#let’s show some love for the ‘‘scary’’ disorders

[awakefor48hours]

Quick, share a neurodivergent headcanon that isn’t ADHD and/or autism

#too many neurodivergent headcanons are autism and ADHD #let’s show some love for the ‘‘scary’’ disorders #how about schizophrenia or OCD or Tourettes

[mirage-aera]

•°. *࿐ Stay high

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

pt 1. - pt 2

Synopsis: You lose yourself in your grief. You do various things that you never did, or occasionally did. As much as you know it’s wrong, you can’t get yourself to stop. You need to keep him off your mind somehow.

Word count: 2.263

Masterlist

TW!! Mention of character death, eating disorder, alcoholism.

Please don’t read this, read my other work instead if this triggers you. This time it’s pretty heavy on the latter two topics. Stay safe lovelies.

Simon has been officially declared MIA on a mission gone bad. Or so, that’s what you’ve been told. It’s been months and you’ve been spiraling ever since the news broke out. You’re clinging onto the smallest of hopes that he’s still out there. Alone, injured, but alive. It’s scary how you can go from being completely independent to being dependent on someone, only for it to be ripped away from you in seconds, being left alone to figure out how to be fully independent again. You’ve gone from being able to sleep in your bed alone like a baby, to being not able to sleep at all. Tossing and turning, wondering if Simon is still out there kicking, or if he already has kicked the bucket. His body lying in a ditch somewhere or in some organization’s basement. You don’t know, no one knows what happened to him. All that is known is that he was on a solo mission, observing a high-value target. Only for it to be an ambush and get surrounded by tangos. From there on out it was radio silence.

You lay on the couch. Eyes swollen and red from continuous crying. The TV is playing some show that you can’t be bothered to care about on repeat. It’s been months, and you’re still as miserable as the day they came to your door and sent you their condolences. They promised to let you know if there are any updates about him, even if they end up finding his body. They promised they’d tell you. You don’t know if the lack of updates is a good thing or the exact opposite.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the 'tub, then I go to sleep

You haven’t eaten all day. You either don’t eat for days on end, or eat an unhealthy amount of junk food to keep you going. You know it’s not healthy. You know it’s not what Simon would want you to do. But you can’t help it. You need something, someone to numb the pain. A knock sounds at the door. You rush off the couch to open the door. You hope that it’s Simon at the door. You stumble toward the door and fling it open. Your heart sinks to your stomach when you spot two military officers at the door. They look at you grimly and hold out Simon’s dog tags, bloodied balaclava, and a small wooden box with his personal effects. Your entire world crumbles at that moment. The sight of his dog tags and bloodied balaclava sends bile to your throat. You reach out with shaky hands for the items. You put the wooden box down. You clutch the piece of cloth and metal tightly in your hands. One of the officers speaks up. “Mrs. Riley, we regret to inform you that Simon Riley has been declared KIA,” they take off their hats and bow their heads, “our condolences.” A sob escapes your throat. You nod meekly, wish them a good night, and shut the door. Once the door is closed, it’s only you in the lonesome cold house. You slide down the door and sit on the floor. Cries leave your body. He’s gone, he’s really gone, and he’s not coming back.

You get up shakily and walk to the kitchen. You raid the kitchen cabinets for whatever junk food you can reach for. You grab several candy bars, cookies, cakes. Whatever you still have left, whatever you haven’t touched. You glance at the fridge. All of the food stored is starting to expire. You know you should eat healthier if you’re going to eat at all. But it isn’t appetizing to you anymore. More tears fall from your eyes. You trudge over to the couch. You slump over and start eating. You binge on whatever you grabbed until it’s all or mostly gone. Not even a minute later you feel yourself growing nauseous. You send yourself to the bathroom to throw up. You don’t make it to the toilet bowl. Instead, you empty all of your stomach’s contents into the bathtub. After you finish throwing everything back up. You slump over the side of the bathtub. You rest your head on your arms. Sobs racked through your body. Binging on junk food made you temporarily forget about Simon. Giving you short bliss. Now you’re back into that rabbit hole and you can’t climb out. Eventually, you fall asleep on the cold, hard bathroom floor. Having been tired out by sobbing your sorrows out.

The following morning you wake up with a sore and scratchy throat. Your head is pounding. And the thoughts of Simon are flooding your mind. All of the past memories you’ve made together are looping in your mind like a movie. All of his sweet nothings are playing in your head like a broken record. It’s as if he’s haunting you in your own house. A house you used to share with him. You begrudgingly get up from the bathroom tiles. You walk towards the living room, wanting to go back to sulking on the couch and feeling miserable for yourself. For how far you’ve fallen. Then you eye the liquor cabinet. You aren’t much of a drinker, you never were. But you’d sometimes join Simon in the activity, as he’s fond of dabbling into the occasional night spent with whisky in one hand, the other entangled with yours. You swing open the liquor cabinet. Grabbing the first thing you see. Whisky. Great. Another thing to remind you of him. You walk towards the dining table. A table you’ve always kept neat, a table that is now littered with all sorts of things. You haven’t cleaned the house in ages, not having the energy to do so.

And I drank up all my money

Dazed and kinda lonely

You're gone, and I gotta stay high all the time

To keep you off my mind

You sit down and crack open the bottle of whisky. You don’t bother pouring it into a glass. You take a huge gulp and swallow. Your throat burns as the liquid traverses from your throat to your stomach. You grimace. You never got used to the burning sensation, perhaps you will later. You keep drinking until you feel yourself getting sick.

The same pattern repeats in the following days. You’d binge eat junk food, throw it up, and pass out. The next morning you’d drink yourself stupid and sick. After you run out of alcohol, you’d buy more. You run out of junk food, you order a huge amount of takeout. You burn through your money without a care in the world.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you, babe, I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you

All of this has one goal, to keep Simon off your mind for as long as possible. Even if it’s only temporary. You’d rather forget about him temporarily than torment yourself with all sorts of trinkets around the house that remind you of him. The picture frames on the wall. His closet. His favorite drink, alcoholic and non alcoholic. Even his toothbrush will torment you till the day you die. Every time you try to pick your life back up. When you try to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart that he has left behind. You’d regress and fall further down that hole. You’ve gone from being an occasional drinker to someone who can’t function without getting drunk at least every other day. To someone who eats healthy and promotes it, to someone who doesn’t bother anymore and eats a very unhealthy amount of junk food. From someone who seldom goes to bars, to someone who frequents them often.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown, make them feel alive

I make it fast and greasy

I'm numb, and way too easy

You find yourself in another bar. You’ve been hopping in between bars for the last couple of months. People are always telling you that with time grief will get easier. Oh how wrong they are. You feel the same amount of grief, if not more. The bartender recognizes you the instant you make yourself known. He already hands you your preferred drink. You’re a paying customer after all, even if you look like you went through hell and back. As you down shot after shot. You see a man walk up to you and take a seat next to you. You ignore him. Wanting to drown yourself in your sorrows in solitude. But the man is persistent and orders you another shot when you finish yours. You glance at him. “You didn’t need to do that.” You say indifferently. The man shrugs before grinning. “You look like you’ve had a rough couple of days. You could use a treat.” You scowl at the shot on the counter. You down it quickly. The man orders another for you. “Make that a couple of months.” You retort bitterly. He looks at you surprised before he gives you an understanding nod. The bartender gives you another shot. You down that one just as quickly as you did the other couple of shots. “If you need a distraction I’d be willing to give you one.” You arch an eyebrow. He’s offering you to hook up with him. You dwell on his offer. You can’t believe you’re even considering it. It must be the alcohol talking. Before you even realise it you blurt out your answer. “Sure.”

One thing leads to another. A sloppy, messy kiss develops into a makeout session. From the living room to the bedroom. Clothes being torn off. When he climbs up onto you, a thought rushes through your slightly sobered-up mind. You promised you’d stay loyal to him. Even if he’s dead. Everything starts rushing to you and you can’t take it. You push him off you, gather your clothes, give him a rushed apology while throwing your clothes on, and storming out of his apartment. You call yourself an Uber to get you back home. You swear to yourself, that this is going to be a night you’re going to forget. Erase from your mind.

You sit in the car, pondering on the actions that you’ve just done. You were ready to give yourself to another man, a stranger no less. You don’t even know his name and he doesn’t know yours. Tears fall from your eyes. That thought scares you. Yes, you want to keep Simon off your mind, but not like this. Anything but this.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun ain't got no end, oh

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain, oh

The next few days you spend your time revisiting old places that you often visited with him. Places he would take you out on dates, places that you begged him to take you to. You’d stay out from morning until late in the night. You’d bring enough that’ll be enough for two people. You and Simon. You’d pretend he’s still here with you, telling you about his day. How his teammates, friends are doing. People who pass you by think you’re insane, and honestly, they might be right. But do you care? No. This is your way to grieve. You keep his death off your mind by pretending he’s still here with you. Your own little play pretend. Because you know when you get home, the harsh reality will sink in and destroy you again. You want to savor these moments as long as you possibly can. Oh, how it hurts. That the one you need to numb the pain is Simon himself, and no one else.

