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petrichor-idyllic · 1 year

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Hello! I am obsessed w ur Maze runner fics omgggg. could I request a Gally x female reader where shes autistic and the gladers think shes just a little strange but he thinks her quirkiness is cute!! love you 😇

FINALLY I get to write for my boy Gally.

I'd like to preface this by saying I am probably neurodivergent myself, but I am not diagnosed or an expert and I have researched into autistic traits in girls for this piece. I am sorry for any inaccuracies.

A BIT DIFFERENT PT. 1

MASTERLIST | GALLY MASTERLIST

PART 1 | PART 2

SUMMARY: See above. Track-hoe! Fem! Autistic! Reader x Gally. Takes place before the arrival of Thomas.

WARNINGS: Inappropriate language, some of the Gladers acting like dicks, my potentially slightly inaccurate depiction of autism. That's it.

You aren't quite like the other Gladers.

Well, the obvious is that you're a girl- a very rare occurrence in the Glade since you're the only one.

Though, you're not the kind of girl the Gladers expected (*cough* wanted *cough*). Based off of their very limited and slightly stereotypical knowledge of women.

Obviously.

When you came up in the Box, you panicked more than most. Which can easily be because you were a girl surrounded by a dozen boys. Which is terrifying.

But then you didn't speak.

The emotions and stress of it all led to you becoming completely non-verbal. It wasn't that you didn't want to speak, but it was like every time you tried, no words came out.

Most of the boys tried talking to you at least once, but they have no understanding of personal space and you hated how loud they spoke all the time.

A lot of them gave up after a while.

They thought you were weird. You avoided eye contact, weren't really sure how to read their emotions and hated the boisterous nature of the majority of the population.

Even when you did regain your voice, you took little interest in their conversations and they took your blank state as being rude. But you weren't being rude; you would listen and nod but you didn't take interest in them, so you didn't act like you did.

Things got better when you got a job as a Track-hoe. You found an affinity for plants and very quickly gave Zart a run for his money in the Gardens. Through experience and writing down all your findings in a small notebook Minho gave you during your first week or so when you wouldn't speak- you now know everything about the Gardens.

All of the plants name, their ideal growing conditions, all the uses they possess and even how to cook them properly. Frypan's veg stew has greatly improved since your arrival.

You could spend hours talking about the Gardens, though most of the boys don't really care about that.

A lot of the boys find you strange, like I previously said. There are a few that keep an eye on you and extend their kindness. Newt and Frypan amongst that crowd with Minho turning a blind eye to the robbery of his Map supplies so you can use them for your notes. It keeps your interactions brief and it means he doesn't have to endorce your plant rambles. The man is far too busy.

Though, not all the Gladers are simply being polite.

The first time you met Gally was when one of the boys stole your book and was teasing you about it. He punched him squared in the jaw, scaring the shit out of you and landing Gally a twenty-four hour hold in the Slammer.

You decided to approach him at his work after that, thanking him for looking out for you.

And you actually kind of became friends after that.

You held back at first, but when Gally started asking you about your job, you started telling him everything.

He actually genuinely enjoys hearing what you have to say. And he finds your blunt and occasionally out of pocket comments amusing.

He thinks it's cute. He doesn't really know when he started crushing on you. But your quirks and mannerisms always bring a smile to his face.

He also becomes your guard dog. Absolutely no one is going to mess with you, especially when the machine that is Gally is glaring at them from a few feet away.

You don't like Bonfire nights. Sure, it's great that you have another boy to add to the population, but you don't enjoy the celebrations. They're loud and the fires burn bright and everyone is touching or fighting. It makes your chest feel tight and you can hear the blood pumping around your skull. You hate it.

So, you sit away from the commotion, your legs crossed as you doodle another sketch of a plant, labelling the different parts.

"Yo, Green-thumb," you look up to find Gally approaching, two glasses of his suspicious liquid in hand. "Fancy a drink?"

Green-thumb is something he called you jokingly once, and now it's kind of stuck.

"Sure," you smile at him as he sits down next to you, passing you a drink. "Wouldn't you rather be enjoying the Bonfire?"

"Nah, I've kicked enough Greenie butt for one day." You scoff, putting your book down for a second to take a sip.

You visibly cringe at the harsh taste. You don't like the drink, but Gally's made it, so some small part of you is determined to drink it.

"Whatcha writing about today?" He picks up your book, admiring your handwork. "Yarrow, eh?"

"Mhm," you nod, fiddling with your pencil. "It's good for headaches and sickness. It's a wildflower I found in the Deadheads and moved some here so the Medjacks have easy access to it. It'll probably be useful in the morning if everything keeps drinking this klunk." You swill the drink around the jar and Gally chuckles.

"You don't have to drink it."

"I know," you unintentionally snap, "I want to. You made it."

Gally's heart flutters at this comment, even if it is just plain honesty to you. He looks away, blinking as he looks at your perfectly organised Gardens.

"What?" You ask.

"What what?"

"You look flustered."

"I'm not."

"Okay."

He hesitates, deciding to finally ask a question he's been meaning to ask. He clears his throat. "Would you, uh, would you ever consider dating someone?"

You tilt you head, looking at him whilst he avoids eye contact. "In the Glade?"

"Uh, yeah, if someone's caught your eye?"

You shrug. "Maybe. But you're the only person here I like."

There's a pause as Gally processes that. He knows you well enough by now that you don't mean it that way; you're just blunt.

"Yeah, but you like me as a friend, right?"

Now, you pause. Honestly, you're not really sure. You think Gally is attractive, but it's not like you're friends with many people to compare how you feel about Gally to how you feel about other friends.

So, you shrug.

The line of questioning is starting to make you panic, though.

Gally raises his eyebrow. "You... don't know?"

"Yeah, I don't know." He doesn't know what to say to this. "But it doesn't really matter, right?"

Friendships and relationships aren't that different. It's just a close friendship with some physical attributes.

That's it, really.

Gally knows you. But he's still learning to see things how you see them.

"Yeah, I guess."

This is the conversation that plagued Gally's mind for a long time.

He didn't mean to start acting like a dick. But Gally is Gally, and he isn't the best at expressing his emotions in a healthy way.

So, he unintentionally starts avoiding you.

Somehow, saying you don't know if you like him is worse than flat out rejecting him. And he'd rather go without.

You, however, are taking this horrendously.

It's been days now and safe far you've thrown a trowel at someone and ripped some fiddly vines off of one of the support growers.

The Glade is starting to notice your rise in temper, which ends up resulting in a confrontation.

You don't like confrontation, but it's been a week and you don't know what you've done wrong.

"Did I do something?" You ask Gally.

He's in the middle of his work, fixing one off the old shacks with a couple of other boys.

They all freeze.

It's rare for you to be away from the Gardens in the middle of the day, and they don't want to see why.

"Uh, give us a moment," Gally instructs his colleagues and they don't hesitate to listen. "Look, (Y/N)-"

"What did I do? Are you mad at me?"

"Wha- no." He sighs. "I'm not mad at you."

"Then what's wrong? Why are you avoiding me?" He goes silent for a moment. "Gally, what did I do? Do you not like me, anymore? Did I-"

"I like you."

You're perplexed. "I like you, too? So, why are you being a dick?"

"No," he scoffs, throwing his head back. "I like like you. Like, I wanna go on dates and klunk. A-and you said you didn't know how you felt about me and it was like you didn't even care."

You stand there, blinking at him.

In his absence, you realised that you do like Gally. You didn't think you'd miss talking to someone, you definitely don't care when don't hear from Newt or Frypan for weeks.

But you missed Gally.

He opens his mouth again to speak, but he doesn't get the chance when you rush towards him. Throwing your arms around him, you hug him, which completely startles him and knocks him backwards.

You've never hugged him before.

"I think I like you, too," you mumble as his arms come to loosely hang around your waist. You pull back slightly, looking at him.

He grins. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you nod.

His eyes flicker to your lips and you do the same before meeting his gaze again. "Can I kiss you?" You ask, forward as always.

He chuckles. "Please."

You lean forward, not quite sure what you're doing but it's a peck that sparks a fire inside you.

You pull away, resting your foreheads against each other, enjoying the peaceful moment.

"Oi," Alby makes you both jump from a few feet away, "get back to work, shanks. The shuck are you doing?"

You awkwardly step back, feeling heat rush to your face as you sheepishly look at the floor.

Gally, however, is grinning from ear to ear.

You like him.

And that's more than enough for him.

First Gally fic done. A bit shorter than some others but I wasn't quite sure what else to do with this.

I hope you enjoyed anyway :))

#🍃 petri tmr #🌿 petri tmr gally #🌿 petri writes #🌿 petri writes tmr #tmr fanfiction #tmr imagines #the maze runner #gally tmr #gally imagine #tmr gally

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navnae · 1 year

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Me, Myself and You

Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: narcissism, new k!nk, nsfw smut, very explicit

Summary: “What I’m trying to get at is that the next time we have sex i don’t want you to be yourself,” Steve said quietly. Eddie tilts his head smiling thinking that wasn’t such a bad request. They’ve role played several times and all those times were amazing. Eddie loved getting into character no matter the circumstance especially if that’s what Steve wanted from him, he still couldn’t put a finger on why Steve was still fidgeting as if that was something to be ashamed of. Eddie had a list of characters in his mind that Steve could be thinking of that would make him this nervous to not even want to look at Eddie. His thoughts were all over the place and he kind of zoned out until Steve napped him back into reality when he elaborated on what he meant. Nothing could prepare Eddie for what he was about to hear.

