#lurking culture is killing tumblr

[foreveranevilregal]

Hey even if they're old prompts at least one or two ppl will read them

Will they? I have no way of knowing if people don’t show that they’re reading in any way. Which, most people don’t. Tumblr has no hit counter, so all I have to go on is my notes, which have decreased drastically since the fandom heyday. And the old prompts I still have left are ones that are more difficult to write, so I’m not sure if it’s worth the effort of several hours of writing to maybe have one or two people read them. Writing has gotten very discouraging, not gonna lie.

#asks #anonymous #maybe this sounds bitchy or ungrateful #but writing takes a while #and unless I’m writing a piece specifically for someone #or for a friend #I’m not sure it’s worth it to spend the time just to maybe have a couple people read it #and not give me any indication that they’ve read it of course #lurking culture is killing tumblr #I knew the drop was coming #but damn I was expecting a more gradual taper #not 60 to 0 in a week #I got too used to having more attention #it felt nice #after years of writing for maybe 20 notes it felt nice to get like 80 on pieces #and now we’re dying down #maybe I’ll just crawl into a hole and die

[feybeasts]

Well, since I'm less worried about "not seeming nice"-

Seriously, spend your time outside of Tumblr as often as possible. I don't just mean "touch grass", I mean even online, form friend groups that transcend this site, get your news from elsewhere and from verifiable international sources, I cannot express enough as a person with outside perspective how utterly horrific the echo chamber effect and the doomscrolling is here, there are some folks here who are genuinely unwell purely from only knowing Tumblr and being pathologically unwilling to look at literally anything else, and I am truly and utterly horrified for their wellbeing. No website I've ever been a part of has ever had such a deleterious effect on some of its' userbase's mental health and ability to parse information and problem-solve, and it's the closest thing I think I've ever seen to a website killing a human brain in real time.

And no, this isn't a recent feeling. This is a horror that has sat deep in my gut looking at the culture of this website as a whole from day one. There's a monster lurking under the surface of this site, and it's swallowed some people's lives whole. Don't you dare let it consume you, this is not the whole of the world, this doesn't matter.

[t00thpasteface]

hey sorry i’m sure it’s a little dumb but how did you find a community/make mutuals on here? i swapped from twitter to here last year & haven’t been able to make friends like i did on twitter ;v; sorry if this is all silly but figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. love your art & blog !!!

as i like to say, it's like lifting an anvil: it's very simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. as someone who's a 12+ year veteran that lurked for a couple years and remade a little while ago, really it all comes down to putting yourself out there!!! don't just sit around twiddling your thumbs and lurking. it's tough to do it without coming off as a pandering tryhard, but honestly as long as you're polite, upbeat, and posting regularly, then you're golden.

if you want a big list of wordy bullet points, here's what i've got, and i think you'll find it's pretty applicable to basically any site/community you want to get involved in:

post a lot. this is number one with a fucking bullet! POST! POST LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. but crucially...

post GOOD STUFF. don't bash yourself in the caption/tags, don't say "sorry this is shit" or whatever, don't self-deprecate, and don't admit to posting low-effort stuff just to hit a quota. imagine it's open mic night and go crazy. this is a good site to use like a journal and a scrapbook, but if you want to actually get some traction, you need to bring something interesting to the table. of course, just being funny and nice goes a very long way.

encourage audience feedback. people LOVE to tell you about themselves and give their opinions. get them responding and make the questions and calls for engagement so interesting or fun they can't help themselves.

tag effectively. use both fandom/content tags for searches, and organizational tags for your visitors' use. the tagging system is tumblr's bread and butter, so make it work for you.

follow a lot of blogs you like. then see who they follow, and add those to the list. build a good circle of engagement and keep your finger on the pulse of the site culture for whatever niche(s) you're in... or want to get in.

reblog a lot and be funny/kind in the tags. generally leaving a lot of comments/replies to post is kind of hit-or-miss, but tags are a good harmless "inside voice" to use that doesn't clutter the post itself and yet still engages with op and people seeing the post

engage with people when they ask for engagement. things like polls, ask games, etc... scratch people's backs and they'll scratch yours. and it's just a nice thing to do regardless :)

panhandling is not always the best route. people will balk if you look desperate or openly beg for engagement, like directly asking people to reblog something or being passive-aggressive about how much engagement you are/aren't getting on something. a genuine joke about it is fun and relatable, but snarky comments just kill the vibe and scare people off.

REMEMBER THERE'S NO ALGORITHM. lurking will not put you or any of the stuff you like out there!! REBLOG POSTS! SEND ASKS! this site will NOT SPOON FEED YOU ANYTHING. like taming a wild stallion, you can make this work for you, but you have to put in the effort first.

some people will think you're annoying, and that's okay. probably not very many, but they'll be loud. this is an unavoidable part of Being Known. you can be the sweetest peach in the world but there'll still be people who just don't like peaches. don't take it to heart, and if you do happen to drop the ball or rub a few people the wrong way, don't let that keep you from trying again :)

i've enjoyed the many friends i've made on this site in the past decade-and-then-some, even though both this site and my blog are both something of a ship of theseus. here's hoping you can make it work for you and your interests, too!

#shebbz shoutz #ask

[olderthannetfic]

It might come across as irrational overreaction, but I get so annoyed and angry whenever I see people complain about getting too much likes and not enough reblogs and how it is killing their creativity, because a part of me, as a creator, understands that frustration, but they are also forgetting or, at worst, ignoring why likes are more common than reblogs as of 2022.

Call-out posts.

The reason why likes are now more common than reblogs is because of call-out posts.

Y'all remember those things? Posts made by people for a wide assortment of reasons that mostly involves the OP to stalk through your post and record every single reblog, interaction, and post you have made over years, even stuff you forgot about, no longer cared for, or, God FORBID, no longer agreed with?

That stuff changed the entire landscape of fandom. It made people terrified to engage with content.

Because for most, there is nothing on this world that would make you want to interact with something if it might end up pissing the wrong person so bad they end up doing something to make your online space a pure hell.

People prefer likes more because they can be private. They are more able to go under the radar (unless what you like has less like than, say, 200).

Reblogs? Unless your blog is private, they are more visible. The only way to erase your name on the notes is by erasing your reblog.

When they complain of likes vs reblogs, they are ignoring a very huge shift in fandom culture that created it. They are ignoring people's scars, fears, apprehension. I know that sounds dramatic, but there is no other way to describe it. Some people are genuinely traumatized. They give up engaging because it just brought them pain for the most ridiculous reasons.

Some people* turned something that was meant for informing and warning online people of genuine, criminal dangers within fandom spaces, into lambasting people for shipping the wrong pairing or liking the wrong character.

*three guesses on who these people are. I will give you a hint: they have a four-letter acronym they do their darnest to change because of ~bad publicity~

Who would want to deal with that? I certainly don't! I am not gonna risk my mental health for a bunch or lines on the paper someone deems to be more important than I, a real living breathing human being. Neither will the others.

So you want to get angry at someone? Get angry at the people who created this situation. Get angry at Alice from Karenpolis or Bob from Kenville who saw someone ship their NOTP and thought it was an unacceptable thoughtcrime that must be stopped at all costs, no matter how much fact they need to disort to achieve it.

Not at people who are made to be scared of fandom because of Alices and Bobs lurking within.

--

TBH, the real reason they're not getting the notes they used to is that tumblr keeps deleting the porn bots.

[luna-louise-13]

Since I'm very new to tumblr, I've mostly been lurking, trying to figure out a) the community culture so I don't make an ass of myself, and b) what exactly I want to use this app for.

While I figure that out, here's a little about me if you're curious: Like it says in the little tagline up there, I'm a writer. Though I'm new to this platform, I'm not new to writing; been at it for decades. I started writing original stuff and fanfiction, though for many many years, fanfiction was my refuge, my safe haven. I met and made lifelong friends through writing it, and had a ton of fun in the process.

