#normally I am a b size bitch
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It’s 5 in the morning I should be asleep but I’m trying to decide which editions of stormlight archive to get
#I have been aggressively bitching about trade paperbacks for a long time#particularly in the last few days because the one I’m reading is AWKWARD#normally I am a b size bitch#but they split them into halves and I don’t want that#so I was like well mass market it is#but there’s illustrations in them#which I would like to be able to see properly#so do I want the hardcovers??#not for 65 fucking dollars a book I don’t Jesus Christ#and they will also be awkward and heavy to actually read#in a perfect world I would be able to buy b size with the tor cover art with nothing split into parts#or at least be able to go to a bookshop and flick through the mass market and see if the illustrations are small and tucked into the spine#but no one has them physically#it’s not even like I’m getting them now I was always gonna wait until book five so this is dumb and I should go to bed#if you have the mass markets tho lemme know about the illustrations lmao#stormlight archive#brandon sanderson
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Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #6
Previous: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5
Angeal: No, Genesis, you spaghetti-noodle-spine-having-ass bitch.
Sephiroth: I identify as a tonberry *chases Cloud with a kitchen knife*
Zack: Ra Ra Rasputin *kicks Sephiroth over*
Genesis: Unhand me you cretin *alone, talking to no one*
Angeal: Zack just showed me a picture of the Grinch and said "hear me out"
Lazard: No, Sephiroth, you cannot have a human-sized cat bed in your office "for enrichment"
Cloud: Parkour time *crashes through the air vents*
Sephiroth: I'm the biggest lesbian ally in this department, actually.
Angeal: For the sake of my sanity I'm gonna pretend I didn't just see Zack twerking to One Winged Angel.
Luxiere: I would commit unspeakable atrocities for a crumb of Zack's attention.
Lazard: That stripper pole better be gone when I get back or so help me, Genesis, I will return you to the goddess.
Sephiroth: *does a single pump of sore throat spray* This is enough for sustenance for the day.
Kunsel: Care for a deep-fried cigarette?
Angeal: You look like an AI-generated twink.
Sephiroth: I've grown so tired of Genesis's voice that we now communicate solely through interpretive dance.
Lazard, over the speakers: Whoever heated fish in the break room microwave, please come by my office so I can break your knees.
Zack: Aww, I forgot to feed the Roomba :(
Genesis: I don't know why me and Angeal are being judged. Simulating a birth with a watermelon is a perfectly normal activity for two people.
Kunsel: Hopefully this office party won't end in accidental weed use.
Angeal: WHY IS THERE A FAMILY OF RACCOONS IN THE TRAINING ROOM?
Genesis: I noticed some homosexual subtext in your screams, do you want to talk about that?
Angeal: *sniff sniff* Ooh~ who's barbecuing? OH MY GOD IT'S AN ELECTRIC FIRE.
Roche: Every time I think about chopping my hair short I think "Sephiroth wouldn't want this for me" and the feeling is gone.
Genesis: I made a friend *drags in a skeleton with a Sephiroth wig*
Cloud: *points at Angeal, Genesis and Sephiroth* Pure of heart, dumb of ass, big of tit.
Lazard: I told Zack to use Excel and he started sobbing.
Angeal: WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SEASONING YOUR GROUND BEEF?
Sephiroth: It's extremely rude to ask someone why they're eating a salad bowl of udon at 8 AM. Mind your business, Zack.
Cloud: Genesis likes Loveless so much because the title resonates with his love life.
Zack: You keep your anxiety pills in a takeaway to-go box? Dude that's so fancy.
Lazard: Why is Sephiroth the only one wearing a shirt??
Angeal: Common sense has chased Zack all his life but he wears wheelies so he's faster
Sephiroth: I personally don't use the peace sign because I haven't had a day of peace since I was 12.
Kunsel: I'm never going out in public with Zack again. A child's balloon popped when it went near his hair.
Angeal: No I'm not giving you an aspirin. Last time I gave you one you crushed it and snorted it like cocaine.
Lazard: An overwhelming majority of you peaked in kindergarten.
Sephiroth: Zack, I'm becoming increasingly concerned by the amount of potatoes in your pants right now.
Zack: This year I want an A/B/O themed birthday party.
Sephiroth: Please don't commit tax fraud, Genesis. You won't thrive in prison.
Genesis: Does anyone have an extra ramen packet to give Sephiroth? The 64 he consumed this morning weren't enough.
Roche: Commander Rhapsodos and his emo fringe is our culture.
Zack: I'm at my fucking limit! I'm about to eat a vegetable!
Genesis: He's a son of a bitch
Sephiroth: That implies he has a mother, so I don't see how that's an insult.
Zack: Fuck around and find out *said with a chunk of Genesis' red coat hanging from his pocket*
Cloud: Does anyone have an extra brain cell? I lost my remaining one when Genesis spoke to me this morning.
Sephiroth: Damn.
Kunsel: Zack owes me so much money that if he sold his box of random shit he stole from Angeal, he still couldn't pay me back.
Angeal: Why are you guys playing Queen's Blood in the closet? is this a metaphor?
Genesis: Have you prayed to your Sephiroth cardboard cutout yet today?
Sephiroth: Alert me once Rufus Shinra arrives so that I may greet him adequately *said while building a pipe bomb*
Lazard: It's all fun and games until the timeout cage that I ordered online arrives.
Genesis: I will atone for my sins by becoming a nuisance to the environment.
Cloud: If Zack were a scented candle he'd smell like ADHD and crayons.
Sephiroth, standing on a table: DO NOT. EAT. THE CHEESECAKE. IN THE FRIDGE. It's mine.
Angeal: *with a bucket while it's raining hale* Free ice baby.
Zack: I finally have enough gil to buy a sixteen bouncy castles.
Genesis: Being overcome with the desire to eat pasta and call your mother at 2 AM and wondering if you're having a mental breakdown or are possessed by Sephiroth.
Lazard: I can't fire any of you, but I'm about to start setting things on fire.
#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#sephiroth#final fantasy vii#ffvii crisis core#genesis rhapsodos#ff7 crisis core#angeal hewley#ff7r#crisis core#incorrect ffvii#roche ff7r#kunsel ff7#lazard deusericus
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Incorrect CoD Quotes #8
*Soap grabs a balloon filled with helium and inhales*
Price: Oh god not again!
Soap: HOW Are unicorns fake but a giraffe is real!?
Ghost: WHAT?
Soap: Like, what’s more believable?
Gaz: Where are you going with this?
Soap: A horse with a horn *aggressively claps on “horn”* ORRRRR a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot NECK?
Sherlock: I work with idiots 😑
———
Ghost: Does anyone else think…
Soap: That’s dangerous.
Ghost: That some people… just need a high five…
Price: That’s nice, Simon.
Ghost: In the head…
Roach: Yassss
Ghost: With a chair?
Gaz: Why are you like this?
———
Ghost: Okay, what does A stand for?
Roach: Arson.
Ghost: Aww you’re so good.
Soap: Okay B. What does B stand for?
Roach: Barson.
*Soap laughs*
Gaz: What stands for C?
Roach: Commit arson.
Ghost: Ooooooh!
Price: D!?
*Roach looks at Price and smiles*
Price, thinking: Please be normal.
Roach: Don’t come near me… I’m going to commit ARSON!!!!
*everyone else laughs*
Price, sarcastic: I raised him real well.
———
Sherlock: How did you take down Captain America?
Ghost, using a terrible German accent: Ve shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate.
König, overhears Ghost: …Fick dich🖕(“Fuck you” in German)
———
Ghost: Umm, do you have a pencil by any chance?
Rudy: No, but I have a knife…
Ghost: What-what?
Rudy: And I know how to cut a bitch… *whispers* Try me
———
*Rudy cooking in the kitchen*
Alejandro, walking in: Hey mi amor?
Rudy: ahuh?
Alejandro: If somebody told you they’d give you a million dollars for knocking me out, what would you do?
*Rudy immediately slaps Alejandro with a frying pan*
Rudy: Where’s my money?
Alejandro, on the floor: 😵💫
———
Roach, singing for Sherlock: Somebody come get her, she’s fucking up my dinner~
*Sherlock throws a plate at and he falls down*
Sherlock, singing for Roach: Somebody come get him, before I fucking end him!~
———
Nikolai: There’s a spider!
Laswell: So what do you me to do?!
Nikolai: KILL IT!
Laswell: YOU SAW IT FIRST!
Nikolai: YOU KILL IT!
Laswell: You’re the man!!
Nikolai: Since when?!
———
Stupid-drunk!Roach to Sherlock: You so crazy… I think I wanna have your babies.
Sherlock: 😐
Gaz, thinking: I don’t know if I should be confused or just jealous.
Soap, just confused: How would that even work?
Ghost : I think it’s time for you to go to sleep, Roach.
———
Sherlock: Listen. Am I the most attractive person in the world?
Soap: Is this a trick question?
Sherlock: No. But do I have a great personality?
Price: *face palms*
Sherlock: Also no. But do I wake up every morning and try to be the best person I can be?
Ghost, has only heard the first half of this bit before: I actually don’t know this one…
Sherlock: No.
Nikolai: …Sweetie, did Ghost get to you?
———
Price : Repeat after me: I can do this!
Nikolai: I can do this.
Price: I’m ready to burn some calories!
Nikolai: I’m ready to burn some calories.
Price: I’m done eating fast food and drinking alcohol.
Nikolai: …I’m ready to burn some calories.
Price: Alright, let’s get started!
———
Soap, Gaz, Ghost: Ahhh
Soap: We’re d-d-d driving in a-
Gaz: Car! Destination drug dealer’s-
Ghost: Bar! Pass the mic over to Price-!
Soap: Shit, we forgot Price.
Ghost: …But we can’t turn back because we’ve too far!
Gaz: We have to turn back, though. We can’t leave him.
———
Alejandro: You eat so fucking gross, Graves. Do you eat like that on dates?
Graves, cheeks puffed up with meatballs and marinara sauce on his face: …I don’t go on dates.
Alejandro: Exactly. There’s a reason why no one takes you on dates.
