#like holy fuck 3 times a charm huh? literally fuck off

[fiomeras]

I usually kept quiet about it but i definitely know im not the only one they're going to be ripping off of. Its bad enough they just chose to take entire designs of ocs i worked hard on its even worse that i never got any thing from it. I never told anyone but Its one of the big reasons i really stopped posting original sky content altogether and only let a select few friends see my art of it now.

Putting that shitty tos in mind, If a new season comes and the cosmetics look similar theres a high chance it mightve been a fanartists design. If they did it to me they're definitely doing it to other folks.

#i talk #idk if ill ever recover from this shit but i think people must know. my relationship with sky is already tattered but this is the last nail #like holy fuck 3 times a charm huh? literally fuck off

[longhands-the-second]

Volume 2 thoughts, otherwise known as Disorganized Simping On Main. No i will not add pictures i think the lack of context makes it funny

1-

Oh fucking hell is it legato time already? It’s so EARLY. I mean we’d get to the cool stuff faster but SHIT.

Goofiest vash panel spotted

What that mouth d- *gets shot*

Holy shit he’s really different here huh. The depression is seriously obvious; it's wild.

That and he’s like. Extra pretty when he’s angry. Might be because those panels get more love and care put into them because there’s less of them so far.

We’re decapitating people now. DAMN that’s fucking heavy. We’re not even to maximum yet.

Tonally the manga is so much darker but I’m kind of eating it right the fuck up.

I wonder if there’s any significance to the one dollar coins? Those are impossible to find now, let alone however many centuries in the future they are (I think it was something like 400 years? Maybe that was just stampede.)

2-

EY YO COLORED PAGES???

Girl what the fuck-

I want to color this whole goddamn chapter but i have RESPONSIBILITIES and shit (<- unemployed and taking one (1) summer class)

The fucking smile. The switch. I yelled out loud. God they are so fucked up.

The fangs make an appearance. Lovely. Horrible circumstances though.

3-

He looks so fucking tired. Angry, too, but so tired. I love the simmering rage we get here, it’s missing from every other version tbh.

I always forget how absurdly capable he is. That’s the point, I guess, but man. Man.

OH SHIT THE ARM

Knives is so… wrong. In such a fascinating way though. The way he seems happy that Rem managed to save everyone, not for the people but for her- that’s so fucked and i am enamored with his specific brand of bullshit.

4-

I have so many questions about his scars. Like rule of cool or whatever but I need specifics. Why do they look like that in particular? What purpose do the implants serve etc etc?

I didn’t even register that they don’t know it’s a prosthetic. That had to freak them out so bad

His reasoning is interesting here. It’s not about his love for humanity at all, that comes later. He’s doing this for Rem. His vibes here are more like someone struggling to hold himself to what she believed in instead of actually, truly believing in it. It makes him more real, I think.

Maybe it’s the nature of the medium, but everybody seems much more introspective. Meryl specifically sticks out to me.

God he takes it so personally when people are all Dog Eat Dog. I can’t blame him.

Woah. Panty shot. (Side note i can’t WAIT to see him without the coat.)

Hunting he says. What’s he gonna do when he catches him? (Rhetorical)

5-

i read this in class so i didn’t take notes oops

6-

legato is unironically terrifying in the worst way.

I have never been a Huge Wolfwood Enjoyer. However i am charmed by his silly faces.

If i didn’t know better i’d call him a loser (affectionate)

GAY. HOLY SHIT

“come, let’s take ibuprofen together”

I love how 98, if anything, toned this interaction down.

Why the FUCK is midvalley built like a damn brick wall

7-

Vash is so. So fucking cute. My god i am the gayest mf alive.

I guess everyone is on this page but i'm fixated on confused vash he’s got me enamored

“DO NOT ENGAGE. I REPEAT, DO NOT FUCKING ENGAGE.”

I totally didn’t register that his arm was still gone until just now oops

Oh this is perspective porn. Love that shit

I hate to admit this but there’s something about seeing Vash freaked out that makes me grin. It might be like “WOAH SOMETHING IS HAPPENING.” Or i’ve just gone off the deep end.

Is. Is he blushing. Oh my god is he embarrassed-

I have to wonder why the bible is so popular here. Just based on the circumstances? I was never really sure if the events were literal in the trigun universe or not

VASHUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am normal about him)

(It is NOT my fault he’s in those pants)

8-

I have a whole essay to write on vash and bodily autonomy but i'm gonna finish reading the manga first- other people have probably said it earlier and better than me.

Oh. Shit. That sure didn’t happen in 98 huh.

I find that every character has gotten more interesting in the manga. This might be because i’m already familiar with their anime counterparts. Wolfwood though, im starting to understand why trimax people like him so much.

The plants are so freaky here fr

CREATURE VASH

this is all kinds of fucked up and based on other posts i’ve seen this week it literally only gets worse from here

I hate how easy it is to empathize with everyone in this situation. I do appreciate Vash pretty much dropping the mask here, like this is what’s under all of the antics and his reputation.

He looks way too good in that top for the situation at hand smh i am SO distracted

Tbh had i not already committed to what i did i would’ve done these pages they’re so pretty

Does wolfwood know anything about this or is it all news to him???

God you can see the actual chunk of shoulder he’s missing from this angle

I do wonder how much of Knives’ concern is him genuinely feeling bad and how much is just like. Manipulation.

God this is so fucked up

On a lighter note the belts bursting from his arm are kind of a cool visual. Shit’s gotta hurt though.

MAN. FUCKING HELL.

EXTRAS

Day in day out- This made me laugh out loud. It also made me sad. No notes.

Pilot- Different vash definitely. My mans would not upskirt a girl like that.

I love seeing concept shit this is wonderful.

Time for trimax now i guess shit fuck goddamn

#trigunbookclub

[tedturneriscrazy]

Another Saturday, another episode! Let's take a look at Keeping Up A-fear-ances!

(Good lord I'm starting to make myself sound like some sort of content creator)

Oh, okay, we're just starting at that level of intensity, huh?

Chest gem origins

Gwendolyn not being satisfied with managing the curse and determined to cure it? I'm sure this won't be a real world allegory in the slightest.

Oh, so Eda literally just stumbles upon the portal? I could call that contrived, but honestly it's not dissimilar to how Dipper found Journal 3. For that matter, the entirety of Lord of the Rings is predicated on an accidental discovery like this and nobody gave Tolkien shit about it.

Was the eye on the portal cracked in previous episodes? I don't remember.

Seems like Gwen is the "well-meaning but ultimately misguided" flavor of mom.

As an aside, I am now quite curious about how Eda's first trip to the human realm went. Maybe a future episode will cover it? At any rate, I smell a new favorite fic prompt.

The screaming alarms in the Demon Realm will never not be funny to me.

Also, that is a worrying number of hearts. Eda is straight up murdering these poor creatures.

For some reason the gold fang being removable never occurred to me as a possibility, and now I feel like a kid who's discovered that Santa isn't real.

Oh hey, the new outfit! I'm also impressed how close to symmetrical that tearing was.

I need to get a screencap of Luz sleeping on that stack of books because she is adorable.

Also, staying up all night researching? This season seems determined to completely eradicate the notion of Luz being dumb, and I am here for it.

I have a feeling the Hexside mug will be making its way to The Mystery Shack in the near future.

Lilith's first experience with transformation and she seems understandably horrified.

The curse acting stronger when stressed? That seems...important.

Ah, so the dismemberment is from the curse! A surprisingly useful side effect from what we've seen so far.

Can I just say that I appreciate how Eda's reaction to Lilith's first taste of transformation is immediate remedy, explanation, and reassurance? And doesn't make any snarky comments along the lines of "now you know what it's like?" Whatever happened in that week and a half must have been cathartic as hell.

"Always. Always curious." Luz is the TOH fandom.

(Also, Eda, you know she is, considering how much she went on about your "mysterious past" at the Covention)

"Magic bird tornado?!" Luz has a way with words that's just *chef's kiss*.

"Gwendolyn." Eda is already just fucking done.

"MOM?!?!" Jeez, Lilith, you're just now hearing all this?

I was charmed by how motherly Gwen was acting toward Eda, but then she kinda just...dismissed Lilith, and now I'm somehwat less charmed.

(Sweet flea as a term of endearment is kinda cute, though might have some unfortunate implications depending on how you want to interpret it)

"Who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" OH WE GOING FOR THE ANTI-VAXXERS NOW YESSSS

Luz and Lilith's reaction to that whole exchange is priceless.

Everyone's perspective here makes perfect sense for who they are and what they've been through.

Poor Lilith. Her cursing Eda is beginning to make more sense.

Ah, thus begins the collaboration.

"We'll be consulting someone very special." Why does that seem so...ominous?

Is there anyone who watched this episode for the first time whose bullshit detector didn't go off immediately when Gwen mentioned finding someone who promised a cure?

Heh, Palm Stings.

Nonbelievers will be blinded by the power of the tome? I'm sure they will be, Wartlop.

I must say, as something of a scientist myself (okay that's not true, I'm a QA tech for a food manufacturer, but I do have a chemistry degree), I am 100% here for the swings being taken at faith healing/"miracle" cures/anti-vaxxers in this episode

Oh, we Wile E. Coyote now, huh?

Also, interesting how much apple blood is being played up in this episode.

Lilith please you're projecting your mommy issues on a literal child

OH WE REALLY JUST WILE E. COYOTE HUH?

You're right, Luz, Gwen's bicep game is goals.

(Somewhat disappointed the scars are from questing and not beastkeeping, but eh)

Why do I get the feeling there's gonna be a future episode where everybody stages an intervention for Eda's apple blood problem?

"Those feathers mean we're driving the beast out" Gwen no

Hooty is holding the brain cell? Oh no...

If that ice cream came from the Night Market it would explain why Lilith sounds drunk.

(Side note: I can't be the only one getting flashbacks to Mermista's ice cream binge, right? Different context, but still)

"Abomi-berry" "Franken fruit" "Key slime pie" These are A+ flavor names.

Oh, there's the transformation...

I must say that whole segment kinda rubbed me the wrong way. The way King's opinion on his dad was changed seemed...I don't know how to describe it. I get that they needed a trigger for Lilith's transformation, but honestly if any part of the episode is contrived it's this.

"¡It really is that good!" So that's what an accent slip in written form looks like. (The upside down exclamation point is used in Spanish, in case anyone didn't know)

I keep half expecting Eda to say "Beep! Beep!" at this point.

Luz is finally asking questions. Took long enough.

Ah, the classic "moving the goal posts to extract more money from a desparate family member" technique.

Luz channeling Scorpion, we love to see it.

There is an exquisite irony in Eda's mom being scammed, I must say.

Ah, so that's where the elixirs went. Dammit, Gwen.

Luz is definitely thinking "Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

Beast!Lilith is massive.

"Sweet flea?" Gwen just realized she done goofed.

"I can see you still need a little time." God Luz is so fucking smart.

The con revealed.

OH DAMN SCARY MAMA

(Also I am terrified of bees/wasps, so extra scary mama in my book)

The scam is revealed, goblins, getting back into the Wartlop disguise is kinda pointless.

She joined the Beast Keeping coven entirely to cure the curse? That's dedication. A shame you couldn't have spared some of that for Lilith.

Still, I do like badass scary mama Gwen. I'd be down to see more of that.

Owl Beast fight!

I am slayed by the fact that the portraits are now officially a recurring gag 😂

Aw, here's The Moment™️

"My turn to drive" Does this imply cars are a thing on the Boiling Isles after all?

Lilith crying almost immediately💔 She was holding onto a lot of pain.

Yes, King, she was trying to do her best. I mean, road to hell or whatever, but at least Gwen got there in the end.

WHAT?! YOU'RE BREAKING UP LULU AND HOOTCIFER?!?!?!?

Terrace, that's just cruel. (Worthless brownie points for whoever understands that reference)

No, seriously, you can't just give me my favorite inter-character relationship in the series after Lumity and just...take it away like that, come on! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I know I should remark on how Lilith told Gwen about the circumstances of the curse, how Gwen rightfully accepted responsibility for the whole situation, and how Luz finds the big hair aspirational, but...NOOOO DON'T END THE ADVENTURES OF LULU AND HOOTCIFER WHYYYYYYYYY💔😭💔😭💔😭

"BUT I CAN'T HOLD A PEN!"

I will never emotionally recover from this.

Okay, I think I got that out of my system. Anyway...

Not the only human, huh? Cue the "Belos is a human" theorists going into maximum overdrive.

That said, a tantalizing lore dump.

We certainly do have a lot of garbage. Some of it even holds office. HEY-O!

Setting up the next episode, too. Continuity!

Camp's over, huh? That means it's been three months.

Way to misdirect with Camila, guys. That said, we have now seen Camila cry and I HATE it. (In the right way, I think)

WHAT THE FUCK

HOLY SHIT

CREEPY LUZ IS REAL WHAT

OWJEIWHQGIWWOPQ

(It's hard to keysmash on a phone, even with autocorrect off)

That wraps it up! The flaws in this episode seem more pronounced than any others in the season so far, but the good stuff was really good! Overall a solid episode! I know everybody's looking forward to library Lumity in the next one (so am I), but I'm personally eager to see what they do with Gus. His part is the A plot, after all.