But, as is human nature, I had a dream of more. I wanted to be a Professional Author, so I stopped fanfic and turned all my attention to the original stuff. And I succeeded - to an extent. I published six novels and dedicated several years to being a full time indie author. But despite my plucky, can-do attitude, the actual money making part of this venture went...badly. 😆 I'm proud of what I accomplished, because I gave everything I had, but as it turns out, (to no one's surprise), the stuff I want to write isn't the stuff that makes money.

The books are good. This isn't the books' fault. Macro-level, I blame capitalism, but the reality is that I'm not cut out for the indie author life. Everything I created needed a plan to be monetized. Every ounce of energy went to "honing my craft" and figuring out marketing "strategies." It was soul crushing, almost as much as the shitty retail/officer worker jobs I left to fulfill this "dream." Writing became work, and I started to resent every word.

The end result? I *almost* killed my life long love of writing and storytelling. Thankfully, I pulled my head out of my own ass and realized I didn't want whatever this was. So I pulled the plug on the business, let my mailing list know I was taking a hiatus, and completely stepped back from everything. Even writing.

I spent most of 2023 trying to refill the creative well. Fanfic helped. A lot. I started a Mandalorian fic that I may or may not continue, (depends on where the show goes lol), but it was the Ninja Turtles who really rescued me.

The first fic I ever posted was TMNT. And in November of 2023, when I sat down to do NaNoWriMo and finally write book 2 of my second original series, I instead started the sequel to that first TMNT fic. Then I went back and started "revising" the first one, because if I ever posted the sequel, it just made sense. 😆 (Even though I swore I would never touch that story again!)

I'm currently working on both of them now, and it's fair to say my love of writing has been rekindled. I'm still debating on what (if anything) I'll do with either fic, but I'm leaning toward maybe one day sharing some of my work publicly again. (That's another blog post/journal entry entirely haha.)

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Stay awesome. 💜

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #on writing #fanfiction #writerscommunity #neurodivergent author #autistic adult #fanfic writing

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Here is part 8 of my Interview With a Writer series with the super talented @annikin-annotates​ 💜 I am always grateful whenever a writer doesn’t mind me fangirling over their work, answering my questions, and keeping this series alive! Thank you!

You can look over the masterlist to see the other amazing authors I have spoken with. This is just a BTS of some of the talented minds on Tumblr and ao3. 💜  

Name: annikin-annotates

Story: Within a Wing Beat

Paring: Aemond x Winged!Reader   

Rating/Warning:  Death, grief, canon typical violence, blood, smut.

So, when did you start writing? I started writing when I was super young. I think the first thing I remember writing was a story for school based on Twilight when I was like eight years old? I don't even think I was old enough to watch the movie but I wrote it anyway based on vibes. But I officially started posting online when I was 11 or 12. 

What inspired the plot for Within a Wing Beat?  The plot came from a conversation I was having with a friend about the idea of a winged MC and how Aemond would interact with her. But some of the plot lines came from what I was experiencing around me at the time, in the later chapters, it deals heavily with grief due to the fact that I was going through a grieving period at the time. 

The MC was inspired by A Court of Thorns and Roses, which was a book both my friend and I were also discussing at the time. Her culture was heavily inspired by the illiryans in said book, an ancient Norse culture. I wanted to have that combination of real life and fantasy, and combining the two was such a fun experience.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal? So, I feel I took a lot of myself and incorporated it into my Reader. I wanted my MC to be for those who know they wouldn't quite fit in Westeros, the ones who know they would be killed off immediately for running their mouths. 

Do you think your Reader complements Aemond? I think for Aemond and Reader it's a 'right person, wrong time' situation. Her and Aemond are the light and dark in each other, she sees the light in Aemond's darkness and he sees the darkness in her light. They complement each other, even if they don't agree all the time. 

I also wanted it to feel real, so many fics portray an idealistic portrayal of an Aemond who is kind, loving, and respectful all the time. It's simply not the case, Aemond has the ability to be vicious; he knows how to hit people where it hurts (literally and verbally). 

Both the Reader and Aemond are young, their mid teens so neither of them know what the fuck they’re doing. Never mind the looming threat of having heirs, a war, and death lurking around every corner–not to mention that Reader is trying to fit in at the same time and, unlike Aemond, she can’t hide the attribute that makes her different. 

So I think it adds a lot of pressure to the both of them, and makes it harder for them to be able to feel comfortable. Tensions are always high between them, but they both just want to love each other.

Explain your interpretation of Aemond. What drives him? Why is he the way he is in WAWB? I interpreted Aemond in the same why I did with the Reader, that he's just trying to do what he was raised to do, which is his duty. Despite the prejudice his mother had against her kind, even his own personal prejudice, he still marries her because it expected of him. 

Until that point, he only really knows demure women of the court and he struggles with a control over her. The Reader comes to the realisation that the Targaryens do not care what happens to her or her family, that it's their blood above all else. Aemond kind of tows the line between doing what is expected of him, by being with her.

Were there any other characters in your story that you enjoyed writing?   I had so much fun writing Aegon, Sigmund, and Eribus! Aegon in my mind is just trying to get by after all the things he's done and I think in a way he's trying to find redemption by helping Reader escape. That and having him being a serial dinner ruiner was so fun to write. I tried to write Sigmund as a father figure to Reader, kind of like a mirror image of what Cole was to Aemond. Last but not least, Eribus; I wrote Eribus as a very Loki-like character. Out for himself but simultaneously vying for his fathers approval.

What is your next project or will there be a sequel? I'm toying with the idea of a sequel! I'm not 100% sure I will write it though. But I do have a few things that are now in the works after being on the back burner for so long and I'm so excited to share them!

Lastly, do you have a personal favorite fanfic you want to share? The Price of Our Sins by xXRoweenaJAugustineXx [FF.net] A Girl Called Honey by @whoahoney​

#interview with a writer #iwaw8 #bts #of their brilliant writing #hotd fanfic #aemond x winged!reader

[kurosukii]

𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

hello everyone !! this is probably an overdue announcement already lmao but i think it's for my peace of mind as well because i feel guilty for being shit at interacting for the past months. (this is not me leaving tumblr btw, just lessening interactions and trying to recover from a burnout) navigation.

i don't usually like talking about things that are going on in my life because this is a safe space for me to get away from the shit happening in reality but as much as i want to escape it, it will always catch up.

the last time i posted a fic and properly interacted here was december 2021. since then, life has been a constant turmoil for the past 5 months. you may or may not know, but it's the national and local elections here in the philippines (in just a few days actually). because of that, the lives and future of millions of filipinos are so unsure. and before i am anything else, i am a filipino first.

can you imagine the son of a dictator that selfishly ruled the philippines for over 20 years, plunged my country into billions in debt (that we're still paying to this day), committed heinous crimes against humanity, and many more atrocities actually having the chance to rule over the land once more? it's absolutely sickening—how history has been easily forgotten, how historical revisionism is their main goal.

it's not an exaggeration but the 2022 elections are a do or die, now or never, good vs evil moment. the whole world is watching every move we make, trying to see if we filipinos are truly a forgiving, gullible, stupid culture or if we filipinos are hungry for change, good governance, and can fight against a political dynasty that will ruin our very democracy. they are the marcos family.

we have a good fighting chance, actually. it's why the stakes are so high. there's a woman that emerged from the ashes of disinformation, heckles, negative campaigning, and every other shit they threw against her. she is leni robredo, the lone female presidential candidate. the only one who is qualified to lead the country and lift us from the despair we've been living in for over six years. the best man for the job is a woman, and with her, we can clearly see the hope that we have been desperately longing for.

indeed, the future is female.

standing by her side is kiko pangilinan, the only man qualified to be her vice president. he is running against the daughter of our current president, the president that sowed hate and discord within the hearts of filipinos, grew troll farms, and committed crimes against humanity with his extrajudicial killings for six years. they are the duterte family.

but i digress, because of everything that is going on, i can't be the person that i like on this website. i'll still be here, lurking and probably reblogging art and fics when i feel like it but i've turned off my asks because i feel overwhelmed. i don't know when i'll really go back to writing and interacting, but this is me for now.

i hope that this time next week, life will be different. but the good kind of different, the good different that every filipino deserves.

tumindig para sa bayan, para sa kulay rosas na bukas, para sa radikal na pagmamahal. tara na, at ipapanalo natin ito, dahil sa gobyernong tapat, angat buhay lahat.

if you want to know more, i'll be leaving some links below.

the marcos revival || international criminal court goes after duterte's drug war || who is leni robredo || the last man standing is a woman || bakit si leni? (why leni) || who is kiko pangilinan || bakit si kiko? (why kiko) ||

mabuhay at laban pilipinas, bayan kong minamahal.

