same ones.

Hating something simply because it’s been deemed the “cool thing to do” doesn’t actually make you cool. It doesn’t make you sound intellectual or superior. If you don’t like something, fine. That’s you, that’s me, that’s everyone with preferences.

You don’t need to go drag down others who do find enjoyment in something, or rant and roar about how stupid the thing is, just to make yourself feel better. You don’t need to drop mean comments and jokes about something just because all you know about it is that it’s been deemed “cringe”, or because you fell out of love with it and now want to feel better than the “losers/fools” who still like it.

You can hate all you want; your feelings are real. It’s fine to not like something.

But, seriously, just let people enjoy things. It may be fiction, but the emotions are deep and wild and messy and uncontrollable.

Your behaviour, on the other hand, is all on you.

#text #ramblings #fandom talk #discourse #long post #ah the hypocrisy of using 'discourse' after what i said #but i suppose that's what this is

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tsarisfanfiction · 4 years

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Please can I ask E, L, O and Z from the writer asks list.

Of course you can! I’m always up for answering things :D

E. Have you ever written a crossover?

Yup! I’ve written a handful of them actually, from my first and only bashing fic Vampire vs Shinobi (Twilight and Naruto - I have always hated Twilight) which ngl is only still up on my accounts because it’s something I’ve written and if I prune fics to only be the ones I’m currently proud of... many fics would not stay up very long. My second-biggest fic, both in terms of wordcount and popularity, it also a crossover. The Combat School was my twist on the super common 2012 trope “the exorcists from the manga D.Gray-Man take part in the Triwizard Tournament”, and was my first 100k word fic and I think still ranks highly if you look at Harry Potter/DGM crossovers on FFN by reviews/favourites/followers. I think at one point it was as high as 4th but I doubt it’s that high any more. Slightly sneaky is my TAG/Fight Rising crossover Stolen Shadows, because strictly speaking you could just call it a dragon!AU for TAG, but they’re based on the fandragons I’ve got for the Tracy boys+Thunderbirds on the site and FR does have its own category on AO3 and FFN.

I think those are my only published ones, but I do enjoy prodding at ‘what if these two ‘verses collided’ in my head so there are a few others floating around that’ll probably never be actually written, but they’re fun to play with.

L. What is your favourite fic idea that you don’t think you’ll ever write?

Oh boy, this one’s tough. I usually try to write everything I think is worth anything, but some of them are just huge, so whether or not they’ll happen is another matter entirely. Because I’m really bored I’ll talk about all the current ‘huge and too ambitious to probably ever finish’ ideas. If they do end up one day happening, ah well, you heard them here first :P

Love Makes Fools (One Piece) - A retelling of the Wano Arc (most likely to be scrapped because the daydreaming I call planning happened long before the arc started so none of it is anything like how Oda’s actually shown) that’s actually a shipping fic, unusually for me. Shachi saves Kid’s life and Kid falls in love with him, leaving Shachi to handle the Kid Pirates while the StrawHeart alliance are off doing their usual crazy shenanigans and winding Kaido up.

Fight Against the Tide (Boku no Hero Academia) - A retelling of the entire manga except it’s not Izuku that’s Quirkless, but Bakugo, and unlike Izuku, Bakugo is determined to make it on his own and turns down the offer of One for All (but still manipulates All Might into training him). Lots of Bakugo and Mei chaos as she gives him the support gear he needs to keep up without a Quirk.

If They Never Were (One Piece) - A retelling of the entirety of One Piece (ahahah) except if Luffy never met Shanks and therefore a) never wanted to be a pirate and b) never ate the Gomu Gomu no Mi. Follows Luffy’s adventures in the Marines, and explores what would have happened to the rest of the Straw Hats if they never met Luffy - or at least, never met pirate!Luffy. I actually have a cast of OCs ready to go for this but this project is so ludicrously big I doubt it’ll ever be finished.

TAGxPJO thing - The Greek Gods foresaw the creation of IR and agreed with it, but there was one problem: the Tracy family are all suited to the sky, but most of the Earth is covered in water. Cue Gordon Tracy, son of Lucille Tracy and... Poseidon! The Tracys all know about demigods and gods and stuff but still consider Gordon their full brother, and to keep the monsters away from the powerful young demigod they ended up on the island where Poseidon could protect them (and a promise from Zeus that he won’t blast Thunderbirds out of the sky for having a son of Poseidon in them). Chiron’s going crazy knowing there’s a demigod out there somewhere that he can’t find and train.

