#like...its so clear that you dont see trans men as full men. even if you want to you still subconsciously see us as something else

[nachosforfree]

i'm exhausted

#i even see other trans men do this...cmon #em draws shit #art #doodle #emmit #vent #like...its so clear that you dont see trans men as full men. even if you want to you still subconsciously see us as something else #deconstruct your subconscious transphobia or else

[gayhenrycreel]

#ftm is a fetish tag

disclaimer, i am a trans man

#ftm is a fetish tag. i dont know if its always been like this but it is a problem.

i can hardly find any transmascs in that tag.

there are cis women misgendering trans men as a kink, and talking about our bodies like sex dolls everywhere in that tag. its mostly cishet women using OUR tag to objectify our bodies because they are too afraid to consider that they might not be straight. it is at least half detransition kink. im very uncomfortable with cis people doing this, but if they want to i wont stop them.

but this is in OUR TAG. this is horrible. they write disgusting smut about women who are short twinks with soft tits and dripping cunts and no dysphoria at all.

they just call them trans men.

ive seen other transmascs complain about this too.

these fics are written by and for cis women. they are chasers. the way they talk about our bodies is revolting. they know nothing about trans men at all.

i know that not all trans men feel dysphoric about their bodies, but these women are still treating us like a fetish that only occurs in fiction, rather than people who have emotions and often want to have a flat chest and/or a penis.

in particular they fetishize gay trans men. all these fics are about femboys who are horrified by the concept of transitioning getting fucked by bears. the people writing this view transitioning as mutilation. its very obvious.

ive noticed that this occasionally extends to fetishizing cis men with gynecomastia. its clear they want to fuck women but think lesbians are disgusting, so they call the women in their fics men, but misgender them throughout the text.

i hardly see any representation for trans men who even want to transition. newsflash: a lot of us do want to transition. many of us have already had surgery.

if you genuinely do want to write smut with GOOD portrayal of trans men, heres some tips on what we want in our representation:

trans men who dont want to transition deserve rep too, but many of us are entirely uncomfortable with our bodies. very few of us want any attention given to the parts we are born with. a lot of pre op trans men wear a binder during sex. we're not all bottoms, and some of us wear strap ons.

when we're on testosterone, it causes vaginal atrophy, similar to menopause. it gets very dry down there and easily irritated. this means that vaginal sex can be very painful and could even damage tissues. even without T, vaginal penetration is usually no where near as fun as it is for cis women. anything being in there is awful and sometimes painful.

anal sex is a thing. its not gross. its perfectly normal. it just requires some lubricant, and for a trans man, is a lot more comfortable than vaginal sex.

shockingly, most of us do not want to be called girls.

dont misgender a trans person in a sex scene. at all. some of us like to be called good boys during sex. stop calling us girls.

some of us have had surgery. it is NOT mutilation. it is life saving. top surgery is one that we get most frequently. the results do look just like a cis mans chest. there are long thin scars under the pecs, but these fade after a few years. they may not even be visible. bottom surgery exists too.

metoidioplasty creates a micropenis out of the clitoris. it does look real. it looks like a regular micropenis. it has full sensation.

phalloplasty uses a flap of skin, usually from the forearm, and turns it into a penis. this surgery is more complex and is done in multiple stages. after it is complete, it looks like a circumcised penis. its size is dependent on the flap of skin used to make it, so it can actually be larger than average. (on r/phallo someone even got a reduction surgery because his dick was 7 inches long). the area the skin flap was taken from has pretty big scarring. it looks like the result of a severe burn. it is sometimes covered by a tatoo. there is a lot of misinformation about phalloplasty. it is a big surgery, but it is no where near as dangerous as the internet would have you believe. after it has fully healed it does look real, and a genital nerve is usually hooked up to the penis. it can take a while to heal (years), but after a few months sensation begins to return as the nerves heal. the clitoris is often buried in the base of the penis, and if a genital nerve hook up is done the penis can have full sensation, including the tip. not everyone gets full sensation, and it can take years for sensation to fully return, but 93% of men who get phalloplasty are satisfied with the results. that is a lot. it is quite rare that sensation is fully lost, so yes, you can orgasm after phalloplasty. one thing to note is that a phalloplasty penis cant get hard on its own. there are two types of implant for erections. one is a rod inside the penis, which can last over 20 years before needing a replacement. the rod is flexible, so can be positioned as an erection. the other implant is a internal pump that is more complicated than the rod, and needs to be replaced roughly every 15 years. it is filled with water and sits inside the penis. to get an erection, you squeeze one of the testicles, which is a pump implant, pushing the water into the penis, causing an erection.

most importantly, we are men. we can be feminine. we can be masculine. we can look exactly like cis men. dont forget that we are people, we are real. we are not some sex fantasy.

#ftm #trans #transexual #transgender #surgery #top surgery #metoidioplasty #phalloplasty #fanfic #mlm #t4t #detrans #queer

[biggayarsonsbiggaytumble]

very cool that u seem to think women oppress men. misandry isnt real and youre 2 steps away from becoming a full on terf btw

lol i see why ur on anon because this is one of the dumbest asks ive ever received

so first of all you very clearly dont know what a terf is, you can't just call someone a terf because you disagree with them. I'm TRANS. i never said women oppress men and i dont believe they do anyways. (my actual opinion on that is a little more nuanced but im not getting into that right now with this schmuck) yknow because I used to be one of those?

doubly so because usually terfs are the ones who say misandry isnt real so if i supposedly think its real... how am I a terf? sounds like its YOU that's way closer to it than i am.

look up lateral violence, that might clear up some things for you. trans men experience different kinds of oppression and transphobia than trans women do, and that isn't misogynistic, transphobic, or transmisogynistic to say, that's just a fact. it's a little bit sad that not even trans women are by our goddamn side when terfs and transphobes already think we are both freaks.

also get off anon and stand by your words, i cant take you seriously like this, you coward

#transandrophobes never sleep #but neither do i #the nerve to call me a terf lmaooo #ive done way too much healing to be called a terf and have that bother me honestly #like thats not at all what that word means #and its so telling that you're so okay approaching a trans man in this manner!! #like the fact that you've just come at me to accuse me of a bunch of unsubstantiated bullshit because you have a disagreement with me #oh you know what will shut him up to stop talking about his oppression in a way that makes me personally uncomfortable #because i dont understand it myself?! #call him a terf! because terfs dont have a history of demonizing trans men in general and either writing them off as MRA's #or telling them they're confused or traitors going to the other side #the EVIL SIDE #ur bioessentialism is showing #it's ugly you should put that thing away

[cleaverqueer]

if men cannot be an oppressor class, then white cannot be an oppressor class, which is stupid to say. just because sub groups within a class have struggles from being trans or poor or disable... doesn't make them part of an oppressor class. patriarchy is built by and for males, as a class, in every society no matter their personal issues.

I'm glad you sent this so I could clear it up for you, instead of harrassment, to me or any other trans men, so thanks I guess.

People are oppressed for being minorities and privileged for being majority, that doesnt automatically make you an oppressor for being born a man or white or cis; although they are generally more susceptible to misogyny or racism or transphobia, its taught, and impressed upon to different levels depending on how bigoted your caregivers are, and it can be unlearned.

You think I woke up one day, realized I was a man, and suddenly hated women???? Or that when I had a word for what I was (trans), it undid the years damage of transphobic society?

The human condition means people are born with every imaginable variance and combination of traits, and bigotry against people of one kind or another intersects to form unique experiences for indivuliduals. The oppression and hatred of trans men is called transandrophobia.

You are absolutely right, patriarchy is built for and by men, and

1 they dont consider us to be in the first place and we dont benefit from at all. Like at all. I cannot stress this enough, transphobic cis people dont consider us men, and cis men do not see is as equals unless we pass and even then, its upon the condition of staying in the closet and performing masculinity to their standards. (This is an example of transandrophobia)

2 men also suffer from the patriarchy. Toxic masculinity forced upon us, thought to be sexually predatory and full of rage by default, and being treating like less of a man for not wanting that.

Which brings me to my last point; if men cant be oppressed for being trans, would you tell a gay man hes not oppressed? Would you tell a homeless man hes not oppressed? What about a black man? Or an autistic man? One might even ask why you're so against the thought of trans mens suffering being recognized, finally. One priviledge doesnt cancel out oppression on a different axis, and your opinions do not affect the years of transandrophobia I've experienced and finally have a word for.

Tl:dr

Transphobia directed at trans men and trans mascs is called transandrophobia. Cope.

