*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*
Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?
Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.
Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?
Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-
Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?
Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.
Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?
Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-
Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…
Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.
Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!
Spider-Man:….
Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.
Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?
Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!
Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?
Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-
Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!
Hear me out, DP and DC crossover where Scarecrow is cousins with the Fentons.
His mother was siblings with Jack’s father, and both Jazz and Danny met ‘Uncle Jonathan’ during one of the many Fenton-Nightingale family reunions that happens every few years. Honestly, perhaps it’s what gets Jazz interested in psychology, hearing from her ‘uncle’ about fear and its effects.
And honestly once they start having to deal with ghosts and having had to deal with their parents for years it’s not really hard to talk with their uncle. Crane still doesn’t know how he became these kids’ favorite uncle, or even all of the family kids’ favorite uncle-cousin, but that’s just how the family is.
Really he’s not even the only villain of the family, with both Jack and Maddie being close but not quite, even if they’re definitely mad scientists. Their son becoming a local hero, even if they’re not aware of that fact, is just ironic.
John knows. The two kids told him when they found out that Danny may or may not need to feed on fear now that he’s half ghost, and well he’s the specialist about the emotion so…
At least they have someone to stay with when Jazz goes to Gotham university and brings Danny with her, even if the local vigilantes are concerned as to why Scarecrow attacks have suddenly took a nosedive…
[After they talk about Pac's debt to the Pancake Mafia, and Pac warns her about Sir Reaper]
Bagi: I think you're the one that needs to be careful, because soon you might lose your other leg.
Pac: N-no! NO! Please don't! Stop- stop! STOP TALKING LIKE YOUR BROTHER!
Bagi: [Laughs]
Pac: I'll pay you– I'm going to pay you!
I want to give a MASSIVE thank you to @wasabi-ribs, who was kind enough to check my translations and help me with the parts I missed (and also reviewed the final subtitled video)!
[ Transcript continued ↓ ]
-
Bagi: Pac, pay the rent!
Pac: I'm going to pay! Hey- I'm going to pay right this second, the money that I owe you, and... and I'm- I'm serious! And look, if you want- if you have more money... If I pay your 4,500, will you lend me 4,500? No, then I'll actually drown in fees. [Laughs]
Bagi: [Laughs] I'll lend you, I'll lend you
Pac: No, not really Bagi. You've got those red eyes– I'm scared, Bagi. I don't know– I don't know what happened, actually it's an eye infection, I know– But something tells me it's not just an eye infection, that it's also some other things, you know? Like, um... y'know, right? [He fumbles again] Oh God wait, your brother– when he had those red eyes he would also turn evil. Nonononono– I'll pay you, ok? Where's the waystone? It's here, it's here, it's here– I'll pay you, ok? I'll pay the 4,500- we're gonna–
Bagi: I'll be waiting.
Pac: No no, oh- just– Just let me walk, my God, I love walking– OH, WALKING IS SO GOOD – [Pac teleports] I'll pay her.
[Bagi follows him moments after]
Pac: [Pac mumbles to himself as he begins transferring money to Bagi] 4,500... I need to pay her 4,500...
Let the latest patches add whatever new dialogue they write in, but Patch 0 gave me free range to ✨interpret✨ and this will forever be Greygold's canon, HA
For all intents, I did the hell heist as the last-last quest before the finale (So as to be fully prepared and supportive "finishing" babe's personal quest)
AND BECAUSE OF THIS, I was tired. Greygold was tired. I was ready to beat the game. I was rushing. STEALING FROM RAPHAEL WAS STRESSING ME OUT. and I dared not go back. So even though Greygold did not want to go through with Haarlep's "game", I couldn't have picked a worse time to forget about their "always another way" philosophy
Poor Half-orc was so determined not to fail Lae'zel's personal quest that, for once, ignored companion disapproval. And apparently, with Lae'zel not disapproving nakey Greygy, it looked like Babe was willing to retrieve that hammer no matter the cost either! Until Haarlep said they wanted nakey Greygy to play a "game" with them.
