#my old blogs you prob know how much of a mess i was and that was only half of it showing online hahahfhshd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fallingsunflower · 3 years

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BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

#this is also good visual proof for how many people are on team PR lol

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angrymongol01-archived · 3 years

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A/N: Am reposting two of my shelved discontinued fem!Hinata fics from my old blog here (for exposure ig? Also I didn't delete them completely there, they're just posted privately lol); for those who've read the original post before and wondering why this blog repost another blog's work, supplies~!! OP here, filling this blog with some Haikyuu content from last October. Enjoy ^^;; ALSO DO NOT SEND HATE ORZ smh

My Masterlist

Prologue | 01 | Omake 01

tho it doesn't looked like an extra chapter at all smh ahaha

Omake 01

wc: 1.9k words

warning: mentions of thigh touching (and probs kidnapping but not implied), a bit of OOC-ness, a few ‘damn’ mentions.

note: indented paragraphs -> flashbacks

*NOTE: since purple/violet is unavailable via PC (using desktop beta lol), I'll use yellow for Ushijima instead.

“…ta…nata…Hinata!”

A female’s voice continued calling her from her deep slumber.

The faint smell of ammonia wafted in the air.

Eyelids slowly opened as she regained consciousness.

“Ah, thank goodness you’re awake now, Hina-chan!”

“Yachi-san?” She groggily glanced at her friend.

“I’ll tell the others she’s awake!” Suddenly, the owner of that voice earlier, Date Tech’s manager, Nametsu Mai, stood up and headed outside the door. Yachi nodded her thanks.

“W-what happened… Where am I? Is this not our—the managers’—room?” she asked.

Hinata started to sit up from where she was laying but wobbled.

Luckily, Yachi and their second-year senpai Kinoshita Hisashi helped her out and gently positioned their fellow member on one corner of the classroom-slash-makeshift sleeping area.

Her senpai sheepishly replied to Hinata, “This is Date Tech’s sleeping quarters. We were having our first practice match of the day, against them, when Sugawara-san called to inform that they’ve found you together with Shiratorizawa, and their captain carried you on—“

The decoy shivered, thinking about the restroom incident hours ago.

“—and fainted on Ushijima’s shoulder. Ma~n, Suga-san’s so furious back then Kageyama had to stop him from killing them.” Kinoshita chuckled.

“Your room’s kinda far away from where they found you, so the managers decided to drop you off here since it’s the nearest one.”

Hinata sweatdropped, a bit embarrassed.

“Ah… thank you, and sorry for whatever inconvenience I have caused earlier…”

Yachi shook her head. “No, no, it’s fine! You’ve done nothing wrong, Hina-chan~,” she grinned at the orange-haired girl.

Smiled back also.

Then she suddenly facepalmed. “I forgot about the practice match! Is it still going yet?”

“It finished an hour ago, we lost—2-1,” a scowling Kageyama answered, trudging towards the three.

“K-k-kageyama…!!!” the female middle blocker blanched with fear, hands gripping the blanket draped on her lap, while the raven-haired setter shot a menacing glare at her, which she averted. “I’m… I’m sorry for—“

“Are you alright?” he quietly asked Hinata, his hand perched on her head.

His deep blue eyes swimming with concern and worry.

She felt a slight flush on her cheeks while meeting his gaze.

“H-hai, I’m fine!” the chibi assured Kageyama. “Nothing to worry about, Bakayama-kun~!”

And she smiled at him.

The boy suddenly became hot and turned to look away from her, hiding his flustered face with the back of his hand.

“H-hinata boke… idiot,” Kageyama stuttered, his heart thumping louder than normal.

Ahh… he sure is whipped for Hinata, that Kageyama boy, Kinoshita thought, shaking his head.

While their blonde manager only giggled.

Recovering from his blushing mess a while ago, the raven-haired setter took a deep breath, narrowed his eyes at Hinata and quipped.

“But I guess you do know that we lost in the match earlier because of your carelessness around your surroundings, right, dumbass?”

He smirked.

This pissed the female decoy and threw in some punches at Kageyama, which he constantly dodged. “Shut up, you!! I said I’m sorry, alright?!”

“No, you did not!”

“Yes, I did, Bakayama!”

There goes their ‘lovers’ quarrel’ again… hahaha…

“Hinata!” Sugawara’s sweet voice boomed inside the room as he entered together with their team’s captain Sawamura Daichi. Beside them tagged along Hinata’s friend from Date Tech, fellow middle blocker Aone Takanobu.

“Ah, Sugawara-san!” The first-year idiot duo stopped their bickering when the gray-haired setter all of a sudden hugged her.

Hc’d Suga and Hinata are chummy-chummy but in a mother/daughter sort of way.

He is, after all, Karasuno’s Sugamama.

“Honey, are you alright now? Did those Shiratorizawa bastards hurt you? Don’t lie to me!” She blinked in reply, baffled.

He might cry in an instant now—

“Oi, Suga, calm down,” Daichi said, drawing circles at the fellow third-year’s back to calm him down.

Aone then stepped closer besides Hinata and sat with his legs crossed, his eyes gazing at hers like Kageyama’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, his deep voice nearly startled both Hinata, Yachi and Kinoshita.

Date Tech’s one-third of the famous Iron Wall is a man of few words, and his replies were mostly grunts, hand gestures, and nods.

So it’s rare for him to speak, or ask a question, especially to a member of the opposite sex—or, in this case, at Karasuno’s Number 10. At Hinata Shouyou.

She held both hands at Aone’s now flustered cheeks, and grinned.

“I’m okay now, Aone-san! Don’t worry too much~ nn?” She tilted her head while looking at him.

C-cute… she’s cute, No-Eyebrows thought to himself. Even the other boys thought so, too.

Then he nodded.

Hinata patted his shoulders. “Good!”

Ahhh the power of friendship, feat. AoHina—

“Say, Hina-chan,” Yachi looked at the orange-haired girl. “Care to say to us why you fainted on Ushijima-san’s shoulder?”

The chibi stilled herself, cheeks starting to get a bit red. Kageyama noticed it.

“A-a-ano!! H-hinata-chan, it’s o-okay if you d-don’t have to tell us! S-sorry for asking such a foolish q-question—“

“Yachi-san, calm yourself down, too—,” the captain sweatdropped.

Looking at the people around her, Hinata slowly opened her mouth to speak.

“My thighs are kind of ticklish when being touched,” she muttered, face in an embarrassed state.

“Ha?” “Ticklish?”

“He—Ushijima-san touched the back of my thighs, but just to keep myself from falling down his shoulder!” the female middle blocker said aloud, pouting. “That’s why I… f-fainted earlier.”

Her partner remembered the face she made while being carried on Ushijima Wakatoshi’s shoulder.

“USHIJIMA-SA—hyaah! …P-please… stop—“

A vein pop ticked on the raven-haired setter’s face, his jawline twitching slightly.