TAGxDCMK thing - Okay, so this one is probably my absolute favourite. Scott sees something on a rescue that the Black Org didn’t want him to, so he got APTX’d, and TB1 got stolen. Conan and Haibara take him in and hide him from the world (including his own family) and he joins the fight to take down the BO. Meanwhile, the Tracys are going crazy looking for Scott. In this AU no-one knows who IR really are, so Conan and co. don’t know Scott’s real name. However, the Tracys are still a rich family so they’ve rubbed shoulders with the Kudos before and Scott’s met Shinichi as a kid and realises who he is. At some point they end up going to Tracy Island? idk, not sure where it would go after that. And KID is involved because you can’t not involve KID.

O. Is there any fandom you’ve been into that you haven’t written fic for? Why not?

Many, usually because I’m just not inspired enough to actually write anything for them. If they’ve got a really complex canon, or something I just can’t get my head into, I tend to not write, either. Same with if there’s a character I can connect to enough. Examples include Homestuck, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventures (although I do have a vague wip for a Steel Ball Run fic, actually) and Miraculous Ladybug, but I’m sure there’s more if I think harder.

Z. Post an excerpt from either your first fic or your most recent one.

Oh hell, why don’t we do both so I can cringe and cry and what I used to be like vs what I’m like now. Going with posted only (wips are a whole other kettle of fish).

First ever posted fic, from September 2009: Unwanted (Naruto). The opening:

There was not a sound to be heard. For once, there was no breeze caressing the emerald leaves in the forest surrounding Konoha. Not a single bird sang; nothing stirred. The bright blue sky didn't contain one cloud - the sunshine was unbroken.

A raven haired teenager stood in the heart of the wood, gazing emotionlessly at the Village Hidden in the Leaves with cold, black eyes.

"It's changed," he murmured quietly. There was a rustle behind him and his three companions appeared.

"So there's your hometown, Sasuke," the silver haired shinobi said, violet eyes inspecting the village. "It's pretty busy." He was right - they could just about make out the general hubbub of village life. The dark haired adolescent said nothing.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?" the only kunoichi in the team asked, putting one hand on Sasuke's chest where his shirt was open, and the other embracing him. He shrugged her off coldly.

"Quit flirting with Sasuke you cow, Karin," the silver haired ninja told the red head.

"I'm not a cow, Suigetsu you...you..." she spluttered, unable to think of a bad enough insult.

"Shut up you two," the final member of the team said quietly, his fiery eyes glinting in the sunlight. Karin and Suigetsu quickly stopped bickering. With much trepidation, Sasuke started to walk towards the gate. He hadn't eaten for days - starving himself, pushing himself further. His vision blurred slightly, but he carried on walking. It wasn't long, however, before everything went black and he fainted.

Most recent fic, from July 2020: Grounded (Thunderbirds). The ending:

"Scott?" Virgil sounded worried, and he opened his eyes – when he had closed them? – to look up at his worried brother. Alan and Gordon hovered nearby, and he looked at them all in turn, even John's silent hologram – his ginger brother hadn't been there when the test had started, hadn't been expected after he pointed out their holotech's range didn't reach that far. "Are you okay?"

Was he okay? He had a broken rib, was recovering from a near-fatal spider bite and its side effects of dehydration, bradycardia and hypotension, and the man who had almost killed his brothers multiple times was standing the other end of the same balcony.

But they were one step, one significant step closer to Dad.

"Yeah," he said, staring out past them, at the platform cradling the most important engine International Rescue had ever created. For the first time since that horrid trash mine day five weeks earlier, he could honestly say, "I'm okay."

I’ll leave you guys to be the judge on whether or not I’ve improved at all. I’d like to think I have.

#ask #hedwigstalons #not fic #unwanted #grounded

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j4nn4s · 5 years

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rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?

hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)

2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?

tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO

3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?

ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons

4. Your least favourite part of every season?

season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild

season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??

season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin

season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me

5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?

tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)

6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?

OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste

7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?

OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??

8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?

IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season

but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok

personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)

also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too

PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj

9. What did you learn from the show?

omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)

10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?

omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom

11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?

tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it

Questions:

1. Favorite quote of the show?

2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?