Babe disapproved that time. Babe, who's been cranky all this time, thought not even this way was worth getting the hammer for. Babe still cared about what happened to Greygold.
So by the gods, I happily reloaded and thankfully found a different way, HUAH. Thank you, Babe. Found out later that apparently going the Haarlep way would've suuuuucked. Saved by the babe.
Thus I concluded why Babe was so cranky and can't kiss to save her life (I'm looking at you patch 6). And why Greygold's never had another hrm- pleasant conversation with Emps since the last time.
Poor sleep-deprived Lae'zel was bugged as hell killer coconut not because she was mad at Greyg, but because she'd been burning through all of her energy and affection by trying to protect Greygold from any further illithidry influence.
Like they’re used to the shifting into animals aspect of Nimona because she does it as often as she breathes
But sometimes she’ll do some really creepy shit like make her arms longer to reach something when she’s too lazy to get up
One time they shifted just their neck to be like an owl so they could turn their head 180 degrees instead of just turning around cause that was “too boring”
Or he’ll mimic people’s voices without realizing it
Sometimes he’ll tell a story and suddenly he’s using Bal’s voice
The first time she did this Bal searched the whole house cause he was convinced that Todd has snuck in
Or she’ll grow an extra arm to hold more shit and they take a moment to realize “oh yeah we adopted a little weirdo”
They get used to it after a while and the arguments surrounding it are always funny because both the boys will complain and say “I don’t sound like that” and they have to be told “No love you do you really do”
You know those videos of babies reacting to their parents shaving their facial hair or putting on glasses
That’s Nimona's reaction every single time the boys change their appearance even the smallest bit they cant shave or wear their reading glasses because if they do he freaks out
Talking some “help me Nemesis I heard bosses voice but I can’t find him” while Bal was standing right in front of them
It was the first time he shaved his face in years and he’s never doing it again
Mostly cause Ambrosius kept telling him he looked like a teenager and it was freaking him out
I feel like Bal and Ambrosius are those kinds of people who will tell people about the little injuries but neglect the big ones
Like Bal mentioned that he thinks he sprained his ankle during the fight at the institute but he won’t mention that he’s pretty sure he got a concussion
(BECAUSE THIS MAN HEAD-BUTTED TWO PEOPLE WHEN HE HAS A METAL ARM)
(I’m bout to wrap this man in bubble wrap and give him a helmet because wtf)
Ambrosius will complain the whole day about the fact that he has a paper cut
But will completely neglect to inform his doctors “Oh yeah I can’t move my left arm higher than my waist without pain and I can’t see that well out of my left eye or hear that well out of my left ear do you think that’ll be a problem?”
It isn’t until Nimona makes an off handed comment about how this super weird that the laser did basically nothing to him that he told both of them
They literally dragged him to the ER because “Who thinks those symptoms are normal Nemesis what is wrong in that pretty little head of yours!!”
When Bal tells Nimona she’s being a bit of a hypocrite (cause who refers to an arrow as a splinter?) she turns to him and says “I know you’re not saying something Mr. Human battering ram”
It took literally everything in Ambrosius not to break down laughing
After that she forces them to have frequent checkups with the doctor because these dorks wouldn’t go otherwise
Honestly I'm fully convinced that some people in the kingdom don't know who Nimona is and are constantly confused why they let this little weirdo follow them around
And finally the curiosity will eat away at them and they’ll finally ask
Sometimes the boys will give some “normal” answers like “Oh that’s Nimona” and they won’t elaborate at all
Sometimes they’ll give funnier answers like “Oh that’s a raccoon we found in the garage who turned into a person one day” “I don’t know they just showed up in our living room” and their personal best “You see her too?”
