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vanaera · 4 years

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The Heart Holiday | Act 3 | myg

Synopsis: Valentine’s Day is declared as an official holiday. However, private companies’ standards dictate it’s only for the people who are currently in a relationship. Unluckily for Y/N, she doesn’t have this year’s PRS’ (Proof of Relationship Status) “in a relationship” box ticked – the only ticket out she can have to enjoy one paid week of holiday leave away from her hellish job. And more unfortunately for Y/N, everyone around her is oh so conveniently currently committed in a relationship. Except for one person: Min Yoongi, Y/N’s biggest critic in every pitch meeting, the picky guy who always picks on her, and the most annoying jerk of the century. Desperate for that holiday leave, Y/N strikes Yoongi up with an offer: Fake date each other two weeks before February 14, just enough time for the Department of Relationship Management (DRM) to consider processing their PRSs. After Valentine’s Day, they will go back to their own ways and never speak about whatever that may happen during the plan. Good, plain, and simple. That is until, Yoongi uncharacteristically oh so enthusiastically agrees to Y/N’s offer, leaving her thinking that she may have bitten something too much more than she can chew.

Characters: Yoongi x Female Reader

AU/ Trope: Office AU (Creatives Manager!myg x PA!reader), enemies to lovers, fake dating

Genre: 40% fluff, 20% comedy, 40% ANGST (oh here she comes)

Wordcount: 32.1k

Warnings: Discussion of toxic relationships and infidelity (PG-15 Rating)

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DAY 8 – February 2; Sunday

Y/N feels like she’s back to square one and at the same time, she’s not. She didn’t know this at first because she started the day with a smile all because of one text.

Mean Yoongi >:(: Good morning, pretty girl ;) (7:40 A.M.)

No, two texts actually.

Mean Yoongi >:(: I mean little girl ;D AHAHHAHA (7:41 A.M.)

Everything felt normal when Y/N spent her lunch laughing hysterically as Yoongi pestered her to accept his video call so she can see his “master” cooking skills.

“I don’t believe you,” Y/N chuckles over her spoon, “You? A master chef?”

“Oh, just watch me, sweetheart,” Yoongi raises his pan in the air. “I can flip this without even using a spatula.” He flicks his wrist. The omelet jumps from the pan. Only for it to land haphazardly on the curved edge of the pan. Yoongi lurches forward, saving the food.

Y/N cackles, “You call that a master?”

Yoongi sends her a glare, “At least I can cook. What about you? You would be dead if it weren’t for Mina.”

“Hey, I can cook!”

Yoongi leans his hip against the counter and smirks, “And what can you cook?”

Y/N looks away and mutters, “Hotdogs and canned goods and noodles.”

“What noodles?”

“…Instant ones.”

Yoongi snorts, “That’s not food.”

“If you can eat it, it’s food!”

And just like yesterday, it felt too familiar for Y/N to spend the whole day talking with Yoongi on the phone.

“What episode are you now?”

“177, I think? I never checked. I just kept clicking next.”

“How typical,” Y/N chuckles.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re so impatient. Of course, you’re gonna start binging ahead of me.”

“Are you upset?”0

Y/N looks down at her lap guiltily, “No?”

“Yes, you are,” Yoongi giggles. “Why, do you want me to always watch with you? Can’t get enough of me?”

“W-what? No!”

“It seems it’s like it though.”

“Yoongi!—”

“Oh look, Kakashi is here. Hush, for a while, sweetheart.”

All is fine until it hit five in the afternoon and a message dropped on her phone.

Mean Yoongi >:(: Gonna come over at your house in five. Please don’t throw your TV at me. (5:05 P.M.)

Y/N squints at her phone again. It only sinks in a second later that Min Yoongi is indeed on his way now to her home. Y/N drags a hand over her face. Why the hell will Yoongi go to her home? Y/N frantically looks around. Plates are still unwashed in the sink. A blanket is messily strewn on the sofa. A throw pillow is thrown on the floor. And, Mina has just left for her date with Mark ten seconds ago. Y/N looks down at herself. She’s just wearing an oversized, faded green shirt—a freebie from the wet market she frequents—and pink floral printed pajamas. She looks like a mess herself. Y/N immediately springs up and runs to her room.

Right at the exact moment, loud knocks resound from her door.

Y/N halts in her step. Should she check on it or change her clothes first? Y/N bites her lips. Yoongi said he’s gonna come in five. Maybe it’s a lost deliveryman. Or the woman across her unit asking for her help again on her smartphone. Another knock comes and Y/N makes a detour and heads toward the door, muttering expletives under her breath. She tips on her toes to take a peek at the peephole.

It’s Yoongi. And he’s looking straight at the peephole too.

Y/N instantly ducks her head. Oh my god, why is he staring at the peephole?! She pulls at her hair—oh my god why are they so tangled?!

She’s not given more time to dwell on this because Yoongi knocks four more times in quick and loud successions Y/N’s sure will start to disturb her neighbors.

Damn it. Y/N twists the knob and swings the door open. “Yoongi, what are you doing here?!”

Her breath hitches in her throat. Yoongi is standing right in front of her, clad in black basketball shorts, a white shirt, and a big camo bomber jacket. His white socked feet are peeking through his black slippers. It’s an unflattering outfit to wear outside but it inexplicably turned attractive in 0.5 seconds. Y/N gulps. Why the hell does Yoongi look so good when he’s just dumbly standing in front of her holding a huge paper bag? Most of all, when did Yoongi look so good?!

“Are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?”

Y/N jolts, “W-what?”

Yoongi smirks, “You’re entranced by me, huh?”

“What the—No! Would you just get inside?!” Y/N turns around, cheeks aflame.

“Gee, thanks for the warm welcome,” Yoongi snickers. He closes the door behind him and follows Y/N inside.

“Why are you, um, just wearing shorts?” Y/N bounds towards the couch. She hurriedly picks up the pillow on the floor. “Aren’t you cold?”

“I borrowed Steven’s car for the weekend. Plus, I’m giving you the privilege to see my legs in their full glory.” Yoongi places the paper bag on the dining table and takes out three Tupperwares

“Privilege, my ass. This is a curse,” Y/N huffs. She turns around and steps toward the table to point at the Tupperwares. “What are those?”

“Food. Sweet and sour fish fillet, chicken pastel, stir-fried vegetables with beef. I cooked too much, I’m giving you some.” Yoongi looks up at her, “Where’s your ref?”

“There,” Y/N points to her left. “Uh, I’ll put them there myself—"

Yoongi beats her to it, already carrying the food containers with him. He crouches in front of the refrigerator and places them inside. After that, he pats his hands on his shorts and stands up.

Y/N coughs into her hand and looks away, “Thank you for this, Yoongi. You didn’t have to do all of these for me.”

“Well, I want to,” Yoongi shrugs. “I’m doing this for me, too. I cooked too much for me and my fam. I don’t know where to put them.”

“Still, thank you.” Y/N gives him an appreciative smile.

Yoongi looks away and rubs his nape. “Um, uh…how are you feeling today?

“Much better now,” Y/N smiles.

Yoongi nods, “Okay.”

“Okay.”

Silence.

Yoongi looks down at his feet. Y/N feels the temperature of her cheeks rise as her eyes linger on the man’s face. She tears her eyes from him and she looks down at her hands. No one speaks. Y/N bites the inside of her cheeks. Why did it suddenly go awkward? Earlier they were just cracking jokes at each other. Y/N pinches herself. C’mon, say something!—

“Uh, um…I brought movies. Do you wanna, uh, check it out?”

Y/N’s head shoots up.

Yoongi waves a USB at her. “I brought movies. Wanna watch? I’ll let you choose what you like.”

Y/N releases a breath she didn’t know she held. She nods, smiling.

In the next minutes, Y/N finds herself seated on her couch, remote in hand as she scrolls through the movies on her TV. From the corner of her eye, she could see Yoongi fiddling with his hands next to her. Or more accurately, away from her. The man has practically glued himself to the opposite arm of the couch.

The irony did not escape Y/N that it was just a week ago she wanted nothing to do with Yoongi. And now, she wants him to sit next to her. But Y/N doesn’t want to dwell on it and chucks all thoughts related to it as she turns towards Yoongi and pats the space beside her. All reasons be damned, Y/N is signing this under her need for human physical touch because she feels she’s sick and Mina’s busy lately with her boyfriend.

Yoongi looks at her quizzically. Y/N pats her side one more time, chuckling, “Why are you sitting so far away from me?”

Yoongi looks at her for a second then scooches his way towards her, closing the gap. He wriggles his eyebrows at her. “Why? You want me to be always by your side, sweetheart?”

“No,” Y/N turns back to the TV and scrolls again through the files. “It’s just weird to have someone sit at the opposite end when the best view of the TV is right here.”

Yoongi leans toward her and raises a brow, “You can just admit you like having me near you.”

Y/N doesn’t pay him mind and clicks at a movie.

“Hey, what did you choose?”

Y/N doesn’t answer and just smiles at him triumphantly.

Yoongi gets his answer when the eerie opening of Blumhouse Productions rolls in.

“Jesus Christ,” Yoongi huffs, “Out of all the movies I brought, you had to pick the horror one.”

Y/N pauses the movie and turns toward the man. “You said I can pick whatever I want.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, “but why did it have to be horror?”

“Why? Are you scared?” Y/N smirks.

Yoongi holds his chin up. “Of course, no. I’m just surprised at your choice. I thought you’re gonna pick some cheesy romcom.”

“And what in the hell made you think I’d pick that?”

Yoongi grins, “’Cause in our date, I figured you’re a romantic sap.”

“I’m not a sap,” Y/N turns back to the TV. She smirks under her breath as she presses play, “How’s this for a sap?”

It turns out Yoongi was just talking shit and Y/N was right. Just fifteen minutes into Sinister, Yoongi is tensing up whenever the camera pans slowly around the house or pauses too long at a particular door. It’s all fine and dandy if he just tenses up like any human does. But not like this—still as a frozen rock. When Yoongi presses himself an inch closer to Y/N, she could feel the cold sweat on his arms. An although Y/N hates to admit the sight of Yoongi in just a plain black shirt both excited and bothered her a teeny tiny bit (his bomber jacket is discarded on the couch’s arms since the movie started), Y/N knows now’s the time to finally say something.

Y/N gulps down her nervousness and picks up the remote to press pause.

Yoongi instantly jolts up. “Hey, what are you doing—”

“Are you okay?” Y/N cuts him, boring her eyes into him.

“Of course,” Yoongi squeaks. Y/N raises a brow. Yoongi clears his throat. “Of course,” he repeats, voice much more stable. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Y/N scoffs. “You don’t have to deny it, you know? Just say you’re scared and I’ll stop this.”

“I’m not scared!” Yoongi huffs. “And why would you stop this? We’re just getting to the juicy parts.”

Y/N sighs. She faces the man and deadpans, “Yeah. We’re just getting to the juicy parts and you’re already reacting as if you’ve seen the climax thirty times on repeat.”

“No, I don’t—”

“Hey. It’s alright to say you’re scared,” Y/N nudges Yoongi’s shoulder. “I can stop this and we can just check out another movie.”

“But…you like this kind of movies.”

Y/N’s eyes widen as she looks at the man.

Yoongi pulls his lips to the side.

Y/N presses her lips together and nods, “Yeah, I like horror movies. But I don’t like watching it if you’ll have to suffer through it.”

Yoongi looks at her, surprise evident in his eyes. Feeling her cheeks heat up, Y/N darts her eyes away from the man and turns back to the TV. She grabs the remote. “Let’s just pick another movie—”

“Wait.” An arm shoots out, clasping onto hers. Y/N turns back to the man. Yoongi retracts his arm, opting his other arm to awkwardly scratch it. “Look, we can just continue watching the movie.”

“But—”

“As long as you let me hold your hand during the scary parts,” Yoongi finishes, eyes determinedly staring right into Y/N’s.

“W-what?” Y/N stammers, cheeks hot.

Yoongi looks away, scratching his nape, “I feel safe when my friends hold my hand, okay. It’s not like you’re special or anything. Namjoon and Jimin and Taehyung hold my hand whenever I feel queasy. Even Seojoon and Dana got to hold my hand when I’m nervous about pitches in front of Nancy. There’s a reason why babies need physical touch from their parents when the early days they’re born and—”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let you hold my hand.”

Yoongi whips his head towards the girl, eyes blown wide, mouth ajar. He looks it’s his first time hearing someone say the word “sex.”

Y/N laughs nervously, “What? I said I’ll let you hold my hand.”

Yoongi’s stare remains unfazed.

Y/N sighs, “Here.” She thrusts her hand towards him. “Hold it.”

Yoongi lets his eyes linger on Y/N’s hands. In the next second, Y/N feels Yoongi’s hand clasp around hers in a firm hold. Warmth instantly spreads around her hand, a tingling sensation running down her back and down to her toes. Y/N looks down at her hand. Yoongi’s hand is much larger than hers, easily covering her hand like a snug shirtsleeve. Y/N nibbles on her lip. It feels so warm and nice—

“Hey, your hand is soft.”

Y/N jerks up and looks at the man.

Yoongi smirks, eyes glinting in mischief, “You must not be doing any chores, huh?”

Y/N flushes, “I do chores! What made you think I don’t?!”

“Because your hand is soft. It’s like holding a baby’s hand.”

“So? What’s that got to do with not doing chores?”

“If you do chores, your hand must be as rough as mine.”

Y/N raises a brow, “Well, you must not be informed that hand lotions do exist, Yoongi.”

“Of course, I know them,” Yoongi quips, indignantly. “I’m using them myself. They’re just not working on me.”

“Blame it on your genes, then.”

Yoongi crosses his arms. “At least I do chores.”

“Hey, I really do chores! Mina cooks, I do the dishes. My hands are soft because it just is!” Y/N tears her eyes away from the man and focuses them back to the TV. “What do you expect? I’m just blessed genetically.”

“You need a new mirror.”

“Yoongi, you know refunds exist, right? I can take back my hand whenever I want—”

“Please don’t,” the hold on the Y/ns hand tightens. “I agree, you’re genetically blessed. You’re sooo blessed.”

Y/N side glances at the man, “You mean it?”

“Yep,” Yoongi gives her a cheesy smile. Complete with an eye-smile.

Y/N chuckles and clicks the movie to play again.

“Your hand feels nice though.”

Y/N feels her cheeks grow on flame again. She clears her throat. “Whatever, Min.”

Y/N never knew horror movies are supposed to make you feel hot. Not hot from anger at the ridiculous decisions of stupid characters. But hot from…an inexplicable feeling of pseudo-claustrophobia. Y/N feels it when the sound effects will come too loud, almost titillating, and Yoongi’s hold on her hand grows tight. She feels it whenever the demon will come on-screen and Yoongi will jolt and hide behind her shoulder.

There were numerous times Y/N wanted to take back her offer so bad. Yoongi’s hold on her hand can grow too tight to the point Y/N could feel her veins are about to pop off. He even almost pushed her off the couch with how badly he wanted to hide behind her back. But at the same time, Y/N wanted this to last longer. She wants to feel Yoongi’s hand on hers for longer. She wants to have more of Yoongi seeking comfort by her side.

This inexplicable desire grew when they finished Sinister and Yoongi opted to watch Plus One to “flush out the fear with regurgitating fluff.” Now that Yoongi is cooing and chuckling by her side, he doesn’t have any reason to hold her hand anymore. And by some irritating curse, Y/N finds her hands itching to hold a hand. Y/N closes her eyes. It’s better this way, she thinks to herself. She can finally enjoy watching the movie without a shoulder constantly nudging hers. And she wouldn’t have to worry about Yoongi feeling her pulse and having a chance to make fun of her. Y/N grins. But it doesn’t reach her eyes as she hoped it will. This push and pull from opposing ends, it feels exhilarating. But also borderline sickening.

Especially when Yoongi had to break that tie in her head by opening his mouth.

“I have finally concluded my conclusion. You’re a sap.”

The TV screen has long turned black and it’s just her and Yoongi sitting side by side, filling the silence of the room with their breaths. Maybe with some sniffling too. Y/N feels her eyelids are brimming with wetness. Damn Plus One’s confession scene.

“I’m not a sap,” Y/N sneaks a hand to wipe the dampness from her eyes.

“Then why are you crying?”

Y/N freezes. She drops her arms and faces the man. “Look, the confession scene is tensioned and emotionally charged as hell and you’d have to be an unfeeling robot not to feel some heavy weight on your chest. Which I do not doubt that you are.”

“Then you just confirmed my argument,” Yoongi smiles. “You’re a romantic sap.”

Y/N throws her hands in the air, “How the hell is that being a sap?! I’m just reacting appropriately to a well-made film. That’s how I show my appreciation. If I’m a sap, I would buy all the cheesy shenanigans the characters did.”

Yoongi raises a brow, “You don’t buy their shenanigans?”

“How can I? It’s all scripted and done in a controlled environment,” Y/N cringes, “That’s not how real life works. Of course, these romcoms are nice and make you feel good. But that’s because they’re supposed to be that way. They’re movies! Movies paint love in such a ridiculously good light so they can have people want to look for their ideal romance. So, when the industry releases more movies that present the same cheese, people will mindlessly eat it up because it’s “ooh I dig this kind of love.”

“Are you bitter?” Yoongi chuckles.

“No,” Y/N turns her head away. “I’m just exposing what being a romantic sap is like. Getting invested in being a tool for a capitalistic industry that no longer cares about the quality of their content, but only the cash they’ll make.”

Yoongi nods, “You do have a point.”

“I always have a point.”

“Though I’d say last time, you have a different opinion.”

“What opinion?”

“When I told you something happened the morning after you got drunk and you automatically thought we had drunken sex because you’ve seen enough movies about that and,” Yoongi air quotes, “‘movie reflects real life.’”

Y/N looks away, “Well, that’s a different case. Accidents and mistakes are more realistic than lovey-dovey shenanigans.” Y/N shifts in her seat. “If I may say though, you’re more of the romantic sap.”

“How did you say so?”

“‘Flush out the fear with regurgitating fluff?’” Y/N quotes in the air this time.

Yoongi laughs, hitting her arm playfully, “Oh my god, don’t!”

“Didn’t know the great Min, Yoongi has ‘fluff’ in his vocabulary. Moreso as a solution for fear,” Y/N snickers.

Yoongi covers his face in embarrassment, “Oh my God, please erase that from your mind.”

“No. Never. You said two days ago we cannot erase what we know happened and that you’re gonna speak about anything if it’s advantageous for you.” Y/N grins, “Well now, Min, this is advantageous for me. So, UNO reverse card!”

Yoongi breaks into a fit of laughter and Y/N follows.

“Ima-haha, ima-HA,” Y/N sucks in a breath, “Imagine the look on your co-workers’ faces when they hear that the great, hard-to-please, strict manager Min says ‘regurgitating fluff’ can flush out fear.”

Yoongi wheezes, “No, please—!”

“They be like, ‘Sir, we have a very intimidating deadline.’ You be like, ‘Don’t worry, I have fluff movies!’” Y/N guffaws.

Yoongi slaps his thigh, letting out that grandpa-wheezing-in-front-of-the-electric-fan stupid ass laugh. It sounded weirder live than on Discord. Y/N guffaws yet again.

“Jesus Christ,” Yoongi slips in between the laughter, “you’ll never gonna let me off the hook, huh?”

“Never!” Y/N giggles.

Yoongi covers his face in defeat. His weird-ass laugh comes out again.

“Oh my god, stop it!”

“W-wha-hat? Hah—I’m not even doing anything!”

“Your laugh is making me laugh! Stop laughing!”

Yoongi just continues laughing. And the cackling fit continues on.

But alas, all things eventually come to an end. So when the giggles eventually die down and Y/N and Yoongi are done clutching their stomachs in pain and jabbing each other “I can’t take it anymore,” and “Stop making me laugh again!” they’re sprawled on the sofa, nothing but echoes of a giggle filling the air.

“Hey.”

Y/N turns her head to Yoongi, a smile on her face. “What?”

Yoongi wipes a fake tear under his eyes. “I don’t know why the hell I even laughed. Your joke is not even funny.”

“What do you mean ‘Not funny?’ My jokes are priceless!

“Your jokes are nonsense.”

“You are nonsense.”

Yoongi chuckles, “How do you always manage to turn things around against me?”

“Well, that’s because you don’t exercise your right.”

“What right?”

“Your right to remain silent.”

“What?”

“‘Any words you say may be used against you,’” Y/N finger guns.