Graves: Well damn! Who hurt you today?
Alejandro: Bitch nobody.
———
Graves: Hey, Sergeant. …Soap.
Soap: What?
Graves: *hands Soap a coffee cup* Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.
Soap: *takes the cup and gives it a sip* Hazelnut?
Graves: I don’t know, I found it in the garbage.
*Soap tries to spit it out*
———
Gaz: Nikolai, what’s wrong with Sherlock? She seems angry.
Nikolai: She’s totally fine.
Gaz: Okay? Well, where’s Graves?
Sherlock, walking into the room: Maybe he got sick… or went missing… OR GOT HIT BY A BUS!!
Gaz: 🙊
*Sherlock leaves the room*
Gaz: Totally fine, huh?
Nikolai: Yeah… Totally fine.
———
Nikolai: So, the man that tried to kill you - what did he look like?
Sherlock: He was so hot. It was crazy.
Price: O-ok. But what did he look like?
Sherlock: I mean where should I start? Uh, he was tall, you know, maybe 6’3” or 6”4”? Uh absolutely just jaaacked! But not like scary-body-builder jacked. Like, he was ripped but he still had a soft touch. You could totally fall asleep in his arms.
Price: Alright what did his face look like??
Sherlock: Well- uh- y’know Brad Pitt?
Price: Yeah?
Sherlock: Forget Brad Pitt. This guy was hotter.
Nikolai: Hotter than Brad Pitt??
Sherlock: Hotter than Bradley Joseph Pitt.
Soap: That’s crazy!
Sherlock: I would pay money to gaze into those eyes again.
Gaz: Even after he tried to kill you?
Sherlock: I almost wish he’d stabbed me to death and took his time doing it just so the last thing I saw could’ve been those ocean blue eyes.
Ghost: I’m getting a little hot just off your description so I can only imagine how it felt to be there!
Sherlock: Insane.
Gaz: Gosh I can’t believe he was hotter than Brad Pitt.
Ghost: Hey, what did she say about Brad Pitt?
Gaz: Oh, shoot! I-I-I-I I’m sorry!
Soap: Yeah, forget Brad Pitt!
Gaz: Done! Forgotten! Who is he?
Ghost: He doesn’t exist.
Soap: He’s gone.
Gaz: Bradley David Pitt is no more.
Sherlock: Good!
Price and Nikolai: 😑
(Note: Sorry there was no post yesterday! There will be more later, promise!)
#call of duty#incorrect cod quotes#inspired by youtube#john soap mactavish#captain john price#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#call of duty oc#cod sherlock#chimera sherlock#gary roach sanderson#rudolfo parra#alejandro vargas#cod könig#kate laswell#cod nikolai#phillip graves
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having a bit of a bad brainspace weekend.
i am intensely uncomfortable and unable to do things for myself that i normally could do and this is my not-so-friendly reminder that despite the sometimes crippling ADHD and the fact that my GI issues suck i am, in fact, mostly usually quite able-bodied. i am used to things i am not physically able to do being more in the realm of "touching my toes" due to my intense lack of flexibility or "lift my partner" due to him being 3x my size. I've historically been pretty strong and in good shape for someone that is allergic to the gym, so i was not anticipating adding things like "putting on socks" and "rescuing my sweet idiot dog from the couch he's forgotten how to get off of" to that list.
i made the mistake of asking my partner what it looked like i was struggling with rn because i'm not good at recognizing when i actually need to ask for help vs when i can just power through. this was a poor decision because this means that i received an itemized list of my recent failures. not phrased in a way to be hurtful, just expressing frustration because these were all things that i had previously handled myself with ease and now a) was suddenly not doing, or doing inconsistently, and b) was not indicating i needed help with. and he's not trying to step in on his own and make me feel micromanaged or smothered, because he knows i want to do for myself as much as possible (and also i'd probably bite his head off) and he's 100% correct. and he had to kind of sit me down and be like "you are pushing yourself too hard please stop" and i wanted to shake him and scream that i'm not, that i don't feel like i'm doing enough because i am just a pile of disappointments right now. massive laundry lists of things i need to do and can't because literally if i try it physically hurts me.
anyway i really want to write but the second i sit down i either get distracted with something else or fall asleep or sit there vibrating over the things i should be doing but can't so. there's that. [gazes longingly at several half-written WIP chapters wasting away in the corner] i know where they're all going. i just don't have the gas to get us there. and i hate that. especially because i have this intense fear of not having time for writing at all once Bean is here.
idk. everything sucks rn and i hate it here and i don't wish this on anyone. next person who tells me this is a wonderful miracle and that i should feel so blessed is getting a shoe thrown at them. "best thing you've ever done" fuck you. i know what i did and why, but i also knew it was going to suck ass at least 90% of the time. it was, i thought, an informed decision. i either underestimated the level of disability i would be experiencing or overestimated my ability to cope with it. like it's fine it's temporary i will get through it but jesus fucking christ this is rotten work. and not in a "not if it's you" or an "especially if it's you" sort of way, but more of a "despite" situation. i adore this kid so much already but i also want to be able to stand up for more than 5 consecutive minutes without feeling like i might die. i want to be able to have a conversation without immediately being out of breath. and even all of that i feel terrible venting about because in terms of symptoms i am getting off SO FUCKING EASY. it could have been way worse. and i'm bitching about it this hard. bitching about what???
anyway. so begins the final countdown. with me crying hysterically over a bag of fuckin pastries i left on the counter and feeling lower than i think i've felt since '09, which ain't a great feeling.
[deep breath.] everything will be fine. it just sucks right now. and also i really hate writing thank you cards.
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Three is the Magic Number
Oh great wheel of names, reveal to me the trios paired!
Characters: Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ace, Deuce, Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, Idia, Ortho, Vil, Rook, Epel, Lilia, Malleus, Silver, Sebek, Yuu, Grim
Cw// swearing, mentions of m*rder and death, implications of ab*se and Riddle’s past, implications of mental health issues, platonic bed sharing and cuddling
This is based off of my person experiences in choir. They paired us pretty randomly which lead to some…interesting situations. So I decided to do the set up I had on tour (two full sized beds, 3-4 people to a room) because I think it’s funny when other people have to go through that. I used wheel of names to sort them into threes, then whoever was left over would stay with Yuu and Grim
Group A: Idia Shroud, Cater Diamond, Sebek Zigvolt.
First thing that happens is Idia tries to get his own room. When he fails, he just groans and sucks it up. He barely sleeps anyway, so who cares. Second thing that happens is Sebek immediately goes into logistics. Who sleeps alone and who has to share? What is the shower routine going to look like? Where does everyone plan to keep their luggage? What time does everyone want to be woken up the next morning?
The answer to these questions from Cater and Idia are disappointing to Sebek. Idia says he’ll “sleep” on the floor (aka play games on his tablet until morning) and Cater says he simply doesn’t care. It ends up with Sebek sleeping alone while Cater and Idia sit on the other bed, showing each other memes and watching stupid watchmojo videos.
Eventually Sebek gets tired of the light pollution coming from five feet away and goes into a long rant about how rest is important for the body and spirit of a warrior and blah blah blah. Idia and Cater couldn’t care less, they just turn down their brightness and Sebek leaves them be. Late into the night when Cater and Idia get kinda tired, they talk about deep personal shit they normally wouldn’t, but proximity makes it hard to keep in. They end up sleeping in the same bed, and wake up spooning (Idia is the little spoon) at 6 am because Sebek is a madman.
Group B: Silver, Leona Kingscholar, and Vil Schoenheit
Being completely honest, none of these guys particularly care. There’s two beds, there’s two prissy bitches, and one dude who falls asleep anywhere and everywhere.
Silver ends up taking the desk chair in the corner, looking surprisingly comfy. Leona takes the bed closest to the door and Vil takes the one near the window and AC.
Leona ends up leaving his shit everywhere because he’s used to Ruggie being the one to pick it up. Unfortunately, Vil doesn’t play that shit and they end up getting into a fight over it. Silver wakes up sometime during this and watches them from his chair, snacking on some chips he packed.
Speaking of, Vil’s got several bags, two dedicated to clothes, one to shoes, and one to his skincare supplies and makeup. Silver packed two outfits, a collapsible staff, a baton, two daggers, a set of silverware, and a million and one snacks. Leona has no idea what’s in his bag because Ruggie packed it for him, but he knows there’s clothes and probably shoes somewhere in his duffel bag.
Eventually everyone settles back down and once Vil is done taking 2 hours in the bathroom, everyone ends up going to bed pretty easily. Vil takes beauty sleep seriously and the other two just nap wherever
Group C: Jack Howl, Kalim Al Asim, and Ace Trappola
The magic wheel of names seemed to have a thirst for chaos, because putting these three in a room is asking for it. When they first enter the room, Ace ran at the nearest bed and yelled “dibs!” While Kalim and Jack struggled to get all the luggage through the door.
Kalim, ray of sunshine he is, immediately said okay to sharing with Jack. Jack, however, had a different thing in mind, tugging Kalim over to where Ace laid face down on the bed and promptly squishing him further into it.
Ace struggled from under them and eventually managed to roll out just as Kalim’s hands managed to find a pillow, promptly smacking Ace with it. This obviously resulted in a pillow fight.
Unfortunately, Jack Howl is not as responsible as everyone seems to think, because with Ace’s insistence and Kalim’s puppy eyes, he relents to sneaking out of the room to fuck around. The three managed to steal from a vending machine, run up and down all the halls, and go swimming in the pool. They were pretty surprised to run into Floyd, who was doing the same, but he was surprisingly chill and ended up joining their little group at Kalim’s invitation.
When they finally make it back to their dorm room, Floyd ends up staying with them. Kalim and Ace share one bed while Floyd and Jack share another. Floyd is a cuddler and so is Kalim, which means there’s no escape. They all end up late for their call time and get yelled at.
Group D: Riddle Rosehearts, Ruggie Bucchi, and Malleus Draconia
Every single person in this group is nervous. Riddle is nervous because Ruggie is known for robbing people and Malleus is naturally kinda intimidating, Ruggie is nervous because holy fuck two housewardens in one room and they’re the scary ones, and Malleus is nervous because he doesn’t want to scare his little friends.
