#Leo DOES mess up a lot! so he’s honestly probably used to having the blame because it is often at least somewhat warranted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thebreakfastgenie · 2 years

Note

I don't even go here (westwing) but I would love to hear your analysis of how they screwed up each character in the later seasons :O

Okay so the thing is I haven't rewatched the later seasons in full in a long time, so I'm working from here! If I ever make myself watch them (which I probably will because I have a friend who's watching the whole show for the first time) I can make additions/corrections.

First I want to say that an underlying issue with a lot of this is they kept adding to the cast, which left less and less time for any real growth or development for the original cast. I like the new characters like Kate and Annabeth and of course Santos and Vinick, and I even like the recurring characters on the Santos campaign, but I think adding that many characters was a mistake.

Will is kind of a gimme. He's just a completely different character. He's less idealistic and more ambitious and honestly kind of a jerk. Because he was only in about half a season before Sorkin left, this Will ends up being the majority of who Will is, which is a shame.

Bartlet is probably the least screwed. He does feel a little different to me, which I think inevitable with the writer change, but he's fine. He actually gets a pretty good storyline, with the MS. I dislike how his marriage is handled in season 5, but that's more to do with how they screwed up Abbey. He does suffer a little from being out of focus in the last couple seasons, but I think that was to a large extent unavoidable. Bartlet kind of checking out from the presidency after Zoey's kidnapping also makes sense, although I think Leo should have tried to snap him out of it a lot sooner. And firing Leo didn't seem right.

Charlie is a mess because they had no idea what to do with him, but to be entirely fair, neither did Aaron Sorkin. Dulé Hill was criminally underused all seven seasons. Keeping Charlie in the White House well after he'd outgrown the personal aide role was a challenge, I get that, but in season 6 Josh, Donna, and Will were all allowed to leave the White House. Why not let Charlie leave as well? He could even have joined one of the campaigns. Charlie and Zoey rekindling was nice and I consider them endgame but like most of the relationships in the last season, they had so little screen time to develop that it felt a little out of left field.

CJ being chief of staff is a fun girl power moment but I've come to like it less and less. Before the Bartlet campaign, CJ had only worked for statewide campaigns. Become White House Press Secretary was a big deal for her. The reason I used to like her promotion is that she spends so much of the early seasons proving to the boys' club that she knows what she's talking about. But the fact is that CJ's skillset is not the chief of staff skillset. She has different, vital skills that deserve more respect and appreciation and I would like to see her continue to use those skills. I also think CJ being chief of staff was as much about the surprise twist as elevating a female character and honestly those are both bad reasons to do it (but the latter is understandable). They had to spend a whole episode making Josh and Toby act more incompetent than usual to justify giving it to CJ and it still didn't work for me. So many of CJ's interesting stories came from her working with the press. CJ taking on the communications director role could have been interesting, but not chief of staff. I think she just loses a lot of dimension. That being said, CJ is one of the least screwed up characters in the later seasons.

Abbey is complicated. Her reaction to Zoey's kidnapping is believable, but disappointing. The kidnapping storyline was a lot more interesting to me before she started blaming Jed. Also, while like I said it's believable that her emotions from that situation would affect her view, the Abbey we knew would not be angry with Jed for making a top secret foreign policy decision without consulting her. This is also a bit wrapped up in how annoying I am that they ended up tying the kidnapping to Sharif. I blame Sorkin for this as much as anyone because he had an ending in mind and didn't tell anyone. After that, Abbey's return to the White House and eventual reconciliation with Jed is just kind of glossed over. If they were going to put them at odds like that they at least needed to deliver a more satisfying conclusion. And Abbey working at a clinic and dodging questions about her suspended medical license just feels clumsy. Again, I love seeing her return to medicine and the storyline of the possibility press issues that can cause is great, and I would believe her feelings about her medical license changed, but it's never explored so it just feels thrown together.

Donna is probably controversial but I hate what they did to her. She's a completely different character and she lacks all the things that made her unique and fun. She becomes a generic political operative. Maybe she's a badass, but she's not Donna. She's missing Donna's idealism and also her quirks. It's also not actually character development. If it were character development, we would see a journey of growth. Donna is handed a very high ranking job on the Russell campaign, which is ridiculous. It was probably only done to keep her near Will, but it's bad writing. Donna having a high ranking job on a fledgling campaign like Santos might be believable, but Russell is the frontrunner. Donna has a lot of experience, but most of it is unofficial. Her entire resume is being an assistant and she doesn't have a college degree. Which is also why I dislike the statement that she outgrew her job three years ago. She didn't. She is maybe starting to outgrow it, but it also wasn't Josh's job to find a promotion for her. Donna's role in the show was always complicated, but showing how much vital work assistants do and how smart they are was a great element that's completely lost by basically saying that job is beneath someone like Donna. I would have liked to see Donna actually take control of her own destiny and work her way up. Let her confront that she gave up her education for a man, and then got a new start and built a life for herself but maybe allowed herself to stagnate a little for another man. You can still have the conflict between Josh and Donna without Donna unfairly resenting Josh, and it would actually make his feeling betrayed more personal.

Josh is another one who's handled relatively well, but I still think they missed some of the complexities of the character. Testosterone poisoned Josh test-driving a hummer and destroying a prius is funny, but it's a bit too much. Josh isn't that kind of a buffoon. He just falls down a lot. Josh being the one to say the president invoking the 25th was a mistake makes sense in some ways, but I think it's the first example of Josh being written as a little too cold and calculating. He's just... not very nice sometimes. He always had moments where he was a jerk, but it's more than that, somehow. To this end, the Dotty Baker storyline at the convention makes me furious. I honestly believe Josh would suggest leaking Dotty's mental health history in that moment, because he's desperate to win, but he would feel like shit about it later. There's a really interesting story there, but they don't tell it! They just forgot that he has PTSD. Which is funny, because a lot of what's off about him in those seasons could be explained by him ditching therapy when he starts the Santos campaign and his mental health subsequently deteriorating. He's also written as more of a screw-up. Not making him chief of staff makes sense if Leo wanted him to be free to go get the next guy (which would be in-character for Leo!) but it's not really explained and again, follows an episode of him and Toby acting like idiots for no reason, contributing to a larger pattern of Josh's competence being downplayed. He does have moments of competence too, though, so this might just be my memory failing me here. I don't like how he's written vis-a-vis Donna when they finally get together because whether he's ready to commit or not seems to change based on the scene. His loyalty to and love for the other characters gets lost a lot when he spends less time with them which is an issue because that's central to his personality.

Leo is just... mean. He is mean to Josh and basically everybody else in season 5. I get the idea is he's stressed because Bartlet is checked out but it really just doesn't feel like Leo. And then his fight with Bartlet. Again it seems like they understood one aspect of Leo, that he's intimidating and takes his role seriously, and just... missed his fun-loving human side and a lot of his complexities. I mean, bringing in Angela to do secret polling numbers... what even was that? I also think the cast shakeup in season 6 was a mistake. There wasn't much to do with Leo once he left the White House. Making him Santos's running mate doesn't make a lot of sense, except on an emotional level for Josh. Santos agreeing to that is... strange. Leo has never held elected office. He was Secretary of Labor, but aside from that his entire career has been as a staffer or in the private sector. He has recent scandals related to both his history of addiction (and he was using drugs while in the cabinet, so it's not just a personal thing) and Bartlet's MS, which you'd think the Democratic Party would want to distance themselves from as much as possible. He's recently had a serious heart attack and left his position a chief of staff as a result. Leo gets some fun stories as a candidate and he's much better than he was in season 5, but it's kind of a mess.

Toby... oh, Toby. Obviously the main thing is the leak storyline that never happened, but there's also everything else. Toby being an absent father does not fit with season 4 at all. I'm constantly baffled by that decision. Toby's desire to play more of a policy role in season 5 before Will jumps ship is interesting mostly because Toby was already doing that. Obviously his focus is communications but he was always part of policy meetings and advised the president directly on issues. Maybe the writers were basing his role more on what communications directors really did in the administrations they had experience with, I don't know, but they needed to stay consistent with Toby's job in the world of the show. And like everyone else he just... gets mean. He has these doom-and-gloom lines that make no sense (like his reaction to Vinick's announcement). He becomes so dark and angry. His anger at Josh makes no sense because all he'd done was belittle Santos as a candidate and insist he had no chance of winning, and then he got angry that Josh didn't invite him along? Also, before Bartlet, Toby had literally never won an election, because he picked candidates based on principles and refused to compromise. So Toby reacting that way to Santos is... odd. I'm not saying he needed to be onboard right away, but he should be the last person making the electability argument, or at the very least he should bring up his experience and discuss whether Democrats can afford to lose. The key to Toby, which they seemed to miss, is that his prickliness comes from a deep-seated belief that the world can be better than it is. Everyone and everything is constantly letting Toby down. The writers just didn't seem that interested in the character by season 7.

And what really, really gets me, is the actors definitely knew the characters better than this. I don't think they were given enough input. When I watch the episodes Bradley Whitford wrote, characterization-wise it feels like the old days. It's like they're back all of a sudden.

#not including Sam because he's only in a couple scenes in those seasons #i feel like this could be Better this is such an opportunity #so i reserve the right to do this better later #but here's a start #mash style table reads would have fixed this show

3 notes · View notes

dumbass-extraordinaire · 3 years

Text

Duck, Duck, Grief

The newly reopened wound on Aubrey’s thigh throbs dully as she limps away from the base of the ruined Mt. Kepler and back towards the gate. She hears a voice in the back of her mind, the sensible one that sounds a lot like Duck, telling her that walking on an injured leg is a bad idea and that she’s only gonna make it worse. A louder, more vicious voice tells her she deserves it. This one doesn’t sound like Duck. She ignores them both and keeps walking. The night air is cold, numbing her exposed arms and face. Aubrey is grateful for it. Having a body feels like an impossible task right now. Thinking is out of the question, because thinking means acknowledging everything that just happened-

(gone all gone all gone he’s gone he’s gone it’s all your fault why couldn’t you heal him useless you didn’t even try you told him to leave he was supposed to leave now he’s gone it’s your fault)

-and she wasn’t ready. Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her ears were buzzing and it was too cold and she couldn’t breathe-

(he’s on the ground his eyes are open he doesn’t see you he isn’t breathing why isn’t he breathing his hands are cold he is never cold he is always warm warm warm warm smile warm laugh cold)

“Miss, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

There is a voice above her-

(it is not his voice you will never hear his voice again your fault all your fault dead dead dead)

-the voice continues, but it is not talking to her anymore.

“I think she’s in shock-- Oh god, she’s bleeding, oh that’s real bad, aw jeez,” warm hands grip her arms and lift her to her feet. She doesn’t remember falling to her knees. That explains why her leg feels like it’s on fire-

(burning burning the house is on fire there is a man in a mask her dad is on the ground burning)

She is vaguely aware of being half-carried over to an ambulance. They sit her down, telling her to put pressure on the wound, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. She does this without comment, cannot open her mouth for fear that the words will come tumbling out and never ever stop. She does not move.

…

Duck and Minerva had just finished taking down the abomination and were making their way over to Leo Tarkesian and Dr. Sarah Drake when they saw the top of Mt. Kepler lift into the air, then came crashing back down, shaking the earth and causing the telescope to creak and sway a little, which in all honesty was really terrifying.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” Duck yelped as the ground shook with the aftershocks of the mountain’s collapse. He lost his balance but Minerva grabbed his arm to steady him before he could fall over.

“Duck Newton You Should Be Careful! Core Strength Is An Integral Part Of Any Hero’s Skill Set!” She exclaimed cheerfully, clapping a hand onto his shoulder with almost as much force as the mountain’s collapse.

“Thanks Minnie,” he wheezed, rubbing his sore shoulder. Sarah ran up to them, her eyes wide with shock.

“What the hell just happened to the mountain?” she asked, her face pale with fear.

Duck scratched his head. “Honestly, Sarah? I got no earthly idea, but we should probably go find out,” he sighed. “C’mon, we got a ways to go.”

The group of four made their way across the field towards the parking lot, Minerva still giving Leo a piggyback ride on account of his injuries. When they reached the front gate, Sarah paused and turned to Duck. She looked as exhausted as he felt.

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed, “As fun as this has been, I think I’ve just about maxed out my daily limit for weird. If it’s all the same to y’all, I think I’m gonna head on home.” She points to him, “Don’t think this means I’m gonna let you off the hook about this, mister. I expect an explanation.”

He salutes her playfully, “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll have that report on your desk by Monday.”

She smiles and says, “See ya around, Newton,” before turning and walking into the night.

Duck, Minerva, and Leo do the same, making their way to Duck’s government-issued truck. He chucks the extra broadsword into the truck bed, slings Beacon back around his waist, and slides behind the wheel exhaustedly. A part of him waits for Aubrey to call shotgun before remembering with a start that she isn’t with them. He’s so used to having her and Ned as back up in life threatening situations that their absence right now is disconcerting. He’s more than a little anxious to see them again; they’d all been so busy with their own situations the past few days that they hadn’t had much of a chance to hang out.

