#men so aggressively straight they circle back to being gay

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I was thinking about how Anders is so utterly unshippable and how any ship with him in it would instantly become crack (and not the sort that grows on you until you find yourself doing content for it), and then I remember how we used to say the same thing about Erik after season two, and now I’ve been led to the thought of Erik/Anders and somehow ended up with a ship that makes sense-

#men so aggressively straight they circle back to being gay #put the pathetic Boyfailures together #Xmas dinner table with Johanna Hilda Kaisa Anders Erik. let the fun begin. #they’d actually be awful and implode because of their own egos (even if I have to admit Anders’ is a bit smaller) #but that’s where the fun is!!!!! #hilda season 3 #Hilda s3 #Hilda s3 spoilers #Hilda spoilers #Anders Hilda #erik ahlberg #Hilda the series

[rhaenyras]

I have a friend who is a man and I’m trying to not be frustrated with him, but I can’t help it. For context, he’s a nonbinary gay man and I’m a nonbinary queer woman, we’ve always gotten along great but lately he’s been pissing me off with some things and I can’t help but have this feeling like “…he’s still just a man huh” (he refers to himself as one despite being nb, just like me and saying I’m a woman - I hope that makes sense). He told me he hates it when his female/afab friends say that they feel safer with him around than they do alone, that it makes him feel shitty because he wants someone to protect him too. I know he had a few bad experiences where he was attacked in the past, both by gay and cishet men, he’s a pretty big guy like very athletic/muscular/buff but not always straight passing. I understand he also faces some struggles but I can’t wrap my head around theye comments that he hates when women say they feel safer with him around etc. He says something like “i know women want to feel protected but who’s gonna protect me?” and he makes a valid point and all. I just wish he recognized his privilege more. Like when we saw Barbie, we loved it, but he went on to tell me about how he feels like an Alan, like he’ll never truly be one of the girls but he’s also not “man enough” to fit in with most men. I try to be there for him and validate his emotions but I also see nothing wrong with his other female friends telling him stuff like that they prefer to walk at night with him instead of alone. He said that he feels like it’s “a bad thing to be a man thesedays” and that he’s hurt when he sees girls seeing him as a threat like if they’re walking at night (like if he’s straight passing that day, I can understand the girls cause like I said, he’s a big guy and any man is a threat when you’re alone at night). I just wish he recognized that these things can co-exist and that it’s fine to be one of the genuinely nice guys while also wanting to feel safe himself.

sounds like your friend found himself in the same ambiguous uncomfortable spot that allan occupied in the barbie movie. he doesn't belong with the cishet men that women have learned to fear, but he's not one of the girls either because it's still a patriarchy and he's still a man. so what is he? he's a queer man, and as such, intersectional transfeminism works for his benefit and safety as well. it's true that he too needs protection against homophobic aggression and harassment but he also should know when to listen to his female friends and learn about misogyny and gender violence, aka two things that he hasn't experienced firsthand. it's very common feeling intimidated when you're a semi-liberated man and most people in your circle are feminists, but being a feminist doesn't mean being a man-hater. i wish men could let go of their victim complex and fragile ego for just a moment so they could prioritize women's safety (since it's women being killed, beaten and raped every day, make no mistake). the key is intersectionality. multiple planes of discrimination and violence can coexist and all discriminated people should still stick together and have each other's backs even if they are oppressed on different planes and over different reasons. the one constant is that we all get equally oppressed and discriminated by cishet white men. if a black woman told me she felt safer walking with me in the midst of racists because im white and could virtually provide some comfort/protection, i would just put my white privilege to good use and help her. i wouldn't question the racist plane of discrimination that she knows better than i ever could. and i certainly wouldn't feel like she's accusing me of being privileged and act all defensive as a result (and i am privileged, under that particular plane of discrimination. we don't choose to be born a minority no more than we choose to be born in privilege. what we can choose is if and how we use that privilege. or alternatively we just decide to never use the influential voice we are given if not to whine all day about how bad feminist witches hate all men and want to punish them for their assigned sex at birth).

#ask #anon #anonymous

[potteresque-ire]

Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈  (June is Pride Month where I am 😊) For the occasion, may I recommend this animated musical short, 秘密港 Safe Haven, by the Beijing Queer Chorus (北京酷兒合唱團)? Published on the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia (IDAHOBIT; May 17th, 2021),  the animation, with its lovely (and at times, heartbreaking) song, is about a queer person and their friend who tries to offer their support. The lyrics is English-subbed.

(Below the cut: a wish for the c-queer community; conception of Safe Haven, as explained by the Beijing Queer Chorus; CW/TW for homophobia, violence and forced abortion)

Background for my wish: with the recent Chinese government’s aggressive turnaround in its population control policy to combat its declining birth rate—on 2021/05/31, China further lifted the cap of number of children allowed per couple from 2 to 3 (the number was 1 for almost four decades, 1978-2015; the population control measure has therefore been colloquially called the “One Child Policy”), younger generations of Chinese are already feeling the pressure and fearing the consequences of non-compliance (for example, if the state levies heavy fines on non-child-bearers).   

While I have not yet read articles that directly connect the major policy shift with the c-queer community, I imagine it may bring both relief and additional challenges. The relief will likely take time to come; the challenges, meanwhile,  will likely be immediate. 

This has to do with the root of antagonism against homosexuality in Chinese societies. Unlike in their Western counterparts, Chinese queers have consistently reported that family, instead of societal, pressure as the greatest challenge they face (societal pressure includes that from religion, from government etc). C-queers are expected to abide to the heteronormative traditions of opposite-sex marriage and child-bearing, in a collectivistic, conformist environment still strongly influenced by the Confucian notion that continuing the bloodline is the primary responsibility of a filial child. Men, especially, are under heavy pressure to carry on their family surname. Those who fail to do so are seen as irresponsible at best, moral failures at worst. They suffer anything and everything from constant nagging from their relatives, to ostracisation, to disownment. 

A better known consequence of this cultural antagonism against homosexuality in the tragic Tongqi (同妻 “homo-wives”) phenomenon that is, perhaps, unique to China. 

Tongqi are straight women who unknowingly entered marriage with closeted gay man, who often learn about their spouse’s sexuality only after the filial obligation of having children has been fulfilled. It’s a form of marriage fraud; women who file for divorce, however, are likely to lose custody of their child(ren) under Chinese laws, and so many of them keep mum. The gay men involved are also victims in many cases; the lack of public, open education and discussion of queer topics in the country mean even the queers themselves may not have a full understanding of their own queerness, believe that “straightening” themselves is something they can do with sufficient willpower and love for their family. 

As one may expect, these marriages are mostly unsatisfying; psychiatric issues and intimate partner violence (IPV), which include verbal, emotional and physical abuse, have also been frequently reported. Just how prevalent are Tongqi’s in China that, in turn, reflect how many gay men in China are pressured to remain in the closet and get married? The following numbers may serve as comparison. In 2010, the percentage of gay men married to heterosexual women in the US was 15-25%. In China and in 2018, meanwhile, the reowned Chinese sexologist, sociologist and LGBT rights activist, Li Yinhe (李銀河), quoted an estimate of 80% of China’s ~ 20 million gay men were married to heterosexual wives; i.e. the Tongqi population amounted to ~16 million. Literature has reported a similar estimated size of the Tongqi population—at 13+ million, in 2016. 

(Reason for the numbers being estimates: the exact size of the c-queer community isn’t known. China’s decennial census questionnaire from late last year (2020) once again excluded questions about its own LGBT+ community. "Room mate” is how many c-queers have to refer to their partners).

While the Chinese government decriminalised homosexuality in 1997 and its current laws carry no clauses that target the queer community—the official stance of Chinese government on homosexuality is currently 不支持，不反對，不提倡 “not supporting, not opposing, not advocating”—what may seem to be its non-queer-related policies have indirectly but majorly impacted the lives of c-queers. In particular, the “One Child Policy” has been hypothesised to exacerbate the challenge faced by c-queers, as the only child becomes the sole “next generation” available for producing grandchildren and extending the family bloodline. 

Hence, my expectation / hope that the relaxation of "One Child Policy”, by lifting the cap on the number of children a couple can have, will bring relief to the LGBT+ population—even if the relief will only come years down the road, as the newer generations of c-queers will then have siblings to share their filial responsibilities. 

However, this also explains my worry for now, for the immediate months and years to come, for not only c-queers but the younger generations of Chinese in general. My worry is about how, exactly, the state intends to drive its birth rate upward, and the hardship the new policies may bring. 

The practices of China’s population control policies have historically been brutal. Forced, late-term abortions were common, for example. This is reflected in the country’s birth control propaganda banners, commonly seen in Chinese villages until late 2000s, which were infamous for their verbal violence:

“Beat it out! Abort it! Miscarry it! Just cannot give birth to it!”

Fines, which were levied on offenders of the One Child Policy, may seem like a better option but can place an unbearable burden on poorer families, of which there remain many in China. Premier Li Keqiang reported, in May 2020, that >40% of China’s population—600 million—are living with a monthly income of ~$140 USD or below, despite the glitz often seen in the country’s entertainment productions. Using One Child Policy era fines for reference, the famous Chinese director 張藝謀 Zhang Yimou was fined 7.48 million RMB (~$1.17 million USD) for his three children, in 2013. Defying the new population control policies may therefore be a privilege reserved for the very powerful and very rich. And the government is likely to be aggressive in enforcing its new policies—the social media accounts of > 20 feminist activists, who advocate for reproductive freedom among other women’s rights, have already been shut down in the recent weeks. 

Will the Chinese government find ways to penalise members of the queer community who do not contribute to the new baby count? Will it turn a blind(er) eye to the Tongqi 同妻 (and to a lesser extent, Tongfu 同夫 ~ heterosexual men married to lesbian women) tragedies happening every day? It’s impossible to say yet.

For this year, therefore, I wish the c-queer community this—I wish it to be safe from the reach of China’s population control policies, whatever they will be. 

Back to the animated short, Safe Haven, which is about coming out. In 2016, a 18,000 people survey by the United Nations Development Programme reported only 5% of Chinese queers had come out to people outside their families. Only 15% have come out to their families. A more recent survey reports a significant improvement in these percentages, with ~50% of gays, bisexuals and transgenders and 70% of lesbians having come out to their families (Table 2). Fully out queers remain rare (<10%).

There’s still, therefore, a long way to go. With queers often being out (if they’re out at all) only to their most immediate/intimate social circles, with the state’s censorship of LGBT+ presentation in visual media, many (especially older generations of) non-queers in China haven’t seen a living, breathing, outwardly queer person before. The process of coming out, by extension—what it means, what it takes for both the giver and receiver of the message—may have never entered the thoughts of these non-queers before.

What should they say? What should they do? What words and actions will convey support? What won’t?

Safe Haven is about these questions. I’ll end this post with a translation of the Weibo post in which the animated short was first published, in which Beijing Queer Chorus explained the project’s conception:

#517 IDAHOBIT# Do you remember how it was like, the first time you came out of the closet, or someone came out of the closet to you? Who was that person? What did you say at the time, and how did that person react?

The person who voluntarily exposes their heart requires courage. The person who receives the message may have their own heart filled with unease. 

Maybe, both are thinking: “What should I do?”

Coming out is such an important occasion. It can, perhaps, change a relationship forever.

Some will welcome warmth and hugs. Some others will get their first taste of homophobia. Yet some others will find neither.

After a queer person came out to their friend, they got, in return, “Don’t worry. I’ll still treat you as a friend.” It made them uncomfortable for a long time. But their straight family and friends didn’t understand. How could this be not a kind thing to say?