You're gone, and I gotta stay high all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time to keep you off my mind

When you get back home from your adventures. The loneliness, and coldness from the house you once called comforting, and warm, seep into your bones. You go back to your routine. Drown yourself with more junk food or alcohol. Cry yourself to sleep. Wake up. Cry again. Go out until late. Rinse and repeat.

A figure hiding himself in the shadows outside your shared home observes your behavior. His heart breaks when he sees how far you’ve fallen. He watches how his strong independent woman, resorts to bad habits to keep herself afloat, mourning the supposed death of her husband. He wishes he could barge in, and comfort you. But he can’t. At least, not yet. And that fact hurts him tremendously. He just wishes he’ll be able to finish his mission before you fall rock bottom in that rabbit hole you’ve dug up for yourself.

For now, the only comfort he can give himself is watching you in your home. He’ll have to stay in the shadows and watch from afar. Keeping you at arms’ length.

Sometimes you’d see a dark, hooded figure by the window. They wear a mask similar to Simon’s. But it can’t be him. He’s dead and isn’t coming back. So for now you’ll ignore the figure. As long as they don’t come in here and interrupt your peace, you don’t give a damn about them. But you can’t help but have that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach. What if it really is him?

#cod #cod x reader #cod mwii #cod mw2 #call of duty #call of duty x reader #ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #angst

[czrpenters]

mine | gf!sam carpenter x reader

summary: it's very hard to sam fight against her instincts. so, maybe she should embrace them.

pairings: ghostface!sam carpenter x mackenzie!fem!reader.

warnings: mentions of mental disorders, blood, death of a character, suicide, dark themes.

word count: 3.2k words.

masterlist | request rules.

Sam felt guilty. She felt dirty. Disgusting, even.

Ever since the attacks in Woodsboro, she felt a switch turn inside of her. I mean, she always felt a little different, ever since she was a kid; she hated sharing, hated when things didn't went her way. Hated pretty much every person alive except her sister. And she never found peace. She had to reccur to drinking and drugs to forget about those feelings, even if for just a second. It was raging. Like it was tearing her chest from the inside out. The hallucinations with her real father, the voices she heard telling her to do things, all the anxiety and panic she felt daily. It was torture, to her.

And that got so freaking worse when she met you.

Sam met you through her sister, Tara. The attacks in Woodsboro were very personal to you. You lost your sister there. Your best friend, your Liv. You guys were closer than everything. Both of you were almost the same person, like two peas in a pod. Losing her was losing a part of you. And Sam pretty much saved you back then. Physically and emotionally.

When Sam fell in love with you, she thought that all of the horrible shit she felt would go away for good. She was innocent, of course; thought that love was the solution to all the problems in the world. And it was, for a while.

She felt peaceful, she felt at home. Everytime you kissed her, she forgot about everything bad that was inside of her. It was calm. Something she didn't even remembered how it felt. After Richie, Sam never thought about dating again; she couldn't even trust people enough to let them in. But she trusted you; she loved you. There was something about you and your personality that captivated her, and Sam couldn't even figure it out what it was. She didn't wanted to. She was too busy loving you to even think about these things.

That was the scenario for the first few months of your relationship, of course.

She definetly felt a switch turn inside of her after the attacks.

Why did she felt like that? Why did it feel good? When killing Richie, stabbing him, his blood splattering all over the floor and against her face. Seeing his life fade away in her bare hands. Why did it felt right?

It was too much, for her. She had to go to therapy, against her own will. It was scary. She had to switch therapists every now and then everytime she spoke about her feelings. It was too much for them, as well.

These thoughts haunted her. She had dreams about Richie, about the feeling of his blood in her hands, the smell of Amber's burnt skin, the knife piercing through Richie's flesh. And it wasn't helpful when her father decided to show up every now and then to have a little chat with her.

"You know you wanna do it." Sam turned around, scared that someone had broken into her house, but it was just him. Billy Loomis. "It's a human instinct, Sam. It's our instinct."

She took a deep breath, deciding to ignore him, getting back to her chores. It was almost like she could feel his presence in the room physically. She heard him laugh, but promptly ignored him; getting back to cut some vegetables for dinner. "Look at you, Sam. Look how the knife fits perfectly in your hand. It's like you were made for this."

She closed her eyes shut and threw the knife angrily at the sink. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" She screamed, turning around and realizing he was finally gone. That was her life now, day after day. The meds were barely working, and therapy was pretty much useless. So, in a last attempt to save the last bits of her sanity, she decided to leave Woodsboro. Maybe that was the solution all along, she thought. She needed to move on, to forget about the trauma, to live a normal life with her family. And maybe, just maybe, New York City would erase all of the past.

--

Sam woke up breathless. Her heart was pounding out of her chest. Another nightmare, like usual. And as always, about you. Dreaming about your death. The thought of you dying was terrifying to her, she felt this need to protect you from everything and everyone at all times and it could be too much for her own sanity sometims.

She looked to the side of the bed, her body shaking when she realised you weren't there.

"(Y/N)?" She got up the bed and looked for you in the bathroom, feeling dizzy and anxious. "(Y/N)??"

She ran to the kitchen, hoping to find you there; which she did. You were making yourself some late night snack with your headphones on, not even paying atention to your surroundings. Her heart finally slowed down, holding the chair next to her to calm herself down. You turned around for whatever reason and saw her there, looking like she ran a marathon. "Baby? Are you okay?"

"I'm- I'm fine." She looked at you, breathless. You took your airpods off, worried. I mean, it was a common thing to see her waking up in the middle of the night; you knew she had nightmares all the time, probably everyday. You made her sit down, holding her head between your hands. "Tell me, what happened this time?"

"You were there... You were-" She didn't even had the guts to say it. She couldn't even think about you dying. "It felt so fucking real."

"I know, baby. I know." You soothed her, sitting in her lap and holding her in your arms. She felt a kiss on the top of her head, and your smell quickly invaded her nostrils; she finally was at peace now. "It was a bad dream, ok? Remember what I told you: These are only..."

"...Only dreams. You're right." She finished the sentence, looking at you, feeling finally at peace. You kissed her head again, getting out of your embrace.

"I'm gonna get you some water, baby."

"No... Stay with me." She whined, like a baby. You laughed and kissed her lips quickly.

"I'm literally 10 steps away from you. I think you can handle a couple of seconds without me, huh?" You answered, going to the fridge to grab her a water bottle. She looked straight at you, waiting for you to be done so she could finally hug you again. You handed her the water bottle and she promptly drank it; nightmares made her really thristy, for some reason. You were getting ready to sit on her lap again but your phone started ringing, making you go in its direction. "Who the fuck is calling me right now?"

You were intrigued, until you saw the number's id. It was your friend from college, Rachel. The two of you got very close ever since you moved to New York. And that bothered the shit out of Sam, mainly because you were talking to her all the time. Laughing with her, going to places with her. She should do all of this stuff with me, she thought.

"Let me guess... Rachel again?" Sam asked, kind of annoyed. The feeling she hated the most started to build up inside of her. She hated sharing.

"She's not that bad, baby. I get that she can be too much sometimes, but you really should give her a chance." You said before answering the phone. You were so naive, Sam thought. You were innocent to the point where you thought that the reason Sam hated her was because of her personality (rightfully so, because Rachel really could be unbearable sometimes). She could be the nicest, friendliest person in the entire world, and that wouldn't change a thing.

To Sam, she was competition. She was the enemy.

You turned away so you could talk to your friend more privately. It wasn't even something that important, probably just some late night movie session that Rachel was having on her own and she called to say how it was going. It was the love for movies that brought you two together; and also your shared hate of Van Helsing and the second triology of Star Wars.

Sam frowned and got up, going to the bathroom to wash her face a little bit. She was stressed. She was angry. This isn't how it was supposed to be.

Stupid. She's so stupid. She can't even wait until morning to call her? Fucking bitch.

She washed her face with a little bit of cold water, but when she was finished and looked herself in the mirror, she saw him again.

"She's so inconvinient, am I right?" He said, blood splattered all over his face and clothes. "Calling your girl at 3 AM, as if she didn't had anything better to do... As if she didn't had a girlfriend to take care of."

"Stop it." She said, quietly. She didn't wanted for you to know that Billy was back.

"Why do you let this happen, Sam? It isn't right. She's yours. Yet here you are, letting her waste your guys' time to talk with another chick. Oh, I thought you were better than that..."

"Please, shut up."

"You know what you need to do. This has gone way too far." He said, seriously. "You need to take her out of your way, Sam."

"I'm not gonna do shit." She took a deep breath, remembering all of the things you said to her when she was anxious, but this time they weren't helping.

"But you should. She's gonna take your girl away. Are you gonna let that happen, Sam? That's not how we do stuff."

"I'm not like you..."

"Don't be like me, then. Be better. Sneak away in the middle of the night."

"Stop."

"Grab your knife with you. Tie your hair in a ponytail."

"Please, stop."

"Slice her wrists and make it look like a suicide."

"Please..."

"Wear the mask, Sam."

"STOP!" She yelled, and looked up. Billy was gone.

