#me and my friends are all nd so there were time where we stimmed in sync and it was *chef's kiss*

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Re. Autism meltdown

I wasn’t diagnosed until my late 30s. Meltdowns were always perceived as negative or indulgent behaviour, and therefore punishable. Had no choice but to train myself not to demonstrate them in an outward fashion, if that makes sense. What I do however, when I’m feeling utterly overwhelmed, is more like a complete shut down. I’ll just become catatonic for hours… locked away somewhere deep inside my subconscious. Somebody knock the lights off and dump a weighted blanket on me for the love of Christ! Entirely non verbal, typically I’ll sit on my hands to prevent stimming. Feels like I’m imploding in excruciating slow motion - rage in part, but mostly shame - unfortunately I cannot project the feeling outside of myself. Even though I am not actively doing anything, I emerge from these “shut downs” exhausted and tearful… often desperate to go pee, as I’ve held it for hours. I am not reprimanded for these episodes, but neither am I commended for sparing people the “observer discomfort” that an outward meltdown would. Honestly, I feel as though I might enjoy a good scream and maybe launching a stuffed toy across the room… I just have no idea how to go about it.

Hi there,

I’ll do my best to help. I found an article going over shutdowns. It gives some tips that might help:

Sleep, sleep, sleep. A long rest is preferred but any bit of sleep helps.

As you’re coming out of the shutdown, you might experience an “emotional hangover.” In this case go easy on yourself and do recharging things like watching a movie or playing your favorite game.

Lean into the shutdown, it won’t last forever and you’ll feel better once it’s done

Watch out for what Samantha Craft, an Autistic blogger, refers to as “Implosive Thoughts” before and after the shutdown. It is similar to the shame spiral described in our Meltdown article.

Get to a safe space where you can lay down, preferably a sensory friendly place where you can be alone or with a person you trust.

Take the time you need before re-engaging. Practice some Neurodivergent affirming self care.

For Partners, Friends, Family, Bosses, Teachers, etc.

Leave the Autistic person alone. If you’re worried about them, check in gently every once in a while. Bring them food and water.

Give them time. After a shutdown, Autistics will probably need a lot of time and space to recover. It can take up to a few days. It’s nothing personal.

Understand why the shutdown happened and try to reduce any triggers you may be responsible for.

Do not push them to “snap out of it.” Doing so may harm them.

Don’t touch the person unless they give their express permission. Ask before touching.

Educate yourself on Autistic processes and traits. Understand the signs of Autistic shutdowns and meltdowns.

I’ll leave the article below in case you’d like to read through it.

I also found an personal article a person wrote about their own experience:

“We don’t talk about shutdowns as often, I think, because they are often a bit more invisible than a meltdown would be, because it’s not so much of an inconvenience on other people.

I am sitting very, still sitting, very quiet, not speaking, probably staring at the floor, at something, or out a window, and I’m just going to freeze up for a while, and I won’t be bothering anybody. Depending on the situation, or the circumstance, an Autistic shutdown could potentially go completely unnoticed.

The other thing about shutdowns is, because they often, for me, will happen when I am in very intense, emotional situations, me just shutting down and going blank all of a sudden… something I have very little control over, is sometimes taken as intentionally “shutting down a conversation” or “stonewalling” or “refusing to engage”.

“That’s because people who don’t shut down don’t understand what it’s like to suddenly become locked in on yourself like that.”

This will also be below if you want to read more:

I hope these sources can help. I’ll also tag @autistic-af and @krisrisk to see if they can provide more information/advice.

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[baladric]

hey sorry if this totally out of line but I think you've talked on here about being both adhd & autistic? do you happen to have any resources or recommendations of people to follow or sth etc about that? I'm increasingly thinking that that's me and a lot of the stuff I'm finding is only about one or the other and i dont quite relate to it or else it's flat out ableist bullshit -- id really just like to be able to see more from people who are kinda similar ish

omggg, hello, friend!!!!!

i personally don't have any resources except my psychiatrist, who corroborated my hunches from the jump and periodically has things to say about the absolutely bonkers overlap b/t adhd, the autism spectrum, and (a much less discussed thing) ocd. it's all neurodivergence, which means the paths our brains tread sometimes share patterns (esp sensory issues b/t adhd & autism, and a desperate need for set routines b/t autism & ocd, etc) and comorbid a whole lot more than we really discuss. my suspicion is there just hadn't been enough serious research (unbiased double-blinds and such) into neurodivergence as whole, and so it's not quite understood how exactly they all overlap, and where the borders are between them (and even if there really are borders)

the few sort of. idk, things that helped me recognize myself were videos my best friend sent me on tiktok, and i famously loathe tiktok and am not on there but if you find the right ones they're actually super super helpful. largely bc it's real people relating their lived experiences, and also bc sometimes it's like people on the forefront of neuropsychology or presently in school for it, talking about stuff.

i will say, if it helps at all, that my path has been an extremely wonky one that i think has a whole lot to do with alexithymia (inability to name your emotions) where i never identified with the really simplistic language of autistic and adhd symptoms, bc like. for example, i had never thought hard enough about how loud sudden sounds effect me to realize that yes, it is the experience of physical pain that's described as part of neurodivergent sensory issues—a phraseology that i really did not identify with the first hundred times i read about it, because i just don't think abt myself in simple concepts like pain. and on and on like that.

i haven't sought formal diagnosis for a few reasons, but imo "diagnosis" is a weird bar to set. i know several deeply ND people who tested negative for adhd, and one negative for autism, and like man, i personally escaped any concern from teachers or family for my entire life, despite the lens of hindsight i have now that so so loudly says that was an autistic adhd child in egregious amounts of daily distress—because i speak well (one teacher called me "silver-tongued" in a disciplinary meeting in college, which was like Damn Okay, You Beethoven-Lookin Walnut) so it's all extremely weird and hazy!

bc i'm bad at compiling resources myself, my (deeply virgo) best friend has a few suggestions!

blog post of resources for autism, ADHD, and AuDHD (this is GOLD)

generally searching "AuDHD" on tiktok turns up some good first-hand/lived experience resources (lots of talk about stimming that we don't necessarily recognize as stimming, which helped me SO much bc oh shit i am actually constantly stimming huh????)

a few folks on twitter: Structured Success (whose handle is StructuredSucc which is just.... so incredible that i have to lie down now.......), AutisticCallum_, and AutisticCoach_

i'm sure there's ppl on tumblr talking about audhd too, so if any of my followers have those, pls comment and i'll add them in!!! (and follow them myself ;akdfjalwdj)

i hope this was helpful at all, and if you have any questions or anything i'm very open to talking about this!! honestly i would love for more of us to learn this shit abt ourselves earlier in life than i did, bc my lack of understanding of how my brain works instilled so, so much shame in me. this was ofc because of the rhetoric teachers & family members threw at me while i was growing up (didn't do homework despite being "gifted"? Laziness. never cleaned room? Slob/Lazy. very subtle tantrums from overstim that i repressed so hard they looked like sullenness from the outside? Ungrateful or Rude. couldn't ever make friends? Shy, Awkward, Boring, Weird, Cold, Unfriendly, Unaccomodating.) and, you know. the shit ppl say in your formative years has a tendency to stick lmfaoooo so i'm still rooting that poison out, you know? so please, please ask me—and i'll say, much like transness, if you're wondering about this? probably the answer is yes, and that's honestly a wonderful fucking thing, 100% fully believe that. understanding myself in this way has saved my life, bc i know myself now and can now hold grace for myself and advocate for my needs.

this is SO long i'm sorry anyway hey anon if you got through this monster of a post, i LOVE you, you're doing so so good and i am handing you and orange and one of the very happy zinnias from my front yard <3 <3 <3

#audhd #autism #adhd #neurodivergence #aj answers #anonymous ask #ask

[clockwork-reads]

Brief Book Reviews #6

Starting off the year strong. Let’s get down to business.

#1 Tabitha Carvan, This Is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch

The TL;DR version of this review is read this book I beg of you. The long version is as such: Carvan touches on a lot of very good points during her journey to accepting that she, a middle aged mother of two, is allowed to like things, while combating the shame she felt growing up in the eighties when being shamed out of male-dominated fan spaces because of the disgust around girls liking anything (insert rolling eyes emoji), and unlearning the “not like other girls” mindset when in fan spaces, all while coming to accept that her fangirling over a British actor with a weird name is a normal thing. I read out parts of it to my mother, and she and I ended up having very interesting discussions over those parts. She’s in her sixties and has been teaching for some thirty odd years, and she feels a lot of what the author has felt in her lifetime. I’m (about) half of Carvan’s age, and I can relate: I pointed to paragraphs frantically while saying “THIS. 100% THIS.” because I had lived these experiences in my own way, seen them happen to friends and loved ones. Yes, even the part about falling in love with Britishguy Strangename. To get personal, I too, was caught up in the Cumbermania of 2012-14, during a time where things were kinda rough for seventeen year old me. I needed a Prince Charming, and Mr Tall And Cheekboned was right there. He was my Prince Charming, even if I knew we’d never meet face-to-face or take me as his secret teenage lover. And sometimes, that’s what you need. 

The message I took away was one I’ve been telling myself for years, but was nice to hear from some total stranger who wrote a book: You’re allowed to like things. 100% read this book, and if it’s on your TBR, bump it up a few spots. 

