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#like him being gay =/= no one else respects him
bylertruther · 1 year
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very interesting how will is unfortunately considered this fandom's uwu soft boy (even if many claim otherwise) bc going from reading 8373663373 fics where will is talked over, not taken seriously, doesn’t believe in himself at all, or is even considered for a conversation on supernatural events is sooooooooo .... not canon at all LMAO. in s2, he's their spy. in s3, will speaks his mind abt the mind flayer, explains their situation, corrects them when they make an incorrect assumption, and says NO we ARE GOING TO and HAVE to kill this fucking clown srry max 🤚 and doesn't back down whenever someone has doubts. they don't look to el to explain things or to strategize an atttack, they look to will. like ur little soft uwu boy is the one grabbing these thick ass chains saying "yeah these'll do 😤💪" and confidently talking about boiling someone alive ffs. and they all go with it, ESPECIALLY mike who backs him up and shoots anyone down if they have any concern or doubt. it doesn't matter bc these are fictional characters, but like .... i just think it's Funny is all i jus think it's Fascinating how some people perceive him in ways that the canon material itself clearly disproves but like 🤐
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yknow i enjoy tedependent as much as the next guy, and i get the temptation, i truly do, but i think implying or outright saying trent imploded his career and told the truth about giving up his source only or mainly because he had romantic feelings for ted takes away from what actually happened there?? like. him being willing to throw away his career and in such a spectacular way (not just quitting but actually probably fucking his chances of working further as a journalist at all, i gather) wasn't necessarily a rom-com moment in the sense that it was for ted or about his feelings for ted alone. it was about himself, his own growing dissatisfaction with the toxic world of sports journalism and the kind of writing he was doing, the desire for "something deeper". that's not to say there's no tedependent take on this, or that hypothetical feelings for ted couldn't or didn't play a role. but like, it's also about his own character development, even if it is driven by ted (as many of the characters' developments are)
#it is true that it might not have happened had it been someone else#but not necessarily like.#the potential romantic feelings and this stem from the same thing (ted being ted) but like#one doesnt cause the other#does that make sense?#like. ted (being... well‚ ted) inspires trent to be better#and the situation being that trent was basically put in the position where he had to hurt someone he both respects and like#clearly just likes as a person (romantically or not) is what made him apparently finally decide enough was enough#(AFTER writing the article‚ notably‚ so that might lend credence to the idea of trent choosing to be the one to write it#in order to make it somewhat kinder--however you feel about that)#anyway all this to say i do love tedependent though and it's also extremely funny if like#trent is explaining this to a family member or smth like 'and i just. being put in that position where i have to hurt someone i respect#someone i genuinely like and think is a good person. that just really gave me some perspective#on how i've been dissatisfied with my work and my job for a while. and i think i want something deeper#something more meaningful and fulfilling. something i can truly be proud of' you know all dramatic moving soundtrack#and then the music cuts and they're like#'hm and also your big embarrassing gay crush on him?' and hes like '[sigh] yes and also my big embarrassing gay crush on him.'#what if i made this a silly little oneshot. what then#trent crimm
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aro-culture-is · 1 year
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Aro culture is wanting to complain about not getting to see much of a favourite celebrity in a TV series after a certain point until the new season next year, but not wanting people to think that means you have a crush on them. Alternatively, aro culture is wanting to gush about celebrities you like without people automatically assuming it's a crush.
.
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thrilling-oneway · 6 months
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Also shout out to the person who said in the tags of that airi post who said that half the debates in this fandom are over gender or sexuality because that’s true and it pisses me off immensely
#all the debates over whether VBS is gay coded or not and that their fans are biphobic if they don’t like m/f vbs pissed me off enough to#make me leave the fandom one of the times i left it. it’s also the reason I dont really like interacting with the fandom anymore LMAO#the thing is I don’t think it really matters lol#like mizuki is canonically trans but no one else is and I genuinely don’t get why people get so heated when ppl don’t have the same gender#hcs as them like it’s a HC not everyone has the same one as you. obviously this happens with airi a lot but with the boys being hc’d as#tfem as well? like I’ve seen people get SO up in it about them being called boys and it’s like full respect for your HC but#…they canonically are?#sexuality is a bit more complex bc while nothing is canon there definitely ARE things implied and since nothing is canon I don’t think it#really matters what ur HC is but at least be able to recognise what’s in the game? like kohane and minori showing attraction to multiple#girls but never to any guys. or an being canonically interested in kohane romantically or bad dogs being implied soulmates#and like it doesn’t matter what you ship or HC but loads of ppl try to claim this doesn’t exist for the sake of winning internet arguments#which is just So stupid#specifically i see this in the wxs fandom a lot over ppl HCing them as not mspec. especially with rui like ive seen loads of arguments#caused by people pointing out that he is actually gay-coded and then people trying to counter that. usually with shipping as evidence lol#and like sure ship him with emu or nene who cares but the coding is there so maybe don’t pretend it isn’t#this fandom is weird there’s like two sides to it of ‘everyone is bi and if you don’t HC that or like m/f ships ur biphobic’ and then#there’s ‘every character should be exclusively gay and if you disagree ur homophobic’#both of them are wrong#also i doubt clpl gives a shit about any of this#tag ramble over this fandom annoys me
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235uranium · 10 months
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not to be back on my bullshit already but like. ford talking about how he doesn't understand romance in journal 3 quite literally does not prove he's ace in any sense of the definition unless you assume only ace people struggle with traditional relationship models (literally not fucking true??) or that aro people are always/usually ace (I am beating you with a broom). it's evidence towards him being aro if anything!
but even then I think that's an accidental meaning in the writing. the passage exists to show how detached ford is from the sheer idea of family and how he doesn't understand fiddleford's attachment to his wife and son! it's also a subtle reason to show why the pines family might not notice anything after the portal incident (i.e- ford didn't talk to his parents or sister much, if at all, after moving to gravity falls.)
it's even more frustrating when ppl mention that line... and then make him alloace?????
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kendallroygf · 1 year
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your tags in every ken/stewy post always make me laugh because yes- stewy definitely calls his grandma and starts going on a lengthy rant about ken and occasionally shittalking the roys. she doesn’t know what he’s on about half the time but you’re right, the main takeaway is always ‘make dua sadegh:)’ he’s still gonna call and complain though. never beaten those down bad allegations since high school im afraid.
FOR REALLLLL HSFHJHGGGH. i just know he spent half the time of his weekly phone calls to his grandmother complaining about his best friend kendall and his fucked up family and i just know that every female relative in stewy’s life is sooo doting that they’re just like awwww he has a friend mashallah🥰 so cute. even when it’s decidedly not ‘cute’ anymore for stewy to be this obsessed with his best friend. like it doesn’t even cross their mind to think stewy might be a tad not normal about kendall. five year old stewy was like . i wish me and kendall wud be best fwends forevar and when we grow up we live together and have a kitty:) and stewy’s maman is like. awww say inshallah sadegh🥰.