3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?

4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?

5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?

6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?

7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?

8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?

9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?

10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)

11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?

I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)

#long post #skam opinions #tag meme

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petri808 · 5 years

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Fandom: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha

@inusecretsanta @coolstormy4 Fluffy Inukag Holiday AU. Merry Christmas! Hope you like it :)

All Because of a Piney Bough

With Kagome in her first year at Yokohama N.U., as far as mama Higurashi was concerned, the winter break was one time of year she was required to be home for visits aside from summer. Mrs. Higurashi sometimes missed the days when her daughter and friends would hang out on weekends keeping the shrine home so nice and lively. But now, they had scattered like the four winds… well sort of, for Miroku had followed his girlfriend Sango to Tsukuba University, and Inuyasha followed his best friend to Yokohama.

Inuyasha… once or maybe still was Miroku’s best friend, yet now her daughters… Actually, mama Higurashi had given up on trying to understand the dynamics between those two. She was pretty sure they were both in love with each other since meeting 5 years ago and while they were almost attached at the hip, dated other people through high school. It made, no sense. Either way, she adored the Hanyo because as long as he was around, she never had to worry about her daughter’s safety.

Mrs. Higurashi figured that the kids would have plans on the holidays themselves, so two days before Christmas found the shrine home buzzing with life again. Kagome had come home from college the prior week with Inuyasha in tow. Sango and Miroku were back from Tsukuba, and Kohaku, Sango’s younger brother had also been able to make it to the party. It was like old times, Mrs. Higurashi sighed as she finished the last touches on her Christmas Wagashi’s.

“Here’s the K.F.C.,” Inuyasha places the two large buckets of fried chicken on the counter, “you sure this is enough for all of us?”

She wipes her hands on a towel and checks the boxes. “Thank you dear, but I have other things already made as well,” she smiles at the young man.

“Mmm, I can’t wait!” he rubs his stomach, “you always make the best foods!”

Mrs. Higurashi just chuckles and shoos him out of the kitchen before he tries to sneak anything. “Could you let everyone know dinner will be ready in 30 minutes?”

“Sure…”

Two hours later now fed and satiated, most of the group relaxes in the living room, centered around watching the two teenagers play some kind of video game on the screen. The adults chat while sipping tea or coffee, with Sango and Miroku talking about their first semester in a new city. Kagome had just finished washing the dishes for her mom and now stands in the entryway between the two rooms. It was really nice to see everyone gathered together like this, she smiled to herself. The internet makes staying in touch so much easier, but it still doesn’t make up for the personal contact.

After taking out the trash, Inuyasha joins her. Keeping his voice low, “so who’s winning?”

“I think Kohaku… but I could be wrong.”

Knowing the woman didn’t know much about fighter type games, he chuckles. “You have fun shopping earlier today with Sango?”

“Mmhmm,” feeling a bit tired she leans on his shoulder and yawns, “it was fun, we even stopped at our old ice cream shop haunt…”

Across the room, Sota and Kohaku high-five after another good round against some online competitors on the Playstation, laughing along with Miroku who’s asking to jump in next round. The two boys turn to respond to the older man but stop suddenly and begin whispering furiously between each other.

“What, don’t wanna let me play too cause you think I’ll whip your butts?”

“Nah, that ain’t it,” Kohaku leans closer, so he can whisper, “look behind you.”

“Huh?” Miroku turns his head and immediately grins and nods, leaning over to Sango to pass on the message.

The next thing they knew, the room had gone silent and 6 heads had turned to stare at Kagome and Inuyasha, grins on every single one of their faces. “What?” the Hanyo growls, “why is everyone looking at us?”

Kagome who is just as intrigued chimes in too. “W-why is everyone smiling like that?”

It’s her mom who finally speaks up while the 3 younger males snickers. “Mistletoe ball.”

“Mistletoe?” the young girl repeats what her mother had said. So, Mrs. Higurashi points above their heads. Both Kagome and Inuyasha look at the same time, their faces growing paler by the millisecond. “M-Mistle…”

“…toe…” Inu finishes.

“KISS! KISS! KISS!” chants begin to fill the room, starting from Sota and Kohaku but quickly joined by Miroku, Sango, even Mrs. Higurashi can’t hold back her amusement.

