#literal fucking bullshit

[daincrediblegg]

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying #literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it #if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT #please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok #the muppet christmas carol #for the love of god please people

[siriusly-the-best-bi]

guys the kiss was so important especially from a narrative and storytelling perspective because it was literally Crowley taking everything that's happened between them, every unsaid intention and every unspoken promise, and making it physical.

He's taking their arrangement and every other bullshit excuse they've ever used to hide how they feel about each other and throwing them out the window to put their feelings into an undeniable physical action that holds a lot of meaning to humans in order to be absolutely sure that Aziraphale knows exactly what he means when he says "we could have been Us." He wants to be absolutely sure that there are no misunderstandings between them and know that Azirphale will be committing to this decision with absolute reassurance that he's been understood and rejected anyway.

he's taking a human action with so much meaning and so much importance, and he's using it as a way to desperately make Aziraphale completely and undeniably aware of what he's stating. No more charades and no more lies or cover-ups. There's no denying this thing between them now, and Crowley did it the human way. Because he and Aziraphale love humanity and it's everything to them in their own ways.

There's a reason we saw a kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale, and not Gabriel and Beelzebub, despite them both being undeniable foils.

and really if you just think about that isn't it so god damned beautiful?

#im crying and throwing up #like please tell me u guys get what im saying #and im not just spouting bullshit #like literally i swear this is something i hope i articulated it well enough #like its so SYMBOLIC #it makes my fucking little brain do jumping jacks of joy #bi.f.shit #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable divorcées #ineffable husbands #gos2ep6 spoilers #good omens analysis

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Anyway if you think cultural Christianity doesn't exist then I fucking dare you to try to find a vet clinic that's open at reasonable hours on Saturday or open at all on Sunday. Having a pet have a medical issue on a Saturday is very much a question of "can this wait until Monday or am I shelling out $500+ for a quick visit to the emergency vet because literally every other clinic closed at noon"

#can you tell that this is something i have personally gone through #literally had a sobbing panic attack a couple weeks ago over this it's such fucking bullshit

[alaynestcnes]

Jon Snow and Sansa Stark in Art

Prince Ivan on the Grey Wolf / Viktor Vasnetsov A Foster Mother / Charles Sillem Lidderdale Portrait of a Young Woman (detail) / Pierre-Auguste Cot King Arthur (detail) / Charles Ernest Butler Portrait of a Young Girl / Konstantin Yegorovich Makovsky Dante and Beatrice in the Garden / Cesare Saccaggi

#jonsa #i have a billion things to do for uni atm so u knowwww i'm fucking around with my jonsa bullshit #my brain literally gets obsessed with making random shit whenever i have actual work to do that will impact my life #the art for jon being a girl bc he’s too pretty. definitely not bc i found the pic first and then reverse image searched to find the info #and by that time the edit was already done and idgaf #art #sansa stark art #jon snow art

[booksandmore]

“deku should have been a villain” did u watch the show. the show about being the greatest hero. the show about the protagonist breaking every bone in his body to save people and become a hero. the show about the kid working himself to the bone and risking his life to save his friends, innocent people, villains and people who would rather he die rather than be allowed to rest. did you wantch the show? the show that we’re talking about? the show about being a hero and saving lives? the show called my hero academia? that show? did u watch that show? is that the show u watched?

#if u want some dark ass morally grey bullshit watch smthing else?? #i think deku would literally rather die and that is a threat #have u seen what this kid is willing to just to save someone? he will self destruct if he has to. HE ALREADY HAS #midoriya izuku #deku #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha #mha #GET BEHIND ME DEKU I’LL DEFEND UR MORAL PHILOSOPHY #givibg me aan g flashbacks bsuajkakakala STOPP #its giving batman should have killed the joker like what part?? of a charchters narrative purpose?? is so hard to understand??? #i am sooo sensitive to this bullshit i am too sensitive to this bullshit i cant hold it in anymore #my boy deku is soo fucked up rn and u want him to get even more fucked up. why.

[insanesonofabitch]

You know, as a (kind of) new fan, I barely know shit about the full spn experience of watching shit unfold in real time—which obviously took years. When I was scrolling through Nov 5th tag, destielgate and all that, I found a fairly huge amount of people shitting on Andrew Dabb, especially for writing the finale. And I got curious about this infamous writer guy, like what else did he write?

Then I went to Google and saw that he wrote What’s Up Tiger Mommy. Then Hunteri Heroici. Clip Show. Road Trip. Bloodlines??? Stairway to Heaven?????? The Things We Left Behind????????