#um yeah so....this is me #you guys dont have to read it i just really want to let it out #it feels good #tw.politics. #just in case

[poppletonink]

Solitaire

★★★★★ - 5 stars

“My name is Victoria Spring. I think you should know that I make up a lot of things in my head and then get sad about them. I like to sleep, and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.”

Solitaire was Alice Oseman’s first novel – published when she was aged 17 – about mental illness through an unreliable narrator. Tori Spring, our narrator, and main character is an extremely pessimistic teenage girl who spends a predominant amount of her time blogging, watching films, and drinking diet lemonade.

Alongside the issues that follow Tori just from being a teenager living life, a mystery lurks throughout the story. A trial of post-it notes leads Tori to a room, a room that tells her to go to a blog page called ‘Solitaire’. Solitaire started out as an empty blog, and then strange things began to start happening around Harvey Greene Grammar School. Solitaire is most certainly behind it, ending every blog post they make with the line ‘Patience Kills’. In the process of investigating Solitaire, Tori meets somebody: Michael Holden. In juxtapose to Tori, Michael is an extroverted, human version of sunshine, who loves to ice-skate and has an undying need to be friends with Tori.

Littered with pop culture references: Star Wars, Pride and Prejudice, Donnie Darko, Harry Potter, The Simpsons, Sherlock Holmes, and the Addams Family; Radiohead, The Smiths, The Police, Madonna, the list goes on and on. The large number of pop culture references adds a sense of realism to Tori’s character – as though she were a real-life teenager and not just a fictional one – giving her interests and opinions about things that we watch and read and listen to in day-to-day life. 

Solitaire handles serious topics, especially along the lines of mental health issues. The story is told through the lens of a main character who is highly insinuated to have depression. Eating disorders, self-harm, suicide, and suicidal ideas are also mentioned. Questions implemented throughout the story, often as anonymous questions on Tori’s blog (‘chronic-pessimist’ is a real blog that can be found on Tumblr, created by Alice Oseman), leave the reader questioning many things about life, such as ‘Why do people believe in God?’ and ‘Why do cars always part for ambulances?’

With relatable characters and intriguing storylines, Solitaire will keep you hooked until the very last word.

#solitaire #tori spring #michael holden #solitaire alice oseman #becky allen #alice oseman #osemanverse #nick nelson #nick and charlie #charlie spring #nick x charlie #sprolden #tori x michael #asexual mc #asexual #aromantic spectrum #lgbtq #lgbt characters #lgbt books #mystery #romance #bookblr #books #bookworm #booklover #books and reading #book blog #bookaddict #bookshelf #reading

[disco-tea]

I posted 3,546 times in 2022

That's 1,774 more posts than 2021!

985 posts created (28%)

2,561 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swinging-stars-from-satellites

@disco-tea

@candiliam328

@chasingfictions

@alittlemoretime

I tagged 3,436 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#buffy the vampire slayer - 913 posts

#spike - 394 posts

#dracula daily - 312 posts

#spuffy - 272 posts

#buffy summers - 138 posts

#dawn summers - 109 posts

#btvs imagine - 106 posts

#stranger things - 106 posts

#to keep - 99 posts

#btvs memes - 99 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#and it’s the way seeing dawn and buffy being a family even without memories makes spike’s brain go ‘wait where’s my familial affection’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Wait so they sealed Jonathan’s diary…y’all Mina isn’t getting the paprika recipe 😭

1,489 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#4

No because I’m coming for the kneecaps of every filmmaker that looked at Lucy’s suffering—Lucy’s slow and painful suffering where she’s so scared and weak and confused and SICK—and said, hey that’s sexy we can make it sexier let’s make her sexier too while we’re at it

1,746 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Funniest thing about Crimson Peak is that the ghosts are trying to help but they have the misfortune of being visually terrifying and unsightly so it constantly turns into the “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING??” vine

2,766 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#2

I’m so upset I’m so upset because we immortalize Renfield as Dracula’s bug-eating minion. Dracula’s faithful servant. But do you know what he did? HE DIED PROTECTING MINA. He was the only one protecting Mina at the time. He died trying to selflessly protect somebody because they were kind to him. Because they treated him like a person. Because he couldn’t stand the idea of them being slowly drained and killed. He physically fought Dracula and it cost him his life. And maybe it’s just because I don’t know my Dracula adaptations all that well…but I don’t think how Renfield actually dies is talked about enough. I don’t think it’s appreciated how, here is somebody who believed they could prolong their life by consuming other lives…but in the end he GAVE his life for another.

3,469 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Why would you do a bunch of storytelling gymnastics with the “oh Mina was Dracs wife in a past life” so you can invent a love story between them when Jonathan Harker is right there in the source material trekking through wolf-infested forests, half insane, just to get back to Mina. Jonathan is right there, trusting Mina with knowledge he doesn’t even remember himself. He’s right there, full of fury and rage, ready to cut Dracula in half and drag him to hell himself. All for Mina. He’s ready to become a vampire for Mina. Like it’s just insane to me we somehow as a culture decided that some musty creepy old dude was more attractive than a sweet charming guy with unhinged feral energy lurking just below the surface. Also he’s got white hair, a machete, trauma, and he might not be 100% Normal anymore. And you want me to root for the COUNT? The stalker guy with bad breath who doesn’t possess a single ounce of actual romanticism?

Like sorry, but there is nothing in Coppola’s Dracula that will ever be more romantic than Jonathan Harker holding Mina close despite her thinking she’s dangerous and tainted. Jonathan holding her, murder in his eyes while simultaneously having nothing but infinite tenderness in his hands as he ruffles her hair.

6,028 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #cackling this is actually v on point for me LMAOO #how did I reblog from myself that many times??? #OH adding stuff

[horridporrid]

A couple of months ago I did an intense rewatch of WoT. I'd previously engaged with the show as pure pleasure. This time I wanted to turn on my analytical brain. This was before I officially joined Tumblr so I posted my thoughts on Reddit. And since Tumblr is doing a rewatch in anticipation of season two, I thought I'd share my far too involved analysis here, episode by episode. I do spoil the entire first season but I only mention book stuff in a very general way.

So anyway... thoughts on episode one! :)

Leavetaking: (55 min)

There must have been so much pressure to keep this episode under an hour. They even truncated the opening credits to squeeze in as much story-action as they could. What I would've given for an extra... gosh, even 10 minutes would've done wonders, I think.

Prologue:

This opening scene is... clunky. If you were feeling generous I guess you could call it retro? An out and out stating of our hero's quest as she prepares for her journey is a bit '90's (or even '80's?) action-genre tv-show, I suppose. It helps that it's Rosmund Pike doing the voice-over (and the gearing up), and the lighting and sound design is suitably moody.

Two points for: (1) Foreshadowing with the sa'angreal for Rand to kill Dark One and the knife to kill Rand if he decides not to kill the Dark One each getting their own closeup. (2) Moiraine is wearing pants!!!!! (Split skirts is kind of a WoT book meme but let's get the women some practical clothing if they're roughing it across the continent for years and years and years.)

Aaaand the next scene is better (actual action, well directed with the excellent soundtrack kicking up the tension) but I still suspect this was a last minute add because Liandrin has nary a little braid in her hair. (Rafe has commented on his wig-woes and I can easily see filming a last minute, executive-ordered, scene and saving time/budget by not fiddling too much with the wig.)

The horse women look fierce, though. And Kate Fleetwood's delivery of, "you make it filthy," was delicious. A minute in and I'm already loving her as the season's villain.