“What A Fine Chariot This Is, Duck Newton,” Minerva booms jovially, slapping the roof of his truck. There is the distinct sound of crumpling metal.

Duck squints blearily at her as she squeezes into the passenger seat, mentally cycling through the five stages of grief as Minerva buckles her seatbelt. He turns the key in the ignition and drives out of the parking lot.

…

The closer they get to Amnesty Lodge, the more nervous Duck gets. Not for the first time since the whole Sylvain mess started, he resents Kepler’s location in the Radio Quiet Zone. Usually he didn’t mind not having a cellphone, but right now he would give just about anything to call Aubrey and Ned and make sure they’re okay. The herd of ambulances and police cars heading towards the Lodge do nothing to quell Duck’s mounting anxiety levels.

His anxiety turns to dread as he turns onto the dirt road leading to the lodge and sees the crowd of townsfolk gathered in front of the gate, an ambulance parked off to the side. He jerks the truck to a stop and jumps out, not even bothering to take the keys out of the ignition as he scans wildly for his friends. Minerva moves to follow him, but he stops her, telling her to watch out for Leo. Things are complicated enough without throwing an honest-to-fucking-god alien warrior into the mix.

When he finally does see Aubrey’s colorful shock of dyed hair, it is both a relief and an extra source of stress. A relief because she’s alive, and a source of stress because she’s sitting in the ambulance.

Duck rushes over to her, his heart dropping into his stomach as a list of every worst case scenario runs through his head. Someone found out about the lodge, someone went through the gate who wasn’t supposed to and went on a rampage, Agent Stern arrested someone, someone got hurt, someone got killed. At least Aubrey is okay. And while he doesn’t see Ned anywhere, Duck isn’t too worried about the old guy. He’d survived ramming into a Pizza Hut sign with a jetpack, as well as the explosion of said jetpack immediately afterwards. The man was damn near unkillable. He skids to a stop in front of Aubrey, his momentum almost causing him to crash into the side of the ambulance. He takes her in, noting the bandage on her leg and the shock blanket around her shoulders.

“Y’okay, kid?” He asks, “Aubrey?” She doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at him or even seem to register his presence.

That’s his first clue that something’s wrong, because he’s seen her like this before, after the whole ordeal with the Pizza Hut sign. The hollow, haunted expression on her face is nearly identical to the one she’d worn that day. It scared him then and it scares him now.

“Aubrey,” he repeats her name. “C’mon kid, ya gotta talk to me. I just got here, I’m way outta the loop.” Nothing. She just keeps staring blankly ahead. He crouches down in front of her, waving a hand in front of her face to get her attention. Again, nothing. Shit.

He stands back up and starts pacing, raking his hands through his hair, “Aubrey!” He snaps. The longer she stays unresponsive, the more nervous he gets, “I need you to say something, kid, you’re fuckin’ scaring me!” Try as he might, he can’t quite keep the panic from bleeding into his voice.

Finally, finally, she looks up at him, and his heart breaks.

Aubrey looks absolutely wrecked. Her eyes are bloodshot and ringed black with smeared mascara and eyeliner, her face blotchy and tearstained. Disconcertingly, both her irises are a bright, piercing orange. Duck figures this is something important, something he should ask her about right away. He doesn’t, though, because he couldn’t care less about whatever earth-shattering event made Aubrey’s eyes change color. He doesn’t care about all that world-saving, chosen one stuff, and he never has. He cares about people, his people, and right now that’s Aubrey and Ned. They’re the Pineguard, his family, and he would rather die than see them hurt.

“D-Duck,” Aubrey whimpers, her voice fragile like his ma’s best china. “Duck, I couldn’t…h-he…” She shatters, then, curling in on herself as she sobs.

“Hey now, uh,” Duck has never been good at comforting people, especially when they’re crying. But this is Aubrey and she needs him, social anxiety be damned.

He sits down next to her on the tailgate of the ambulance, shifting so that he’s almost facing her, and puts his arms out, “Do you-- Ooph!” Before he can finish his question, Aubrey collapses against him, sobbing into his shoulder. Duck freezes for a moment, unsure, before wrapping his arms around her.

“I-It’s all,” she hiccups, “it’s all m-my fault, Duck, I-I couldn’t…” She dissolves into sobs again, too distressed to continue. Her shoulders shake with the force of it.

Duck pats her back awkwardly. “Aw, Aubrey, I don’t know ‘bout that,” he says, “I don’t think-- don’t blame yourself, kid. I’m sure you did everything you could.” Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because she starts crying even harder.

He doesn’t know what to say, so he just hugs her tighter instead. He hates himself a little for that, wishes to god that the words didn't stick in the back of his throat like old gum on the underside of a picnic bench. Aubrey hiccups, and Duck rubs her shoulders soothingly. He’s never seen her like this before, never seen her this broken. Sure he’s seen her cry, seen her upset, but never like this. Something is very, very wrong, and Aubrey’s clearly in no shape to tell him what, so he scans the crowd for someone who can.

Finally, he makes eye contact with Jake Coolice. Which, okay, not exactly ideal, except for the fact that he’s standing next to Mama, who’s engaged in conversation with Detective Maygen. Duck jerks his head towards the matriarch of Amnesty Lodge, hoping Jake picks up what he’s putting down. The neon-cloaked Sylph looks confused, and he points at Mama and mouths her name in a silent question. Duck nods emphatically. Jake smiles and gives him two thumbs up before tugging on the sleeve of Mama’s duster to get her attention. The older woman turns to Jake, who points in Duck’s direction. She squares her shoulders, like she’s preparing for battle, and makes her over to the ambulance.

The first thing Duck notices is how tired she looks. The second is the blood on her shirt and hands.

His blood turns to ice in his veins, “What the fuck happened?” he demands, “Are y’okay?”

Mama sighs, her whole body moving with it, “It’s not mine,” is all she says, and her shoulders slump in something a bit too much like defeat for Duck’s taste.

“Whaddya mean, whose is it then?” he asks, panic setting in.

She exhales softly through her nose. “Duck, honey, I’m real sorry,” she begins, “now I don’t want you blaming yourself for this, ‘cause it ain’t no one’s fault.” Mama pauses, looking up at the night sky before running a hand down her face. There is dried blood under her fingernails.

“Whaddya mean, Mama, what happened? What don’t ya want me blaming myself for?”

She looks pained, “Duck, sweetheart--.”

“No! Don’t baby me, I aint a fuckin’ kid,” he snaps. “What. The. Hell. Happened.”

“I-it was Ned.” The response comes not from Mama, but Aubrey. She pulls aways from Duck, exhaling shakily and wiping her eyes.

Duck stares at her. “Whaddya mean, did he get hurt or somethin’?” he asks, pretty sure he already knows the answer to that question and hoping to god that he’s wrong, “Aubrey?”

She shakes her head. “No, uh,” she takes a shaky breath, “Shit, I can’t do this. Mama, uh, can you explain, please?” Her voice trembles as she gives the older woman a pleading look.

Mama gives her a sad smile, “Sure, baby.”

“Thanks,” Aubrey sniffles. Duck puts an arm around her and she buries her face in his shoulder.

Mama takes a deep breath, “Duck, ya said ya didn’t wanna be babied, so I guess I better just say it outright. Ned ain't hurt, honey. I’m so, so sorry, Duck, but he’s dead. Ned’s dead.”

The words hit him like a punch in the gut, leaving him breathless and gasping.

That can’t be right, Ned can’t be dead. Ned ‘Cowardly’ Chicane, the only one of them with any sort of self-preservation instinct, the guy who just the other day had assured Duck that he didn’t need to worry about him getting hurt because he quote-unquote, “knew when to get the hell outta Dodge” was dead? No way. This had to be to work of the shapeshifter, or some sick practical joke. It couldn’t be true, because if it was, it would mean Duck had failed. It would mean that something happened and he hadn’t been there to take the big hit. It would mean that Ned had taken the hit instead. And he can’t handle that. What’s the point of being the “Chosen One”, the so-called savior of the planet if he can’t keep the people he cares about safe?

“Duck?” Mama’s voice cuts through the haze of grief and shock clouding his brain. He doesn’t respond, “You with us?”

He wants to argue, wants to break down and scream at the injustice of it all. But he doesn’t, because he’s not the only one grieving Ned’s-- he’s not the only one affected. Aubrey’s here too, huddled against his side like a barnacle on the hull of a ship. God, she’s so young, still just a kid, really. She shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. She shouldn’t have to deal with this at all, truth be told, but that’s not in the cards. The least Duck can do is be strong for her. He’s good at being strong. So he pushes aside all his grief and anger and self-recrimination, packing them away in a cardboard box in some dusty corner of his mind to deal with later. Aubrey comes first.

He takes a deep breath, “Yeah, Mama, I’m with ya.” He runs a tired hand down his face, “What, uh, what happened?” His voice trembles right at the end. He clenches his jaw.

Mama glances ever so slightly at Aubrey. “I’m fine,” is all the young woman says. Mama looks to the night sky, as if hoping the stars can tell her how to make this easier. Whatever she was looking for, it isn’t there and she faces Duck once more.

She does that thing again, squaring her shoulders like she’s getting ready for a fight, “The Abomination, it took Ned’s shape an’ then spilled the beans about everything on television. The lodge, the gate, Sylvain, all of it. That’s why all these folks are here,” she gestures to the crowd of townspeople.

“Ned, he killed it and came down here to try and divert ‘em, send ‘em on a wild goose chase. It sorta worked, actually, he got rid of about half of ‘em. He starts talkin’ folks down, tryin’ to get the rest of them to see sense,” she laughs bitterly, “And it mighta even worked, too, ‘cept then the glowing coffin shows up and out pops Dani. And she’s all feral, completely outta her mind after being separated from the hot springs for so long.”

Her mouth presses into a thin line. “And then she, well… She charged these here folks, and Ned, he tackles her. Thing is, you get a buncha scared folks with guns in one place, well, someone’s bound to get hurt. And tonight, that was Ned. He got shot, and by the time the ambulance got here it was too late. There wasn’t nothing any of us could do,” she looks over at Aubrey when she says that. “And that’s… that’s the whole story. I’m sorry,” she gives him a sympathetic look, “Y’alright, Duck?”

Duck says nothing, just nods sharply. Because how do you respond to something like that? What do you say when someone’s been ripped from your life and you can’t remember the last thing you said to them? What do you say? What can you say that would be enough to encompass the raw, gaping wound that takes the place of your heart, the way your stomach drops, when you think of all the things left unsaid? What do you say?

As it turns out, “Let’s go home,” is a pretty good start.

#i wrote this right after listening to ep 28 of amnesty and it's been sitting in my docs ever since so i figured i'd post it here #enjoy the angst y'all #ned chicane #duck newton #aubrey little #mama #taz amnesty #taz fic #taz amnesty spoilers #my writing tag #angst #grief #found family #fanfiction #fanfic #baby's first fanfic #writers on tumblr

63 notes · View notes

nubnubblr · 5 years

Text

If You Do .16

CHARLIE

"I think that I should just cancel, it's not like I can even play," Sam stated.

He was lying on the lounge, the same place he had been all week. Not that I blamed him, he couldn't go to work and it's not like he could do much else, but he had fallen into a depressed state and that wasn't allowed to happen. Sam is always positive and happy, even if the rest of us weren't.

"Get dressed," I stated.

"Why?" he sighed.

"Because I think you need to go,"

"So I can stand there and watch everyone else play?"

"I'm pretty sure Haka wants your voice in his band, besides I think it would be good for you to be able to be a part of music while you're waiting to play,"

"His name is Leo,"

"Just get dressed, what's the worse that could happen? You decide you don't want to?" I challenged. He let out another sighed getting up.

"Fine,"

"Be quick about it, I've got dance rehearsal tonight,"

"You've had dance rehearsal every night this week," he retorted.

"Because I have a show tomorrow," I shot back.

I've also had the past two weeks off from the dance company because of the douche trio and their antics. I felt like I was behind, even if I was told I didn't have to come in ever night.

SAM

"This is where he lives?" Charlie frowned.

"It's the address he gave me," I shrugged.

"How exactly does he afford this place?"

"I'm pretty sure he and his friend own it,"

"He owns it? But he looks like a gypsy. I was expecting a bus,"

"I think his family is loaded,"

"Of course," she rolled her eyes.

She had a, not so secret, disdain for trust fund kids. Mostly because they have money they don't have to work for, but Leo was different, he was actually trying to work towards his dream, he just had the luxury of having the cushion cash flow while he did so.

Leo came through the white gate and open the larger white gate to let us up the driveway. He smiled and waited for us to get out of the car.

"How's the shoulder?" was the first thing he said.

"It's nice to see you too Haka," Charlie frowned at him disapprovingly.

"I see Thea is making sure my new nickname is catching on,"

"You are the one who performed the haka in the middle of a bar," I pointed out.

"This is true," he nodded

"So where is this band room?" Charlie asked.

"Follow me," he gestured.

We followed him back through the small white gate which led into the backyard. There was a stepping stone path that forked out leading to the house and what looked to be the garage. In this back corner of the yard was a school bus, I withheld my laugh as Charlie pointed to it giving me an 'I told you so' look.