#this is coming from a disabled white tranny fag so take it with a grain of salt abt oppression over all #but transandrophobia exists ive seen it #transandrophobia #transgender #discourse #and ofc my favorite word <3 #tranny

[a-dragons-journal]

i dont "kin for fun" but through tiktok i found out about the whole kin for fun vs actual otherkin... situation ig? im having a really hard time taking it seriously... maybe im just burnt out and bitter from dealing with the worlds current events, and maybe its because on tiktok the only people i saw mad about it were white people, but you're the most reasonable person ive seen talking about it (a lot of other posts have this odd tone that 12 year olds on tiktok saying kin is the worlds greatest opression and it weirds me out) so ig my question is just... why exactly does this matter? why does it matter enough to post about and care about and not just ignore? /gen

Hey! I don’t blame you for being a bit weirded out by it, we’re a weird subculture and we’re well aware of it! xD I appreciate you taking the time to actually look into it past your first knee-jerk reaction, especially considering burnout and the state of things.

I’m not totally sure if you’re asking why otherkinity matters or why the “kin for fun” being wrong matters, so I’ll answer both - they’re pretty well tied together anyway.

The short version:

Otherkinity is an identity. It’s who we are, we can’t choose to pick it up or put it down, and it comes with struggles - though no, ‘kin are not systematically oppressed (though we are pretty badly bullied and, at this point, pushed out of our own words and spaces).

What people calling roleplay/relating to/projecting onto characters “kinning for fun” does is steal our words, make them meaningless, and in doing so, make it difficult or impossible for us to find each other. If someone says “I kin [x],” I no longer know whether they mean “I am [x] on an intrinsic level” or “haha I relate to this character a lot”. I no longer know whether they actually share my experiences or if they’re going to turn on me and call me “crazy” as soon as they realize I’m not exaggerating or joking or roleplaying. It’s done massive harm to the community as a whole because it’s become difficult to tell whether someone is actually ‘kin or if they’ve misunderstood the whole thing - and because antikin rhetoric, which I’m seeing more and more in KFF spaces, hurts far more when it’s coming from inside what you thought was a community space than when it’s coming from self-labeled “antikin.”

There are other words for roleplaying and relating to and projecting onto characters. Hell, there are words for strongly identifying with-but-not-as characters/things, though usually KFF people don’t even seem serious enough for those to fit in my experience. I’m really not sure why these people are so determined to steal and misuse our words, words that were specifically created to mean something else, when they already have their own and are just refusing to use them. (Or, hell, if you don’t feel like those fit, make your own. We did. It’s your turn to put in the work. (General you, not you-the-anon, of course.))

An analogy, if that still doesn’t quite land for you:

Consider, for a moment, the transgender community. I am aware this is a dangerous thing to say, but bear with me. Obvious CW for hypothetical transphobia up ahead is obvious.

Consider if you were part of the trans community (I don’t know if you are or not), having finally found a word to explain why you feel the way you do about yourself, why your experiences don’t seem to match up with those of everyone else around you. Having found a community, a home, full of other people like you, people you never would have met if not for words like “transgender” and “gender dysphoria/euphoria” that were created specifically to describe your experiences.

Now consider if people suddenly stumbled across your community for the first time who were not trans themselves. They see community jokes and lighthearted posts out of context, because Tumblr and Twitter aren’t exactly conducive to making sure people find the Transgender 101 information posts first. They don’t bother to do further research, assuming they understand: ah, these people like to crossdress! They like to pretend they’re a different gender! This seems like a fun hobby, I want in!

They begin to post things like this. They post photos of them crossdressing and caption them “hi, I’m [name], and I trans men!” and things of the like. Suddenly the concept of “transing for fun” seems to be everywhere - and it’s not at all what being trans actually is, but these people either don’t know or don’t care. When actual trans people try to politely correct them, they’re accused of “gatekeeping” - and to be clear, this is not “nonbinary people aren’t real,” it’s “transgender means you identify as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth, and you’re self-identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% and telling us this is just a fun hobby for you, therefore you’re not trans, you’re crossdressing or doing drag or being GNC. That’s fine, but it’s not being trans - you have other words to describe that, use those.”

(Yes, I am aware these things have a history with the trans community - please just ignore that for the sake of the analogy and bear with me on the slightly simplified version of this. “Kinning for fun” does not have that same history with the otherkin community.)

...And then the response to those attempted corrections, in some corners, turns into “wait, you ACTUALLY think you’re another gender? idk that sounds pretty unhealthy, maybe you should see a psychologist or something :\” and “you’re taking this too seriously.”

I imagine, in this hypothetical scenario, you’d also be pretty fuckin peeved.

(Obviously, in this hypothetical scenario, systematic transphobia would be an issue as well, which isn’t the case for otherkin - again, you’re gonna have to bear with me on the simplification for sake of analogy there.)

(EDIT: this is not an anti-MOGAI/exclusionist argument, this is “you’re literally telling me you don’t fit the definition,” explanation on that here)

The long version, which is probably still worth reading if you have the time and energy:

Otherkinity is... pretty core to who I am, who we as a group of individuals are. We live with being otherkin on a daily basis. Many of us spent a long time feeling different and disconnected and not understanding why until we found the otherkin community. Even people like me, who don’t share that experience and still had social connection - I’ve still had to live with weird differences that I had to learn to mask when necessary; instincts that don’t line up with human society well, feeling body parts that weren’t there and that no one else ever seemed to have, things that other kids grew out of because it was just make-believe for them and I... didn’t, because it was never make-believe for me to begin with. Oh, sure, I played make-believe too - I played warrior cats and house and all those things with the other kids, but there were things that weren’t play-pretend for me too. I didn’t have an explanation for it for a long time - it was just how I was, I was weird, and fortunately for me personally I was okay with that (many of those with species dysphoria or more trouble connecting with humans have more problems from that than I did).

And then I found the word “otherkin.” And suddenly everything fell into place, and I had an explanation for the things I’d been experiencing, and there were other people like me. Something I’d assumed didn’t exist. I found others who shared my unique experiences, who were talking about how to cope with the instinct to growl or snap jaws at people instead of expressing annoyance in a human way instead of just saying “that’s weird, don’t do that”, who were talking about dealing with phantom wings and tails, who understood me. I wasn’t weird, I wasn’t broken, I was exactly what one would expect from a dragon living in human skin. I found an explanation for myself. I found a home.

That is why otherkinity matters - it is who we are, it’s not something we can walk away from (certainly not most of us, anyway), and it’s something many of us need the support of the community to help deal with on a daily basis. Being a nonhuman in human society isn’t always easy, but it’s not something we can just magically stop being - it’s core to who we are, we (generally) didn’t choose to be this way, and we (generally) can’t choose to stop. Which is fine - the vast majority of us can cope with it just fine, with a little advice and help and space to be our authentic selves in. We found each other, we built this community from the ground up to make a space and words to make finding each other easier - or possible at all.

Thus we come to the second half of our story.

It was only a couple of years ago that the “kin for fun” trend started getting big. It had existed before that, of course, but it only started going mainstream two, maybe three years ago, from what I can tell. Suddenly people were treating “kin” like it meant relating to, projecting onto, roleplaying as, or just really really liking a character or thing - not being that thing, which is what it actually means. Not long after that, it became hard to tell whether someone saying “I kin this” meant they were that thing, that they were actually part of our community - or that they really really liked that thing and either didn’t know or couldn’t be bothered to learn that that wasn’t the case for us.

Not long after that, it became relatively commonplace to hear phrases like “otherkin are ruining kinning!!” and “you’re taking this too seriously” and “idk, if it’s that serious for you that sounds unhealthy. maybe you should get some help :\” (all directly quoted, or as exactly quoted as I can remember, from things KFF people have said to me or people I know).

It is a special kind of hell, I think, to be told “you’re taking this too seriously, that’s unhealthy” by people who are taking words created to describe your experiences, not theirs, and misusing them to mean something that you do for fun on a weekend instead of something that’s intrinsic to your being.

Perhaps more importantly, like I’ve said, it’s making it almost impossible to know whether someone who says “I kin [x]” is actually ‘kin or if they’re misusing our words to mean something else entirely. The entire point of words is to communicate ideas, and once you start misusing words to mean something totally different than what they actually mean, that communication falls apart and suddenly we might as well not have those words at all. Especially when the community is small enough and obscure enough that we’re starting to be outnumbered by the misinformation. We’re being run out of our own words, words we created to describe our experiences specifically - because we’re a small community that the wider internet can easily drown out by sheer numbers of people who either don’t know any better or don’t care to learn.

