#kind of wanted to add (derogatory) and (affectionate)

[rrxnjun]

annoying (derogatory). ldh

pairing: lee donghyuck x fem! reader genre: college au, halloween au | crack(?), fluff wc: 3k (2.920) warnings: too much alcohol, kind of rushed and very stupid a/n: i know its technically not halloween anymore but this idea came to me this morning and i just had to write it. haven't posted anything in a while and i missed writing a lot <3 also thank you @decembermoonskz and @yaesnovels for the help with this fic!

you arrive at a halloween party only to find out your biggest nightmare came true in real life: you accidentally wear matching couple outfits with your biggest enemy. or where annoying (derogatory) turns into annoying (affectionate).

Black skinny jeans, blue jean button-up, black shoes and a tacky black coat. Your eyes meet with none other than your main enemy, a shit-eating grin slowly creeping at his face making you freeze in your spot and arch your back like an angry cat when you realise a fact that is immediately confirmed by the snicker coming from behind your ear.

“Your couple costume is so good guys, didn’t know you were dating-”

“Jeno, shut the fuck up. You know damn well this is not a couple costume,” you mutter, not liking the fact that your friend is feeding into this situation.

“Oh,” Jeno blinks, faking a surprise, “but he’s Edward. And… you’re Bella… isn’t it a couple costume, then?” he asks, pouting, acting lost in thought.

“No, it’s not-”

“Just admit that you planned this all along, Y/N,” Donghyuck grins, “you wanted to match with me, obviously.”

“I did not! I didn’t even know you’re going as Edward. If I knew, I wouldn’t have gone as Bella, for fuck’s sake,” you mourn in agony, hating the Halloween party you were invited to already, solely for the fact that you’re accidentally wearing couple costumes with the guy you hate the most on this earth. 

Lee Donghyuck has been on your death wishlist for as long as you’ve known him. His annoying (derogatory) attitude and the confidence he radiates was already a hint for you that you wouldn’t like him when you first met him at university, but it was only solidified on one sunny day when he made fun of your haircut. Yeah, it might have been a bad, terrible haircut– you can even admit that– but he really didn’t have to call you Dora the explorer every time he saw you at campus until your hair didn’t grow back. Yes, this was the exact situation that made you hate the guy more than you hate anything in this world. Some would say you’re petty. You just think you’re being reasonable.

“I talked about it in the groupchat!” Hyuck exclaims, referencing the Whatsapp group chat you’re both in because of mutual friends.

“Well, I have your number blocked so I don’t have to read your annoying messages every morning,” you snap, seeing Donghyuck only smile at your frustrated figure, making you more annoyed.

“I’ll have you know, Ryujin enjoys my good morning texts,” he smugly proclaims, shrugging.

“Yeah,” you nod, “because she lacks common sense,” you add, seeing the man in front of you snicker at your nasty remark, loving the sight of you all worked up and frustrated.

“Don’t be mean,” he says, “I thought that was my job. Or, at least, that’s what you told me when I called you Dora-”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, not this again,” you roll your eyes at him, not wanting to see the look on his face he always has when he teases you. “See? He’s being annoying again-” you turn around, wanting to find comfort in Jeno, only to realise he’s no longer watching over your little quarrel, but is standing in the corner of the room with his friends from class instead, drinking out of a small red cup.

Turning back around to see Donghyuck leaning on the kitchen counter, hands resting at the very top, you try hard to ignore the grin on his face. Catching him eyeing you from head to toe, you furrow your brows and shake your head in disapproval. “Stop staring at me, weirdo.”

“Just wanting to see if you’ve done a better job than me, that’s all.”

“Yeah, sure,” you sigh, walking over to the kitchen counter, looking for a cup that would contain something you’d enjoy drinking– because you can’t even smell vodka without wanting to physically carve your stomach out of your body (you’d call this reflex your bad flashbacks from war)– Donghyuck’s voice lands into your ear once again, possibly the effect of his figure standing so close to yours.

“Chill out already, would you? Let’s dance,” he says, pointing his chin towards the living room, resonating with roaring music and filled with various other people from your university, all dressed in costumes. A rumor has it that Johnny-- the host-- was kicking out everyone that came without one, and with how much this guy loves Halloween, you don't even try to doubt the information.

You huff, laughing at Hyuck's proposal. “I would rather die than to dance with you, Lee Donghyuck.”

Silence– well, to a certain extent, with the loud EDM music playing in the background– overtakes the two of you after your response, your eyes still searching through the sea of alcohol poured in various red cups over on the kitchen counter, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Do these people really not drink anything other than vodka and cheap beer? Sighing in disappointment, almost reaching for the beer– because everything’s better than vodka– a hand holding a single red cup comes into your rear point of vision, making you look up at your silent companion in confusion.

Taking the cup into your hand and sniffing, your eyes meet your supposed enemy, to which he expressionlessly says: “Rum and coke. I know vodka makes you puke.”

“Thanks,” you say, hesitantly taking a sip and averting your gaze from the male, taken aback by his sudden act of service.

“Will you dance with me now?”

Sighing, you shoot him a glance, seeing the shit-eating grin appearing on his face again, making your blood boil at unreachable heights. “I will kill you tonight, Hyuck.”

“We’ll see about that, spider monkey.”

“Oh, you two look amazing together-”

“We’re not a couple,” you cut off the stranger passing you by on your walk down the street, sighing to yourself.

A few drinks, screams at the top of your lungs on the dance floor and selfies in your Halloween costumes later, you two and another few friends– the most sober ones of the group– were sent on a McDonald’s run. You argued that you could just order pizza, or that you could just get Postmates, but Jisung got too drunk to remember how it works and insisted on you getting it personally, because, quote, the stranger could eat his chicken wings, and, well, Jeno can never say no to Jisung, so… here you are.

“Not gonna lie, dudes,” Mark says, laughing to himself, “the disgusted look on Y/N’s face every time she has to explain this to someone is the only thing keeping me going right now.”

“I’m glad that at least someone is having fun,” you mutter under your breath.

“Who said he was the only one? I am enjoying this,” Donghyuck snickers, walking by your side as if to annoy you even further. Every time his hand accidentally brushes against yours as you walk– because even though you’re the most sober of the group, the amount of rum and cokes you’ve drank tonight is still enough to make you walk a little to the side– makes you want to turn around on your heel and scream into an endless void full of your misery. 

Every time you see the man next to you grin with his perfect pearly whites, the hairs on your arms stand up in nerves, your stomach feels funny and the pit on the very bottom of it only deepens. You’ve never felt this much frustration, annoyance and anger towards someone. Normally, you’re a pretty chill person– it’s just that Lee Donghyuck is a menace to society and to yourself twice as much. 

Walking into the McDonald’s that’s luckily only a few streets away from Johnny’s house, you stand in line and wait for your turn to finally order the endless list of meals the group waiting back at the party managed to stick together. Looking around, seeing a long line of teenagers dressed in various costumes, you find a new sense of appreciation for humanity. Isn’t it funny how once a year, we dress as someone else for one day just because we feel like it? Humans are actually pretty cute, if you think about it.

Lost in your thoughts, you almost don’t notice Donghyuck talking to someone that’s standing behind him. His words blur in your tipsy mind, allowing yourself to relax for just a bit and calm down before you have to carry the bags with food down the street again, back to the party, when the words girlfriend and Bella startle you awake.

“Yeah, it took me so long to convince her to come as Bella, ‘cause she always refuses to watch the movies with me, but she loves me too much, so she finally agreed-”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Donghyuck?” you ask, not even having enough energy to scream at him anymore, just furrowing your brows in resignance. 

“Don’t mind her, she gets a little grumpy when she’s drunk, right, sweetie?” Hyuck grins at you as he puts an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. The smell of his showergel mixed with the cologne he uses– strawberries and coconut with just a hint of pinewood– hits your nose, making you swim in a weird sense of comfort and jumpiness. You once told him he uses too much cologne. He joked that it was so you would notice him, but ever since, the smell of his cologne has become less prominent, the sweet mix of strawberries and coconut making itself more known to your nose every time he was close to you in any way.

“We’re not even dating…” you lock eyes with the stranger dressed like Batman as you sigh, seeing the confusion in his hooded eyes when they jump from your figure to Donghyuck’s close to each other in a comfortable embrace.

Standing in the line at McDonald’s, various grinning teenagers pointing towards you two and telling you what a cute couple you are, you grow tired of explaining to them that your matching costumes are a mere coincidence. And with Lee Donghyuck sabotaging your every attempt at getting it straight and telling everyone that you actually hate your supposed other half, it becomes impossible to spread your truth, and so you just eventually stop trying.

Drinking so much the world is spinning and you feel hot in your cheeks, talking in the kitchen with Jaemin, Jeno and (ignoring) Donghyuck, you feel like this evening couldn’t get any better. You see, you may sound like an alcoholic right now, but the more rum and coke you drink, the less you mind Hyuck’s annoying teasing and the bad music choices from the resident DJ Jungwoo. You asked him to play Pitbull twice. He refused both times, and if that’s not a sign of a bad DJ, you don’t know what is.

Laughing at a joke Jaemin made, you momentarily lock eyes with Hyuck before you jump up in surprise at a loud scream coming from behind your back.

“Bella! Where the hell have you been, loca?!” 

Turning around, you see a tall man with a wig on, wearing the most ratchet outfit cut out of a 2009 movie– there was no doubt, this was none other than Xiao Dejun dressed as Jacob from Twilight. Laughing at the whole situation– because there’s nothing else you’re able to do now, after realising that the three of you accidentally wore the costumes of a love triangle without knowing the other’s intentions, you watch as the man replicates the scene from the movie and runs towards you to pick you up into a spinning hug.

“This is getting ridiculous,” you giggle when he puts you on the ground.

“Why? You didn’t plan this?” he asks, seemingly not knowing about the rivalry between you and Hyuck as his eyes dance from him to you, seeing you shake your head in disapproval.

“Don’t listen to him if he tries to tell you otherwise, but no, we did not plan this,” you laugh, seeing Dejun join you in the little moment of you slowly going crazy. 

“Well, that’s just great, because that means I can drag you to the dancefloor without Edward here getting mad at me!” Dejun yelps as he physically drags you to the living room by your right hand, body swaying to the beat of the never-stopping EDM music playing through the speakers. You don’t really remember you and Dejun being this close, you only had a few classes with him last semester, but it seems that the alcohol level in your blood is no longer letting you have any barriers tonight. Eyes shortly switching to the kitchen– completely subconsciously, really– you notice Donghyuck staring at the two of you with a cold look, jaw clenched. It only adds to the costume of Edward, you’d say, since you don’t remember the man having any other expressions in the movie, but the sight of Hyuck looking like that makes you a little taken aback, since you’ve never seen him with this face before.

“Are you sure you two didn’t come together? ‘Cause Edward Cullen over there looks a little jealous, if I may say so myself,” Dejun screams into your ear, making you roll your eyes at the comment.

“Don’t mind him,” you shake your head, “we hate each other.”

Dejun’s eyes widen at your last sentence, surprise overtaking his features. “Really?” 

“Yeah,” you snicker, “he called me Dora the explorer for two months after I got a really bad haircut, I can’t stand that guy,” you laugh, seeing Dejun only snicker as he takes your right hand and rises it towards the ceiling, urging you to twirl for him like a ballerina. 