Ruined ancient, modern/futuristic city!!

Truncated credits arrive and this was our prologue. It's a bit hand-holdy, imo. I think using the "Young!Moiraine and the prophetic announcement that the Dragon has been reborn!" opening would've been better (more creative and exciting). And it would've been helpful for the end of this episode as well (more on that when we get there). But it is what it is and the next bit...

Two Rivers (day one):

...is freaking gorgeous! The beauty of the setting and the laughter and supportive community of the Women's Circle is our introduction to the Two Rivers and I love it.

I also love that the initiation into the Women's Circle has an element of danger. (Just an element, mind. None of the women looked worried and you know kids in a village situated near a raging river like that are taught early how to swim and how to handle getting swept into rapids.) It hints towards a warrior society (foreshadowing!) and the visual illustration of how women are trained to channel was kind of brilliant.

I also love the cultural importance given the braided hair of the Two Rivers women. It gives a depth to their society that I'm not sure the books quite gave them. (Or at least -- it quickly gave their culture a depth that the books had the advantage of time to get across to readers.)

And! The warmth Nynaeve is expressing towards Egwene is kind of beautiful.

Soft-boy Rand! I adore his fuzzy blue sweater and that our opening scene with him is all about him being a sappy little romantic. Also, he and Tam are so comfortable with each other. (Light foreshadowing of lurking danger with the wolves keeps the story tension going.)

Intro to Mat and Perrin and first impression is Mat may have a gambling problem (he is palpably desperate to keep gaming and that worries both Rand and Perrin). Also, Perrin is the responsible and checked in one, keeping up with current events, trying to keep his friends looped in.

Egwene arrives! She survived (Dad is massively relieved so... maybe a bit more of a danger element to the initiation than I'd first thought? warrior society intensifies) and now, Party!!

Rand's big, unaffected smile! Perrin's sweet smile! Such good boys. (Did not pick up on Perrin's crush at all at first. This is where a tiny bit more time might have helped the episode a bit.)

And Rand almost immediately realizes Something is Up with Egwene. And a bit further into the evening Perrin realizes Something is Up with Rand. (They all know each other so well. Great subtle storytelling here.)

LAN IN THE CLUB! And only when all has fallen into an expectant hush and the tension has built to screaming: Slow-mo Moiraine entrance. (All eyes on us.) God, I love them. They are so wonderfully extra.

Of course, this is Detective!Moiraine at work, scoping out the 20somethings, looking for dragons.

Something interesting, Egwene looks intrigued when Moiraine is assumed a noblewoman. She gets just as guarded as Rand and Perrin when Moiraine does her ring flash to reveal it's actually, Moiraine Sedai. (Mat, bless him, is the only one who appears the least inviting, giving Moiraine a small smile.)

And then our extra!couple leave and Nynaeve sends Perrin home to Laila with enough of a loaded comment to tell us, Something is Up with Perrin and Laila's marriage.

My first impression was a miscarriage because of the belly hug. As we now know -- it's not that at all. I think the belly grab is meant to provide an echo for that shot where Perrin is covering Laila's belly wound towards the end of the episode (complete with the meaningful pinky grab) but when you're not given a reason for marital issues, you do go looking. I wish this scene had been a couple minutes longer. A bit more dialogue to let us know Laila is worried that Perrin either settled for her or is second-guessing marrying her... Something to give us a real sense of what the issue was as I don't think that was meant to be an ongoing mystery. That he carried a bit of a torch for Egwene was maybe the mystery to gradually unfold but that Laila was uncertain of his love for her... I don't think it was meant to be a secret kept from the viewers. (Or at least, I don't see any benefit in keeping it a secret.) I think Perrin's the character who is most screwed by the tight runtime of this episode. I actually quite like this new backstory for him. But I don't think it's shared as well as it could've (and should've) been.

On the other hand... Mat comes out of the sex barn (heh) to find his drunk mom watching his philandering dad and we realize he's got issues other than gambling and a really warm, caregiving, heart. He cares for his mother and is wonderful with his sisters and his mom drunkenly voices his deepest, darkest fear (he's a prick, just like his dad). So all is not right in the Cauthon home but Mat is successfully shielding his sisters from it -- which is a massive job for someone so young.

In the land of warm, supportive families, the al'Veres and al'Thors behave like they're already family and they're very comfortable leaving the kids alone at which point...

Rand goes all in on tackling the problem: "You've been avoiding me." Points for bravery!

But then when Egwene is about to tell him what the issue is he interrupts her with a kiss and it's all in for sexy times (with eventual fade to black because, classy, and I'll try not to pout because...classy?). So Rand's bravery points get taken right back.

And I have to take this moment to say: I adore that the kids have all been matured from the first book. It's more in line with who they are through the bulk of the series, anyway. And I am SO. FUCKING. GLAD we don't have to live through whole Two Rivers purity culture shenanigans that made everyone seem either 10 years old and worried about cooties or card carrying members of the Harper Valley PTA and looking for any excuse to clutch some pearls.

Meanwhile, Lan and Moiraine chilling in a hot tub, not-having-sex, 'cause that's not who they are. And we see that they are a team of equals as Lan feels very comfortable prodding Moiraine to use her powers to get the hot tub to the right temp.

And we get the, "Who is the Dragon?" mystery officially off the ground with Egwene as our first contender what with the leading smash cut to her immediately following the question.

A word on the lighting: I kind of love how the firelight glows off Rand's naked chest and belly. Also how it shows off the stenciling on the ceiling beams. Good lighting job, is my point.

And this is where we get Egwene choosing her calling over her boo and the super-packed line: "It's a lonely life, being a Wisdom." Also, Rand's voice break on "no kids." This is a boy who wants nothing more than to be a father. (With Tam as his role model, I can see why.)

And with all that character-work done we're back to the plot with the Fade's arrival.

Two Rivers (day two):

Adore that the whistling musical motif is picked up by Padan Fain's actual whistle as he arrives in town. And I adore what they've done with Padan Fain as well. The slyness of in his voice when he interacts with Mat... Johan Myers is killing it.

So we're into the early morning of a new day and Tam continues to be the best dad ever by letting Egwene know Rand's taken off. Clearly getting that there's trouble still brewing but not holding it against Egwene or trying to interfere.

Whatever trouble was brewing between Perrin and Laila, her snuggle + pinky grab suggests it's over but... what the hell was the issue in the first place?!? (Is what the audience is left wondering and I think that was a mistake. Oh, for that extra 5 min to their first scene!)

Anyone else notice that Mat's coat kind of echos Fain's coat? A cheaper, more ill-fitting version but similarly shaped, right? Just me? (If you watch Lezbi Nerdi's YouTube channel, her discussion with Pez regarding the costuming also points this out. So... vindication!)

We learn that this is an annual thing between Mat and Fain ("What do you have for me this year?") and that suggests Mat's desperate gambling the night before probably doesn't speak to an actual gambling problem. And it's all over a couple of lamps for his sisters for BelTine. The best of big brothers doing a job he's too young for... and this has been going on for a while. The heart clenches.

Moiraine and Lan are doing their detective thing and also their conversation short-hand thing. Moiraine is on Dragon search duty. Lan (who's aware of the lurking Fade) is on monster duty.

Time for Rand and Egwene to officially breakup. It's sad and sweet. They both still obviously love and care for each other, just -- they have different dreams that cannot work together. Really maturely handled but still a painful event. (And I kind of adore that they both lean on each other for comfort.)

Gorgeous spot for a break up, though!

Detective!Moiraine checks in on Nynaeve and I love how Moiraine leans into Nynaeve's hostility (her little power play when Nynaeve tries to get out of the pool) to push Nynaeve into a background revealing monologue. That's our Moiraine!

Mat is very warm with his mom as he gives her a lamp to put in the river and she looks kind of devastated and I strongly suspect Mat had three little sisters and one died. The death of a child can push parents apart. I can see his mom self-medicating with alcohol and his dad self-soothing with sex and Mat (who'd also be grieving) being the one to pick up the pieces for his surviving sisters' sake. His parents do still love each other (they're leaning on each other as Mat helps his sisters put lamps in the water) but they're also a mess. And it leaves Mat being the adult in the family which is not fair to him, obviously.