We turned towards the garage which looked longer than it needed to be. Once we'd followed him through the side door I realised that there was a wall through the centre dividing it into two spaces. We walked through the garage section which was big enough for three cars but only sat one. He led us through another door which brought us to the band room.

"Charlie, Sam, this is Jeff and Dylan," he introduced.

THEA

"I need 5 kilos of potatoes peels, 3 kilos of carrots peeled and diced, and a kilo of onions diced," the head chef stated pointing at each of us as he listed the prep items.

"Yes chef," we stated in unison.

He left to give other students instructions. Cory started on the carrots, Benji took the onions, and I was awarded with peeling 5 kilos of potatoes. Technically I didn't even have to be here, but I like taking the extra days just in case something happens and I have to miss a day. Benji and Cory were just behind.

"So, how are talks with that guy going?" Benji wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"We are actually going out to lunch tomorrow," I nodded.

"Want us to come?" Cory offered.

"No, I'm an adult I can go on a date without back up," I frowned.

"Charlie's going with you isn't she?" Benji stated.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"You're so predictable," Cory shook his head at me.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes.

"On another note, how are the birthday plans going?"

"Don't even go there," I sighed shaking my head.

"Not well?"

"There are so many people coming and so much food to make, I swear I'm going to spend most of the night cooking, I miss my mum," I whined.

"Are your parents coming down for it?"

"They can't get time off," I shook my head.

"What about your brother?"

"Nope," I cleared my throat.

It wasn't really unusual since they move up north I haven't seen them much, maybe once or twice a year, if I'm lucky. And never on my birthday, is usually the busiest time for them because it's so close to Christmas. But it still sucked, I miss them normally, but even more so on my birthday.

"Well we'll be there," Cory nudged my shoulder with his.

"I'm sure we can be as annoying at your brother," Benji smirked, tears starting to fall from his eyes.

"Awe, bro, are you getting emotional?" Cory teased.

"It's just so sad," he fake sobbed.

"Chef is going to tell you off if you don't stop," I shook my head.

"He's busy giving out tasks," Cory shrugged.

"Thea is right, I'm okay with you guys taking but you need to be serious, especially around knives," Chef was standing behind us arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes chef," Benji nodded.

"Told you," I mumbled.

CHARLIE

He wasn't sure, he was definitely reluctant about standing in front of a microphone stand without a guitar. He was fidgety, probably because he's not used to having his hands empty. He looked at me and seemed to calm down a bit, taking a deep breath he nodded at Haka who started to play a melody, Jeff and Dylan joined in and a few seconds later Sam started to sing.

It didn't take him long to fee his comfortable, his hands were on the microphone stand, fingers tapping along to the beat. He even smiled, this was definitely something he should be doing, not just while he's waiting for his shoulder to heal.

"So what do you think?" Haka asked the room, he was already sure he wanted Sam to join the band.

"Good," Jeff nodded, Dylan agreed. The spoke in broken English and it was honestly so cute.

"Sam?" he asked hopeful.

"It was fun," he nodded still unsure.

"So are you joining our band?"

"I have to think about it a little more," he shrugged.

"Okay," Haka nodded disappointedly.

"We have to go to the hospital for a check-up, but I'll call you when I decide," Sam stated. His appointment wasn't for another hour an a half but I didn't say anything, it was clear he wanted to leave which just confused me.

SAM

It was fun, and I enjoyed it until I realised how much I already missed playing guitar. It was like being hit by a bus, and I just wanted to leave.

"Oh, okay," Leo nodded confused.

He offered us something to eat before we left but I really just wanted to get out of here, I felt like I couldn't breathe. It took all I had to not run to the car, Charlie followed behind me with a concerned look plastered on her face.

"What's wrong?" she frowned as we pulled out of his driveway.

"Nothing," I shook my head, I felt really stupid.

"Right," she raised an eyebrow. I sighed.

"I didn't think it would be that hard to not play guitar, I felt like I was suffocating,"

"Playing guitar as always been your outlet, it's how you vent and you haven't been able to do that so you've been bottling everything. It's no wonder you felt that way," she stated.

"I guess,"

"You just need a new outlet,"

"Like what?"

"Why don't you start writing music again? Your new band is going to need original songs," she hinted.

"You think I should join?"

"Yes,"

"Because it will stop me from moping on your couch?"

"No, because you enjoyed it because it's something that I think you suit and works for you,"

"But also the couch thing," she smirked.

"So what now?"

"I don't know, your appointment isn't for another hour or so," she shrugged.

"Food?"

"I know this great cafe,"

"Hey, there brother of mine," Coco walked through the door.

"How was your time down south?" I asked not looking up from my clipboard.

"12, 7, 42, 69," Jae laughed.

He had been sprouting out random numbers for the last 10 minutes because I was doing stocktake and writing up the new order. He thought it would be fun to see how many times he could make me restart counting. So far, I'd had to start again twice.

"It was fun, sorry we stayed longer than planned, you didn't need my help here did you?"

"Nope, if I opened this place on the condition of you help then I would be a little screwed what with your job involving a lot of travel,"

"Right, so how is Sam?"

"He's okay, in a bit of a self-pity state, he's been sitting on the girls' lounge for the past week. He hasn't been up for much so,"

"He was supposed to have band practice today, I'm not sure he went through," Jae shrugged before continuing with counting.

"Bro, would you shut up?" I frowned.

"Did you screw up again?" He smirked.

"Can you go and distract him or something, I need to get this done," I sighed.

"Why don't I do that? You're irritable and likely to make a mistake," she slid the clipboard towards her.

"You think you can block him out?"

"I've spent half of my life blocking him out," she commented, I frowned.

"What? He's super irritating," she shrugged.

CHARLIE

I parked the car and we walked into the cafe. Skye who was behind the counter smiled up at me she was new and really only got called into work when me or Jae couldn't come in.

"Hey, I thought you worked this morning,"

"I did, we were just in the area and thought we would stop by for a coffee," I shrugged.

"Do you want to make it?" she asked.

"Sure," I nodded as Whitney walked through the door.

"Oh thank god," she sighed when she saw me.

"Is your boss being a pain?" I raised an eyebrow.

"He was fine this morning, then we had a double booking with important meetings because he has temporary receptionists, it was a mess and he couldn't even have coffee because you finish at 12," she vented.

"Do you want me to make a few?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"I can do it," Skye smiled, I think she was trying to help.

"It's fine," I shook my head.

"But you're not supposed to be working," she frowned.

"My boss won't drink the coffee unless it's made by her," Whitney shrugged.

"Then why did you come in, know she had finished her shift?"

"Because the coffee cake you guys have he loves, so I figured if he couldn't have coffee, the cake would be a fair substitute,"

"Guess who makes the coffee cake," I smirked.

"You're like some kind of coffee wizard," she laughed.

"Not really," I shook my head.

"Is it weird that I know your work schedule?" she laughed to herself.

"I think is weird that your boss only drinks my coffee," I shrugged.

"Oh I'm so sorry, can I get you anything?" Skye asked Sam who had sat in one of the waiting chairs.

"I've got it," I shook my head.

"Oh he's your boyfriend?" she raised an eyebrow. She had flirty eyes, I didn't like it, so instead of saying no.

"Yes," I stated seriously giving her a warning look. She backed down pretty quickly.

"I didn't think you had a boyfriend," Whitney hummed.

"Now you know, how many coffees do you want?"

"Can I have 3, no wait, four,"

"It's 2 in the afternoon, what does he need with four coffees?"

"He has to stay late to get stuff done, he has plans tomorrow and can't come I to the office," she shrugged.

"It must be nice having your own business and deciding when to work or not," I commented.

"I'm pretty sure he's going on a date his friend is setting him up,"

"Maybe he'll get laid and be less high strung"

"Here's hoping," she laughed.

"How about I get you some coffee cake too?"

"I love you," she laughed.

THEA

Sam and Charlie still weren't home at 6.30 so I was guessing that Charlie had just taken him with her to dance practice. I still hadn't asked her about coming to lunch but I was pretty sure I knew how I could get her there without actually asking g. She probably wouldn't be happy about it but from the photos I've seen of Mark, she'll be fine with it after a while.

It was almost 9 when o started cooking dinner. She would have finished practice at nine and it only takes about half an hour to drive from there to here.

I decided o making fried rice because it took a while to make and also Sam loves rice so I k ow he would eat it. He's been a little off food lately which for Sam is really weird but I guess with everything he's been through lately is a little expected.

He had been staying with us since his surgery because for starters is more sanitary here, and the boys would be any help with changing Sam's dressing, they would try but they would just mess around or be grossed out by it. Also, there was no way Charlie was going to let him out of her sights for a while. The other two tried to stay here too, but she just kicked them out.

"I smell rice," Sam exhaled as he walked through the door, followed by Charlie. Volk bolted down the hallway, instead of jumping up like he normally does he nudge his head against Sam's hand like he knew Sam was injured.

"Yes you do," I nodded turning the stove off.

"Great, I'm starving," he picked up a bowl.

"How did practice go?" I asked casually, he sort of shrugged but didn't actually answer. I looked over at Charlie who just shook her head as if to tell me to let it go.

"Do you want some?" I asked her.

"Do we have seaweed?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Duh," I waved the snack packets in the air.

"Then yes," she nodded.

I waited until we were sitting in the lounge room eating before I mentioned anything. That way it came out more casual and she wouldn't think that I was up to something.

"You have your dance show tomorrow night huh?"

"Yep,"

"What time do you have to be there?"

"5, why?" She frowned.

"I was just thinking that after the past few weeks we've had we could have a bit of a girls day, we could go see Kiwoo and get out hair done, you could get your nails done, maybe a bit of shopping and some food?"

"Don't call it a girls day," she shook her head.

"Dudes day?"

"It would save me having to do my hair and makeup," she nodded.

"And if you don't want to wear your stage outfit then you can just bring it I your bag," I shrugged.

"That would mean carrying a bag. Pass. But sure," she nodded.

"So we'll leave here at about 12 tomorrow?" I suggested.

"What am I supposed to do?" Sam frowned.

"We can drop you off at the bar?" I shrugged.

"Or at Haka's," Charlie mumbled.

"You really think I should do it?" He sighed.

"Yes, I do,"

"I'll think about it," he sighed.

SAM

"Can you guys drop me off at the bar on your way?" I asked.

"Sure," Charlie walked out of her room dressed in a fishnet bodysuit under a cropped top and short that wear barely visible under the shirt she had tied around her waist. Like, Damn. I mean she is always attractive, but when she is stage ready, I mean, wow.

"Ready to go?" Thea followed.

"You're pretty dressed up for a girls day," I commented.

"What's the point in getting your hair and makeup done just to be wearing g shabby clothes?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Point taken," I nodded.

"Let's go," She chirped.

The dropped me off, asked me the usual motherly questions, well Thea did. Charlie just told me not to do anything stupid.

BM was stocking the shelves when I walked in, he seemed a little surprised to see me.

"Hey man, how did you get here?" He frowned.

"The girls dropped me off, they're heading I to Perth for a girls day," I shrugged.

"Sure they are," he laughed nodding.

"Seriously, that's what they're doing,"

"That's what Thea told Charlie they're doing,"

"I'm confused,"

"Thea is having lunch with that guy she's been talking too and she didn't want to go along e but she figured Charlie would just say no, this a girls day," he explained.

"Won't Charlie feel a little third wheeled?"

"He is bringing a friend too, but we all know how Charlie feels about being forced into something,"

"She gone be mad," Jae walked down the stairs.

"Should we text her?"

"She won't get it, she has a dance show today," Jae stated.

Charlie generally ignored all calls and texts when she had a show, mainly so she couldn't be called into work or something. If there was something important they would have Thea's number.

"I feel bad for the guy that has to deal with her," BM smirked.

"She's not that bad," I frowned.

"Are you kidding me? Not only is she being forced into something, shes being tricked into being forced. The attitude that guy is going to get,"

"And I bet you she is in her stage outfit because she's too stubborn to carry a bag," Jae stated.

It hadn't registered in my head that she was wearing her stage outfit, which wasn't really too different from what she normally wears, but she was showing more.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I frowned.

"Nothing really," he shrugged.

"Stop stirring the pot," BM shook his head.

"What?" Jae raised an eyebrow.

"So what brings you home?" BM turned to me.

"I just thought I would come and hang,"

"Right,"

"My lyric books are here," I said as I headed upstairs.

They were in a box under my bed, I had never been so glass to have a loft style bed. I slid the box over to the sitting area, also under my bed, and sat down.

CHARLIE

"Bitch, did you get a new job?" Eddy raised an eyebrow at me when we walked in.

"What are you trying to say?" He just pulled a face.

"She has a dance show tonight," Thea stated.

"No kidding," he laughed.

"Seriously?" Thea sighed.

"What?"

"Your friend is here," she pointed at Yuri.

"Why are you surprised?" I raised an eyebrow.

Yuri was best friends with MinSung, who also happened to be dating Kiwoo. Yuri noticed us as smirked walking over. Thea let out another sigh, she still wasn't over that face that he had slept with us both.