And their favorite that they only started using a couple of years down the line “Oh that’s our kid”
I have been having a strong urge to make another puppet oc, so alas, take this pain iv made-
When I mean pain, I literally mean it- JDHHFHDH I got so stressed out trying to color him that my adrenaline spiked and now I’m trying to relax LMAOOOO
but anyway, here’s Robbie (not to be confused with Robert), a Howdy family member oc, cause who am I as a howdy supremacy supporter if I didn’t have SOMEBODY related to him smhh. He’s kinda an smartass/asshole (being a 3 horned rhinoceros beetle) but when ya get to know the bastard he’s a nerdy lil goof who’ll never shut up about literally anything he’s done. How many crimes has he committed? He lost count smh.
he’s a little bit more of a serious character-? But he’s kinda still in the same playing field as Dr.Stone is where they are a “guest character”. Also unlike Dr.Stone who has a set occupation, Robbie hops from job to job, one day he’s working at your local seven eleven, the other day he’s a astronaut going to space (don’t ask how he the hell he even got in- he’s too crafty for his own good-)
Qui-Gon: *on his first night with Padawan Kenobi after his older padawans convinced him he needed a new baby so he’d bother someone else* Alright, now I think it’s bedtime. I know it’s a bit earlier than usual but you have a whole new set of classes to switch to tomorrow so we have to get up early.
Obi-Wan: *is only 11, is fine with more sleep* Okay, Master! *wanders off to get in his pajamas*
Qui-Gon: *making a pot of sleepy tea*
Obi-Wan: *comes back in jammies looking confused*
Qui-Gon: What’s wrong, Padawan?
Obi-Wan: I can’t find my sleepy cocoon.
Qui-Gon: …your sleeping bag? Oh, I assumed you used that for camping in the room of a thousand fountains, do you usually sleep in that at night?
Obi-Wan: ??? No? No I use it sometimes but you’re right, that’s for camping nights. I mean my sleepy cocoon?
Qui-Gon: …what is a sleep cocoon?
Obi-Wan: It’s… it’s a stretchy fabric that goes over you?
Qui-Gon: …gimme a second, I don’t think I saw anything like that in your bags.
One call to the creche later
Creche Master: Is something wrong with Padawan Kenobi settling in?
Qui-Gon: Um, he’s missing something that I don’t think I’ve seen. He called it his sleepy cocoon?
Creche Master: Oh! That went into the laundry this morning, it probably got delivered back to us, I’ll have it sent right away.
Qui-Gon: Um, I need to ask… what is a sleepy cocoon?
Creche Master: *snort* It’s an anti-grav sleeping tube. It’s a compression material so he doesn’t feel it when he starts to float in his sleep. He’s too close to the cosmic force to control it, so they give him the compression tube.
Qui-Gon: …you’re saying he disobeys gravity in his sleep, so the tube makes him stop realizing it?
Creche Master: Yeah, it’s pretty important, actually. It keeps his joints in place. No cricks in his neck or dead arms if they start to fall.
Qui-Gon: Amazing. A straight jacket for his cosmic force abilities. I adore it. Please send it here. He can get out of it on his own, right?
Creche Master: Oh course, it’s just pressure, not actually being tied up.
Qui-Gon: Delightful. I’ll get him extras for off planet missions.
The model!Bernard is great but wouldn’t it be mostly likely Tim to be the model since he is a public figure?
yeah ig, logically, tim would be more likely to model than bear but i was thinking of this image when writing that
the og image gives off a sense longing more than horniess but i'm tired of making everything sad. also i just think bear is pretty enough to model. like look at him. this tim and this bear
or wait, fuck, this tim and this bear
model!bear and ceo!tim become gotham's it couple. the tabloids can't stop reporting on it. there's a new breakup rumor every week. the wayne fanbase on twt goes rabid over it. there are fansites dedicated to them. @/imyellingtimber, @downbadfordowd, @drakeinpants, the whole works. they get married and the internet breaks.