Steve has this kink and he’s way too embarrassed to tell Eddie about it.

When it came to trying new things in the bedroom Steve and Eddie were always down for it. They’ve had several conversations about what they wanted to do with the other person and the conversation always went well. After trying some things out, both of them had a few things on their list that they would consider a hard “one and done” then leaving it at that but most of the times every experience added something to their kinky side. Overall nothing too crazy has ever made them completely shut the idea down without having an opened mind about it first except this time Steve wasn’t sure that Eddie would be willing to play into his fantasies this time around. It would open up a deeper conversation that Steve was terrified of having with Eddie and he was scared that he might have to admit that he’s thought about this a lot, a little too much. That’s why Steve avoided talking to Eddie about having sex for a hot minute beverage he knew eventually he would give in and ask Eddie if he was willing to try out his desire. It was way too embarrassing for him to bring up or forget about all together, Steve believed if they never did it then hopefully his mind would one day get rid of those thoughts he had.

Of course, they didn’t.

One day at night Eddie turned up at Steve’s house and suggested they’d spend some time together since they haven’t in weeks which Steve hated himself for. Obviously Steve couldn’t deny Eddie when he had his arm resting on doorframe and giving him that look with his big brown eyes, how could Steve resist? He let Eddie inside and both of them headed towards the leaving room. Steve went ahead and picked out a few movies for them to watch while Eddie relaxed into the couch. It took Steve a few minutes to set up the movie before it finally started to play then he joined Eddie on the couch. Eddie wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulder to pull him close and Steve leaned in to lay his head on him. They stayed like that for awhile as they watched the movies and everything seemed pretty normal for the most part. Whenever something interesting popped up on the screen they talked about it or if it was funny they’d laugh, just like old times. Steve really enjoyed nights like this when they hung out casually and he could forget about everything that was going on. It wasn’t long before Steve started thinking about his fantasies again and having vivid images flash in his head. He shook his head quickly trying to get rid of those thoughts making Eddie flinch in the process. Eddie held him close as he scanned over Steve’s face with worry.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Eddie asked softly. Steve’s face started to burn from embarrassment as he nodded his head.

“Y-yeah everything’s fine. The movie is just so good that I couldn’t control myself.” Steve lied. He laughed hoping that Eddie would fall for it and continue watching the movie. Eddie looked at him for another second then turned his attention back to the tv screen.

Steve felt relief when Eddie didn’t question him any further and really wanted things to return back to normal. That lasted for a few seconds then those images kept coming back up in his brain and they just kept getting even more explicit than before. Every image was so detailed and graphic that he could feel his cock slowly becoming hard at the thought. He groaned at the feeling of his jeans getting tighter and the friction made it even worse. Steve squirmed as he tried to get to rid of his erection without Eddie noticing but the more he moved the harder he got. Eddie looked at him with a raised brow watching him move his body not so subtly.

“Babe are you sure you’re okay?” Eddie asked and his voice was drenched with worry at this point. Steve nodded his head quickly before he pulled away from Eddie. He needed to touch himself or he’d do something that he was definitely going to regret.

“I promise I’m fine. I’m just going to use the bathroom real quick.” Steve said in hurry. He couldn’t even get up fast enough because Eddie had a tight grip on his arm and he wasn’t happy at all.

“Steve, I’m being serious right now. If something is wrong you have to let me know what it is so I can make it better.” Eddie’s voice sounded like music to Steve’s ears. He always talked sweetly to him whenever he knew something was bothering him and Steve would always give in when that happens. Steve looked away because he was embarrassed that Eddie’s voice made him even harder. His body started to burn all over, he couldn’t let Eddie know why he was feeling like this.

“It’s nothing just forget about it.” Steve responded while desperately trying to cover his crotch with his hand and that only brought attention to it. Eddie glanced down at Steve’s hand with confusion wondering why his boyfriend was acting weird. He took his hand and placed it on top of Steve’s to remove it, Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked at the obvious bulge in Steve’s pants. He smiled softly then made eye contact with Steve who was blushing all over. Eddie laughed lightly before he started to speak.

“Were you really trying to hide this from me? Steve if you wanted me to help you out down there all you had to do was ask, sweetheart.” Eddie spoke softly. He leaned in to give Steve a kiss and it made Steve’s heart flutter. It’s been awhile since they’ve kissed and after not doing it for so long things got a little heated immediately. Their lips went from kissing gently to slipping in their tongues into the others mouth. Steve moaned when Eddie licked the inside of his mouth while slowly sliding his hand over Steve’s clothed erection. Eddie’s fingers were quick to undo the button and the zipper within a second, he continued to rub the sensitive area just to get a reaction out of Steve. His cock throbbed against his underwear and the slightest touch of Eddie’s hand almost sent him over the edge. Steve kept having those images in his head repeat as Eddie rubbed his hand in a circular motion over the new wet patch that formed on Steve’s underwear. Steve let out needy moans when Eddie kissed his neck, he felt like his body was going to explode in any second because everything started to become too much. Without thinking he pushed Eddie away and he shook his head trying to get rid of these thoughts that just wouldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry. I just think it’s better for me to take care of this myself, it’s way too embarrassing to have you do it.” Steve rambled. Eddie had no idea why Steve was being so distant and for him to be too embarrassed to tell him why didn’t sit right with him at all. Whatever it was couldn’t be that bad as long as there was a way for them to get through it together. Eddie took Steve’s hand into his own and held it, giving it a little squeeze.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if anything you should never be embarrassed about anything with me. I’m not going to judge you if there’s something you need to get off your chest. You don’t have to hide from me okay?” Eddie said with a smile. Steve smiled back feeling a little bit better about talking to Eddie when it comes to his situation.

“Okay.” Steve smiled widely as he leaned in to kiss Eddie and both of them giggled halfway through it before pulling away from each other. Now they needed to handle the elephant in the room.

“Alright, that’s out the way now. Tell me what’s been on your mind lately.” Eddie jumped right into the conversation. Steve blushed instantly due to Eddie’s intense gaze and he had come to the conclusion that there was no way of avoiding this topic now. He looked down at his hands and played with his fingers while taking a deep breath. Eddie let him take his time.

“Well um… I just wanted to say that I don’t mind if you think this is weird or want to judge me I completely understand-“

“Steve,” Eddie cut him off with a laugh and he went for his hand again. “I told you I’m not going to judge you. Now stop trying to beat around the bush.”

Steve nodded his head and he tried to believe that Eddie meant every word he said without feeling ashamed. He gathered himself after a few seconds then he went back to talking.

“Okay. For a few years now even when I was in high school I’ve had this fantasy and recently it’s been popping up on my head after not thinking about it for a long time.” Steve admitted. Eddie nodded his head while he listened to Steve and he smiled when he did.

“That makes things a little easier. I’m guessing this sexual fantasy has been bugging you and freaking you out because you were nervous about asking me if we could try it. Did I get it right?” Eddie asked. Steve avoided looking at Eddie as he nodded his head. Eddie has never seen Steve this shy when it came to trying out new things in the bedroom and now he was really curious about what it could be.

“Sweetheart, you never have to be afraid of asking me if we could try something. I’m always down for whatever you want to do and if we don’t like it we definitely don’t have to do it again. Just tell me what it is.” Eddie wasn’t trying to hide his excitement, they’ve tried a lot of stuff but this time it seemed like what Steve had in mind would be a sight to see. Steve managed to laugh at the goofy expression on Eddie’s face and he could put his walls down completely.

“What I’m trying to get at is that the next time we have sex i don’t want you to be yourself,” Steve said quietly. Eddie tilts his head smiling thinking that wasn’t such a bad request. They’ve role played several times and all those times were amazing. Eddie loved getting into character no matter the circumstance especially if that’s what Steve wanted from him, he still couldn’t put a finger on why Steve was still fidgeting as if that was something to be ashamed of. Eddie had a list of characters in his mind that Steve could be thinking of that would make him this nervous to not even want to look at Eddie. His thoughts were all over the place and he kind of zoned out until Steve napped him back into reality when he elaborated on what he meant. Nothing could prepare Eddie for what he was about to hear.

“I want you to be… me.”

Out of all the things Eddie thought he would hear come out of Steve’s mouth, that was the last thing he thought of. Eddie looked at Steve with wide eyes and his mouth slightly open from shock. Steve’s face turned into a deep shade of red as he waited for Eddie to say something. Eddie had to process what Steve had told him fully and a part of him wondered if he miss heard him or was his brain playing tricks on him. Steve hated sitting there in silence thinking that Eddie had enough and thus was going to be the last straw, he’s finally done it. He drove Eddie away with his dirty fucking mind and his sick twisted fantasies which he couldn’t even blame eddie if he were to leave him right there. Eddie just sat there blinking like he was a broken item that couldn’t move anymore. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t taken aback just a little bit.