Kageyama’s fists gripped hard, his face a big scowling mess.

Damn that Ushiwaka guy—

Another dark aura emitted on another corner as vein pops ticked on both Dadchi and Sugamama.

Wearing their scary faces.

Both Hinata, Yachi and Kinoshita panicked, while Aone furrowed his brows.

“Did you bring some shovels, Daichi?”

“They’re inside the bus compartment, Suga.”

“Good. We’re digging some graves for some perverted volleyball dorks to bury down later—wanna help us, Kageyama?”

———

Meanwhile, at Shiratorizawa’s side of the training camp, the members were at the sidelines, taking a break from practice when—

“ACHOO!!!” Tendou sniffled for the nth time already ever since coming back to the gym with Ushijima after the incident with Karasuno’s Number 10. “Uh, yizz…”

“Tendou-san, are you really alright?” their team’s first-year ace-in-the-making Goshiki Tsutomu asked, his face scrunched with worry. “You’re sneezing constantly.”

The redhead shook it off with a wave of his hand in reply, and smiled grimly.

“Yeah, I’m a-OK, thanks for your concern, Tsutomu-kun!”

“Oi, are you sick?” Shiratorizawa’s team mom third-year setter Semi Eita stared at his fellow third-year teammate with disgust. “If you are, please stay away from us! We don’t wanna get infected by your cold… Goshiki, don’t go near him!” “Eh? But, senpai—“

Tendou narrowed his eyes on him. “Semi-Semi, if I do have a cold, I will first go straight at ya and share my germs, duh!”

“DON’T CALL ME BY THAT STUPID NICKNAME, YOU IDIOT!” the team mom seethed, throwing a pack of tissues at the middle blocker in reply, hitting his arm.

A quarrel ensued at Shiratorizawa—

“Okay, guys, that’s enough! Save your bickering later at lunch period,” another third-year, Oohira Reon, chided and managed to stop both Tendou and Semi from tearing off their heads.

While the rest of the team just sighed and/or watched at a distance.

“Ano sa…”

Some of them turned their heads at the semi-deep voice of second-year starting setter Shirabu Kenjiro.

Idk how to describe voice ranges ‘cept high-pitch, deep blah blah sorry—

“Tendou-san, you mentioned earlier that you and Ushijima-san met Karasuno’s Number 10, right?”

“Aye~ we have!” the redhead then nudged Ushijima, who was sitting near him, on the side. “Right, Wakatoshi-kun?”

He nodded. “Un. We met Hinata Shouyou early this morning, outside the gym.”

“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You two met that cute sunshine already upon arrival!?!!” Both their libero, Yamagata Hayato, and middle blocker, Kawanishi Taichi, squawked at their captain.

Their faces looked like (‘◉⌓◉’), with Kawanishi gripping the collar of Shirabu’s shirt, shaking wildly.

“T-taichi, stop shaking me, goddammit—!” Whack!

Said second-year middle blocker started to wail in a dramatic way.

“WHYYYYYYYYYYY—!!”

Dunno how to grasp Kawanishi’s personality here tbh so stfu dejk—

“We were about to bring her here back though…” Then Ushijima’s usual stoic face darkened a bit.

“…if only those Karasuno setters didn’t show up.”

“Ah, that Kageyama guy and their vice-captain, isn’t it? Number 2?” Shirabu pointed out. “That guy’s really scary even though he has the face of an angel; their captain also.”

Oohira asked, “Wait… so you two attempted to kidnap the girl?”

“No, no, ‘kidnapping’ will only cause us trouble,” Tendou said, waving his hand in a disapproving way.

“Let’s call it ‘luring her with some sweets then put her inside a potato sack’—“

“ARE YOU A DOWNRIGHT LOLICON!?!!” Semi screamed straight at the Guess Monster’s face, pissed at his earlier statement.

Tendou vs Semi, Round 2–

“I-I heard from Date Tech’s Koganegawa-san that Hinata-chan fainted on you, Ushijima-san,” Goshiki stammered, red tinge on both his cheeks due to embarrassment, maybe? “Is that true?”

Ushiwaka nodded curtly. “Ye—“

“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SHE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!!” Both Yamagata and Kawanishi squawked again, interrupting his response.

Their faces now looked like (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾, with Kawanishi again gripping the collar of Shirabu’s shirt, shaking wildly.

“KAWANISHIIIIII!” An uppercut.

Chaos ensued inside the Shiratorizawa Academy (High School Division) Men’s Volleyball Club.

Their captain declared to himself, his olive-colored eyes shone with determination:

We will take Hinata Shouyou here, in Shiratorizawa. She should have (come here). Whatever the consequences be.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SLACKING OFF, YOU NIMRODS!!! GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO PRACTICE!!!!”

“HAI!!!!”

———

How did the supposed-to-be ‘rumor’ begin? It all started when…

“Aaaarrrggghhh!! This is not right, Ryuu!”

“Huh? What d’you mean ‘not right’, Noya?”

“I want to sit next to our cute kouhai Shouyou on the bus earlier, but it’s always that bastard Kageyama who gets to sit beside her!! Hnnnnnngh—!!! He gets to touch Shouyou’s hair whenever she dozes off, or place her head on his shoulder to sleep on! Or-or maybe even take a candid shot of her sleeping cutely—dammit!!! This is frustrating!!!!!”

“Ahhh~ I know how you feel, bro! I, too, want to sit next to our precious Hinata-chan on the bus! B-but… Noya, what about Kiyoko-san?”

“Ryuu bro, our loyalty is always on our beautiful goddess Kiyoko-san—BUT SHE’S DIFFERENT FROM SHOUYOU! Our kouhai is literally the epitome of a living sunshine~! She cures our blues away! Remember that time during our match with Wakunan, when you were kind of down about Daichi-san’s injury then Shouyou suddenly hugged and peppered you with words of encouragement?”

“Oh, yeah! It calmed my senses down… and also! Remember when you came back from your suspension, and me and Hinata noticed bruises—“

idk I really need to refresh my HQ knowledge by rereading the whole manga orz—

“—on your arms? Ma~n, she freaked out and began applying those with some ointment she had in her bag. And you told me later that time Hinata’s hands were very soft even though she spiked and blocked so many balls in her lifetime? Also that expression on your face! So priceless!”

“Ahhhh~ I wanna touch Shouyou’s soft hands again longer! Not just a high five—but holding hands!”

“Me too~ Damn, I wish there’d be some kind of (rotational?) seating arrangement whenever we’re on the bus, traveling to matches and stuff…”

“Ryuu! Noya! Heya!”

“Tora! Our shitty (city) boy from Tokyo—wassup!”

“We can’t wait to play another game against you guys later! ww”

“Same here!”

“Ah, what are you guys talking about?”

“OUR PRECIOUS KOUHAI HINATA/SHOUYOU!!!”

“Eh? Shrimpy-chan? What about her?”