“W-Wha…. N-No but he-he’s…. we’re not…” poor Kagome’s face is turning crimson and Inuyasha’s is heating up as well. “Oh, my Kami!” she hides her face while the chants of ‘KISS’ rage on. It was so not funny to be called out like that!

“Just Kiss her Inuyasha!” Miroku goads the Hanyo, “you know you’ve been dying to!”

“N-No I don’t!” shaking a fist, “this was trap wasn’t it! Who did it!”

“No one, it was just part of the decorations,” Sango giggled. “Aww, Kagome, kissing Inuyasha wouldn’t be so bad would it?”

But the young girl refuses to respond only shaking her head as her anxiety reaches a peak. “Stop pestering her, can’t you see…” Inuyasha’s growls die off for Kagome had taken off out the kitchen door. They hear it slam behind her. “See!” he curses the whole room.

“Oh, dear, maybe be we pushed her too far,” Mrs. Higurashi covers her mouth as she rises from the couch, “I better go…”

“I’ll go check on her,” Inuyasha mumbles, swiping the mistletoe down before stalking out of the house.

As soon as Inuyasha has left, Sango slaps her boyfriend, “it was you, wasn’t it?”

“Oww!” he rubs his shoulder, “yes! But it was meant to catch you at some point!”

Kagome flees to the Well House and sits along the worn-out wooden edging with her head hung. It wasn’t that she was sad or even angry, but this definitely wasn’t how she’d envisioned her visit turning out. She didn’t know what embarrassed her more, the idea of simply kissing her best friend because of some western-fangled tradition…. Or the thought of kissing the man she’d been pining over for years in front of family and friends who suspected those feelings. Her mother was always asking in subtle ways, how were things with Inuyasha, oh, still just friends, okay that’s wonderful dear, he’s a great guy to have around….

Ugh! She felt crappy enough without having to be reminded so often that no, they were still just friends. I mean didn’t they hear him say he didn’t want to kiss me! Moisture clouds over her eyes and she squeeze’s them shut. I wish they’d just drop it already! Tomorrow is a day for couples and this year I get to celebrate it alone… Kagome let’s out a shaky exhale as memories of previous Eve’s with her ex, walking around to look at the light shows, how she’d often dreamt it had been Inuyasha instead holding her hand….

She hears a noise and the door opening, turning her head to hide further, Kagome assumed her mother had come to console her and covers her face.

“Kagome?”

But when she hears a softened male voice instead of that of her mother, she flinches; what was he doing here!

“Kagome, a-are you gonna be okay?” Inuyasha hops up onto the wells edging beside her in a crouched position and places a hand on her shoulder. Kagome flinches out of his touch and stands up, placing a foot or so of space between them with her back to him. “Oi, what are ya mad at me for! I wasn’t the one who was doin the taunting!”

“I’m not mad at you, just wanna be alone right now.”

Inuyasha could hear the held back tears in her voice, smell the salt in the air. He cringes, ears flattening at the pain it shot through his heart but in his head, it wasn’t fair that she was pushing him away over something he had no control over. “Sure feels like you’re mad at me for somethin…”

“I’m really not mad okay, maybe confused sometimes, sad but not mad,” Kagome tilts her head up willing back the tears that furiously wish to break free, “you just…. I don’t know…” she lets out a long exhale, “…I just don’t know how to think of you anymore.”

Now Inuyasha was completely confused, what did she mean by how she thinks of him? “What, you don’t wanna be my friend anymore is that it? If you don’t like me anymore all ya had to do was say something.”

“I like you too much is the problem…” her voice is so soft Inuyasha barely catches all the words, but then frankly he thought he might have heard her wrong anyways. Kagome tilts her head in his direction this time, a weak smile gracing her features, “and just being your friend is getting to be too difficult to bear.”

Oh, bloody hell, so that’s what she was all upset over! This chick has never given him one damn clue that she might have feelings for him, even dated his friggen rival for 2 years which is why he went out with hers hoping to stir up jealousy with no results, and now she wants to just break things off before there was anything between them? Like hell he was gonna let that happen!