“This is why I didn’t want to say anything. It’s weird and embarrassing, you probably want to go home now which I get. I wouldn’t want to be around me either if I heard someone say that.” Steve hid his face in his hands and at this point he didn’t want Eddie to be around him any longer than what he has to. Steve’s eyes started to water at the thought of Eddie breaking up with him and he didn’t realize that he was sobbing uncontrollably until he felt hands pulling him into a warm embrace. He cried even harder when Eddie gently ran his fingers through his hair to calm him down then whispering kind words that Steve desperately needed. Eddie kissed on the top of his head hoping that Steve understood that just because he was surprised didn’t mean that he was going anywhere. Once Steve got everything out of his system Eddie pulled away while letting his finger go under Steve’s chin and tilting it up to make them share eye contact. Through Steve’s tears Eddie could see those big brown beautiful eyes that made his heart melt every time he looked into them, he wiped any tears away with his thumb and cupped the side of Steve’s face. Steve didn’t understand why Eddie was still there let alone looking at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“Are you good now?” Eddie asked softly. He still smiled like the previous events never took place and he kept rubbing his thumb over Steve’s cheek.

“Yeah but aren’t you weirded out by that?” Steve asked. Eddie laughed I’m response and shook his head.

“Shocked yes, weirded out no. We all have our things baby and that’s what makes everybody unique. I tell you what how about we try it right now and let’s see how you feel about it afterwards okay?” Eddie suggested. Steve’s eyes got big when the words came out of Eddie’s mouth and a smile appeared on his face.

“Are you serious? You’re willing to do that for me?” Steve asked happily. Eddie didn’t feel like he needed to say much and pulling Steve in for a kiss felt like enough. Steve genuinely felt like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders. Eddie was the first to pull away.

“I’d do anything when it comes to you. Now I think it’s time we go upstairs.” Eddie whispered the last part lowly into Steve’s ear and Steve already knew what he was hinting at.

They made their way upstairs quickly before closing the door and smashing their lips together. All of their movements were rougher than earlier as they rubbed their hands over each other’s body. They kissed all the way til they reached the bed and go onto it. Usually Steve would be the one on the bottom but this time around he had something else in mind. Eddie laid on his back and got ready for whatever Steve wanted to do next. Steve straddled Eddie’s hips when he made himself comfortable on the bed then leaned down to kiss him again. They kissed each other hungrily, Eddie’s tongue explored Steve’s mouth causing him to moan into his mouth. Steve moved his hips slightly and he could feel Eddie’s cock through the fabric. Eddie groaned at the feeling before putting his hands on Steve’s hood and they slowly moved their bodies in unison. Their throbbing cocks being restricted by their pants made both of them kiss each other with so much desperation. Steve ended the kiss when he pulled away and sat up straight on Eddie’s lap. Eddie kept his hands on Steve’s hips while looking up at him to watch his every move.

“I’m all ears for what you want me to do, just tell me what and I’ll do it.” Eddie reassured Steve. He didn’t want to ruin Steve’s experience and he wanted Steve to have as much control of the situation as possible. Steve smiled brightly as he already thought of what he wanted Eddie to do exactly.

“Alright. For starters, I want you to refer to yourself as me and instead of saying your name I’ll call you Steve. If that makes sense.” Steve explained. It sounded weird saying it out loud but Eddie wasn’t phased by it all. He nodded his head and took in everything Steve had told him. “Other than that nothing really has to change.”

“Gotcha.” Eddie said then he leaned up to kiss Steve and he slid his fingers under Steve’s shirt. He traced his fingers across Steve’s skin then tugging on the hem of the shirt before lifting it over Steve’s head to toss it aside. Eddie was quick to remove his shirt too and both of them took off their pants along with their underwear. Now Steve was left sitting on top of Eddie’s cock that was leaking with precum and his own cock throbbed the longer he looked at Eddie. He knew what came next so he reached over to grab some lube off the nightstand near the bed before applying a good amount onto his hand. Eddie smirked at the idea of Steve stretching himself without his help but he couldn’t resist the urge to join in. “Want some help with that baby?”

“No I got it. Just sit back and relax.” Steve put his hand on Eddie’s chest to make him lay down flat. He breathed deeply when he took the semi cold substance on his finger and pressed it against his entrance. Steve lifted himself up for more access and he pushed a finger inside his tight hole letting a high pitched whine escape his lips. Eddie could come just by watching Steve fingering himself and how he could barely take his own fingers. Steve moaned louder when he slipped another finger in while inserting them deeper until he hit a soft spot. He jumped as he cried out from the intense feeling of pain mixed with pleasure, Eddie did everything in his power to not touch Steve but he couldn’t control himself. Eddie sat grabbing Steve’s waist then taking his finger and sliding it into Steve’s hole along with the rest of his fingers. Before Steve could say anything Eddie kissed him roughly while stretching Steve out and fucking him with just a finger. Steve moaned loudly against Eddie’s lips, nothing was even inside him yet and he was already a mess.

“You like when the king of hawkins high stretch out huh, Steve?” Eddie said lowly. Steve moaned even louder once he imagined Eddie as himself and his cock twitched from Eddie’s voice. Eddie pulled his finger along with Steve’s out of his hole and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock. Steve lifted himself up once more to align his entrance with Eddie’s tip and Eddie held him in place to make it a little easier. Slowly Steve pushed himself down onto Eddie’s cock as he felt the tip press against his rim, Steve threw his arms around Eddie’s shoulders while crying out from his cock going deep into him. Eddie kissed Steve on the side of his cheek when tears started to run down his face. Steve felt so many emotions and feeling Eddie fill him up made him lose his mind.

“Good boy, you’re taking your own cock so well. Do you like filling yourself up Steve?” Eddie asked while slowly moving his hips and thrusting upwards. Steve held on to Eddie tightly trying to respond but all of his word were just desperate moans as he bounced on Eddie’s cock pretending it was his own. He blushed deeply when Eddie took his nipple into his mouth and sucked on it. The sensitive bud being touched was enough to get more tears out Steve. Eddie licked his nipples for few more seconds then pulled away. He was still expecting Steve to answer the question he had a few seconds prior, luckily Steve didn’t need to to be reminded of it.

“Y-yes… I love being filled by your cock Steve, fuck.” Steve said barely being able to catch his breath with Eddie fucking into him like there was no tomorrow. Eddie put his hands on Steve’s hips and slammed him down repeatedly making Steve whine. Both of them moved their bodies in unison while the room was filled with the sound of skin slapping and their filthy noises. Eddie started off thrusting slow then he speeded up the pace. Steve’s tip leaked with precum dripping down the sides as he let his imagination run wild, he wanted to cum from fucking himself so badly.

“You’re getting tighter whenever you think about fucking yourself. Look at you becoming a mess already darling.” Eddie thrusted harder until Steve was digging his nails into Eddie’s back and unable to say complete sentences. Steve begged Eddie to fuck him harder even though he was already going hard enough. Eddie continued to destroy Steve’s hole like he requested and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm. Steve felt his stomach turn every time Eddie’s cock went inside him shamelessly, the faster Eddie went he knew he would be coming soon.

“S-Steve I can’t… too much.” Steve moaned. Eddie smiled as he he cupped the side of Steve’s face and captured his lips while keeping up his rhythm. They kissed passionately knowing that their climaxes were coming in a few seconds. Eddie tugged at Steve’s hair causing him to let out the sexiest moan he’s ever heard and getting access to Steve’s neck. Taking his skin into his mouth and when he goes back to work the whole store will know that Steve is his. Purple bruises already started to form in a short amount of time which Eddie was proud of. Steve held onto Eddie tighter when his cock throbbed against his stomach and he let out a cry knowing that he couldn’t stop himself.

“I know you want to cum baby, go head and cum for me like a good boy.” Eddie kissed Steve on the check as those words settled in Steve’s ear. As if on command Steve came hard on himself and onto Eddie. Not too long after Eddie filled Steve up with his own cum until it spilled out. Both of them felt extremely drained from all of that but managed to give each other a sweet kiss. Eddie smiled after seeing that Steve looked happier and calm. “So, how was it?”

“It was amazing.” Steve said honestly. He couldn’t stop smiling from finally being able to explore his fantasy with Eddie and all of it was so hot. Eddie laughed while hugging Steve tightly.

“I’m glad you did but you know you’re a narcissist right?” Eddie joked earning a slap on the shoulder from Steve.

“Shut up.” Steve retorted then he pulled Eddie in for another kiss and giggled the entire night in each other’s arms.

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moonlightchess · 10 months

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I'm bored so it's storytime again, let me tell you all about the time I once almost got murdered in an AMC theater.

I once accidentally showed up way too early to meet my two friends to see a movie on a Tuesday afternoon - I'd thought my friend said that the movie started at 12:15 in her text, but it actually started at 2:15. I was trying to save money, so instead of mindlessly shopping I realized that It Comes at Night was playing at like 12:30 or whatever, and was the perfect length of time for me to chill and enjoy another movie before my friends showed up. Great!

So I'm chilling now, it's noon on a Tuesday so I have the entire theater to myself. I've got my feet up, snacks arranged, this is the LIFE. The movie's kind of eh, but entertaining enough to hold my attention until another person entered the dark, empty theater about an hour after the movie had started. I assumed it was an employee cleaning or something, but instead of doing that, this person walked directly to the seat RIGHT beside me in an otherwise entirely empty theater, and sat down.