Riddle is the one to act most at ease, despite being nervous. He goes about his routine of checking his notes, taking a shower, readying his clothes for the next day, and drinking a cup of calming tea before bed like usual. Ruggie pretends everything is alright as he makes small talk with Malleus, slowly loosening up when he realizes that the faerie prince isn’t gonna eat him. Malleus mostly watches everything play out with interest, playing with his tamagotchi and idly amusing Ruggie.
Eventually Ruggie gets bored and turns on the TV to a kids channel, watching the cartoon playing with mild interest. He also makes himself some microwave popcorn, and ends up offering Malleus some as well.
Riddle wants to be pissy about the TV being on, but he figures that keeping Malleus and Ruggie happy is probably more important. Eventually after getting pretty annoyed, he also watches the cartoon. He ends up completely enraptured since he never got to watch them as a kid, and it shows. Now, instead of watching the TV, Ruggie and Malleus are watching him.
When they eventually shut off the tv after some snarky banter between the lot of them, it’s surprisingly Malleus and Riddle that share. Malleus doesn’t sleep, but he does like to lounge, and Riddle sleeps like the dead due to ignoring his parents yelling as a kid, so it ends up being good for all of them. Riddle also sleeps in fetal position and will cling to anything nearby, so Malleus ends up with a very tiny red haired menace latched on his arm in a death grip all night. Neither one talk about it when he wakes up. (Ruggie enjoys the entire bed to himself and sprawls out across it, waking up turned sideways and head hanging off the edge in the morning)
Group E: Floyd Leech, Jamil Viper, and Azul Ashengrotto
Could the great seven not show some mercy to poor Jamil? Not only is he stuck with Floyd Leech and Azul Ashengrotto for three full nights, but there was an error on the hotels part, leading there to be one king sized bed instead of two full sized ones.
Floyd and Azul don’t really care, they’ve known each other forever and it’s not like they haven’t slept in the same space before. However, both Jamil and Azul are nervous messes for one reason in particular - Jamil hates Azul. And Azul…is a simp.
After the two stand around staring at each other for way too long, Floyd just goes, “I’ll sleep in the middle!” Then bellyflops on the bed. This does not make it better.
Azul instead just sighs, then disappears into the bathroom to change. Floyd and Jamil don’t bother with that, because basketball club and all. Once everyone ends up in their pajamas and teeth brushed and all that, Azul and Floyd climb into bed. Azul lays on his side, facing outward, while Floyd lays on his back staring expectantly at Jamil.
When Jamil finally gets in, he is immediately trapped by Floyd and forced to stay laying. Now, Floyd has his legs trapping Azul’s down while he grasps onto Jamil with his arms, pressing his face into Jamil’s shoulder.
Eventually two of them manage to find sleep, but Floyd gets bored and decides to go for a swim. He ends up staying with group C for the night.
Next morning, Azul and Jamil are snuggling. It seems that everyone at this school is fucking touchstarved. Azul has his head pressed into Jamil’s chest, legs intertwined and otherwise curled in on himself, and Jamil is cradling him with one arm thrown over his waist, the other under Azul’s head. When they wake up they end up springing away from each other. Azul stutters out apologies while Jamil insistently refuses to talk about it. Then they remember Floyd is supposed to be there and start freaking out. Don’t worry, they find him.
Group F: Jade Leech, Epel Felmier, and Lilia VanRouge.
Epel nearly pisses himself when he finds out who he’s rooming with. The old guy who can burn water and the henchman of the fish mafia seems like a recipe for disaster.
It turns out it’s actually not that bad, though. Jade is perfectly courteous, even if he’s a bit formal, and Lilia isn’t nearly as chaotic as Epel assumed he would be. He never asks about bed arrangements, and neither Lilia or Jade offer any information. Instead, Jade and Lilia sit on one bed while Epel sits on the other.
It’s Lilia who turns on the TV to a competitive cooking show, but it’s Jade who seems to take most interest. The two vice housewardens talk amongst themselves about the techniques and recipes of the contestants, place their bets about who will win what round and who’s going home. Epel sits silently and half assess the skincare routine Vil makes him do.
At the stroke of midnight, Lilia stretches dramatically and says, “I think it’s time for you two to get some sleep.” Before he reaches down and digs out his game. Jade says nothing, instead changing into his comically large pajamas before quietly saying “goodnight” and settling himself into the bed he was sitting on. Epel does the same, watching laying on his side to watch Lilia and Jade for a while before he actually fell asleep. Last thing he remembered was Lilia giving a sly grin and a chuckle before waving his magic pen at him, so he assumes Lilia did something.
Lilia stays up all night, like Malleus, and plays his game the whole time. He hears people running up and down the halls at around 3am, but just laughs to himself.
Jade sleeps on his side with a pillow on top of his head, and barely moves in his sleep. He doesn’t even look like he’s breathing, which lead Lilia to check and make sure he was alive a few times. Epel, on the other hand, kicks, squirms, mumbles, and snores in his sleep. All of it fairly loudly. Jade is somewhat grumpy when he wakes up, but a latte and he’s in better shape, so he won’t have to murder his roommates today. Epel is very energized though, and practically bouncing around. Jade has to count every reason why he can’t hurt Epel in his head as he finishes breakfast, carefully keeping his face neutral but his eyes read “I’m going to stab you”
Group G: Deuce Spade, Rook Hunt, and Trey Clover
These three do not care. Like at all. Deuce has shared a bed with Ace, and Ace is an ass, so this is a cakewalk. Trey is just exhausted, and Rook is…Rook.
Rook is the one who ends up sleeping alone, due to the fact that neither Trey nor Deuce feel comfortable sleeping so close to someone who literally hunts other students, but other than that it’s chill. Trey and Rook talk about dumb science shit while Deuce does his best to keep up, even going as far as taking notes for later. They end up doing homework together for a while before watching an action-comedy movie before bed (Deuce and Rook wanted action, Trey didn’t want to be fucking bored)
Trey and Deuce don’t end up cuddling, per say, but they do end up touching. Their legs are close pressed together, Trey is somewhat sprawled, and Deuce is curled up facing away from Trey. Trey ends up with a hand pressing against Deuce’s back.
Deuce and Trey wake up slightly alarmed to do the fact that Rook is staring at him. Trey just sighs and turns over, which means that Deuce just feels kinda silly when he starts mumbling random panicked words.
Eventually they do all get up because it’s the call time, and Deuce has to very carefully persuade Rook to leave the bow and arrow behind for the day. Trey doesn’t speak until he’s had coffee, and ends up sitting near Jade in complete silence.
Group H: Ortho Shroud, Yuu, and Grim.
The one dude who’s a robot and can’t sleep in a bed is the one the prefect and Grim are left with. It’s not unpleasant - it means that each of them get their own bed, much to Grim’s joy, but it is a little odd.
Regardless, they have a great time. Ortho is always pleasant company, happy to chatter away about anything. Grim is always unpleasant company, because he’s a tiny, furry arsonist. Truly, the amount of fire in the room is a bit of a concern to the one human among them, but not enough to really care.
Grim and Ortho don’t bathe which means the bathroom is pretty much all Yuu’s. They come back to find Ortho and Grim also watching cartoons, sitting on one bed while your stuff lay untouched on the other one.
It’s roughly 11pm when you decide it’s time for the kids to sleep, and while Grim complains, Ortho doesn’t. Instead he just pulls out his charging cable and looks for the closes outlet.
Yuu gets up and goes to help him out, letting him sit in the desk chair as they plug in his charger. They carefully plug him in and make sure he’s comfy, then give him a (PLATONIC) kiss on the forehead before he enters rest mode. What a cute little robot kid.
Grim doesn’t wanna go to bed but when reminded that he has a whole one to himself, he finally settles down for rest.
Yuu goes to bed shortly after, mentally checking off everything on their list of things to do today and planning for the one of tomorrow.
When they wake up, Grim is snoozing on their chest, Ortho is carrying some prepackaged goods, and it’s exactly one half hour before call time.
“It’s important to eat something before a day full of activity.” Ortho says calmly, handing you the procured foods and leaning over to pet Grim, “We have one half hour before call time. May I go to my brother?”
Yuu nodded, “of course! Thanks, Ortho. I’ll come find you and Idia in twenty minutes, okay?”
“Okay! See you then!”
#twst mc#twst headcanons#twst yuu#riddle rosehearts#trey clover#cater diamond#ace trappola#deuce spade#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#rook hunt#epel felmier#idia shroud#ortho shroud#twst grim#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#twst silver#sebek zigvolt#fluff
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tuesday again 8/8/2023
theoretically seeing two apartments this afternoon so i am taking the date as good luck
listening
the asteroids galaxy tour's the sun ain’t shinin no more. this was apparently a very famous iPod commercial song? wasn't paying attention to general popular culture when the original iPods were coming out. i would attempt to classify this as somewhere between the doors and smash mouth. spotify.
bitches by tove lo (feat charli xcx, icona pop, elliphant, ALMA). is this a good song? eh. is it fun to scream-sing while navigating through packs of lifted pickups whose hoods are higher than the roof of my moderately-sized hatchback? yes. spotify
how'd i find these? really leaning hard on spotify autogenerated dance playlists these days.
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reading
normal pair of books to read at the same time
diana biller's hotel of secrets was an odd one. you CANNOT take away from this section "oh tumblr user girlfriendsofthegalaxy hates consent" okay? i don't piss on the poor either. i had to really think about if i thought the sex scenes were jarringly modern and concluded no, they simply challenged my preconceptions of what a single mid-thirties woman in late 1800s vienna might get up to in a time when the best available methods of birth control were french letters. however, the lengthy discussion around consent and boundaries read as somewhat performative and out of place? or like a slightly different tone? than the rest of the actual sex scenes.
in many ways the romance was the b-plot to the hotel's inner workings and the international intrigue, which was fun. i enjoyed the a-plot enough to put a hold on biller's next romance, about a young american window in gilded age nyc. we'll see how that all shakes out!
i did not enjoy and did not finish chris miller's hefty pop history book on the history of microchip production and manufacture. got about a third of the way through. i think i most disliked his approach-- the technical style is very polished, one sentence flows into the next quite well, although we have very different opinions about the meaning of "intuitive" -- but we sit in very different seats watching the american political thunderdome. the way he presents his ideas is a bit jarring, bc it is an almost full-throated and uncritical endorsement of america's cold war diplomatic policies. i think many people would agree with me when i say those policies were not very good.
both of these have been on my holds list for months and i could not tell you the inciting incidents that made me place a hold.
