#like most of the time i am deluded enough to think that i am kinda over everything that happened in this manga

[plutoslvr]

Okay so in my last Kevin post, I mentioned I have analysis' on how Kevin isn't a coward and how his trauma still affects him and you guys wanted to read it so here!

Why Kevin Day Isn’t a Coward: 

Essentially this comes down to 3 specific points in the fandom and even in the books since people are very adamant about the whole coward thing. The two things that people (in book and fandom-wise) use to argue that Kevin is a coward are: 

Kevin is still afraid/ doesn’t stand up to Riko 

That he left Jean behind in the nest.

Starting off with the first point. Kevin is still afraid and doesn’t stand up to Riko for the majority of the books. Firstly, we need to understand that Kevin has been abused from an extremely young age in the Nest and was conditioned into thinking that kind of behaviour was normal. And by that I mean specifically Riko’s abuse but before that, it was Coach Moriyama that abused both of them. 

He was stuck in the Nest for over a decade where his only role was “property” the entire time. That was all he would ever be to them and additionally to that, he wasn’t even allowed to be better than Riko. His entire life from the very start has been about exy but it was only after his mothers death where it became life or death. 

During tfc when Neil finds out how Kevin’s hand really broke Wymack says “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it."

He wasn’t raised to have anything else, exy is quite literally his everything, and without it, he has nothing and nobody. In this same scene, Wymack says, “Kevin doesn't talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn't the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away.”

We never find out in detail what exactly happened to Kevin in the Nest but in TRK when Neil goes there we can see how deluded and obsessed Riko is with Kevin.

Neil moved up alongside him and regretted it almost immediately. Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.

Riko is so sure that Kevin is going to come back to him because he’s instituted such fear into him, he doesn’t think Kevin has the strength to stand up to him. Which he does, but people don’t seem to realise you can’t undo over a decade's worth of trauma overnight. 

Anyway, during Neil’s time in the Nest, he’s treated very similarly to how Kevin would be considering he was in his place but also not as harsh because they had to send Neil back to the Foxes inevitably.

"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin."

What follows this is Riko tying Neil down and torturing him with a switchblade. By the time Neil leaves the Nest he doesn’t remember anything from the experience- he was so traumatised by it that he doesn’t remember it at all. (It also kinda sucks how Neil gets more sympathy for being in the nest for 2 weeks than Kev did for being there for over a decade.)

Putting this into perspective, Kevin went through that for so much longer and doesn’t get nearly enough of the same sympathy Neil did. Neil returned and Kevin got punched for letting him go even though he tried persuading Neil not to. Kevin has always had Neil’s best interest at heart. 

Kevin shook his head and bulled on when Neil started to argue. "The master wants to salvage you. He's going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won't tell the main family he's found you." "I'm not a Raven," Neil said. "I never will be." "Then run," Kevin insisted, low and frantic. "It's the only way you'll survive."

Kevin was willing to sacrifice the only chance he had to prove his autonomy to the Moriyamas if it meant Neil would be safe. Without Neil, they wouldn’t have enough players to qualify and they wouldn’t be able to play at all. (Again: “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it.")

Not to mention the whole “Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court." It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.

And even after that, he promised to teach Neil, because at the end of the day, Neil was still Neil and he never gave up on him once.

And Neil understood that being on the run for 8 years was more preferable to the Nest. 

“But all Neil had to do was look at Kevin to know he would have hated that life 

too.”

Sorry I kinda went off track there anyway we can also see how much Riko’s presence still affects Kevin especially in scenes like the Kathy Ferdinand show. 

“Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this show evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror.”

Obviously, we all know what a dickhead Neil’s dad was to him so Neil comparing the fear of his father being similar to Kevin’s fear of Riko is so important because it just puts into perspective how afraid Kevin is here face-to-face with his abuser the first time since said abuser permanently disabled him.

But what I don’t think is that Kevin has been standing upto Riko since the start because right after this when they were backstage, Kevin physically stopped Riko from hurting Neil even if it meant getting hurt by Riko again.

A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat.

This scene is probably the best to describe how downright afraid Kevin is of Riko but there are others when Kevin has multiple panic attacks at just the thought of Riko or being in the same vicinity as him and rightfully so! Riko abused him, manipulated him and then took away the only thing he had. And Kevin was just forced to think this was okay. 

And a lot of characters and fans see his fear as cowardice instead of a normal trauma response. This is also because Neil tends to speak out more against Riko than Kevin (You know I get it…) but unlike Neil, Kevin has had direct repercussions towards him for the “mistake” of talking back to Riko which of course makes him hesitant. 

He knows the Moriyamas could drag him back at any moment and he's terrified of that happening.

Which leads to the second bit of “Kevin doesn’t stand up to Riko.” when many times, he has.

The most prominent example is in TRK, just after the foxes lost their first match to the ravens.

“You have fallen so far, Kevin. You should have stayed down and saved us the trouble of forcing you back to your knees." "I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."

Kevin chose the foxes over the ravens- over Riko. He doesn’t allow their loss to become something Riko can use against him but instead something to affirm his current standing with them. This is also the first game Andrew played without his meds meaning he’s crashed by the end of it.

Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them.

Kevin willingly turned to talk to his ex-abuser and his team if it meant Andrew wouldn’t be under fire. Most people only see Kevin and Andrew as Andrew protecting Kevin but Kevin protected Andrew just as much.

And of course we have the whole tattoo removal and the last exy match against the foxes but I need everyone to understand that those are so so so important. Kevin spent the entire series save the last quarter of the last book viewing himself as Riko’s property. Riko refers to him as such and even without Riko near him, his control is still strong over Kevin.

So Kevin removing his tattoo and replacing it with something with a higher hierarchical structure than Riko’s status as king is so detrimental, it’s a turning point for him because he’s viewing himself as his own person now. And Kevin scoring the winning goal brings us full circle because the last time he did that with Riko, he ended up disabled and shunned.

This brings me to my second point about Kevin running away from the nest. Alot of people see Kevin escpaing from the nest and leaving behind Jean as an act of cowardice. This bit gets a bit complicated because in no way shape or form am I trying to compare trauma’s or anything like that.

But to continue on. The ravens had a very strict policy that we got to see during Neil's experience one of which being that no matter how injured they were, they were still expected to show up to practice. The more mistakes they made the more punishment they'd find themselves in. Not showing was practically a death wish.

Now Kevin having his hand fucking broken would mean thay either he doesn't practise and get punished or practise with his fucked up hand and further damage it. If he stayed I wholeheartedly believe he would've died.

He ran away to save his life and that will never be cowardice not once. He didn't go to Wymack immediately when he found out because he knew what kind of target he'd paint on Wymacks back.

"He was trying to protect him," Neil said. "If Coach knew Kevin was his son, he'd have tried to take him from Edgar Allan." Nicky grimaced. "They'd have never let Kevin go." 

He only left when he had no other option. He had nothing left, the one thing he did have was taken away from him, he had no purpose and for once Riko didn't care enough about him to pay attention. And he used that to run.

Leaving Jean behind was something he always regretted, but it was a game of survival. Jean was a gift to the Moriyamas, he was also property to them and couldn't leave. And if the roles were reversed I strongly believe Jean would've done the same thing.

Also Kevin finds a place for him layer with the trojans because he knew that being a fox wouldn't be good for him.

"He isn't safe with us," Kevin said. "I won't give him false hope."

Staying in the nest would've been suicide for Kevin. He's one of the biggest victims in the series but nobody talks about it enough I fear and there's so much to learn about him via context clues etc.

And the saddest thing in my opinion is that Kevin knew was it was like to be loved, he was raised by his mother for a few years before going to the Moriyamas. 

ANYWAY to conclude, I suck at essays and I hope I've worded everything well and what I'm trying to say gets across. Kevin is not a coward, never has been a coward and never will be. He's survived through such a damaging and abusive environment only to get moved to a separate environment where everyone just ridicules his defense tactics and he has no real sense of support. 

His reasons for what he does always stems from the fact the he doesn't want to go back to being under Riko and Coach Moriyamas "care" and that he's afraid. And most of the time it's things he can't shake from the nest.

Like when he pushes the foxes its so they're always at their best and so none of them get hurt or punished for mistakes. He pushed himself the hardest because he doesn't want to directly affect his teammates. 

Or the celebrity persona he was forced to develop.

Or how he makes sure everyone is staying healthy and that they don't force themselves to play when sick or injured because he knows what it's like to be forced to play like that day after day. 

AND IVE GONE OFF COURSE AGAIN yeah I kinda mashed together both analysis' of how Kevin's trauma from the nest affects him and how he's not a coward into one thing AND THIS IS SUPER LONG so if ur still here thank you very much for reading I really hope this makes sense

#kevin days defense lawyer right here #this is the longest thing ive ever posted on tumblr #aftg #kevin day #aftg kevin #neil josten #aftg neil #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aftg series #aftg andrew #andriel #kandreil #kevneil #kandrew #david wymack #riko moriyama #FUCK HIM #jean moreau

[dangermousie]

God, this sequence was BRUTAL and I adored it. Basically, he can't help himself and keeps throwing jibes about her and the painter and she finally has had enough:

And so she loses it, and hits back and in her attempt to protect herself, draws blood! (The thing is, she has NO idea that he is still in love with her; hell she still has no idea he lied in jail. She is angry and vulnerable.)