“It’s like this….—“

The two crows and mohawked cat walked their way inside the camp premises, talking.

Unbeknownst to them, two eagles accidentally eavesdropped on the earlier conversation.

DO NOT REPOST/EDIT WITHOUT PERMISSION. PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME, KIDS. LIKES ESPECIALLY REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. ALL WORKS © angrymongol01 - 2021.

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wellthatwasaletdown · 2 years

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Larrie posts would get 10s of thousands of likes. It was like a huge wave that carried you along.//// I was there. And honestly, I still go through some Larry theories once In a while. Just for fun. I recently read one of the scarlet letter and how both HL signaled their lives pertaining to the themes of the book- and it’s prob just a coincidence and the person who wrote it is obvs delulu but damn was it Interesting. Especially as a literature geek, that was a fun post to read. Very engaging. Bulletproof larrys blog is a hilarious place. And I am absolutely not a Larrie bc I just don’t have the time and energy to read into this now unlikely theory anymore. Not when all logic points to it being false all along. And not when the cult leaders are doll lady and Gina the fan fic lady. Both misogynistic assholes who are solo harries in disguise.

But the 1d fandom has been such a core part of my life that I simply cannot let it go. And why would I if I love being here? My happiest memories are 1D concerts and tumblr discussions and jokes and all types of ppl who ship different things and have different lanes and opinions coming together to just have fun. Like the day Eleanor and Lou broke up most of us were genuinely there for each other, just making jokes and talking abt how we miss and love her(bc god was 2015 a mess and what came after was all the crazy theories and confusing times). Only the toxic larries like I doll lady and lassurex(I think?) were being assholes that day and onward. The tumblr community on here was, by in large, a wonderful (dare I say safe for my introverted ass w only online friends at the time) place. And this fandom was SO SO SO huge that we usually squashed the rude peeps under a boot and went back to making jokes.

I do have plenty of friends who are still Larry shippers/larries, engage in the fandom, etc. It isn’t that deep for me or them- we’re just doing our thing. And they’re Def not toxic or crazy like the cult leaders. They’re just spectating and agreeing w certain things. I can’t relate- but I don’t like argue w them. I’m still streaming their music till this day( u can’t tell me what a feeling isn’t a BOP like it’s a B O P). (And strong has no right making me feel things in 2021). I still play the last 3 albums a couple times a month.I still watch some old videos and interviews where their youthful and vibrant personalities shine through… especially the ones from the midnight memories era bc that was the best era. I still read Larry fics(💀) bc it’s just fun. One of the best things I’ve ever read is that young & beautiful fan fiction. Truly a skilled writer. And yes in a fictional world I do ship it idc if all the other anons will have my head for it. The chemistry was v much there during those years, U won’t convince me otherwise. U can’t make me Unsee what I still see when I watch those interviews and vids. I do see the nature of their relationship during those years as suspicious and very intense and idgaf if I’m just crazy for it cus I’m not actively pushing it and pretending I know the facts. And fuck is it fun to do these things in my free time. And that’s the purpose of fandom. To have fun. None of this is that deep. And this was a fandom for those of us born in the 90s/early 2000s. Our middle school or high school or college years WERE these 5 kids. Some maintained their authenticity. Some fell off. Some- Idk. Some’s solo stuff I enjoy, some I don’t. Some I think are secretly assholes cough mr homewrecker, the rest I think are good at their core(Exept Liam I’m eh on him but I wish him the very best.) I don’t Stan them per se anymore(though I’m still emotionally attached to 1/2 of the Larry ship cough it’s not the one we hate on), but they’ll always mean a lot to me. And when any of them drop an album I will listen. Even when hs3 drops I’ll be a masochist and listen to him whine about cockburn. That’s just what it means to be a directioner. And yk what the Larry ship was so much fun for us fans but it caused sm harm to these real ppl- I wish ppl would’ve accepted it’s just a fantasy of two men who just have this intense chemistry, and likely a deep bond(that WASNT A ROMANCE.) I wish ppl would’ve accepted it when they denied it, even if their behavior was, like I said, intense and suspicious, it’s not the fandoms business. These boys were overworked asf I’m sure they didn’t appreciate us bugging them 24/7 abt it. And clearly, larries were wrong abt their perception of this bond. And if Larry ever were something *more* it’s sure as hell over now. Mr Donny chav and mr homewrecker probably never want a teenager daughter who’s allowed on the internet bc us teenage girls basically ruined a lot for them. And yk what? I feel guilt for the very minimal part I played in it. Even if it was never too serious for me- I should’ve called out some Tin hat behavior some mutuals displayed.

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mego42 · 4 years

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I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much).

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged. Or for some kind of cover story if it is. She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him. He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass.

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel? Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little. But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot.

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

#brio fic #brio fanfiction #good girls fanfiction #fic recs #anon #asks #gg disk horse #i feel like i had jokes i wanted to make in the tags but now that im here i've totally forgotten them #ANYWAY the important takeaway here is #tell me what you like and why i want to know okay #send me recs #ME ME ME #hahahahaha jk #sort of

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neversatisfiedswitch · 4 years

Text

Obey Me! Tickle Headcanons

I’m so obsessed with Obey Me! rn, and considering that’s where my brain is, I wrote some headcanons for all the brothers, starting with the oldest and ending with the youngest.

Pls help, I’m blushing now from writing these, especially the teases. Why must these boys destroy me like this. ;0;

Also I almost posted this on my normal RP blog and I had a mini heart attack fkdsjkfl--

Lucifer

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: 110% Ler. He will wreck anyone who attempts to tickle him... except the main character, but only when he’s feeling generous.

As a ler:

This one could go under the lee category BUT I feel it’s necessary to put it at the top: You cannot and should not attempt to tickle him. He will W R E C K you

He probably finds out you’re ticklish while you’re not paying attention in class or something and he pokes you, and you jump, and he just smiles sweetly at you while his eyes say that you’re screwed and he just says gently “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He’s the second-most powerful demon in the Devildom (second only to Diavolo) and he’ll absolutely use his strength to his advantage. He doesn’t even have to TRY to be able to pin you down, he can do it without any effort

Is the master of gentle, agonizing tickles, but being the oldest of his brothers he can definitely be rougher if he needs to, especially if the gentler touches don’t break you

Knows where and how to dig in with his fingers, and since he always wears silk gloves his fingers tickle even more on bare skin— but if you’re close enough with him he might nuzzle your neck or ear too, maybe even nibble if you’re comfortable with it

I imagine since he doesn’t really know how to be affectionate that he won’t tease you in a normal way, mostly just makes observations and noises like he’s studying you. And tells you that you should be regretting messing with him, which you probably will

“Hmm...” “This seems like a particularly ticklish spot.” “Sensitive there?” “What’s that? You’re sorry? Good. You should be.” “Begging so soon? But we’ve only just begun.”