The Prisoner???????????

All Along The Watchtower?????????????

Lost & Found??????????????????

Like obviously, none of these episodes are perfect. But these includes HUGE destiel scenes—like pivotal moments that greatly affects the relationship and it’s development and how the audience view it. And so much of these are obviously, blatantly romantic. As explicit as it can be. Like the direct canon couple parallels? At least THREE times? You’re telling me this man is responsible for The Lovers Quarrel ft. Suffering Sam in season 8? “I’ll watch over you”? The Dean/Cas - David/Violet parallel???? Cas’ deleted personal heaven???? “Don’t lose it over one man”????? Cas giving up his Angel army for one guy?????? The Dinner Date?????? The Sam/Jess - Dean/Cas - Claire/Kaia parallel??????? The climax of Cain/Colette - Dean/Cas Mark of Cain plot line??????? “You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be”???????? The PURGATORY REUNION?????????? The start of THE FUCKING WIDOWER ARC?????????????

The Fucking. Widower. Arc. The stark contrast between that and Cas being barely mentioned in 15x19 and 15x20???????? Listen—and I’m just spitballing here—but what if this guy isn’t the fucking problem. You cannot convince me that someone who wrote all that, who contributed to all that, does not fucking see it…

…oh my fucking god. What the fuck were in those omitted scenes?

#note that ​I don’t know what this guy has said in the past maybe he’s said some bullshit but like. actions are louder than words or whatever #just look at these fucking episodes man. these scenes. I literally did NOT expect his episode line up to be so full of destiel. #I just— I have so many fucking questions. #supernatural #spn #spn scripts #spn finale #spn finale fuckery #spn gate #spngate #spn meta #destielgate #destiel meta #destiel #deancas #casdean #dean winchester #castiel #dean x castiel #andrew dabb #dabbnatural #reiotalks

[raayllum]

so just to be clear

Rex Igenous had the map / technical location

Akiyu helped make the prison

Domina Profundis knew what it was as well

Avizandum and Zubeia had the looking glass to help check up on him

The Orphan Queen discovered Aaravos’ treachery

The Jailer helped put the puzzle all together

and quite literally the only piece of the puzzle we don’t know is how to release Aaravos from the prison

unless, of course, We Do

#the key of aaravos #s6 #like it's either the literal key to his prison or something that restores him to full power and lets him out #game motif #arc 2 #CHECKMATE!! #if there is longing on the mirror of my heart #& as always #cube hostage exchange theory #s5 spoilers #oh yeah it's all coming together #like i sure am fucking Back on my bullshit #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp spoilers #Just in case

[lord-squiggletits]

One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).

And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?

Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.

Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.

And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.

Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP

#squiggposting #and like dont get me wrong barber wasnt trying to make cybertronians the bad guys or whatever #it's just a problem with his writing where like. he has A Message he wants to send #and so he uses the entire story literally just for The Message even if it involves bullshit plotlines #or familiar characters ppl were reading about for the past decade being shit on by OCs made up to fill a new roster #like barber's writing tends to lean way too much on a sort of lecturing tone #without giving proper care towards including moments where characters get to like. fucking express themselves and share their side #sort of like how barber couldnt be bothered to write pyra magna and optimus actually talking to each other during exrid #and instead during OP ongoing pyra is suddenly screaming about how OP is unteachable #even tho she never even tried to teach him bc she and OP never interacted bc i guess barber couldnt be bothered #he just needed someone to lecture OP so fuck making the story make sense or like letting OP get to say anything in defense #this is the infuriating part of barber's writing bc i think he has incredible IDEAS and was in charge of the lore i was most interested in #but most of the time his execution sucks and he's basically just mid with a few brilliant moments occasionally #or like he has a message about the cycle of violence he wants to convey #but his narrative choices trying to convey that theme made his story come off as super unsympathetic to the ppl who suffered #to the point where barber actively kneecapped some scenes that couldve been super fucking intense and emotional #in favor of the characters lecturing each other or some stupid plot to criticize OP #that time in unicron where windblade screamed about how this is their fault and then arcee replied that her planet is build on coloniation #shouldve happened more often than literally the last series of the ocntinuity. like goddamn stfu about your moral superiority #when your own sins are right fhere lol

[shivroy]

future shiv

#this is not as old as i wanted to draw her but this is at least plausible #like maybe a couple years into the future fic just not at the very end #idk. this is still an extremely important shiv to me #this is a shiv that could both willingly have hibernian and also fucking despise hibernian even when hes literally a baby #like thats a baby why are you mad at a baby. come on #she is perfect #god i love shiv i love her so so much #look at her Please #Please lookj at shiv please #succession #art #fanart #succession fanart #shiv roy #siobhan roy #the nation #she very much thinks the absurd fashion standards for the megarich which have kind of atrophied into red white and blue bullshit #make her look like “a tired hooker” but she doesnt do her own makeup anyways she has a female servant do it #this is a shiv that hibernian could look at and immediately start trembling #SHIV

[snackugaki]

one orrrr

two?