Anyway, I'll be back at this next week! Still hard to believe this is a thing, but that's life, I guess.

#the owl house #eda clawthorne #gwendolyn clawthorne #luz noceda #lilith clawthorne #king of demons #toh king #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 spoilers #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers

[crystalirises]

i am completely in love with your harry potter au, got any more crumbs? maybe some young georgebur falling in love? maybe some george x revivebur reunion?

(2/2) oh also I have this hc that not only did wilbur trust george with the hufflepuff cup horcrux just like bellatrix, but that he also made george's wedding ring into the ring horcrux (yk the one that poisoned dumbledors hand? except this one wouldn't be cursed obviously) so george would always have a piece of his husbands soul with him wherever he goes :,( <3 this is way to romantic in my head considering the fact that you have to murder someone and literally split your soul in half to create a horcrux🤦

hello! So this might not be exactly what you wanted cause I kinda like...

You know when you want to write but you're like... nah, I'm tired?

Yeah I'm currently going through that XD. My second year in college is starting next week so I've been busy with enlistment of classes and stuff. I did do something about this (along with other stuff cause I couldn't help myself and someone else asked before if I could make like a second prompt for what happens to Fundy after he got obliviated).

So yeah, this is like ten parts of drabbles that take place in this AU. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted. I'm very sorry.

Fair warning, some parts are dark cause... Georgebur are the villains and well they win and this is a Harry Potter AU, y'all know the villain, y'all know what his agenda is.

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31985884/chapters/82666897

I. First Meeting

“You’re all bark, Mr. Soot.”

He stopped, one foot already at the top of the stairs. Wilbur threw a careless glance back.

And, oh, he was glad he looked back. There were many students within Slytherin, and he only recalled the most interesting ones. George Lore had always been very intriguing. “How so?”

“You’re charming, but I’ve seen your… skills. You’re not very sharp.”

Wilbur laughed, moving back down the stairs to where George waited. He’ll show him sharp.

.

.

.

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II. Expelled

“George Lore, the only man I will ever love, I believe this is where we part ways—”

“Wilbur, please keep your mouth shut and assist me with my luggage.” Of all the replies, Wilbur did not expect that. He glanced behind George where a bunch of suitcases waited eagerly to board the boat that would lead them back to the train station. Wilbur was stricken. When they’d expelled him for the murder of some… honestly, he wasn’t quite sure who he had murdered - some nobody mudblood, that was all… one, he had expected George to track him down just for the sake of lecturing him on his stupidity. Yet it seemed, that wasn’t the case. “Well, Wilbur? What do you say? Do we head home to your family’s manor or to mine? Either works for me.”

“Love, as much as I would love for you to stay at my home, what are you… huh?” George rolled his eyes, huffing before finally placing his bags on the boat, muttering on how useless Wilbur was and how he really was just charms and good looks. Not to be upstaged, Wilbur immediately took over, carrying George’s heavy bags onto the boat despite his confusion. He bit the bottom of his lip, watching as George stepped on board, sitting down as he waited for Wilbur to get his own bags into the boat. “Don’t tell me you’ve snuck out. Think of your grades, love, you care so—”

“I care more for you than some school who accepted those filthy mudbloods in the first place.”

Wilbur smiled, “And that’s why I love you. Whoever I killed, they had it coming.”

.

.

.

.

.

III. Isolation

George was growing tired of the same dingy walls.

He never thought he’d end up in Azkaban, but fate tends to surprise you.

They trapped him in there, thinking that the dementors would drive him to the brink of madness.

He’d be damned if they were to devour his happiness. His husband was dead, and so was their son. There was no happiness in his mind, and he could not bring himself to hope. Hope meant food for those damned abominations. He’d keep his thoughts and his emotions kept under lock and key. He won’t let them take what was left of what he remembers of Wilbur and their child.

He refuses to lose them again. Not again.

.

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IV. Loss

He wasn’t an orphan, but now he felt like he was.

Fundy rushed out of the house, hands wet with sweat despite the cold and rainy weather of London. His bag dragged across the pavement, his shoes splashing against the murky puddles. He didn’t dare to turn back, he couldn’t. Dream and Sapnap would be devastated if they knew what he had done, but Fundy couldn’t stay and endanger his parents any longer. He loved them, they were the best parents a kid could ever ask for. But Sally and Jared Salmon would be better off thinking that they never had a son and that their lifelong dream was to move to the Netherlands. Fundy walked faster, scared that he’d turn back the longer he stayed near the house.

He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes, but Fundy knew he needed to be strong. Sapnap and Dream needed him to be strong. They’ve all lost too much. He won’t cry until the war is over.

Who knows? Maybe he’ll actually like living in the wizarding world.

He just wished it didn’t have to come with the cost of his parents forgetting he ever even existed.

.

.

.

.

.

V. Wedding Ring

George found it to be quite amusing, honestly.

You would think that the Order would know better. Incompetent fools, all of them.

He admired the ring on his finger, a small smile on his face. When they’d dragged him away to Azkaban, they had given him the mercy of leaving the wedding ring that Wilbur had proposed to him with. It was hilarious, if only they had known that they had been looking at a horcrux.

His husband’s horcrux. He shook his head, gazing over at the man who stood at the head of the war table. A map of Hogwarts laid on the surface, his husband’s focused gaze nearly covered by his curly, dark chocolate brown hair. He’d join in on the brainstorming once Wilbur had gained a bit of a plan. While George did adore his husband… he was more the charms than the brains.

For now, he keeps a part of his love’s soul close to his heart.

.

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VI. Knitting Habits

He’s never held a knitting needle before in his life, but he can’t say that knitting wasn’t fun.

“I never thought I’d see the day. You’re getting old, love. Should I get you a rocking chair too?”

George threw a ball of yarn towards Wilbur, eliciting a laugh as it hit Wilbur directly on the face.

“Ever the humorist, Wil. It would be funny if it wasn’t coming from a man who literally came back from the dead and looks decayed.” He sighed, leaning against the wall of the alcove. Wilbur was still mulling over their plans, a crease in his forehead. “I’m making a scarf for our little son.”

Now here’s to hoping that Fundy would like it. George did do it with the colors of their family.

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VII. Home

He trembled, the effects of the spell washing over him like a pile of snow.

George was whispering into his ear, but Fundy couldn’t hear him over the sound of his own breathing. Dream was dead, Sapnap got hit by a crucio spell, and George was taking him back to be tortured all over again. He continued to shiver, tears pouring past his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to keep himself from crying. The world around them melted back into existence, but all he could feel was his heart beating loudly in his chest and the arms wrapped around him.

“Shh, shhh, you’re alright, sweetheart.”

His captor pulled him along, keeping an arm wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing him every now and then each time he tried to put a bit of distance between them. He was led inside a room, and from the way it looked, Fundy could tell it wasn’t an ordinary guest room. It felt too lived-in, too personal. George led him to sit on the edge of the bed, gently petting his messy and dirty hair.

“It’s alright, Fundy. You’re home with dads now.”

.

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VIII. Scarf

Fundy scowled, the scarf somehow tight against his neck despite it practically falling off.

He felt George adjust it back around him, fussing over him like he was a child and not some captive that they’ve been keeping locked inside their room. Fundy knew he wasn’t the tallest, his best friends already joke - well, they used to - about it, but George was just a foot taller and still he somehow felt even smaller. He huffed, moving away until his back was against the wall of the alcove. George didn’t make a move to follow him, simply sighing before turning back to Wilbur.

He buried his face against the scarf, trying to bring himself comfort.

If he tried hard enough, he could catch the faint scent of ash and black licorice. Sapnap had worn the scarf at some point during the battle since he thought it looked comfortable to wear. Fundy had given it to him since he didn’t know where it came from and it had been too big for him.

What he’d give to go back to that time, instead of clinging to the fading scent of his best friend.

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IX. Very Dark Blue Eyes

There was a stranger in his room.

Fundy nervously fiddled with the end of his scarf. His wand was still on the nightstand where he had left it, and the stranger was blocking his way. He’d barely seen anyone for the past few months aside from his dads, but he could already tell who the stranger was. The stranger was his age and had long black hair falling past his shoulders. Fundy knew he was a Halo immediately.

“Holy shit… Fundy! Finally, I’ve been scouting the fucking grounds for hours! This place has terrible security, well except for the wards but they were easy to break.” The stranger rambled on and on, each word striking Fundy with more confusion. He wasn’t sure why he was acting like they knew each other. Fundy had no friends - aside from his Uncle Tommy but Uncle Tommy was awkward around him - so he wouldn’t know the stranger, especially since they were a Halo of all things. The stranger moved closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I missed you!”

“Who are you?” He moved away from the stranger’s hold, avoiding the stricken look that the stranger was giving him. Fundy scowled. Of all the times to leave his wand where he couldn’t reach it. “I know you’re one of those… Halos at least. Now, how did you get inside my room?!”

“Fundy…” Very dark blue eyes gazed at him, hurt dancing in their stare. “It’s me, Sapnap…”

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X. You’re a Wizard, Fundy

The letter came at some point during the night.

His mama had asked his papa if he’d enrolled Fundy in a faraway school by accident, but papa had said that he hadn’t. They were whispering about it during breakfast, throwing glances at him every so often as though they didn’t want him to hear. He pretended not to care, attention focused on his breakfast. Mama and papa weren’t arguing, but it almost felt like they were. He hoped that their conversation would be over soon, but it continued even after Fundy finished his breakfast. He left his plate on the table before walking out of the dining room and into the hall. Mama and papa didn’t seem to even notice that he had left. Now to find what was the problem.

He found the problem all too quickly, his scavenger hunt cut short by the fancy letter that had been left on top of a table in the hallway. Fundy held the letter in his hand, the paper coarser than most that he’d felt. He knew he shouldn’t be snooping, but his mama and papa never talked about something so incessantly, at least not something about him. He snuck back into his room, the letter clutched in his hand. Maybe he’d failed his entrance exam at the school his parents were enrolling him in? He pouted, but he’d studied so hard for it and it had been so easy for him!

Fundy didn’t know why his hands trembled as he tried to pull the letter open. Mama had folded it back to the way it had been, and he couldn’t really see the trace of ink at the back. A part of him wanted to hide it away, maybe then mama and papa would stop worrying about it. He didn’t know why, but a part of him felt like something was about to end the moment he opened the letter. He took a deep breath. He could handle long hours of studying, even though his mama and papa said it wasn’t healthy for him to stay up so late. He could handle what was inside the letter. With shaking hands, he opened it, scanning the life-changing words that were meant for him.

If he only knew what that letter meant at the time, then maybe he would have just burned it.

#georgenotfound dsmp #wilbur soot #georgebur #fundy #sapnap #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp #harry potter AU

[khaleesiofalicante]

GUESS WHO'S BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK

THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S ME!

LEMME JUST SAY the number of times you've made me cry with your fics isn't even funny anymore...

ok ok ok but LEXI OMG SHE'S SUCH A HERONDALE SDYJCDCGYGYCDGYUYUGZSDGYUGYUACGYUMSGYUMSZD I LOVE HER SO MUCH

And "Jason talk dirty to me" is the best way to start a fic, I said what I said.

Don't we all hate zoom meetings? I know I sure do and I have class in 5 and a half hours (i woke up at 1 am...don't even question it). Technically i was gonna try and go back to sleep when I remembered HOLY SHIT LBAF FUCK SLEEP I CAN STAY UP

Also...KIERARKTINA CHILDREN XSUHSGYDSDGJM IM SCREAMING. At first, i was like...one child...TWO CHILD???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Patrick...I never really knew the guy well but Aline is grieving LEAVE ME ALONE TO CRY

Lexi wrinkled her nose at the name. “I have a message for you.”

“You love me more than mom?” Jace asked.

THE WAY SHE SAID YES WITHOUT HESITATION

but seriously though...do silent brothers wear clothing under their robes...?

ALL THAT FORESHADOWING ABOUT "Darker times" IM SCARED AND I ALSO BELIEVE THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE COHORT.

“I’m not a child!” Lexi protested.

You are seven years old, brother Enoch pointed out. He had been there to place the protection charms after the twins had been born.

If Jace didn’t know any better he’d say the silent brother was sassing her.

But Lexi was a Herondale.

“I’m 49 in dog years!” Lexi huffed.

You are not a dog, Alexandra.

“Daddy said I can be anything I want to be,” Lexi stuck out her tongue. “I’m a dog. A very old dog. Woof!”

Brother Enoch turned to him as if to say, ‘control your Herondale spawn’.

HERONDALE SPAWN.

There is so much going on in these lines BUT LEXI IS A WHOLE ASS MOOD YES BESTIE IF YOU WANNA BE A DOG THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA BE FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE!! WOOF

Jace knew many children had been orphaned by the war with the cohort - like Diego’s daughter, who had been adopted from the Chennai Institute.

This part scared me because for a second I was like "IS DIEGO DEAD??????" before I read on and my mind caught on.

ok on to my second favorite character right after Lexi

DAVID MY CHILD I SAY WE KILL ALBERT. SCREW THE PRISON I'M GONNA BURN THIS BITCH ALIVE

THE FUCKING AUDACITY OF HIM. DAVID IS A CHILD HONESTLY FUCK YOU. I WAS SO ANGRY THIS LITTLE SHIT HOW DARE HE.