His expression doesn’t even change either, just the same old concentrated look he gives assignments or problems while he’s tickling you to death

And if you irk him to the point that he goes into his demon form, YOU ARE D E A D because you better believe he’ll use all 4 of his wings to torment you along with his hands, and then you’ll be screwed

Depending on what caused him to tickle you, he may sit with you and hold you to be sure he didn’t accidentally kill you via tickles, or he might just tell you to think more about your actions next time and just walk away

Also just as another note: it is nigh-impossible to startle him. So if you go after him, 99.9% of the time you’re going to be the one laughing and dying, unless you get lucky

As a lee:

As previously stated, Lucifer is EXTREMELY difficult to sneak up on. No one has taken his picture while he’s asleep, and only one person has even seen him shirtless— he’s nigh-impossible to catch off-guard

So if you do, or if he decides to let you tickle him, you’ll have to distract him from holding his laughter back. He can really hold it in for a long time before he breaks

On the home screen he’ll sometimes say “Are you trying to tickle me? You’ll have to do a better job than that.” or the phrase in the picture above. This is what he’ll say if you try without warning. Every. Time.

He’s honestly not very ticklish, probably like a 5/10 on the sensitivity scale

Because no one ever sees him without his clothes, I feel like his torso is the most sensitive area. Mostly his ribs, sides, and back, though his waist is a good spot too

Once you get your fingers on him and he’s either too tired or too distracted to not hold his laughter back, he’s doomed— he can’t even beg for mercy (and won’t bc his pride won’t let him) bc he’s laughing so much

He’ll basically crumple to the floor and be a giggling laughing mess, but you have to follow him down or else he’ll turn on you

If you really want to drive him crazy, spider your fingers over his back. He’ll laugh so hard that his face will turn red immediately, and he’ll just... collapse onto the floor, completely helpless

His genuine laughter is soft and melodic, almost angelic— considering he’s a fallen angel, and considered the most beautiful in all of creation, it makes sense that it would be. It’s softer and lighter than his speaking voice and can certainly be contagious if he’s laughing hard enough

Don’t take pictures of his blush or take any videos of you tickling him. He will immediately gain his strength back and wreck you until you delete them, and probably wreck you further for good measure

As long as you don’t tease him too much, he’ll probably let you go and smile genuinely at you as you leave— but don’t tell anyone bc he WILL find out, and he WILL destroy you

Alternately, if you decide to stay with him, he’ll probably get you back immediately, though it won’t be as bad as if you didn’t manage to catch him off-guard

Mammon

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Thinks he’s more of a Ler, but in reality he’s 80% Lee and 20% Ler. He’s too ticklish to really get anyone besides you.

As a ler:

He doesn’t ever need a reason to tickle you, he just wants to— maybe he wants a little money, maybe he needs a pencil, or maybe he’s just having a bad day, but he’ll tickle you bc he feels like it

You can also goad him into doing it pretty easily, he’s a hothead (but not a violent one) AND he’s perceptive so if he knows you’re trying to make him tickle you he’ll just do it

Finds out bc as the first demon you make a pact with, he probs sleeps in your room a lot (or you sleep in his room bc he asks you to), so he pokes you to make you wake up one morning and he recognizes that the noise you just made was a squeak, and by that point it’s all over for you

Despite how much more powerful he is than you, he likes to roughhouse— he’ll tackle you (gently and on carpet/a bed/a couch etc) and roll around with you before he pins you, but he’ll always be the one pinning you if he’s decided to tickle you

He’s a master at tickling— whatever gets you hysterical is whatever he does, whether it’s spidering, digging in, light touches, raspberries, biting, or using tools, he’ll drive you crazy

His favorite is definitely nibbling though— he’s a dork who loves being close to you even if you don’t romance him, so you can guarantee he’ll be nibbling somewhere, probably your neck or tummy

Also: TEASY A F BOIII— he will tease you so damn much the entire time and laugh along with you, and probably try to make you praise him

“Why’re you laughin’, eh? Somethin’ funny?” “Tickle tickle tickle, ya little nerd!” “What? You want me t’stop? Hmm, maybe if ya paid me... with giggles.” “You laughin’ at me, punk?! Guess I’ll have t’punish ya.” “Say ‘Mammon’s the greatest’! C’mooon, you can do it!”

He’s always grinning and making faces while he’s tickling you, because he’s a dork like that

His wings in his demon form are bony and batlike, but that won’t stop him from dragging the tips across your skin in an attempt to drive you up the wall

He’ll flop down next to you when he stops tickling you, probably still poking you and teasing you for a bit, but making sure he didn’t go overboard— and he’s always up for cuddles, so unless you ask him to leave he’ll cuddle you afterwards

As a lee:

It’s easy to tickle Mammon, you just poke him anywhere and he’s giggling

On the sensitivity scale he’s the most ticklish out of his brothers, a definite 12/10– he’s just that sensitive

You’re the only person he’ll give in to when it comes to tickles— he’ll give them and receive them from you without any fuss, but with anyone else he’s grouchy about it

If you’ve seen his demon form, and noticed the fact that the top part of his outfit doesn’t cover his torso, and you think he’s not ticklish there? Think again, his tummy, belly button, and hips are his worst spots

If you tell him he should cover up his torso if he doesn’t want anyone to tickle it he’ll just sputter in embarrassment

Once you’re tickling him, even lightly, he can’t take it— he’ll just drop to the floor shrieking and begging you to stop (but don’t bc he kind of likes the attention, though he won’t admit it)

If you get your finger in his belly button his laughter will go completely silent, and squeezing his hips will make him squeal

He cannot take what he dishes out— teasing makes him a blushing, sputtering mess, and all of his own tactics work against him, including (and ESPECIALLY) nibbling

His laughter is adorable and completely contagious, and higher-pitched than his speaking voice— he also snorts when he laughs, and if he realizes he snorted he gets flustered

If you take a picture of him he’ll threaten you to make you delete it, but he doesn’t really mind as long as you don’t show anyone else

Just like when he tickles you, he wants cuddles afterwards— and he might use that as an excuse to get you back when he’s not out of breath, but he’ll also just take cuddles either way

Leviathan

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Totally a Lee, but if you challenge him on anything he’ll tickle the hell out of you. So like 90% Lee and 10% Ler.

