#like OK edward is cute but i dont see him enough
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guess who is back in her black butler era?
#so embarassing </3#im re-reading the whole maga cause tbh i forgot everything except THE plot twist#and everything make so much sense when you re-read it knowing what is going to happen like#ur brain is so big toboso#i started to read again 2 days ago and i just finished the green witch arc#it's weird cause I dont really have a big fav#like there is a lot of chara i like but not hubby material...#like OK edward is cute but i dont see him enough#Greenhill has 2 panel#Snake is just a baby#and William is a nanami prototype#what am i supposed to do????#🧚🏽♀️.mumbles#edit: i forgot VINCENT#but not only is he DEAD but he also has a WIFE
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one piece smau: married to marco edition
marco x male reader
-> marco is NOT that old at all, i jus feel like itd b so funny for him to b seen as old for his lack of knowledge on technology and slang terminology/phrases
-> also whitebeard having instagram is so fucking funny to me bye
liked by marco4[name], portgasace, and 10k others
polo.[name]: mirror selfie 🪞
tagged: marco.phx
marco.phx: ur new username is such a terrible pun babe
-> polo.[name]: maybe youd appreciate my grand creativity if u jus matched w me ffs
-> marco.phx: dont b a smart ass we aren't matching usernames
-> polo.[name]: ur the only man that enjoys being a smart ass dont give me attitude rn
portgasace: ohhh u guys r the type to jus take mirror selfies at the gym and then dip 🙄🙄
-> marco.phx: work on ur form and then we can talk
-> WHIT3BEARD!: BOOM roasted
[liked by marco.phx, polo.[name] and 400 others]
-> portgasace: ？？？？？
eee.izo: aww my favorite gay couple ❤️ i love whenever u two post
liked by polo.[name], eee.izo, and 15k others
marco4[name]: username change even though i already put a ring on his finger and that apparently wasnt enough??
tagged: polo.[name]
polo.[name]: seeeee isnt that just such a cute username <333
-> marco4[name]: ur cuter baby ;)
-> portgasace: BARF BARF BARF VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT
vivavista: awww marco does love [name] how adorable
-> marco4[name]: who said i didnt?
-> vivavista: ur username before u changed it....
-> marco4[name]: ur fw me....
chef.thatch: seeing marco being so publicly whipped for his hubby is heartwarming
[liked by polo.[name], portgasace, and 100 others]
-> polo.[name]: hehe hes all mine 🤭🤭🤭
liked by marco4[name], WHIT3BEARD!, polo.[name] and 17k others
eee.izo: absolutely sick to my stomach i hate these two
tagged: marco4[name] and polo.[name]
polo.[name]: holy shit this is such an old photooo
-> marco4[name]: ur talkin sbt it as if it wasnt jus three years ago...
-> polo.[name]: not seeing ur GRAYING hair is weird for me OLD MAN
-> portgasace: LMFOAOA damn gonna have to report marco for being a creepy old man for dating [name]
-> marco4[name]: u two r idiots, im only 5 years older than u [name]
-> polo.[name]: its ok i love u my beautiful old man husband
chef.thatch: aww isnt it so cutteee that they were brought tgt by boss
-> WHIT3BEARD!: if they have a kid i expect them to name it after me.
-> polo.[name]: all due respect i dont think i wuld b able to sleep well at night knowing my kids name is "edward"
[liked by portgasace, marco4[name], and 100 others]
liked by marco4[name], vivavista, and 14k others
polo.[name]: step by step guide on how to bag a blonde baddie:
1. be me
tagged: marco4[name]
marco4[name]: whatever happened to callin me ur husband???
-> polo.[name]: ur my baddie husband marco b proud <3
-> marco4[name]: young ppl and their terminology.....
eee.izo: i wouldve never used the word baddie to describe marco...
-> polo.[name]: hes a hot mysterious stoic damaged baddie old man and hes alll miiiinnneee 😍
-> eee.izo: its so hard to tell when ur being satirical
portgasace: he a baddie he showin his pantyyyy ‼️‼️
-> polo.[name]: he shake it like jellyyy 😩
-> marco4[name]: im uncomfortable.
liked by polo.[name], portgasace, and 15k others
marco4[name]: me n my husband ❤️
tagged: polo.[name]
polo.[name]: im going feral for u daddy 😻😻😻😻
-> marco4[name]: ffs
-> portgasace: count on [name] to humiliate his husband in his own comment section
[liked by polo.[name], vivavista, and 200 others]
polo.[name]: why did u choose such a hot photo of u im gonna have to fight for my life in these comments now :/
-> marco4[name]: theyre all unimportant babe dw abt them
eee.izo: marcos tiddies on my tl 😩😩😩
vivavista: damnnn marco u lookin fine aslll 😘
chef.thatch: wait till u come home i got a surprise for u in the kitchen baby
-> polo.[name]: no fuckin way.
liked by marco4[name], eee.izo, portgasace, and 10k others
polo.[name]: smoking kills...BUT BEING SMOKING HOT??? THATS A DIFFERENT STORY
tagged: marco4[name]
marco4[name]: ur unbelievable????
-> polo.[name]: i love u sm u sexy FREAK
-> marco4[name]: PLEASE STOP.
portgasace: bro cooked fr in thst caption
-> polo.[name]: yk me 🤭🤭
-> chef.thatch: what exactly did [name] cook...
-> marco4[name]: thats what im trying to figure out
eee.izo: what a truly poetic caption wowwww
-> polo.[name]: i discourage smoking for everyone. instead of smoking guys, just find urself smoking hot ppl to fill the voic. perfect example is my husband marco <3
[liked by marco4[name], portgasace, and 100 others]
liked by polo.[name], WHIT3BEARD!, and 20k others
marco4[name]: married life is for me
tagged: polo.[name]
polo.[name]: AWWWWWWWWWWWW u love me
-> marco4[name]: of course i do
portgasace: VOMIITTTEDDD VOMITTTTEEDD (u guys r so cutie wootie patootie awww)
eee.izo: took him being a whore thru his twenties to realize this, how cute
-> eee.izo: im sorry making fun of marco is too funny, this was very cute
-> marco4[name]: thanks + sleep w one eye open tn
WHIT3BEARD!: like i said tht kid u adopt better b named after me.
-> marco4[name]: [name] just visibly cringed.
polo.[name]'s story
my favorite view should i try climbing him guys <333
marco4[name] replied to your story: ......i know this means u love me so im just gonna say i love u too
#≡;- ꒰ ° smau series ꒱#one piece smau#one piece modern au#one piece x male reader#x reader#x male reader#one piece imagines#marco x male reader#marco x reader#marco imagines#marco one piece imagines#marco smau
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feather , christmas special
“ all i want for christmas is you ”
series m. list
nhl + umich x platonic!drysdale!reader,
luke hughes x fem!reader,
temporary male!oc x fem!reader
( socialmedia!au )
jamie.drysdale
liked by yourusername, dylanduke25, lhughes_06, and 58,021 others
jamie.drysdale happy 20th birthday lil sis..
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
edwards.73 aww you were best friends when you were kids…. what happened
→ jamie.drysdale she got too annoying
→ yourusername he became “one of the boys” 🙄
yourusername u dont seem too happy abt me turning 20
→ jamie.drysdale ur one year away from being 21 and that means i have to take care of u when u get drunk
→ trevorzegras he started crying to me about how he didn’t want you to grow up
→ jamie.drysdale LIES trevorzegras
username63 I AM SOBBING SO HARD RN THIS IS TOO CUTE
markestapa thanks for the childhood pics that i def won’t post when she least expects it
→ jamie.drysdale anytime 🫡
→ yourusername HEY HEY NO
_alexturcotte
liked by jackhughes, yourusername, trevorzegras, and 32,332 others
_alexturcotte happy birthday to miss mini drysdale and i hope you enjoyed your photoshoot (i took all the pics) 🥳🥳
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername my own personal photographer 🥰
→ _alexturcotte you’re lucky you’re my fav girl
→ yourusername AWWW STOP ITTT
colecaufield yes and i brought the props
luca.fantilli i don’t think you should trust her with a torch
→ yourusername I’M VERY RESPONSIBLE
username49 THE TIARAAAA
username57 i love how they all post her at the same exact time
jackhughes be careful, remember how her dress lit on fire last time?
→ yourusername THAT WAS YOU THO????
→ _quinnhughes but it was kinda your fault jack
→ lhughes_06 dude YOU were the one that dropped a lit candle on her skirt
→ jackhughes okay i didn’t need you to gang up on me 😟
rutgermcgroarty
likes by yourusername, adamfantilli, colecaufield, and 59,795 others
rutgermcgroarty happy birthday to the best drysdale 🍰
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername aw i AM the best drysdale 🥱
→ rutgermcgroarty ok now dont gotta get all cocky about it
username54 all the phones 😭😭
username25 the second pic is giving best girl energy
adamfantilli that cake genuinely scared the shit out of me
→ yourusername it’s just sparklers 🙄
markestapa you made us sing happy birthday for her 6 times.