“Oh my god,” Yoongi drags a hand over his face.

Y/N giggles, “So? Aren’t I funny?”

“I’m gonna stop. And so should you,” Yoongi points at her, grinning, “My tummy already hurts so bad.”

Yoongi tries to keep a straight face on. But with the way his brows are contorting and his lips are twitching, he looks like he’s battling major constipation. Which is a dilemma not to laugh to. Y/N has never pressed her lips together so hard just to prevent a giggle from coming out.

The unit falls into silence again. But unlike last time, the air of awkwardness has long been lifted. Y/N smiles. It’s been a while she’s ever been comfortable in silence with someone other than Mina. Her chest feels so light and her jaw is even slightly hurting from how long she’s laughed. Say, it’s also been a while since she laughed so much without Mina being the reason for it. Y/N’s lips twitch. She pulls herself from her slouched position and sits up straight.

“Yoongi.”

The man looks at her. Seeing her properly seated again, he scrambles to sit up straight as well. “Okay, I’m up. What do you wanna say?”

“Thank you.”

Yoongi furrows his brows, “What?”

Y/N looks down at her hands, “I mean, you already gave me food and you even let me watch good movies. I figured I’ve only thanked you for the food and have never thanked you yet for this night. So…thank you.”

“Oh, um, no problem,” Yoongi rubs his nape. “Are you…feeling better now?”

Y/N scrunches her forehead.

Yoongi waves his hand around, “You know—from-from what happened last Friday?”

Oh. A soft smile grows on Y/N’s face. So this is what it’s about.

Y/N nods, grinning. “Of course. It’s no biggie. I’m a big girl already. During this weekend, I thought things over. And I realized it’s reasonable for Nancy to feel and act that way. I can’t blame what happened on my luck or whatever circumstance. I fucked up in my job. I have to take responsibility for it and face the consequences.”

“Yeah…but—”

“No buts.” Y/N holds his arm and smiles, “I’m an adult now, I must learn how to take criticisms. Life has never been easy or kind and nor will it be. But thank you for comforting me. It really helped. A lot.” Y/N looks at him, “Thank you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi looks at her, brows furrowed. He then rips his gaze away from her and focuses his eyes on his lap, hand on his nape again. “Well, that’s what friends do. I’m just doing what I have to.”

“You’re really living out that title huh?” Y/N snickers.

“Hey, what are you hinting?” Yoongi whips his head to her, “I thought you already agreed to be friends with me!”

Y/N nods, giggling. “Yeah, I did! I’m still fascinated with the label.”

“Well, get used to it.”

Y/N smiles.

Yoongi looks at his watch. “Oh shoot, it’s already nine.” Yoongi stands up, “I have to go back home. I have to cook Jeongguk’s lunch for tomorrow.”

Y/N stands up, helping the man put on his jacket. “You cook your brother’s lunch? He still packs in college?”

“Well, I insisted even if he says he doesn’t like it,” Yoongi smiles, shaking his head. “Their university’s cafeteria has overpriced food and I bet mine tastes a whole lot better. Anyway, he has no choice. I’m older than him,” Yoongi jokes as he walks to the hallway. Y/N follows behind and opens the locks on the door.

Yoongi’s hand reaches for the doorknob. But he decides against it as he turns to his side to look at Y/N. “Thank you for, um, tonight. I had fun.”

“Yeah, me too,” Y/N says, lips curling up.

“So, um, date you tomorrow?” Yoongi asks, eyes twinkling, a goofy smile on his face.

Y/N chuckles, “Okay, okay. Date you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Yoongi chuckles.

“Okay.”

This is going nowhere. Y/N shakes her head chuckling as she reaches forward and twists the doorknob open. “Okay, have a safe trip. Goodbye—"

“Yoongi?!”

Y/N freezes.

Mina is standing in front of the door, large paper bags in hand, and looking very shocked. Her eyes focus on the man whose hand is awkwardly stuck in a mid-wave. Then it darts to her disheveled bestfriend with messy bed hair and crumpled shirt. Mina’s jaw hangs open, pointed index finger switching between Yoongi and Y/N. “W-what are you doing here?”

Y/N holds up her hands, “Mina, I can explain—”

But Yoongi interrupts her, “I just brought some food for you guys. Y/N and I watched movies.”

“Movies?!” Mina sputters.

“But it’s okay,” Yoongi grins, “we’re done now. I was just going home.”

“‘D-done?’” Mina repeats, eyes wide.

“Yeah.” Yoongi grins, “I’ll take my leave now.” He turns to Y/N one last time, “Goodbye, sweetheart.” Yoongi then steps outside and dashes to the hallway where the elevators are starting to close.

Mina whirls around, “Hey, Yoongi, what do you mean ‘done’?!”

“Goodbye, Mina!” Yoongi hollers before the lift dings to a close. The man is gone and the hallway is silent again.

Mina darts her eyes to Y/N. She shakes her head and steps inside the unit. Y/N hurriedly closes their door and follows her bestfriend.

Mina drops her bags on the counter. “What was that?”

Y/N sighs and starts to wring her hands. “I’m sorry, Mina. Yoongi just came without notice and it left my mind to inform you I had guests over. I’m sorry for breaking—”

“Oh my god, it’s fine, Y/N,” Mina chuckles, stepping forward to disentangle her friend’s nervous hands. “I know you. You’re not the type to do the deed inside our unit. How could you even? You’ve had zero love life for a long while.”

Y/N scowls and playfully hits her friend’s shoulder.

“Hey! I’m just speaking the truth!” Mina giggles, holding her friend’s hands again.

“But why did you have to say it in that way when Yoongi was still here?”

“I just felt like making things bigger than it is,” Mina shrugs, grinning. “Just to satisfy my curiosity.”

“Curiosity? Of what?”

“Of what’s going on with you and Yoongi.”

Y/N presses her lips together.

“You told me yesterday you two are just compromising. I didn’t know you're this…good in compromising,” Mina wriggles a brow. “You’ve never been good in compromising when it comes to Yoongi. So, tell me. What’s up?”

Y/N closes her eyes and walks past her bestfriend. “We’re just friends.”

The word feels oddly alienating and comforting at the same time.

DAY 9 – February 3; Monday

Y/N finds herself at high spirits in the first half of the day. Maybe it had to do with her and Mina finding no trouble in commuting to work despite the usual Monday rush hour. Y/N likes to think maybe it’s also because of the new suit set she’s wearing. Mina bought it when she went shopping with Mark downtown. The cadet blue suit felt so good on her skin and when she twirls in front of her mirror, she felt so pretty. She likes to think that, especially when she felt people’s eyes linger on her more than usual. When Y/N got inside the office, Dana, Seojoon, and Jeff complimented her look. Even the usually stoic Ms. Yoona told her she’s blooming today. But maybe the other reason Y/N is feeling high on the clouds had to do with a certain manager.

A certain manager that goes with the name Min Yoongi who kept on sending her wide smiles and occasional winks across the Creative’s floor for no apparent reason.

“What are you doing?” Y/N mouths, brows furrowed.

Yoongi makes finger hearts.

Y/N bites her cheek. In the corner of her eye, she could see Jeff walking in their direction. Yoongi apparently sees him, too, because he immediately pulls his finger-heart’s down his desk and pretends to flip through his papers. When the editor has walked past them, Y/N raises from her hunched position and finds Yoongi doing the same. Just right then, her phone vibrates.

Mean Yoongi >:(: That was close (8:24 A.M.)

Y/N looks up at him unamused. Her phone vibrates again.

Mean Yoongi >:(: Let’s just text (8:25 A.M.)

Y/N frowns at the man across her. Yoongi aggressively points to his phone. Y/N sighs.

Y/N: Why? (8:25 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: Someone may catch us (8:25 A.M.)

Y/N: I thought we’re supposed to let everyone catch us. We need to let them know we’re dating. (8:25 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: Yeah but (8:25 A.M.)

Y/N: What yeah but? You got mad at me for denying we’re dating and now that I’m more open to letting people know, you don’t wanna. What’s your problem, Yoongi? (8:25 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: I don’t wanna let them know yet about you know (8:25 A.M.)

Y/N: What do I know? (8:25 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: That you’re a cutie peachy pie (8:26 A.M.)

Y/N draws back from her phone in disgust. She looks up at Yoongi and cringes. Yoongi silently laughs. He looks like a dying seal. It’s not even cute and yet it makes Y/N’s cheeks warm up. She turns back to her phone.

Y/N: Oh please, everyone already knows I’m cute (8:26 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: But they don’t know you’re a peachy pie (8:26 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: My cutie peachy pie (8:26 A.M.)

Y/N freezes.

Mean Yoongi >:(: What do you think of my pick-up lines? (8:26 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: Getting better? (8:26 A.M.)

The tightness in Y/N’s chest loosens as she rolls her eyes, chuckling.

Y/N: Oh please. They’re as good as losers in a boxing match. They don’t pack a punch (8:27 A.M.)

Y/N looks up from her phone to see Yoongi cringing at her. Y/N smirks.

Mean Yoongi >:(: Your jokes are not funny (8:27 A.M.)

Y/N: And so are your pick-up lines (8:27 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:(: Why are you so mean to me? TT o TT (8:27 A.M.)

Y/N: I told you. You have the right to remain silent (8:27 A.M.)

Y/N hears Yoongi laugh behind his desk. She looks up and sees the man hunched over, shoulders vibrating. A wide smile graces Y/N’s lips.

The Creatives Department goes into full throttle quarter past eight. Myungsoo still hasn’t entered the office and Y/N finds herself smiling much wider. This must be her reprieve from what happened on Friday. She goes around the office to check on each team leader. Fortunately, Myungsoo’s designers are more cooperative than their leader. But her luck seems to be still running short when Amy informs Y/N with an apologetic smile that they’re still polishing their drafts and may only get finished around two o’clock. Y/N thinks it’s better than having Myungsoo mutter a deadline he’ll not follow.

Y/N goes back to her seat and tolerates the next few minutes of having Yoongi repeatedly stop by her desk just to tell her “good job, Y/N” with a smile that’s borderline sweet and annoying. It doesn’t matter if she’s just doing the most trivial things like stapling papers together, Yoongi will still come around and tell her “good job, Y/N.”

At around 10, Steven called Yoongi for a meeting and since then, Y/N was granted some peace and quiet. But for some weird reason, Y/N can’t help but glance at the desk across her from time to time. Y/N decides it must be the muscle memory from checking Yoongi in five-minute intervals to see if he’s planning some bullshit so she can flip a finger at him before he does. Y/N chuckles at the memory.

Lunch with Mina was delightful. Mina shared some gossips she got from Jisoo. And of course, she also talked about Mark. Apparently, Mark took Mina out yesterday to go to one of the date sites Mina has always dreamed of going to with her future lover: Fantasy Carnival. Y/N has always heard of that place through the advertisements Seokjin announces on the radio. After hearing how the carnival can get sickeningly filled with romance-themed rides and games for the Heart Holiday, Mina automatically took a liking to the date site.

“And you know how much I always wanted to go to that place,” Mina gushes, “The only difference is I wanted to go there when it’s near the Heart Holiday. Not during. You know I abhor crowds to a T.”

“Yeah, I know,” Y/N chuckles.

“But I didn’t get to say that detail to Mark before because I was afraid I’ll come off too strong and I guess it eventually slipped off my mind. So yesterday, he told me we’re going to the mall. And we did go to the mall. But after that, he took me to Fantasy Carnival!” Mina giggles, “So I asked him he came up with that surprise. He told me he remembers me talking about it when we’re just friends. He remembered it when I, myself, forgot when the hell I spewed it! Can you believe that?!”

“I’m surprised with Mark. But I can believe you not remembering things you said. You tend to blabber and forget,” Y/N gibes, laughing.

“Oh, hush you!” Mina playfully slaps Y/N’s arm, bursting into chuckles as well.

Seeing Mina so happy like this makes Y/N’s heart swell. Y/N doesn’t want to say it but Mark Tuan has miraculously exceeded her standards. Sure, Mina’s dating the guy for only less than a year—six months to be exact. But before Mina decided to court him 6 months prior, Mark has been Mina’s other shoulder to cry on for a year. Although Mark’s honesty in his feelings toward Mina has hurt her bestfriend twice, Mark still treated Mina like he always did: an understanding, caring friend. And obviously, he still is. The only difference is now, he’s an understanding, caring boyfriend.

Even back then, Y/N could tell Mark belongs to the A-list guys Mina liked. Probably even the best boy Mina has ever dated. And Mina knew that courting him for six months is the best thing she’s ever done despite everyone’s varying opinions. Y/N asked her why she thought this way and Mina told her she just felt it. “There’s actually no particular reason. I just…know I like him,” Y/N remembers Mina telling her. Y/N understands this. Or at least she tried to. She’s met countless of people in high school, college, and even at work who gave out the same reason. But no matter how much she understands where they are coming from, she still cannot help but wonder why.

“Mina, how did you know letting Mark in your life is a good decision?”

Mina looks at her, surprised. She then looks down at the tumbler in her hand. “You couldn’t be anymore blunt like this out of the blue, huh?” she chuckles.

“Sorry,” Y/N puts down her fork in her lunch box. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, it’s alright,” Mina waves off, laughing. “It’s alright, I’m just messing with you. You’re cute when you’re riled up.”

Y/N lets out a sigh of relief and chuckles.

Mina looks up at the ceiling, “How did I know Mark is a good decision, hmm…” She looks at her bestfriend, “I just felt it.”

Y/N shakes her head, laughing, “You said it before and I get it. But like, I don’t know, do you have any other factors you’ve considered?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N shrugs, looking away. “Just…anything other than ‘I just knew or I felt it.’”

“Like what?” Mina repeats, chuckling. “I think you have something to say. Just say it.”

Y/N’s shoulders slump as she throws up her hands, “I don’t know. I heard the same statement from countless of couples. The “I’m in a relationship with you because I like you because I just like you” reasoning. And I don’t disagree with that. Mrs. Robertson from the ground floor said the same thing. Dave from high school said the same thing. And so did Emily. Characters in romcom movies say so, too.” Y/N closes her eyes and sighs, “Even my mother…used to say the same thing.”

“And?”

“And when you hear their break up stories, you suddenly hear things like ‘you’re just with me because you want x. With ‘X’ being usually ‘my money, business, fame, connections.’ Sometimes the possessions of one’s family are included in the equation. While there is also the occasional ‘you just liked me because you want free, worry-less, safe sex.’ And when you do get to hear them and their partner’s stories and stories of people who knew them, you’ll realize…they’re right.”

“Well, they’re right. Most of the time.”

Y/N looks at her bestfriend, eyebrows raised.

“They’re right,” Mina repeats. “Breakups let you see the real colors of the person you’re dating because the delusion of love gets finally lifted. Even just for an inch. If you’d think about it, this idealism of ‘I like you because I just like you’ has to do more with the moral concept sexual love likes to exhibit. The moral concept that love has to be unconditional to be ‘love.’ Because if people said things like they’re in a relationship with someone because they like how they treat them so well, or the person they like has a clear direction in life and can ensure they will not have a difficult future if they decide to go long-term—this morality in love will not be so moral. Because if romantic relationships will be attributed to personal gain, what will be the difference then of love from a beautified version of selfishness?”

“But then again…aren’t humans inherently selfish?” Mina crosses her legs. “Most of the decisions we create are based on the benefits we’ll get at the end of the day. From what classes you’ll take, what kind of people you’ll hang out with, what dreams you’ll pursue, to as small as what you’ll wear today—all of them center on your consideration of what you’ll get out from them. You’ll help people because you know there’s a possibility you may bump into them again and need help in return. Sure, people can say it’s not always the case and it’s possible you just want to help because by not doing so, you would fail your own conscience. But then, isn’t your security with your conscience still pertains to personal gain?”

Y/N looks at Mina.

Mina shakes her head, chuckling, “See? Humans are inherently selfish. And it would be the same case when it comes to relationships. Sure, you like to make your significant other feel good. Feel loved. To see them smile, make them laugh means the world. But let’s admit it. Would you want a relationship where you know you wouldn’t get something good as well in return?”

Y/N shakes her head.

“Me too. So, to answer your question, I chose to be with Mark because he’s a good friend. I want a significant other who can be a friend I can trust. I want to love them that way. And I want to be loved that way in return.”

Y/N nods in understanding, “I see.”

“I’m curious, though. Why would you ask that kind of question?”

Y/N shrugs, “I’m just curious about how you decide on this kind of thing.”

Mina nods, taking a sip from her tumbler. “Enough about me. Let’s talk about what you’ve been up to lately that I didn’t know of.”

“Just work from usual,” Y/N drawls. “Nancy still hasn’t said anything. Yoongi is still being annoying.” Y/N makes an invisible pinch in the air, “but only a little now.” A sudden thought makes her jolt up. “And ooh, I’m watching Slam Dunk lately.”

“Wait…Slam Dunk? When did you ever get interested in sports? And basketball at that! You can’t stomach me gushing about the NBA playoffs and now you’re watching an anime about basketball?”

“Well, it’s a different scenario,” Y/N tries to reason but she ends up releasing a dejected sigh. “Okay, there’s not much difference. But blame Yoongi. He made me watch this show in exchange for him watching Naruto. Unfortunately, Slam Dunk is so good and now I can’t get it off my head.”

“Hmm,” Mina rubs her chin. “That’s good then. Tell me more about it.”

Y/N didn’t know how long she talked about the anime. All she knew is she hasn’t finished one of the dishes she packed—the sweet and sour fish fillet Yoongi cooked—when their co-workers started to pile back in the office, signaling the nearing end of lunch break. Y/N bids Mina goodbye and hurries to the break room to wash her utensils and food container.

All is going well so far. That is until she felt a hot breath tickling her ears.

“Hi, Y/N.”

“Holy horse!—” Y/N drops her Tupperware in the sink and turns around, coming face to face with the grinning Creatives manager.

“Holy horse’! Oh my god,” Yoongi bursts, laughing hysterically. “Out of all expressions, ‘Holy horse?!’”

“Oh, it’s just you,” Y/N frowns.

“Why? You don’t wanna see me?” Yoongi jibes, leaning his elbows on the marble countertop next to the sink as he watches Y/N’s side profile. “Would you rather see a holy horse?”

“Yes. Totally,” Y/N deadpans.

“You’re being mean again!” Yoongi laughs, lightly punching Y/N’s shoulder.

“This is what you’ve brought upon yourself when you decided to ‘scare’ me, while I’m washing. Which by the way,” Y/N pointedly looks at the man, “is an overused tactic. Give me something original if you want to bring out a legitimate reaction.”

“Why are you so hard to please?”

“Why are you even here?”

“Am I not allowed to be here?”

Y/N glances at him then focuses back on the reusable container she’s scrubbing. “Well, you are. It’s just weird you got here earlier than Dana, Seojoon, and Jeff. I haven’t seen the three enter the office yet.”

Yoongi drops his head on his arms and releases a big sigh. “They got to go out for lunch. While I got stuck in a meeting with Steven and the designers. Nancy rejected our DRM-inspired design for the articles.”

Y/N pauses to look at Yoongi. “Um…are you okay? Wanna, uh, talk about it?”

Yoongi doesn’t lift his head from his arms. “No. It’s not the first time Nancy rejected an almost-ready-to-go design.”

“Um, okay, then.” Y/N diverts her attention back to the soap-filled sink. Until she remembers she had her paper bag with her on the table. She turns to the man. “Have you eaten lunch?”

“…Nope.”

“I have some I didn’t get to eat in my paper bag.”

Yoongi raises his head to look at her. Y/N avoids his eyes as she points to her paper bag sitting on the table. “I got some food there. You can eat it if you want.”

Yoongi walks to the table and brings the paper bag with him back to the counter beside Y/N. He pulls up Y/N’s pink lunchbox and—

“Of course, I want this. This is my sweet and sour fish fillet! Why didn’t you eat this?”

Y/N bites her cheek. “I was full.”

Yoongi raises a brow, “Did you even eat what I gave you yesterday?”

“Of course! Mina and I ate the chicken pastel last night and I ate the vegetable stir-fry today for lunch. And I just packed some of the sweet and sour today. There’s still lots left in my fridge…” Y/N trails off. She whips her head back to the sink, rinsing the soap off her utensils. “I just didn’t get to eat it because I was already full, okay. Not that I didn’t like your cooking or whatever.”

“Oh, I already know you’d like it. It’s the creation of master chef Min after all,” Yoongi smugly smiles, reaching for his spoon and fork he keeps in reserve in the dish rack. He returns to Y/N’s side and leans his back against the counter. “So, how did they taste?”

