#just to relieve my brain of some of these

[peachybella444]

Need you

18+

“And then the bitch scoffed and rolled her eyes like I didn't just apologize. I need to find a new place asap cause I swear next time she try me Imma fuck her up- “

“What I tell you bout cussing?” Ony’s deep voice filled the room, dark eyes piercing into yours as a warning.

“Anywaysss” You rolled your eyes, ignoring the side eye he was giving. “You’ve been awfully quiet since I came over. What’s going on?” You put your freshly manicured feet in his face.

“Nothing you’ve just been yapping the whole time.” He smirked.

“Rude” You gasped, nudging him with your toes.

“Nah I'm just chillin’. You know I like listening to you talk.” He shrugged, placing your legs into his lap. Lighting the blunt he just rolled, a cloud of smoke surrounding him as he took a hit.

“Whatever” You smiled as he passed it to you.

You and Ony often had moments like these, a smoke sesh usually spent with you talking about your week as he massaged your feet. Your relationship with Ony was…complicated. Ever since Sasha introduced you two, y'all were inseparable, constantly getting mistaken for a couple, and who could blame them?

Most thought this because Ony always had to be touching you, whether it was holding your hand, an arm around your shoulder, or a tight grip on your waist. However, for some, it was how you two would always disappear during the function. Claiming you were only talking, but the slight sheen on Ony’s lips and your slightly ruffled clothing told otherwise.

You weren’t quite friends with benefits. At least that's what you told yourselves. The whole ordeal just kinda happened. You were stressed over your midterms and Ony of course offered to help you study. Though after hours of reading flashcards and practice tests, you were still stressed and on the verge of tears when Ony offered another way to help you. That night you ended up with your legs in the air as Ony sucked the soul out of your pussy. Ever since then any inconvenience one had, the other would do their best to help relieve the stress. Your roommate upset you? Ony fed you long deep strokes, pampering you with soft kisses while he whispered in your ear. Ony was pissed that his supplier flaked on him? Ony would have the tightest grip on your hips as he drilled into you from behind, claiming the waves of your ass hypnotized him into forgetting what he was upset about. Some days neither of you needed an excuse. Some days you just craved each other.

Despite your unique relationship, you remained friends allowing the other to do what they pleased, though neither you nor Ony slept with or saw other people. Your dynamic was good and worked for both of you. That was until you started seeing Jean.

“You n that nigga Jean still fuckin around?” He broke the silence, waiting for your answer as your eyes met his.

“Ony” You groaned, the tight grip he had on your ankles preventing you from moving.

“What? I can’t ask you questions now?” He kissed his teeth, putting out the blunt.

“No, because any time you ask about Jean we end up getting into an argument and I’m really enjoying my time with you right now. So no, you cannot ask.”

“Whatever. I’m just tryna figure out when you gon stop playing in my face nd be with me instead of his bitchass.”

“Onyankopon '' You shrieked. You never understood why Ony hated Jean till a few weeks ago when Ony drunkenly confessed his feelings. At first, you thought he was joking but the look on his face told you otherwise. For a minute, you were happy. Ony was everything you had wanted in a boyfriend and you two had practically been in a relationship just without the labels. It wasn't till Jean texted you that you got upset. Why confess his feelings when you're finally in a relationship? Deciding it'd be best to forget about it, you put Ony to bed, hoping he'd also forget about his confession. Clearly, you were wrong.

“What? I don't understand what you see in him. He's annoying as fuck, and I'm pretty sure he has 4 brain cells. Maximum.” He rolled his eyes at the thought of Jean. “Why won't you give me a chance when I'm the one for you?”

“We've talked about this Ony.” You sighed. Conversations like these were becoming frequent and they were so tiring.

“No mama you've talked nd I've listened.” You thought about it, he wasn’t exactly wrong. Silently praying this wouldn't end up in an argument you gave him a chance.

“Okay. I'm listening.” You whispered.

“C’mere,” He released your ankles.

“Ony I’m not gonna-”

“[☆]” The dominance in his tone had you clenching around nothing.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you did as he told. The moment you sat on his lap you just knew how it was going to end.

“Why you with him instead of me? And don't feed me no bullshit” His large hands were rubbing up and down your thighs getting dangerously close to your pussy that desperately ached for him.

You tried and you tried but there wasn't any good reason as to why you were Jean. Sure he was cute but he had no idea how to make you feel special and overall just couldn't please you. In multiple ways. The main reason though was that he wasn’t Ony. He just asked first.

“I don't know, Ony” You finally sighed, looking everywhere but him.

Any discipline you had when it came to Ony vanished when his hand wrapped around your throat, the slight pressure on your carotid causing your brain to go fuzzy and your panties to get damp “Look at me”

“Be real. Please” Ony released his hold on your neck to grip your thighs.

“You had the longest opportunity to ask me to be with you but you never took the chance, yet when I'm finally in a relationship you suddenly wanna give up everything and take a chance to be with me and I feel like that’s not fair to me Ony.”

He rubbed his hands down his face with a sigh. “You're right.”

"I did have that opportunity and always hesitated. I always assumed it would be just you and me, that you wouldn't pursue other relationships because of our bond. Since the day we met, I've wanted you. I know this is unfair and I'm so sorry princess, but I can't ignore my feelings any longer. Jean can't possibly be the man you want, the man you deserve. But I can. I promise to take the chance if you just give me another opportunity, and I'll do everything in my power to make you proud. You’re my best friend, my favorite person in the whole universe and I'm determined to be the person you need. I love you [☆].”

“Ony” you huffed, feeling as if all air was being vacuumed out of your lungs at his confession.

“Please. Lemme show you how much I love you.” He whispered, closing the distance that separated you. “Please” He captured your lips, his usual sweet taste with a hint of spiciness from the weed clouding your thoughts. Oh, how you missed this. Missed him. The kiss was intimate and familiar, the passion growing with each second. Ony’s hands roamed your body, gripping the soft flesh of your thighs before traveling to your ass, taking pleasure in the soft moan you let out, and using the opportunity to slip his tongue past your lips. On instinct, your hips rocked down onto him.

“Fuck, baby. I missed you” He groaned, flipping you onto your back.

“Ony we can’t” You huffed, despite the wetness growing in between your thighs. God he looked so good. His muscles bulged as he took his shirt off, your eyes trailed down his torso, mouth watering at the prominent v-line peeking from his low sitting sweats.

“Do you want this? Yes, or no?” His tongue traced lazy patterns on your skin as he littered your neck with kisses.

“Ony I-”

“Yes or no [☆]?” He nipped on your earlobe, hand dipping below the waistband of your leggings.

“Fuck, Ony” his hand slipped beneath the thin fabric of your thong, fingers slipping through your folds. Gathering your arousal before circling your clit in tight circles. “Yes, please”

“Then shut up and lemme show you how much I love you” He murmured as he undressed you. Replacing his fingers with his tongue, he lapped at your folds like a starved man, his tongue repeatedly flicking your clit. “Missed you so fucking much. Don't ever give my pussy away again. You hear me?” He muttered, sliding two digits past your entrance. The action was easy with how wet you were.

“Ony” Your thighs threatened to close around his head.

“Answer me or I'm stopping” He slowed his movements, leaving you needy.

“It's yours. I'm yours pa, I promise” Your legs shook as he continued to give you slow strokes, the addition of another finger having you seeing stars. “O-Ony wait” You panted, attempting to push his head away but he refused to let up on your pussy, never wanting to stop till he and his couch were soaked in your essence as he lapped at your clit.

“Ony I’m so-fuck I'm so close” Your words encouraged him to speed up as he repeatedly hit the spongy spot of your walls. “Ony” Your walls clenched around his fingers, leaving little room for his fingers to continue as you reached your peak.

Despite your thighs tightening around his head he continued his assault on your pussy. It wasn't until he was finally satisfied with slurping up your arousal, that he pulled away pressing gentle kisses on your throbbing clit as he pulled his soaked fingers out of your walls.

“Missed you so much” He mumbled, giving you the nastiest kiss ever, your arousal all over his lower face.

“I missed you too”

“Yeah?” He grabbed your hips, positioning you on all fours.

“Ony” You whined, pout forming on your lips as you looked back. His dick standing tall now that it was no longer confined. God, please let me have feeling in my legs tomorrow.

“I know you ain't think I was done. You played in my face and let another nigga hit and think I'm not finna put you back in your place? Nah, both you and this pussy need a reminder of who you belong to” He slid his dick through your folds, your cream acting as lube.

“Matter a fact” He lined up at your entrance just as your phone started ringing ‘Jean baby’ flashing on the bright screen.

“Lemme show this nigga too.”

first time ever writing smut nd even though it was short it took me foreverrr but i think it turned out okay. also so sorry for all my Jean girlies out there lol. anyways i hope you enjoyed nd any feedback is greatly appreciated. mwah

#aot x black reader #anime x black!reader #aot x reader #black reader #onyankopon x black y/n #aot onyankopon #attack on titan #onyankopon fluff #onyankopon x reader #onyankopon x you #onyankopon smut #onyankapon #ony smut #onyankopon x plusize reader #plusize reader #onyankopon x chubby reader #chubby reader #aot fluff #aot fic #aot smut #aot #attack on titan smut #attack on titan fluff #aot onyankopon x black y/n #aot onyankopon x black!reader #ony x black reader #onyankopon #onyankopon x black reader #onyankopon x black reader smut

[telvess]

Pizza delivery girl

higuruma hiromi x reader fic, a bit of smut content (nothing extreme, only kissing, touching and inappropriate dialogues). 🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞

wc: 3,390

Big thanks to my @teatreeoilll for correct spelling and supporting me the entire time. You're the best 💕 This fic would never have been written without you!

He doesn’t even like pizza.

And yet every time he has to do overtime in the dull room he calls an office, all while working cases and overwhelming his mind to the point where he just wants to see the bed, he finds himself thinking of you - the pizza delivery girl - and wondering if he should order another damn pizza. You slip to his mind unannounced once the tiredness takes over and his brain needs stimulation.