"Hey girls," he winked.

"Hey," I nodded.

"Yuri," Thea stated before walking away, he just let out a slight laugh.

"What brings you here?" He asked.

"What do you think?

"Dance show?" He raised an eyebrow looking me up and down.

"Yeah,"

"Maybe I should come," he shrugged.

"Hey," MinSung joined us.

"Hey," I nodded.

"You kind of look like a hooker,"

"And you're dressed kind of like a dick,"

"Oh, actually he is a dick," Yuri smirked.

"Charlie," Kiwoo smiled.

"Hey,"

"You two aren't bothering my clients are you?"

"Not just dressed like one then," Minsung joked.

"Shut up," I frowned.

THEA

"Go have lunch and get out of my salon," Kiwoo ushered them out.

"See you at home babe," Minsung kissed him.

"Where is mine?" Yuri puckered.

"You already had him once. He's mine now," Kiwoo playfully glared at him.

"You got told," I smirked.

"Yuri is kind of like you, he has slept with everyone," Charlie stated.

"Hey, we are nothing alike, besides Minsung has slept with more people in this room,"

"Not true, Yuri as slept with everyone we know in here except Kiwoo," she corrected me.

"Seriously?" I frowned at Eddy.

"Bitch, don't you come for me. You've seen him," he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"So what are we doing today?"

"I want something different, I don't know what but you know me," I shrugged.

"And you?"

"Colour fix, makeup and maybe my nails,"

"Let's get started,"

2 notes · View notes

robininthelabyrinth · 6 years

Text

Fic: The Beginning of Wisdom - Chapter 9 (Ao3 link)

Fandom: Flash, Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Leonard Snart (Len) & Leonard Snart (Leo), Len Snart/Mick Rory, Leo Snart/Mick Rory, Len Snart/Mick Rory/Leo Snart, Leo Snart/Ray Terrill, Len Snart/Barry Allen

Summary: In which Leonard Snart is twins.

(the life and times and loves of Len and Leo Snart)

—————————————————————————————————–

"Have you seen him?" Leo asked quietly, after they’d held each other for some time. They both had excellent internal clocks, of course, but they never functioned right when they were together; that time always seemed to go on forever and yet never be enough. "Mick, I mean?"

"Of course I've seen him," Len snapped, though his vehemence was muted. "I go there practically every day –"

"As yourself?"

"...as Leonard."

"So, not really."

"No," Len agreed. "He always knows it's me, of course, but I don't feel like I deserve to be me around him."

Leo held him close. "You do."

"I hurt him."

"He's forgiven you."

"I haven't forgiven me," Len said. "And if I were you, or Mick, I wouldn't."

"Luckily, you're neither of us," Leo said, shaking his head. He knew that Len would never have held it against Leo or Mick if it had been him that'd been injured and they the cause, not for a second: it was only himself that he ever blamed for not taking the blow meant for another. "You should see him. As you."

"I'm trying," Len said.

I'm scared, he did not say.

"I'll come with you," Leo decided. "Both of us. That'll help."

Len pulled his head back and frowned at him. "The risk –" he started.

"Nothing we haven't dealt with before," Leo said. "Unimportant. We need – I need – to tell him about Ray, before anything else happens."

"Because Mick's first."

"You're first. Then Mick." Leo frowned. "And Lisa, but Lisa's on a whole different scale."

"Girl," Len agreed.

"Sister. I know plenty of perfectly nice, perfectly understandable girls."

"Yeah, and outta all of 'em, you like one: Lisa."

Leo decided not to dignify that (correct) statement with a response.

Mick, when he heard the story long after visiting hours that same night, burst out laughing.

"Don't do that," Len said crossly, rearranging his blankets and making sure his pillow was appropriately fluffed. "You'll hurt yourself."

"Stop fussing, boss," Mick said, cuffing him fondly upside the head. "My skin flexibility's back up, I can laugh all I want. And it is funny."

"It is not," Leo said. He might have been pouting.

"It really is," Mick said, shaking his head. "Don't worry, I don't mind. This Ray business, I mean."

"You – don't? You don't even know what my intentions towards him are!"

"You don't even know what your intentions towards him are," Mick pointed out. "That's what happens when you try to decide things using only half your brain."

Len smirked at Leo, who made a face back, conceding the point.

"And no, I really don't mind," Mick said. "You're a lot to handle, Leonard Snart; I always figured I'd have to share a piece of you one day. As long as he ain't awful..."

"He isn't," Leo said.

"Open to determination," Len said.

"'course, that does raise the question, don't it?" Mick continued thoughtfully.

Two sets of eyes blinked at him.

Mick settled down into his bed and reached out both hands, pulling an unresisting Leonard Snart down beside him, one on each side.

"I know this might be a new experience for you," he said, "but relationships are two-sided."

Another blink.

"He likes you, Number Two," Mick clarified. "But as you well know, that doesn't mean he'll like the boss. Lots more people like you than him, Two."

Leo frowned. It was true, of course, that he had many more acquaintances than Len – his industry supported that sort of thing more than Len's, as all of the backstabbing in the fashion world was purely metaphorical rather than very, very literal. And even before that, back in school, when people had known about them both, he had been the more popular because he had been the more charming and outgoing one...and yet...surely...

"Look at you," Mick laughed. "Each one of you with the same confused little wrinkle between your eyes. Did you guys really think that anyone you really cared about had to care about you – both of you – equally in return? Or would, just automatically?"

"Worked with you, didn't it?" Len grumbled.

“I��m not everyone.”

“It’s ‘ain’t not everyone’.”

“No, boss. It really isn’t, I swear. And anyway, atrocious grammar issues aside, you know that most people like just one person at a time, right?"

No.

Well, yes, but it didn't apply to them, surely?

"Besides," Mick continued. "I don’t see what the problem is, though: only one of you likes him, right? So what's it matter if he only likes one of you?”

“That’s not the point,” Len said.

"What a mess," Leo sighed.

"Can we even trust him enough to reveal the truth to him without him squealing?" Len asked.

"I think so," Leo said. "But I'm biased."

"I'll analyze him, then," Len said.

"Analyze," Leo said. "Not threaten."

"Fine."

"Before you get to putting the cart before the horse," Mick said dryly, "didn't the boss just scare him away?"

"Oh. Right. Crap."

Mick started laughing again.

The Leonards looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

(Leo noted approvingly how relaxed Len was with his head on Mick's shoulder, just the way it ought to be. They might not be fixed yet, but they were on their way, slowly but surely.)

Now, normally, they operated on a "he who screwed up is he who fixes it" approach, but in this instance they decided that Leo would probably have better luck sweet-talking Ray back into the job and thereby make himself available.

Leo sent flowers – Ray had once confessed that he liked them dreadfully, even if they were stereotypically girly – and an apology note, and asked Ray to meet him in his office.

Ray arrived with a smile.

"I know I said it in the note, but I really did want to apologize for what happened last time," Leo said.

"It's fine."

"It really isn't."

Ray shrugged. "No, it's – really, it's fine. Actually, to tell you the truth, I'd kind of been wondering when we'd get to see Hyde again."

Leo blinked. He hadn't been expecting that - nor did he know what to do about it. "Hyde? What do you mean?"

Ray had a way about him that when he blushed, he positively glowed. It was a Ray thing, not a model thing; by this point, Leo was familiar with enough models to say that with confidence.

He was glowing now.

"I – oh – er – you didn't know – I thought – can we forget I said that?"

"No," Leo said. "Please explain."

"It's just a joke," Ray said. "Among the models you use most. It's just, you know, you have mood shifts sometimes, you know, like, bipolar?"

"That's not how bipolar disorder works –"

"Right, I keep forgetting you did a BA in psych. You know what I mean, though, right? Sometimes you're an asshole with a heart of gold, sometimes you're a well-meaning sociopath with a friendly smile, Jekyll and Hyde."

Leo blinked. "Wait. Which one's Jekyll and which one's Hyde? They both sound – unflattering."

Ray's glow goes up by several watts.

"I mean, everyone has their own preference, honestly?" he said with a shrug. "The sociopath is Jeykll, because he's there more often - plus, you know, not really a sociopath, just charming as hell, but you can tell he's not really interested in anything you're saying or feeling, you know? - while the asshole is Hyde because we only see him once in a while. I usually prefer Jekyll, since I click really well with people who tend to be more distant and analytical about their emotions, but a lot of the models really like Hyde's whole aura-of-danger combined with a sort of secret-inaccessible-inner-friendliness thing. I don't know, it's just a bad joke. Models have a lot of those."

"Huh," Leo said.

"It doesn't mean anything," Ray said hastily. "It's not like I actually think you have an alternate personality or some sort of evil twin hidden in the closet –"

"I usually prefer the couch," Len, who had never been able to resist a good entrance line, said, poking his head up above said couch. "No one ever looks there."

Ray spun around and his jaw dropped.

His mouth moved, and sound came out, but it wasn't really coherent. His hands twitched in the air like baby birds that had just leapt out the nest and abruptly realized they never learned how to fly. He was utterly dumbfounded.

"I thought we agreed I was going to tell him," Leo said mildly. To be fair to Len, that had really been an irresistible set up.

Len smirked. "Hyde is better than Jekyll any day," he said with a shrug. "Do you know in the original movie version, it was pronounced GEE-kull instead of JEK-uhl?"

Leo, who had watched said original movie with Len, rolled his eyes at this bizarre attempt at flirting. Having found Mick at an early age, Len had never had to learn any flirting skills, real ones rather than the cons he ran on marks, nor had he ever had any interest in picking any skills in that field up – Leo was the one who interacted with people, after all, not Len, so why bother?

Len rolled his eyes back. He had no idea why Leo said his flirting was so terrible – puns and unnecessary movie trivia always seemed to work well for him, and the way Leo would sometimes cough down his hand that it was out of pity for a pretty face with an empty head was entirely uncalled for.

"There's two of you," Ray finally squeaked.

"Quick, this one," Len said.

"Shut up. You get yourself a quick one if you want one," Leo said. "I happen to prefer glowing."

"I noticed that..."

"There are two of you!"

"I think we broke him," Len said thoughtfully. "Oops. Sorry."

Leo gave Len a Look, receiving only a smirk in return.

(He'd never admit it, but he was maybe slightly regretting how he first reacted when Len brought Mick around. In his defense, he'd never thought that he'd be in the reverse situation – not that that was a defense.)

"Am I – is this a hallucination?" Ray demanded. "Did I get drunk and start seeing double or something? Are alternate universes real?!"

"I approve of that fact that that's your go-to thought about what's going on," Len said.

"No alternate universes," Leo said patiently. "Just twins."

"Identical twins," Len added. "In case you hadn't noticed."

"Very identical," Ray said faintly.

"To be fair, you and the other models managed to spot some differences, apparently, with your Jekyll and Hyde analysis," Leo said. He's still not entirely sure about what to do the 'well-meaning sociopath' part of that analysis. "Which puts you ahead of most people."

"Most police, certainly," Len drawled.

"But –" Ray said, clearly too distracted to pick up on Len's hint. "If you're twins – what's your name?"

They blinked at him.

"...Leonard Snart," Leo said. "That hasn't changed. Why would it have changed?"

"Then, what's his name?"

"Leonard Snart," Len said.

“I...what?”

"If it makes you feel better,” Len adds generously, “I go by Len while he goes by Leo. People get really insistent on using the nicknames for some reason.”

Even Lisa preferred them, though she did have a tendency to call them both Lenny that they thoroughly approved of.

"Oh," Ray said. "Is that why you got so angry when I called you Leo the other day? Because you were actually Len?"

"Long story," Leo said hastily.

"Which one of you –" Ray hesitated. "Never mind."

"I'm the one you've been interacting with," Leo said. "Not Len."

"I'm the one that pointed out that we’re married to Mick," Len said, a touch of acid in his voice. "Though, just so you know, we both consider ourselves bound by that."

"I see," Ray said faintly.

"Would you like a seat?" Leo asked, a little concerned that Ray was going to fall over. "You've had a shock."

"Yeah," Ray said, scrabbling for a chair. "Good idea."

"You can have some time to think about this –" Leo started, only for Len to interject, "But in the meantime, you can't tell anyone."

Ray nodded slowly. "Because – the police don't know?"

Leo gave Len another Look, this one triumphant. Len rolled his eyes – fine, maybe Ray wasn't as slow as previously assumed.

"That's right," Leo said.

"And – wait. All those times you've gotten stopped and questioned..."

"He wasn't lying when he said they had the wrong man," Len drawled, looking quite pleased. "Just not being entirely truthful, either."

"You're a thief?"

"A very good one."

"...oh. That's a lot to take in."

"Why don't you take a few days off to think about it?" Leo suggested. "I know this isn't exactly what you thought was going on."

"I mean, I think I always kinda thought you were a thief?" Ray said. "Some sort of James Bond-the Saint kind of deal, with the fashion stuff as a cover. I mean, that many policemen in that many countries can't all be wrong. I'm kind of happy you aren't, actually."

