#just a warning. but you understand | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 3 months

Text

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

2K notes · View notes

dollya-robinprotector · 5 days

Text

Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky~

Inspired from This post of @just-dol-headshots and this ask from @hakusins. Don't worry I'm still aiming for your ass Haku-Dean :) References and something under the cut

We all have to agree Bully Robin should have some softer and caring sides. When there's only them two and no one else is around to judge, he can let loose and slip back into that kinda of "Original Robin" we know and I love. I mean, that's what JDOLH made that got me into these swap messes from the beginning jsjkhskjhd you knowww the HUG!!

Reference: Barbie Girl (Aqua) and this cute ecchi Clamp Chobit piece

All in all I'm a pink bietch and Dollya won't be losing her V-card anytime soon that I can promise so hang in there okay mr.Bully.

edit: OMG THIS IS MY 1000TH POST TTOTT)) JKSDJLASKJKDLA

SELF-INDULGENT HERE WE GO

421 notes · View notes

daily-odile · 3 months

Note

everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

#isat #odile loops au #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat odile #odile timeloop au #isat au #congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!!#contexts:#candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though #i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help #I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all #and she might as well maximize her loops #under cut:#she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting #yes loop is still you know who in this one #toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks #not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments #with variables to control and test #that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock #(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries)#day 26 today?#A big one! Have funnn #you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao

681 notes · View notes

turtleblogatlast · 1 month

Text

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is that small moment in “Air Turtle” where immediately after the Daves lose yet another game, Leo says how sorry he is and how he’s doing his best as the mascot. This moment is so short but it’s honestly jam-packed with a whole heap of characterization.

His need to apologize for things clearly not his fault - especially when it feels like he messes up the job he was given despite doing the best he can (the phrase “it’s not about you” takes a new meaning when this is one of the lessons to be learned from that - that he is not always solely responsible for things going wrong), his need to save face and make a connection with an older adult man in his life (something he consistently does throughout the series - he’s got a few daddy issues, always collecting potential father figures, it’s no wonder he jumps at the bit to keep rapport), and the way he sounds and looks and the words he chooses really pushes how he is just a kid (“Mr. the Dunk, I’m so sorry”).

Like I know it’s a one off moment that doesn’t truly mean much, but when put against the rest of the series it works really well with the rest of Leo’s established character and helps in solidifying later concepts as well.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #rottmnt headcanons #am I looking too much into things? almost assuredly yes #I actually appreciate how tim immediately goes ‘it’s not your fault’ as well? like he could’ve just blamed this 15/16 year old but he didn’t #but yeah this moment got to me a little mainly because it made me realize that Leo…DOES take responsibility for things a lot #he messes up a ton yeah but he says sorry at a pretty consistent rate #and y’know thinking about it #THIS IS TINFOIL HAT TERRITORY BE WARNED #he’s mentioned being betrayed by his brothers before - I wonder if it was something as simple as taking the fall for like #breaking something of Splinters or whatever #point is it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to get the full blame for something only partially his fault #or not his fault at all in some cases #like in bug busters where Raph gets mad at Leo for not getting captured with them #(I understand Raph’s mindset here a ton - Raph’s the leader and he’s likely lashing out so I don’t blame the poor kid)#but this plus the moment at the beginning of the movie #where only Leo is reprimanded despite Mikey and Donnie having full autonomy to join the fun pizza stacking #make no mistake this is not at all a diss on everyone else!!! it’s just something I noticed #I think that “it’s not about you” doesn’t just pertain to being arrogant and wanting the spotlight #I think it’s also about how responsibility is meant to be shared #and like #Leo DOES mess up a lot! so he’s honestly probably used to having the blame because it is often at least somewhat warranted #he’s specifically described as being good at apologizing after all #tldr: Leo messes up a lot of the time so he is very used to blame and attention both good and bad #even when the full blame should not be solely on his shoulders

291 notes · View notes

fossilizedhysterics · 24 days

Text

cw for suggestive humor🙏 . . . . . . . . . .

today, i bring you more funnies. tomorrow? who knows.