"I'll call you later, Rach." You turned off your phone and ran into the bathroom, where you found Sam crying in front of the sink. You took the girl into your arms and caressed her hair softly.  "Baby, I'm so sorry... You're gonna be alright, okay?" Sam nodded in your arms, still crying. She was scared of herself. Scared of him coming back. Scared that this plan would, maybe, come true one day.

And the worst part about all of this is the fact it seemed like a very good idea.

--

It was eating her alive. Everytime you grabbed your phone to talk to her, everytime she called. Or worse, when you invited her over to watch some stupid sci-fi movies. She could do all that shit with me. She should do all that shit with me. That was all she was thinking when she was on her way to her therapist (which, surprisingly, didn't leave when Sam opened up about her feelings). It didn't take long for her to get to the therapist's office; that was something Sam loved about NYC. She would just take the subway and go pretty much everywhere in the city.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this." She said to her doctor, whose name she didn't even bothered to remember at the moment. Other than being a shrink, he was also a psychiatrist, and to Sam, it meant that his hobby was to fill her up with meds she didn't need.

"Doing what, Sam?" The man asked. He was a nice guy, Sam thought. Mid 50s, a velvety type of voice, and was one of the few people in the world that actually listened to her.

"Sharing her. I just, I can't. It's too much."

"She's not your possession, Sam. You know that, I know that." No. He was wrong. You were hers.

"I know." She lied. "But still. It bothers me."

"And how it makes you feel, exactly?"

"Like I'm about to die. Everytime she's not with me. Everytime she spends time with another person, I wished I was dead." Another lie. She didn't wanted to die, she wanted to kill. And deep down, she knew it. She knew Billy was right; it was her instinct. But she couldn't let them take over. She had to be good. For you, and you only.

"She's a grown woman. Don't you think she is allowed to have her own life?"

"I know that. But she could do all that stuff with me. I'm capable of making her laugh, watch some stupid movies with her, or take her to fucking Madison Square Garden or some shit. I'm enough. I'm all what she needs." She said that last part in a whisper. The doctor wrote some things down, before looking at her again.

"How are the meds going, Sam?" She took a deep breath, relaxing in the chair.

"They suck. But I'm still taking them." The therapist smiled.

"That's the spirit." He wrote another thing down. "I know they can be a little bit hard on your body, but you know they help. Are you still having hallucinations?"

"Sometimes. Not like in the past, but still." She looked at the ceiling, unable to make eye contact with the man. It was a tough topic.

"When do you have them, mostly?"

"When I'm angry, or alone." The doctor nodded, making Sam confused. "Why is that?"

"These are the moments that you feel the most vulnerable, and unfortunately that's how this works; it attacks you when it knows that it can get to you." He said, without even using the term that Sam feared the most. "You can't let that happen, Sam. When you feel angry, or when you're alone, try your best to not listen to it. To not listen to him. If it gets really bad I could prescribe you something, but-"

"No. No more meds." Sam interrupted him. "I can handle it."

He nodded. The consult ended quickly, and Sam was already roaming New York City's streets after a couple of minutes. She needed to forget about all of this, in a healthy way. She promised you and Tara to stop drinking, so the only solution she had to forget about all of her shit was to walk.

She grabbed her phone, hoping you'd had texted her. Nothing. Why she wouldn text me? She always texts me after my consult. Sam thought for a second. Opened Instagram, trying to see if you posted anything. She clicked on your stories. Her heart sank to her stomach, seeing a picture of you and Rachel. Of course she was with Rachel. Stupid, fucking Rachel. She didn't even knew you were gonna be with her tonight.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be busy tonight?"

You didn't take long to respond. "I thought I told you, baby. I'm just watching some tv shows with Rach."

Just reading her name made Sam feel nauseous. Rachel. Such an ugly name.

Sam responded your text lovingly, but feeling the opposite inside. All of that anger and fury came back to her. And that was only one thing in her mind right now.

--

Sam waited. 30 minutes, 1 hour. 2 hours. Nothing. You got home after 3 hours of waiting, which made Sam freaking pissed. She was supposed to be with me.

"Hey baby, I'm home! Sorry I took too long..." You got into the apartment, and Sam gave you a fake smile. You walked to te couch, where she was sitting, and sat on her lap, kissing her entire face dozens of times. "I'm sorry, okay? I know that friday's are our nights, but I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"It's fine, baby. Don't worry."

It wasn't fine. Sam wasn't really proud of what she did next, but it was the only solution she could think at the moment. She put a few drops of some allergy meds in your water, to make you sleepy; which happened in about 30 minutes. You both were cuddling while watching some stupid reality show, when you fell asleep. It was te perfect oportunity; Tara was at Chad's dorm, Quinn was at some hookup's place. It was just the two of you. She would be back before you woke up.

Sam changed her clothing. Put on the most generic outfit she could find, nothing special. Grabbed a hair tie. Put a surgical mask on, along with some reading glasses. She felt like fucking Clark Kent. She put some stuff in her backpack and made her way into the streets. She was calm. You wouldn't find out. Never.

Sam was a smart girl, she did her research. She knew Rachel's address by memory, and with a little internet help, she also found out that Rachel was freaking depressed. Damn, how can this be so easy? Thankfully, Rachel lived in a small house right near Brooklyn. It was late at night, no one was walking the streets except for Sam. The whole way there, she felt anxious, but in the best fucking way possible. Sam never felt this good before, only when she was with you. She always felt happy with you.

It didn't took that long for Sam to get there. Sam tied her hair, looking at the girls body right at the window. She was hidden behind a car, which made it easier for her to change into the outfit she brought. A ghostface's outfit.

"Put on the mask, Sam." She heard Billy's voice in her head, making her shiver. "Listen to me this time."

And she did.

Sam entered the house with no difficulty, the girl lived by herself and had a poor security system. She got inside, and did what she was yearning to do for days.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" The girl asked, after Sam revealed herself. She wanted Rachel to ser her, she wanted for her to know who was her killer.

"I'm here to gut you, Rachel."

Sam took the girl down, immobilizing her. Putting all her body weight on the top of hers. She tried to fight back but it was useless, Sam was stronger.

With a razor, she slit both of the girls wrists vertically.

The blood splattered all over the floor, all over Sam's body.

She felt a rush of dopamine immediately. It felt so fucking good. Seeing her life fade away right in front of her. Now (Y/N) would spend all of her time with me.

Sam spent some 10 minutes just looking at the girls dead body, like if it was a piece of art. She took a deep breath, grabbing a wooden pick she brought with her to clean under Rachel's nails, trying to erase each and every bit of Sam's dna that could potentially frame her. She knew it wouldn't have any, but still.

Sam got up, went to the girls computer. Wrote a suicide letter. It was pretty convincible, to be honest.

Before leaving, Sam looked at her lifelesss body one last time, her mouth watering at the sight. Right next to her, was Billy, looking pleased.

"Good job, Sam. I'm proud of you, kid." Sam took a deep breath. "No one is taking your girl away now."

⠀

tags: @laenordeservedbetter @attaccadq

#scream #scream vi #melissa barrera #sam carpenter x reader #melissa barrera x reader #sam carpenter #sam carpenter smut #melissa barrera smut #ghostface!sam #ghostface #ghostface!sam x reader

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·

Thirty: The World Of Being An Idol

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

Y/N stared at her phone and sighed. She tossed it on the bed as she sat on the edge with a worried face. Today was the interview and she knew it needed to be done but now that the day has come, it's scary. The whole world knows about her and they keep asking about her. She saw the tweets that were accusing her of using Jungkook to meet the girl groups she loved and how she wasn’t in love with him. She knows the truth and that's all that matters but it still made her feel so small. Jungkook opened the door and frowned when he saw her looking at the floor with a blank expression. He slowly walked up to her and sat next to her. She looked up and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Are you okay, babe?” 

“I’m not sure. I think I’m just nervous....I saw what people were saying about me.”

He glanced at her phone and then back at her, “Don’t listen to them. They don’t know about us.” 

“I know...it just hurts.” 

“Ignore them. I know it's easier said than done but I’ll be here for you.” 

She looked up at him and nodded his head, “Do you think they will accept me?” 

“The real fans will. I love you and only you. If they support me then they will love you. If not for you, I wouldn’t sing and if not for you, I would be in hell. You’re my ending and my beginning. My wife. We will get through this together, no matter what.” 

He pushed some hair away from her forehead as she let a tear escape, “I love you, Jeongguk.”

“I love you, Y/N. Let’s go before it gets darker.”

“Okay.” 

She stood up and glanced at the mirror with a worried look. She looked at Jungkook with a frown, “Is this okay?” She was wearing a simple black dress that showed off her shoulder and around her neck was the necklace that Jungkook gifted her for Christmas. She looked beautiful in his eyes.

Of course, he was matching her and leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead, “You look perfect.” 

“Do I?” 

“Always.” 

The car ride there happened so fast that Y/N couldn’t even process anything. She didn’t even realize she was at Bighit’s building until Jungkook rubbed her thigh, “Babe, we're here.” 

She looked away from the window and nodded her head, “Okay...we’re not doing pictures right? Like no photoshoot?” 

“No, photoshoot. It’s just going to be us talking. It’s going to be a video but it's not going to show your face and in the magazine we have. That’s it.” 