And that hits him straight in the heart - all his barely controlled, unacknowledged terror that he's missed his chance, that she won't ever like him again, that she's moved on.

So he addresses it in a mature manner in a private measured discussion. Psych!!! She drew blood so he goes for the jugular ten times worse. The man has only two defense mechanisms when hurt - to retreat behind his walls (tried, didn't work) or when that's impossible, to lash out to make the other person back off and/or to hurt as he's been hurt. And so this utter and complete mess pours out of him, in front of the whole office...

The thing is, what he doesn't realize (and she doesn't realize it either, she's too emotionally compromised) how utterly this rant proves he's so so so in love with her - it doesn’t just show he's out of his mind with jealousy, it's like him reminding her, in the most dysfunctional way possible, see you liked me me me meeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeee! And the fact that he talks about all these little things she did back way when means he actually remembered the supposedly insignificant to him things for YEARS in glorious technicolor. He has revealed himself completely and neither of them is together enough to realize it.

And then he brings this up as his finishing comment and I kinda flail like Kermit because this is the crux, isn't it - this is him, telling her in the world's most dysfunctional manner that he is feeling betrayed, that she should keep her word and choose him and just - he was never great at communicating or showing his feelings in a functional way but he got better (his sister shortly before she died even commented that he learned to express love) and then jail happened and all the progress was undone and then some. This is a man mere weeks out of jail, any hope of him processing and expressing himself in a functional manner would be deluded.

I mean look at them, both equally heart broken and such a total mess.

The thing is, the fact that it makes sense for someone with his issues and his personality and his background to lash out like this, does not negate the fact that he hurt her terribly and she deserved none of it. If you think about it, in his whole life, she's the only person who's ever fought for him - everyone else was either unable or unwilling. I mean, I am sure his mother didn't want to die and leave him but the fact remains, he was the caretaker between the two of them; he feels his sister picked her abusive husband over him, Gao betrayed him, dancer friend couldn't do anything, teachers didn't care (look at her mommy expelling him), cops didn't care (his sister's accident) etc etc. And here is this beautiful, kind, warm, brighter than the sun young woman who fights for him and fights for him - fights for a place on his team, fights for his friendship and his heart, fights to provide a place for him after his life is wrecked. She just doesn't give up and not even he can make her give up permanently. And then he thinks she's dating painter dude and logically so what - she has every right to do so - but that pushes all his jealousy and abandonment issues and he just implodes.

I love so much that the office is on her side btw (man, they must view the real life soap as a hell of a bonus to their working life) and the thing is, the moment after he said what he said, you can tell it sink in for Li Xun how unforgivable and heinous that outburst was (and not like in jail for a good cause either.)

Poor girl! Yes, your ex boyfriend is an idiot, I am sorry.

#cdrama #chen feiyu #zhang jingyi #lighter and princess

[not-souleaterpost]

opinion on gopher

Well no shade at any Gopher fans but not really positive so dont read further if you dont wanna be sad😂

To me Gopher kind of is one of the reasons for my controverial oppinion of the anime being better than the manga:

The most simple and least pretentious way of describing my thoughts and reasons is - I find him unfunny and obnoxious, while also feeling that he is a pointless charachter with wasted potential at the same time.

But to get more into detail...

When did he get introduced (if I remember correctly?): During that whole mini-arc about Maka wanting "to be an angel".

I have many problems with that part of the story, especially with how it turns Maka into some generic "tsundre kawaii girl who not so secretly likes the guy who she is bitchy too"

But I wont get too much into that, just the fact that I get the point - Gopher gets introduced as foil to her in that arc, to kinda give her a reality check of how unlikeable and childish she is acting.

But the point is, that even with the most charitable interpretation of the arc, Gopher IS just by his nature a charachter tailor-made (literally) to be obnoxious and annoying.

And unlike Excalibur, I find the way in which he is just groan-worthy and not charming and soothing (Yeah Excalibur is great, shout out to the OG)

But ok, maybe thats just bad impresions, does he improve later? Not really cause his whole gag stays this kinda creepy quasi incestious obssesion with Noah and idk, dont even wanna write about that part too much lol

But even if one just looks at it as a charachter trait with possible development, it leads nowhere, Gopher being static besides his final gag (which I admit is funny but also a bit ehh with the whole implication of what hes gonna do with 7 naked unconcious bodies...)

Still, one could say why am I'm expecting something out of a gag charachter? Just dont overthink it - maybe I wouldnt if Ohkubo didnt kinda setup a situation where it seemed there could be more to him, only to be just wasted panel time in the end:

What I mean is, the whole setup of him torturing and integoriating Kid - which seemed to be a perfect opportunity for charachter development for both of them - because they actually have some simmilarities:

Both are "created" and "reverant" to their Father-figure, both have unhealthy obssessions and both start throwing childish tantrums when things dont go their way. (also surface details like both seemingly being anime pretty boys appeiling to a specific demographic, with the dark hair and proper dress-code etc)

Yet all that didnt lead to anything - neither Gopher realised that his "master" is horrible compared to the other side, nor did it make Kid reflect about his own obssessions and how obnoxious and ridicolous he must look to others.

Neither was there anything about being sorta non human, "created" not born - but thats excusable cause that was revealed after the fact in Kids case.

Hell, still there could be even some strengthening of both sides negative traits, the tragedy of communication being impossible, but all lead just to an ok gag of Kids face being made unsymmetrical.

But also on a tangent, the whole "black wings" thing also just seems to be derivative - especially when the much stronger parallel of "angel vs demon" with black and white wings was between Maka and Crona, so yeah I think the whole obnoxious Maka and Gopher thing kinda deluded that meaning, but thats more of a pet peeve.

Still, to leave of not with just bitching, but an interesting thought, or atleast kinda funny in a stupid way (enough that I will prolly use it as filler in my iceberg videos):

So Gopher is a creation of Noah. But Noah is just one of seven other creations. Who are made by the Index, which is just a manifestation of a part of the Book of Eibon, which was written by the Wizard of the same name.

How many layers of being a tool is that?😂

#soul eater #gopher #soul eater iceberg #yeah...sorry #pseudo essay #answered ask #idk

[finniestoncrane]

Dear god I am foaming at the mouth at your latest daddy oz fic like god he's so cute but also it's so funny cause im imagining they're both in a room full of people and they're doing the disgustingly cute display of "you're cute" "no you're cuter" and everyone is standing around waiting for them to leave like 🧍‍♂️

Rogues Reacting to PDA

Farrell!Penguin x GN!Reader anon this is so funny and i cannot tell you what i wouldn't give to be this embarrassing with him u-u so i kinda took your idea and did the other rogues reacting to this display of sickening sweetness 💜 (also i know it's farrell!oz and we don't have really have other reeves rogues to react to but shhhhh we can just generalise and wildly speculate shhhhh) 🐧☔ request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: language, fluff, jealousy maybe 👀

poison ivy

"i love you so much!" "well i love you more!" "no i love you more, sweetheart!" it's sickeningly sweet, but she's a romantic at heart so she can forgive the display for a brief period, until ozzie starts eyeing up her prized roses and she just knows he's considering plucking one off the bush to hand to you and love or no love she'll break hands. of course then she'll have to put up with you fawning over him and telling him what a poor little soul he is, and that might be worse

two face

"i wanna just bite your cute little nose ozzie" "well why don't you come over here and nibble on me" ok that's enough now! if one of you doesn't actually eat the other then he'll feel like he's suffered through all of this for nothing. this might be the only time that one is better than two in his mind and if he has to come over there and physically separate you both then he will. there's nothing cute about organised crime bosses says mister grumpy da over here, so stop babying oswald now

riddler

"god, kiddo, you're the best thing to happen to me" "wow ozzie, you're the sweetest, handsomest, smartest guy around" well that takes the fucking cake! here's the thing, you can rub your new found love and romance in front of everyone's faces. you could get a room and do whatever disgusting carnal things he can see dancing around your eyes in there in private. that's fine, he doesn't mind. you can maybe delude yourself into thinking he's the most handsome. but the smartest? and in front of him!?

zsasz

"when i get you alone, the things i'm gonna do to you" "i don't think anyone's watching ozzie, give me a taste!" if he shoots himself now, will someone make sure to etch a little mark on his skin for him? because that might be the only thing to get him out of this nightmare scenario. my god, what did he ever do to deserve this kind of punishment...oh...yeah...all of the things he's done. well if he'd known the karma would be so cruel he would genuinely have reconsidered his life of crime, and he loves crime! you're ruining crime for him! stop!!