282 notes · View notes

teleport-warning · 8 months

Text

#genshin impact fanart #Genshin impact #Neuvillette #the little mermaid #look I really have no good reason for this mashup #just that my partner said he kept thinking of it due to Neuvillette’s whole trying to understand people thing #and then I couldn’t not draw it #you know I love me a good shitpost taken too far #teleport warning draws

184 notes · View notes

number-onekidqueen · 2 months

Text

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞

Luke Castellan x Poseidon!fem!reader

hi i have no idea if you take requests but if you do could you write for Luke x daughter of poseidon? I’ve been thinking about someone who’s similar to Luke who’s felt neglected by their God parent and when their half brother Percy comes and gets claimed within a week, she’s angry and jealous bc hers took almost a year. An angel in disguise, evil lovers trope 🥹🎀🫶 just wanted to share this concept that’s been itching my brain

comfort fluff

warnings: crying, gods being bad parents, jealousy, insecurity

The new blond kid furrowed his brow again, and you groaned internally.

“So we’re supposed to love them but they don’t even come and see us?”

The arrival of another kid was always exciting. They’d stumble over the border, scared out of their mind, and once they calmed down, you’d get to hear their story. They all had such different ones and all the details and quirks in them fascinated you to no end.

The less fun part was answering all the questions they had, and trying to make camp seem fun and exciting, when they were usually so broken. It never seemed right to you to talk about rowing races, as if they were antidotes for leaving your old life behind.

Percy Jackson, however, was proving to be more curious and.... confident than new demigods were typically.

You exchanged a look with Luke at Percy's comment, wondering how to answer this curveball of a question. You noticed his jaw was clenched, and he seemed to be making no kind of attempt at responding.

“Well, uh, yeah, more or less.” You replied lamely.

“I don’t get it. If we’re their kids why don’t they come down and visit us? Get to know us?”

“My question exactly,” Luke murmured bitterly to you, but then he grinned, clapping Percy on the shoulder.

“Eh, the gods they’re busy and all. But you don’t have to worry about them. Burn a bit of your food, pray sorta regularly and they’ll be happy. And just enjoy-"

“Who's my dad?”

Another difficult question.

"Sorry Percy, we don't know," you replied softly. "you'll know when you get claimed."

"Claimed?"

You explained the claiming process, and your unease grew as Percy frowned more and more as you continued. It was obvious he was against claiming.

"So let me get this straight," Percy paused, his expression one of utter distaste. "I've gotta do something cool - something amazing - in my first few days at camp to make my dad notice me?"

You winced. "Yeah, something like that."

"He doesn't just come down, and recognise me?" He asked in disbelief.

"The gods don't really... come down, Percy," Luke corrected, also wincing.

"So, what, they-"

"Don't stress too much about it, Percy. I'm sure your dad will claim you soon, and then we can all celebrate." You reassured with a grin.

If only that had been right.

---------

And you had won! You whooped, joining the cacophony of victory that was the Hermes cabin, all gazing triumphantly at the flag Luke had captured and was brandishing with pride.

When your eyes met Luke’s, your head spun. He had really done it! Your best friend, your amazing, brave best friend had won it again! He grinned at you, and your heart seemed to jump towards him erratically. Before you could think straight, you were running closer, and-

“Y/N! I think you have a brother?”

Huh?

Brother?

You noticed the atmosphere had changed drastically, and the campers had become hushed around you, whispering and pointing. And they were all… kneeling?

“Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon!”

At Chiron's call, you turned to where they faced and saw a dumbstruck Percy, thigh-high in water, squinting above him.

At a massive, glowing green trident.

Poseidon. He was your brother.

What?!

After the initial tidal wave of shock, and even joy for Percy wore off, you were outraged. Percy had been at camp for what couldn’t have been two days. And he was already claimed? When it took you nearly a year of hoping and crying and praying to do so?