I just wanna squeezes David into a bear hug ill protect him from now.

THE FAIRCHILD-HERONDALE FAMILY IM GONNA SCREAM

THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS ISTG AHDGYJDYUKCYDVYGDJHVCGYJMDV

Max stamped his foot on the ground, because he liked to be theatrical about everything

Im sure we all know where he gets it from...

“Shall we go check on the little miscreants?”

“Max and Rafe aren’t that bad,” Jace replied faithfully.

“I was talking about your girls,” Magnus grinned. “My boys are literal angels.”

“One of them is a warlock,” Jace pointed out. “With demon blood.”

“You know your family descended from Tessa, right?” Magnus asked. “Your children have demon blood too.”

“Yikes, no wonder people want us gone,” Jace chuckled and Magnus chuckled with him.

THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION THEY HAVE COME SO FAR ISTG IM GONNA CRY

“Did you know there is a trick to find out if kids are really sleeping?”

“A magic trick?” Jace asked.

“Yes,” Magnus winked. “You see…When kids are asleep, really asleep, they put up right hand. Only parents know of this secret.”

Rafael and Selena remained still, his little celery still snoring gently.

Max’s hand slowly went up and Lexi’s followed.

A bark of laughter escaped Jace, and Magnus shushed him.

“Miscreants!” Jace whispered.

“I told you so!” Magnus chuckled.

“I know of another secret. I heard the Consul has a new punishment for kids who lie,” Jace said. “They apparently have to eat Izzy’s food.”

The hands flopped back into bed immediately and Magnus covered his mouth to control his laughter.

THE DOMESTICITY OF THIS SCENE OH MY GOD

also TIAN!! ISTG IF WE DON'T SEE HIM IN TWP OR TEC 3 MARRIED AND HAPPY WITH JIN FENG IM GONNA BE VERY SAD

“Damn, I would have gladly punched you in the face, Herondale. Next time, ask for volunteers.”

Damn bestie-

“This is ridiculous! I didn’t do anything!” Albert yelled and looked at the brother Enoch. “You saw what they did, right?”

I’m a silent brother, Albert. I can’t see. Surely you know that.

Exactly you blind fuck.

we got Jace and alec brotp bonding leave me alone to cry in a corner. the fact that shadowhunters don't have laws protecting children like wtf is wrong with you people

“Alexandra,” his parabatai interrupted. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” “Shouldn’t you be in Los Angeles?” Lexi countered.

LEXI AYUAHGUSUSUGWDCDGD,DCGKSDYG,SDGSCDH.

“Max is awake?” Magnus was alert now.

“And Max is hungry!!!” the boy walked into the room.

Live footage of me every morning (or evening. or night. depends on my sleep schedule)

DAVID LEGIT HAD A LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT MOMENT MY PRECIOUS

HE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS

“Oh my god, who is this?” Max yelled and jumped straight into the bed, right next to David. “Are you a shadowhunter? Where are you from? Your eyes are so blue! My daddy has blue eyes too! Wait, I also have blue eyes! We both have blue eyes!”

Max- PLEASE THIS IS SO CUTE

“Yay!” Lexi yelled. “You could pretend to be my other twin.”

“Then you would be triplets,” Alec mumbled quietly. “Not twins.”

Oh shush

“Our people are not going to like this, Alec,” Jace pointed out.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Alec said unapologetically. “I’m the Consul.”

YES BITCH SHOW THEM

I really hope Albert does have to come crawling back and have his marks stripped.

“Is that...Is that a stubble?” Jace asked when something prickled his cheek.

“Yes.”

"Are you growing a beard?" Jace inquired sceptically.

"Yes."

“Gross. I don’t like it,” Jace complained.

“Too bad. Cause I do.”

“I’m going to tell Magnus to shave it off while you are asleep,” Jace muttered.

“Jokes on you. He likes it too.”

Jace weren't you starting to grow a beard in TDA as well-

no, but I'm with Jace on this one.

“So, I heard an interesting story from Magnus when I came in,” his wife said, coming out of her bathroom, wiping her face with a towel. “You adopted a kid, I hear? Your parabatai is really rubbing off on you, huh?”

It's the alec affect bestie.

“He only said there is a child at the institute who needs my help. At first, I thought he was talking about you.”

I-

Jace trying to find David a new last name was so goddamn sweet I'm crying in a corner. And David choosing to keep his name as a reminder that he survived??? TEARS

Selena had learned Spanish so she can talk to Rafael. Then she had learned French just because she could.

Oh to be good at languages...

“It means darling,” Jace corrected and then beamed. “But wait! It also means cabbage! David, you are going to be my little cabbage.”

Lexi, Selena, and Clary groaned in unison.

“You’ll have to deal with this, David,” Clary said apologetically, not letting go of the boy. “Lexi is Lettuce. Selena is Celery and I’m Carrot.”

AJHHUHYUCDJILSDYVGILCQBCDHCUOUCEDCCSCUHKK SCREAMING

DAVID YOU ARE GONNA BE EATING PIZZA TONIGHT SCREW VEGETABLES.

THE LIBRARY SLEEPOVER!!! SQUEALS. I LOVE READING TOO I WANNA JOIN THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was so long wtf-

and I guess I don't truly understand what it's like to be a child abuse victim but to all those who can hurt a child and not feel anything...I hope they fucking pay for what they do. All those kids who survive are so goddamn strong but why the fuck does one have to go through so much shit and people be like "oh you came out stronger" sure bitch but they didn't deserve this shit in the first place. i might be saying it wrong but we seriously need more strict laws against this kind of shit.

damn, I curse a lot. SEE YA ON FRIDAY BYE

Me scrolling through this entire liveblog like:

Thank you so much. It made my day! I love reading reactions!!! (lol you know that)

I am so glad you like the first chapter. And I curse a lot too so issokay ;)

And thank you for that last point. It's what we need more of in this world - empathy and understanding x.

And we definitely need better laws - but these laws also need to be implemented correctly - without judgment and with efficiency.

We have a long way to go just like the shadowhunters oof.

#THANKS AGAIN BYEEEEEE #lbaf

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

#oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa x y/n #hq fluff #oikawa au #oikawa scenarios #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader au #oikawa tooru x reader

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

#eff plays

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 11; the rewatch edition

I have found a bit more enthusiasm for this one on the rewatch, so here goes!

- din snapping ‘I’m trying my best here!’ in a vaguely annoyed tone as his entire ship is going up in flames around him because he mostly doesn’t get angry as much as sulky... the height of cinema 

- I love frog husband’s clothes, because they’re in a very similar style and colour scheme to frog lady’s but also incorporate the knitwear we see on the people of trask, so it both underlines his belonging with her and implies that he’s been on this moon for quite a while, they may have been apart for some time  

especially his scarf is a darling detail and there’s a bit of contrast in texture to it next to his wife’s, it’s nice. he’s wearing a similar kind of vest to what we see on the fishermen later, too 

- I think my favourite part of this entire episode (well second after din cradling the baby against him after nearly drowning) is just the design and Vibe of the planet and especially this harbour

for one I LOVE that it’s shown that even in the middle of the day it’s dark enough that the electric lights are still on when it’s overcast (it reminds me a bit of norway during the winter, actually, when dawn just never quite breaks and then slinks off in embarrassment before it’s even noon). and there’s also the... sails? nets? hanging around looking almost like flags, which are very Aesthetic but god knows what they’re for. maybe for drying fish on in the summer? 

I think the building in the distance behind frog husband’s back here is a lighthouse? or it could be one of those towers for loading you see when they scout out the empire ship too, I suppose!

and one for my strange obsession with Texture on this show: these fabric-covered crates!!! they look exactly as dingy and moldy as you’d expect them to be in this climate, I wonder what they’re for (& I vaguely want to touch them) 

- from the sound of it din’s vibroknife is uh ‘on’ when he pokes the squid thing, and he also goes for the tentacle the furthest away from the baby <3

proof the calamari flan have been scratched up a bit during all that time in din’s pockets! (the attention to detail in this show sometimes istg) 

- this is 100% me reading too much into things again, call the overthinking police I’ll do my time meekly lol, but the boat looks a little bit like the mudhorn signet from this angle: 

again din keeps his hand on or sooo close to his blaster in this entire scene, he knows this is sketch as all hell 

a) once again I want to praise the effects team for how GOOD the aliens look in this episode holy shit and b) the hell is this dude wearing on the straps of his overalls tho 

- the dude mando (axe woves) uses his little... wrist launcher thing to shoot with to finish two off the fishermen, so my theory that they can be loaded with other things than the whistling birds for slightly less effective use (maybe without the level of honing we’ve seen din’s be able to do?) is looking good!

- din actually has quite good form when diving into the water, I’m guessing he can swim at least tolerably when not in full armour, being stabbed at from all directions, having just had his son eaten by a sea monster and also being trapped in with said sea monster (I’m a strong swimmer and I can tell you that there’s a reason they make you swim with clothes on from time to time to see how hard it is, it sucks. with metal plates strapped all over you as well? yeah good luck) people don’t tend to hit the water that gracefully without some kind of training in my experience lol. might be some of the training with the jet pack has carried over too, considering he throws himself off that cliff in chapter 12 with similar confidence?

it’s interesting that they’re once again showing us a threat where the armour doesn’t help and even hinders him. we’re so used to the ways it can make him near-invincible, but it can also drag him down (literally, in this case. aha ha ha. well if I’m not here for my own entertainment then what am I here for honestly)

- din’s voice sounding like he’s just on the verge of crying as he cradles the baby (and the sound he makes as he realizes the baby’s alive) is my kryptonite, turns out. fucking breaks my heart into tiny pieces every time, I would die for this man and he wouldn’t let me

- in support of din’s paranoia: so far this season we haven’t been able to go five minutes without someone talking about peeling the precious beskar off a mandalorian corpse, I can see why his mind was primed to move in one particular way there

- I think the fabric of din’s cape has been treated with something that makes it waterproof; the water seems to pearl on top of it rather than soak in! can you imagine how heavy it would get if it did absorb water tho christ

(a bit hard to see at this size but that’s what it looked like to me close up anyway! could also be that it’s wool and that’s why it looks that way but I prefer an elaborate sci-fi explanation here, because it doesn’t look particularly weighed down afterwards) might also explain why he doesn’t seem worried about it catching on fire when he uses the jetpack haha, maybe this is something the mandos do with fabric they’re going to use for a long time 

I also enjoy part of the gambeson/undersuit thing poking up from under the shoulder pauldron and cape; I think this is about as disheveled as we’ve seen him since immediately post-mudhorn 

- the sound mixing in this scene, where din’s breathing is layered a bit over everything else so you almost feel like you’re in the helmet with him listening to what the others are saying........ oh my GOD, it embeds you so deeply in his POV but so subtly 

- not to be biased or anything... but din and the armorer’s armour design is so vastly superior to these guys it shouldn’t even be a competition lol 

din looks like an honest to god knight in shining armour except also sci-fi western and the armorer looks like a fucking war goddess from a time beyond memory; the clone wars mandos look like high end cosplayers (eh maybe it’s just my dislike for the boobplates that has me so 😒 lol. also a lot of dudes were very shitty about that whole thing and I don’t say anything but the ‘vaguely-concerned will remember this’ telltale message pops up in the corner every time) 

moment of saltiness over: I do like the differentiation between their individual character designs 

the differences in body type and helmet design is nice! they look like a unified team, but with individuality. I suspect the ladies have those belts and their armour plates on the hips instead of the front of the thighs to emphasize the ‘female’ silhouette, which. okay fine whatever

- bo katan looks very pointedly down at the baby after saying ‘a group of religious zealots who want to return to the ancient ways’ which makes me VERY nervous for reasons I can’t quite articulate

- the mournful guitar version of the mando theme as din watches the sunset...... hmmmmngh (this might be some Symbolism happening to us folks strap in for the identity crisis he still hasn’t processed) 

- I Cannot get over din being so unimpressed by and uninterested in bo katan’s ‘retake mandalore’ sales pitch from literally the first moment dfhasdkjfhsad sorry lady kryze this man just does not do main quest shit, he’s all side quests all the time and that’s why I love him  

- as someone who after chapter 8 wrote a whole-ass fic that was wholly & exclusively about din telling the baby he’ll always come back for him... some of the shit he’s been saying this season does feel like it’s been written to mercilessly victimize me, personally and specifically 

- guessing this structure in the background is the traffic control tower! doesn’t really matter, I just thought it was neat

- this part of the soundtrack is called ‘ship o hoj, mandalorians!’, which I found incredibly charming haha (it’s ‘ship ahoy’ except how you write it in swedish, good one herr göranson)  

- bo katan is vague about who exactly the new mand’alor would be if they took back mandalore to begin with, she doesn’t specify she is planning to be the ruler until she’s already got din on the ship and in no position to refuse to help. gotta respect the grift at least lol  

I do love her voice, though, it reminds me a bit of jennifer hale as shepard

- “I need to get back to my ship, with the foundling” your honor I uh love him so fucking much 

- frog lady stroking the baby’s back a bit as she holds her hand behind him to make sure he doesn’t fall backwards while playing with the tadpole ;___________;

and also frog husband and frog lady reaching out to hold hands and frog smooching as din and yodito leave ;____________________________________________;

- when din says the exasperated “mon calamari. unbelievable” line, the baby makes that little blowing a raspberry sound he does as if to agree ‘uh-huh unbelu -- unbelly -- unbelievable dad smh’ and it is very very adorable 

- there’s quite a bit of Stuff in the concept art that didn’t make it in this time around; I wonder if maybe they cut some stuff for pacing or whatever and that’s why this episode is so short? water leaking into the cockpit of the razor crest, something that looked a bit like whaling going on on the docks and more spaceships taking off (maybe there were originally meant to be some smaller ships defending the big empire one?), there’s quite a bit here  

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta

[maplecourtesy]

TAZ:G NOTES, EPISODE 27

oh we’re starting with a full recap of the history huh;;

HHHHHHH ARGO, all i can think about is argo…. ever since last week my brain has been like many thoughts head argo keene

argo…… already…… oh god the music. argo gripping fitzroy’s shoulder;;;;; i love how that’s the thundermen’s love language.