As a ler:

He’ll only tickle you if you ask him to, if you did something to irritate him, or if you’re making him jealous because of something you have that he wants (or if you know more about something than he does)

He’s an otaku, so he’s probably already delved into the world of tickling bc of the tickle scenes you see in media, and he’s probably watched Mammon wreck you a few times so he guessed pretty quickly that you’re ticklish without being so hands-on himself

Not as powerful as Mammon or Lucifer, but still a demon nonetheless— and even tho he’s a shut-in and doesn’t get out much he’s still pretty good at pinning people down, though he might see the position you’re in and think it’s a little suggestive, maybe even blush bc he’s easily embarrassed

He approaches tickling like he approaches his games— dives right in, testing everything out, then goes full-on with whatever works the best, babbling excitedly all the while until you’re a screeching mess of laughter

He mostly just teases you by saying he’s better than you, but he doesn’t really mean it... also he makes video game/media/nerdy references a lot

“You can’t defeat the mighty Levi! Muahahaha!” “Playing games is fun, but it’s more fun to wreck you.~” “This is just like that scene I watched in this anime called—“ “You’re a lot squishier than my keyboard, but at least my fingers don’t hurt now!” “Get wrecked, nerd! Lololol”

He’s basically treating this like a game— that’s what tickling is to him anyway— and while he’ll definitely stop if you’re desperate enough, he’ll always ask if you give up before he quits, and then gloat that he won

And if he gets you in his demon form, there’s no escape— he’ll wrap you up in his tail and get you even worse, now that he has more room to work with

Usually offers you a snack or something when he stops tickling you, maybe suggests you lay on his bed and watch him game, or even lets you beat him in an easy game so you feel better— but he won’t admit he’s being soft toward you

As a lee:

He has a few tickle spots, but he only lets his guard down when he’s at home in his room— and once you get him started laughing, it’s hard for him to stop

He’s a solid 9/10, surpassed only by Mammon, and he’s different from the others in that he very much likes tickling— it just makes him blush a lot

He’s a sensitive baby, his sides, waist, thighs, and armpits are all very sensitive, but his death spot is his tummy

Doesn’t beg for you to stop, but will deny that he enjoys it or that he’s even laughing— the fact that he doesn’t fight back doesn’t help him any... it’s clear he enjoys it bc when you rub his character model during certain interactions in the game, he giggles, and it gives the most amount of intimacy and a large amount of hearts (as seen in the image above)

If you use the “claw” tactic on his tummy he goes ballistic, shrieking like he’s dying, and his face will turn bright red while he tries to cover his cheeks with his hands

He hates being teased, and will always tell you to shut up, and that you’re lying, but if you’re silent he begs you to say something

He has an adorable, sweet little laugh, and his giggles are angelic— it makes anyone feel better to tickle him, but he hates his laugh and will threaten you if you compliment it

He’ll blush himself to death if you try and take a picture of him, he’d really rather you didn’t but as long as you keep it to yourself he’ll let you keep it on your phone

Gets clingy after tickles and will crawl over to put his head in your lap and ask you to pet his hair, then asks if you’d want to watch something or read a manga together

Satan

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Ler, full stop. Thinks of tickling as bonding and likes doing it more than having it done to him.

As a ler:

As seen when he and his brothers attempt to get Belphegor to crack a smile, he’s very sneaky and knows how to creep up behind someone to grab them

He’s very mischievous when it comes to tickling, he’s the Avatar of Wrath so making someone smile rather than making them mad is new to him and he enjoys it more than anything else

Probably found out bc you offered to help him fix his books, and so you were on a ladder reaching up and your shirt pulled up and he poked at your exposed side, nearly making you drop the book on his head, to which he only said “Oops.” and gave you a grin that said you were done for

Relies on the element of surprise to pin you rather than just strength, though as someone born of Lucifer he’s not weak at all and he can really hold you down if he needs to

He’s slow and methodical, testing out every spot to see what gets you laughing the most, then starts from your least ticklish spot and works his way up to the most ticklish

Being a book lover he has to write occasionally too, so he has all kinds of writing utensils around that he uses to tickle you with— quills, pens, pencils, calligraphy brushes, etc

Mostly just laughs along with you, but if he’s using something to write on you with he’ll tell you to be still and tease you about messing up his writing, though mostly he just teases about your sensitivity— and he may even use you as a book holder, tickling you and scolding you if you move the book too much

“Stop squirming, you’ll mess up the ink.” “This is illegible... Oh, well, looks like I’ll have to start over.” “Your laugh is adorable, you should do it more often.” “Oh, was that a bad spot? I’ll have to file that away for later use.” “Your laughter is distracting me from my book. Tone it down or I’ll really give you something to laugh about.”

He’ll smile fondly while he’s tickling you— he can’t help it, seeing that he makes someone else happy and laugh is so refreshing for him

Two bad things about his demon form: first, his tail is long enough to snake around you and the scaly feeling of it would drive anyone up the wall, and second, he wears a feather boa that he most definitely would use to wreck someone with, or even tie their wrists or ankles together

Will help you sit up, rub your back and run his hand through your hair once he’s stopped tickling you, and will let you lean against him while he reads to you so you can calm down

As a lee:

Satan has to be in the right mood to laugh— trying to tickle him when he’s mad will upset him, but if he’s in a good mood he’ll let you do it

He’s about a 6/10 on the sensitivity scale, since he’s not deathly ticklish it’s more of a bonding experience for him than anything else

His neck, ears, and armpits are his worst spots, which is ironic considering the feather boa he wears has to be sitting a certain way so he won’t tickle himself accidentally

Will squirm minimally, doesn’t want to knock you off and hurt you, and enjoys the contact though he wishes it wasn’t tickling that you chose as your method to get close to him

If you get your fingers in his armpits he’ll cackle himself silly, and brushing feathers against his neck will make him blush so badly that it spreads across his body

Covers his face as much as possible when he’s being teased, scrunches up his shoulders and giggles out half-hearted pleas for you to stop, and sometimes threats that you can’t take seriously due to his laughter

His laugh is deep and soothing, even when he’s hysterical, and it can instantly relieve the stress of whoever’s tickling him

He’ll allow you to take a picture of him blushing, but only if you don’t tell anyone why, and you let him compose himself a little first

Will lean against you like a cat, reading to calm himself down, and tell you exactly when he’s going to get you next— sometimes it’ll be right after you’ve finished tickling the hell out of him

Asmodeus

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Ler all the way, except for you— because you tickling him means you’ll touch him.

As a ler:

Despite loving to touch you and being the Avatar of Lust, he’s respectful of boundaries, and won’t tickle you the first time until you ask him to or let him know it’s okay

After that it’s clear he loves making you laugh, though he’ll only do it when he knows you need it as opposed to pouncing on you out of nowhere

Found out bc during a cuddle session he stuck his hand slightly up your shirt and you started twitching, and he immediately thought you were uncomfortable— but then he saw the little upturn of your lips and figured it out immediately

Also knows tickling could turn into more, but when he knows you just want it to be fun he refrains from being too terribly suggestive

He’s small and quiet so he can totally sneak up on anyone and jump on their back, or pounce on them when they least expect it, but will always warn you before he does that so you’re not startled

Depending on what mood you’re in he’s either gentle and sweet or rough and merciless, though he can’t resist digging into your worst spots when he finds them

His teases are compliments— he wants you to feel good about yourself, to admit your best qualities, and he takes the opportunity to tickle the positivity out of you