→ rutgermcgroarty well you all sounded bad
→ mackie.samo you were the one that was off key tho???
username38 her bday looks so funnn
colecaufield
liked by trevorzegras, jackhughes, yourusername, and 45,239 others
colecaufield happy birthday even tho we don’t see each other enough so i had to use pics from your 18th birthday 😒
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
_alexturcotte imagine not being able to see her
→ colecaufield ok little buddy you don’t see her any more than i do
→ jackhughes literally could not be me (it’s torture)
yourusername I’LL COME TO SEE YOU MORE OFTEN COUGH SYRUP 🥰🥰
→ colecaufield i take it back i don’t want you coming near me
→ trevorzegras i started “cough syrup” u gotta give me credits
→ yourusername no i did it first stop trying to steal my genius ideas
username36 the heart shaped balloon is adorableee
luca.fantilli her 18th bday was 🔥🔥
→ lhughes_06 bro u werent even there
→ edwards.73 u didnt even know her
→ yourusername it’s okay guys he just wants to fit in #fomo
_quinnhughes
liked by luca.fantilli, yourusername, rutgermcgroarty, and 75,239 others
_quinnhughes i helped secretly decorate her apartment for her 20th birthday and you didn’t. we are not the same 🥱🥱
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername since when did you start bragging about me
→ _quinnhughes since rn
→ yourusername i’ll take it ig……
username47 THE FLOWERS AAAAA
username19 guys have you noticed how dead silent booker’s been
→ username58 fr he hasn’t commented at all or posted anything abt her 😭
jackhughes i helped too
→ _quinnhughes shut up no u didnt
→ yourusername let him have his moment jack, he doesn’t get a lot of them
dylanduke25
liked by yourusername, adamfantilli, mackie.samo, and 24,136 others
dylanduke25 took her out to eat then surprised her with the best pizza she’s ever eaten for her bday 💪
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
mackie.samo your handwriting is atrocious
→ dylanduke25 wbk tell me something i don’t know 🙄
username34 oh! candles on pizza!
username15 mcdonalds on ur bday >>>>>
yourusername the pizza was cold asf but that’s okay!!!!!!
→ dylanduke25 hard as a rock
→ markestapa WOAHHH THERE DUKER 🤨🤨
→ dylanduke25 bro stop making it weird
→ lhughes_06 fr
trevorzegras they always say the way to a woman’s heart is through food
→ yourusername but do they say that tho….??
username93 best gift ever frfr
markestapa
liked by yourusername, edwards.73, lhughes_06, and 65,297 others
markestapa HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL DRIZZY
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET LMFAOOOO
→ markestapa LETS FUCKING GO I WIN
mackie.samo goddammit i knew i should’ve done this instead
→ markestapa loserrrr
username32 oh my……
_quinnhughes what the hell is this
jamie.drysdale i’m ashamed to say i think you know my sister better than i do
→ markestapa no no her edward cullen phase was a difficult time for all of us
→ jamie.drysdale i’ve blocked out all the trauma
→ yourusername you’re all haters
trevorzegras
liked by jamie.drysdale, _quinnhughes, yourusername, and 89,027 others
trevorzegras i spent 5 hours secretly decorating and making these cupcakes and i survived all the weird stares i got for walking straight past the christmas section SO BE GRATEFUL. oh and happy birthday i guess
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i was so confused why jack and quinn wouldn’t let me in my own room for those five hours.. but yes yes i’m so grateful AND THE CUPCAKES ARE MAGNIFICENT
→ trevorzegras at least SOMEONE appreciates my efforts
→ _alexturcotte trevor you almost popped like half the balloons from blowing them up too much
username61 why did i just now realize that her birthday is on christmas
colecaufield wait i thought ian somerhalder was supposed to be on one of the cupcakes
→ trevorzegras who???
→ trevorzegras OH THE HOT GUY FROM THE BLOODSUCKER SHOW
→ yourusername fr i was kinda expecting tom blyth too but it’s okay
username30 LOUIS PARTRIDGEEEE
mackie.samo
liked by lhughes_06, yourusername, adamfantilli, and 53,928 others
mackie.samo i tried going the “aesthetic” route for u but clearly u like the rob pattinson ones more 🙄🙄 happy birthday mini drysdale
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername BUT YOU HELPED WITH THE SURPRISE PARTY AND I LOVE THAT SO MUCH MORE
→ mackie.samo HAHA IN UR FACE markestapa
→ markestapa WHAT NO I HELPED WITH THE PARTY TOO
_quinnhughes the amount of tiaras we’ve given her is concerning
→ yourusername i like them thoughhh ☺️
→ jamie.drysdale you know how she is with her tiaras
→ yourusername I STOPPED WEARING THEM WHEN I WAS 8 AND YOU KNOW THAT
username57 the way it’s turned into a competition 💀
edwards.73
liked by markestapa, adamfantilli, yourusername, and 57,294 others
edwards.73 pics from the birthday girl’s afterparty bc everyone else is unoriginal
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername wait til you see jack’s post 😭
→ edwards.73 wait WHAT
username44 good lord how many parties are there lmaooo
→ yourusername you don’t even wanna know
jackhughes oh please you weren’t even there for the pre-party
→ edwards.73 WHAT PRE-PARTY??
→ yourusername don’t worry ethan i didn’t know about it either until i was there 😭😭
→ edwards.73 how come i wasn’t invited 😒
trevorzegras since when was there an afterparty???????
→ yourusername yeah i don’t think they invited you..
→ trevorzegras WHO??
→ yourusername uhh mark, mackie, moosey, duker, rut, luca and adam
→ jackhughes it’s fine z they weren’t invited to the pre-party anyway
luca.fantilli
liked by yourusername, lhughes_06, mackie.samo, and 85,872 others
luca.fantilli more pics of this kid at her afterparty 🤷♂️ happy 20th birthday
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
edwards.73 ur actually so unoriginal
→ yourusername he idolizes u 🤩🤩🤩
→ luca.fantilli shut up
username12 wait that cake is so cool
username47 new tiara every post LMAO
yourusername “this kid” is crazy
→ luca.fantilli i am older than u tho
→ yourusername NOT EVEN BY A YEAR
→ luca.fantilli I’M LIKE 5 DAYS OFF
jackhughes
liked by _quinnhughes, yourusername, trevorzegras, and 94,782 others
jackhughes happy birthday to our christmas girl (our pre-party was on christmas eve) 🥳🥳
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
yourusername i think i maxxed out my cake consumption
→ jackhughes good thing you ate our cake first
username27 are you telling me she had THREE parties 😦
→ yourusername yes. THREE of them.
→ username27 girl you are stronger than i’ll ever be
edwards.73 wtvvv the pre-party sounds like it was lame
→ lhughes_06 ngl it might’ve been better than the afterparty
→ dylanduke25 LUKE YOU WERE AT THE PRE-PARTY????
→ lhughes_06 oops
username16 birthday princess turned birthday queen i loveeeeee
adamfantilli
liked by jamie.drysdale, luca.fantilli, yourusername, and 48,396 others
adamfantilli HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL DRIZZ! i hope you enjoy your birthday and that baby pic i definitely didn’t steal from your brother
tagged: yourusername
view all comments
username34 jamie has started the attack of the baby pics
yourusername the shrek photos 😦😦 my sweet sweet adam what have they done to you
→ adamfantilli many many things 😔
markestapa im ngl 4 year old lil drizzy was dripped out
→ adamfantilli fr
→ yourusername FR
→ jamie.drysdale no… no she wasn’t
username6 i need someone to post shrek on my birthday
luca.fantilli i can’t believe you posted two whole pics of her on her bday
→ yourusername you’re just toooooo funny 😒
lhughes_06
liked by yourusername, _quinnhughes, edwards.73, and 97,290 others
lhughes_06 hit em with the annual birthday sleepover 🥱 happy 20th birthday lil drizzy, ur finally my age
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername i’ve always been your age 🙄
→ lhughes_06 mmmm but barely
→ yourusername I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU
→ lhughes_06 i bought you $200 worth of gifts u just havent opened them all yet
username72 HE GAVE HER A FULL CROWN INSTEAD OF A TIARA AW
jackhughes she stopped letting me and quinn sleep over when we turned 13 but how come u still get to do it 🤨
→ lhughes_06 i’m the favorite
→ yourusername wbk tbh
username84 THE POSSIBILITIES ARE LOW BUT NEVER ZERO
rutgermcgroarty is that why you kicked the rest of us out after the afterparty 😞
→ lhughes_06 yes
→ yourusername can’t break tradition!
_quinnhughes hey hey no funny business alright
→ lhughes_06 bro she has a literal bf
→ yourusername all we do is gossip and give each other facials
→ lhughes_06 DON’T SAY THAT yourusername
→ luca.fantilli luke do you have something to tell us…?
username75 luke is secretly a girl
→ username12 or secretly a simp
→ username71 i dont think hes “secretly” any of those things 😭😭
yourusername
liked by lhughes_06, jamie.drysdale, colecaufield, and 99,117 others
yourusername thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and to everyone who celebrated me turning 20 years old!! and ofc thank you to a certain someone who always stays up until exactly 12 am to wish me happy birthday first 🫢 also merry christmas and happy holidays, i love you all mwahhhh!
view all comments
jackhughes i wonder who that someone could be 🤔
→ trevorzegras huh i think their name seemed to have slipped my mind
→ _alexturcotte it’s so weird usually i don’t forget
→ colecaufield i can’t believe none of us can remember
→ _quinnhughes you’re all painfully obvious
lhughes_06 wow the special shoutout 😱
→ yourusername ik ur just so lucky
username26 so let’s run it back to booker and the fact that he’s been completely silent throughout ALL of this
→ username48 fr like where is bro
username3 isn’t that the crown luke gave her
mackie.samo we’ll throw an even better party next year
→ yourusername i’m looking forward to it 🫣
notes )
so.. i actually struggled trying to find good pics and ALMOST NONE OF THEM MATCH EACH OTHER lmaooo
but yes here is the christmas special i promised and ik no one posts actual insta posts for someone elses bday but it was more fun writing it that way n i hope u all like it!!