What is gay-friendly? What is homophobic? It appears that everyone has their own standards. The same words and behaviours transmit warmth to some, deep offence to others.

So, when we’re talking about “homophobia”, what are we talking about?

To commemorate this years #517 IDAHOBIT#, the Beijing Queer Chorus interviewed its tens of members and their relatives and friends, in hopes of investigating the difference in perspectives between homosexuals and straight people. How can this barrier be crossed, how can they work together to take care of the valuable relationships.

In the stories of all interviewees, a warmth like this can be felt: even with the risks, there remain those who are brave enough to display their true self; even with the misunderstandings, there remain those willing to keep the secrets of others, willing to learn to understand a whole new world.

We condensed these stories into an original, animated musical short, Safe Haven.

We hope every boat riding the winds and waves can find a harbour to unload their secrets. We also hope every person has enough gentle strength to be the safe haven for others. 

We offer our best wishes to every queer who lets their heart be seen ~ may your courage reap its rewards.

We thank every friend and family who have treated these hidden matters of the heart seriously. You make the world a better place.

#pie metas #lgbt #pride 2021

[nothorses]

It really fucks me up that I have to tell people not to call trans people slurs or defend their mental stability in fucking gay subreddits. The thing is it’s a real issue I’ve seen in gay communities, especially those with little to no moderation, where transphobia will often run rampant and unchallenged in the less visible internet alleyways. Hell I could probably pull up 50+ posts all from one week from one subreddit that all drip with some flavor of transphobia and I don’t know why this happens.

Tbh this might sound harsh but I kindof think that with certain groups of gay men (not all obviously) they still do that misogynistic banter that some straight men do that eventually downspirals into honest to god hateful misogyny, but instead in gay circles it’s transphobia. Typically these guys are already kinda misogynistic to begin with though, so a lot of times when they complain about “straight women invading their spaces” it’s supposed to be a double punch, one for misgendering, one for being a woman in their eyes. It... really hurts to be honest but you can’t really bring it up with these types cuz they won’t have empathy with you.

Maybe I’m being too prescriptivist but honest to god it’s so hard to like actually hang around in gay spaces as a trans guy who likes guys due to all the hatred bubbling under the surface and I think I have legit self image issues from being exposed to these places.

You’re very right, tbh. And I think a lot of this comes from very different community histories between cis mlm and cis wlw.

The wlw community has had close ties with the feminist movement for a long time, and a lot of their recent history (~1970′s on) is influenced- for better or worse- by feminist theory, feminist movements, radfems, and TERFs. Trans exclusion in the wlw community in particular has been a hot topic for a long time, and partially because of transfem hypervisibility. The push to exclude transfems is more aggressive and direct, and the push against that is more vocal.

But the cis mlm community doesn’t really tie itself to other social movements, and doesn’t have the same sense of insular, dedicated community. There also isn’t as much a sense of “protecting the community” as in the cis lesbian community; even the “straight women invading our spaces” thing comes from a more recent push-back against the “gay best friend” tropes and straight bachelorette parties in gay bars.

A ton of problems have been allowed to fester in the cis mlm community, and while progress has been made... it’s different. And it’s difficult, when the mlm community just isn’t as cohesive of a community as most are, and as it once was.

It doesn’t help that transmascs struggle with invisibility already.

I’ve been called a “fujoshi” and accused of fetishizing “real” gay men more times than I can really keep track of, and the odds of the anons who say those things being TERFs vs. cis gay men are about 70:30, I’d say. And mostly because of the platform.

Of all my encounters on dating apps, where I’m only seen by mlm, I think every cis man that’s been interested in me has been bi or pan. And a decent amount of those have been chasers. I love bi & pan men, but I can’t kick the fear that nobody who isn’t interested in women could be interested in me.

But this isn’t something I’ve seen anyone outside of the transmasc community address, and it’s frustrating. I don’t think most folks even know it happens, even if they’re already talking about similar issues in the lesbian community. If they do, well, nobody else is talking about it. How bad can it really be?

I’d love to see more discussions about the mlm community, the history of it, the problems with it, and ways these things could be better addressed. And I’d love for it to not just boil down to, like, drawing weird and unhinged lines between attraction to women and how misogynistic a person is.

#transmasc #mlm #trans mlm #ftm mlm #long post #transphobia tw #transandrophobia #not horses #Anonymous

[nightswithkookmin]

What you think of fetus V who said in front of everyone "You seem to really like men" to Jimin? Youthful ribbing? Or a moment of insensitivity ? FWI saying you like girls or guys? Or calling close same sex friends u a couple? is actually common where am from. This has happened in my friend circle too actually. Except all of us are hets so no one take it seriously. Cant think a closeted person would find it that funny. Jimins lack of denial or even laughing it off always stood out to me tho.

What do I think of that comment?

I think we both know very often when people say they think a man likes men, they mean to say they think that man is Gay and very often when the g-word is used in a sentence, it is not meant as a compliment- imma give it to you straight, no bs. Lol.

The parlance gay and variations of it, in my opinion, is often used ubiquitously and traditionally as a slur slang among ignorant, non-progressive, anti homosexual individuals and is often rooted in malice.

And when malice isn't intended, ridicule is. The sad fact is, people adopt the terminology as ammunition to blatantly attack, dehumanize, belittle and strip away the dignity of queer folks and when the term is used in reference to non queer people it has a similar effect. It degrades them as well through the irony and humor of comparing them to gay people.

Gay jokes, if you will, is a subtle art of passive aggressively slurring gay folks if you think about it. I mean let's be honest.

Personally, I don't think Tae's intentions in that moment were malicious at all. I don't think he blurted out those words with the intension to ridicule Jimin either- stay with me. It will make sense in a bit.

But he called Jimin gay nevertheless. His comment if a joke, I'm afraid, reinforces these bizzare stereotypes of masculinity and promotes toxic rhetorics prevalent especially within Kpop shipping communities where every Male idol interaction is hyper sexualised and romanticized thus, suggesting a man cannot love another man, be affectionate or be fond of them unless they secretly lusted after them and harbored a desire to lay down pipes in their behinds- which, honestly is crazy coming from a guy with a cultural background such as the Korean culture where kinship is commonplace but more on that later.

I think whatever which way we want to look at it, it was an insensitive comment especially if you believe he meant it as a joke. It was definitely not his most woke moment, socially and culturally- and that's putting it lightly.

That 'gay' comment to me is right up there with all the problematic statements some, if not all, of the members have made over the years- the colorism, racist jokes, the ' eww, you too black,' 'akekeke- you too tanned shoo,' implying if you're black or tanned you are ugly. The fat jokes, the misogyny and misogynior- please don't ask me to give you examples of these. I don't want to ruin BTS for you. Lol.

There are commentaries on these out there on the internet. You can look it up for yourselves- You welcome. Lol.

For the record, BTS have since retracted, acknowledged and apologized for most of these questionable moments throughout the years and so we cannot hold it against them, forever- not to make excuses for them but they are human too. They learn, they unlearn, they make mistakes, they correct them, they grow and as NamJoon said, they really were a bit 'unsophisticated' and rough around the edges in their earlier years- even if it was just five years ago from now, chilee. They is a mess. Lmho.

I think it's all part of the human process honestly- don't worry BTS, I have a lot of space in my heart for y'all to be human and still love ya. Keep going sweeties. Y'all's doing greatness de la grande kind!! Bless y'all.

In V's case he was, since that incident, put as a judge on a show that allegedly featured queer folks and he seemed more welcoming of them than the other judges on the panel, excluding RM of course.

A year later, he would make a song that the LBGTQ plus fraction of Army would rally behind as a highly pro gay song- Stigma, which I find debatable but whatever. I mean, just because JK has stars, clouds and the sky in his lyrics don't make him an astronaut or an environmentalist fighting the good cause for the climate but to each his own.

Stigma was still something, I'll give him that.

Flashforward to five years later, and he would be recommending songs by gay artists, appreciating and promoting gay art and the artists behind them, sporting rainbow outfits, designing a BT21 character that is genderless, incorporating sign language in his speeches- he polished up. Woke the hell up. Politically correct. Yadda yadda yadda.

I think, like some of the others, he too learned his lesson. It's not ok to trivialize the oppression of others or make light of it-

Now that we've gotten the woke bit out of the way, on to our shipping business. Follow me, chop chop. Lol.

Firt of all, I don't think that moment is a big deal. But I find it interesting nonetheless.

Do I think Tae was teasing Jimin in that moment when he made that statement? It's not quite easy as yes or no.

Personally, I think he was clocking him.

This interview was conducted at a point in the timeline where I feel Jimin was shedding his image as the Maknae obsessed hyung in the group. He was coming into his own and embracing himself for who he is and that I think included his sexuality.

Prior to, he had in my opinion, since debut, slipped into the role of the queer jest of the group supplying queer humor and entertainment for listeners at radio shows by offering himself up for ridicule as the 'gay guy' within the group- I hated every bit of it. Lol.

You'd often hear the members refer to him as the one good with the guys, the boy in love with the Maknae- There is still a fraction of Army that see him as this persona but he has since outgrown that label and that phase.

RM was basically the Black jest of the group, offering himself up for ridicule for his darker skin tone right down to his blaccent. Can you do your black accent? They will ask him at interviews and he would proceed to deliver a walmart version of the Black American English. Sigh.

Compared to the previous year where he literally gasped and panicked when the members hinted at his sexuality or made statements that put his sexuality into question, Jimin seemed more in control and mentally prepared during this interview.

When the question was asked of him, the question of why he liked JK, his instincts it seemed was to steer the conversation away from his sexuality- a tactic the rest of the members would employ to avoid discussing Jikook a few months from that interview...

I mean, when Tae asked Jimin on JK's birthday that same year what he wanted to give JK, RM cut in before JM answered. Jimin had done the same thing when in an interview JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was stuttering not knowing what to say in response. JM asked him not to answer the question.

When interviewers ask these questions, they do so for entertainment purposes- because who doesn't like gay jokes, amirite?

For heterosexual idols I assume it's not slippery slope for them to engage in these kinds of humor. They can play gay without risking exposing their heterosexuality and when they do play gay it's for jest.

It's not the same for queer idols I think.

Jimin was basically done being the butt of the gay jokes in 2015, he was done selling himself as the JK shit rainbows and I'm the unicorn fixated on him kinda person and it reflected in that conversation.

'I don't like everything about this boy. He ain't all that. But he is the Maknae and he cute so whatever' lol.

Like I said, I think Jimin was steering the conversation away from his sexuality but Tae's comment steered the conversation right back to it. 'I just think he likes men.'

Most South Koreans I've met in person and on the internet spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to dispel the western notion of gayness projected on to Korean men for their skinship culture.

We like to glamorize gayness in these streets but in reality gay is stigmatized especially in places like South Korea. People don't readily read gay in Male interactions unless they were being homophobic or socially unaware.

To me, Tae's statement was more of an observation about Jimin, one which he felt a need to contribute to the discussion they were having, perhaps to provide insight into the inner workings of Jimin rather than as a joke or jest- or may be he did both.

Jimin managed to avoid opening himself up for the gay jokes and to this Tae then responded, I just think you is gay sir- The emphasis has been mine. Lol.

The thing about Tae is, in the earlier days he used to have a habit of 'exposing' Jimin whenever Jimin told half truths and what not.

For example, in 2014 during an interview when JM was asked what he wanted to do on his free days he had said he wanted to spend time with his family or something and Tae immediately checked him saying he was lying. Jimin then said he wanted to be with Jungkook which had JK fuming.

Was he teasing JM when he called him out for lying about his true desires? May be but I think he meant it too. Know what I mean?