“Is my face going to blur out?” 

“It’s just going to be our voices like how you wanted. Don’t worry I made sure they followed your requests. No surprises.” 

She nodded her head and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips, “Okay, thank you for everything.” 

“Anything for you babe.” 

The hallways were quiet and the only sound that was heard was their shoes echoing. She held onto Jungkook’s arm tight as they made their way. They stood in front of the door and he glanced down at her, “Are you ready?” 

“Yeah...are you? You're going to get asked so many questions now because of me.” 

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead, “I’m okay with that. I can talk about my wife to the whole world.” 

“Are you going to tell them that-”

“Yeah, I'm not hiding anymore.” 

The door opened and one of the Bighit staff smiled at them, “Are you guys ready?” 

“Yes.” They both answered at the same time causing them to look at each other with a smile. They walked into the room and her nerves disappeared when she saw the room semi empty. It made her feel better. They sat down as Jungkook placed his hand on top of hers, rubbing her knuckles gently. 

The interviewer smiled at them as he settled in, “Hello, my name is Park Minho and I will be doing this interview. Thank you for trusting me to do this interview.” 

Jungkook smiled at him and nodded his head, “Thank you for coming.” 

Y/N smiled and looked down at the table, “Thank you for taking the time out to do this.”

Minho smiled at them and took out the equipment. She placed the headphones on her ears as she looked at Jungkook who was giving her an encouraging smile. Minho opened his notebook and rubbed his hands together, “Alright, my name is Park Minho and I’m happy to say I am interviewing Jungkook and Y/N. Y/N, this is your first time coming forward and I’m sure it was scary for you. How is everything settling in?” 

She swallowed some spit and moved forward to the microphone, “I-It was nerve-wracking. I’m just a normal person and there’s nothing really special about me.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and leaned forward, “She’s extraordinary.” 

“Jungkook...stop.” 

Minho let out a small laugh, “You guys have been together for a couple of years now. How would you explain your love story?” 

Jungkook glanced at Y/N with a soft smile, “Fate. Meeting her changed my life and I’m so faithful that I met her. She’s the greatest thing that has happened to me.” 

Y/N felt her face get hot and she nodded her head, “I would say fate too. Honestly, it was meant to be because I got his photocard...I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“No one introduced you two? You guys just met by accident?” 

“Yeah, I was shocked when I met him. I was extremely shy and I kept to myself. He actually came up to me.”

Jungkook let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I was curious about her. She was so shy that I had to try to talk to her. Even if she pushed me away, I wanted to try at least.”

“You were determined, weren’t you?” 

“Of course I was. I heard bells the moment I saw her.” 

“Kook, stop.” 

Minho turned the page and glanced at Y/N, “In your note that you posted, you mentioned that you've been through a roller coaster. If you're comfortable enough, can you touch on that?” 

She nodded her head and looked over at Jungkook who gave her a small smile. She glanced at Minho with a frown, “I saw the rumors on Twitter. It actually made me sick because some of the things were true and it was scary to see that someone knew it that wasn’t in my inner circle. On top of the rumors, I was getting stalked and harassed in my real life. It was too much and...I had to go back to my mom in America. I never felt so...scared.” 

“I would be scared if someone knew things about me. I’m sorry you went through that. Is this the main reason why you wanted to come forward?” 

“Yes...I had to be one step ahead of them somehow. I also wanted everyone to know that I love Jungkook with all my heart and I’m not hiding anymore...well hiding my face because I’m not ready for my face to be known. Still nervous about people.” 

Minho nodded his head and glanced at Jungkook, “I saw that you posted on Weverse about everything. Did you feel good to post about it?”

“It felt good to let everyone know that I won’t stay quiet on this matter. When it comes to Y/N’s safety, I will do anything. It was a big moment for us.” 

“I saw that you kept talking about your future. What are your plans for the future?” 

The couple glanced at each other and Y/N nodded her head. Jungkook turned towards Minho with a wide grin, “Y/N, is my fiance. We’re planning on getting married.” 

“Oh wow!? Congrats! Is this the first time you're announcing it?” 

Y/N glanced down at her ring and nodded her head, “Yeah...it’s kind of crazy to do it where the whole world can know it. It felt nice to be so open now.”

The rest of the interview was really easy and it felt second nature for the couple. When everything was done, Y/N was mentally tired. Jungkook smiled down at her, who was leaning her head against his arm. They were on the roof of the building wanting fresh air before heading home. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling okay. It feels weird to have everyone know that I’m your fiance.” 

“They need to know. I’m so proud of you.”

She glanced up at him and smiled, “I couldn’t do without your strength.” 

“Can I take a picture?” 

She raised her eyebrow, “For what?”

“I just wanted to show us off and after that interview, I want to show everyone my love for you.” 

She rolled her eyes, “They’re going to be sick at the way you talk.”

“I love you and I don’t care. Just one picture.”

“Fine. After that, can we go home? I miss Bam.”

Jungkook set his phone up and glanced at her with a small glare, “Your fiance is right here but you miss him?”

“I miss our son...I also want cuddles with soba.” 

“Whatever my wife wants. Now picture.” 

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·

Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

#bts reactions #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts jungkook #bts namjoon #bts seokjin #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts x reader #bts hosoek #Bts #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fanfction #bts fic #bts social media au #his fan girl

[kadextra]

LETS GO rambling and analysis time now that I finished part one

MAJOR MAJOR spoilers under the cut

KAI

NOOOOO how is he gonna get out??? I will say him as the first to use rising dragon felt extremely deserved, I clapped and cheered during that fight scene. but now he’s stuck in the netherworld with the remaining forbidden five and that’s scary.

teared up seeing Nya activate her rising dragon style in her grief for him. in the next part she’s gonna find out Jay forgot who she is too… so much heartache for Nya 😞

really enjoyed Bonzle in these episodes as well, learning about her origin of being a spell, her journey of discovering herself as a person and finding a found family :’) at least she’s with Kai now….

and I’ve felt terrible for Lloyd every episode. him getting slammed by those visions constantly, unexpectedly, even in the middle of a fight which sends him spiraling, that’s so rough :((

It’s obvious they’re a representation of panic attacks/he has developed a canon panic disorder- like Lloyd literally says it at one point. they happen suddenly, give anxious fear about present and future events, he gets scared about having another one so he tries to cope by not sleeping (unhealthy coping method) and is taught later on to try accepting the feelings and ride it out which is a way irl therapists teach. good to see some more exploration of mental health in this show!! I’m glad the other characters are taking notice and trying to help too in the ways they can

speaking of mental health, Arin has been interesting to watch. he’s reading to me more as an autistic-coded character lately (like that line about not understanding social cues???) and we’ve been seeing lots more negative self-esteem issues and insecurity from him. watching him make mistakes during the training sessions, get scolded, then close himself off was hard to listen to

how Sora decided to hide the truth about Arin’s “spinjitzu move” that saved the day at the end so he would feel proud of himself for achieving something hurt my heart- she is such a sweet friend who wants her bestie to be happy but like. keeping secrets is gonna have consequences down the line... and moreso it’s just painful to see how deeply Arin’s self-worth is tied to what he’s capable of doing, what he can do for the team. he’s already insecure how would he feel to find out ppl are lying so he can be happy? he’s a string that’s gonna snap one day and judging from that beatdown moment with Lord Ras it’s not going to be pretty, I sense some sort of villain arc approaching for our son

someone send these people to therapy they’re so traumatized

in another news: Cole and Geo gay love! homosexuals! maybe a QPR! I don’t care whatever it is, it’s clear they love each other

it wouldn’t be a ninjago season without the destiny’s bounty crashing and burning <333 and it was nice seeing Jay for 10 seconds again <3333

now my current question is what’s the source dragon tournament thing Lord Ras’ master is talking about??? tournament?? 👀 it’s basically implied that master is a source dragon or a being that rivals their power

can’t wait for the next part to release agugugsjkhkdbqjdpgsiduggjneosgktnalfhdiqkwkfjfialwkg

#ninjago #ninjago spoilers #ninjago analysis #ninjago dragons rising

[dragonofeternal]

Sometimes I just... think about how Razlo is the "younger" of him and Livio.

Razlo, the Tri-Punisher of Death, the scary boogeyman we get introduced to with badass fights and copious carnage. Razlo, the scared, defensive other self there to take the brunt of the abuse Livio endured as a kid.

Razlo. The Younger of the two of them.

Like obviously that's a thing that can happen with dissociative identity disorder, like alters are frequently "different" so him being younger, especially since he stems from specifically a childhood based trauma makes sense. But I just. I dunno. The fact that he's sort of a defensive side of Livio, one that's there to pop up when shit hits the fan and things have to get bad, despite being "younger" just gives me a lot of feelings????

Maybe it's just his wide-eyed expression and general over-the-top emotions, but he does legitimately come of as younger than Livio, both visually and temperament wise. Livio's frustrated and angry at Wolfwood, he feels betrayed and resigned to having to kill his friend. His face gets SO MANY LINES to show how fucking haggard and tired of this shit he feels. Meanwhile Razlo is feeling the full, excited, almost carefree 8D of LET'S FUCKIN' GOOOOOO to fight someone powerful, to impress Master Chapel, to prove his strength! Razlo's face is drawn with fewer lines most of the times, he grins more easily, his face, even thought it's the same face just feels... IDK. Even after Livio joins the good guys and stops looking quite so haggard and miserable, Livio and Razlo still visually read very differently!