Y'all ever been a woman? Y'all ever just know? Technically speaking, this man hadn't done a thing wrong. He hadn't hurt me, scared me, he hadn't even spoken to me. He'd just walked into an empty movie theater for a movie that had started an hour ago and sat down, but every single alarm in my head was going off. Within five minutes, I was out of my seat, finding an employee to explain that dude was fine technically, but I was creeped out.

So the employee was obviously confused about why he'd want to see a half-done movie on the big screen, and she said, "He probably just got lost and wandered into the wrong theater, it happens. He's probably as confused as you right now. I'll go talk to him."

This was not the case.

She goes to speak to him. "Hi Sir, we just wanted to make sure you were in the right theater? This movie started an hour ago, can I check your ticket super quick?"

The man in question immediately launched himself out of his seat, shrieking WILDLY about FUCKING BITCH FUCKING BITCHES GONNA KILL THESE FUCKING WHORES and now we're both reeling backwards, screaming, terrified, and mall security is running into the theater. Mall security tells him that he needs to empty his BULGING pockets right now or they're calling the police. His response?

"FUCKING BITCH WHORE CUNTS FUCKING BITCHES FUCKING KIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL YOU!"

They called the police. The police showed up. Made him empty said pockets.

Zip ties, a sharpened-down screwdriver, a mysterious reeking liquid substance in some kind of....sealed baggie, I guess? and best of all, a fucking flip knife. The entire time he's yanking all of this out of his pockets, screaming at me, the employee, the police officers, everyone. Obviously at this point they're handcuffing him, and they ask me, pleading with their eyes, if I want to press charges. ACAB, so I said, "I mean, what could I press charges for, officer? He walked into an empty theater, sat down, got weird, started screaming, scared us briefly. I doubt any judge would give a shit."

Then he lunged.

He was aiming for me, but he was also high as shit on crack cocaine, I later learned, so he only succeeded in flailing clumsily into one of the reclining AMC seats in the second row, where I'd been. I didn't even really need to jump back, he was so off, but that was when the officer he'd nearly just punched in the throat had enough and dragged him off. Now it's CHAOS, he's screaming and I'm screaming and the cops are screaming and the employees are screaming, EVERYONE'S SCREAMING AND FLAILING WILDLY.

"For the love of christ, PLEASE press charges so we can get this guy off the streets," one of the cops said.

"For what, the weekend? He'll be out by Monday."

The officer looked at me. I looked at the officer. His shoulders sagged, and he just mumbled, "...Fuck, man."

And that's the tale of how I was almost murdered in an AMC! 🔪🔪🔪

#many thanks to the employees who definitely saved my life that night I hope you all got raises

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lovequinn · 4 months

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i cannot break my tradition so here is the annual mushy new years eve post

(first a quick sidebar: i started doing these end of year posts in 2018 i think? i tried to go back today and find all the ones i'd written previously and it just really sank in how different everything is, both internally and externally. obviously i was very aware of that to a degree already, but actually reading the way i spoke about myself and my life is so out-of-body. i was 20 when i wrote one of these for the first time; i'd just dropped out of college, i was grasping on to anything and anyone that made me feel like i belonged or gave me any sort of direction. it's bittersweet to see, because i was trying so hard to be happy when i wasn't, and i wish i could go back and tell that person that it's gonna be fine. i like making these posts because i like to think it's a way of writing to that version of myself and saying hey...here's how we're doing now.)

2023 was, personally, the best year of my life.

this was the year i woke up one morning and said fuck it, i'm tired of not doing what i need to do to make myself happy. i'm tired of being scared to make the decisions i want to make. i'm tired of using "i'm still growing up and figuring out what i'm doing" (i wrote about this a lot in january here) as an excuse to not take the leap and figure it out on my terms.

this was the year that i embraced myself and my identity fully for the first time, even if it's something still ever-changing. it took me until 2022 to acknowledge and accept that i wasn't a cis woman, but i still clung to making myself okay with she/her pronouns in addition to my preferred they/them and avoiding using the word "trans" at all costs. 2023 is the year i started to wear the trans label with pride and i slowly, surely, shook away the parts of me that were afraid of change. i'm still working on that daunting concept of letting other people have insight into the most vulnerable parts of who you are, and i feel like i always will be, but i am millions of miles ahead of where i was twelve months ago when it comes to being confident about what i want and what i need in that respect.

a lot of that is due to the people i surrounded myself with this year. i have had the immense privilege of forming friendships with some of my heroes, and conversely, of watching some longtime friends become heroes. the people that i hold closest to me at the end of 2023 are people who i got to watch advocate for themselves and for others all year long, be that through picket lines, through strength in their personal life, through layoffs, through championing for marginalized people in media, etc. i am so lucky to have the chance to learn from these people and how they live their lives every day. and i find myself lately waking up grateful that i feel cared for and loved by the people i've chosen, in ways i didn't know i could be.

2023 was the year that i connected with the things i love more than i've ever gotten to before. entirely gone is any lingering shame i had about enjoying media, fandoms, stories. getting excited about stuff is cool, actually, and life is short. i had a conversation with an actor i admire and adore so much who said that it's incredibly stupid to pretend to be inhuman and above having things that bring us joy, and i took that to heart. i got to do things like attend premieres and work on promotion for things i'm obsessed with, and i was unabashed about my love for what i choose to consume. this fall, one of the first people i saw after making a terrifying cross-country move was my idol growing up, who i'd crossed paths with a bunch already earlier in the year. that person told me how proud they were of me (and followed up later with a message repeating that) and in a way, that made my teenage self feel so, so proud of me too.

in that vein...this was the year that "i know i would be happy moving to LA, but that's a pipe dream for someday" quickly became closing my eyes, taking a breath, and making the leap. most of the process still feels like it was a blackout, honestly. out of nowhere i had suddenly packed my entire life into a car, left the only place i've been my entire life, and drove 41 hours on my own to an apartment i'd rented without seeing and a roommate i'd never met in person. it was the best decision i've ever made. something that had always felt out of place finally clicked into where it was supposed to be. i adopted a cat on impulse two weeks after moving and with that as the cherry on top...i just truly have spent the last several months finally feeling that wholehearted fulfillment other people talk about and that i never totally understood.

there's so, so much more i could write about, from trips to disneyland, to parties, to relationships. but this is getting so long already, so i'll just add some pictures below and leave it at: i am so thankful for 2023. i am so excited for 2024. let's see what it brings, good or bad.

#personal

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consul-valerius · 1 year

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Hold My Hand & Tell Me I Did Good (2/2)

“A necessary procedure to receive—and what a procedure it will be! You are so, so lucky. I’ll keep you awake so that you may enjoy it thoroughly—I know I will! Isn’t that exciting, Damien?”

Rating: T+

W/C: 2253

Characters present: Previous characters plus Valdemar & mentions of Marisol, Vulgora, and Vlastomil

Content warnings: references to abuse/childhood kidnapping; negative self-talk; manipulation & verbal abuse; alcohol mention/forced consumption; implied vivisection because Valdemar.; Damien is Not Having a Good Time & Valdemar is Not Nice

A/N: and then things got very real :') obviously a much heavier chapter so heed chapter warnings

Imee and I are seated in front of one another. Mama, Papa, and Nadia are sitting off to the side, away so that I can’t see them but I know that they’re there. Imee first guides me through a fairly standard meditation; it is not very different than the silly ones Asra would make me do. Between her words, though, I can feel chilly tendrils of magic at my temples. They’re just small wisps, more like a cooling breeze than some heavy spell. But the effect is almost immediate as she begins to count down from ten, each step dropping me lower and lower into the darkness behind my eyelids. I no longer feel the chair beneath me or the soft skin of Imee’s hands.

Before I know it, I am no longer in the palace at all. My parents are gone. Nadia is gone. I can only make out Tita Imee’s voice.

“Now, tell me, where are you? What do you see?”

“I… I’m back… there, in the cellar. It’s… humid and sticky. And dark. Very dark. Why aren’t more candles lit? I can barely see anything…”

“Are you alone, Damien?”

“Yes—No. They’re here with me. They’re always here, even when… Even when… stars, why is it so dark?”

“Damien, can you hear me? Who is with you?”

“You know I don’t like the dark.”

“Damien, sweet boy, let me guide you—”

“Have I done something wrong? I thought… the day was going so well. I thought that we… you said we’d do something nice for today.”

My arms feel heavy and sluggish, the exact opposite of how my brain feels. I feel like I’m on fire, my chest tight, and my heart racing too fast. Valdemar only smiles at me, calm and serene. Everything I am not. How I want to be them, want to be theirs, and yet I am not. Yet I am my father’s son.

Yet I am so scared.

“Relax, little duckling.”

How many times have they told me this? How many times have I disobeyed them?

“I’m really sorry, whatever I did—I know you hate apologies like this, and I’m sorry about that too, but I—”

“This is no punishment.”

“Then please… more candles, please.”

“Not yet. I will light more while I am working.”

“Working?”

“Are you not excited about your birthday present, Damien? It is quite special. A real treat.”

I stare ahead into the dark corners of the room, trying and failing not to see the twisted shapes that flicker with the few candles lit. The cellar always terrifies me; this is Valdemar’s domain, their private quarters. I only am granted entry when I have something to do, a test to complete to gauge my “progress.”

This does not feel like a test, though. This is a different fear, a different dread.

“Where is abuela?”