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dawningfairytale · 2 years
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thinking about how (canonically) the religious characters and the queer characters in glee were entirely separate. the closest we really have is santana with her abuela but even then the religious aspect isn't a struggle for her (i do think that canonically she isn't religious based on her "i don't agree with all your beliefs either" on the wedding episode but from what i've heard it's a struggle for non-religious people to accept their own sexuality if they're from religious households). i'm surprised by this because ryan murphy is a gay man who was raised catholic? and he didn't discuss that in conservative small town ohio that would be an element of struggle for the four (again, canonical) queer characters in his show?
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“I don’t think I’m straight.”
Steve had reached that conclusion exactly ten seconds before saying it out loud. Laying upside down on the couch of his house with his best friend draping her legs on top of him.
“Is that what you were thinking about?” Robin asked, not lifting her eyes from her book.
“Yeah, it just makes sense.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Steve hummed thoughtfully. Did he want to talk about it? Was it important enough? Did it change anything?
“I feel the same,” he said. “I thought being gay would feel different.” For a second, Steve was sure Robin would tell him that was a stupid thing to think.
“Are you gay?” Robin asked instead, because she is Robin. She was able to ask something in a judgemental tone without being judgy.
“I'm not straight.” he repeated.
“Pretty sure there are more than two options.” She explained with a joking tone. It was lucky, she thought, that she found a zine hidden in a library when she visited her aunt in Indianapolis.
“How do I know what I am?”
“I don't know, actually,” she said, putting her book down. “I've never seen what the big deal with men is.” Robin explained, crossing her arms. “That's how I knew.”
“I definitely see the big deal with women,” Steve responded simply.
“What about men?”
“I think I always saw the big deal, I just pretended it did not exist.” Steve explained.
“Oh, sweet old denial.” She teased. “How do you feel about this?”
“I would feel better if I had better taste.” Steve deadpanned, causing Robin to laugh and kick him. He slid out of the sofa dramatically to the floor. “Kicking me while I'm most vulnerable, Buckley? I see your game.”
“I have been bidding my time to find your weak spot, Harrington.” Robin joked lightly, jabbing Steve’s legs with her foot. “You will fall, Steven!”
Steve retaliated by pulling her into the floor.
“Look who's falling now?”
“Whatever,” Robin pushed herself to sit upward, sitting on the floor with her back against the sofa. Steve mimicked her with his back against the coffee table. “Who is the guy?” she asked.
“I don't wanna tell you,” Steve whispered, more out of respect for their tradition than anything else. “You’ll make fun of me.”
“Of course I will,” she whispered back. Steve reached for her hand to intertwine their fingers and she held him without batting an eye. “That’s kinda my job as your soulmate.” Steve chuckled. “I have to make sure whoever it is doesn’t mess up our vibe, you know?” He didn’t.
“I’m sure he won’t."
"Are you really gonna make me guess?" Steve lit up at the suggestion. Before he could speak, Robin continued "I'm not gonna guess, just tell me."
"Are you afraid of getting it wrong and looking like a fool?" He teased.
"It's Eddie." She answered less than a second later.
Steve did not respond, shocked at her quick response.
"Who's the fool now, Steve?" The smile on her face was infectious to Steve, who poker her with his foot.
"How did you do that?"
"By having eyes."
"What do you think?" She closed her eyes and hummed as Steve waited for her response.
"I think he looks at you the same way you look at him."
"I should ask him out."
"I can be your wingman!" She exclaimed.
"Oh, my god, yes!"
"We have to make a plan," Robin yelled. She jumped to her feet, letting go of Steve's hand, and dashed up the stairs. "I'm going to get some paper."
Steve stayed behind, sitting more comfortably on the floor, and removing the magazines they had on the coffee table off.
They made a plan, that ended in more of a disaster which is a story for another time. There is only one thing that is important.
Eddie said yes.
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Sexism in TOS: Worst Offender, or Progressive in Retrospect in Comparison?
I see a lot of folks claim that TOS was the most sexist of the Star Trek shows by a landslide -- and while I agree that it definitely suffered from the sexism of the times, I also have other perspectives to share to give some food for thought.
I am of course not insinuating that TOS isn't sexist -- it is, but I have to ask folks to consider the breadth and depth of Berman's sexism in his run and ask yourself: Was Gene Roddenberry genuinely more sexist in his storytelling and delivery than Rick Berman?
I'm not telling you to feel one way or the other, but all I ask is that you hear me out and consider some perspectives and make your own balanced assessments. Nobody is obligated to share my opinion, but it means a lot just to have folks hear it and see their thoughts on the subject. So here is what I was originally responding to:
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Someone's response to this photo:
"Devil's advocate. This was a part of the popular form of cardio during the production time of TNG. Yes, it was heavily sexualised by men, but so is literally every other way women work out. Men have been caught taking pictures of women while trying to do dead lifts, running on tracks and working on sled machines. They post them online to share too. The fact is, there is no way a woman can be shown working out without it going there. And yeah,t hat includes the combat forms of workout they do in Star Trek. Just look at how Dax dresses when she spars with Worf. Yes, they're dating, but still, same goes when 7 does and any other female.
Aerobics routines like this were made dirty and cringy. This was what women wore then by and large. This is how the workout was done. We make it cringy."
My response to them:
"I respect your take, but I disagree on a few fronts.
The miniskirt was chosen by the TOS female cast, not the male cast, specifically requested by Grace LW and affirmed by Nichelle and Majel who would go on to vehemently defend the miniskirt over the years as comfortable and embraced by them.
Grace said it was comfortable and seen as a symbol of female sexual empowerment during the 60s and thought it would be a progressive garment (and turns out that it was, as it was later adapted and worn by male crew as a skant on TNG) -- FYI those were designed by a gay man and Gene approved them.
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This was also supposed to be Spock's TMP outfit:
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Literally lingerie.
We saw both Uhura (who saves Kirk in from Marlena Mirror Mirror) and Yeoman Landon (the first to initiate combat with a classic Kirk-esque kick to help the Captain being attacked in The Apple) carry out their combat training in their Starfleet uniforms without ever being made to change into any ridiculous workout gear.
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In fact, I'd argue Jim Kirk was sexualized even more than the ladies of the week on the show and I saw his naked body more than anyone else's on a fairly regular basis. He wore red yoga tights while topless in Charlie X while the women wore full length gymnastic suits that covered their entire body. If anything, it went out of its way to avoid sexualizing women practicing fitness in those scenes and instead focused on Kirk.