And like. I dunno, I think it puts some of the stuff with him and Chapel in an interesting/more sad light as well. Where like. We know that Chapel really stuck his neck out to save Razlo/take him under his wing, and Razlo returned that faith and familial love fully! He completely trusts Chapel, and so it breaks him when he thinks Chapel has died. And then it breaks him ALL OVER AGAIN when he sees that Chapel was willing to kill him to get to Wolfwood!!!!!!

I don't have any sort of grand thesis here. Just a lot of feels and me holding up Razlo going LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT THIS GOOD BOY HE'S DOING HIS BEST.

(All caps are from @trigun-manga-overhaul)

#trigun #trimax #trigun maximum #razlo the tri-punisher of death #livio the double fang #livio the doublefang #razlo the trip of death #doemeta #this isn't really meta it's mostly just me throwing trimax caps at people and crying a lot about Razlo #but shhhhh I'm trying to keep my like 'thoughts about stuff' more organized and not just lost to the depths of my blog

[pumpkzsafeplace]

baby pumpkin tips: tackling public transport

whether you suffer with autism, bad anxiety or just hate public transportation in general, we can all agree how terrifying it can be sometimes. hopefully these tips can help it seem a little less scary <3.

-> know what you’re getting into.

planning ahead and mentally preparing yourself for the surroundings you’ll encounter can save a lot of anxiety. of course, you may still be anxious the whole experience but having that bit of control of knowing what transport your taking and how long the journey is can help a lot! 🚆.

-> plan comfy.

going out in public is terrifying at the best of times, especially when you think everyone’s eyes are on you 24/7. which is why my golden rule for transport is to dress in comfortable clothes, you’re average everyday gear. don’t pick the already stress-induced days to experiment as it’ll just make the anxiety and stuff worse, i promise you <3👚

-> noise cancelling headphones.

i don’t know if these help any other disorders, but they’re a huge help if you have autism or anxiety. simply, plan out a playlist for the journey and pop on your headphone to help block out the overwhelming noise. my daddy usually pops them as soon as we leave the house to give me some time to get used to them <3 🎧.

-> distracting apps.

distracting apps can also be a huge help to sort of numb your brain & stop you from overthinking and analysing- if that makes sense, teheh <3 i have a bunch of different apps & games that i use to help!

i would advise to stay away from the cute games- you don’t want to regress in a scary environment <3

go-to apps! :

-> tiktok

-> tumblr

-> pinterest.

go-to games!

-> solitaire games

-> pet buddies!

-> a fidget an anxiety app

-> schedule up some videos.

if the apps & games don’t work, you can distract yourself by watching some youtube videos! or downloading a couple of episodes of your favourite show on netflix and letting yourself sink into the story on the journey! 📱.

-> treats n snacks.

treats & snacks are a must for a long journey! i usually don’t like making a lot of noise on public transport- so my go to snacks are usually: a bottle of drink (like coke, sprite or water), small bag of chocolate or a small bag of sweeties that i can hide in my pockets or bag <3.

-> be proud of the baby steps.

this is the most important step!

please be proud of the baby steps. going outside and attempting to exists like ‘normal people’ is incredibly hard. even if you manage a small amount of time without having a meltdown- then that’s progress! that’s super good!

this journey is a marathon, not a sprint! take baby steps and go at your pace. your mentality and health is more important than anything else, remember that <3

i hope these helped! i’m actually travelling soon myself so i’m sorta giving tips to myself, hehe! if you’re also travelling anytime soon- i made a little travel playlist that you can vibe to if you like my taste in music :3

anywho, have a lovely day! <3

#agere blog #age regression #agere community #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw little community #sfw little blog #sfw little post #agere little #age regressor #agere lifestyle #agere caregiver #agere #age dreaming #age re blog #age re safe space #age regressive #agere positivity #agere post #sfw interaction only #agere sfw #sfw furry #sfw caregiver #sfw blog #agere advice #sfw regression #sfw little stuff #sfw littlespace #sfw little friends

[littledollll]

🕊️

Prompt~ so maybe r has some form of an eating disorder and lucifer finds out when god gifted him R. So they try to encourage R to eat and celebrate the small wins. So when R willingly asks lucifer for more of a food (idk cookies?) so they were given 3 but they ask for 4. So lucifer says they can have 5 showing r they can have as many as wanted But r only wants 4. Lucifer is like amazingly proud of their r and gives them lots of love if you can use lucifers wings then bonus point~ shy anon

Comfort in hell

Lucifer Morningstar x little!angel!reader

A/n: It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these! A little too long!

Warnings: Mentions of possible ed, hell being scary, shy reader, soft Lucifer

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Of course Lucifer knew better than to just expect you to be okay. Hell was purposefully a scary place, there’s no way around it but something about how tense, scared you constantly looked made them want to provide at least some type of comfort.

You were an angel, one forced out of heaven simply because The Creator wanted you gone, you don’t even know why, you were confused and hurt. Not to mention utterly terrified of hell.

It wasn’t Lucifer you feared, they nursed your back to health and had been nothing but caring after all. It was just everything around you, the constant noise, the smell that would be in the air the second you stepped out of the castle, the constant fighting and screams.

You usually kept to yourself and Lucifer was patient to give you the space you wanted and needed, but you couldn’t be terrified forever, at some point you’d have to get used to the new environment. Though this was something you got acclimated to slowly, with their help of course.

Every so often you’d leave your little hideaway and silently join Lucifer’s side, it could get quite lonely there, and being around them seemed to make all the chaos go away, they took no issue with it, infact encouraged you do it more often.

Sometimes you’d come running and crash into them, the way from your hideout to them felt scary and you wanted nothing more than to be next to them, where it was safe again. Lucifer would wordlessly pick you up and hide you in their arms, continuing whatever they were doing as if you didn’t run out of nowhere. It became a normal occurrence and others quickly learned to stop questioning it.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

As you quietly sat with them at the table you shyly took their hand, fidgeting with their fingers and sleeve, making Lucifer look at you with a reassuring smile. Zoning out came quite easy for you when you were around them which made meals and regularly more challenging tasks a lot easier.

Lucifer had noticed you rarely ate, and when you did it was sparingly and only when Lucifer reminded and joined you. So they did, every time it was time for food they’d go with you and get really anything, just to make you feel less alone.

You’d always feel more inclined to eat after they did, so it took Lucifer by surprise when you were first to grab what you wanted and ran to sit back with them, mindlessly munching on your food. They wouldn’t bring it up. You were happy in your own little world and that’s all Lucifer could ever ask for.

Then came time for desert and like always you grabbed 3 cookies, it was like a personal rule you set for yourself, Lucifer had never seen you have more than 3, until today of course.

“One more?” Came your quiet voice as you looked up at them practically bouncing in excitement. Lucifer smiled your way before replying, “You can have as many as you’d like, even more than an one, little angel.” You shook your head. “Jus one!”

Lucifer handed you the one cookie and they wished they had snapped a picture as your face lit up when you grabbed it and ran off. They did note your sugar high and to be careful about it, but that only made you even more adorable so they’d let it slide at least for today.

Once you settled back at their side after running and playing around they wrapped you in their arms, hugging you tight. “I’m so proud of you little angel, you have no idea how much.”

You were blissfully unaware of where this all came from as you were a bit distracted, busy being fascinated by their wings as if you don’t get to see or feel them on a daily basis. But it was still nice to hear, it made you giddy and self assured.

“I did good?” Your tone was bright and happy, also relieved. You didn’t really know why you wanted to know you did good, but seeing Lucifer so happy with you made you happy as well.

“You did good. I’m so proud little angel, I couldn’t be happier.”

#lucifer sandman #the sandman #sandman agere #cg!lucifer sandman #gwendoline christie #sandman lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar the sandman #little angel (lucifer x little!reader) #sandman lucifer morningstar x reader #the sandman lucifer morningstar x reader #the sandman lucifer #lucifer morningstar (the sandman) x reader #sandman lucifer #little angel #Little angel (Lucifer x little!angel!reader)

[i-just-wanna-write-fanfic]

YAN ALPHABET MIKE+ALTERS (minus Chester cuss I dunno how to write for him qnq)

part one, MIKE

WARNINGS: YANDERE KINDS OF STUFFS, STALKING, POSSEVINESS, KIDNAPPING, OBBSESIVNESS, MURDER, VIOLENCE, FORCED LOVE, MIKE DOESN'T LOVE ZOEY.

type: obsessive, delusional.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Mike just love, love, LOVES you! he shows his love in many ways! whether it's words of love, physical affection, or acts of service, he will do basically anything to show you much he cares!

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

oh, Mike could never bring himself to KILL someone! maybe just some scary glares or threats will scare them away...

but if that doesn't work... he'll have to resort to more... DRASTIC measures...