Higuruma Hiromi never took himself for a daydreamer, but here he is - imagining scenarios that will never happen with a woman he barely knows.

Ding dong!

Hiromi feels his co-workers' eyes on him when he gets up from his desk, their gazes follow him all the way to the door. As he walks there’s a new spring in his step. It's that time of day.

He opens the door and sees you, the woman who rules his irrational side. You smile at him, freckles clear on your fair skin.

“We meet again,” Hiromi welcomes you, looking at your peach colored hoodie with a print on it that he assumes is the cover of some band’s album.

“I’m starting to think that there’s hidden reason you order from the same place almost every day,” you point out with a smirk. Hiromi likes the way your voice changed over the last few meetings - how it became partly coy and… seductive.

“Well, I'm starting to wonder what are the odds that you're always the one who delivers my orders,” he bites back.

Your smile deepens and with slight shrug you mutter, “Touché.” You hand him over the pizza. “But don’t jump to conclusions. I’m just worried about you”— and your voice lowers to a whisper as you lean closer—“a little birdie told me you’re living here, Higuruma-san.”

Hiromi enjoys the softness in your voice, but for the love of God, don't use this tone when you say his name. You straighten up with a contented smile when you notice him swallow.

“You’re looking more tired every day,” you admit.

It’s not that you're innocent in all this.

“Nothing gets past you, does it?” As you nod the brown hair in your pigtail sways.

“You should take care of yourself before helping others.”

“Tough case,” he tries to shrug it off.

“Yeah, I heard.” Hiromi looks up to see genuine concern in your eyes. Before he can ask, you continue, “I read the papers. You did good job.”

Hiromi wants to say the case it’s far from over, but instead he decides not to; he accepts the compliment with a nod.

“Work goes better on a full stomach,” he says, raising the pizza box to light up the mood. You snort and bite your lower lip.

“Well I’m sure it could go even better if you relieved the pressure here and there.” You massage your shoulders and move them as if you were exhausted. You catch Hiromi a bit off guard with that.

“Well, I”—He rubs his hand over his two-day stubble—“Heh…” He smiles and can’t force himself to look you into eyes, feeling annoying heat spreading over his cheeks.

“No comeback, huh?” He hears you barely holding your laugher. Soon both of you laugh, more or less openly. For a moment Hiromi forgets he's at his office. The burden that weighed upon his mind lately suddenly becomes bearable.

“You know, I was wondering…” He scratches his cheek with a finger. His head is still full of doubts, but the timing feels so right that Hiromi gives in spontaneous impulse.

“About what?” you tilt your head.

“I—” “Excuse me, is this the defense attorney’s office?”

That’s not the right question.

For split of a second Hiromi doesn’t register the man appearing by your side. Then he notices a patch on the man's jacket with the symbol of the courier company.

“Yes, it is,” you say.

“Mr. Higuruma Hiromi?” The man asks and Hiromi confirms with a nod. His eyes are still on you, observing how you smile with what he hopes is some sort of disappointment. You shrug, then wave at him and finally turn away.

Hiromi watches over man’s shoulder how you go down the stairs. One last peek at your ass before the disappointment in his chest slowly builds up. He takes the package, closes the doors and comes back to his desk, too pensive to feel his co-worker's eyes on himself.

“Oh enough already!” Hiromi flinches at the woman's voice. It doesn’t happen often for her to be this angry, especially not at him and not about matters that aren’t work related.

“Why won’t you ask her out already?” She asks, crossing her hands over her chest.

If there’s one thing that Hiromi is grateful for, it’s definitely the ability to keep his cool in stressful situations. Professional habit.

“Why would I?” His voice is drier than when he was thanking the courier for his service.

His co-worker takes a deep breath, then asserts, “Because every time she turns her back you stare at her ass with those sad puppy eyes of yours.”

Is this how criminals feel when they speak to him through the glass windows in the visiting room? Because he definitely feels like one of them caught red-handed.

“There are no puppy eyes. And besides,” he pauses, lacking a counter-argument, “I don’t stare.” It takes one long skeptical gaze to break his façade. “Fine. But I wouldn’t call it staring.”

The co-worker raises her brows.

“Then how would you call it?”

“Admiring?” he mumbles, hoping she doesn’t hear it. His co-worker chuckles from behind her desk. He sighs as he looks at her, and puts the package and pizza box on his desk.

“I don’t think she would decline though.” It was naive of him to assume the conversation was over.

“Don't you have work to do?” He tries to separate himself from her by breaking the line of sight with a book. His tie starts to irritate him, but loosening it up means giving more opening to his co-worker so he lets it choke him.

He hears how her heels knock on the floor as she comes to his desk and lean over to reach the pizza box.

“It’s very unusual to see you like this. I’ve always thought you were a robot when it comes to your personal life,” she takes a piece of margarita.

Hiromi raises eyebrows. The book in his hands drops down.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

She shrugs.

“You know… very, hmm… economical?”

“Nice save,” he mumbles.

Economical was the last word Hiromi would have used describing his personal life. Not after wasting so much money for a food he never eats.

“So, are you going to ask her out?”

“No,” he says but sounds very disappointed. Damn courier.

“Why not?” She frown.

“It’s complicated—”

“Rubbish! You could sell me that crap at the beginning when the both of you were acting like teenagers. Now”— she snorts—“you basically flirt like normal people do on the third date!” she waves her hands, as if trying to convince an invisible witness. “Except you never went out once and it seems that the two of you would rather die than change that…”

His co-worker takes a bite and looks at him, but this time Hiromi’s facade doesn’t break that easy. He only shrugs.

“Ugh! What’s the matter with you?” she snaps at him. “Have made it a mission to complicate everything in your life?”

“Guilty,” he admits without a blink. There’s no point in denying this. “And you can’t do anything about it. We aren’t at court.”

Hiromi watches as she chew in silence.

“You can have all of it.” He moves the box towards her.

“I know,” she answers. “It isn’t the pizza that’s on your mind.” She takes the box and walks back to her desk. Hiromi knows what she's about to say before she opens her mouth, “But with that attitude you never gonna taste that in your lifespan.”

How vulgar…

Hiromi sits on the couch in his dull living room, with a glass in one hand and a remote in another. He flips through channels, staring at the TV without a hint of interest. When exactly did he become the person who comes back to home and has absolutely no idea what to do with himself? Everything feels like an empty time filler at this point.

Click, click, click…

Hiromi maintains a fast pace, his eyes on the screen, but mind barely present. Drama show, reality talk, an okonomiyaki advertisment… “Our national pizza!” Says a lady with her mouth full. Not the best marketing gimmick, he thinks. But yeah… He could go for a pizza. Today someone has interrupted his little tête-à-tête with you, but maybe it isn’t too late to fix it?

Before he can think it through, his hand reaches for the phone and opens the food app on its own. The pizzeria you work at is marked with a star as the only one in his favorites. Hiromi chooses a margarita, pays in advance, and hopes that your boss has forced you to work overtime today.

And then… what remains to be done? Just wait. But this time sitting in his dull living room doesn’t feel awfully boring. Hiromi finally finds a comfortable spot on his couch. He leans back and puts his feet up on the table, feeling strangely relaxed. As if he has found the missing piece of the puzzle. The advertising marathon has finishes and he watches the beginning of unknown romantic comedy. A pleasant drowsiness slowly befuddles him…

Knock knock!

Oh? Is it already time?

Hiromi gets up from the couch, his body feels dizzy at first but with each step towards the doors it gets more and more tense. Dozens of thoughts run through his head as his hand reaches for the door handle. Will that be you? What should he say? He haven’t thought of any opening line… Now, that’s the lawyer everybody needs, right?

Very slowly he presses down onto the handle and opens the door.

“Hello, your pizza- Oh! Hi, Higuruma-san! What a surprise!” Your expression changes from weary to genuinely happy; Hiromi feels your smile deep in his chest. “So you don’t really live in your office, huh?” You try to take a peek over his shoulder.

“I have to come here from time to time. Otherwise they will start imposing rent at my workplace,” he answers, shrugging.

Your whole chest trembles as you laugh, you have the same hoodie you had afternoon with faces of some band on it. Hiromi catches himself at staring for too long at your chest. It draws your attention.

“Do you like this band?” you ask, pulling the hoodie to stretch the fabric, which reveals a bit of your neckline.

Hiromi finally raises his eyes to meet yours.

“I don’t know them,” he says honestly and, given the cheerfulness in your eyes, you seem to be content with this answer.

“Ah, I see,” you slowly nod. “That’s not what interested you.”

“Nothing gets past you, does it?”

He doesn’t feel too embarrassed when you smile like this at him. Maybe his sad puppy eyes come in handy…

“Now that I caught you red-handed I won’t feel bad telling you something like this -” You smirked, “Don’t be upset, but you don’t look like a guy who likes pizza.”

You would think, huh?

“That’s a bit judgmental,” Hiromi says with unusual sensitivity in his voice that immediately puts you in defensive mode.

“Oh, no! I’m sorry!” You raise your hand in apologetic gesture. “It’s just”—you eye him up and down—“I don’t know, I guess it’s the suit. It makes you look…”

“Pompous?” he slips watching you struggle to find the right word.

“No!” you quickly deny. Too quickly. “I mean… well, kinda.” You gave up.

“Ouch.”

Hiromi has never heard you giggle before, but he could definitely get used to it. He couldn’t explain the phenomenon that makes him seek for your reaction - any reactions, really - but the idea of closing the doors right now and not getting more out of you seemed awful.

“Do you ever take it off?” you ask pointing at his loosened tie and wrinkled dress shirt.

I could for you, he thinks to his own surprise.

“Well, I was waiting for the pizza,” he reminds.

“Right. Can’t collect your order in pyjamas.” And you laugh again, which causes a rush of heat in his belly and bellow. Cursed thoughts suddenly take him to very inappropriate places where you tell him about the band printed on your hoodie as you take it off. He wonders what color of bra you wear. The white one would suit you - in his modest opinion.

“You weren’t wrong though.” He breaks himself out of the trance. “I don’t like pizza." After all the orders he made for the past few weeks.