“Kagome,” his eyes flash and narrow as he motions with a claw, “get over here.” The gruff nature of his voice startles her at first, but she could tell it wasn’t in anger, more like she was about to get scolded. She shakes her head. Inuyasha jumps down from his perch quicker than she can turn to run and grabs her around the waist from behind. “Stupid wench,” his lips are so close to her ear, she can feel the vibrations of his words and the heated air wafting against her skin. “I have waited almost 4 damn years for you figure out what you wanted. I stood back while you dated that wolf. I followed you to Yokohama, do you really think I’ll let you walk away from me now?”

Kagome clenches her fists at her sides. Was he for real? They’d been like two idiots waiting for the other to make the first move! “This whole time,” she breathes out, “are you seriously telling me you never asked me out because I never made up my mind?” She turns around to face him and immediately begins to bang her fists on his chest. “Are you serious! Inuyasha, I’ve been the one waiting for you to make a goddam move on me, but you’ve never ever EVER acted like you had feelings for me beyond friendship! Just now you shouted to everyone how you didn’t want to kiss me…. So how the hell was I supposed to figure it out!”

Wow! His eyes widen at the fury Kagome was trying to unleash on him. He’s seen her mad before, but frankly this was amusing and endearing at the same time and it was taking all of his willpower not to laugh aloud and set her off even more. He loved her pure heart, but he was even more in love with her feisty side.

Inuyasha finally grabs her wrists to still them. With a slight bemusement in his tone, “I didn’t want to kiss you in there because I didn’t want to take something if you weren’t ready to give it back.” Kagome stops fighting and just stares into his honeyed hues confused. Well that shut her up quick! He drops her hands and scoops her cheeks into his hands, “Of course I want to kiss you…. I wanna kiss you all day, every day!”

Her eyes grow misty, “Inu…. I’m sorry I…”

“Enough talking,” he cuts her off and crashes their lips together…. A rumble of contented abandon flows from his chest, oh Kamisama how he’s wanted to do this for so long! To nibble at her luscious ruby lips, to taste her as their tongues explore the heated antechamber…. Kagome was the sweetest hanami dango and smelled as good the blossoms they celebrated. He leans his forehead to hers after one more chaste kiss, “so… can I call you my girlfriend now?”

“I…Mph!”

“Shh,” Inuyasha cups a hand over her mouth, his ear flicking in the direction of the house. Without warning he scoops her into his arms and drops down into the bottom of the well, “don’t say anything yet.” As his ears scan above, Kagome just looks up wondering what had spooked him.

The pair hears the door open. “Kagome? Inuyasha? Are you guys in there?” A pause in Mrs. Higurashi’s voice, then the door closes again. “Doesn’t seem like they’re in the well house or anywhere on the property. I hope Kagome’s okay.”

“I’m sure she is,” now they hear Miroku’s voice trying to reassure the woman, “you know Inuyasha, if she left, he could track her down.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. I guess they’ll come back when they’re ready.”

Kagome and Inuyasha hear a shuffling of feet back towards the main house. She turns to Inuyasha confused, “why didn’t we just tell them we were okay?”

“Because I wasn’t ready to go back to the house yet,” his voice is heady and low, “so what’s your answer wench?”

“Answer? Oh!” she giggles, “how about… I’ll think about it.”

“Oi! Think about it!” Inuyasha runs his claws along her ticklish sides, and with a growl to his tone, “I’ll give you two seconds to say yes,” then traces them along the waist band of her skirt, “1….”

“Okay, Okay!” she spits out, shuddering as his hands have curved behind and nails trail along her spine. “Of course, I’ll be your girlfriend!”

“Let’s start over then,” he pulls the slightly crunched up mistletoe from his pocket and holds it above her head.

Kagome giggles as she stands on her tippy-toes to kiss him, “Merry Christmas to us…”

KFC & Wagashi info https://favy-jp.com/topics/1421

Hanami Dango info https://www.justonecookbook.com/hanami-dango/

Christmas in Japan simple info

https://www.whychristmas.com/cultures/japan.shtml

#inuyashasecretsanta2018 #inuyasha #inukag #InuKag fan fic #fan fic #sfw

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irkallanprince · 6 years

Text

Jason the Hunter

Fandom: Power Rangers (2017 movie) Rating: T/PG-13 Warnings: Awkward flirting. Implied violence. Vampires. Also dead bodies but... eh. Relationships: Jason Scott/Billy Cranston

Jason is a monster hunter investigating the strange deaths of criminals. When he finds the person responsible he doesn't quite have the heart to punish them.