(lightly proofread so if there are any mistakes i apologize 😭)
tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot
#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fic#luke hughes fanfic#luke hughes#quinn hughes#jack hughes#trevor zegras#alex turcotte#cole caufield#jamie drysdale#rutger mcgroarty#luca fantilli#adam fantilli#mark estapa#dylan duke#mackie samoskevich#ethan edwards
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Window
overview: reader accidentally falls out of a window while having a late night talk with spencer (loosely based on the song: home by edward shapre and the magnetic zeros)
genre: angst? FLUFF
warning: blood, head injury, hospital visit, overdramatic reader thinks shes dying
a/n: i really really dont know if yall will like this but i do and i think its cute so please lmk what u think ab it :)
masterlist
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Spencer knew it wasn't the safest thing in the world. you did too. but something about sitting on the outside window ledge together, talking and laughing, was far too tempting of an offer to pass up. and besides, it was just over 6 feet off of the ground! whats the worst that could happen?
and so you sat, shoulders smushed together so you could both fit. a blanket wrapped around you both, keeping the cool night air locked out. however, you were so close together (and so flushed) that even without the blanket you'd both still be warm.
you adored nights like this with him, thinking to yourself how you got lucky enough to call him your best friend. to anyone else, it was obvious you two were deeply yet obliviously, painfully in love. you watched as he retold a memory he had of the two of you, eyes widening and hands peeking through the blanket to gesture wildly with each sentence. though you were listening to the story, growing more and more fond of the memory now that it was being told from his perspective, you couldn't help but be distracted by him. his essence. his being. he was...intoxicating.
and then he cut to the punch line and looked to you for a reaction, watching beauty radiate from you as you threw your head back and laughed. he didn't even realize how funny it was until he saw how hard you were laughing. and then you snorted, which of course caused you to laugh more. with tears nearly coming out of your eyes, you wrapped your hands around your aching stomach, trying to control your laughter and completely forgetting that you needed your hands to keep you balanced on the window.
he took you in, a tranquility like no other filling his heart.
and then it happen.
in slow motion he watched you lose your balance, unable to catch his grasp as you fell towards the ground outside. fear coursed through his veins as he tried to calculate every possible out come. and then suddenly time was back to normal, and you were on the floor, a fresh cut on your head.
without missing a beat he jumped out after you, landing far more gracefully than you had.
you felt him lift your head into his lap, barely hearing his muffled words. you nodded when he asked if you could hear him for the fourth time. and then you felt some blood trickle down your face. and you did not do well with seeing your own blood.
that was it. you were gonna die. you never told him how you felt and you were going to die. you could even feel death pulling on your eyelids.
in reality, you had landed on your hip and your head hit a pointy rock. it felt like hell but medically you would be just fine. it looked a lot worse than it actually was, head injuries produce far more blood than other body parts.
spencer knew this as he peeled the cardigan off of his shoulders, bunching it up and applying pressure to your wound.
he picked you up bridal style, trying hard to cradle your head at the same time. he was beyond relieved at how relatively minor this was going to be. you would heal, and you would be ok. he got to his car and gently placed you in the passenger seat before running to the drivers side and taking off as fast as he possible could.
"Spencer," you rasped.
"don't talk very much right now. don't worry i'm going to get you to the hospital just stay awake for me you've probably got a concussion." he explained, looking over worriedly.
"im going to die." you told him, your brain feeling foggy from seeing your own blood.
"no you wont. i promise you wont die."
you went on telling him again and again how you would die and how the team shouldn't cry for you. and he patiently explained every time that you would be ok. and as he carried you into the ER you took one look at the cardigan that had rested against your forehead and convinced yourself 110% that you were on your death bed.
so it was now or never.
"Spencer before i die i want you to know that i love you. i always have. i just had to get it off my chest before i left this world with you still in it." you blurted as the doctors began to take you away.
he stood there, mouth agape at your confession.
"she is not going to die." one of the doctors reassured Spencer before turning on his heels and jogging to catch up with the rest of them.
it had to have been the loss of blood. or maybe a concussion fogged your thinking. or maybe he's in shock and he's hearing things. because there is no possible way that that just happened.
and so he sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour while they stitched up your head, nervously tapping his foot to match the pace of his racing thoughts.
he was thinking through every single moment the two of you had ever shared, wondering if-hoping that there was some truth to your confession, when they called out your name. he shot up faster than he ever had before, even getting a little light headed at the sudden quick stance.
he walked in to see you sitting up, drinking some apple juice that the nurses had brought you. and even then, in a hospital bed with half a dozen stitches in your forehead, you looked more beautiful than ever. he was astonished. absolutely astonished at just how radiant you were. your eyes twinkles as you smiled at him.
"so false alarm.. i didnt die." you joked, trying to hide your embarrassment, handing him a hospital issued jello.
"im so glad youre ok. you know i told you from the start we shouldnt have sat on the window," he chuckled, eyes feeling teary for a reason unknown to him.
"i know i know, you're always right." you giggled a little before wincing in pain from it.
his hand came up and lightly brushed your hair back, soothing you so much your eyes immediately fluttered closed. he had to bring it up, he had to know.
"did you mean it?" he asked.
you tried to control your heart rate while you played it dumb, "well yeah i really did think i was going to die."
"thats not what i meant."
"i know." you admitted. "yes. i meant it. i still mean it and if thats weird for you and you want to leave i completely understand-"
he cut you off by pressing his lips to your own, soft but passionate, tasting of jello.
it was a better profession of love than any speech he could try to make. because regardless of how many big words he used, it wouldn't be enough. not to mention that being around you makes his brain turn into mush, rendering it completely useless.
your heart rate monitor started going absolutely wild, beeping quickly and erratically. you both started laughing into the kiss, reluctantly pulling away. euphoria coursed through your veins, two lovesick bozos in the hospital.
you two talked for a little, buzzed from the kiss., smiling like a couple of idiots. but you were happy. sitting in the hospital with a cracked open head and you were still happy. because Spencer was there. and he makes you happy.
after talking to the doctor and a phone call with hotch, you were told to take two weeks off of work. spencer insisted that he go home early every day so he can come over and take care of you. and that was fiinnneee by you.
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ultra mega super cool taglist:
@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @s1utformgg @violetspoetic
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#reid#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#garcia#hotch#morgan#penelope garcia#emily prentiss#prentiss#jennifer jereau#jj#david rossi#rossi
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Have I really ever requested one thing of you (the pegging telltale Riddler h/c)? Time to change that; let's see how the Eddies would respond to being told by their partner that they're a "bad boy" and "need to be punishment" (sexually, of course) - Pegging Anon.
I really enjoy these kinds of asks. honestly just give me a blank check for mayhem, unleash me upon the riddlers like a plague of locusts
nsfw below the cut
Arkham! Riddler
please be careful with this riddler. He has problems reading peoples tone and if he thinks youre angry at him you're liable to send him into a panic.
he really doesn't like dirty talk. dont call him a slut or a whore or anything like that. Not only is it demeaning and humiliating( 2 things this riddler doesnt deal well with) its just a terrible way to get him to do what you want.
again, the idea of punishment in a sexy setting is a turn off for him. He’s afraid of being strangled or choked and he doesn't find being hit sexy.
to put it simply, this riddler reacts better to the carrot than the stick. if you want a good reaction out of him, praise and affection work better. call him a good boy, give him pets and rewards.
IF you were to coax him into it, safeword, soft restraints and reassuring from you that everything will be ok, he’ll still probably cry. he might enjoy himself but the emotional stress will still leave him in an utter state.
i know some people use BDSM to cope with trauma but maybe dont try this on him. pitch the idea and let him mull it over. dont bring it up more than once or twice and let him decide
he always needs a lot of aftercare. he needs to be constantly reassured, not just after sex, that you love him , that he’s done well. lots of kisses and soft words and let him rest from the heavy stuff for a little while.
Blacklight riddler
another riddler you need to tread carefully with. he’s a kinky shit but like...a soft kinky shit who bruises easily.
He wont need coaxing. its either a hell yes or a hell no and you shouldn't push that. He likes sex games but he’s got trauma, sometimes something that was fine yesterday is triggering today so please be gentle and respectful with him.
He doesnt mind being called a bad boy, just not too often. mix it up and don't patronise him all the time . you can tell him off without treating him like a kid.
he likes edging and orgasm denial as a punishment. just dont ruin his orgasm or he wont let you do it again.
please don't ever hit him during sex. a playful thump on the arm when he’s telling a bad joke is one thing but if you touch him roughly during the act, even if he knows its coming, he finds it triggering.
He’s pretty exclusively a sub but don't think that means he’s into punishment all the time. mostly he just likes his dominant to take care of him.
BTAS Riddler
i feel like it would throw him for a loop. he’d be confused as all hell, even if you said it in a sexy voice he might not get the message.
he’d probably scoff at the idea. the notion that he’s anything other than perfect is laughable. he’s certainly not some sort of bad boy. you should sit on his lap and get him on the same page as you. watch his mouth go dry and his eyes go wide as you explain all the things you're going to do to him for being bad. he’ll do his best to stay composed but we both know its you who’d be wearing the pants by the end of the conversation.
he’d want to be tied up. he’ll be gibbering and rambling the entire time, desperately trying to stay in control of the situation. He’ll try to do things for you but a gentle reminder that you’re in control and if he doesn't anything he’ll be punished more will have him biting his tongue.
I think humiliation works best on this one. im imagining something with rope or his suits since he’s so fond of them. maybe try and make him cum while still clothed? maybe some shibari under his suit jacket? i’ll let you decide.
he doesnt have a safeword bc he thinks its strictly a bdsm thing and refuses to admit he’s into that. he prefers to use the traffic light system. although you probably had to teach him that. before hand he was using some nonsense riddler made system involving humming different songs. ode to joy for fun/keep going and vivaldi winter for slow down. you will have to gently explain what a batshit insane idea that was.
Original Riddler
I imagine he’d be into it, moreso initially than the others. He doesnt have so much emotional baggage and he’s game to try anything once.