#not a perfect return to posting art #but fuck if my pettiness isn't a great driving force #lol about what snack?? #some ole bullshit i saw on the whassit... insta or twitter #one of those two where “FaNs” go to pretend they got no fucking manners #oOoOh you're a this that whatever artist because look you draw like this one OoOoh #fuck outa here #literally I'm gonna post going through my whole goddamn style rolodex #also? #personal art style is not as big a deal as some of these new/young artists think it is #like maybe in commercial or children's book illustration #since they look for a specific vibe #and you're doing yourself an artistic disservice by focusing so much on “creating a personal style” #and this weird fucking self-imposed boundary of like appreciating how an artist renders this or that aspect of their drawing #because they think the plagiarism police are gonna SWAT them #like... it's pretty and you like it bcoz it speaks to you so #fucking just #try it out #try out that type of line weight #try out that color palette #try out that way of lighting a person or a scene #try it #listen everyone is out here being an aesthetic frankenstein's monster #the minute you try out xyz in your art it becomes “your style” because how you interpret it replicate it will be #influenced (altered you could say) by how you draw #unless your ass getting paid to draw on model or your art lead's style or you wanna get on a show/game so you're cobbling a quick portfolio #but that's not this #also lol next mutation still got fans #my childhood nostalgia says hello #tw eyestrain

[gophergal]

Life on the farm

#gopher art #mortal kombat #subscorp #mk subzero #mk scorpion #kuai liang #hanzo hasashi #mortal kombat legends #been holding onto this one for a bit! finished it more than a month ago lol #i was originally going to save it for subscorp week but then i was like. nah. that wouldnt be entirely fair lol #and besides. ive been wanting to share it for long enough and my resolve has kinda worn down #anyway - snowblind but AU'd! heres my concept of this (which i may use later on for something idk): king kano got his shit wrecked #like way before the events of the movie. by the revenants in fact. i want him torn to shreds. you still have random roving assholes #making trouble across the wastes. but its much less dire. kuai still retires to his farm. kenshi still falls for shang tsung's bullshit #and kuai mentors him. hanzo becomes warlord of netherrealm. BUT. he and kuai keep in contact. its long distance and they make it work #sometimes scorpion vacays to Kuai's farm. as a treat. thats what this drawing is #i cant deny that i literally just want them to be happy ok. thats literally all i want for these gay old ninjas #bonus commentary: at the time of drawing this i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw hanzo. he's so fucking hard to draw #when i draw him without his mask or beard he looks so fucking off. but if i draw him with the beard it feels weird too. #babygirl why are you so hard to draw?? dont you want me to draw you?????

[svtskneecaps]

see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went

#qsmp #qsmp pepito #this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito #this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers #bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen #just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe #pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!! #listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot. #the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other #purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED #people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is #when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling. #eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa #baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros #favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE. #jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING #there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash #like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me #block game brainrot #shut up vic

[academicgangster]

Bro, you want me to work fucking blind or what

#bullshit environmental guilt tactics to get people to LOWER THEIR SCREEN BRIGHTNESS?????? #it's literally a quality of life issue #'give yourself eye strain migraines for the good of the environment!' #shut up! shut the fuck up! go tell big oil to lower its screen brightness!

[front-facing-pokemon]

#chatot #now this is the guy. this is the little man that deprives the hero & partner of food because they “failed to bring back the perfect apples” #even though they were literally fucking sabotaged. we all know punishment doesn't work and is a negative reinforcement but holy shit even i #the world of “punishments” not letting them EAT FOOD??? i kinda think that's genuinely cruel. and it made me despise this guy for a while #i think everyone's either in the camp of loving this guy and being a chatot apologist or like. hating him because he was unnecessarily hars #to the player and partner team. and always seemed to take team skull's side. i think he's a funny little guy but also yeah that was some #bullshit and i don't. trust him until he apologizes. he's a suck-up to the guildmaster and that's like. it. he's not a good father figure #even though the game seems to want him to be

[quaxslay]

I knew this kind of shit would start happening

For anyone who doesn’t know, Martin Lewis is a journalist specialising in money saving advice. He’s been one of the most prominent people speaking out about the cost of living crisis occurring in the UK, particularly the increase in energy prices, and is constantly trying to provide the best and most up-to-date information to people who are extremely concerned about how they will be able to afford basic necessities in the coming months as prices soar.