harley quinn

"you are the cutest" "no you are!" "no you are, look at those cheeks!" "no you, look at your everything!" look, she's a big fan of cutesie and a big fan of bad boys, so seeing a sweet side to oswald where he gets to be completely enamoured and in love and cringey and romantic is just deeply pleasing to her. and the two of you are so absolutely sweet together and so meant to be that she doesn't have to worry in the slightest about who she'll pick in the breakup, cos that's never going to happen obviously (or she might fight both of you)

scarecrow

"ozzie!" "i can't help it sweetheart, i just gotta touch you!" "people can see though" "let them watch" sorry, he's just deep in thought trying to remember if he ingested an immense amount of fear toxin today, because surely there's no other reason for him being subjected to this little nightmarish display of lovey dovey crap that is being inflicted up on his eyes? i mean it wouldn't be so bad if oz's wandering hands weren't so obvious, amongst other parts of his anatomy that are really hard to stare away from, get a room you two

#penguin smut #the penguin fanfic #penguin x reader #penguin x you #the penguin x you #reeves!verse #finnie writes #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #colin farrell penguin #oswald cobblepot x reader #oswald cobblepot x you

[sharlulu]

𝙍𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨

A/n: i decided to write reo's monologue after chapter 43 (when nagi leaves him). i think that he is the person who got hurt the most by nagi and i guess it's very biased, as i sympathize, relate to reo and in that moment i kinda projected my insecurities onto him. so this is like a character study?

cw: just angst, written from Reo's pov

You anger me so much. Even though, Nagi, you have done nothing wrong – absolutely nothing.

I guess it's the fact that you are so detached from this world that makes me dislike you. You exist –yes, but at the same time you don't.  You are not actually from this universe, are you? You are different, the only reason why I am able to see you is because our dimensions just happen to have the same frequency, just happen to overlap. That's why I can't reach you, right? Because you are not here. You were never here. You don't belong here. Yet why, why do I care about you? Why do I do such selfless acts for you, even though I know I won't get anything in return? Why do I want to continue worshipping you like this..?

I assumed that you were frightened, being there all alone, without anyone or anything. I wanted to help you, save you. I wanted to be your guide, your mentor. I thought that we were similar. I thought, "Only I  can understand you for I am the same."  Ah, how stupid of me. I was so blinded by my daydreams that I only now realize that you were never lonely in the first place.

How funny. How utterly hilarious it is to look at you – you shiny, brilliant treasure that wasn't and will never be mine – and understand that I need you. I depend on you. Please, I beg you, just glance at me!

"In order to learn... about this thing called frustration that I felt for the first time... I wanna play soccer with Isagi."

Your words are honest – yeah, you didn't have this habit of lying, unlike me – yet I can't hear them, I don't want to hear them. All I hear are the sounds of ringing bells, the bells of victory that are so, so far away. I hear them constantly, yet I can never touch them. And it just so happens that those bells are made of glass, so when they fall, they shatter, when they shatter, they make a terrifying sound that sends shivers through my heart. Nagi, why did you leave me?

I want to drown in the sea that is soccer, devote my entire self to this single sport, forget about everything else, make it so that only being the world's best striker matters. It's funny, it's truly funny. Yet please understand my horror when I realize that it can't even be called a sea – it's just a shallow bay, in which it's not even possible to immerse myself fully. My struggles only send ripples through the surface, never reaching far enough, never deep enough, never impactful enough to be able to shake you. That vast expanse of the sea can only be accessed by you – it's entrance was restricted from me from the very beginning. Yet I deluded myself that the same water surrounded us.

Nagi, nagi, nagi, you won't understand how fragile a dream can be; you, a genius, won't ever get my suffering. Because at that moment, the moment you decided to throw me away, my dream, as delicate as those glass bells, finally shattered beyond repair.

The shards of my "ego" fly apart until only minuscule particles are left. I want to cry, yet laugh at the same time. Why won't somebody call for help..? Right here, right now soccer is choking me with invisible hands, my blood runs cold, and I can't see- ..! that vision of me getting the world cup. For I am not the chosen one.

The shards of what once was a dream are shattered to dust under somebody's boots. And you don't even feel remorse. And I guess you aren't obliged to. Because I was never in your world to begin with, right, Nagi? You never saw me.

Once again I hear the sound of the bells. But this time they are not the blissful melody of victory, no, they are something entirely different. This time they are nearby, this time they are made out of bronze, and this time they won't shatter. And their core is in every way distinct from "dream", therefore they are named "despair". Oh, how do I get rid of them?

Nagi, you are like the sun – when marveled upon from afar, it gives people strength, power, pulls them to greater heights. However, once they get too close, they suffer from the consequences of their foolish actions.

I was like Icarus – I ignored the warnings of my logical mind, hence my wings melted, causing me to plunge down to the bottomless pit of anguish.

Nevertheless, I don't regret reaching out to you. Even though you are the one who causes me to fall into sorrow, it is also you who takes me to the top of the world.

"Later, Reo. I'll be waiting for you"

Will you..?

***

This was heavily inspired by this marvelous piece of art. Though it's written in russian, you should definitely read it if you understand the language, as it is so prettily and poetically written

#blue lock #bllk #bllk nagi #bllk reo #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #reo mikage #mikage reo

[prophecyinpink]

You know, if there was ever the tiniest part of my life that I had some kind of pride in, it was my ability to endure.

Whatever shit life threw at me I'd be able to get through it. It would suck, it would hurt, but given enough time the problem would be solved and I'd go on to endure the next truckload of garbage the universe threw at me. Because that's how I survived. Keep your head down. Take care of it yourself. Nobody will do it for you. If you can't do it now, you hold out until you can. Either that or you get used to it. At some point the pain will fade into the background and you won't even notice it's there. A never ending cycle of pain and misery.

But then something amazing happened. Love. I know it's cliché and maybe you're rolling your eyes, I know if I read this a year ago I would have, but it's true. I found love. And for the first time in over a decade I'm genuinely happy. And on some small level that scares me. Because I have no idea how to deal with this. The only survival mechanism I have is endurance. Wait it out and hope it gets better. But that doesn't work here. It is finally good and I don't wanna sit here and wait for it to get worse. I feel like I need to do something. To desperately cling on and hold onto everything I hold dear. But is that the right thing to do? We're not talking about a shiny rock here, we're talking about a person. A real flesh and blood human with thoughts and feelings and aspirations. What if the weight of me clinging onto them drags them down or prevents them from reaching their goals? To hurt the one I hold dear the most by selfishly hanging on? The thought alone hurts. Pain beyond imagination. So I retreat. Take a step back. Go back to the old ways.

Enjoy what is given to you, but don't even think about asking for anything. Because you can endure it. And using valuable resources on your foolish request when they could be used for more important matters? That's just a pipe dream. Take the back seat. Pick up the scraps. Make do with what is left.

The voice in the back of my head drones on, and I can't help but listen. Because it has worked so far. I'm still alive after all. And still, I'm happier now than I have ever been.

And now we come to the next problem. I am happy. Happier than I've ever been. And the people around me are suffering. My friends are in pain and I want to help them, but I feel powerless. Why is it that I get to be happy while the people I care for are suffering? And the voice in the back of my head pipes up again. "Who are you, to take all the happiness for yourself? Don't you know that there are people suffering?"

I want everyone to be happy. And it's not like I haven't seen the people I care about suffer before. It's not like I haven't felt powerless before when I couldn't do anything to help. Why does it feel like the happier I get, the more my loved ones suffer? Is it my fault? Am I somehow responsible for stealing their happiness? Is this just the way it is? Is it completely unrelated and I'm deluding myself in some twisted kind of martyr complex?

People tell you that you deserve happiness, but that's kinda hard to accept when the moment you become happy everyone else seems to suffer so much worse.

#mental health #personal vent #i need someone to spray me with a water bottle

[rharyx]

Now that the first season of Bleach TYBW is over, might as well type up my thoughts.

Overall, it was good. Like a solid 8/10, but I can't not get hung up on the things that keep it from being a 9/10 or a 10/10.

The first of which is the pacing.

We really blew through 62 chapters in just 13 episodes, and now we're already 1/3 of the way through the arc. Even if they slow down going forward, I honestly don't know how we're going to reach 52 episodes of this unless Kubo writes extra scenarios for, like, 10 whole episodes.

I get that they wanted to end the season on a dramatic spot, and the Zangetsu twist is the perfect place to do that, but I feel it compromised a bit in doing so.

Some stuff like the bankai thefts and character deaths just kinda came and went because they were speeding through things the way they were. The dramatic tension for a lot of moments just wasn't there because we were already on the next scene.

Not that I want the anime's pacing to be as awful as the Arrancar arc's, where they were fighting Nnoitra for what felt like 20 episodes straight, but this was leaning into Shaman King 2021 territory, which was a great example of what happens when you don't let scenes and character moments breathe. You never want your adaptation to be like Shaman King 2021.

I mean, the fight between Isshin and White was, what, four minutes long? Five?

I just hope they do slow down going forward. Let moments simmer and settle before moving into the next one.

My next small nitpick is the music.