Gene confessed that he asked to have Shatner filmed in suggestive/provocative ways to "give something to the ladies", so he -- as he said -- liked to "film him walking away" or have him conveniently busting out of his shirts in just about every episode as it were, because Shatner apparently had great assets. LOL
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Gene made an effort to at least sexualize both if he was going to sexualize one, and he carried that attitude forward in wanting the m/m and f/f scenes in the background on Risa for TNG. He also insisted that the men and women wear skimpy outfits on THAT TNG planet. You know the one. LOL I mean the dudes even had on less than the women:
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Gene also gave permission to K/S shippers to have their conventions back in the 70s when he was asked for permission. Gene and Nimoy felt with all the skimpy outfits they had the ladies wear, why not let the ladies and gay men have their fun, too? It's how we ended up with moments like this:
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Yes, those are two people dressed up as Kirk and Spock's penises doing interpretive dance. Gene didn't give two damns. LOL
In my eyes, that was a very progressive take on Gene's part for the 60s. It was actually PARAMOUNT STUDIOS who had the big problem with K/S stories and vehemently tried to shut them down. Gene literally hired slash authors on his payroll and even had several slash stories/writers published in his official Star Trek books (The New Voyages & The New Voyages II).
I feel I saw Uhura and women in TOS engaged in more physical combat/altercations defending themselves that Troi or Bev were shown holding their own.
In fact, Kirk used to get furious when someone would "dress up" his female crew members without their consent (Trelane episode, Shore Leave episode) because like his male crew members, he wanted them to be treated professionally and to also have his male crew act professionally.
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Berman brought some of his own personal biases into Star Trek that in some ways regressed it. While TOS had blatant sexism and was called on it time and again, that show was made in the 60s -- a solid 21 years before TNG. We as a modern audience understood why some of it was cringe/sexist due to the time period -- look at any other media coming out in the 60s and Star Trek was miles ahead of what other shows were doing.
Compare that to Berman who was churning sexist stuff out when women like Starbuck and Scully were simultaneously on screen on other programs airing, and we had already had Sigourney Weaver and other strong women in Holywood playing respectful roles.
In my eyes, there was no need of the sexism seen in TNG but especially VOY and ENT. There was no excuse for it when other shows were writing women far better and a number of those weren't even set in the future like Trek was, making it age even faster due to having those dated perspectives frequently highlighted.
In the Center Seat documentary as well as "The Fifty Year Mission" book you will find cast members, writers and other studio alumni who attest to this. Some discussions from "The Fifty Year Mission":
"First, Berman was supposed to have been a real sleaze ball . . . According to Terry Farrel, he would go on constantly about how her breasts weren't big enough, how she should do something about it, and how his secretary was a good example to follow as she had huge breasts. She even had to have fittings to get larger bras, and that was all done at his behest.
Later Berman and Braga developed a name for Jeri Ryan's character prior Seven of Nine. They originally called the character "perineum" which if you look it up it is the area between the anus and the scrotum. Later they floated the name "6 of 9". I mean, what does it tell you about where these two were coming from in the development of this character if they had names like that put forward in all seriousness for her?"
Gene Roddenberry also had some of his own more progressive ideas for TNG cut or watered down by Berman. Roddenberry agreed TNG should have homosexual relationships and representation at a con in the 80s and insisted on it in a meeting with his writers -- something Berman later would not honor. Gene wanted the AIDS episode, showing m/m and f/f in the Riza scenes -- these were some of Roddenberry's requests to include in TNG that Berman later stonewalled.
Berman's era was sadly dated by his own misogynist bias, IMO, to the point that it can somewhat hurt the shows he worked on through his cringe egoism and blatant disrespect toward his female cast.
There is a reason why Gene could keep female actresses working with him and Berman had a revolving door of women that he couldn't seem to keep working for him -- he was abhorrent to women, on and off set. Gene wasn't perfect at all, he had a lot of issues himself -- but Berman was a whole other level. Just look at what he did to poor Jolene Blalock, Marina Sirtis and his toxic commenting on her body weight which exacerbated her struggles with eating disorders, or how he treated and talked to Terry Farrell.
Anyway, just some food for thought. I'm not saying anyone is wrong regarding a take like that, but there are a variety of ways to look at this. Gene Roddenberry isn't a saint by any means, but it definitely bothers me how folks will tote the Berman era as if it were the lesser of two evils or the more progressive depiction of women when I felt there were far more concerning portrayals of women in his era with far less justification.
(P.S: I don't event want to go near the sheer amount of "creepy old dude/villain preys on innocent/naïve/scared young woman or little girl" stories there were in Berman's era, either. But that's a whole other can of worms I can write about in a part 2.)
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girlokwhatever · 11 days
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can we get a Paige x reader where Paige is like coming to terms with being gay or like coming out pleasee 🙌
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✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。awakening,,
paige bueckers x fem!reader
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paige vividly remembers the day she realized you were her gay awakening.
the two of you met in a human development class. you came in late on the first day and sat down right next to her, some of your hair sprawled right onto her computer. you immediately apologized, pulling your hair into a bun and sending her a soft smile. obviously it wasn’t a big deal and she told you that, helping to ease your nerves.
you thought she was pretty, hair also pulled back in a bun and sat comfortably in a sweatsuit. she smiled at you with such reassurance it melted you, maybe she knew how nervous you were.
you and paige quickly became close. you worked on assignments together, went out to lunch after class, and she even introduced you to all her basketball friends. you also introduced her to yours, hiding your blush when your friends sent you suggestive glances. but it wasn’t like that, paige was just your friend. you didn’t even think she was gay. whenever the two of you talked about your past relationships, she only ever talked about guys.
it was your first year at uconn, so you were definitely trying to just navigate your way around your first year. you also really missed your parents. when paige got her injury during a game and couldn’t play anymore, you saw how much it affected her. you remembered telling her all about your family and she said they sound super fun to be around, so you asked her if she wanted to go back home with you.
she said yes.
everyone loved her, to say the least. she felt so welcomed in your home. your mom even made her a ‘get well soon’ cake. your younger siblings clung to her, asking to play basketball and video games.
paige really loved your family.
you carried her bag to your room and told her that you’ll have to share a room since there’s no other space. you even offered to pile up blankets on the floor and sleep on that, but she refused to let you do that. i mean, it wasn’t really a big deal. you’ve shared a bed before.
you both took your respective sides of the bed, but paige’s heart was pounding for some reason and she couldn’t stop thinking about you. your scent was everywhere, permeating her senses and making her mind all fuzzy.
that’s when it happened. that’s when she realized she was so in love with you. so enamored by you that she hadn’t thought about anyone else since she met you. but she quickly pushed those thoughts back down. she knew you didn’t like her. there was this guy back at school that you’d been talking about and things seemed to be going pretty well. so instead of talking you to sleep and leaning into your warmth, paige turned her back to you and faced the cold-front.
after you guys got back to school things felt different.
you were going to one of the team’s games wearing a nika mühl shirt since paige couldn’t really play at the moment. when she saw, she insisted you change to her jersey. you said no because nika was also your friend, but she really kept pushing it.