“I’ll stop tickling if you say you’re cute.” “Come on now, say something you’re good at, or I can stay at this spot allll day.” “Stop bringing yourself down or I’ll go for your worst spot.” “You have ten seconds to say you’re beautiful or I’ll tickle you for ten minutes.” “You’re practically glowing today— did you do something different? Don’t lie to me, I’ll knoooow!~”

He’ll giggle and smile brightly while he’s tickling you, and often he’ll hum and make up his own little songs to sing to tease you

He can’t really get you with his wings in his demon form bc they’re too short, but that form does make him a lot more cuddly so he’ll tickle-cuddle the hell out of you if he catches you in that form

Will pull you into his lap and rub your back, ask if you’re okay, and hum softly to calm you down— maybe even give you a massage if you need it

As a lee:

Considering how much Asmo likes it when you touch him, he’s basically down for you to tickle him anytime

He’s about a 4/10 on the sensitivity scale— the least ticklish out of his brothers, but he does have a tickle spot

His palms and knees— front and back— are sensitive, but not enough to make him really laugh, his one bad tickle spot is his feet and they’re sensitive enough to make up for his lack of sensitivity everywhere else

Still tries to seem dainty despite the fact that he’s falling apart while you’re tickling him— he might kick a little and shove at you, but he’s honestly just happy you’re touching him

Going after his toes makes him shriek, and he may start begging for mercy if you go after them too long, though unless he’s crying from laughter he won’t actually want you to stop

He can handle teases better than anyone else, mostly because he’s honestly self-absorbed and anything you say to him comes out as a compliment— so teasing does nothing to him

His laugh is sweet, soft, and rather delicate, like him, and his giggles are extremely contagious— he says he likes his laugh quite a lot

If you want to take a picture, he has to be sure his hair is perfect first— but even if he’s blushing, he never minds when pictures are taken of him, and even if you tell others you were tickling him, he won’t mind

He has to freshen himself up after being tickled, but once he’s done that, he curls up against your side and tells you he loves laughing with you, then goes back to cuddling with you like he was before

Beelzebub

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Equal switch— he loves tickling, and usually enjoys being tickled, depending on who’s doing it.

As a ler:

Won’t hesitate to just throw you over his shoulder, carry you off to either of your rooms, and absolutely destroy you— if it seems like you need it, or you goad him into doing it

Third only to food and being around Belphegor, your laugh is what brightens his day the most— he likes being able to unwind after a lot of stress by tickling you and letting his worries drift away with your laughter

He found out when you were trying to get some cookies off of a high shelf, because Beel was too weak from hunger to stand on the chair, but when you lost your balance and almost fell, he caught you with one hand on your hip and the other under your arm, and when you spasmed he immediately knew why

He doesn’t sneak up on anyone— if you’re going to be tickled, you’re going to be tickled. You’ll hear him coming and get a chance to hide, but you probably won’t be able to because he’ll find you eventually

Despite his size, he’s gentle when tickling you, at least with his hands— though he enjoys acting like he’ll eat you, due to how many funny noises you make, so he uses his mouth and teeth to tickle more often than not

His teasing is mostly food-related, as are most things with Beel, and he always says he’ll eat you, though it’s clear he’d never dream of actually doing it... he also uses the standard “tickle” tease, drawing it out to fluster you more

“Your ribs look rather tasty... I’m going to nibble them.” “What fruit is that named after again? Raspberries? Fitting, you match one right about now.” “Nom, nom, nom... your belly is tastier than a cheeseburger by far.” “Tickle tickle tickle... what, is that funny?” “If you buy me food, I’ll let you go... nah, never mind, I won’t.”

He’ll chuckle and make funny little faces while he tickles you, and try to make eye contact as much as possible to really make you blush

His wings aren’t that useful in his demon form, but the fact that his teeth sharpen is— he’ll be even more gentle when nibbling you, but you can bet it’ll tickle ten times worse to have demon teeth scraping across your skin

Will pull you into his arms and offer you some food, then rest his chin on top of your head and hug you to calm you down, smiling like a goof the entire time

As a lee:

Generally, the hungrier he is, the less strength he has to fight back— but it’s best to catch him when he’s not so hungry that he might go on a rampage if he doesn’t eat, so there won’t be any danger toward you, but not after he’s just eaten, which makes him less sensitive

A 7/10 on the sensitivity scale, he has quite a few tickle spots and genuinely loves laughing and smiling, especially if it’s with you or Belphie

His tummy and navel are very sensitive, and so are his thighs and the backs of his knees

Knows he could easily hurt you if he struggles too much, so he tries his best not to, holding onto something like pillows or blankets to keep himself from shoving you away, and always tossing his head back and forth to hide his blush and his smile

If you trace a finger down his abs to his belly button and wiggle your finger inside, he’ll wheeze and usually grab a pillow to bring up to cover his face— you’ll know when he wants you to stop, he’ll tap out by weakly smacking your leg with his hand

If you turn the teasing back on him, he becomes more responsive to the tickling, trying to curl in on himself and laughing harder than if you were to just tickle him— the harder he blushes, the more he can’t take the teasing

His laugh is very deep and rumbly like thunder, seeming to shake the whole house the harder it gets— he hates his laughter, but he knows how much you and Belphie like hearing it, so he doesn’t mind that much

He’ll always hide his face if you attempt to take a picture of him while he’s blushy and giggly, but if you manage to get one he’ll just ask you not to share it

He’ll sit up and rest his chin on your shoulder, then ask if you can go get him a snack— tickling tires him out— then he’ll wrap his arms around you and munch on whatever you brought him, content to calm down in your presence

Belphegor

Lee, Ler, or Switch?: Like Beel, equal switch— he doesn’t mind being tickled, and he enjoys doing the tickling just as much.

As a ler:

Usually feigns sleep to get people to drop their guard, then pounces on them when they least expect him to— he’s the Avatar of Sloth, he’s the best at acting like he’s asleep

Like his brother, he sees your laughter as his third thing that makes him happy, with the first two being Beel and naps, and so he always wants to hear your laugh every chance he gets— it also makes him sleepy because he says your laugh is soothing

He found out after he invited you to nap with him one day— you were trying to get comfortable and shifted a little too much, and Belphie prodded his finger into your side and told you to stay still, making you squeak... thankfully he was too tired to act then, but it was already too late

Almost like a cat, he likes to hide behind furniture, under blankets and beds, or even above doorways, and pounce when it’s least expected— and if he’s well-rested, he’ll chase you down if you run from him

Loves building anticipation and being slow and gentle with his tickles, only to dig in unexpectedly— he also likes to nuzzle a lot, mostly because he knows his hair tickles and being that close would make /anyone/ blush

Sings little lullabies and replaces words with “tickle” in order to tease you, but also points out your sensitivity and how much you’re blushing, and asks how tired you are

"Your face is so red right now. It’s so cute.” “Are you getting tired yet? I don’t think you are, you’re still laughing a lot.” “C’mon, this can’t tickle /that/ bad.” “You’re making me sleepy, laughing this much.” “If you’re not sleepy yet, then I don’t know what to tell you. Guess I’ll just have to keep going until you’re out cold.”