That’s the harm it does - the harm it is doing, right now. That’s why it’s important enough to post about. That’s why it matters - because we’re fighting desperately to hang onto our own words so that others like us can actually find us. Because we’re seeing young nonhumans go “this isn’t a kin, I actually am this” and screaming “No, I’m so sorry that this is what the misinformation has done to you, that’s exactly what otherkin means, you have a place here, please don’t let these non-’kin misusing our words drive you away from the very community you’re looking for and that you belong in.” Because we can’t even communicate effectively about our own experiences anymore except in semi-closed spaces like Discord servers and forums (and the number of Discord servers overrun with KFF people is absurd).

......This got very long. Hopefully it at least explained why it matters so much to me and others a bit better ^^; Thanks for hearing me out, and thank you again for looking into this beyond your initial knee-jerk reaction - I really do appreciate it.

(For further reading, if that text wall didn’t blow you out of the water completely, I recommend my “kin for fun” tag, which has more posts like this in both short and long form.)

#probably should've put this under a cut but oh well #otherkin #kin for fun #kinnie #kinning #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous #rani talks A LOT apparently sbfldkngjlksdf #i have a lot of feelings on this #long post

[izzyliker]

hey - this is one of the mods of the bi jon project. we don't actually dislike or disagree with pan jon at all, we just want to make a project focused on and celebrating bisexuality. our carrd is a bit rambling, but frankly we were trying our best/overcompensating to try and make sure people didn't misunderstand us and do - well, this. our intentions are good, and it's really kind of disenheartening to see all the hate we've gotten for what was meant to be a positive project. (1)

you're under no obligation to answer these, but i saw some of your posts in the tag and felt like reaching out because you did give us even the tiniest bit of slack in good faith. honestly, if you have any advice about what in our carrd is so overwhelmingly bad, we'd be happy to hear it. we've been trying to respond to the overwhelming amount of criticism we've got in a positive way, and take peoples' suggestions. (2)

as for why 'no anti-antis' was at the bottom of our rules list, it's legitimately bc we were trying so hard to be preventative about this negativity that we forgot to add it when we first posted the blog, and just remembered later. again, you're under no obligation to answer these, i just feel like no one's really actually letting us defend ourselves/are taking things in as bad faith a way as possible. (3)

im not exactly sure how the posts showed up in the tag bc ive been very purposefully not tagging them, also ive blocked all of you back (not sure why you blocked me if you actually want feedback, so it seems more like you just want free positive pr and not actual feedback) so its unlikely youll see whatever it is that i reply to this but whatever. 

the issues have all been repeatedly brought up to you so i dont really see how me repeating all of them once again could help. when i last looked at the cardd the things that stood out immediately included. 

pitting ace & bi identities and people against each other REPEATEDLY,  

starting off with a guilt trippy tone and maintaining it throughout (in my experience this is the #1 best way to receive backlash because people do not want to participate in events where you feel like youre being guilted into it, which going into scrutinizing detail over there not being enough content and passing judgement onto authors or artists over it is something that comes across as guilt trippy.),

repeatedly equating asexuality with sex repulsion (not to get into the misleading information about modteam aspec identity breakdowns, since you claimed that 3/4 of the team are aspec, which is technically correct, but what you didnt say was that only one is acespec. surely you know that [allosexual] aro and [alloromantic] ace are not interchangeable) and calling using biromantic over bisexual a “misunderstanding” of the identity as if how to define romantic vs sexual attraction (how to divide, if or if not to divide, use interchangeably different labels) isnt a deeply personal choice ace people who experience romantic attraction make, 

claiming that bisexual jon is canon (he isn’t. this is why people are suspicious of anti-other mspec identities sentiments. which theyre right, if youll be so kind as to stick around til the last paragraph) and repeatedly implying that the reason there isnt “enough” content centering bi jon because the aces are simply unable to not fixate on his asexuality (again, pitting identities against each other),

making the banned ship list way needlessly confusing and including ships that dont even include jon to it, which simply comes across as some kind of a list of bad ships, idk. a way to bypass this would simply be to say “we are looking for portrayals of healthy relationships!” and that couldve just been it. if you felt that that wouldnt exclude specific ships (eg. jondaisy that a lot of people write as a relationship between trauma survivors who have done very bad things trying to get better and learning to trust each other) it is possible to simply say “the modteam is squicked[/triggered] by ships with daisy/elias/peter and we’d like to read all of the works submitted so we’re asking not to receive submissions with those ships.” hating ships is literally completely normal but making rules hard to parse is going to attract questions, especially when the implication is that ships are excluded on the grounds of morality, and a blatant power difference ship (jonelias) is equated with jondaisy, which is from what ive seen almost exclusively shown to be a relationship between equals. that makes people EXTREMELY confused about where the line is. thats why youre getting so many questions about this.  

in general the carrd was spotty, guilt trippy, and needlessly moralizing where it definitely did not need to be. the key to getting people to engage without getting backlash is to make the event seem fun. when your carrd is filled with stuff about unrelated negative stuff people are not going to think it’s a fun event at all. 

and none of this even gets into the fact that at least one of the mods has a history of open hostility against pan people. i heard through the grapevine that he has since made a fauxpology about it, but frankly it already shone through in the language used in the event descriptions. its extremely hard to take any of this is good faith when it is easy to see that one of the organizers is quite fucking clear about thinking pansexuality is biphobic and the carrd is or at least used to be full of anti-pan (and other mspec identity) dogwhistles, and is notorious in some of the tma fic author circles for being extremely fucking nasty about trans men writing fic he doesn’t like to the point of pretending that we’re all cis people (in case youre not keeping track that is misgendering us by implication) because he doesn’t like it. i think some of you (or maybe all of you? idk) in general could stand to examine whether your engagements and participations in the fandom have been at all about having fun or adding positivity to anything, or simply making posts about what other people are doing wrong. it seems that every post i see from anyone in this group is guilt trippy and authoritative, and sadly this translated directly into the event. 

when youre, say, a trans man whose first touch to one of the mods was a post about how fic where trans men have piv sex with cis men is hurting him personally and making it a moral issue and not a matter of a simple preference to the point where he feels comfortable making claims about the trans men (and transmasc nonbinary people) writing fic about trans characters re: their gender or whether theyre fetishizing trans men, your willingness to engage in good faith with an event hosted by him that features numerous red flags is not going to be unconditional. 

im sorry to hear that it has been bad for your mental health, and idk whats fucking going on with this event anymore, but my good faith interpretations have diminished significantly since i saw the shit tmc specifically has been saying about pansexual people and pansexuality as an identity label. i have no clue where the rest of you stand but tmc has repeatedly, consistently shown himself to be unable to act in good faith towards anyone other than people who agree with him.  

#disk horse #long post #Anonymous

[some-jw-things]

if you dont mind explaining, what did the organisation do that it gives you such reaction? im not jw/exjw myself, im just following this blog because i wanna keep myself educated on all sorts of issues, but if you dont want to its absolutely fine

I mean Jehovahs Witnesses are blatantly a cult. That’s been explained pretty thoroughly by a lot of people.

I guess “this organization is a cult” can be hard to understand what that actually means. On a personal level, it defined my entire life. When I introduced myself to new people, the first thing I said was that I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was my entire identity. I actually think of myself back when I still believed in it as a completely different person than who I am now. I consider my old self to be dead, and so does my family.

When I told them I wanted to leave the cult, they mourned me. They cried for months. They raged and got angry. My sister refused to even look at me for days. In the span of one sentence, I lost my whole family, all of my friends, and my entire community. I was shunned, and they blamed me for abandoning them.

And I knew that would happen. They had always made it perfectly clear that love was conditional. I was told flat out— multiple times— that I would get kicked out of the house if I got disfellowshipped. My dad told me as a child that he would stop supporting me if I ever went to college, because every Witness he knows who’s ever gone has left the Truth. He also told me that the day I turned eighteen he would make me pay rent to keep living in his house unless I was preaching full time. All of that later turned out to be empty threats and a doctor told me that last part was actually illegal, but my family made sure I grew up believing it.

I was only loved so long as I followed the rules. This is standard practice for Jehovah’s Witnesses. I am lucky I got off as light as I did and wasn’t kicked out on the street. Even that only happened due to a technicality and how obviously mentally ill I was at that point.

Jehovah’s Witnesses’ theology is the reason I started self-harming. I was afab and when I was fifteen I spent a month asking why God thought women were innately lesser than men. That culminated in a big family discussion where I got anxious enough to start scratching at my lip over and over until I had a massive gash. My family watched. My mother made a token protest that I listened to for about three seconds. I walked away from that conversation with the knowledge that I needed to keep my mouth shut because certain questions were actually not allowed and a brand new bad habit.

I created an entire system for myself based on rigid discipline and punishment and the idea that any mistake meant I didn’t deserve to feel un-miserable, which is exactly the sort of mentality that this all-or-nothing religious purism breeds.