“this is stupid.” she heard you mutter it under your breath, probably hoping she wouldn’t hear. you ended up not changing, and paige gave you the silent treatment. she started to regret introducing you to her friends, she only wanted to you care about her.
another incident happened when paige met the guy you’d been talking to, jeremy.
he was hanging out at your dorm with you watching a movie. Godzilla or something. it was alright, but you couldn’t really say you were having fun. he was really nice and funny, but he wasn’t really what you were looking for. maybe he’d be more fitting as a friend.
paige, not knowing you were hanging out with him, walked straight into your dorm blabbing about how she bought you snacks for your movie night. the same movie night she said to cancel because she couldn’t make it.
“these were the last two bags they had and i got so freaking excited-“ she’s looking up at you, letting her jaw fall before she quickly catches it. she didn’t know he’d be here with his arm draped around you. she didn’t even know you two were still talking.
paige had been telling herself that she didn’t like you ever since that night at your house. she’s not into you and definitely not gay. but now, in this moment, she feels that mask slipping away and being taken over by hurt and anger. you must’ve been glad she canceled plans so that you could hang out with your boy toy.
“paige.. this is, um. this is jeremy. jere, this is paige.”
jere. she’s mentally rolling her eyes but putting a smile on her face. you’re walking towards her in the kitchen but when she notices him following behind you all she can think about is stepping back and far away from this situation.
“hey, nice to meet you.” he’s holding his hand out for paige to shake, and she does. all while feigning her perfect smile. you see right past her though.
“nice to meet you too jimmy.”
“jeremy.”
“oh, yeah, my bad, jeremy.”
she catches you glaring at her and begins to feel a little bad, but this guy doesn’t deserve your attention and your time. she knows you’re too good for him. she’s really just looking out for you, being your best friend. because that’s what you two are. best friends.
“well jeremy-“
“is it ok if i just, steal her away for awhile? really important stuff i gotta tell her.”
a flood of relief washes over you because he’s nodding and kissing your cheek as he walks out the door. you wipe his kiss away and take a seat on one of the stools against the counter. you can’t believe the audacity on paige, but you’re silently thanking her for getting rid of him.
“what’s going on? what’s so important that you have to tell me right now?”
“oh, that was just an excuse to get him out.”
“what?!”
“well i could tell you didn’t want him here so..” she didn’t actually know if that was true, but she wanted him gone. and now he is. the grin on her face angers you, even though she’s right. how smug shes being about it rubs you the wrong way and you’re almost embarrassed because she’s right—you didn’t want him here.
“aw thanks paigey. i really wanted you to kick out my date.”
paige wants to scream in your face about how much she likes—no, loves you. she refrains though. she knows you don’t feel the same and doesn’t want to lose your friendship. the friendship that has held her together when all she felt like doing was falling apart.
she goes on the defensive because she doesn’t like your tone or the fake smile you’re giving her. she just wants to lay down with you and catch up on life, maybe ask why you didn’t tell her about him. but as soon as she starts talking, she regrets it.
“sorry i was trying to be a good friend. sorry as soon as i said i couldn’t make it you decided to have your fuck buddy over to take my place.”
“are you being serious? you canceled on me! and by the way, he’s not my fuck buddy.”
“then what is he? your boyfriend?”
you don’t really know what to say because she has a point, he’s not your boyfriend. in your heart, he’s nothing to you romantically, but you don’t want to give her a satisfaction of being right.
“i don’t know, maybe! he fucks me like he loves me.”
you’re walking away from her and into your room, searching for your pajamas. you switch your clothes out and you hear her footsteps tracing yours.
she stands there watching you change, feeling her whole body light up. what does that even mean, he fucks you like he loves you?
it’s when her stomach sinks that she knows you’re all she cares about, and she’s not afraid to admit it anymore. she’s never felt this type of jealously before. she’s never been in love like this before either. with a girl. is this what it’s like?
“what does that mean?”
you grow hot under her gaze, wondering why it’s bothering you now that you’re half naked in front of her when it’s never bothered you before. she’s got this solemn expression on her face and it feels like she trying to look into your brain.
“what does it matter to you?”
you realize you didn’t like jeremy because you really just wanted paige. it hurts that you’ll never have her and you’ll just have to find someone else, hoping they can make you feel a fraction of the way she makes you feel. you realize with paige that even if you’re arguing, you’ll always be happy to see her. to feel her presence in any room. she’s always saying the stupidest things and making you smile.
paige fears the same thing. is she going to have to settle for someone else that isn’t you? all because it took her so long to be ok with who she is and how you make her feel. even now, your anger all directed towards her, she admires and loves you. you’re so beautiful and genuine. she remembers when you two went out last month, probably the last time you hung out without arguing, and you had the biggest smile on your face. she realizes now all this is because of her. she argues with you and pushes you away because she’s too drawn to you. if she keeps you close, she can’t stay away.
“because.”
“because? because what, paige?”
“because i really love you.” she pauses, trying to find the wording so she doesn’t fuck this up. you’re staring at her, wide eyes, and you think deep down maybe it’s as more than friends.
“i really love you. more than anyone else i think. more than i’ve ever loved a girl, or a guy. i love you in the type of way where i can’t stay away from you and i have this weird feeling whenever i see you. like butterflies. i love you in the typa way where i want to hold you and kiss you, and spend all of my time with you cause when you’re not around all i do is think about you. even when you’re around, i can’t think about anything else. i.. yeah. i know that i love you.”
“paige..”
“and i hate that you like that guy. jimmy or whatever. i hate him because you like him. i wish i could be him, i wish you felt that way about me and not him. i’ve never liked a girl before, especially not fallen in love with one, but you changed that for me. when you flung your hair all over my damn computer the first time we met, even then i had it out for you, just didn’t know it yet.”
her word vomit concludes and you’re both shocked. she’s shocked she admitted it and you’re shocked she feels that way. about you, of all people. you wish you had recorded it so you can listen to it on repeat forever.
as soon as you open your mouth to speak, she closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the door frame. she didn’t really think about the repercussions too hard and now she has to prepare herself for the rejection.
“paige, i love you too. as more than a friend. i never actually slept with jeremy because i just wanted you. i never said anything about it because i thought you weren’t into girls and-“
she’s got you wrapped around her, clinging to you and she’s kissing you with so much need it might consume her. your lips are soft and moving against hers so perfectly she thinks it might be a dream. she’ll wake up and realize none of it was real. because that’s what you are to her, a dream.
you pull away and look at her, foreheads pressed together. she’s looking at you too, a stupid smile on her face like she’s just won the lottery. in her own special way, she has.
“love you so much, you have no idea.”
she’s pulling you back into a kiss, cupping your face with gentle hands and pulling you impossibly closer. in this moment, you feel heaven’s eternal sun shine on you and paige, melting your souls together and making you feel all warm and bubbly.
“so, i’m gonna do this better later i promise, but will you be my girlfriend?”
“yeah, yes, i will.”
she’s kissing you again and now she’s certain it’s real. she feels you holding her and knows it’s real. she curses herself for not just admitting how she felt sooner, but it ended up with her here in your embrace, so how bad could it really be?
✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩୧⋆。🕯. -ʚɞ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THIS!!
living for these requests atm
also i hope you guys listened to the song, it’s so gay awakening core
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skylarsblue · 1 year
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✦I have more C.o.D Quotes✦
Gaz: How’s your head? Y/N: Well, I haven’t had any complaints yet. Gaz: …excuse me? Y/N: Oh uh, I think I’ll live-
-- (Somewhere in Greece with a fuck ton of cats) Ghost, watching Price sneeze every five seconds: What a catastrophe. Gaz: No. Y/N: PFFT- Soap: Stop, no, don’t encourage him. Y/N: Ahem! Right, right. Not funny. Ghost: I am purrfectly capable of being funny. Y/N: *struggling* Gaz: Sometimes I wish you didn’t have a mouth.
-- Just a scene of Y/N taking out a bottle of whiskey, unscrewing they cap, then putting one of those lid caps on. (Like the ones you have on those fancy Gatorades) Taking a huge swig and closing the cap on it as Soap watches in amusement, & Price in fear.
-- Ghost: Quit messing with my hand. Soap: Quit messing with my hair! Y/N: Quit being gay. Gaz: PFFFT Y/N: Both problems solved.
-- Y/N, on the comms: You have thirteen seconds before the building fucking explodes you hot topic wannabe- Ghost: … Y/N: And you green gumball son of a bitch. Gaz: Wha-?! Soap: *WHEEZE* Y/N: You have done nothing but ruin my life; I hope you both die.
-- Soap, Gaz, & Y/N: *cackling* Laswell, losing at poker: I miss my wife, Price. Price: *places down cards* Laswell: I miss my wife.
-- Ghost, overstimulated & a lil drunk: AHHHHHH MY BONES Y/N: *frantically getting headphones* Soap, drunk: *wheeze* Gaz: Ah. I know I should’ve- *dies coughing* Soap: *more wheezing*
-- Graves *kicks in door* WHO POSTED MY NUDES ON TWITTER DOT COM?! Y/N: SUCK IT, BITCH BOY!! Alejandro: *aggressively slapping his leg while silently laughing* Rudy: *pointing and laughing* Valeria, in handcuffs: Ha, dumbass.
-- Graves: Bitch, you are gonna get in this car or I’m popping between ya eyes! Valeria: Hey, I know you. I saw your dick on Twitter! Graves: NOOOOOO Y/N: AHAHA!
-- Graves: C’mon Johnn- Y/N: *chucks a rock at Graves’ head* Graves: OW, WHY?! Y/N: NO JOHNNY FOR YOU! He goes by Soap and we respect that! Graves: Ghost calls him that! Y/N: CAUSE GHOST HAS PERMISSION, you EARN the right to Johnny! And I will be damned if anyone else earns the right before me. I been working my ass off to get the Johnny privilege and you will NOT get it for free! Soap, who’s just been standing there the whole time: *leans to Gaz* Have they actually been taking it that seriously? Gaz: Yeah. They’ve also been working real hard to try and get the right to call Captain “John”. Shoulda seen their face when I said they can call me Kyle. Soap: That’s…really sweet, I’ll give’em permission later. Gaz: Why not now? Soap: I wanna see that bastard get chewed out some more.
-- Y/N, perched on Price’s desk: Captain. Price: *sigh* Y/N: Captain I crave violence.
-- Ghost: Your family line deserves to die with you, only shame it didn’t end before you. Graves: ….I just sat down!
-- Y/N: You’re like…the human incarnation of crumbs in the bed. Graves: Oh c’MON THAT’S REAL MEAN Ghost: It’s true though. Y/N: The kinda crumbs that you keep swiping away but somehow they never leave- Graves: Alright! You know what- Soap: Like getting in bed after going to the beach. Gaz: Sand in the bed, yeah. Feels like that when he talks. Graves: I’M JUST GONNA FUCKIN LEAVE! Y/N: *watches him go* Annnd now the sheets have been changed. Ghost: Clean from filth. Alejandro: You all are so cruel and it’s perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
-- Gaz: Things Gucci with you? Y/N: It’s Goodwill at best, my guy. Price: I don’t know what this means but I feel like I should be concerned.
-- (Mild NSFW Jokie Time) Gaz: You alright? You been zoned out. Y/N: Hm? Nah I’m good, just having depraved thoughts. Gaz: Depraved, you say? Soap: Oh do tell. Y/N: You just…you ever see someone and think “they have pretty eyes”. And that’s normal. But then the little devil in the back of ya skull goes “yeah they’d look good rolled back”. Or am I just a whore? Gaz: That is depraved. Soap: Got a good point though.
-- Y/N: Ooo! Look! Old pictures of Captain, this one’s dated. You would’ve been…19 in this one. Lemme s-…… Gaz: Lemme see! ….. Price: What? Y/N: …..you were a whore, weren’t you captain? Gaz: That’s the face of an arrogant bastard who fucks regularly. Price: I…might’ve been a bit of a playboy. Y/N: And I would’ve fallen for it you god damn bastard, no ones fACE SHOULD BE THAT NICE!
-- Valeria, painting her nails: I might kill my ex, not the best idea. His new girlfriend’s next- Alejandro: ….. Rudy: ….should I be worried? Alejandro: Move away quietly and pray.
-- Ghost: For the record this is self destructive. Soap, chugging his 5th energy drink in the past hour: For the record, I’m aware of that.
-- MILF!Y/N: Boys. Bed, now. I wanna talk to your captain. Price: No, boys stay. Please stay- Y/N: Go. Price: Stay. The boys: *concern, panic, perhaps a bit of fear* Y/N: Go! Price: Stay! Y/N: You go! Soap: *speed walking* Price: Soap, stay! Y/N: NOW! Gaz: *slowly backing away* Price: Gaz, don’t move! Y/N: YOU GO! Price: SIMON- Ghost: *leaving*
-- Ghost: What was Plan A? Soap: …don’t fuck up. Ghost: And what was Plan B? Gaz: Don’t fuck up Plan A. Ghost: And what did you do? Y/N: …fucked up plan a- Ghost: YOU FUCKED UP PLAN A-
-- Ghost: What’s rule number one? Soap, with dynamite: Party! Ghost: NO! No, not party! No!
-- Graves: How about after this, we get a drink? Y/N: …I would rather gouge out my eyes and blindly navigate a way to turn them into earrings than ever be anywhere alone with you. Soap, grinning: Ooooo brutal! Ghost: Karma.
-- Ghost: Wait…Johnny’s into me? Like…he LIKES me?? Gaz: Oh Si…you poor, sad, dense mother fucker.
-- Ghost: At least nothing of importance was lost. Laswell: …Graves was kidnapped. Ghost: I know. I said what I said. Y/N: Nothing of value was lost but we did shed off some trash! Ghost: Precisely.
-- Ghost: These lights make me wanna pull my eyes out and eat them. Medic!Y/N: *turns lights off in favor of a lamp* …alright, so you’re autistic, good to know.