#2 Chloe Hayden, Different Not Less

I’m so happy I picked this up. If you’re not living under a rock and you’ve watched Heartbreak High on Netflix (awesome Aussie drama, 100% worth it), then you’ll recognise Chloe Hayden as the actress who plays Quinni, who is the best autistic representation I’ve ever seen in recent history. Hayden herself is an AuDHD woman, and Different Not Less goes into her experiences growing up. And, oof. I’ve been there. I won’t go into it, but if you’re autistic/have adhd, you’ll be able to relate, too. 

On top of being a bit of a memoir, the book also goes into how to help neurodivergent kids and adults when they’re having meltdowns/shutdowns, how to identify when you’re going into one, ways of stimming that are helpful, how to handle life as an autistic adult (it sucks, I speak from experience), and how it’s important to use your voice to demand accessibility and inclusion. Also I like how Hayden mentions that she is legally allowed to hunt down “autism moms” for sport, because she’s right. People like that are utter scum. Seriously, if you’re ND, or a parent/guardian/carer of an ND person/child, please pick up this book. And fuck anyone who says that you can’t be proud of being neurodivergent. Especially the neurotypical losers who call themselves experts and talk over us. Sorry we don’t fit into your perfect little boxes, ya squares. Me and my favourite tangle will take our business elsewhere.

We need more books like this by neurodivergent people instead of normies acting like they speak for us making up bullshit. If by chance Chloe Hayden sees this: Hi, I love you, thank you for existing you magnificent bean. <3

#3 Ruby Dixon, Ice Planet Barbarians (Book 1 of the Ice Planet Barbarians series)

LISTEN. I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER READ A SPICY BOOK. BUT THIS ONE'S GOOD I PROMISE.

Tbh I was nervous about picking up this one. It was the only book for teratophiles I could find at the shop and I'd been debating as to whether or not it was worth the read. Sure there's lots of alien nookie in it, but the romance between Georgie, one of the humans who was abducted as part of an alien slave trade, and Vektal, the chieftain of the paleolithic Sa'khui who inhabit the ice planet, is believable and adorable. I want a man like that. I remember watching a review of it a while back on YouTube that made it out to be silly, but I think it was worth revisiting. The sex is well written, too, it’s all consensual and sweet, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a better visualisation of Sa’khui...anatomy. Don’t look at me like that, you’d want one of them as a lover too if you read the book. I think I like Liz the most, she’s the kind of girl I’d get along with very well- I haven’t read the book where she’s off on her own with her mate, but I’m sure she keeps him on a short leash. 

My one complaint is that it was so short, so the plot kind of feels rushed, but it’s a romance novel, and I’ve learned that romance novels like these will sometimes have rushed plots. Other than that, I think I’ll be indulging in more blue alien goodness in future. Some warnings for rape that happens off screen, and some minor character death, so if you’re not okay with that, then you’re welcome to give it a miss. 

seriously tho why can't I have a hot alien husband who only wants to love and protect me. >T

#bookblr #brief book reviews #tbrbusterchallenge2023 #bookbanditchallenge

[babymagi]

So I just got back from the Demon Slayer movie...

...honestly, a piece of me has died.

I did get a funny story out of it though.

Y'know how at the end when the crows are telling all the other Hashira about "what happened" and the last one is Tomioka...

Yeah, I stimmed so hard that I pulled a muscle for like half a minute.

And then outside the theatre, I said to my friends that were with me, "I would pay that man to step on me but I cross the line at pulling my hamstrings. Never gonna forgive him for that."

MY DAD WHO DROVE US TO THE THEATRE HEARD THAT AND I-

Great movie tho, 10/10 will be watching again.

#not magi related #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #oh btw i cried for like five minutes #it was absolutely incredible tho and i had a great time #me and my friends are all nd so there were time where we stimmed in sync and it was *chef's kiss*

[felinedetached]

Fandom Ableism in the MCYT Community

[Edited 14 June 2021]

One thing I’ve noticed about the MCYT (Dream SMP, specifically) community on both Tumblr and Twitter is that when informed of things that are ableist, or harmful to ND people, a lot of people ignore the post/tweet, derail it or actively fight against it.

“I’m ND so I can’t be ableist” is a common statement, which is blatantly untrue. Even I’ve used ableist terms and phrases before, without realising they were harmful. So as a neurodivergent person, with autism, BPD, depression/anxiety, dyslexia, psychosis & brain damage*: here’s some common ableist things both CCs and fandom say almost constantly**.

*note that not every neurodivergent person will agree with me on these, but these are commonly ableist things people have previously talked about online, and/or have been discussed between me and other neurodivergent friends. No minority can ever speak for the entire group.

**note that a lot of these are common outside the MCYT community as well, and that some of these are just considered societally acceptable. This isn’t okay, but it explains why a lot of people don’t recognise jokes or comments like these are wrong, and it means that it’s not a direct moral failing of people that they don’t immediately or directly recognise these comments as wrong.

Now, let’s get into the things you might not have realised are potentially ableist:

1. Use of “Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath/Schizo” and other demeaning terms for people with mental illnesses as insults, or to describe characters who are considered villainous. Psychopath/Psycho/Sociopath are already terms that people with ASPD dislike using, even not as an insult, but using these terms to describe people or characters who you disagree with or see as villainous only contributes to the villainisation of people with ASPD and other mental illnesses. Using c!Dream as an example: Dream as a character is not confirmed to have any of these mental illnesses. He is, however, commonly labeled as psychotic/psychopathic, incapable of any kind of compassion.

He is also a character that fandom largely insists that nobody is allowed to sympathise with. This is a huge issue, and has hurt a lot of people, especially people with low empathy, or mental illnesses that cause them to relate to some of c!Dream’s actions (e.g. pulling away from all his friends, desperately grasping at straws to gain control of situations etc). Insisting that these characters are characters it’s impossible to sympathise with, all while calling them psychotic/psychopathic/sociopathic, is extremely harmful, and I hope this post draws attention to that.

Here’s another post that talks about that.

2. Use of the term “freak”, in general. As an insult, “freak” has been typically used to insult neurodivergent people, people with visible physical disabilities (ex. “freakshow”, and the term was reportedly created with the intent of insulting people with physical disabilities), or people who display any kind of abnormal/atypical social behaviour/physical aspects — people who are usually ND people who lack a diagnosis or people with physical disabilities. Recent usage has come to mean “people who do things that hurt other people”, but this is harmful as well; using words like “freak” or “weirdo” which mean “socially atypical behaviour” to refer to people who are actually doing things that hurt other people conflates the two, and often has a side effect of hurting disabled people who see it.

3. Calling ND ccs like Technoblade monotone/emotionless. While the term “monotone” isn’t ableist in and of itself, the fact that it’s being used against a neurodivergent man who emotes in a different way to neurotypical people rubs a lot of ND people the wrong way. I’ve partially discussed this here, in a tweet responding to a person who said that c!Technoblade, quote, “has no human capabilities like emotion for example”. This, however, is not something contained to c!Technoblade — one of the most common jokes in this fandom is how rare it is to hear emotion in Technoblade’s voice.

The issue with that is that neurodivergent people almost universally agree that Technoblade emotes perfectly fine, and, in fact, emotes more freely and clearly than a lot of others do. Hence, calling him monotone perpetuates the idea of ND people as emotionless/less able to be hurt/less expressive, which often hurts us. It also contributes to the dehumanisation of ND people — related to how ND symptoms are most often seen in robots or monsters in shows — and is generally extremely harmful, on top of being untrue.

4. Related to point 3: the infantilisation of ND ccs like Tubbo and Dream, usually paired with assigning “caretakers” of their friends, like Tommy and George. This is about the posts that spread like “omg, Tommy helps Tubbo with his dyslexia, that’s so cute” or “omg George is so patient with Dream, I could never sit through that” on videos of Dream vocally stimming because of his ADHD. This is another post that talks about this, but I wanted to talk more about why this is harmful here.

4a) With Tubbo’s dyslexia, from someone with dyslexia, it isn’t harmful to correct his spelling and move on. Personally, I think this is helpful — others will think it’s condescending, because not all ND people are the same — but as the above linked post mentions, this is not what Tubbo’s twitch chat does. This is not what the comments say. It’s all things about how it’s “so cute” that Tubbo can’t spell, how Tommy/Ranboo are “so patient” with correcting him. This is rooted in the need to constantly watch over ND people while acting like we can't live our lives without someone having us under constant vigilance. It feels like savior-complex ableism, like people are trying so hard to not be ableist that they spin back around to hurting us instead. And it feels like we are being treated like children. Like we are lesser than, and need to be monitored/watched over.

4b) Similarly to what people do with Tubbo, the comments on posts about Dream’s vocal stimming are often full of people calling George “patient” for “dealing with it”, or claiming they “wouldn’t be able to handle it”. This is inherently ableist. They’re praising George for basic human decency towards ND people, and claiming in the same breath that they wouldn’t be able to do that themselves. And then there’s these.

These comments infantilise Dream — claiming he “wouldn’t be able to stop/calm down” without George’s help, implying he’d “spiral out of control” or claiming “everyone is now my child”. It’s all related to the infantilisation of ND people, and the belief that without help/a caretaker we cannot take care of ourselves.

5. The way people treat ccs who likely have undiagnosed neurodivergencies, like Wilbur. Wilbur has openly admitted on stream before that his parents considered getting him an autism diagnosis. He also openly admits on stream that he has habits he doesn’t understand why he does, and hyperfixates on things for months at a time and doesn’t know why. Posts like this have gone around Tumblr, in which Wilbur displays blatantly ND traits.