Tonight he posted tweets providing updated advice regarding energy bills, which many people are currently having to navigate following announcements from the government earlier today about tariffs.

And so many replies were along the lines of “this is not the time, have some respect”

You know what’s not respectful? Telling someone who is simply trying his best to help people not freeze or starve to death in their own homes that he shouldn’t be sharing important, time-sensitive information about how they can save money, just because a 96 year-old who never had to worry about affording anything in her whole goddamn life died!

I’m already sick of people acting like the major issues of this country suddenly don’t matter because the Queen died. That somehow the problems affecting the millions of people in this country living in poverty can be quietly swept aside for the coming weeks and months, despite this being the most crucial time for action to be taken to prevent mass suffering.

#uk politics #the queen #queen Elizabeth #British politics #cost of living crisis #I’m so fucking mad like #do you realise how many old ladies will die this winter because they literally can’t heat their homes?? #but oh no they don’t matter because they’re not rich !! #fucking bullshit man

[wosemi-sama]

hellooo ^^ i saw ur requests were open...

could you write a little silly thing with the obey me brothers and a child!mc who swears up and down that they'll marry him? typical funny "child doesnt understand the full meaning of marriage they just think its the ultimate form of love" trope.

ermmm sure ‼️‼️‼️ i gotchu anon. i think child mc is very silly™️

lucifer

Lucifer worked on his paperwork at his desk, as you talked his ear off with all about your day, sitting on one of the chairs of his secret study. As usual, he paid no mind to you minus the usual nod or hum, his attempt at making you feel acknowledged.

That was, until, you somehow brought up the subject of your future wedding. He looked up at you, his attention no longer directed at his papers.

"Excuse me..?" Lucifer's eyes widened as they always do when he's surprised. He was in complete shock.

"Yeah! Our wedding. So we can spend the whole day together!" You seemed to be delighted, already planning your father-child day in your head.

"Dear, if you wanted to spend the day together, you could just ask." He stopped writing and put his pen down.

"Really? But you're always so busy!" You frowned, Lucifer frowned with you at your response.

"Do I really seem busy?" You nodded, confused as you thought he already knew how little he's spent time with you lately.

Lucifer sighed. "I'll see if I can clear my schedule and I'll spend all tomorrow with you. How does that sound?"

You hummed in agreement, already ecstatic for tomorrow.

mammon

To celebrate his recent win at the casino yesterday night (unbeknownst to you), he took you to eat at the fanciest restaurant in the Devildom he knew.

He told you to get dressed in your fanciest clothes and to meet him at HoL's front entrance, covering your eyes as the two of you drew nearer to the restaurant.

Later, you were both sat down at a table near the entrance, eating your meals.

"This is so good! I can't wait until our wedding!" You exclaimed with a mouth full of food.

Mammon's grip on his fork loosened. He dropped it on his plate. "Our huh. Our wha...? Repeat that?" Mammon was stunned.

"Our wedding!"

"Do... do ya know what a wedding is?" Mammon asked you, serious for once.

"Well... no, but-!" Mammon interrupted you. "Aha! Knew it! Don't go sayin' things like that, ya hear?"

You sighed. "Okay...."

leviathan

Huh.

Huh?

HUH?!

"W-what did you just say?!" He put down his controller and turned to you, forgetting all about the Devil Kart game he was playing with you.

"Yeah, when we get married-"

Levi cut you off. "Nooope! Not happening."

"What? Why not!!" You seemed genuinely curious, so he answered. "People get married when they love each other."

"Huh. But I love you!" You seemed very confident with your response.

Levi was stumped, unsure of how to explain it differently.

"Y-you know what, nevermind." He decided that you'd understand what marriage is and how it works when you're older. Probably. Hopefully.

satan

You sat there patiently, listening to the bedtime story Satan was reading to you. It was a story from the human world, one you've heard a dozen times, yet you don't get tired of stories as long as Satan's reading them to you.

Everything was going normally until Satan got to the end of the book, the part where the prince marries the princess. "Satan, I'm gonna marry you one day!" You sat up from your comfy spot on your bed.