What in the Gods did this mean? Were you not as special as Percy? Did your dad hate you? What in the- what- he- you- he-

You couldn’t think about it anymore, your thoughts incoherent and speeding through your mind. Your chest tightened, and you couldn't breathe, your lungs still and your eyes heavy with tears.

No, no, no, no. You wouldn’t ruin your brother’s claiming.

Even though your father ruined everything-

You began stumbling back, walking between rows of kneeling campers, as quietly as you could. It still seemed thunderous to your ears. You could feel the stares, but you tried not to think about that either. Judgement was at the bottom of your stress agenda.

Once the forest obscured your form, you began sprinting, dodging trees and shrubbery as you made a rapid escape to your cabin. The anxious thoughts didn't stop, even as the world rushed past you.

Breathe in, breathe- my dad hates me- out.

Breathe- he loves my brother more- in.

bre- he'll never love me as much- out.

b- you weren’t good enough, and you never have been- r-e-a-t-h-e

Once inside, you collapsed against the cool door. Your breathing finally slowed, as your eyes travelled over the familiar blue scenery. Felt the slightly chipped paint beneath your fingerprints. Inhaled the salty, sandy smell. This was your home. You could safely cry in here, feel comfortable, do anything you wanted-

Until Percy came.

You wouldn’t even have five minutes in here before everyone came back, and swung the doors wide for Percy. And you would be forgotten, shoved into a lesser position to make room for your shiny, new brother.

Stop! It wasn't Percy's fault that Poseidon was a terrible father. Percy was innocent. He was just a little boy, wanting to be accepted. It wasn't fair to feel bitter towards Percy.

But you couldn't help it.

Either way, you wouldn't let the first sight to his new home be his crying, jealous sister. You didn't want him to feel guilty for belonging.

But where else could you go?

The beach?

No. The water was once a comfort, but it seemed a hellish sight in your mind now. You didn't want to go anywhere near anything that reminded you of Poseidon. Absolutely not.

The forest?...

That was perfect.

Steeling yourself for the outside world, you inhaled shakily before rushing out of the safety of your door. Thankfully, camp was still quiet, although you weren't going to wait around for it to become full and rowdy.

Taking off at a jog, you made your way into the forest surrounding camp, in the opposite direction than the one campers would make coming back. Sure, monsters could attack you, but at this point you were certain you were angry enough to wield your dagger with lethal accuracy.

Come get me, bitch, and you'll find out just how I feel, you thought to yourself.

You moved through the forest until the dappled light on your tanned skin, became dimmer, almost dark. It was then you stopped, hunched over, breathing deeply, stepped backward to slump against a firm pine tree.

You let yourself cry, as loudly as you needed. The ocean never hushed her screams, and now that you were alone, neither would you. It was cathartic in a way, screaming as loud as you could, sobbing as hard as you needed, draining your body of all its sadness, jealousy, insecurity.

No one would ever hear you. It would be a secret between you and this little green glade.

And then you could return to camp, fake all the smiles you needed. You would be happy for Percy. You would be grateful to your father for allowing you to have a brother. You would be faithful and in admiration of the Gods.

You felt sick at those thoughts, a pit growing in your stomach at having to betray yourself for others.

Why did it have to be this way? Why?

The pit in your stomach only grew as you heard fast-paced approaching footsteps. Your sobs immediately halted, and you stilled against the tree, wiping your tears and drawing your dagger.

"Y/n?"

It was Luke.

You exhaled shakily, debating whether to respond. But it was Luke, and surely he would understand.

"Yeah?"

His approaching footsteps resumed, and you caught a glimpse of his face, splashed with relief. Immediately, he sat beside you, and wrapped a tentative arm around your shoulders.

It was so comforting, and you began to cry once more, this time into his shoulder. His fingers tangled in your hair, and they were so soothing, your cries became even deeper and cracked.

You couldn't remember the last time you had been held and comforted.

"What's wrong?" he muttered softly.

"My-my dad," you replied croakily.

"Oh," you knew he understood, because he tugged you closer and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. You shuddered at the contact, flustered despite your current emotions.

"Your dad is an idiot for making you feel like this."