“Are you not sick of her and her mother henning?” Valdemar sounds hurt as they clasp a bony hand on my shoulder. I want to punch myself for making them upset. “You have spent all day with her. Am I not enough anymore, Damien?” They prefer when I punch myself in my stomach—they think it makes a funny sound.

I have to stop myself from gasping as they are suddenly in front of me. Their wide eyes are nearly bulging, the corners of their mouth sagging, like a mask being melted off. They have twisted their face into something that they think is sad, and it nearly makes me weep. Not because it is sad, but because it is scary, and they know it’s scary, and they’re doing it to scare me.

“O-Of course you are, Master, I just—”

“Do you not trust me anymore?”

“Of course I do! Master, you are my everything—the light in the dark, the reason within the madness. I just—”

“Then follow me, duckling, and hush your whining.”

Their tone is once again their usual, shrill annoyance. They pull me along with them, their wide smile returning too. They try situating me on some sort of table; I fumble to shimmy up on it. Abuela says that I am getting fatter every day, that I’m cursed with my mama’s childbearing hips and there’s nothing I can do about it. She says they get that from her abuela, but she always remained skinny like a board. I don’t know what any of that really means. I cannot tell if she resents me for my body or if she is just disgusted by it. She says I remind her of my mama, who reminds her of her sister, but I don’t see any of that. I just see mounds of flesh and stretch marks that weren’t there before.

Vulgora says to be hefty is to have a good defense. Vlastomil tells me the chubbiest grubs are the happiest. I say that it makes sitting up on top of tables more difficult, and I think Valdemar agrees.

After some effort, I am sitting and looking around again. Valdemar normally demands eye contact, but for now, they allow me to do this. In the low light, I can see that there is a desk with a variety of books and tools on the side of them. I cannot make out the tombs, the writing is too small, and the diagrams gibberish to me. It is not the typical anatomy books that they normally show me, though; for once, I can tell it is arcane in nature.

“Is this… a test?”

At this, they laugh. I don’t understand why they always laugh at me, even if I haven’t said anything funny.

“Oh no. No, no, no, silly duckling.”

Am I really such a fool that you must always laugh at me?

“Think of this as a reward for passing so many of your tests, actually.”

I am at first ecstatic to hear this, smiling without thinking. It hurts my cheeks to do this, but the praise dulls that ache.

“A stepping stone to your final accomplishment.”

But then I remember that you aren’t my mother nor my father nor my abuela nor Vulgora nor Vlastomil.

I am no longer smiling. I think I may puke, actually, or faint. Or perhaps just die right here and now.

“What… What kind of procedure? Where is abuela? Does she know?”

They would like that—if I died here in front of them. I think I would too; I know they would take such good care of my body.

“There you go crying for mommy again.” They are angry again, this time not even bothering to pretend to be hurt.

They would treat me so nicely if I died right now. That is the only way they will ever treat me so nicely.

“I’m not… I’m not a baby! I just—”

“That’s the one test you will never pass—but we can still do this. Despite that weakness, you are still more than ready for this.”

Doctors always scared me as a child. Even Uncle Julian scared me when he gave me checkups. Mama and Papa always held my hands, both of them, while he would examine my eyes, or my temperature, or the spots growing on my hands and feet.

“This is a gift, Damien. One that no mere human can typically ever experience. Do not spoil it by being such a brat. Be grateful I am even giving it to you.”

I am alone now. Alone and yet not alone. Never alone. My hands are cold and they are empty and I just want my mama and papa to hold them.

“You are stronger than any mere human. And I will take care of you every step of the way. Doesn’t that sound so nice?”

I stopped holding my papa’s hand right before I left. I think he hated how my hands felt, even with the gloves on. So I stopped holding them, stopped letting him touch them.

“Do you trust me, Damien?”

Valdemar does not hold my hand either. Instead, they hold my arms, keeping me in place, forcing me to look into their unblinking eyes. Their hands are so cold.

“I trust you, Master.”

They will not hold my hand while my heart is beating.

“Do you love me, Damien?”

Do you love me?

“Yes.”

“Drink this, then.”

A cup is slipped between my trembling hands. Already, I can smell it’s some sort of strong alcohol. Stronger than the usual wine they make me drink before our tests. I hesitate at first, the smell nauseating, but the small quirk of Valdemar’s thin eyebrow has me gulping the glass down quickly. It burns my throat and makes my eyes water even more. I am retching as soon as I gulp the last drop, coughing into my hands as the world spins around me. I feel a heat rush to the top of my head before settling in my gut, heavy.

“Come now, child of the palace lush!” Valdemar is laughing at me again; they are already refilling the glass. I am trying so hard not to puke on the floor again. They were so mad at me the last time. “You must get better at this. You’ll put your poor father to shame.”

I want to go home.

“Now lie down, little duckling.”

I want to go home and hold my father’s hand.

“What’s going on, Master?” I am finally crying, unable to stop myself anymore. I am frantic and slurring my words. I hate how it sounds. They always laugh at my lisp. “I’m so scared, please, I don’t—”

“Damien.”

They are forcing me to drink again; this time I have a harder time swallowing. They're still smiling, still trying to soothe me in that strange way.

“—I didn’t mean to upset you—”

A gift. This is a gift that no one else can have. Be grateful.

“Damien, you need to wake up sweetie. This isn’t real, Damien, you must wake up.”

A gate from this world to the next; one that will follow you wherever you go, wherever I may need it.

“Damien? Damien, wake up!”

I just need to make a few, tiny, intricate cuts to do it. Then you will be useful to me. Just lie back now, close your eyes if you need to, and let your master work. Yes?

“Damien, please, this is not real, you are not there—!”

Yes. Let us begin, duckling. You can hold my hand if it gets too painful. You can even watch if you get bored keeping your eyes closed! Won't that be fun?

“Damien! The session is done!”

Happy birthday, Damien.

“Damien, darling, enough!”

And then suddenly I am holding my father’s trembling hands. He is all I see at first, his face red and wet. He’s crying. He’s shaking me. I realize that I am screaming so I stop. I don’t want to hurt his ears. Everyone is crying or about to cry. This is normally how people are whenever I am in the room now. Mama is by my other side, too, brushing my hair from my face. I'm so sweaty, my heart still pounding.

Tita Imee is in front of me, paler and older-looking. She looks like she may faint, and a servant across the room moves to assist her. Good. I would feel so bad if she up and died because Nadia put her up to this. Old Man Sam would blame me though—nothing is Nadia’s fault.

In fact, Nadia’s wide eyes are glued to me, her mouth slightly ajar. She isn’t crying, but she looks like she might, those red eyes switching from my weeping mother to my weeping father. The first thing I feel is a sick satisfaction that I have upset her in some sort of way, that her plan failed. And now she has made my parents cry. My parents, who thought they had lost their son, are crying because she bullied us into doing this stupid test.

She is a failure.

And then I am sobbing, gasping and crying out and flinging myself into Papa’s arms. He embraces me immediately, his hands in my hair, holding my face close to his chest. Everything is so blurred after that as he fumbles to run us out of the room.

“We are done!” I hear him snap at Nadia. I want to be happy, but I can’t right now. But I am proud—I have never been more proud of him. “We are finished with your ceaseless interrogations! My son has nothing to hide, damn you! Nothing!”

And then we are out of the room, stepping hurriedly side by side. Papa is covering my face with his scarf; he knows I hate how the servants stare. It feels like every day I am being paraded into the palace, only to be rushed out by one of my parents. I know that Mama is still in the room, most likely arguing with Nadia. I wonder if she is fighting back this time. Or is she sitting there with her jaw glued shut now?

The last time. This will be the last time. I know it; father never shouts at Nadia. No one does. But things are different, have been different, and they are even more different now that I am home.

Hidden behind Papa’s scarf, I smile despite my crying. My tears slip past the gap in my teeth. I smile because I did it. Because there will be no more questions. No more prodding. I won’t have to lie as much. I won’t have to keep this mask up so much. I will have peace, even just a little.

I beat Nadia. I beat her at her own, stupid game. I am smarter than her, smarter than my parents, smarter than any stupid little magician they put in front of me.

I am victorious.

Master, are you proud of me? Did you see me? Did you see how good I did?

Well? Did you?

#bottom writes #problem child damien #fan apprentice donna #consul valerius #quaestor valdemar #speaking roles get tags lol #damien is having. a TIME!!! LMFAO #also very pleased with valerius in this part despite only having one line lmao

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deepspacedukat · 1 year

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Not a request, it’s just another one of those “I’m telling you about this because I’m obsessed with this idea and my only other option is to scream it into the void or write it myself”.

Romulan let’s the mute human woman (born this way, trauma, etc) touch his hand so that she can communicate freely or so he can act as her voice when she is frustrated with others in the room that don’t know sign or if a thought/idea is too complex to sign easily. They become so used to this they are practically glued to each other and constantly touching hands not really thinking twice about it. He had no idea human women could be so damn snarky and cunning - not having had much experience around them - but is very pleased. She’s highly amused by his arrogance and surprising softness that he has accidentally let slip through his thoughts. When it’s time to go their separate ways, they both feel as though that would almost be like cutting off a limb they are so used to one another. They’ve become extensions of the other. Guess she’s gonna have to be a Romulan citizen now? 🥺😭

In my brain this is in a Jem hadar prison camp and they are the ones who mutilated her so she couldn’t speak. She’s bitter and frustrated with how she can’t communicate, so he offers her his help.