“Well, that’s understandable,” he laughs, “even I’d hate him for that, if I was in your place.”

When the song ends and Dejun finds another familiar face in the corner of the living room, you find yourself sitting on the abandoned sofa in the middle of the room, finally letting yourself take deep breaths and try to force your head to stop spinning. Fanning your face before you take off your statement Bella zip-up hoodie, you let your eyes rest for a moment as you notice the sharp pain in your left temple– the first sign that you’ve had enough alcohol for tonight. Telling yourself you’re only gonna stay until you don’t feel a bit better, you try to force your brain to not shut off, before a painful slap to your thigh startles you awake as the sofa dips next to you with the weight of another figure. 

“You okay?” you hear the all too familiar voice of none other than tonight’s Edward Cullen. After so many hours of being around him, you don’t even hate it as much anymore– in the loud screaming of the evening, you’d even consider it a safe haven.

Humming in agreement as you nod, you notice his hand on your thigh lightly massaging the spot he slapped before, the touch of his hand burns your clothed skin, sending shivers down your spine. “You want some water?” he asks, but as you shake your head to say no, there’s not a single thought in your head as you focus on the motion of his fingers on your leg, thinking of how you’ve never seen him so caring before, making you believe that maybe if he wasn’t so annoying towards you, you wouldn’t hate him as much. 

“Do you want to go home?” he asks again, making you want to curse at him for breaking the silence (well, not really, since the havoc is still happening and the music is still playing), but instead, you only hum and cover his hand on your thigh with your palm, not even thinking about your actions. The danger of drinking is that you never know when the drink you have is the last one that takes you over the edge of having fun to being absolutely fucking miserable, and you think that the one you had right before Dejun dragged you to the dance floor was exactly the one doing just that.

“In a bit. Want my head to stop spinning so much first,” you say, letting your head drop onto his shoulder, enjoying the calmness of the situation after the stress and loudness of the whole night.

The smell of strawberries and coconut overtakes the smell of alcohol lingering in the room, calming your senses and making you wonder why you never gave Hyuck a chance before. It’s not like he was wrong about the haircut, after all… 

“I’m team Edward, just by the way,” Donghyuck mumbles into your ear, making you snicker. To think you were considering that he wasn’t so bad just a few seconds ago…

“You know, Hyuck, I’m starting to think you’re an actual vampire, with how you’re sucking out my energy the whole evening,” you mutter, hearing the boy laugh at your comment before his tone turns suggestive as he leans even closer to your ear.

“Maybe I can suck your neck instead, like an actual vampire, you know-”

Feeling hot in your cheeks from the comment that just escaped from between his lips, hating the way it made you feel all funny in your stomach, you sigh and move away from him, standing up from the sofa in urgency. “I’m actually going to kill you, you know-”

“Oh, come on,” he giggles, taking you by your hand and dragging you back down to the sofa, “sit for a bit and then I’ll walk you home, okay? I was only joking…” he says, seeing you roll your eyes, but your body slides deeper into the sofa cushions, getting comfortable. “Unless…?” 

Yeah, never mind. Lee Donghyuck is still the most annoying (affectionate) human being you’ve ever met in your whole, entire life.

#nct #haechan #donghyuck #nct 127 #nct dream #haechan fluff #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff #donghyuck fluff #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #haechan imagine #haechan scenario #haechan drabble #donghyuck fic #donghyuck drabble #donghyuck imagine

[cushfuddled]

I wish I didn't hate Ed and Stede but here we are I guess

I didn't have time to put a section about this in my review (since it would add another ten minutes onto a fifty minute video hhhhh) but I just gotta take a second and vent about how much I dislike Stede and Ed in season two.

When I watched season two for the first time, I assumed I didn't ship Gentlebeard anymore because I'd...I dunno...gotten bored of the ship or whatever. But when I went back to rewatch season one, I was immediately sucked back into the Ed/Stede jet engine. I loved them through the finale, up until around the middle of season two...at which point I became totally disinterested again.

Even going back through season one clips for this review...the chemistry is soooo strong for me. The only time I got that feeling from season two was like, from the mermaid scene and the finger-stacking scene.

And I honestly think my disinterest stems from the fact that I can't stand Ed and Stede as characters anymore. They're dicks in season one, but ANNOYING dicks in season two, and I guess I just...don't ship characters who make me want to tear my hair out.

In season two, Ed behaves like a petulant five year old with a gun. It's so "say sorry to your friend right now!" "I don't wanna! :(" followed by a stint in the time out chair and a mumbled non-apology. For all of season two, Ed behaves like a spoiled brat, and I really can't stand it.

My friend pointed out that Ed is in a position where he needs to reparent himself. His emotional development likely stopped around the time he killed his dad (when he was still a kid). No one modeled healthy behavior and emotional regulation for Ed past the age of...maybe fifteen? So of course he's gonna behave like a kid. It's gonna be a long road for Ed to learn these regulating strategies as an adult, and I guess...hhhhhh.

None of Ed's trauma excuses Ed from torturing and traumatizing his crew. It feels shitty to find a deeply traumatized character's behavior "annoying," but...I mean. I say this as someone who's experienced suicide ideation myself: Ed isn't real, and I'm not Ed's friend, and so I don't really feel obligated to extend patience and understanding to a fictional construct when that construct spends 90% of his screen time behaving like a stuck up, self-obsessed, capricious, whiny, murderous asshole.

Add season-two-Stede to the mix and CHRIST...Stede—like Ed—was always a dick, but the way he encouraged Lucius to divulge his trauma only to react with cartoonish disgust, cower like a cornered animal, and then flee while begging Lucius to be quiet...

Then Stede decides to veto the crew's decision to ban Ed—their abuser—from the ship ("talk it through as a crew" my ass)...? Oh, and gotta love how Stede-"I've been the cause of death. It changes you"-Bonnet sets a guy on fucking fire and laughs, then kills a bunch of English soldiers with nary a backward glance. Okay. Would've loved some kind of exploration re: that major heel turn, but fine. And then Ed and Stede stand over Izzy's grave—the (mutilated) body of their dear friend and crewmate—and their combined eulogy amounts to "He was tense. Very tense." "Yeah, he was a fucking nightmare. What a guy." How endearing. Season two turned these two bastards (affectionate) into bastards (derogatory) for me and I'm still salty about it. God DAMMIT.

#our flag means death salt #ofmd salt

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

I guess vaguely once a month is just how these things work now, I do try to read everyone's tags and replies and stuff but a lot of them I just don't really have anything to reply with sorry! as always I appreciate the supportive words and well wishes and stuff <3

I also love the trifurcation of responses to [go to bed]: one group of people is like "yeah u right I sleep now thanks", one is like "sorry but I can't", and one is just like "no! I refuse!!!" lol

I did get two different "posts that have 10k to me" tags though, on [one] that actually passed 10k and [another] that is still barely triple digits and will probably stay there XD

anyway [chess kirb] was on the radar which is neat

also my birthday is this weekend :)

oh yeah and reminder that I also have a craft blog @sleepy-princess-craftery

on [the last roundup] @sacrasm said: oh the clonk'd is just my queued post tag! thr other one is self explanatory he is little he is pink and i affectionately call things freak sometimes (in combination with other words)

ohhhh that makes sense lol it was the clonk'd that I was baffled by thank you for explaining -u-

on [drowsy] @ceylonsilvergirl said: being laid up sick or injured is terrible, but I think we also need to acknowledge that it’s also boring as hell. can’t do anything fun. boring boring boring

it is!!! it's so boring!!! especially since I'm already baseline sick all the time so I have less options to start with, so to do even less than that is literally nothing!

anonymous asked: Gwah being sick sucks. I wish immune system upon you!

thank you! (I think I actually need less immune system? on account of the immune disorder. but either way I do not have an active infection anymore 👍)

on [tumble] @chefwhatnot said: get chucked idiot

where's that post like "'get (blank)ed idiot' is the funniest joke" cuz they're right

on [mask] @macro-microcosm said: glad you're feeling better! i agree that we should all still be masking up, it bothers me soooo much to see that so many people have stopped

like honestly, scientifically speaking it is way more effective and more accessible than just leaning on vaccines, and it protects people from all kinds of stuff not just covid! but nobody wants to wear masks and even people who think they're being cautious just want to lean on vaccine requirements, which is doubly inaccessible for me personally and probably millions of other people :( stresses me out too.

anonymous asked: Magicking you up some new containers

thanks! they didn't have what I wanted at target but we got some usable stuff from daiso, so at least it's not all still shoved in a ziploc bag.

@thewizardgnome asked: But what if I say bye

I mean yeah you can do that too if you want I guess lol

on [paper] @breathelifeintothatsoul said: Cool! I've always wanted to try and make my own (recycled) paper one time

it's fun! there's a lot of extra steps you can add in if you want to, but the absolute basics of it is just dump a bunch of paper strips into a bin, fill it with water, wait until it breaks up enough for your liking, then dunk some kind of stiff screen into it (horizontally) so you can pull out even layers of pulp to dry somewhere.

on [paper] @hermitfox said: oooo making your own paper is do much fun, I have fond memories from kindergarten doing that. ... actually what stops me from doing that as an adult. I should make paper again

do recommend, making things is fun and also good for you :) also the paper pulp is very Texture (affectionate) (to me) (I'm sure to others it can be very Texture (derogatory) but I like it)

on [yarn] @ceylonsilvergirl said: I am very envy of people who can follow a pattern, I can’t do that. I can do a friend being like “Oh this next one is two one two one’’, i can’t translate abbreviations into an idea in my mind. give me a diagram instead

I'm the opposite tbh, I find the abbreviations really easy to follow but looking at a diagram for knitting and crochet just turns into like, visual noise if it's more complex than like, a single fan stitch or whatever.

@my-life-is-a-bad-sitcom asked: You’re Kirby’s are so cool and I love your art style. Honestly awesome. Giving you a standing ovation. 👍

thank you! I love to draw a little guy

anonymous asked: I saw you on tumblr radar just now!! congrats!! -@secondbeatsongs

woah thanks sbs!

@darkchaogarden-blog asked: Tumblr's doing that dumb thing it's been doing lately where I can't reblog anything, so I'll just write to you personally that your art is excellent! Have a good day!

that sounds like such an irritating bug but thank you! I hope you had a good day too whenever this was :)

on [chess] @shiinteractsif said: dudes at the search thingy image. congrats

oh cool I wondered where the radar posts showed up on mobile!

on [chair] @mads-is-tired said: i’ve never played a kirby game but i desperately want to BECAUSE LOOK AT HIM

honestly so valid, he's basically a character brand to me (like hello kitty or rilakkuma). I'm probably biased, but I feel like the best games to start with are either forgotten land (the one that came out on switch last year) or crystal shards (originally for the n64, also available through the nintendo online vc). I think they're the most visually appealing (aside from epic yarn which is not a mainline game) and while they reward exploration they're not as complex as some of the handheld titles to fully explore, nor are they as hand-holdy as some of the other console titles. a good middle ground of feeling like you did the thing, without being frustrating.

on [soup] @give-soup-please said: ME #soupblogging #fucking same

how delightful that this post managed to find you :) these tags make me happy whenever I think of them

on [soup] @lord-chiopet said: me too bud. you too op hope the weather approved

good news, the weather has improved :) now it is overcast and drizzly, my favorite!

on [chess] @wealmostaneckbeard said: Neither of them know how to play so they made up some rules...

what a cute idea! I hope they are having fun with their new game.

on [baseball] @hutbug said: the teal color is called northwest green and we still wear it all the time!! its beautiful u did an amazing job

thank you for the info! before this season I hadn't really had access to baseball for the past like 8 years or something and a lot has changed lol so I didn't really trust my memory

on [blue] @ceylonsilvergirl [added] "I CAN TRY AGAIN TOMORROW! Or next week! or next month..."

that really is the vibe lately huh.

anonymous asked: Your kirbys bring me daily serotonin

aww good!