"You-you can't say that," you said nervously, shifting in his arms as you glanced around, anticipating a megatsunami or hailstorm.

"I don't care, y/n, let me drown the next time I swim. You need to hear it. You're one of the best campers there is, and all you do is love him, and he treats you like this! He's an idiot!" He said earnestly, laughing a little.

"I just can't believe he'd claim him so soon," you whispered, and the tears began again, "I just-- it's like slapping it in my face that he loves him more. That Percy did enough for him and I didn't."

"No, don't you dare think like that." He tilted your chin up with his fingers. His eyes were strong, angry. But his fingers were gentle, and they caressed your jawline with care. "You've done more than enough for him. You've done more than enough for anyone, don't ever make yourself feel like this."

"But-"

"No. No. Never." And he drew you back into a tight embrace as the last of your tears flowed.

You stayed like that for what could've been minutes or decades, the both of you breathing in sync, against the rough bark of the tree and warm heat of your camp tees. You began to grow sleepy, your eyes drifting closed, and that's when Luke shifted.

"Hey," he murmured, his arms still wrapped around you as he pulled the both of you to your feet, "let's get you home."

Off you walked into the dusky evening, your words and secrets left embedded in the canopy and grass of that glade and deep in your hearts.

For while you now knew there were two children of Poseidon, and you were most certainly the second choice - you knew you were the favourite to Luke.

And maybe that was what mattered.

70 notes · View notes

girlwiththegreenhat · 1 year

Text

god why are there so many of these shitty bots lately. enjoy getting banned for phishing, shitstain

remember lads, it's report > report something else > unlawful uses or content > phishing! 💖

How to Identify Pet Bill Scam Asks

(please reblog the post linked above, I still see people reblogging these scam posts because they don't know they're horse shit!)

#scam alert #mutual aid #cats #catblr #psa #scyllostyle #vet bills #emergency #i hate these bots so much you do not understand. i loathe them.#at least the bot followers just pretend to be hot women #these scum are weaponizing empathy and i hate that more than anything #if you see somebody you follow reblogging this shit please warn them as well #why are there so many of these why are they coming to My Inbox #FUCK OFFFFFFFFFF 🔫

702 notes · View notes

cemeterything · 1 year

Text

okay fine i'll read homestuck. whatever. i've cracked i can't take it anymore i need to fuck around and find out.

#🐉#james reads homestuck #btw i know some people have legitimate objections to it so im fully prepared for that #and im not going to be an idiot and just try to ignore that and bury my head in the sand #but im curious as hell and even if some of it sucks i want to understand why #its such a compelling and beloved story to so many people #and hell i want to actually understand why some of it is Bad (for lack of a better word)#and not just take the word of random internet strangers as objective truth without further investigation #because thats the opposite of using my critical thinking skills #if you think reading media with some shitty stuff in it makes you a Bad Person just by exposure well idk why youre still following me anywa #but yea heres your warning that i will become aware of homestuck if thats something you cant stand #even though the likelihood of me blogging about it is slim #and if i do ill probably like. make a sideblog so people who really dont like it can avoid it.#MAN. okay. sorry for the disclaimer im just worried people are gonna think im an idiot or something and send me condescending asks #or assume the worst about me as a person #because. internet.

589 notes · View notes

aresianrepose · 5 months

Text

Extremely fucked up that in an arc where everyone is constantly saying they have to get more powerful no matter what right after Ashton literally had to jump into a pit of lava, Laudna is out here with Delilah in her head, and FCG actively attacking the group... Ashton gets blamed for *checks notes* asking if Fearne wanted the crystal, to which she says she thinks it's meant for HIM and somehow it's all Ashton's fault?? Imagine getting exploded into literal shards and having no one, even for a second, care if you're okay? And immediately jumping to the conclusion that you manipulated someone else??? What the fuck.