He did the same thing when during their Paris VLive, Jimin got nervous when JK was singing 'know you love me boy, so that I love you,' in the background and Tae asked Jimin if he was nervous. Jimin snapped out of whatever whipped trance he was in and asked 'why would I be nervous' or something along those lines.

Why would Tae assume JM was nervous listening to another man sing? And why would Jimin be nervous in the first place?

And if at an interview Jimin is asked, why don't you like listening to the Maknae sing and JM responded that he is cute but he can't sing and Tae says well I think listening to Jk sing makes him nervous- would that be youthful ribbing or tea? Do you see where I'm going with this?

I see Tae as very observant- If not more observant than Jk. Their jokes are punchier because it is rooted in truth. He is stating his opinion, his observations and when he felt JM's answers were dishonest or inconsistent of his general notion of him, he called him out on that.

It's like him saying JM likes to pretend to be drunk in order to tell Tae he loves him- allegedly. Was it funny, yes. Was it a lie? I don't think so.

Jimin likes to pretend, we been knew. His boyfriend don spilled that tea already. I mean Jk said JM faked being asleep when he noticed the cameras filming him. He said also JM knows he is cute so sometimes he intentionally acts cute.

Tae used to tease Jimin a lot- hell he still teases him a lot to this day. Lol. Had Jimin looking at the back of his head like he wanted to quick punch him in the throat in the recent run, chilee. Lmho.

But you gotta ask, where is the lie in all those jokes?

The question I ask myself, and I think we ought to ask ourselves as shippers is, what about Jimin gave Tae that impression of him in the first place?

What made Tae, coming from a culture and background where 'gay' is a taboo and skinship is prevalent assume that if Jimin liked JK then it was because he liked men or was gay?

Even if Tae meant it as a Joke- no one laughed. Lol. That awkward silence that ensued... now that's how you know he had deadass made a 'gay comment' for real. Lmho.

They were all silent, waiting for JM's response and only laughed when JM responded to Tae- isn't that how it usually goes when you are the one queer person at the het dinner table? The tasteless jokes, awkward silences and stares? Just me? Oh, never mind then. Keep reading. Lol.

Imagine if JM hadn't responded or had gay panicked like he did a year before that interview, when RM revealed JK had been sneaking into JM's bed at night?

Dude was legit ready to throw JK under the bus had it not been for the shady camera guy behind the cameras. Deadass, Jimin was pointing accusing fingers at JK and everything- so much for gay love. Lmho.

The question still remains, what makes you look at your heterosexual friend and go- hey, that's gay. Think about it.

If Tae thought Jimin liked men, even as a joke, it's probably because Jimin had been giving him a reason or reasons to believe he actually liked boys beyond the usual daily doze of gay prevalent within K-culture.

It's similar to JK feeling uncomfortable when Jimin in 2014 described their relationship as one between love and friendship. Jimin responding with male friends can love eachother too without being gay would imply JK was interpreting his words and actions towards him as laced with romantic and sexual subtext or intent.

Now why would JK assume this if men touching men and feeling up on eachother in their culture was a normal thing?

There are gay men in Korea you know?

Tae and Kook were both hyper aware and curious of Jimin's sexuality in that period- for different reasons of course. In my opinion.

Not sure if Jimin's androgynous features played a role in these suspicions and assumptions they had of him in the early days because androgynousity in men is often ignorantly profiled and stereotyped as queer.

Tae seemed convinced JM was queer at least and JK was projecting his own queerness on to Jimin a lot- cough, cough.

It seemed to me also that Tae for whatever reason had the impression JM had a thing for him? I'll save my VMin agenda for delulu Fridays but chilee I don't know, Jimin has been on an agenda to friendzone that man since those manly mans thawed off his chest. Lol.

VMIN... ok.

I mean Jimin's response to Tae was more to deflate Tae's ego than to deflect or evade the issue and I wonder why. 'You are so full of yourself' 'I may like men, but I don't like you' and Tae responds with 'really' as if he's been challenged or dared- ever had your straight friends assume you like them just because you are queer?

Anywho, for whatever reason, Jimin seemed to be the only member in the group around the early days whose words and actions were put through the queer litmus test.

Also, I think a distinction ought to be made between calling two same sex friends a couple and calling them gay.

Calling two friends a couple is inconsequential- except when their sexuality is on the line. Calling two same sex friends you know are straight a couple is nothing but a gay joke.

BTS do this all the time. Jimin called Namjin a couple, Tae kook a couple, himself and Suga a couple, himself and JK a couple.

Jk has equally referred to others within the group as a couple, made heart signs above them, and have even held his chest and said he never thought he would fall for a guy.

In none of these instances did he or any of them imply that they or the persons they were referring to were queer or liked men and I wouldn't make much of such comments.

When JK was called out for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others, Tae teased JK as well and his gestures implied to me, 'it's ok to like him, I know you like him, you like JM don't you, uWu' and other variations of these.

But he in no way hinted at the sexuality of JK explicitly or implicitly- not in a way that prompts a response or rebuttal from JK like it did in Jimin's case.

I guess what I'm saying is that, that moment is nothing but something at the same time. You look at Tae's personality and his reputation within the group as the one with no filter who blurts out things that often has BTS running helter skelter- that 'I want to see your children" comment at Festa almost gave RM an aneurysm. Lmho.

Then they had to literally take his mic away from him when he started talking about meeting a pretty chick or something at a fansigns.

You consider the history between him and Jimin, the context behind that comment and the things that was said after that comment- the interviewer said 'well JK is really handsome...' which means he took the 'joke' Tae had made to mean JM had romantic interest in JK- something I feel JM was trying to avoid.

I don't think Tae meant anything by it. I don't think he knew at the time JM was queer but I do believe he suspected he was.

Hope this helps,

Signed,

GOLDY

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

A weird request but I'm shooting my shot: Kohga did such a good job of shapeshifting into Urbosa in AoC... any chance he'd try to do it again just to see what it's like to fuck in a female-presenting body? 😅

Oooooh this is a SPICY idea. You guys have such good ideas, it's impossible to get anything else done around here. Let me tell you how I'D think it'd go.

Kohga loved men. Big, burly men who could throw him across the room like a rag doll, fuck his ass into oblivion, and only call him back when they wanted another spin. Unfortunately, getting fucked was growing tiresome. Wild of HIM to say, he was aware. But as he sat there at a stable, drinking and being alone, he realized; there were so many men here, and while he could charm his way into their pants, he wanted to mix it up. Then it occurred to him. He could go for the straight boys. The cuties who'd give their boots up for a chance to talk to a girl. So.

Why not BE just that dream girl for a night? Finishing off his drink, he walked out of the stable, and stepped foot outside. He used the tranquil river water as a mirror, and sgape shifted into Urbosa. 

"Er...maybe not her. If she found out, not even Sooga could save me. Let's keep the base, change a few things here…"

Long, red hair, right up to the ass (Kohga was most saddened to see this go, but unfortunately Gerudo women could NOT handle that kinda power), held up in a simple ponytail. Nice, full nose, plush pink lips, and of course, those trademark gerudo hips. Couple that with a nice red skirt (long enough to cover, but not completely. Men loved some leg), and a nice top piece that BARELY pardoned itself from being a bra. He had to hand it to himself, he got CANS. A little bit of jewelry, some heels, and he looked BEGGING to get fucked.

"Alright….'Kiki', let's get you some dick. Kiki sounds right. Assuming they'll even remember me past these titties."

He walked back inside, casually, and holy SHIT did he get looks. Starved boys eager for a meal, and Kohga was SERVING. He fought the urge to grin, and put up a docile front. Gerudo women were strong, fierce, but not this one. At least, not yet. He wanted to draw these poor unfortunate souls in before he showed any of his true colors.

"Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but may I sit with the three of you? I hate to be all by my lonesome."

Watching them scatter to get him a chair was hilarious, he nearly busted up laughing. The cute one with white hair beat them to it though, and Kohga nodded in appreciation. 

"Thank you. That was terribly sweet of you."

A little scratch to the chin nearly sent the guy to the floor. How cute. One of the men tried not to sound too giddy, but he failed.

"So! What's your name? And how come you're here by yourself?"

"Kiki. And I was supposed to meet someone for a date, but...well. That was hours ago. I wanted to walk back home, but it's so cold, and it's so far...I didn't want to be alone."

Course that riled them up. A beautiful woman, heart broken and lonely? Straight guys ate that bullshit up like pigs to slop. 

"What?! No way, someone stood you up?"

"What an idiot!"

"And rude! Giving such a pretty lady a hard time!"

"Would I deserve a hard time if I wasn't beautiful?"

He watched as the red headed guy stammered, worried he fucked up, before Kohga tossed his head back and laughed, lightly swatting his hand. 

"Oh come on, I'm just giving you a hard time!"

The three of them chuckled in relief, and Kohga couldn’t believe he was just. SO charming, form be dammed. He folded one leg over the other, and noticed their eyes followed. No one could REALLY resist gerudo legs.

"So what are YOU three doing here on your own? Waiting on your lady friends?"

They all went silent on that question, and he faked surprise. No shit they were single. Only whores wanted these losers, cute as they were (he was the whore, case there was any confusion there).

"Sa'oten! You three absolute adorable voes? All alone? Well. Least that means no one will be upset with me if I do this."

He scanned over his pick of the litter, and decided on the one with long, brown ish hair. He was a bit thin from being a dream boat, but he was honestly pretty damn cute. He held onto that sharp chin, and pulled him into a nice, long kiss. He kept it slow, smooth, really putting on a show for the other two. How greedy their eyes were. He peeled away from him, not even trying to hide his massive grin. They gawked at him, completely stunned that some gerudo woman was suddenly all over them. He fixed his smudged makeup, before folding his arms over his chest, right under his massive rack.

"Now, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm rather parched. Which of you boys wants to buy me a drink?"

You've never seen three men raise their hands up so quickly in all your life.

"No please, I do believe I've had enough!"

'Kiki' laughed, swatting away another offer for a drink. He made these three send so many rupees on him. Drinks, flowers, and lots, and lots of food. He couldn’t help it. The way they threw themselves at her at any opportunity just made him absolutely giddy. Though he was happy he cut himself off, less he be too tired for the REAL main course of the night. After some pretty eyes (and a mourning wallet), Kohga got them to pay for a room, just for the four of them. Course, Kiki was far too tipsy to walk there on her own, so they had to help her into the large, plush bed. In reality he just wanted to be carried, but hey, he deserved the special treatment.

"Oh...Sarqso. You three made my night much less lonely."

He could tell these guys were lost. They didn't know if she was inviting them to join, so Kiki had to make it rather obvious. He un did the strap to the bra, before peeling it away, and letting it fall to the floor. God, he really did give himself a pair of double D's, even he had to take a quick second to admire them. He pointed to the one who hadn't gotten any affection all night (a cute stable hand with messy, messy hair), and gestured him forward.

"Please. Allow me to return the favor."

He hesitated, clearly nervous, before Kiki took his hands, and placed them right at her chest. Granted Kohga wasn't much of a chest guy, but it seemed unfair to NOT let them play with them. And play with them he did. He cupped and massaged at her chest, all while Kiki raked her fingers through his hair. Such a cute boy. She turned her glance to the other two, and she sighed, as if full of woe.