Most of the tracks are just remixes of older songs, and while a few are cool, most of them either felt underwhelming or just weren't noticeable enough to leave an impression. Felt like elevator music part of the time.

Which sucks because Bleach is known for having banger music.

And if we're talking about moments not having the impact they should due to bad pacing, we need to address that moments can also not have the impact the should due to poor music selection as well. There were a few moments were there was a scene that was supposed to hold a lot of weight, but didn't because the music felt wrong for the scene.

Anyway, that's a minor complaint, but sound design is a real thing and shouldn't be overlooked.

And lastly, the art.

This isn't a complaint towards the anime itself, but the fans who've been saying that every episode has been "movie quality" since the start. Like, dudes...it has not. It's pretty, for sure, and has better effects and lighting than the original series, but c'mon. This is still Studio Pierrot, and there are a lot of scenes even in the first episode were characters look super off-model. And I'm not just talking about during quick between frames or when a character's far away, but even moments when a character is the main focus of the shot and the camera lingers on them.

Even the original series, especially towards the end of the Arrancar arc, where the characters tended to consistently look way closer to Kubo's style than what we were getting in parts of TYBW.

Now art =/= animation, and on the animation side of things, they were pretty fuckin good this season. There were a bunch of fantastic sequences, like the entirety of both Yhwach fights, but even then let's not delude ourselves into thinking they were giving us movie quality stuff start to finish. The Genryusai fight? Yeah, sure, THAT'S movie quality. But the stiff animations from Ebern and Quilge in episode 3? No way.

Again, this is mainly a bone I'm picking with fanboys and not the show itself, but I am hoping for future seasons to be more careful with characters staying on model. I never put that much faith in Pierrot, though, I understand they're not ufotable or Mappa lol.

So overall, I'm pleased with what we got, and I'm obviously just happy to have Bleach back in general after all these years, but I want the next batch of episodes to be even better because these are things I can't help but complain about in the back of my head while watching the episodes.

And for my last bit of complaining, let's talk about the dub.

They got a good 2/3rds of the original cast back, which is great, but man do the recast characters just not hit. Chad 3.0 is good -- I never liked Jamieson Price as Chad, and this new guy sounds closer to Marc Worden's [perfect] portrayal, so I'm good there -- but everyone else? Eh.

Shinji just doesn't sound right without Roger Craig Smith, and Ukitake not being Liam O'Brien is a crime.

I'm sure this is just because the show is non-union again, because for some reason they just don't care about Bleach, but a lot of these recasts seem to have been completely avoidable.

And outside of the recasts, we have the translators not knowing how to pronounce stuff, which annoys me personally and I know it's not surprising since they've ALWAYS mispronounced half the characters' names in the dub (Ulquiorra Cifer as "shiffer," Nnoitra Gilga as "noy-tora gill-guh," Sousuke Aizen as "sasuke," etc.). And yeah, most of the time it's just because Kubo hadn't released the proper spellings for a bunch of these characters names so they were [mostly] just going off the katakana directly, but man it hurts to hear Yhwach pronounced as "yuhabaha."

I'm already expecting half the rest of the Quincies' names to be said wrong, but I'll control my anger somehow.

Ignoring all that, it's great to hear JYB as Ichigo again, and I'm glad they picked up on the significance of Zangetsu and Yhwach sharing an actor and getting Richard Epcar back (who's absolutely killing it, btw). Whenever I hear a returning voice actor in an episode, I'm at peace and hit with nostalgia.

Anyway, done complaining.

New season good, but they need to work on the pacing, music, and art. And the dub needs to learn how to pay their actors and pronounce things better.

#bleach #bleach tybw

[filzmonster]

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle for that fandom ask meme you might have reblogged in a previous life

i think you are referring to this ask meme ?

send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with:

C!Syaoran. I watched one (1) random scene of the anime by accident on tv and I instantly fell in love with him. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

The answer to this question depends on my current mood and current recapulation of every other piece of media i recently consumed. Sakura. I’M SO SORRY. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE her in Card Captor Sakura and i LOVE her every now and then but sometimes I just realize that. She got pushed to the sidelines so much ?? And I know that that is not really her fault but like. So many times I was like ‘Damn girl out yourself out there ??’ and I immediately started to like her after Acid Tokyo when she lISTEN TO ME SCREAMING AT HER THROUGH MY LAPTOP.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Kurogane/Fai. I’m sorry okay. I loved these two dorks when I first read the manga but then I started to get involved with the fandom and it was just EVERYWHERE and I got so tired of the hype somehow ?? I am currently re-learning how to love this ship tho :)

my ultimate favorite character™:

R!Syaolan. I came for the clone and stayed for the original tBH i have a weak spot for characters with guilt issues apparently.

prettiest character:

Tomoyo-hime. Hands down. wlw solidarity. 

my most hated character:

… how clichee is it to say Feiwan Reed ? Come on he was the baddie after all ? And did a lot of Bad Stuff TM out of cruelity ? Now that I think about it, there’s also the twin’s uncle? father? king of that land who threw them into that cursed … world IDK it’s been a while okay. That character was pretty bad too. 

my OTP:

Syaoran/Sakura. I’m a basic bitch and I admit it.

my NOTP:

I … I don’t think I have one? Except for the really wild stuff like. Feiwan/Yuuko or smth I am pretty cool with everything I guess?

favorite episode:

Tokyo Revelations 2. I just. R!Syaoran getting his big entrance ?? Everything getting so much worse ?? The DRAMA of it all. It was SHOOK. 

saddest death:

C!Sakura lbr. I was bawling my eyes out after Shunraiki, I literally cried through the entire night.

favorite season:

I wanna say “Shunraiki” simply for the aesthetic? Like those two episodes were THRIVING on pastel tones and ?? everyone was kinda healing and then stuff got worse again but EVERYONE WAS KINDA HEALING OKAY. It was very emotional and while I also really love Tokyo Revelations and all it’s action and drama, Shunraiki was just kinda calmer and more focused on dealing with all the stuff that went down and I really loved that.

least favorite season:

The 2nd one, I guess. Simply b/c I was very disappointed with all the filler episodes and that it kinda just left off things in the middle of … nothing ?? v disappointing.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

eeeeehhhh. I don’t think I have one? I’m p okay with all the fandom’s faves :3

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

F A I.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

I wanna say Kurogane. But then there’s also Subaru and lbr that guy deserves better than everything he ever got in a CLAMP work

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Oh no. … Kurogane/R!Syaoran

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

Sakura/Tomoyo

#asks #song-of-amethyst #tsubasa #!!!! #my god #now i am super emotional about tsubasa ;;;; #like most of the time i am deluded enough to think that i am kinda over everything that happened in this manga #but then it just HITS ME in the middle of the day and it all comes back to me #tHANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVED RAMBLING ABOUT THIS !!!! #<3

[sevenmikento]

A/N: hello!! this request sounds super lit but i am Scared of not writing their dialogue witty enough so imma just try my best! :D i hope you have a nice day as well hehe

genres: fluff, BIG angst, sort of happy ending?, tw death, tw blood and gore; 2k words

divine omniscience [Sukuna X Reader]

“Do you guys think it’s true? What Gojou-sensei said?” Nobara asks out of the blue as she casually munches on a fry that certainly was not from her tray.

“You gotta be more specific, dude,” Yuuji replies, speaking with his mouth half-full of burger. She scrunches her nose at him as she reaches for another one of Megumi’s french fries.

“Y’know when he said all that stuff about Sukuna having only one known trusted companion or whatever. I mean, everything in the texts seems pretty vague, no?”

“Yeah, ‘companion’ is not the kind of word I’d associate with someone like him.” Megumi chips in, pushing his tray closer to the girl sitting opposite him.

“Kinda wanted to ask if they meant it sexually but I swear he’ll just start giggling and wasting our time.”

The three friends continue to chatter on about their theories and interpretations of their earlier class’s contents, all the while completely unaware of the fourth party listening in–the one who is actually most knowledgeable on the topic they’re so oddly curious about.

Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you are the one who knows the most, that is if you’re still alive. Though Sukuna doubts you died within the time he was away. You’re too smart for that.

The village chanted, faces obscured behind masks carved from wood and dyed red from the colour of the witch’s blood. Watching from within the shadows, Sukuna felt compelled to observe the ritual, having never felt such a strong surge in cursed energy in his entire existence.

He was proven to have wrongly assumed it was coming from the outraged villagers when they finally set your crucified body alight and a blanket of black cursed energy covered the area, engulfing every single one of the citizens beneath it. Bone-chilling screams and begs for mercy filled his ears, the sound muffled but satisfying to listen to nonetheless.

When the strange turn of events finally came to an end and the energy receded into your bloodied and broken body, the King of Curses himself decided that he’d finally found someone worth his time.

At the end of your torturous life as a human and the start of your existence as a newly born cursed spirit, you were honestly a little too much for Sukuna to handle. Despite having never heard of cursed energy or jujutsu sorcery, you were quick to pick up everything you needed to know and then some.