I dont know if he’d find the idea of punishment sexy but he’ll try it for you. he’d probably just prefer you to frame it as impact play or degradation or whatever “just because” you wanna try it. something about it being a meant as a punishment just seems weird to him
he does like being called names but in a cute playful way. he’s not liable to take offence at anything you say, inside or outside the bedroom but digs at his appearance do sting a little. even if youre “in character” so to speak when you say them. just reassure him after that you dont really think those things.
He’s one of the tallest riddlers and also has zero shame so you’ll need to be inventive when thinking of punishments. tying him up could actually hurt him with his circulation, he runs around in glittery spandex all day anyway so good luck trying to humiliate him.
Because he is so tall and strong, its hard to hurt him. you could try spanking him, ask him to count out the spanks and listen as his voice gets higher and more unsteady with each one.
actually in that note and given his penchant for dress up maybe you could try sub/dom roleplay? pretend you're a doctor/nurse or something and you're punishing him for his bad diet? if the punishment thing doesn't work out at least you’ll both get a giggle out of it.
Telltale Riddler
Oh he is absolutely going to fight you on this one “i think YOU'RE the one who needs punishing , love.” . if you want to punish him you’ll have to fight for that right
he’s never really subbed before he met you. He’s happy to show you how to punish a sub but he really needs practice letting someone else hold the reins.
he pretends he doesn't like dirty talk. if you get him riled up and start whispering filthy things in his ear he’s going to melt a little.
I cant think of a specific he’d like or something he’d find egregiously offensive, so i think you've got a blank cheque for mayhem here. do what you like and he’ll tell you then and there if he’s into it or not.
but no blinders or restraints though. he’s claustrophobic after being in that icebox. He IS an escapartist mind you. even if you put him in something he’ll have wiggled out of it before you can blink . he MIGHT tolerate something just there for aesthetics or because the fabric feels nice, like maybe his tie or your hair bow tied loosely around his arms.
in the same vein, he’s sensitive so maybe you could lightly torture him with some sensory stuff. ice cubes or wax play?
Zero year Riddler
i Cannot stress to you enough what a horny fuck this one is. at the mere MENTION of sexy punishment he’s like “oh yes punish me ive been bad “ wiggling his ass in the air like a target. will call you Daddy regardless of your gender because we all know he has issues.
He’s 100 percent going to lean into it, goad you and taunt you to punish him more, get angrier or hit him harder. he gets off on the pain, yes but he also just really enjoys being an insufferable shit.
“EDWARD THIS IS PUNISHMENT YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY IT” - you, probably.
i dont think the traditional sexy punishment things will work on this one. youre going to have to get creative. like tell him you are in charge of his wardrobe and death traps for the week.
something that MIGHT work would be forcing him to wear a toy or even just some lingerie under his suit. He’s going to be embarrassed as all hell because this riddler is a big buff cheeto puff who takes his appearance seriously. BUT he cant deny the thrill of maybe the lace poking out over his waist band when he bends or the outline of a bralette being seen under his shirt, isnt a little arousing.
please dont be surprised when he turns around a week later and pulls this exact same shit on you.
there you go nonnie ! this one was quite a lot of fun! i have a rule of trying not to write more than 6 points for each but it was hard to compress down this time around. so much variety in personality and temperament in the one character there's a lot to write about
got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜
#asks#riddler headcanons#riddler#edward nygma#edward nigma#arkham riddler#arkham knight riddler#arkham knight#blacklight riddler#blacklight au#btas#btas riddler#batman the animated series#original riddler#telltale riddler#batman telltale#zero year riddler#zero year#my stuff#my writing#my headcanons#headcanons
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Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.
ok i’ll try here we go
@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR
@rikuxnakayama sir i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST
@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT
@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR
@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js
@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy
@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it
@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile
@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words...
@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :)
@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed
@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously!
@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!!
@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen
@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying.
@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free.
@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram
@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park!
@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh
@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!!
@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously!
@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it!
@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know.
@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!!
@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell.
@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please)
@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram!
@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!
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Seasons of Fear Notes
- Paul Mcgann describing new years night in 1930s Singapore while drinking tea in a fancy hotel garden and reading newspapers to the light of the fireworks is AESTHETIC and I am HERE for it
-"Hmm!"
"HhmMMM!"
I love these two idiots
-"I assume you did your usual act of playing the fool and making him talk."
"Do I do that?"
"I...uh always assumed you did?"
"Oh :("
ASSFJFKDJDINE WILL CHARLIE EVER STOP ROASTING EIGHT?
"My death must have been extremely unsatisfying."
"Yes, do look on the bright side." I think she laughed while saying this haha
Pffft Charley's listing off ways to brutally murder him and eight just sighs "charleeyyy"
"You're just in time for the bloodbath"
"Story of my life!" EIGHT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
-"And people disappear up those staircases" *launches into zagreus rhyme* zagreus is NOT giving me good vibes ohhhh boy
-"You learn to notice such details when you're use to the bitchiness of timelord society" ASGFJFJF IM WHEEZING
-CHARLEY GOT POISONED SHIT
-"now can we drop him into a volcano?" charley I love you so much
-"It's the most wonderful thing about Lady Time, how nothing's constant, how everything decays and changes." This entire monologue is giving me a lot of Doctor Who Feels(tm) because the whole nature of the show is change, and even though our young Eight sees it as a good thing now, time will take away everything dear to him and he won't call it beautiful anymore.
(Also scherzo feels because nothing changed in there. Always scherzo feels one way or another gah)
-"Grayell never changes, Not inside, not who he is. So time piles on top of him and kills everything good" aaand Big Finish did Ashildr/Lady Me before the show did too, huh.
-"Sorry I was soliloquizing, filthy habit" HSHDUDNI YOU CAN'T THROW A JOKE IN THERE RIGHT AFTER ALL THAT
-Pfft they got caught dragging grayell's body around and Eight is like "Umm...this doesn't look good, does it" ASGHDJDJ WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
-"Well cheer up, Look there's a mouse! :)"
"I am deeply cheered -_-"
I laughed outloud, these two oh my god.
"She's just mad that I left her at the alter." HOW MANY TIME AM I GOING TO REPEAT EIGHT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
-"The most beautiful woman in all of England...probably?" This story is definitely adding fuel to the Ace!doctor headcanon
-"I should have thumped you harder!" Charley Is so indignant haha
-ok Edith and Edward are cute in a "there-is-no-body-else-i-would-conquer-all-of-england-with" and "you-are-the-only-one-able-to-manipulate-people-as-well-as-me" kind of way
-also I love all the references to how wily and tricky Eight is, get me those eldritch trickster god vibes
-Eight being so worried about wanting to kill Grayell is ironic considering his last two incarnations lol, also crying in the club because of time war eight.
it's strange how he is desperately trying to attach himself to the idea of the doctor, a bit like his future incarnations after the war. But I guess the identity crisis would be valid considering how this incarnation started, and how often he loses his memory
-Ok, but Paul Mcgann in a fancy old english dress would look great. Cmon
-"Hey, Bats, great!" Eight is like a disney princess oh my god sibdjdnd
-"last time we tried that we ended up manacled to the wall" lol yeah eight dont you remember?? Jesus christ, without Charlie you'd get more fucked up then usual
-"My daughter Charlotte Pollard" EIGHT YALL LOOK THE SAME AGE YOU DUMBASS
-"I can make this stuff up all day, I've read a lot of Jane Austen" we stan Charlie's taste in books
-this is the most passive aggressive conversation I've seen ever seen in big finish
-"witH STYLE!" EIGHT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
-of course Eight would get in a 19th century duel and almost stab himself right before
-Lowkey shipping Lucy and Charlie
-"If I hold this sword to your throat long enough the years will exact their rightful toll, do want to know how it feels like to be 1400 years old?" Eight being quietly terrifying is my JAM
-cue "whats that in your hand" "A knife!" "NO" vine
-EIGHT THATS NOT THE PROPER REACTION TO GETTING STABBED MULTIPLE TIMES
-he wouldn't dream of leaving her behind and I'm getting charlie and eight feels gahhhhh
-"I think you've gotten fatter as a species since I've last seen you" EIGHT SHUT UP
-"Everybody's calling me a coward today" he is so offended pffffft
-DID HE REALLY JUST THROW HIMSELF IN THE TIME VORTEX DOCTOR NO, WHY
-"The butterfly colors of the vortex" of course this makes you think of butterflies
-"i could feel them wanting to pull my psyche apart and sacrifice me on the alter of time" well that's horrifying and eloquent
-daw Charley talking about the doctor smelling like honey and stuff is cute
-Lucy is great and I love her
-baby grayell is surprisingly cute and wholesome
-"Are you quite finished talking to yourself" GSIDNDIE YOU CANT SAY JACKSHIT ABOUT THAT DOCTOR AND YOU KNOW IT
-"pray to whatever gods you have" "I do that every day" ??? Does he mean Lady Time and/or Death??? The universe itself???
-"Some of them as memories, some of them as stories, some of them as dreams" interesting within the context of all the timey wimey bullshit with the Year that Never Happened and a bunch of other timeline shit
-wait he was just talking about cow puns why is there a creepy deep voice shaming the doctor
-is it the timelords ??
-wait what what what WHAT
-Ok well I'm fucking terrified wHAT, CHARLIE ARE YOU OK?
-CHARLIE ???!!!
-NOO, LUCY
-this audio was very entertaining and gives me a lot of feelings, I well definitely be relistening at some point
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Alright, cool. I finally have a guaranteed length of time that should be long enough to go through all of these, so let’s do this. I know the plan was to have me address each ask one at a time but that didn’t work out lol so I’m just doing it all at once. I’m also turning it into a post so anyone who wants to can follow along with my journey.
I’m also gonna copy/paste the text of the other asks instead of screen capping them because copy/pasting is faster lol.
I’m gonna put a pic of each one here, give my thoughts, maybe a goofy rating (I dunno), and then pick my favorite. Just so y’all know.