His tail in his demon form is a very useful tickle tool, he can swish it anywhere he wants and drive you up the wall with how soft the hair on the tip is

He’ll curl up next to you and pull you close to him, nestling your head under his chin and letting his breathing calm you down— and he’ll probably go to sleep, he can tire himself out no problem

As a lee:

Waking him up from a dead sleep is the best way to catch him off-guard, and ensures he won’t be able to get revenge as quickly as if he were already awake

Only slightly above his twin on the sensitivity scale, he’s an 8/10 as he’s a little more ticklish than Beel— but if you were to ask him, he’d say Beel is more ticklish

Shares his brother’s death spots, aka his tummy and belly button, but his hips, knees, and toes are other bad spots

Is very squirmy, considering he’s the smallest he knows he can’t hurt you if he squirms a little— but if you keep his favorite pillow near him, he’ll smack you with it if the tickles are too much to handle

Even looking at his tummy wrong makes him giggle, and the best tactic is to tickle his tummy and belly button at the same time, rapidly vibrating your fingers— he’ll lose it and screech with laughter, and flail helplessly

He hates being teased, and will attempt to swat at you every time you do it, despite being weak when he’s tickled and not being able to fight back like he normally would

His laugh is the sweetest of all of his brothers, light, gentle, and delicate, and his giggles are adorable— he hates when people tell him his laugh is cute, though, so that’s another way to fluster him

He’ll smack you with his pillow and run away before you ever catch him smiling on-camera— he hates getting pictures taken, they make him feel shy and he doesn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable

Like when he tickles you, he’ll curl up next to you and yawn, and tell you he’s sleepy, then fall asleep soon after— and he’ll definitely cuddle you, mostly to be sure you can’t get away when he wakes up and wants revenge

#pls help i am dying from this #these boys r too cute #btw the second pic of levi is different bc he doesn't have a cute home screen interaction like the others #but at least he still cute #my fave is Mammon btw #I adore him

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haknew · 3 years

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get to know me tag !

tagged by @woosohn (ty again june ! <3)

what day is your birthday?

one day i’m sure

what’s your favorite color?

not to be that person,,, but rose quartz, serenity, and lilac ! [official answer]

what’s your lucky number?

idk... tea bee hache

do you have any pets?

do house plants count ? ;//

how tall are you?

5′ 4 (i always forget this in cm sorry)

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

currently ... ? like 3 ???

favorite song?

oh i never have just one and it’s really about my mood :0 been playing thrill-ing a lot and other current releases so probably those at this moment in time

favorite movie?

can’t seem to pull up anything up from the dredges of my repressed memories of the time i used to watch movies but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... idk

what would be your ideal partner?

i did this on my other blog so i’ll try to give a real answer this time to this question ... mm i need someone with a lot of empathy and patience ! i’m definitely not the easiest person to deal with ever and i really hate being confrontational,,, so when there’s a problem, they have to be willing to talk through things with me and approach me first ;;;; think it’d be nice if they were strong in the points where i’m weaker ^^ to balance i suppose ... but who knows what’ll happen, funky question lol

do you want children?

lmao no

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nooooo i’m boring that way <33

bath or shower?

shower !

what color socks are you wearing?

it’s summer so no sock season ~ but normally solid colors; gray, white, black ^^

favorite type of music?

i like a bunch of stuff but i’m a pop song person at heart :]] sometimes some r&b

how many pillows do you sleep with?

always at least two ! but rn at home i have 6 pillows haha

what position do you sleep in?

on my sides usually ;0 hugging a pillow sometimes

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

if it’s too hot, i can’t sleep ;;;; or when it’s too loud or too early in the morning to be woken up looool

what do you have for breakfast?

i’m never awake early enough for breakfast but during my 8ams i used to make a cup of instant coffee if that counts haha :]]

have you ever tried archery?

at science camp yeeeees ~

favorite fruit?

strawberries ! and watermelon ~~ mangoes too :p

favorite swear word?

i don’t really swear all that much so don’t really use any

do you have any scars?

i suppose, won’t elaborate tho

are you a good liar?

i’ve been told no i’m not but then again i lie often so

what’s your personality type?

choi soobin (he’s an isfp OKAY ?!?!)

what’s your favorite type of girl?

all of them of course u.u

innie or outie?

innie !

left or right-handed?

right-handed ^^

favorite food?

i really like pasta ! but there’s a canto tea cafe specialty rice dish that’s basically fried rice with tomato + beef that’s my all-time fav ^^

favorite foreign food?

hmm most everything i have is ‘foreign’ food ? that’s just my cultural cuisine stuff tho so maybe other eastern asian dishes too :0

are you clean or messy?

really depends on my mood ;;;; i like stuff to be clean ! but that’s easier said than done sometimes haha

most used phrase?

i use a lot of internet language so your typical acronyms ‘lol’, ‘lmao’, ‘like’, and then stuff like ‘so true’ etc. haha ahhh and of course ‘jfkdhgdkjfhgsk’

how long does it take for you to get ready?

this also depends on my mood, at speediest maybe 5 mins ! at longest maybe an hour ~ but only bc i’m staring at my phone or smth instead of actually getting ready

do you talk to yourself?

hhh yes and that’s bc it’s sometimes easier for me to vocalize thoughts than let them swirl in a confusing mess in my head, hard to sort through sometimes

do you sing to yourself?

yea ! choir kid things

are you a good singer?

hmm depends on ? your definition ... i have a good ear for pitch matching but that’s probably it ^^ (i have a small little byr cover on this blog too prob not that hard to find if people were curious but ://)

biggest fear?

[insert a long essay about ew gross feelings and insecurities no one asked for] idk bugs ?!? ig

are you a gossip?

depends on context ! i like being in the know but at the same time i don’t go out of my way looking for drama or any tea ;-; i keep to myself mostly !

do you like long or short hair?

on me, longer hair ! kinda a silly / unrelated remark but my old roomie said she thinks i would look nice with really long hair so i stopped trimming it even tho it’s summer ^^

favorite school subject?

haha probably bio and psych ! as i should certainly hope so as a bio major >.<

extrovert or introvert?

introvert !

what makes you nervous?

oh quite a few things hhh, social interactions do ;;;; i like talking to people but i tend to overthink just about everything so,,, i can easily misread neutral stimuli as negative haha... and going out and about now that the panoramendmic has crushed any and all my social skills / self confidence LOL

who was your first real crush?

haha he was in my honors english course and i think he and i argued about whether puppies are capable of real emotions jfksfjglds and during PE he’d run all the way across the gym to get our volleyball if we hit it out of the court ;;;; i ended up confessing the following year but uh .... things didn’t end well and it ended up following me all 4 years of high school lmao...