I was institutionalized in hospital psychiatric wards four times in the year after I left, and one more time about a year after that. The high school attempted to put me in foster care then, out of concern for my safety if I continued living in that environment. My mother supported the idea

The first time I remember sincerely contemplating suicide was when I was thirteen. My thoughts then were just that I figured I would never be able to hold off killing myself long enough to live to be eighteen. I felt trapped. I was specifically thinking I would never have the guts to be able to pry myself out of the Org and so I would be stuck in it forever. The JW lifestyle is miserable in a way I can’t express

I have comforted my little sister while she’s had a break down crying in the bathroom during meeting because the talk was about Armageddon and she didn’t think our dad would make it into Paradise. She had to stop attending public school because of panic attacks. She was suicidal too at one point, but our mom thought she wasn’t as bad as me and therefore was making it up for attention

Jehovah’s Witnesses by and large treat mental illness with prayer and talking to the elders. The majority of teenage girls in my congregation had severe unaddressed issues. The Society has whole articles on how sometimes the answer IS demonic possession. Their version of Paradise is a eugenics fantasy

At one point an elder comforted my family by telling them that Jehovah likely didn’t view my choice to leave as legitimate due to my mental issues. They have official articles calling all apostates “mentally diseased,” and how am I supposed to argue why that’s wrong?

The majority of Jehovah’s Witnesses’ teachings are bigoted and hateful. They have a cute little kids cartoon that compares the evil gays to terrorists. I was taught the mark of Cain and curse of Esau were responsible for the existence of other races. JW women are required to submit to their husbands and fathers no matter what, and divorce is a sin that will get you shunned. Trans people are forced to live as their agab, gay people have to remain celibate and never date. The elders reserve the right to out you to whoever they want, whenever they want.

There have been so many talks that have sent me running off somewhere private to cry and panic

There’s this little girl in the hall who was friends with my sister. She had needed a blood transfusion when she was a baby. Her parents had been willing to let her die, but the courts stepped in and took her away for a few days. She was given the blood transfusion, lived, and at thirteen had a crying breakdown in the middle of the hall because the talk had just said she would never make it into Paradise now. Usually though, if you’re old enough to speak for yourself, they let you die

My parents have had three bankruptcies and they mock me for saving money. They live as if the world is going to end at any moment. There’s no such thing as a future

The world has been about to end since my grandma was little. That’s a running joke. She’s lived through more changes to the Org than I’ll ever know about. My family has been ruthlessly controlled by this organization for generations. My family aren’t allowed to accept me even if they wanted to. I’ve seen this Org ruin so many people’s lives in a whole variety of ways. Three other kids I grew up with have been disfellowshipped since becoming adults. There are others who I don’t think could leave unless they literally ran away in secret

JW ideology loans itself to a certain style of parenting and that has consequences. They control every aspect of members’ lives. Behavior, dress, speech, career, free time, friends, which family you’re allowed to see, what media you can consume. The thoughts you are allowed to have. I’ve been sent into a spiraling panic before over the idea that “I shouldn’t be thinking that”

The Org barred outside ideas and all criticism. They forcibly kept me in the dark. Members are intentionally isolated from not just all outsiders, but also all outside opinions. I was raised in a way intended to make me an outcast everywhere but within the Org. I was told never to read about Jehovah’s Witnesses from any writer other than the Society itself. I was told never to listen to its critics. I was told that reading forbidden books would get me possessed by demons

The Society controlled and defined my entire life and somehow still manages to do so even after I’ve left. Every member I know has been hurt by it. I’m just the one who won’t forgive

#i feel like this doesnt explain anytthing but whatever #tw #suicide ideation #self harm #ask #ex jw #ex cult #apostate #ex jehovah’s witness #christianity #religion #exjw

[wormmomma]

tyler, the creator: the very queer discography review!!!

Im bored of writing overly long threads on twitter so i wrote a look at tyler the creators discography and why hes gay and im gay and deserved to have his dick immortalized in gold when he dies. So tyler gregory okanma is a black man born in ladera heights california. He’s also my third favorite rapper and since he discovered my favorite rapper earl sweatshirt I guess he deserves goat status for that shit too. Tyler started his career around 17 years old as the ace the creator. He did features at the time with casey veggies and the inspirations in his flow to mf doom where already apparent even back then. From ace the creator mixtape you can already hear the very digital and jazz inspired pharrell production. Funny story if you look up any of his ace stuff now you'll mostly find some really old production that in the age of tyler the creator type beats doesn't really hold u all that great. From there Tyler went on to create odd futures and his first album bastard. He quite quickly followed up bastard with godlin. Goblin, bastard, and the OF tape vol.1 all feel pretty interconnected so im gonna speed round from worst to best. So odd future tape volume one is fun and punk and really crass, it's also completely eclipsed by odd futures other releases. I love odd future and the collective's ability too be both edgy teen skate rap garbage, and a risky artistic rap collective all at the same time. In odd future's first tape it seems pretty clear that tylers description of the groups early work as a bunch of niggas joking around in a studio is very apparent for better or worse. If you wanna get high with some friends can listen to some funny edgy and downright grimey tracks over left brains booking production skip this and listen to odd future's next mixtape but come back here to listen to some funny skits and a few proto mellowhype track with domo genesis. Goblin is Tyler's attempt to do a bigger darker more sprawling version of bastard but misses the mark. I like the album and I love singles on the album. Goblin the opening track is amazing and is a great look at tylers mental state attempting to live up to his newfound fame and anxiety about his infamy. I love yonkers and tron cat. Tyler says alot at this time that he doesn't make horrorcore and he's correct but the lack of emotional honesty and his immature deflections is really going off on all cylinders. If you dont wanna hear skits like “my bitch suck dick” and lines like “im not homophobic faggot” i would probably call it his worst album. Before i talk about bastard id like to go over his use of slurs and rape in his work. Tylers consistent lyrics about violence towards women and use of the lgbtq community really don't insult me. I feel like his lyrical content is filled with a clear look of how angry and insecure tyler was about not having a father or any way of processing his angst. Did he have to sound like a incel threatening to stalk and murder women who refuse to love him for over 3 albums? No, but i really enjoy looking at his early music. He doesn't shy away from how angry, sad and desperate he was at the time. That synthesis of need for fatherly love, anger from a lack of it and deteriorating mental state honestly makes the content more palatable. Also as a black trans women id rather hear tranny an faggot bars from a male rapper making intreeating music. Tyler at the time was being honest, angry and vulnerable not like eminem and action bronson who spit these bars with all the same rap bravado and violent anger toward women with zero pathos. Bastard is amazing, it's an intimate dark album. At the time it felt like it was tapping right into where I was at the time. The amount of mental anguish on bastards opening track really hit me. I was an angry kid with a lot of angst and bipolar disease so hearing a rapper yell about that same dysfunction really meant alot to me. The flows are amazing and it was a really good look at tylers ability to build a narrative. Wolf was tyler's next album. For a while wolf was my favorite album by tyler. His look at relationships and breakups on bimmer and ifhy are amazing and are expanded on his future releases. Find your wings and treehome are also a good look at his more melodic influence. It was such a good album I actually bought the mrech for and went to see Tyler at afropunk. Also hearing an entire song about the death of his grandma really hit me, my grandfather died around the same time. Cherry bomb was bad, now moving one. Ok im  joking i've listened to it two or three times but its really not worth going back to even though tyler put his all into it. The soul features and amazing production is worth listening to but even Tyler admits he rushed the album a little and that he needed to blow people away next time. Flower boy, is one of the most important albums in hip hop. That's it. Bar none. It was my favorite release of 2018. Flower boy is about tylers newfound isolation with his fame, and how he drives cars by himself in beautiful la vistas. Its also about how he’s gay (or bisexual). There are ALOT of stupid takes on this album. There is a contingency of tyler stans that think tyler has been “playing a character” since bastard. Now I'll admit that wolf haley and dr.teecee are clearly characters; they are also artists' representations of tyler's mental state. If wolf haley has adhd and no father that means tyler also has those issues. So whether or not Tyler is playing a character he has in fact “been kissing white boys since 2004”. I also have seen an insipid article that asks if “tyler the creator should be accepted into the lgbtq community” due to his homophobia? Much more controversial and actually homophobic and transphobic people are in this community hes tyler the creator, not milo yinnaoplous. I also dont think that it occurs to the reviewer that alot of gay men are very hmophobic before they come out and that self hate is very common. Lyrics like “im not gay i just wanna dance to some marvin” also has a much deeper context now. Listening to older releases you can see how in your face tyler was about his queerness. He even said he filmed himself kissing his friend Lucas to prove he wasn't a homophobe. I'm happy Tyler grew enough to make an album not only about being attracted to men but how lonely he felt in and out of the closet. As someone who came out as bisexual at the time it came at a perfect time. Being  gay is isolating and confusing and when you do you lose alot of friends and family. Garden shed, who dat boy, and 911 are real standouts. His collaboration with kali uchis was also so fucking smooth and she a born r&b star. Tyler gained a grammy nomination off the album and said he loved the feeling of finally making popular catchy music people wanna sing the lyrics too, so he followed it with igor. Igor opens with this addendum on the back of the physical album: 