Y/N makes a face, “Hmm, passable.”

Yoongi’s brows shoot up. “That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, they’re not just ‘passable!’” Yoongi scoops a pile of rice and fish fillet and shoves it into his mouth. “They taste amazing!” He scoops another spoonful and directs it at Y/N. “Here, taste it, yourself.”

“Ew, I don’t wanna share saliva with you.”

“Fine. I’ll just get your spoon then,” Yoongi turns around to open the dish rack again.

“Don’t get it, Yoongi, I just finished washing the dishes!” Y/N laughs, “Your cooking tastes amazing! There, I said it.”

Yoongi looks at Y/N. He closes the dish rack and smugly walks back to his place next to hers. “That’s more like it.”

“You’re such a credit whore.”

“And you’re such a miser when it comes to compliments.”

Y/N giggles and so does Yoongi.

Yoongi hunches over, laughing. He leans his head against Y/N’s shoulder in the process, “You’re getting better in your insulting game.”

“Seems you should start working on yours,” Y/N snickers.

They stand still like that until the last echo of a chuckle is let out and Yoongi stands up straight again to look at Y/N. “So…date you later?”

Y/N jokingly scoffs, “We’re gonna have a dinner date again?”

“Why,” Yoongi smiles, “you don’t wanna eat dinner?”

“’Course I do.”

“Then why are you complaining?”

Y/N shrugs, “Just felt like it.”

“Oh wow, how uncharacteristic of you. Why did I even ask?” Yoongi exaggeratedly rolls his eyes. Y/N snorts. Yoongi breaks into a wide grin again. “But, seriously though. Wanna date later?”

“Of course, duh. We’re still short on date documents.” Y/N turns to face the man and crosses her arms. “And from what I remember I already said ‘yes’ yesterday. Why do you keep asking?”

Yoongi shrugs, “Just wanna reaffirm if you’re still up for today. Not to say it feels kinda nice to hear you say ‘yes’ to a date. It’s like a miracle.”

Y/N bites her cheek and directs her eyes away from the man. “Of course, it should feel nice. This is me you’re talking about.”

“Oh yes, it’s you. That’s why it feels like a miracle.” Yoongi leans forward and whispers next to her ear, “Because, on a daily basis, you’d rather roast me to hell and back.”

And then, Y/N suddenly feels a pair of lips press a soft kiss on her cheek. She claps a hand over her heating skin and turns to look at Yoongi, eyes blown wide. Did he just kiss her—

“Please don’t yell. Ms. Teddy is here.”

Y/N looks behind Yoongi. Indeed, Ms. Teddy is there, opening the fridge. Even with her back seemingly turned towards them, Y/N could see the general supervisor’s eyes travel towards their direction. The heat on Y/N’s cheek turns down a notch. Only a little though as the warmth seeks residence in her chest as she looks back at Yoongi. But even that is impossible as her eyes jump from the man’s eyes to his small button nose, to his thin, slightly pink lips—which is a terrible idea—so she darts her eyes back to his eyes. She ends up focusing on his frizzy strand of hair, instead.

“W-what will we do now?”

“Since I let you go early last time…why not cover for me this time?”

“What?” Y/N sputters, “I don’t wanna stay here. I don’t know what to say to Ms. Teddy!”

“Just make up some cute story and nod at her speculations. She’ll believe it anyway. I had to go back to the meeting room in T-1. So,” Yoongi smiles at Y/N, “Bye for now, sweetheart. Thank you for the food!” He quickly turns around and hurries to the door.

“Hey!”

“Date you later, sweetheart!” Yoongi hollers and soon, he’s out of sight.

Y/N is left alone in the break room, awkwardly standing by the sink. She turns around and meets the eyes of the person who’s been watching the whole debacle—Ms. Teddy. Only now, she’s unabashedly staring at Y/N. Ms. Teddy looks like she has something to say. Y/N feels cold sweat run down the back of her neck. She swallows the lump of nervousness in her throat. So this is what Yoongi must have felt back then.

“Y/N.”

“Y-yes, Ma’am?”

“Do you have something to do?”

“Um, n-no. Not yet. So far.”

“Come sit with me. Let’s have a little—what do you youngsters call it? Oh right, tea spill,” Teddy laughs.

Tea spill? Y/N scrunches her brows. Is there actually any tea to spill? Y/N has deep respect for Ms. Teddy and sometimes, Y/N even goes to the supervisor to consult about work-related problems. However, Y/N thinks she isn’t personally close to Ms. Teddy to be spilling tea on anyone.

“I think I said it wrong,” Ms. Teddy waves her hand. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I meant ‘chitchat.’”

Oh. Y/N internally releases a small breath of relief. Tea spill is definitely not the accurate term for that. Y/N anxiously pats her pants as she walks toward the table, pulling the chair across the general supervisor.

“So,” Teddy leans forward and sets her jaw on her clasped hands. “I’ve seen you and Yoongi getting close these days.”

Y/N’s fingers start to fidget under the table. She knows this is obviously Ms. Teddy’s topic of interest after the previous stunt they pulled in the break room. She just didn’t expect the middle-aged woman would be so straightforward from the get-go. Y/N attempts to show Ms. Teddy a sweet smile. “Well, we just, um, started dating. S-so I guess, Yoongi and I are still awkward in setting the boundaries between work and personal life.” Y/N scratches her head, “We’re not in trouble are we?”

“Oh, god, no!” Ms. Teddy frantically waves her hands. “There’s no dating ban ever since DRM happened, so no need to worry! Although, Ms. Nancy is gonna be a different case.”

Y/N bites her lip as her eyes cast down on her hands, “Oh right…Ms. Nancy”

“But don’t worry! Rules are rules and whatever’s unbounded by the rules is totally okay. So, your relationship is gonna be totally safe,” Teddy awkwardly smiles. “Though I will suggest you and Yoongi tone down the display of affection within office spaces. Not that I’m complaining, no. In fact, I actually like it.”

Y/N blinks. Ms. Teddy freezes. She coughs into her hand and awkwardly laughs, “What I mean is—Nancy wouldn’t mind if your lovey-dovey moments will only be minimal. But I guess that also must be because Nancy is,” she shrugs, “Nancy.”

“I don’t think I can say anything to that, Ms. Teddy,” Y/N awkwardly chuckles.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Teddy waves dismissively. “You’re in good hands! Nancy wouldn’t know we chit-chatted about her and even if she does, she wouldn’t do anything to you.”

“W-why is that?”

“I guess you didn’t know yet,” Teddy smiles. “Way before Travel Loca was built, Nancy and I worked for the same company. I was her assistant and even back then, she’s always been stingy and strict. But you know, Nancy has a good heart underneath her tough armor. I know because I’m her bestfriend.”

Y/N’s eyes grow wide.

“It doesn’t seem believable, no? You rarely see us talk with each other in the office. But I guess we’re doing a good job. According to Nancy, that is,” Teddy jokingly rolls her eyes. “She said she doesn’t want us being chummy during work in case someone doubts my position was unfairly earned just because I’m close with the boss. That’s absolute nonsense because—look at me. Aren’t I the best general supervisor out there?”

Y/N nods, grinning.

“That’s what I like about you, Y/N,” Teddy winks. “Anyway, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to play a little act to avoid unnecessary drama.” Teddy purses her lips and looks at Y/N, “What I want to point here is…I know Nancy. Almost as much as I know myself, even. And because I know her so well, I know Nancy is deeply fond of you. She may not show it the way she should, but…she’s always been proud of you. She always tells me how amazing you are. How far you’ve grown from the cute, little chick you were when you first got into her company.”

Y/N’s jaw almost unhinges. Nancy is…proud of her? She tries to open her mouth but not a word rushes out. She doesn’t know what to say to that.

Ms. Teddy doesn’t mind Y/N’s lack of response though. She looks like she’s far gone absorbed in her story as she continues. “Nancy’s core flaw just happened to be her steel tongue but I guess you already understand where she’s coming from. You must already know Nancy’s background since you’re her P.A. and all.”

“Y-yeah. Ms. Teddy,” Y/N shifts in her seat. “I don’t mean to interrupt but I don’t think I’m the right person—”

“Oh please,” Teddy playfully taps her shoulder. “Y/N, if there is someone here who knows Nancy aside from me, that will be you. There is no harm talking about things we already know. Especially if it’s to clear things in hand.”

Y/N looks at the woman, confused.

Teddy sighs, “Nancy has been through a horrible divorce.”

Y/N looks down at her lap, “Yes.”

“Calling it draining will be unfair. It’s more like…deteriorating. Getting cheated on, swindled by the person who claimed to love her, Nancy even has to fight for the custody of her daughter. All because her shit of a husband couldn’t accept he fucked up and that losing majority of his money will only be one of the consequences.” Teddy sighs, “Nancy had to deal with all of that alone. If I were in her place, I think I wouldn’t be as strong she is now. My own divorce has taken too much from me and I didn’t even have to endure battling for custody. Many years have already passed but I still haven’t fully recovered. It’s hard to when I had so many memories with my ex-husband.”

Y/N places her hand on the table. She fiddles with her fingers, “I…I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize,” Teddy waves of, chuckling. “You’re not the one who messed up my life. My ex-husband should be the one to apologize. He’s the one who took advantage of all the dreams and insecurities I’ve bared to him.” Teddy looks at Y/N, smiling, “This is a bit of a segue but did you know I used to dream of being a photographer?”

“I…I didn’t know that, Ms. Teddy.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t seem like it now,” Teddy smiles. “But back then, I always liked taking pictures. I’d snap a picture of myself, my family, and friends whenever I felt like it. At first, I thought it’s just because I’m vain. I was so beautiful back then, you know.”

Y/N smiles at the woman, “Even now, you still are, Ms. Teddy.”

“Oh pssh, stop kidding me,” Teddy chortles. “I might actually start believing you.” Y/N chuckles. Teddy continues, “As I was saying…I realized I love taking pictures because I love the notion of capturing time in a still frame—to turn something as abstract as time into something concrete such as a picture. I felt happy knowing I can literally freeze time in the moments of my life I liked the most.”

Ms. Teddy sighs, “But alas, love turned that dream around. I was so in love with my ex-husband that seeing him achieve his dreams was already enough for me. I decided to lay down my dreams for him because becoming a housewife would make it easier for him to rise up the ranks in his job. He doesn’t have to worry about trivial stuff anymore like ‘who’ll cook this time?’ ‘who’ll clean up?’ ‘who’ll take care of our kid?’”

Ms. Teddy pauses. She looks down at her clasped hands. “But he ended up losing interest in what I’ve become. He belittled me when I no longer talked about philosophies that made him curious. He mocked me for the interests I started to have for home hacks and anything domestic. He even asked me where the dreams I used to have had gone to. My ex became the first one to teach me the lesson that sharing yourself with someone comes with showing them all the means where to hurt you the most.”

“But even if I knew this, I still stayed. In my time, separations were looked down upon. My family told me to suck it up. ‘For my son’ they said. My family said my ex would understand his mistakes soon and change for the better. And if he didn’t, I should just accept the way that he is because that’s ‘love.’ I know they said this just to save face from our relatives that would pry into my failed marriage. But even so, I listened to them and sucked it up. Four-five-seven years, I stayed. Until I couldn’t anymore and blew up. He did, too. He said he regretted marrying me. And then, I just,” Teddy shrugs, “left. The divorce happened almost seamlessly. He didn’t want anything to do with me and my son anymore that he willingly gave me full custody. It was not as draining as Nancy’s divorce but it’s still stressful. But at the same time, it felt liberating.”

Teddy cups her jaw, “I’d like to believe I’m happy now. Of course, I felt much better now. But there’s still anger and hate and disdain that’s left inside of me. No matter how much I tried letting it go, the anger and hate still clung to me. I find myself denying them at first. But after being in failed relationships after failed relationships, I finally realized they will keep on haunting me for God knows when. There are men I fell in love with who truly cared about me. But, I ended up letting them go because I let my pain decide for me. And it just hurt more because I know I have a lot of ‘what if’s’ I wished that could have been that ended up never being because I didn’t let myself…want and accept love when I know I desire it.”

Y/N presses her lips together. She wrings her hands together.

“Yeah, my ex-husband gave me so many memories but he doesn’t deserve all the credit. Because the day I met Nancy in The Traveler’s Foot was probably one of the happiest moments of my life,” Teddy smiles. “I picked myself up and did myself a favor of finally doing something that’s close to my dream. It wasn’t easy though. Companies wanted fresh faces over faded 30-year olds. Luckily, Nancy was in the hiring committee back then and she believed in me. I felt so happy to find someone who trusted me. And as I got to know her, I felt a connection I have never felt in a long while. I had someone that could finally understand me. I’ve been with her as she went through the same shit I did. I…saw myself in her and for once, I felt connected to myself.”

“Until,” Teddy sighs, “almost everyone around me decided not to get in relationships anymore. For years, no one wanted to be intimately connected with anyone. Life centered around security and financial stability. Romantic relationships became rare. I was happy at first. This sounds bad, but…I was overjoyed by the thought I’m no longer an error in the system. That happiness didn’t last for long though because seeing almost every single person out there end up like me was depressing. Scarred by love, afraid to love, plagued with what if’s.” Teddy shakes her head, “It doesn’t feel nice at all. I learned that when I really got to see Nancy.”

Teddy pauses and wipes the corner of her eyes, “Gosh, I only got to my point right now. You must be getting tired of me rambling on, huh?”

“No, Ms. Teddy, no,” Y/N waves her hands. “I actually like listening to people.” Memories of her talks with Yoongi in their dates flashes behind Y/N’s eyes and a smile makes its way on her face. “I actually like knowing about people’s stories.”

“That’s good then,” Teddy’s lips curl up but it falls into a sad smile. “Though I can’t assure Nancy’s story is far from being happy. Way back before the divorce, Nancy was…jolly.” Seeing Y/N’s eyes widen, Teddy chuckles. “The term doesn’t really fit her, huh? But seriously, there’s no other word I could think of but that. She laughs a lot, she’s passionate about her job, and everyone likes talking with her. Until I learned from her all of that we’re just an act so she can appear strong for her daughter.” Teddy sighs, “Nancy came from a broken family. Her dad left her and her mother when she’s only a small child.”

Y/N’s hands freeze. Her eyes widen.

“And she told me growing up, she vowed she’ll have her own family and make sure it will stay this time. So imagine her shock when her husband ended up being not who she thought he was. He wasn’t as gentle as he presented himself to be, nor was he faithful. Nancy tried everything to keep them together. Therapies, seminars, everything. I remember visiting her house and hearing her profusely cry at her husband to come back to her. But a person wouldn’t come back to someone they were not in the first place.”

Teddy’s shoulders deflate. “Nancy has no choice but to untether herself from that man for her and Mia’s sake. That man must have suddenly realized it was Nancy who earned them their house and car and decided he wouldn’t lose without giving up a fight. So he threatened to take Mia from Nancy and there ensured a long, long legal battle. It was draining but it’s all worth it when Nancy won the custody. But I guess along with that custodial battle, Nancy’s hope in people got also drained out. Because after that, she became what she is now. Stiff, unforgiving, cold. She didn’t let anyone in anymore.”

Teddy looks down at her hands, “I thought I would feel happy if I’m not the only one who’s suffering. I didn’t expect I’ll feel sad to see Nancy be consumed by her pain. And in her pain, unintentionally hurt anyone that comes too close for her liking. I fear someday there’ll be no one else left who’ll be willing to understand her.”

Teddy reaches for Y/N’s hands and clasps them in her own. “I didn’t tell you all of this to justify what wrongs Nancy has done to you but to explain why she…ends up doing the things she’s doing. The reason why she’s unable to give you the appreciation you deserve. I just want to let you know you’re doing more than enough, Y/N. Thank you for putting up with my friend.”

Y/N’s lips curve up, “You don’t have to thank me, Ms. Teddy. I’m just doing the best I can. It’s my job to assist Ms. Nancy, after all.”

“But still, I want to thank you,” Teddy insists.

Y/N looks at her clasped hands and lets a small smile grace her face.

“Y/N.”

“Yes, Ms. Teddy?”

“I know I have the reputation of being a bit overbearing whenever I see people getting in relationships. But I hope you’d also understand where I’m coming from. I can’t help but feel a tad bit happy that people your age are now more open about freely doing what you think is best for you. With the DRM and all the changes in the world, it seems all the beliefs our time followed without questioning is being contested to be kinder and fairer to everyone. It’s delighting to see people give a chance again to other people. People finding the good in love again. People trying and trying despite how many times they must have failed.” Teddy smiles, “I wish you and Yoongi the best.”

Y/N suddenly feels her throat dry up. There are still so many thoughts running in her head right now, with all the new things she’s learned from Ms. Teddy. But nevertheless, she tries to give a sincere smile. “Thank you, Ms. Teddy. I wish you the best in life, too.”

“Thank you as well. I need all the luck I can get,” Ms. Teddy laughs and Y/N follows. When they return into calm silence again, Teddy looks at Y/N, “I know I’m already saying so many ‘thank you’s’ right now but I have to thank you for sitting with me and listening to me ramble on. It feels good to have someone listen to your story from time to time.”

“It’s alright, Ms. Teddy,” Y/N grins. “I already told you, I like listening to people’s stories.”

“Alright, alright,” Teddy chuckles. “I must be keeping you for so long, now. You gotta head back to work.”

“Okay, I’ll take it as my cue to go now,” Y/N jokingly salutes as she stands up and grabs her paper bag. She walks to the glass door and looks at the general supervisor, “Thank you for today, Ms. Teddy.”

“Stop thanking me or we’re gonna repeat this ‘thank you’ cycle again!” Teddy waves her off with a chuckle.

After the chitchat with Ms. Teddy, Y/N’s day passed quite peacefully. Especially with Myungsoo still absent in the office. Y/N wears a huge smile as she makes her round again on each team leader in the office. She finally gets her most wanted cover page plans from Amy and Y/N’s happier to know it’s the finalized version. She quickly emails it to Nancy along with her report for the day with a confidence she didn’t expect to have. This must be her adrenaline pushing her to make up for what happened on Friday and re-prove herself to her boss. But it also has to do with what she learned from Ms. Teddy that Y/N found herself feeling secure not to take every bit of Nancy’s words to heart. Y/N’s spirit goes higher when Nancy immediately replies after she sent her email.

Ms. Nancy: Thank you for this. (2:15 PM.)

Ms. Nancy: Also, Y/N. I realized I was too harsh on you the last time I called. Sorry. (2:15 P.M.)

It’s unlike the formal apologies Y/N has made and studied in college but it’s already enough. Even more than enough, knowing Nancy. Y/N smiles as she texts back.

Y/N: It’s alright, Ms. Nancy. (2:15 P.M.)

“Hey, Myungsoo!”

Y/N flinches. She looks up from her desk, her eyes darting to the glass door and landing on the person she thought (and wished) was on leave today. Kim Myungsoo looks at Daniel Denver, the one who greeted him, and waves a hand as a reply.

“Half-day’s well past-over. Why did you only show up now?”

“I have to finish some stuff from home,” Myungsoo replies with an indifferent smile as he saunters in the office. When he passes by Y/N’s cubicle, Y/N ducks and makes herself smaller behind her stack of papers. She doesn’t know why she did it but for some reason, flight sounded more appealing than fight. Y/N curses under her breath. She’s never been afraid of confrontations. Why the hell is she cowering like she’s the one at fault? Mustering some confidence in herself, Y/N sits up straight and readies to direct her meanest glare at the man. But it’s too late. Myungsoo has already rounded the corner and Y/N’s glare just landed on his retreating back.

A couple of minutes later, Myungsoo passes by again, and just like the previous time, Y/N hid behind her papers. She can only glare at the man when his back is facing her. It’s petty, childish, and kind of pathetic, but Y/N can’t help it. She’d rather do something with her frustration externally than scream insults at the guy with her inner voice.

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur with Y/N planning her to-do lists guided by Nancy’s updates. Apparently, Myungsoo’s unwanted entrance is not her only problem for today. Song, Risa, the model for the cover page, just called in and informed the External Relations she got her schedule mixed-up for this week. She wants to move the shoot tomorrow, not on Thursday as originally planned. Risa is firm in her decision and didn’t listen to the Externals’ explanation, not even when they handed her to Nancy herself.