* Tanawy's entry n.1 in the Dragon Quest monster showcase: the all-time classic Slime. When asked to design the Slime like the standard goop monster they usually were, Toriyama said "no" and a legend was born, now cute slimes are more popular than the disgusting goop depiction. Its cousins and variants are numerous and some are very different from one another so as a bonus here the criminally underutilized Mottle Slime and its evolution the Mottle King Slime.
See, I don’t even need to look this one up. Here it is:
But let’s be real, you guys didn’t need to see an image of this dude either. I love this thing. I never went through a period where I thought of the grosser oldschool slimes. This thing has always been what’s come to my mind when I here the word in an RPG context. Which, considering my zero experience with DQ, really speaks to this thing’s popularity. I am actually going to remove this one from consideration, though, for that reason. I just have too much of a bias towards it. I know it too well, and all variations seem to be equally great. It’s a 10/10, though. Truly iconic.
Get the rest after the cut!
* Tanawy's entry n.2: Originally a boss monster, here is the Golem. While not the sharpest tool in the shed, these brick-made guys can be quite loyal, with a child-like personality, downright adorable (I will never forget you Goldirox) but their strenght in battle must not be underestimated. And since St. Valentinus is around the corner here a Chocolate Golem variant as a gift. Friendship chocolate mind you, from a dude to another 😄
I like this guy. He reminds me of a couple oldschool Yugioh cards. They’re all bad cards, but I’m nostalgic for them so that help’s this guy’s chances. I don’t know that I buy him as a threatening boss, though. He seems more like he’d be your big stone pal.
The chocolate variant is absolutely adorable.
8.5/10 overall for both.
* Tanawy's entry n.3: Here are two members of the Machine Family, first the Killing Machine. These relentless hunters are merciless and they are constantly upgrading, so models with different modifications are plenty. They even come with garden sprinkles. Then there is the Mecha-mynah, who puts a different spin on the mechanical Cuckoo-bird motif. Careful these guys have razor-sharp wings and they selfdestruct when cornered.
Alright, not so much for the second one, but the Killing Machine also reminds me of, like, a half dozen Yugioh monsters. Did Kazuki Takahashi just like ripping this franchise off or something? Either way, these are both good designs, but they don’t really work for me that much. They’re a little...plain? I guess? I guess I like my machine creatures rougher and with more detail. 7/10.
* Tanawy's entry n.4: Next are my deepest fears (exaggeration) if they were real; the Waspion, half wasp half scorpion, and the Claw Hammer, Half hammerhead shark half metal scolopendra, all nightmare. Continuing with the caravan of creepiness, here is the Bona Constrictor, just get it away from me. This next one, when i saw it for the first time i yelled "WTF is That?!" here is the Ulcer, a walking awful pile of rotting flesh.
I am NOT a fan of the Ulcer. That thing’s ugly, and not even in a fun way. 0/10.
I like these other guys, though:
The Waspion is literally just Gligar from Pokemon, but aside from that I like animal/creature mash-ups. And the Claw Hammer is a pretty unique one. 9/10 for the whole lot.
* Tanawy's entry n.5: Beef or chicken? Why choose when you can have both? Here is a heavyweight of the Bird Family the taurine Bullfinch. But dont forget your vegetables, or else they might turn into these Plant family monsters, the eggplant Woebergine, the bellpeppers Capsichum and the cucumber Cruelcumber. Also, meet the Peahooter, these guys pelts their targets with arrows taking advantage of their higher ground.
Okay, we’ve got another mash-up creature here in the form of the Bullfinch, but I’m not feeling this one as much. It’s worth, like, a 6.5/10, maybe. The Woebergine and the Peahooter are both pretty interesting. The Peahooter is kinda cute in a weird way and the Woebergine is delightfully derpy. They both deserve approaching an 8/10. I’m not really feeling the Capsichum at all though. They get a 5 or a 6/10.
* Tanawy's entry n.6: Who doesn't like a good dog? Well maybe not these guys from the Beast family: the Chainine who will ensnare their preys with their collars, the Putrefido, who is no longer alive, the Abracadabrador, who will eat your bones, the Crocodog, a levitating (yes this thing floats in the air) dog-crocodile hybrid and finally the Jackal Ripper (long lost relative of Wolverine or just imitator? More at 11 on the news)
Hey now. That’s not really fair to the other entries. Every one of these dudes:
Is a very GOOD BOI. I think I like the Abracadabrador the least. He’s a little too un-dog-like compared to the others. 6.5/10. The Chainine and the Putrfido are both the perfect blend of cute and weird. I like them a lot. They get 7.5/10. Jackal Ripper is a badass 8/10. He’d be cooler if he was wearing jeans. I LOVE the Crocodog, though. 10/10. Perfect. He just looks like a friend, but he also looks like he could kill my enemies. Which is what I like in a monster.
* Tanawy's entry n.7: Here is a taste of Japan with the Boppin’ badger, the most Tanuki-like monster you will ever meet; Then these guys don't need consent to give everyone within their reach a smooch, here is the Lips. Also, beware of these horses of the underworld, the Equinox where they probably hangout with these other lovely fellows, the Hellspawn. Speaking of which here is the demon Teeny Sanguini. Cute eh? Not when it evolves in the Bloody Manguini. Thankfully not everyone of them does that.
Okay, you can’t fool me. That first one is just a regular animal.
Jokes aside, though, I’m not really feeling this bunch unfortunately. The Hellspawn just reminds me too much of mutant can Steven, the Lips is a little boring, and the Equinox, while I like the wordplay in its name, and while it’s cool in principal, is too busy. I’m just not feeling the designs of these guys overall. 4 or 5/10 for the whole lot. Though the Teeny Sanguini is closer to a 5 than a 4.
* Tanawy's entry n.8: There are two species of monsters, the Pips and their cousins the Conks, who constatly imitate the classic classes of the humans, like warriors or priests, but this time the little rascals have gone a little farther and here they are copying the DQ8 4 main heroes in the Trodainian Conklave, the DQ4 heroes in the Zenithian Conklave, the hero of DQ1 and the 3 heroes of DQ2 in the Alefgardian Conklave and the hero of DQ3 with 3 other companions in the Aliahanian Conklave. Cute.
Okay, I love the idea of these things. They’re cute, they fit right in with the general aesthetic of the franchise, and they have a ton of personality. I’m not gonna post pics of all of them because there’re so many, but they deserve ~9/10 collectively. They’re very good.
* Tanawy's entry n.9: Not enough dragons? So here's three: what do you get mixing a T-rex, a dragon and a vicious axeman? An Hacksaurus that's what! Then the Drakulard. Don't be fooled by their mole these portly fellows mean business. Another chubby dragon, the Jargon: dragonic masters of the clay containers, these guys URNed their right to use jar puns and they will make sure you remenber it, even if they have to crack your pot.
Okay now these are more what I was thinking when I heard the title Dragon Quest.
I like the Hacksaurus the best outta them. He just looks nice. They’re all good, though. They fit the art style perfectly, and resemble each other just enough that you buy them all being related creatures. 8/10 overall, though the Hacksaurus is a little above the others, with the Jargon being a barely at the bottom of the barrel. Or the jar I guess.
* Tanawy's entry n.10: The only story entry in this showcase, because just look at him, it's the only DQ big baddie (at least in english) to actually call themselves "the Demon Lord" It's Orgodemir, specifically it's true form which is the first photo you find in the gallery at almost end-page. Let me just tell you this, Orgodemir is a d*ck of the highest level. The brain it's actually an eyelid for a giant eye by the way. Happy Nightmares.
HAHAHAHA. I know there are other forms for this guy, and this is probably not the reaction that anyone who played the game would have, but I just can’t take this guy seriously. He looks like Edward Cullen with bat wings. HAHAHA. 8/10 ‘cause it made me laugh.
* Tanawy's entry n.11: And lastly, in a category i like to call "I can't belive these are real", its the Funky Ferret; yes he and his cousins do exactly what the image shows. And the almost copyright-infinging Owlbear, yes they did not even try to distance themself from D&D with this one (ok they have a variant but is not saying much). There were others in the last category, but since they REALLY did not age gracefully to the modern standards of "acceptable" i prefered not show them.
I love Owlbears, they’re just such iconic fantasy monsters at this point, so he gets a solid 8/10 rating by default. It’s a pretty original take, too, focusing on the cuteness potential of the creature over the badass potential. I like that.
The Funky Ferret, though...
With a name like that this guy coulda been so cool. But he’s just a pretty generic design blended with a fart joke. What a bummer. 3/10.
And there we have it. Probably not exactly what you were thinking but I hope you like it. I don’t hate any of these guys. Some are more boring than others, but there’s something neat about each of them. I like the ones that take badass ideas and make them cute while remaining intimidating best out of all of them, and I think the Crocodog does this best with the Hacksaurus as the runner up. Crocodog is definitely my favorite of these, though. He gets the Best Good Boi award of Bestness.
Orgodemir gets an award, too, though, the “made AJ spit out his rum and Coke laughing” award. It’s not the most coveted, but it’s something.
I know this is a long one, and y’all may not want to reblog, but what do any of my followers think of these funky dudes? Leave a comment on this post or reblog with your answer in the tags!
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AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲
MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁
OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁
ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.
NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!
UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET
RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)
“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO
GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL
“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!
OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO
“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.
“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...
i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights
OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!
WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!
OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????
“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO
“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!
pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔
- tata
WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???
ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰
PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^
AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).
😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33
AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af
ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.
LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)
AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3
thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.
IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!
oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)
WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl
LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰
AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔
THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘
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after the fall spoilers /
when u wanna liveblog but ur the first person you know to start/finish reading: a collection of disorganised and contextless thoughts by an excitable brit
book: mentions weiss and ruby
me: SCREAMING
fox is from vacuo!!!!!! i am VINDICATED
ADA ADA ADA ADA
split point of view per chapter is sososososososoososos GOOD SO GOOD DO GOOD
nothing will beat novels for their ability to drop explicit details in a short period of time
VELVET HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY
coco adele? was that a typo? or is adele her middle name? stylistic choice? hmm
what a fucking show off our boy fox is
tiny criticism: pls stop knocking on about coco’s fashion sense we get it you’re doing that thing where you boil her down to one trait, hopefully this will happen less as the book goes on
FOX CLAPPED HIS HANDS TO HIS EYES. “OH NO!” HE SAID. “WHYYYYYYY?”
this initiation is some juicy fucking lore my guys
y.. yatsuhashi CAN FUCK WITH MEMORIES???
dyou think when fox stutters over a word in team cfvy’s mental group chat, coco, yatsuhashi and velvet repeat his mistake back at him
i am supremely interested to know how fox’s semblance interacts with rens
i literally fucking winded myself at the start of chapter 5 gasping so hard
“she looked like she had a mortal wound in her side” OH HAHA VERY FUNNY I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
coco mentoring ruby has given me more life than anything so far
WEISS DONT BE MEAN TO YATSUHASHI
oh im not comfortable with weiss calling fox red that sounds very weird and not at all in character it sounds too much like torchwick and im not about making that association
WHY WOULD HER HAND GO TO MYRTENASTER ARE YOU REALLY GONNA FIGHT FY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY WEISS?
i really did forget how much of an ego weiss has right in the beginning ive been writing her post development for too long
BLAKE N VELVET BLAKE N VELVE T once again i gasped so hard my lungs hurt
wow huh okay blake being violent is..... a surprise
“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence” jess is vindicated im so proud of my wife
COCO WAS GOING TO LIKE HER, VELVET THOUGHT you’re damn right she does
i dont like velvet and coco fighting ):
fox as the hardcore realist i am once again, VINDICATED
velvet employing the same words to gus as blake did to her..... aaa.....
yatsuhashi’s semblance makes me sad cause imagine if he made someone he thought cared about him forget him and it turned out to be really easy
UGH THE THEME IN THIS BOOK IS LEARNING LESSONS AND ITS SO APPARENT AAAAAA
fox and ruby interacted...... thank you for my life............
the inclusion of not only yatsu asking velvet to guide him so he can be better in terms of his language but also an active example of this happening is really pleasing to me
as the player of a dnd character who always splits off from the group i can say with complete confidence fox splitting off from team cfvy in the sands of vacuo will almost certainly not go well
“she kept waiting for the others to see it” ;___;
PYRRHAAAA ;____________;
literally all it takes is her name and i am sad .
this TEAM make my heart SURGE
coco genuinely is the big explicit wlw i’ve been hoping for
jesus christ coco hold urself together.
fox vc alexa play darude: sandstorm
OK BUT CYRANO IS MCFUCKING COOL MY DUDES I COULDNT HAVE IMAGINED SOMETHING LIKE THIS
- as long as her remembered to charge his scroll. i knew it, boy’s gonna run out of battery .
IF MY BOY GETS KILLED I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU ROOSTERTEETH
i love when things connect with canon i love it i love it
why is coco of all people picking on velvet ):
VELVET BITING BACK THO aaaaaa yay but also ):
uhg i love this fuck ign fami ly
im.... emotional,,,,,
the cairn mission......... no wonder it was so hard..... im ):
COCO FINALLY LETTIN VELVET DO SHIT YASS
I KNOW ITS JUST THE INDLUENCE OF GUS’ SEMBLANCE BUT IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN THEY FIGHT
also im getting serious shadow of the colossus vibes
FOX BETTER NOT DIE BERTIE NEEDS TO GET FUCKED
i love my son he’s so strong and smart
theres so many death flags here i dont even know who they’re on anymore
lol jk he��s fine
i really love how sure of himself fox is and so he should be he’s fought really hard to be confident
it is REALLY cool seeing an actual scene from the show written from velvet’s perspective, im all about this
moro is gonna be happy about glynda i know it she’s fab
“we just need you to tell us everything” “ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING” ozpin still putting tremendous amounts of pressure on teenagers i see
“we prefer to speak with you individually so we can separate you from your support system while tugging on your vulnerabilities”
yatsu getting mad ):
im not too fond on how blithely ‘coco never picked up on that’ regarding the finer points of velvet’s tendencies when coco has been established already as a people watcher and observational thinker.,
CFY TO THE RESCUE
what the FUCK these adults???? hello????? “i deserved that” NO YOU DIDNT???? what did glynda think he was gonna do, stab ozpin???
“haha we broguth her here alone to TEST you!!! you passed because you came to her!!!! hahahahahah!!!!!!” fuck you ozpin
no explanation as to WHY she had to be brought alone as if her ‘keen observational skills’ couldnt have been asked about in the presence of her team or indeed pulled fro the written report she’ll be making
this is such a formative mission for them and i like it but damn ozpin really up here ruining it all
the death flags were yatsu’s ALL ALONG
oh god the impact of velvet using some of these weapons has not been lost on me and it must be devastating for her
“if this didnt qualify, what did?” me when i get to the end of a game with 3468758976495 different things hoarded and dropping them all on the final boss
why are coco and velvet having a conversation like they’re about to die noones dying NOONES DYING
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH SHIFTING TO A FLASHBACK YOU WANKERS
thumbelina peach...? really???? but hey looks like beacon has more than 4 professors now
“noone knew what had frozen that beast there” interesting .
its interesting to me that so far its been atlas thats been shown to be the least accepting of faunus but now its becoming clear mistral is worse, worse enough that velvet wont even consider going there
“velvet waited for someone to ask her what she wanted, but they never did” :(
anyway i cant wait to see how coco is gonna make the blind worm her bitch
yatsu is so shy about his semblance im sad for him,
I CANT BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE
coco getting edward to help ;_____;
its both funny and depressing that sssn are here and sage and scarlet are still yet to have any actual fuckin lines or DESCRIPTORS for that matter
fox tapping that @ everyone command and getting chewed out for it
COCO YOU BITCH THAT WAS ART
u kno whats getting me most?
BOOK #2 WHEN???????????
#idk why im surprised i finished it already when ive been doing nothing else all day#anyway im gonna take a break and then start a reread for analysis purposes#( ooc. they’re lesbians harold )#after the fall spoilers /#rwby spoilers /
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Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 3]
I have to warn you all that this chapter has a rape scene in it. It’s completely ridiculous, and I really don’t know if that makes it better or worse. Proceed with caution.
Recap: Edward gave into tempation and tried putting the moves on Tiaa. She went along with it at first, but then pushed him away because they were in public and Edward already has a girlfriend. Edward seems to think Tiaa is a vampire, even though she doesn’t appear to be and his thinking she is doesn’t really make sense.
Chapter 1
Previous chapter
AN - hi guys hope u like this one im quite proud of it!
That’s a bit worrying.
thanx for the suport from my frends love u girls!glad u like it! oh an VINCENT ur so dumb of course tiaa didnt go to math in only her bra shes not a total ditz!
Hey, you never said she put her shirt back on! Actually, you also described Edward ripping it off her, and we know it’s made out of fishnet, so… I kinda doubt she still has a shirt left to put back on.
one more time...DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE IT!
I can’t imagine not liking this story. I’m being serious. It’s a masterwork. It’s right up there with “My Immortal” in my eyes.
NO frickin flames what is the POINT of flamin ppl there is NO POINT so f off!
I think the point is to annoy the author. Which appears to be working.
Capter 3 – uncle larry
Wow! Really looking forward to the capter!
I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house. I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day. He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me!
Just me or is she a tad fixated on his hair?
Also… Tiaa isn’t the sort of girl who blends in, and she knows it. She’s aware that she’s pretty and she’s used to getting attention — both positive and negative — because of her looks. She’s also loud (she yelled at Edward when he bumped into her), and she dresses in a manner that… well, let’s just say most small-town high school students don’t dress like Tiaa. This girl isn’t ordinary and she’s well aware of it. Why the false modesty?
But I was angry at how he had made me feel, how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off, and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways, even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt.
Not only has she not met Bella yet, she hasn’t heard anyone talk about Bella either, so I don’t know how she came to the “she’s a mean girl with an ugly heart” conclusion.
But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't. Suddenly the phone range
"hello "
"hey, is that altantiana?"
"yah who is this?" I aksed.
"its Mike nooton from your class!
She hasn’t met Mike yet either, unless that happened in the deleted scenes or something. I guess, if he called her house phone, that he could have got Dave and Marie’s number out of the school directory… but this seems a little weird if they’ve literally never met.
I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush with me too morrow night maybe?
To clarify, he is talking about a beach. He means La Push. Stuffed animals are probably not involved.
Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? -
I can maybe buy that a high school boy is desperate enough to ask a random pretty girl to a party with him in the hopes that maybe it’ll kindle some sort of romance, but this is a really bad way to go about it. Asking out a girl you’ve never met is… not the best plan. Why not just frame it as inviting her along because she’s a new student and it would be a good opportunity for her to hang out and make friends? You don’t have to be explicit about your crush before you’ve even had a conversation with her.
Also I think Mike is already dating Bella’s friend Jessica, but fuck her, I guess.
"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic chearleaders and stuff?" I asked
"you mean bella and jessica's gang?
I’m gonna wait a bit to talk about how weird it is that Bella is hanging with a “gang” of cheerleaders, but like… why does Tiaa know Mike hangs out with them? Again, this is their first conversation, and (as far as we know) the first time she’s even heard of him.
Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow and not as hot as you.
He’s maybe undermining his own point there.
And they can be mean sometimes.-"
So… like anyone, then?
"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP!and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! Cos u think im' hot? Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like - I'm not THAT pretty anyways!