You blink at his words, definitely not as surprised as he thought you were going to be. In fact, your reaction tells him that you knew and have played along this entire time.

“Then why did you order so many of them?” you ask, a soft smile forming on your lips.

“I was ordering you,” he finds himself saying. The moment the first word left his lips, Hiromi felt in his guts it was a bad idea, but the rest of the sentence left his lips anyway, leaving sweet-sour flavor on the top of his tongue.

He watches your eyes widen for a second, and your lips part - then close - then open again as you try to say something back, but your mind can’t find the right words.

Well, this is it then…

A lonely “oh” slips quietly out of your mouth.

Oh?

“Well, you are my last stop today.” Your rosy cheeks rise up as you smile. “Why don’t you invite me in?”

For a moment the world stops.

“Are you sure?” The lower parts of Hiromi call him an idiot, but the lower parts have never been in charge. Biting his tongue wasn’t an option.

Sudden embarrassment takes over as you look sideways and as both of you wonder about the simple “should I or should I not?” You smile and Hiromi smiles as well.

“Do you think my boss can sue me once he finds out that I’ve made him lose a regular customer?” You break the silence. Hiromi watches at the corners of your lips twitch, then raises his eyes at yours.

“Why do you assume I won’t order any more pizza in the future?” You shrug.

“Why would you if you can just call me instead?”

“So you can have nice break at work,” he answers. This is enough to make you burst out laughing.

“I see you've thought everything through carefully.”

“I only try to keep you here as long as I can.”

You make a step towards him, standing on the threshold. Much, much, much closer than usually. Hiromi could smell your perfume, but he mostly focuses on the soft smile you give him.

“Well, can’t deny it isn’t working. Lemme in,” you whisper, fidgeting with the collar of his dress shirt as you speak.

Once Hiromi opens the doors wide for you to come in and you cross the threshold, letting the pizza box fall on the ground, making you giggle again. Hiromi presses you against the doors, his hands finally on your waists, fingers tightened to feel you under the fabric of hoodie.

You are the one who closes the gap between your lips. Your smell stupefies Hiromi as you kiss him without hesitation, shamelessly penetrating his mouth with your tongue. Your fingers slide right under his collar, slowly moving around his nape, tickling his skin and sending shivers down his spine. Hiromi feels dizzy from the excess of stimuli.

“Tell me about this band,” he says once you two break away to catch a breath.

“I know only one song…” you mutter, too focused on undoing buttons of his dress shirt to give the song name. “It was an accident. I spotted the hoodie on the sale. L—Liked the color. Later found out it’s them,” you babble.

The feeling of your fingers exploring his bare chest and belly is blend of disconcerting relief and irritation. He waited for this moment for so long that now, when he finally has you, the touch of fingers isn’t enough to meet his expectations.

You place a kiss on his chin but before you can reach higher, Hiromi’s mouth is on your neck. One hand wraps around your waists, pulling you closer to him, yet still not close enough in his opinion. He wishes he could absorb you. He wants to feel the heat coming from your skin and your heartbeat quickening.

The other hand finds your buttcheek and squeezes it hard. The moan that escapes your lips is like long-awaited music in his ear. Hiromi can’t help himself and bites your earlobe to get more reactions out of you. And when that stops being enough, he starts sucking your neck and giving you hickeys while his hands roam freely all over your body, finding their way under the hoodie.

Considering how your fingers have made big mess out of his haircut and how now they dig deep into his shoulders, he assumes he's doing a good job so far.

“These damn legs of yours,” he mumbles into your ear while lifting you up so you could wrap your legs around him.

Hiromi carries you to the couch where he takes off your hoodie together with the work uniform underneath it. Your sports bra is black, and nicely molds itself to your breasts. He can see your perky nipples through the fabric at which his erection grows larger.

You pull him towards you by tugging on his tie. Very soon your bra ends up on the floor as well when Hiromi places himself above you. The way he cups his hands around your breasts, squeezing your nipples between his thumbs and index fingers, puts your dirty needs to another level.

“I’ve been waited for so long to feel them,” Hiromi whispers right before your face, a hair's length away from touching your lips. His voice is so quiet you have a problem hearing him. “You’re blushing,” he notices, making you look away and mutter an embarrassed “shatap”.

“Better hurry up and suck them,” you pout at him, you have hard time talking at this point, your throat dry and voice distorted by hoarseness.

Hiromi’s smirk gets bigger.

“It’s nice to know you want it as bad as I do,” he says before leaning over.

DING DONG.

Hiromi opens his eyes. At first he doesn’t even recognize his own apartment, the view from the couch is downright unrealistic. With his swollen eyes he looks for any sign of yours presence, because even if he knows you weren’t here, his mind doesn’t want to give up. Not yet. He can’t help it, his professional tendency to hope for the best and be ready for the worst speaks through him.

But the longer he stares at his empty apartment and the longer he can’t find any part of the clothes that he just took off of you, the more and more the disappointing reality seeps through his mind.

Ding dong…

Oh, right - the doorbell. He looks at the door, then at the bulge in his pants, sighing at the bitter unfinished business. What one pizza delivery girl can do to a man who doesn’t even like pizza…

He slowly gets up, massaging his sore nape that the couch header have gave him as he approaches the door. A doubtful thought on the back on his head whispers to him that he may see you behind it - with your high-tied ponytail, a hoodie and unearthly legs - and that his dream have been prelude to the main event.

Hiromi opens the door and sees the most average looking stranger.

Yeah, he thinks, taking the pizza and mumbling thanks, life isn’t that pretty, is it? He doesn't think about covering himself or even feel embarrassed about it. There’s just pure disappointed in his heart and an annoying tightness in his boxers.

He closes the door. What a shame it wasn’t you.

there is a possibility that a second part will be written. thanks for reading!

#jujutsu kaisen fic #jjk smut #jjk x y/n #jjk higuruma #jjk hiromi #jjk higuruma x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #higuruma x reader #hiromi higuruma

[hauntedhokage]

PART 11: Dance

WORD COUNT: 2.8k

SUMMARY:  Bakugou proves to be a good date for events where you’re the star. 

[series masterlist] | {ao3} | [tumblr masterlist] | {ko-fi} | [spotify playlist]

It was basically a date, and he wished that Kirishima hadn’t said it like that before hanging up on him. Now he couldn’t really focus on tying his tie correctly, so the knot looked like shit and he was going to light it on fire. He was going to blame his wrist, it’d been tweaked in a fight earlier that day so it wasn’t impossible that he’d have difficulty tying his tie with the dull ache in the joint. 

“Take good care of my babygirl on your date, babygirl,” had been what Kirishima had left him with before hanging up, and he knew the redhead was laughing after hanging up on him. As if he’d do anything intentionally that would risk ruining whatever he was building with you. 

It was basically a date, but he wanted to ask you out on a proper first one. Not some event that you were technically working at as a public figure, where there would be hundreds of people around watching and wanting to talk to you. He walked to take you out somewhere quiet, private, maybe a nice dinner? Or perhaps he’d cook? Either way, it had to be special. He wanted to show you that he was really trying to get some time with you. 

He just hoped you’d forgive him tonight for the undone tie as he comes to stand in front of your door. Three careful knocks with his non-injured hand and he’s stepping back, only to realize he was empty handed - meaning the flowers he’d gotten you were sitting on the dining table and that wasn’t ideal in the slightest. He didn’t want to show up empty handed, but that’s what he had done and he can’t go back to fix it because you’re opening the door and it takes everything in him to look at your face instead of staring too long at your figure in your dress. It was almost annoying how beautiful you were - it was extremely annoying how you made his brain short circuit. 

“Hey,” you greet with a smile, and he nods with his own uncertain one as you reach for your purse.

“You look pretty,” is the only thing he can say when you step out of your apartment, and he hates himself for it. There were other words, better words, and all he had was “pretty”? Embarrassing. But you’re still smiling as you lock your door, and take his hand when he offers it. “That wasn’t a great word. Beautiful is a better word.”

“Thank you, Katsuki. Do you want help with your tie?”

“Could you? I tried a few times but the knot kept looking shitty.” You nod at that, moving to stand in front of him properly and gently taking the two ends in your hands. “Hurt my wrist earlier, so rotating it hasn’t been easy.”

“How’d you hurt it? Landing on the ground?”

“Really hard punch.”

“Ah.” Your chuckle is breathy as your fingers nimbly work the fabric into a knot around his neck. You’re careful as you tighten it to his neck, then your hands carefully smooth it down as you look up at him through your lashes. “Want me to do what I do for Eiji when he’s got an ache? Says it makes him feel better.”

He can only nod, offering you the injured arm and watching with interest as your fingers carefully undo the button of his cuff before they probe and try to massage around the stressed joint and tendons. It does feel a bit better after a moment of massaging, but what he thinks blocks out the pain is the way you lean in and place the gentlest of kisses to the inside of his wrist. Residue from your lipstick is left behind, but he wants to keep it there forever while he watches you correct the cuff and smile up at him. 

“Better?”

“Much, thank you.”

“Can’t have my dance partner working with an injury, now can I?” And he’s relieved that you’re not nervous, that you don’t hesitate to take his offered arm and let him lead you away from your door and down to his car. “And I’m sorry you had to pick me up, I thought this dress was in Eiji’s closet but it wasn’t and-“

“Don’t worry about it, makes it feel like a date y’know?” You look up at him with a smile that eases his nerves, your confident nod of agreement at his suggestion bringing him to a new level of calm he’d not yet achieved in your presence. He was doing okay. 

But then he feels less than okay when he’s getting out of the car, sees how many people are there and how many of them want to talk to you. He knew you were popular, very well known in the community, but this was near pro hero status. If you revealed a quirk and started fighting villains you’d be number one hero instantly, you didn’t even need to fight for popularity or do any of the stupid shit other heroes did to look better on the rankings. That was just how incredible you were. 

“You’re not, like…working, are you?”

“You’re always working when you’re considered a public figure,” you respond, smirk on your face as he rolls his eyes. “But no, I’m not reporting or anything like that. That was this afternoon for the actual ribbon cutting and all of that.”

“And this is fundraising.”