Leo smirked. This wasn't going as badly as he had feared.

"I think I will take those days off, though," Ray said, rubbing his face. "I – I mean, I knew you were with Rory, and I thought, you know, maybe you were polyamourous –"

"Or willing to cheat, at least," Len muttered, causing Ray to flush.

"– but I admit that I didn't consider – I didn't even think about there being two of you."

"Okay," Leo said. "Totally fine. You need processing time. Just, you know..."

"Don't mention it to anyone?"

"Right. Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I understand. I think."

Exit Ray, stage left.

"Well," Leo said. "That went – not unlike a trainwreck."

"Sure thing, Jekyll."

"Shut up, Hyde."

"What do we do if he only likes you?" Len asked, abruptly changing gears. "And not me?"

"I don't know," Leo confessed. "I mean, when I thought Mick was just yours, I figured he'd just take up some of your free time and I'd find someone to fill mine, but now we both have Mick as well...there's a sadly limited number of hours in the day."

"Well, you were doing a pretty good job of interacting with him mostly during your work and a little bit after work hours –"

"Yes, but presumably he'll want more at some point. Wouldn't you?"

"We'll see, I guess," Len said, a little doubtfully. "When Mick and I are out on a job, maybe..?"

"Ah-ha!" Leo exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Len. "You are planning on working with Mick again, despite everything."

Leo made a face. He hated it when Leo was right, but he thought to himself that perhaps he was. Len had somehow slid back into thinking of jobs as Len-and-Mick instead of just his own, all without him noticing.

The healing power of time.

Leo, for his part, was just happy that Len would stop working with that awful pair of psychotic lovers he sometimes teamed up with, Scudder and Dillon. Leo never trusted them about anything, and certainly not with Len's safety, but he trusted them even less now that Len didn't have Mick to back him up.

"Not until he's all the way better," Len said, conceding the point. And yes, damnit Leo, he'd do something about Scudder and Dillon; there was no need to look at him with that half-worried-half-smug expression. "At least not any jobs in Central. Maybe some outside as a way of warming up..."

Leo grinned.

Len, realizing, grinned back.

Neither of them could resist a good set-up.

"You know,” Leo drawled, relishing the moment. “If you’re looking for an expert in warming things up –"

Len threw one of the couch pillows at Leo, which they both agreed was the correct response.

#dccoldwave #coldray #leonard snart #ray terrill #mick rory #leo snart #len snart #my fic #beginning of wisdom

23 notes · View notes

thcrnthrcne · 5 years

Text

➰ ( RACHEL WEISZ/NATALIA DYER, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that ASTRID ?! you know them, right? they are the UNKNOWN year old SEELIE QUEEN !! they’re known for being INTELLIGENT & CHARISMATIC - but i’d be careful if i were you because they’re also MANIPULATIVE & RUTHLESS.

astrid is really feckin old, she honestly can’t remember how old she is

her mother was queen before her and their relationship was....?? fractious ?? she’s the one that taught astrid to view everyone as a pawn in her games and that men were just expendable sperm donors and cannon fodder. however, she was incredibly close with her younger sister and did everything she could to protect her sister from her mother’s cruelty. her sister (before her children) was the one person she truly loved.

she has left faerieland several times over the centuries, influencing mortals to write about her existence and she features in a lot of literature. she’s pretty proud, so she loves it when the ants praise her.

her favourite kind of game is instilling madness in people and messing with people’s heads. probably because being this ancient has made her a lil kooky herself.

she has never married and doesn’t believe romantic love is logical. she does love her wc (consort #1) but if push came to shove, she would still choose her kingdom over him and he knows that.

as the queen, it is a responsibility of hers to continue their species. as such she has felt vast pressure to have children. it is very difficult for seelies to have children and so despite her long life she only has a handful of biological kids. she has, much to her buried grief, lost several children to miscarriage, stillbirth and had to give away some as changelings due to being sickly. her children are the only thing she professes to love openly and will act emotionally about. their fathers she has nothing to do with, she uses them for their‘provisions’ and then discards them.

astrid is always, always, always playing a game. and she most definitely has aspirations to involve herself in the mundane realm.

astrid has two faces. she refers to one as her true face but frankly, she’s not certain it’s the one she was born with. this is rachel weisz fc !! she always uses this face around her children, around consort #1, and around a handful of trusted friends/advisors. her other face is her public face - she uses this to appear naïve, trustworthy, gentle, and to be underestimated. this is natalia dyer fc !! everyone else will see her face as this.

astrid was generally staying out of the interest drama with the clave and the unknown big bad. to be honest, she was enjoying watching it all play out. occasionally, she threw a few tips leo’s way but for the most part kept her hands clean. until her sister was blamed for leo’s work. she holds the clave accountable - especially since they executed her without cause. but instead of waging war, she has instead ramped up her allegiance to leo. she provided the magic required to suppress the other leaders powers ( though no one knows this apart from leo ).

#wilshire:intro #not much has changed?#just a couple bits added

3 notes · View notes

scared-aquarius · 7 years

Text

me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence.

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration...... it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it.

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.

(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a * * * * * * ... lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.)

5K notes · View notes

angelicteeth · 6 years

Note

hi our boys are disgusting

god fuck yeah they are

Aristotle: He/Him - Leo - 18 - 6′4

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? blueee!!!!!!!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? he loves art books! his mom used to show them to him and he’s collected them ever since. would also like to collect daggers/knives/swords bc he thinks they’re neat 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothing 4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? ohhhh this guys 100% a metal head. leather jackets, spikes, ripped jeans, chains- necklaces and wallet, vans or boots, lots n lots of patches/pins- the whole ordeal! typically only wears reds, blacks, whites, and dark shades. muted colors. 5. What is your OC’s first memory? he was around 4 or 5 and his mother asked him to bake a cake with her, and he agreed, of course. they made a giant 5 layer red velvet cake with chocolate, caramel, and peanut butter chips in between and chocolate fudge drizzled on top/off the sides. they made a HUGE mess in the kitchen and all over themselves and he cherishes this memory so sooo much. 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? black panthers!!!!! he also loves dogs a lot… he? HATES?? butterflies ???7. What element would your OC be? oh boy fire 8. What is your OC’s theme song? uhhh anything Heavy Metal9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? noooooo, i dont rlly like doing this edrfghu but! he has a deep voice, its warm and deep and kinda ? sultry? idk 10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? wrath. 11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting!!! learning about history/going to museums, annnnnnd does his bf count? LOL12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? uhhh relatively patient? definitely depends. he’s VERY hot-headed but doesn’t ‘explode’ often 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, and latino! he’s also human wsedrftg14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? fucking LOVES cheese??? and big warm pretzels… CINNAMON ROLLS! hates olives ??? and most fish 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he’d really want a big cat, doesn’t matter what… just a Big Boy16. What does your OC smell like? warm, cinnamon maybe but also musky and woodsy… but he sometimes just likes smelling Clean and like semi typical guy cologne ??? or just Expensive smelling cologne,,, idk he always smells really fucking good sedfgh17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? uhhh right Now he’s just graduated high school and issss looking for work… doesn’t really know what he wants to be, honestly. he’s still trying to figure everything out 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? he fears losing completely everything he loves, specifically his boyfriend and his brother. a weakness is how hard he is on himself, and how much he isolates/pushes people away when he’s low. a strength is just how warm and caring he is. how much he loves. even if he doesn’t always see himself as strong, he is. he really, really is19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? h e a v y m e t a l h e ‘ s a f u c k i n g m e t a l h e a d i havent looked too into it so i don’t know about songs, i WILL look into it at some point20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live on this hell planet, sadly 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? the death of his mom… and his anger… he blames himself for her death and hes struggling hard with it, since his father doesn’t help at all and blames him, too. a pet peeve he has is people leaving doors or cabinets open, it makes him so mad dftgyhu just fucking close them 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? heee was a good one ? hardest subject for him was english :/ mainly got A’s! except for english 23. What is a random fact about your OC? he cannot bake or cook anything EXCEPT breakfast foods 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he… didnt see a future until he met his boyfriend, nathan… after his mom died, so did everything else 25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber wanted to play the sims and she told me to create 2 characters but i said hey! i do one, you do one! and then we were fucking idiots and turned them into ocs dfyudfhjkl; its soooo recent that nothings changed LOL im still developing him, as i am with all of my ocs 26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? nathan… he gave him a second chance at life, he gave him a reason to want to stay alive, a future. also jordan is super super important to him they bffs xoxo (edit: dan n ty also mean the world to him) at his current age… his dad. their relationship does eventually get better but right now, hes the least important but has such a big impact on him it hurts27. What kind of childhood did your character have? A GOOD GOOD GOOOOOOD ASS CHILDHOOD up until 16 it was soooo good… his moms his best friend, he n his brother hung out all the time, and his dad wasn’t so angry or drunk28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he picks at his nails when hes nervous, but it doesnt happen very often so its nothing he tends to worry about. heee doesn’t stim but fucking loves paint mixing videos those are his shit uhhh no, no addictions… unless you literally count his bf wertyui29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “If You Sit On My Grave I WILL Haunt You” or “Long Live The King” because he’s a stupid fucking leo30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yesssssssss he wants to marry nathan So Bad sedrftyui he’s unsure about kids, though… kinda just wants a couple pets 31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his mom died on his 16th birthday driving to come pick him up. anything involving nathan… doesn’t even matter what it is, he just loves him so much32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? his mom back33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? uhhh probablyyyyy not… he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he actually killed someone,,,34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? uh he likes concerts n shit but its not like,,, a social group thing… he doesnt do that shit…35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? very vivid imagination, is often found daydreaming when hes not painting or with his bf. not really worried, honestly, kinda just lives in the moment and doesnt give a single god damn shit about a thing except on the bad days36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he wants nathan the most, out of everything- and he has him… but if he didn’t he would do anything for him. anything37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? pees with the door open esdrtyuio38. What would your character do with a million dollars? ooohhhh spoil the shit out of nathan, get a tattoo or 2, and buy art stuff!39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? eggs, leftovers, milk, orange juice, bacon, butter, and syrup. a couple of canvases, paint brushes, the shirt he slept in the night before. a couple of single issue comics, the graphic novel hes reading, a bottle of water, and a tiny art canvas. random plastic, paper, maybe an empty water bottle or 240. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? out with nathan, probably on a date. ripped jeans, dark red sweater, black shirt, boots, wallet chain, necklace chain, and a single dangly earring in his left ear 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? yell, scream, get super physical. he’s burning, he’s burning, he’s burning. make it stop, better yet, let him thrive 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? nope! he’s clean for now43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? oooooh uh he says some Shit when he’s pissed, especially to his dad44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine? doesn’t really care about it unless its from nathan. oooor if youre just being a shithead hell tell you off45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he enjoys it, wouldn’t mind it at all tbh46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? fuck, yeah. he’d do something stupid to it to see if it works and then display it in his room or give it to his bf47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? hellllll yeaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh. everything, anything48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? his mom was his best friend and the reason why he is the way he is. his dad was a good man, but now hes a stupid angry drunk who blames ari for his mothers death. its affected him positively and negatively, hes loving and passionate like his mother but insecure and doubtful because of his father49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? d o n o t l e t h i m h a v e a l o t o f c a n d y p l e a s e 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? would probably elope with nathan, do some crazy shit, and hope to god he doesn’t actually fucking die