“Well, we have no choice,” Nancy said to Y/N, “This month’s issue is going to be a pretty big thing with the Heart Holiday and the date sites as the hottest topics in all social media discussions. This trending model will further push our issue to heights and unluckily for us, she knows that, too. We’re lucky Chanyeol was easy to talk to about this rescheduling. It’s just fortunate that we already have the plan. It’s not finalized as early as I wanted but we have to make do with it.” Nancy sighs, “We’re shooting tomorrow. Be present in the whole process and give me updates.”

“Yes, Ms. Nancy.”

“Okay. Goodbye, Y/N.”

Y/N ends the call with a grim face. They didn’t have to be in such a rush today if Myungsoo didn’t go full-on perfectionist in their planning. Y/N leans back on her seat with a tired huff. It’s almost five. She could see by the glass door the rest of the employees are passing by with bags on hand. Some of the Creatives are also preparing to leave. She should probably start fixing her own things, too, Y/N thinks. Her eyes fall on the empty table across her. Yoongi’s still not here. Y/N sighs. How much longer can this meeting go on?

“What are you doing?”

Y/N jolts. Dana is in front of her, a wide grin on her face. When did she come here? Y/N thinks. She never heard a noise.

“What are you doing?” Dana repeats, tilting her head.

“O-oh, hi Dana. I’m…fixing my stuff. Oh! I finished reviewing the templates and designs you’ve given me,” Y/N hands the neat stack on her desk to the woman. “I also circled the ones that would look amazing to combine instead.”

Dana flips through the papers and nods. It’s somehow too quick that Y/N isn’t sure if Dana has already visualized what she wrote. Y/N hopes Dana will go back to it later.

“Amazing as always! Thank you, Y/N,” Dana grins. She puts down the stack on the desk and cups her face again. “So, what are you up to? With Yoongi?”

Y/N chuckles nervously, “What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know what I mean. I think you know what everyone is talking about.”

Y/N gulps.

Dana rolls her eyes and smiles, “Hello? Finger hearts and winking? And don’t you dare say you’re not texting each other across the room like cheesy teenagers when I damn know what I saw.”

“O-oh that?” Y/N fiddles with her fingers, “We’re just, um, talking about something.”

Dana leans forward, “What ‘something?’”

“Our date?” Y/N squeaks.

She’s left no time to think about what she just sputtered when Dana reels back and makes finger guns at her. “oooOOOOHHH, how romantic!”

Y/N rubs her arms, “I-it’s nothing. It’s just a date.”

“I see,” Dana rubs her chin thoughtfully. “so you’re no longer in the denial phase, huh. I guess tomorrow you’re gonna announce your labels to everyone.”

“What? No!” Y/N shakes her head and halts. She darts her eyes away from Dana, “I actually don’t know.”

Dana chuckles, “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t be pressured, I’m just messing around. Anyway, do you have specific plans for your date later?”

“I…don’t think so? Probably just dinner.” Y/N doesn’t remember anything about her and Yoongi’s plans other than dinner.

“Oh,” Dana nods. “Well, Cinema 84 downtown is celebrating their anniversary this whole week and they’re offering 40 percent off their tickets. If you guys won’t mind, would you like to join me, Seojoon, and Jeff to the movies later?”

“You’re going to the movies tonight?”

“Yeah, why not?” Dana grins. “We’re gonna have discounts! Plus, Nancy’s not here and we gotta enjoy the days we’re not loaded with work.”

Y/N furrows her brows. “But your department’s literally cramming tonight. Are you sure you three wanna go out?”

“Eh, it’s the others’ turn to do their jobs,” Dana flicks her hand with an eye-roll. “Besides, Jeff and Seojoon already finished their work. And I’m already like, 85 percent done.” Seeing Y/N’s skeptic look, Dana giggles, “Hey, don’t look at me like that. I’m trying my best and tonight I just wanna have some fun.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Y/N smiles, “Just…messing around.”

“Ooooh, little miss Y/N is finally getting the game,” Dana winks, making Y/N chuckle. The blonde woman leans on the table. “Okay, so, do you lovebirds wanna join us? It’s still a date. There’s just an addition of us as third wheels which we do not mind. At all.”

Y/N bites her lip. It’s been a while since she watched a movie at the cinema. And from their previous conversations, Yoongi’s probably haven’t been to the cinema for a long time, too. It’s also hard to disregard the very tempting 40 percent discount.

Y/N perks up, “I think it sounds good. Let me just check Yoongi if he’s finished with his work.” She fishes out her phone in her bag. But just when Y/N has started typing her message, her phone vibrates.

Mean Yoongi >:(: I think I have to postpone our date, sweetheart. Just finished our meeting and Steven wants me to finalize our drafts for the designs of the main articles tonight. Is it okay to date you tomorrow instead? (4:57 P.M.)

Y/N bites her lip. She looks at Dana and apologetically smiles. “Sorry, I don’t think Yoongi and I would be able to join you guys. Steven needs Yoongi to finish his work tonight.”

“Oh,” Dana nods. Her grin turns into a small smile, “That’s okay. We can all hang out some other time. But…how about you? You don’t wanna join us?”

Y/N awkwardly smiles. “Sorry. I’ll catch up with you guys sometime. I guess the tiredness has caught up with me now and I just want to go home.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Dana smiles as she turns in her heel. “Have a safe trip home, Y/N.”

“You guys, too!”

Dana waves her hand as she makes her way to the door with her bag. Soon after, Seojoon and Jeff pass by Y/N to bid her goodbye as well.

By the time Y/N slings on her bag and walks to the door, the majority of the Creatives’ staff are packing to leave. Y/N looks at Yoongi’s desk one more time before she turns around and heads for the Accounting Department. Mina’s already waiting for Y/N and they file out of Travel Loca along with the other employees. It is only when their lift is a floor below them does Y/N feels an itch bothering her feet.

“Hey, Y/N, are you okay?” Mina asks, “You keep bouncing your feet.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N smiles, her lips stretched too wide more than she wanted to.

Mina looks at her with brows furrowed but nods.

The elevator dings. Their co-workers start to get in the lift. Y/N bites her lips.

“Actually, I’m not fine, Mina.”

Mina looks at her weird, “What?”

“I’m staying in the office. Go home without me.” Y/N whirls around in her feet and runs to the hallway.

“Hey, Y/N!”

“Don’t worry about me!”

Y/N pushes the glass doors open and heads back to the Creatives’ office. She’s met by questioning stares from her co-workers but Y/N doesn’t have time to feel self-conscious. She makes her way to the hallway past the cubicles and saunters to the meeting room on the far left. Goosebumps start to raise on her skin once she nears the door and sees the opaque silhouette of Yoongi inside the room.

Millions of thoughts are buzzing right now in her head. Most of them, warning her this can be a decision she’ll regret later. And Y/N knows they must be true. There are a million and one ways choosing to be with Yoongi right now could end up with her making a fool out of herself. She could even lose her pride and confidence in herself once she gives away to Yoongi that he’s started to occupy an inexplicably large space in her mind. And that no matter what Y/N does, she cannot uproot the thought of him out of her head. But still, a part of her—more specifically the soft thing between her two lungs—insists this is the right decision. For no other reason than it feels…so right. When Y/N wraps her fingers around the metal handle. She knows there’s no point in denying it when what she’s feeling right now is synonymous with the way she feels when she’s about to get a gift on Christmas day. Anxious, scared, nervous, but…happy. Maybe it’s time she let that soft thing in her chest be selfish for once. Y/N closes her eyes and pushes the door open.

“Who’s there?” Yoongi whips his head to the door and immediately, his eyes turn into saucers. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to work on my report I’ve obviously already finished, duh.”

“You know that’s not exactly a reasonable answer.”

Y/N ignores him and picks up one of the numerous portfolios strewn on the table. “What are these for?”

“Designs.” Yoongi focuses back on his laptop, letting go of his unanswered question.

“Yeah, I know,” Y/N drops the portfolio back on the stack. “But what I mean is…why does Steven need you to work on these tonight? You’re not the main man for the cover page.”

“Nancy blew on us today for not having Myungsoo finish the cover page plans as soon as they can. So, Steven thought about finishing the new set of designs ASAP before Nancy can go Terminator on us again. At least with this, we can have more leeway to redo our work in time,” Yoongi sighs, “in case Nancy trashes our designs again.”

“Yeah…but these seem like a lot of work.”

“Compared to Steven’s workload with our site, this is nothing.” Feeling Y/N’s stare on him, Yoongi sighs and slumps his head on the wooden table, “But you’re right. This is still a lot of work.”

“Umm…want me to help you?”

Yoongi pauses and looks at her.

Y/N feels her cheeks heat up. She shifts her eyes from the man to her fingers, “I’ve got nothing to do anyway and I’m feeling kinda bored.”

“Okay, then.” Yoongi chuckles and pushes a portfolio to Y/N. “You already put out a very tempting offer. Don’t go taking it back.”

The next minutes are filled with the humdrum of papers being flipped, keyboards crunching, and tablets squeaking. The silence is comfortable, almost serene, and no one dares to break it other than to ask “do you want it to look like this?” and “what do you think?” It doesn’t take too long for minutes to grow into an hour and soon, into an indefinite blur of time. Y/N and Yoongi wouldn’t have known they got too absorbed at work if the door to the meeting room wasn’t swung open with a timid “Excuse me.”

“Sir Min—” Amy’s eyes widen at the sight of Y/N. “O-oh, and Ms. Y/N. I’m, uh, going home now.”

Yoongi nods, “Okay, take care.”

“Thank you, sir. Um, you two are gonna be the only ones left here so…”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi smiles. “We’re about to finish as well. We’ll lock up the office on our way out.”

“Okay. Goodbye then, Sir Min, Ms. Y/N,” Amy smiles and closes the door.

Y/N stretches her back. She glances at her watch and her eyes grow impossibly wide. “Hey, Yoongi, it’s already eight.”

“Eight?” Yoongi places down his pen. “We didn’t have dinner yet.” Yoongi stretches his arm and reaches for his phone. “What do you wanna eat?”

Y/N leans back on her chair and closes her eyes, “Anything you like.”

Yoongi squints at her, “Are you sure about that? I may order us a feast of super spicy foods right now and you may not get to take a single bite.”

“Why do you have to be like this?” Y/N drags a hand on her face. “Fine…Order some pizza.”

“That’s more like it,” Yoongi chuckles.

20 minutes later, the papers and the laptop are pushed aside and replaced with one large pizza box with only three slices left inside.

Y/N taps her hand on the table and lets out a satisfied sigh. “God, I feel like my tummy’s about to burst.”

“Me, too,” Yoongi seconds, patting his full stomach for emphasis. “Hear that? I’m so full. I feel I’m gonna regret this when I go home. Jeongguk’s gonna berate me for the huge dump I’m gonna take in the toilet later.”

Y/N cringes, “Eww. Keep your poo business to yourself.”

“But we’re friends. Friends share bathroom stories.”

“Then, I don’t wanna be your friend anymore.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. You poo too.”

Y/N squints at him. Yoongi pouts and whines. Y/N shakes her head, chuckling, “Stop doing that. You’re not cute. You look stupid.”

“But you like it when I look stupid.”

Y/N looks at him and shrugs, “Well, you’re not wrong on that.”

“Hey! You’re not supposed to agree! I don’t look stupid!”

Y/N doesn’t answer and just giggles.

The laughter soon bubbles down and it’s silent again. But this time, there’s no papers being turned, no keyboard keys clicking, and no pens making sliding noises on the tablet. There’s nothing audible to Y/N’s ears but her and Yoongi’s steady breaths. It’s both welcoming and nerve-wracking at the same time. Y/N feels an itch in her mouth to say something to fill the still air.

“Hey, Y/N.”

Y/N perks up and looks at the man.

“Have you ever thought about…why do jobs have to be so difficult?”

“Well, there’s nothing easy in life.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Yoongi sits up and leans on the table. “But I can’t help but think sometimes, why are people accustomed to just…keep doing their jobs even when they don’t like it?”

“Survival,” Y/N says in a clipped tone. “People need money to pay their bills and buy their food. Not everyone is given the financial security to switch jobs when they don’t feel like it anymore.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Yoongi nods his head. “But what if you have the means and privilege to switch jobs but you still don’t?”

Y/N crosses her arms, “Are you saying you hate your job?”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. He pauses. “Okay, yes, I do. At first, I liked it. But now, I don’t think so. Everything started blurring into a monotonous routine and I no longer find anything new to love about it.”

“Well, why don’t you quit?”

“Are you serious?” Yoongi scoffs, “I can’t just quit. Starting all over again at my age would be a nightmare.”

“Then that’s your answer.”

Yoongi looks at her and tongues his cheek, “Oh wow. That’s very revolutionary, thank you.”

“Well, what do you want me to say? It’s normal for people to fear change.”

“Change?”

“Yeah. Throwing all your progress and starting all over again. Breaking the routine so bad you have to find and fumble for a new one. That’s change and people usually stray from it because of the uncertainties it entails.”

Yoongi nods slowly. “So…do you also keep your job because you’re afraid of change?”

“Nope. In fact, I’m chasing for change.”

“How?”

Y/N looks at Yoongi and shakes her head, laughing softly, “I don’t wanna say it. You know it already.”

“Nope, I don’t. Tell me.”

“Fine.” Y/N closes her eyes and sighs, “I want to write. It’s always been my dream to write. Books, articles, anything. Though I prefer something akin to traveling because I want to let people experience going to different places. I’ve always been in awe of how numerous articles and stories have taken me all over the world when I don’t have any means yet to do so. I want to be able to do the same.” A small smile forms on Y/N’s lips, “And being Nancy’s P.A. will help me do it.”

“How so?”

“Hello? Nancy’s like one of the best journalists I’ve read from! Have you read her articles? They’re amazing and I want to be able to do that too. Being Nancy’s P.A. helped me learn so much about this field. I just need Nancy to be impressed enough to promote me so I could go to the Writing Department and go fulfill my dreams. O-or if things go south, I can jump ship, write something and get a recommendation from her. Nancy’s a big thing in the travel journalism field and any recommendation from her will surely land me a favorable spot in this industry.”

“Wow, you got everything planned out,” Yoongi trails off. He looks down at his hand tapping on the table. “While I’m here just…fumbling around.”

“That mustn’t be true. Surely, you have a reason why you at least decided to be here.”

Yoongi looks at Y/N and chuckles. “There’s no reason. I just applied for the P.A. position back then because it paid higher than my previous job.”

“Well, that’s a reason.”

“Not as great as yours. You have dreams. I don’t think I’ve ever had one for myself. Not even after I got promoted,” Yoongi lets out a humorless laugh. “I guess that must also be a reason why I can’t feel the drive to be happy at what I’m doing.”

Y/N stares at Yoongi. He always seemed so happy and confident in what he does. He gives his all in his work and handles problems so effectively. But looking at the blank, mirthless eyes right now, the Yoongi in front of her looks so different from the one she knew. Y/N didn’t know he’s feeling this way. The way he seems more cheerful when he chats with his co-workers than working on his job must have been a sign. But Y/N just ignored it and dismissed it as his way of manipulating others to like him more. Y/N bites on her lip. She thinks she must’ve been projecting a twisted version of Yoongi for so long just because of her distaste of the man.

Y/N sucks in a breath and sighs. “Um, Yoongi. You know…I didn’t always have a clear plan.”

Yoongi turns to her, eyes questioning.

Y/N gulps as she interlocks her hands. “Back in high school, I was a real mess. A pointless arrow as I’d like to say. People think I have everything figured out because I’m getting the topmost grades. They don’t know I just aimed for those grades because my mom wanted me to. She didn’t say it in my face but I know she does. I only see her happy when I achieved something. I guess that’s the reason why even if I always top the class each year, I can’t find myself to be happy about it. Nothing else mattered other than getting that top grade. But all of that changed after 11th-grade summer camp.” Y/N looks at Yoongi, “Do you remember the rotating circle of letters the teachers always organize?”

“The one where they form the students in a big circle and in a smaller one inside that big circle?”

“Yeah, and they get the students to write letters to the person they’re gonna stand in front of. Then when the music stops, you step to the side and write another letter to the new person.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Yoongi nods. “What about it?”

“Well, there’s this guy who wrote me a letter. I wasn’t able to get his name or face because his name tag must have fallen to the ground and he’s wearing this black hoodie that’s too big for him that the hood covered almost half of his face. He didn’t talk, too, so I can’t recognize his voice.”

“Sounds like a weird guy,” Yoongi chuckles.

“Yeah…if you put it that way. But I can’t forget him because he wrote me one of the most memorable letters I ever got.” Y/N’s lips curl up, “He wrote that I actually inspired him to do better in school and he said he’s sure I’ll surely get to fulfill my dreams and be successful someday. He even said he loved the speech I gave in the contemporary speech contest held in English week.” Y/N chuckles, “I don’t remember anyone was actually paying attention because the auditorium was noisy with chatters. And this guy just comes out and writes me a line from my speech.”

Yoongi leans forward, “What does it say?”

“‘Being mature is not wrong, being childish sometimes is not wrong. What’s only wrong is how you crave for happiness, but never did anything about it, when actually, you have a choice.’” Y/N smiles. “It’s the last line of my speech. The contest was about childhood and youth and I talked about how society makes us get rid of our childishness once we hit adulthood. Which is kinda ridiculous as it is the children who have this gift in finding happiness in the smallest things. The very dilemma of many adults.” Y/N lets out a contented sigh. “I remember being so proud of writing that line because I think it sounded cool. But now, I’m proud of it because it became memorable to someone else.”

Y/N smiles as she caresses the ridges on her knuckles, “I didn’t know I’ll be able to make a mark on someone with my words. Nor even get inspired by my own speech by having someone else write it back to me. And after mulling it over again and again for so long, I realized it makes me happy to touch other’s lives. To make them feel good by mere words. Soon after I made sense of my obsession with travel magazines, I finally knew my dream.”

Y/N shifts in her seat and leans forward. “What I mean to say is...Yoongi, not everyone knows their dream from the get-go. I had to make sense of each puzzle piece in my life before I got to know my dream. I’m sure I’m not the only one who experienced that. And I’m more sure there’s still a lot of people who are still fumbling around, trying to make sense of life.” Y/N heaves a breath and closes her eyes, “Listen to me, Yoongi, because I’m just about to say something I don’t think I’ll ever repeat again.”

“Okay, I’m listening.”

Y/N opens her eyes and looks straight at Yoongi. “You have a knack in what you’re doing. You wouldn’t be able to come up with creative concepts in such a short time if you’re not good in this field. Our co-workers aren’t wrong to praise you for being such a great boss because you are indeed one. You handled your people well and even if Myungsoo fucked up, you didn’t play the blame game and just focused on fixing the problem. Look, we’re even about to get done on this set. Yeah, you were an ass when you co-PA-ed with me and I used to think you probably just got promoted because you gave Nancy the unpublished sequel of Bird and Foe before I can. But now, I think Nancy must have seen the good points I said beforehand to promote you to this position so quickly. Probably the reason why you were a shitty P.A. was maybe you just don’t fit being a P.A.”

“Wow…that’s a lot to take.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“I don’t know if I got complimented or insulted or both.”

“Both. I prefer you to believe both.”

“Well, what did I expect from you? You’re you.” Yoongi chuckles.

“Yeah…I’m me,” Y/N lets out a chuckle as well.

When the silence takes over again, Y/N coughs into her hand. “Yoongi, you’re good at what you’re doing. It may be even enough as a starting point to realize your dream. But if you don’t think it’s not doing you good anymore, it’s alright. After all, life is not a race. We’re just going on a pace that works for us. Take your time in finding out another way to find your dream. And if you feel stuck in your search, o-or you feel like you’ll never find it, just know it’s also okay. Dreams don’t have to be so grandiose or-or ambitious. It can be waking up to a new morning or going home to cook something you like and they would still hold the same value as ambitious dreams. Because they are yours.”

Yoongi nods slowly, looking down at the table. “It feels good to hear someone say that to me. I think…I’ll go with going home to cook something I like for now. Thank you, Y/N.”

Y/N feels warmth creep on her cheeks and she darts her eyes back to her intertwined hands. “Don’t thank me. It’s just the way life really is about.”

A moment of silence passes again. Yoongi breaks it again this time. “So…what’s gonna be your agenda for tomorrow?”

“Why?”

“If you’re free, we can have a date tomorrow. To make up for today.”

“Well, tomorrow…we’ll have the photoshoot for the mag cover. Nancy didn’t assign me to do anything other than the doing the usual reports and monitoring the photoshoot so I can update her.” Y/N closes her eyes and huffs, “Thinking about it is giving me a headache. I will see Myungsoo’s face again and I’ll have to break my word.”