And fandom generally calls him weird for expressing those traits. This video where he talks about eating sand because he likes the texture? That’s an ND trait. This video where he talks about his irrational hatred for anteaters? While mostly a joke, irrational hatred of something when you can’t explain/understand/articulate why is also a common ND trait. He spends 20 minutes during a Philza stream info-dumping about self-sustaining ecosystems (sharing the photo, because I think it’s really cool) and fandom begins calling them “Wilbur’s weird jars”. It’s demeaning to people who infodump, and as a ND person who hyperfixates and infodumps it’s really upsetting to see. It’s also upsetting to see other ND traits being called “weird” or “freaky” & made out to be soley some funny joke for NT people to laugh at us about.

Additionally: It’s strange to me that people think it’s okay to make fun of ND traits just because they know that or perceive that the person they’re making fun of is NT. It’s still making fun of ND traits. It’s still insulting ND people. It’s still ableist as hell. Why is it okay just because the person is NT?

6. Implying that c!Ranboo’s enderwalking is inherently violent. Ranboo has shown us time and time again that the enderwalk state isn’t a violent state. That the enderwalk state isn’t a seperate version of c!Ranboo that does horrific things. Why, then, is it so common to imply that Ranboo would be violent and hurt people why he’s enderwalking?

It comes back to the perception of c!Ranboo as a character with “two halves”, or as a character with DID. Ranboo has made it clear that his character does not have DID, but this headcanon about his character persists, and it persists in a way that is directly harmful to people with DID — and to people who dissociate or sleepwalk. We do not commit horrific acts while we dissociate, while we’re sleepwalking, because the majority of the time we’re just checked out, our body is on autopilot. Insinuating that we do is harmful. Insinuating that Ranboo has “another half” that’s inherently violent or evil is harmful to people with DID. I’m not going to ask you to stop writing these headcanons etc, but please consider the effect you have on people before you do.

7. Related to point 6: the perception of c!Ranboo as “soft” and “cute” and/or perfectly moral because of his canonical anxiety. This is really harmful, and comes once again from the infantilisation of disorders like anxiety and depression. Ranboo has made clear time and time again that his character isn’t moral, and in fact is extremely inconsistent. He’s portrayed his character as inconsistent, as someone who hurts his friends unintentionally and often due to his want to please everyone, and yet he’s constantly seen as “soft/pure/the only moral one” because of his anxiety causing to have repeated and consistent spirals on-screen. These spirals are not healthy. They don’t indicate his “perfect morals” or make him more moral than anyone else on the SMP. Please stop infantilising people with anxiety, it’s really hurtful.

8. Implying that c!Technoblade is inherently a violent person because of his voices. I’ll admit here: my hallucinations are visual. I do not get auditory hallucinations, and I cannot speak for people who do. But many people have spoken out about this, and discussed how talking about Technoblade as an inherently violent character because of his voices is harmful, and a stereotype of people with schizophrenia.

Technoblade’s character is, in and of itself, inherently a stereotype (despite the fact that his chat are more likely to be a supernatural entity than a symptom of a disorder such as schizophrenia) in that the idea of “hearing voices that encourage violence” is a stereotype of people with schizophrenia. As an actual symptom, is a very uncommon one. More common auditory hallucinations for people with schizophrenia or psychosis are, reportedly, whispers or unrelated conversation. One of my friends hears screaming.

But the issue is with the implication that c!Technoblade is “driven to violence” by the voices. Canonically, he has dealt with the “bloodlust” of chat by grinding withers. He’s perfectly capable of being peaceful, even with “voices pushing for violence”, and he’s perfectly capable of being violent without the “voices” influence. It’s the connotations and the history that fandom has in demonising and villainising c!Technoblade for even having the “voices” in the first place, and acting having them makes him inherently violent and unstable. There’s precedent for that already in society, and it’s not okay to perpetuate it.

[Edit: as of 22/05/2021, I do experience auditory hallucinations, and I can confirm that I am not any more violent, and the voices I hear don’t push me to violence. The clearest one just said ‘click’ in my ear.]

9. Jokes about brain damage and the use of “brainrot” as a term. I made a post about how common jokes about brain damage are here, and I would like to reiterate bits of it.

Jokes like these are really really normalized in modern society. I’m sure a lot of you didn’t even register it as wrong, and that isn’t a moral failing! It’s a norm in society, and that means the majority of people arent going to register it as something hurtful, because it’s said so often. But it does still hurt. The idea of using a disability as an insult is really harmful and it feels dehumanizing, like our disability makes us lesser, something that should be laughed at.

“Brainrot” as a term originated in Skyrim, as a disease that literally rotted your brain. However, as a term, it has very similar connotations to “brain damaged” and has been used in similarly joking and insulting ways. It’s something that feels really off to me and other neurodivergent people to see used by neurotypical people. It even sometimes feels uncomfortable when used by neurodivergent people, even if it’s used in positive ways. I know quite a few people who have removed it from their vocab completely because of the connotations, and I have personally done the same. Once again, I am just asking you to please consider your words before you use them.

10. Calling c!Wilbur during his Pogtopia Arc “Vilbur”. Yes, he was a villain. Yes, he hurt people. But c!Wilbur during the Pogtopia Arc only has one major difference from c!Wilbur during the L’Manburg Arc: a visible depiction of mental illness, specifically paranoia and psychosis. Treating him as a seperate person and calling that seperate person “Vilbur” comes across as extremely hurtful, and contributes to the villainisation of mentally ill people. His mental illness does not excuse him from hurting people, but calling c!Wilbur “Vilbur” upsets a lot of us, because wether or not it’s intended, it feels reductive, hurtful, and insulting.

If you got to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading. I hope that this helped you recognise things that you might not have known were ableist, and that you consider what I’ve said here. I also know that I haven’t addressed everything ableist that’s spread through the MCYT fandom community, so if you’re ND and have something you’d like to add, please feel free.

#mcyt #dream smp #dreamwastaken #wilbur soot #technoblade #ranboo #tubbo #tagging these bc they're ccs i specifically mention relating to it #ableism tw #the queen's commands #i know this is a long post with a lot of words #(2.2k omg) #i tried to condense it as much as possible while still getting my point across #pls rb this but don't try and derail the post #my last post abt fandom ableism got derailed by ppl who wanted to be anti c!technoblade instead #its rlly sad bc. it feels like #ppl don't care abt ableism. and that sucks #i'm not gonna say you have to rb but it would be nice #if you want me to tag any neg lmk #i will do so #LMAO I DO EXPERIENCE AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS NOW HELP

[jackhammerhim]

My life the past couple of months figuring out my neurodivergence:

Me: what is wrong with me

Me: I'm going to research neurodiverse things

Me: wow this is so cool.

Me: do I have adhd

Me: no I can't have adhd, I'm not hyperactive and i don't have all of the symptoms

Me: I think I have adhd

Me: I don't I need to stop pretending

Me: I've researched this a lot, I think I definitely have ADHD

Me: Maybe I am autistic too? No I don't relate to all of this, only some of the symptoms, plus I don't really have any sensory issues I don't think

Me: maybe I'm just faking having ADHD

Me: I have ADHD

Me: Maybe I have a sensory processing disorder? But I don't have nearly as much problems with texture/smell/sound/taste as the other people I've met with sensory processing disorder though

Me: I think I have an auditory processing disorder. Yeah. I do. It makes so much sense.

Me: do I have ASD?

Me: pretty sure I'm just ADHD and APD

Me: oh. I think. I think that response to anger. I think that was a meltdown. Do people with ADHD have meltdowns? Hmmmm... Are ADHD and ASD meltdowns the same?

Me: wait there's sensory seeking too

Me: I'm a sensory seeker

Me: maybe I am autistic

Me: but there's sensory processing disorder too

Me: there's the routine thing too.

Me: but ADHD makes me not be able to do routine and then feel guilty about it

Me: but when someone else is enforcing the routine I follow it and freak out if it changes and I don't know about it beforehand

Me: what if they're masking eachother

Me: I do have some sensory issues and have some foods I still can't eat because the texture still makes me want to throw up after almost a decade. Sometimes sounds hurt. Like plastic crinkling and the door banging even softly. You do the tiptoes. Loud noises are stressful sometimes. You get sensory overload kind of often. But you're not a picky eater for the most part. Tight clothes are hell. Lights give you headaches. You can hear the lights and sometimes it makes you cry.

Me: but I think I am pretty good with social cues most of the time

Me: but I can't tell when people are fighting or playing and couldn't tell that two kids were fighting fighting because I thought they were just playing. And most of the time when I'm in a group of neurotypicals I don't understand the cues

Me: maybe I think I understand social cues because all of my old friends are nd because we flocked to each other, like how we all slowly came out as LGBT because we attracted one another with our vibes

Me: I'm pretty good at doing social cues

Me: but when I'm too tired to/don't want to mask my ADHD I also don't really do them unless it's just talking or thumbs up. Maybe some laughing and smiling.

Me: and I don't understand sarcasm very well unless it's from me or another nd person

Me: I stim a lot. But is this kind of stimming the ADHD or the ASD stimming. Is there a difference.

Me: have I been masking this entire time and actually don't get social cues

Me: I don't know what the truth is anymore

Me: I don't think I've ever really had a special interest

Me: was that year long Pokemon obsession where the only thing I thought about was Pokemon and the only thing I drew was Pokemon and the only thing I talked about to the people I trusted was Pokemon and all I watched was pokemon. Was that a special interest or an intense hyperfixation. What about the snakes and the bunnies. Those both lasted years.