#reply roundup #asks answered #text #title text #long post #readmore #coronavirus #swearing #sacrasm #ceylonsilvergirl #anonymous #chefwhatnot #macro-microcosm #thewizardgnome #breathelifeintothatsoul #hermitfox #my-life-is-a-bad-sitcom #secondbeatsongs #darkchaogarden-blog #shiinteractsif #mads-is-tired #give-soup-please #lord-chiopet #wealmostaneckbeard #hutbug

[frecklystars]

American Psycho musical anon! So in the scene where Jean is in Patrick’s apartment — he gets ready for the kill (and is in his underwear covered in blood don’t worry about it it’s a metaphor at this point), but stops when she confesses she loves him. And Patrick just stops and stares and there’s a long, long pause…and he just says all softly “…why?” Before telling her to leave before she gets hurt.

But that’s not the line — it’s when he’s monologing a confession to the detective right after. He goes through his (supposed) kills and says “I almost…I almost killed someone *good*” in reference to her, with his voice breaking on that last word. When I was reading your post about adding Patrick to your f/o list I IMMEDIATELY thought of that.

!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Bro I’m so grateful you are telling me this 😭😭 I’ve been having such a. weird. time with this F/O. but I need him and I need to get back into the habit of believing that there is safety within fiction and self shipping, always, regardless of who it’s with, whether it’s the sweetest happy-go-lucky character, or the most horrific, vile, awful villain character to grace the screen. I think Patrick is the worst (derogatory AND affectionate) character I’ve ever felt an attachment to, and like… 99% of me trying to self ship with him is me saying “ok but he wouldn’t hurt me and he wouldn’t hurt others anymore after meeting me bc he wants to get better” and I’ve had a lot of good days about it! I’ve had a lot of good days where I realize I’ve done a good chunk of healing from my irl abuse bc of him making me feel so protected. The bad days with him are so rare bc I've managed to work around my story with him a LOT (A LOT. A LOT OF HEAVY EDITING) and messages from kind folks like you always help me feel so much better too!!! 😭💖💖

I think it’s extremely kind of you to think of me and to take the time to tell me about this version of Patrick having a bit more of a… a conscience, can we call it that? Man that hits just as hard as movie!Patrick looking genuinely so upset/distressed and saying quietly “I don’t think I can control myself” and telling Jean repeatedly that she should leave even though she keeps asking “do you want me to leave?” he has all these chances to change his mind, yet he just. won’t. allow himself. to hurt somebody who’s so innocent.

It makes you think about how he’s surrounded by the same type of people 24/7. The same uptight misogynistic yuppies in the same Armani pinstripe suits and ties obsessed with financial success doing work where they don't lift a finger, the same blonde models married/engaged to said yuppies for their money, or the same models they pay for and treat like objects. How Pat views everyone as an object to be discarded or something to take his frustration out on, how he is seeing Jean that way until they have a genuine conversation that barely lasts even just a few minutes, and that monstrous part of him mellows for a moment, and he realizes softly within himself “oh. fuck.” like he’s still the worst Ever but like… it’s nice (from a self shipping perspective) to know that there is a small shred of empathy left in that hollow husk of a (fictional) monster and he’s able to tame that said monster even for just a second for the sake of someone else. There's 0.0001% of goodness, or at least something somewhat neutral left inside of him, something to work with and I can build off of that.

And!!! Canonically, didn’t the author write a whole bunch of emails to promote the movie about Pat going to therapy and being married to Jean with a son, like 10 years after the events of the film?? Something like that?? Granted, I think they get divorced, but, like… he has the potential to be loving and gentle and the fact that he canonically goes to therapy (plus the ambiguity of his crimes in the first place, how seemingly none of them possibly happened in the first place) all of it adds up and makes me think “ok no, I can pull this off!!! I CAN absolutely do this!!!! I like him and I’m allowed to think he would like me and get better for me too!!! If he can do it for Jean, he can do it for me!!"

Slowly but surely getting back on that self shipping saddle. Kind messages help immensely. Thank you again so much 😭🙏

#anonymous #asks #keepsake #💕♬♪ Losing you is not an option ☆🔪❤️💥 #anon you are a fucking GODSEND btw thank you so much. ilu

[fostersffff]

The Big Gundam Watch, Part 14: Mobile Suit Victory Gundam

What a mistake it would have been for me to skip this series.

I observed in my last post that opinions on Victory Gundam seem more volatile than ZZ, and now I understand why. Like F91 before it, Victory Gundam is an attempt at soft rebooting the Universal Century, but obviously unlike F91, it had the chance to be a full, ~50 episode TV series. I can say with confidence now that this is the format in which Yoshiyuki Tomino is at his most powerful.

For better and for worse, Victory Gundam takes the essence of nearly everything that came before and refines it into a more pure, undiluted version of itself. I'm of the opinion that this works brilliantly for the most part, although when it does fall flat, it really hits with an echoing thud. Even so, Victory Gundam has usurped ZZ when it comes to my opinion on "the true successor" to 0079. A lot of that is down to executing on a most of ZZ's plot beats and character archetypes better, but it also adds some new elements that improve upon it as well. With that said, I can think of no better element to start with than with the belle of the ball herself, Katejina Loos.

CATEGORY 5 WHITE WOMAN

I have been thoroughly enchanted by the story of Katejina Loos. I knew, via osmosis, that she was a Bad Woman who does Bad Things, but I wasn't exactly sure what that really meant. That descriptor applies to characters like Haman Karn- who I love- Reccoa Londe- who I hate (affectionate)- and Michele Luio- who I hate (derogatory). She has a little bit in common with all three, because she's all the most stereotypical "evil woman" traits wrapped into a single character, but what makes that so engaging is watching how those traits get worse and worse and fucking worse over time, in a way that is kind of disturbingly mundane.

Katejina starts out as what I can most succinctly describe as a Privileged White Liberal; she's from money, but because she hates most of the wealthy people around her- including her own dad- she considers herself wholly different from them. Because of how they shuffled the first few episodes, her introduction is literally "I'm glad all those rich assholes died", glazing over both the grotesque cruelty of the situation because she thought they were bad people who deserved to die anyway and also that she is, in fact, one of those rich assholes.

At first she goes along with the League Militaire, mainly because there's nowhere else to go anyway, but she often bristles against most of the other members. This is because they pretty willing to point out that she's a rich asshole, but also more importantly because she disagrees with them using Uso as a pilot for the Victory. It's entirely possible this may have been amicably resolved- especially considering her initial attitude towards the Zanscare Empire is "they're obviously bad guys"- if not for her abduction by Cronicle Asher (who, by the way, may have The Most Tomino Name).

At this point I need to take a detour to talk about him, and how one of the other smartest things Tomino did was make Victory's Char completely unlike Char. While he is scheming against the Zanscare Empire's military dictatorship, he's a genuine believer in Mariaism- a matriarchal doctrine advocating for peace in space- and wants to elevate his sister (the titular Maria from Mariaism and Queen of the Zanscare Empire) from merely being a figurehead to the actual ruler of the empire. However, instead of subterfuge and betrayals, he's trying to change the system from within, doing his duty as a soldier with the utmost diligence so he can rise through the ranks, which will allow him to achieve his goals while not inadvertently destabilizing the empire (and thus Maria's access to power). He's maybe the most Straight-Edge Good Boy I've seen in a Gundam series, but unfortunately, all of that Good Boy Energy is being used in service of the genocidal military dictatorship. He regularly expresses distaste for the methods Zanscare's military regularly employs, but he carries out those cruel tasks anyway, because ultimately, the end will justify the means.

With all that in mind, Cronicle being the one to abduct Katejina is legitimately the point of no return for her. That genuine Straight-Edge Good Boyness of his endears her to him immediately, which leads her to reconsider what she thought of the Zanscare Empire; after all, Cronicle treats her with such a great deal of kindness and respect, so surely they can't all be bad. That one commanding officer even shot the subordinate who tried to feel her up, even! Combine that with the fact that the members of the League Militaire were mean to her, and that they have to use an innocent little baby boy like Uso to fight for them... maybe she was wrong about who the bad guys were.

I'll speed it along here, but what is essentially a corruption arc is on full display from this point forward. Slowly, she starts to integrate herself more and more within the Zanscare Empire's military, halfheartedly trying to justify what she's doing as "spying" to Uso and company until she doesn't even care to bother with that anymore, more and more convinced that Cronicle is just, and his plan to elevate Maria as the true ruler is for the greater good. The last act of kindness she musters for Uso is letting him know Shahkti and the others are safe, but the next time we see her after that is in a Zanscare dress uniform, and then later in the same episode, in a Zanscare mobile suit.

And once that threshold has been crossed, she continues to sink lower, going from "maybe we can just... capture Uso, and bring him over to our side" to "he's gotta go". And then she starts employing increasingly depraved methods of "he's gotta go", sliding from simply killing him in combat, to ordering the all-female imperial guard to fight him on foot and naked (or as naked as early 90's Japanese TV would allow) to try to fuck with his head, to finally faking a surrender after she's already lost everything so she can stab him, because fuck him.

If the League Militaire (and Uso as its spearhead) had just fucked off and let Zanscare achieve their goals, Cronicle would have eventually usurped the military dictatorship, given Maria the freedom to enact her will, and everything would have been perfect. It would've been like a fairy tale: she's swept off her feet by a handsome prince who enlists her aid to rescue to queen, and in saving her, they save the whole kingdom, and then they live happily ever after. The only minor caveat was the mountains of innocent corpses it was all built upon.

Uso- the innocent little baby boy no more- took all that away from her- the prince was dead, the queen was dead, and the kingdom had fallen apart- and rather than actually admit defeat or commit suicide, she instead continues to try to kill him, until her brain basically poisons itself as a self-preservation tactic- it's not the V2's Wings of Light that blind her, it's literally her own rage.

And, shockingly, that's where she ends up. Still alive, but unable to see the world around her anymore and with no memory of anything but where she lived. Karlmann's name evokes a memory she can't access anymore, which makes her cry for reasons she can't understand. Shahkti gives her a replacement compass so she can make her way back to Uwig and continue to live, and presumably just live... assuming Uwig has even been rebuilt, considering this series seems to take place within the span of a year (if Marbet's pregnancy is anything to go by). It's honestly a much crueler fate than I was expecting, but it's hard to argue it's not one she earned.

All of this is to say: it's possible I may change my opinion once recency bias wears off, but I think Katejina Loos is maybe my favorite single character in a Gundam show to date. A perfectly executed villainess, top to bottom.

And, you know, nice thick eyebrows, which is terrific.

Now that I've finished gushing, let's get to the normal segments:

THE STUFF I LIKED

This series is just ripe with Tomino names. Cronicle Asher, Maria Pure Armonia, Karlmann Dukatus, Junko Jenka, Duker Iq... and I would be remiss not to mention that while not explicitly said in the series, Marbet's last name is Fingerhat.