Not only were you dangerously intelligent, but you were also completely unphased by him and his raw power, no matter how much he made sure to display it–whether it be in the form of exterminating a town of people or setting a forest ablaze with just a snap of his fingers.

“Scared yet?” he would ask, a smug grin on his face. You would smile back without a hint of sarcasm or dishonesty.

“No,” you’d reply without a second thought, “because I know you will never hurt me.”

What Sukuna initially assumed was well-hidden arrogance turned out to be a mere fact you were stating. A piece of truth you’d gained due to the nature of your ever-growing curse technique. Outwardly, the King could deny it all he wanted to, he could threaten you day and night, grab your throat and tighten his grip just to prove you wrong but he would never–has never–done any harm unto you.

When he had come to accept that as the truth, he tried deluding himself into believing he kept you around merely for your wealth of knowledge and powerful supply of cursed energy. Those were, in fact, his reasons at the start of it all–they were why he even walked into the village that fateful day and used his reverse cursed technique on you.

“You can say that all you want,” you once said, reaching up to wipe the blood off his face with your sleeve while the same red substance stained your own skin, “but we both know the main reason you keep me by your side.”

He did not respond.

Instead, he scoffed and grabbed your chin with one hand before raising the other and mimicking your gesture. With an uncharacteristic tenderness, Sukuna wiped the blood off your face with his thumb as the cries of the dying soldiers around you slowly faded to nothing.

“Their name was (Y/N).” His voice echoes shortly within the confines of Yuuji’s dark bedroom.

“What?” the sorcerer blearily murmured, having been on the verge of falling asleep when the King of Curses himself decided to speak.

“My companion… though, they would have preferred the word ‘partner’... was named (Y/N).”

“Why’re you telling me this?” Yuuji groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“The inaccuracies your teachers spread to your friends are painful to listen to,” Sukuna scoffs. “Frankly, it’s insulting and disrespectful.” The cursed spirit’s choice of vocabulary throws his vessel off guard.

“... You must’ve liked them a lot, huh?” Yuuji responds, voice softer than before as he feels his initial frustration of being denied his sleep fading away. “It’s weird to imagine someone like you feeling indignant on someone else’s behalf.”

“Well,” Sukuna smirks to himself, “let’s just say they’re the only one I have any respect for in this godforsaken world.”

“He plans on betraying you,” you stated matter-of-factly, opening your eyes for the first time throughout the entire meeting.

Sukuna had called forth a few powerful cursed spirits under the pretence of forming an alliance, with his true intentions being to simply size them up and subtly intimidate them into leaving his newfound territory alone–if they valued their lives, that is. He didn’t need to tell you of his plans and he knew he didn’t have to for you to understand it completely.

The cursed spirit you’d singled out widened his eyes before his expression turned hostile. “Don’t spout bullshit! I’ve done nothing but agree with everything Sukuna-sama has said!”

Sukuna watched the events unfold silently, unable to help but feel something in his chest swell with warmth as he observed you.

“I know everything.” Your simple reply was enough to enrage the spirit who shot out of his chair and seemingly began to lunge in your direction.

“You fucking wh–!” he cried.

Where his head used to sit was a neck sliced cleanly through the middle as everyone in the room felt a gust of wind brush past their terrified faces. The only outliers were you and the perpetrator of the murder himself, both smiling as one would out on a walk on a pleasant afternoon. His skull bounces twice on the tatami flooring before it disappears alongside his body.

“That was a bit much, don’t you think, Sukuna?” The other cursed spirits practically break out in a cold sweat upon hearing you so daringly speak to the King of Curses after such a display of his power.

“That was merciful, my dear,” he responded casually, reaching out a clean hand to wipe away the droplets of blood that had reached your face. Still touching you, he turned to the others. “Does anyone else have anything to say?”

“No, they’re terrified,” you laugh when they fail to respond, all still shaking where they sat.

“Good–”

“Of me.”

He scrunches his nose and softly pushes your face away but a smile still creeps onto his face as he thinks to himself, ‘as they should be.’

Nobara and Megumi would find it hard to believe had the information not come directly from Yuuji’s mouth, as well as the additional mouth that had unceremoniously popped up on his cheek mid-conversation.

“You’re saying everything wrong!” Sukuna had exclaimed after making his appearance and refusing to leave until Yuuji had gotten all the facts right.

When he was finally satisfied, he still didn’t leave right away, sensing the two sorcerers wanted to know more. “Well?” He prompts. “Just ask your fucking questions already, we don’t have all day.”

“If you put it like that… then I’ll just ask it as it is and you’re not allowed to get all pissy, ‘kay?” Nobara responds. Megumi and Yuuji share a nervous glance.

“How’re you so sure they’re not dead?”

He wished he hadn’t left you on such a bad note; that he didn’t spit at your feet and push you away when you tried to stop him from leaving the temple in which you both sought refuge. He wished he’d at least bade you a proper farewell and that his last words to you didn’t consist of him questioning your abilities just so he could keep his ego intact.

As Sukuna laid dying, surrounded by Japan’s most powerful sorcerers, he realised, finally, that he would never see you again; or feel your hand wipe at his face after another victorious battle.

For the first time in his life, the King of Curses shed a tear.

The braver sorcerers scoffed, some even taunted him, assuming he was merely afraid of death, whereas the warier ones hesitated in approaching him to deliver the final blow, taken aback by the uncharacteristic gesture. Still, with his immense cursed energy forming a protective barrier around him as a last resort, the sorcerers hadn’t won the battle quite yet.

A few minutes later, in fact, they lost it.

Sukuna remains silent, pondering over Nobara’s question. As promised, he didn’t show his anger and hid his grief even better. Truth be told, he doesn’t know if you’re alive.

“I told you not to go,” you spoke, voice trembling as you rested his head in your lap, your hands wiping the blood off his face. “I told you you’d die, didn’t I? Why didn’t you listen? Why?”

The sound of your soft sobs mingled with the noise from outside the pitch-black barrier you’d placed around the both of you. The sorcerers who survived your ambush were chipping away at your cursed energy shield and it was only a matter of time before they would break through.

“Even after all I said to you before I left,” Sukuna murmurs, relishing in the feeling of your skin against his, “this is what you choose to scold me over?” He let out a weak chuckle.

“I know of your grief and regret, I know you’re sorry and I’ve long forgiven you.”

“Thank you, my (Y/N).” He turned his head to press his lips against your palm for the final time. “Now go. You have to escape before the damned sorcerers force their way in.”

“No.” Your defiant tone juxtaposed with your tear stricken face amused him. “I’ll be here to see you off and then I’ll kill them all.” You leaned forward to kiss his forehead. “I’ll wait for your return, my love.”

When Sukuna refused to answer Nobara’s question and promptly disappeared, the trio assumed that was the end of it all. As much as they wanted to leave the information behind them, they still find themselves talking about it as they wait in line at a new sushi place that opened near the school.

“Kinda weird he was so insistent on telling us everything, huh?” Yuuji remarks.

“I highly doubt that was close to everything, though.” Megumi scratches the back of his head. “It felt like he was withholding a lot, like when he didn’t answer Nobara’s question.”

“Yeah, that was pretty lame,” she says with a pout. “I really wanna know if they’re alive or not. I mean, their whole story was pretty interesting but imagine how scary it’ll be if (Y/N) was still alive and in Japan after all this time.”

“Table for three, please,” Yuuji says to the staff at the counter once it’s their turn. They stare at him for a brief moment before a happy yet somehow sinister smile stretches across their face. The jujutsu sorcerer feels his blood run cold as he feels Sukuna suddenly begin to vie for control over his body.

“Finally,” you whisper, body and soul flooded with sheer relief as tears run down your face. You reach your hand out to touch Yuuji’s face and though he tries his very hardest to turn away and run, he finds his body frozen in place. “I’ve been waiting for you, my love.”

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #imagines #scenarios #fluff #angst #somewhat happy ending #tw death #tw blood and gore

[shijiujun]

i feel kinda bad for shl cos all the fans of hyx and spl are blaming shl since their dramas are being delayed :(

LMAO I really don’t get that altho i can see that the timing might be a little back to back, and i’m not a SHL-only stan by any measure but:

For HYX especially,

Firstly it was already having problems since the end of last year with censorship and review. This is mostly due to the reason that 2ha is a pretty big fandom and is the cult fave in the danmei industry - what this means is that there are three types of fans basically right, (1) Normal fans who love the novel + show (2) Those who fanatically love the novel in some extreme ways haha (3) Those who hate it and/or are HYX-onlys - so you get it all in a bag. 

The first type of fans is definitely the easier ones to deal with, but unfortunately in big fandoms you get a lot of (2) and (3). It’s not something that’s exclusive only to 2ha/HYX but because it’s a cult fave, and a controversial one at that, problems definitely arise.