This might be fiction, this might be about igor but it is fully about tyler okanga. The album is very hard to parse and barely has any rapping. It's more of a pop experimental album with a lot of lofi synth production. Tylers production chops are full force here. Igor is melodic, sad and full of the same anger and obsession from his previous albums. Its just more mature and really gay, and i fucking love it. Tyler was dealing with a tumultuous relationship with a guy and his refusal to be with tyler exclusively. Its about a breakup. A love tragedy that only becomes more depressing after the argument on a boy is a gun, the breakup in my love is gone, and the sad slump back into needing closure in can we be friends. The album is fun to sing to, and fucking devestating. I've dealt with a lot of similar issues with love and obsession so to hear it so clearly illustrated on igor really hit me. I think the album becomes even more depressing with the unreleased track best interest, about tyler being a side nigga. This is the kind of music that's sometimes made in r&b and pop but never in rap. There was an interview where Tyler says he hated his voice which is why he edits it so evident on igor. Tyler also said he wanted to send these songs to rihanna and Justin Beiber but they didn't want them, as cool as it sounds. I'm happy tyler was able to tell his own story. I would also recommend magic wand since it's my favorite track on the album and kicks you in the face with how angry and heartbroken Tyler was at the time. 

Tyler is an artist that talks and speaks about how he feels all the time, he's also a person who feels enigmatic and mysterious somehow. I think it has to do with how constantly he's put to the side of his other hip hop contemporaries. He always seems to be making music Tom weird, controversial and experimental to be treated like asap rocky, vince staples, or the late mac miller. A fact that feels ironic since he worked with all of those artists, lil wayne, and even kanye west. I'm as big a stan for tyler as he is for Pharrell, if it wherent forever I'd never take rap seriously and would never have chosen to make my own music. As a black trans woman I find a lot of tylers work really relatable. I've been in alot of the angry hopeless situations Tyler talks about in his music. I think he's the artist who hits me the most on a personal level and yeah when i was depressed i sat in my bedroom and listened to bastard in my low moments. I like riding in the car and listening to all of flowerboy. Igor is amazing as well for almost half a decade it's been amazing growing up and hitting the same emotional beats Tyler went through5 in his work. Hearing about him coming out as gay ajd dealing with very similar backlash mad me feel less alone if im being honest. Tyler has said he wants to take a more production heavy role in the industry moving forward but he says that a lot, i think as long as he has a story to tell he's always going to make music. His music feels like a diary and I'm happy to read it and sonnet to it in all its beauty and ugliness. 

Hi my name is lua o'reilly i make music on soundcloud.com/wormmother

If you liked this review let me know and I'll do a look into earl sweatshirt.

#Tyler The Creator #wolf #bastard #rap #music #punk #reveiw #discography #queer art #queer #black art

[pavusdorian]

(1)Im actually kind of surprised to see your perspective on the gendered pronouns thing, bc Ive actually always seen the opposite where people will default to he/him pronouns/assume the protag is a man, and its also often men playing those characters. Which was always irritating to me bc it seemed like they were trying to edge out the female protag option or fans who might play as female. It makes me wonder if maybe some? of the posts u've seen might be players trying to shake that crowd up?

(2)or like, just be different, compared to how a lot of writing usually defaults to he/him pronouns anyway? idk just my thoughts. otherwise i do agree that i prefer neutral pronouns, for basically the same reason as you, just with opposite reasons lol

im actually glad people didn't read that post as me wanting to start a fight and were open to sharing their experiences instead lmao but do u mean here on tumblr? because outside of tumblr then yeah the gaming scene is full of dudebros who hate on female characters and anything remotely diverse. in this case im all for letting them know the female characters are appreciated and that we just dont want a copy/paste version of the male protagonist where it's clear he was the priority in the creation process.

but here on tumblr? inside fandom? idk how to explain lmao but i've seen the opposite? it's always making people feel bad for choosing the male protagonist and acting like they're lesser for liking them. and these people are not dudebros, they dont even hate on the female counterpart u know? they just feel more comfortable with the "male" character for whatever reason, or their shepard/hawke/whatever are gay/bi men and/or trans. u know what im saying? and it makes me question the reasons because this place is full of white feminists who think an empowering female character is the one throwing punches, who always ship the het version of a pairing. not to mention the terfs so yeah. i dont know how to make myself more clear lol that's why i started getting bothered and overthinking things. i could be wrong of course, im not claiming to be an expert on everything happening in the gaming fandom. it's just an opinion based on something i've seen throughout the years

and i don't rly have anything against people using specific pronouns when talking about their oc, especially when mentioning the gender is meaningful? like making sure we know ur male shep romanced garrus sounds different than making sure we know the hawke who romanced fenris in ur game is a white woman 🤷‍♀️

#eve answers #anonymous asks #i have nothing else to say lmao im not eloquent enough for these discussions

[yenneferw]

Can you please rant about jk Rowling she’s fucking awful with her queerbaiting, racism, and transphobia. Like I need someone else to validate me for not liking her

absolutely i hate her!!!!! this is a REALLY long post but she’s written so much and she’s been in the spotlight since her books got famous so like… there’s a lot to talk about i guess. anyway @ jk rowling get ready to be called out 

racism

first of all on this valid bitch of an i hate jk rowling post, the ilvermorny houses. it’s like…. Big cultural appropriation of native american ideas and stories, twisting them to fit her narrative for harry potter and completely disrespecting their history and origins. the history she creates for north american wizards is shit too, saying that native americans would “primitively” practice magic until europeans civilized them with wands (even tho…. it’s like really impressive to do magic without wands in her universe??? like sounds like the native americans were way ahead of europeans, but ofc she twists her own narrative to make the natives primitive). her whole history or north american wizardry also apparently just follows white wizards immigrating to north america and shit…… 

this video is……. a really good poem on the stereotypes and fetishization of cho chang and there’s no way i can reword what the speaker says bc she says it too good so,,, watch it

jk rowling is also really good at speaking out about racism when she wants to on twitter and yet all of her canonical poc characters in the books are background characters. i know hermione is black in the cursed child play, but that feels a bit like the dumbledore thing to me, like they never actually talk abotu it in the books? and if she wanted hermione to be black why didn’t she have any protests about emma watson being cast? if she wanted harry to be brown why didn’t she have any protests about daniel radcliffe being cast? i don’t know if she had any say in that, but i guess she had a say in insisting that the actors had to be british, so if she cared about making a main character poc, why did she not have any qualms about the cast, even in retrospect, even respectful ones like “i love daniel and emma to death but in retrospect i wrote them as characters of color”?

like she didn’t have to push dean and cho and the very small characters of color to the side but she did. she didn’t have to stereotype cho but she did. there are no poc in fbawtft, or there aren’t in the movie at least – and if she’s so happy about johnny depp and can speak out about that relentlessly, but she wanted there to be characters of color in fantastic beasts, why can’t she speak out about that? 

like the cultural appropriation is enough to see that she’s clearly a racist asshole who doesn’t care about the cultures of people who aren’t white, but it’s also clear to see in the background of her writing that she doesn’t care about research for shit if it’ll help to respect people of color in her stories, and she certainly doesn’t care to ensure that there are important characters of color for people to look up to when they read her books or watch the movies about them 

transphobia 

i guess she liked a terf’s article on twitter? like i dont’ knwo how reputable my sources on that were or if she meant to, but if she did, yikes

and from what i saw of the article it was Deep Terf Rhetoric, and tbqh i wouldn’t put it past her to have meant to have done that

i’ve seen ppl saying harry potter has transphobic aspects to it as well but i couldn’t find anything under all the times she’s “defended” trans ppl on twitter like idk i can’t take anythign she says on twitter by heart bc everything she does feels performative and fake af, and i haven’t read the books in like four years so i can’t say for sure based on my own memory 

also she wrote a trans woman in a more recent novel and she’s apparently totally impulsively violent like wow great way to conform to nasty stereotypes about trans women lmfao

like esp bc of this i wouldn’t put it past her to be a terf

homophobia & queerbaiting

saying! dumbledore! is gay! after! the fucking! book series! is not! representation!!!!!