"I don't think he'll let me reach over to take off the rest of these pesky clothes. Would one of you be a dear and-"

The white haired man jabbed the other in the gut, beating him to the bed. It made Kiki laugh, and she helped him by lifting her legs. Off came the skirt, and the pretty little panties. A nice patch of red hair highlighted that fair, dark skin. Kohga just couldn’t stop being fine. She no longer felt the need to bark orders, and let the boys do as they pleased. For now. One kept playing with her tits, occasionally suckling on them, one kept rubbing his tongue over hers, and the last fellow was copping a good feel for her legs. She chuckled as she parted the kiss, gliding her hand across his scalp, before getting a handful of that nice, red hair.

"Hmmm...you boys are excited. I like that, really I do. Now, pants down, let me see my new toys."

She had no problems playing with her breasts as motivation, occasionally pinching and flicking at her own nipples. She wanted to drool. A cock with an upward curve, one that was straight, and one that seemed to curve downward. Fun variety. She ended up with the upwards curvy one, and the white haired man had no qualms rubbing it in their faces. He loomed over her, rubbing his hard cock against her clit, making Kiki jump a bit. That was...sensitive. He looked at her confused, before she giggled.

"Sorry, guys usually hit it from the back, so this is a first. Don't do me gentle though, I'm a real tough cookie."

He nodded, pushing his tip inside those wet pussy lips. It was enough for her to arch her back, biting her bottom lip. Oh, he was going to get fucked SO good. He started to move slowly, letting her get used to him, before she motioned for the other two.

"Come on, I still have a mouth and a hand for you boys~"

The red head and his little friend rose to the opportunity. Hell, bed head made it more fun by riding her pretty face. Not just shoving his whole cock down her throat, not JUST shoving those balls in her face, but letting him toy with her huge, perfect titties. Kiki used her free hand to stroke the other cock in her hand, and she was in heaven. Her lips sucked and slurped at cock, smearing lipstick and drool all over it, her hand pumped that cock in her hand, and her pussy seemed to welcome the steady thrusts of a nice, full cock.

"Come on boys, be a bit MEAN to me here!"

Kiki complained, pulling her face away from the nice, throbbing cock for a moment. She was about to talk so much more shit, before the boys started to take the hint. One started to slap and yank at her breasts, one rubbed her clit in fast, aggressive circles, and one wrapped his hands around her throat, forcing her to gag and slobber all over that cock. She could feel drool dribble down her face, feel her pussy juices soak onto the sheets, and she even found her titties slick with little dribbles of her own milk. You'd think, as a gay man, this would be super gross.

You'd be wrong. Getting throat fucked, getting a new hole absolutely RAMMED, not to mention huge, slick breasts that seemed irresistible to a good suckling, Kohga was in absolute heaven. So much so that when the man above her pulled away, letting her breathe, she was moaning like a total whore.

"Oh you boys are BAD. Come on, fuck me. Cover me in all that hot cum, shove it right inside of me too. I want to taste how hungry you boys are for me, I wanna feel your hot cream inside of me. So pull up your FUCKING girdles, and FUCK ME."

Kiki was a VERY demanding woman. And despite the submissive posture, she was VERY much in charge. They kept as she commanded, harder, faster, swears under their breaths, the room filled with the yummy sound of horny, lust filled men. Then they came. Oh they came. Kiki felt a load shoved in her throat, felt ribbons of cum land on her tits and her stomach, and finally, finally, cum right into her pussy. Kohga held his legs nice and high for that, crying out in relief. Oh, so much thick, delicious cum from those nice, juicy cocks. They sat there, throwing their seed at her, before they seemed to pull away. Kiki finally found her breath, and she couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh...you boys needed that. All this tasty cum, just for me."

Kiki pushed them off of her, before getting on her hands and knees, shaking her butt from side to side.

"Now. I want one under me, one in the back, and one in the front."

There was no movement, and she slammed her fist into the wall beside her.

"Dicks. Now."

In both arousal and fear, they gave her what she wanted. One snaked underneath her, pushing his cock into her already stuffed hole, while one pushed himself right into her ass. Now THAT was an all too familiar sensation. She chuckled, massaging the balls in front of her.

"Oh, and spank me. Lots of spanking. I want it to-ooh!"

Kiki didn't wait long before an open palm struck her bare ass. She giggled, shoving her face against the cock in front of her.

"Ooh you are a MEAN boy. Do it again, mark my ass-oh shit!!~"

One thing Kohga and Kiki had in common; they both LOVED a good, hard spanking. That, and the notion of LOTS more cum. And neither were scared to work for it.

---------------------------

Kiki looked back at the slumbering pile of men next to her. Five rounds each, she pulled a nice fifteen loads from these horny lil puppies. Not too bad for Kiki, but for Kohga? Bit on the weak side. Kiki was just as cruel though; making them kiss each other for her, making them lick and slurp at her cum soaked pussy- they did everything she wanted. She fixed herself up a bit, lapping any cum she had left on her face (no wasting food here), and tossing her useless panties on the pile of slumbering men. Just for something for them to fight over later, before walking out of the stable. Sooga was there, just how he commanded.

"There you are! I'm ready to go home!"

Sooga looked her up and down, questionably.

"May I ask...why?"

"Can't I just look pretty? Besides, I'm finally your height now!"

Kiki wrapped her arms around him, stuffing his face in her bust. He groaned, raising a hand in objection.

"I MUCH prefer Master Kohga’s chest, if you don't mind."

Kohga giggled, leaping into his arms and turning back to his usual, perfect self.

"You want Kohga’s chest, eh? Come on, let's go home. I'm in the mood to indulge you a little, Soogy~"

Kohga was FAR from done for tonight.

#asks #kohga #lemon #listen #kohga would lowkey be into getting milked

[bondsmagii]

what embarassing/annoying things lgbt people do online? I dont spend a lot of time on the internet outside of my niche so im genuinely curious

god where do I even start… to be honest I’ve always been wary of communities in general because personal experience has taught me that things get weird fast, but I’ve never seen anything quite like LGBT circles online. some of the things I notice fairly frequently:

making everything about being LGBT to a freaky level; I just don’t think it’s healthy to have your gender and/or sexuality be your entire personality

related to this, making everything the x experience – the gay experience, the trans experience, etc. many of the things mentioned are things that everyone experiences, and most disturbingly, many of the things lauded as the x experience are actually symptoms of extreme trauma (feeling like there’s something inherently wrong with you, feeling lonely, constantly yearning but not knowing for what, etc). even if this trauma is related to your being LGBT, it isn’t healthy and people shouldn’t be accepting it as normal and encouraging it in others. trauma isn’t natural.

the top/bottom thing. like. ugh. I’m a dude in a relationship with another dude so this really makes me uncomfortable. the importance put on if someone is a top or a bottom, assigning personality traits to people based on this, saying stupid shit like “bottoms can’t park” or whatever, and just the extreme fascination with if someone is a top or a bottom… it’s very fetishising. even if people are talking about themselves, that’s still a detail of your sexual life that I do not want to know. it’s not appropriate to talk like that in front of strangers.

going on from this, how overly sexual a large chunk of the community seems to be. it’s not appropriate. I know this one isn’t LGBT specific, but in my personal experiences my straight/cis friends do not talk like this, but if someone finds out I’m LGBT too, they seem to think it’s fine to start talking in detail about their sex life/ask me invasive questions about mine. it’s not fine.

the really fetishising treatment of male/male couples even in the LGBT community is really… not good. my relationship isn’t a cute commodity that only exists for your fandoms.

the misandry is absolutely atrocious. lesbians are out there thinking it’s fine to declare men useless just because they don’t need us for sex; bi women are out there lamenting the fact they’re attracted to us disgusting men and why couldn’t they just be a lesbian. I’ve even seen bi women say they’re going to just ignore their attraction to men and choose women, perpetrating harmful myths that a) you can choose your sexuality and b) bisexuals are just faking and are capable of just “picking a side”.

the community has an extreme problem with policing one another and a lot of issues that they spend time and energy debating are pointless and just stupid, if I’m honest.

the fact that vehement hate is seen as OK so long as it’s directed against straight, cis people. it’s not.

the fact that cis, straight people can’t even mention the above point without being ripped apart, ridiculed, harrassed, insulted, and threatened is also not OK.

the diluting of actual important terms. “transphobia” and “homophobia” grow murkier by the day; people are being accused of these incredibly serious prejudices over stupid Tumblr arguments that rarely have anything to do with actual issues or aggressions.

the idea that if you’re LGBT you’re automatically free of blame, innocent, can do no wrong, etc. there are nasty people of every gender and sexuality. you’re not except from being abusive, oppressive, etc just because you yourself are a minority.

the fact that people out there reclaiming “queer” think they can call everyone in the LGBT community “queer” and if someone protests they’re “speaking over” them or setting back the movement or whatever. I have no problem if you identify that way, but I am not queer. I’m bi.

at least on this website it’s L rather than LGBT: ➡ gay men are shat on almost as badly as straight men, unless they’re trans, and then they’re treated like cute uwu transboys who are somehow exempt from the hatred levelled at cis men, proving that these people don’t see them as “real” men. ➡bi people (if acknowledged as bi and not just the umbrella term “gay”) suffer from a whole lot of internal prejudices, with bi women being seen/encouraged to be “lesbians” and bi men just not fucking mentioned at all. also we’re usually completely forgotten about; characters can’t be bi, they have to be gay (and shipping them with a member of the opposite sex is seen as “erasure”) or they’re straight. ➡ trans people get incredible amounts of transphobia within the community from cis LGBT people; trans men, as mentioned above, aren’t treated as “real” men and are seen as Men Lite™, and the arguments for this (that they don’t share the same chemical biology as men; that they were “raised as girls”) are transphobic and also dysphoric as hell. trans women get shit from all sides and there’s an incredible TERF problem in the community, especially among lesbians. 

basically everyone is infighting, perpetrating harmful myths, speaking over people, forcing adherence to behaviours many might not be comfortable with, and generally being generalising, inappropriate, and wholly embarrassing. the way the community has got on over the last few years alone has probably set the movement back a decade.

#anon #asks

[interrogatorshalashaska]

2008

George is worried, of course he is, you're giving every reason for him to be. You're better then this focus- he sounds so much like, when he's- when he- says... You are Ocelot. But when he says... Those part of you scraps at the surface of your mind only to be shoved down. It's not him. It's not him. You're plan will get him back, it had too.

TW: Grief, Mistaken identity, ?weird romantic undertones with George and Ocelot? Are they together who knows somethings going on, Mentions of past relationship with Olga and Big Boss, Adam misses Big Boss. Liquid Snake's ghost being annoying. Drugs, drug abuse, Ghost Possession. 

-- let me know if I missed anything or should tag anything

Grey eyes stare unfocused ahead glaring at Eli who smirked tauntingly mouthing insults and annoying things.

“Stupid Old Man are you even listening to fake Big Boss over there or am I just so handsome you can't take your eyes off-”

A hand on Ocelot's shoulder and a soft familiar voice filled with concern. “Adam...”

“J-George...”

Adam hoped he didn't notice the slip up, it had been his fault after all- shut it.

“Are you alright Adam, you seem... unfocused. Are you still not feeling well?”

Impulse had him smile softly, he so badly wanted to lean into him, so badly wanted to touch his face- so badly wished it could be John and not just a perfect clone. It wasn't him but he so desperately wished it was him.

“I... Perhaps I should go lay down, I apologize for wasting your time George. I'll feel better in an hour or so and we can continue then.”

“Of course.”

His hand never leaves his shoulder, Ocelot- Adam, Adamska's breath catches in his throat as George suddenly reaches and traces his cheek leans close their noses touching, breath mingling.

Adam's heart pounded in his ears and he couldn't hide the way his face flushed, control yourself damn it! You're better then this! BUT HE LOOKS JUST LIKE- STOP!?