I adore the technology level of UC 0153. We've advanced forward from F91 and now goddamn near everything is beam-based; even things that aren't mobile suits use beams because the technology is so normalized. I'm also of the opinion that it's enhanced further by Tomino's obvious appreciation of the aesthetic of Pastoral European Landscapes and 20th Century European Cities; the visual clash of super futuristic robots and old-timey environments worked in F91, it worked better here, and I imagine it'll continue to be just as strong- if not stronger- in Turn A and Reconguista in G

I know on a meta level that Victory Gundam was pushed even harder than previous Gundams in the direction of MAKE TOY, which sounds like a nightmare creatively, but fuck if they didn't make it work. The in-universe justification for most of the wheel-based weapons is goofy, but damned if they don't make the Einerad (The Tire) one of the most devastatingly effective support units in the franchise. And, to be honest, if I had access to a toy as a kid that was just a cool robot inside of a wheel, it would've been, like, my favorite toy.

Plus, despite my noted dislike of the Zakrello from 0079 for being a Goofy Snake Ship, having most of the Zanscare's mobile suits have the dogu statue eyes that open into vertical slits is a great unifying aspect that is also super different from Zeon's monoeyes.

One of the coolest things about this series is how it flips the formula from 0079, Zeta, and ZZ with regards to setting. It starts on Earth, which frames space and the colonies as different and scary. Like, it was fascinating in 0079 to see the White Base crew react the way they did to a thunderstorm and other Earth phenomena we obviously take for granted, but here's it's like: hey man, space is fucking scary! I was genuinely anxious watching Shahkti and Suzy trying to get Karl and Flanders into normal suits.

This also extends to the finale taking place on Earth, which is a genuine first for the franchise. You'd think this would make things slightly less deadly overall, but man Cronicle goes out in a bad fuckin' way.

Following up on that: I love Angel Halo as the ultimate threat (with one caveat I'll mention that in the next section). "Total Human Regression as performed by Warhammer 40k's Golden Throne" is much more horrifying than what I was expecting (which was A Super Duper Space Laser), especially considering they showed what happens if everyone in an arbitrary area suddenly falls asleep, and that every time someone blew up a section of Angel Halo, civilian bodies would just FLOOD out.

I also really liked how the memories Angel Ring was evoking when Maria was trying to pacify Uso were just ever so slightly wrong, in terms of what the characters are saying. That's a very tiny detail to address in such a long series, where most people wouldn't even remember what was actually said as it was airing, but it's appreciated.

At this point I consider Tomino to be pretty masterful at a lot of things, but I think one of his strongest abilities is writing mascot characters who are good. Victory Gundam has a baby, a dog, and the most talkative Haro yet, and all three of them are great. Karl and Flanders are just a normal baby and dog who primarily either enhance hijinks or raise stakes, and Haro earns the extra lines it has by constantly being in MVP in bad situations.

THE STUFF I LIKED LESS:

It was dumb that they arbitrarily had Episode 4 as the first episode so they could show the completed Victory Gundam right away, and then spend the next three episodes framed with Shahkti going "well Karl, as you know...". I know this ties back to toys, but surely it could've just been written differently in the first place.

While I did like Zanscare's refusal to acknowledge the Victory, Hexa, and V2 as Gundams, I'm so mad they were mainly referred to as "the white ones" instead of "white devils". "The White Devil" is my favorite name for the RX-78-2 and I hate that it doesn't get used more referencing Gundams, especially in contexts like this.

So obviously from a series composition point of view it was never going to be the case, but I was bummed out that in-universe, Marbet was intended to be the League Militaire's ace and got sidelined due to her injury. This isn't such a big deal, because she contributes regularly and actually lives through to the end in what I would consider to be the best possible circumstances (Oliver is dead and instead she has Uso, Shahkti, Karl, and Flanders as a family), but it's was just like "aw no you're so much cooler than this dumb kid with a bowl cut!"

I straight-up don't like Oliver. He just shows up randomly but everyone knows who he is, he's revealed to be the commander of the Shrike Team (who actually are foreshadowed in an earlier episode!) but arrives without them for some reason, he has a strained romantic history with Marbet, and he gets a completely unearned Bright Slap shortly after showing up, which is already something I hate outside of its original context in 0079. Then despite denying it, it really seems like he shacks up with Marbet because Junko died and she wins by default, and then after nutting inside he just killed himself in spectacular fashion, achieving nothing. Fuckin'... bad vibes, all around.

Lupe Cineau, huh? My complaint here isn't that she's a weird pedophile, bur rather that she really shouldn't have been? Her introduction is that she's a Stone Cold Bitch, murdering the guys in the bar she just got information from when she first shows up. And her tactic to try to seduce Uso into joining up with Zanscare seemed less like "oh my, a cute little boy, I know exactly what to do..." and more of a dismissive "he's like 12, all I need to do is show hole and he'll be in our pockets forever". Like, 'she fails at seducing a 12 year old because she's too much of a Stone Cold Bitch' is the point of that entire scene! Statistically, not every antagonist could be a quality one, but it felt like they just scrambled to figure out how to reintroduce and get rid of her, and the bath scene was the most memorable thing about her, so: pedophile.

There sure is a lot of biology in this series! Most of it has to do with Karlmann, naturally, but I was taken aback at the scene of Shahkti washing the diapers in the river and you see his poop get washed away. Odelo pissing himself and it filling up the bottom of his normal suit was gross but like... kind of informative on how that works? But then the scene where Cronicle redirects Suzy to the bathroom when she sleepwalks to pee in the hallways was just... eugh.

I don't know why they felt compelled to allude to the threat of Angel Halo's psycommu physically degenerating people as well. "Everyone on Earth will mentally become an infant, and if they don't die in the initial collapse of infrastructure that causes, they'll eventually starve to death because they lack the capacity for self-preservation" is scary enough!

I can't really begrudge Tomino for reusing it, because it's a powerful scene, and Karl was much more important to this story, but the fact that Karl has the same origin story as the F91 baby was just like "you can't just do that again, man". It's not even as good a moment because the pilot intentionally shoots down Karl's mother, versus F91 baby's mom just accidentally getting brained by a spent shell. They're even wearing similar outfits!

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

I've read that this is, or was at the time, Hideaki Anno's favorite Gundam series, and lines up with when he would've been making Evangelion- and I definitely think he cribbed some things. As soon as I saw the episode title "Beneath the Ultra-High Altitude Attack" my eyes narrowed, and I can't be convinced that Arael wasn't inspired by the Zanneck and Fuala's mental instability. Also: Angel Ring and Human Instrumentality and the associated Christian imagery.

Speaking of Fuala Griffon, she is Victory Gundam's winner of the "fucking insane fit" award, wearing an oversized suit and porkpie hat while riding a dirtbike with the biggest case of resting bitchface I've seen since Monsly in Future Boy Conan.

I kind of regret learning about trigger discipline (keeping your trigger finger extended along the side of the barrel of a gun until you're actually going to fire) because now it's one of those things I look for everywhere, but in this case I do think it's the second most telling detail about Cronicle's character. The other being the fact that Flanders is cool with him.

Speaking of Cronicle and guns, for however out of character it may have been I was hootin' and hollerin' when Shahkti stole his gun and shot him.

Final note on Cronicle: My favorite thing about his mask that I only realized in writing this post is that it's the inverse of Char's, covering everything but his eyes and hair.

I really like the Eyecatch Flipbook they must have made to include as an extra for the laserdisc release of the series, but it does kinda... disrupt some things. Most notably in the last episode where you get the very violently abrupt shot Cronicle slamming into a piece of Angel Halo before cutting to HARO WORLDWIDE with the cute little jingle.

I legitimately thought Maria's demonstration where she healed the sick was staged. Like, it would be revealed that Maria was a low-level Newtype with some genuine power, but all the people who claimed to have been healed during that demonstration were crisis actors designed to make the public fall in line. In hindsight, I don't even know if "crisis actors" was a concept anyone had ever thought of before the turn of the century.

I alluded to it in another post, but due to the scant few memes that have circulated about this series, I was shocked to learn the Shrike Team were protagonist-aligned. I thought that they were the ones who did the Bikini Bazooka Attack, because a second faction made up entirely of beautiful women just seemed unlikely, and I kept trying to figure out at one point they were going to turn on Uso, especially considering most of them are dead before the halfway point.

I'm really proud of the image I used for the header, and was initially planning on doing a full video of the clip, but video editing is hard. Then I was going to photoshop in more characters' faces but I didn't want to hunt for images of the right angle for that many characters. But that was a really good Shahkti face, so I left it in.

IN CONCLUSION

Victory Gundam is without a doubt my favorite of the Tomino-directed TV shows thus far, and in the upper eschelon of favorite Gundam shows. For however much he hated doing the series and may still hate it in hindsight, it's not like he just phoned it in. It's got a good cast, good conflict, good mobile suit designs, and despite a massive kill count and some really fucked up parts, it doesn't strike me as being particularly edgy or even mean-spirited. It's absolutely not going to hit the same for everyone, but I think if Tomino's other Gundams clicked with you, it's more than worth a shot.

Next up: considering I've already watched the next two entries in chronological order, I'll be moving ahead to the third Gundam OVA series, The 08th MS Team, notable for being the first new entry in the Universal Century timeline following G Gundam and Gundam Wing and for often being recommended in the same breath as War in the Pocket. Considering how that turned out, I'm optimistic that this will also be good, and if nothing else, it's sure to have that 90's Anime OVA budget going for it, much like Stardust Memory.

#Gundam #Mobile Suit Gundam #Victory Gundam #Mobile Suit Victory Gundam #Yoshiyuki Tomino #The Big Gundam Watch #anime #blu-ray #long post

[tiffanylamps]

Beyond Evil: the Romantic Rain trope

Hello! Guess who's back on their shit again... Me!

When I first finished watching Beyond Evil/ 괴물 on 5/02/22 (yes, I know, it surprised me too during the last episode), I immediately started writing an essay about the show's queer subtext/queer coding. The essay is an analysis of episodes 1-8... and it's ridiculously long and unfinished (and probably never will be finished). This post includes the opening parts. I like them, so I have decided to share them. These opening thoughts surround the rain scene in episode two and how it is romantic in tone.

[I do have another bit analysing Dong Sik's queer coding, which I might post one day.] So, yeah, this is a part of a larger piece. So, that's why it feels a bit incomplete.

A disclaimer: ~ I use the word ‘queer’, a lot. But this is not meant as a derogatory/offensive term. But instead, is used by its reclaimed meaning: a generalised term to refer to someone who isn’t heterosexual.Also, all spellings of characters’ names are taken from AsianWiki.

(my very gloomy-looking screenshots)

Enjoy!

“Why are you doing this to me? Why?” Han Joo Won talking to Lee Dong Sik (episode 5).

Have you ever asked someone a question that they refuse to answer? Instead of giving you the information you want, they dance around it, jump to conclusions, and add the right amount of distraction; until you can’t even remember what you asked in the first place. This is a recurrence of Beyond Evil’s main characters Lee Dong Sik and Han Joo Won. Their conversations and arguments often spark one of them to ask a question that the other does not answer. 