how many piercings do you have?

just the two ^^

how fast can you run?

at my peak i could run a mile in 8 minutes fdkjhgdfjg but nowadays running to my mailbox is difficult wtf.... listen i’ve been sitting stuck at home for almost two years now-

what color is your hair?

it’s a dark brown so dark it’s almost black around my roots but a lighter brown for the rest bc i dyed it ^^ i plan to redye it a reddish brown soon tho !

what color are your eyes?

dark brown as well ~

what makes you angry?

something jacob mentioned once i forget his exact wording but i have a lot of patience actually so rather than being angry it’s a bit more frustration, mostly at myself when smth i worked on really hard doesn’t work out, but also bc i constantly overthink and consider other people’s feelings it upsets me when other people are dismissive or plainly ignorant of the feelings of those around them... and also esp when people are unaware of how to deal with their own negative feelings so they take it out on others when they shouldn’t

do you like your own name?

not ? particularly ... tbh jess is not my full name but even so my name doesn’t really have any meaning of anything so it’s just :// a name i guess,,, i like it when people call me by name tho in the tags <333 lmao

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

lmao no

what are your strengths?

this would never fly in a resume but ??? oh man wish i knew

what are your weaknesses?

the questions is what ISN’T

what’s the color of your bedspread?

white with blue ink drawings <333 it’s very pretty i like it a lot

color(s) of your room?

dark biege ! a lot of warm neutral tones with splashes of pastels here and there

tagging anyone who wants to do this again haha ^~^

#thank you so so much again june ! this was a lot of fun ^^#errr well i couldn't sleep anyway bc tbz has me running on kst when really #it's almost 4am here #but ! ty again for the tag feel free to read none of this <3 #didn't wanna leave it sitting in my drafts so i went ahead :]]#jess.text #tag games #not tbz #✨.moots #sorry for the personal posts btw i will go queue tbz things now lmao

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princesscas · 4 years

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Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be.

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this.

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh? IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this:

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess.

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist.

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies)

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be.

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people.

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media.

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad)

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s.

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true.

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm)

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom)

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote:

#i just try to be nice man #i need to go finish my fanfc instead of talking about this lol #fandom things #mandy answers anon #drama for ts #anti bibros #anti bronlies #Anonymous #tw wincest #tw incest

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tinycaprisun · 3 years

Text

✨twenty questions✨

i was tagged by @freshlysqueezedmox !!! thanks summer i always get good and in my feelings when someone’s tags me in things 🧡

—

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

uh, liz is cool but really u can call me anything, like i’ll respond to bastard if u yell it loud enough

2. when is your birthday?

february 29th & yes i am not joking i was born on leap year and my day of birth only exists once every 4 years

3. where do you live?

in super mega ultra hell. is that meme already dead bc idk i like the verbiage of it lmao- no but for real i live in missouri, and there isn’t much to do other than stare at a giant hunk of curved metal and eat barbecue that the locals tell u is the best thing since sliced bread & maybe it is i just don’t like it myself ahaha

4. three (3) things you are doing right now?

aside from answering this? well listening to 9 to 5 by dolly parton bc yeehaw, petting my cat who’s curled up on my foot, and slowly waiting for the day to end

5. four (4) fandoms that have peaked your interest?

oh god there r too many to count but as of rn? probs wrestling, buzzfeed unsolved, rupaul’s drag race & just drag in general, and achievement hunter

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

um... if you would like the honest answer, not great... i lost my job in august so i haven’t been employed for a few months now. my dad hasn’t been making the money he used to so i’ve started helping paying the bills w/ the funds i had saved for going back to college from when i did have that job. sort of become a recluse again, where i almost never leave the house outside of small trips to the store or the literal once in a blue moon going and social distantly see a friend. it’s basically the life i lived in early 2019 while i’m very lonely all the time while trying to solve the problems of my family as the same time? whatever who cares i’m moving on

7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

oddly enough, ‘positions’ by ariana grande! i don’t listen to her all that often but for some reason this song really stuck to me! i especially like the versions of it where it’s slowed down and had reverb!

8. recommend a movie?

this might be out of left field, but ‘motocrossed’! it’s one of those disney channel original movies that i grew up with and it’s still pretty good to this day! the movie’s about (and this is in the words of the legendary nakeyjakey) girls pretending to be boys so they can ride dirt bikes

9. how old are you?

20!

10. school, university, occupation, other?

as i said before i am now unemployed. and before that i did try to go to university once but failed out of all my classes due to never going to them because i couldn’t force myself to get out of bed. i want to go back to school so fucking bad for secondary education physics as a practical career. but recently i’ve been teasing the idea of becoming a ring announcer because my voice was build to shout really loud, but who knows, u know?

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

cold 100% bc i cannot function in environments above 75° (fahrenheit). like it can be -7° outside and i’ll be pleased as punch but as soon as it gets up there in temp? i melt like a popsicle

12. name one fact others may not know about you.

i used to be a gymnast! did all the flipping and the balance beam stuff & maybe thinking abt doing it again. idk i just want to do a backflip and have cool muscles

13. are you shy?

it kinda depends? i can be the most loud and unabashed son of a bitch if i want to, but sometimes i do get into my own head and go silent and nervous.

14. preferred pronouns

she/her and they/them! and they r not “preferred”, they r my pronouns! :D

15. biggest pet peeve?

okay this isn’t as profound or interesting as summer’s was, but people who scrape their forks against their teeth! it is one the worst sounds known to man and it hurts my already messed up ears

16. what is your favorite “dere” type?

tsundere? i think? sure, i’ll go with that

17. rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy, 10 being the best it could be.

5, and this calvin and hobbes comic explains why

18. what is your main blog?

this. she’s been through a lot and i feel sorry for her honestly

19. list your side blogs and what they’re used for.

i used to have separate blogs a LONG time ago for art and writing, but as it turns out i’m shit at both so they got deleted and this is all i have now

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

if we aren’t counting the fact that i’m an asshole, i would say that i have the worst tendency to delete messages i send after a while. basically my brain goes into panic mode if someone isn’t responding back thinking “ur annoying them, they don’t want to talk to u. u should delete what u sent because u should have never of said anything in the first place! only speak when spoken to!” u know, the usual.

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certified and honorary cowboys i’m tagging: @orangechuckiet @darbs @yellow----daisy @trent-heel-beretta and anyone else who would like to participate i realize this is over a day old, soz for bothering y’all

#tag games #shut it liz #thank u summer!!!!! this was fun #gave me something to do for a bit and i needed it

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theartoflivingalways · 4 years

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i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point.

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you.

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so.

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am.

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry)

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be.

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well.

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now?

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to. i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :)

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them.

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (:

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time.

#why #me #cantsleep #upfor24hours #adderall #waitress #insecure #perfect #anxiety #sorry #helpme #help #needsleep #dontwanttotho #goodnight #getsomerest #ily #thanku

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