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watching
in my best friend's endless search for Things to Have on in the Background That Are Semi Child Friendly (or THBTASCF), i have viewed National Treasure (2004, dir. Turteltaub), Rush Hour (1998, dir. Ratner) and Rush Hour 2 (2001, dir. Ratner).
i cannot say i truly enjoyed any of these choices or that they have aged particularly well. national treasure has such an ominous looming of the whedonesque Well That Happened!!! that continues to infect movies.
also rewatched The Mummy (1999, dir. Sommers) bc i wanted a screenshot of the subtitles [YEEHAWING, GUNSHOTS] which is my Texas Adventure(TM) tag, but the subtitles on my pirate movie platform of choice are not that sophisticated. you'll simply have to take my word for it bc my dvd box set is still in storage.
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playing
mainlining g/enshin impact. did not realize a whole nother goddamn country is being released next week. their every-six-weeks major content update schedule is batshit insane and i do not want to really think about the level of crunch happening over there.
the regions we have so far are legally-not-switzerland, not-china, not-japan, not-india, and we are going to not-france next. it has a real jules verne/twenty thousand leagues under the sea/steampunk vibe about it. look at this whimsical little deep-sea diver boy!
i have not enjoyed this past region (sumeru, legally-not-india) as much as the others. this may be due to the hiccup of seasonal depression i am experiencing. it may be bc this is the most Contiguous Landmass segment of the map and it's less segmented into individual regions than the other countries. it may be bc i have not spent quite as much time running around here as i have liyue (legally-not-china) which does feel genuinely comforting to run around. it may be bc the last time i played this game i still worked in the games industry and i still have residual brain weirdness about playing games.
i do appreciate their dedication to Big Fuckoff Trees tho.
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making
fallow weeks. things are simply not percolating in time for yeehawgust, due to the agonies, and that's fine, i'm telling myself through gritted teeth.
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Sry to bother u Queen I have no one to be Insane about style with irl and I had to get this off my chest lmaooo.
I just love how in The List episode when Kyle was at the bottom, Stanley-#1-Kyle-Hypeman-Marsh was IMMEDIATELY like I SMELL BULLSHIT and set out to prove it. “You’re tellin me NONE of the girls can see this guy for the beautiful, stunning, EFFERVESCENT creature he is??? HE IS VERY GORGEOUS TO ME!”
Anyway Stan Marsh is a Pretty Boy Kyle truther that’s all thank u for ur time
best friend why would u say something so UNCONTREVERSIAL and UNIVERSALLY TRUE! kyle is so pretty!!!!! ceo of being beautiful!
i also have no one to talk to about style irl, my friends are in different fandoms being deranged, you can talk to me always! my dms are always open and i hope its ok that i published this!
i must spread the sweet gospel of beautiful boy kyle broflovski!
i wrote so much i am also so crazy help i'm very passionate abt this.
like in pep, at least to me, stan is just very conventionally attractive out the gate ( his eyes b so mesmerizing my goodness like ur gonna look that man in the eyes and tell me ur not gonna give him ur wallet ) and like bouncy, boy next door hollister modelly. like toms rhinoplasty is so obsessed w his nose that they put it on the WALL!!!!! and that shit was natural like they didnt even do work on him those LIARS!
kyle though. kyle looks like a beautiful ethereal otherworldly fae creature to me like his beautiful snowflake freckles, his forest fire hair his EYE BALLS !!! of a reasonable size and not goldfish stan sized! ALSO THEYRE GREEN! LIKE HELLO!!!! HEARTSTOPPING JAWDROPPIN! like he is so fantasy high elf, renaissance painting, like hauntingly beautiful i feel this shit in my bones like u see that man and ur like u have the most strikingly interesting and indescribably beautiful face i have ever seen it is in my dreams my nightmares
HE IS NOT OF THIS WORLD AND PEOPLE ARE MAD ABOUT IT! PEOPLE NAMED ERIC CARTMAN WHO SHOULD DIE VIOLENTLY! I HATE U
kyle is just like a beautiful work or art and very pretty, i feel but in a less conventional way! BUT NOT TO STAN OH MY GOD! like it is so deeply funny to me that ppl are like 'okokok but stan didnt even see kyle like that at first he was all up on wendy'
UHHHHHH!!! six year old stan pep saw kyle for five whole seconds and was on his hands and knees BEGGING like PLSPLSPLSPLS ONE CHANCE ONE CHANCE ONE CHANCE all while kyle was actively trying to KILL HIM!!! and he did not let up once! not once! he was BEWITCHED!!!! BY THAT CHILDS BEAUTY!!! it was THAT SERIOUS TO HIM!!!! like he followed kyle everywhere like he was staking his claim he was like this is my otherworldly beautiful fae ginger boyfriend and i need all of u normal bitches to back the FUCK up!
like thats just my hc but also like...that feels so real to me and in every time line universe of the nina fanfic world stan is like immediately obsessed with kyle and singles him out bc hes BEAUTIFUL! and i think that should be true in canon south park just given his m.o.
( also i feel that bc of the society we live in, being lgbt is so frowned upon and othered that boys and girls are just wired to assume that their same sex counterparts have to originate/stay in friendship...like theyre not supposed to deviate or jump immediately to crushes and shit which sucks...also when ur six understanding romantic love is like nonexistent like even stans ginormous loverboy heart could nt figure that shit out but still immediately jumped to idk what this feeling is but I Need You ahaa )
BACK TO THE LIST! YES I'M BEING CRAZY! STYLE 101 CLASS IS IN SESSION
the list is so AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA bc it was so fucking RIGGED!!!!
like i cannot speak to much on the canon of south park because i dont love a lot of it so thats why i am girlbossing it but like in pep like BEBE PUT KYLE AT THE BOTTOM TO SPITE HIM!!! AND PUT CLYDE AT THE TOP LIKE!!! BOOOOO ( i luv u clyde so sorry baby )
like objectively i think it is clear that kyle is pretty hes just MEAN and will hiss and bite u so people do not fuck with him!!! like multiple people have tried to bark up that tree and barely escaped with their lives like stan is just so unserious with his life that he did not care if kyle ripped him to shreds AND IT WAS WORTH IT HE WOOOOON!
but ok yes...theres a point somewhere the point is that unconciously or not stan has been in love with kyle his entire life and regardless thinks he himself is oridinary and that kyle is very beautiful so him being put near the top and kyle at the bottom was tooooootally like...alright so this is a joke right like this is a joke kyle this is so unserious like its a joke im near the top BUT LIKE! realized it wasnt a joke and was SOOOOOOOOO MAD
i know he was heated oh my god i know he told him he was very beautiful for hours and it was so unplatonic it was hilarious stan cannot fight but he totally Let Me Speak To Your Managered barbara stevens so hard like LOOK AT THIS EARTH ANGEL! take that list of LIES down stevens or i will take your LIFE! justice for kyle! <3
last thing that actually makes me sad is that the list like actively affected kyle so heavily that his self confidence and insecurities around his body got so severe that it made him like literally hate himself and like I WANT TO!!!! FIGHT SO BAD!
in closing...pretty boy kyle nation.
also, in rm kyle is also extremely beautiful. like EXTREMELY. its talked abt regularly by everyone. its not even contested. like ppl whisper to bebe abt it like who is ur friend hes soooo pretty PLS set me up on a date w him and bebes like.....uh.....u can try but uh....i wouldn't baby. just trust me on that one. hes very dark academia beautiful marble statue beautiful. like when hes in turtle necks and blazers and tailored pants and shit its like...is it hot in here shdlkah
hes just so mean and scary and awkward its hard to flirt with him. that did not stop stan in that universe either im afriad. all the nina stans are in the kyle chokehold.
like he literally is just in his raggedy ass tired college student garb at home as a way to like diminish how naturally beautiful he is! BUT IT DOESNT WORK BC HE IS JUST MESSY BUN BIG SWEATSHIRT Y/N FANFIC TUMBLR GIRL MAIN CHARACTER CUTE SO NICE TRY! but yes hes fine as hell amen gospel preached. love u riles
#this was multiple paragraphs of me yelling to say the same thing#but yes i am of pretty boy kyle truthers he is so beautiful that god made him mean as all to scare the hoes away#not stan tho...whew...stan has been trying to marry him since kindergarten help#my favorite part of pep that kgarten stan was like obsessed with kyle and ignored the 99% of the other people who were in love with him#to sit next to kyle who immediately hated him...and yes that says a lot abt stan...yes he should speak to someone abt that#TALK TO ME ANY TIME GIRL#ANY OF YOU HAHA
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Get to know me~
Tagged by @itshannjisung
❣ Who is your favorite Kpop group?❣
These dorks! Stray Kids. I also love BTS and Block B. I haven't gotten super into girl groups yet, but I am inching my way with Itzy, Twice, and Mamamoo! If people have song recommendations please let me know!
❣ Which member sparked your interest first?
This artsy motherfucker. I saw a couple tiktok edits of this man and I needed to know why an anime character had come to life. Then I found out about SKZ, read some fanfiction, and by the time I looked up Chan had stolen me and I now am holding a wolfchan. Like you have to understand, I study art and dance and all of this stuff, I am going to school to work in museums, like this is my shtick! HE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON I'VE EVER SEEN!! AND I'VE MET TOM HIDDLESTON
❣ Who was your first bias?
For stray kids its Chan, I am the mom friend, he is the dad friend and together we make a happy family.
NOW FIRST EVER BIAS?!