Liquid was having a great time, cackling in the background hysterically finding your suffering as usual amusing.

Ocelot pulls free, his stomach twisting as he manages out through his breathlessness.

“don't want to get you sick Boss... We'll talk later, promise.”

A soft smile and a gentle wink as he turns and starts to walk away, heading straight for his room. A few of – he can't think, can't focus stumbling a bit but quick to hide this walk. Left, right. Right, left.

He pushes the door to his room open, steps inside and locks it behind him before sliding down the door and simply letting himself wheeze alongside his racing his heart.

“You're so pitiful, and that's saying something Ocelot, I'm dead and I find you pitiable. You know that's not him and yet you can't help but react, and even then you still tune him out. Which is it, is he good enough or not.”

“Shut your mouth you brat-”

“He gave you this arm aren't you happy with it, with me! It's ALMOST like you have Father back. You creepy old man.”

Ocelot's lip twitches and hisses slamming himself to his feet he moves over towards his nightstand and crouching down alongside his suitcase absentmindedly putting in the code. [1964].

“You know, the code used to be 1944, but I changed it after meeting-”

“My Father I know, everything you DO is because you met my stupid Father, I get it Ocelot you're gay. Jesus Christ-”

Liquid, Eli huffs annoyed, it wasn't the first time their topic had circled around to something like this. Ocelot simply replies barely thinking as he opens the suitcase.

“And you're not, you and Mantis seemed pretty close-”

“It was pretty platonic, but we loved each other, I'm bi, by the way. Women, Men I don't care, though seems like you'd gotten a crush on a pretty someone-”

Ocelot frowned and shrugs shaking his head.

“It's not like that, I respect her is all.”

“Sure- so what are we using this time, can you shot me too? Even as a ghost I get that nice warm tingle feeling, better then the bland nothingness or suffocating feeling when you lay on my arm weird.”

“Promise I'm not doing it on purpose, just force me to roll over or something when I'm asleep.”

“Can't whatever pills you take to sleep your out like nobodies business actually I'd say its a safety hazard in your line of work.”

“I don't sleep on missions, not on the battlefield and certainly not when I might be needed at any time.”

“That is another reason I don't bother you when you sleep old man... Ocelot you're what now? 60? Sleep more and cut back on this shit, foolish old man.”

Ocelot can't help but think Liquid sounds disapproving, almost like...

“Eli... It's almost like you care about me!~”

Liquid grits his teeth and lets out a tck at his name being used, but continued with what he planned to say anyways.

“Don't do that. You've got my arm so its in my benefit for you to stay alive.”

“Yeah yeah... Sure kid.”

Ocelot grunts as he slams another needle into him.

“...stop- what are you-”

“Want some?”

“No that's- that's too much.”

Liquid looked annoyed now reaching forward to try and grab hold of his arm.

“If you do not stop this recklessness- is it because I just- no. Is it because- you pitiful old man- STOP IT.”

“ELI-”

“DON'T CALL ME THAT- ADAMSKA, DROP IT. DROP IT RIGHT NOW! YOUR NOT GONNA OVERDOSE IF I CAN HELP IT!?”

“I'M NOT TRYING TO OVERDOSE I'M TRYING TO GET HIGH FASTER!”

“YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!?”

Left and right hand wrestle for the needle Ocelot kicks out towards Liquid despite knowing it wouldn't do anything. It simply phased through the ghost who was gripping hold of his right hand.

Ocelot curses and hisses his left hand finally giving up as his right snatches the needle and tosses it away as they flop to the floor.

“...stupid... kid...”

He pants out frustrated groans, blue eyes glare down at him.

“See, I told you, already took to much. Calm yourself or else I'll possess you and take you straight too- ??? He's here why- did he hear fighting Crazy Ivan?”

George's voice sounds from the other side of the door, he pounded on it. Normally Ocelot would of responded to Liquid's quip with something but...

“Ocelot? Are you alright, someone mentioned they heard strange sounds and you shouting in here-”

More knocking, Ocelot hyperventilated, his mind spinning on what to say but his head hurt and he was tired and just wanted to be alone until his heart calmed down- or stopped- stop that.

“Adam... Please open the door.”

He sounds just like- Adamska hates how he tears up, how he can almost pretend it was John worried for him- how he could almost pretend somehow all his plans had worried and John was his again and safe...

He tries to sit up, or crawl but all he manages to do was flop onto his belly and move up an inch or two. He groans everything was spinning his heart nearly deafening the sound of John's voice-

“Adam- can you not open the door?”

Adam manages to groan out a word.

“...J...sorry...”

And next thing he knew Liquid lets out a shocked sound as George knocks the door down, he had gone quiet to Ocelot's surprise just watching everything unsurely.

And next thing Ocelot- Adamska- Adam. Knew was that he was in G- John's arms, he whimpers despite himself nuzzling into the man's chest. Single blue eye staring down worriedly at him, gently touching his face.

“What happened Adam? Do you want me to put you in bed or should I take you to medical?”

He hates how his voice unconvincingly croaks.

“bed...”

“Can I stay with you?”

He hates how he smiles a bit, hates how tears were dripping down his face, hates hates hates- loves loves loves-

“...please... don't leave me...”

“Of course...”

George gently moves the blankets aside and places Adam, taking the man's shirt off and binder, wouldn't be safe for him to sleep in it after all before covering him up. He takes his own shirt off and climbs into the other side of the bed wrapping his arms around Ocelot who presses into the cuddle desperately turning towards him and nuzzling his hot face into his neck and shoulder mumbling.

“...j... imsorryimsosorry... couldn't protect...”

“It's ok Adam, I can protect myself... Everything will be ok, go to sleep ok breath with me. In and out.”

But he just shakes his head voice still muffled by his neck.

“...pills, nightstand. Can't sleep otherwise...”

George carefully sits up, Adam gently rising with him refusing to let go of him, he opens the nightstand and grabs a bottle and opens it and holds the pill out. “Here.”

“mhm...”

He can feel Ocelot try and move back a bit but he ends up just helping the older man pull back from his neck and swallow the pill before laying them both down.

“...j...don'tleaveme...please...don't...lea.v...”

He mumbles it before finally going quiet, his breathing evening out and a snore filled his ear, quiet enough that he'd never noticed it until now.

“I promise Adam, I won't leave you and I'll be the one protecting you.”

Liquid Snake simply shakes his head, he took note of all of this, blackmail material was always fun. Though he made a mental note to be a bit more aggressive if Ocelot tried anything like this again in the future, he can't hope George catches wind of it and stops him every time now can he?

#2008 #Too Be Decided #TBD #Long post #//Grief #//Drugs #//Drug abuse #//ghost possession #10 pages #no beta reader #[George Sears] #[Solidus Snake] #[Revolver Ocelot] #[Liquid Snake] #[MGS2] #shalashaska posts #shalashaska's writing #Anything I should fix let me know #//depersonalization #//unspecified illness #//long term illness #1 / 10 #rough draft

[go-diane-winchester]

Why I detest Misha's stance as a liberal thinker

I have edited out this person's name for their own safety because they said something positive about me.  And the hellers are not going to be happy about that.  If Jensen can get threats from these people, then so can this individual. 

I can understand you resistance.  You probably spent ten years loving the man.  People cant just switch that off, especially when the guy champions something that the fan might find meaningful.  Women of color still remember Jensen's co-star Megalyn with fondness, as well as the eyebrow-raising sex scene between them.  Jared spoke favorably about Muslims, with Jensen nodding vigorously in agreement and Muslim fans found that meaningful.  When a trans fan takes pictures with a  beaming Jensen or Jared, other trans fans feel happy about it.  Everyone looks for something to love about an actor.  Then are also actors whom we might hate because of something they did that made them fall in our eyes. 

Maybe you are LGBT and Misha considers himself an LGBT champion.  You feel welcomed and included in his circle in a way that you don't, with J2.  I get it.  Maybe you are a woman, and feel like he is a feminist champion.  There are many reasons why anyone would like the guy.  If you have loved him for some many years, for those very reasons, some yahoo yelling her head off on Tumblr, is not going to change your mind.  I get it.  So if Misha is a nice guy, how come I still don't like him?  It is because I don't feel that man is genuine, that is why?

There are two kinds of problematic liberals:  The posers, and the bullies.  Misha is both of them.  I think there are nice liberals out there.  And once upon a time, liberalism was obviously a nice thing.  The idea sounds nice.  You want to not exclude people.  You want people to love as they wish.  You don't want hate governing your existence.  That is how liberals thought.  Now that has changed.  Misha, and people like him, are liberal bullies.  It seems to be the norm.  Liberal bullies don't work for change.  They want to enforce it aggressively.  And the worst thing is, they speak for everyone else.  There are LGBT fans that hate Misha and wish he would keep quiet.  There are women like me who think America has too many nasty women.  Why does it need more?  What hypocrisy though.  America needs nasty women, but destiel shippers are perverts.  So women aren't allowed to sexually express themselves without being seen as perverts and their art being reduced to porn.  That is Misha being a poser.  He is a champion for the LGBT but made a trans joke about Jensen's picture from his younger days.  Posers are hypocrites.      

Compared to him, Jensen is a proper liberal.  Jensen doesn't overtalk about ''how inclusive'' he is.  He doesn't brag, in other words.  Jensen considers inclusiveness about including everyone.  This includes the Christians.  He is friends with the Ducks, but his aunt is LGBT.  That is how to be a liberal.  You don't exclude people and then say you are including.  The first time Misha was asked about his role as an angel and about Christianity, he bashed the Bible.  I am a Muslim, but I was well and truly offended on behalf of the Christians in the audience.  I feel sorry for any Christian who paid to sit in that audience and get treated so horribly.  What a let down that must have been.  Jared did something similar once, regarding Christianity, on Twitter, but later amended his ways.  You make mistakes.  You learn.  It is what makes you human. Misha, as far as I know, hasn't done that.  But I would love to be corrected.

Jensen is a liberal where it counts.  He is not an activist, 24/7.  Jensen had a heart to heart with a trans fan once, and urged her to get out of the closet.  She promised that she would.  But if the same guy says no to destiel, he gets a death threat for being a bigot.  Why is that happening?  Because Misha has spent ten years, educating his younger fan base.  The millennials of today were teens back then.  And he has completely conditioned their thinking.  They have mini-Misha tendencies and feign offense at some really silly things, because they think it will benefit him.  Getting mock offended at everything that comes out of Jared's mouth is one such example.  Like him, they mock a situation or go straight into campaigning and activism.  His entire behavior with regards to Trump is faulty. 

Trump was the reason, I actually liked Misha.  Because Misha was vocally against Trump, I respected that.  I cant like a man who misplaces about a 1000 children at the border.  But then Misha didn't stop.  His tweets seemed to be more for attention than for the greater good.  That is liberal bully mode.  Liberal bullies tend to mock.  How is that going to help the children at the border?  How is it going to stop America from economic collapse?  He is not helping the situation.  He is not educating anyone.  There are gay men who hate the couple that sued the Christian bakery.  The couple were liberal bullies.  They said that they could find a liberal bakery but were ''making an example'' out of the bakery.  In other words, they were destroying the livelihood of an entire family to make a point.  The gay guys who were against them, were proper liberals.  They recognized that what this couple was doing, was unethical.  Of course, I lost respect for Misha's anti-Trump stance, when I realized he was in girl power mode and pushing for Hillary.  If somebody cant see anything wrong with Hillary, then they are blind.  Misha was urging people to vote for a vagina.  As a woman, I say, NO.  Affirmative action has no place in government...or anywhere else for that matter.  Vote for character and integrity, not girl power.