This happens numerous times throughout the first half of the series. Typically, these questions are of the following nature:

“Just what about me interests you so much?” Lee Dong Sik, episode 2

“It’s a dangerous thing to become attached to someone. Don’t you think?”  Lee Dong Sik, episode 4

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” Lee Dong Sik, episode 5

(English translations taken from Netflix)

Oftentimes these questions are more for the audience to ponder on, rather than for the characters to outright answer. This is why they aren’t answered with verbal confirmation but instead, with the character’s actions. 

In the thriller, crime, and mystery genres, it is usual to have a protagonist investigate and chase our anti-hero/sympathetic villain. Beyond Evil (otherwise known as Monster/ 괴물) uses this narrative trope as the basis of its storytelling: one hotshot young guy comes from the big city to investigate an older seemingly unhinged man of a crime he may or may not have committed. But over time, as the protagonist learns more, we get to see the shades of ambiguity that are bursting at the seams.  Furthermore, both characters will be forever changed because of their relationship and the events that follow.

One element that makes Beyond Evil stand out from others within the same genre is that this story isn’t really about a small hometown murder. It uses the murders within this rural area as a canvas in which to tell the real story: love. One way this is proven is that the story focuses on the victims and their friends and families, and the overall community, instead of the killer(s). 

Beyond Evil explores and showcases the Ancient Greeks’ philosophy of the seven kinds of love:

Eros: romantic love; passionate, lustful, the want for sexual intimacy  Philia: friendship; affectionate, platonic, sweet and equal Storge: familial; strong bonds, kin-ship, unconditional Agape: altruism; empathy, selflessness, love for worldly experiences Ludus: new love; non-committal, flirtatious, playful Pragma: committed love; long-term relationships, companionship, maturity Philautia: self-love; self-esteem, self-worth, a necessity

(information source: https://www.wellandgood.com/greek-words-for-love/)

It is a story highlighting the importance of love: all the different kinds of love we encounter in our lives; how we are affected by them; what it looks like to live without love; including, when it's time to accept love and when it's time to let it go. But most importantly, sometimes, you can find love in the most unexpected place. 

[But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s sprinkle some background information and analyse the first half (the first act, if you will) of Beyond Evil (episodes 1-8) and look at how Joo Won ended up broken-hearted in Dong Sik’s front garden.] Redacted for this post.

ii

On the first watch-through of this show, the audience is told the story predominantly through Joo Won’s gaze; which is biassed and trifled with unreliable narration. Through his perspective, we are toyed with and encouraged to constantly doubt the other characters. The show expertly uses Alfred Hitchcock’s film theory Pure Cinematics for instilling doubt, harnessing the power of the editing process to define the visual narrative. In other words, the show creators displayed a key understanding of how the narrative changes with context. 

The best example of this is the butcher shop sequence on the night of Kang Min Jeong's disappearance. We are first introduced to the sequence from Joo Won’s perspective: all of Dong Sik’s actions are awkward and suspicious, and we over-analyse his movements and actions/inactions to come to the conclusion that he’s done something. Then later on in the show, we revisit this sequence from Dong Sik’s perspective and yes, he has done something but not what we were led to believe. All of his awkward and suspicious behaviour becomes a painful and morally grey experience, where the audience feels great sympathy for him. 

The context defines the narrative. Without the full context, we do not get the full story. 

And only with the full context, can we look past the structure of the piece and unveil the answers to the questions that are asked... we reveal the truth.

Whilst rewatching the show, the viewing experience is completely different. All the pieces are already fitted into place, so I spent less time trying to decipher and instead, leisurely trying to digest. The experience is nowhere near as suspenseful but far more gut-wrenching. This is because the viewer already has the full story - the full context - everyone’s actions and inactions are accounted for: we know why x was acting sketchy in episode y because of what they did 20 years ago, and so on. 

When everyone’s actions are accounted for it is a lot easier to follow the story from Dong Sik’s perspective. We see the injustices that innocent people go through more harshly, we also see the cruelty of the guilty from the get-go. We are able to focus on the smaller details of people’s relationships, instead of thinking about the big picture. We are also able to take the time to truly understand the visual language the creators are showing us and how that shapes the narrative.

There is one sequence that comes to mind that is told purely from Joo Won’s perspective. There is no dialogue during this particular sequence of shots, so the audience is completely reliant on the visual language to understand what is being conveyed. This scene is greatly important for the show as a whole, as it gives us an uncensored look into Joo Won’s thoughts.  Without it, the narrative of the story would be different, as it adds context to Joo Won’s actions later on in the series. That scene is from episode two. 

iii

Joo Won and Dong Sik are on patrol, still getting used to each other as partners. One) because their personalities clash and two) because Joo Won is actively investigating Dong Sik for murder, which is just hanging there between them. They stop their patrol to help a disabled young adult who is lost in the rain. Dong Sik takes charge of the situation because he is better equipped at interacting with disabled people and the people of Manyang (and the wider Munju area) as a whole. This scene is one of the most important as it is an untainted humanisation of Dong Sik’s character, giving the audience (and Joo Won) a first glimpse into who Dong Sik really is.

Up until this point, Joo Won has only seen Dong Sik as a character: the killer; “the suspect” as Dong Sik later describes it. He vehemently dislikes him but still has a misguided interest in Dong Sik’s life. But this suddenly is challenged. Standing there in the rain, with no shoes on, smiling at the young man who is dancing, we get to see what Joo Won sees for the first time: kindness, humility, and beauty. 

It’s a glitch in the system.

This scene is slightly baffling. It poses the question of what the creators are truly trying to tell its audience. Is it that these two characters work best when they are unified and Joo Won’s assumptions of Dong Sik are wrong?... Well, yes ... but also, of course, hiding in plain sight is the subtext that Joo Won is gay/queer.

Which point takes paramount importance? It would seem that in this scene it’s the subtext. We see why this is so through the sequence of shots:

After the situation has been assessed by the pair and they have come to an agreement. Joo Won goes to the shop to get supplies to help with the young man and when he returns, we, the audience, are faced with a sequence of ever-closing in close-up shots. With each cut, the camera is showing us what Joo Won is choosing to focus on; where his eyes are gravitating. What is odd about the sequence is the information that is chosen to be shared: Dong Sik's feet, the umbrella, the smile: kindness, humility, beauty. 

 Joo Won returns to the pair and falters, he seems shocked into stillness. Which almost seems frivolous, as Joo Won is already privy to two-thirds of the information being presented. 

Joo Won already knew that Dong Sik had given his shoes to the young man. 

He knew about the umbrella because he is the one who gave it to Dong Sik to use. 

Then… they cut to a slow-motion close-up of Dong Sik’s smiling face, rain behind him and sunshine kissing his face. This last shot is the only piece of information we didn’t have before Joo Won went to the shop because it’s Joo Won’s thoughts at that moment. It’s no longer information that can be detailed in a police report but a deeply human moment. He has digested the information in front of him and this is his conclusion: beauty. 

This screams romantic undertones- especially with the knowledge that rain is often used as a romantic trope in visual media.  “​​Rain seems to go along with pivotal moments in characters' lives. It's implied that if you can ignore bad weather and brave the elements, then your big moment is even more real and intense and genuine. If you want to be deserving of your love, you won't care if it's raining, you will rush out into the rain to be with her or him-” tvtopes.org, Romantic Rain.

This trope is used often within Korean media, especially within the romance genres. So, it is a visual language that is common knowledge with Korean audiences. It is less likely to be seen within the crime and mystery genres, so it speaks volumes that the creators decided to include it.

Here are three examples of Korean dramas that use the Romantic Rain trope to show the protagonists have romantic feelings for one another:

Legend of the Blue Sea: offering an umbrella as protection/taking someone into your care Flower of Evil: Hee Sung allows himself to become soaked because of his feelings Goblin: slow motion shot of the characters passing one another in the rain

How Beyond Evil uses the same visuals within this scene:

Protection: Joo Won gives Dong Sik an umbrella and forensic shoe covers Soaked: Joo Won stops mid-run to stare at Dong Sik in the rain, seemingly awestruck/concerned Slow-motion: Joo Won’s perspective in the following sequence of close-ups is in slow motion

This scene is not the moment that Joo Won realises the extent of his feelings for Dong Sik. It is used as supporting evidence for the later conversations Joo Won has with Park Jung Je and Nam Sang Bae. In which he is asked by both of them why he cares so much about the cold case (in which Dong Sik is his suspect). To which, Joo Won replies the first time he’s asked:

“This is Lee Dong Sik’s–” 

He shouts this and has to stop himself, calming down to answer that he’s determined to solve the cold case because one of the victims is Lee Dong Sik’s sister. The key person in that answer is Lee Dong Sik. He is the reason Han Joo Won cares so deeply [and because of his own personal involvement] about a case that no police officer would try to solve: “-there isn’t a single cop in the country that would prioritise such a case.” [Park Jung-Je.]

Han Joo Won is a determined person. When he sets his mind to something, he will achieve it, even if it upsets other people or hurts himself. He’s a person who cares deeply about things and can become easily fixated. If the creators wanted us to see Joo Won’s actions deriving from a place of spite or a self-righteous need for the truth, they would never have used the Romantic Rain trope.

Following the scene in the rain, Joo Won chooses to not act upon what he felt then and instead, suppresses his feelings.  It makes sense. He’s experiencing attraction (eros) for his murder suspect; the man that he has been obsessing over; the man who only now is more than just a character to him. He is becoming a human and a very attractive one, at that. 

Joo Won doesn’t know what to do with that newfound knowledge. So… he starts to lose his cool. This is obviously aided by other factors…  

Without this scene, and those particular shots, Joo Won’s intense interest in Dong Sik and his mental decline over the next two episodes wouldn’t make as much sense. When we take the queer subtext into consideration, it makes the puzzle pieces fit all that bit more snuggly. It gives us the knowledge that Joo Won has humanised Dong Sik in his mind, he likes what he sees and he doesn’t know how that fits around his rigid moral compass… and what Joo Won knows about himself because really this scene is more about Joo Won discovering himself than it is about Joo Won discovering Dong Sik.

---

Look how devastated he is. This man has literally stalked the very handsome man he's staring at, has taken pictures of him, has said pictures on his tablet/printed out, spends his days staring at these pictures whilst biting his lip- then gets all bent out of shape because he realises he's attracted to him?? Baffling.

That is it for that scene's analysis, I remember writing more but I must have deleted it at some point. Anyway, hope that was entertaining and easy to read (I have the tendency to ramble on/make grammatical errors haha).

See ya!

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #han juwon #han joo won #lee dongsik #jwds #sir is it gay to use romantic tropes #whilst staring at your murder suspect?? #look how beautiful jw thinks ds is! #my guy is doomed #beyond evil analysis

[rowonlgc]

TM014 : VLOG. / WC : 470.

about three things rowon has learned over the course of this cruise:

one. if there’s ever a situation where he has to arm wrestle minjun, he’ll forfeit immediately. that kid’s got a grip.

two. god has his favorites, and considering the great trials they’ve been put through, it’s neither him or kyungsoo.

three. seojin is fun to fuck with.

but he can’t talk about any of that for the vlog. it’s a little too tmi, and it’s not quite the character he has crafted for the camera. …then again, sitting down and essentially making a speech isn’t either, so he takes the camera and angles it up from a lower position - just as he would when making a video call.