#ashton greymoore #cr3 #critical role spoilers #like i understand there were warnings #but i cannot stress enough how the entire mantra for this arc has been power no matter the cost #AND Ashton had literally just got done putting himself in a pit of lava for this shard #and i feel like lava has the general warning sign of this will kill you so #and Fearne is EQUALLY responsible

56 notes · View notes

spearxwind · 7 months

Text

writing this apology months before it happens but i am so sorry for the person i am going to become eventually. i am getting into warhammer 40k

#ive not touched the lore yet but miguel gifted me so many minis to paint and im slowly picking it up... and i have a big lore book too #that i rly rly wanna get into when i can and actually like. fucking KNOW what him and the guys at the store talk about whenever we go there #like hello. i understand nothing thank you <3 #btw if anyone knows abt 40k he assigned me tyrannids. he just decided those guys were for me #and he was right they genuinely really slap. alien bug freaks that consume everything and mimic other beings hell yes #anyways. let this be a warning. a prophecy even. the second i get into it i will not know peace and i will become incomprehensible #thunderclap #also i might as well start tagging #40k

100 notes · View notes

the-composer · 1 year

Text

let your muse have ugly traits! let your muse have unhealthy coping mechanisms! let your muse be toxic! let them be a hypocrite! let them do things that make you cringe! let them relapse and spiral and experience moral decline, as a treat! it’s roleplay. it’s supposed to be fun, and it’s even cathartic for some. embrace your whole muse.

#rpc #tumblr rpc #rebloggable #ppl always apologizing for their muse being awful and w/e but instead just be vocal abt it #and put warnings up #you don't have to water your muse down #my muse has ugly traits and can be REALLY DIFFICULT but i like that abt him #it makes him interesting #creates fun friction and opportunities for enjoyable conflicts #and also understand ppl won't want to engage w certain traits either and that's ok!!!#but don't compromise to such a degree that it stifles you or your muse #or changes them

572 notes · View notes

starflungwaddledee · 3 months

Text

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander #if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30 #also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH #again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG #also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later #probably #wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b

33 notes · View notes

smallblueandloud · 5 months

Text

i keep feeling like. there's something parallel between rose and yaz's endings. maybe parallel isn't the right word -- but i keep wanting to draw comparisons, i think because they're two characters who really defined specific doctors and for whom it's basically confirmed the doctor returned their (romantic) feelings

(they're not the ONLY ones who fit this description, but i'm in no way qualified to talk about clara or even river, so bear with me)

it just feels. i don't know. rose never leaves on purpose. she is separated from the doctor, forcibly, every single time. the doctor sends her home, or she gets stuck in an alternate universe, or the doctor leaves her in the same alternate universe. every single time, she fights to get back to the doctor. the writers had to create a perfect happy ending for her (half-human version of her doctor who'll age along with her, in the alternate universe where her father is alive) because otherwise she wouldn't stop fighting to get back to the doctor, and the show can't have that. the show needs to move on. we need rose to fade into the past.

i haven't seen all of yaz's episodes, but her arc seems very similar from the limited amount i've seen. she keeps fighting to get back to the doctor. she's in love with the doctor, and the doctor basically confirms returning her feelings, albeit in a very stilted, hesitant, doctor-y way (compare "imagine that happening to someone you--" with "and if i was going to, believe me, it would be with you").

but when yasmin's doctor regenerates... yaz is just expected to. step away, go back to living her life, never see the doctor again. kinda like the abandonment that most companions have ever experienced -- getting dropped off once and then goodbye forever! -- except with more of the onus on her. the show has to move on from rose's era, so she gets dumped on a beach. the show has to move on from yasmin's era, so yaz has to accept that the doctor is going off to die alone. she has to make her peace with that information.

i don't know. i think yaz's ending is trying to go hand-in-hand with graham and ryan's purposeful exit -- it seems like the chibnall era tried really hard to have Not Terrible endings for companions. which is very admirable! but honestly? yasmin's ending feels crueler than most, including rose's. yaz was in love with the doctor. the doctor reciprocated those feelings. they should've gotten their equivalent of s2-era 10rose! she should've gotten a chance to stay with the doctor through their regeneration, the way other love interests have been able to (s/o to river and clara!).