We do not see Perrin or Laila put a lamp in the water (which should've told me my miscarriage theory was wrong) but they're leaning lovingly into each other and there's another pinky-grab. Whatever the issue is/was with their marriage it seems well towards solved.

Nynaeve puts her lamp into the water somewhat apart from everyone and fiercely wipes away her tears before heading back out. The loneliness of the Wisdom underscored. (We'll also see her watch, but not participate in, the village dancing later.)

Battle scene!! (~34 min in):

Honestly, incredibly well paced and shot. There is shaky-cam but it's used well to denote character confusion and it's used sparingly. Shaky for Egwene initially. Very smooth for Padan Faid's dip and the Fade's watching eye. With Laila and Perrin the camera's not so much shaky as it is off kilter (having the focus action being out of center with unsettling push ins and cuts, etc.). Ditto the camera work with Mat until he enters that one room where a bunch of people are sheltering (including his parents but not including his sisters) when the camera goes smooth (safety). It goes off kilter again when he makes his hero run through the battle, though it's more his swerving in and out of view (too-long sleeves flailing) as he serpentines through the battle.

This holds true for the battle up at Rand and Tam's. (Rand no longer in his soft-boy sweater.) Steady until the Trolloc bursts in, going a bit shaky initially, steadying right back up when Tam unsheathes his sword. There are quick cuts but a very steady camera until Tam is injured and then steady again when Rand kills the Trolloc.

We also get smooth camera work when Lan and Moiraine enter the battle. This is the first time we actually see the weaves of her channeling (and I personally think they're beautifully done) and I think you could argue that the first time she channels (the bath) it's Lan's POV so we don't see the weaves -- but this time it's Egwene and Nynaeve's POV so we do see the weaves. (Which fits with the lore that only women who can channel can see the weaves of channeling women.)

The arrival of Moiraine and Lan is an upturn of the battle and it's at this point that we see the Women's Circle kill a Trolloc with their farming tools (warrior society!) and this is when the Trolloc bursts into the forge and Perrin picks up an axe and Laila picks up a hammer and we see them fighting it together in a sort of amateur echo of Lan and Moiraine.

Then it's a downturn of the battle when Nynaeve gets grabbed by a Trolloc and carried away. A second Trolloc comes into the forge and Laila and Perrin are both fighting their own Trolloc in separate corners of the forge. Perrin goes into some sort of berserker mode (sound design here is really well done), finishes off his Trolloc with extreme prejudice, spins with his axe and accidentally hits Laila who is poised to do a finishing move on her own downed Trolloc.

She dies very horribly and Perrin tries to hold in her belly wound and she grabs his pinky finger (echo of their first embrace) and dies. Rutherford does an amazing job showing Perrin's horror and grief and I'm sorry this scene got tangled up in, "is Laila a Dark Friend," questions (there were very definitely two Trollocs in that room and she was very much bringing her hammer down on the Trolloc she'd been fighting; but I don't think the director anticipated that question so there's no clear overhead shot of the body layout) and "what was up with their marriage?" questions. I think if it'd been clearly laid out that Laila was worried that Perrin loved someone other than (or more than) her, this moment would've been better served. But... as I said, Rutherford killed it and I don't think any viewer doubted the guilt and grief Perrin carries from this moment onward.

Yes, this is a Fridging, but! I think it works here. For one, WoT has enough Fridging to fill a Costcos with in-book Perrin given his very own aisle. So it's not unprecedented and it very much works to make Perrin's interior struggle with violence something exterior that a viewing audience can understand. Also, it takes Fridging in an interesting direction. Usually the trope motivates the male character to violence (and this is how it's generally used in WoT, including with Perrin) but in this case it turns the male character off of violence. So, for me, this Fridging gets a pass.

Moiraine is hit by a Trolloc knife but manages to win the battle by throwing the inn at the assembled Trolloc army. (We get a really good look at the Trollocs here, a slow, closeup shot, and my hat goes off to the Practical Effects and CGI crew. They look incredibly good.) Moiraine collapses as the inn collapses with Lan charging up to cover her body and... battle end. We're ~45min in, so that was a solid ten minutes of battling and I wasn't bored once and felt like I learned something important about each character we focused on. Gold stars all around. :)

Two Rivers (day three):

We fade into Rand leading his horse (Bela if you're in the know) into town with his injured dad and realizing crap happened everywhere last night (the lighting gives "early morning" vibes). His face is streaked with blood and filth.

Reunions happen, beginning with Egwene and Rand. She's obviously thrilled to see Rand and he her, though his injured dad has priority. Then Mat arrives with his sisters. His parents are, again, leaning on each other, and his dad seems a bit ashamed (which, he should be). Mat notices Perrin coming out of the forge with Laila's body (Perrin has obviously taken the time to clean her up a little bit). His calling out to Perrin gets Rand's attention but Rand is focused on Tam. So it's Mat who silently supports Perrin as Perrin lays Laila down with the other bodies.

Egwene was fetching Moraine for Tam. And I love how visibly exhausted Moiraine is. Because we saw how hard she fought last night, we recognize how much she's pushing herself here. Which makes Rand's accosting her all the more jarring. And a very strong contrast to the soft-boy Rand we've seen previously. (His sweater is long gone.) And of course, by season end we understand why he's on edge at this moment. (Stradowski gives good reaction when Moiraine retorts, "They're here for you." He looks like he's about to be sick.)

And then we're into Moiraine's monologue about the blind Aes Sedai's prophecy or vision and... yeah, this bit is clunky and rushed, imo. Oh, how I wish the opening scene had been that vision itself as Rafe had planned! That would have left space for more natural sounding dialogue -- less stuffed to the brim with exposition -- for Moiraine to gather our crew together and get them to leave with her. Pike is able to deliver it fairly well but... yeah. Still kind of clunky.

I do love Lan's line, "How did they get here so fast?" The frustrated confusion in Henney's voice, like he's almost speaking to himself. That's the natural I was looking for.

Anyway, it's everyone on their horses and off they go. A couple of things I noticed:

Everyone is still as filthy as they were prior to getting onto the horses. All that's changed is Rand and Egwene have on (admittedly really nice) coats. So there wasn't even a pause to wipe the blood and dirt off their faces.

Everyone has someone to say goodbye to except for Perrin. D: The heart clenches. The warmest goodbye is between Tam and Rand. Tam gets a close up for his gentle, best-dad, smile.

TL;DR This episode, out of the whole first season, is the one where I most felt the interference of sticky executive fingers. The very beginning is an unfortunate level of clunky, and the very ending is almost as bad. Thank God for Rosmund Pike and Kate Fleetwood is all I can say. Fortunately, the middle parts range from good to amazing. I do wish Perrin's backstory had been fleshed out more. (I don't see any benefit gained from not full on spelling out that Laila was worried Perrin loved another woman more than her. And I think there was some cost to not spelling it out.) But otherwise, I enjoyed the character work and the world building.

A solid B episode that easily carries me into watching the next one.

#wot on prime #wot on prime rewatch #wot rewatch #wheel of time rewatch #wot on prime season one

[myhuman]

2 for the question thing tbh which guy are you? the modernity of flint on gears, controlled; or the rawness of flame soaking through the wood, down to your fingertips. going anon because this is making me sound gay

🫡 anon this is an awesome question and also to be honest it does kind of make you sound gay but that's because technology is inherently homoerotic

dude this is a hard fucking question (just deleted like 2 paragraphs)

I really like both sides. "the modernity of flint on gears, controlled" really just reminds me of how industrialism has changed us, I feel almost cold towards the idea. There's such an inherent cold of machines, and I know on tumblr we've really defined machines with their own warmth of the sprawling style of wires and cords and plugs and ports to that of organs and I think the most important thing to remember is the human hands that had spent so long blueprinting and crafting such things... which is what I'd really wanna say, but our machines are still cold. Our factories are disgusting and churning things with indifference that is largely an amalgamation of capitalism and mingling cultural aspirations for never-ending work. I think our machines are hungrier than our people that we have to dig up the very life of our planet just to make these fucking things. As much as there's beauty in the internet and connecting and having made these machines of spectacle and wonder there's something insidious lurking in all of it that I can't help but feel more disturbed as our new technology comes to really kill us from the inside out.