THIS DORK! EVERYONE SAY HI TO P.O (Pyo Ji-hoon) I love him with all of my heart, I will always be in debt to him as my first-ever Bias. I know he is an actor now BUT THIS MANS VOICE?!?! GAHHHHH He could give felix a run for his money like thats the vibe he is. Where normally hes this, like a college professor, suit-wearing dorky big grinned man and his voice is that of a rocker who smokes a pack a day
❣ Who is your current bias?
LOOK AT SASSY PANTS THINKING HES SO COOL! I-its chan guys. Im basic bitch I know. BUT LISTEN Ey ey ey, we all need a 5'7 man to tell us he thinks we're pretty. Even though he embodies being 6'1.
❣ What makes them your bias?
It is hard for me to really describe why. Not just because I picked him, or I like him the most, but being a fan of Stray Kids, meeting the people I have, all of the members but especially Chan make me want to be better. I want to be able to go up to them and say "Because of you and your inspiration, I now have achieved X" I want to participate in life and do things again. I want to go to therapy, I want to work out again and fight my eating disorder. I am creating art, and writing songs???? I've never done that before and they aren't awful! Life is brighter because Stray Kids and Chan are in it. I look at the moon every night and think of something Jin (bts) said, that its the same moon and look at it and think of him. Just these little reminders that while the world seems to feel so big and scary and nothing is going right, you are a speck on a floating rock in space. Just like them.
Also Chan says he doesn't love himself, he doesn't think hes attractive. So it makes me feel validated that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I look??? Because if hes as prince charming as he is maybe im not as bad looking as I think I do?
❣ Who is your bias wrecker?
Uhhh all of them????? There isn't a wreck-ER its you are wrecked by all of them! It was Hyunjin for a while, now I think it's Minho??? It switches on the daily honestly??? I will take anything and anyone of them.
❣ Which member(s) are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?
Felix/Han I love me some soft boys. Also I am 5'9, plus size, and very no-nonsense. The idea of these tiny men getting me to....do things...and uh trying to get me flustered just- yea does good for the soul. I love like reverse expectation fics? Like the big tall scary one is the subby sweet sunshine gf type and the tiny brightly colored talkative one is the super scary dominate teasing one. Its great.
❣ When did you first discover this group?
Last fall, I had just gotten out of a situationship and the band that brought me to it wasn't putting out music and I wanted to find joy again so I tried to find what I was into prior to rock music and that was kpop. Looked up groups that were popular, got back into BTS and then Stray Kids were in my recommended and the rest is history
❣ Have you ever been to one of their concerts?
No! But if they come to Washington you know I will be there. I am going to see Enhypen this month with a friend of mine though! First kpop experience
❣ What are some of your favorite songs by the group?
ITEM
Youtiful
Case 143
Red Lights
Comflex
My Universe
Tortorus and Hare
Social Path
I tag @kaciidubs @7ndipity
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Say, hey there! 🦈
21 y/o they/them here, hoping for 18+ partners.
With Tears Of The Kingdom almost upon us, my Breath Of The Wild hyperfixation is returning, too, and so I’m looking for smutty, porn with a little bit of plot, horny in a loving way type of SidLink roleplays. When I say a little bit, I mean about a 70/30 ratio of smut to plot, but I don’t want to disregard the plot completely. Give me allll the angst and fluff and drama, please!
I have some ideas for said plot, but they’re very loose, and I would love to brainstorm together and come up with something we’re both excited about. Ideally something post-BOTW, but I’m open to almost anything! I can write for either character, but have a bit more experience writing as Sidon. No strong preferences though, I’m happy to roll with whatever.
And speaking of being open to things 👀 when it comes to the smut part, some kinks I enjoy and would not be opposed to incorporate are:
D/S themes (preferably dom Sidon and sub Link)
Size kink
Praise kink
Mpreg/oviposition/breeding
A/B/O
Sidon being, uhm, doubly endowed
Idk man just the very specific scenario of normally sunny, happy, proper Sidon holding back from going all feral when he’s horny because he’s worried he might get too rough w/ Link and Link just sitting there like “joke’s on you, I’m into that.” I want that twink obliterated.
Let’s be pals ooc, send each other moodboards and memes and cool art, yk? (And also be thirsty bitches together lmao.) I use Discord exclusively, and I’m semi-lit to advanced lit, with an average length of about 2 – 4 paragraphs, though I can absolutely write more than that if required and if I have enough to work with. Overall, I’m pretty chill and very patient, so no worries if you are inactive for a few days, weeks or even months. You could not reply for a full year and I would probably still be up for continuing our rp. That being said, I do have ADHD and am unmedicated, so if I randomly disappear, please reach out again, I promise I didn’t intend to ghost you, my brain gremlins just took over.
If after all this barely coherent rambling you’re still interested, please like this and I’ll reach out to you!
Leave a like, and anon will get back to you!
#breath of the wild roleplay#breath of the wild rp#fandom roleplay#fandom rp#cc x cc#hot#omegaverse for ts
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(im in my mid twenties but this is a little tmi and embarrassing so I dont want it linked to my account)
So. I have slightly uneven boobs, no big deal some people do. I've always been slightly insecure and a guy once said "its just a handful but thats ok" and then next sentence make comments about how they aren't even and how I must pad my bra (bro hadn't even taken my bra off and I was like ok we're done).
My best friend got her nipples pierced and I told her I dont think I could because my nippers aren't pronounced all the time like hers. I showed her snd she only said "oh weird I thought everyone had nips like mine". We went on no big deal. I have thought about it since, cause I never thought someone's nipples were out when not hard? And like her nips weren't hard they became more pronounced after they were hard if that makes sense?? I was just like yeah I doubt I could get those piercings and moved on but I realized ok we dont all have the same nipples (I never really thought about it before)
Started kissing a guy recently. We hadn't really gotten into it, but he moved my top (i had on one of those tops with a bra built in cause if I can avoid a bra I will). He stopped and then legit made fun of my boobs. Because my nipples were flat? Like imagine a barbie, just round chest area no nipple. It isnt inverted you can see it. Its just...flat? If im cold or aroused my nip gets hard? Which is normal?? But i guess I am not normal?? Anyways this guy said a ton of shit, even offering to get me a boob job and a bbl?
Anyways this guy really fucked with my confidence and I was just like ok I either need to know if this is normal or not. My chest.. Or like, do all guys act like this cause the only other time a guy has seen me without a top we were definitely aroused and no comments were made. Like, I feel like a guy making fun of the person he's about to hook up with is in bad taste. I feel most guys wouldn't, at least the fictional characters I like wouldn't, but is this like a normal thing guys do or is he just a dick cause this is the second guy who has made comments so
Okay first of all men literally ain’t shit.
I know your friend didn’t mean any harm by those comments she made but that’s still a bummy thing to hear.
I HAVE UNEVEN BOOBS
And my nipples are never out unless I’m cold. They don’t get hard when I’m aroused either so they’re usually just like in that “soft puffy” state.
No two boobs are 100% symmetrical unless they’re “fake” I’m pretty sure so having uneven boobs is soooo normal I promise.
My left boob has always been bigger than my right. When I gained a bunch of weight it was still noticeable, and even now that I’ve lost all the weight cause of my meds, my boobs are still uneven!
They’re also no longer firm or perky because of this so thems bitches are a little saggy, and honestly I’ve never had someone say such off handed comments about them. My nipples literally basically point downward to the floor.
I have a short torso and a big ribcage so although my boobs are DD’s they look 10x bigger because I don’t have enough chest/torso space to even it out so they look extra massive and I hate it! It doesn’t help that I’m short either so I’m just this small bitch with big titties and I’m like pls I just wanted like a full B cup. BUT I WORK WITH WHAT I GOT.
Some people have two different sized boobs and one will be an entire cup size different!
AND A HANDFUL OF TIT IS STILL TIT SO THE MEN YOURE HANGING OUT WITH ARE JUST FUCKING TRASH.
(Like if u have a nipple, I’m putting it in my mouth I don’t care what size titties u got)
I’m pretty insecure about my boobs as well! But the way I’ve had sexual partners react to them has definitely helped because most men don’t care.
Idk where I intended on going with all of this but basically long story short, is that you don’t have to be insecure about them! Or feel SO insecure about them? We all have insecurities and stuff we don’t love about ourselves but everything about us makes us exactly that. US.
I’m sorry you’ve had people make comments like that, that’s a shitty thing to hear.
Here’s a picture of me where you can see the size difference to hopefully make u feel a little bit better.
I GOT SAGGY TITTIES AND A FLAT ASS BUT IM STILL OUT HERE GETTING BITCHES
(I yell into the void as if I’m actually getting bitches)
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ty to @tigertofu for the tag <3 dont have many friends on here yet but i'll tag the people that i can think of off the top of my head, @rreskk @chloe12801 @heisentwerk
Were you named after anyone?
not as far as I can tell. my mom likes to say im named after julius caesar but i think shes lying
Do you have kids?
no and have noooo interest it is simply not for me i think
Use sarcasm a lot?
yes, less so on the internet but irl i do a LOT
First thing you notice 'bout people?
it's hard to pick out one thing because i often interpret the totality of a person (like their vibe ig?) before i focus on any details. this is not to say that i dont focus on details i absolutely do but that's often long after i've determined the person has an interesting vibe based off their outfit/the way they carry themselves/etc
Eye color?
hazel. i think? like a light brown with greenish bits in the central heterochromia zone
Scary movies or happy ending?
hard to say tbh! I like a neat ending (not necessarily a happy one) and both scary movies and 'happy ending' movies tend to have neat endings (or at least neat enough to set-up for a sequel LOL). I like both, it all kinda depends on my mood
Special talent?
oh i struggle so hard with this question... like, i have several things i am moderately good at (writing, drawing, et cetera) but ive never been especially skilled or talented at a single thing like other people are. jack of all trades master of none that's the kinda bitch i am. also sidenote but i think talent isn't real. if it is real it describes nothing but someones desire to practice a given thing which then makes them good at it. nobodys born good at shit. prodigies are fake and they are all lying to u!!!!
Your hobbies?
lol. hobbies... what are those! no frfr i play video games write fanfic and once in a while when i have the energy to set up a workspace i like doing very hands-on sculptural art like papier mache and clay sculpture.