i know this is because of the limitations of the show. bad ratings meant chibnall left after only one regeneration, and new incarnations of the show rarely bring in characters from other eras.

but i'm still very sad for yaz :( like yes, she wasn't just dumped on the curb without warning. but she was still expected to say goodbye to someone she loved, knowing that person was dying, and not say a word of protest. if the previous history of the show is any indication, she's never going to see the doctor again. she doesn't get a half-human version of the doctor to live out her days with, and she's not "allowed" to fight to get back to the doctor, either, due to the way the show's structured (but also the way the doctor talked about them saying goodbye). she has to live the rest of her life knowing that the doctor is out there, perfectly capable of visiting, and the only reason they won't visit is because yaz is from a specific time of their life that they've moved on from.

i know she has the companion support group. and i know she'll move on! she's yaz. she's strong and self-actualized. she'll be okay, eventually. but she has to be okay, you know? she has to learn to live without the doctor. rose never had to do that.

it just makes me sad :(

#doctor who #thasmin #yasmin khan #thirteen x yaz #i guess maybe this post can be summed up by ''yaz is kinda the (nuwho) doctor's first actual ex. and her being an ex makes me sad :(''#sb and l rambles #sb and l watches dw #this post has been brimming for awhile but i sat down to write dw fic tonight and went ''i can't do this without talking about yasmin''#i'm not criticizing the show necessarily. i know why they had to make these choices.#i think i do prefer for 13 and yaz's ''breakup'' to be a mutual understanding as opposed to 13 leaving her on a curb w/out any warning #they were doing the best they could with a limited hand #it just makes me sad :( and it makes me hope that they mention yaz in the next season #essbie? hoping the show calls back to a love interest that isn't rose?? it's more likely than you think!#i am just so attached to yaz. i didn't expect to be but god she's so great and she just gets dealt such a difficult hand :(#and she copes with it! of course she does! ....but rose never had to deal with that kind of difficulty.

45 notes · View notes

egophiliac · 1 year

Note

hiii i have a question about your cheka !! did you use the professional or essential version of spine for it (im assuming you're using spine??) :0000 was debating on making some self indulgent sprites myself and i didnt know which version to buy

I use Professional! I don't use it as a professional anymore, but it works just as well for small silly things like fan-chibis. :D personally, I think the Professional features are absolutely essential (despite the cheaper version being called Essentials. it's a lie.) especially if you want to do a Twst-style chibi --I've stared at those little dudes for a looooong time trying to figure out how they work, and they're definitely using meshes, if not also constraints.

meshes are the big dealbreaker for me, since they let you weight the image to bones, and get actual deformation and bendiness:

(ignore the feather floating away, I didn't wanna fix it for the example :')

and of course, constraints are the other big thing! IK is the most obvious one:

but there's also ones that allow relative manipulation of other bones, paths, and all kinds of other fun stuff! I learned about keyable path spacing a while back and it absolutely blew my mind that you can just...DO that. god.

uhhhh yeah, sorry, I'm a Spine stan! I think Professional >>>> Essentials, although the price difference is, unfortunately, pretty steep (if it helps, I believe you can upgrade at any time for the difference in price, and for individuals it's a one-time purchase with perpetual free updates). it has a little bit of a learning curve, but once I got used to the UI I found it really intuitive, and there's plenty of documentation and tutorials!

tl;dr it's pretty expensive if you aren't using it professionally -- and you could definitely get good results using Essentials if you're clever about rigging -- but Professional is far and away the superior version.

#i...don't know what to tag this #sorry!#gif warning #gifs that i just discovered you can export with visible selection warning #i keep learning new cool things you can do in spine. i want to marry this program #anyway there's a couple of other professional-exclusive things like clipping masks and audio #but meshes and constraints are the super necessary big deal ones IMO #i want to touch the twst rigs. those INK DRIPS #i want to understand them #i think there's a really clever mixture of deformation and...shearing i think? going on #i-it's neat okay just take my word for it #me breaking out the jeweler's loupe to analyze some tiny anime gifs

321 notes · View notes