“so i came across this quiz the other day - y’know, that popular one where it analyzes your personality based on the kitchen utensil you pick. i chose the can opener -” ( actually, he chose the grater, and it told him that he was unnecessarily aggressive and difficult to handle, and he didn’t like that so he went back and clicked through all of the other options until he found can opener ) “- and it told me that i was an opportunist who’s always looking for new experiences.”

as he talks, he starts pacing around the room to give the impression that he’s casually chatting with a friend while going about his day.

“i’d say that’s pretty accurate. think they intended this cruise to be relaxing with a lot of down time, but i ended up packing my schedule. there was so much to do, so much to see - the disney park was fun, the water town was beautiful, the aquarium .. a little scary. felt like the fish were all glaring at me the entire time. do i look like fish food? be honest.” he narrows his eyes at the camera then -

he laughs. “i also learned some japanese rap. wanna hear? no? too bad, you’re gonna have to hear it anyway.” and so he starts to recite a few lines that he’d picked up from the j-pop workshop. ( absolutely butchers it. he hopes asami won’t ever see this - despite a questionable start, he kind of wants to keep his cool senior image. )

after his little cringe fest, he settles down against the wall and brings the camera up to eye level. “it’s been good,” he says, his voice a lot softer now. “wish we could all experience it.” this is true. when they first mentioned the cruise, he thought it was for everyone. not the case. but ah, he’s sure the others are fine. if not … well, he has souvenirs* for them. “maybe next time ~” with that, he finishes with a farewell, a finger heart, and waves off.

&

( *souvenirs section not included in word count )

for @yujinlgc, a pink phone case embellished with jewels and roses, reminiscent of her nails. tucked behind the styrofoam that holds the case in shape is a polaroid of rowon making a cheek heart.

for @hyuntaelgc, a sailor rilakkuma bear to add to his ever growing collection of teddy bear items. it’ll appear on hyuntae’s desk one afternoon holding a polaroid of rowon doing a finger heart.

for @lgcparker, a t-shirt that reads birds aren’t real in japanese. once unfolded, a polaroid of rowon posing with an actual bird will fall out. what’s this development? is rowon a spy too?!

for @lgcsoyoun, a fashionable silk scarf that’s close to crystallis’s official color. there’s also a polaroid of rowon dressed in the most hideous cruise outfit ( worry not, soyoun, it’s only for the picture ).

for @lgcsomin, a chicken wing keychain. it may seem like a silly gift, but let it be known, it took him the entire two weeks to find this because he needed the perfect gift. it also comes with a polaroid of rowon eating chicken.

and lastly for @lgcyein, a crochet cupcake as pictured, but with a crown because she’s a princess ( mostly derogatory … okay, sometimes affectionate ). no polaroid included because they’re still on email basis...

#lgc:traineemission #not in my gfx era so just text for now...... #if u were tagged pls scroll to bottom ~ #rw — solo.

[olderthannetfic]

I don't think tonal signifiers are a bad thing. That's basically what punctuation and emojis are. There's also the fun format going around where you saying something and then add the feeling behind it in parenthesis that I find really funny. Me @ my cat: stinky man (affectionate). We use a ton of different tools to convey tone over written communication, I don't think we need to limit ourselves or abandon one of those tools just because there are challenges with it. People who lie and use signifiers they don't mean are the same people who lie with plain words. You can manipulate and obfuscate your true feelings with or without using any tone tags. For complicated and obscure tags that don't have an obvious meaning, you can just ask the person who's using it what they mean, the same way we would ask someone what they mean when their words aren't clear. Overly long/complicated/general ones will naturally be rejected by wider online communities. Or having to look up chat speak or acronyms lol. The amount of times I've had to look up a different one over the decades, iirc, tldr, inb4, etc. I swear there's a new one everyday. Someone being a shithead and using tone tags they don't mean is just like someone saying something rude and ending it with haha jkjk :)!! Written communication will always need some level of clarification and will always hold some potential for intentional misleading, even after general consensus is met. At a certain point, you have to either get to know the person you're talking to, ask them what they mean, or make the decision to read what they're saying in good or bad faith depending on the context. Telling them they're coming across as a heel if they're playing games is also an option lol. (I use all we/yous generally)

--

I don't think we need to abandon anything. Write how you like to and how your friends do.

But recognize that language will always convey a wide variety of things about culture and group membership. "stinky man (affectionate)" tells me you're part of a particular kind of online group that uses that "(affectionate)", "(derogatory)" thing. I find that meme or whatever you want to call it confusing. I don't use it myself. That doesn't mean it's bad, but it does mean that trying to use it at me won't produce the same effect as using it at someone who normally uses it.

If someone adds "(sincere)" to the end of a statement, they sound like a robot. To me, it's always going to sound like a crutch for not knowing how to use traditional styles of writing or not being good at grammar and sentences with complex clause structures.

There's a reason I'm on tumblr, where you can write everything out, not twitter, where you're forced to abbreviate. I'll adopt LOL or IMO or whatever once it is so widely-adopted it's passé, but I don't tend to move quickly on language change.

[crimsongrimoire]

what are some of your favorite tropes sentences sayings phrases reoccurring processions of words in fics, either to read or write? Specifically like how in my opinion "fuck me until I can't X" and "nestled until they fell asleep" have such vibes?

and, are there any that you want to throw right in the trash? Like how "fuck my womb" makes my stomach feel moist (derogatory)

i haven't read much of anything fic wise in a While but some things stick with you idk. I could ctrl + f through my fics to find in depth stuff regarding writing but ill just go off the cuff

Good™️:

the ones mentioned are also extremely good actually. the vibes are there

i was actually thinking the other night about how weirdly horny the word ache is? i have no idea how to articulate it. it just Is. throb also. the vibes.

"come over here and do something about it" about literally anything

usage of the phrase "getting [one's] knees dirty" in the context of like. oral. hear me out. there's something about it

pay attention/eyes on me/look at me kind of stuff. the inherent homoeroticism of redirecting the attention of the object of your affections idk

one calling the other Theirs to a third party

for a non horny one, "you really don't need to worry about me" / "I DONT CARE IF I NEED TO IM GOING TO CAUSE YOU CLEARLY DONT! BE CAREFUL!!"

for klk specifically. light/dark symbolism. sun/moon symbolism. star symbolism. drives me insane affectionate

"keep moaning my name like that" and related phrases

i never feel like i do them enough justice consistently to have posted one but like. soft aftercare is so everything

shovel talks are endearing tbh. as with anything it depends on the execution but like conceptually i like them

"I beg your pardon?" / "then beg" is it cheesy and kinda dumb. for sure. however. it's funny

trash:

that one too, mostly because. like. that aint how that works. that would Hurt. and any talk of pregnancy really. "im gonna knock you up" type shit. like... just. don't. it's not sexy, esp as someone who doesn't want kids nor the ability to have them really its just. why... i don't get what's sexy about it. and the fact that oftentimes it's never been something tagged in consideration of. like yall have fun however that kills my investment and would likely make me wish i didn't start whatever I was reading. cringe inducing at best

hot take: yanderes as a general concept. always has been severely not my thing. everyone have fun, i honestly just find it annoying. immediate filter out of any results of whatever im looking at, full stop. there's a handful in some games and such i like and i straight up ignore those characters unironically I have zero time for that in my life. i bring it up cause it tends to be shoehorned into like ANY big weeby fandom SOMEWHERE

ngl it's hard to think of specific phrases i really haven't read anything in a while. i personally dislike the word chuckle idk. i don't mind seeing it places but it feels weird in my own writing. same goes for Most Words For Pussy, The Biggest Reason Why I Haven't Written Basically Any Femslash, All The Words Just Suck And It Feels Weird.

minor grammatical pet peeve actually. slightly bothered when dialogue tags are misused. like. "dialogue," she smiled. putting an expression after a comma rather than articulating anything about how it was said at all. like either close the statement and have that be unrelated or add some kind of other descriptor to the speech. slight but noticeable to me

#cawing #at age 6 i was born without a face #accidentally had like all day to think about this SJNEWND #but that makes for a longer list i guess

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Oh I love Lewyn. I think the way he is in gen 2 made me love him more. How can one man have so many things wrong with him (affectionate, derogatory). I want to put him an empty plastic container of Kraft parmesan cheese to observe him and then when I have made absolutely 0 conclusions from observing him I pour him back in the stream like I am eight years old and catching minnows.

I was gonna make a joke about how yeah, I'd marry someone who's actually present for our kids, but. glances around at the rest of the Gen 1 male cast and their inevitable fates. Finn. I guess I'm marrying Finn.

I'd hope that a FE4 remake wouldn't add a My Unit but if they do I want it to be like Marc? in Blazing Blade, I believe, where you're not a playable character but you're there on the sidelines managing inventory and tactics and stuff. But since Oifey is also your tactics guy as Sigurd's squire, you could be like, the person who's teaching tactics to Oifey because god knows Oifey isn't learning that from Sigurd. And then, this is critical, a hypothetical FE4 My Unit must die at Belhalla with everyone else. I don't want a FE4 My Unit but if they add one then you have to die at Belhalla. I think that would be so funny. Then there's no new My Unit for Gen 2, it's just Lewyn kind of filling that off-the-battlefield advisor role. This is the only way I would want that implemented. This was tangential to your main point but I've thought about this before and if I'm given a character whose name and birthday I can customize to hang out with Sigurd I want that character to die with Sigurd. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#actually my hypothetical fe4 MU tactician doesn't get married bc she is in love with sigurd from afar #she is captivated by his blue hair and brainlessness. just like i am. what a guy.

[masterofdemise]

for the Bingo oh I wonder what your thoughts on Pluto >:3c wanna enable you to talk about him ehe >:D

I've done him before but since it's a new bingo and the last one was from awhile ago, I thought I would do it again.

I could have technically scratched off more of the boxes but I decided not to because that would be too many circles.

Since I don't feel like doing anything productive, I'll actually go through every single box that isn't repeated.

(Edit: Removed color coding but it was unintentional because tumblr just removed it for some reason :/ Don’t know how to add it back now so it’s stuck with just bolded text)

Everyone but me is wrong about them <3: Not enough people think about him for me to disagree with others so I can happily not check this box. I also haven't heard other people's head canons for him so I can't say whether or not they are wrong.

I'm obsessed with their character arc: What character arc :'(

They got done dirty by fans: There are some works that I've seen that make Pluto the absolute worse human being on the planet and as much as it makes me sad, it's also understandable since he doesn't get much characterization in the first place.

They got done dirty by the creators/Not enough screen time/Wasted Potential: This one is obvious and needs no explanation.

Too much screen time/Overrated: You would have to be tripping on stairs to think he had too much screen time or was overrated. Pluto has like what, less than ten fans including me and a lot of them have disappeared from the Beyblade fandom since then :(

Adoption Papers: If I could steal him and make him my OC I would.

I am constantly going insane: I mean anyone following me can see it for themselves lol

They work better as part of a dynamic: Pluto doesn't exactly have much of a "dynamic" because of how little he appears and the fact he's always in the temple. One of the headcanon/story things I like to personally add myself is the rivalry between Pluto and Dynamis. It sort of makes sense considering they are opposites in sorts of ways. I wish Beyblade did more with them.