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

he wouldn't let you out of his sight once he has you right where he wants you! (with him ofc <3)

he would never mock you! he loves you too much to do that...

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

nope.

well, except for cuddles, unless he notices that you're uncombable, in that case, he'll get off of you.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

he'll answer any question you ask him! he doesn't have anything to hide!

well, he is a bit scared to tell you about his... well... disorder, but he's sure you'll treat him the same nonetheless!!

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

sad and hurt.

what did he do wrong?

why are you trying to leave him?

please don't leave him...

he needs you so badly...

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

nope!

he takes this very seriously.

he hates it when you try to leave him.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

smothering and/or isolation.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

he hopes for you two to someday get married, and spend the rest of your lives together!

maybe even have kids! unless you don't want them, of course!

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

he very easily gets jealous. he sees you as the best thing in the world, something he can't live with! so when someone tries to talk to you, or even worse, touch you, or flirt with you, he becomes very jealous!

he usually becomes clingy when he's jealous.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

he's very lovey-dovey, and he constantly seeks out your love and attention.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

he couldn't for a while. he really couldn't. whenever he did, he felt like throwing up.

but he would leave you "love letters", whether they were actual letters, or weird messages on your mirror or walls, that you'd have to clean up, taking a shower after to get rid of the weird feeling you just couldn't shake off.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

nope! he's just more lovey-dovey and annoying around you. maybe a bit more touchy too.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

smothering or isolation.

he much more prefers smothering

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

bye-bye, freedom and privacy!

you need to be with him at ALL times.

and he usually finds out any secrets you're hiding from him pretty quickly.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

very patient! he will wait however long he needs to for you to get something right! he might get a bit agitated if you take too long, but he knows you'll get it sooner or later!

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

death: he would never be able to move on. he would constantly grieve, and cry. in the beginning, he didn't want to believe you ACTUALLY DIED. he kept on shaking you, just hoping you were just playing around with him or sleeping!

leaves: not happening.

escapes: he's on you 24/7, so idk how u did that lol- anyways- he would be looking for you most of the time, so stay on your toes.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

only slightly.

but that doesn't mean he's letting you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

everything about you was and is so perfect... he needed you... he couldn't be lonely any longer, he just needed you...

might have been mal seeping through the cracks.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

he feels horrible...

if it was because of him, he'll give you some space, but if it was because of someone else, he won't kill them, but they'll be missing for quite a while...

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

his DID, and general innocence about the world.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

his emotions.

he is quite emotional around you, so you could probably manipulate him emotionally to get him off your case long enough to let you escape/manipulate him to set you free. but that won't last too long.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

no.

never.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he loves you so much... he practically worships you.

your birthday for him is like the coming of Jesus, and any day spent with you is the best day ever!

everything about you is perfect, the pace at which you breathe, how you walk, your voice, everything!

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

a week or two.

once he can be close to you without needing to hurl due to too many butterflies, he's taking you away to live with him!!! <3

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

N O .

#tdi #tdi mike #yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere mike #headcanon #total drama #total drama x reader #total drama mike #total drama mike x reader #tdi mike x reader

[starryevermore]

hide and seek ✧ steven grant & marc spector

angst city™ library | send in a request (consult request faqs first)

request: I had a writing idea for steven/Marc. I more or less live in a fanfic fantasy most of the time and I been wondering. What if the reader had been dating steven, knows about his alters but haven't met them, and one night. You're sleeping at his place and you just see moonknight himself walk in the door before changing back to Marc. And not only is that the first meeting marc but the reader is terrified bc scary masked man is actually boyfriend? And I am at a loss of what would happen in the hours and days after seeing that. I found you on wattpad and love your work - valatheapprentice 

pairing: steven grant x fem!reader x marc spector

summary: you have yet to meet steven’s other half, but when you see him on accident after coming home from a mission, you realize you can’t keep this game up anymore. 

word count: 1,110

warnings?: pet name (love), not proofread

It wasn’t often that you stayed over at Steven’s flat. While Steven had learned that his sleeping disorder was actually DID and the reason he’d wake up with days completely missing was because Marc had been fronting, he was still nervous about you being there. Marc knew of you, and he knew you were dating Steven. But you had never met him. Steven worried about what might happen if you and him went to sleep together and you woke up in Marc’s arms. Would you freak out? Would he? Would it be a complete recipe for disaster? Whatever it would end up being, you and Steven decided to keep you staying over to a minimum until you and Marc were introduced and at least comfortable enough for the morning awkwardness. 

This weekend, however, had been an exception. Marc had apparently promised Steven that he wouldn’t front for the entire weekend, letting Steven have some much needed time with you. And it had been completely lovely. You and Steven went to a new restaurant that had opened up nearby. You watched cheesy romance movies. You snuggled up on the couch as Steven read. You had the most amazing sex before falling asleep in his arms. 

But now…Now it was weird.

It was one in the morning when you woke up to a half-empty bed. Steven was nowhere to be found. Shit. As you looked around, trying to find any sign of where he might of been, you realized the two of you fucked up by not making Khonshu promise to leave the two of you alone. Fuck that stupid pigeon. 

You let out a sigh, stumbling to the kitchen. Well, you weren’t going to go back to sleep so easily. You were to pissed at the pigeon to go back to sleep. Might as well make yourself a snack or something, maybe tune into some cheesy show. So, you made yourself a sandwich, sank into the couch cushions, and turned on Gilmore Girls.

Halfway into Paris’s meltdown from not getting into Harvard, the door creaked open. You were immediately on your feet, ready to take Steven into your arms, kiss him better from the stupid shit Khonshu put him through. But the man in front of you…That was not Steven. Steven wore the white suit, not the armor that looked like it had been wrapped in mummy bandages. 

“Shit.”

The mask melted away, revealing the face you were oh so familiar with but just a slight bit different. Marc’s face was tenser, like he was holding everything back. It was so strange to see the man you loved look so different, act so different. 

“Marc?”

“Love?” The armor melted away, and Marc went with it. Steven stumbled forward, taking you in his arms. “I’m so sorry. Khonshu needed us, and Marc was better for the mission, and I didn’t think you would wake up before we got back and I’m so sorry—”

“Shh, it’s okay. Let’s just go back to bed, okay?”

You didn’t see Marc again for a week. You didn’t hear from him, either. It was strange. Even though you’d never formally met the guy, Steven usually kept you updated on how Marc was doing. Now, it was like it was before, when neither you nor Steven had any idea Marc ever existed. 

When you tried to breach the topic with Steven, he would stammer and stumble over his words until he redirected the conversation to how big of a bitch Donna is or how he found this new book he was dying to read or literally any other topic of conversation that didn’t involve Marc. 

At this point, it was pissing you off. Why were they acting like this? Why was Marc avoiding you? Before, you understood. You had never really met him, and he wanted to give you time with Steven. But now, now you had seen him, spoke to him. How could he keep hiding? You didn’t have to see the guy everyday. You just wanted to have a conversation with him, clear the air and all that. And why was Steven aiding Marc in his hiding? Steven had always been gung ho about the two of you eventually meeting. Now that you kind of sort of had met, he was helping Marc run away? What the fuck was up with that? 

You decided the only course of action was to surprise them, to catch them off guard. So, you went to Steven’s flat when you figured that Marc might be fronting. And, oh, you were right. 

“Uhh—” Marc stammered when he opened the door to see you. 

“Don’t go,” you said. “I just wanna talk about what happened the other night.”

Marc swallowed hard but nodded, letting you into the flat. You went to sit on the couch, Marc taking a seat on the other end. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“I just wanted to finally talk to you. I mean, you’re part of Steven. I fully want to spend the rest of my life with Steven. But I don’t know how this is gonna work if we never meet. I don’t expect us to be more than just acquaintances. We don’t have to be friends or anything like that. I just want us to be able to get along well enough for Steven’s sake, you know? Because that man adores you, and I know it hurts him for us to keep avoiding this.”

Marc sucked in a breath. “I don’t wanna keep hurting Steven, either. I just…I didn’t know how to talk to you.”

You frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Steven, he loves you so much. He thinks you hung all the stars in the sky. And I…I was terrified that I was going to screw things up for Steven if I ever, you know, tried to talk to you. I couldn’t do that to him. Not when he loves you so much.” Marc looked away. “All I’ve wanted for him is the best, and I know you’re the best woman he ever could be with. If I was the one who ruined that for him, I’d never forgive myself.”

You scooted closer, reaching out and grabbing his hand, giving it a squeeze. “You couldn’t scare me away even if you tried.” 

“Not even showing up in the middle of the night in Khonshu’s ceremonial armor?”

“Not even then.” You gave his hand another squeeze. “Now, how about we order some pizza, put something on the TV, and just try to get to know each other, okay? No running, no hiding.”

Marc smiled ever so slightly. “That’d be great.”