[most of the content under the cut, because spoilers!!]

OH L O R D I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS…oh jesus christ JESUS FUCK GOD WHAT THE HELL IM IN SO MUCH PAIN. THE ONE THING I DID NOT WANT. THE O N E THING. WAS HEARING ABOUT ARGO KILLING FITZ AND THE FIRBOLG. I KNOW THIS ISN’T REAL BUT IT VERY WELL COULD BE IF THINGS GO WRONG OH THIS IS AWFUL. IM IN A FITZROY KINSHIFT AND I FELT PAIN BETWEEN RIBS WHEN TRAVIS SAID THAT…. IM ALREADY EMOTIONAL SOMEONE HOLD ME. “you consider what you have done, and you smile.” NOTHING HAS HURT ME AS MUCH AS ARGONAUT KEENE.

i’m like . shaking. that singular dream sequence has convinced me that argo is genuinely one of my Highest comfort characters. i feel nothing but pain.

unfair that this cute music is playing while argo is waking up from the. WORST possible nightmare.

“does fitzroy have his own bedroom?” “he does” “*evil bastard chuckle noises from griffin*” GOD I LOVE HIM

notes in the adventure zone are never good. why are they never good i almost don’t wanna hear this even if its just a good lil fitzroy note. BE BACK SOON. if travis had made it say just “blah blah blah. back soon.” i think i genuinely would’ve fucking lost it. sorry for having taz balance brainrot i dont do it on purpose <3

NOOOO GOD I HATE THIS SO MUCH. GET OUT OF ARGO’S HEAD ARGO DON’T LISTEN TO HIM BUDDY THEY LOVE YOU SO MUCH THEY THINK YOURE THE ABSOLUTE BEST OH MAN IM SAD. i knew gray’d be capitalizing on argo’s fears and doubts n insecurities but i didn’t realize it’d hit this hard…. man argo cmere lemme give u a good good hug.

NOT @ THEM BEING MEAN TO CLINT TOO SDBFJDKSJ;;;;; STOP BULLYING CLINT AND ARGO!!!!!! >:T JAHSBJSDF TRAVIS MAKING THEM APOLOGIZE;;;

right before justin said his little podcast law thing i was literally Just about to click the 1.5x button and i felt very called out

FAST FIRBOLG FAST FIRBOLG. ITS VERY FUNNY THAT HIS UHHHHHH’S STILL REMAIN THE SAME THOUGH. hey does travis know what Talking Faster means.

“i have been giving this much thought”
“HELL YES"

"the worry-"

"aw no"

WHEJDJDBSJSHBS

OH THE MUSIC!!!!! FESTO TIME THIS IS FESTO TIME!!!!! I MISSED FESTO SO MUCHHHHH GOD FESTOS THEME MUSIC SLAPS SO HARD

as always fitzroy is already being The Best. hes so good. man festo better be impressed by this.

“DID YOU SEE?????” EVERY DAY I LOVE FITZROY MORE..

you heard the man travis!!! we need a festo and fitzroy rave scene and we need it NOW

OH THANK GOD ITS FESTOS PROPER VOICE AGAIN I WASNT FEELING THE VIBES

I MISSED SNIPPERS SO MUCH TOOOOO I LOVE SNIPPERS TO THE MOON AND BACK…. snippers the phantasmal crab well spring of all magic ever

I LIKE GORDY SO MUCH!!!!! GORDY GOES TO RAVES!!! :DDD

hey festo do u wanna spill the hot drippin wet goss

YOU DO HAVE A HABIT OF PISSING PEOPLE OFF WJDNSNFJSKDFJKN THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE….

FESTO MAKE JOKE SDHJFBHSHDJFJHB

rip fitzroy <3

CLINT THE POWERFUL WIZARD…. GOD CLINTS CANONICAL IN EVERY UNIVERSE…. THE. SDHFJJBSDFHJSDHJFB THE CLINTORIS. LET ME OUT OF HERE I WANNA GO. I HATE IT SO MUCH. I HATE IT I HATE IT.

hehe pretty music!! i will never shut up about how beautiful griffin’s composition is especially in these recent episodes;;

I REALLY ONLY LISTEN TO THE AD READS FOR BABY DOT NOW I LOVE HER SO MUCH;;;;;; <333 THAT’S A GOOD HALLOWEEN GROWL;;;;; HEY BABY DOT;;;;;;;; oh i love dot so much im ;3;

glad we had that chat about using the potty!!! thanks guys very cool!!

now why would fitzroy bring that up.

WHERE IS ALL THE ART OF THUNDERMAN LLC IN BOOTY SHORTS CLIMBING GEAR!!!! I NEED THAT!!! GET ON IT ARTISTS!!!! /LH

WHJBDHHJSDHJFHBJ NOOO GOD;;; i saw a post that said it sounds like argo seems like hes feeling some rejection sensitivity dysphoria and Yeah;;; little sidetrack but i really do feel like all the thundermen are neurodivergent in some way. i project my adhd very heavily onto fitzroy and i think that argo and the firbolg could both be somewhere on the spectrum!! argo could also be ocd and thats a very comforting headcanon too;;;

GOD SARCASM…..

oh its hieronymous;;; sad music time i don’t like this;; i care so much about hiero i hope he’s doin alright;; “i’m just tired.” yeah me too hiero…

GOD EVERYTIME FIRBOLG MAKES A JOKE I LOSE MY MIND…. canon that firbolg does a little celebratory dance after each banger joke

“we can’t take that risk” “well MAYBE THEY SHOULDVE BEEN STRONG ENOUGH”

yall think fitzroy could get that influencer cape on and charm his way into the heroic oversight guild. but yeah hiero and althea!!!!

OH NO ARGO. O H. N O. AR G O.. OH JESUS ARGO OH GOD FUCK ARGO……OH NOOOO OH NO OH GOD FUCK ARGO DONT DO SHIT I SWEAR TO FUCKING G O D. ARGO PLEASE IM SO SCARED I CANT HAVE FITZROY GET STABBED… argo sounds so … defeated oh im so sad;;;; i have so many argo feelings…

maplekeeners how are we feelin…

HOW DOES ARGO KEEP FUCKIN ROLLING CRIT FAILS… oh no;;; fitzroy fuck him up. do it. fuck him up. FUCK Y E S. HOLY SHIT FUCK HIM UP FITZROY.

if gray don’t get the FUCK out of my boy argo

thank god argo knows now because idk if i could’ve dealt with him feelin that shitty self deprecation and thinkin it was still him even after that;;

thunderman llc love each other so much god i'm so sad...

oh i cant wait to see the art people come up with for the godscar chasm scene this sounds beautiful...

OPALESCENT SKIN??? CHAOS????? not? chaos??

"i have been called many names, some of them unkind. i think the one i most identify with is order."

HOLY SHIT I JUST GOT C H I L L S WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS SO INCREDIBLY COOL OH IM IN AWE. THAT WAS SUCH A COOL ENDING OH MG GOD.

this commentary got Long but for good reason god this was such a good episode i believe in taz g episode 27 supremacy.... holy moly folks.

#taz #taz graduation spoilers #taz grad #taz g #taz graduation #taz grad spoilers #the adventure zone #the adventure zone graduation #taz episode 27 #sir fitzroy maplecourt #fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #argo keene #the firbolg #master firbolg #taz notes by krys #krys talks

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 2

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1      Part 3     Part 4    Part 5

The Joker feels your hand searching around and he knows what you’re looking for: the yellow teddy bear.

“Here Pumpkin,” J gives you the toy that landed on the other side of the bed during the night; a couple minutes pass and his cheek is covered in soft kisses. He opens one eye and you instantly pretend to be asleep.

“I’m onto you, Y/N!” The King of Gotham sneers while you giggle at his affirmation. But as soon as he pecks the scar on your collarbone, your attitude changes.

“No…”, you whimper and cover your face with the sheets.

“I told you before I don’t care about scars,” The Joker tries to reason with you because it happens each time he touches the numerous stitch marks scattered all over your frame: some are deeper lacerations perfectly normal after the surgeries you sustained, others are cuts that might diminish in a few months. “Princess, are you listening?” J traces the lesion on your wrist.

Y/N is so stiff though he has to fight in order to pull the covers away from her.

“Hey…hey… See? I have scars too,” The Clown attempts to distract you. “Are you having a panic attack? No need to!”

You try to keep up with what he’s saying and it’s pretty difficult giving the circumstances; at least you do understand J is making you relax.

His cell phone starts vibrating on the nightstand and he reaches for it.

“Perfect timing, Frost!” The Joker takes his frustration on Jonny. “What do you want?!!”

The short conversation ends fast with The King yelling a bunch of angry stuff, including an interesting grand finale: “Next time you interrupt when I’m on a roll struggling to get laid, maybe you’d like to intervene and convince Y/N her scars don’t bother me!!!”

Why is he mad?...

You watch him toss the phone on the floor and crawl by him, intrigued.

“Upset?” you begin caressing his hair with the teddy bear’s paw.

“My throne won’t be ready until June, Princess! I requested that fancy chair for a reason and paid a fortune to have it customized! What am I supposed to use at the club?! I don’t like the old furniture anymore!!”

You already lost track of what he’s saying: something about not having a throne???… … …

Oh, there’s one really close by!

You grab The Joker’s arm and drag him out of bed towards the bathroom.

“Where are we going?” he inquires, confused.

You quickly guide him to the toilet, making J sit on the closed lid.

“Throne,” you point at the porcelain bowl and The King of Gotham frowns, immediately bursting into laughter afterwards.

“You’re brilliant, Pumpkin! Brilliant!” he praises your interpretation as you are pulled on his knees.

“Hm?”

“You’re a clever Kitten and whoever says otherwise is an idiot! Turns out I do have a throne,” he admits and gropes you.

Too much for your brain to decipher all his sentences, yet Mister J seems content and that’s enough for you.

“The plan for this morning is simple,” he continues. “We’ll have sex, then take a shower and whatnot, then eat breakfast. Later I have a meeting; you just stay here and wait for me, alright?”

“Mmm…” you hesitantly process the words coming out of his mouth, opting to agree for his sake. “Ok?”

“You naughty girl,” he pulls down on your tank top spaghetti strap. ”I know you hate me sometimes, but in the end can’t resist my charm.”

“No hate… Love,” you snuggle to J while he walks back into the bedroom carrying the sweet burden of his existence; of course he ignored your statement because why would he pay attention to nonsense?

*************

You’re outside the car and sulk when Alice sneaks on the passenger’s seat that literally belongs to The Queen.

“Stay here, Princess. I won’t be too long,” The Joker mutters.

“W-why?” you ask since you are not a fan of the idea of having your boyfriend’s ex riding alone with him.

“You get bored at meetings,” he explains. “Circle the property and let the boys know if you need anything,” J emphasizes and drives down the path leading to the gates, leaving a puzzled Y/N behind: you never liked Alice and that didn’t vanish after the accident.

“Bye, Y/N!” she shouts and you can’t make a lot of sense of what you’re feeling, still one detail is certain: it hurts.

How come you couldn’t go?! Why didn’t he give you a choice?! He always does.

If The Joker thinks you can’t put two and two together these days, he’s very wrong.

“Y/N recovered quite nicely,” Alice smirks.

The King of Gotham sighs and she fixes a rebel strand of green hair rebelliously flying over his ear.

“I was wondering if you’ll call me at one point. I missed you, babe.”

“Did ya’?” he scoffs at her bold confession; but she’s a direct person, one of the qualities J admired when they were an item.

“I can’t image how you two function; I mean… her unfortunate transformation, it must be hard for you to put up with someone fighting to comprehend the easiest tasks.”

“It’s not easy,” The Clown admits and gazes at her: Alice dolled up for their rendezvous. Everything he considers attractive is there: beautiful pair of legs popping from under the short skirt, his favorite perfume discretely lingering on her flawless skin, the tip of the purple lace bra she’s wearing casually showing each time the woman leans forward.