“What word?” Yoongi leans forward, forehead scrunched.

“Last Wednesday, I told him he doesn’t have to have me throughout the whole processing of the cover page in exchange of him sending me the raw plans of his team. And I’m kinda freaking out because I hate breaking my word.”

“Why do you have to worry about that? It’s your job. You have to do it whether Myungsoo likes it or not.”

“Yoongi, you don’t understand. Myungsoo is going to turn things around and make it difficult for me and I could already tell we’re gonna cause a loud commotion right during the shoot—”

“Y/N. Who’s the first to call out Jennie Kim in a meeting that involved our entire batch?”

“I—What?” Y/N freezes and darts her eyes to Yoongi.

Yoongi clasps his hands on the table and smiles, “Y/N, who’s the first student that called out Jennie Kim in front of our batch?”

“W-why are you bringing that up, Yoongi? I don’t get it—”

Yoongi sighs, “Y/N, just answer me. Who’s the one who called out Jennie Kim about the inter-section dance competition?”

Y/N looks down at her lap and sighs, “Me.”

“Right. And who’s the brave one who removed Jennie’s name and her equally shitty friends, Dowon and Nayeon, from group projects they didn’t put any work in?”

“…Me.”

“Right, you did. You stood up when you sensed bullshit. You stood your ground and fought for what you believe is the right thing to do. You never let any of them step on you and take credit for things they didn’t deserve. You did all of those things, Y/N. So why are you afraid now to do the same to Myungsoo?”

“Who says I’m afraid?”

“Your body language does,” Yoongi points at her.

“What the—” Y/N halts. She presses her lips together and bites her cheek. She closes her eyes and admits with a soft voice, “Okay, I am afraid. I know I said I took pride in putting Nayeon, Dowon, and Jennie back to their places. But no one knows how much I regret doing those stuff.”

Y/N clenches her hand. “I’ve said things so harshly and made enemies out of them and the people that are friends with them. Every year I have to constantly keep a strong front to the people around me so they wouldn’t think I’m bothered that no one wants to talk with me anymore. But the truth is…I am bothered. I pretend I’m okay when no one wants to pick me in group works anymore. I tell myself I’m fine on my own even if no one wants to be in the same room as me anymore. I can do school works by myself, heck, I can do extracurricular projects on my own. But the truth has to come and douse me in cold water when I realize I cannot really do everything on my own. For one, I can’t have another person be willing to listen to me. I can’t do that on my own.”

Y/N sighs, “Sure, college came and things got a bit better when I got to have Mina by my side. But it’s still not enough for me to have a clean slate. Tons of our classmates went to the same college and stories about me has already spread to people whose names I don’t even know. I only got informed about it when one of them was kind enough to tell me in sophomore year. And now that I got to go far, far away from all of them to work here,” Y/N sniffles, “I finally got the new start I’ve always craved for years. That’s why I can’t just tell off Myungsoo, Yoongi. He got here before I did and he’s got more friends than me. I just—I don’t want history to repeat itself when I’ve already come so far.”

Y/N raises a hand to rub away the tears stinging her eyes only to wipe away a tear that has already run down on her cheek. She looks at her wet palm and chokes on a sob. “God, why am I even crying?”

Before she could cover her face with her hands, a pair of large, warm hands has already cupped her face and wiped her tears for her. She looks up and finds Yoongi kneeling in front of her, brows scrunched in concern, eyes searching for hers. “It’s alright to cry, Y/N,” he says. Y/N’s lips tremble and another sob goes past her lips. She leans toward him and Yoongi meets her halfway, wrapping his arms around her as she muffles her cries into his shoulder. Yoongi stays silent and just listens to her tearful hiccups as he gently rubs soothing circles on her back.

When the trembling of her body calms down, Y/N lifts herself and leans her forehead on Yoongi’s shoulder instead. She doesn’t have it in her to look up at Yoongi and let him see how weak she has become. Just like what happened by the mango tree last Friday. Y/N heaves out a breath, “Sorry…I cried again.”

“No, it’s okay,” Yoongi says, voice rumbling deep from his chest where Y/N could feel his steady breaths. “I should be the one who’s apologizing. I’ve pried too much. I’m sorry.”

“I-it’s alright. You’re just being a…good friend.”

“I don’t think so. I’ve made you cry when I just befriended you this week.”

“I’m telling you, it’s alright. I just got emotional.”

“No, I’m sorry—"

“Just listen to me and stop apologizing, okay? Or else this night would just end with us saying sorry again and again.” Y/N lets out a small laugh. She pulls herself away from Yoongi and quickly wipes her eyes. “It’s alright. See? I’m fine again.”

“Y/N, it’s alright if you don’t feel fine. You don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m your friend now, remember?”

Y/N bites her cheek, “Yeah, I know. I’m just saying…I feel better now. All of the things came over me and I-I just felt overwhelmed.” She looks up at Yoongi, “Thank you for listening, Yoongi.”

Yoongi hums and nods. Silence takes over the room again. It takes another minute for Y/N to realize Yoongi’s still kneeling in front of her and his hands are actually intertwined with hers. Heat spreads throughout her skin like wildfire and a wave of self-consciousness washes over her. Y/N tries to subtly pull away when Yoongi’s hold on her grows firmer.

“You don’t have to call Myungsoo out tomorrow if you don’t want to.”

“W-what?”

“You can decide not to call out Myungsoo tomorrow if you want. I’m sorry I pushed my idea on you and made you cry. I just…can’t take it when someone’s stepping all over you and treating you so unfairly. I just want you to know that should you…decide to stand up for yourself, you don’t have to worry about the past repeating anymore. Because now you have Mina,” Yoongi looks at Y/N. “And you have me. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

Y/N looks up at him and Yoongi holds her hand tighter as he smiles at her. No word passes through Y/N’s lips but a hiccup. She immediately looks back at her hands, blinking back the tears that’s started to sting her eyes again. She can’t cry again. Not when she has already pulled herself together. Not when her heart is pounding loud against her ribcage, simultaneously sounding so outlandish and heavenly to her ears. How long has it been since she felt like this? Y/N gnaws on her lip and closes her eyes, trying to shake away the thought. She can't think about it now. Not when Yoongi is right in front of her, looking at her as if there’s nothing else that matters but her and him.

Y/N takes a deep inhale. “Thank you…Yoongi.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to thank me.”

Y/N flashes him a small smile. Realizing Yoongi’s hands are still on hers, Y/N’s cheeks heat up and she pulls away. She turns back to the table and clears her throat, “Did Steven let you borrow his car today?”

“Umm, yeah. Why?”

“Okay. Why don’t we finish these designs now so you can drive me home.”

Yoongi stands up from his position and snickers, “Who says I’m driving you?”

“I helped you with your work. That’s the only repayment you can give me.”

“Touche,” he chuckles as he plops back on his seat.

The next minutes are spent in arranging the designs and emailing them to Steven with crossed fingers. With the absence of any reply within the five minutes that have passed, Y/N figures they’re lucky they don’t have to deal with any possible negative feedback to their work tonight. They lock up the office and stride to the elevators, tired chuckles filling the night air.

“God, I can’t believe we’re finally done. At 9 P.M. at that,” Yoongi sighs as he pulls the car from Rockfort Place and onto the main driveway.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t be done by now if it weren’t for me,” Y/N quips, grinning.

“Excuse me? I can finish quickly even if you didn’t help me.”

“Yeah, but can you finish all of them at 9 P.M.? Nope, mister. That’s all thanks to my help.”

“Okay, okay, thank you, Y/N. Thank you sooo much.”

“Yeah, that’s more like it.”

“Though I think you should also be thanking me back,” Yoongi snickers.

“What for?” Y/N side-eyes the man.

“You obviously had fun in our mini impromptu collab. You went all out in the little details on the templates.” Yoongi glances at her, “Not to say you also got to have free pizza.”

“Hey! You said you’re gonna pay!”

“Yeah, yeah, I did say that. But still, it doesn’t change that you had fun yourself, sweetheart,” Yoongi smirks. It earns him a light punch in the shoulder. Yoongi laughs.

Y/N sinks into the seat and looks at the peaceful cityscape outside. “Yeah, I had fun,” she admits under her breath.

“What is it?”

“I had fun, Yoongi. Working with you was fun.” A tender smile forms on Y/N’s lips, “This is probably my first overtime where I actually had fun.”

Yoongi chuckles, “Yeah, me too.”

The silence that fills the car is comfortable. Y/N wonders if she should say something to fill the blank air. She decides against it.

However, it’s not the same for Yoongi. “Y/N,” he calls out in a soft voice.

The woman turns to him.

“You haven’t answered my question yet.”

“What question?”

“The one I asked you the moment you entered the meeting room.” Yoongi looks at Y/N, “Why did you decide to…stay with me tonight?”

Y/N gulps. She diverts her eyes back to the window. “I…don’t know, to be honest.” She bites her cheek and closes her eyes. Her chest feels heavy with the big lie she uttered. Because God does she know the answer to Yoongi’s question. An answer she, herself, just acknowledged the very second she pushed open the door. However, feigning ignorance for now seems like the most logical choice. Especially when she just dipped her toe in a field she swore not to step on again. Y/N’s still finding her footing and she would rather bask in ignorance first than face the things she knows that could possibly hurt her. Things only Yoongi could answer. It wouldn’t hurt much if she withholds her own answer to him for now, right?

Y/N grazes her knuckle with her other hand and shrugs, “I just didn’t feel like going home yet.”

Yoongi hums “Okay,” eyes not leaving the road.

The night drags on with the car’s radio filling the air with words left unsaid.

DAY 10 – February 4; Tuesday

Y/N feels this feels like she’s high on adrenaline too early for the day. Her thoughts run amuck, overlapping and ending each other too fast for her to make sense of. From worries about the outfit she’ll wear to the step she’ll take on a road crossing—Y/N’s spent a lot of time in her head more than she usually did. So, when Mina tells her something, it falls on deaf ears.

“…It’s a real pain in the ass DRM won’t let two people in a relationship be witnesses. I could have also gotten Mark to help you out,” Mina pauses and taps her shoulder. “Hey, did you hear me? I told you I already got Jisoo roped in. You only have to worry about getting three more witnesses.”

“Oh? Uh, um, that’s great!” Y/N laughs and she surprises herself with how loud she actually sounded when she finds a couple of train passengers looking at her. She slaps a hand over her mouth, “Oopsies.”

“What’s up with you?” Mina chuckles, “You look like you’re high on something worse than drugs since this morning.”

Y/N fixes her grip on the handle. “I don’t look high.”

“Oh, but you do, Y/N. If it’s possible for you to actually see yourself right now, you would agree with me.” Mina points at her, “Your face has been constantly switching from your usual bitch resting face to a giggly high school girl. Did something happen yesterday?”

“What? No!”

“Yesterday, you left me in the elevator only to go home four hours later with a stupid smile on your face. Which, mind you, you still refused to spill anything about. And today, you won’t even stop looking at your phone.”

“I’m just waiting for Nancy’s text. Like usual.” Y/N presses her lips together and pushes her phone further down in her pocket.

Mina squints at her but drops the subject. The train stops in the next station and more passengers step in to replace the few who left. Y/N feels a throng of people make their way next to her, making her squeeze herself further between her bestfriend and a high school student. For a split second, the thought of how will things go if Yoongi was with her right now crosses her mind. Will he hold her hand tighter so they won’t get separated from each other? Y/N flushes and shakes her head adamantly. She can’t believe she’s starting to get ridiculous thoughts just because of a good morning text.

Mean Yoongi >:( : Good morning! Good luck in the photoshoot today, sweetheart (6:34 A.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:( : You can do this, cutie peachy pie! (6:34 A.M.)

Those texts sound so ridiculous and cheesy. She shouldn’t be feeling…things from it. And yet she’s here, biting her lips from smiling too much. God, she’s received lots of good luck messages before, courtesy of Mina most of the time. And it’s weird that there’s something with this one that feels different from the rest. Maybe it’s because of the idiotic pet name that used to make her eyes squint in cringe. But now, they’re making her eyes crinkle in joy. Or maybe, it’s just because those words came from Yoongi.

Feeling Mina turn to look her way, Y/N stands up straight and hides her phone in her pants pocket. Her bestfriend gives her a weird look. Y/N smiles back and shrugs.

The train eventually stops in Rockfort Station and Mina bids Y/N goodbye.

“Good luck in the shoot, girl. Tell me if Myungsoo starts something up again and I’ll beat him for you.”

“I got it, don’t worry.” Y/N assures her friend and nudges her to the door with a laugh, “Take care!”

Mina chuckles and waves for one last time and soon, the doors are closing again and Y/N’s alone. Y/N sighs. The reminder of Myungsoo settled heavy in the pit of her stomach. She guesses this early adrenaline rush is just preparing her for what’s about to come.

Y/N’s not given more time to mull over it though as the next 30 minutes becomes a blur of crowds piling on the streets, fitting inside buses canned-sardines style, and a mess of cameras and other paraphernalia. Next thing Y/N knows, she’s helping Amy and the rest of the cover page staff arrange the tables for their set.

The photoshoot is set in Downtown Abbey, a commercial street between Main Street and Parkridge. However, it looks more like an alleyway stretched wide if it weren’t for the numerous colorful dating sites that pepper its sidewalks. There’s a 90s-inspired arcade, a pastel-themed salon, and even an antique-looking comic book shop.

Right now, the Travel Loca team is in the main set for their cover page—Dine n’ Dance, a retro diner that’s reminiscent of the colorful era of 70s diners. This is Y/N’s first time being immersed in a photoshoot without Nancy keeping her on the sidelines and Y/N feels like a child exploring a new playground. The experience would have been much better though if Myungsoo wasn’t giving her a steely glare across the room.

As much as Y/N is thankful for the adrenaline rush that has propelled her to keep on her feet, she would have preferred if time could’ve slowed down a bit and let her prepare herself first. If the train got delayed a little bit, if the bus she rode on got stuck in traffic for 10 minutes at most, or maybe if Myungsoo didn’t come to the set on time, then Y/N could had at least more time to give herself a pep talk. But alas, she’s already here and Myungsoo is now striding towards her.

“Why are you here?”

Y/N takes a step back from the table and clasps her hands behind her back, “Uh…Ms. Nancy told me to be here. She wants me to, uh, monitor the photoshoot.”

Myungsoo raises a brow but doesn’t say anything. He turns around and goes past her to talk with another employee. Y/N leans her hip against the table and heaves an inaudible sigh. This day is going to be harder than she thought.

It’s good that Y/N settled for a pessimistic mindset early on because it prepared her for the worst scenarios that actually happened. For one, the owner of Dine n’ Dance decided it was a good idea to announce Song, Risa and Park, Chanyeol are shooting inside his establishment. Because of that, Travel Loca had to finish their shoot way faster than planned before the crowd outside starts to pile inside and intervene with their work. It didn’t help that the earlier commotion has caused another crowd to follow them in their next set, a vintage-inspired trinket-making shop. The only silver-lining Travel Loca had was the sudden downpour around eleven o’clock. It quickly dispersed the crowd following them. But that wasn’t much of a good news as the final set is supposed to be at an open-field food truck park. The clouds are indigo-dark, the raindrops are pounding heavy, and everyone’s clothes are soaked at the ends. The current situation of their last set is a 180 of the warm, trip-down-memory-lane theme the cover page team has planned.

Travel Loca’s staff along with Risa’s and Chanyeol’s agencies’ own are spread across the tables of Books & Coffee, an old library-looking cafe they sought shelter in. The two models are busy drying their clothes in the comfort rooms with their assistants. Y/N decides it’s time to push the emergency button and finally seek Nancy’s help. But even that becomes impossible when the dial tone is all she could hear on the other side.

Y/N starts to draft a text message when Myungsoo faces the employees and calls for their attention. “Okay. We have a bit of a situation here. I know we’re supposed to have the final shoot at the park and the rain is not really helping us. But I think if we could wait it out, we could start again.”

Hushed whispers go around the table. A woman in her early thirties raises her hand. Y/N looks at her and recognizes she’s Hana Jang, Risa’s manager. “I’m afraid we couldn’t do that, Mr. Kim,” Ms. Jang says. “We’ve been waiting for the rain to stop for 30 minutes now and it sure doesn’t look like stopping anytime soon. Ms. Risa Song is scheduled in another photoshoot two hours from now. We couldn’t wait for long.”

“That’s right,” a voice seconds and Y/N turns around to see it’s Chanyeol’s own manager, Sungwon Choi. “Chanyeol is supposed to attend a meeting with Tommy Hilfiger at one o’clock. We can’t risk being late to that when Mr. Park was just chosen to be their global ambassador.”

“Yes, I understand,” Myungsoo says. “But we couldn’t just ditch this photoshoot when we spent weeks planning this. Our company is not yet even done getting what we paid for from you guys.”

Silence immediately befalls among the room. Everyone glances at one another. No one dares to speak up in fear of adding fuel to the thickening tension.

Someone clears their throat and stands up. It’s Mr. Choi and he doesn’t look pleased. “Look, Mr. Kim, I think it’s not fair for you to say that when the models have already done their jobs—”

“You can’t say it’s done when we’re still missing the last set,” Myungsoo bites back.

“Well, it’s not our fault the rain happened,” Ms. Jang counters this time.

But Myungsoo’s far from resting his case as he sputters, “Well this wouldn’t have happened if you pushed the schedule earlier than planned.”

“H-how could you say that, Mr. Kim? I thought we already agreed upon this yesterday. Ms. Risa even called and apologized!”

“Well, do we have a choice?”

“Sir Myungsoo, I think that’s enough.”

“Uh, please calm down.”

“No, I’m not yet done.”

Amidst the commotion that’s currently unfolding in the cafe, Y/N is shaken from her frozen position in her chair when her phone vibrates in her palm.

Ms. Nancy: I think we shouldn’t try to break away from our theme. I already had our designers coordinate their palettes with the theme. At the same time, I don’t want to have an incomplete collection. I don’t want to lose an article for Downtown Abbey when we’re exactly on our quota. Since the foodtruck park is not the one that will be featured in the cover page, it’s alright to ditch it and improvise for another set. I just want to still have 12 stories for our February issue.

Also, I��m currently in a place with bad reception. I had to stop an important meeting with my lawyer just to go outside the building and send this message. That being said, I don’t think I will be able to entertain the specifics right now. So please be guided with these reminders and decide what you think is best. You’ve been with me long enough to know what I like. (11:35 A.M.)

Y/N’s jaw falls. What she thinks is best? What made Nancy think she knows an inkling of what she would prefer for one of the pictures for their feature articles—

Ms. Nancy: I trust you, Y/N. (11:36 A.M.)

Y/N gnaws on her lip. She looks up at the people around her. Myungsoo’s face is marred with annoyance as he tries to push his idea. Risa and Chanyeol’s managers are equally frustrated. The café’s staff and some of Y/N’s co-workers are distressed in trying to placate the growing fight. From the corner of her eye, Y/N sees the models have already come back to the main area. It seems like they heard what everyone’s been fighting over from the grimace evident on their faces. Everyone is getting riled up as the disagreement starts to get infused with personal attachments. Can she really do this? Y/N doesn’t think she can—

“Y/N. Who’s the first to call out Jennie Kim in a meeting involving our entire batch?”

“I—What?”

“Y/N, who’s the first student that called out Jennie Kim in front of our batch?”

“W-why are you bringing that up, Yoongi? I don’t get it—”

“Y/N, just answer me. Who’s the one who called out Jennie Kim about the inter-section dance competition?”

“Me.”

“Right. And who’s the brave one who removed her name and her equally shitty friends, Dowon and Nayeon, from group projects they didn’t put any work in?”

“…Me.”

“Right, you did. You stood up when you sensed bullshit. You stood your ground and fought for what you believe is the right thing to do. You never let any of them step on you and take credit for things they didn’t deserve. You did all of those things, Y/N.”

Mean Yoongi >:( : You can do this, cutie peachy pie! (6:34 A.M.)

Yoongi said she can do this. He trusts in her and this trust isn’t earned just because it’s hinged on a new-found friendship. It’s through a true testament of the things she did. Things she worked hard on to do. Y/N clenches her hand. If she can do all of those difficult things in the name of setting things right, how different is doing the same for this one?

Y/N raises her hand and stands up. All eyes shift toward her.

“Y/N?” Myungsoo says, disdain dripping in his tone. “Why are you standing up? You don’t have a say on this.”