“Correct. Deku was kind enough to offer himself up for a dinner date as a silent auction prize so you or Eiji wouldn’t have to.”

“How come you’re not an auction prize?” You’d be wonderful for it; beautiful and smart, well known, a dinner date with you would be any sane person’s dream. You’d generate a lot of money for something like that, but he was sure you knew that. 

“You’ve met our boyfriend. He’d end up watching from a distance to make sure I was safe.” 

“Or bankrupt himself to make sure he beat me for it.”

“You’d bid on me?”

“Who wouldn’t?” He asks, noticing the way you falter slightly at his statement. “You’re the whole package, without the fact that you’re Japan’s favorite newswoman. A date with you would be an honor.“

“You’ve been this charming all this time?” You tease, waving to some politician he recognized before looking back to him. “Maybe your quirk is actually hiding talents.”

“Don’t give me too much credit. It apparently only works on you and the hardhead.”

“Have you tried it on anyone else?”

“Not interested in the results.” He swears he felt your hand hold his arm tighter and gives you a small smile before giving the room a once over. Partly looking for Red Riot who would be shaking hands and kissing babies, but also mapping out entry and exit points should they be needed and taking note of anyone who looked like they’d be a threat. Eijirou’s red hair is spotted quickly and coming towards them just as fast, and the different entry points are noted accordingly just as the working hero makes his appearance. 

“You two look great together,” Eijirou compliments, leaning in to steal a kiss from you while opting for a simple handshake from his boyfriend. An exchange of squeezes happens during the shake, a covert way for the lovers to greet each other more fondly while out in public. “Of course those outfits would look better on the floor, but-“

“Eiji!” “Shut up!” You and Katsuki both hiss, faces warm as Eijirou laughs at your expense. 

“Had to get one in. You two have fun, I’ll check in later.”

“It’s like he’s our chaperone or something,” the blonde grumbles, something that has you smiling as you find your seats. He pulls your chair out for you and everything, and you don’t miss the way he scoots his chair closer to yours once he's seated at the table. 

“How nervous are you right now?” You ask, placing a gentle hand on his back when he sighs. “It’s okay to be nervous, I know this isn’t exactly your scene.”

“Who said anything about being nervous?” This was the pro hero face coming out to play, the confident smirk he flashed your way telling you as much. This was not the same guy who picked you up at your door, but if this was what he had to do to get comfortable then so be it. “How many pictures will we have to be in?”

“You can probably get away with none. You’re just Katsuki Bakugou tonight, right?”

“Yeah, but a picture or two with you and maybe the loudmouth hero would be nice.”

“Well then,” you start, pulling your phone from your clutch purse and opening the front facing camera. “Let’s get the first one or two of the night.”

Three months ago you never would have considered taking selfies with Katsuki, but now you’re here and making faces with your head bumped against his as you snap away. You know Eijirou is watching, he was always watching, and you know he’s proud of both of you at how comfortable you’d grown around each other. This was huge. 

Three months ago you were dancing around Katsuki, trying to stay out of his way to keep things easy for Eijirou - keep the peace in your relationships. Now you’re in the middle of the dance floor with his hand on your hip and the other holding your hand and letting him lead you in a dance. You’re not nervous, despite having stepped on his foot twice already, and he’s as calm as ever which helps you relax more. For someone who hated these kinds of events, he truly blended in quite well and looked as though he was running the show. But you supposed that was just Katsuki, from what you’d been told by their friend group he was a natural leader even if he lacked tact.

“Didn’t take you for much of a dancer,” you comment, keeping your eyes fixed on Katsuki as he leads you in a simple waltz. “Did you take lessons with your mom?”

“No, lessons with Eijirou. Said grace would help with our hero work and I fell for it.”

“But you had fun?”

“Of course. Where’d you learn to dance?”

“Lessons with Eijirou in my living room. He said my attempt at a two step was a shame to anyone with eyes who had to witness it.” Your explanation has him shaking his head with a smile, seeming to be in disbelief. “What?”

“Hard to picture you being bad at anything, since everything looks so natural when you do it.” 

“I was bad at talking to you.”

“That doesn’t count since that’s my fault. Everyone is bad at talking to me.”

“By your design, no?” 

“You’re not wrong, but I’ve been trying to be better.” He leaves out the for you that rests on the tip of his tongue, since the middle of an impromptu dance floor doesn’t feel like the place for a statement like that. It was too loaded and there were too many ears around that could catch the admission of vulnerability.

“It shows, too. I know it’s not easy for you to let people in, but I appreciate that you’re trying.”

“You make it easy to try.”

You’d quickly disagree with that statement, but this isn’t the time or place to argue with him. Instead you only smile, gently giving his shoulder a squeeze as he continues to lead you on the dance floor. You also want to tell him that it’s nice to be so close to him, that he smells nice and his hands are soft and that you’d let him dance with you for hours if he wanted to. This isn’t the time or the place for any of that, you don’t think, but you’d tell him at some point. Maybe if you got him on a real date, one where you weren’t surrounded by a bunch of people you vaguely knew, you could tell him how much you liked being around him.

He excuses himself to use the restroom after a couple more dances, and you find yourself leaving the dance floor as well in favor of browsing the silent auction items. You’d been told that if you saw something you wanted in the auction lineup to make a bet that was ridiculously high in Eijirou’s name, something that made you tempted to bid on the lunch with Deku just for giggles. But instead there’s a custom kimono design and fitting session that is of great interest to you beside a hot spring retreat for two and you place bids on both, since you sometimes needed more traditional attire and knew that the guys needed a break if they could get the time off. But even if you lost, you’d treat the boys to a hot spring and Eijirou would want to know what you bid on to plan for your next birthday or Christmas. 

“Whatcha doin’, pretty lady?” 

Speak of the devil. 

“Browsing the auction items. Bid on a couple but really thinking about lunch with Deku.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, he’s my favorite hero.”

“Is he now?” You could feel him getting closer, the smile on your face growing as you know he’s working hard to contain himself. “Not this dashing and chivalrous hero?”

“Red Riot often asks me for nudes, so he’s not all that chivalrous.”

“You’re so mean, baby. What were you looking at though?”

“There’s a custom kimono design and fitting session, I haven’t looked at much else past that point though.” And you watch as he bends over to look at the clipboard better, then hastily pens Katsuki’s name and a bid only to put his name down once more with a much higher bid. It was too much, in your opinion, but you know better than to fight him on it. “But how are you?”

“If I have to take one more picture in the next ten minutes, I’m going to jump into moving traffic,” Eijirou whispers in your ear, his hand grazing your hip before he turns you so you’d face him properly. “But fuck if you don’t look gorgeous tonight. My inspiration to be on my best behavior.”

“Thank you, handsome,” you murmur, letting him lean in to steal a kiss as the song changes. “Can I steal you away from photo ops for a dance?”

“I’d turn myself in to the police if I didn’t get to dance with you at least once tonight.”

“What would your crime be?” You ask as he takes your hand to lead you back towards the dance floor. 

“Gross negligence of a beautiful woman. You deserve the best and if I didn’t dance with you, that wouldn’t be me.” These aren’t even chivalrous hero lines, this is just Eijirou at his corniest and most loving, and you love to bask in his attention. He always made you feel so warm inside when he spoke to you like that, and you didn’t think he knew exactly what that did to you. “Speaking of dancing, Bakugou leads you in some impressive numbers. Those dance lessons paid off for you both.”

“He’s a fun date, I’m having a great time with him.” You tell Eijirou, smiling when he carefully adjusts a stray lock of your hair. “Are you having fun watching us?”

“Watching you two like each other is very entertaining. Feel like a proud parent right now.”

“You’re awful.”

“But you love me.” He teases with a grin, leaning in and carefully nuzzling his nose against yours as he continues to dance with you. “Love me so much, don’t you baby?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” you whisper, not at all phased when he kisses you around so many people. This was your man, after all, he was allowed to make displays like this - especially when he was in his costume. “You love me too, yeah?”

“With all I’ve got. You and him are my whole world, y’know?”

“Yeah, Eiji, I know. You guys are mine too.”

“Softie.”

“Keep it up and you won’t see this dress on the floor.”

He would, you both knew he’d get anything he wanted for doing this for you. The not-so-subtle way his hand moved from your hip to squeeze your ass told you that he knew just as well as you did that he’d get spoiled rotten.

“Hey baby?” You hum your acknowledgement, resting your head on his shoulder as he brings your feet to rest on his. “You guys are probably not staying for the whole thing, are you?”

“You don’t have to stay either. I said an hour or two, but duty can call at any time.”

“I think duty will call in about twenty minutes.”

“I’ll try to get us out of here in thirty.” You assure as the song ends, reluctantly stepping away from him so you could look up at him better and earning yourself a kiss on your forehead. “We’ll see you at home, babe.”

#alp #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou imagine #kirishima x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugo imagine #kiribaku #mha fanfic #bnha fanfic

[crypticdesire]

to go for keeps

MINORS DNI

dom gn reader x sub rook hunt (around 3.2k words)

cw: no genitals specified for reader, pet play, piss, scent kink, mentioned weed/drug use and both reader and rook are still coming down from their high

You’re slowly pulled from your sleep, not positive if you’re still dreaming or not. Your head feels foggy, more so than usual when you wake up, and you realize you’re still feeling the residual effects of the high from edibles you had with Rook earlier that day. He lays sleeping beside you, and more aware of his presence now, you wrap your arms around him a little tighter. Chin resting on the top of his head, you settle into the feeling created by your hazy mind, which is one that makes your body feel loose and light.

That feeling is probably why it took you a few minutes to realize what had woken you up in the first place. Legs entangled with Rook’s, a soft knot of anticipation tightens in the pit of your stomach as all your senses focus on the way he gently humps your thigh. When you hear his quiet whimpering you question your earlier assumption that he was still sleeping.

“Rook?” You whisper his name without moving, not wanting to disturb him if he isn’t awake. You feel his head shift under your chin, and you assume he’s looking at you now when you can’t feel it anymore.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” His voice is just the slightest bit hoarse, and you chuckle at the genuine question.