Any pets?
no i wish :( want a cat so bad but our aint shit landlord (who tbf is usually really fine and normal and chill so i guess there had to be ONE THING at least that sucked abt him) said no
Playing any sport?
LOL. no. fuck sports..... except i like watching basketball because those men are freaks of nature in the best way and i like to imagine in ancient times we'd have them do feats of strength like climbing up a very steep mountain face. i just love those lengthy boys. kevin durant especially is such an extruded guy every time he falls during a game (which as it turns out is way more often than i thought) im like okay this time his legs have to have snapped in half. and they dont! probably because he drinks his milk or w/e. takes him vitamines. wild shit. anyway yeah i dont do sports
How tall..?
5'7 last time i checked.... imo the perfect height. not too short not too tall but also not too medium. on the tall side of medium sized. love being this height.
Favourite subject in school?
hard to say bc it depended so much on the teacher but i loved most of my english classes and a good amount of my history classes. history is sooo girlypop to me like we're truly just sharing 100+ year old gossip like it's not nosy as fuuuuuck
Dream job:
i do not dream of labor but i think the ideal job for me is one that doesn't feel like it's sucking 100% of my soul out my mouth (will settle for like 30 to 50% soul sucking) and hopefully serves to help other people through creative expression (because i dont know how to do anything else LMAO). i basically have that job rn but it's still Hard and Annoying so i suppose nothing will ever b perfect
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More angsty S1 YasMoon because they're so!!! THEY'RE SO!!! They're so important to me, you don't understand. I've made them both such rich inner worlds that only exist in my mind but by GOD if I'm not Unwell about the complex, nuanced, and BRUTALLY flawed versions of them that live in my head rent-free ;_____;
Like I am gripped by how many things it re-contextualizes if Yas and Moon were hooking up in Season 1. Like that's why Moon so doggedly remained Yasmine's faithful, right-hand Evil Bitch, despite being a very good-natured person normally. That's why these girls were almost grinding in that one concert video Sam showed Amanda. And that's why their beach party confrontation had enough tension to fill an olympic-sized swimming pool. It was a damn breakup akajndslfkjl
Anyways, I'm hoping I can write some full-length one-shots that delve into this more, but I'm just imagining that during S1 and before, Moon was just...an absolutely hopeless pining mess. Like she did everything for Yasmine and went along with whatever she said in hopes that Yas would eventually love her the same...or at least love her openly. She knew Yas could be sweet and giving in private, but she wanted more than anything to be shown off and flaunted like something to be proud of (part of why she eventually ditched Yas for Hawk! Although he went way too far in the other direction to the point of like. Treating her more like a coolness prize than a person ^^;). Yasmine only ever treated her softly and gently when no one else was looking, and it killed Moon. She hated always feeling like a side piece and an afterthought, and still only ever getting dismissively called "a friend." Or sometimes just a lackey, even if Yasmine wouldn't say it directly. I think finally standing up to Yasmine was just as much about wanting better for herself as well as all the people Yasmine bullied.
Like the way she seems guilty about cutting Sam off and horrified to see Kyler mocking her in front of the entire cafeteria implies she's not really comfortable with all the awful stuff Yas does. And like sure, she could stick with Yasmine out of platonic loyalty or to have a popularity safety net, BUT. Being a Yasmine simp would explain just how much she's willing to tolerate before she kicks Yas to the curb XD And hey, she's canonically got a thing for mean, aggressive people, does she not???
Anyways tl;dr poor Season 1 Moon </3 Girl was in love with Yasmine and I WILL die on that hill. Would explain why she was super high and out of it for a lot of S1, too. Girl was coping (er...not healthily) with her gf a) not admitting she was her gf and b) not cherishing her like she secretly wanted </3 Yasmine fr pushes her lesbianism so far down it may as well collide with the earth's core at this point.
In my heart she accepts it and owns it at some point in the distant future, bless iashluybkh
Big, big fan of that locket on the bottom right, btw. Headcanon Yas gifted it to Moon during S1, but was like "if you ever wear this, you CANNOT tell people I gave it to you lest they think we're... g a y" ;______; Like that's not even the first conclusion people would probably come to anyways, but poor Yas is so paranoid about people suspecting she isn't straight that she feels like she has to shut down anything that could possibly point to that D: Also dying on my hill that she has a more difficult relationship with her parents than she lets on and they're either subtly or openly homophobic, which is why she represses her sexuality so adamantly
As always, pic credits available upon request!
#yasmoon#yasmine x moon#moon x yasmine#aesthetic#moodboard#yasmine cobra kai#moon cobra kai#cobra kai#cobra kai season 1
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Bloody Ann: Chapter 1
(CW: Violence, Vore, Smut)
There wasn't much that made Victoria Rayne special at first glance. On a first look, you would notice a woman that looks in her late twenties, with a short black hair that was cut straight just as it reached the middle of her neck, and icy cold blue and baggy eyes hidden behind round glasses. The glasses were an unfortunate result of her relentless work screwing her eyesight a bit. The baggy eyes were also a result of her extensive work.
Her work being what made her special: the management of the lives of almost seven billion human beings.
Victoria was known, by most, simply as "The Director". The title had been held for three generations by the head of the Rayne Conglomerate. Victoria, as a 28 year old, was currently the youngest among the Directors.
She was many things for many people. For some, she was the face of the despotic corporation that convinced the world's government's seventy years ago to shrink the entire population of Earth to prevent global environmental collapse. For others, she was a young woman heroically taking upon herself the herculean task of attempting to fix all of humanity's mistakes.
For me, she was simply my boss.
I am the person currently occupying the prized "Assistant to the Global Director" position in the Rayne Conglomerate. Don't get distracted by the lofty name, I'm mostly a personal secretary. I pass calls to Victoria, manage her schedule, assist in different ways in the administration of humanity, and counsel her in personal matters.
I'm also, like most humans, about three inches tall. Which is also why the position of "Assistant to the Global Director" was commonly referred to as the "Desk Pet".
The derogatory doesn't mean anything to me. I know my worth to Victoria. I know my work here is indispensable.
So when she stopped typing on her computer, took a long sigh, and I felt those cold eyes looming over me, I almost instinctively knew she needed my advice.
"Beth, we have a fucking problem" she said.
"What is it, Director?" I asked.
"City 43 is rioting again" Victoria said.
That would make for City 43's fifth riot this year.
"Have we not sent enforcers already, Director?"
Victoria took her phone out of her pocket and showed me the gruesome spectacle that had been made out of the enforcers we had sent.
"They… have gotten somewhat creative to say the least, Director" was my response.
"Creative? Please Beth, people have been putting heads on spikes since the dawn civilization. They've gotten brave." Said Victoria.
"What has the Regional Administrator said about the situation, Director?" I asked.
"Lydia? I don't care. She's fired. I've sent the order nowright now" she said.
I repressed a shudder. Besides the members of the Rayne family, Regional Administrators were the only people allowed to remain their normal sizes in this world. The fact that Lydia had been fired meant that she was going to become small once again… and probably would be thrown to the rioters, who no doubt will kill her on sight.
“Who’s replacing Lydia, Director?” I asked.
Victoria sighed. “There is no one capable of dealing with so many rebellious tinies amongst the members of the Administration ''she said. “No one… except for her”
Her. The way the Director said it… there was only one person she could be referring to.
“B-but Director, Anastasia’s intervention here would probably turn the riots in a full blown rebellion!”
“I know” she snapped back. “She’s… well, she has her issues” That was a way to say it alright. Director Victoria was known by many nicknames: Director, D-V, Big Vicky… do you know how the people referred to Anastasia?
Bloody Ann. Crazy Ann. The Bitch Queen. She didn’t inspire confidence in the population to say the least. Anastasia was, among the Administrators, the person who held the record of both highest public order among the cities she took care of… and highest personal kill count.
She was ruthless. Anastasia was known for enforcing order personally. She would rampage through city blocks, crush protesters, eat supplicants alive, and she would do all that with the world’s most annoying shit eating grin.
Of course, many among the Administration disliked her. Some even called for her to be punished on charges of abuse and for being an obvious sadist. However, there was nothing they could do. Anastasia’s full name, after all, was Anastasia Frederica Rayne, not only a member of the Rayne clan, but the Director’s younger sister.
“I know Anastasia has her issues” The Director continued “So that is why I will have someone checking up on her… to prevent her from going all-in you know…”
“Director, besides yourself, who in this universe can keep her in check?” I asked.
“That would be you Beth” She answered.
My heart sank. The Director was about to send ME to keep that monster in check?
“Look Beth, I know you don’t like my sister. I know for a fact that you’re even scared of her” She was absolutely right, only thinking about the things Crazy Ann could do to me if got angry had already made me sweat “but my work here is too important to put on hold for my sister and you're my most trusted underling and you’re going under my protection, she won’t do anything to you. For all her faults, she loves me”
That… was true, but not as reassuring as the Director thought it might have felt for me.
“When am I leaving for City 43, Director?” I said, swallowing my doubt to perform my duties to Victoria as I always do.
“Tomorrow” she said.
We continued working for the day. She even pat me a few times with her finger, as a way to encourage me I think. And yes, I appreciate every bit of affection I could get from the director.
When our workday ended, she accompanied me to my dorms. She told me to gather my things and to prepare for tomorrows flight, once again reassuring me that Anastasia was harmless to me.
Still, once the director left and I could enter into my room in the apartment complex for Administration workers Victoria had in her manor, I went straight to my bed, burried my face into a pillow, and screamed my lungs out.
----------
“So you’re my sister’s Desk Pet huh?” Said Anastasia.
I had mentioned that the derogative didn’t bother me… from my fellow tinies. From the mouth of Anastasia, it felt almost humiliating.
My flight had landed right outside Anastasia’s HQ on City 43. She had arrived just hours earlier, via the normal sized helipad on the roof, while I had taken the smaller one, right outside her office.
She had taken the liberty to come to me. Most Administrators wait for their small sized workers sitting in their own desks. They made you come to them. Anastasia’s gesture was unexpected. There was eagerness in her every being.