Oh, Tiaa, you and I were on the same page until you pulled the fake modesty card. Besides, isn’t this a bit of an overreaction? He asked you to hang out with him at the beach, it’s not like he’s proposing marriage or anything.
And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine! u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!"
What exactly does she mean by “screwed up in the brain bran”? Like, are we talking legitimate mental illness, or is this just teenage angsting? And, in either case, what exactly is her problem that makes her undateable? This is about the vaguest possible rejection, and I don’t know if she’s implying something is actually wrong with her or that she’s just Not Like Other Girls.
"I would, tia, beleive me I would! Your so beautiful you cant even imagine. Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe!
That’s your only reason? She’s pretty? Weren’t you saying something about cheerleaders being shallow a minute or two ago?
How can't you have noticed that?
Decent point, actually. If your character is dropping jaws and turning heads with her beauty, either she’s aware she’s beautiful or there’s a reason she doesn’t realize. Like… maybe Tiaa thinks the people staring at her are doing so because of how she dresses, not because they think she’s pretty. Tiaa has actually seemed pretty aware of her effect on others throughout, though, so unless she’s just playing modest around Mike for some reason this scene doesn’t make any sense.
And I don't CARE how screwed up you are! It only maked you more interesting!
He’s not even gonna ask for clarification on that?
Your cool and different and you are honest about stuff! you are right to be angry with me. I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? "
The argument he’s making would probably be way more convincing if this wasn’t, you know, their first conversation ever.
"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was.
Oh, come on.
"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts. Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen.
Yeah, I guess when compared to the weird dude who tried to fuck you in a locker room and threw a shirt at your head Mike really isn’t worth a second thought.
Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life and part of me wanted to chop his head off with a sore, a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably.
My mistake, they were in a hallway, not a locker room. Not sure if that’s better or worse, but, depending on how busy that hallway normally is, it’s probably worse.
I creamed myself.
Didn’t need to know that.
My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame. I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore.
I mean… she didn’t, really. She went along with his advances up to a point, and it doesn’t really show good judgement on her part, but he was the one acting like a “hore” in this situation. Putting the moves on a random girl in a public space when you’ve already got a girlfriend? Keep it classy, dude.
I was scared of the affect he had on me.
Effect. “Affect” is a verb. Nice sentence otherwise.
(Okay, if you’re a grammar pedant, “affect” isn’t always a verb… it can also be a noun, when we’re talking in a psychology context, which Tiaa isn’t.)
"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" mari put her head rind the door suddenly
"Ok then, have fun" I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day.
Convenient. Two less characters for the author to have to deal with.
Wait, no, oh my god, I just remembered what happens in this chapter.
"you look so pretty" she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!”
I… okay, that’s some natural dialogue.
"omg whatever" I reply. I hated it wen people say that.
Come on, girl, it’s just a compliment! Not like she’s hitting on you! At least I hope not.
I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin a short hot pink dress cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking.
I kind of like that Tiaa is a goth girl who likes bright pink. There are plenty of real-life goth girls like that, but you pretty much never see them in fanfiction.
"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? I hate to leaven you alone like this!"
You know “leaven” is what you do to bread to make it rise, right?
"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself!
Freudian slip? I mean, she is pretty embarrassing.
Marie smiles and leaves the house.
Marie doesn’t give a fuck, it seems.
"greeting a;latnaniana my names uncle larry" said uncle larry, he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face
You know he’s a bad guy because he’s ugly. That’s how it works!
"Hey - i said
"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?”
Nice to meet you too, Uncle Larry.
"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears
"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly
I’ve just thought of a fun game. There are five more chapters left. Let’s all place bets on which chapter Uncle Larry will get horribly murdered in.
I stood up and left to wash his car. I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed. I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche. He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me!
I know the implication is he’s watching her in a pervy way, but if I was making someone wash my car and I didn’t particularly like them I’d keep an eye on them too.
After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face
"wft!" i shouted
What Fuck The?
He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,. I was wet and crying and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes. He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me!
I really don’t want to be laughing at a rape scene, because rape is one of those things that’s just inherently unfunny, but… this is testing me. I mean, an entire half hour of spanking? The dramatic announcement that he began raping her after he forcibly stripped her naked and spanked her for thirty minutes, as if this is a surprise? The fact that all of this is happening in plain view of any neighbors Dave and Marie might have? Good lord. I truly do not know how to react.
I also have to wonder why Tiaa makes little attempt to fight back here. It’s pretty reasonable to freeze up when you’re violently attacked, but Tiaa has proven that she’s both capable and willing to fight off anyone she perceives as a threat (kung fu babie!) previously in the story. Is Uncle Larry too physically powerful for her to win against? We don’t really know how big he is compared to her, and Tiaa has been described as strong and fast previously. Both of them are unarmed, and, if there are neighbors, the noise should alert someone to what’s going on (Tiaa has been shouting/screaming throughout). Why is he getting away with all this? Oh, right, plot reasons.
"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop!
Shocker.
The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small.
Didn’t need to know about his dick, thanks!
I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there.
Wait… hours? This guy has impressive stamina.
I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething darkness of the midnight street. I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed.
“Seething darkness of the midnight street” is a pretty good phrase, actually. I mean, super cheesy and doesn’t really mean anything, but if this was lyrics some alt-rock band wrote I’d accept it.
Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head and my mark on my hand burned like a flame. I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,.
It was… VLODEMONT AND DA DETH DEALERS!
I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.
It was… VOLSEMORT IN A WIG AND DA DEATH DEELRS!
"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?-
Well, we all saw that one coming a mile off.
"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark.
I hope she whispered the acronym instead of saying “oh my god.” Her dad will be totally confused! Old people don’t know how acronyms work!
Next chapter
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13 Ridiculous Pickup Lines That Might Just Be Silly Enough To Work
You know whensomething isso incredibly bad that it crosses the threshold back to good?
This phenomenon can apply to movies, TV shows, songs, jokes, art, anda number of different parts of life. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head that it definitelydoesn’t apply to is food. Well, food and news.
Meeting new people can be difficult, especially if you’re shy, like me. Maybe you’re not always the smoothest person, especially when it comes to navigating the world of dating and romance. That’s OK! You’re certainly not alone.
But when you see that person across the room and know that you have to talk to him or her, that’s when you’ve got to face your fears and pull out your best pickup line.
These 13 pickup line attempts that were shared by Reddit users are absolutely ridiculous, but they may very well be silly enough to work. And if they don’t, then maybe you’re trying to pick up the wrong person!
Have you ever used a silly pickup line like any of the ones below? Did it work? Please let us know, and SHARE with your family and friends on Facebook!
[H/T: Reddit1, 2]
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1.
Wikimedia Commons / Uncredited (likely Indonesian Navy)
“Went to a [fast food place]when I was in high school. There was a guy I knew sweeping the floor when three girls walked in and he said ‘careful ladies I might just sweep you off your feet.’ Couldn’t help but laugh.” Rooster812
2.
Wikimedia Commons / Edward Hopper
“Walk up to a girl in the bar. Point at my friend standing down the bar from us? ‘Hey see my friend down there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.’” Reddit user
3.
Flickr / LabyrinthX
“A guy once walked up to me and said ‘Hey, I’d like to give you a kiss.’ He then held out a bag of Hershey’s Kisses, waited for me to take one, then walked away and left me alone. …It was honestly one of the greatest pickups I’ve ever seen.” Gluttony4
4.
Wikimedia Commons / Nordic Museum
“Are you my appendix? Because I dont understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.” robotwarlordelephant
5.
Wikimedia Commons / Tom Lennon Collection
“Me: Hey, do you mind if we take a picture together?
“Her: Uhmmm…why?!
“Me: I just want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.” thejarimteam
6.
Public Domain Pictures
“Youre so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.” Tom_Bombadill
7.
Pixabay
“Walk up and say: ‘Uh… geez, I’m terrible at this, sorry. How about you try to pick me up instead?’” Tikker_G
8.
Wikimedia Commons / Abraham Weinbaum 1890-1943
“‘Do you have any raisins?’ ‘No.’ ‘Well how about a date?’” IranianGenius
9.
Flickr / National Museum of Health and Medicine
“This worked on my now fianc:
“‘Hey, I just got this new shirt and it’s super comfy and soft. Feel this material.’girl feels your shirt.‘Know what this is made of? Boyfriend material.’” citizenc
10.
Wikimedia Commons / Bertha Wegmann
“Hey girl are you stairs? Because you take my breath away.” singh_sahil24
11.
Pixabay
“On a scale of 1-10 you are a 9 and I’m the one you need.” Reddit user
12.
Wikimedia Commons / United States Library of Congress
“Are you French? Because maDAMN.” Flatulent_Flamingo
13.
Flickr / State Library of New South Wales
“A friend of mine picked up his now-wife by walking up to her group and asking who among them had low standards.” KamenRiderY
Has a pickup line like this ever worked on you? Please SHARE with family and friends on Facebook!
Read more: http://bit.ly/2mvKIW9
from 13 Ridiculous Pickup Lines That Might Just Be Silly Enough To Work
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‘Are You The One?’ Recap: So It Begins
Jambo, morons! Welcome back to another riveting season of where the success rate is similar to the cast members combined IQs: practically non-existent. But hey, were Americans. We love shit that is destined to failwhether its reality shows or President-elects. Its our cross to bear.
ANNNNYWAYS. So MTV had a hard job to do: top the group of idiots that made up season 4. And thankfully for you, but mostly for me, they did just that. Shoutout to you MTV, you da real MVP.
Also, as many of you know, I tend to feature quotes from my loveable, yet incredibly cruel mother in these recaps. You think Im bad? She once called a woman in Starbucks a psycho bitch because she took the last of the skinny vanilla mix. True story. DM me for details. Lets begin now.