Jordan: He/Him - Sagittarius - 19 - 6′2

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? light green2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? stamps, stickers, beanies, anything aquatic-themed, and tarot cards/witchy stuff!3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? bananas…4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? lazy type clothes, very sluggish. lots of oversized cardigans, hoodies, and sweaters. baggy shirts, but he religiously wears jeans. likes chains but preferably small ones, and usually only wallet chains. likes wearing a ring on each thumb and if hes Feelin it a couple more! punkish basically 5. What is your OC’s first memory? spying on his brother and dad training outside in the barn6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? he has a giant soft spot for cows but his favorite is whale sharks!!! he doesn’t really like frogs 7. What element would your OC be? water! but with Slight fire8. What is your OC’s theme song? something slow and sad, probably 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? no! his voice is soft and low, like a lullaby. very warm and comforting, but also a lil husky10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy/lust/greed wsedfg11. What are your OC’s hobbies? reading, using tarot cards, organizing his stamps/stickers, watching documentaries, and making sure aristotle doesn’t do anything Stupid12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s pretty patient but he’s also pretty hot headed. he Will lash out when angry :/13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, bisexual, white (russian/american) also a human sedryui14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loooovvveeessss chocolate chip waffles! and breakfast foods in general. hates peas and green beans 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a cowwwww… they remind him of his mom dfghj16. What does your OC smell like? clean but ? kinda minty!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he currently works at a little bookshop/coffeeshop! he likes it but he wants to do something more when he’s graduated from college. 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? his father and crickets. how emotionally attached he gets to people. how warm and soft he is, he never stops caring for others 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? goth, heavy metal, sad/emo shit20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he live here Binch21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his whole family besides his father is dead and he’s all alone with nobody to turn to. he h a t e s crunching noises. so much. also fucking HATES when people poke holes in shit just STop. 22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? actually really really good, even though he looks like a fucking slacker esdrftgyhu probably got all A’s23. What is a random fact about your OC? he always has his fingernails and toenails painted black or dark red/purple24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? fuck man he doesn’t wanna live hes so fucking Tired his dark circles are permanent but ari makes life worth living sdfg25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? …once upon a time amber and i made a gang au with ari n nathan and promptly made jordan for the Shits and Giggles but it turns out i fell in love and way too deep making his character, thanks!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? aristotle, probably, because he assumes his mom is dead. least is his dad whos a fucking asshole murdering cuck27. What kind of childhood did your character have? uhhhh Not Good ill tell you that. his father only married and brought his mom to russia so she could give him kids, preferably boys. first was nikolai, second was kazimir jordan, and lastly was feliks. they were all 2 years apart, making nikolai and feliks 4, so they were all close in age and played together often. his father was most proud of nikolai but feliks had been showing signs of possibly exceeding all of their expectations. kazimir was last in everything, but he was his mothers favorite. he’ll never forgive his father for torturing him and killing everyone he loved. 28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? he often picks at his nail polish, or the skin around his nails. definitely fidgets with his hands often. doesn’t stim but follows a lot of soap carving and squishy videos, also likes bread/cooking ones. he’s kind of addicted to red bulls but he’s cutting back and resorting to coffee, which he drinks black29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? “hell’s waiting for me so watch your back”30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? maybe married but almost Definitely no kids. no thanks. xoxo31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his father dragged him into the barns once after he accidentally spilled something over an ‘important’ paper so his father branded him with a cross on his side. his mother used to braid his hair with baby’s breath in it when theyd play out in the field, just her and the 3 boys running around, having fun. it was peaceful, bliss32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? to tell his mother he was sorry and that he’ll never stop loving her33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? no, he’s seen what killing someone does to people34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont really like this question edrtyu35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? hes so tired all the time hes often in the clouds, never really focusing. daydreams a lot to make it through each day, pretending hes someone hes not. hoping that his mother is actually still alive, and that he doesnt have to keep reliving memories. they wont stop fading, he keeps getting them jumbled. he just wants to make more with her, be with her one last time36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? his moooooooooom, he’d do anything for her37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to turn door knobs twice before actually opening a door 38. What would your character do with a million dollars? that’s so overwhelming to him but probably pay off college shit sdfghj debt is So Scary 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? yogurt, water bottles, red bull, orange soda, and some strawberries. a pair of jeans and boxers and random books hes checked out from the library. a half empty can of red bull, the book hes currentl reading, a beanie, and a cute little jar of jelly beans ari got him. garbage can has crumbled up balls of paper, empty red bull cans, empty bottle of soda, and an old textbook.40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? probably aristotle and nathan to a concert/out to eat. wears black jeans, a baggy red and black striped sweater with a black shirt underneath, boots or vans, and prolly a wallet chain + his thumb rings41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he screams and yanks on his hair fgyuhlj;k42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? heee has a cross on his side, and a few Light scars on his face- over his bottom lip, on his forehead and on the left side of his cheek/jaw. a couple on his back and arms as well most of them are from his father…43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he’s never said anything Out Loud but in his head he says shit all the time dxgfhgjhjlio hes a snarky son of a gun44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? he will go home and Cry about it later 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? eh its Ok46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? hes pretty paranoid about it and probably shows it to ari like ‘bitch what the FUCK’47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he doodles mindlessly when hes bored in class 48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? uhhhh his dad is a big Cuck but his mom is an Angel and the best person he’s ever met. this has fucked him over hard bc hes father took her away from him and now he has nothing left so hes an anxious, paranoid Mess49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he l o v e s candy pls50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? Kill Him Now

Tyler: He/Him - Pisces - 22 - 5′7

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? baby blue and pink!2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? nail polish, lamb stuffed animals, comics, seashells, and washi tapes 3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? nothin4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? he likes soft colors, pastel. sweaters are his favorite but he also likes long sleeved shirts. dresses pretty feminine, isn’t a fan of dark colors on himself unless its his boyfriends clothes5. What is your OC’s first memory? when he was around 4 or 5 he was riding his bike when he hit a rock and went flying forward, causing him to scrape his knees and his nose to bleed 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? l o v e s l a m b s and snails, doesn’t really like salamanders 7. What element would your OC be? w a t e r 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something soft and not too upbeat 9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a very smooth and kind of feminine voice ? but its masculine enough to not misgender him,,,10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? envy???11. What are your OC’s hobbies? painting his nails, drawing/sketching, reading comics and graphic novels, watching documentaries, and journaling!12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? very patient and rarely hot headed, gets more agitated or annoyed 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? male, gay, white human boy14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? would Die for milkshakes he loves them so fucking much, isnt a big fan of hamburgers/beef in general 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? a lamb or sheep he is so infatuated with them. they are so so soooo cute 16. What does your OC smell like? strawberries and cream!17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? heee currently works odd hours at a gas station, it’s definitely not his dream job but its not super awful… most of the time. he wants to go to art school, actually, to learn to make jewelry and to learn how to do more with his art18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? abandonment and ultimate loneliness. he’s really self conscious but he loves with all hes got and he loves so much, and so hard19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? bubblegum pop, kpop, jpop, and some indie music!20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? he here 21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? he’s self conscious and in recovery for self harm/an eating disorder but he’s doing really well! its still hard but he’s pushing through… he hates having chipped nails drftugyihuo as soon as one chips, even a little, he repaints them as soon as he can22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? he was a nerd he got straight A’s and actually enjoyed school kinda erdtfyuio but only because he loves to learn, not the actual people or atmosphere 23. What is a random fact about your OC? is really interested in astrology and loves reading his horoscope 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? he’s honestly trying to still figure that out but the more time he spends with his boyfriend, the more he wants to live and have a happy future with him25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? amber made dan, dan needed a love interest, tada!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? daaaaaannnn, his boyfriend, nathan his best friend (+ari) annnnnnd uh ? nobody really ??? 27. What kind of childhood did your character have? he had a pretty alright childhood, kind of lonely…28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? plays with his ears if he’s super nervous, really fucking loves slime to stim and help him calm down- or chews on something29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? something gay, probably 30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? yes and yes!!! he wants to get married and have a family with dan :331. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? dan got into a bad bar fight once, he was having a shitty day and the guy was being an absolute douchebag asshole and tyler wasn’t there to help him or stop him and it was just… bad… once dan took him to a petting zoo to meet and pet some sheep and he cried because it was quite possibly the nicest thing anyones ever done for him and then the dumbass also set up a picnic for afterwards and he fucking bawled again stupid gay saps32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? the funds for college esdrtf33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? nope he is a soft crybaby 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? i dont LIKE this fucking q smfh35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he daydreams a lot, yeah, and hes almost always worried because his anxiety is an absolute bitch but hes working on it36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? he just wants dan and to go to art school37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he has to say goodnight to all of his stuffed animals before bed every night sdfgfgghj38. What would your character do with a million dollars? a r t s c h o o l39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? strawberries, mangos, chocolate almond milk, leftover food from a restaurant he went to with dan, and some chocolate syrup. nothing, he has to keep his room clean always. nightstand has a graphic novel and book hes currently reading, a note/poem from dan with a small lamb he got him, and a bottle of peach tea. 40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? somewhere really really fancy with dan! he’d wear a cute suit, a white one with a pastel yellow button up shirt and a black tie. wears the necklace dan got him and probably a few dainty rings that match well together/when layered 41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? he cries. a lot. he gets really overwhelmed when he’s angry, and tends to scream or yell42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? on his arms from self harm, his hips as well… 43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? he doesn’t like saying rude things44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? uhhh if he asks he’ll probably take what the person says into consideration but if he hasnt asked, he’ll get mad/sad 45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? he like it46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? he gives it to dan rdyftugyhio47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? s e n d h i m t o a r t s c h o o l p l e a s e48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? err his parents were kind of absent a lot, they traveled so much for business that he was often alone, only himself for company. his mom was loving, for the most part, when she was home. she got drunk quite often, though, but that just made her more giggly and unfocused. his dad… was hard on him, kinda abusive. often ignored him, honestly, unless it came to school and ‘being a man.’ he can be very distant at times, and self isolates often… yet he’s afraid of being alone, he doesn’t want to be abandoned, so he loves the wrong people, stays with the wrong people, because it seems right. if they stay, ill be okay, even if im still crying. even if it still hurts 49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he does like candy! gets sugar rushes sometimes sdrftugyu dan finds it so fucking cute bc he’s so hyper and giggly 50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? oh please don’t stress him out like that…

Alexander: He/They - Virgo - 24 - 6′0

1. What is your OC’s favorite color? dark purple2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? swords, dragons, and bookmarks3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to? dairy and bees4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear? what he actually has to wear differs from what he personally likes. his father is the king so because of that, he often has to wear a lot of suits/prince attire. but personally, when he doesnt have to be Prince, he likes to wear dark and comfy clothes, a lazy emo5. What is your OC’s first memory? he vaguely remembers aster being born and wanting to help his mom take care of her 6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? dragons!!! doesnt have a least favorite??? maybe mosquitos 7. What element would your OC be? hhhhh water 8. What is your OC’s theme song? something heavy and dark9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? he has a charming n husky kinda voice !10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC? greed or envy11. What are your OC’s hobbies? fighting, taking care of dragons, making rings, and reading historical books12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? he’s been trained to be patient, for the most part, but when he’s passionate about something he tends to get hot-headed sometimes 13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? non-binary, bisexual, he’s an alien so he’s kinda pinkish… same color as aster but a little lighter 14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? loves seafood… isn’t really into eggs 15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? he Has his dream pet, a dragon, so he’s Good16. What does your OC smell like? woodsy and clean 17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? he’s a prince but he works with dragons a lot!!! it’s his Dream… or to sell his rings 18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? commitment, losing his family, and sharks. he gets too lost in his head at times, distances himself from everyone. he’s physically very strong and a charming/calm guy by nature 19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? he’s not the biggest music guy but enjoys rock/alternative/emo stuff20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? curious about everything, goes into almost every shop he can find and tries out so many different foods…21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? his last relationship was Bad and he’s still very much affected by it… he hates wearing socks to bed dfyguh it annoys him so much22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? excellent, top of his class23. What is a random fact about your OC? he loves tattoos and would love to be covered in them one day 24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? currently, his outlook is very bleak dxfyuibj he’s really sad,,,25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? i gave aster siblings and then slowly developed him in my head!26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? his family, specifically his siblings, anddd his ex boyfriend still haunts his almost every thought and action :/27. What kind of childhood did your character have? good!!! he and his siblings did so much stuff together dxfghjkl; i Love them28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? twists his rings a lot or shakes his leg when he’s nervous. doesn’t stim 29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? fuck, man, i have no fucking clue and neither does he30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? currently, no31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? his ex boyfriend tried to kill him once. he relives that memory almost everyday, and hates himself for not telling anybody about it. his siblings always know how to cheer him up, which he’s soooo grateful for. the 3 of them went to an amusement park once and just had so much fun, eating waaaay too much and going on all of the rides 32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? happiness33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? er probably wouldn’t but if it was his ex… he would reconsider 34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? his dads the king, hes a prince, so he often finds himself at balls or parties and pretends to be super charming and openly available for marriage, even though he doesn’t want it and his younger brother will most likely take the throne instead35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? he never stops living in daydreams or memories and would like it all to just. stop. let him b r e a t h e36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? peace. he wants everything to stop, he wants his head to stop convincing him somethings wrong when hes fine and he wants his thoughts to stop wants the voices gone.37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? he sucks skittles and starbursts for a long ass time before actually eating them…38. What would your character do with a million dollars? donate it all 39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? nothing dfhgjk he hasn’t restocked it yet,,, probably some clothes and random books lying around. uhhh probably some alcohol, candy, and a map. crumpled up paper and wrappers in his garbage can40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? uh probably alone and to get wasted or high,,, doesnt matter where :/41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? self isolates and simmers in his anger, throws shit and screams because hes so mad/frustrated 42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? theres some cigarette burns on his thighs from his ex, a couple on his back and arms/legs from either fighting or his ex… there’s probably more but id have to think a lot more on his ex and stuff, which i will do eventually!43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? towards the end of his relationship he probably said some harsh things to his ex44. How does your character react/ accept criticism? fine unless its super personal to him, then it reminds him of his ex and he cant focus on anything, he shuts down45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? inhales it. please feed him46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? stares at it for so long.. would probably carry it with him always dsfgjkl;47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? he things drawing buildings is super relaxing…48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? very loving! hes very grateful for them and how supportive they are, even if its unconventional to being next in line for the throne. they just want him happy more than anything49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? he loves candy, shoves it in his mouth so fast estrytuyul he only gets sugar rushes if he binges on candy around others??? never when hes just munching on it alone50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? i cant say he’d be entirely mad at his current state… would probably say his goodbyes and then just wait, or wander around waiting

#wow i have ocs #aristotle #jordan #tyler #alex #oh god i really did this didnt i