Anastasia was almost identical to the Director: the same height and body type, the same pale skin tone, and the same pale blue baggy eyes. But Anastasia wore no glasses, and instead of the elegant suits the Director fancied, she seemed to prefer casual clothes. Right now, she was wearing only a black hoodie with jeans.
The other most prominent aspect of her was that her hair was dyed pale blue, to match her eyes. And that she kept her nails sharp and long.
I ignored her taunting.
“I am Elizabeth Williams, Assistant to the Global Director, my lady” I said, introducing myself.
Anastasia dropped to her knees so suddenly it made the ground shake all around me. I almost fell. She was now looming directly over me and uncomfortably close.
“I see why my sister seems to like you so much, Lilibeth” she said. Oh god, I could smell her breath… cinnamon, it was almost sweet and intoxicating.
“I-I don’t know what you mean, my la-” I tried to say, but Anastasia snatched me off the helipad with her hand.
I went flying in the air. Believe no matter how much time you spend working with normal sized people you will NEVER get used to being handheld. It's like a wall of flesh surrounds your entire body with a force that you know at any moment might end you right there. And God, these giants never take into account the motion sickness of some of us… I almost puked.
And almost did, if not for the fact that I became immediately distracted by the fact that Anastasia was… playing with me in her hand.
Her fingers grabbed me everywhere… turned me around, measured me… it was humiliating. What the hell was she doing? Couldn’t we just get to work already managing these blasted riots so that I can go back to Victoria?
“Hmmm” She said “You seem stressed little one”.
“I-I-I…” I tried to say, but the words didn’t come out of my mouth.
“Lucky for you, your new owner knows a few little tricks to get tinies in top condition ASAP”.
The next thing was indescribable… I felt something warm, hot and wet in my back. I became aware of the same intoxicating cinnamon smell from before. Was this her tongue? Oh God, was Anastasia LICKING ME?
I tried to protest, but a finger came down, burying my head in her hand. “Ah-ah” she said “Let mommy finish her work here first, little one?”.
Mommy? What kind of-
Oh.
Oh it felt so good.
Was it the sweet cinnamon smell or the fact that this weird massage of hers was actually working? I didn’t care. My God it felt amazing. Anastasia’s tongue got everywhere, pressing me harder and harder against her hand. I was being crushed softly between two warm and comfy surfaces: her tongue and hand.
It didn’t matter how the hell she did it but somehow Anastasia was managing to remove, lick by lick, every ounce of stress I was carrying from the trip. My shoulders relaxed and my spine popped a few times, releasing tension with every little crack.
I didn’t even realize that I had left her hand. Where was I? It reeked of cinnamon here…
I was in her mouth.
I immediately began to panic but I was shuffled under her tongue in seconds. There, in the warm, soft cave I was sitting in… my problems melted away.
This bitch had something magical going on with her tongue.
For how long was I there?. How much time did I spend chilling inside her? Why did it feel so good?
I was about to fall asleep when I saw light piercing in the cave and Anastasia’s tongue picking me up. All I heard was an exaggerated “Bleh!” as she gently let me drop from her mouth and over the desk. I was laying on some sort of expensive, varnished wood and in a poodle of saliva.
“How’re you feeling now Lilibeth?”, Anastasia said directly above me.
“I-it was wonderful… why?” I asked.
“I like giving my new pets a warm welcome” She said “You can get a lot of things from putting a tiny in your mouth you know?”
“L-like what?”
“I know you're twenty nine years old, which funnily enough makes you my elder by six years. I know you served my sister as assistant since she became Director some five years ago. I know you’re fiercely loyal to the Rayne clan, and I know you dislike me”
“You… you got all that from my taste?” I said, astonished.
“Well, that and the fact that I read your file, silly” Anastasia said.
That was on me.
“Buuut” she continued “I'm not the big, bad monster tinies say I am… I simply impose order, as it’s my duty as administrator and as a Rayne. It’s not my fault I chose the most effective methods there are”
Those methods being killing dissenters directly, by the way.
“I hope you see I would never harm you. Loyal pets like you are hard to come by… for you I want to be just a source of enjoyment and pleasure, besides your hierarchical superior”
“Im… flattered, my la-”
“Just call me Ann” she interrupted.
“I'm flattered, Ann” I said.
“Now, here, clean yourself out while I enjoy dinner” she said, lowering me a tiny sized towel.
Immediately after that, a drone came in with a silver tray. As I was taking Ann’s saliva off me, I started to hear screaming. Screaming from the tray.
Ann was looking down at it with hungry, bloodlust filled eyes. Oh my God… the tray was full of…
“So little ones, you may be wondering why you are gathered here” Ann said. “You have all been, by all accounts, guilty of terrible crimes. I read your files. I have in front of me rapists, murderers, violent thieves, psychos of all kind, dear citizens of City 43”
I just noticed there was a camera on the drone. Was she broadcasting this right now?
“Know that little Lydia may have been a bit lenient with you. I will not” Ann said. “Under my Administration, these crimes will not be tolerated” The screams coming from the tray were getting louder, and more desperate.
“As you may know, we’re still dealing with the Great Collapse of 2045. Most of our food is grown here, locally, with the precious resources we had to shrink humanity to enjoy” Ann said. “Don’t you think that by committing such heinous crimes you're disrespecting that sacrifice? Don’t you think that these rabble are nothing but a waste of our scarce resources?”
I had to agree, but I didn’t like where this was going.
“Under my rule, no single cell of biomass will be wasted” She said “so for now on, the punishment for such crimes will be the reclamation of every single one of those cells by me”
Ann picked a screaming prisoner by the foot. Her grip was so firm I heard bones cracking. She raised him, dangling a bit over her head. Dropping him unceremoniously in her mouth. The screams became muffled as soon as she closed her mouth, and became entirely silent when she began to chew.
A drop of blood fell from the corner of her lips, I became paralyzed immediately in this gory spectacle of hers.
“That concludes the life of just one of the fifty criminals on my plate. Tomorrow, I shall take the biomass of fifty more, until death row is clean”
If she continued to eat all of those people on screen or not I did not know. When she was eating the third, I passed out.
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Hey Vox! Werewolf anon here and glad to hear you're doing good! Or maybe feeling spiteful? I saw your poll and I can't wrap my brain around people who still do top/bottom discourse. Maybe Yuuji needs to go on a marathon and top all three choices?
As for me, I'm glad to see Yuuji kicking ass. And he's definitely giving me the Ichigo vibe with all the convoluted family connections and power legacies lol. He's a human! He's a vessel! He's a cursed painting-ish? What's next???
And that tiny Gojou crumb we got. Seriously it's sad how even those few panels make me happy. Then I see Nanami's weapon being used and ugh my Nanami sadness hits again. Fuck you Gege for killing them. 😭
And ahhhhh you want some updates on my werewolf namesake situation. Well since the last time I mentioned my foray into monsterfucking porn to my non fandom friend, I've also told her about the existence of a/b/o which went as well as you might expect...as in total confusion. She didn't initially understand the link between a/b/o and werewolves but then I had to go full blown fanlore explanations of werewolf fanfics and the whole knotting business and omegaverse and yeahhhhh. I think I might have added to the confusion when I mentioned that it's still mostly a sandbox and each author can kinda pick and choose whatever the fuck parameters they want. Gods...I haven't even mentioned the mpreg yet. Pray for me.
As for the knot dildo...I did briefly look into the inflatable ones but I got a bit intimidated. I decided I didn't want to end up as a Buzzfeed headline by accidentally rupturing an organ or something so instead I researched non-inflatable ones. Because unlike the Bucky in your fics, I do not have a black hole as a body part. I eventually saw a mold I liked and ordered the smallest one JUST IN CASE and uh...
I think you've ruined me, Vox. Because I don't think I can go back to normal dildos anymore. Even this smaller one (Let's call it Steve kun. Pre-serum Steve kun) definitely hit a lot different and better lol. Am I possibly also maybe kinda sorta admitting I re-read your Stucky werewolf fic before I gave the new toy a test run? I mean...I'm certainly not denying it. 😉
I think I'm going to try the next size up. I can name that one Rogers san, like a post serum Steve. Then maybe try the next bigger size and call it Nomad sama? Just keep ranking my knotted dildos based on the Steve Rogers DILF scale but adding Japanese honorifics because I'm unhinged.
Hopefully this wasn't TMI for you. If it was, you can just delete this ask lol. But I get the feeling you'd be cackling over one of your readers using your fics as sex toy shopping/orgasm inspiration. Thank you for writing and please keep feeding us the good stuff. 🤎
Tbh, I’ve been running on spite in this fandom since I posted the first chapter of little lamb to the slaughter and received a comment within 24 hours bitching about top!Yuuji. The spite levels keep rising because people keep clowning. I, too, would like to know why we have top–bottom discourse in the year of our lord 2024. But it’s fine, spite just makes me more productive! And don’t tempt me—I’d actually scrapped an idea featuring Yuuji topping ten men in a continuous narrative, and shit like this makes me want to revive it.
Yuuji’s family tree continues to fascinate me. I’ve been heart-eyed about the whole thing ever since Kenjaku was revealed to be his mum, but the new reveal about Jin and Sukuna has got me howling. Then they added the part about the finger being sealed in him at birth. No wonder Kenjaku sounded so fascinated with Yuuji at Shibuya—sure wish they lived to see what he’ll become.
I’m with you on licking up the Gojou crumbs 🤝
The Nanami crumbs too—still not over Yuuji thinking of him when Higuruma died.
You’re opening your friend’s third eye with a knotted crowbar. I approve! I’m also laughing my ass off. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED ON THE MPREG. That’ll be fun, especially on the heels of “here’s a highly flexible alternative universe based on disproved wolf behavioral research.” I salute your commitment 🤣
And first things first, no worries about TMI. This—
But I get the feeling you'd be cackling over one of your readers using your fics as sex toy shopping/orgasm inspiration.