“Yes, but I don’t mind” An understatement. “It looks like you might need me for something.” You move your thigh a bit so it presses directly onto his clothed cock, which is hard as predicted.

“Mmm,” he faintly moans, grinding against you as he buries his face into your chest.

“Were you having a dirty dream?” Your fingers absentmindedly rake through his hair.

“Non” his muffled voice replies. “I woke up needing to relieve myself, but you’re so warm…. I needed to hold it” It takes your disorganized thoughts a moment to fully piece together the implications of such a situation.

“Needed to, huh?” The hand tangled in his hair now rests at the top of his back, thumb caressing the nape of his neck. “It’s not a want but a need to be pressed against me then?” You can feel yourself becoming more turned on with his every mumbled word.

“Mmmhmm,” he hums in agreement, nuzzling further into your chest, grinding against you a bit harder, legs squeezing yours between them a bit tighter. “So warm…” he begins to languidly kiss your skin, slowly working his way up to your neck.

“And smells so good” You hear him inhale your scent before giving some small licks to your skin.

“My bunny just can’t help himself” You massage his hip with one hand, a desire to massage his bladder crossing your lust-driven mind. His movements still at your words. All except his legs which somehow squeeze your thigh even tighter. Was he about to let go? So early?

He lets out a guttural sound before he can manage any words.

“I want to…”

“You want to what, bunny?” He whimpers at your words and you soon realize the cause behind the arousal that’s overwhelmed him.

“I want to be your bunny” He licks your neck again. “Please”

“I’d love to play with my bunny” It’s so hard for you to resist bucking your hips into him. “But I need a bunny who’s a good boy and only pees when I tell him he can. Do you think you can be a good bun-“

“Oui” he clings to you, his voice filled with need. If not for the remnants of your high, you would have reprimanded him for interrupting you, but instead, you’re easily amused, giggling. He begins rubbing himself against you again.

“Always so excitable. Better hurry and get yourself prepared bunny.” He’s hesitant to untangle himself from you, thighs still clutching yours.

“If I don’t see my bunny soon, I might fall back asleep” You fake a yawn though your eyes are genuinely heavy.

“D’accord” He pauses and you can’t tell if he’s bracing his bladder or if the connection between his brain and body is still effete. With a shaky exhale he finally gets himself to move away from you, turning on the lamp beside the bed before getting up. Your eyes follow his movements for a moment as he makes his way to the drawer with his accessories, amused by the lack of his normal smooth grace.

Reluctantly you take your eyes off him so you can undress and do your preparations, your steps having no more grace than his. You know you need towels for the bed, but your thoughts fumble around your head and you can’t grasp an idea of anything else you need.

Rook waits somewhat patiently for you to lay out the towels as he stands already undressed, thighs squeezed together and legs crossed. You try not to glance at his face, knowing you’d get too easily distracted by your bunny. You happen to glance at the carafe on the nightstand, which intensifies your desire and awareness of Cottonmouth. You fill the two short glasses to the rim and finally allow yourself to look at his desperate eyes as you hand one to him.

“I want you to drink all of this” Like the loyal pet he is, he takes it with a smile on his face despite the intense feeling of a full bladder. Your eyes drift to the fluffy grey ears atop his head and then down to the collar he selected. It’s one of your favorites: a lavender collar with lace, a satin bow, and a metal ring in the middle he loves you to hook your finger around, pulling him closer. Watching his Adam’s apple bob as he empties the glass makes you crave the feeling of having a full bladder yourself, so you get settled at the head of the bed, trying to not let any of the sloshing water spill out of your glass but being unsuccessful. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind the little spill though. Rook was going to be spilling a lot more than that anyway.

“Come here, pretty bunny” You pat the bed in between your spread legs after Rook puts his glass down and grabs the lube and his bunny tail butt plug. “I want to see your pretty face while you play with yourself.” You enjoy watching him thrusting his own fingers into his entrance, but right now you want to see his face more, eager to see him look at you with adoration, desperation, and gratification.

His movements are slow as he positions himself on his hands and knees in front of you, his deep breathing and expression of concentration as he focuses on holding his bladder making you palm yourself a bit over your underwear.

“Here, let me help you out little bunny” You set your glass down for a second so that you can squirt lube onto his fingers, making it easier for him to begin stretching himself.

“Merci maître” his lidded gaze is focused on you as he reaches behind him and begins to spread the lube on his outer rim. He attempts to keep that gaze on you even as he pushes the tip of his finger into his entrance, gasping and biting his lip. You give him some more lube to work into his entrance, and while he does that you empty your glass of water. And another one. You want so badly to cup his cheeks, suck on his tongue, and tell him he’s a good boy, but you know that would send your loyal pet over the edge, losing control of his bladder before you want him to.

So instead you only allow yourself to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, even that small touch still causing him to whimper and screw his eyes shut. He tries to lean into your touch, but you just let your fingertips graze the fluff of his bunny ears before taking it away. Rook opens his eyes searching for your hand, pleading eyes burning into you as he begins to rock his hips back into his hand, two fingers now able to fit fully inside him. There are a few times you know he almost lets go because he freezes, his face slightly wincing, but when that moment passes he continues his ministrations until he’s able to fit three fingers inside of himself.

“Good boy” you praise him as he holds up his bunny tail butt plug to you so you can coat it in lube. He whines at your words and takes a deep breath before he begins to push the tip of the plug inside of him, gasping as he works it in further with small circular motions. You had stopped palming yourself moments prior not wanting to get carried away too soon. There’s still evidence of your arousal, however, a small damp spot showing on your underwear. Rook has yet to notice, his eyes still screwed shut as he continues to press the toy into him. He’s making slow but steady progress when all of a sudden he gasps, the hand that was holding the plug swiftly moving to cover his cock as he falls onto his elbow.

“Merde” he shakily moans, burying his face into his arm. You feel yourself spasm below your waist turned on by his actions and study his movements. The only movement you see is the subtle movement of his hips as he gently grinds himself into his hand, thighs coming closer together. He flinches as he feels the back of your hand softly stroke the hair behind his bunny ears.

“Aw, did my bunny almost have an accident” you coo. He doesn’t respond right away, but you continue stroking his hair until he can look up at you, unshed tears dotting the corners of his eyes. He looks ashamed.

“I- a little came out” he admits but he quickly adds on, “but I stopped it for you. I wanted to please you” his lips form a pout. You slightly lift his chin with your finger.

“You really tried to be a good boy, didn’t you?” He nods earnestly, hanging on your every word. “I’m not mad, bunny. You just need some more training.” He nods again.

“But we’ll do that another day, yeah? I think you did enough to get a small treat” His eyes light up and if he had been a different type of pet you know he would be wagging his tail.

“Would my bunny like to fuck-“ he’s already nodding his head before you can finish your sentence, “my thighs and empty his bladder?”

“Please” it’s barely above a whisper.

“Good. Let me just fix your tail” he had pushed it far enough that it didn’t fall out when he took his hand away, so you lean forward and slowly push it until the rest is nested inside him, causing him to moan in response.

“I’m ready when you are, pretty bunny” You permit him to get up after you’ve laid back and applied some lube to your inner thighs. He glances at your underwear and back to your face wordlessly asking if he can remove them, but you shake your head, smirking.

“Not yet” He’s so excited to fuck your thighs, however, he doesn’t even look disappointed at your answer. Carefully getting up on his knees and moving forward, you lift your legs, allowing him to push them together. He ruts against you at first, pressing a few kisses onto your calves before he begins to push his hard cock between your thighs.

“Merde” he gasps, and you can feel him trembling by the time he’s pushed his cock all the way through, his body flush against your legs.

“Mon maître feels so good” he follows his words with a string of moans as he begins moving, slowly thrusting until he feels capable of more. You stimulate yourself with your fingers as he speeds up, grip on your legs becoming tighter. His dick slides easily between your thighs, and you know he’s getting close when he thrusts with more fervor, his balls slapping the back of your legs.

“Ah, you look so cute bunny rutting into me so eagerly. I know you can hardly keep yourself from finishing. How desperate you are to mark me with your scent, so you just let go, bunny.” You reach forward, loosely grasping the top of his dick as his movements slow so you can rub his tip, eliciting a strangled moan.

“Show me how badly you want me to keep you.” Your words finally cause him to lose control, warm liquid splattering against your stomach. He’s quick to separate your legs so he can fully see you as he continues to relieve himself, taking hold of his cock so he can aim his stream at your crotch.

“Good boy. You were holding so much” you moan, involuntarily bucking your hips a bit, burning with desire. His smile is delirious as his stream tapers off and he ruts his cock against you, his length pressed against your soaked underwear. You cup your hand over the top of it, creating a small pocket to give him more friction, which gets him to climax, eyes rolling back as you feel a thick rope of cum spurt over your skin.

You keep your hand squeezed against his length as he comes down from his high, gripping your hips and babbling ‘merci’ over and over as he continues to gently rub himself against you. He looks so dazed and unaware of his movements that you’re surprised when he looks directly into your eyes, rubbing circles into your skin, eyes having a new light of desire in them.

“S’il vous plaît, maître. Can I smell you?”

“Go ahead, pretty bunny” He grins excitedly as he lays down on his stomach, the tip of his nose grazing your damp underwear.

“Mmmm” he moans, pressing his nose further into you, inhaling your scent. You haven’t come yet, but you can feel the tightness growing in the pit of your stomach. You twitch as he continues to rub his face up against you, quivering as he gives you a small lick. He looks up at you, wordlessly asking your permission to continue, which you give with a nod of your head.

“That feels so good, bunny” You grasp his golden locks, careful not to disturb his bunny ears as you grind yourself against his face, muffling his moans of pleasure. “You just love smelling our scents mixed together, don’t you? Leaving a trace of yourself on me”

“Mmmhmm” he stops and tilts his head towards you as his fingers play with the top edge of your underwear. “Can I smell more of you? Please?”

“Yes, because I know you’re going to make me feel good, bunny.” He bobs his head in agreement not wasting any time before he takes off your underwear not even trying to hide his excitement at burying his face into your pubic hair. He nuzzles his nose into you, and you can feel him inhale.