even if she HAD make him gay during the series, he’s not good rep??? he was a manipulative asshole who let a child stay in an abusive home becuase he was too big of a dumbass to think about a way around the issue so that a little boy could live in a home full of people who treated him fairly. so uhh?? the cishets can fucking have him, i don’t WANT him in the goddamn community. 

but she thinks that she’s not homophobic bc he’s the only gay character who never even got to talk about being gay, who we never see in a relationship with a man. like throwing gay ppl scraps isn’t?? rep??? it’s queerbaiting you dumb bitch @ jk rowling…. 

she specifically said herself that werewolves are meant to represent diseases like AIDS, and characters like fenrir greyback are predatory werewolves who want tos pread around the AIDS-like disease, conforming to 1980s homophobic stereotypes against gay people for “wanting” to spread around AIDS like how can you in one breath say you want to bring light to diseases like AIDS and in the next make a character who literally models homophobic stereotypes with the same disease?? 

also, remus was supposed to be gay apparently, but he “changed and fell in love with tonks” like ok first of all bi people exist, second of all why would you write a straight person who’s supposed to basically have AIDS when that sounds a hell of a lot like “predatory gay man infects poor straight kid” like there’s SO MUCH wrong with that, and yeah you kind of have to dig into it a little bit to get there, but when you’re writing about risky topics and you literally admit to it, you need to be WELL-VERSED on what you’re writing about!! and to say you’re writing about AIDS is deeply mixed with gay history! and to say that the main character who is a werewolf was SUPPOSED to be gay and then pretend you’re NOT associating it with gay people is just… such cognitive dissonance, or maybe really ridiculous ignorance

also, dumbledore is dead. so even if he was good rep, and it was within the books, he’s fucking dead. another buried gay, fuckos! pile em up! 

and i’ve heard there’s a shit ton of queerbaiting between harry’s son and draco’s son in cursed child? which like…. may just be subtext, but there’s a huge section of the fandom who’s all about harry x draco (i have not good feelings about that ship personally but to say it’s not popular is to never have seen anything in the fandom), and she must know that? like she’s not oblivious is she? so why would she like…. put subject between their sons? ?? it feels like it’s a bone to “hey i never gave you harry x draco, so here are their sons, who i’m also never going to give you” 

also? if grindelwald WAS dumbledore’s bf at some point, what does that say about what she thinks about queer men? he’s deeply predatory and preys on credence in a very creepy way that plays on stereotypes about older gay men preying on younger gay boys, and he’s also a disgusting villain played by johnny fucking depp, an abuser (who SHE SUPPORTS) of all people. what does that say about what her mind goes to when she thinks about gay men????? 

i don’t actually know her role in those films, but she has said she loves depp, what he’s done with the character, and where the darkness of grindelwald is going in the first movie and its sequels, so even if her role is very little, she supports what is being done. 

also…. um apparently newt scamander created a werewolf registry…. a little honest to god werewolf registry in the fucking 40s….. ??????????? what r we supposed to think here, about a registry of discriminated ppl in the FORTIES…….????? and that’s the protag of fantastic beasts… cool it’s fine it’s fine

ableism

when talking about irredeemable characters like voldemort, she literally said that “whether it’s a personality disorder or illness” they’re not redeemable…. !!!?? here is a post on that subject with links to the sources of the interviews she said this in. 

i don’t know where to put this bc this could be any number of things but i just thought about this so i’ll put it here: the thing that’s created in fantastic beasts, where it’s like basically a personification of anguish from suppressing magic – that’s quite blatantly a reference to any number of minorities, like gay people suppressing their sexuality, trans people suppressing their gender, the mentally ill and disabled pushing themselves too hard or trying to ignore/hide it… and credence was vilified and killed and the protags weren’t even… really sad about it?? and the ministry of magic never really THOUGHT About that they just killed him….. and that’s okay…. that’s fine… they’re just going around killing a bunch of KIDS who are inconvenient to them and who basically symbolize a whole number of oppressed groups. cool, it’s fine

you could also make a point that werewolves also represent the mentally ill, and all the same fucked up shit basically applies here

she also said that everything that muggles can get can be cured by magic, thereby effectively giving some bullshit reason for not actually having any disabled or mentally ill characters, also assuming that it’s not totally ableist to just…. “cure” all that? she didn’t say it specifically about mental illnesses and disabilities, but it’s clear to see that with her attitude on “irredeemable” mentally ill people, she would 

fatphobia

most fat characters in harry potter are shitty people. the dursleys, pettigrew, and umbridge – all characters we’re supposed to find deeply wrong, the ones we’re supposed to hate the most other than, like, voldemort. like…..? a lot of the other fat characters are all “matronly” like molly weasley or stubborn and “lazy” like cornelius fudge who allowed voldemort to rise to power. like what’s that supposed to say about what she thinks the extent of fat people is? stubborn, evil, or motherly? 

she actually has a character grow fatter and fatter based on how shitty she acts towards harry because of a magic mishap. she also usually describes the nice fat people as “plump” and “pleasant,” while she describes dudley as “so much like a pig” that he couldn’t even be turned furhter into a pig when it was attempted, or as a “killer whale,” or vernon dursley as “having no neck”

her fascination with abusers

exhibit a: she loves johnny depp, she loves him for the part of grindelwald, she praises what he’s done for the character, she praises his casting. he’s abused his wife..................

exhibit b: she loves dumbledore. he is constantly manipulating harry and not actually helping him get out of difficult situations at home or at school, putting him and the other kids in danger multiple times, not talking about important information to keep them safe, like?? 

exhibit c: snape. a fucking nasty ass creep to lily. neville’s GREATEST FEAR. like i dont’ even need to talk about this, we all know snape, dumbledore, and johnny depp are shitty lmfao

and yet she named harry’s kids after dumbledore and snape, like they didn’t fuck harry’s life up, especially snape, who terrorized him and his friends. 

in conclusion fuckos

she’s nasty!!!!! i was going to do a section on sexism but i can’t find anything – i think she’s too much of a White Feminist to be sexist, probably. likely she cares more about researching feminist issues than she does about researching native myths before she steals them for her own gain lmfao. there is the fact that she supports an abuser like johnny depp, tho! 

she is constantly like… going against all this on twitter too lmfao, like it’s hard to find good articles on her shittiness on the first page of google bc most of it is “jk rowling defends trans people against transphobic tweet, jk rowling defends muslims against islamophobic tweet, jk rowling defends [this group or that group]” and yet she includes so much bigotry hidden in the details of her books and what she says about her books. like i know some of this isn’t quite on the surface, but ultimately when you write a book with subjects you don’t really know about, your inherent biases are going to be apparent under the surface, and since she’s such a famous author with so many books and so much spotlight on her, if you dig in a little you can make easy conclusions/clearly see what she thinsk about minorities. so it’s really fucking annoying that she’s so “good and progressive” on twitter because it’s obviously performative so she can get the progressive points required for more people to buy her shit. like that’s the best word i can think of to describe her: performative. 

#this took me two hours to compile please appreciate me hhhhhHHHH #i know i didn't source a lot but i can find sources if y'all want. most of it is me just talking about what she's said anyway #ask #anon #anti jk rowling #anyway let it be known i love harry potter as much as the next asshole of this generation but you can love hp and hate her

[pearlrebs]

I guess i wasnt very clear. Easy to seem angry over the internet unintentionally. I mean to say; rebs url (a small thing) represented something to us. Xe left and we all really miss xer. Xe mattered to us and was a special part of tjlc. 1/8

In many peoples eyes this is an aggressive act. Im sure that you can see at least a little how we would see it that way. 2/8

I wasnt implying that you are not queer or that i hate queers. i was saying that, this is the internet, im not going to always believe everything everyone tells me. 3/8

Most queers i know, try and stick together despite our differences. And the fact that you seem very angry (could be reading into it) at a group of people who are predominately queer tells me that you COULD be something other than queer. 4/8

As you yourself said this is just a tv show...but its more than that isnt it? Why you spend so much thought throwing shade at rebs or the tjlcers or whoever, tells me that theres something else going on and that it is important. 5/8

banding together with like-minded people is the solution to the political shitfest we are in. I'd like to think that we could work thru our differences to reach our common goals assuming, we have common goals. (if im wrong, please let me know) 6/8

I dont see myself as a victim, im only sad. not in a pitying way. Its hard to describe. You were probably the victim of an angry tjlcer on here or witnessed the chaos and theres really no excuse for hatefullness (im admonishing my own camp here). 7/8

debate, yes, but never being mean just to be mean. That doesnt get anyone anywhere. I hope this makes sense and im not trying to offend you. I just think life is too short to hate. And its sad that there has been much on here. 8/8

I’m actually not angry, I think it’s all kinda funny. Though I do try my best to respond seriously to serious messages. The “go fuck yourself”s will always be met with a “sounds good,” but when someone takes the time to send a message like this, I tend to pay attention. Anyways...