Me: what about Minecraft

Me: that went on for a few years and has just died down a bit for a while and has come back full swing again this year

Me: but

Me: what

Me: what is the truth

Me: I don't

Me: what

#adhd stuff #adhd symptoms #actually adhd #adhd #neurodivergent #autism #sensory processing disorder #auditory processing disorder #apd #asd #autistic maybe? #please help #i don't even know #AHK- #actually neurodivergent #casper is nd and a prick

[dreamteamspace]

We hit 400 so here’s a- ✨ DREAM APPRECIATION ESSAY ✨

(by Yours Truly. Much thanks to the one, innocent anon who just wanted to ask a small talk question but hit my serotonin-providing hyperfixation.)

1. Self-esteem

I love the way he’s confident in his abilities when it’s become such a “trend” to either be completely and utterly self-depricating about your own skills out of fear of being labelled an asshole or overconfident nowadays.

At the same time you can still tell he doesn’t want to pull anyone down ever, and will always be really careful with that and take every oppertunity to lift up the people around him. Dream has a very emotional voice that gives him away a lot, so you can really tell he genuinely admires the people around him and he’s never afraid to say that they could totally easily beat him in something if he doesn’t have practice with it.

He tends to be a bit too hard on himself, so his friends always encourage him in his abilities, and that’s just. So nice. He celebrates his victories! He gets so so excited and happy when he wins in the manhunts, and I think celebrating your hard-earned victories isn’t something that should be villanized.

He won, and we should KNOW by now that doesn’t mean he thinks he’s somehow better than everyone. He has a pretty good eye on his abilities, and that allows him to really use them to the max.

2. Morality

He isn’t afraid to change the game! His adhd picks out a Cool New Thing and he just goes, You know what? Why not! His adhd goes “do this thing repeatedly another 3847 times” and he’s like, yeah sure!

Nobody expected him to release a song, but he just went for it! He’s been speedrunning so much, but he isn’t afraid to stream it every day 5 days in a row for hours while his friends bicker in the background.

Dream genuinely does the things he finds fun, but at the same time puts in so much effort to make them good and entertaining to watch and never forgets about his viewers.

He’s kidfriendly because he wants to be! Fame-wise, at this point he could definitly swear more if he wanted to (and he does when in other people’s content who don’t care about swearing), but despite that he doesn’t swear on his main because he wants his content to be accessable for everyone.

Sure, on one hand it could be for clout/money, but consider: Dream doesn’t stream the DSMP because he doesn’t want to take attention away from other people. He participates in the videos of his friends. He lets compilation channels and the like do whatever they want and even monetize his content. He lets his friends stream Road Trip on twitch as much as they want for free.

Dream doesn’t not swear just for his fanbase, but he does it because he has so so much respect for people. No matter how high he goes, he’s always consciously focused on respecting and admiring the people around him.

He has genuine respect for creators so much smaller than him, and he has respect for people in his fanbase that are younger than him. He isn’t afraid to go against the norm and STAND for that, either (see the video where he defends his stans).

And he defends his friends so much too! So much so it could almost be a little bit of a flaw sometimes, but I feel like he truly wants to learn from his mistakes. He apologizes for things even when nobody asked him to, and that just shows that he does it out of genuine guilt and fear of hurting someone.

He’s always seemed like someone who is genuinely willing to change to be a better version of himself, who isn’t afraid to challenge what he thinks and what other people think and what the norm thinks in order to improve everything for everyone.

Dream also doesn’t let any of the fame get to his head! As I said before - he’s confident in the things he’s good at, but in a way that doesn’t pull other people down, and he still remains firmly admirable of other people.

And even when OTHER people let fame get to their head (it was a while ago, but there was a video he made about five block jumps, where he added in a clip of a video of another guy doing it complete with credit and link etc. The guy was 100% alright with it at first, but when his video started getting more views because Dream’s video blew up, he started accusing Dream of “stealing” his content (when dozens of other videos of the 5 block jump already existed, and Dream could’ve just put in a clip of himself doing the jump)),,, but he insisted in his reponse that fame gets to people’s heads sometimes, nobody should blame anybody, he genuinely was never upset at him and just said that this just... happens sometimes.

He’s a very forgiving person all around, in part due to being willing to challenge his own norms and give people the benefit of the doubt JUST in case he’s wrong. He lets people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting anybody, like allowing people to ship him w people who are also alright with shipping, but at the same time taking a hard stance on, say, how shipping minors is absolutely wrong and should not be done ever (and he’s right).

3. Fandom

He appreciates said fanart and fanworks as well! He thinks dnf fanart is cool and he even appreciates the fanfic part of his fandom, something many ccs wish to ignore or forget it exists altogether (and it IS ofc in their right to do so or be uncomfortable with such content!), but Dream sees the work put into it and how people find connections and friendships through the fandom and appreciates it all the same.

He loves his fandom. So much. But not in the overdone, fake-feeling way I’ve seen other ccs be,,,, he’s just. Quiet and shy and genuine about it but not afraid to defend it.

He’s said before - and I QUOTE - “If you send hate to people or have sent hate to people, in the form of hateful comments or DMs, you aren’t welcome in my fandom. You’re no fan of mine”, which is the HOTTEST take he’s ever uttered and I love that. He really just went and said that. And he’s right. I like that despite how he’s usually more held back and waits things out before taking a stance, he chose this topic to really take a hard stance on and not budge and stick to it.

Pmbata has also said that he believes his fans have his back no matter what!! And that he really loves them a lot!!! And I am!! Emotional!!!!

4. ND/Adhd

He has adhd which is something I relate to personally (I have it as well sdlkfj). He gets excited sometimes!! I love how he shows being fidgety in mc, always pacing and parcouring around,, the way that in manhunts you can SEE when he’s thinking or bouncing back and forth between two options,,, or the way he gets close to people in mc to laugh with them.... He shows so much with his movements by them being quick and daring and calculated (and it’s especially hilarious to watch other people react to it in the video “mc but three people control one player”, where he’s the one moving and Sapnap and George will gasp or go “Dream!!” in surprise when Dream was THIS close to falling off a ledge, but he just laughs sdlkfjsdf).

When he’s not moving around he stands perfectly, perfectly still (which, idk if thats what all adhd ppl have, but I know I have something similar? Like when I’m nervous I’ll sometimes just. Freeze in place. No movement at all). He’s just relatable sdkjf.

There was one Manhunt extra scenes where he,,,,, stims by clapping,,,,,, the lil excited clap in the background,,, I’m gonna cry. I’m so soft for excited Dream that one is such a comfort clip for me!

He also tends to stim by getting under trap doors and then jumping back out of them, or jumping up a block and then walking back down over and over (especially noticable in The Village Went Mad tftsmp episode, where they were all discussing who the murderer could be and he was the only one moving, hopping up the log and then running back down again).

Also it is. Really Soft when he starts rambling and overexplaining something. What’s even better is that George, who is usually present at such moments, will laugh a little at his antics, and Dream will automatically laugh with him.

5. Rp/Uplifting other ccs

Dream wasn’t all THAT into the rp at first, but his server has been so strongly supporting and giving attention to smaller creators that he’s since completely rolled along with it. Being a villain in the RP is a difficult role because you will, inevitable, as much as it is just roleplay and all scripted, always get some amount of dislike from people for it.

Despite that, he’s basicly the main big villain on his own server where he let a bunch of theater kids beat him up in character and imprison him on his OWN SERVER. He wasn’t as into the rp at first, but has obviously been practicing and joins every Tales of the SMP when he can, despite getting zero clout for it.

What Dream also tends to do is find small content creators, see their talent and lift them high. His entire discord server is dedicated to give smaller ccs a place to grow, and when he first found Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, etc., they were much much smaller than they are now. He truly wanted to help them make it big.

He’s also added Foolish Shark and Hannah onto the SMP, both much smaller ccs (not tiny, but you get what I mean), allowing them to grow. He doesn’t stream on his OWN SERVER. He let himself get imprisoned to let the good guys win on his OWN. SERVER. He’s willing to play the villain and everything.

An interesting thing though! A lot of people used to/still do clown on Dream a bit for his sometimes uncertain acting,,, but when he’s around people he knows well (Sapnap and George, Tubbo and Tommy) we’ve seen him go ALL OUT. I have the theory Dream might be genuinely afraid to accidentally be mean to someone in character and have them misinterpret it sldkfjsdf,,, so he’s rly careful when he goes into the rp, and sometimes even when he’s in it he goes quiet, especially with other people around.

But also the fact that he needs time to feel comfortable around ppl is,, a mood,,, and adorable,,, sdlfkjsdf-

Apparently he’s also shared his youtube algorithm secrets with Tommy?? Which he had only shared with Sapnap and George before?? Dream took one look at that chaotic kid and immedietly adopted him as his little brother. He literally got up super early to rp the prison visit. Idk about ya’ll but I would die for someone first and get up horribly early for them second-

6. Friends!!

Dream?? Considers so so many people his friends?? And despite having so many friends, he also has his few closest friends (George and Sapnap) whom he would absolutely die for in a heartbeat. He WILL defend them with everything he has and loves them so so much.

He listens to them and really, truly wants them to succeed. He respects them so much and will go OFF about how good they actually are and how talented they are and how important they are to him.