Y/N looks at Myungsoo, “But I do have a say. I-I—"

“No, you don’t. You’re just the CEO’s P.A. I and my team are the ones in charge of this. So sit back down and mind your own business.”

“But this is my business as well,” Y/N darts her eyes straight at Myungsoo’s, shutting the latter up. Y/N feels her hand shake and she shoves them behind her back. “T-This is my work, too. Not just yours or anybody else in this room.” Y/N takes a step forward, “You said it, yourself. I’m Nancy’s P.A. And in case you forgot, I serve as her communication way with you and the rest of the employees while she’s away.” Y/N walks to the spot next to Myungsoo and turns around to face the rest of their co-workers. “And I am here to announce Ms. Nancy has entrusted me to decide in her stead with the guide she’s given me.”

Everyone sits back in their seats, looking at Y/N in silence. Even Myungsoo has decided to hold off his tongue and listen to what she has to say.

Y/N feels a nervous sweat run down her back, her right leg starting to jitter under her. She blinks and tries to gulp down the block of anxiety forming in her throat. “M-Ms. Nancy said she doesn’t want to lose a set when we already have our writers reach the quota number for Downtown Abbey—”

“Ha, I told you so!—”

“But she wouldn’t want to break the theme as well and inconvenience everyone just to push a one-sided goal,” Y/N pins Myungsoo with an unamused look. Y/N looks back at the crowd, “And so, I think we should shoot in this cafe instead.”

“What?”

Every single person looks at her as if she’s grown another head next to her neck. Even the cashiers of the cafe stop in their work to look at her flabbergasted.

Y/N interlocks her shaking hands behind her and forces a smiles. “Okay, that does sound like a shocker, right? But I think Books & Coffee is actually well put-together. They have overhead lamps that look like sailing boats. The layered shelves that go around the perimeter of the ceiling contain beautiful indoor plants. And the walls are lined up with faux mahogany wood with some open partitions containing books. This interior design almost looks like an old library of some palace.”

Y/N walks toward the large glass windows that face the park. “The cafe only has these windows that make for its modern touch-up. But it shows a perfect view of the food truck park. Any ongoing event is visible from here and sure can serve additional entertainment for the customers.” Y/N points to another large window on the left side of the room, “This window also lets you see the ornamental garden attraction at the left end of the park.” Y/N points to the right window, “And this one lets you see the very spot where buskers stop to play.”

Y/N looks back at everyone. “Standing in this cafe, anyone can see all the greatest attractions of this street that’s also visible to anyone in the food truck park. So, our writers wouldn’t have to change their articles so much in terms of describing the date site’s surrounding attractions. There will be major changes about the site’s setting itself and the services it offers. But we can still save some that refers to the location.”

Y/N looks at one of the cashiers she remembers is called Dave,.“Dave, can you pull down the blinds to see if we can cover the setting outside?”

“Oh, um, yes, sure.” Dave leaves his station and scurries around the room, pulling down the blinds on all windows. The cafe automatically gets blanketed in the warm, orange light of the boat lamps. The dark, stormy atmosphere from outside is now invisible. Y/N grins, “Now this emanates the same feel of the vintage trinket-making shop. Warm, cozy, and…old.” Y/N flushes, “Not in a bad way though! Old in a good way! Vintage!” Y/N internally cringes at her choice of words but that’s the only one left in her head. She clasps her hands together and tries to go back to her earlier tone. “So, if we shoot in this cafe, not only we can keep some chunks of our articles, but also keep our theme constant.” Y/N then looks at the models’ staffs, “And we can still finish the shoot on time, just like planned.”

Everybody stays still for a minute but it isn’t long until Y/N sees many start to nod in agreement.

“Yeah, I agree with that,” Risa raises her hand. “This place is worth to be featured as well. I remember seeing the food truck park already featured by social media influencers three months ago. But I don’t recall this one getting featured yet.” The model turns to the cashier, “No one came here to feature Books & Coffee before, right?”

“That’s right,” A woman in a blue floral dress affirms. “Oh hi, I’m Aly Jean. I’m the owner of the café.” Y/N looks at her and immediately notices the fresh wet drops clinging on her long hair. Aly must have realized the curious looks directed at her so she stands up straight and smiles. “I’m sorry for only showing up now. I was outside buying materials to stock up. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind if your company would like to have a photoshoot in my cafe right now. As you can see, I have no customers but you,” the woman chuckles.

“I think that will be great,” Amy agrees, standing up to look at Myungsoo, “What do you think, sir?”

Myungsoo glares at Y/N but eventually nods in agreement.

As the staff of Travel Loca start to fix their things for their shooting set-up, Myungsoo walks to Y/N and ushers her to a secluded corner in the cafe.

“Just so you know, I’m agreeing to this only because Nancy entrusted you with the final decision. If Nancy ends up unimpressed with this, this is on you. Not on me, understood?”

“Of course,” Y/N says, voice firm.

Myungsoo scoffs as he turns back around. But what he says under his breath doesn’t go past Y/N’s ears.

“Bet you already told Nancy what happened like the yapping puppy you are just to make yourself look good.”

Y/N grabs Myungsoo’s arm and turns him around to face her. “Just so you know, I didn’t tell the unnecessary fight you caused to Nancy because I am sure you would have gotten fired by this second. But I understand you must just be tired and stressed that’s why you blew up. And I also respect you enough to recognize your skills and expertise are perfect for this job. And so, I didn’t tell Nancy this mess you started.” Y/N steps forward and looks Myungsoo in the eye, “Unlike you, I’m not petty and I know how to not create unnecessary drama and just take responsibility for my actions.”

Y/N takes a step back and looks at Myungsoo’s shocked face. That’s good, she thinks as she excuses herself to rush back to the set.

The rest of the shoot passes smoothly. Travel Loca took impressive shots with the help of Aly and her employees. After Y/N’s encounter with Myungsoo, the man didn’t pay her mind and just did his job in directing his team. He still proved to be stubborn though as he didn’t budge when Y/N reminded him to apologize to the models and their staff. Y/N has no choice but to take the task upon herself just to end their work on a more peaceful note. She’s just thankful Risa’s and Chanyeol’s manager and staff were forgiving and understood the situation.

The exhaustion from the day only settles on Y/N’s shoulders as she takes a seat on the train headed to Rockfort. Looking back at the past hour, Y/N was running in pure adrenaline with how fast and light she moved around to help her co-workers make the best out of her proposed solution. The jitters in her leg come back when she thinks about it.

Sure, Y/N thinks she proved to her co-workers she’s also an indispensable team player. And she’s never felt more confident in herself when the pictures turned out great. Y/N even emailed them to Nancy without any hesitation. But looking at her silent phone for the past 30 minutes, Y/N thinks it might have slipped her mind that she’s not exactly out of thin ice yet. With the absence of any reply from her boss dragging on for the longest time ever, Y/N starts to doubt if she did the right decision. Maybe Nancy’s drafting a long message of how she just ruined their issue. Y/N burries her face in her hands. She said to Myungsoo she can take responsibility of her decisions but now, she isn’t so sure. Oh god, she’ll eat her own words for sure—

Her phone vibrates in her pocket. Y/N scrambles to pull it out and unlock it.

Ms. Nancy: The pictures are great. This actually turned out better than I predicted. To be honest, I’ve never seen this kind of café before. It looks heavenly just like you said. I’ll contact our writers to visit the site and help them change the food truck park articles to this café. (12:30 P.M.)

Ms. Nancy: Thank you, Y/N. I’m glad you’re back to your usual best. (12:30 P.M.)

Y/N’s eyes grow wide in disbelief. Did Nancy just praise her? She must be dreaming. Y/N scrolls up her screen to refresh the email but it just shows the same message. This must be real then. Y/N’s jaw slowly falls open. Does this mean she did a great job? Y/N looks back at the message. Oh my god, she just saved a photoshoot from going downhill! And it even met Nancy’s standards!

Y/N squeals in her hand but immediately freezes. Strangers and some of her co-workers that got in the same car as her are looking at her weird. Oh right, she’s still in the train. Y/N composes herself. She sends the screenshot of Nancy’s first email to her co-workers and congratulates everyone. She immediately receives ‘thank you’s’ and ‘nice working with you’s’ from the staff. Y/N leans her head on the pole beside her with a satisfied smile. She can’t wait to tell Yoongi all of this.

When Y/N reaches Rockfort Place, she rushes to their building’s lift and presses the 12th floor. It didn’t cross her mind that she probably left some of her co-workers behind. Only one thought is going in her head: she’s going to tell Yoongi her success and then, she’ll treat him out to lunch. Their lunchbreak is just about to start in five. She’ll be able to reach him before he goes out for lunch.

�� Stepping into Travel Loca’s main hall, Y/N starts to make her way towards the Creatives’ office. Only to stop short.

Yoongi is leaning over the cubicle next to Y/N’s previous one with a smile on his face. He’s got his arms folded on top of the cubicle to prop up his jaw as he smiles widely at the business adviser, Jeon, Soyeon. Y/N takes a staggering step back. Of course, how could she forget? Yoongi likes Soyeon. It’s evident when Y/N sees his ears tinge in pink as Soyeon laughs at what he said.

Mina already told Y/N about this before her very first date with Yoongi. Y/N even brought it up, herself, in their past dates. But it doesn’t prepare her to the way her stomach falls when Yoongi leans further towards Soyeon to whisper something by her ear. Y/N feels the hot sting of her tears prick on her eyelids when Yoongi flashes a fond smile at Soyeon.

Y/N feels hurt pang in her heart. She knows that smile he just gave Soyeon. It’s the same look Yoongi gave to her when they slow-danced in the bistro, when they exchanged stupid texts across the office, when he sought comfort next to her when they watched a horror movie. And when Y/N opened up her insecurities to him yesterday, her hands warm in his own. But now, Y/N realizes they must be just misconstrued implications by her heart because she became too selfish. She just acknowledged what she wanted to see. She ignored the signs when they have always been there. How Yoongi flushes at the mention of Soyeon’s name. How he stutters in his words in denying his feelings for the girl. Y/N has never even made Yoongi's ears redden at the slightest in the times she tried to let her heart speak for her. He only does so when Y/N teases him about Soyeon. And now as Soyeon's hand lingers on his arm when she smiles at his grinning face. It's always been obvious. Yoongi likes Soyeon.

Y/N already knows this but she cannot disregard the flaming pain that wedges deep in her chest. It’s ridiculous she’s even feeling this way because there was never something between her and Yoongi. All they ever had was an agreement and all Yoongi ever did was be a good friend to her. She’s the only one who got too selfish and misunderstood everything just so she can make herself feel good about the things she’s feeling. Things Yoongi unknowingly caused in her heart that Y/N knows he will never accept. Because Yoongi already likes someone else. Someone who’s not her.

So before Yoongi could sense her presence, Y/N dashes to the side of the hall and into the quiet confines of the break room. She can’t let him see how vulnerable she has become because of him. She already hates herself enough for entertaining this feeling and letting it fester this long. Y/N knows she’s the one who brought this upon herself. There’s no one else to blame but her. And because of that, there’s no other person who can fix this but herself. Y/N blinks back her tears. She must stop feeling this way before it could become strong enough to hurt her. Before Yoongi could hurt her. Because Y/N knows she shouldn’t be feeling anything real for Yoongi when all of this is supposed to be an act.

Y/N should know better. She already knew what happened when she let herself give in to her heart.

“God, you’re nagging me again, Y/N. Why are you always like this?”

“Oh, Y/N. She’s, um, she’s just a friend.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean anything.”

“Cut all this shit short and just forgive me already. We know you’re gonna take me back in the end. You always do.”

“No one else will love you anyway but me. For one, you’re hard to deal with. I wouldn’t have cheated on you if you took care of my needs better.”

“You’re a difficult person, Y/N. No one wants that. I’m only with you because I have no choice.”

A tear slips down her cheeks and Y/N frantically uses her sleeves to wipe them away.

“There you go again. Crying. Aren’t you getting tired of it?”

Y/N shakes her head. She can’t remember him now. She can’t—

Her phone vibrates in her pocket. With shaking hands, Y/N opens it.

Mean Yoongi >:( : Hey, sweetheart. I just saw the cover page team at the main hall. Where are you? (1:10 P.M.)

Y/N’s chest tightens. Sweetheart. Is that pet name really for her or was it just part of Yoongi’s act too?

Y/N: I went home. I’m not feeling good today (1:11 P.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:( : Why? Did something happen with Myungsoo? (1:11 P.M.)

Y/N: No. It’s not because of him (1:11 P.M.)

Y/N: I just feel tired. I want to just rest for the day (1:11 P.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:( : Okay, then. Rest well, sweetheart. (1:11 P.M.)

Mean Yoongi >:( : Don’t worry about our date. We can just postpone it for tomorrow. We still have 4 days left before the interview (1:12 P.M.)

Right. The interview. Y/N closes her phone with a staggered breath. It has always been for the interview. Everything has always been supposed to be an act. Why would Yoongi even say such endearing words to her when all she’s ever done before this agreement is pick fights with him? All she did is insult him and made him feel like shit. Unlike her, Soyeon is kind and doesn’t bother anyone. Unlike her, Soyeon is mature and knows how to handle her job well without anyone’s help. Unlike her….Soyeon is not a difficult person to deal with.

“You’re a difficult person, Y/N. No one wants that. I’m only with you because I have no choice.”

Tears brim in Y/N’s eyes and she muffles a sob with a clenched hand.

You’ve been too selfish, Y/N.

DAY 11 – February 5; Wednesday

Consistencies are one hell of a contradiction. The familiarity in them provides people security with the knowledge of how things will go and end. After all, what humans really fear is the unknown. But, consistencies can also be cruel. With the security it has, the familiarity of the predictable inevitable can also be constricting, suffocating. Like a prison. Y/N feels this way as she keeps her eyes on her computer, trying to ignore Yoongi’s heavy stare on her.

The whole day at work has started and gone just like usual. Y/N follows Nancy’s instructions for the day and after that, she helps the Creatives with their leftover work. And just like usual, Yoongi is looking at her with that questioning look in his eyes.

Feeling Yoongi’s stare on her has always been a consistency in Y/N’s life. Yoongi has always stared at her to annoy her or say something stupid and Y/N has always stared back in retaliation. She’s been accustomed to how she’ll fixate her mocking look at him, how she’ll end this small interaction with a challenging smirk or a teasing smile. But today, Y/N feels stuck. She couldn’t look at Yoongi’s face without feeling the iron-ball weight of guilt and hurt digging in her chest. She couldn’t look at him without easily giving away what she’s feeling for him. Especially when lunch came and Yoongi walked past her cubicle to go outside and hover her cubicle. Soyeon’s cubicle.

Y/N could only look from afar at how the man she’s become fond of get flustered talking in front of another girl. Y/N gulps down the heaviness blocking her throat and tears her eyes off them. She feels ashamed of herself. She shouldn’t feel anger at two people who haven’t done her any wrong. Moreover, she shouldn’t entertain te thought of walking up to them and telling them to stop. Sure, she and Yoongi are putting up a ruse. But that shouldn’t forbid the man from interacting with the girl he likes. It’s not like talking with Soyeon would sabotage their plan when everyone in the office is already roped in in their fake relationship.

Y/N bites her lips. She should start to learn accepting she’s nothing more but a coworker to Yoongi. It has always been a consistent fact that wouldn’t change anytime soon.

And so, Y/N decides to keep her lips shut and avoid Yoongi for the entire day. It’s the only way she could keep herself from being weak in front of the man. Even if Mina’s questions about what’s happening with her and Yoongi makes Y/N’s chest crumple in pain. Even if the mention of Yoongi’s name from Ms. Teddy’s inquiries of what happened in yesterday’s photoshoot makes Y/N taste bitterness in her tongue. Even if Jeff and Sojoon’s teasing remarks makes Y/N fake a smile in pathetic desperation. All of them are better than looking at Yoongi and get reminded in the face again that everything that happened is just a ploy to get that goddamn Valentines benefit.

But even ignoring Yoongi is too much to ask for when the day ends and Dana, Jeff, and Seojoon are standing by Y/N’s desk. The mirth in their eyes familiar from the day they got to rope her and Yoongi to lunch with them.

“Are you free tonight, Y/N?”

Y/N looks up at Dana. “For what?”

“Movies,” Dana grins. She then turns around and rolls her eyes at her two friends. “Seojoon and Jeff decided to be clingy and postpone our movie night yesterday since you and Yoongi are unavailable.”

“Well, we just thought it would be more fun if we got Y/N and Yoongi to join us,” Seojoon huffs.

“Yeah, nothing is more fun than co-workers enjoying discounts together,” Jeff grins.

Y/N squints, “Well, um—”

“Yoongi is free now,” Jeff turns around. “Right, Yoongi?”

“Yeah, I’m free today.”

Y/N stills and looks up from her desk. Yoongi is standing in front of her, looking at her with an…indecipherable look in his eyes. Y/N immediately darts her eyes away from him.

“Right,” Dana turns to Y/N excitedly. “So, Y/N, come join us tonight! The movies lined up for tonight is fantastic. It will be a waste not to come see them. The tickets are 40 percent off!”

Y/N sighs. She doesn’t have much believable reason to deny the invitation. Not when Yoongi’s friends inviting her over their hangouts has become a consistency, too.

“Okay, I’ll join you guys.”

Y/N should have thought twice about her decision before she agreed.

Cinema 84 is a small-company movie house in Valley Heights, two train stations from Rockfort. It is known for producing well-done original films. Because of this and the fact it’s their anniversary week today, to say the movie house is packed is an underwhelming statement. All sorts of people pile inside the theater. Students, families, elderlies, people fresh from work. And of course, couples. Annoying couples. One of them is the high school couple sitting by Y/N’s right. They kept giggling and play-fighting with each other, unaware they’re pushing Y/N too close to the person on her left. Yoongi.

Y/N finds herself stuck in a cramped seat between insensitive movie watchers and the man she doesn’t want to see for tonight. Much worse, with a cheesy romcom about lovers finding each other again is playing on the big screen.

With her elbow and leg flushed against Yoongi’s, Y/N feels her chest is about to implode. All she wanted to do right now is stay away from him as far as possible. And yet here she is, stuck by his side, her chest and stomach, a mess of pressing pain, guilt, and butterflies. Yoongi’s hand moves next to hers and as if on instinct, Y/N retreats her hand away from him.

Hurt and pride settle heavy on her chest. For once, Y/N’s happy she’s starting to get a grip on herself. But as she sees Yoongi’s hand fall awkwardly by his side, Y/N can’t help but feel the pain streak its way into her heart. Y/N hates this. She hates feeling so conflicted. She hates longing for something she knows she shouldn’t long for. Things she wants but knows she couldn’t have. Because all of this is just for an act and here she is, still unawarely longing for something so absurd.

Y/N gulps down the constriction she’s feeling in her throat. But it doesn’t do anything. She still feels like she’s gonna throw up.

She can’t take it anymore.

Y/N stands up. Before Yoongi could give her a questioning look, Y/N has already turned around and started making her way outside the theater.

Y/N leans on the wall and breathes out a huge sigh. She presses her eyes close and shakes her head. She has to start controlling her reactions from now on if she wants to leave unscathed from this deal. There’s nothing but humiliation waiting at her end if Yoongi will find out. And Y/N can’t have that.

Y/N stands up straight and smoothens her blazer and pants.

“Y/N?”

Y/N stills. No, it can’t be. Y/N turns and her eyes fall on the man who’s standing a meter away from her, equally shocked like her. Y/N freezes. No, no, no. Life can’t just do this to her. Not now. Not ever.

The man takes a step toward her, “O-oh, it’s really you, Y/N.”

Y/N instinctively takes a step back. The familiarity of this action makes her esophagus close up in disgust. The man’s eyes catch her movement and his forehead furrows, a small frown marring his face. Y/N gulps. Nothing actually changed from him since three years ago. Lei Jung is still the same.

Lei looked like this the first time Y/N saw him in the corridors of their high school—when she tripped on the steps of the stairs and he came in, catching the pile of folders she was holding before the papers it held could fly to the floor. He wore the same expression when Y/N found him sitting in the farthest seat of their school service the next day. He looked the same whenever Y/N would visit his classroom’s floor just to take a glimpse on him.

“Just a little peek won’t hurt,” Y/N remembers telling herself as she hid behind the post, her heart thrumming from seeing Lei again. She didn’t know her heart will throb more than that as she jolts in surprise when Lei turns around to give her a small smile and a friendly wave. Y/N didn’t know she’ll get to feel the giddiness the lead characters in shoujo animes felt as Lei befriends her the following day and the weeks that came after.