"the rawness of flame soaking through the wood, down to your fingertips" is much more distinctly human. Warmth and skin is very primordial, more familiar to me. It is also much more directly something that's going to kill us, but like after a wildfire there'll still be some life to sprout from our little ashes. But it does still kill us. With this, I don't really think it'll be kind enough to leave anything but our bones left. I think bones can still count as something left to remember us? Already consumed by the flames of something and I'm not sure what but it doesn't really matter because either way it will still kill us. I can't help but think of it in comparison to the other option though, that my mind still sticks to like ants to sugar. I'd really rather something leave nothing of us behind than kill us from the inside out ...

[avidreadersandemergingwriters]

Felicity's Choice (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/story/342181302-felicity%27s-choice?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_myworks&wp_uname=kirstenmarion55&wp_originator=10%2FvjfZKnIKOsKdhPipLoeDGhcwZ6352lLlWaRLvyqFufAwCNFroeCUzHMGTFs%2BKNlG6Ox%2FDvasqASE%2BSOyWTwalq0kJ1flKv%2BImQeLiYRVuWr5vU%2F793Hg8qktZYs5Z 

Felicity has always been fascinated by the humans. Their art, their culture, and their ability to love with reckless abandon. But when her brother, a powerful vampire, kills the young painter she has been observing, Felicity is forced to confront the darkness that lies within her own kind. Sickened by the cruelty and violence of vampire society, Felicity makes a decision that will change her life forever. Fleeing from her home and the wrath of her brother, Felicity must navigate the treacherous world of humans alone. But she is determined to be different from the vampires she has known her whole life, to resist the urge to feed on innocent humans and instead find a way to coexist peacefully. As she struggles to survive on the outskirts of human society, Felicity must stay true to her resolve or risk being dragged back into the world of vampires and their twisted power games. But with her brother on her trail and danger lurking around every corner, sticking to her principles may be easier said than done.

#adventure #drama #vampire #books #wattpad #amwriting

[fiftyshadesofanxiety]

Proshipper v Anti war????

As I've only been lurking in this fandom for the majority of my time in it, im not sure as to why people are so adamant on throwing death threats at each other over what you choose to create in this fandom. Blocklists, death threats, and even some accounts dedicated to harassing people that call themselves "proshippers". I choose to remain neutral on this issue, but personally I believe that something as small as the content someone wants to create based on a show for their own entertainment isn't something we should be constantly martyring ourselves over in this fandom. I understand the argument of "but fiction bleeds into real life"; the distinguishment between fiction and reality is a pretty big one. I highly encourage and support fighting against crimes like pedophilia and incest, etc, on platforms other than a fictional show's fanbase. You're not going to save children by arguing with people on tumblr. The mask of anonimity and whatever cancel culture does doesnt help. If you stumble across content you don't wish to see, the block button is your best friend. This is the internet and you're going to see things that you dont like, dont approve of. If we all went out in the streets, harassing and telling people to kill themselves as soon as we didnt see something that didnt align with our morals, we'd all be in jail. However you feel about someone's content shouldnt elicit such severe hostility; it gets nothing done :(. I value everyone's opinion, but I hate to see such negativity polluting an amazing show's fanbase. Neither side is right or wrong, as it takes much more of a deep and thoughtful conversation to establish that, but its not worth the fight. No one's life or innocence is being saved.

Once again, this is my opinion, and my opinion only. I 100% respect it if you dont agree with me! I'm open to learning.

#moral orel

[fuckingrealityshifting]

This account is mostly inactive.

I have left shifting.

I STILL LURK on tumblr itself so a random post or random ask response may happen. Everything on this account will be left up bc the effort of deleting or pirating every. Single. Post is a no. I might check my old stuff in the inbox occasionally to see if there’s anything I want to answer but otherwise I will be leaving the asks and such

Here is this big Masterpost thing with a bunch of links here. Here is the old pinned post. Off a quick search here are some active shifting accounts sorry for the tags: @shiftingshiftingshifting (hi) @my-reality-my-rules @shiftingxsparkles

1. Do I no longer believe in shifting?

Yeah no I rly don’t. Maybe deep down it’s hard to fully shake a belief you’ve gotten into for like a year or whatever. But like…. no. I just know I’m frustrated at myself by the way I brought it here and I feel guilty about the role I played in creating the community here. Because it’s just… aaah.

Because let’s be honest. Nobody here is using it for anything other than escapism—there is like, no shifting blog with a DR that’s not centered around a fun piece of media or a fun scenario or something. You have to admit it. Even if you don’t think you’re doing it, it’s just really escapism.

And because of the demographic on this site you really have a bunch of teens looking for spiritual explanations for things that are to others clear mention health issues or just common stuff (dissociation, hallucinations, sleep paralysis) and it’s just…… Ah.

AND guys. The CIA documents don’t prove shifting. They really do not. There are better explanations on this but like. Have we actually read them…? Or do we just parrot the ‘proof?’ Like. Ancient cultures had shifting. WHAT ancient culture? I’ve seen the rare mention of Hinduism. And the evidence for that is WHERE? Evidence. What specific source?? There never is one. The response is usually passive aggressive abt doing ur own research or not demanding answers…. because they probably don’t know. I’ve LOOKED. I just don’t see it anywhere?? Or heard even why people say that?? I’m literally begging anyone to point me somewhere. Y’all don’t know and you don’t know because I also didn’t know! I didn’t fact check anything when I echoed it or believed it. I just accepted it. I do not think I’m the only one. I know I’m not.

Are we going to talk about the shifters who’ve admitted they lied, and the implications they have? I’m not big on shifting tiktok so I can’t remember names but I’m pretty sure there’s been multiple decent sized shifting creators undergo drama about admitting to lying. And then everyone goes like THIS OTHER CREATOR WOULD NEVER <3 genuinely how do u know that cause people probably said that about the one who just got exposed ?

There is a major issue with clear mental health experiences being interacted with, encouraged, and worsened by others. Seeing shit and hearing shit, major dissociation, experiences that doesn’t make sense within the concept of reality shifting and the logic that’s in place—it really sounds like unchecked psychosis and other mental illness is being encouraged by people who take anything as shifting related. Some of y’all don’t need to be told you’re getting closer and closer or that you minishifted or whatever. You need help. Me included! I wasn’t shifting. I was mentally ill. Nobody in the shifting community recognized that because rarely anyone can differentiate.

I don’t even want to mention the suicide parts of respawning. Who knows if people actually killed themselves and it wasn’t just internet rumors? It may be true but I’ve never seen a source. But the whole thing as a concept? People trying to leave this reality forever, involving death or not? We really should have paid more attention to that as a community and asked what we were doing that could bring about something as fucked as that rather than just going We Don’t Do That Here. Like in hindsight…. Oh Boy

Let’s say shifting isn’t real. It doesn’t matter if you believe, you always have to acknowledge there’s a chance you’re wrong. And in that scenario: these kids dissociated and killed themselves because of us as a community. We’re just going to shuffle away from that?

And okay, let’s say shifting is real: I’ve seen people ask why they should care about this reality if they’re just going to shift, I’ve seen people talk about how disconnected they got with this reality because of shifting. If it’s real it’s a Big Fucking Thing and I just think it’s often being used recklessly because we are young. Adults in the community are usually like, 20 to 25 at BEST. They are still young. Yes I’ve seen a few exceptions but that generalization is based off the majority of what I have seen. Age has been so warped by the concept of minors versus adulthood where it’s like once you’re legally an adult people think you’ve got the mental capacity of someone who’s 60. Your brain is still developing. In the grand scheme of things, you are still young. Most importantly: You are still impressionable. You are still more susceptible to mental health struggles due to your place in life.