#steven grant imagine #steven grant x reader #steven grant x fem!reader #steven grant x female reader #steven grant x you #steven grant x y/n #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant fanfic #steven grant fan fiction #steven grant fan fic #steven grant fic #marc spector imagine #marc spector x reader #marc spector x fem!reader #marc spector x female reader #marc spector x you #marc spector x y/n #marc spector fanfiction #marc spector fanfic #marc spector fan fiction #marc spector fan fic #marc spector fic #starrywrites #starryevermore

[bittcnneck]

NEW MUSE! WARNING‼️‼️:sexual assult, pedophilia, Eating disorder, animal abuse, child abuse, cannibalism, human organs and stalking is mentioned in this characters introduction story. Be warned.

also, spoilers for Laceys flash games. I Went into detail because they all play a part in her personality and backstory.

ᵠHow do I meet the strangest men?

They always seem to find me...

Remember that time way back when I...

Kissed a guy who 🅐︎🅣︎🅔︎ his women friends...

Now only dogs will follow me..

..ƃuᴉʍolloɟ ǝɥ sᴉ...?ᵠ

name: Lacey Ghosttundra

age: 19

ethnicity: Brazillian

fandom: laceys flash games

Sexuality: hypersexual bisexual

occupation: Chef in her own restaurant

Personality: Lacey is a kind and sympathetic girl. She is very timid when meeting new people, and introverted at the start, but she can get quite extroverted as time goes on. Because of everything that happens to her, she has a very, very hard time trusting people. Especially men. She is unfortunately sort of.. sexist. She does not think women are better than men, she likes to believe in equality, but at the end of the day, men have always hurt her. She has been assaulted and lied to too many times to not have a negative view on them. If your muse is a girl, she is a lot more likely to trust them, as she feels safer. She loves physical touch, but can only let people she trusts show her affection in that way. Her love language is usually acts of service, as she loves making people proud. She is quite the people pleaser, she loves compliments, words of affirmation is the love language she likes to receive the most. She has a bad relationship with failure. She hates failing. She hates being a disappointment, as she often sees herself that way. She always tries to do her best. She often acts "silly" as a way to disguise everything that happened to her. She would hate to trauma dump or make her problem others problem. It is hard to get her to open up about her past. But she sees nightmares almost every night. She is very anxious and pessimistic, almost always assuming the worst, because the worst always happens to her. She over thinks quite often. But she is a very nice girl overall. She loves to help people and share her things. Despite being a chef and loving to cook, she has an eating disorder, which is why she is super skinny and fragile. She is very weak, and she often eats a meal once a day and spends rest of the day either snacking on something small or just starving.

story: Lacey has never had a good day in her life. Ever. And as the creator said, she never will. She has been physically abused her whole life by her family, and sexually abused by her uncle in a young age. There is not exactly a story about her. Or well, her backround. So I'm writing from what I have observed. In the game Laceys wardrobe, she has a stalker who watches her in picnic, watches her get dressed up after a creepy phone call, and also sends her a heart box full of human organs. Lacey begs the player to not make her go outside. Player has no choice but to do so. Lacey gets sexually assulted, chopped, then eaten by the stalker. In laceys diner, after you fail to make the food on time two times, in the third time.. things get scary. There are ingredients such as used condoms, cigarette butts, dead cockroaches, pornograhy, and also... her dead uncle. She force feeds them to the costumers. the diner closes due to health code violations. Next thing we see, lacey is lying dead on the street. And yes, she did it herself.

in laceys pet shop, things are a lot more complicated. She does WHATEVER. Her costumer wants, going as far as to cutting off a bunnys ears and tail because she was requested to do so. Some weird things happen, i'll skip a little. Next thing we see is a few pigs eating flowers. the pigs represent her family. the flowers? the fact that she got deflowered when she was so little. She sits in a cage. She talks about getting a cat. then images of a puppy pops up with the sentance "you can hurt me all you'd want but weren't allowed to take it from me", indicating her uncle killed her dog.

Lacey is immortal. At least, my version of her. It is sort of like Kenny from south park. There are 3 animations of Lacey, and all of them ends up in her death. But these deaths never get mentioned in other episodes. So my interpretation is: she is cursed by God. That is why everything terrible always happens to her. She can not die, and is forced to live through this terrible life. When she dies, she wakes up the next morning in her bed, as if it was all a dream. But even though she is immortal, she can still very well feel pain, and she often still feels what she felt when she died after waking up. Lasts a few minutes.

#lacey games #lacey's flash games #new muse pls welcome her #💙ᵠdon't you dare touch my body like you own it.ᵠ💙 {lacey}

[lifblogs]

2, 8, 28! 😊

I just want to start out by saying thank you. These are some questions I really need to think about right now. Life has been so hard, and these are just wonderful. Thank you for thinking of me, my friend.

2. What are some of the things that have made you who you are?

Guess that all starts with my identical twin @evilwriter37! I don't know what life without him would be like, I don't know what it's like to not be a twin. But I know he's been my best friend through times where I didn't even deserve him. Being a twin is just so intrinsically part of me that I wouldn't be me without him. (If you're wondering about the whole gender thing here, we're both trans. Well, he's trans, I'm agender. Which is technically trans, I just don't see myself as having that label.) My dad definitely made me into who I am. He made me a better person. He helped me with reading, he showed me The Lord of the Rings! Which goes into the next thing. The Lord of the Rings. Those movies have been so magical to me since I was 8 years old. I was inspired to be a musician, an actor, a writer, all because of those movies. They showed me what creativity and talent and skill can do, and I have worked at acting, and music, and writing. If anything, I'm a musician first. My clarinet certainly makes me who I am. I fell in love with the clarinet the first day I played it at 10 years old. I almost lost the ability to play due to an accident, but cut to 2 years later, and I was practicing for 4 hours a day. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Music is who I am. I used to love to sing, and compose. I can play music by ear and conduct. I miss my clarinet not being broken every single day. And you know what, DBT therapy has made me who I am. I have 2 personality disorders, and that therapy helped me so much. It helped me become the kind person I wanted to be, it helped me manage my own emotions better. It let me be a better person, a better version of me that was locked in there under all the pain and the mania and the sleepless nights. And last but not least, my baby boy has made me who I am. This sick little kitty chose me as his mama when I was 15 years old. I have no idea why, but he became part of me instantly. He needed so much specialized care, and I was there for him day and night. I'm still there for him day and night. Not a day goes by where I'm not thankful he's in my life. I'm part of him, and he's part of me. I couldn't imagine I'd be who I am without him.

8. Last thing you watched?

Avatar: The Last Airbender! It was so fun.

28. What about life makes you smile?

Seeing my brother laugh and smile, my baby boy, my kitty Alley (she's basically my sister!!), music, The Lord of the Rings, messaging my friends, hot chocolate, BOOKS, complimenting strangers and seeing them smile, holding my kitties, makeup, seeing how far I've come with writing this year despite having a brain injury. So, so many things. My life is so difficult and scary right now, and it is so hard holding on, but I do smile. I really do!

Again, thank you so much for this ask. I hope it makes you smile reading my responses.

#ask #elven-child #ask game #about me

[albatris]

I'm mixing up names and pronouns so sorry about that but can I please hear more about the vampire who thought they were hungry for someone's baking when they were really thirsty for blood 🥺that excerpt was so neat

:D yay I'm glad you liked it!! thank u for the kind words...!!

that's Nat! poor guy. he recently woke up on the side of the road covered in mud in his rental car with no memory of the past ten days... oh, and he's somehow turning into a vampire now! surprise!

so ya, he has no reason initially to suspect the mystery delicious scent he keeps smelling is human blood.... he doesn't know vampires exist let alone that he is one!! he's just broke n hungry n thinkin about sweet baked goods......

he's an anxious, awkward lad with a big heart and lots of feelings about things. he loves animals! especially cats! and in the story will soon come into possession of a very odd ugly scrungly rescue cat named Grub, who is the light of his life c: he's a vegetarian and an excellent cook, and shows his love for others by cooking their favourite dishes :3 he is incredibly smart and did well back in high school, but as an adult he's rather apathetic and unmotivated, n struggles with his self-esteem quite a bit 😔

Nat works (mostly) night shifts at dodgy petrol station chain Stop 'N' Go, where he takes naps on the clock and encourages shoplifting. he becomes a manager in book two purely by accident, but doesn't stick at it very long

he has schizotypal personality disorder too (like me!), which means he struggles a lot with paranoid ideation and social situations, as well as some mild psychosis. he struggles to make and keep friends, but he really does love people and being included in a friendship group, even if he's pretty nervous. his desperation for friendship often leads to him overextending himself though - kiddo will do almost anything to feel useful and liked :c

Nat's character arc mostly focuses on him learning his place in the world and becoming steadfast in his own values, and LEARNING what those values are n not letting himself get pushed around so much. he's an earnest, kind-hearted dude who wants to do good in the world, and he's trying to balance this with the fact that he now has to feed on human life to survive

he's also trying to solve the mystery of what happened during his ten day disappearance...... aaaand he might end up on a quest to kill and eat the centre of the giant vampire hivemind known as "the Garble" at some point. nbd <3

Nat's vampirism comes with a monster mode! it kicks in when he's extremely stressed or extremely hungry, and has rather too many mouths and eyes and claws. in this state, he is still able to recognise friends, but it takes him a lot more effort and concentration, and he's unable to understand unfamiliar humans or vampires as anything other than food, threats, or resources. it's a painful transformation and Nat really doesn't like going monster mode. it's very scary for him and can be very dangerous for others around him. his partner Quinn and his friends Alex and Zeke can usually calm him down though..... his other friend Yvonne will stay as far away from monster mode Nat as possible, thank you very much