I can’t even COVER everything about how much he is SOULMATES with Gorg. They live in each others heads rent-free. He mentions him all the time. They get!! So happy when they’re around each other!!! Their voices get so soft,,

And I can’t even BEGIN to explain the energy of Sapnap and Dream just moving together permanently. Imagine moving together with your best friend. Like, permanently. Into one house. They’re best friends Your Honor,,,,

Also,, remember the Techno and Dream rivalry? And Dream has recently said that he’s hesitant to make a serious manhunt against Techno because he doesn’t want there to be any feud between them or have them be compared to each other. He said that while he absolutely wanted nothing more than to beat Techno at first, now that he knows him better he just wants to be friends with him. He wants to be FRIENDS. With his, essentially, mc RIVAL. Friendly rival, but still. He doesn’t even wanna fight Techno or have ppl compare them cause he,,, wants to be friends with him,,,,

7. Vulnerability

What I feel like really sets Dream apart from some other ccs for me is that he’s willing to be vulnerable. He will tell George he loves him. He defends his friends. He sounds so, so genuine when he tells his fandom that he loves them.

What’s just really rare to see, especially in male ccs, is that vulnerability. It’s becoming more acceptable as time goes on, but it’s certainly not easy, and a lot of people become and stay long-term fans BECAUSE they can see how genuine he is.

I know Dream looks up to Mr. Beast a lot, for example, but honestly? I think he’s a little better than Mr. Beast. Because he feels more genuine, more bound to what he believes is right. I’m sure Mr. Beast isn’t a bad content creator! But ultimately they have different target audiences and I’m very glad Dream is the way he is.

Less of that insecure masculinity and more willing to be vulnerable, to care about things, to get emotional and to encourage and uplift the people around him.

8. Pure Brainrot

Green boi has nice deep calm soothing voice. Little shy laugh. Wheeze laugh. Gorg live in his head rent-free. He lov friends. He lov block game. He good at block game,,, a little shy but confident,,, big heart,,,, soft voice,,,,, rambles sometimes....

He also Gender. He’s so gender. I don’t know how else to describe it. I want That. Whatever That is. My gender is Dreamwastaken

#mcyt #mcytblr #dreamwastaken #dream #dream appreciation #long post #dreamteamspace speaks #space writes #yes this goes in my writing tag #this is Way too many words to only be in my normal tag #but how many dream apreciation essays have you written fear huh? Huh?? /lh #mr beast critical #adhd tw #adhd #just in case?

[steves-strapcollection]

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

This is not a call-out post, this is merely me addressing baseless accusations in the only way I can. If this doesn’t look great for them, then fine.They seem content to smear mine and Amdis’ names behind a block, so I’m going to at least set the record straight on my own blog.

If they didn’t want this made public, they should have approached me privately on Discord where we were friends or even through messenger here on Tumblr.

Regardless.

First, I would like to address the cowardice it takes to not only build your entire platform in calling out ableism, just to react this way when a handful of other people with ADHD expressed discomfort with a certain word being used. To @ people, and then immediately block them so they had to have friends lurk on your blog to just see what was even said to us. Like that is super classy so A++.

I will only be addressing what was said to me, as I’m not here to fight Amdis’ battles or anything.

Now, just to keep my own thoughts organized, because I am ADHD, I’m just going to address this point by point.

(All quotes below pulled word-for-word from Dathen’s replies to me)

“I have ADHD and am autistic...”

I am aware of this, as ADHD especially is something Dathen and I have in common and have repeatedly had discussions about in the past together. We are both neurodivergent.

“... this is not derogatory and projecting that onto me is pretty gross.”

I didn’t project anything onto Dathen, and I didn’t call the post derogatory, and I didn’t even say that “zoomies” was derogatory. I only ever mentioned that it made me, and several others, uncomfortable because it veered a little bit too close to “spaz” and “spastic” which are derogatory terms.

“Also I’m baffled that you’d try to twist my words like this...”

I didn’t try to do anything. I actually said “While I get the spirit behind calling it ‘zoomies’, it also feels too close to ‘spaz’ or ‘spastic’ for my comfort” and simply requested that the behaviour in question be called what it is, which is “stimming.”

“...you’ve followed me long enough to know better.”

Yes, I did know better than to assume they said it with malicious intent and not once thought that they did, and nothing in my reply implies that I did. I followed Dathen for a long while, and given their near-constant discoursing about ableism, and given they are a grown adult about my age, I had figured they would be reasonable enough to have a discussion about how certain words might not be the greatest to use.

“There is so much anti-nd ableism in this fandom...”

I am aware of this. I am literally neurodivergent. Again, Dathen and I have discussed this very phenomena at length prior to this.

“...that coming to an nd person...”

They keep throwing this around as if I myself am not neurodivergent.

“... with ‘you’re projecting onto Jon with the WRONG WORDS’ is really your concern here?? really??”

That isn’t what I said, it wasn’t even the spirit of what I said, and no that isn’t my concern since that is not what I said at all. Like I find it incredibly rich that I was blocked and accused of twisting someone’s words and then my words were just, twisted left and right. And listen, if a word is hurtful to other neurodivergent people, which it was uncomfortable for myself and at least five other people, then yes! Maybe don’t use that word to project on a character. But then again, I didn’t really tell them to not use it. I requested that it be called “stimming” but in the end, I didn’t tell them to do anything.

Now, my request and my discomfort comes from a place of legitimate trauma, from a time where I was abused by caregivers and treated like a dog and threatened with leashes and shock collars for my untreated symptoms of ADHD. I should not have to disclose either my neurodivergence, nor my trauma for my opinion on the subject to be valid. Period.

Their aggression really comes off as them assuming I was neurotypical which really throws their entire platform of being anti-ableism into question. They will post for a month about how calling Jon stupid is ableist, but a handful of people with ADHD express discomfort with them calling stimming “zoomies” and they flip out, @ us, and then block us? Seems massively hypocritical and now I’m just really doubtful about everything they’ve ever discoursed over.

Being neurodivergent doesn’t give you a free pass, and even then, neither Amdis or I thought Dathen was being ableist and neither of us even said that or implied it. We merely presented a perspective they possibly didn’t consider.

But it appears that Dathen is only interested in being agreed with completely, or accusing people of attacking them if they don’t.

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

DO NOT REBLOG

#discourse tw #salt tw #do not reblog #long post #long post tw #longpost #longpost tw

[stimtoybox]

Do you have any advice for someone who wants to start a stim/fidget toy review blog? I think it will give me a good outlet to talk about them instead of bothering my friends every time I get a new stimmy thing. I just don't know where to start. :(

I am flattered, anon, that you think we can offer advice on this point!

To be honest, I don’t think it’s that much different from starting any creative project, and these are all things folks should consider if they’re doing anything new. So ask yourself these questions, as they’ll guide you, I think, towards what you do next and how you do it.

I apologise for writing … well, an essay on blogging. It’s probably a great deal more than what you’ve asked for, but I’ve learnt a great deal in running this blog, and it all came flooding out on the page.

The main points, I think, I’ll summarise here before going into everything under the cut:

Know what it is you want to do and why you want to do it. It’s very hard to keep going with anything if you’re not sure why you’re doing it.

Hold close to your heart everything you think you can bring to your blog and reviews, because cherishing your own uniqueness keeps you going.

Practice self-care in determining what is possible for you and how much time you can devote to a blog. Look after yourself first. Your followers will wait even longer for responses if you have a mental breakdown.

Blog only if it makes you happy, because blogging is a lot of work!

Regular and consistent updates do result in regular followers and interactions, but the expectation that one updates regularly and consistently is based on ableist assumptions of ability, so you are allowed to be inconsistent.

Practice gratitude for the people who interact with you.

Don’t feel you ever have to take hate or abuse: you are allowed to use the block button.

Do not ever feel as though you need to know everything about your subject before blogging, because your followers like being able to help you.

If you’re comfortable sharing your blog with us, anon, when you have it ready to go, I’d love to see it. No such thing as too much stimmy information or too many stim blogs; we’re all part of a much greater (and fabulous) community working together to help and share information and discussion about a special interest/hyperfixation/passion. That’s a fabulously awesome thing, and I love all the connections with others - something I’m generally terrible at - I’ve made through this blog.

So, if you’re comfortable, come join us in our little network of stimmers, because we want you to be part of it!

What is it you want to do? What is it you don’t want to do?

Do you just want to post your own reviews? Do you want to post/reblog links to cool toys you’ve found? Do you just want to post/reblog photos of toy collections without reviews or listing information? Do you want to do a mix of toys and online stimming videos/GIFs/ASMR? Tutorials? For example, I don’t enjoy videos or GIFs, so I knew this blog would be about toys, and as I like making things, tutorials just happened naturally. Have a think about the kind of content you want to include and focus on that.

You can always widen your focus afterwards, but having a focus in the beginning helps give you direction, and direction is important.

(Additionally, as your blow grows, your followers might push your blog in all sorts of different directions!)

Why is it you want to do it?

Just wanting somewhere to put your thoughts is a good and valid reason! In the case of this blog, I wanted that, but I also wanted to discuss stim toys with a greater international focus. I know it seems odd now, but when I started this blog few stim toy bloggers were listing currencies, discussing shipping costs or providing image descriptions. There were few listings that weren’t focused on US webstores and absolutely nothing about Australian resources. I saw a gap in what was being covered by others, based on my own needs as a stimmer, and jumped right in.

Knowing why you want to do something helps tailor your approach: it gives you that little bit of uniqueness that separates your blog from other blogs. It erases that doubt that surfaces when you wonder why you’re doing this when everyone else is doing this already. There will be something you’re doing that the rest of us aren’t, and if you find that and hold onto it, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

What makes you happy?

What do you enjoy doing? Writing? Photography? Talking about little details? Making GIFs? Collecting listings of cool items you’ve seen online?

Find out what it is you think you’ll enjoy most and focus, at least in the beginning, on that. Happiness is incredibly motivating.