I am not young.  Maybe that is why my perspective of the world is different from yours.  Maybe you don't see what I see.  For now.  But one day you will grow a little older, and might see the world with some wisdom in your eyes, and then you might realize what I am saying.  Misha is a troublemaker and an influencer.  It took me eight years to realize this.  It might take you longer.  But I hope you see the light some day.  I once said I wouldn't speak about Misha's politics.  But since, I realized he is a hypocrite, I have changed my stance.  I am South African.  There are no liberals amongst us, but American politics is in tatters because of loud mouths like Misha, and its baffling to foreigners like myself to watch.  You don't even see the division. 

Please excuse the typos and thanks for reading.

#misha #jensen ackles #destiel #cockles #jenmish #jensen and misha #deancas #casdean #dean x castiel #castiel #cas #bi dean #dean is bi #dean and cas #jenmisheel #dean winchester #destiel headcanon #jdvm #misha collins #sam winchester #sam and dean #jensen and jared #wincest #supernatural #jared padalecki #padackles #performing dean #sabriel #sammy winchester #j2

[ofcloudsandstars]

It is Gemini New Moon and I am back! (for now) My life is still a maelstrom but the dust is starting to settle.

I’ve been getting more into different forms of divining and I bought a pendulum while I was in Amsterdam that I would like to try out. I will probably give more info on that later. 

Some highlights from when I was away:

Aries Season: New Moon I had to leave the apartment cause my roommate was being extremely noisy again. I went to a gallery where some witches and artists had their things and a witch I met at Treadwells when I first moved here remembered me and we made friends. She offered me some free sound healing sessions at her place since she wanted to practice. I also met a wild aries witch who is an aries poster child in everyway, she also has short white hair and paints red markings on her face (I thought it was for tonight its an everyday look) and has futuristic tribal blade runner vibes. When I got home at 1pm I exploded on my roommates who wanted to have a party (They knew I had to get up at 5am for work) and declared I was moving out. Did a million find a new home spells and started hunting

Learned how to make bioplastics and bonded with the teacher at the design museum over alchemy. Making bioplastics is so similar to what alchemists were doing in their hunt for stripping down something to it's core elemental material and reshaping it to whatever they like. It also sparked my potential new interest for diving into industrial design as a career.

Went to see my sister in Paris and saw the Notre dame burn. The night air smelled like fire and brimstone

ended Aries season with a bang when my sagittarian witch friend was going through a breakup and bought me to an easter/spring inspired fetish party where everyone was dressed either as catholic gay kings, floral nymphs in pastel bondage or frisky rabbits. They had berlin DJs and the top floor was flooded with red lighting. I ran into the Aries witch there near some ritual of people in pig masks rubbing paper on someone's latex to cause some friction. I got home at 2 and had to get up at 8am for work.

Taurus Season After intense pressure hunting I found a new home though I knew I wouldn't be satisfied there. The woman who owns the house turned out to be pretty christian and doesn't want anyone bought over without her permission. So the house hunt continues.

Beltane was spent with some nice witch friends in the Heaths (of course) we found a nice clearing in the woods that was super secluded with bluebells growing everywhere. We had a blanket and bought everything from floral incense, to crystals (I got a jade crystal ring for everyone to charge and wear) to flowers (we each bought so many that we ended up casting a circle with flowers like roses, bluebells, carnations etc), and foods! I made truffle oil melted cheese sandwhiches and beetroot pea and spinach sandwhiches and sandwhich cookies with rose buttercream and matcha with gold dust and lemon curd lavender with silver dust. I also bought grass vodka to be mixed with elderflower soda. My friends bought a lot of things from blueberries to flower wines to weed to scented oils and candles. I also finished the last of my shrooms with them and the trees felt very much like sentinels though in the sense that they seemed to be watching us in our witchy shenanigans instead of a sense that they were protecting us. We each lead part in a ritual and told stories but I bought black heart candles to purify us from any attachments we had from former relationships to bring clarity or a fresh start. A new witch friend I made who was invited made us do some estatic dancing in the circle (in truth she was cold cause it was cold) but it was a great way to get the energy going and moved our sacral energy upwards when she made us twerk to attract love to ourselves lol. Then my sagittarian witch friend anointed us with oils for clarity and love and we all smelled really nice like nectary flowers. We stayed until it got so dark that the distant city lights were the only thing giving us light. We packed everything up and didn't leave a trace.

Eros moving into virgo amongst other aspects has made my sexual frusterations intense plus that venus mars square was really painful to go through. I got closer to my work crush who seems to like me too but it wouldn't work out as a FWB unless we kept it really secret because of our work position. So I decided to do a lust spell to attract another lover with a lust candle I made back when I lived in NJ. I gathered it when I was taking some stuff back during christmas and realized the love spell candles I made during last valentines day magic fair still had a lot of energy. There was only 1 lust spell candle left cause they all sold (The candles were all heart shaped and the size of your hand. The black was for cleansing relationships and was ylang ylang scented with added charcoal, the violet was for new friendships with lavender, the pink was for romance with rose oil and the red was for lust and hookups with red rose and cinnamon.) The history with the lust spell candle came from a previous successful lust spell when I used a huge red dick shaped hoodoo candle to attract a FWB on the taurus full moon and it was very successful but I still had a lot of the candle left over so I recycled the successful spell into the red wax for the new lust candles. Anyway I was going into this back story because I burned this on the full moon and it burned bright and strong the whole night into the next day for 13 hours straight. When it reached the end no wax was left, it instead grew into a massive flame which split into 3. I was mesmerized watching it, it seemed like the middle flame was me or someone having to make a decision. It went for a smaller flame on the left and they grew into a bigger flame as the little one died down then BANG!! the disk it was on E X P L O D E D and shards of glass flew Everywhere... There were pieces of dried rose petal which was the last fragment of the candle the fire had to burn on that scattered in the air like a mini meteor shower and lit little fires on the carpet of my bedroom floor. As I was cleaning I wasn't sure how to process the meaning. It was supposed to be a road opening spell to attract a FWB my way but the aggression seemed like an intense conclusion. So far I will see how it unfolds. My official Eros Return is the 10th of this month.

While I found a really cool dream apartment by the heaths I wasn't sure if it felt like the right place. I found a magical tree that was like it's own altar or temple in the woods. It had blood red leaves and the light underneath it shown like autumn. Stepping under it's cavernous-like red canopy felt like entering another realm. Underneath the ground was littered with shells from some dead seeds and the trunk of the huge tree had a large open mouth with thick saucer-sized brown mushrooms growing out. It looked like an altar so I prayed to it to help find me a home. A week later I found a nicer apartment on the east side to the park.

Gemini Season

Gemini season started off aggressively and with a lot of confusion.

I went to Amsterdam this past weekend! It's a beautiful city with big fairy energy. They are obsessed with flowers, you can buy bulbs everywhere and flowers are growing from every corner, there is nature everywhere, you can get shrooms and weed everywhere, the homes are old and beautiful with details that remind of you fairytales or iced gingerbread houses, the air is filled with sounds of chimes and bells from everyone's bikes, you have alluring enchantresses ensnaring dumb tourist men into their lairs as men glue themselves to the windows peering eagerly into their other worlds, you have shops with no clocks with the most comfortable seating to sell you joints for 4 euros while you sit there for god knows how long in a perpetual high as you eat snack after snack. Also since its the lighter half of the year the sun sets at 9:30PM and the sky isn't completely dark until 10:15. I tried to look into their urban planning and architecture centers to learn more about the city's design. It's so harmonious with nature its inspiring. I took home some shrooms (One I am excited to try is called Roaring Dragon which would be appropriate for Litha lol), some wizard like long wooden pipes, a mini mermaid tarot deck, a crystal pendulum, some goblin incense I was enticed to buy cause I was dumb high in this fairy themed shop (and in truth I wanted to buy everything cause I was dumb high and thought everything was GREAT) and a love attraction candle.

Now here I am ready to start a new moon cycle. I am really overwhelmed but I want to get my feet back on the ground lol.

#long post #aries to gemini season #personal

[ketzwrites]

Rewatch 112: Malec

Love. That’s it. That’s the comment.

No, of course it isn’t.

Teaser

I’m still surprised by how neatly Jace and Clary’s arrival with the Mortal Cup tied things up, but hey, let’s get right to the wedding, then.

We’re underserved when it comes to Jace and Izzy interactions and this one is as impersonal as they come. I want some follow through on Alec saying Izzy is his sister, not his and Jace’s. I want Izzy talking to Jace about his finding out he is Valentine and Jocelyn’s son. Anything more than this bland “Jace is angry, Izzy is not.”

Act One

Clary seems at peace now that Jocelyn is safe. Not happy, of course, but her tone of voice is calmer, more centered. Good acting on Kat’s part in a season she is mostly known for butchering.

Funny how Alec and Clary were smiling at each other and, you know, having a sort-of-friendship in this season only for the writers to go “nope, Alec is back to completely and only hating her” on the start of the next one.

Now, I don’t get this move on Magnus’ part. In their last conversation, he tried to talk Alec out of sacrificing himself. Alec didn’t listen. Now Magnus is… seducing him out of sacrificing himself? Why is Magnus this invested in Alec? I’m glad he is, but why?

Magnus says he will not ask again, but then there is never a scene in which Magnus asks Alec what his choice is. There is only Magnus being passive-aggressive.

Why doesn’t Clary tell Simon she and Jace are siblings? By what she says in this phone call, it sounds like they had a fight. Good thing Simon knows what’s going on.

Jace and Clary are so awkward. I love it.

Interesting how Magnus protests Ragnor being the list, but not Catarina or Tessa. It’s purely Magnus being an ass to his friend.

Alec and Magnus are so awkward. I love it. Still don’t understand why Magnus would act entitled to Alec’s love like this, but I love it.

Awkward exposition delivery by extraordinarily pretty Izzy. I see you, Ed Decter. Good move.

Alec’s jokes are so underrated. Platinum, Turning over a new leaf, Sisters can really drive you nuts sometimes. All very witty, all deserve more recognition.

When you first watched this scene, could you imagine that Jace was right? Jocelyn really didn’t want her son Jonathan. Well, that Jonathan wasn’t Jace, but the point is: Jocelyn really is the asshole that Jace paints her to be. Valentine didn’t even have to lie about that.

Act Two

I honestly see Jace’s discomfort in discussing his feelings for Clary as being nauseated by the notion that he fancied his sister. Not an “I still love her, so I feel bad”. A “how could I think I was in love with my sister?”

Why is the fire green? Because it’s a wink to Ragnor being green in the books. It has to be because green fire on green grass looks awful.

Subtle changes in your eyes? Subtle? Also, if Jocelyn and Ragnor met in the early 90s while they lived in Idris, that means they met while Jocelyn was a Circle Member. Why is Ragnor on her side??

I love how the characters say “the Book of the White”. Everyone says it like it like it’s one word “debukofdewyt”. I also love the friendship between Magnus and Ragnor.

I wish we’d seen something that warned us Jace, Clary, and Magnus were being followed. It would make Ragnor’s death less sudden and, thus, less ridiculous. A warlock considered more powerful than Magnus shouldn’t die out of the attack of one Shax demon.

Act Three

How does Izzy still think the people in Institute are her family when they sat and watched in silence that farce of a trial almost derune and exile her?

Question: if Lydia is Head of the Institute, wouldn’t they have to run the mission to Ragnor Fell through her anyway? In fact, wouldn’t they need her permission? I’m just saying, anyone with high enough access could’ve learned about this mission from looking at the files. We know the mole was Hodge, but it’s a possibility that Jace, Clary, and Izzy should’ve entertained.