-- Ghost: Should I get my reading glasses? Y/N: Oh no no, this isn’t an eye test. It’s a GAY test. Now tell me, *holds up picture of Farah & Graves; Price being 1* Number one, or number two? Ghost: Number one?… Y/N: Interesting. *holds up Farah & Soap, Soap being 2* Okay now number one, or number two? Ghost: *gasp* Y/N: Number two, right? Ghost: Maybe I am gay?
-- Waitress: So, I’ve gotta ask, I’m really curious. 141: ? Waitress: Have any of you ever used like…the military language in bed? Soap: Naaaah. Y/N: No, I don’t- PFFFT, I- *wheeze* I’m sorry I’m imagining it- Gaz: *biting back laughs* Y/N: “You gonna come?” Affirmative. *laughs* Soap: *WHEEZE* Gaz: *cackling* Price: Oh lord- Gaz, snickering: Picking up speed. Y/N: COPY- *Laughter x100* The entire team: *giggling like hyenas* Ghost: Uh, that’s a no. I don’t think we’ve done that.
-- Price: *smiles at Soap & Gaz being stupid* Y/N: I like when you smile. Price: …huh? Y/N: Your smile, I like it. Makes your eyes crinkle up and your beard makes you look like a cuddly bear. You should smile more. Price, internally on the verge of tears: *fond sigh* Get back to drills, soldier. Y/N: Yes sir!
-- Ghost: *minding his fucking business* Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: *chokes on air* Pardon? Y/N: You have pretty eyes. Ghost: No I-…they’re just brown. Y/N: So? Your eyes don’t have to be blue or green to be pretty. They’re pretty because they’re expressive, and when the sun hits them they look like syrup. I like’em best when we’re all at a bar. They get brighter then. Ghost: Ghost: …stop talking, sergeant. Y/N: Copy that, L.T! <3
-- Gaz: *laughing at something on his phone* Y/N: You have a great laugh. Gaz: Hm? Oh…really? Y/N: Mhm. It’s cute, comes from your chest. I’ve never heard you laugh in anyway that’s not genuine. Really fills the room with joy. Gaz: Dude, you’re gonna make me all soft with words like that. Y/N: All according to plan!
-- Soap: *rambling about something* Y/N: *listening intently* Soap: Then-…ah, I been talkin’ at you this whole time, eh? Should probably quiet down. Y/N: No no, I like your voice! Soap: Eh? Y/N: It’s super energetic and loud, and when you tell a joke or talk about something you love, it’s like you can hear your smile. It’s really fun to listen to. I like when you talk! Soap: *inhale* You’re gonna make me cry- Y/N: I have tissues!
-- König: *fidgeting* Y/N: *takes his hands* You have beautiful hands. König: Wh- Huh?? No they are not. Y/N: They are too! König: Nien, they’re rough and calloused, they break a lot of things… Y/N: They also pet stray cats, make the best coffee on base, and create crotchet works of art. They also mend wounds pretty well. Yeah they fire guns but that doesn’t make them less beautiful. König: *he’s actually crying* …Danke. Y/N: Don’t mention it!
-- Rudy: *rolling his shoulder* Y/N: Anyone ever tell you that you have great shoulders? Rudy: Hm? Oh uh…no, I don’t believe so. Y/N: Well you do! Rudy: Ah, gracias. When I was younger I wanted them to be broader, sometimes now I wish they were more narrow. Can never really be happy with’em, you know? Y/N: Well I think you should be. They’re strong! *gently pats his shoulders* They hold a lot of weight, metaphorically and physically. And even when they’re weighed down, you shoulder it and keep moving. You’re real good at that! I like your shoulders. Rudy, prepared to die for them: …gracias. Y/N: No problem! Now c’mon, the guys are waitin’ for us!
-- Y/N: You have good collarbones. Alejandro: What was that? Y/N: Sorry, I know that’s real specific, but I think your collarbones are pretty. It’s like…the rest of you is bulky and strong, rugged. Then you have these delicate bones. I’m probably being too poetic but it’s like a subtle nod to your gentler side, just, built into your body. Alejandro: …you have a lovely way with words, camarada. Y/N: Thank you! I appreciate that!!
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donutdisturblivball · 10 months
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after rewatching nimona four times since its release (because yes, this movie is just that good), i caught a few little details that just make the whole experience so much better. so, incoming SPOILER ALERT, don’t read this if you haven’t watched the movie yet. speaking of, why the fuck haven’t you?? go watch the movie (and read the comic while you’re at it, some sites offer it for free), then come back and enjoy.
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1. When the Squire gives Ballister his sword, he clearly realizes something’s wrong with it. He’s trained with it for so long that he knew that something was off just by holding it. This detail is something you wouldn’t pay much attention to when you first watch the film, but it’s there to make you realize something is a little off, especially when the Squire attempts to show him the video, but it also has plausible deniability so you could chalk it up to being something else (ie. the Squire wanting a picture with Ballister).
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2. This sneaky line from this sneaky bitch.
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3. Nimona tells us exactly how the movie ends. (Sorta. In a sense. The phoenix rises from the ashes and overthrows the government.)
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4. You can see Nimona sneaking into the jail where Ballister is being kept.
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5. Mini Ballister and Ambrosius! I think a few others have pointed this out before, but I only noticed it upon my second rewatch. (A little surprised younger Ambrosius didn’t have the Asian bob. That’s like a right of passage.)
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6. Nimona’s train backstory versus her flashback.
7. During Nimona’s nightmare on the couch, she turns into a wolf, and then a cat. In her flashback, as the villagers attack her, she turns into a cat and then a wolf. It could be because having her turn into anything else would be too big for the couch, but if this is intentional, then it means Nimona was having a nightmare of that day.
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8. This. Visually, the sparks are sorta similar, and in both instances, Ballister has lost something irreplaceable. I think this one might be a reach and may not be intentional, but my mind connected the two scenes and wouldn’t let go, so.
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Honorable mention: the gay and trans flags above Ballister and Nimona respectively in that one scene. iykyk. I didn’t add it because 1. I think many other people have brought it up and 2. the mobile app is limiting me to 10 images. Anyway, I love this movie and its comic SO much and I’m so glad that it made it to our screens from the box of scrapped movies that could have been great if people (namely, executives) gave them a chance. There is so much love, care, and passion put into this movie, and you can really sense that this was made for its audience and its author, for its story and not only for the money it could make. This movie is metal as fuck, so GO STREAM IT!!
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raptorific · 6 months
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The thing people really misunderstand when they write posts where Hank Hill has very modern and progressive views on sexuality and gender identity is exactly *why* he'd feel the way he does. It's not that he'd be bigoted, or that he'd think it was Wrong or Not Okay, he would, first and foremost, think it was Not His Business. Hank is someone who doesn't want to know anyone's business or for anybody to stick their nose in his. Half of the episodes of that show revolve around him being reluctantly dragged into someone else's situation that he thinks everybody ought to respect them enough to trust that they're capable of sorting it out without anybody meddling, until he's forced to get involved
He would certainly be, and frequently is, against Bigotry when he encounters it! But if you told Hank Hill you were gay or trans or whatever, he would respond the same way he canonically responds when one of his straight coworkers or friends talks to him about their marital problems: he pretends he does not see it. He might wish them good luck with it because that's good manners. He will likely then politely pretend the conversation never happened, unless and until the issue is forced.