“You’re wet from my piss that leaked through your underwear” He observes and smiling in delight, he rubs his cheek up against you as well causing you to move your hips to chase the friction of his touch. He then draws a long line against you with his tongue, letting his tongue take more time roaming your most sensitive parts. Despite your loud moan, you still can make out the sound of the giddy giggle he lets out with his face still up against you.

“What?” The word is a mix of a chuckle and another moan. When he tilts his head up you’re met with an amused grin and eyes shining with adoration.

“I just love that you let me mark you like this.” He inhales your scent again as if to make his point. “I love you so much” he presses a kiss on the tip of your sensitive area. “I want your scent on me too” he nuzzles his cheek against you again before adding, “Please.”

“What a desperate bunny” You can’t hold back your chuckle. “I gave you a treat and you still ask for more and more.”

“Please” he begs again.

“Lay on your back greedy bunny” You easily give in still needing to get off yourself anyway. He wiggles his hips in excitement before doing as you asked, looking at you with open anticipation. You straddle his waist, no layers of clothing between you as you grind against his cock.

“Agh” Rook groans and grips your thighs tightly. Your hands are splayed across his chest, holding your weight as you slowly begin to move your hips.

“Fuck. It feels so good using you like this bunny” You close your eyes enjoying the feeling of you essentially frotting with him. You grind deeper into him, moving your hips in circular motions, keeping a slow pace so you can coax yourself to relaxation and release.

When Rook feels your warm piss begin to pool on top of him, he becomes a whining and writhing mess. The sight of him in such a state with your piss spilling over him combined with the relief of release has you close to your climax, so now you allow yourself to rut against him with more zeal.

It’s your excited bunny that cums again first, wildly bucking his hips up into you when your pace speeds up until a thin stream of cum spurts out of him. Still grinding against him, you swipe your thumb along his stomach, collecting a mix of your piss and his cum that you bring to his lips. He eagerly sucks on the pad of your thumb and after he's done you slip your finger through the metal loop on his collar, pulling him closer to you for a messy but passionate kiss where you take his tongue between your lips. You feel his hand move between your bodies to assist with your climax.

“Ah, you’re such a good bunny” You give him one more praise before you cum against him, crying his name. Your thighs slightly tremble as you lay down on his chest, both of you out of breath.

“C’était magnifique” Rook whispers breathlessly, wrapping his arms around you. You smile against his skin, reaching a hand up to affectionately stroke his hair. He catches your hand kissing your wrist before he allows you to do so. You hum in content, your body and mind feeling light. You don’t even mind all the sweat, cum, and piss slicked onto both of your bodies even when it makes you a bit cooler as it dries.

“We should get cleaned up, but I just want to lie here with you a bit longer” you admit, gazing up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. You’re met with similar droopy eyes and a fond smile.

“I want whatever you want” Rook responds easily, holding you even tighter against him. You already knew it to be true, but you're never letting go of your bunny.

a note from vern: i think i looked at this fic for too long bc i got to the point where it started to seem meh with Rook being ooc and a bit boring but i'm going to trust that's just my dysfunctional brain. anyways if you wanted some insight into some horny thoughts floating around my brain on 4/20, here it is !!

#twisted wonderland #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #dom reader #sub rook #cw piss #cw pet play #cw drug use #cw scent kink

[onismdaydream]

HIIII!!!!! it's me again, the most obsessed and horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

Didn't have anything to do today so I have been on tumbler looking for any yuji content I can get my hands on :p! And I am just OBSESSED with headcanons, specifically yuji as your boyfriend! AHH!!!

Like, how would he first tell you he likes you? How long would it take? Ugh, now me personally, I can only imagine having a movie night alone, megumi and nobara canceled ofc because they don't want to watch whatever bs movie yuji picks :(. And then so there you are, Both cuddled up on the couch, a little to close together, and he is just.. so flustered! But why? It's not like he likes you or anything! Well, turns out he does and he JUST realized. So when the two protagonists in the romantic comedy yall are watching suddenly confess, he can't hold it back! It just blurts out of his mouth..which would be a bad thing, until you reveal you like him back!♡

Idk, I just find it soo cute, and honestly totally something he would do. 🤷‍♀️. But then like, first date? Would he take you to eat, the movies, or maybe to the mall?

Now this one, I'm not too sure, to many options and I love them all, but he would DEFINITELY make it romantic and cute ><!

Okay, but now like one of the MILLION dollar questions is.... how would he act on your period!

I'm sorry, but every single small headcanon, or fic of how ANYBODY would treat you while ur on your period is straight up Crack to me. I NEED IT. I love the wholesome headcanons. 😔🎀!

I think.. he would notice that your acting different, he cares about you after all so he notices every little thing. So when he sees you look uncomfy or maybe rubbing you hand on your thigh, trying to relieve some pain.. he asks you what's wrong! And when you tell him, I feel like he would IMMEDIATELY do whatever you want to make you feel better. LITERALLY.

"Oh. Really? Is there anything I can do?"

Chocolate? In ur hands the second you ask. Meds for the pain, he's got them? Blanket? YES! cuddles? Okay, is that even a question? OBVI!!!

Second million dollar question is how/what he would do yalls first time. Last headcanon i said was crack, but this one is like all drugs COMBINED. I like to think it would be a makeout session gone to far..

That movie you played has a sex scene, which, really doesn't bother you or him.. or it usually doesn't. Today though, a small thought forms in his brain. How would you look? Sound? Smell? Taste? Feel..? And then it's akward, because you're so close, and his hand just starts massaging your thigh, and he has to kiss you! Which at this point in the relationship isn't like super surprising, I'm sure yuji loves to kiss you. But this one feels different, yujis face is just soo pink, and he almost can't keep his hands off of you! Cupping one cheek while pushing you down on the couch with the other, so he's on top.. then one of his knees pushes your thighs apart.. 🧎‍♀️

You know the rest.

But I also like to think maybe yall are making out, you on top of his lap, but you can't stop squirming! And it really isn't on purpose, you swear.. but yuji can only take so much, And eventually he can't hide his moans anymore!

Yeah idk I feel like humping n shit, maybe cummin in his pants is SO hot. UGH

I don't think it would really be planned..😋🎀

Also, I feel like he would be super flustered and kinda embarrassed with oral. In the sense that, he could spend hours between your thighs (we all know he's a munch), but the first time you ask to suck him off, he probably turns into a whiny mess.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THIS. Like- I'm sorry, but no matter how dominant or kinky people make yuji, which I won't lie I love, you CANNOT tell me this man doesn't whine or moan your name. You simply can't. LOOK AT HIM.!!! 🧎‍♀️🙏

I just, have so many thoughts and headcanons.. l can't control myself yuji headcanons are literally my drug. I love the subby ones, the Dom ones, fluff ones, smut ones... I DONT CARE. If a yuji headcanon exists, I WILL read it.

Omg, I have so much more but I have already made this soo long. I honestly just wanted to ask if you would ever make your own yuji head canons? Maybe you already have and I can't find it.. BUT LET ME KNOW!

I just HAVE to know what headcanons are floating around in that wonderful brain of yours!♡

Also so glad to see you liked my past rant♡♡!!!

I really hope you have a good day/night!!!! Make sure ur taking care of urself babes bc I can't survive without you><! 🎀

(Also sorry for any typos or whatever, this was 100% rushed because my fingers physically cannot keep up with all the thoughts I have of yuji.)

With a heart full of love, and a brain full of yuji,

-your horniest yuji lover!♡🎀

hi lovely <333

gonna put this under a read more so it doesn't take up too much space!

oooh headcanons are fun!! i don't post a ton, not for any particular reason, i just seem to gravitate towards snippets in established relationships.

omg yuji just blurting it out :(( what a sweetheart! he is mortified but i feel like he would try his best to play it cool, though his face feels like it's on fire from how flushed it is!! but then you tell him that you also like him and he visibly relaxes SO much and has the biggest smile on his face and he immediately wants to hug you and hold you close <3

i think for first dates, he would lean towards movies/mall, this way it's still semi-public. it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you alone (he wants to soooo badly), but i think he thinks he has to take it slow and be sweet and gentlemanly. like he was definitely taught the "proper way" to court a girl by his grandfather, so he holds doors open for you and pulls out your chair and brings you flowers and stuff and its just so sweet of him idk. he might hesitate a bit for pda stuff, but once you give him the okay, he is constantly holding your hand or wrapping an arm around you!! maybe even asking for a kiss!! (side note: i think yuji gets all pouty when you forget to give him a goodbye kiss later in the relationship)

yes!! yuji would ABSOLUTELY be doing anything and everything for you as soon as he notices any symptoms or side effects. he's also the type to track your period on his phone lol just so he can prepare and give you some chocolate or whatever else might help! he is just like. the nicest and most caring boyfriend ever <3333

OOOH i love love love both of those for first time ughhh!! i have a fic i've been meaning to work on more but i'm just a little too fried to write much of anything, anyway its a dry humping fic with yuji because i just know he loves the feeling of it ! he can't even get embarrassed from cumming in his pants because it feels so good and he likes how dirty it is (he's a bit of a perv :3). BUT i also love the idea that he just can't help himself and he's so wrapped up in the moment that he doesn't even notice that his knee is pressing against your core... like he's licking into your mouth and grinding against you and you have to pull away because holy shit this feels great and you want more!! and it's kinda rushed and messy, barely taking clothes off but you both need each other so bad!!! (he makes up for it by taking his time with you for round 2 lol)

oh what i would GIVE to suck his dick... yuji is 100% super vocal in my opinion, like he cannot be quiet, which is why his mouth is always on you when he's fucking you! he's always kissing or biting or talking, so when you're sucking him off, he is left to just talk and make so much noise. whining and praising you because it feels so good to have your mouth wrapped around him <3 like imagine sitting between his strong thighs, looking up at him, and his eyes are half lidded, mouth open as he breaths heavily, tongue darting out to lick at his lips, muscles flexing as he tries not to force your head further down or buck his hips up.... ugh he's so hot...