Just a little peak won’t hurt, Y/N thinks to herself as she looks up from her seat and onto the boy beside her. He’s animatedly telling her something about the new show he’s recently watching but not a word passes her ears when Y/N feels her chest go into overdrive as his hand brushes over hers and intertwines them together.

But all of Y/N’s hopes come crushing when she learns from a social butterfly friend that Y/N is but a mere stepping stone for Lei to pursue her friend, Yuri. And Y/N got to prove this was true when her classmates feasted on how Yuri awkwardly dumped a senior in their JS prom. However, this wasn’t enough to deter Y/N’s heart when five years have passed and she sees Lei again in the café she part-timed.

“This time he must have changed,” Y/N tells herself as Lei approached her and sincerely apologized for what happened back in high school. Y/N thinks she must be right this time as Lei rekindled their friendship and started caring for her the way the high school her has dreamed for so long. And Y/N knew she was right when a little after two years, Lei and her officially became a couple. Y/N learned what it’s like to feel happiness like never before when a little after Lei’s confession, she got accepted in J&M News, a prestigious company she has worked for so long with Lei’s help and support.

Y/N finally proved what she said in her contemporary speech as she starts to feel like a child again, easily finding happiness in the little things that surrounded her—the small love letters Lei leaves on their refrigerator, the quiet nights she spent cuddled in Lei’s embrace, the way she easily feels comfort from the chaos of life just by looking at Lei’s eyes and soft smile.

“Just a little peak won’t hurt,” Y/N finds telling herself again as she looks at Lei’s back turned towards her as he cooks their breakfast. He turns around and winks at her and Y/N flushes, instantly raising her mug in a poor attempt to hide the embarrassment on her face.

Just a little peak won’t hurt, Y/N thinks to herself as she hides behind the wall of Lei’s office, eyes peering in to see the wide smile on Lei’s face as he opens her anniversary gift for him: a silver necklace with a small apple pendant, reminiscent of Lei’s favorite anime.

Just a little peak won’t hurt, Y/N giggles looking at Lei’s anxious face as he kneels before her, a silver ring in hand. His relieved sigh when she says “yes” was loud in Y/N’s ears. But it easily falls short to the loud beating of her heart as Lei hugs her tight and Y/N feels Lei’s heartbeats match with hers.

But childhoods always come to an end. This makeshift reclaimed childhood is no different as it disintegrates before Y/N’s eyes when she goes home early one Friday night. Just a little peak won’t hurt, she smiles to herself as she pushes the door to their bedroom open, expecting to see Lei calmly reading on his side of the bed. Y/N’s smile immediately falls when she finds Lei fucking a naked woman on their bed. Lei’s apple pendant dangling on another woman’s neck.

“Lei, who is she?”

Y/N blinks. Her eyes dart to the woman who walks next to Lei, drinks in hand.

“Oh, um, she’s Y/N,” Lei answers, awkwardly glancing at Y/N then back at the woman by his arm. “Uh, she’s my friend.”

“Y/N, she’s, um, she’s just a friend.”

Y/N clenches her teeth. “Actually, I’m his ex-girlfriend.”

Lei looks at Y/N, eyes wide.

“Oh,” the woman awkwardly chuckles. She steps forward and reaches out a hand, “I’m Minyoung. Lei’s um…girlfriend.”

“ Fiancée .” Lei corrects her, eyes focused on Y/N.

“Oh, right,” Minyoung bites her lip. She raises her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and Y/N immediately recognizes the familiar glint of the silver band adorning her finger.

Y/N feels sour disgust line the back of her mouth. She didn’t know Lei will get to have a partner who has the same ring size as her. Much less be so low as to give his partner the same ring he proposed to his ex. Did he think lightly of the ring she left or did he do it on purpose? Y/N looks briefly at Lei. He holds her gaze in his, pressing his lips together before curving them into a small smile. A smile of pity.

Y/N’s nails dig into her palms. How dare he look at her like that? How dare he pity her when all of this is his fault? Anger wells in her chest and her eyelids prick with the familiar heat of disdain. Y/N blinks them back. She’s cried too many times in front of Lei. She can’t have him see another one.

“There you go again. Crying. Aren’t you getting tired of it? It’s getting annoying.”

Y/N blinks again. She looks up at Lei and Minyoung and forces a smile. “Well, um, uh, congratulations, then. I have a movie to catch up to so I’ll be going now. Goodbye.”

Y/N turns around and hurries back to the theater. When she reaches her seat, she finally lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Y/N feels Yoongi’s eyes settle on her but Y/N ignores it, directing her eyes to the movie that’s playing.

The handsy couple resumes their publicly disturbing PDA, pushing Y/N against Yoongi again.

But this time, Y/N can’t feel anything but the heavy anchor of fatigue weighing on her body.

“Did Jiwon leave a text?” Seojoon reaches out to grab Jeff’s cellphone.

The latter moves away from him, sending him an unamused look. He glances at his cellphone then back at his friend. “Yeah, she said she’ll wait for you to come home.”

“Oh, thank god,” Seojoon slumps his head on the table in relief.

“You should be thanking me too, you know?” Jeff eyes him. “I also endured your annoying ass constantly bugging me.”

“Yeah,” Dana chuckles. “Why the hell did you not charge your phone when you know we’re going out tonight? There are so many outlets in the office to choose from. I bring all my uncharged devices to the office and there’s still lots of sockets left. They even charge so fast, I don’t have to worry about spiking my own electricity!”

“Ehem, Dana, I’m here you know? You just confessed you’re using the company’s utilities for personal use.”

The three looks at Yoongi and break into a guffaw. Yoongi’s brows meet together. “Hey, what’s so funny about that?”

“It’s you that’s why it’s funny,” Dana wheezes.

“Yeah. ‘Confessed?’” Seojoon slaps his leg, laughing. “Stop putting up your strict image at work when we’re outside. It doesn’t fit you. At all.”

“You don’t have to tire yourself pretending you’re so sane when we’ve already seen the shithead in you,” Jeff chuckles. “After all, shithead you is way funnier. Right, Y/N?”

“Huh?” Y/N looks up from the table to see Jeff’s expectant face.

Jeff waggles his brows and points at the man beside her with his pouted lips. “Shithead Yoongi is funnier than office Yoongi, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Y/N awkwardly chuckles. Seojoon and Jeff claps their hands together and Y/N looks back down at the chicken meal in front of her. They’re currently in the fastfood restaurant next to Cinema 84. It’s been five hours since Y/N last ate and yet, she doesn’t feel hungry. Still, Y/N pushes her fork around and takes a bite. It distracts her from looking at Yoongi. Y/N just wants to go home and end the day.

Unfortunately, Dana, Seojoon, and Jeff doesn’t think the same and urges to prolong their night by engaging in some late-night Q and A after dinner.

“So…cockroaches or wasps?”

“Could you come up with at least a choose-able option?” Seojoon squints at Jeff and Dana laughs.

“Okay, then,” Jeff hums as if deep in thought until his eyes dart to Dana. “Oh, how are you and Sean these past days?”

“Why suddenly ask about relationships—”

“It’s alright,” Dana casually waves off Seojoon. “I haven’t updated you guys in a while so it’s not uncalled for. Sean’s…bearable. These days. Just need to endure more of him and his shitty ass until the Heart Holiday starts. He said he’s gonna move out.”

Y/N raises her head and looks at Dana.

Jeff catches her movement and raises his hands. “Oh right, Y/N doesn’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel out of place.”

“No, no, no, it’s okay,” Y/N frantically waves her hands in dismissal. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear anything. You guys can continue—"

“No, it’s okay,” Dana smiles. “I trust Y/N.” She faces Y/N, “Well, you heard it right. I’m just letting the Valentines’ week start before Sean and I officially break up. It’s been a while since I last felt anything for him. Well, five months to be exact. I really thought he could be the one for me when I met him a year ago. He seemed so interested and open-minded about the shits I say. Turns out he didn’t actually like it and just dated me because he needs someone decent-looking to marry.”

Y/N’s eyes grow wide.

Dana sighs, “He was so down to marry. When we got together, he immediately told me he’s ready to settle down. I didn’t think too much about it because maybe it’s just his way of telling me he’s a commitment type of guy. I thought it was the case because he didn’t bring it up again. Not until his brother got married ‘bout six months ago. Sean told me he also wanna marry this year. I thought it was just the pressure talking because, you know, subtle sibling rivalry in the family. So, I decided to say what’s been on a mind for a while. I told him I needed more time. And you know what he said?” Dana leans forward, “He said he’s wasting his time on me. Next day, he fucked another girl. I figure he’s serious, then.”

Y/N looks down, her grip on her glass tightening. She could feel her throat close up again, the heavy weight on her chest starting to dig down her stomach.

“But don’t worry about that,” Dana shrugs, picking up her drink. “I’m over him. He’s over me. He got to enjoy having a “marry-able” partner for a while. I got to have the Heart Holiday benefit last year because of him. And I will get to enjoy it again this year. He’s cool with our agreement to wait out the Heart Holiday before we break things off. After all, it would be a waste to throw out such benefit when Valentine’s is just around the corner.”

Seojoon slowly nods. Dana smiles and picks up her drink, “That’s all about me. Now, let’s get to the next question.”

“Right, next topic,” Seojoon says this time, clapping his hands. “What do you think of the film we watched?”

“Who are you asking in particular?” Jeff asks.

“Everyone. Actually no, I’d like to hear Yo—"

“It is AMAZING!” Jeff slams a hand on the table. “I love the chemistry between the main leads and the cinematography and—”

“Yeah, yeah, Jeff, we know you like Definitely You. You’re the one who picked this movie,” Seojoon rolls his eyes. Jeff pouts. The table shakes beneath them.

Seojoon crouches down and rubs his shin. “Ow, man, what the hell?”

“That’s what you get for being mean.”

“I’m not being mean!”

“And for overreacting. My kick isn’t that hard.”

“How could you say that? You’re not the one who got kicked!”

“Okay, stop you clowns,” Dana intervenes. “You’re already embarrassing on your own. Don’t embarrass us three too.” The two instantly stop their antics. Seojoon fixes himself and Jeff crosses his arms, keeping a straight face on. Though it isn’t long before the straight line of his lips wiggles and Jeff breaks out in a guffaw which incites Seojoon to follow after.

When Dana gives them the glare, Seojoon starts really composing himself. “Okay, I’m serious now.” He looks across the table, looking at Y/N, then at the man beside her. “Yoongi, what do you think of the film we watched?”

“Me?”

Y/N looks at her left and spares the man a glance. Yoongi is sitting an inch away from her, brows raised high in mixed confusion and surprise. Yoongi must have felt her looking at him because he darts his eyes toward Y/N’s, meeting them for the second time of the day. Y/N purses her lips and turns back to her interlocked hands.

“Yes, you,” Seojoon nods. “You’ve been silent for a while. I wanna hear your voice. I’m getting tired of Jeff’s—”

“Hey!—”

“Shut up, Jeff.” Seojoon smiles at Yoongi, “Now, tell me what you think of the movie.”

“Well, um, it’s great,” Yoongi nods. “Like what Seojoon said, the actors have a fantastic chemistry and the movie’s…cutesy scenes did the movie the best. They’re the perfect mix of feel-good and realism.”

“Right?” Jeff excitedly holds out his hand and Yoongi calmly high-fives him. Jeff grins, “Like the scene where Fei bumped into Jun in college with her gigantic pile of folders and the two of them had to pick up the papers that fell on the floor together. But instead of the cliché brushing of hands, we got to see the two of them bump their heads against each other. It’s so fun watching them awkwardly introduce their names to each other because hello, not everyone gets to just suavely introduce yourself to a girl you find cute.”

“Oh my god!—”

“Oopsy daisy,” a boy steps forward and holds Y/N’s arms, securing the pile of folders between the two of them.

“O-oh, thank you,” Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank god, they didn’t scatter to the floor.”

“Yeah,” the boy transfers the pile of folders onto his arm and walks down the stairs. “It would have been troublesome if we had to pick them up. They’re so many.”

Y/N makes her way to the bottom of the stairs. “Yeah, thank you for that. May I have them now?”

“Okay,” the boy gives her back the folders. With the small distance between them, Y/N finally makes out the features of the boy. He’s got his hair softly curling at the tips, his shoulders are broad, and he’s got these small dimples on each side of his cheeks. He’s…cute. Her eyes dart to his breast pocket where his nameplate is supposed to be.

Jung, Lei

“O-oh, you must be surprised by my name.”

“Oh no, no—”

“It’s okay. I get that a lot. My name is Jung, Lei. Last name of course from my father. My first name, my mother’s name. That’s why it sounds like a girl’s name. My father argues it’s unisex though. I really don’t care. A name’s a name.”

Y/N nods in understanding.

“How ‘bout you? What’s your name?”

Y/N jolts at the shift of attention. “I’m, uh, L/N, Y/N.”

Lei smiles, “That’s a cute name.”

“Um, yeah, thank you,” Y/N looks down, cheeks aflame.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods at Jeff. “The scene with them chilling in the bus and talking with each other while bumping their shoulders is funny and cute at the same time. I like how it’s awkward but endearing at the same time.”

“What are we listening to?” Y/N looks at the boy besider her, holding her end of the earphone secure against her ear.

Their school service rides on another bump, making Y/N jump and lose her hold on the earphone. Before she can fix it herself, Lei closes the distance between their laps and places the earphone in Y/N’s ear. He leans his head closer to hers so as not to drag the earphones his way with his taller frame. Y/N feels her heart beat fast and loud against her chest.

“We’re listening to Death Note’s first opening song. I know it aired like eons ago, but I just got to get around it and it’s really good.”

“Oh…I actually haven’t watched it.”

Lei looks at Y/N, his face inches away from hers. “Say, you wanna watch the first episode now? I got to download all episodes in my phone.”

Y/N gulps and nods. “Okay, I like that. So much.”

Jeff smiles, “I also like the part where Fei and Jun meet each other again at work and rekindled their friendship. Like, I know the sudden end of their friendship by the end of college is rather awkward but it’s actually realistic. I lost contact of some of my friends in college because, you know, life. I met them again after like, 3 years and it’s hella awkward. But it didn’t last long, we easily got back to where we left off. I think the movie portrayed it really well.”

“Good morning, may I take your—”

“Y/N?”

Y/N’s smile falls into a flat line. Lei is standing in front of her, eyes wide like hers.

Y/N immediately ducks her head to the computer. “I, um, may I—”

“Can I talk with you after your break?”

Y/N looks up at Lei, confused.

“Just for a second,” Lei pleads. “I want to talk with you again. Please, Y/N?”

Y/N looks at her intertwined hands. At the end of the day, she’s still gonna have to talk with him. After all, she’s the one who suddenly stopped talking with him after she learned he likes Yuri, not Lei. Y/N internally cringes at her past self. Gosh, she’s so immature. She reacted as if she’s Lei’s girlfriend when all they’ve ever been are friends. She should stop getting ahead of herself. Y/N turns back to Lei and sees him look at her in anticipation. He’s still got the tips of his hair curled. Although his shoulders have grown broader, he still looks like the same old Lei. Her friend, Lei.

Y/N gives him a small smile. “Okay.”

“O-oh! And the gift scene!” Seojoon joins in this time.

Dana perks up and excitedly waves at him, “Oh my god, yes!”

“I love how Fei surprised Jun with the earrings of this guy from this TV series he’s been fanboying for years.” Seojoon lets out a wistful sigh, “It made me remember the day Jiwon gifted me a light saber. I told her Star Wars made my childhood and she remembered.”

Y/N peeks through the small window on the wall, watching Lei’s co-worker hand over her gift to Lei.

“From your girlfriend.”

“Oh, really?” Lei perks up. He opens the box and his jaw falls open. He pulls up a silver necklace, a small apple pendant adorning the thin chain. Lei’s grin grows wider. “Oh my god, she remembered—!”

Lei’s surprise was cut short when his co-worker leans forward and whispers something to him. Lei nods and his eyes immediately darts to the window. Y/N jolts. Shoot, her surprise is blown. She steps away from her hiding place and rushes to the hallway. But her escape is foiled as soon as it started as Lei is now standing in front of her, a smug grin on his face.

“Why are you running away?”

Y/N looks away. “It’s supposed to be a surprise. And now, it’s no longer a surprise.”

“But I am surprised,” Lei says in a soft voice.

Y/N’s eyes widen. “You are?”

“Of course. It’s been a while since I brought up Death Note. And you still remembered how I loved it back in high school.” He pulls up the silver necklace and turns his back to Y/N, crouching. “Help me put it on?”

Y/N’s fingers brush against her boyfriend’s neck and she could feel Lei shudder under her touch. She could see the hairs on his neck rise in goosebumps. Y/N bites back a smile and swiftly clips the necklace in place.

Lei turns around, holding on to the apple pendant. “Am I handsome now?”

“No.”

“Oh, Y/N, just admit it—”

“You’re not handsome now. You’re always handsome.”

Lei’s cheeks color in pink. Y/N looks away, heat washing over her.

Dana cups her jaw. “And it’s amazing how Definitely You did the fight scene. I’ve seen lots of romcoms before but their fight scenes just kinda all blurred together. Like of course, they gotta have fight scenes, that’s a given. But Definitely You made theirs stand out.”

“I get what you mean,” Yoongi clasps his hands on the table. “Fei and Jun complement each other so well. But both of them are also foils to each other’s flaws. Unlike the numerous romcoms I watched where the lovers’ fights are completely unnecessary, Definitely You’s fight scene is inevitable.”

“Lei, who is she?”

“Oh, Y/N. She’s, um, she’s just a friend.”

Y/N bites her lip.

“Lei, where have you been lately?”

“Don’t start this shit again, Y/N.”

“What shit? I’m just asking you where you’ve been these nights because I never see you here anymore and—"

“God, you’re nagging me again, Y/N. Why are you always like this?”

Y/N blinks, shaking her head.

“Lei, you know what happened to my mother.”

“Oh my god, do we have to run this over again?”

“We have to, Lei! Who is she?!”

“I told you she’s just a friend!”

“But this picture begs to differ. Look! You’re holding her hand and she’s practically got her chest pressed against yours! You told me to believe you and I did because I want to trust you. But it seems like I was wrong to do so because while I was worrying like hell, you’re cozying up to another girl in a bar!—”

Lei grabs the phone from her hand and flings it to the couch. Y/N gapes in shock.

“Will you stop being like this?! I told you she’s just a friend. She’s just having a hard time lately and I want to be there for her.” Lei shakes his head, looking at Y/N, disappointed. “When I asked you to be my fiancée, I didn’t expect you’ll suddenly turn out like…this.”

“Like what?!”

“Like a paranoid girlfriend. I didn’t sign up for that, Y/N. My brother already did the same mistake and I don’t want to repeat it again.”

“And unlike the cliché angsty stuff characters throw against each other, Definitely You made it more…personal.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean anything.”

“Cut all this shit short and just forgive me already. We know you’re gonna take me back in the end. You always do.”

“No one else will love you anyway but me. For one, you’re hard to deal with. I wouldn’t have cheated on you if you took care of my needs better.”

“You’re a difficult person, Y/N. No one wants that. I’m only with you because I have no choice.”

“I guess that’s what really made the film great,” Yoongi nods to himself. “The movie made Fei and Jun’s love story real.”

“It’s not real.”

The table falls silent. All eyes turn to Y/N. However, her eyes are trained on Yoongi’s.

The man looks at her with raised brows. “Wha-what do you mean?”

“It’s not real. Fei and Jun’s love story, that is.”

“What made you say that?”

“No one in their right mind will go back to the person who hurt their weakest core. Not when that said person knew this insecurity and still chose to use it against them. Fei is the representation of the patriarchic society’s ‘ideal woman.’ She’s beautiful, she’s got a nice body, and even if she acts in her own volition, she takes back the cheater of a boyfriend that she had because society deems women to just accept these shits and be their lover’s rehabilitation centers. While Jun is the formulaic leading guy. He’s funny, he’s attractive, and he knows how to fuck up so bad just so he can apologize in the latter part of the film just to prove ‘hey, I’m still a good guy.’ Because all of this are just a fantasy the media plays to satisfy people who seek pseudo-closure from their past lovers they know will never apologize to them. Definitely You’s theme that love is all you need to pass through life’s obstacles is bullshit. It will never be the best thing in the world because this is all just a ploy for the industry to get clout.”