The popular ships for them suck: I've seen only three ship pairings for Pluto and it's Johannes, Rago, and Dynamis. As you can tell, I prefer Johannes but I can see Dynamis being one as well(there were some really cute Pluto Dynamis fics on pixiv that were really wholesome). I'm not personally a fan of the Rago ship but I'm not going to freak out if someone likes it (I don't know how to feel about Pluto being with someone who can step on him like a bug :/ )

Constantly listening to songs holding them like a paint swatch: I do this with every character I'm obsessed with(mostly with my OCs only but Pluto is fancy enough to get this treatment).

I want to study them like a cockroach: He's so mysterious and unusual. Like, so many questions can be asked about him. How old is he even? Is he like every other character and has dead parents? Did he even really do that much behind the scenes of Dark Nebula and Hades Inc. or did he sit in his temple all day? I want to know.

What's wrong with them (affectionate): He's so stupid and I love him for it.

What's wrong with him (derogatory): I was about to check this one off but most of the time when I make fun of him, it's only cause I think he's the goofiest lil' guy. I couldn't actually hate him.

I would never want to meet them: I'm such a boring person irl I don't see why we would have a reason to oppose one another.

They've never done anything wrong in their life <3: He's probably done many things wrong(He's the leader of a doomsday cult) but I'm always one for villain characters so it's okay :3

My opinions would be received by most fans as akin to hitting a wasp's nest with a baseball bat: I've had a good experience in the Beyblade fandom so far and haven't encountered that many weirdos(yet) but unfortunately I have had some experiences where people were kind of rude to me about liking Pluto so unfortunately I do have to check this box. (I will clarify that the person did apologize but still. It has made me rethink how much art I really want to upload of him at times)

This is the best character in the work: I mean I love Pluto and he's my favourite character ever but is he the best character in the work? Yes and no. No because as you know he barely does anything. There are many other characters that are objectively better(imo I love Dashan, Ryutaro, and everyone in Team Dungeon)

I like them but I don't really think about them much: Yea sometimes I wish I could not think about them much but that clearly isn't the case.

I don't really have much to say about them: I have too much to say about them. I'm using every fiber in my body to not put him in literally everything.

I actively dislike them: No.

Biting and killing and maiming them and death and violence: He has already died twice. He doesn't need to die more times. I was about to jokingly check this box but it made me a bit sad so I didn't.

#beyblade

[zephyrwrites2]

For the blorbo/babygirl bingo I'm not too in the know about the main fandoms in your introduction post so I'm just looking up some characters first of all you say you like anything to do with Damian from DC Comics so him, now looking at more of the comic characters Atlanna, Cyclone, and Morpheus, then to add varity I see that you put D.Gray-man I don't know that either however Cross Marian seems interesting so him, I could send more however I don't want to spam you with characters all at once

Hii! Thank you for the ask!

Here the chart first (that I didn't write on because I can't do anything clean lmao)

Also I don't know much about Atlanna and Cyclone sadly, I've only read Batman comics for DC)

Damian Wayne (DC Comics): Pure of Heart / Affectionate (that's a kid no older than 15 in most comics who tries so hard to be good and redeem himself after years of abuse! Plus he's one of the biggest victim of racist writing and deserves so much more, I love him so much)

Atlanna: Pure of Heart / Derogatory (Affectionate) (I think I remember her in the movie? I liked her well enough lol)

Cyclone: Pure of Heart (I think? I really don't know her, sorry!)

Morpheus: Kind of Unethical, Kind of a Bastard / Affectionate (Listen, he's so fucked up, he did many things wrong (even more in the comic than the show) but he tried so hard to do his job right and he deserved far much than what he got T.T I still stupidly hope the end will be different in the show but that's probably hopeless lol)

Cross Marian: Kind of Unethical, Kind of a Bastard / Affectionate (Derogatory) (Don't watch the anime because they made him an abusive asshole, but in the manga he's an ass and deeply messed up! But also loyal to his friends and he tries so badly to be there and help Allen despite knowing *spoiler*! I love him. I hate him. I want to slap him. I want to kiss his forehead.)

Thank you again and don't worry about spamming me :) I might take a few days before answering because I prefer to use my computer for that but I love it! Thank you <3

#ask game #c'est moi #mon post #damian wayne #dc comics #cyclone (dc) #atlanna (dc) #dream of the endless #the sandman #cross marian #d.gray-man #analyze

[robert-deniro]

Ted Lasso + Chants

#tedlassoedit #tvedit #userrobin #usernastya #userconstance #usersugar #usersydney #userbecka #sakshi does a thing #ted lasso #ted lasso tv #kind of wanted to add (derogatory) and (affectionate) #for the wanker ones lmao #but i guess they speak for themselves #anyway #happy ted lasso s2 eve <3

[mpaulluvr666]

instead of working on my piles of homework and exams i’m going to analyze my favorite scene in Villette in order to understand why it makes me C r a z y….

my absolute favorite part in Villette is when Lucy finally let’s Mme Beck have it. what makes it so great is that it is a long time coming, Lucy and the rest of the school has spent the entire book under the constant surveillance of Mme Beck and Lucy is the one who calls her out on her dogmatism and hypocrisy.

in the chapter “Cloud”, Lucy waits for M. Paul (“One must imagine M. Paul hot” (Daisy)) in an empty classroom. it’s a cinematic scene, you can imagine it in your minds eye: the moonlight streaming in through the windows, the empty desks all in a row, and Lucy Snowe pacing back and forth, anxiety eating away at her.

“what grief could be sacred?” ANYWAY!!!!!!!!! like can you imagine, your life is so controlled, you are constantly watched, you don’t really have your solitude and no space to grieve…..

Then…….. Mme Beck enters, thee woman who is controlling your life and disrupting your grief and your solitude..

I would like to add here that I am Mme Beck hot brain, I can’t help it I love a girl boss 🤷‍♀️ but I do think she’s a cunt (affectionate and derogatory). Mme Beck comes in ready to impose her order, Lucy’s been out too late and of course she’s waiting for Paul. Usually Lucy would cow to Mme Beck, like how in an earlier chapter she let’s her rummage through her personal things, but now Lucy won’t be deterred.

A lot of people praise Villette because Lucy ends the novel as a single woman. And yeah, that’s hot and it is funny that M. Paul dies, but I am NOT immune to romance and Belgian real estate and I am— as my url says— an M. Paul lover. but more importantly, I love Lucy Snowe, she is a fiery freak who is probably 5’9 and I LOVE her and I love that, here, she finally stands up for herself. She knows that she has the chance to love and be loved in return, for all that she is. M. Paul loves Lucy, he loves that she’s cold and stern and judgemental but also witty and sensitive and intelligent. At this point, I think Lucy is in love with him but also is more than content to just be his friend. She wants any kind of love because, she DESERVES to be loved. She’s a human being!!!!!!! And she’s not gonna let Mme. Beck get in the way, not even to give her a sedative (which she does do lol).

K.O.!!!!!!!! Lucy and Mme Beck are foils for one another. I think in Mme Beck Lucy sees a lot of herself and what she could turn into if she becomes the cold and unfeeling woman everyone thinks she is.

“If you have any sorrow or disappointment— and, perhaps, you have— nay, I know you have— seek your own palliatives, in your own chosen resources. Leave me, however, leave me I say!”

STOP THE CLOCKS! Lucy knows Mme Beck, she IS Mme Beck, she has got her number. Lucy sees through Mme’s controlled and fastidious façade, because it’s one Lucy employs everyday. But she knows deep down, Mme MUST feel that same gnawing loneliness but instead of numbing herself like Mme does, Lucy reaches out desperately for personal happiness. the same happiness that Dr. John told her to cultivate???? idk!!!!! i’m going NUTS!!!!!!!

So, Lucy tells Mme Beck to gtfo and Mme Beck, of course, refuses. Now Lucy is at the end of her tether, this woman doesn’t let her have peace and Lucy has HAD it!!!!!! She understands now.

DOG!!

IN!!!

THE!!!!

MANGER!!!!!!!!

Dog in the manger refers to one of Aesop’s fables. the one where the dog is in the manger ahagshah but it’s meaning is basically someone who uses something that they don’t need or really have any concrete use for.

Mme Beck wants to marry Paul even though she doesn’t love him, what’s her interest in him: i don’t know, Paul’s a freak. Anyway, I just love that Lucy throws this insult at her because NO ONE stands up to Mme Beck. and nobody, not even the reader expects Lucy to and then SHE DOES!!!!

Lucy’s all about suppressing her emotions and feelings. She puts on this façade of being icy and cold. But like she says in one part of the book: “ I had feelings: passive as I lived, little as I spoke…”

I think this is just the first time in the book that I really get that gut-punch feeling from Lucy. I can feel her anger and ferocity, the kind that only comes from someone who pushes everything down only for everything to explode out of them. anyway, dog in the manger!

#villette #me and daisy are going insane today at the villette summit

[softluci]

aggressive affection (round two!)

[ part two of this, with the now dateables. guess which one(s) i have a crush on—i am actually so embarrassed because i'm getting shy trying to write this, but it's a must that i put this into the universe. if you want to read this first, rather than the one with the brothers, here is the preface: ] 

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth. 

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

dia

you—why did you—look. 

dia is a very nice, social guy; very smiley, you guys get along great, that's great! 

he is still very much a demon (the prince of them, in fact)  and very much not one of your friends from the human world, no matter how much he wants you to treat him as such. 

you should've known better. 

he'd invited you to the castle for tea and a nice chat—a regular occurrence between the two of you so that he could see how you were doing, how the program was going, talk about lucifer, play catch up; nothing out of the ordinary. 

he complimented you on your performance thus far, telling you about how well you've done—which was just standard kindness—so would you like to explain to the class why your immediate response was, “so kiss me then,” ? 

he was totally fine with it, but he was also very confused, so it was only fair that he pulled you into his lap to get a better understanding of what you meant. if you do the math, it adds up, i swear. 

luckily, you don’t even have to explain yourself with this one because it seems like he already knows. this is good because, given his proximity to you at that moment, you wouldn’t have done a good job explaining yourself anyway. 

“is this how you talk to your human friends?” 

it was a simple question, with a simple answer, it’s just that you were nose-to-nose, and his eyes were hooded all of a sudden and his hand was cupping the side of your face so, naturally, you had some difficulty forming words—fortunately, you managed to nod instead of embarrassing yourself by trying to talk. 

“and do they ever do what you ask?” 

again, it would’ve been foolish of you to try and speak, so you just shook your head. you were doing a surprisingly nice job of maintaining your dignity, well done! this is nice compensation for the fact that you seemed to forget you were dealing with the demon of demons, but he was kind enough to remind you—

“well, i’m not one of them, so i’ll do as you say. you don’t mind, right?” 

do you have a saving grace with this man? meh. he doesn’t want to do anything in front of the others, but he can literally go somewhere private with you under the guise of wanting to talk. it’s not like anyone is gonna tell him he can’t. 

barbatos

you don’t make any sense. you watched black butler know that he’s the scariest person in the devildom, why did you think you could do this? he might be a menace not too far underneath that professional exterior, but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck around and find out. or maybe that’s exactly what that means. 

all he did was bring you tea. he saw you sitting in the castle’s library doing schoolwork—dia offered to let you study there to enjoy some quiet that you wouldn’t have gotten at the house, and because you aren’t one to forgo such a kind gesture, you accepted. 

he set it down on the table in front of you, much to your surprise. 

“oh, thank you! you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him from your seat. 