“I bet,” Alice pretends to sympathize with his problems. “A man like you has needs that I’m positive Y/N can’t even remember how to satisfy,” she pats his thigh, slowly working her way to his crotch.

The Joker chuckles, accomplice with her insinuations, also super annoyed when his phone rings.

“Yes?” he promptly answers.

“Sir,” Frost reports, ”we have a situation; Y/N is increasingly agitated and…”

“Deal with it!” he hangs up and strives to cruise straight despite the sexy distraction urging him to do otherwise.

“Why did we split?” she scoots closer to him, pouting.

“Beats me,” J purrs as she squeezes her fingers in his pants’ pocket.

“What’s this?” Alice rattles the small plastic pouch.

“Y/N’s anti-inflammatory drug; there’s not much that can be done now and this is helping with the blood clot pressing on her frontal lobe. The doctors say it will reabsorb; granted it won’t matter regarding her cognitive impairment.”

“Awww,” The Joker’s past flame pretends to be affected by his briefing. “That’s too bad, babe; probably the future is not too bright…” she shoves your pills in the glove compartment. “Why don’t we reconcile? You know I’d do anything for you,” the flirtatious tone makes J reply:

“Would you jump in front of a speeding car like Y/N did to save me?”

“Ha! I would,” she elbows him, snickering at his antiques.

“Prove it then,” J growls. “Get out of the vehicle and don’t flinch if I run you over. If you survive, I’ll take you back!”

Alice opens her mouth in amazement and the SUV halts before The King reprises driving.

“Got cha’!” he cracks up at her baffled reaction.

“For God’s sake, babe! You scared me!” she playfully pinches him and teases: “Are we going to our spot?”

“I was wondering when you’ll notice,” The Joker navigates the unpaved road guiding the automobile towards Clear Sky Summit.

“Pull over,” Alice urges him and he complies at once. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time,” she moans climbing on his lap. “I can tell you missed me too,” the woman grins at his body’s response.

“That’s my gun,” J buries his face in the revealing cleavage, firmly holding her waist.

“I bet it is, babe,” she winks while unbuttoning his silver shirt. “I love you!” she tries to bite him and he violently yanks her long hair, snarling.

“Is that why you tried to kill me?”

Alice cautiously exhales, a bit nervous at the switch in his demeanor.

“What are you talking about?!”

“Who was driving the car meant to hit me, huh? Tinted windows, no license plate.”

“Babe, you’re hurting me,” she winces in pain at his strong grip. “I swear I don’t know anything!”

“Are you sure?” J sniffs her scent.

“Yes I’m sure! I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize our…”

“Our what? What exactly our means in this context? We separated more than two years ago!” The Joker crushes her spine against the wheel.

“Babe, let go!” Alice wiggles in his tight embrace.

“Why did you do it? Were you jealous I found a new fling? Took me months to track the culprit!!!” J restricts her movement when she stretches to open the door. “You fucked up my girl!” his hands forcefully twist her neck and the snapping noise of fractured bone halts the argument.

The Joker pushes the corpse off him, numb to the murder he committed out of pure rage: what’s another name added to the list?

Yet… this was personal.

He keeps staring at the trees surrounding the trail without discerning their shape. 30 minutes pass and the phone’s alarm alerts him it’s time for your remedy: The Clown Prince of Crime is so out of it he doesn’t stop it until he’s on the main road.

He speeds up to ensure a timely arrival at the mansion where Y/N will definitely confront him after being abandoned in such fashion: the truth is he doesn’t mind.

What he does mind though is that no matter what happens, Y/N will never be her former self.

***************

The Joker parks in front of the villa and hops out of the car, barking instructions at the goons patrolling the area:

“I want this gone!” he gestures at the cadaver crammed under the front seat. “Where’s Y/N?”

“In the garage, boss” Frost indicates. “You should know that…”

“I got it! I got it!” J waves and sprints towards your destination.

Nothing prepared him for the carnage.

“Holy… … shit!!!” he inhales at the shocking landscape depicting all five of his most beloved vehicles mauled to pieces: broken windows, scraped paint, karoseri indents…a whole mess!

Bam!!! You smash the rearview mirror of his favorite Ferrari with the baseball bat.

“What are you doing, Pumpkin????!!!!” J screams, aggravated.

Oh, he’s back!

“Y-you like her??!!” The Queen redirects her wrath. “B-because she’s smart??!!”

“Who? Alice?” he quizzes for no reason whatsoever: The Joker’s aware of the reply.

“Wh-where did you go, hm?” you point the wood weapon at the man taking you for a fool; you try not to stutter but it’s impossible with the strained neurons firing up a storm inside an already troubled brain.

“Nowhere, I killed her.”

“Hm?”

“I killed Alice!” The Joker raises his voice and watches you squint your eyes, a clear hint you’re analyzing his disclosure. “Look what you did, Princess! Are you happy now??” he finds the perfect opportunity to divert the outcome of the mayhem he actually created: J repeatedly learned this is the best strategy.

“U-hum,” you serenely admit since you’re indeed pleased with the results of your rampage.

The two parties glare at each other in silence and The Joker grabs the yellow teddy bear resting on a nearby hood, proposing truce before you bash something else:

“I’ll trade you the fur ball for your bat.”

Yikes, you’re reluctant to his treaty: further distraction is required.

“My collection is destroyed, Pumpkin!” The Joker approaches with the toy he stole for you on your first date. “Who we’re gonna call on such short notice to fix all this crap?!!”

Oh, you know this one! You and Mister J watch the movie on a regular basis.

“Mmm… Ghost Busters?” Y/N innocently suggests.

He puckers his lips at the astonishing proposal and it takes a lot of effort not to laugh.

“That’s brilliant, Y/N! Best idea I heard all week!” The Joker proudly compliments your intuition. “You’re a clever Kitten and whoever says otherwise is a moron!” he swiftly snatches the baseball from your grasp and replaces it with the teddy bear.

He rolls the weapon by the closest tire, signaling you to follow.

“Come on, Pumpkin, it’s time for your med. Why are you limping? Is your knee hurting again?”

“U-hum.”

“Serves you right for going rogue!” he scolds. “Com’ere,” J lifts you up, placing your legs around his midsection. “I expect apologies by the way!”

“No,” you sniffle while dangling the toy with one arm.

“Pain in the ass!” he huffs and you kiss him. “This is not an apology!” The Joker spanks you butt.

“Mine,” you cuddle to his shoulder, totally blocking his grouchiness.

“Yeah, yeah, yours,” J grumbles heading for the elevator. “So this is how the rest of today will unfold, Y/N: I’ll be mad until evening time, then we’ll have makeup sex and dinner, the last two not necessarily in the same order. And you’re not going to freak out when I touch your scars, OK?”

“Mmm…OK?”

“Why is that a question?” The Joker continues bickering. “You have other prospects? Boyfriends I should know about? Are you even listening?”

“U-hum,” you poke J’s star tattoo. “No… freaking out.”

“Fair enough,” he compromises and lifts you higher on his hips when you cling to him: selective perception is infinitely better than none. “Is this Pink Blossoms?”

“Yes,” you nod at the familiar brand you use all the time.

The King of Gotham smells his favorite perfume in the air, reckoning he wouldn’t enjoy it if another woman wears it for him.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and Ao3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker imagine #the joker fanfiction #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker imagine #joker leto #joker suicide squad #mister joker #mister j #Mistah J #dc #dcu

[naturallysuperbullshit]

S3 E12: Jus in Bello

First || Previous || Next

Apparently "jus in bello" means "the law in waging war" .......yikes

Oh Monument, CO! Finally using a real place in Colorado, third times the charm I guess

I know I say this every time but I LOVE Bela

Oooooh shit Henrickson!!!!!! Nice

Henrickson has fed privilege as evidenced by being pissed that the local cops total six (6) people and one (1) assistant. Monument probably has a few more than that IRL but uh yeah not far off I'd imagine

"Think Hannibal Lector and his half-wit little brother" I can picture Sam's bitchface if he heard that one lmao

"We're not the ones you should be scared of, Nancy." Yeah that's not something non-threatening people say, Dean

NDHSJDJSHSHD I PAUSED ON THE CLOSE-UP OF THEIR WANTED POSTERS AND ONE OF DEAN'S LISTED ALIASES IS "DONALD STRUMP"

Oh wait shit i think this is the episode where Henrickson dies oh no

Okay unless that chopper was coming from Colorado Springs, a hell of a lot more time passed than what they implied. Also, they're taking a chopper from Monument all the way to Nevada? They're really planning on doing a fuel stop with two prisoners on board that have already proven to be incredibly good at escaping impossible situations???? Idk where the supermax is supposed to be but unless it's literally at the CO/NV border, they're probably gonna have to stop for fuel at least once. Especially since they can't refuel in Monument!

Holy shit bro what the hell!!!! Fucking demons i s2g

At least Sam memorized the exorcism at this point

The demons said "fuck blue lives" and i can respect that at least

"Henrickson! Four of my men!" Yeah I'd cut this guy some slack bc that's 80% of his force lmao

Did they ever patch up Dean's shoulder or is he still just bleeding out in the cell

I will give the show a small nod of acknowledgement for having Henrickson remain calm and take charge during this, as the sole black person. A nice change from other episodes (im thinking specifically of "The Magnificent Seven"). However that doesn't make up for the shitty way the writers have treated their BIPOC characters in the past, and the future.

Oh good they did give Sam some bandages for Dean

Nancy is so sweet and I know Sam had a reason but that doesn't mean i gotta like him tricking and grabbing her like that like a DICK

"Its like they're coming right for us. They've never done that before." Yes they have. Azazel and his roadies came after you guys multiple times. So did Meg. The Seven rolled around to fuck y'all up in the first episode of this season. This isn't new Dean.

"There's a SWAT facility in Boulder" yeah and that's like 3 hours north of you, not right around the corner

Woof poor Henrickson. Terrible way to find out that demons exist.

Not the time Dean

Hey since when do the demon smoke clouds contain blue lightning

So they covered all the doors and windows with salt lines but iirc in the plane crash episode, where demons were introduced, that demon used the air vents. So why don't these demons, in their smoke forms, slip through the vents from the roof access?

YOU DIDNT HAND OUT THE ANTIPOSSESSION CHARMS FIRST THING???? YOU HAD TIME WHILE THE DEMONS WERE CASING THE BUILDING DEAN

Oh the tats are finally canonized nice

Wow they really possessed the whole population of Monument huh

Deputy no

Man I bet Henrickson would have made a fine hunter. But I'm pretty sure he dies after this :(

"I think the world's gonna end bloody. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't fight." Another for the tagline list!

Oh shit Ruby!

Dean you can't get angry at Sam for keeping secrets when you are also keeping secrets from Sam. Unless you came clean at some point about how there's no way to break your deal and that being in the Pit will turn you into a demon eventually. But I doubt it.

Dean don't make it weird. Stop questioning Nancy about her sex life.

I can't see shit with all these jumpcuts and shaky cams - I understand it's for the "feeling" of being in a fight but can we PLEASE get a coherant image of what's happening please

NANCY IS FUCKING SAVAGE HSJDJSJJSJDJDJS

So they covered one door and like.... Two windows. Great. Really helpful guys.

Oh okay they are coving the rest of the exits that's good

Pretty sure Sam and Dean should have been released when the demon was forced out of the vessel but whatever

Does this count towards the boys' death counts? It's official after all lmao

O h n o L i l i t h

"One's really tall, and one's really cute" hsjsjsjsjjshs

....yeah goodbye Henrickson and Nancy and Deputy :(

"Jus in Bello" final thoughts: honestly I didn't remember this episode being this good. There's a few technical details that irk me, but overall it's solid. And I guess it sort of wraps up the issue of Sam and Dean being wanted for murder for the time being.

#s3e12 #jus in bello #spn s3 #supernatural #supernatural notes

[quickspinner]

Hey Gorgeous - Under Your Skin 13

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16

A continuation of Hey Gorgeous Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Bonus Scene | Now on AO3

Life was good, the world was beautiful, and he was on his way to pick up his hot girlfriend.

His hot girlfriend who had left him speechless yesterday when he'd begged her to wear the black dress tonight and she'd giggled and said, "Oh, I c-can do better than th-that old thing."

Luka could see that she was waiting for him as he approached, talking with another girl he hadn’t seen before. Luka frowned at their body language. Marinette had her arms crossed and she was turned half away from the other girl. He quickened his pace a little, only to stop dead when their conversation hit his ears.

“—just don’t know if that style’s really flattering on you, Marinette. I mean, guys like girls to be feminine and delicate, not all, you know...lumpy. Maybe it would be better if you covered up a bit more.”

I’m not exactly the delicate type I guess, he remembered Marinette saying. I didn’t think...I’ve heard guys don’t like girls with muscles.

Luka ground his teeth. This explained a lot. The fuck this girl was going to get away with—

“I mean,” the girl said in a sickly sweet, oh-so-sympathetic tone, “You need to make a good impression, because, you know...well conversation isn’t exactly your strong suit, is it?”