This is so Letant tbh - can you imagine him going all politician at a party on Romulus or something and leading his now wife around by his elbow, touching her hand. They’d be silently gossiping and reveling in their own private jokes while keeping straight faces in front of the other Senators. (Sorta kinda like one of your Vorik fics at the luau)

Ugh just a screaming, crying, throwing up. Seriously tho - I love your writing so much. You’re such an inspo - keep up the amazing work ❤️

sorry not sorry for the brainworm,

Toebeans

OHMYGOD, OKAY. Okay, I'm finally forcing myself to post this. I've read it an unreasonable amount of times and it's been in my brain since I received it last night. Thank you for the really sweet words, btw! I’m glad you enjoy my writing, friend! ❤️

*shifty eyes* @horta-in-charge! You need to see this and suffer with me, okay? Okay! 😇

This got so long omg. I had A Lot Of Thoughts.

This whole idea makes me fucking feral! Going off of the concept that the Jem’Hadar were the ones who made it so she can’t talk leaves so much space for so many emotions! Like, she gets tossed in the cell Letant is in, and he’s there to witness her realization that she no longer has the ability to talk and her first few struggles to make her thoughts known.

At first, he helps translate for her because seeing her struggle is an annoyance...and in a way that he doesn’t want to admit, seeing her in pain/crying makes him want to bundle her up in his arms. He wants to make that feeling stop, and he thinks it’s just empathy, so he starts doing the touch telepathy translating thing.

But the feelings don’t stop (obviously). They get stronger and stronger until he finds himself smiling more despite their captivity and protecting her despite the danger to himself until “oh no, I love her.” Then the moment comes when they’re free/heading back to the wormhole (or some close Starbase depending on where the camp is) and they realize that their state of existence in a nearly inseparable pair is imminently at risk of being completely destroyed. As you said, at that point he’s a part of her and she’s a part of him. And they can both tell when the other realizes, because they’re both scared - it’s not her first time being terrified, but it is the first time since the Jem’Hadar took her ability to speak that she’s been this scared; it’s definitely his first time being anything close to this frightened of losing someone, and all semblance of arrogance is just completely gone. Because he can’t lose her. And she can’t lose him.

He just doesn’t let go of her the entire trip to the wormhole/starbase, cuddling her close and trying to figure out what to do while she sleeps - should he stay in Federation territory with her? Or did his responsibility as a member of the Romulan Senate render that impossible? If it did, would she go with him?

When her hand touches his face, he realizes that oh fuck, she was awake for that whole thought process. How much did she hear?? And he’s suddenly hit with the terrifying thought that she would think him ridiculous for wanting to be with her. After all, he was only translating for her. And she was human - he was so much older than her.

But then she kisses him and holds his hand like she always does when he translates for her. Just one request filters through: “Take me home with you.”

When he does, it’s as his wife, and he’s So Proud of her. They absolutely have the little gossip sessions telepathically at every social function, and if anyone says anything rude about her being human or mute or whatever, they face the Wrath™ of a Very Protective Romulan Senator.

Screeching and throwing things and sobbing and–

#deepspacedukat asks #toebeans-mcgee #ISTFG THIS BROKE ME IN SOME INCOMPREHENSIBLE WAY #WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??

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nerdyydragon · 2 years

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I’m gonna get absolutely ripped into by the Tumblr purity police for this, and I’ve been around the internet long enough (too damned long) to know that this isn’t a new thing at all whatsoever but… fandom does know that people can enjoy a good villain, right? They can enjoy the character and don’t have to make excuses for liking them and remind everyone that they, the fan and poster of this content, do not in any way condone their behaviour and actually wrestle with the morality of enjoying them with every other breath, as though it is some Herculean undertaking to enjoy a character written explicitly to be enticing?

I’m going to talk specifically about RoP here for a minute because it’s the most recent show I’ve seen (and thus most recent subfandom I’ve dived into), but going into the tags there is an absolutely overwhelming amount of fic that tries to take the moral high ground about liking a character that’s written to be… evil. Like that’s it. Halbrand’s the bad guy!! Technically he doesn’t even exist! Sauron made up the alias because he couldn’t just go around giving people any number of names associated with a guy who supposedly died over a thousand years ago and has committed multiple fantasy war crimes, probably. The reveal scene where the ruse drops (Halbrand you’re scaring the hoes) is gorgeous, and Charlie does an absolutely delicious job of portraying a human smith-king struggling with a murky past only to drop it the moment it’s no longer useful. You are allowed to enjoy that. You are allowed to find it alluring and, dare I say it, attractive. That’s the point. That’s Tolkien’s whole argument in the Silmarillion.

Nobody was immune to sexy Sauron propaganda because he was considered too hot to actually do anything other than watch his hair glitter in the sun. Everyone around him considered that man “no thoughts, head empty, just vibes”.

Halbrand | Sauron is, by definition, a lying liar who lies, and fans have known that from the get that Mairon was originally so beautiful that pretty much nobody noticed that he was getting into shady side-hustles, at least in the beginning. But this trend of reducing antagonistic or villainous characters to single traits and negating the other elements of their “identity”—I’m putting that in quotes because it’s fiction even though that tends to unfortunately also happen to real people—that indicate they have other thoughts besides corruption and murder and brooding in a tower they built to plot their world domination ignores the deliberate complexity of fiction. Good characters imitate life; they’re not like real people, but they’re a representation of qualities and archetypes rolled into a ball for narrative purpose that reflect ideologies, politics, social conventions, and cultural norms.

There was a millennia between when Sauron disappeared and when Halbrand showed up (allegedly), and a millennia in which he became someone who on the surface appeared totally content with working in a smithy in Númenor and living as a common man. Do I think that would have worked for him long-term? No, he absolutely would have tired of it eventually, and canonically at some point he has to go back to the Southlands in order for the forging of the rings and the story to proceed. He presents himself both as Halbrand and in his mind-manipulations as someone who wants to save Middle Earth. In his mind he’s the hero; he’s under the assumption that he’s the best person for the task of freeing the lands of men from themselves and healing the nation after Morgoth’s rule (he’s wrong, obviously, because he’s both traumatized himself and too ambitious for his own good). Yet every fic I see of him sounds so incredibly terrified of embracing any sort of darkness other than “he’s evil and murderous and wants to corrupt everyone”. I have no problem with dark themes in fiction; maybe it’s because I myself am an author working with darker themes right now, but the majority of, at the very least more vocal fic authors, wrestle with their attraction to it in a way that falls very far short of “he’s evil and I alone can fix it” because it’s too undercut with “he’s evil and I need to everyone to know I don’t excuse it” which doesn’t make for good character. It just means your fic is a mouthpiece for purity grandstanding and avoiding people coming at you for liking a problematic character.

There are obviously a plethora of other examples, not even getting into shipping and this apparent need to justify a ship—if you don’t agree with or like something, just… don’t read it—but my point is that you don’t have to excuse a character’s actions to enjoy the character. It’s fiction. Obviously you don’t condone mass murder and tyrannical dictatorships unless the guy doing it is hot. Obviously you don’t condone abusive relationships. But my god, if you’re going to write fic for the literal villain of a series that people have been arguing about for literal fucking decades, don’t try to excuse your enjoyment of it by saying in the writing that you don’t agree (unless it’s for wider characterization purposes). Saying what amounts to “[character A] is obviously so attractive but they’re evil so [character B] can’t love them even though they did up until this pivotal moment, but A is So Evil Nobody Could Love Them although lust is fine because I, the writer, am clearly not excusing their actions and am obviously morally in the clear and Better Than You” is disingenuous.

Anyway this sort of got off the rails but this is all to say that you can enjoy the bad guy. That’s… the whole point of a well-written villain. You can’t have one without the other; you can’t say “I like the bad guy but only when…” because then you don’t like the character. You like the idea of them. Good villains, even if they’re doing explicitly shitty things, often believe they’re justified. They possess “logic” that informs the decisions they made—decisions written by an author deliberately to add complexity. So liking the villain but only when they’re not doing villainous things means you don’t actually like the villain, and you need to stop pretending you do, because for some fans the general disdain is very obviously at war with some secret attraction they believe is itself morally bankrupt and frankly it’s gross.

#fiction #writing #fics #villains #writing villains #yes this is partly about RoP so I’m also tagging:#rings of power #rings of power spoilers #rop spoilers #lotr trop #fandom #fanfiction #anti purity culture #the silmarillion

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multiverseofimagines · 1 year

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Hi Gwen! Can I have a Stranger things ship?

First of all, I'm sorry for any grammar errors, bc English isn't even my second language 🤣

I always was "that one weirdo"

I identify myself as pan/demisexual and agender.

INTP, but I'm far from the stereotype. I'm nerd without social life for sure, but that's all.

I'm history student and artist. I can't paint too often, because I have no free time bc of the uni, but I love when my hands smell with oil paint, and how blank canvas slowly turning into something beautiful. I love thrift hunt. Most of the things in my place are really old, and probably hunted. It's difficult to find a free space in my room, because it's all occupied by plants, books, pet's supplies, and tonnes of vintage stuff. I would describe my style as mostly whimsygothic.