What lies within your ability?

Anon, take it from someone who repeatedly and reliably fails at this point: figure out what it is you can’t do in the matter of a stim blog and push it aside. You do not have to do everything on your blog. If there is something you genuinely cannot do, don’t do it. This is especially important for disabled bloggers, as we generally have limitations in what we can do and how much. Don’t be like me, trying to do everything because it’s good to do without any awareness of how much Trying To Do Everything is breaking me.

There’s a line between Things That Are Good To Do and Things I Can Actually Do, and you’ll be saner and happier (as someone who is regularly driving myself up the wall with my habit of overestimating my ability to function) if you stay on the “actually possible” side of the line.

Things to look at here include physical ability and time for working on this blog, both of which are super important to evaluate. Always underestimate your ability to do things - you’d rather have extra time and spoons than not enough of it!

I’ll acknowledge that regular, consistent updates are probably the biggest thing when it comes to growing a following, but for disabled people this is a very hard thing to do, and all the “how to blog” advice posts never mention this. The goal of consistency is deeply ableist. If you can do this, great. If you can’t? Don’t bother about it. Updating sporadically is better than being burnt out and not updating at all for six months because you’ve set yourself a punishing schedule your life and body won’t allow you to manage.

How are you going to do it?

You know what you want to say and why; the next step is how. How are you going to format your blog? Possible questions to consider include:

Do you want to write short or long reviews?

Do you want to include photos, videos, GIFs?

Do you want to casually talk about your purchases or aim to be a resource?

Do you want to tag everything as an archive? (This is so the thing where I have bitten off more than I can chew, ye gods.)

Do you want to make your content as accessible as you can?

Do you want to accept asks and user submissions?

Do you want to have a moderated/shared blog?

Do you want to be an informative resource versus just talking casually about your stim experiences?

Do you want your blog to be an informative resource versus a blend of stim posts and your own personal content?

Do you want to cultivate connections with other stim bloggers?

This step is thinking about the minutia of how you’re going to do whatever it is you want to do. In my case, it was deciding that this blog is a resource blog, that I’d focus on tags and archiving, that I want to put a lot of detail in my reviews and that I’d be as accessible as is possible for me.

By the way, while personal review blogs and broader resource blogs are different, one isn’t necessarily better than the other. General stim toy blogs that just post and reblog collection photos get a great following because people just want to enjoy the pretty and get to know the collator. They’re also much easier to run in terms of workload, especially for folks on mobile.

How are you going to approach the community?

This is where you think about who your audience is, who you wish to be following you and how you’re going to approach your interactions with others. Tumblr is a curious space in the sense that various flavours of activism often end up in spaces that aren’t really about activism, and that can be a tricky thing to deal with. I’m not always sure that I deal with it well, but I think at the end of the day that if you try to be true to who you are, that’s a good thing, even if others disagree with your approach.

(It’s okay if people do disagree. The number of stim blogs that exist means there’s a space for most of us.)

Things to consider include:

Who don’t you wish to follow? It is absolutely within your right as a blogger to dictate whom it is you wish to follow and interact with you, or what behaviours will result in blocking. My opinion is that it’s good to be polite about expressing it, though, especially if you’re asking blogs that feature behaviour that doesn’t cause harm to vulnerable populations to not follow you/not engage. You’re allowed to put your comfort first, but politeness is good.

Is your blog for a wider community or a section of it? Are you for anyone who stims, for disabled people who stim, ND people who stim or a targeted group like anxious stimmers or autistic stimmers?

How exclusive are you in your community building? Some blogs are completely inclusive, some blogs are largely inclusive, some are very exclusive. Stim blogs often end up being little communities of their own, so it pays to take some time to think about the kind of space you want to build.

Are you bringing other politics or modes of activism to this blog? It often pays to put this somewhere if you are or aren’t. I know that I’ve felt very uncomfortable when I’ve followed a blog only to discover a week later that the owner/mods are exclusionists. By the way, it is absolutely okay to not reveal your beliefs on any of these issues if you keep it entirely off the blog. It is also okay to be open about who you are and what you believe but not make the blog primarily about those beliefs. It is also okay to make the blog all about those beliefs.

How will you approach drama? For example, I have a block policy for hate messages: I block and never discuss the content on this blog, because I feel this is not the place to discuss people who feel the need to tell me how much they hate me for differing activism/identity approaches. I’ve got better things to do than to waste my spoons on that. Other bloggers respond to those messages and discuss them.

How will you keep your followers safe? You can do the AO3 approach of choosing not to tag - as long as you mention this on your blog description, this is entirely valid. You can tag. You can advise that there are certain things you can’t advise for and tag for the rest. You can say that this isn’t a space for discussing politics, activism or problematic content. You can say that you do discuss it. I’ve realised that I need to go back and make my approach to discussion content - that while we won’t discuss abuse or ableism or other awful things that happen to ND people in explicit detail, we won’t pretend they don’t exist or happen to us - more clear. (It’s part of the evolution from stim toy review blog to stim toy and ND blog, and I’m still playing catch-up in a lot of ways.)

I admit that my philosophy in general is to be as inclusive as possible whilst still centering stimming on ND and disabled people, and I personally will never have enough blogs to follow that do this. I am all for community building that is as accepting and non-judgemental as is possible. But this is not the only way to blog, and in the end, you do you, anon. There’s space in the world for people to have differing opinions, and the benefit of a blog is that one can make a community that suits one’s needs and philosophy.

I’ll also note that autistics and issues relating to autism (Autism $peaks, for example) have more of a presence in stim spaces, but if you are not autistic, you absolutely do not have to make your blog about autism. I believe there’s a real need for more allistic stimmers to make blogs that focus on the stimming needs of ADHD and/or anxious stimmers without autism discussions creeping in.

What do you need to do?

This step is for considering all the things you need to do to make the blog go from an idea to a thing.

Please note that this is often more professional in focus than many bloggers consider: I’m a writer, and so it’s habit for me to try and make even my non-writing blogs of a semi-professional standard.

If this feels way too much, pick and choose (remember: you don’t have to do everything).

The name of your blog. Do you have a name? Is it still available? Go and grab it now if so, even if you don’t make your blog for days, weeks or months. I sat on @stimtoybox​ for about three months before I finally made the blog.

The layout of your blog. There’s a lot of custom Tumblr designs out there, but, to be brutally honest, most of them are not user-friendly in terms of accessible and easy-to-read design. Pick a clean theme that’s easy to modify, as that will give non-Tumblr users access to your content. I know everyone thinks we only access blogs via dashboard these days, but if you get big enough, some of your anons may not be registered Tumblr users, and giving them access to your blog via an easy-to-read webpage layout matters a lot.

The avatar/icon and headers of your blog. Many layouts let you custom design these, and this helps give you a little individuality (especially on your webpage layout). You can get lots of royalty-free graphics on sites like Pixabay with no attribution required (although it’s a decent thing to put said attribution on a page). Additionally, your own photos of stim toys work great for this. Having icons and headers that are unique to you is well worth the time it takes to create them.

Bio and blog description. You don’t want an essay for this, but a little information about what you’re doing and why is great.

HTML. If you can add a few HTML links to said blog description, including links to everything people can’t access on mobile (about page, BYF page, submissions info) you’ve made your blog that much easier to use. I am more than happy to write a tutorial on the code I use here on Tumblr if anyone wants it.

Links to your other internet presences. Don’t be ashamed about doing this. You’re providing content, which is a lot of work, so it’s absolutely fair to use it as a way to direct people towards your other work (personal blog, art, writing, whatever).

Before You Follow and Submission information. If you’re allowing asks and submissions, tell people want you want - make a page for this information. (Unfortunately, you’re still going to get people who don’t read before submitting - I’ve had a few submissions that are just GIF images with no informative content, for example, even though we’re a resource blog.) It really does help, though. Likewise with the BYF, if you have folks you’d rather not follow for whatever reason.

Lastly,

You don’t have to know everything about your subject matter. If you don’t know and can’t find it out, admit it. Ask people for their input, because folks genuinely like helping each other out. They like participating; they like offering up information. The majority of your followers are going to be pretty awesome people, and they’re going to want to help, if they can. We have this massive passion in common, and we’re all here, following each other, helping each other, because we like learning and sharing.

In my opinion, there’s also a lot to be gained by being thankful and expressing gratitude to followers’ interactions. (It maybe sounds manipulative put that way, but expressing everything as a social rule makes it sound manipulative, to be honest, and for me everything is a social rule, something I’ve learnt the hard way, not a natural understanding.) Thank you is a pretty powerful word; being grateful is a pretty powerful thing. If there is anything I’ve learnt from this blog, it is that being and expressing gratitude has brought me an awful lot of good will, patience and acceptance, even when I’m absent, screwing up, making mistakes, in too much pain to be helpful or tolerant, being far too emotional or just being too overwhelmed by a blog and inbox that’s gotten bigger than I can often manage.

Be grateful for those who interact with you. You don’t have to accept hate (that gets the block button) but being grateful helps so much.

Good luck, anon. I’m pretty sure this is many more words than what you’re after, and I hope it isn’t too overwhelming for you. We’re all very much looking forward to your unique reviews and insights on stim toys!

- Mod K.A.