There’s no way Lydia would “slip up” with the way Clary conducted that conversation. It’s almost as if Clary doesn’t think Lydia is guilty and just wants to give her a Shovel Talk on behalf of Alec.

“Alec’s love for his family and his desire to restore the Lightwood name have touched me in ways I haven’t felt in a long time” is so uncomfortable to hear coming from a straight woman about to marry a gay man.

Simon ordering around vamps and borrowing Raphael’s clothes is so confusing to me. Does that mean he and Raphael are friends now? Friendly? Is Simon fitting in? What is this?

Regardless, the first instance of Izzy and Simon being friends.

I still don’t get if Ragnor’s apparition is supposed to be magic or if it’s supposed to be a figment of Magnus’ imagination.

Goddammit. I don’t care about Alec and Jace’s friendship. I have no idea what their relationship was before Clary showed up – or rather, the little that I know comes from Simon saying that Jace treats Alec like a lap dog, Izzy defending Alec from Jace, and Jace saying that Alec would die for him. None of that makes me want Alec and Jace to be friends the way they were before.

Okay. I’m not on board of Alec equating his feelings for Magnus to Jace’s feelings for Clary in this context. They are talking about a normal love between two men equated to romantic love between siblings. Those things are not equivalent and that should’ve been pointed out.

What I am on board with is Alec hijacking the conversation and shifting it from Clary to Magnus and Jace going along with it. This is the first and only conversation Jace and Alec have about Alec’s feelings.

Act Four

I absolutely love this scene with Magnus and Ragnor. The only way to make it better would be to link this conversation about love to Magnus grieving for his lost friend.

Maryse being proud of Alec in these circumstances breaks my heart.

Simon’s little smirk over catching Jace staring makes him look like a douche. Congrats, man. The girl you like isn’t in a relationship anymore because she and her boyfriend found out they are both kids of a psychotic blood supremacist who messed up her boyfriend’s mental health. How fortunate for you.

The Malec Kiss. Enough said. Okay, just one thing. I’m glad Magnus didn’t burst in saying he objected to the wedding. He walks in as if he’s just coming to the ceremony and seems genuinely surprised it has already begun. Then, it’s Alec that takes the opportunity and puts an end to this madness.

Act Five

The order of reactions immediately after Alec’s coming out: Magnus. Maryse and Robert. Izzy. Simon??

I’m not going to lie. I shipped Lydia and Jace the first time I saw this scene. I did.

I adore this shot of Magnus’ hand and the objects burning into existence. And the fact that Magnus’ presence in the Institute continues to miraculously make Alec lose pieces of clothing. First, it was his shirt, now it’s his jacket.

So, nobody questions Clary about the Alternate Dimension? Neither Magnus nor Alec has any reason to have known she went there.

Again, I wish there was more of a build-up to an attack on Lydia. Someone following her. We could even learn it was Hodge here. Maybe he pretends to go check on her and then attacks her? Just something so this doesn’t come out of nowhere like this.

Act Six

When I first read the books, I read “JC” in Portuguese in my mind. “Jota Cê.” That’s very different from “Jay Cee”. I don’t know if I would have caught that Jace = JC had I read it in English. I kind of want it to be mentioned earlier in the show just to be dismissed like “Jonathan Christopher was a very common name at the time” or something like that, but I understand the dramatic value of having Jace make the connection now.

Not to be that person, but Jonathan’s hair is in that box. Izzy is a forensic scientist. She could’ve done a simple DNA test to check if the famously manipulative Valentine was telling the truth.

Just as with Alec and Jace’s friendship, I never saw enough darkness in Jace to believe it when he says it has always been there. Arrogant? Yes. Emotionally constipated? Definitely. Evil? Nope. Not the guy who warned Simon about Izzy’s cooking, that studied the Seelies culture, that risk everything for a girl he was crushing on.

Alec standing up to his parents is a delight. Funny how Maryse was the clear villain while Robert is the more sympathetic parent. Not going to call him all the way supportive, but he at least tried to understand what was going on. Also, the little interactions between Alec and Magnus. sdsa;ksk my heart.

Yes. This exchange between Hodge and Luke. This is what Hodge should’ve done with Lydia. By now, we’d be watching Hodge in action and yelling for Luke not to go. Though, there is no reason for Hodge to invoke Valentine in the middle of the training room. That’s kind of a public place in the Institute. You’d think he would be more careful.

#ketz rewatches shadowhunters #sh 112 #sh meta

[tellywoodtrash]

kasautii zindagii kay 25.09.18 lb

don’t expect these regularly. pehli ep dekh rahi hoon toh kar rahi hoon. first impressions and all. will be watching this show veryyyyy sporadically.

also, i went and watched the first ep of the original before this to revive memories and do an accurate comparison.

lmaoooooo i’d forgotten and kinda missed ekta’s predilection to start every show with SUCHHHHHHH gratuitous shots of bhagwan.

show kolkata mein based hai toh mumbai ka siddhivinayak mandir kyun dikha rahe ho?

but also some durga maa shots and the bengali ululation to reassure us ki haan haan, kolkata mein hi hai.

lol just look at the sizeeeeeeee of that “middle class” house.

watching an ekta show after agessssss and discovering all the little balaji quirks are still intact is a trip and a half.

waah re, exaaact same aarti as the original they’re using. nice.

oh i realllllly appreciate the little captions telling us the name of each character. coz this show has tooo fucking many. and i could never keep track of them in the original.

idhar already attempt to establish anurag as hero. ki dekho dad takkkkk is late to aarti, but bhai apna has already started.

MAN THESE FAMILIES ARE TOO BIG. HOW MANY DAMN KIDS YOU PPL BE HAVING??????????????

oh ho ho shekhar has a cuteeeeeeeee smile.

mohini ji toh abhi bhi 2002 paro waale hangover mein hain.

i really love this actress (shubhavi chouksey) tho. she plays balance of bitchhhhh and weepy bits quite well.

also lol i still remember her “mihirrrrrrrjiiiiiiii” from kyunki.

really relate with her being 1000% done with her husband. excuse me sir, aap bhi late hi aayein hain. you get no moral superiority points.

this chick is still asleep????????

there’s no fucking way you ppl (prerna, and whoever this jogging chick is) can get ready in time before aarti ends. 

oh no. jogger girl does notttttttttttttt look good. waaaaaaaaayyyy too OTT. like not in a fun way like mohini or komolika. in a fire your stylist way.

oh it’s nivedita.

wtfffffffffffff is anupam wearing my god. it’s like one of those silver rescue blankets but in florescent orange. jesus.

anupam still a dgaf cartoon here also. cool. 

tapur’s just rolling innnnnnnnn. also lol at her passive aggressive snark smile.

MY GOD THIS AARTI IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. IT’S CLOCKED IN AT OVER 6 MINUTES ALREADY. MATLAB BHAGWAAN KO AUR BHI KAAM HAI MY DUDES, POORE DIN TUMHARI IS AARTI MEIN HI BAITHE RAHEIN KYA??????

also what kinda fucking upper body strength does anurag have to keep going like this????? need no arm workout for the rest of the week.

um prerna, wearing paayal jhumka and all that is not the priority rn. JUST GET YOUR ASS DOWN THERE SO THIS NEVER-ENDING AARTI CAN FINISHHHHHH.

poooore suit se zyaada kapda iske dupatte mein lagta hai.

yeah these two are just toooooooo bland looking for my taste.

blah blah blah waqt issues.

ok so these guys don’t even have to do any work in writing the show. literallly just taking alllllllllll the dialogues from the original, huh.

anurag is a real stick in the mud, taking the ladoo back from his dad. asshole.

yeah i can already tell shubhavi is gonna act circles around the rest of this cast. multiple times.

this show is just maaaaaaade for the negative characters to shine, over the boring goody-goodies.

ok i’d forgotten how irritating erica’s voice is. she sounds like she’s perpetually phlegmy.

CHEATER PRERNAAAAAAAAAAA. original mein phool apne aap gira tha. chal jhooti. koi khaas dosti nahi hai teri bappa ke saath.

weird how they didn’t bother covering up erica’s cross tattoo. prerna sharma would never have a tattoo.

props to daddy sharma for being progressive papa and not seeing beti as bhoj.

blah blah blah humaari beti kitniiiiii pyaaari hai nonsense.

pft moloy and his dumbassery.

lmao “classes. business management.” who talks like this? who says the name of their degree/major when their mom asks where they’re going?

............ which parent in this day and age would resist their kid going to fucking college????? lol get real. a business family like this would push their kid to get an mba for fucking sure.

ok his voice is just as, if not even more, annoying than erica’s.

i won’t be surprised if mohini spits in moloy’s chai every now and then. he’s kinda asking for it.

bhaaaaaaaaaari cgi on college building. achcha hai, anyway script likhne mein paise ki bachat hui hai, toh ispe hi kharch kardo.

prerna’s friend is a horndog.

lol “JERSEY mein dikhta hai” as if it’s something great. kabhi aarti ke time jao uske ghar pe. tab shirtless hota hai.

ok this is creeeeeepy as fuck how all the girls are peeping into the boys’ locker room. just think how it’d look if it was reversed.

pehchaan waala hai toh why is she looking at him like it’s the first time??? yaa pehli baar “jersey mein” dekha hai?

jeeeeee bhar ke taadne ke baad, bol rahi hai “mujhse nahi hoga” lol, ok.

prerna’s friend has acquired another suitably horndog companion.

oh greatttttttttttttttt, casual homophobic statement. first of many, no doubt.

why is this chick getting SOOOOOOOO hyper about prerna/anurag talking? calm thy tits, madam.

OH GOD THEY’RE EVEN RECREATING THIS NONSENSE SCENE FROM THE ORIGINAL, WHERE THIS RANDOM DUDE PREDICTS THE CONVERSATION. IT’S SOOOOOOOOO DATED AND LAME AS A STORY-TELLING DEVICE. CRINGE!MAXXXX

wow, bothhhhh their annoying voices together is truly mind-numbingly grating.

ALSO MY GOD THIS IS THE MOST BORING CONVERSATION EVER.

prerna has the same oh god kahan phas gaye face that i have rn watching this.

ouff random expository dialogue on aane waala toofaaan.

this random bystander needs to shut up with his commentary and predictions. mostly coz he’s so wrong.

annoying horndog’s name is saloni. and she’s being annoying some more, this time towards prerna.

my god who the fuck is like ‘omg don’t tell me you DIDN’T fuck him’ to a total random stranger, in the very first convo they have with them??????? saloni needs to learn how to interact with ppl in polite society.

prerna like sorry, i don’t like rational men. lol good luck with that. it should reallllllly serve you well in life.

AND NOW SALONI’S LIKE CAN YOU FIND OUT IF ANURAG’S STRAIGHT?????? OMFG THIS CHICK IS REALLY ASKING FOR A JHAPPAD. 

AND PRERNA’S LIKE OK I’LL TRY. JFC.

seems like papa sharma has seen band baaja baarat too many times, ki anushka ki “vyaapaar aur pyaar” waali baat kuch zyaada hi dil pe le li.