(2) are the ones who head down to the filming scenes, take photos and footage despite crew telling ppl not to do it, not to sneak around filming sites and definitely not to leak photos or footage. They do it anyway. Yeah sure of course it’s a couple of photos every few weeks or a tiny video every few weeks but word gets out. They’re inevitably hurting the show and the fandom with their actions, because shit trends on Weibo really fast, and the censorship committee (not just for the film industry or shows) is always lurking on the site to catch any sign of you know, hate speech for the country etc. and more. Not related, but the point is that social media is watched very closely. It’s not a myth or an exaggeration, you really just got to be careful, and HYX is a show that, despite not having been broadcasted, has consistently trended on Weibo over the last few months. Not always because of leaks, but yeah, HYX is in everyone’s faces. Fans themselves put a fucking huge spotlight on the show BEFORE we even have any content at all, and of course this isn’t enough to like create huge trouble for the show but then we have-

(3), which I believe creates the most trouble - the thing is 2ha and meatbun who wrote the book, has a long line of haters and antis, way before HYX came into the picture. I shall not go into details of how I’ve seen some big accounts on Tumblr here spit vitriol at the book without even reading it just based on the content/trigger warnings and playing the morality card (and I think most ppl who’ve followed me for a while know just what I think about that). Like this was way before any footage or leaks or even HYX being a thing came about - as a cult fave it has its share of haters, and this share is a huge. There are those who get off on their moral high grounds XD and I think especially these ones are the most troublesome, all they have to do is report that HYX is immoral, bad for culture etc. etc. hahaha and yeah the censorship team is always ready to step in on reports, especially on BL stuff.

And of course the larger part is the change in censorship processes - honestly even way before SHL came out in end Feb, HYX was no closer to getting passed by the review committee than it is now. Maybe yes, SHL scenes may be now used as reference for comparison but seriously? People are deluding themselves if they thought pre-SHL HYX was going through the review process smoothly and only hit roadblocks after. I mean, we’ve all seen the leaks, some of them are truly like god-tier scenes that may be hard to explain away. It’s not like they can repackage the script especially because they have to submit everything to the review committee.

I mentioned this in a post yesterday but how SHL passed reviews is due to the fact that they didn’t have to submit a full script. They only had to submit a partial script, and that makes a world of difference. Basically a team, under these requirements, can repackage the script to include the more het looking parts even I feel, and of course some heavy misdirection by the team, it could work. Now that you have to put an entire script up for scrutiny.. I mean, it’s hard. This is just a game of probability.

And the last reason I think is still Tencent. Honestly, I’ve never seen a huge ass MNC like this handle a show this terribly.

1. No control over leaks - This is honestly the dumbest shit to do

2. Terrible crisis management response time - When fans leak footage, it’s standard and practical business sense to control it IMMEDIATELY. They shouldn’t just leave it up to the crew to put up notices and as the company that owns the rights to the show, it’s up to them to possibly threaten legal action as well. Basically a sterner stance would have helped a lot, but Tencent is a motherfucker of a company who only cares about free marketing and publicity without any considerations over impact to the show itself 

3. Terrible at communicating with fans - Seriously, I’ve never seen a company or team that’s been this bad at confirming delays etc. and providing updates about a show. I understand that it’s mostly due to them not wanting to affect the review process or create more chaos within the fandom but lmao Tencent allowed the hype to build so much and then goes absolutely silent at crazy rumours. I mean we had to find out about a delay from Cai Bao, their cat mascot, like??? In a really veiled and poetic message that didn’t outright say the word ‘delay’ like damn these ppl have a lot of time

As for SPL,

Lol we don’t know anything about this show. We don’t know if they took out or left in the Yifu part that would supposedly make it less gay or whatever, we don’t know anything about how gay it should have been or could have, so this one might be a tad more ridiculous. I mean none of us have seen any good leaks, and we haven’t seen any of the script, we got ZERO idea about this. Maybe they really went hard on the bromance, how would any of us know hahaha so all the more it’s like people have zero basis to go on, to say that it’s because of SHL. Seriously, everyone’s shooting in the dark.

Technically if laws didn’t change last Feb, I think SPL/WIK should have been passed in the same way as SHL did, but it’s just inopportune time for them.

===

- So tl:dr HYX already had tons of problems, that I doubt were going to go away just because SHL didn’t air, honestly. For SPL, it’s really hard to tell what failed the review, because none of us know what’s going on in the script.

No one cared about SHL, even I only realized the show was airing on the day itself and then made a rec post after I watched the first 4 eps. And if it truly was anything to do with SHL, I’m telling you that the first thing the censorship committee will do is basically shut SHL down, get Youku to take it off sites etc. until it’s reviewed again etc. etc. That hasn’t happened yet, at least not before HYX and SPL were stalled.

===

ALSO!! Don’t have to feel sorry for SHl fans hahaha I’m telling ya a lot of us definitely weren’t OG SHL or TYK fans, seriously! All the bigger accounts I see on Twitter are a combination of CQL/SHL or MXTX/SHL, SPL/SHL and I am personally 2HA/HYX/SHL. The fight is all out on Twitter HAHAHAHA but it’s not that bad, we’ve all got practice. Seriously WHO ACTUALLY is an SHL only stan I’ve honestly not seen much?! HAHAHA the point is we’re all yelling on behalf of SHL as a cross fandom fan, easier for us to do so as well. We’re talking about 2ha/HYX/SPL/Priest dedicated accounts that delved deep into SHL championing for no-nonsense in the space hahaha

#asks #shl #hyx #spl #and while i've never worked for the chinese film industry #i was in film and production #so i half know what i'm talking about #and i did ask a friend who works in a chinese film company #and yep ;/ #if you need to know how disastrous big companies are #tencent is a prime example

[nymphsdomain]

i am so so sorry i just deleted ur beautiful ask by mistake, i’m the fuck boy 1A girly. but no i totally agree.with everything u said, spot awn. the std thing made me cackle LMAO

but i offer you this, what if you fucked them anyway? what would happen then?

It would most likely be at one of their stupidly over the top parties, and you’re tipsy enough to think... man would it be so bad to let him hit? who’s he gonna brag to? the group chat youre in? either way he can’t delude himself into thinking it’s cuz ur in love with him or something, if anything you would be using him. it doesn’t hurt that he’s fine as fuck.

so you pull him aside, tell him what he wants to hear, and before you know it you’ve pulled him out of the room and into his bedroom, music still thumping down the hall.

he was surprised when you offered it, but wasn’t gonna turn you down. it’s the whole reason he approached you in the first place, and he couldn’t lie and say he hadn’t thought about it, and when he finally... takes the plunge let’s say, he is taken aback. oh, you’re good. it’s not anything you do, it’s just kinda.... the way you move, everything you do spurs him on, he gets lost in the feeling, making embarrassingly loud noises. he moans like a bitch, he’s louder than you. he’s so lost in the feeling that he forgets to hold back, to elongate the experience, and homeboy cums very prematurely.

It’s dead silence for a time, until you break it.

“... you didn’t just?”

he wants to die, he has never been more humiliated.

“That doesn’t normally happen” he said, spoken in a voice barely over a whisper. he’s still on top of you, still inside you as he slowly goes limp, frozen in utter embarrassment.

you sigh.

“well that was disappointing. you can get off now”

he has never moved faster, yoinking himself of you and using a t-shirt on the floor to wipe himself off. he sniffs as you sit up, gathering your clothes. you are trying your hardest to hold back your laughter. once you’re both fully dressed, he goes to leave, but your voice behind him stops him.

“the next time i see a girl crying over you, she’s going to hear about a very interesting story.”

a rock drops in his stomach

“I told you y/n! that doesn’t happen! ever! that was a first!”

“she doesn’t need to know that.”

“y/n!! you think i could get so many girls if i sucked thag badly?”

“absolutely i do”

“y/n! please don’t!”

it goes on like this for a while until you’re crying form laughter and he’s actually on the brink of tears.

you never let him live that down.

omg and a few weeks later when you can barely walk and your neck is covered in hickeys they feel even more humiliated because, he should’ve been the one to leave you like that. not that he would ever leave you- the slow realization that he’s actually fallen in love with you punches him in the gut and damn kills him.

he’s fallen for the unattainable, i mean the guy who left you like that was a total loser. tamaki amajiki, you let him hit two months into know him. you didn’t let them hit until over a year, and now you’re going on dates with him????

he’d probably try and pick a fight with him for some stupid reason just to get his ass kicked, tamaki isn’t weak he just as extreme anxiety. the fight stays between the two of them, tamaki not wanting the attention that comes with winning a fight especially with one of them, and their ego and pride wouldn’t be able to take it.

yeah he’s still fucking girls on the regular and talking shit in the gc, but he’s been different lately especially after you told him you were going steady with tamaki. he tried to convince himself the pain in his chest was from anything but the fact that you’ve found someone better. that you might leave him, he’s resigned himself to just being fine with being your closest friend. but now he’s afraid that you’ll completely drop him. (you would never, but you’re also unaware of the way he feels)

i have more to add but vv sleepy and had to respond before i forgot also if amajiki isn’t your style you can picture someone else