I'm 167cm tall, skinny, with long spaghetti limbs. I'm pale as frozen chicken, with many moles. I have messy dark auburn hair and big amber protruding eyes. One of the most noticeable things on my face, it's a big greek nose with small round glasses on it.

I mostly listen rock in different subgenres. I also love folk music.

My favourite movies are Orlando (1992) and The Wicker man (1973)

That's probably all

Thank you, and have a nice day ~~~

Of course! Here you go lovely ~

I ship you with…

Tell me you guys aren’t soulmates I DARE YOU.

Similar vibes all across the board, both intp’s, both of you are a little androgynous + queer and you both are very introverted people.

Thrifting dates 😭 going into the city and going to all the consignment stores and hunting for cool vintage stuff.

PAINTING HER !! Always painting her or things for her that she likes. She’s your muse. You don’t show her cause you’re terrified she will hate them but one day you leave your multimedia sketchbook on the table to go to the washroom and she’s nosy as fuck obviously and opens it to see herself in different variants of smudged oil.

Y’all fighting vecna together !! Literally would be so badass I can’t. You guys both nod at one another before the battle, both scared to lose one another but determined.

Coming out to each-other before you started dating. I feel like you would come out first, you would be so anxious and literally shaking at the thought of telling her and she just goes “ no way ! “ and at first you feel defeated like she is just gonna make fun of it, and your kind of like “ yeah- I knew you wouldn’t get it.” And she just goes “ wait what??? no- that’s not what I meant at all.” You sigh still a bit disappointed, but she looks at you with a much more serious look, and says “ have you seen me y/n?? Is it not obvious that I’m like- super gay?”

Heres a little moodboard, some pics that give me robin vibes and the outfits I can imagine you wearing based off your aesthetic. I did accidentally pick mostly fem options, I’m so sorry, I know you described yourself as agender, so hopefully this still suffices, I’m so sorry! And I picked the middle outfit in case your into a more “goth” whimsigoth. 💖 enjoy xo gwen

#my ships #stranger things ships #multiverseofimagines ships

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system-of-a-feather · 1 year

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It is really wild how heavily my feelings towards possibly having a semi-normal semi-low stress semi-free life soon swings WILDLY between the normal and expected joy and excitement, and sheer depression and anxiety. It's part of the motions itself and it's the trauma speaking, but the idea of not having my childhood trauma placing strict psychological walls and limits of what I can and can't do just... in a weird way it seems almost miserably boring right now. Like literally 3 hours ago I was excited and relieved but now Im dreading it - and I'm pretty sure I'm still me, maybe I'm still fused with Data as well and its just me swinging between two dominant sides, I can't tell but good god the swings from relief, excitement, joy and just an existential crisis and sense that without the chronic stress and pressure and extremely rigid walls I've been living in if I would even still be me

Which is an anxiety thing, because obviously Ill still be me and obviously life will still suck and be stressful in its own ways, but man is the idea of being relatively free came out of left field and I've only had a month to really realize how close we are to it.

I'm honestly... kind of scared to be happy. I don't think I'm ready for it XD

Like straight up, I'm terrified of being happy and healing now that I'm at a huge threshold point in healing probably. Im just like

Wait wait

Wait no wait

Hold up slow down

I haven't thought about this decision genuinely beyond a theoretical haha thatd be nice but would never happen

And its at my front door

What do you mean Ill have OPTIONS in life other than survive

Im not ready for OPTIONS in life

God someone hide me I'm not ready to live and thrive jesus christ

Most graduating college students I feel have this anxiety around graduating because they have to live on their own, take on independence, and have to adult permanently on their own and that stress I'm good I love that I'm ready for that

But god damn does the freedom of not having to prepare for the next test every 3-4 weeks, the grind to do more and more, and then returning home and not having my own place - that shit, THAT shit scares the fuck out of me

Make me survive on $5 for food a day, fine I can make that work I'm used to and good at struggling and suffering. Give me a home and money that I make myself and let me live with my supportive and loving fiance and engage in my hobbies when I get the chance because I succeeded at immense cost at preparing for the work force?????????

Relaxing?! ENJOYING LIFE?! terrifying.

Like Im writing this satirically but its unironically the thing thats had me dysregulated for a fucking month. It's getting better and more manageable than before but good GOD have I never more understood the thing my therapist tried to get me to understand that "I have grown comfortable in my misery"

Like I don't want to stay in my current life style god no its not sustainable, but to get BETTER? To have a chance at something nice? Somehow right now that sounds scarier than the current life cause man, I know my misery. Even when my brain genuinely doesn't see this as a "waiting for second shoe to drop" the level of which I am so unfamiliar with existing in anything but a chronic trauma response state and the possibility that I might not be in a chronic trauma response state TERRIFIES me.

And Im really here going "Don't worry we still live in a dystopian capitalist society and life will still suck its okay" to ease my anxiety and good god

I fucking god PTSD man. Someone without PTSD aint like this man

-Riku

#alter: riku #vent #vent tw #feel free to reblog and discuss on this tho #im within my coping range but good god #there is this huge dissonance in what I think and know I should feel and what I do feel #of course thankfully I also understand how this is and this is also “how I should feel” and so I am fine giving it space to air #but good god is it a weird conflict of logical and emotional brain #PTSD #C-PTSD #recovery #healing

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fitia · 2 years

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Naruto, obviously!

(I had to rewrite the entire answer bc it didn't send the first time, god)

Send me a fandom and I'll tell you:

the character i least understand

Anyone that isn't in my fave characters circle, so really any Naruto character aside from a select few. Like, if you asked me for example "what would Shikamaru think if Sasuke told him the truth about his massacred clan" I do not think I would be able to answer with confidence, lol

interactions i enjoyed the most

Any of the childhood flashback scenes, especially Itachi and Sasuke's! They were much happier back then, and watching them is so cute. I also like Hashirama and Madara's childhood flashback scenes and most lighthearted Team 7 filler episodes.

the character who scares me the most

Orochimaru, technically. If you'd asked me this when I was like 8 I'd answer the same way but a lot more earnest since he genuinely terrified me back then to the point where I was scared to watch any scenes with him in them. Nowadays I know he's objectively creepy and disgusting but I'm more fascinated with it than terrified.

the character who is mostly like me

I guess Sakura. We were all 12 y/os with one-sided crush once, right?

hottest looks character

Objectively it'd be Sasori and/or Konan. In my heart, tho? Madara.

one thing i dislike about my fave character

I don't really "dislike" anything about Sasuke, honestly. I also don't trust what anyone says about him aside from myself and mutuals I trust. I do recognize he has flaws but I don't really dislike them as in they frustrate me or make me mad, they just make him feel like a more human character.

And I gotta talk about Madara here too because he is by all means also my favourite character now and so: I really find his nihilistic speech really annoying and it's less to do with the quotes themselves than with people taking them seriously. As in treating them like profound, philosophical observations meanwhile I think that he's not technically saying anything that wouldn't make sense from his point of view (or even really incorrect objectively) but he's not really saying anything new or worth marvelling at so I just find it annoying, personally, lmao.

one thing i like about my hated character

Why do I need to say anything nice about Hiruzen, the manga does it for me

a quote or scene that haunts me

I think every time Kishimoto uses symbolism instead of dialogue. I like the stone-skipping motif he used for Hashirama and Madara and literally Sasori's entire character and backstory.

a death that left me indifferent

Asuma. Look, I do not care much for most characters in that arc (except Ino, who along with Chouji take the backseat to Shikamaru in it and like I get it he's the main character in that arc but fucking Naruto got more shine than either of them and he wasn't even supposed to be the main focus there!!!! Come on!!!!!!!!)

I said Jiraiya when I typed this out the first time but I'll be entirely honest with myself his death and monologue while he was dying squeezed at my heart a little... It's fuck Jiraiya, always but... his death was done really well what can I say 😭

a character i wish died but didn’t

Why are the Elders still alive in Boruto like aside from being complicit in egregious crimes, what purpose do they serve

my ship that never sailed

I don't care about any of the canon ships so none of them, lol. I do not remember the last time I read anything and cared about a couple being endgame.