But if you then turn up on his doorstep and tell him your parents kicked you out, disapproving of your identity, he would let you crash on his couch until your welcome (quickly) wore out at which point he would either teach your parents tolerance by threatening to kick your ass, or find you stable housing and employment. Either way, and I cannot stress this enough, his motive for doing this would be along the lines of "I want my dang couch back" or "you always use up all the hot water." Hank respects people's right to do as they please, and prefers it not involve him
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oh another little detail about Nimona that fucked me up:
I thought Bal refusing to call Nimona a monster, instead saying “You know what you are”, was him struggling with caring about her but also fearing her. After further thought, no.
It’s respectability politics.
He’s a cis, presumably gay man, who lived his whole life in the same confines as Ambrosius. The same rules, the same “don’t be Weird, don’t be Defiant, Kill Monsters On Sight”. Just because he was expelled for being accused of being the wrong kind of gay murder doesn’t mean he isn’t still chockful of “I need to be accepted by the people in power.”
Which always, always results in trying to be more straight than straight people, more cis than the cis. It’s part of why the ‘queer is a slur’ bullshit spread so far. “Monster” replaces “queer” in that scene. Bal can’t bring himself to call his friend a word that he has since learned is painful and was used to hurt her, but he still means it. He won’t let it out of his mouth, but he still means it, with the same spitting hate as everyone else.
Monster. Queer. Faggot. Dyke. Tranny.
Bal still hated That One Part Of Her. He loved Nimona, his friend and ally, but she was Monster, and just like all the “LGB without the T” fuckheads, he was scared Nimona’s transness would drag him down even further. He still wanted to assimilate, be accepted.
It’s impossible to do that. We are not different. Cis people are not “more acceptable” than trans. Gays and lesbians are not “more acceptable” than bi, pan, and ace people. We’re all monsters to the people who hate us. Stop polishing their boots with your tongue and fight.
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pyro-les · 2 months
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Regina George X Reader
Warnings: none
"You, yeah you, come over here" Regina called from across the hall. Cady looking around unsure before slowly walking towards her. "Why don't I know you?".
"I'm new, I just moved here from Kenya" cady responds happily.
"Shut up, shut up" Regina replies
"I didn't say anything" Cady says with a confused smile causing Regina to giggle before slowly looking off somewhere behind Cady. "You're really pretty"
Surprised Cady happily responds "thanks".
"So you agree, you think you're really pretty?" Regina says turning her attention back towards Regina.
Gretchen joins in saying "You're an international student,that is so fetch!".
"What is fetch?" Regina says slowly turning to gretchen with a slightly judgemental look on her face.
Gretchen hurriedly justifies "it's like slang from an old movie. Juno I think".
Karen joins the conversation saying "Have you ever touched a tiger?".
"No,those aren't indigenous to Kenya" cady replies seemingly happy to be talking about Kenya.
"Cause that's one of my life goals. To not touch a tiger" Karen slowly responds.
"Hey new girl!" Jason cuts In "wanna see a trick? I can guess any girls bra size, just jump one time".
They all turn to him with varies looks of surprise and disgust except for Karen who happily says "ooo do me do me!" While Gretchen calls out "ew Jason!".
Before he can respond Regina cuts in harshly "Oh my god Jason, you do not come to my party with gretchen then skeeze on the new girl right in front of me. Do you wanna have sex with him?"
"Oh, no thank you." Cady says after a small moment, taken aback by Regina's blunt response.
Regina gives her a small smile before turning back to Jason with a harsher gaze "Then it's settled, no body thinks you're funny and that thing you do where you lower your voice is making people really sad." She then turns out to the rest of the hall which had seemingly been watching the whole interaction. "Excuse me anyone who wants Jason Weems to go back to his normal voice raise your hand"
Suddenly everyone in the hall puts up their hand, some nonchalant and some excited to be included in something related to the infamous plastics.
"Bitch"
"Wow, you're really going to get noticed around here. We should help you" Regina says with a small smile. "Can you give us some privacy for a second?" she asks.
Cady turns around towards Janis and Damien who are mouthing to her "we have your food" her attention is drawn back to the plastics as she hears some of their whispers.
"Shes nice, I'm sure she wouldn't tell anyone"
"People won't question it as much"
"Just ask her"
Cady doesn't know what they mean but she doesn't want to intrude so she returns her attention back up to the rest of the room. She sees a girl quickly looking up in her direction before returning to her phone typing something. Cady then hears Regina say "Okay so we don't normally do this but,you're invited to sit with us for the rest of the week".
"Oh no I'm fine,it's ok" she starts to say, wanting to go back to Janis and Damien.
"On Wednesdays we wear pink!" Karen happily says leaving no room for her to disagree.
~~~~
"Yeah he's almost too gay to function" Cady says giggling slightly before realising saying that might not have been the best idea. Before she can take it back Gretchen says "sounds like someone else we know". Karen laughs as Regina giggles with a light blush on her face.
After a short while Cady asks "do you write about everyone in here?".
"Not everyone. Just people who get on our nerves, it's a good way to get out feelings without anyone being hurt" Regina explains.
"And we would never write about friends in it! Because friends are completely deserving of our respect and confidentiality. I mean you would never tell anyone anything we told you, would you?" Gretchen adds on.
Cady nods "of course, you can tell me anything!".
"Good because some secrets are secrets for a reason, otherwise someone could get hurt." Regina states a sudden seriousness to her tone.
After looking up confused for awhile Karen suddenly turns to Gretchen and says "we have secrets?".
Shaking her head Gretchen reasons "of course! You know the fact that Regina-"
"It doesn't matter she'll find out soon enough anyway. For now why don't you give Cady the shoes." Regina cuts her off, turning the conversation into something else.
"The shoes? Oh yeah! Come on Cady." Gretchen says before leading Cady Into the closet.
Karen and Regina start to talk for awhile until the doorbell rings and Regina excitedly runs to get it.
"Hi baby" Regina says as she pulls Y/N Immediately into a hug who mumbles a small "I missed you" Into Regina's chest.
"I missed you too" she responds as she pulls back placing a small kiss on the top of Y/N's head before grabbing her hand and leading her upstairs to see the others.
"Y/N hi!" Karen exclaims seemingly shocked to see her as the couple enter Regina's room.
"Hiya" Y/N responds as she sits at the top of the bed right next to Regina. "Where's Gretchen?" She asks realising the girl was no where to be seen and neither was the new girl.
"I'm here! I was just giving Cady some shoes and having a bit of a chat with her" Gretchen responds as she walks out of the closet with Cady trailing slightly behind her looking a bit awkward.