And I’m gonna be so honest: yeah yeah no timeline to shift but. I really haven’t seen one person from the old days of shiftblr who’s successfully shifted since then. More and more people I see in shifting comment sections are asking for help because it’s been years and it hasn’t happened yet. How large are we gonna grow as a community with nobody but a select few having shifted? How long are we going to wait without ever questioning it? And additionally, a lot of people after a long time ‘shift’ with lucid dreaming method and I would like to point that out. Or just minishift (?) or shift once and can’t for a long time.

2. What’s your opinion on spirituality in general then?

Idk I had this question up for a while as a “I still believe in manifestation’ disclaimer to try and soften the blow of leaving but I don’t care abt any of that anymore—the point abt shifting is I truly don’t believe it’s another reality but that people are finding ways for like intense mediation/lucid dreams that mimic reality.

Bottom line, I just want a fresh start away from this. I don’t like being a Person People Look To For Advice. Like if someone’s going to make a video essay on shiftblr one day I don’t wanna be An Even Bigger Part than I very well might be

Like I don’t want to overestimate my importance bc I am sooooo super irrelevant now. But I would like to point out I started a lot of these hashtags the community used. I came up with #shiftblr. If memory serves, I was the first exclusively shifting centric account. I know at least another account had mentioned it before, but I’ve been around a while.

I’m not someone who’s leaving because I’ve gone off the rails crazy, or because it didn’t work, or I’m turning on shifting because I just tried it once and decided it must be false. I was fully immersed in this community and STILL made the decision to leave. If you can’t handle that, if you still feel like I haven’t tried it ‘right’ or I’m misunderstanding stuff and THAT’S why I don’t believe, if u keep finding annoying justifications like it’s impossible for someone to validly stop believing, you annoy me. please leave me alone at this point it’s been ages

#shifting #shiftblr #reality shifting #shifting doubts #pinned post

[olderthannetfic]

You can't tell me that Shinji wouldn't have some fierce pent up rage he'd let out in the bedroom whenever he manages to make it in there.

Idk, I know my experience isn't universal but I only saw the anti-pages and flash games in the fujoshi sector. Flame wars on LJ with het ships oh absolutely. Hello stalking and other such nonsense. If you saw any hate/kill pages for het ships I'd love to hear about them because that's a weird part of internet history that I sometimes wonder if I dreamed up. That experience was a big milestone during my formative years. I could've done better without that experience. Either way, internalized misogyny is something we all get to battle, I'm sure, but I do take exception to people weaponizing and pedestaling Teh Gays to do it. Or any race someone doesn't have a dog in really but to stay on topic. The overall vibe I recall was 'this is so taboo and that makes it sexy so let's play in this filth for a while and kill Asuka' etc and I just think it'd be nice if that was done? So yeah. 1) Are we normalized yet and 2) What's the updog on the female character hate-sites?

IS IT SAFE YET?

--

Hmm... an intriguing point.

Fandom! Please weigh in on this pressing topic!

How does Shinji fuck?

--

I think the het side of fandom just called their enemy characters "whores" instead of "stupid and boring" like the m/m-shipping side tended to. IDK. It's not like over-the-top hate for the character in the way of the ship has ever been restricted to one group.

Plenty of female character hate I remember was from straight dudes who pretended not to care about shipping. That absolutely includes jokey shit about Asuka being raped or murdered for not fawning on their self-inserty take on Shinji or for not being a ~demure lady~ like Rei or some bullshit. I'm sure they too would be quick to blame it on the icky m/m shippers now though.

There's a really toxic subtext to your comments that's a lot more pressing than someone's character hate webshrine from twenty years ago.

"Or any race someone doesn't have a dog in really" is such a covert radfem way of thinking. That's for two reasons:

1. A shitton of conflicted AFAB m/m shippers grow out of their "girls suck" problems when they finally realize that they are not girls and that this hatred of everything to do with women is coming from a place of being constantly triggered by how people perceive them.

I remember reading some of Billy Martin's old stuff as a teenager and being really grossed out by how it treated women. I liked the m/m parts and the kinky shit, so I kept reading, but yikes. Years later, finding out that Poppy Z Brite was struggling for years and eventually became "Doc" and then Billy Martin made so much sense. That doesn't make misogyny cool, but I'll cut the dude some slack for taking a while to figure his shit out.

I don't restrict that to trans men. NB people and, frankly, a lot of more-or-less cis women with non-normative gender in some way follow a similar path.

2. What makes you think I don't have a dog in that race? What makes you think a woman cannot relate primarily to male characters or equally to male characters?

As a bisexual woman, I like bisexual characters. I don't give two shits about lesbian ones. My first point of identification is orientation, not gender.

The reason I say your (extremely common and thrown at me daily) talking points are covert radfem is that they posit a situation in which women should identify first and foremost with other women. We should choose women. We should center women.

Why?

What if you want to center your ethnicity? What if you want to center your age? What if you want to center your neurodivergence?

Or what, for that matter, if you want to write about the inside of your head and not the outside of your body? There are many, many reasons people choose these cross-group identifications for that purpose. The entirety of drag queen culture and gay men's use of female celebrities is a version of this. Sure, some trans women have been into the same stuff, and it was an expression of them being women, just as some m/m-writing AFABs in fandom turn out to be men, but there's also this whole other thing that has to do with making art that expresses your insides, not a representation quota.

--

Are we normalized yet? Is who normalized? Gay men? People who hate on m/m shippers in cliched ways? Yes to both. If you want to hang with the cis gay dudes, I'm sure they're around somewhere, though probably not in the middle of AFAB-ville on fanworks fandom tumblr. If you want to find a bunch of dickheads who hate "fujoshi", often in self-hating ways, they're all over the place though. Throw a rock. You'll hit one.

Character shrines, positive and negative, are long dead thanks to geocities and its ilk deleting our collective internet history, but as long as you see strawmen lurking around every corner, it will never be safe for you.

[foodbytesback]

The Rise and Fall of Bon Appetit

Sometimes life comes at you fast.  Sometimes, that means stories in the food industry break in such rapid succession that you have no time to blink in between.  Sometimes, it means someone found out about something racist you did a few years ago.  What happens when it’s both?  Ask the fine folks at Bon Appetit.

In recent years, Bon Appetit made a name for itself, rising from the ashes of dying print media, through its Youtube channel featuring a diverse cast of personalities.  But over the course of this past week, many of the publication’s executives have been found to foster a toxic workplace culture, rife with racism, sexism and homophobia.  

Before I get too deep (because this is going to be a long one), I feel the need to point out that while this story’s breaking happened to coincide with Black Lives Matter protests across the country and gained traction from people’s outrage towards inequality, the events that have unfolded should not be blamed on “cancel culture,” “political correctness run amok” or any other reactionary dismissal of critical thinking.  Adam Rapoport didn’t lose his job because Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Matter came to be because of the damage that many in positions of power like Rapoport have done in both mainstream media and society as a whole.

[Also, yes, there are going to be a lot of links to Instagram posts that have been screenshotted and uploaded to Twitter.  Clearly the real takeaway from this debacle is that I need to get an Instagram account.  Also also, thanks to Tumblr’s new rules about offsite links, you’ll have to go to my main site for the full receipts.]

Preamble

Shortly after the killing of George Floyd, Adam Rapoport, Editor-in-Chief at Bon Appetit, wrote an editorial highlighting some of the coverage they’ve given to black chefs.  Many criticized this as being superficial and performative, with others saying that BA has, on numerous occasions, shut down articles relating to black culture for not being “trendy” enough or otherwise was discriminatory towards black employees. (Also, the repeated use of “uprisings” instead of “protests” seems a little suspicious.)

An article from Eater criticized the role BA played in the appropriating and whitewashing of many cultures’ ingredients and cuisines (gochujang, Aleppo pepper, and sumac seem to be some of BA’s favorite ingredients) that had become prevalent in food media in recent years.

While it’s a fairly minor offense in comparison, it may also be worth bringing up the time Rapoport accidentally called Priya Krishna “Sohla,” the name of his other Indian employee.