4 notes · View notes

pokefanbri · 3 years

Text

I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤

0 notes

catastrothicc · 6 years

Text

when will i learn to write an intro post

hello friens my name is kit im 19 and i use them/they pronouns. i love the color GREEN as u can tell and im a cancer ..... i literally don’t kno who i am besides that so ! ey letz gO .... oh yea my timezone is mdt . bu ckle . ... .. . u p

fiRST we have rocky whomst some of u kNO bc he was That guy in paracosms anD created by the m ost crea tive admins iv’e ever seEN i got blessedt 2 play him and to play him agAIN in literally the most mentally straining au for any character .... paracosms verse ! x

i previously made an intro post for him here so i’m just gonna link it and walk away .. .. .... also his stats page still lives here !!! keeping in mind that he is no longer a drug ring leader ..... he recently discovered that his wHOLE LIFE is a LIE and that he’s a helpless robot stuck in hell with a bunch of other robots who want 2 murder him and every(robot)body he loves

find his pinterest board here , someday a whole ass playlist too

neXT we have minjae ... he’s my oldest character in this batch but that doesn’t mean i especially love him .... just means i’ve made him suffer the longest .... . . . tw: child abuse ( pinterest board , playlist 1 , playlist 2 )

minjae is in the main verse ! find him bullshitting through college and b-boying in the camden streets

he’s twenty-one and a virgo , born in busan , south korea

he found his way to london when his parents sent him away to study abroad highkey because that’s a big fancy thing in korea they can brag about and lowkey to get rid of him for as long as they can

his relationship with his family is ..... interestingly strained . his parents WON’T admit that he’s tiring as hell to deal with and how much stress he causes because they try their best to be supporting/loving parents but honestly minjae KNOWS how much they just wISH he was fucking gONE from their lives ( okay maybe not THAT intense but things rlly blow up in his head ) but he doesn’t even worry about it he just deals with the fact that he’s a terrible son

he was diagnosed with odd when he was eight years old, after his mom got tired and increasingly concerned with his disruptive and violent behavior

a few years prior , minjae’s biological dad left them and his mom kind of took it upon herself to try and make it up to him . that meant she was always careful around him and treated him as if he was fragile because minjae felt some blame that his dad left .

his biological dad did Not have any patience for his kid’s mental health , meaning he and minjae would fight often to the point of getting physical . basically minjae endured a lot of getting locked up in the bathroom kicking and screaming until his voice grew hoarse and the occasional ..... bad beatings .

he went to therapy with his mom for two years before entering middle school , around the time his mom remarried a nice guy who had the patience of a saint when it came to minjae , even after he repeatedly rejected him as a part of their life . eventually minjae managed to warm up to him ..... he just didn’t wanna admit he was afraid he’d abandon them like his bio dad .

despite the therapy he was still unstable and got into frequent fights . he was smart but he didn’t put it into any good use because he would rather fool around and disrupt the classroom at any slight chance . teachers .... hated this fuckass

theN high school !! A Whole Mess ..... he got worse and worse , and it wasn’t until he got expelled from his Second high school that he went back to therapy for anger management .

after months of sessions w/ his therapist he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder , which honestly explained Everything about his life . it explained his massive issues with interpersonal relationships , massive abandonment fear , massive moodiness , massive personality contradictions .... everythin g

he started b-boying because it was a way to push himself and let go of the anger without picking a fight with someone else ( altho he StilL picked the occasional fight .... highkey still does ) but he loved the control that came with dancing and how it hurt to push his body

he managed to graduate despite what everyone thought ..... and even a bigger surprise is that he went to college majoring in math ..... and an evEN BIGGER SURPRISE is that he went overseas to study which is like ..... quite a difficult and impressive thing to do ..... tho minjae just finds math the easiest out of academic studies bc “all u need to do is understand and follow a formula”

anYWAYS so his personality is generally very contradictory . he just has no fucking idea who he even is . thESE are from an old intro that i’m just putting here bc still tru:

being delusional w/ infatuation/love to the point of a fault vs running away when things actually start to go right with someone because of his fear of being abandoned by them

being so afraid of abandonment that he can’t stand being alone, always needs to be communicating with someone vs pushing people away when he feels like he’s getting attached because he’s afraid of abandonment

swinging between being horny all the time and being sex repulsed

intense mood swings !!! having the time of his life one hour and wishing he was dead the next

thinks he’s the best vs loathes his entire being

wants everyone to love him vs thinking he deserves being alone

incredibly charming and talkative vs distant and moody

loving/cuddly/goofy vs jealous/purposely mean/bossy

also never tell him its ok to text u bc he’ll give u notifications from Hell

dhwani mishra !!! honestly Bae . i’ve had her in my head for mONTHs and this is only the second time i play her rip . anyways say hello to this Hot Mom. tw: abuse , brief abortion mention

dhwani is from chicago , she’s 36 and a leo .... literally The Whole SUN

she grew up w/ a generally large family . two parents , three sisters and a brother . it was a full house that often became suffocating but she managed to survive her childhood and teenhood .

she’s extremely close with all her fam except her dad , bc they have always disagreed in almost everything and it’s just ..... awkward to be around him ?? she honestly doesn’t respect him much , even if she would never show him/tell him that . her dad had an abusive past w/ her mom , and dhwani still feels a lot of resentment that he would ever lay his hands on her in a violent way and mistreat her despite being the mother of his children . when she was a teenager , she would tell her mom to just divorce him but her mom was in a very toxic/old mentality and believed she would ruin her family and her children’s life if she did that .

probably nobody cared about this as much as dhwani .... she promised herself she’d NEVER allow someone to do what her dad did to her mom and was honestly so defensive with guys . little did she kno it was the lesbian raging inside her .

so because she had no idea what a lesbian was or that it was a possibility bc her household was not the type to really go into the topic of sex at all , she eventually got into a relationship with a guy in high school that she could actually put up with .... and got really disappointed when she was finally ‘ in love ’ because of how underwhelming it all was . her dreams about finding ‘ the one ’ were absolutely gone . she was like wtf why are people making such a big deal out of love when it feels like ...... kind of nothing ??

she became pregnant with his child which was completely unplanned and was such a huge turn in her life that she never ever expected . all this time she had been driven to start a career in chemistry and family would come way wayyy later , however she did Not want to give up her child ..... she was so torn about it but now she thinks not getting an abortion was the best decision of her life bc her little boy , one of her two little suns was brought into the world .

she paused her career to raise him w/ her now husband when she was 29 , and three years later became pregnant again , this time w/ her second sun , an adorable lil baby girl . things were already going downhill in her marriage before she got pregnant again , though , and she stupidly thought that maybe another child would help them but ... wrong ! her husband , the man she thought she loved , was turning out to be exactly like her father . she put up w/ him for as long as she could .... but it did just not work out . when her daughter was two and her son five , she divorced him and someway or another managed to pick up her career again .

she moved out with her kids into a small apartment , struggling with money and having to ask her parents for aid which wasn’t rlly good for her pride , despite that she and her mom were like best friends .

sHE made it to london by pure will after juggling her two children and working as a high school teacher , though when she got an offer to teach as a professor in a university w/ heR OWN LAB AND RESEARCH TEAM she could Not pass it up . the only problem was tht this job was across the ocean , and away from her family and everything she and her children knew .

still , she saw a brighter future , not only for herself but especially for her kids , so she packed up and said goodbye to the states .

she’s been teaching in soho for two years now and she still hasn’t really adjusted . it’s obviously a very different life than the one she had in chicago , but she’s very determined to make it work . also she’s recently discovering her repressed inner lesbian so hmu for plots !!! ;)))

shE’S a chemistry professor so ... @ any student connections hmu ... also any students whomst want 2 be on her research team A++

pERSONALity wise .... she’s a mess . she’s very lively and warm and inviting , but she is also extremely stubborn and unrestrained . you don’t agree w/ something she does ? Suck It . you have a stupid opinion ? Time to let u kno how absolutely wrong u are . she is NOT afraid of a fight . also she’s v scatterbrained .... there is so much on her schedule that she can barely keep up w/ so she’s never like ... calm . always going somewhere , always pacing places , chugging her coffee , carrying 789479 folders and books everywhere .

hER class is pretty much this vine

probably one of the least chill professors on campus in the best way possible . she’s so excited about chemistry and teaching her students . altho she is lenient and understanding she can also b strict af and doesn’t allow her kindness to b taken advantage of . rlly good at drawing lines .

also her children are her whole world and she loves to brag about them ... since she doesn’t get enough time w/ them at home she sometimes takes them to her lab on campus or they’re there being a mess during her office hours and stressing her out but she’s 2 fond of them to leave them w/ their babysitter .

oK so here is her v incomplete pinterest board ... expect a playlist Soon

lAST BUT NOT LEAST is santana !!! he is ... a solid trip . this is my first time playing him so i’m puMPED and expecting the worst of him fhuidshfiusdhg. tw: drug use , abuse , alcoholism

he is 23 , a Cancer , n from LA california like that red hot chili peppers song(s)

his childhood wasn’t chill at all . he grew up with four sisters and three brothers , so his parents never really had time for all of them individually . they were always kind of lumped together despite the differences in age . santana was one of the middle children so he got evEN LESS attention .

he honestly does not understand what his parents were thinking when they had EIGHT whole kids , because they were poor as shit . they lived in a tiny house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms , where all the girls would be in 1 room , the boys in the other , and their parents in th third one . you could Not catch a moment of peace in this household . they basically lived on top of each other .

his older siblings were very bad influences , and so were his parents . it was all tough love , so he barely received any kindness or special treatment and had 2 go to school even if he was dying w/ the flu and got hit Bad when he acted out even a little bit bc his parents were Not about to deal w/ any disrespect . he actually pretty much got hit for just existing bc his parents didn’t want dumb kids and santana was failing in Everything at school so his dad especially tried to beat it into him but really he wasn’t dumb he had dyslexia and no one knew or cared enough to find out .

still , they didn’t really respect their children enough to demand their respect . they would cuss all of them tf out and allow them little to no privacy so they all became rEALLY GOOD liars , and all of them learned to have each other’s backs but rlly this only lasted during their childhoods/teenhoods .

santana started doing really stupid shit during high school and once he got caught stealing wine from a grocery store w/ all his dumb little high school friends whomst were in possession of weed and ended up in juvenile prison for two years until he turned 18 . thEN while he was on parole he didn’t learn his fucking lesson and his parents/family were not supportive At All honestly it’s like they didn’t give 2 shits that he was in juvie they were just like ‘that’s what happens when you’re a goddamn moron’ so santana went out and did it aGAIN bc fuck parental guidance anyways

this time he got caught stealing a whole fucking car and in possession of not only weed but cocaine so he got locked up for 4 long ass years . honestly thought that he wouldn’t make it out but he rlly learned a lot in prison and he was used to getting no privacy anyways and just kinda dealt . the prison system he was stuck in Sucked so bad though like the guards were the Worst and he’d try to stay out of fights but Some Fucker would piss him off and BOOM he’d end up in the hole for a whole week .

hOWEVER if it wasn’t for being there he would’ve never discovered his passion of art and drawing . he got Really Fucking good bc he had nothing else to do but sit around and try to find anything to pour all of his pent up energy into and drawing happened to be his greatest outlet . would just sit for as long as they let him and draw his time away .

when he got out he went back to his fam but they were pretty much all split up . shit went Down while he was locked up and somehow his parents ended up w/ a giant grudge on their children and some of his siblings wanted to kill each other while others had just completely moved away to different parts of the states and had absolutely no communication w/ each other .

santana decided to fuck it and pursue his dreams of being a tattoo artist far from LA and just decided to move to a different country entirely .

Now u can find him giving tattoos in his apartment bc he doesn’t have enough $$$ to get a studio and while he Is training under a professional he’s not getting paid by them so he needs to make money somehow . it’s a secret that he’s tattooing when he’s not supposed to tho . Fuck the law .

personality !!!! he’s basically .... very chill .... perhaps 2 chill ....

even tho drugs got him some bad time in prison he hasn’t left them . still very 420 friendly and occasionally does the hard stuff . also loves 2 drink and party .

he’s irresponsible !!!! he feels like he lost a lot of his life in prison so he’s trying to make up for it and while he’s being more careful ..... he still loves 2 fuck shit up .

he gets way too comfortable around people way too easily . he thinks this is a trait he picked up in jail bc he rlly had no other option but to shower with a bunch of dudes and shit out in the open , so he’s very comfortable with his body and being in the nude in general . also a touchy guy , likes cuddles and appreciates hugs . random meaningless touches are a Habit .

he loves to hang and do whatever so if ur his friend chances are tht he’s hitting u up 24/7 to go do something . biggest extrovert there is . does not get tired of being in public / around people . also p flirty and gay as hell .

sO find his pinterest board here and i’m also in the process of finishing a playlist for him hopefully soon

thAT WOULD BE ALL FOR NOW !!! hmu and feel free to add me on discord ( a whole silly boy#2690 , kít (catastrothicc) in the group chat ) for plots and such !!!