First you say you’re not going to always believe everything everyone tells you, then you turn around and say that the tj//lc group is predominantly queer. Who’s telling you that? Hard evidence? Demographics data? A census taken by a neutral third party to determine age range and sexuality, and what direction they believe the show should go? As I answered someone before: anecdotal evidence is inadmissible in science and court for a reason. Of course since you’re a lesbian (a factoid gleaned from your profile, but if this is inaccurate, please inform me. But I could easily say you’re not, but I don’t, because when someone tells me they’re queer, I believe them, who the hell wants to be in a [most places on the globe] hated minority? [by “hated,” I mean high risk of murder, bullying, and homelessness, and possibly being a criminal act depending on where you live]), your experience is going to be skewed towards finding other queer people. You think the group is predominantly queer people, but from the outside looking in, even as a queer person, I’ve mostly seen a bunch of straight women geeking over two middle aged white dudes possibly touching dicks, and using “representation” as a mask. I haven’t mingled with your community — I’ve got my own, who are and aren’t queer all the same.

And again, I say that with full knowledge that it is anecdotal evidence from my viewpoint and experience. I could be wrong. But that doesn’t mean you’re right either. 

Moving on. Most queer people (I don’t like the term “queers” personally, but as a queer person, you can reclaim that word however you want) you know stick together despite the differences. Okay. But if our difference is that you don’t think I deserve rights, or that my life is somehow worth less than a straight person’s (voting Dump/Pence, specifically Mike Pence, who would rather a gay person go to a conversion camp — where the risk of suicide is nearly 70% — than be gay), then that’s not a “difference.” That’s almost a hate crime (and it actually is in some countries). 

I assume you and I have similar goals — stop the carney-handed mango. I assume all but the 14% of LGBT people who did vote for that cheeto in a wig, do. Hence why I make a point of saying I don’t hate Rebs as a person (although the fact that xer Patreon is still up, and xe’s still collecting money, despite the fact xe’s publicly declared xe has no intention on ever making videos again, and even taking the existing ones down, is a little less than the perfect angel everyone is insisting that xe is). 

Tbh, maybe I tend to befriend more queer people irl, but you know what else is important? Straight allies. To me, being LGBT+ is a description of where I put my genitals/my gender identity, and I don’t exactly bond with people over that. A shared struggle, yes, and if I see a queer person being bullied, I will step in. I can support a gay man’s rights, even if that gay man is going out there campaigning for the orangutan in a suit (and some did). I’ll say he should be allowed to get married to whoever he wants, and when his Nazi buddies turn on his ass, I’ll be helping him find a visa out of here, but dear Ahura Mazda, I wouldn’t be caught dead having a beer with him. In fact, they most criticism I’ve ever gotten for being trans, is from other trans people. Yes, they should have rights, but fuck them as individuals, holy shit, don’t tell me how to transition. You can be trans (or any LGBT+) and still be a shitty person. 

But like... about 10%-15% of people are queer. 10%-15% of people couldn’t have voted for our rights and won. Meaning we have a ton of straight people on our side. And that’s what we are: we’re people. I love Steven Universe and pizza. I’ll find people that love Steven Universe and pizza that didn’t vote for literally satan. 

I’ve personally never been wronged by a hateful tj//lcer. But as you pointed out, there was a lot of hatefulness that was slung around. I watched as people attacked Mark Gatiss for not making their ship canon, or call him straight (they really care about representation, don’t they? /s), attacked other queer ships, tags, bullied some other queer shippers into self-harm, etc. 

No, that wasn’t you doing any of that, and that wasn’t anything you participated in... This blog really isn’t about you, I don’t know why you’re so sad about it. This is about everyone’s actions that I’m starting to suspect we both found deplorable. Though I guess if you were a close follower of Rebs, you hated Mary from second one, which was really uncalled for (hate her for shooting Sherlock — I don’t, but it’s a reason — but that didn’t happen until we knew her for two whole episodes, half of a third, and she was just a lovely person until that exact moment). 

The thing is, it IS just a show to me. I’m just responding to hate until I get bored with it. But tj//lc it became so much more to a bunch of people, and that’s why it got so toxic. 

Again, THE PROBLEM is tj//lcers were demanding representation from a show, and writers, who were always honest that they weren’t going to give it. At least not in the way they wanted (and when it wasn’t in the way they wanted, they had tantrums, which is why I say: it was never about “representation” for some of them.). Rebs, even if it started as just a hobby, quickly became, and fed into this mass conspiracy that ultimately did end up hurting a lot of people. Possibly including xerself. That’s why I don’t feel bad taking your symbol: it is just a show, everyone had prior warning that jxhnlock wouldn’t happen, so the conspiracy was always just going to be fanfiction, and Rebs did some shitty things. 

The way people are freaking out... they need to get over it. Or if not, okay, soak in grief forever over a fictional ship, but there’s probably better ways of dealing with all this besides sending me hate. Because honestly, what does anyone hope to accomplish by sending me hate? Me to delete? Sure, let’s say I did that. Jxhnlock isn’t going to be any more canon, and Rebs isn’t going to be any less wrong, and all of the hate xe encouraged is still going to be out there. Oh, and I’ll keep responding, which really just makes it worse. 

Had people just ignored me — never sent any messages — there would be precisely one post on this blog, which was my original announcement that I had it.

Also — what have I said that’s “hateful?” Yeah, okay, I called rebs a “twat” for being a misogynist, I thought it was delightfully ironic, having a misogynistic slur juxtaposed next to that observation (like saying, “don’t fucking swear”), but no one got the joke, so I took it down. But otherwise? Saying John Watson is Straight is just a fact. Jxhnlock never happened, and since it didn’t, the insistence that he’s bisexual has no standing. He’s always said, “I’m not gay.” I never took that to mean he was saying, “I’m not gay, but I like men, I’m bisexual/pansexual.” Jeez, no, if he was part of the community at all, I imagine he’d let it pass, rather than get angry about the assumption (like Sherlock does, who is, said by the writers, to be neither gay nor straight. In fact, I’ve often heard that if you’re a good straight ally, it means not being upset if people assume you’re gay for standing up with them — so in some interpretation, he’s actually a bit homophobic). I’ve also pointed out that xe was wrong, which xe is. My banner is of Gatiss confirm jxhnlock wasn’t happening again — this is a thing that happened. Are facts “hateful” now? 

Also... “life is too short to hate.” I mean... I think I’ve got enough life left in me to hate the sentient tire fire that uses too much fake tan cream, and the apparent resurgence of Nazis in America. Don’t you? Shouldn’t you? 

tj//cers are definitely not on that level, but I don’t hate them, is the thing. I said this before: I hate no one in particular, just what the legacy produced. 

[olivieraa]

(same anon) I've always tried my best to be supportive of people who struggle with their sexual orientation, or sexual identity, but lately I've started feeling so tired with how tumblr enforces the acceptance of fluidity. Cis lesbians not wanting dick is not cissexism - it's a preference. It doesn't need a justification. The lgbt community is the one place where lesbians should feel accepted, but no. I want trans people to have rights and be accepted. But I don't want cis women to be afraid.

I cant even begin to tell you how hated lesbians are on this site, and we were already aware of how hated we were irl and yeah as you said, this was (emphasis on ‘was’) one of the most lgbt friendly sites but what this site does is it TURNS on anything involving women

The over-praise of white male celebrities by poc (WIDELY including woc) but the constant hatred and criticism of white female celebrities (esp those who say they’re feminists) is clear enough where the priorities lie. ‘I hate white people’ is almost code for ‘I hate white people/women’.

Its no surprise there’s more hate for lesbians on here rather than gay men, its the same shit as the above

In fact, you’ll see more posts DEFENDING gay men in some way, but just constant hate on lesbians. And any post calling cis lesbians ‘terfs’ (who make up the majority of ‘terfs’ btw not straight women) could easily be redirected to men or gay men, but they’re not. Ever.

In fact, there’s people dumb enough on here (and Ive seen about 10 posts on this) to say that ‘fetishising fictional gay drawings of men’ is the same as ‘fetishising real life lesbians’. There’s “no difference”.

If there’s a way to defend white men or gay men, this site will. It completely changed and become a site of pure negativity, in which any marginalised group involving a woman will be turned on.

(Ya know, like how white trans women ganged up on a woc from a third world country and how they were more oppressed than she was. For real.)