“nonsense,” he started, smiling softly, “you’ve been working hard.”

you, for whatever reason, took this as an opportunity to pretend barbatos was one of your human friends. 

“you shouldn’t say that unless—” 

that’s all he let you say. what you were going to say was, “you shouldn’t say that unless you plan on making out with me.” trouble was, he already knew that. you must have forgotten who you were talking to. 

before you could finish, his hand was under your chin, and his other hand was resting on the arm of your chair, effectively caging you in, and effectively keeping you from looking away. 

his smile went from benevolent to teasing meaning you got the menace you wanted, as he asked,“unless what?” 

he took more joy in your flustered state than he would care to admit, but he’d recently learned that you had an affinity for trying to catch people off guard, so he thought it was more than fair to do the same to you—as a treat, for him. 

that said, it’s no surprise that you had to endure relentless teasing, him asking you what you wanted from him, why you were so shy all of a sudden, telling you not to be shy and that he wouldn’t bite, unless you asked nicely. what? he liked how warm your face made his hand. 

“what’s wrong? don’t you want to kiss me?” 

okay. that was the last straw. you never even hinted that you didn’t wanna kiss this man, and here he was, making assumptions about you as a person. 

you, in your infinite confidence and assertive nature, said, “i—i never said i didn’t want to.” 

and you know what, you really showed him because even though he laughed at you, even though he made a show of taking off his gloves, even though his hand moved from the arm of the chair to your thigh—even though he took every necessary step to remind you that he was in control, you still got what you wanted. and then some. 

your only saving grace with him is the fact that he breathes professionalism and he’s always busy. when he isn’t busy, however. well. 

simeon

you goddamn heathen. oh, you fucking freak. simeon has a reputation to uphold, you can’t treat him like one of your heathen little human friends, which means you can’t just say whatever pops into your head when you’re talking to him, which means—you should really learn to take compliments normally. 

simeon is a nice guy, and he likes you a lot, so it only makes sense that he compliments you whenever he can. in other words, he dishes out anywhere from one to four compliments whenever the two of you are together. he can’t help it, he just thinks you’re neat! 

the fact remains that you chose to be a menace to the angelic persona he is supposed to project at all times. 

it was a simple compliment. he enjoyed spending time with you, and he told you so, just telling you that your presence was a pleasant one. 

your response was actually normal—it was a simple, “i like being around you too!” 

in a way, this is simeon’s fault, if you think about it. he could’ve just said, “thank you,” and kept it pushing, but instead, he said, “really?”

why would he think you didn’t like being around him? that was unacceptable, so, really, what choice did you have but to give him the most solid affirmation he would ever hear? 

“of course! every day, i’m like, ‘wow, simeon is so cool, we should make out,’ you know?”

what you were expecting was for him to blush and laugh it off, call you silly, and maybe pat your head for good measure. that was a reasonable thing to expect, albeit that is not even close to what you got. 

since you were being so casual, simeon figured that he could—that he should—do the same. it was only natural that he stop being a model angel for a little while, right? 

oh, don’t look so flustered, it’s not like you’ve never been backed against a wall before. how many times has a demon done this to you? it’s only fair that an angel gets a turn. 

“actually,” he started, lips already brushing against yours as he spoke. “i don’t know. would you mind showing me?” 

if you are, understandably, too flustered to function, he will gladly make the first move, don’t worry, but if his first move happens to be taking your bottom lip between his teeth instead of kissing you, well… there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it, so you may as well just enjoy. 

i mean, you tempt an angel, and you get what’s coming to you—that’s all there is to it. 

similar to barbatos, you will only be safe from this man when he’s in public or around a few of the others. if you’re alone with him and in private, he’s already under the impression that he doesn’t have to be an angel with you, so find joy in the side of him you’ve uncovered. 

solomon (derogatory)

you two deserve each other, really. both of you are public enemies. he was just as terrible as your friends from back home, except he was always walking the line like a tightrope. he was always on the verge of making his teasing into a reality, and to be quite frank, you were starting to get fed up—and you were right to be. but this is what you get for being a dirty solomon enjoyer. 

all of his empty threats and demands about kissing you, his lingering touches on your lower back or waist or thighs, his dumb little smirks on his dumb little face, his occasional bites wherever you were vulnerable, his habit of putting his hand around your throat for fun (or so he says)—those all came with the territory. he hasn’t had a friend to tease in ages (he can’t do it to asmo without it immediately turning into an hour long event), so you get it all at once, congratulations! 

don’t look so upset, he’s an attractive guy, so this is still a win. 

now, all of that said, you were hard pressed to find an opportunity to catch this man off guard, but once you got your chance, you latched onto it exactly as you should’ve. 

the two of you were in his room, studying (“studying”) for an upcoming exam. he was sitting in a chair, and you were on his bed a few feet away. you needed something from your bag, which was on the side of his chair farthest from you, so you decided to walk by him to get it, like a normal person. look at you, acting regular for once.

evidently, that was a mistake. as soon as you were in front of him, his hand was on your waist, and you were pulled into his lap. 

you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and everything, and he seemed to have an explanation ready to go, paired with one of his signature smiles.

“i was wondering when i’d get to bother you again.” 

this was your chance—probably the only chance you’d get in a while, so it made sense that you took this opportunity to be heinous, even though you were in a rather compromising position. 

“either sleep with me or leave me alone.”

you did it. for a moment, you had him. the surprise plastered on his face was enough gratification to last you a lifetime, however fleeting it may have been. unfortunately for you, he had a wonderful recovery time. 

before you could fully enjoy the look on his face, it was gone, replaced by a more sinister expression that almost made you regret your decision. 

for what it’s worth, you didn’t have to see that menacing look of his for long because he turned you away from him to press your back into his chest. if that makes you feel any better. 

“i’ll never leave you alone,” he hummed, teeth already grazing your neck. his hand moved from your waist to your inner thigh, slowly separating one leg from the other. “but you already knew that.” 

you didn’t have a saving grace with this man before, and now you never will.

#COME GET YALL JUICE! #i acc considered doing an sfw platonic ver with luke as a bonus but then i got tired #also didn't want anyone to see his name and freak #anyway #it's acc not funny how shy i got writing this BYE #how do people write smut omg #literal gods good lord #obey me #obey me! #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me dia #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me undateables

[luci-cunt]

Blessing you all with @moonsandstarsaregay and I's fucking brilliance that is the lotr modern college au where Sam is utterly in love with his best friend, which is terrible 😔, because it'll never be reciprocated 💔.

Meanwhile Frodo thinks they've been dating for years. The whole miscommunication is based on the fact that Sam is absolutely convinced "bf" means "best friend" and not "boyfriend" and Frodo is incapable of typing words out completely

There is more but there is a image limit 😔

Transcript below cut <33

[A variety of screenshots from a discord conversation between myself (Luci) and my friend (Mo-ony), I'm gonna just paraphrase keysmashes lmaooo not copy them letter for letter <3]

[Image One]

Luci: also wait wait now I'm actually obsessed with this au ok wait college au modern college au

Mo-ony: Queers are just on another level of stupid at times and that's ok YES Yeeeeeeeeees Frodo keeps planning the cutest dates for them

Luci: Sam and Frodo grew up in the same town and went to the same high school and then went to the same college--but sam's majoring in something like agriculture or history of agriculture bc I love him and Frodo is doing some entirely made up and very flowery degree that he can list off without a econds hesitation but no one else has any hope of remembering (except Sam, who thinks it's the most normal thing in the world to have it memorized and is confused when no one else can)

[Image Two]

mo-ony: Frodo poasting pics of them like "so happy spending time with my wonderful bf [insane amount of loving emojis]"

Luci: dsjkf;lakjsdfasdf

mo-ony: And sam is like "frendzone [pensive emoji]"

[Image Three]

Luci: Aragorn is a professor who ended up just becoming a father, Legolas is his TA and he is insufferable and Gimli is a mechanic/ shop student/ TA and he and Legolas have this "feud"

[Image Four]

Luci: Gandalf is some professor that is rumored to have been hired when the school was founded and has tenure so strong he could literally burn the building down and still get paid

[Image Five]

Luci: Bilbo is Frodo's guardian and he's literally just as insuferable as Frodo--like, same made-up-incredibly-complex-degree except that he actually gets actively pissed when people don't remember it

mo-ony: aldjksf;laskjdf;asldk

Luci: he used to teach but he retired because he hates people so much so Aragorn and Gandalf know him (derogatory) (affectionate)

mo-ony: XDDD Is he an academic still?

Luci: yes, very much so, he has an unreasonable amount of PhD's and everyone thinks he's absolutely unhinged

mo-ony: He feels like the type to publish but then refuse to defend any of his work

Luci: YES OH MY GOD YES

[Image Six]

mo-ony: bc that involves going outside

Luci: he just grumbles about it bitterly in his house alsjkdf;laksjdf;lak

mo-ony: YES

Luci: like he keeps up with people's arguments but refuses to dispute them

mo-ony: exactly!!!!!

Luci: Frodo is keeping twitter a secret from him for his own safety and it is a running gag that he absolutely cannot find out about the internet Sam by extention is also in on this

mo-ony: and idk who but certain brave souls provoke him into tangents and secretly write them down and add it to the academic discourse anyways

Luci: Gandalf wants so badly to give it away but he's also slightly afraid of Frodo

[Image Seven]

Luci: jas;dflkjasd;lfkjasdf Bilbo: "what's this twitter thing??" Frodo: *panicking* "it's a sex thing" Sam: *standing in the room* [skull emoji] Bilbo: "I'll never understand technology"

[Image Eight]

Luci: also Legolas is absolutely some kind of instagram famous icon

mo-ony: oh my god oh my goddddddddd hes a gd inluencer

Luci: Legolas: *visiting Hobbiton and taking selfies everywhere* "oh my god this is so gorgeous my followers will die" Bilbo: "Followers?" Sam: *panicking* "Legolas is the leader of a cult"

mo-ony: XDDDD

Luci: Frodo: *nodding along frantically*

mo-ony: "youre being followed?? And you came to my house????"

Luci: k;flajsd;flkajsd LITERALLY I'm actually losing it this is incredible

mo-ony: *frantically licking the doors and windows*

[Image Nine]

Luci: Arwen in this AU is like, a park ranger and Aragorn is just completely helplessly in love with her. Like--any spare moment mans like "have I told you about my gorgeous and amazing and strong wife?"

mo-ony: T-T Oh my god What a mood

Luci: she comes in ust covered in dirt and beaming and kisses him before turning to the class and holding up a fucking frog like "THIS FUCKER IS SO POISONOUS" and everyone is like "YOOOO"

[Image Ten]

(context, we swapped to talking about Galadriel)

Luci: ok but if that's the case then she'd be like, just a good friend of Gandalf's and everyone in the entire college is actually in love with her Also I think it would be entirely hilarious if like, everything about this au was modern and normal but Galadriel is still just literally an elf goddess alkdj;laskjdflkj

mo-ony: lakjsd;lfkjasd;lfkjasdf Losing it Yes XDDDDDD

Luci: Galadriel: *rides in on a massive stag, glowing like pure starlight and causing flowers to turn towards her like she's the sun* All the college students just assuming they're having a group hallucination: "Preddy lady"

[end description]

#lotr #lord of the rings #dunno what to tag this so well just go with thay #luci and moon #XDDD