[balillee]

can I hear more about your c!niki silver spoon thingy? ummm I kinda wanna hear more about like your thought process behind it? I like the take I just wanna hear you talk more about it! its fine if you dont tho!

hell yeah >:)

a lot of this is from memory, so lmk if i miss out any crucial details. this is also gonna sound critical of her character, because, well, i am.

so niki came onto the server after the revolutionary war - not during it. i know a lot of people thought she and jack fought in it, but they didn't. niki was the last of the original l'manbergians, and she, upon joining the server, was immediately brought in. she was given shelter, a home, food, practically everything she wanted. she was loved almost unanimously by the whole server - heck, tommy was intimidated by her and still is, and tommy was often intimidated into helping her. a key example of this is the pet wars - tommy and niki had both been wronged by sapnap and seeked retribution for it - tommy wanted an eye for an eye and niki wanted an apology. tommy worked hard to get niki that damn apology while i don't really remember niki doing much in terms of furthering that effort.

all of a sudden, people are no longer happy with how wilbur's running things, and, come the elections, fundy and niki decide that they should run for presidency under COCONUT2020, despite not having the visibility, the competence to run the country or the plans. they were such an awful option for l'manberg that the only way they could have won is if the rigged voting went undetected. so, schlatt/swag2020 wins, and wilbur and tommy have their citizenships revoked, and thus is manberg born.

tubbo and fundy were inducted into the cabinet in manberg whereas niki was unfairly targeted by the administration. obviously there is sympathy here, but there's a clear motive as to why niki specifically was targeted - schlatt was under the assumption that tubbo and fundy were on his side, whereas niki vocally was not. and, as per schlatt's character description given by cc!wilbur, schlatt wants to punish those who are against him. he did it with tubbo at the festival, and he repeatedly insulted quackity and fundy. it would be out of character for him not to swat the fly buzzing in his ear all the time.

niki was an activist, which is fine, but there really was little effort on her part other than verbal protest. it took a while for niki to finally leave manberg of her own accord when she went to live in tommy's holiday home and take care of henry, and she was finally rescued from manberg alongside tubbo following the festival. now, she has the opportunity to gain some of her autonomy and reclaim power for herself from schlatt in reclaiming and reinstating l'manberg. following the pit fight, her, tommy and tubbo make it their mission to reclaim l'manberg.

except, she just kind of faded away. there was setup, there was a good buildup, but she just kind of faded into obscurity for a short while, and then kind of made a major reappearance when november 16th rolled around. and then she kind of went away again.

she knew that tubbo's goal was to rebuild l'manberg and try to make it the best version that it can be. he even included her in his cabinet as treasury of state, and her bakery was completely intact. she had the full freedom to help rebuild the country that she'd spent like a month and a half fighting for, and she had the time and the freedom to finally start fresh after schlatt's oppression.

instead, she runs away to drywaters with fundy because she feels 'excluded'.

the above statement is complete bullshit, imo. she wasn't 'excluded', she wasn't there. to be included you actively have to seek out inclusion. from niki's perspective she was treated like a bystander, but from the cabinet's perspective she was MIA, maybe except for fundy's.

so when doomsday rolls around, she's up and decided that, after two months of having the freedom and the autonomy to reclaim her power and help herself, because, y'know, everyone else had spent those two months trying to help themselves, she's had enough. she's annoyed that people aren't giving her the immediate protection and love that the original l'manberg gave her when she first came to the server. i don't think she expected that, after wilbur's death, she was to put the effort in and help remake it. c!niki is lazy.

niki thought l'manberg meant that she would be taken in and given everything she needed again, but she was wrong in that assumption. i think she misunderstood what l'manberg was, especially having not been a part of the revolution. her viewpoint of l'manberg was skewed from the start and when she didn't receive immediate reparations (from people that didn't oppress her, mind you), she got irritated.

she should blame wilbur, and she should blame techno, and she should blame phil, and she should blame dream. but those four individuals are out of her reach - instead, she'll pin it all on tommy, someone who's been away for most of what's happened not by his own choice, just because she's projecting everything she hates about those four individuals onto him. niki has now even spoken to techno so that he could help her because she still hasn't learnt that nobody's around to provide for her like they did back when she first joined - neither does anyone have the obligation to do this, either. niki, in her own delusions, has convinced herself that someone who has provided for her, and has fought for her is the object of her hatred and is everything that's wrong with the dream smp and has deluded herself into thinking that the death of tommy will bring her peace. it will not, and to be honest, neither will the deaths of the people she should actively hate.

tldr; niki joined the server and was immediately provided for and began to associate l'manberg with being provided for, but when pogtopia reclaimed l'manberg she refused to acknowledge that she would have to begin to provide for herself, and that l'manberg wasn't about providing for her, especially considering they were just a crater and that they were in the process of rebuilding everything for themselves anyway - niki actually probably was one of the least affected by november 16th considering her home was still intact. unable to reach for the real oppressors in her life, she instead punches down at someone she projects her hatred onto - the caricature of someone she was told was a hero, and when he didn't live up to that standard perfectly and valiantly, she got irritated.

and yes, wilbur's death affected her, i'm not going to neglect that information. wilbur was her close friend, and his death would have left her grieving, but that's no excuse considering everyone else was able to start anew in the tubbo administration. had she joined in with rebuilding, i'm 100% positive that they would have been courteous to her and included her from the start. but when you remove yourself from a situation, don't expect to be included. niki is partly at fault here. she knew wilbur wasn't a fit president anyway back in the elections, so she should have worked with her friends to make l'manberg the best version of itself alongside the rest of the cabinet - but she didn't.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!niki critical #dsmp critical #dream smp critical

[maxemilianverstappen]

Why did I see someone say something along the lines "Seb's probably thinking what's the point racing if Lewis isn't there"?

I hate how much s/ewis shippers reduce to Seb to how he relates to Lewis & to just being "grid dad". Yes, Seb has taken some of the younger drivers under his wing but that's not all he is. He is an incredibly talented driver and I swear to God of AM don't give him a decent car to show I'm going to lose it. His story in F1 doesn't begin or end with Lewis. It didn't start when he moved to Ferrari either, but they don't like to acknowledge his incredible time & achievements at Redbull prior to that because well he had the car and the team to challenge lewis - and won.

Bottom line is Seb is not only his own person but he's also a real living breathing human, not just one half a "ship".

"Seb's probably thinking what's the point of racing if Lewis isn't there"?

Please tell me which idiot said this so that I can block them and everyone who liked/reblogged this piece of horse shit 🤢🤢

I... I really can't imagine what kind of delusion is needed to think like this. The way some of these people's minds work is absolutely a case of slow brain rot.

Sebastian is not the kind of man who measures his own self worth with the accomplishments of his rivals. That's someone else, but I won't name him. Have you ever seen the guy EVER talk about how XYZ season could have been his win/how he could have been X times WDC if he was driving YZ car or for LM team? Has he ever compared himself to LH? Has he ever said anything that can be interpreted as he is needing to win against ONE specific person to feel himself accomplished/successful? Man, the guy just wants to f/ucking win one more time as he so deserves. It doesn't matter against whom, he is not someone who will find any form of MORE satisfaction in winning against one specific person. His rival can be LH, can be Chal, can be Max, can be Dan, who cares? I am positive he doesn't give a single f/uck either as long as it gives him the adrenaline and that surge of passion that comes with racing and winning.

And also, how can ppl discredit all the fantastic talent on the grid as if only LH is there as a talent? Look, I personally believe that if F1 was a single/same spec series, all the guys i listed above and some more would have been on quite the similar level. To claim that Seb wouldn't be happy to race and win against anyone else but LH is a gross discredit to them all. But I know why they delude themselves so.

They want sth like in the movies. They want them to be obsessed with each other to the point that winning against anyone else wouldn't suffice or feel worthy enough (look at the level of god complex they try to slap on these dudes 😂) They want them to be each other's single most important focus that after one leaves racing, the other one, no matter what kind of talent is on the grid to race against, would lose his interest and leave, too, forlorn and hurt and dissatisfied, alas... 😂😂

I am pretty sure LH was secretly happy to see Seb is no longer in a position of challange and thus modified his stance accordingly, suddenly friendlier and kinder and more compassionate. And I am pretty sure, Seb doesn't care about the presence or absence of a guy on the grid while deciding on his future plans. Why should he give a f/uck actually other than the generic "oh, we are saying goodbye to a huge star" kinda stuff? In what way the s/ewis idiots think Seb's life will be negatively impacted upon LH's leave? How absurd and laughable is reducing Seb's career to those 2017-18 years and his inability to win the WDC not just due to his own shortcomings? We all know if Ferrari didn't have an internal politics war and make all the wrong decisions in car upgrades in the second half of the season, Seb might very well win in 2018 with some luck. But that's another story.

2010/2013 was something else and these so called Seb fans should really watch those races and interviews to see how great he was and not even F1 can diminish his success nor these so called s/ewis/LH fans can by reducing him into an arm accessory to their GOD.

As Max said, “You need a bit of luck to fight for the seventh or eight. You need a very dominant team as well to do that, so you don’t always have that luck or you are not in that era. Sometimes it doesn’t happen.”