And for reference on the overpraising of white male celebs in which they dont gotta do shit to be loved:

Harrison Ford just has to be a cute old man

Hugh Jackman just has to take pics with a penguin

Chris Evans has to make a few inclusive posts here and there

Don’t… get me started on Ewan McGreggor, it’d take too long to gather how many posts people praise him on. Or white male youtubers, like fuck me…

You will never see a longass post overpraising a white female celebrity like they did with Harrison. And if there was, there’d be tons of reblogs saying “okay but remember that time she did this, and that, and this, and that”, all this negative shit. Has Harrison Ford done anything bad? Who knows, nobody ever cares to look lmao He’s just such a cool old man.

Hugh Jackman, what has he ever done for ANY minority? Doesn’t matter, he’s hot in his movies and cute outside of it, that’s all he gotta do. Be a hot/cute dude.

The Chris Evans one is the most hilarious. Its like when Emma Watson says anything at all in a feminist way and then she’s corrected by 50 tumblr blogs on all these things she’s said which were all about ‘white feminism’. It still doesn’t take away the point of the post??? By bringing up other posts??? Chris Evans hasn’t always been perfect, why does nobody reblog with the wrong shit he’s said in retaliation to his supporting post??? 

Its always “what did we do to deserve this male celebrity”, even from feminist woc.

This site is full of hypocrites. Watch the same people who said they wont see Ghost in the Shell or Death Note go and see Pirates of the Caribbean 5. 

Whitewashing = horrible, terrible, go see it and you’re TRASH!1!

Supporting a movie where the lead character is by a white man who abused a white woman = meh.

This site doesn’t stand by women at all. It’ll be quicker to turn on woc than moc. Just watch. They’re next.

#Anonymous

[torturedwarrior]

Habits: Good and Bad!!!!

Can habits have control over someones life? What makes habits good or bad? Even though Positive habits are supportive of us in our daily living. Negative habits can hold us back from experiencing the level of progress that we wish to see in certain areas of our lives. Also, Habits are stored in the same way (in your subconscious mind), be it a good habit or a not so good habit. Your subconscious mind does not differentiate between a good habit and a not so good habit. It just stores habits! There are many habits; good and bad. because the important thing to bear in mind (when it comes to habits) is that your subconscious mind is the driving force of habits, in most cases. and We all have habits in our lives. Some of them are productive, and some of them are not. Habits are an important part of human life. My belief is that a habit can be replaced. An example that I can share with you is about a client who hired me for life coaching sessions many years ago. He had a habit of watching television for up to four hours each weeknight. He did not like doing that because he felt that it was a waste of time. So, I asked him what he would like to do instead. His response was Something good. After further questioning, I figured out that he used to go to the gym every night of the week many years ago. He had a spotting partner (or training partner) back then. So, he was motivated to go. Without the spotting partner, he lost the motivation, and started watching television each night for up to four hours. Many of these items may seem a bit like "common sense" but when you try to combine a few of these that you do not currently do on a routine basis into a daily routine, you may be surprised to see how big of an impact these small good habits can have on your life. If you want to be more positive here are some examples: Talk with a positive person, write down three good things that happened to you each day, Laugh – even if you have to force it. The mere action of laughing releases endorphins, Get some sun (or a happy light, if its a gray day.), Move your body (walk, exercise) for 20 minutes or longer, Walk a dog or pet an animal, Ask for a hug from one person a day, Call an old friend or relative, Invest 30 minutes a day doing a hobby you enjoy and find relaxing and Buy something new (even something small, like a new type of coffee.) To be more effective here are some examples: Breathe deeply for at least two minutes, Focus on your breaths, Stretch different body parts for ten minutes, Listen to something calming and distracting (news, music) unrelated to whatever is stressing you out, Cuddle (with a lover, friend or even a pet – physical touch is comforting.), Detach from the source of stress (excuse yourself from a meeting, take a break from a project, remove yourself from an argument) for a five-minute break, Sniff lavender or geranium essential oil (both lower blood pressure.), Sit in the sun (outside) for five minutes, Paint a picture, Talk to a friend for ten minutes, even if just to hear about his or her life, Spend ten minutes grooming (nails, bath, hair.), Take a nap, and Chew a piece of gum. We have been known to inherit some bad/negative habits that effect our daily lives. These are some bad habits: Swearing, Trichotillomania, Picking Your Nose, Smoking Cigarettes, Biting Fingernails, Drinking Coffee, Drinking Tea, Hair picking, Watching Reality Television, Eating Fast Food, Alcohol (if you think you may be an alcoholic, please get professional help), Emotional Shopping, Spending On Credit Cards, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Eating Candy, Eating White Sugar, Eating Chocolate, Drinking Soda/Pop, Obsessively Checking iPhone/iPad, Eating Meat, Video Games, Cracking Your Knuckles, Speaking With Your Mouth Full, Talking To Yourself, Using Slang, Picking Your Teeth In Public, Forgetting To Shave, Going To The Club, Using Your Maiden Name, Humming To Yourself, Excessive Salt, All Work And No Play, Chewing Gum, Smoking e Cigarettes, Biting Your Pen, Nibbling While Cooking, Overspending, Overeating, Snacking, Hair Picking, Skin Picking, Not Holding Eye Contact, Interrupting Someone, Sleeping-in, Skipping The Gym, Smoking, Staying Up Late, Lying, Overmedicating, Eating Too Fast / Not Chewing, Skipping Breakfast, and Not Protecting Yourself From The Sun. Habits we should break, Smoking, not exercising, not sleeping enough, looking at a screen right before bed, and slouching. Some bad habits we can keep: fidgeting, double checking, and drinking (in moderation). A lot of times we don't think of bad habits as not doing things. But not exercising is actually one of the most common bad habits. Some Good habits that can change our lives: Stop smoking-it affects almost every single one of the leading causes of death, lose weight (if youre overweight)- the best habit to form to lose weight is to eat less. Or eat more of things that dont have a lot of calories, like fruits and veggies., Exercise-lack of exercise is a major risk factor for heart disease, stroke, colon & rectal cancers, diabetes, breast cancer, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. If you dont exercise, youre just asking to get a major disease., Drink only in moderation- Heavy drinking is one of the worst risk factors for many diseases. Thats more than 2 drinks of alcohol a day for men, and more than 1 drink for women. A glass of red wine is a good thing, but too many and youre greatly increasing your risk of disease., Cut out red & processed meats- Eating red meats, and processed meats like sausages, bacon, canned meats and so on, is a risk factor for colon/rectal cancer, stomach cancer, and high cholesterol, which in turn is a leading risk factor for coronary heart disease and stroke , Eat fruits & veggies- Eating fruits and veggies reduces your risk of several leading diseases, and its one of the easiest habits to form. , Reduce salt, and saturated/trans fats-  Salt and saturated or trans fats are in so many processed or prepared foods, and they increase risks of high blood pressure and high cholesterol, which increased risk for heart disease and stroke. , and Reduce stress- Stress is a risk factor for heart disease and high blood pressure, which is itself a risk factor for stroke. Simplify your workday so that youre not overly stressed, and exercise to relieve stress. So, it is clear that although Positive habits are supportive of us in our daily living. Negative habits can hold us back from experiencing the level of progress that we wish to see in certain areas of our lives. Also, Habits are stored in the same way (in your subconscious mind), be it a good habit or a not so good habit. Your subconscious mind does not differentiate between a good habit and a not so good habit. It just stores habits! There are many habits; good and bad. for two main reasons. First, the important thing to bear in mind (when it comes to habits) is that your subconscious mind is the driving force of habits, in most cases... But most importantly, we all have habits in our lives. Some of them are productive, and some of them are not. Habits are an important part of human life. So, what if we have some bad habits; we ourselves can change them and make good habits. Work Cited: "203 Good Daily Habits: The Definitive List to Energize Your Day.." Develop Good Habits - Morning Routine | Good Habits. 12 Apr 2019. Web. 28 Jul 2019. . "'Bad' Habits You Can Keep | Discover Health | Rush - Rush University Medical Center." A Top US & Chicago Hospital - Rush University Medical Center. Web. 28 Jul 2019. . Babauta., Leo. " The 8 Habits of Healthy Living : zen habits." zen habits. 31 Oct 2011. Web. 28 Jul 2019. http://zenhabits.net/unrisky/ Prasad, Ron. "Positive Habits and Negative Habits." LinkedIn: Log In or Sign Up. 12 Sep 2014. Web. 28 Jul 2019. . Sethi, Maneesh. "The Big List Of Bad Habits | Pavlok." Change Your Habits and Life with Pavlok | Pavlok. 21 Feb 2015. Web. 28 Jul 2019. . Leave a comment and tell me some good and bad habits you all have, and how they affect your life.

#habits #good #bad #writing #essay

[68ejgppd-blog]

what is the cheap car insurance for young drivers

what is the cheap car insurance for young drivers

what is the cheap car insurance for young drivers

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