Oh that bitch. Luka took a deep breath, and wiped his anger off his face. “Hey Gorgeous,” he called cheerfully as he jogged up the steps. “Ready to go?” He took some satisfaction in seeing the nasty girl’s eyes widen and then sweep over him, though he didn’t look at her at all, keeping his eyes fixed on Marinette as if the other girl didn’t exist. Marinette turned towards him and he didn’t have to fake an ounce of his reaction. “You look amazing,” he breathed, his eyes raking over her, still completely ignoring her companion. “Wow.” She wore a red halter dress with black polka dots, fitted through the waist and then flared to her knees, the skirt fluffed out by a layer of black tulle underneath. Her strong arms were bare.

“T-told you I could do b-better,” she said, pivoting slowly on her toes. When her back was to him, he heard a strangled noise come out of his own throat and slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes riveted to her exposed back. She looked back over her shoulder with an innocent expression and clasped her hands behind her in a classic pose that just happened to flex her back muscles.

He’d never seen anything so sexy in his life.

Luka let out one more moan behind his muffling hand and then shook his head, letting his hand fall. “You’re a masterpiece, Marinette. A fucking work of art. I doubted you when you said you could top the black dress, but I will never question your skills again. You’re seriously hot.”

He made a sympathetic face as she completed the turn and faced him again, a pretty blush in her cheeks. “It’s such a shame about your lipstick though.”

“What’s wrong w-with—“

He caught her hands before she could raise them to her lips, pulled her close, and kissed her. Luka took his time about it, guiding her hands up around his neck and then wrapping his arms around her, cradling her gently against him, mingling tenderness and passion, wanting her to know that she was both loved and desired no matter what that jealous harpy was spouting.

When he finally released her, her red lipstick was indeed utterly ruined.

“Sorry,” he said insincerely, grinning. “I know how you feel about kissing in public, but there’s no one around but us, so I thought it’d be okay.” There was a loud snort from somewhere near his elbow. Luka ignored it and kissed her lightly. “We better get going, Gorgeous, Jules’ll kill me if we’re late again because I couldn’t keep my hands off you.”

Marinette giggled, letting him lace their fingers together and tug her down the stairs. He grinned to himself as she shot a smug look over her shoulder. “Bye Lila,” she called sweetly. 

“T-tell Alya not to w-wait up for me, will you?”

When they were out of sight, Marinette pulled Luka to a stop and jumped him—literally, he had to catch her as she hooked her arms around his neck and her strong legs around his waist—and kissed him fiercely. As if being climbed like one of her parkour obstacles wasn’t enough to kill him by itself, holy shit.

Somehow he survived the kiss and her slide back down him to the ground, but only barely. 

She giggled at him while he mimed a heart attack.

“What was that for?” he asked innocently. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“You know exactly w-what you did, you b-beautiful mmman.”

Luka just grinned. “I don’t know what you mean. I just want you to know that I think you’re gorgeous and I love everything about you.”

“Uh-huh. And the fact that Lila just happened to be p-p-picking on m-me had n-n-nothing to do w-with it.”

Luka bit back an impolite reply that he knew Marinette wouldn’t approve of and just said, “Oh, was there someone there? I remember a stick wearing bright colors. I wondered who left their flag lying around.”

Marinette snorted and laughed, tucking herself against his side. “I love you so m-much,” she said, and even though she said it in laughter, his heart soared.

“I love you too, babe,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss her hair. He put his arm around her waist and they started walking again. “So who was that--charming person?” he asked, making a face.

“An old enemy,” Marinette replied, making a face of her own. “I th-thought I was d-done with her but she’s f-friends with Alya and Alya invited her to ssstay with us f-for the weekend.”

“Seriously?” Luka said incredulously. Marinette shrugged.

“L-lila’s insidious and c-careful. She only shows her t-true colors around p-people she c-can’t use. Alya th-thinks I’m just b-being oversensitive.” She sighed. “It’s g-gonna b-be a long w-weekend.” 

“You could stay with me,” Luka offered immediately. Marinette looked up at him and he shrugged. “Juleka won’t care. I can sleep on the couch.” 

“Y-you don’t have to sleep on the c-couch,” Marinette admonished.

Luka grinned ruefully. “Yeah, I kinda do.” He stopped and turned Marinette towards him. “Babe, I already can’t look at you without feeling like I ought to go to confession.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You’re not C-catholic.” 

Luka shrugged. “The point stands. Anyway I wouldn’t get a wink of sleep in bed with this,” he motioned to all of her. “Not unless we did a few other things first.”  He paused, choosing his next words carefully, face heating. “And while I’d be more than willing to do those things with you, that’s probably something we should talk about without that kind of pressure.” He cleared his throat and smiled down at her suddenly round eyes. “So I’ll sleep on the couch. All that aside, we should probably fix my face and your lipstick before we get to the club, or I’ll catch hell from Juleka for weeks.”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22

A continuation of Hey Gorgeous Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Bonus Scene | Now on AO3

@thethirdwheelfriend

#hey gorgeous #hey gorgeous 2 #campus delivery boy luka #lukanette #i am lukanette trash i admit it #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #miraculousladybug #miraculous ladybug #quickspins

[calpalirwin]

Insecurities

Summary: You were just a girl in a bar when Ashton Irwin literally bumped into you. His interest in you, although charming, also made you question if he was serious. After all, in what world did a man like that pursue a woman like you?

Pairings: Y/N and Ashton

And away, and away we go!

Part 1

You sighed as you set down your phone for the millionth time. You don’t know why you kept checking it. It’s not like you were waiting for anybody. No, you had made the decision to come out alone, to try and enjoy yourself without feeling the pressure to put on a face. After all, despite being old enough to drink, bars weren’t your scene. You weren’t bound to run into anyone you knew here, which had been the whole point of you challenging yourself to do something outside of your wheelhouse.

You took a small sip of your drink, wincing at the taste. Even with the extra glass of Coke you were slowly pouring into your whiskey soda to drown out the taste, the whiskey was still a tad strong for your liking. Bars weren’t your thing for a reason, you reminded yourself as you took another bitter sip. 

So there you were, staring at a still mostly full whiskey soda, in a bar, in downtown LA, on a Friday night, wondering just what the hell you thought you were doing when a loud giggle pierced your ears. The giggle was followed by a body bumping into your shoulder. A heavy sigh escaped your lips as you turned to your intruder. “Shit, sorry, love,” the man giggled with an accent you couldn’t place as you weren’t sure if it was actually an accent or not. One of his large hands came to rest gently on your shoulder, as if making his apology more sincere, and you took notice of the heart tattoo on his wrist.

“Whatever,” you answered shortly, eyeing the man standing behind you- a polka dot button down that showed off part of his chest and more tattoos on his large arms, black jeans, and boot-clad feet- with misplaced annoyance. A part of you knew he didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of your bad mood. It wasn’t his fault you were in an envious spiral and questioning every life decision you ever made. A single shock of reddish brown hair laid across his forehead, stopping just above the pair of hazel eyes that were constantly changing colors under the lights that stared at you with a puzzled expression, no doubt confused that you weren’t already drooling over him. You decided to stare back, narrowing your eyes for added effect. In any other situation this man would be an intimidating piece of eye candy. Someone that you would sputter some nonsense at with a girlish giggle of your own, smitten that a guy like that had his hand on your shoulder. But tonight, he was just somebody who wouldn’t stop staring at you, and good, God could he fucking stop?! You turned your glare to his hand that was still on your shoulder. “Ya mind?” you all but snapped.

He pulled his hand back from your shoulder and used it to brush the single shock of hair back from his face, only for it to return to its rightful place as soon as his hand fell. “Oh, feisty. I like it.” He smiled, revealing the dimple in his cheek.

“Not feisty,” you shot back, choosing to feed your annoyance rather than risk succumbing to the schoolgirl antics you felt bubbling up inside of you. A crush was the last thing you needed right now. “Just have better things to do,” you added, this time with no annoyance in your tone, just numb indifference.

“Oh, like sitting by yourself?” he teased, clearly enjoying the back and forth.

“Says you.”

He nodded in head in the direction of a booth with 3 men who were equally as large and handsome as he was, and 2 girls with more beauty in their little fingers than you possessed in your whole body. “I’m actually here with friends.”

You waved your hand dismissively, “Well, by all means, I wouldn’t want to keep you.”

He leaned in close to whisper in your ear, “Maybe I want to be kept.” His breath was warm as it grazed by your neck, causing you to shudder.

“Trust me, I’m not that interesting.”

“Cute girl alone at a bar? Isn’t that how all the interesting stories start out?”

“I’m not alone,” you said, your senses on high alert. Never let a guy knew you were alone, c’mon quick, say your friend’s in the bathroom, no, say your boyfriend’s on his way! Your mouth opened to tell him your lie, any lie, but no words came out.

His brows furrowed together. “You are alone, huh?”

Against your better judgement, you nodded. Then, “But, it was my choice. And people know where I am.”

He chuckled and nodded his head back to over where his friends were. “Well, why don’t you join us? You’d be surprised at the type of creeps that hang around bars.”

You looked over at his friends. The girls gave you the sense that it was a safe choice, certainly safer than telling him no or staying by yourself. There was something else you couldn’t quite figure out, almost like you knew them. But couldn’t remember from where. You stood up, putting your phone in your back pocket before reaching for your drinks. “Okay, Sir Giggle, I’ll join you and your friends,” you told him.

“Sir Giggle?” he giggled.

“If the name fits,” you answered.

He led you across the bar to his booth, and when his friends looked at you and back at him in question, he answered their unspoken question. “Guys this is… uh… shit…” he giggled as he shot you an apologetic look.

“Y/N,” you said, as you took the seat Sir Giggle was offering you.

“Y/N,” he smiled, both of you liking the way it sounded rolling off his lips. “Y/N this is, Luke, his girlfriend, Sierra, Mike, and his fiancee, Crystal, and that’s Cal.”

They all smiled and offered a small wave as their names were called- first the blonde haired boy, then a dark-haired girl, followed by another blonde boy and blonde girl, and then the dark haired boy- as your brain finally clicked as to why they all seemed familiar, an unintended “Oh, shit…” escaping your lips.

“Is something wrong?” Sir Giggle, better known as Ashton Fuckin Irwin, asked you.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. Just… holy shit, I know you. Well, I don’t know you. I mean… holy shit,” you began to ramble. “Sorry, I didn’t mean… I’m sure you get that all the time… shit… holy fuck, I mean, hi, God, sorry!”

Ashton giggled which caused everyone else to laugh a little, including you. “It’s fine. Cute actually.”

Did Ashton Irwin just call your fangirling cute? No. Fucking. Way. You blushed and ducked your head. “No, it’s actually really stupid. I mean, your just people. People go out to bars. It’s what people do. Normal people.” You were rambling again.

“Normal, Ash, you hear that? We’re normies,” Calum said with a grin.

“Well, Mike probably is,” you put in. “I mean, Michael. Mike? Mikey? Michael. Like you like stuff my friends like. Videogames, nerdy stuff, the likes.”

Michael chuckled, “I think that makes me a nerd, actually. And Mike’s fine. Mikey works too, I’m not picky.”

“Not a nerd,” you smiled. “A punk nerd. Cuz you’re in a… nevermind, bad joke.”

Michael laughed anyway, “Punk nerd, I like it. Got a nice ring to it.”

“Well… I like Mean Girls,” Luke spoke up.

“Oh, my God, shut up, Luke!” Michael said loudly with a roll of his eyes.

Everybody laughed at Michael’s fake-annoyance, and as you laughed with them you felt more at ease. Star status or not, people were just people.

“So, what do you do?” Crystal asked you.

“Oh, I’m a teaching assistant. But I’m finishing school so I can become a teacher,” you answered.

“Picked you a college girl, huh, Ash?” Calum asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I didn’t…” Ashton started to protest from his seat next to you before turning to you to gauge your reaction. “I wasn’t… it was an accident, swear. So, college, huh?”

You smiled gently at him, accident or not, you were now glad he had quite literally bumped into you. This was quickly becoming one of the best nights of your life. “Yeah, I’m gonna be a senior this year. Finally.”

“What do you mean, aren’t you excited?” Ashton asked.

“No, I am. I just… well, college has taken me longer than most, so I feel a little behind the curve sometimes is all.”

“Well, it’s not a race,” Sierra spoke up. “People do things in their own way and time.”

“I guess that’s true,” you nodded. “As long as you get where you’re going, doesn’t matter the pace, right?”

“Wait… so how old are you then?” Ashton blurted. His eyes went wide as the girls glared at him, so he began to backpedal on his question “Shit… I just mean… since you said college has taken you longer than most… Aren’t most college seniors like 21 or 22?”

You nodded, “Generally, yeah. But, I’m 25.”

“Shit, no way! I just turned 25 a few weeks ago,” Ashton told you.

“I know,” you mumbled, cheeks blushing.

“Wait,” Michael asked, leaning forward. “Are you recently 25, like old man Ash? Or…?”

“My birthday was back in December, so I’m older.”

“Isn’t the band’s birthday in December?” Luke asked.

“It’s actually on my birthday,” you admitted, blushing again. “The 3rd.” It had been a fun fact you learned when you became a fan of their work, which regrettably wasn’t all that long ago.

“No shit?” Ashton asked you.