Nat's preferred prey is abusive bosses and dirtbag CEOs and rich pricks, etc etc etc, all of which his own personal rich prick, Quinn, helps him track down and access. he is also not above eating particularly awful customers hahaha. like. if someone is screaming in his face for no reason or it's some creepy dude harassing one of his younger female co-workers, yeah, he might just go for a little spontaneous snack. can you blame him

so yeah! that's a lil about my boy Nat! he's the protagonist and main viewpoint character of "a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears", the horror trilogy I'm working on atm :D

#a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears

[ravenbloodshot]

Someone who gives me the same asshole vibe as Cha Eun Woo and Song Kang is Eunwoo's friend Kim Young Kwang (the actor) I really liked his drama and he is quite handsome but he looks like a sadist and super manipulative to me I'm not gonna lie? No matter how much I try I can't seem to get into him? He was also caught before whilst he was a model (when he was much much younger) talking about what he finds distasteful in women and he said really weird/sexist shit but it was childish af too, like he really didn't think before speaking but I like to give benefit of the doubt to the "youth" LMFAO (not really) but you know he's also Korean so I wasn't shocked, I said oh another one bites the dust 👏🏾☺️😋 Anyway there's something sweet about him (I'm probably reaching and trying to give him a compliment) but he really totally makes the hairs on back stand idk he gives me torturous type vibes? Maybe it's past life between me and him vibes LMFAO but I see evil, I know I'm not tripping, like the dark triad evil? Am I wrong? What energy do you feel from him, please let me know!! Like he looks like if he wasn't told right he'd hold people captivate or be that weird kid that's cruel to bugs? I wouldn't be surprised if he was a bully or humiliated people, especially women. Like you know the energy of a closeted man that hates on women? He looks like the type to say mean things in a joking manner and not even consider people "beneath" him? I feel he can be sweet but it is selective, like he may want something? Idk he feels fucking cold, like his eyes and his smile, no emotion etc I wouldn't be surprised if he has a disorder or something that makes him unemotional etc He's a major homebody too and he always acts uncomfortable in social situations etc, he probably is but maybe he really does has some disorder or something because he expresses that he wants to go home etc. Like I could see him being condescending like Song Kang and Cha Eun Woo too?

CEW always gives me the energy of misguided energy? Like if he were to be surrounded by good people who humbled him he could be okay? I always see some sentiment in him? He looks like people don't check him and out of all 3 he looks to me the most reflective, like if something happened it could give him a spiritual awakening etc and change his life. Like the type of guy that heals if he was loved right. CEW gives me I am a "twin" vibes, like he has a counterpart in this lifetime who's gonna have a profound effect on his life? He always looked like a redeemable soul to me? I don't know but the more he gets deeper into the industry and this cold, cruel, money driven environment he just gonna end up being unredeemable as well, in the deep end? Like he'll end up the worst out of the bunch? I hope he don't start doing drugs but he looks smart to me lol, I'll give him that much. The more I see actors/celebs the more coldness I see lol, some of them have really scary eyes.

It's hilarious to me that people found Song Kang cute, the mf gave me I'm bland and incompetent but have the audacity to be disgusted by you vibes. He generally looks like the type to sanitise his hands if he accidentally brushed past somebody he don't respect, he looks hella coddled too and a mamas boy. He literally admitted himself that he wore the same socks for months straight. He's probably the type that doesn't do the dishes or wash his clothes etc, like he young forever? I was shocked he was feeling Han So Hee LOL but she grown woman vibes and I think it's opposites attract. Her rough girl image, idgaf demeanour probably intrigued him. A part of him also looked like he was pretending, so people could talk about them, like he used her for a come up? He shot a show with that young pretty actress and the interviews (my demon) were a pain to watch. I could tell he found her stupid and you were RIGHT, he cannot hide his dissatisfaction well!! Like it was second hand embarrassment. He was also on another show with BP Jennie and he literally iced her lmfao, he didn't even look at her, he also pushed past another woman and was heavily disgusted by another older woman complimenting him, like how dare you compliment me when you not on my level? Like the type that wants people to ask for permission before they greet him? He called another woman by another name and said "that woman" and she was like "I am that woman, it's my name", as in he didn't even bother learning their names and she said to him don't you think it's too soon to speak casually (banmal/drop honorifics) and refer to me as "that" and that you should learn people's names etc. It baffles me how people give a pass to "handsome/pretty" people in the world and especially Korea? But more so handsome men because of sexism right? Like he was not careful of his behaviour at all but people thought he was "clueless" and cute. It's obvious when he thinks people aren't on his level etc and I think he's at a point where he generally believes he's made it, so he dgaf like yasss I don't need to kiss ass anymore, when he was simply just expected to be polite LOL 😂 I think it's a chore for him to treat people well, like he might think about the beneficial reason why he should give charity and help people? Like they broke, they can get up, I'm not, I work hard. Like simple minded? He's cut the nice act now and he said so himself, that he hates being perceived as cute and a little adorable boy but he masked himself as such and then complains? Probably because he finds his fans disgusting. I'm ngl he feels like that. I don't know lol! Don't mind me, I be popping out here and there and giving the lip and the tea LMFAO 🤣 I'll stop here! 💀

— Lip Service Girl 💄

Me and you must just be on the same wavelength. I think it's too much to say Kim Young Kwang has a disorder, but everything else, I agree.

Cha Eunwoo has the best energy out of the three. But he has his own bs that comes with him. He's not a bad guy, though, the other two .....🤷‍♀️

What sticks in my mind the most is Kim Young Kwangs' weird comments about women as well. Like it's okay to have preferences, but like damn....

[whumpsday]

got 5 numbers submitted for whumpify wrapped! i'm only gonna do one, and i'll let you pick :)

here's the songs from my last.fm corresponding to the numbers submitted, an excerpt from the lyrics of each, and the inspired idea i'd be writing if it wins:

#37: Skeleton Appreciation Day by Will Wood (content warning: this song is about eating disorders)

They say that beauty's just skin deep So naturally, please show me your Bones, bones, bones, let me see your bones

^ some good old-fashioned gore with an intimate whumper

#25: Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall

Everybody likes to get taken for turns To see how bright the fire inside of us burns And everybody wants to get evil tonight But all good devils masquerade under the light

^ something involving a demon whumper and a demon caretaker

#83: Heart of Glass by Blondie

Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind

^ conditioned pet whumpee in recovery dealing with accepting that whumper was bad for them

#42: See You at Your Funeral by PUP

I hope you're doing fine on your own 'Cause after everything we've been through You better hope you'll find someone And you'll try But you won't 'Cause after everything we've been through Oh baby, I wanna know

^ whumpee in recovery seeing whumper again after they've escaped

#77: i wanna be the moon by the scary jokes

But all of your love Your kisses and hugs Don't fix what's bugging me So I wanna be, I wanna be The moon

^ caretaker tries their best to help whumpee, but it doesn't work

further numbers won't be considered for fics, but if you wanna send 'em i'll lyk what song you get :)

#txt

[thequeenofsastiel]

I love the interaction in which Noey aggressively ordered Thi to eat, telling him every step he had to take to do that. Tim looked at him with complete disapproval, because from her point of view, Noey was being an abusive dick. But from a D/s point of view, Noey was doing exactly what he needed to do. Let me explain.

D/s relationships can be positive for many reasons, but one of the ways they're really good is for people with anxiety. Anxiety can be utterly paralyzing. I suffer from two anxiety disorders, one of which presents itself in two ways, as germaphobia and a deep struggle to make choices about basic things, like what food to eat, or clothes to wear, or show to watch. This makes having a Dom very, very helpful, both because they can make the choices for me, and also because having a Dom to fear replaces my anxiety. I remember one time I was having an extremely difficult moment, and I told the Dom I was seeing at that time. He grabbed my neck and told me that the only thing I was allowed to fear was him. Instantly all of my anxiety drained away, and I was left feeling lighter than air and simultaneously completely melted into him. It's one of my favorite memories.

In the same way, Thi was paralyzed by his anxiety and couldn't eat in that moment. Noey saw that he needed help, and became scary. Thi jumped and cringed at Noey's loud voice, but he was finally able to break through the anxiety paralyzing him and eat. Noey clearly wasn't angry with him after. The point of his aggressiveness was not that he was impatient with Thi or annoyed. It was that Thi needed Noey to force him to eat so his anxiety wouldn't keep him from doing so. Look at Noey's face after he gives that order:

He's not frustrated or annoyed the way his tone might suggest. He's watching Thi carefully, hoping that what he'd done would work. And here's his face when he sees that it did:

His tone is gentle and encouraging, essentially telling Thi that he'd done well, rewarding him emotionally. Noey was one step away from saying "Good boy". He's trying to be a good Dom, whether he knows the words to put to their relationship or not.

Hopefully this helped some of y'all understand that moment a bit better.

#I Will Knock You #noeythi #thinoey #noey x thi #thi x noey #noeythi meta #my meta #i will knock you episode 8