#smoke:intros #smoke:ooc #⦁ — › OwO ᴡʜᴀᴛ's ᴛʜɪs? — ⌜ ᴏᴏᴄ ⌟#(#fiNALL Y )#( im srry it took this long )#( what was the build up it suCKS ANYWAYS )#( also ........ im not ashamed of an anime mascot )#( HFUISDHFIUSDHGIUH )#( i LOVE an angry boy )

7 notes · View notes

inebriatedhands · 7 years

Note

☱ (Both sober and inebriated)

SoberXX / XX / XXX Time: 02:01

Lucky.. Leo.. Leonidas. The guy that wanted to go out with me and I rejected his every advancement till I got my shit together and went and saw him my damn self.

I honestly worry a lot about him.. There are a lot of things I want to ask him-- Why does he care so much for a piece of shit, killer and messed up being like myself? Why is he so close to me? What even attracted him to me in the first place? I’m just some vanilla G!Sans, right? Some plain, ass G!Sans like the rest. Is it to do with the past?.. Who fucking knows.. I only remember bits and pieces of it anyway. It was too long ago.

...Apparently, It’s been such a short time, as everyone keeps reminding me, and he still cares this much.. I’m not sure how I should feel about that, honestly. Why do people keep reminding me of that shit anyway? It just makes my damn head spin and question things that I fucking shouldn’t.. I have enough worries. I don’t need more. Especially not with someone that I genuinely love and care for. I just want things to go smoothly, that’s all I want, but I don’t feel like I am fucking doing my job right. Probably not good enough. Not as good enough as his other S/Os. I do try.. Do I try hard enough, though? Maybe I need to try more.. I don’t fucking know.

I really should ask him about these things though.. But, you know, I’m just the new guy, right? Where do I even stand at the moment?... He barely spends time with me anymore, and that’s fine, but it does make it difficult for me to bring the courage up to ask this shit that’s swirling inside my stupid ass mind. Eh.. I’ll just leave it, as always. No use in bringing up shit if it’s not needed. I don’t wanna stress him out or ask him stuff that’ll make him worry.

He has enough on his plate. He doesn’t need my bullshit too.. Take it at a slow pace, Vi. Keep it up. Keep going. You’ll get there one day, buddy. Even if it takes an eternity. .. Haha. I probably have an eternity unless I get shot or something.. Damn.. That reminds me that missions have been getting more dangerous lately.. I need to be more careful for his sake.. I did promise, after all.

...I hate making promises...

Inebriated

XX / XX / XXX Time: 02: 01

This guy.. This skeleton-- The red skeleton that’s made of fire and intense cute. The way he thinks is a huge worry to me.. How he feels that everyone thinks he’s the bad guy in every situation.. He shouldn’t. He’s genuinely sweet, he really cares more than others will ever be able to see, he is probably one of the few people and beings that doesn’t give a shit what I do or who I am-- But.. I am worried by that also. What if one day he just.. Stops caring? What if I have changed too much since I’ve been gone..?

He knows that I know about the souls-- I’m sure that he can tell that I am not the same as when he first met me-- Is that a problem? Too scared to ask, really. Hell.. I’m even scared that if he heals my spine that things will be different. Maybe from his end, maybe from mine. I’d be more active with missions that way.. Less worry of being off’ed-- More nimble, but he has this strange protectiveness for my spine. He shouldn’t.. He’ll worry himself to death with it if he does. I don’t want him to worry about my physical state.. All I want is to make him smile and be there when he needs it. A selfless conquest, really. I need to start choosing my missions more carefully.. I know he said that he’d bring me back if I ever died, but-- That’d be the last thing I’d want. I know he’d be sad. Possibly angry for my recklessness-- Which I wouldn’t blame him for. I can be pretty one track minded when it comes to finishing a job, but really.. It’s not my assassin job that he should be worried about.. It’s the one that uses up my magic the most that he should be worried for, but I won’t mention that. I’ll keep the timelines sorting out to myself; Keep them in the void where they belong. No one needs to know about that.

Especially him.. Maybe one day, though. I’ll end up slipping up and saying something about it and he’ll know then, right? He seems to be good at getting stuff out of me even if I want to keep it all bottled up-- Haha.

He really is a good guy..

#Journal Meme #inebriatedhands #meme #My Little Lu || LuckyDejected ||#luckydejected

2 notes · View notes

survivor-switzerland · 7 years

Text

EPISODE 8: I ASKED LIKE FOUR DUMB QUESTIONS - JEV

Rip Queen Renee

Renee if you're reading I'm deeply sorry for not being able to do anything or just me being a sissy on making a move. I really did want us to work together but I couldn't do much because I didn't have the numbers or the balls to save you.

Okay... Now it's time to get my shit together...

Sidenote: I've been addicted in sending gifs since we lost that challenge so whatever...

Anyway here's some refreshing tea. So yeah before the vote I was talking to Nick and I brought up the possible advantages that the remaining OG Matterhorn have and he said to me that he thinks Abel has it since he was quick to pin the idol on Daisy. Nick then said that if Daisy did have an idol then she would have used it to save her allies, BUT wait here's the most interesting part. After like hours I back read my convo with Nick because I was bored and I noticed that he removed the message where he specifically said Abel's name. That's alarming and I promise I am not making this shit up! I know he dropped Abel's name.

Also some other news I think this vote strengthened my bond with Brett maybe?? Idk if he was just telling me all this stuff to not let my emotions overturn my vote since he was telling me about how I'm his favorite takeaway from this season, how I'm so like his boi Keegan and how I'm so calm when playing the game.

Me? Being calm in this game? Does he even know how I have been this last day?! I was like this.

Now that we got this challenge, we ABSOLUTELY MUST WIN THIS CHALLENGE!!

I have a feeling I'm channeling Brittany for this challenge cause I have no clue about survivor players. I have barely watched any full seasons!!!! Oops !!! Google to the rescue!!!!

EPISODE 8

I went out on Day 19 of Tumblr Survivor: Myanmar. It is now Day 20 and I have officially surpassed my previous self in length of stay--just not quite in placement yet. What can I say? Trevor was super hard for double tribal councils. I still have to survive 3 more tribal councils to beat my placement.

I am now a part of two alliance chats--one of my choosing and one that I sort of got roped into. My first alliance is with Ashley Sarah, Ian, and the kidnapped Tyler who may or may not survive the next vote if we win. Then there's an alliance I've been thrown into with Dom (whom I adore), Nick, and Benjamin. If we lose this upcoming immunity challenge, I am going to be a fat cat desperately trying to squeeze through a fence. It's not going to be cute and I stand to lose the most.

The immunity challenge was Guess Who: Survivor Edition. I am very familiar with this challenge because in my last Survivor game (the Facebook main), I went out on a final 4 tiebreaker on this challenge. My opponent and I tied for the best average in the ORG's history, but since we had tied, it came down to time--mole style, and I was slower by a few minutes. Oh well. At least I won Player of the Season. Anyway, I volunteered to take the lead in this challenge. I did this for two reasons:

1. I'm easily the most methodical person (NOTE: not the smartest, but the most methodical) on this tribe of teenagers and Ashley Sarah.

2. I can't trust these goobers to play this smart and I don't want to go to tribal council.

Nick, Dom, and Benjamin were also available to do the challenge with me, but I made absolutely certain that I was in the driver's seat--it was a risk in terms of people perhaps perceiving me to be bossy or think I'm smarter than others, but when weighing that with the possibility of going to tribal council, I erred on the side of keeping everyone safe instead of just myself. We'll see if it was the right decision long-term.

Our team had great luck in the initial wearing down of the roughly 400 options. In the end, we nearly always floundered at picking the right person in the last 2-3 options. We were the worst. And I was fearful because if Monte Rosa had some good luck juju, we would be going to tribal council with me leading the march as the captain of the challenge. Yikes. Fortunately, we won by 3 questions, defeating Monte Rosa!

I'm definitely worried for Tyler's well-being. I don't see them voting out Logan because Logan collaborated with a lot of those goobers in the demise of Trent, Daisy, and Lily, so I can't see why they wouldn't continue to work with him. Hopefully they see Maximilian as an unfriendly, antisocial booger and send them to the curb, but that would just be wishful thinking, wouldn't it?

I'm so mad at myself, I asked like four dumb questions during the challenge and we pretty much lost because of that. Now I'm worried that I'm going to be in hot water with the rest of the tribe because they might blame the loss on me. 2/3 of the people who helped me with the challenge I am aligned with or have previously been aligned with so hopefully they don't blame me and I'll survive this vote. Wish me luck :(

So... Me, Luke and Zack are talking about the vote and we are all in agreement that we want to take out Max or Logan this round. Personally I feel like the smartest move would be to take out Logan as I worry he has quite strong social connections with a lot of people in the game, while Max is just kind of there and blends in with everyone, so not much of a threat to us right now.

I'm going to keep both options in mind for now, but if this round goes the way I want it to then Logan will be the one getting snuffed.

So I wake up at around 6AM to see that my tribe had already done the challenge lol and we ended up winning!! Woo amazing!!

So hopefully Tyler remains alive on the other tribe and a merge comes in after this round. I don't know what's gonna happen at Monte Rosa's tribal so I'm praying Tyler survives. I'm worried since the information I got from Renee (I MISS YOU!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!) is that Abel and Zack are close. Abel and Luke have been together from the beginning and they could very well include Jev because he's OG Matterhonr and Logan could stick with Luke. Hopefully Tyler uses his connection with Zack to survive. Ideally I'd like another OG Matterhorn to go but I don't see that happening.

Ciao!

[5/14/17, 11:42:04 PM] Abel: you’re a taurus

[5/14/17, 11:42:11 PM] Abel: i’m a leo

[5/14/17, 11:42:13 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): yeah!

[5/14/17, 11:42:15 PM] Daisy (Bahamas Host): oh cool!

[5/14/17, 11:42:33 PM] Abel: no not cool tf our signs hate each other!

AND WE DID HATE EACH OTHER

So after the first swap I was the king. I had my whole tribe eating out of the palm of my hands. They were sheep being led to slaughter. I was running the show I knew that much. And then suddenly everything changes. I picked Zack and allowed for his clique of home of sexuals to be on my tribe because I figured it would be safe. And while I do feel safe I'm not necessarily happy with this tribe. I'm back to being Zack and Jev's bitch and now they have Tyler so unless Luke has a change of heart it looks like Logan and Max are fucked. Max seems nice but idk much about them. Logan on the other hand is a gem and I feel so bad that he's in such a sticky situation. I honestly am not scared of Logan and his friends at the merge? Like I think I've built enough relationships in enough places that regardless of what happens at the merge that I'll be going pretty deep.

Whew that was close!!!! Thank the lord Brett and nick know their survivor players and guessing tips!!! Mvps!!!!

TRASH. ZACK AND JEV ARE TRASH. SO OUR IMMUNITY STREAK OF 1 HAS COME TO AN END BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO MESS AROUND DURING THE IMMUNITY CHALLENGE LIKE THE FUCKFACES THEY ARE AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO TRIBAL BC THEY WANTED TO THROW THE CHALLENGE AND KILL LOGAN

Okay so... apparently Luke and Zack have decided that the vote is going to be Logan tonight... without really consulting me?? Like I'm down to do it but I wish we were talking more about it rather than Zack just being like "Jev you do this, Luke you do this and such and such will do this" Like... does he not realise it could possibly go wrong?

The whole plan is for Me/Luke/Tyler/Abel to vote Logan while Zack throws a vote at Max just to be safe, but if Logan pulls out an idol then it could be a tie between Max and one of us if he's on to it at all. I'm just so STRESSED because I don't want this to bite any of the three of us in the ass.

At this point in the game, I know I've been super fortunate to have TC #8 be my first! And to be very honest you would think I would be upset that we lost but I'm really not.

From the start, Logan has always been nice to me to my face. But what he doesn't know is I know what's gone on before this game started. I know that he has a friend who I've once played with almost a year ago in another side org and he hates my guts. Logan wanted to vote me out the first second he got once we ended up together on original Monte Rosa. So I've just been WAITING for this moment to strike back before he's able to give me. The soul reason I even chose Logan over Ben in the tribe swap was because I wanted to vote him off the first second we lost an immunity just to retaliate. It's sad that I have to base this vote off of something that happened before this game started, but I have to protect myself at all costs. Not to mention he's in the same friend group as Dom and Nick! Which is just a nightmare waiting to happen if the 3 of them get back together. So I'm ready to get this tribal over with in all honesty because there's a new force to be reckoned with in Switzerland.

Hey so i just wanted to make a quick confessional. Nothing has happened for us but if we don't merge or swap after this, ian is probably going to be the one going. but i hope we merge wooo

This round has been by far the messiest to date, I've heard things about the possibilities of idols, ties and even rock draws and I don't think I've ever felt more paranoid in a game ever. I've ended up putting down Logan's name and I feel sO BAD ABOUT IT because now he's telling me how he really wants to survive this round because he got 13th in his original season and now I'm going to feel awful if he leaves.

Btw Logan, jsyk this really wasn't my idea and if you leave I am so so sorry that this is how it turned out for you. You deserved better.

#ihopeiseeyounever #confessionals

0 notes