Basically I’m trash and that crappy practice doodle about a vampire hunter au I did a few weeks ago inspired this. Maybe it’s a new series? Not sure yet. Also sorry for clogging up the PR and Cranscott tags but like... Cranscott needs more love.

(read on ao3)

Three bodies. All drained of blood. Strewn about Angel Grove Park like abandoned child’s toys. Not dead very long from the feel of it. Jason crouched at the foot of the body nearest to him and stared at the neck wound when he noticed markings peeking up over the collar of the man’s shirt. He reached down and lowered it a bit to see a swastika staring back up at him.

“Nazis… I take back every time I said poor bastard.” He said with an audible cringe in his voice. He looked up at his partner from the corner of his eye who was taking pictures with her Institute-issued phone to log for the attack database. They’d go straight back to Alpha in the command center so they could study them later.

“Yeah. These ones are no big loss but sooner or later an actual innocent person is gonna wind up on the wrong side of the fangs. Just remember we’re trying to do something good here.” She said, slipping the phone back into her pocket and slinging her crossbow over her shoulder.

Jason stood, shoving his hands in his pocket. He’d been hunting for most of his life now. He grew up in a family of hunters, but they were killed by a wild pack of Wendigo a few years back. That was when the Institute took him in. Trained him at the Academy. He was no longer a vigilante monster hunter, rather an official licensed one. They’d paired him with Kimberly Hart, who was a master of archery and stealth and kicked his ass far too many times to count. She was a better technical fighter than him, all skill and perfection in one lithe frame. Jason? Well he was just a brawler. The kind of guy who learned what he could by watching his daddy get into bar fights when he was a wee thing. It got the job done.

Still, it never got any easier staring at corpses. Even the gross nazi kind.

“Been tracking these murders for weeks now and I gotta say, Kimmie… I kind of feel like we should let it alone. Like… all the bodies we’ve picked up have been legit bad dudes? These white supremacist guys? That sex offender about a week ago? A couple of dirty cops? It feels almost like these guys are… kinda alright?” Jason said as he surveyed the scene. It was the work of vampires, that much was clear. But it seemed the vampires in question were targeting genuinely awful people. No real loss, and if anything these human ’victims’ were doing more harm to people than they were. Still, Kim was always the more stalwart of the two.

“Two wrongs don’t make a right. Besides, we let this slide, there’s a lot of other things we might have to consider overlooking. Job’s easier when we don’t have to think about it.” She said, picking up her equipment.

“I’m heading back to Command. You coming?” She asked, blowing a dark curl from her face. Jason gave a shrug and looked around the area.

“I think I want to do one more sweep before I go. Just see if we missed anything.”

Kimberly raised an eyebrow and offered a shrug.

“Keep your comms on. Don’t do anything stupid. So like… just most of the things you would do.” It came off biting, but the hint of a smile on her face showed she was just ribbing him. He gave a sarcastic smile and dismissed her on her way before heading into the treeline of the park himself.

He used his sword to hack at the shrubbery in his path, making his way through the wooded area as he looked around for tracks or blood splatter or anything that could lead them to their guys. So far nothing was coming up but trash, discarded condom wrappers, and crushed empty beer cans from the rowdy teens that used these woods to party on the regular.

“Uneventful as fuck.” He clicked his tongue to himself as he kicked one of the empty cans into the bush nearest to him. To his surprise the bush shook and an exasperated ’OUCH!’ rang out from it. He watched as a dark figure fell back in the clumsiest manner, rolling back into the dead leaves before looking up with wide, glowing yellow eyes and a nervous laugh. Jason pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side.

“A vampire hiding in the woods not far from the scene of a murder. Committed by vampires. Must be my lucky day.” He said with a quirk on his lip, dragging his sword in the dirt as he slowly approached him.

“I gotta tell ya, I’ve been hunting creatures for about five years now. Dusted a bunch of guys like you before. This’ll probably be short. Got any last words?” He asked, raising his sword to the dark skinned vamp’s chin. The vampire gulped and kept his hands up in the air.

“Please I got separated from my group I… I don’t mean you any harm.”

“But you killed those guys, right?” He asked bluntly, tipping the vampire’s chin with his blade. He shivered a bit and winced, but he was having a hard time coming up with a response.