i'd love to write more headcanons and other things for yuji!! its just a matter of me getting inspired or having the energy right now. work has been super draining for me so its been a little difficult to get my brain working lol but im hoping it'll pass in a few weeks

thank you for sharing these with me!!! i love hearing other people's thoughts and headcanons like its just so fun to see what's similar and whatnot :3

#.asks #.anon #yuji lover 🎀 anon #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuji itadori

[dalishborne]

misc. headcanons:

my current thoughts are that revie hasn't actually killed anyone before - at least not intentionally. the first time she's done enough intentional harm to kill was during the attack on her clan that killed her keeper, even so that was in self defence. HOWEVER i do think she is the sort to be willing to kill out of protection and revenge. it's never her first course of action but it's something she can be driven to do under the right circumstances.

if she chose to kill for revenge, i don't think she'd make it a quick thing. i can only think of her avenging, say, a fallen clan member for example. a loved one. i think she would drag out the killer's death for as long as she could.

as one of the inquisitor's part members, revie is probably extremely squishy lol. at least at first. she casts some pretty noice barriers & her healing abilities are sweet but someone's gonna have to watch her back while she's keeping an eye on everyone else. (she does, ofc, have some offence abilities but it's more the lack of battle practice having to fend off so many foes at once, etc. but i imagine he has to learn, and quickly, through her travels. i imagine she does become stronger with experience.)

switching gears! revie picked up sewing/tailoring in her youth, mostly because the clan needs to be resourceful, but she found that quite enjoys sewing her own clothes. i imagine she takes a lot of interest in the way she presents herself, so she intentionally dresses well and perhaps even stylishly by dalish standards (?) - most of her outfits are made by her or are hand-me-downs that she's fixed up for herself. nice fabric is always a lovely gift for her.

probably finds orlesian fashion absolutely fascinating though it may not be her cup of tea.

she also loves applying makeup on herself and others though she doesn't do it often at all. she has a small collection of pigments (i'm gonna say some are probably not skin-safe but they don't know that) but would love to get her hands on some more.

if she is wearing makeup on a daily basis, it's likely at most just something like kajal/kohl (powdered eyeliner that's applied with a stick applicator) applied the night before/slept on and the excess washed off in the morning. it'd give off a soft smokey look.

definitely collects jewelry, whether gifted, bought or handmade, and takes v good care of them (organized neatly in boxes and whatnot)

doesn't enjoy the pain of piercing/tattoos hence why she has minimal piercings. dreads when the clan-mother tells her she has earned more vallaslin bc big ouch (she is proud of her vallaslin! she just! wants it to not hurt!!)

#headcanon. #i have more that i've just been bottling up all this while lmao but!!! #just to relieve my brain of some of these #i love to think of revie as such a girly girl #it brings me Great Joy #long post tw

[foreverunraveling]

Is it just me, or does Young Royals really love to scare us, lull us into a false sense of security, and then pull the rug out from underneath us (in a way that's much worse than the original threat)?

For example, you see August clocking Wille leaving the movie before Simon in episode 2.

You (if you weren't too distracted by the scene itself) might have worried that he might show up when they were having their first kiss there. But he didn't. The show consciously created that tension and then relieved it as a foreshadowing of the much worse version of that to come later.

That tension is recreated at the end of episode 4 when August is shown outside a window at Forest Ridge.

There's a brief moment of relief--he's at Alex's window, not Wille's. While you know deep down where this has to be going, you still have a kernel of hope. And then even when he does make it to Wille's room, you can't tell it's a boy (let alone Simon) for five full seconds. Hope tries to stay alive. We all know how it ends, though--that tension snaps right back into our faces when August spots Wille and Simon moments later.

This happens on a different scale with Wille and Simon's planned weekend together in episode 3. When Wilhelm tells Simon that August will be staying at Forest Ridge, that introduces a tension of "will they get their weekend together?"

That tension of "will they get their weekend together" is relieved when Wille asks if he can come to Simon's in Bjarstad, only to AGAIN snap right back into our faces when a much bigger problem surfaces--Erik dies. So, they don't get their weekend anyways.

Hell, there's even a hint of this in episode 2 when August walks in on Wilhelm looking at Simon's Instagram before rowing practice. He doesn't actually see what Wille was doing, though--so it's okay--and he ends up taking a call from Erik.

In another way, this happens with Wilhelm and Felice's relationship from season 1 to season 2. She initially kisses him in episode 3, and we worry that he might just go with it. He doesn't, though. What a relief. In the next episode, though, once he's crown prince, Wilhelm is publicly flirting with Felice (despite her relationship with August) over how "cute" she looks in a video. But our worries about this fade with the release of the video and Felice's support into season 2...

Until they actually almost hook up in the third episode, that is.

And it's definitely not limited to Simon and Wille and their relationships. It comes up with Sara and August too. When he initially kisses her in episode 4 of season 1, you might worry that maybe Sara will respond in a less-than-healthy manner, or that she'll keep what happened to herself instead of telling Felice. Sara rebuffs him, though, and tells Felice about what happened in the stables later that episode.

Tension introduced and relieved, so we move on. But then in the final episode of season 1, Sara goes to August's room to confront him about the video. And she ends up kissing him. In season 2, they end up being in AN ENTIRE SECRET RELATIONSHIP that Sara keeps from Felice. The original fear that you might have had about August twisting his way into Sara's heart was well-founded, it seems.

There are also smaller examples. Like when you see Erik driving incredibly fast in episode 1, or when you see Wilhelm riding on the scooters with Simon, Rosh, and Ayub in episode 2, some people worried there might be some kind of accident. (He was going hands-free, for fuck's sake.)

Well, in both of those instances, everything turned out okay, while Erik's actual offscreen accident in episode 3 obviously did not.

The anxiety about Marcus catching Wilhelm and Simon kissing at the Valentine's party is momentarily alleviated when it looks like him and Simon are going inside, but then Marcus turns around and sees Wille (not to mention he sees Simon eyeing Wille throughout the entire song and during the applause).

Let's not even get started on the drugs. We thought that storyline was resolved, gone, done away with after Alexander was seemingly expelled during season 1.

But then he's back in season 2, and the question of whether anyone will tell Alex that Wilhelm was the one to pin the blame on him arises. It seems a minor issue--given that Alexander wasn't actually expelled, and he seems to like Wille, we don't necessarily expect it to matter all too much. In episode 6, though, the "drug thing" is back at the top of our list of problems. We thought that this had been dealt with! That we'd gotten past it!

But it's worse than before--there's a pill bottle with Simon's father's name on it, and August has it! August has a potential witness behind him (Alex) and is threatening to tell not just the school, but the cops!

Don't worry, though, the tension is relieved when Simon tells Wille he's not going to report August to the police... for approximately six seconds until we see that Sara is reporting August instead.

Anyways, following this pattern, you can draw some really interesting potential conclusions about season 3 based on some of the big tension reliefs that have occurred over the past two seasons. Not saying that any of these will happen, but I'm preparing myself for anything:

Wilhelm has some sort of drug OD—like Simon (and some of the audience, probably) worried on the night of the Society party. This is one I'm really hoping doesn't come up.

Wilhelm actually kills August—when Wilhelm puts that gun down, it's a massive relief for most of us (also the characters present). This would just be... wild. And would explain Omar's tweets about how crazy the season is, I guess.

Sara outs Stella's crush on Fredricka, like she was threatening to do when Felice was moving out of their room at the Manor House. Istg if she does this I might lose it.

Wilhelm's mother dies. This was definitely one idea on some people's minds when Wilhelm takes that call that turns out to be about Erik in episode 3.

Wilhelm actually abdicates. This is definitely a threat made in season 2 that was later assuaged. I'm pulling for Wilhelm taking the throne only to abolish the monarchy. That might be a bit too optimistic on my part, though.

ALTERNATIVELY, August gets the throne. They teased us with this when Wilhelm almost didn't give the speech. August was literally walking up to the podium when Wille leapt up to take his place and momentarily rescued us from the notion that August was going to be ascending the throne.

Wilhelm and/or Simon and/or Sara get pulled from Hillerska. After the video, both Simon and Sara were potentially not going to return to the school. Simon was even late for the first day back, when he missed the choir performance. And Wille was almost physically removed from the school in episode 2 of season 2. Given the statement in the trailer about the school potentially shutting down... this one doesn't seem like too much of a long shot.

It's hard to say what any of this could mean for Simon/Wilhelm's relationship—I mean, in season 1, we had about six instances where we thought we'd get Simon and Wilhelm together and originally didn't (the first music room scene, the conversation after Erik's memorial, the second music room scene/drug situation, the video leak, Wilhelm LYING about the video leak).... the reasons kept getting worse and worse, until there's a release of tension when Wille says he won't deny the video—only for it to be far more crushing when he does deny it having promised otherwise. It seems like there's a new, bigger problem every time they turn around. So far, they've overcome all of the obstacles they've faced (honestly, I don't know how)... but I can't imagine that they're about to be facing an easy course based on that trailer.

Anyways, these are my meandering thoughts about some ways that we can try to guess at what we might have coming based on the show's patterns and its use of foreshadowing. Like I said, I'm just trying to mentally prepare myself for some of the wild-ass shit that might go down. So these are some crazy scenarios based on a few fake-outs that we've had so far. I'm still hoping that they don't take the smallest, most hopeful bits of seasons 1 and 2 and crush them in season 3....

#young royals #simon × wilhelm #young royals netflix #wilmon #young royals analysis #young royals season 3 #yr s3 #young royals s3 #wilmon endgame #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #it's also possible that I just see patterns everywhere even when they're not there because that's how my brain works #and nothing even adjacent to a tension we thought was relieved will come back to us in season 3 #maybe this is all just some trope that I don't know the name of--subversion?? #maybe I'm just overthinking the storytelling #how will I survive once this show is over #help.... my entire brain is being held hostage by 10 hours of Swedish tv

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow. #it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me. #part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

[thefirstknife]

Peeked at twitter again unfortunately, and apparently people are mad that this week's seasonal story update was shorter? Literally it's a season that launches with the expansion. Every single one of those was smaller and lighter on the content.