#ask #text #anon #discussion post #community discussion #mod K.A. #long post #very long post

[captainthief]

Michael Jones, Fidget Cubes, Serial Killers, and the movie ‘Split’

Let me start this out by saying that Michael Jones is one of my favorite people to ever exist. Ask any of my friends, and they’ll tell you how I’m constantly raving about how funny he is and how cool he is and what a good person he is. If I didn’t believe in that last bit so completely, I wouldn’t even be writing this post—I’ve seen personalities like him react badly, or completely ignore, issues like this, but I’m writing this because I firmly believe that if Michael does read it, he would accept what I have to say and take it to heart.

For those who don’t know who Michael Jones is--he’s a good guy, who happened to say something careless. Please read anyway.

So, today, the newest episode of my favorite podcast, OffTopic, was released on Youtube. The boys got on the topic of the Fidget Cube that’s been a huge trend lately. I was ecstatic to hear them talk about it and how much money it raised on kickstarter! But then Michael said that they’re something serial killers would definitely have, and my heart sank.

For background: I am Autistic. All of this information is what I have learned from participating in Autistic communities—I’m not a psychologist, though I do often discuss these things with several trained professionals. Anyway, among Autistic people and other similarly neurodiverse people (conditions like OCD, ADHD, and Dissociative Disorders, for example) ‘fidget toys’ have been a thing for a while—rings that have spinning parts, or necklaces that you can chew on, or puzzle toys like Rubix Cubes, ect. That’s because people of these neurotypes are often either ‘overstimulated’ or ‘understimulated’—either there’s too much going on for their brains to process, or there’s too little going on and the person has excess energy. At these times, neurodiverse people will do what is known as “stimming”—repetitive physical movements or actions. For the understimulated, this gives them a task to do, and for the overstimulated, it becomes a grounding action to focus on. Stimming takes many forms, often just seeming like the person is an especially energetic or fidgety person—things like tapping, or clicking your tongue, or shaking your leg. However, some people are compulsively drawn to less socially acceptable “stims”, like rocking back and forth or flapping your hands. That’s why fidget toys were developed—to help people like this stim without being socially inappropriate.

So when I heard the boys talk about the Fidget Cube, I got excited, because it’s rare that ND (neurodiverse) related things hit the mainstream, especially things that are actually good for ND people and not abusive (more on that in a bit). It didn’t matter to me that the boys seemed to think it was kind of silly—even the fact that they were talking about it meant that maybe some ND behaviors can start to be more normalized in public.

And then we get to the Serial Killers. Michael said something along the lines of “I’m not saying that everyone who has a Fidget Cube is a Serial Killer, but probably every Serial Killer has a Fidget Cube”. I can understand perfectly why he said something like this—for a brief second my mind turned towards agreement, before I realized the implications of Michael’s words. Here’s the thing: Michael phrased his words that way intending to be non-offensive to people who use the Fidget Cubes, and that’s why I think he may listen to me about this, but frankly, it wasn’t good enough and is still a harmful statement.

Here’s why: even with their recent popularity among the general population, fidget toys are for Neurodiverse people. They have proven significant psychological benefits for us. Whether neurotypical people find them fun or comforting, they were developed for the neurodiverse. When you think of a fidget toy being used, you’re probably imagining a person with noticable symptoms of neurodiversity (cue Trevor with the Adderall joke, both funny and accurate). So even if you say not all people with Fidget Cubes are Serial Killers, when you say All Serial Killers have Fidget Cubes, you’re probably associating Serial Killers with noticeable symptoms of neurodiversity. You’re saying all Serial Killers have symptoms, and so probably a large percentage of Serial Killers are neurodiverse.

Again, I can’t really blame Michael for having that unconscious association. Most people would. That’s because most people have a very disproportional idea of how Serial Killers and mental illness/disability relate. Most of it’s media related—just look at that new movie Split, which completely twists Dissociative Identity Disorder into something it’s not, to scare people. The fact is, ‘scary’ mental disorders—Autism, Schizophrenia, ect—do scare neurotypical people, and so they are associated with other scary things, like Serial Killers. That’s not to say no Serial Killers are mentally ill—many are—but it’s not nearly as high a percentage as common perception would have you believe.

To many people, this all probably seems like something small to make a fuss over. Why does one little joke matter? Well, here’s why: because neurodiversity is almost never acknowledged by the general population, except as something scary. Let’s use Split as an example again—most people would probably call it ‘multiple personalities’. Try to think of every instance where you’ve heard those words—I can guarantee that for most people, it will only have been in Jekyll/Hyde-esque scenarios, where the “other personality” is mean or evil or socially unacceptable. So what? Well, there’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17, when most people develop more definitive personalities, that feels like they’re two or more people. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who feels like they are more than one person living in one body. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who feels like this and sees an ad for Split. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who sees that ad, maybe several times, and thinks that’s scary and that’s evil. There’s probably more than one child who actively tells themselves “I don’t want to be that”, and try to convince themselves that they’re a ‘normal’ person, and ignore what’s going on in their own heads so that they aren’t rejected by others. There are millions of mentally ill people in the world—but because mental illness is scary, there are also millions of mentally ill people in the world that refuse to believe they are mentally ill, and so are unable to get the treatments that could vastly improve their quality of life. There’s also millions of non-mentally ill people in the world, who will avoid the mentally ill as though they’re contagious, or bully them for behaviors they can’t control, or even kill them.

And so I return to Michael. Michael, I’m not going to say “educate yourself on these issues”, because I don’t expect you to do that. I’m not going to say “You need to apologize”, because there’s no way you knew that you were feeding into this issue. If you end up reading this, then saying what you did may even have been a good thing, because this way, I can let you know something you wouldn’t have known. Michael, all I’m going to ask from you, and anyone else who reads this, is to remember 7 words: mentally ill people are not bad people. This little phrase works in reverse, too: bad people are not mentally ill people.

When you said that Serial Killers would have Fidget Cubes, you probably had an image in your head of a character from a movie or story off the news. That person probably had some trait that made you uncomfortable—obsessiveness, or hyperactivity, or lack of eye contact, ect. Michael, when you think “that person is so creepy”, I want you to think, “but there are good people with the same traits”. I want you to think, “Just because there’s ‘something wrong’ with them doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them”. All I want, is for you to be aware that on some level, you do associate mental illness/disability with bad, scary things—if you are aware of your own bias, then you may be able to begin to take a step back from your own thoughts, and think, “There it is. That’s wrong.”

I just want people to realize that we all tend to see “mentally disabled” as “bad”, and that it’s unfair.

#michael jones #actuallyautistic #offtopic podcast #roosterteeth #neurodiversity

[stimtoybox]

So @ WhiteCastle on twitter is doing a thing where you use a hashtag in your tweet and they donate money. Unfortunately, the money is going towards Autism$peaks and I don't know what to do about it? I'm seeing people I follow use the hashtag and I want to say something but I also don't want to be accused of being the asshole trying to make people stop donating just because I have a problem with the company. Is there anything that can be done?

First: I’m going to link for evidence, with a warning that there’s gross posts referencing A$ and even photos with that bloody puzzle piece, to the account in question and the hashtag, just in case people are like me and ignorant of this going on. The tag is full of light it up blue and horrible, gross posts. I’ve looked at it so you don’t have to!

(Here’s the colouring-in flyer advising that donations up to $50 000 will be made until the end of July. Also not something you need to look at; warning for heavy lightbulb imagery and more puzzle pieces. So gross.)

I’m going to say that my recommendation is that we go further than merely asking people to not hashtag; my recommendation is that US folks also boycott White Castle altogether and get as many people as possible to do the same, if this is something they are in a situation to ask. (And we non-US folks can also ask our US friends and followers to do the same.) Telling White Castle they are supporting a toxic hate organisation won’t get them to stop, since they haven’t bothered to look beyond their ableist assumptions to see what A$ is; watching their profits fall as a result might. It’s not a great weapon, but it’s the only one we have, so we wield it as best we can and see how far we can get this message outside of autism/stimming/ND spaces.

(Please note that even if they raise that $50 000, there’s nothing to stop anyone from continuing that boycott until White Castle ends their association with A$. They’ve been associated with A$ for a long time, so we can boycott for as long as it takes.)

Second: This is a really hard situation, anon, and I’m afraid that I’m only going to make it harder. I don’t have a simple solution for you.

I’m going to tuck the rest under a read more cut, so this post is easily reblogged for folks wanting an easier-to-read resource for passing about Tumblr:

The truth is this: in fighting for what you believe in, some people are going to accuse you of being an arsehole. Some people are going to hate you for what you do. There’s no magical way of telling people that their behaviour (especially when they think they’re helping) is actually hurtful that results in everyone quietly and cheerfully accepting the correction. You can try to be polite, you can try to provide resources, you can try to say it in a way that you think will go over as well as possible, but there is always going to be someone who dislikes what you’re doing and how you’re doing it just because you’re doing it. No matter how respectfully or thoughtfully you approach it. Someone will think you’re wrong. Someone will say so in ways that hurt you.

As much as we might want to, we cannot pick up a sword without shedding blood. We cannot pick up a sword without making an enemy of someone else. It’s the deal we make when we decide to take action on anything: for all the people who are grateful for what we do, others will dislike us for that same action.

I can promise you, anon, that there will be someone who will dislike you for daring to mention that their charitable contributions are in fact aiding a hate organisation that hurts autistics. In fact, you’re dealing with a situation where people are feeling good about themselves because they think they’re helping, so they’re even less likely to take well to a correction because that correction shatters that illusion of helpfulness. It sounds harsh, but the most honest thing I can do is to tell you to accept this as a depressing fact of human nature. Anything else would be a falsehood.

However, I’ll follow this up with the other important truth: anon, if you are not ready to fight this battle, don’t.