This season MTV really went for #culture and decided to have the show in the Dominican Republic. Even reality shows get island fever, I guess. I mean, you can really only throw so many group orgys/luaus so many times on one show.
Ryan Devlin, the host who you feel bad for like 99% of the time, meets up with the cast and is like you guys all suck at and theyve all been trained to say relationships. Of course they all forget their one fucking line and just sound like they are saying random shit.
RYAN: You guys suck at
CASTMATE 1: Relationships!
CASTMATE 2: Tomato!
CASTMATE 3: Unicorn piss!
CASTMATE 4: 9/11 was a hoax!
We meet Tyranny (Mom Quote: IS HER NAME TRANNY!?! theyre so cute when they are mildly offensive) says that all of her boyfriends have either cheated on her or knocked other girls up. In the words of Donald Trump: Sad! Very Unfair!
Theres Jaylan who used to be a loser, hit the gym, now gets pussy. Male Laney Boggs. Tale as old as time. Moving on.
Taylor: hottest girl on the show easily, talks about how her dad would kill some of the men she has dated, low-key concerned for her safety and the safety of others.
Theres Joey, the povo as fuck part-time garbage man who spent his last remaining dollars on a gaudy watch. Obviously a very smart investor. Didnt know sent kids on scholarship. Im just happy hes honest about being a garbage man and doesnt try and be like Im a sanitation assistant. Not that any of them know what sanitation means.
Joey is def hot though10/10 would bang, just to get hook up with blue collar worker off my bucket list.
REAL PICTURE OF JOEY:
THE FIRST DATE RULES
Ryan explains about how they do comprehensive interviews and questionnaires to develop and algorithm that eventually finds their match. You know poor Joey didnt know what was happening after comprehensive.
This season, theres another twist: there are 11 guys and 11 girls, but they only get ten chances. Obviously MTV was giving away too much money with this show, so they made more couples. What? Youre thinking it.
For the first date, MTV acted like a bunch of fucking narcs and sent bios to the contestants’ parents so mom and dad can pick who they think is a match. Everyone is like, Mom dont fuck this up for me.
My mom: If you were ever on this show I would literally never acknowledge you again. (Fair enough.)
Joeys mom picks Carolina, whos like okay cool, whatever. She doesnt know hes a garbage man yet, so give her a break.
Hannah’swho is from my hometown, hey girlfamily picks Oswaldo, a self-described horny genius. Welp, I think a line like that means its time for a shot. Brb.
Anyway, Hannah is like I would rather eat my own spleen then date Oswaldo. (paraphrase)
Giannas mom chose Hayden and they start hugging and are like . Fucking spare me. The other fucking losers have to send these couples to the truth booth after their date.
BACK TO THE HOUSE
The castmates get to their dungeon for the next few months and drinks are flowing and shirts are off. I remember my first sip of alcohol.
Cassandra is drunk and is wanting to touch everyones face. She like Im so flirty when Im drunk which is a weird way of saying Im a hoe.
Its Mikes birthday today. Hes like its my birthday so someone fuck me. *plays Birthday Sex* *stares aggressively at all the women*
Mike describes himself as a typical Staten Island boy. His hobbies include moisturizing, mispronouncing half the English language and fapping off to girls who look like Snooki.
Ozzy is a local, so you know he is dirty as fuck. Kathryn goes to Florida State, you know shes hot as fuck, but also borderline brain-dead.
Shes like I WANT TO BE A TEACHER! and its like, sure ya do sweetie, and I want to be a fucking astronaut. Stick to what you know and continue being a TFM girl.
Ozzy and Kathryn both want to be teachers. Snoreeeeee. Shes already like Im in lovewell folks, weve met the stage-5 clinger for the season.
Michael the douchebagnot be confused with Mike, the little man from Staten Islandis laying it on THICK to Taylor and she is not having it. Taylor has officially become my favorite on the show so far.
MICHAEL:Hey pretty lady
TAYLOR:Ew seriously? Girls with asses like mine do not talk to guys with faces like yours.
Shes like youre so full of shit and Im like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK, TAYLOR.
Hayden and Gianna are talking about how they both have dogs and both like corn and other pretty basic shit and decide theyre going to be together forever.
GIANNA: I breathe air
HAYDEN: No way, I breathe air!!!
They both have the flyover state bond, with Hayden being from Indiana and Gianna being from Ohio. Its always cute to see two people from middle America bond and discuss the fact that they fucked the rest of us over. True love.
Everyone is like Hayden and Gianna are a match, even though theyve all known each other for 3 seconds.
Joey the trash man is telling people that hes going to be a carpenter, much like a 3rd grader would say Mommy, Im going to be a superhero! Shannon brings me the biggest laugh of the night by asking him to do her carpets, clearly not knowing what a carpenter is. Shit like that makes me miss my sorority.
Ozzy is chain-smoking and being like I DONT WANT TO BE THE OLD ME. Aka, me on New Years Eve.
Kathryn and Ozzy are drunk as fuck and being flirty and going WE WANT TO HELP KIDS!!!! You stay the fuck away from my future children, Rush-Boobs and Ozzy.
Michael is talking to Gianna and starts telling a sob story about how he was chubby and he blossomed. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one. No seriously, every fucking season they have one of these guys.
MTV CASTING: Ok we need at least one hick, one former fat dude, one ripped black guy and one oddly feminine guy. Search the fucking country.
Michael starts asking Gianna about her open-heart surgery, gets bored halfway through and just starts sucking her face. Okay. Well that escalated quickly. Quote from mom: He doesnt give a shit about her faulty heart. Hes trying to get laid. Profound.
Rush-Boobs wants to make Ozzy jealous and starts low-key hooking up with Mike. Fantastic logic, cant wait for you to educate our youth.
Then we meet Andre, who has trust issues because the girl he liked since 8th grade literally sat on his friends lap. Meanwhile, Tyrannys boyfriends are having children, but OKAY. #dramatic
Alicia is the perpetual sidepiece, aka every womans enemy.
Ozzy and Kathryn already think they are a match and Ozzy forgive Rush-Boobs for hooking up with Mike because hes a cheater too, so this is karma. Wow, how fucking zen of you.
THE DATE
Hayden dresses in camo for the date and Gianna is like You can take the boy out of Indiana, but you cant make him dress like a normal fucking human.
Its very clear Gianna is over Hayden, whereas Hayden hasnt been this excited since he attended a Donald Trump rally last summer.
GIANNA: FML
HAYDEN: *excitedly whispers* Build that wall! Build that wall!
Joey just looks like a trash man, like, just in life. He has resting garbage man face.
Hannah does not like Oswaldo, its very obvious. Shes going to call her parents and demand a raise in her monthly allowance for making her suffer through this bullshit.
Gianna starts kissing Hayden and shes like Ill give him a chance. How fucking noble of you.
Carolina and Joey are talking about their parents and Joey tells her that he would never cheat on a girl and Carolina damn near creams her pants. They kiss and meanwhile the whole audience is wondering does she know hes a trash man? That dramatic irony, doe.
THE TRUTH BOOTH
ShockerHayden and Gianna to the truth booth. Michael is like WE MADE OUT LAST NIGHT but Im not jealous.
MICHAEL: Im not even mad!
NARRATOR: Michael was, in fact, very mad.
Ah, but there is a truth booth twist! They can trade in truth booth and add $150,000 to their prize. But if they take the money then Hayden and Gianna can never get sent back together.
The house is torn. Im torn. Im all out of faith, this is how I feel.
*Starts Twitter poll asking people what they would do*
They decide not to take the trade, which my mom and I both agree is stupid.
And lookie here: No match. So thats done.
Michael is thrilled. My mom thinks he looks like a baby rat. Cannot un-see that.
Gianna gives a speech basically saying that she didnt feel it the whole time and everyone is like okay cool thanks for telling us, *whispers* ya fuckin bitch.
We also very quickly meet Kam, who has a rotation of men because #feminism. And Edward, who has a chest tattoo. Thats it for now.
Gianna goes to hang out with Michael and hes over it. He makes her cry, I dont really care, blah blah blah, moves on with life. Gianna and Michael are going to be the annoying couple this season. Buckle up.
MATCH CEREMONY
This season they have the blackout rule again but this time they cut the winnings in half if they blackout. Thats way harsh, Tai.
First is Kam and Eddy. Shes building up her newest rotation.
Taylor picks Tyler, who is hot. Wait what? Why did they not introduce the hot guy? What is this fuckery, MTV? They also sound like they could be identical twins.
Kari, dont know her yet so whatever, picks little man Mike.
Casandra picks Kaylen.
Caroline picks Joey.
Tyranny and Oswaldo. Can I just call you Tee? Im going to call you Tee, because Im one letter away from being low-key fucked up.
Giannas dumb ass is up and shes like I HAVE A GREAT CONNECTION WITH MICHAEL so obviously shes going to pick Ozzy.
Tee and Alicia are pissed and threatening to curb stomp this bitch. Fuck yes, this is what I signed up for. Gianna is like Leave me alone everyone, Im proving this to Michael! Literally all you proved was that youre crazy AND stupid.
Hannah picks Michael.
Alicia picks Andre.
Rush-Boobs picks Derek, who is also hot as fuck. Also, Rush-Boobs laugh reminds me of Kitty from. I know. Its all you can think about now.
Shannon, who btw really needs her carpets cleaned, picks Hayden.
Well this is excitingthey get two matches. Not bad for week one. They dont make me want to kill myselfyet.
Ryan gives the follow your heart speech that we hear every fucking episode and the cast goes back to the house to turn the fuck up.
So far, off to an interesting start. Gotta say, good-looking cast this season. Dumb as rocks, but good-looking. Come back next week to see what other shit I can talk about my peers who are doing far worse than I am. Peace, bitches.
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2),a.prevBody{display:none;}
Read more: http://betches.co/2itgoq2
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