15 lakh ka loan for what exactly?

ouff khudddaari dialogue. itniiiiiiii khuddaari hai toh loan bhi mat liya karo?

yeah mohini is srslyyyyyy just taking all her styling inspiration straight from 2002 devdas.

moloy is getting on my last damn nerve. 

the dubbing of this show is really bad. at some points the mouths are just moving completeeeeeeely outta sync with the sound.

i really like prerna’s mom. 

yes yes we got it, sabse bada pandaal yahi hai. you have convinced us.

i don’t get ppl who live in india and have zero patience for random things like roadblocks. like.... this is just how life IS here????? stop being a dick. itni jaldi hai, toh fucking get out and walk the 3 extra steps.

ouff prerna and her manic pixie-ness. i’m so tired of this HAR WAQT PHUDAKTI MACHALTI type heroines, who are unable to keep the ~~~excitement of lifeeeeeeeee~~~~ inside themselves and are constantly squirming.

lol the way mohini’s face instantly changed on having to interact with middle class person.

lmaooooooooo i’ve read a lot about erica and her weird way of saying “auntyji” and i finally get it.

.... why is she interrupting mohini’s conversation with her friends with her random tippani on anurag? unka beta hai, jo chaahe kahe; kissi ne tumse raaiii maangi?

damn, that was cold how she just abruptly walked away tho.

chandrika looks like SHE’s the one who came here in the back of a tempo, instead of prerna, who has not oneeeee hair outta place.

lol prerna’s mom is like hmph my daughter is soooo much better.

some more time waste on establishing just how big pandaal is.

pregnancy ki complications ki wajaah se mummy is STILL babying onuuuu, like 25 years later. waah bhai. jai ho aisi moms ki. inka bas chale toh umbilical cord kaate hi na.

nivideta waali actress’s hair and makeup is really doing nothing for her. esp. the hair. it’s making her forehead look bizarre. like i get she’s supp to be OTT, poonam was too in the original, but it suited her. this here is just not working.

some more casualllllll misogyny from moloy.

foreshadowing regarding prerna being anurag’s own personal toofaan.

mohini cannot stand a middle class girl even being within a 10 ft radius of precious baby boiiii. kahin uske exhalation par middle class waale co2 molecules na pad jaaye mere onuuuuuu pe!

they really need to put a flashing images warning on this show.

lmao tapur’s sheeeeeeer discomfort at being made to do aarti. #relatable

mohini’s not happpppppy ki prerna kahin se ghus aayi hai to do aarti. aadat daal lo AuNTyJiiiiiiiii. ab toh yeh har jagah ghusne waali hai.

ppl pray for peace of mind and this dumbass here is asking for a toofaan in her life. well i hope you’re ready, miss thang. coz this is going to be the last peaceful day of your godforsaken life. good luck.

thank god mohini didn’t see raja beta touching the hand of a mere commoner.

ANJALI IS STILL CAUGHT UP ON THIS BS.

AND OMG PRERNA ARE YOU SRSLY GONNA DO THIS???????

prerna, are you trying to find out if he’s straight, or signal to him ki you’re gay???? coz your opening line on how many cute girls there are here sounds like the latter.

.... i can’t believe she just asked him that. srsly. how the fuckkkkkkk is it any of your business?

god her verbal diarrhea. girl please stop.

yeah i really won’t be able to watch this show because her voice is just.... intolerable.

“haan mujhe ladke pasand hai. i like boys.”

pls. i wish. this would be an infinitely interesting show then. those would be some real kasautiiis. trying to navigate indian society in every way as a non-hetero.

“gooooood choice. baaaad luck.”

lol at least he has a sense of humour.

pffffffffffffffft.

i don’t like these nonsense gay jokes but this kinda felt like a befitting reply to her dumbass intrusive question.

mohini really rude af. but i also kinda admire her attitude of not dealing with ppl she doesn’t want to. i wish i had it.

LE YEH PHIR AA GAYI ISKE PAAS.

at least she’s apologizing.

WHAT IS WITH THESE TWO AND ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER. JFC. SO BORING.

some pretty heavyyyyyyyyyyy handed exposition re: mahishasura.

who dis character tho??????

ouff too much dramatics with the sharaab ki bottal phodna and pandit ki commentary and the chunari over those two. it’s alll TOO MUCH.

lo shahrukh bhi aa gaya gyaan dene.

MY GOD WHY IS HE AGING LIKE THIS JFC IT’S LIKE WITNESSING MY CHILDHOOD DECOMPOSE IN FRONT OF MY VERY EYES.

overall impression

production values and all are amazing, as expected. the two actresses playing the moms are the best. the fathers are that special desi dad brand of benevolently annoying. the leads have zeroooooooooooo personality and appeal for me though. they’re just too bland and boring (like, that ~*SPARK*~ shweta tiwari had???? sorely missing.) too early to tell about chemistry right now, but they both really need to work on their dialogue delivery, because my god, it’s truly the worst (esp. erica’s.) the only draw of this show for me personally is mohini and komolika’s bitchery, and that isn’t a good enough reason for me to watch it regularly and put up with the rest of these characters. like i’ve said before, maybe someone who hasn’t watched the original would enjoy this, but i’m mostly meh. i’ll keep up with updates and like, check in and watch an ep or two occasionally but overall, naaah.

#kasautii zindagii kay 2 #kzk2 lbs #episode liveblogs

[the-detectives-blogger]

I’m really...fucking upset, and I”m honestly not sure where to rant about this, so I’ll just rant about it here, and hope that somebody hears me, someone listens.

So I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups, mainly for the memes and the amusing tagging that goes on. I don’t participate except in a select few - and I mean a really select few, ones where I feel safe contributing at all. Mainly Jewish groups actually, with other Jewish women in them, talking about our lives, worries, politics, tips for making challah bread, prayers for each other. It’s really nice. <3 

The other groups, the meme groups, there’s a lot of bullies in there, I don’t mind having them for tagging purposes but I’ve been doxxed online before and it nearly killed me. I mean that literally, I fell into such a deep dark hole of...uber depression...didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, didn’t move, not for months. It was bad. It was really, really, really fucking bad. And I get triggered easily about it. Less easily now, thank God, baruch Hashem, it’s been a few years, but it’s not the type of thing you ever really forget. When the internet trolls rip out your heart and post it everywhere for all to see, with your face and your full name, calling you a cunt and a weeaboo and - it was bad. 

Anyway.

So I don’t participate in the bullying/memeing groups. But I’m on steroids this week, because I have chronic sciatica pain - the sciatica nerve is the one at the base of your spine, and for people like me for whom it’s pinched, it flares up and the pain is indescribable. A lot of the pain comes from inflammation and OTC meds weren’t cutting it so my very helpful doctor put me on steroids to kill the inflammation. Which is working, yay! But the steroids, being steroids, lol, are definitely also making me more aggressive than usual and more prone to snap, less patient. I’m doing my best with it but it’s steroids, they do what they do in my body, my brain.

All this brings us to last night. I was kind of out of my mind on the nightly steroid dose, browsing Facebook, and I come across a post. The group is a bisexuality-focused group, an identity I..identify with, lol. I have to paraphrase this since I didn’t grab screenshots, but as best I can remember it:

OP: Real talk. Can we talk about how WEIRD it is that some people are only attracted to ONE GENDER?! Like??? Look at Blake Lively. Look at Robert Downey Jr. Are you honestly telling me you wouldn’t fuck them both given the chance???  Poster 1: This is uh - this is kind of homophobic? Aren’t you erasing the identities and experiences of lesbians and gay men? They have to struggle hard to be accepted as well.  OP: Psh NO, are you serious rn?? Are you saying I’m heterophobic which doesn’t exist lmao???  Poster 1: No, I’m saying you’re being homophobic, like, gay men also exist and shouldn’t be forced to be into women if they’re not.  OP: Well if you’re offended, I’m sorry, but you’re choosing to feel that way. That’s on you. If you choose to see that in what I wrote, I can’t help that, if you’re offended. Me: Uh. Look, I don’t know if I want to get involved in the rest of the debate here but saying “I’m sorry if you’re offended” is an abuse tactic. You’re victim blaming Poster 1, saying that it’s on them if you hurt them...it’s not. It’s on you. Don’t victim blame people, that’s super not okay. OP: I didn’t say ‘I’m sorry if you’re offended’ I said ‘If you’re offended, I’m sorry’. Huge difference. Me: There is literally no difference.  OP: There is a massive difference. Admin flying in: Nobody’s victim blaming :[. [OP puts a ‘love’ react on this post because now they feel supported by authority...in their fucking victim blaming and abuse tactics.] OP: I just said people can be bisexual. Admin: Yeah I’m not going to prevent people talking about bisexuality in a bisexuality group. Me: This has nothing to do with the sexualities in question, it’s a question of how we’re talking to one another, treating one another, and of mental illness questions. You were victim blaming OP, and if you’re offended, that’s on you. :) OP: I wasn’t victim blaming tho. Admin: like this is a bisexual group and we’re here to talk about being bisexual  [OP+admin are at this point ‘loving’ each other’s fucking posts ove rand over and over again, supporting each other and growing FUCKING stronger, making me feel more and more alone and backed into a goddamn corner] Me: Okay. Whatever. I fucking give up. I’m not going to fight you, OP. You did a bad thing but if you don’t want to own it, that’s on you. You still have to treat people well regardless of their sexuality. have a good night. The fucking thread proceeded without me. I deleted my comments, super done and not wanting to be doxxed again, thinking, like, this is why I don’t fucking get involved, it never fucking works, standing up for the fucking little guy doesn’t work, standing up for people’s rights not to be FUCKING ABUSED doesn’t work, let alone her extremely clear homophobia, but The Admin Has Spoken so clearly I lose. If Authority is against you it’s hard to fucking win.

I messaged that admin just asked if she could take down the comments where my name is tagged; I deleted the ones I posted but I don’t want my name on this bullshit anymore.

Woke up this morning. Not only have I been booted and blocked from the fucking group, the admin wrote me back to say “I'm fine with editing it out of my comments, I'm not deleting everyones because they tagged you. I will let them know you are requesting and why.”

BITCH

THAT STILL

INVOLVES

MY FUCKING 

NAME

YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING BLOODY MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So not only am I now having a fucking triggered fucking panic attack BECAUSE OF FUCKING YOU, because you don’t care about mental illness or triggers or abuse or PTSD, just about your little meme group, I can’t do anything about it or see it, you’ve made me fucking powerless by banning me from the group YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST Of ALL, YES that girl was being fucking homophboic. Okay??? Saying “omg other sexualities are so weird” isn’t HEPLFUL, it isn’t KIND or COMPASSIONATE or UNDERSTANDING. Straight people and gay people and lesbians really! do! exist! and are only attracted to one gender. Bisexual people also really! do! exist! and are attracted to multiple genders. But nobody gets to say that the other sexualities are fucking ‘weird’ or unacceptable in any way.

SECONDLY, if you don’t keep in fucking mind the way you’re fucking speaking to people while you’re doing leftist shit, fuck you. Intersectionality says that we all exist as multiple identities all at once, we’re not just one thing or the other, o fucking kay? I am not merely bisexula, I’m also an abuse survivor, a PTSD sufferer, depression and anxiety and physical disability. For fuck’s sake. MY SEXUALITY IS NOT THE ONLY ASPECT OF MY IDENTITY THAT MATTERS. YOU COCK. 

And if you’re triggering me it’s the part of my identity that suddenly matters least, because you’re triggering the parts of me that will take over the others, so FUCK YOU, YOU ABSOLUITE WANKER ASSHOLE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKYOUFUCK YOU FUC YOU FYCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

okay. I just...I just needed to fucking vent. Jesus bloody christ.

We cannot exist in leftist circles and spaces without keeping in mind how we speak to people, how we treat people. We cannot call ourselves leftists, liberal, if we trade in compassion for sexual identity. You do not get to check your humanity at the door when you pick up a bisexual pride flag. You do not get to leave your understanding behind. And I will call you on it forever, and ever, and ever, because I do not hold with hypocrites, or abusers, no matter what flag they fly. 

#ooc #rant