Yoongi looks at Y/N, the crease on his forehead, loosening. He closes his eyes and sighs, “You’re right that the industry produces favorable films just for clout. That’s a given. However, you can’t deny the validity of the values these movies try to convey. Sure, movies can be cheesy as hell in making love as the best thing in the world. But how can they not when it is the best thing in the world?”

“It cannot always be the answer to everything, so it’s not the best thing in the world,” Y/N spits. “It’s easy for you to say that because you’ve never been in love.”

Silence.

“Yet,” Y/N clenches her jaw. “You’ve never been in love yet. We’re just…starting.”

Dana, Seojoon, and Jeff exchange glances.

“Oh…kay,” Dana stands, holding her hands out, “I think we’re getting a bit heated here.”

“Yeah,” Jeff nods, “I think we should take a break—”

“Yeah, I think we need that,” Yoongi looks at Y/N. He turns to his friends and smiles, “You guys can go ahead and wait for us outside. Y/N and I need to have a little talk.” Before Y/N knew it, Yoongi’s already standing up and holding her hand, leading her out of their booth and into the fastfood’s narrow corridor leading to the comfort rooms.

Yoongi drops her hand and pins Y/N with a glare. “What was that?”

“What? I know I slipped up, but I saved it, okay?”

“I’m not talking about that. I meant what did you say in the table? What was that?”

“The truth?” Y/N shrugs. “Well, it’s true the movie glorified the hell out of love.”

“Not that. I meant what you said about me.”

“Oh,” Y/N drawls as if amused, tone dripping with condescendence. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I understand it’s natural for you to dig those kind of movies and believe love is the best thing in the world. Because you, Yoongi, have never. Been. In. Love,” she points to his chest, making him take a step back away from her.

“Well, I don’t have to be in love to say so,” Yoongi gulps. “I mean, look at the people around you. Everyone is getting married and having fun lives with their significant others.”

“That’s because DRM existed,” Y/N spits. “If DRM didn’t have their ridiculous programs with ridiculously good benefits, not everyone’s gonna get married and have significant others so easily.” Y/N throws up her hands, “Let’s admit it, no one wants to be sincerely connected with anyone anymore unless there’s something in it for them. I’ve met other couples who are faking their relationships just to get these amazing benefits. Like Dana! She said so herself! What kind of employee or-or minimum wage worker wouldn’t want some extended paid vacation leaves? I mean look at us,” Y/N points to the space between Yoongi and her. “We’re faking this thing just to get the Heart Holiday benefit.”

“Well, you’re right.”

Y/N stills, looking up at him.

Yoongi nods, “You’re right. We’re just faking all of this.”

Y/N already expected to hear this, and yet, it didn’t prepare her for the tremendous pain that pierces through her chest. Y/N feels her heart fall to the floor, the searing bitterness of bile rising up her throat. Yoongi’s eyes glint with cold finality and conviction and Y/N can’t find it in herself to look at them for longer. She brings her eyes down on her clenched hands. “Of course, I’m right.”

“But that’s not enough to justify how you’ve acted in our table,” Yoongi presses a hand on his temple. “What happened, Y/N?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you being like this? What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Y/N closes her eyes, “I’ve always been like this.”

“No you’re not. Yesterday we just—"

“Y/N?”

Y/N’s head shoots up. Oh no, not now—

Lei steps toward them. “Who is he?”

“I’m Yoongi. Why?”

Y/N whips her head to Yoongi. However, his eyes are fixated on the man at the end of the hallway.

Lei nods slowly, “Look, Yoongi, if you don’t mind, I have something to discuss with Y/N—”

“I don’t want to talk with you, Lei,” Y/N cuts him. “Not now. Not ever. So, could you please leave us alone?”

Lei steps forward, and just like earlier, Y/N takes a step back.

Lei reaches forward. “Look, Y/N. You know we need to talk so can you just—”

“She doesn’t need to do anything,” Yoongi interrupts, standing in front of Y/N. He’s holding onto Lei’s arm, preventing the latter from reaching Y/N. Yoongi cocks a brow. “Are you deaf? She told you she doesn’t want to talk with you. Why can’t you take ‘no’ for an answer?”

Lei clicks his tongue. “Look…Yoongi, I don’t think you have a say in this so please move aside—”

“I have a say in this when you’re obviously harassing my girlfriend.”

Lei’s brows raise and his eyes swiftly darts to Y/N’s. Y/N looks away.

Yoongi lets go of Lei’s arm, making the man take a step back. But it doesn’t deter Lei from targeting Y/N again. “Girlfriend, huh? When I met you at the theater, I thought you’re still the same old Y/N. Turns out you changed after all. You found someone else who can deal with you.”

Y/N’s shoulders grow tense. She balls her fist by her sides. “Lei, shut up.”

“Oh, I will,” Lei shoves his hands in his pocket. “Wouldn’t want to let your boyfriend see the real you, right?”

Yoongi steps toward Lei, “If you don’t stop right now, I wouldn’t hesitate calling for security on you—”

“You don’t have to worry about that, I’ll take my leave now.” Lei waves off, turning around in his heel. When he nears the end of the corridor, he sends Y/N one last glance. “I’m supposed to invite you to my wedding but I guess we can’t even have that. It’s sure nice meeting you again, though.”

Soon after that, Y/N and Yoongi are alone again. The silence is back. But now, it’s gone stale.

Yoongi faces Y/N. “Hey, are you okay?”

Y/N holds onto his hand. “Yoongi, I don’t think I can continue for tonight anymore.”

Y/N could see the man’s eyes cloud with confusion but nevertheless, he nods in agreement.

Seojoon, Dana, and Jeff were understanding when Yoongi and Y/N told them they needed to go.

“I’m sorry for blurting out the things I said,” Y/N apologizes. “You guys obviously liked the film and going off about it is disrespectful. I shouldn’t have done that and I’m so sorry. I must have ruined your night—”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Jeff chuckles, playfully hitting Y/N’s shoulder. “We all have our own critiques and thinking about it, your points are indeed valid.”

“Yeah,” Seojoon agrees, smiling, “I actually learned a lot from you.”

Dana clasps Y/N’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. We understand. You must be still tired from yesterday. I knew what happened yesterday from Amy.”

Seojoon nods, “Yeah, you lovebirds can go ahead. Don’t worry about us three, we can find our own ride!”

Y/N thought she would be relieved for the night after talking with them. But now, she doesn’t think so. Not when she could feel Yoongi’s eyes linger on her whenever they stop at a red light.

“I guess that Lei had something to do why you’re acting weird today.”

Y/N glances at him then at her hands on her lap. It’s not entirely Lei’s fault. But Y/N can’t afford to admit the other reason. That will be more humiliating. Y/N closes her eyes and sighs, “Yeah.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…who is he?”

“Lei’s my…ex-boyfriend.”

Silence.

“I see.”

Y/N swallows the lump of guilt in her throat and looks outside the window. “He’s the reason why I didn’t go to prom.”

“He’s the guy you used to share seats in your school service?”

“Yup. He’s an upperclassman.” Y/N turns to Yoongi, “Thinking about it, haven’t you met him before? His batch was the one you’re initially supposed to graduate in.”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. “If I had known a guy named Lei, I would totally remember them. But then again, I’m bad at talking with people in high school.” He and smirks at Y/N, “Told you, I had the worst case of shyness back then.”

Y/N curves her lips in a small smile, “Understandable.”

The cars start to move forward and Yoongi’s eyes train back to the road ahead. But instead of driving straight forward, he turns the car to the right and stops. They got out of the traffic to park in a gas station. Y/N turns to Yoongi—

“What happened next?”

Y/N blinks at him. “Yoongi, I...why?”

“I figured maybe you’d want a listening ear right now. You’ve been…off since this morning and I thought there’s probably something that’s been weighing you down. I told you you don’t have to carry all of those weight alone. You have me now.”

Do I, Yoongi?

“But of course, only if you want to open up. If you don’t want to, that’s okay, too. Just tell me to go back to driving and I won’t ask anymore.”

Y/N gnaws on her lip, diverting her eyes to the window by her side. It wouldn’t hurt to let her unshed tears talk for this time, right? She’s already suffered for a long while. It’s time she cut herself some slack.

“Lei was my…friend. But before that, I already harbored feelings for him. I just liked…everything about him. His face, how he interacts with his friends, how he’s doing so well in class. I liked to look at him from afar. Just getting a glimpse of him is already enough for me. So, when I learned he took the same school service as me, I…became selfish.”

Y/N caresses her knuckles, “I wanted to know him more. And I wanted him to know about me, too. At first, I just wanted to let him see I exist. But after he started paying more attention to me, I wanted him to be curious of me. And soon we became attached to the hip and he started to cross our boundaries in our personal space. I was so happy. I got to have my crush both as my friend and someone who can potentially like me. I’m so eager to have someone look at me with love because…I didn’t get it from my family o-or anyone back then.” Y/N sniffles, “You see, my father cheated on my mother when I was young.”

Yoongi looks at her, eyes wide.

Y/N lets out a humorless chuckle. “What a bomb right? I had the same reaction when I learned that from my aunt. Worse, it was during the time mom was losing herself to all kinds of vices. My dad created a family with a younger woman and cut all connections between us. And my mom took it the worst because she somehow forgot she’s supposed to be a mother to me and understand she’s not the only one who lost a family member. She only cared about me when I bring home awards from school. Of course, who doesn’t want a trophy child they can boast to other parents? Especially when everyone is looking at her with pity from what happened. I can’t fully blame her for that, too, because I talked less with her to focus more on studying. I thought if I fail in school and stopped bringing home medals and awards, my mom will stop loving me. And I couldn’t have that. She’s the only one I have left.”

“But as I look at it now, I can understand why she did the things she did. After laying your life for someone you thought will love you through thick and thin only to have him fuck you over, you’d want to be selfish for yourself the second time around, right? I know what it felt, because I became like this to Lei. Of course, I was glad I got to have such a good friend as Mina after all the years I struggled to have someone understand me. But I craved for something more than friendship could offer and Lei gave me that. He looked at me and treated me like I’m his everything. He cared for me more than my family and friends did.”

“I guess I got too selfish because I projected my desire for him to like me back on how I viewed the things around me. That when I learned all he’s doing is just be the best friend he could be to me and that he actually likes someone else, I can’t help but feel angry. Betrayed. Even when there’s nothing between us that occurred. He just didn’t like me and I took it personally. So guess what I did?” Y/N nudges Yoongi, “C’mon, ask me what.”

“Okay, what did you do?”

“I cut all connections with him,” Y/N laughs, “Just like what my father did to us. But life didn’t intend me to cut our time with each other so short. Because after I graduated from college and started doing part-time jobs, I met Lei again. And just like the first time I met him, I was drawn to him. The only difference was now, I was more mature and I’ve I learned a lot from my lesson. So, I treated Lei this time like a friend would—no expectations, no ulterior motives. Just a friend. But eventually, feelings got rekindled and I’m back to where I am before: in love with him. This time though, it wasn’t one-sided. Lei confessed to me and I was the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“It was good from the start. We stayed strong and we grew with each other’s help—career- and value-wise. Of course, there have been rough patches in our relationship, which doubled when we moved together. But all of them got resolved because Lei and I worked to overcome them. I was sure then Lei is the one for me. And he thought the same because another year after, Lei proposed to me.”

Yoongi looks at her surprised.

“Yeah, I got almost married,” Y/N sighs. “Had I not known he’s a lying, cheating bastard.”

Y/N blinks, “At first, I thought it’s maybe just me getting paranoid and overthinking things. But as my friends started to say the same sentiments I had, I figured it must be true then. I confronted Lei about it and time and time again, he assured me he’s faithful to me and that all of those girls were ‘just a friend.’ Of course, both of us know that isn’t the case. He kept lying through his teeth and I kept taking him back because—” Y/N puts the back of her hand against her mouth, muffling a sob. “Be-because no one else will love me when I’m like this…difficult to deal with.”

“Who said that?”

Y/N’s brows furrow. “No one has to say it, Yoongi. I know I am difficult. Just look what I did earlier—"

“Who said you’re difficult, Y/N?”

Y/N tears her eyes off him and frantically covers her face with her hands. “Yoongi, I—”

Strong arms wrap around Y/N’s shoulders, coaxing her to rest her head against a warm chest. The familiar scent of Yoongi fills Y/N’s senses. It’s similar to the smell of his covers when she woke up in his room after their night out. It’s the same smell that overwhelmed her when Yoongi came close to press a soft kiss on her forehead in the break room. It’s the scent that covered her when she opened her fears and insecurities to him in the empty office. And now, it’s happening again as she breaks in shambles in front of him. Y/N presses her eyes close and…cries.

“I-it was my mother who said it first. S-she told me that when I told her to sto-op doing her vices and start caring for me instead. S-she said how can she do that when I’m s-so difficult to deal with. A-and when she had enough of me nagging her, she said that I’ll end up like her. She said I’ll get cheated on by the people I’ll love because no one would really like me. For so long, I wanted to prove her wrong. I tr-tried to always get on top of my class and present my best self to everyone.”

“But it wasn’t enough for her ‘cause when everyone around me has started working, I’m stuck with part-timing because the companies I applied in wouldn’t accept someone so young. And when my mother realized I’m no longer the outstanding trophy daughter but some nobody who got left behind by everyone, she stopped talking with me. I-I lost the one thing that makes my mother lo-love me.”

“S-so when Lei came, I got hopeful again. I thought I could make it right this time. Turns out my mom was right because after everything I did to keep Lei and I’s relationship afloat, he still cheated on me. When I asked him why he did all of those things, he said,” Y/N clenches Yoongi’s shirt. “He-he said I-I’m difficult to deal with and that he’s only with me because he has no choice. And it’s been long ago since I’ve moved on from him. But I still remember those words. Be-because if he said the same things my mom said, then it must be true. That I’m really unlovable and no one will truly like me—"

“That’s not true. I like you.”

Y/N stills. She pulls away from Yoongi’s arms to look at him, eyes blown wide.

Yoongi smiles at her, “And of course, Mina likes you. Dana, Seojoon, and Jeff like you too. Do you think they would keep bugging you to hangout if they didn’t like you? You’re nice, Y/N. You care a lot about the things and people around you. It’s obvious in the way you talk about Mina, how you try your best to help our department even if it’s outside the scope of your work. Heck, you even held my hand when I got shitscared from the movie we watched.”

Y/N looks down at her lap. Yoongi’s hands glide from her shoulders towards her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “No one is really unlovable because every single person is worthy to be loved. You are worthy of love, Y/N. You don’t deserve what your parents and that fucking Lei did to you. They are the worst and no one should have experienced what you’ve gone through. Hearing all of this, I don’t even know where did Lei got his audacity to demand you to talk to him tonight after what he’s done.”

“I kinda understand why he wanted to do that,” Y/N mutters. “I just packed my bags and only left the ring he gave me. I didn’t properly end things and there’s been no closure—”

“Well, closures are overrated.”

Y/N raises her brows at Yoongi.

“You didn’t have to properly end things when Lei, himself, ended everything that should tie you to him when he cheated on you. You don’t have to feel guilty for abruptly ending things because you had enough, Y/N. You gave Lei numerous chances and he fucked up each one of them. You don’t need to suffer through a ‘proper’ closure because Lei wasn’t even decent enough to respect your relationship. Lei should be the one feeling guilty. Not you, Y/N. You’ve suffered long enough. Don’t punish yourself even more.”

Yoongi cups Y/N’s face in his large hands, eyes softening as he smiles. “You’re lovable, Y/N. Don’t think otherwise.”

Yoongi’s eyes are staring right into hers, almost boring into them. Y/N could see a hint of the reflection of her face in his eyes, and instantly, her lips tremble as her eyes sting with tears. Why does Yoongi have to look at her like this? Like there’s no one else but her in his eyes? It’s unfair. It’s not fair when both of them know he likes someone else. It’s not fair when Yoongi affirmed what they really are just minutes ago.

“You’re right. We’re just faking all of this.”

Y/N holds Yoongi’s hands and slowly removes them from her face. “Okay, I will,” she mutters under her breath as she fixes herself in her seat. She feels Yoongi’s eyes linger on her before he awkwardly drops his hands and turns back in his own seat.

If you’re being unfair, can I also do the same?

“Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I…saw you getting close with Soyeon today. Is there something going on?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

Y/N glances at him and the man is facing away from her. But even with his face turned away from her, Y/N can still see how the tips of his tears have gotten red. He even raises a hand to rub at his nape.

Well, you have your answer now, Y/N.

Y/N gulps.

But still…Would you let me be selfish one last time?

“Yoongi…Can you postpone whatever you’re planning with Soyeon until we…end this deal? I know we’re just faking everything but I don’t think it will sit right with our co-workers seeing you get close with another girl when they know you’re dating me.”

Silence.

“Okay.”

Y/N interlocks her hands. “Thank you. And t-thank you for listening to me. I’m sorry I dumped such heavy things on you. You’re probably unprepared to hear all of those things tonight.”

“It’s alright. After all, we’ll never speak to each other again after this deal is over, right?”

Y/N’s face falls. She snaps her head towards Yoongi.

Yoongi chuckles. “I know, Y/N. I still remember the agreement. I just figured you might enjoy having someone like a stranger you can talk to about whatever you want. Strangers don’t spill secrets, anyway.”

Y/N doesn’t reply. She doesn’t know what to say.

Yoongi pulls the break and starts driving. “Let’s just make the most out of our last three days, okay?”

“Okay,” Y/N says, diverting her eyes back to her lap. She said okay but she feels far from being okay. Y/N leans her head against the window and closes her eyes. Well doing the right thing doesn’t mean it will always be in one’s favor. There will always be someone who’ll end up with the shorter end of the stick. And in this situation, Y/N knows it’s her. It’s the consequence she has to endure for letting herself fall for someone she already knew has eyes for someone else.

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Taglist: @ditttiii @fangirls94 @chogiyeol-utopia @mygscafe @lila4972 @sarcasmflowsinmyveins @shinyplaidbagellamp @nixwrites @jaykei18 @stillcopingxx @ryuhyunie @awixxx @angelicjinwoo @doyoufeellikeayounggod @blue1928 @mygs-soulmate @mikahminn @jungshookmeup @spring2787 @april5468 @buralarinkralicesi @loveyoongles (I’m sorry if this doesn’t show up in your notifs. Tumblr is being a bitch with links and I can’t tag some of you so I just put links of your blogs) ~( > O < )~

A/N: Hi hons. First of all, thank you for waiting for this chapter. I know it’s been like 3(?) months since I last post Act 2 (2/2). However, writing Act 3 of THH has been quite challenging. I’ve been through many writing slumps while writing this chapter, hence why I took so long to finish this. Writing the Act 3 also became difficult knowing I’m going to break a lot of writing rules here. I know it’s frowned upon to have a lot of exposition but I don’t know any other way I can deliver the story better. I hope it worked out though 👉👈 And as much as I enjoy writing drama and tension, it pained me a lot writing a character I’ve grown to love hurt so much. I know I should be merciless and just let them experience pain and grow. But my heart has become soft for THH!OC and Yoongi so much, I just wanna protect them at all costs. Aera, if you’re already being like this, how will you survive Act 4, HUH??!

Anyway, I’ll answer all asks, tags, and replies around the first week of September. By the time this chapter is posted, I’m probably cramming a paper I have to submit by August 31st. Yeah, I have to sort my priorities straight. I just couldn’t take my mind off THH that I know I had to finish it first so I can put my whole mind into writing my uni reqs.

As usual, comment down below if you want to get added to THH’s taglist! It will help me better track all of you hons when I post a chapter!

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I wish the wordcount makes up for the delay in the release. Also, feel free to leave comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Bye for now and wish me luck in my paper!

200830 Update: I forgot to tell you hons but this is trivia you didn’t ask for anyway AHAHHAHHAHA So the lines Y/N cited in her speech actually came from a speech I wrote Light of our Childhoods. I didn’t get to use it though when I became the representative of my class in the contemporary speech contest our English Department held.

Also, I listened to Kimi No Nawa’s Soundtrack and Lee Hi’s Dream on repeat while writing this chapter. I know this is probably just TMI but I don’t care, I just wanna put it out AHAHHAHAHAH

Yeah, I stopped doing my paper just to log in and include this additional A/N. I really have to start learning how to prioritize stuff.

#btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #bangtanhq #btsguild #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #btsbookclub #BANGTANARMYNET #bts scenarios #bts angst #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #yoongi scenarios #yoongi reactions #bts reactions #bts x you #yoongi x you #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #aera writes #IT'S FINALLY HERE YAYYY!!!

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