“...we have to feed. We only go after people that are bad.” The vampire responded, still hoping that if he were compliant, he would live through this. Jason gulped a moment as he gazed into his eyes, and he found them to be honest and true. Yeah, Kim was right. It wasn’t right, but at the same time it was justice.

“We? How many of you are there?”

“I uh… it’s me and my brother and sister. N-not real brother and sister just… we were all made by the same person. She… isn’t really around anymore.” The vampire explained. Three young, scared, homeless vampires? Made sense.

“You know I’ve been tasked with hunting you down and killing you right?” He said, studying the boy as he cowered in fear. But honestly, in Jason’s heart he couldn’t bring himself to finish it. These vampires had morals. He… liked that. Respected it even. So he instead removed his blade from the boy’s throat and sheathed it on his back.

“I’m Jason. What’s your name?” He said, looking him over once more. Now that he was free of danger, the vampire boy adjusted his knit cap and cleared his throat.

“Billy. B-Billy Cranston. I’m… new here. Everywhere really. I… we were taken by this woman a few months ago. Said she wanted children of her own. My sister calls her La Llorona but really she goes by Empress Rita. She… turned us. Then abandoned us here. I… don’t know why I’m telling you all this. Maybe just so you don’t kill me?”

Jason’s stony expression changed to a gentle smile and he removed his hand from his pocket and extended it. Billy studied it for a moment before taking it and shaking his hand.

“I’m a hunter. Work for an organization called the Institute of Guidance. We’re like… a secret police for monsters if you will. And you have been raising quite a stink in Angel Grove. You’re sloppy. But you swear you only go after criminals?” He asked, crossing his arms as he went on.

“You ever thought about like… I dunno… robbing a blood bank or something?”

Billy shoved his hands into his blue hoodie pockets and kicked at the dirt on the ground.

“It’s not the same. It’s… It’s like eating stale bread. It can make us sick if we drink blood like that too long. I don’t know if you know what it feels like to have a vampire tummy ache but it’s… not great.” He said, chewing his bottom lip nervously.

“I mean… okay what about like… Consensual feeding? I know vampire groupies are a thing. We call ‘em blood dolls back at the Academy.”

Billy just chuckled and shook his head. “It’s hard enough to find someone that don’t run screaming when they see our glowing yellow eyes, man. Plus I’m still relatively new at all this. I don’t know all this undead slang.”

Jason shrugged a bit.

“I don’t. I mean… I guess ya want a meal you could always call me. So long as you don’t like… kill me of course.”

The idea of feeding on Jason entered his mind and honestly? It brought heat to his cheeks. Heat he wasn’t sure he was capable of being a cold dead thing, but heat nonetheless. He shuddered a bit, licking his lips as he honed his eyes on Jason’s neck, how beautiful and pink it was. It almost…

“...U-uh but then what would my siblings eat?” He asked, hands discreetly pulling his hoodie down lower to cover the tenting in his pants. Jason just gave a shrug and ran a hand through his golden locks.

“Look, tell you what. Give me a few days and don’t murder anyone else and I will see what I can do about getting you a fresh blood supply, okay? Here.” He said, pulling out his wallet and tugging out a business card with his number on it. They might be a secret society of demon hunters, but they were also professionals. Of COURSE they had business cards.

“Call me when you need something. Preferably before someone dies. I know this is new for you but you don’t have to be alone in it, okay?” He said. Their fingers brushed momentarily as the card was handed off, and Billy once more felt the heat well in his cheeks.

“I-I...y-y-yeah okay.” Billy nodded. Jason gave him a brilliant smile and shoved his hands back in his pockets once more.

“I’m glad I ran into you, Billy. Now that we know what the problem is, we can try to fix it.” He said reassuringly. Then he gave him a little salute.

“I gotta go. Stay good, Blue.” He said, nodding to the color of his hoodie before turning and disappearing for the park again. Billy smiled a bit, then gazed down at the card.

“Jason Lee Scott…” He said under his breath. He then pressed the card to his non-beating heart and watched the boy walk into the night with his incredible night vision. It was ridiculous because when he died he never thought he would feel this way again, but this vampire was getting a crush. And on the one person he definitely probably shouldn’t. Someone who killed his kind for a living.

Dammit, Billy.

#power rangers #cranscott #billy cranston #jason scott #fanfic

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