#irishgodfucker #Ask #thanks we should always talk more about Naruto. no one talks about Naruto these days except everyone but seriously no one does

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joeeatsdvds · 2 years

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last night (09.09.22) i took a trip to the cinema with a group of my friends to see the newly released film: ‘Bodies Bodies Bodies’ which was directed by Halina Reijn and a screenplay by Sarah DeLappe.

these are my honest opinions about the film so spoilers ahead, obviously.

my view on the film as a whole was that it was an enjoyable film that made me laugh at a few times which is fitting because it’s a comedy thriller/horror. the film didn’t scare me as much as it just made me uncomfortable at parts such as when the characters just started making out during the film. the only part of the film where i feared for my life was when Lee Pace’s character Greg started howling like a wolf and lounging and chasing a group of terrified blood soaked woman.

now time to get into the actual film. i didn’t enjoy that the film opened with two of the main characters mid make out session, i felt it was unnecessary and just flat out made me uncomfortable. it felt like something i wasn’t supposed to be seeing. you don’t walk into a showing of what you believe to be a horror/thriller and then it opens with two people making out.

prior to seeing the film i had looked on the film’s tv tropes page and i had seen that the film had the trope of “accidental suicide” and also the trope of “anyone can die” so i knew slightly what i was in for without actually spoiling the film for myself.

i had a sneaking suspicion that David would be the first to die out of the group (and if it hadn’t have been him my second guess would’ve been Greg who did in fact die next) however i didn’t expect his death to be the accidental suicide that i saw listed in the tropes. during the scuffle between the girls to get the gun from Jordan i thought that Alice was the one to accidentally fire it and accidentally shoot herself, that however wasn’t the case as it was Jordan who fired the gun accident or not. even though david was the one who fit the trope i thought that he’d have died to an accidental overdose for his cocaine addiction and not a slit throat. it’s kind of ironic that the whole reason the plot of the film happened was because of a tik tok though.

i really do enjoy the trope anyone can die trope because like the name says anybody could be next nobody is off limits. it leaves you on edge the whole time you watch it and i just enjoy that as it keeps things fresh. unsurprisingly however both Bee and Sophie end up surviving until the very end of the film.

i found it nice that there wasn’t one psycho killer that was out to get the group and instead it was their own actions and fear that lead them to their own downfall. it’s an interesting concept that i think the film did a good job pulling off. i do wish that some of the deaths were less glamours and more realistic, specifically Jordan and Greg, as they should’ve looked way more messed up than what they actually did as it’s hard to maintain good looks after falling a few stories onto the hard solid ground. they should’ve done something more like Emma’s death which is portrayed as a bloody mess all down the staircase and walls with her face smashed in from the impact. it’s understandable why they didn’t do this for all the deaths though as this probably would’ve made them have to move the rating to an 18 instead of a 15.

i didn’t really like the songs they chose to use throughout the film. it’s probably just because i don’t like that style of music but i just didn’t really connect with it though i didn’t bother me too much. however i did enjoy the little repeated theme they had throughout the film that would crop up in some of the more suspenseful scenes.

as for characters Alice was probably my favourite of them all. all of the characters had very noticeable flaws but those are important because those flaws are what ended up getting them killed in the end.

i do wonder if Bee or Sophie faced any consequences after the events of the film for their actions because both of them did kill people.

overall i’d rate the film ★★★★/5

even if they didn’t have the scenes that made me uncomfortable i don’t think i would rate it any higher. i’d gladly accept this film into my dvd collection when it comes out though.

#joe soup reviews #bodies bodies bodies #my first actual film review wow!

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jesseevelann · 2 years

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For the 100 question game: 22, 49, 72, 86, please :)

22. Do you want children? Why or why not?

It's a mixed response. On one hand, I enjoy the concept of starting a family with someone. I want to share the love that was given to me by my family. But I can't handle children. I can't handle loud, I can't handle dirty, I can't handle any of the basic necessities of having kids. I've loved the idea of having a little boy named Charlie, but I'm struggling to make it to next year. I'm in no way built to have a child, I'm not fit for that type of job. On the other hand, childbirth terrifies me. Miscarriage is common in my family. I've seen my sister struggle through it. I can joke, and try to hide it, but it scares me shitless. Birth difficulties, the baby coming out the wrong way or with complications, losing the baby afterwards. Losing the life of a partner, losing my own life. Anxiety? Overthinking? Being a baby? Maybe so, but if I can't survive in this hell, then I won't pass that on to other generation.

49. Do you have a nickname, where did it come from? Did you choose it, did someone else, did it naturally form?

I have many nicknames, none of which I have chosen except one. Most are from my dad and siblings, and they all have a basic theme.

Jessman

Des

Desmond

Pigzy

Mr. Pig

Pigzyman

Jessie

Jessica

Notice the masculine lean? Kinda makes you wonder why I question my gender, huh—

The last two are common nicknames for Jess. Or, well, Jess is typically the nickname for them. But I'm rather boring, and I was given the simple version (Jessica was already taken. Yippee!) I hated being called anything other than Jess for a long time, but in my family I learned that you don't always get what you want. You get this thag you don't want, I know that much. I despise my name so much, especially with people with similar or the same name. I'm never the Jess that they want, though. Never ever.

Jessman came from my brother, it's basic and simple, it's just "man" added to the end. In turn, I'd call him Travman, and I have my father's contact as Dadman. Pigzyman also followed this law.

Pigzy came from some movie my dad watched. Never saw it, never will. It was probably a dig at how much I ate back then, which was a lot. My sister shortened it to Pig, because it stuck. Much to my displeasure.

Des came from my niece, who wasn't quite able to pronounce Jess. Desmond followed through, because femininity is a sin, another addition from my father.

The only nickname I really chose for myself would have been God. Completely a joke, as I'm a non believer of... any god. My second I chose would have been Jesse. It's just Jessie without the I.

I'm not interesting.

72. Who did you last say "I love you" to? Who last said it to you?

My mother, answer to both. Almost two hours ago over text. We were discussing our lack of sleep.

Me, 10:05AM: It's shit. love you

Mum, 10:18AM: Love you to

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Naruto, obviously. Literally have and will do it again. Discussing anything about it. Likes, dislikes, couples, characters. All of it. It's why I started this blog, to discuss it. Made the ask blog. I love to talk, I love to discuss and share my opinions. I fixate, or I suppose it's a hyper fixation, on things. And Naruto is my current thing.

*laughs in has had friendships drift because of my fixation on Naruto and I struggled to produce other thoughts and I'm very specific about my likes and how characters play in my head and personal about my opinions*

Honestly, to the 5 or so people that let me talk without making me feel like garbage for doing so... you deserve a reward.

#jesse answers #100 asks #sorry about the first one lol #and the second #naruto

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capybaraonabicycle · 5 months

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10, 15, and 18 for the ask game!

Thank you so much, love!

10. Have you tried anything new this year? Any new art forms perhaps?

Hmm, building a TARDIS was kinda new but I worked with paper, scissors and glue which I am familiar with. I very recently did a macrame workshop, too. I had done a little bit of jewellery knotting before, but never produced anything as professional looking. And I loved doing that! So relaxing and fun :) (until I realised I was running short of time to catch my bus 😅.)

I made a necklace :)

[ID: photo of a pendant necklace made from strings with macrame technique. The strings are blue and the pendant is a stone wrapped in string . end ID]

15. Have you created any new OCs this year? Care to introduce us?

No one new, no, I don't think so. But I have fleshed out some old ones a little more, so maybe let's talk about Linnea?

She was very much only a vague concept before this year and now she has a name and there is art! :)

This is her:

[ID: drawing of a white middle-aged woman with reddish hair and a green sweater. She is hugging herself and holding a pencil. end ID]

She's a very clever scaredy cat <3 Does not like to leave her little town and little life and prefers not to take chances. But has a fascination with Iceland, so she speaks fluent Icelandic. And then her sister buys the two of them a cruise to Iceland and since that's done now and was expensive, she has to go. And she is terrified but come on, it's a cruise, limited amount of space and people, what can go wrong?

And then obviously there's aliens and the Doctor shows up and she is thrown exactly into the type of situation she never ever ever wanted to be part of. But she survives and impresses the Doctor and gets offered a trip in the box. And obviously declines.

But the Doctor keeps showing up in her life and while she hates every instance of it, they become friends. So then she's one of their contacts on Earth and they show up for tea every once in a while. She definitely meets Yaz at least once :)

I don't know. I liked the idea of someone who is predestined for a companion - smart, curious, kind - but would hate travelling with the Doctor. To have the Doctor do their usual 'don't you want to see all of time and space' and go 'no, thanks, love, you do you though'. And she's terrified of all the scary Doctor things because I'm very scared of many things so I can relate. She's a little bit like I imagine I would become if I didn't force myself out there all the time and then turned like 40-something. (Just that I would never go on a cruise.)

Maybe a little bit like how Dan left the TARDIS in the end - even though he is a very different person to start with. I really liked that reasoning for his exit, it felt so natural and rational. I like to think more people would decide like him. Just 'this is awesome, but I can't really enjoy being threatened for my life the whole time, you know?'

18. Can you pick a line/image fragment/etc of your work that encapsulates the last year best for you?

I'll give you both a line and an image because this is my game and I make the rules :)

I'm going with this line:

There was still some time to be the Doctor and Mels Zucker, and she would be damned if she didn’t make the most of it.

From Forget Me Not (Or: Stealing a TARDIS and Running Away)

The writing this year was all about Mels, definitely. I may have given up on the year of the otp challenge, but I have continued writing fic for her - a lkh rewrite is in the works and while she isn't actually in the cat fic, her body shows up there at least (and like, obviously, River is in the fic. Who is the same person but you know what I mean, she's not really Mels anymore). And like always, I wrote a lot of happy-sad Doctorriver, so I think the line fits perfectly.

Plus personal developments this year - well. I wish I was as strong as her but I am quite happy I don't have the same burden to carry either

And then the image fragment has to be this:

[ID: closeup of the lower part of the TARDIS in flight. She resembles the 13th Doctor's model. The background are blue-violet watercolours. end ID]

I have drawn, painted and built the TARDIS at least 4 times last year, plus doodling her countless times on the rims of my exercise books. She is the easiest and most satisfying character to draw in all of dw, what can I say - also I love her and I made a lot of propaganda for the doctorTARDIS ship for @drwho-shipbracket 's tournament which included lots of TARDIS art and fic :D (and that was so much fun!! Thank you again for hosting @drwho-shipbracket!)

#thank you for the ask!#ask game #Will send you an ask back in a sec :)

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