Monday, June 8th

Food writer Tammie Teclemariam posted a screencap of an Instagram post made by Rapoport’s wife, which depicted the two of them donning Puerto Rican stereotypes as Halloween costumes, brownface and all.    

Many were quick to declare their outrage and demand that Rapoport either resign or be fired.  Meanwhile, Sohla El-Waylly, one of the leading stars of the Youtube channel, was one of the first BA employees to speak up, and disclosed that this kind of behavior was just the tip of the iceberg.  She said that BIPOC workers have been paid disproportionately for their work, including not being paid a per-video commission that the white stars of the Youtube channel receive. 

Molly Baz, one of the aforementioned white stars, announced that she would no longer make videos for BA until all of El-Waylly’s demands were met.  One by one, their white coworkers chimed in in agreement.  

Former staff photographer Alex Lau also wrote an extensive tweet thread about his experiences at BA, including how he had futilely tried to fix the system from within.

By the end of Monday, Adam Rapoport had resigned from his position as Editor-in-Chief.

Tuesday, June 9th  

Since Rapoport’s official resignation did little to fix many of the systemic problems in place at BA, many began to turn their attention to other senior members of the staff.

Some came for Andrew Knowlton, the Restaurant Editor, for behaviors such as gaslighting an employee for trying to bring up racist practices in the offices.

Others called out Matthew Duckor, a VP at Conde Nast and BA’s former “Head of Video” (Did a 3 year old come up with that job title?), for a series of old racist and homophobic tweets.  He tried to apologize by saying that he was young and didn’t know any better at the time, but many were quick to point out that he was, at the youngest, 20, aka for all intents and purposes An Adult when he wrote those tweets. 

Tammie Teclemariam returned to ask current and former BA employees to DM her information about Duckor that they didn’t want to go public with themselves, ranging from his hand in the aforementioned pay disparity to making inappropriate comments towards women.

Teclemariam also did even more social media muckraking and found that Drinks Editor Alex Delany had once decorated a cake to look like a Confederate flag, while others found things like a Vine where he says the f-slur and some questionable comments about women on this Tumblr.  He later deleted his Tumblr and Twitter, and issued a cookie-cutter apology on his Instagram.

She also vague-tweeted that Brad Leone, one of the most beloved stars of the Youtube channel, is “possibly not a great guy,” but later added, “don’t fret.” At that point, some began to accuse her of just trying to stir the pot.

Ultimately, Matt Hunziker, director and camera operator for Leone’s show, reported that the higher ups were ignoring the situation regarding the pay disparity, and that they were not “learning and growing.”

Wednesday, June 10th

By this point, journalists were able to do more thorough investigations and put together exposés that were more than a blurb about an accusation followed by a nut graph.

Business Insider published an article where they interviewed 14 current and former BIPOC employees of Bon Appetit.  In addition to information already discussed above, it also described events such as an incident where several BIPOC staffers were told they weren’t allowed the test kitchen. (Carla Lalli Music, the Food Director at the time, would later defend her stance in the affair on Twitter.)  Ryan Walker-Hartshorn, a black woman who served as Rapoport’s personal assistant, recalled that she would often spend her day doing menial tasks like polishing her boss’s golf clubs or trying to teach his wife how to use Google Calendar.  In another incident, Knolton called Rick Martinez a “one trick pony” for only developing Mexican recipes, which is what he was being forced to do so BA could tout “diversity” bonus points.  Martinez would also say that the magazine under Rapoport’s tenure “went from old and irrelevant and white-washed content to young and trendy white-washed content." (Martinez would also upload a more graphic description of the treatment he received  to his Instagram that same day.) Later that day, Business Insider would also report that Duckor had left the company.

Vice would liken Rapoport to Michael Scott from The Office, but noted that that kind of bumbling, endearingly insensitive bad boss archetype isn’t as charming in the real world where real employees are being affected.  Parallels were also drawn between the Youtube channel and The Office itself, stating that the “quirky workplace” facade put on in the videos helped hide the more sinister practices that lurked beneath the surface, and that the notion that they were “one big family” often pressured BIPOC into doing more than their fair share for the greater good.

Jezebel showed email transcripts where Rapoport argued the semantics of having his costume be called “brownface” when he wasn’t wearing makeup, and had to be explained to, like a child, that the term refers to the racist caricature and not the literal act of putting brown makeup on one’s face.  What a douche.

Bon Appetit published an official apology on their site, a whole two days after the controversy began.  Many believed that their empty promises of “learning from their mistakes” were a day late and a dollar short.

Meanwhile, on Twitter, former BA writer Alyse Whitney said that senior editor Andy Baraghani had, on several occasions, used his influence to undermine her efforts. Whether this had to do with racism, sexism, or just Andy being petty is up for debate, but still constitutes as unprofessional behavior to say the least.

Thursday, June 11th

As interest in the story seemed to wane for many in the industry, Claire Saffitz, arguably the face of the Youtube channel, released another statement on her Instagram.  She said that her relative silence was due to taking time to find the right words, and that the same-old promises to “learn and grow” that most had been giving felt empty and performative. Unlike many of her white coworkers, she directly apologized for being complicit in the toxic environment  and for not using her status to try to leverage even pay for her BIPOC coworkers.  

Another BA Youtube personality, Amiel Stanek, also released a statement in response to BA’s official press release, where he demanded Conde Nast to stop avoiding action by setting vague timelines for changes or making excuses for not giving BIPOC workers raises like “the money just isn’t there.”

Associate editor Christina Chaey also opened up about her experiences with being pushed into more and more videos to “diversify” them- all without compensation.  

Friday, June 12th

The biggest scandal of the day was that, as Teclemariam predicted, Brad Leone is possibly not a great guy.  A leaked screenshot of an Instagram DM showed him making callous, almost Trump-y comments regarding El-Waylly’s demand for better pay.  He also allegedly said that if Delany were to be fired (as of that day he had been sent on leave), he would quit.

Saturday, June 13th

The New York Times published an article suggesting that the issues prevalent in BA’s management may go all the way to the top of Conde Nast.  Highlights include Chief Executive Roger Lynch chastising the whistleblowers within the company for raising their concerns in such a public manner and an account of an incident where he gave his black assistant a guidebook on how to speak “proper” English.

The Sporkful released a special episode of their podcast containing interviews with several current and former BA BIPOC workers.  Nikita Richardson divulged that after she was laid off, a story she had already done all the leg work for was picked up and credited to Amanda Shapiro, a white staff writer who is now acting Editor-in-Chief in lieu of Rapoport.  Sohla El-Waylly confirmed that the self-congratulatory editorial Rapoport wrote in the wake of George Floyd’s death was the real beginning of the end, and that the racist photo was just the final straw.  She also described a company-wide Zoom meeting held after the photo began to be spread around where Rapoport issued a half-hearted apology, and began talking about how he would “fix the brand” before El-Waylly demanded he resigned.  Furthermore, she revealed that after her Instagram posts began circulating rapidly, Duckor had offered her a new contract with increased pay, but she is refusing to sign it until all BIPOC have received similar compensation.  She also said that she had a hand in the wishy-washy statement that BA had published on Wednesday, and said that it originally had taken much firmer stances on the issues but their PR office made them tone it down.  Also, she commented that Leone, for the most part, just seemed like she “genuinely think[s] [that he] just found out racism is real.”  Ultimately, she was glad that the story was getting as much coverage as it was, since it made her feel that her voice was finally being heard.

Sunday, June 14th

Baraghani released a statement on Instagram apologizing for his behavior, saying that trying to achieve his personal goals in BA’s toxic, competitive environment made him lose sight of solidarity with his fellow BIPOC.  

While that may seem like the end of the story for now, it’s important to note that, even with the resignation of two executives, nothing has truly been done to fix the systemic problems at hand.

#bon appetit #adam rapoport #matt duckor #alex delany #sohla el waylly #molly baz #carla lalli music #andy baraghani #brad leone #clair saffitz #amiel stanek #tw racism #tw homophobia #tw sexism