Choices were made, things were desired and sought after in different places; so, it made one guy a 7 time winner while the other guy who is absolutely not below him talent wise even an inch, had to stay at 4. I'm pretty sure if Seb had chosen Merc in 2017, he would have been an 8 times WDC already. But as another Anon said (perhaps you are the same one?) Seb wanted it in Ferrari and it didn't happen.

I am pretty sure he wouldn't give a fuck about who he would have won those titles against and wouldn't care whether they'd leave or not and continue to race just as LH doesn't care even a bit and that's okay too.

#ughhh it is only the morning and im brewing tea as usual #eri.exe #this got long so it is under the cut

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

#in which hannah says hegemonic perceptions of the working class and i pretend its foreshadowing vampire au #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #LONG one its like #2500 words which is #yknow! some pages #idk what counts as long all writing is witchcraft to meajhfjbnk #ik i should be pacing these a lil better but #i just wanna get up to vibeccas wedding im IMPATIENT

[sparring-hyena]

date me.

i am once again a teensy bit drunk and figured i’d write something for you wonderful folks.

-

they have rules. a few of them, actually. if AJ really wanted to, she could probably sit down and write each one out. she’s not going to. but still. she could.

they’re all pretty standard rules, AJ thinks. most of them seem pretty fair considering their relationship. but there’s one rule that’s kinda sorta starting to bug her.

no sitting or standing together in public unless absolutely necessary. that’s the rule. that’s exactly what Poppy had said all those months ago. and at the time AJ hadn’t really thought too much about it. she was just glad that she’d be getting to spend more time with Poppy. so she agreed to the friends with benefits. could you even call them friends? they don’t do stuff that normal friends do.

maybe they aren’t friends then. they certainly aren’t dating. and that’s the part that’s kinda sorta starting to bug AJ. and maybe that’s part of the reason she gains the confidence to walk right up to Poppy in some quiet part of campus and sit down across from her.

“what do you think you’re doing?” Poppy says without missing a beat.

“lunch,” is all AJ says, pulling a sandwich and water bottle from her bag. “what are you doing?”

Poppy’s eyes narrow, but AJ’s spent enough time with her over the last few months to know that it’s not annoyance or frustration bubbling behind those beautiful eyes. it’s something else, and she’s still trying to figure out what, exactly, that something else is.

“want some?” AJ says, offering half of her sandwich to Poppy.

“no.”

AJ shrugs and takes a bit of her salami sandwich.

“what are you doing?” Poppy says again.

“i told you. lunch. i skipped breakfast, so i’m starving.”

“no. what are you doing sitting here?”

“oh.” AJ nods, swallows the food in her mouth before saying, “well, i thought it was about time you and i had a date.”

Poppy’s eyes go wide. “what?”

“i thought we should go on a date,” AJ says again, and even shrugs like what she’s just said is normal.

“no.”

“no?”

“this isn’t a date.”

“i never said it was. it just said we should go on a date.”

Poppy studies AJ for a moment. considers her answer and watches the way that she continues to eat her goddamn salmi sandwich so calm and casually. “and what makes you think i’d want go on a date with you?”

“because,” AJ shrugs, “you like me.”

Poppy scoffs. “no i don’t.”

“okay,” AJ says, not at all believing her. “if that’s true then, end it.”

“end what.”

“the sex. tell me you want to stop.”

Poppy goes to answer, but nothing comes out of her mouth.

“well?” AJ says, one of those crooked smirks on her face.

“i hate you.”

“no you don’t.” AJ places her sandwich down and smirks. rests her elbows on the picnic table and leans in just a little bit. “i think you like me.”

“you wish.”

AJ doesn’t answer right away. just watches Poppy with that knowing smile, and then, finally, she says, “i know.”

Poppy folds her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes. “i’m not going on a date with you.”

“why?”

“what do you mean ‘why?’ i don’t need a reason.”

“you’re right; you don’t need a reason, and if you want me to leave, say it.” AJ quirks her head to the side and waits a moment. “i think you like me,” she says, “and i think that scares you. and i know you’ll say i’m wrong or deluded or just reading too much into the situation or something. and that’s fine. but i know—and you know—that that’s not true. this” —AJ gestures between herself and Poppy— “stopped being ‘just sex’ months ago.”

“i...” Poppy trails off. unsure of what to say next. and for the first time in... well, forever, AJ thinks Poppy actually looks shocked.

AJ reaches across the table and places her hand on Poppy’s, squeezing gently. “ i get that this is new and strange for you,” she says, softer this time. “but i need you to know that i like you. a lot. you’re allowed to want things, and you’re worth so much more than what you can do for people. so, date me.”

slowly, like she’s afraid AJ may pull way, Poppy turns her hand over in AJ’s and squeezes back.

“you don’t have to answer right away,” AJ says. “you don’t have to answer at all if you really don’t want to. i guess” —AJ shrugs— “i dunno. i guess, i just want you to know that.”

AJ goes to pull her hand away but Poppy stops her. “did you mean it?” she asks, voice soft.

“mean what?”

“when you said you liked me. did you mean it.”

“yes.”

another moment of silence passes. this one a little tense. AJ bounces her leg beneath the table, eyes flickering around their surroundings.

“okay,” Poppy says.

“okay?”

“you said we should go on a date. let’s do it.”

“really?”

Poppy nods, smiling that smile AJ swore was only for puppies. “really.”

“okay.” AJ beams. “are you free Friday?”

“yes.”

“awesome. i’ll take you out for dinner on Friday.”

“i’d like that,” Poppy says, squeezing AJ’s hand and stroking her thumb over the top of AJ’s palm.

#poppy x mc #poppy min sinclair #queen b #playchoices #my writing

[kendrixtermina]

I am convinced that a huge percentages of all those articles where ostensibly cishet female USA columnists go on about how they get next to nothing nothing out of vaginal penetration & regularly endure discomfort & pain  are in part caused by the prevalence of male cicumcision in the United States. 

Like I used to be confused by it to the point of wondering if I was deluding myself or something. Sure, it’s not the be all, end all, but generally i experienced intercourse as ...pleasant ? & only rarely encountered a dissapointing experiece.   And I read lots of naughty ffs by female authors where you get the distinct impression they like it too. 

I didn’t put two and two together until that one encounter where everything else was perfect in terms foreplay, conversation, makeout, chemistry, the guy’s appearance etc. but then the actual boinking did next to nothing & I had to stop it due to soreness before the guy came. It was like no sex at all exept now you’re sore & frustrated. 

That is just how it was though I feel kinda bad saying it this like in this crappy society that attaches self-worth for dudes to sexual experience, that sounds like I’m just insulting him or calling him a loser or something which is really NOT my intention. It’s not his fault, his parents decided it, and I certainly wouldnt want to come off like im insulting ppl’s religion or culture.  I really liked him but I never called him back because of how super duper awkward and depressing the whole fiasco was.

  Then I realized the the common denominator in a lot of inexplicable meh encounters was circumcision. 

But when I googled it there was statistics to back it up. Apparently the typical gap in t he receiving partner’s experience is like going from 8/10 on average to 1.5. A lot of the reported experiences where the same as mine:  there’s a conspicuous absense of most pleasure unless you hit certain specific  spots & discomfort & soreness can start within a few minutes. 

In fact the only time I had actually good P-in-V sex with a circumcised dude involved copious amounts of lube (we were using it because it was one of the first times I did it at all, to prevent pain/bleeding etc). 

So maybe in the future I’ll just have to do that & use lube every time. Why did no one tell me that? Worse, why did no one tell this to the dudes who will need this knowledge every time they have sex...

The basic gists of those articles like  “if doesn’t get you off for whatever reasons he should do extra stuff to make sure you’re happy too” and “You should never endure discomfort or pain out of politeness” are certainly still true & sexism & co certainly don’t help with it, but I feel like this is a factor that ppl should bear in mind that gets lost when ppl just chalk it up to to poor technique or uncaringness on the dude’s part.

Obviously those are sometimes the reason if even in countries where that isn’t common not everyone has perfect sex, but it might not be his fault. 

Maybe it should just become common knowledge/ettiquette that you should use lube in that case just like you do for butt stuff. 

It’s probably also a factor in condom use compliance & why dudes say they “feel nothing” since the procedure already reduces their sensitivity pre-condom (Safety & responsibility should obviously still go first )

Often when you say you don’t think it should be done on babies ppl think you’re against their religion but I’ve got nothing against you doing it for your religion when you’re old enough to understand both sex & religion. 

You should probably still use lube/ toys/oral, & be mindful not to go too hard on ppl’s orifices etc... But still. 

Lots of voluntary body modifications require some after care like making sure piercings don’t get infected or that tatooed skin is sensitive to sunburs etc. these days there is special tatoo sunscreen, and we’d all agree that if you tatoo or pierce someone without properly telling them the risks, or don’t educate them about such precautions you’re doing them a disservice...

#sexuality #male circumcision