“No shit,” you repeated, cheeks still burning.

As the night wore on, the drunker everyone but you and Ashton became. You weren’t that much of a drinker, and Ashton was on a sober streak of his own. When closing time came around, Ashton offered to walk you to your car.

“A little big for a tiny thing like you, don’t ya think?” he asked, nodding at your truck.

You shrugged. You personally thought the truck was on the small side. “It gets the job done.”

He chuckled. “Text me when you get to where you’re going so I know you got there safe.”

“I don’t have your number,” you pointed out.

“Aw, love, all you had to do was ask,” he teased.

You let a small chuckle of your own as you exchanged numbers. “Thanks. For tonight. It was… nice.”

“We should do it again sometime, then.”

“Well, you have my number,” you told him.

“That I do. Drive safe, love.”

“You, too, Ash,” you said, blushing at the way he called you “Love.”

You watched as he sauntered over to his own car a few spots over, taking a quiet delight in how he waited for you to pull out of the parking lot before he pulled out of his spot. Whether you were misreading his signs or not, there was no denying that he was a guy who looked out for others. And that was never a bad thing in your book.

Your phone pinged while you were still driving down the freeway, your phone sending an automatic text back to the sender. Your phone pinged again and you stole a quick glance at the contact and smiled to yourself.

Once you were safely inside your apartment, you opened your phone to check the texts:

Hey, it’s Ash. I just got in.

I’m driving.

Dang, love, just where do you live?

I’m driving

You quickly shot back a quick text. I live in LA, just not the actual city, lol. Night, Ash.

Glad you’re safe. Sleep well, love. was the quick response back.

You fell asleep, a smile on your face.

#insecurities #part 1 #ashton irwin #5SOS #galcal irwin

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunter x hunter thotz so far

soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)

first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens

the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is 

i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride 

i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)

oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable

ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH 

the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao

i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao 

anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this 

also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too

so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old

and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love 

i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is

i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing. 

is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao 

i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand 

specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)

i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope

actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way 

tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky) 

oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op) 

also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?) 

also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow 

that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy 

tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser 

tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo

i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless

also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right

oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow. 

also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot

i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy. 

love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points) 

oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much 

omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they

HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny 

hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye 

i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further 

also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess 

hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title 

also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny 

ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro. 

also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth 

ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky

kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny

also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious 

ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions) 

oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did 

kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless 

kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY 

rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh 

ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e 

basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY. 

til next timeeee

#i think readmores are broken? sometimes? anyways i hope thats not the case and if so then im sorry everyone #im gonna schedule this for like 3 am this is just for me to ramble lmao #anyways i need a tag #uhhh #lj watches hxh #hxh #bam there we go

[drowning-in-dennor]

Answers

The gang's all here to answer your burning questions! Whether it’s the Oxenstiernas or the Wangs, or your favourite couples, they’re ready to face whatever inquiries you might have! [Written to celebrate two hundred and fifty followers.]

Question One: Literally anything about Bogden please uwu

Bogden: ...this isn’t really a question.

[Aleksander claps Bogden on the shoulder.]

Aleksander: Oh, whatever, just be glad we’re getting attention!

Bogden: Well, okay, but this is pretty weird. I mean, do they want to hear about my personal life, or my relationships, or -

[Aleksander muffles Bogden’s mouth with his hand.]

Aleksander: HIS MIDDLE NAME IS BORIS AND HIS BIRTHDAY IS THE THIRD OF MARCH ALSO HE REALLY LIKES YOGHURT AND HE REALLY LIKES ROSES AND ROSE-FLAVOURED STUFF OH AND HE HAS A PET BUNNY, IS THAT ENOUGH INFO?

Question Two: So what does the butter boy love doing the most with Henrik?

Stellan: I assume I’m ‘the butter boy’.

Henrik, sarcastically: Oh, no, I’m sure it’s Harald, or anyone but the one who stress-baked six hundred butter cookies after a final one day and mailed them to every person in the city!

[Stellan kicks Henrik under the table.]

Stellan: Well, to answer your question, I just love it when we cuddle while watching the sunset. We’re usually sitting outside, in this rocking swing we have in our front yard, watching the sky get painted all these pretty colours. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to see something so lovely with the person you care for the most.

[Henrik turns red.]

Henrik: Y-Yeah, those are really happy times. Holy fuck, I love you so much.

Question Three: What does Berwald like doing with Henrik?

Berwald: Fighting.

Henrik: Sometimes we just crack open a beer and talk about our husbands because we’re both awesomely lucky men. Then Stell has to pick me up the next morning while I’m hungover.

Berwald: Or we design some furniture together.

Henrik: We used to assemble IKEA stuff together until that time I screwed the legs of a chair on wrong and accidentally created a monster.

Question Four: Harald, how do you feel about Henrik and Stellan’s relationship?

Harald: When they got together all those years ago, I was too young to remember much, but when I got older and they got sappier, it was pretty annoying. Like, I’d be having breakfast, and they’d be across the table cuddling or something.

Stellan: Were we that bad?

[Harald crosses his arms.]

Harald: Yes, you were that bad. When you started high school it got even more annoying, because you two would be fucking like rabbits while poor me was right next door.

Henrik: Oh, yeah! We were pretty loud, huh?

Harald: Now, though, they have their own house, so I don’t really care. I get a cool brother-in-law, and Stell has a husband. Works out for both of us.

Question Five, from @kyrakira: What wouwd Stewwan wike mowwe? a pwug ow a couch owo?

[Stellan falls off his chair.]

[Henrik slams his fist on the table and bursts into laughter.]

Stellan, climbing back onto his chair: First of all, I hate how I understand what you’re saying. Second of all, I’d say the plug.

Henrik: HOLY -

Stellan: Fucking a piece of furniture is not as pleasant as it sounds, kids. Don’t try it at home.

Question Six: To Agata: sweet mother, I cannot focus; slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl, how not die?

Agata: Nothing you can do about it. You will look at your pretty girl, and you will have an internal heart attack.

[Tille giggles.]

Agata: You know how I met Tille? I was riding my bike, I saw her. She was pretty. I hit her with my bike.

Tille: You cried, you big kitty cat.

Agata: Yes, I cried. I was overwhelmed by your beauty.

Tille: Aww.

Agata: So, you see a pretty girl, you’re helpless to her charms. Too bad. I can’t help.

Question Seven: How close and warm are y'all nordicks? óuò

Henrik: ...I assume that means us?

[Harald cringes.]

Harald: What the hell is that cursed emoji?

Berwald: You mean emoticon.

Harald: Whatever.

Tino: To answer your question, we go over to each others’ houses for dinner every Friday! Sometimes we do it with Leon’s family, too.

Henrik: It’s really awesome! But when Stellan gets a little too competitive with Vicente, things can get, er, messy.

[Stellan throws up his hands.]

Stellan: The egg tart situation was one time, Henrik! ONE TIME!

Question Eight: To any of you, when was the last time you cried in front of a lot of people? 

Antonio: Gilbert made a face at me in the middle of a presentation, and I laughed so hard I cried.

Ludwig: Pochi...

[Ludwig buries his face in his hands.]

Ludwig: Pochi just tottered up to me and jumped in my lap. It was adorable.

Kiku: Then I cried because Pochi betrayed me for him.

Feliciano: Then I cried because Tama scratched me. I still have the scar.

Question Nine: Harald, out of everyone in your family, who's death would you find most disturbing and why?

[Harald’s eyes widen.]

Harald: Why would you ask something like that? What on earth is wrong with you? Any of their deaths would be disturbing, by the way. I don’t think I could ever bear to see any of them die before me.

[He sniffles and reaches in his pocket for a tissue.]

[Henrik jumps, scowling darkly.]

Henrik: Okay, who made Harald cry?

Harald: Wait —

[Stellan joins Henrik and raises a fist.]

Stellan: They’ll have hell to pay for this.

Harald: ...I love you guys.

Question Ten: Henrik and Stellan, how are your relationships with your parents?

Henrik: Oh, we get along just fine! They were a little shocked when I brought Stellan home for the first time, but not any more. 

Stellan: Between Henrik and Leon, mine have, well, resigned themselves to the fact that they most likely will not have biological grandchildren.

Henrik: We’re not sure if we’re gonna adopt just yet, but if we do, I’m sure our folks would be thrilled!

Question Eleven: To Al, Matt, Arthur, Francis, Ivan and Yao, what are your favorite memories about school?

Yao: Well, it has to be every prize-presentation ceremony at the end of each year. I went on stage every time!

Alfred: Yo, stop flexing, we know you’re a genius already.

[Arthur smiles, clearly lost in his memories.]

Arthur: My time at the school’s literature club was truly unforgettable. I was the president, if you must know, and I finally got an excuse to hide in the library all the time and read.

[Francis laughs.]

Francis: Ah, surely I thought your dearest memory would be of that one time you thought you were carrying around a copy of Pride and Prejudice, but was in reality holding a very saucy volume of Victorian er —

Arthur: HEY, ALFRED! You never told us about your favourite memory!

[Alfred jumps, accidentally smacking Yao on the shoulder. Yao gives him a withering glare.]

Alfred: Oh, yeah. It’s got to be when the soccer team won the last game of the semester, in my senior year! Dang, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.

Matthew: And speaking of competitions, when I got first place in the school’s public speaking competition in grade seven, I completely lost it.

Alfred: You screamed, then hugged me so tightly I saw spots afterwards.

Matthew: I’ll never forget how it felt to win something for the first time.

Francis: My time with Yao in our school’s cooking club was magnificent. Yao, my friend, do you remember the mooncake project?

[Yao perks up.]

Yao: Yes, when we experimented to see how to make mooncakes less oily? That was fun. I still use that recipe to make mooncakes now. 

Matthew: Hey Ivan, you haven’t talked yet. What’s your favourite memory?

Ivan: My favourite memory? Let me think, now...

[Ivan taps his chin.]

Ivan: Meeting you all at the very start of the year, that was amazing.

Alfred: Oh, you big teddy bear!

Arthur: We love you too.

[The six of them collapse in a group hug. The sound of chairs falling fills the room.]

Question Twelve: Out of everyone, who was a dropout and who finished college?

Alfred: I, uh, never went to college. Just decided to go “fuck the system” and started a food cart that I still wheel around the States. If you wanna see me, look for Stars and Stripes!

Matthew: Like Francis, I survived culinary school, but unlike Francis, I only got a degree in the pastry arts.

[Francis rubs his temples.]

Francis: None of you have ever experienced pain until you’ve been through egg day. Nine hundred eggs, all gone to waste because the Chef thought they were bad!

Arthur: I got my degree in English literature at Oxford, and to this day I’m still surprised that I managed to get in.

Yao: I have a degree in medicine, but it’s pretty useless since I run my diner now. By the way, check out Wang’s if you have the time!

[Ivan rubs the back of his head sheepishly.]

Ivan: I got arrested in the middle of college. Now, I just help my sister run her store!

Feliciano: Kiku and I both went to art school! I went to culinary school with Francis after that, though.

Kiku: My student loans haunt me to this day.

Ludwig: It surprises a lot of people, but I dropped out of college while Gilbert’s the one with the degree. 

Henrik: I went to a super-obscure course, namely the textile arts. Most people don’t even know it’s a degree!

Stellan: I got a degree in creative writing at John Hopkins in the US.

Berwald: Went to trade school.

Tino: I don’t really remember much about college. I just remember a lot of coffee, screaming and complaining.

Question Thirteen: What do you love most about yourself, Henrik, Berwald and Stellan? uwu

Stellan: The next person to use “uwu” will have their spleens removed.

Berwald: Very threatening.

Henrik: Well, what I wuv mowost abowouwut mwysewelf is howow I’m able to awways pwiss owoff my bowoyfewnd!

Berwald: What.

[Stellan gets up.]

Stellan: I love you, but say “uwu” again and you’re sleeping on the couch.

Henrik: Why, uwu?

Stellan: OH, THAT’S IT —

[Henrik flees from Stellan.]

Berwald: I love that I married a sane person.

Question Fourteen: Why do you like your best friend, Tino? 3:

Tino: Oh you mean Ed? Well, we’ve been friends since forever, first of all, and we’ve stuck together no matter what! He’s helped me with homework and bullies and all that stuff since we were kids, and I’ve done the same. Best of all, he encouraged me to ask Berwald out, and thanks to him I now have an awesome husband!

[Nearby, Eduard is sobbing.]

Eduard: I love you too!

Question Fifteen: If a=b, multiply by a to get a²=ab, subtract b² to get a²-b²=ab-b², factor them (a+b)(a-b)=b(a-b), cancel a-b, and since a=b the equation is now 2b=b or 2=1; why does math exist? @the Wangs

Leon: ...what?

Vicente: I think I lost half my brain cells just by reading that.

Ling: This is bringing back trauma from school, and that question doesn’t even make sense.

Yao: I’m too old for this crap.

Leon: But to answer your question, math exists because once upon a time some asshole decided to invent numbers and make our lives difficult.

Ling: Seconded.

Vicente: Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to make dinner.

Question Sixteen: Stellan, what's the most difficult decision you've had to make to see your dreams come true?