Personally, I am enjoying that this season's storyline isn't too demanding. Clearly I love when we get a lot of lore, and we still get the usual initial dialogues, a lot of new weekly mission dialogues, ending dialogues and radio message + 2 lore pages. I have so much shit to do with Lightfall AND the exotic mission launched today which added so much new stuff to do so I was super glad that I was done with the weekly story in like 20 minutes.

Obviously the story was shorter due to the exotic mission launching alongside it. This seasonal story is also shorter in general, with only 6 weeks (6 lore pages to earn) which I am honestly relieved about because there's so much Lightfall content that I'm barely catching up with and there's the pinnacle grind that's kicking my ass because I don't want to die in every activity because an enemy looked at me. I get so overwhelmed with content when an expansion launches and there's also seasonal content. Sometimes I wish we got no season with the expansion.

So many people want things to slow down a little because we simply do not have time to grind 24/7, but then there's strange people who want a weekly update to require 6 hours of investement I guess. And of course everything in those 6 hours has to be brand new content, never before seen. If I see a single blade of grass that has been used as texture before, then Bungie is lazy. Obviously. /s

The only legitimate problem with this setup is for people who didn't get the expansion and only have the season. Their season is then not the exact same quantity as others. But it's never those people that make these complaints.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of defiance #season of defiance spoilers #i'm just. there was an entire secret exotic mission??? that has multiple parts and extra bits to do?? #and it will continue for a few weeks as well?? #i got my weekly update done and was relieved i can go back to grinding stuff i still need to do #then the exotic mission was found. by the time i finished it already took several hours of my time #people are begging on their knees for less grind but then some players are just like. 'no. release more content every week.' #actually no. release less content. #and the best part is. they didn't even skip out on any lore. we still got everything we usually get in an update #and we're getting two lore books this season #i guess it wasn't anything groundbreaking so clearly it's bad #'we just got some conversations between characters!' yes. #i think a lot of people constantly complaining about this have never like. watched a tv show without binging it #GENUINELY feels that way #idk do people expect something bombastic must happen every week? when was that ever a thing? #'if the plot doesn't move forward spectacularly then it's a bad story.' it's time to calm down #it's just more FOMO. I'm glad this was short and easy on my brain #also it'll be less of a pain to replay it with other characters

[frecklystars]

i can't sleep and i am crying and thinking of ken ;-; i love him so much i miss him so much. i have needed him so much. i miss starscream even more and i hate that the entire TF universe was taken from me and ruined. but. i. im so glad i have barbie and ken i need them so fucking bad.

im so glad i have six and sebastian and officer k, and hopefully as time goes on i'll have a few more f/os from watching more of ryan and margot's movies. im so glad i have these other universes to hop around in for a little bit. my brain seriously just wouldnt attach to anything at all and it was killing me. i want to hope i can go back to TF one day but in the meantime, im so relieved i have ken. i love him so so so so much. it feels so good to think of f/os again every moment. it feels so much better to listen to music again, watch things again, draw things again. i'm still torn into fucking pieces every time i see starscream or see something that reminds me of bee or arcee or literally whoever. im fucking destroyed. but at least now when i fall i know barbie and ken are always gonna catch me

#delete later #vent #i guess #i saw starlight on my dash and sobbed my eyes out earlier #i want to take out my brain and shake it out and get my abuser's actions out of my head #i hate that an entire. franchise. an entire fucking franchise. is a trigger. what the fuck #im still. im still baffled i know ibring it up so often but god i dont get it #normally when i get new f/os i think about them meeting my other main f/os #and i try to think of starscream or bee or whatever TF character meeting barbie/ken too #but then it makes me ache and i have to stop #i think... stsc would be relieved that im finding some relief in another universe #instead of just floating around in the coldness of space. not being in any universe at all #or sitting in our meadow and shielding myself from him as if he were a monster. he can't bear that #me backing away from him and looking at him the same way he looks at a certain warlord #as if he'd ever hurt me. but he knows i can't help it i can't control it #so he's grateful i have barbie/ken but he's also bitter because it isn't fair #neither of us saw this coming #this love wasn't supposed to be temporary #i want to hope it still isn't #otherwise what was the goddamn point #im only going to be able to afford therapy for my ptsd once a month now #when i used to go weekly. i dont know what im gonna do #im so scared it wont get better. barbie/ken i dont know how long this hyperfixation will last #when i watch all of ryan/margot's movies then what am i gonna do? #i want to keep the hyperfixation going until i can get back to TF but what if i can never get back to TF again? #i cant go back to feeling so lost again. i still feel that way but at least it's... not as strong #but i can't fucking live without self shipping and i don't want to go back to having Nothing

[theythemmer]

finally deleted my toxic twt :) already feel more normal. this last month has been the echo chamber from hell

#blabble #reached out 2 a friend for support and now have an action plan so the first thing i did was get tf off edshtwt bc that shit was insane #it’s actual scary how quick it got into my brain how how extreme the algorithm got in such a short amount of time #and like i’ve been on tumblr/forums for 15 years i am SEASONED but this new generation holy SHIT #i am disturbed by VERY few things esp regarding the human body but some of that shit made me physically ill #so i honestly just feel so relieved bc i truly didn’t think i’d be strong enough to delete . i mean . it’s an addiction and all #and the craziest part is i didn’t even intentionally make that acct it was literally MY OLD KINK ACCT I USED TO SELL CONTENT #then out of nowhere i got overrun w thinspo which quickly became bonespo and deathspo and then shtwt started appearing #then it was just full blown gore within a week #like obvs it’s my fault #we control what we consume #that’s our responsibility on the internet #but as someone with MULTIPLE. SEVERE mental illnesses this genuinely almost killed me #very scary shit. and i’m a grown ass adult. absolutely terrifying time to be a teenager online. #i be rambling but yeah tldr i think i am actually going to try get better #tw ed mention #tw sh mention

[gouinisme]

last 2 journals + next 1

#they're all pretty different styles i like that #been trying to have more fun with my journals #wait nvm i did have a journal between the eye one and the sticker one but it was completely uncustomized and didn't last long #so we'll ignore that #i also fully didn't journal for like 2 weeks bc i had done the sketch for my new journal but didn't feel like painting it #and i didnt wanna write in a black plain journal again #that feels too functional and not.. like.. it doesnt encourage me to get creative with it #anyways #turns out i had some metallic pens hiding somewhere so i used that #been feeling in a wolfy mood #i'm sad with how scuffed the stickers on my previous journal #which extra sucks cuz the letters are from bumper stickers what do you mean they're the least durable stickers i had #but oh well they were free anyways. and it kinda looks cool gives it a more well worn feel #makes the three ish months i spent carrying it around with me everywhere visible so that's nice #i really like my journals i like journaling so much #like my journals are not aesthetic whatsoever they're very practical and chaotic but i like that about them #i feel like journaling like. placebo relieves the pressure in my brain #i do not have an internal monologue i have an internal cacophony it's like a fucking assemblée générale in there #so writing it all down is very soothing to my brain and painful to my wrists #it just feels like writing is the only time my thoughts can be interpreted and even if they're going in a thousand directions they're still #easier to follow than just. thinking #and then i can surround my thoughts with doodles and receipts and shit #or a strand of my own hair #that is something that is actually in one of the journals pictured abov #anyways why am i ranting down here i've got a new journal to fill #you know what i'm tagging this #journaling #cuz i think my journals are cute and ppl should see them i'm really proud of them #even though a lot of this is stickers i still feel like it looks real cute #doodles

[kohakhearts]

not to be Hashtag serious about anything because that goes against my principles but this was the first year since i was 18 that i didn’t take antidepressants at all and the first time since i was 16 that i didn’t attend regular therapy (or at least Think i Needed to attend regular therapy) and yeah i wouldnt say i had a Good mental health year but. But. thats a big step for me actually and one i am very pleased with. go me

#taylor.txt #still on othet drugs. and did pick up a fresh prescription (+ some old ‘expired’ pills from when i was on 4 dif brain illness drugs) because #the insomnia was That bad LMAO but i actually have not taken those much bc the dose i was prescribed doesnt rly work #taking 2 is enough to knock me out but then i get the big sleepy the next day so no winning #wow typos. anyway #2 years since that whole Thing. and yknow what many days still suck major ass. but we cant say im not trying #this year my goal is to hopefully uh. relieve some literal physical stress bc like my high heart rate chest pain dislocating joints shit etc #like. seems LIKELY there is some relation. and its that im just fucking tense as hell. i think the meditation thing im supposed to do would #also be easier if my base state were not. super stupid tense for no reason. also sleep issues and tmj might be related to that lmao

[neonhairspray]

*~*~*~

#i don't know if it's because of the stress and having final exams in one week #or this and some other things that are not making things easy for me #but I just had a full on breakdown #and I'm feeling like shit now #i should probably feel relieved or happy but instead I get this #i hate my brain #personal

[youwillfindilluminating]

I understand the need to analyze media and discuss whether something made sense in a character’s arc and all that but I’m also - 

#yes this post is about #ted lasso #I'm just glad it wasn't truly horrible like I am relieved #the relief hormones have flooded my brain and I don't care #I love not caring #I have so much anxiety that whenever I don't care about something I need to embrace that #I'm just gonna read some happy OT3 fics and be that drunk-elmo-on-a-toilet meme #jamie tartt #roy kent #keeley jones

[bonetrousledbones]

finally managed to convince my mom to get me re-evaluated for adhd

#delete later #dont know When but she was apparently talking to my adhd sister and well. i am perhaps getting my hopes up #course its only now that its actually causing some fuckin Issues but. hopefully it wont be too long now #god i actually feel so relieved tho. like i dont think she fully grasped how much of a pain in the ass this is til recently #weirdest part is she HAS already believed i've had it for a while she just didnt think a diagnosis was worth it bc No Problems.........lol #rn the plan is to set me up w/ an appointment with my sister's psychiatrist and if it goes well i might even get MEDS #and i may get to unlock full function of my BRAIN !!!!!!! #head in hands this is a sad thing to get so hesitantly excited about but man. man