Your health, safety and sanity always come first. I’m saying this as someone who doesn’t well live that rule, but my failure to honour it is how I know it’s important! A$ are awful and it is devastating to see people support a hate organisation, but it is not your responsibility to do anything about this if you feel it dangerous for your health, safety and sanity. It isn’t. You are doing nothing wrong if you decide this is too hard and too much; you are doing nothing wrong if you let this go unremarked. We all fight in our own ways. Some of us collect pretty slime GIFs to give others an online escape; some of us work too hard just to keep ourselves alive, which is more important than anything else ever; some of us write too many words on a blog that was supposed to be about stim toys! We were born into a world not designed for us, and we have absolutely no obligation to do anything more than try our hardest to survive in it.

So. If you decide you still want to take this on, what do you do?

Honestly, the best approach is to just lay it out simply that A$ does not support us and ask people to both stop retweeting and boycott White Castle because of this.

This approach is easier if you’re openly autistic or an ally; it’s harder if you’re autistic but not open about it or doing this on Facebook or Twitter where family and offline contacts know you. Do not out yourself just for this. If you need to cite an autistic friend to give your post validity, do so. I’m your autistic friend, okay? In this, I’m everybody’s autistic friend!

I’m going for politeness here. I’m also leaving out confronting language like “hate organisation”, even though it’s the absolute truth, in order to try and mitigate the responses made by people who don’t like to be told they weren’t so helpful after all. I know many of us are going to be far more direct here on Tumblr, but this is the friends-and-family approach:

Please don’t support Autism Speaks by using White Castle’s hashtag. [I know / my autistic friends told me / I read online] that AS doesn’t include autistic people in their advocacy and puts most of their fundraising towards preventing autism, but [I / we / my autistic friends] don’t need a cure! (If you have time, space or spoons, you can explain that autism is just another neurotype and to prevent autism is to erase us.) Please [support us/help me in supporting my autistic friends] by [reblogging / retweeting] this message and boycotting White Castle. Thank you!

Link to ASAN’s Autism $peaks flyer for simply-laid-out supporting evidence, too!

Will some people still be angry over this? Very probably. But all you can do is make the request, explain why and hope. I know of nothing, sadly, that will make those who are going to respond badly to a reasoned request not respond that way. Which is unfair, but this whole situation is ableist, and it’s unfair that we even need to have this conversation at all.

Again, anon, I say that if you cannot do this, you do not have to. You’ve already done something awesome in letting me know and letting more of us have a conversation - I’d call that pretty important activism!

Truly, thank you so much for letting the rest of us know! Good luck, however you choose to proceed.

- Mod K.A.

#actuallyautistic #autism discussion #autism focus #discussion post #activism discussion #ask #anon #text #not a toy #off topic #mod K.A. #link #A$ #Autism $peaks #long post #very long post #problematic autism organisations

[stimtoybox]

So I'm an adult (21) and inthe last few months more and more I think I might be autistic?? I've learned a lot from the community but I have no clue how to go about getting a professional diagnosis. I'm in Canada if that makes a difference? Sorry if this isn't the blog to ask! I've been googling a lot but the sites that come up are all very a$-ish and idk which ones to trust for info

Hey, anon! It’s not a worry. We talk about ND things in addition to cool stim toys. Go you, by the way, for the scary things of self-exploration and taking the step of seeking a diagnosis!

(I’ll remind everyone, of course, that a professional diagnosis isn’t required for full participation in the autistic community. The vast majority of us are fine with self-dx or even just questioning.)

This is hard, in the sense that it how it works depends an awful lot on your region and financial situation, and there’s a lot of different possibilities for how you might go about this. I’m going to try to speak generally (my Aussie may show a lot) but I really encourage our Canadian followers to reblog or comment with their country-specific information and experiences. They’ll be so much more useful to you.

I’ll note that I have no idea how health insurance works anywhere not Australia, so I’m not going to touch that part at all.

The first problem is that there often aren’t a lot of psychiatrists/specialists who diagnose autism in adults, and finding one close to you might be difficult. The second problem is that if you can’t afford to go private, you’ve got even more difficulty. A diagnosis is an adult isn’t an easy thing to get, especially if you’re regional and/or don’t have money.

This is a long post, anon, so I’ve written a dot-point summary and tucked the wordier version under a read more cut.

Summary:

- Gather written information that validates and supports your feeling that you’re autistic, including a ticked-off copy of the diagnostic criteria and discussion of your own experiences.

- Research possible options for assessment in your area, including private psychiatrists who assess adults, local government clinics and university student-training clinics.

- Contact your psychologist, if you have one, for support, information, advice and scripting. If your psychologist works in a specialist mental health clinic, especially a government-funded clinic, this may be enough to get you referred for an assessment.

- Contact your GP/family doctor for referral if not referred via the above. Your GP may or may not have resources for a specialist who assesses adults, which which is why I strongly recommend researching it yourself.

- If you’re not referred to a government service (in which case, at least here in Australia, the GP files the referral and they contact you with details for an appointment) contact the specialist and make your appointment.

The first thing to do is arm up. Print off the diagnostic checklists and tick off where they apply to your situation. Write down a list of all your experiences that you think are explained by autism. Write down why you think a diagnosis would be beneficial to you (school or employer support, say) as this will discourage people from the “well, you may be autistic but the label won’t help you” or “I really don’t like labels” comments. Put together a folder (paper is easier to show to others, often) and keep all these papers together. This means you won’t forget to mention things when you’re doing the stressful thing of trying to tell people why you want a diagnosis.

(This is especially important for anyone who isn’t a white cis boy and might be autistic in ways that don’t involve train monologues. Allistics still don’t have a good understanding of what autism looks like outside of the white cis boy population, and can often be reluctant to diagnose on this basis. It’s not right that you have to do all this, of course, but it can help.)

On this point, don’t assume that they’ll notice everything about you that is autism. If you’re going with a public psychiatrist who just makes assessments/evaluations, you might end up with only a couple of hours with someone who doesn’t dig too deeply. (The kinds of assessments and how you’re assessed can vary widely between one professional and another. Some take several sessions; some give you a quiz and call it done!) If you go in knowing what you want to explore and the reasons why, and present this information, you’re far more likely to get the diagnosis you want. Speaking as someone who’s been through a few general assessments - I didn’t know what I was there for or what I wanted them to diagnose, and the end result was that they diagnosed nothing more specific than “probably Cluster C”. Go in knowing what you need and why you need it. You might not have to lead them down the path, but it’s always good knowing that you can should it be necessary. If I could do my assessments again, this is the one thing I’d do differently.

You can and should take the time here to Google psychiatrists and other neuro-type specialists who assess autism in adults in your area, if you can afford a private clinician and are looking to go that way. Your GP may have to do this anyway, because most of their resources are probably for p-docs focusing on autistic children! If you come prepared with this information, it helps a lot. You can also check out university clinics, as many offer no or low-cost services for student training, which might be more affordable for you. You often do not have to be a student to access this, but if you are, there’s also student-specific services available to you by most universities, so it might be worth exploring this to see if they offer assessments, too. University clinics are probably your best option if you can’t find or afford a local specialist that assesses adults.)

The third thing to do is approach a therapist/psychologist if you have one. If you’re talking to a therapist or a psychologist, you’ll probably be told to go to your GP for a referral (that is the case here in Australia, at least) but they may be able to provide more resources for where your GP can refer you, affirm your suspicions, help you script conversations or provide general support, so if you have one, and you trust them to be supportive and understanding (not all psychologists are), it’s often worth talking to them first. Basically, you’re saying you think you may be autistic, these are the reasons why and what do they think about a referral to a psychiatrist who assesses/diagnoses autism in adults. If you think your GP might be reluctant, having the backing of your therapist can help - just ask them to write a letter to send to your GP.

(If you’re with a psychologist who works in a clinic like a community/government psychology service, your psychologist may be able to direct you to the staff p-doc or arrange an assessment with them, no GP involvement at all. This is how I got my BPD assessment that became a surprise autism assessment.)

The third thing is to talk to your GP/family doctor/primary care physician, same conversation as above. If your GP listens to you, you’ll either be given a referral and contact details for a private clinician, the university clinic or put forwards for an assessment with a government clinic, depending on what options your GP has. After that, either through making an appointment yourself or waiting for the clinic to contact you, you should have an appointment with someone capable of diagnosing.

(I’ll say here: if your GP doesn’t listen to you, get another GP, seriously. Don’t hesitate on this. My original family GP told me, a suicidal person in crisis with chronic pain on WorkCover who couldn’t work, that I didn’t need a psychologist or meds; I just needed to get another job. Needless to say, I don’t see him anymore - five years later, it’s hard not to be aware of just how close I came to dying because of that comment. I just say this to highlight the fact that there are some awful medical professionals out there, people guilty of criminal malpractice, and their unwillingness to support you does not invalidate your need for said support. My GP couldn’t diagnose my depression; he surely never saw my autism. Doesn’t mean neither were there, because they were and are.)

Now, there may be a few or many local differences, so I hope some Canadians can correct me on anything that’s wildly out of place. But the above is a jumble of possibilities based on several experiences I’ve had with psychiatrists and assessments and experiences friends have had with psychiatrists and assessments, all here in Australia.

I hope this gives you some idea of how things work, anon. Good luck. We’re all crossing our fingers here that you get the support and diagnosis you’re hoping for - and we’ll all welcome you here as one of us even if you don’t.

- Mod K.A.

#ask #anon #text #not a toy #off topic #discussion post #diagnosis discussion #neurodiversity discussion #long post #very long post #mod K.A.