Stellan: Ohhh, that’s a hard one. I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices to become the person I am today. But if I had to pick, it’d be picking John Hopkins over Oslo Uni, and leaving Harald and Henrik behind. It was worth it, though, since now I’m happy and successful and I can’t have asked for more.

Harald: Aww, I love you too, you bastard.

Question Seventeen: Which family does Peter belong to?

Arthur: He lives with the Oxenstiernas, which is fine with both of us.

Tino: Artie couldn’t handle Peter after his parents passed, so it started out with Ber just babysitting him. But after the two of us got married, Arthur decided to put Peter up for adoption so he could become our son!

Niklas: It was a great decision.

Berwald: What?

Niklas: I mean, it was a terrible decision because now I’m stuck with an awesome — er, annoying — brother for the rest of my life.

Question Eighteen: What do you think is the best thing about your personality, Berwald?

Berwald: Uh...

[He stares off into the distance.]

Berwald: Uhhh...

Tino: Well, I love how everyone’s so intimidated by you, but you’re so snuggly and sweet in reality! 

[Berwald appears to stop breathing.]

Berwald: Thanks.

Question Nineteen: To Alfred, Gilbert and Henrik: what’s the dumbest yet smartest thing you’ve ever done?

Alfred: Dang, that’s a hard one. I’d say the time we threw a dictionary out of the car window, just because.

Gilbert: No, the time we put a block of frozen maple syrup into Matt’s showerhead. But then we got yelled at, so maybe not.

Henrik: How about when we tried to brûlée salt and set off the fire alarm?

[The three of them consider.]

Gilbert: Yoo, what about the frying pan thing?

Henrik: Oh, riiiiight, the frying pan thing!

Alfred: So basically, we put a frying pan on the heart for too long and it melted. Then it turned out that the frying pan was made with unsafe material! That’s kinda smart, I guess.

Question Twenty: Which one of you (anyone ig) has a choking fetish?

[The entire room erupts into chaos.]

Harald: OH MY GOODNESS!

Leon: Who the hell asked this!?

Alfred: You know what? Y’all need Jesus.

[Someone hits the camera and it switches off.]

...

A/N: Yes I know I’m very unfunny but I hope this was at least the tiniest bit fun to read

#i'm not going to fucking tag this #aph fanfiction #my writing

[queenmorgawse]

loving you is my gift tonight

missgoneril : there’s so much going on in that pic i don’t even know where to start fearthedeer : you gotta be more specific. is it dima? his parents in a two-person sweater?? the piglet in a fluffy hat they put on the armchair??? missgoneril : i missgoneril : the holy kingdom of faerghus has actually been on crack this whole time, in this essay i will -

or, some good old-fashioned holidays fluff ft. dimiclaude in modern fodlan.

READ ON AO3.

The envelope arrives a week or so before Saint Cichol’s Day. It’s made of creamy, off-white paper and sealed with an actual wax seal bearing the griffin knight of Faerghus, because royals apparently have to be extra even with something as mundane as sending holiday cards.

It’s actually addressed to Claude’s mother ( President Juliette von Riegan, the envelope reads in elegant, swirling script), but as First Son of the Leicester Alliance, Claude considers himself plenty qualified to snatch it up from the pile of holidays-related mail and whisk it off to his room.

He flops down onto his bed before breaking open the seal. The card inside is just as fancy as the exterior, done up in dark blue and silver highlights, and it’s the funniest thing Claude’s seen all week.

Now, the Faerghan royal family has been sending Saint Cichol’s cards to the von Riegans since the beginning of his mother’s presidency, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. It also doesn’t say anything special, besides Merry Saint Cichol’s day & best wishes from House Blaiddyd in embossed letters.

What is new, however, is that this time, it doesn’t have  one of the Blaiddyds’ formal state portraits front and center. Sure enough, King Lambert and Queen Patricia are posing, flashing toothpaste-ad-worthy smiles at the camera, but there the resemblance comes to a brutal stop.

The photo features Dimitri, clad in possibly the gaudiest holiday sweater Claude’s ever seen. As per ugly sweater tradition, it sports an unholy amount of red and green, but nothing can dethrone the roaring lion’s head emblazoned over Dimitri’s torso, myriads of multicolored lights haphazardly sewn into its mane.

And he still manages to look like Prince Charming straight out of a collector’s edition of Fódlan’s Fables, because Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd is unfairly photogenic like that.

Seiros, life is unfair. Or maybe it isn't, because it’s given him a boyfriend who miraculously still looks good while looking like he’s been hit and run over by a garlands-filled truck.

Because he’s the most loyal best friend anyone could ask for, Claude sits up, holds the card to the lamp on his bedside table, snaps a picture and sends it to Hilda. Her reply is almost instantaneous.

missgoneril : there’s so much going on in that pic i don’t even know where to start

fearthedeer : you gotta be more specific. is it dima? his parents in a two-person sweater?? the piglet in a fluffy hat they put on the armchair???

missgoneril : i

missgoneril : the holy kingdom of faerghus has actually been on crack this whole time, in this essay i will -

fearthedeer : LMAO

fearthedeer : fr tho i think it’s sweet

missgoneril : you have them rose-tinted glasses ON i see

fearthedeer : bold words coming from miss hilda ‘do you think dimitri’s hot blonde bodyguard will text me back?’ goneril

You can no longer send direct messages to this person.

Claude snorts and taps out of the conversation. Not a week goes by that Hilda doesn’t block him at least once. Whatever the reason - from posting their kindergarten playdates pictures on the Golden Deer group chat to that time he jokingly hit on her brother -, she always ends up unblocking him within the hour.

In the meantime, there’s someone else he wants to talk to. Claude flips to the second topmost conversation on his phone, lays back and starts typing.

fearthedeer : on ur way to light up all of fhirdiad by urself i see

hrhdima : I take it you’ve received our holidays well-wishes.

fearthedeer : it’s the BEST how did you not tell me about this before

hrhdima : Mother and Father wanted a ‘fun’ photo to go with our usual ones. I didn’t know they would actually use it for anything official.

fearthedeer : give whoever made that decision a raise bc they just made my entire week

hrhdima : You don’t think it’s silly?

fearthedeer : well.

fearthedeer : yes i do

fearthedeer : it’s definitely dorky

fearthedeer : but since it has you in it it’s dorky cute

fearthedeer : why are u not saying anything

fearthedeer : i told u u gotta learn to accept a compliment!!

hrhdima : Thank you, my dear. I had to take a few moments to compose myself.

fearthedeer : SEIROS

fearthedeer : HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING ADORABLE 😭

hrhdima : 😳😳

fearthedeer : if i were here you BET i’d be kissing your cheeks

fearthedeer : but alas, the day’s just started for ur local first son

hrhdima : What’s the first thing on the list?

fearthedeer : visiting a kids’ hospital i’m pretty sure! hilda and i have some Clownery planned so i sure hope they’ll laugh

hrhdima : I’m sure they will. If you end up filming, I’d love to see it.

fearthedeer : eager to see me embarrass myself huh

hrhdima : Claude! Of course not!

fearthedeer : flames, i was kidding!! of course i’ll send u the vid!

hrhdima : Oh.

hrhdima : Good luck with...the clownery?

fearthedeer : thanks, good luck with what you have to do too <3

hrhdima : Thank you. Speaking of which, can I call you later? Ingrid’s banging down my door about the holidays address right now.

fearthedeer : sure!! have fun at rehearsal, romance that sweet sweet mic for me 😘😘

hrhdima : Claude, please.

fearthedeer : u love me

hrhdima : I do.

hrhdima : I wish we could see each other more, especially at this time of the year. I miss you a great deal.

fearthedeer : wtf you can’t just say stuff like that

hrhdima : We’re quite literally dating.

fearthedeer : STILL

fearthedeer : anyway don’t you worry your pretty royal head over it

fearthedeer : it’s time for a secret scheme >:)

hrhdima : Claude. What does this mean.

fearthedeer : ;)

hrhdima has sent a vocal message.

Hi Claude, this is Ingrid. Sorry for interrupting you guys, but Dimitri has an address to practice, so I had to take his phone away for the time being. Will give it back when he’s done. Say hello to Hilda for me!

fearthedeer : dedue wouldn’t do this to me

---

missgoneril : SWEET BABY SEIROS SHE SAID WHAT

---

“...And with that, my dear citizens, all that's left for me to do is wish you a Merry Saint Cichol's day. Hold your loved ones close, so that they might share the holidays' cheers with you. I know I will.”

Dimitri flashes the camera another bright smile before the operator signals to him that they're done filming. From the treshold, Sylvain gives him a thumbs-up, and Dedue an approving nod. Only then does Dimitri allow himself to relax, shoulders slumping ever so slightly.

It isn't the address that bothers him, nor the ever-present fear of slipping up in front of millions of Faerghus citizens on live television. He's been groomed in protocol for public appearances, virtual or not, since he was old enough to walk. No, it's the creeping realization that, year after year, he gives a little more time to the people, and keeps a little less to himself.

It's selfish, which is precisely why Dimitri's only vaguely mentioned it even to his closest friends. They'd whisk him off to some holiday destination at the speed of light if he asked, he knows, but it doesn't feel right to shirk his duties — even though Sylvain wouldn't call it shirking, only giving himself a well-deserved break.

After a few minutes of idle chatter with the camera crew - Dimitri's made it a habit to try and get to know everyone he works with, to the point he can now ask after some of the operators' children by name -, he finally steps out of the royal office requisitioned for the occasion. When he idly checks his phone, the screen flashes with half a dozen notifications : a picture of Felix and Ingrid on St Cichol's shopping (presumably for Glenn), some last minute recommendations from both his father and Duke Fraldarius, and…

fearthedeer : hey hey hey

fearthedeer : dima

fearthedeer : u should go get some fresh air 😜

fearthedeer : (front gate. hurry!!!)

fearthedeer : i see u typing. why don’t u walk faster instead

Dimitri picks up the pace, until he’s almost flying past the castle’s front gates and into the main courtyard. At first, nothing seems more out of the ordinary : the gatekeepers even shoot him perplexed looks as their crown prince stares out, half disheveled, at the snow-covered cobblestones.

Then a nondescript black cab pulls up, somehow unbothered by security checks, and everything suddenly pieces itself together.

Dimitri’s down the staircase before anyone can stop him, right as the cab’s door open and a silhouette clad in a vibrant yellow sweater steps out. Claude’s barely finished handing the driver a tip when Dimitri comes to a brutal stop just a few steps from him, heart beating wildly against his ribcage.

They exchange pictures pretty much everyday, but there’s an inherent brilliance to Claude a screen can’t capture. It’s something, Dimitri thinks, in the way his smile blooms first over his lips then reaches all the way to his eyes. Every time, it’s like watching the sun rise.

Claude opens his arms. Wordlessly, Dimitri lets himself be drawn into his embrace, curls around him and breathes in the fresh scent of pine needles.

Eventually, he finds it in himself to step back. His hands stay firmly planted on Claude’s shoulders, grounding himself in the other’s presence. “It really is you.”

Claude grins and tips an imaginary hat at him. “The one and only.”

“Flames, I—” Dimitri takes a deep breath in an attempt to compose himself. “How...when did you get here?”

“On a plane this morning. And before you ask, it wasn't on taxpayers' money,” Claude quips.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to see you, but why now?” Dimitri’s brain frantically cycles through their relationship milestones. Their anniversary’s in early summer, and Claude’s birthday isn’t for another few months, and⎯

Claude gently takes his face into his hands, tiptoeing a little to rest their foreheads together, and Dimitri’s mind comes to a standstill.

“Hey, calm down, okay? You’re overthinking everything again.” Claude pauses, breathes in, breathes out. “Would you believe me if I said I’m a little late for your birthday?”

Oh. It’s true. His birthday, a national holiday. How did it slip his mind again?

As if able to read his mind, Claude chuckles. “Really, I just wanted to see you again. In person. I already meant it to be a Saint Cichol’s surprise, and our texts the other day were just...additional motivation, if you will.”

“You’re amazing,” Dimitri says, as earnest as he’s ever been. This time, it’s Claude’s turn to blush, a rosy flush creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. It offers a nice contrast to the paleness of the snowflakes that have started accumulating in his hair, dusting his dark curls with white.

It occurs to Dimitri that perhaps they should have had this conversation inside.

“Come,” he tells Claude, slinging an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders to steer him back towards the castle’s warmth. “You must be freezing.”

Claude snorts and tucks his chin down into the collar of his coat. “Only because your country considers negative temperature to be mild weather.”

“It’s only starting to get chilly, really⎯” Dimitri cuts himself off when Claude shoots him a half-exasperated, half-fond look.

Before he can fumble himself into another clumsy explanation, Claude tugs him down by the lapels of his jacket and presses a kiss to his lips. It courses through him like lightning, all the way down to the tips of his toes, and it lingers even after Claude pulls away.

“Well, you’re here to keep me warm, aren’t you? Lead the way.”

Like this, his love is bright and lovely, the great hall’s flickering hearth painting him in broad strokes of honey and gold.

Dimitri takes Claude’s hand, and follows.

#fe3h #dimiclaude #claumitri #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #kim's fics