"I'm sorry, you're going to what?" Satan was speechless, unsure of what to do or say. Does he keep reading? Does he explain to you what you just said?

"Well, it says the princess and the prince love each other." You pointed to the page picturing the princess and prince's wedding. Satan nodded and you continued. "When you get married, it's because you love each other, right?"

"Well, not familiarly. You get married to someone you're romantically attached to." Satan explained.

"Oh. Okay!" You had no idea what either of those words meant, but you laid back down anyway, ready for Satan to continue reading.

Satan looked at the clock on your nightstand. "It's getting past your bedtime, little one." He began to close the book. You put your hand on the page that was open to stop him. "Please, just five more minutes! The story's almost over, anyway!"

Satan sighed. "Alright, five more minutes."

asmodeus

"Hmm? Our wedding?" Asmodeus was confused, to say the least.

Asmo brushed your hair, fixing it up in time before breakfast. You sat on the edge of his bed as he talked to you about all the new hair products he got you yesterday while shopping. Well, until you began talking about your future wedding together.

You nodded, he stopped brushing your hair, the brush still in his hands as he held it in the air. "Yeah, our wedding!"

"Why would we have a wedding, hon?" Asmodeus questioned you. He watched as you sputtered, trying to come up with an answer. He just giggled at you and smiled. "That's just not possible, dear." He continued to brush your hair.

"Huh? Why not?!" You seemed hell bent on marrying him, for familiar reasons of course, but nobody knew how to explain that to you.

"Hmm, I'm not sure how to explain it..." Asmodeus looked for an answer, hoping it would suddenly pop up in his brain.

Unfortunately, that light bulb in his head didn't light up, so Asmo stayed quiet and continued to brush your hair.

beelzebub

Even though it was a Saturday, everyone (mostly Lucifer) was still on about how you had woken up late. Everyone except Beelzebub, of course. He had even saved you a plate at breakfast! How kind and caring!

As you sat down at the dining table, he handed you the plate of food. You thanked him. It wasn't often the glutton would save someone food, unless it was you.

"Thanks, dad! I'm gonna marry you!" You hugged him tight, exciting for him to save you food every morning once you got married.

Beelzebub was... confused, to say the least. He continued to munch on his food, not sure how to act next.

He swallowed before speaking. "That's not how that works..." He looked around the room, looking for an answer. "Maybe you'll get married one day, just not to me." He finally decided on his answer, looking at you now.

"Okayyy..." You didn't understand, but who were you to ever argue with him?

belphegor

Belphie crouched and peaked his head under the blanket roof of the pillow fort you carefully constructed with him. "I got you something." He was hiding something behind his back. He took it out from behind, and there was a soft cow plushie in his hands. He smiled upon seeing your excitement towards it.

He gently put the cow plushie in your hands. You held it tight as you lay against the pillows, on top of the blanket flooring."Thank you, Belphie!" He hummed. "Heck, I might even marry you!"

The Avatar of Sloth raised an eyebrow.

"What...?" He questioned you quietly. You nodded. He knew it was just a saying, but he was slightly concerned. Asmodeus said that a lot. Was he finally rubbing of on you?

He finally went inside the pillow fort and got cozy. He took a pink blanket and covered you with it. It was silent for a bit.

"Where'd you learn that from?" He finally spoke, breaking the silence. "Asmo!" You exclaimed, holding the cow plushie even tighter.

"Ah." He knew it. He took the yellow blanket next to him and covered his legs, as he didn't feel like tucking in his upper half. The blanket had white stars scattered on the fabric.

He felt his eyes fluttering. He was about to fall asleep, but he still had something he wanted to say to you.

The pillow fort was quiet. You grabbed the book that was in between you and Belphie to begin reading where you left off. Before you could, Belphegor broke the silence once again.

"Hey..." He began. You looked up at him from your book. "Don't go around saying stuff like that, okay?" You flashed him a smile and gave him a thumbs up. That was the last thing he saw before falling asleep.

#dw i hate the header i used for lucifer too #literally the one i wanted to use wouldve been angled weirdly if i cropped it so.... #also no heart dividers under chara dividers this time (fuck you tumblr image limit D:) #i was gonna rewrite mammons but then i forgot and now its too late for that now lmao (+i am LAZY!!!!) #beels was short sorry chat‼️‼️‼️ #child mc calls beel dad. in my HEART. right in here *points at miniature resin apple pie in my comically large heart* #ok enough bullshit sorry guys :( #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me x reader #screaming crying PRAYING thetes no typos i speny 40 years on this i will explode if there are