"Oh I didn't know you had another friend. Im Cady, nice to meet you." Cady said thinking back to Damien and Janis' run down of the plastics and not remembering them saying anything else about a fourth plastic.
"I've heard quite a bit about you, I'm Y/N" the girl says with a smile.
"My girlfriend" Regina adds on as she puts a possessive arm around Y/Ns shoulders who happily leans into her touch.
Cady looks a but shocked before smiling and saying "Oh I didn't know you were dating anyone. Why weren't you at lunch?"
"People in northshore aren't exactly the most accepting with, well anything really. Especially when it comes to the most beautiful popular girl in school dating a loner theatre kid." Y/N says a bit sadly.
"But that's ridiculous, what does that matter to other people" Cady says quite annoyed. She doesn't understand why people can't just mind their own business.
"Everything here is perfectly set out, there's a clear hierarchy and rules on who can do what and if you make one wrong move you immediately fall down. You're lucky Cady, you're new so no one knows who you are, you could be anything, you could be at the top or bottom of the hierarchy. Luckily you have us to help you get to the top"
After a moment of contemplation Cady decides to ask "why did you decide to let me sit with you? I mean I don't exactly scream popular, I didn't even know schools had this kind of hierarchy.".
"Well exactly that, you seemed lost and we wanted to help. Besides it'll help with our plan" Regina responds like it's nothing.
"You're plan?" Cady asks confused.
"To help Y/N sit with us of course!" Gretchen answers "if we were to bring a loser into our group now everyone would question it but if we wait awhile then it won't be too weird because we already would've invited you.".
"Do not call my girlfriend a loser!" Regina yells.
Pulling Regina back towards her Y/N speaks softly to her "Hey hey baby she didn't mean it like that. She's just trying to say that that's what people think and I'm fine with that." Regina grumbles a small sorry to Gretchen before leaning back into the embrace of her girlfriend.
Watching the sweet interactions between the two Cady couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous of the two,she wished Aaron would look at her the way Regina looked at Y/N. But it also made her question, what would she tell Janis? She had promised her new friend she would tell her everything the plastics had said but she had also sworn confidentiality to Regina, what would she do?
~~~~~
A/N:
I finally finished writing the first part of this fic, it's nor the longest chapter but there should be more:)
I hope everyone enjoyed it. This is my first time writing a fanfic so if it's not the best I apologise.
Thank you so much for reading!💜
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whetstonefires · 1 year
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So like, I'm pretty darn sure Mo Xuanyu did not actually make a pass at Jin Guangyao.
For several reasons, like for one thing hitting on your own actual brother who is also your boss is genuinely insane behavior, in a way nothing else we know about the guy actually matches, other than his reputation for being crazy which mostly seems to originate from the same point as the sexual harassment allegations. which tracks because even with rampant societal homophobia, that's such a crazy thing to do people would question it if it didn't come paired with the information that he's insane.
Then there's the fact that if that had actually happened, there's basically no way master spin artist jgy would have let it get out, because actually experiencing that would trigger his sense-of-uncleanliness issues so hard.
But what we see is that somehow Everyone Knows that it happened, but also that Jin Guangyao totally didn't tell anyone, because he's too merciful and kind and respectable. It just mysteriously leaked somehow that this private scandal happened.
(Also, to step up a meta level, the gay goth kid who was never quite accepted into his own family and wound up self-destructing was in fact guilty of the homophobic allegations spread by the powerful man who manipulates reputation for personal advantage? This is not the kind of story where that would be true. The thematic dissonance is too much.)
The only way it's believable that mxy made a move on jgy is if jgy spent a long time maneuvering him into it, hinting and deniably flirting and just generally being maximum skeeze, just a huge elaborate incestuous honeypot, just to bait a 'ruined reputation' trap. Which makes no sense at all.
I don't think jgy is necessarily above that kind of creepy grooming behavior but I do think he would hate it, and definitely wouldn't resort to it when sowing rumors would work just as well. and expose him to less risk.
So Mo Xuanyu didn't do it.
So what we've got is that Jin Guangyao systematically obliterated this kid's credibility.
No one would listen to anything he said after being expelled in that sort of context, especially anything against Jin Guangyao, whom he now has obvious motive to smear. This was a preemptive strike against some kind of leak.
It's exactly the kind of thing jgy would do--it targets individual vulnerability, leverages the weak points in Mo Xuanyu's reputation into gaping chasms, in a way that associates jgy with scandal but makes him personally look better. also shows signs of jgy projecting his own issues onto others. The MO fits.
And his motive is easy to construct: Mo Xuanyu had had access to his secrets, such as Wei Wuxian's manuscripts and probably a lot of the other ugly shit. And Jin Guangyao needed him silenced, due to some thing or other, but as with SiSi didn't want to have to kill him.
(A fascinating thing about jgy as a villain is the moments where he yields to sentiment pretty consistently contribute to his destruction.)
But then we come around to: so why didn't Mo Xuanyu sic Wei Wuxian on Jin Guangyao, then?
In cql wwx does have a curse cut for jgy, to keep him in the plot and create an additional open storyline to resolve, since viewers are gonna be denied romantic catharsis, but in cql the homophobia plotline isn't there because all the gay is censored, and mxy allegedly hit on qin su instead. which is less utterly unhinged to do though still big wtf.
In the book, mxy summoned the Yiling Patriarch just to kill the Mos. (Which he didn't even do lmao.)
So I've always been sort of poking at that, like if you're destroying your own soul to get revenge, why spare the person who deliberately ruined your life?
Even if he had done the thing, it was weird! Maybe even weirder; if you're in a headspace where making sexual advances anyone should be able to predict are unwelcome seems like a good idea in the first place, there's a pretty good chance getting punished for them isn't going to make you think you were in the wrong. Otoh there is a zone where he could have done it, gotten the backlash, cleared his head a bit, realized it was fucked up to do, and therefore not held a grudge in that particular direction, but it's still weird. (And also he definitely didn't do the thing.)
But if he was so angry, why was he not angry at Jin Guangyao? Who definitely kicked him out of the Sect, all else aside?
And then I looked at the passage in Jin sect where we swap to Jin Ling's pov and he tells us one of the few first-hand things we hear about Mo Xuanyu: He thought Jin Guangyao was the most amazing person in the whole world. He adored him.
And being betrayed and rejected by him didn't turn that into resentment. Even though he resented the other side of his family enough to want them gratuitously murdered.
So you know what I think happened?
I think Mo Xuanyu thinks it was an honest misunderstanding. That Jin Guangyao, his idol, falsely concluded that his gay little brother was creeping on him based on a misinterpretation of his admiring behavior, and was appropriately revolted. And that Mo Xuanyu doesn't blame him for it. He blames himself.
He went back to his mother's family to rot genuinely feeling like the ruination of his life was his own fault for being creepy. And died like that.
Because of that, to a considerable extent. How can you bend any of your will to saving yourself, to getting out of an abusive situation and seeking a better one, when you don't think you deserve to be saved?
Fucks me up.
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