—is 100% accurate. I’d print this ask out and put it on my wall if it wouldn’t lead to some…fascinating questions. (Okay, in all fairness, anyone I’d invite to my place wouldn’t even bat an eye, but the landlord is another story.) Anyway, if I’d like to call anything my life’s work, it’s all the porn I write, and getting people off is itself an achievement. Throw in you finding a sexual revelation or ten via knotted dildos (gleeful that the werewolf fic wormed its way into the equation btw), and I’m over the fucking moon about it. I can die happy now.
“Steve-kun” made me lose it, and the progressive naming scheme you’ve proposed made me put down the phone and just laugh for a good few seconds. Enjoy your shopping and please don’t rupture anything!
Also, thanks to you, I’m considering “Blackhole Asshole” as a tag. God knows a bunch of what I’d write would warrant it. Plus, it rolls off the tongue!
Loved the update 💗
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Willow Johansson
Before I even entered the school students, along with teachers and faculty, were already giving me their faces of disgust and horror as I strolled through the courtyard. They were all whispering, thinking I was deaf to every word they said, but I heard all the insults and terrible names they were giving me. I wouldn't call these insults or terrible names bullets because they were for someone else, and not for me.
When I walked into the building the sound of the door being slammed shut echoed through the halls after every conversation abruptly died and every eye turned on me - adding to the ones outside that were shooting holes through the entrance's wall of windows. More whispers were created. I continued to smile and walk to my destination. And as I walked down the hall students started to pull out their phones to start recording me passing them by in a normal, swiftness movement. I heard many asking their friends if I was out of my mind or just bat shit crazy. I heard lots of morbid bitch and fucking freak making me push down the urge to turn to all of them and shout 'It takes one to know one you stupid whores!' - whores being a gender neutral word, of course
It was then, when I was halfway to my destination, that I stopped for a quick conversation.
"You're a monster!"
I turned to see Marcy and the rest of the McAfee Senior High School Horror and Terror Literature Club starring venomous daggers at me. This is the time I truly felt terrible for what I have done as I saw their faces still in mourning.
"Willow was our friend!" Marcy shouted at me, creating a pain in my chest that literally felt like a thousand knives stabbing my heart all at once. "She was your sister! Your own blood, twin sister! How could you do this to her, Jess?"
At that moment I finally understood that they didn't have any type of clue to what was going on or who I was. I just gave them a blank stare, forgetting my emotions. My eyes were hollow, my skin was whiter than snow, and my blood didn't run warm - my blood ran the same speed as chilled molasses through my veins with the same temperature as the norther winters; it ran fast enough to pump my heart, letting my brain remember how to walk and talk and how to feel misery and sorrow. My expression gave off the same vibration as a vengeful spirit - which I wasn't too far off from - and they just stood staring at me with frightened, child-like eyes.
They needed an answer, but I had no way to explain it all. So, I tried to be as honest as I could ever be. I opened my messenger bag, which was dangling off of my neck, and fished out Dreamcatcher (Stephen King, 2001) and handed it to Marcy:
"I finished the book this morning," I told her. "You were right, the prologue is much better than the rest of the story. I guess it was my love of getting to know Beaver, Pete and Duddits before they died that ruined it for me. You could say it was my main inspiration to come back."
She only stared at me with eyes that started to well up with heavy tears from the reddest eyes I have ever seen. She hesitated for a moment before taking the book from my pale hands. Her eyes swept the book's cover - a image of a forest covered in a titan size blanket of snow with a cabin standing alone in the middle and it was all in front of a pink, eerie sky - until she stared back at me confused, yet not ignorant to who I am and what I was doing here.
"S.S.D.D. Am I right?" I then continued to my destination feeling their eyes - especially Marcy's heavy ones - on my back.
She's my best friend.
She will never stab me in the back.
I passed more teachers and faculty who don't say a word to me but silence speaks volumes of another type of disturbance you don't just get in the small town of Needless Haven. Even Principal Jefferson took a look at me but before he has anything to scowl me on, I shoot him a hollow stare which leaves him only to look in horror before speed walking back to the main office far away from me.
I walk up a flight of stairs and thirty seconds later I am at my destination: Room 264 in the English Department. The door is already opened as if he knew I was coming, but he didn't have a damn idea about anything. I stand still at the entrance; his back is turned from me as his eyes are on his assigned school computer at his desk. That day he wore an ocean blue long sleeve cotton shirt and black jeans with a pair of plain white high top converse and had his chestnut hair tied in a long ponytail. He was typing away on his computer God know what - I didn't come that day to know - never knowing I was right behind him. After a sip of his coffee from his cream colored yeti mug, I decided I was impatient.
"Hey there, Mr. Roberts."
He spun around in his office chair and what was supposed to be a genuine smile for every student quickly turned to supernatural terror in his blue eyes after taking a look at me, as if he saw a ghost.
"Jess!" he said to me. "What are you wearing?"
"I didn't answer him after seeing his clean face. "You shaved." He once had a bush beard growing out of his chin and ending right at his chest.
"Yeah. I took your advice you told me last night. I thought you would like it."
"It's nice."
"But what the hell are you doing?" Why are you dressed up like... Willow. You even dyed your hair red?"
"What do you mean? This is how I always dress (a white long sleeved dress shirt with the collar up on my neck, light blue jeans with tiny holes scattered, and boots my grandmother bought for me with the outline of a rose she stitched on; I dyed my hair three months before and it started to fade out during this time to a light pink). Do you not like it anymore?"
"What are you trying to pull. Are you trying to turn me on by role playing. Dressing up like your dead sister?"
"If I wanted to do that," I walked towards him and took a seat on his desk. "I would bleach my hair and dress like a whore."
"What do you mean?"
"Let me show you a picture, Mr. Roberts."
I pulled out the phone from my pants pocket and went straight to the camera roll. It was easy to find the picture I was looking for because it was just an hour old and at the very bottom. I made the picture big and showed it to Mr. Robert whose face grew more whiter as if he also just came back to life.
The picture I showed had my twin sister, Jess, drowning in a flood of her sweet iron blood which stained the baby blue sheets of her mattress. It flowed out of the veins of her neck which I let flow freely after separating her head from her shoulders - decapitation to make it more obvious - with the help of my father's hunting knife that had more uses other than taking a injured doe out of her misery. I placed her head on the baby blue covered pillows against the hard wooden frame above the rest of her body which still lay in her violet velvet pajamas on the blood stained sheets to make it look somewhat like she's still sleeping peacefully. Her eyes looked straight into the camera - they still twitched when I was taking the picture. I thought I would do something beautiful and majestic than what she did to me.
Mr. Roberts looked back at me with eyes full of deadly fear, taking in a big gulp of his saliva. He hesitated before saying my name:
"Willow?"
"I felt the smile keep growing past its limit on my face. I put the phone down, grabbed a hold of my shirt above my chest, and ripped the buttons off to reveal what he already saw before: my naked chest with the deepest wounds into my heart now rotting from being in the ground for a whole thirty days that were patched up with dead worms. The wounds were dried with blood and Mr. Roberts looked straight into them - into the bottomless pits.
While Mr. Roberts stared, frozen in fear, I slowly got my father's hunting knife from my messenger bag - it was still wearing Jess's blood. He was stunned and intoxicated in fear. He stood motionless. To make him feel as if I really was my sister, I stood over his private area, disappointed but not surprised to see he wasn't firm, and raised the knife over my head. I thought I heard a plea, but it faded after I forced the blade down into his neck. He screamed like a little girl as I took it out letting blood squirt out everywhere on the desk and on both of us. I stabbed and stabbed him over and over again, forgetting how many times it took to finally take what was left of his pitiful life.
I was then taken back to the horrible memory of Jess chasing me through what was once our home with the hunting knife after I threaten to tell our parents about her and Mr. Roberts which, of course, she didn't like at all. It was then I escaped but making her trip on a dinning room chair I threw to the ground giving me enough time to run out into our backyard where I mindlessly headed for the neighborly trees that I went in many time alone. But as I ran through the trees I finally realized that I was lost. It must've been the fear that made me forget where I was as I ran breathlessly deeper. Then Jess screamed my name which didn't help my anxiety. I stupidly hid behind a tree and a few moments of hiding I thought I was safe. But Jess found me and shoved the blade into my chest. At the moment I lost my ability to scream as I fell to the dirt with my hand over the wound that flowed out a waterfall of blood. As I laid on the soil everything around me seemed to fade away with sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. Jess's faded voice berated me about how I should have let it all go before the faded image of her getting on top of me set in place. I lost the times she shoved the blade into my chest and through my heart. I felt the blood rushing out of me numbly and soaking into the soil making me grow cold. She finally ended her torture after someone - Mr. Roberts - pushed her off of me and told her that was enough. The last thing I saw before everything went black was the faded image of his face as he softly muffled "I'm sorry it had to be this way, Willow."
It felt like five minutes when I made the deal with the Grim Reaper and dug myself out muddy ground one dark and stormy day with rotten flesh wounds and blood stained clothing.
The memory kept rewinding in my head over and over again as I continued to stab everything I could get the blade into on his body. It raised the rage in me, making me move faster with more force as it went softly through his flesh and muscle and breaking through his bones.
To end this story in a summary, I kept stabbing him in the neck, even though I knew he was dead, until Natalie Gibson saw and set out a scream that echoed through the whole school. Blood rush got to me and I started to chase her through the halls without thinking about what I was doing. I managed to catch up to her, because the rising is quicker than the living, and tacked her to the tiled floor. As she pleaded for her life I raised the knife over my head again. But I didn't have time to get a single scratch on her face after Deputy Ross put a bullet through my head. My body was a corpse once again as it fell on Natalie which she pushed off letting out a blood curling scream while wearing my blood on her ebony blood on her face. And as the grim reaper too me again, a nearby teacher took Natalie in her arms and took her to the nurse t get her cleaned up.
This is my story of my sweet, blood revenge.
- Willow Johansson (2007-20023/2023-2023)
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I WANT ELLI0T PG 2 PURSU3 MOI BOTTOM HALF CUZ MOI DAD DIED
SUUUPPPPPppPPpppPPPP H0MEZZ n THEYZ N ITZ N HE HIMZ.. dissh week has been SPRING BREAK n it GOTzz meh missin vanessa hudgenzz N moi 12 YR OLD SPIRAL / ADDICTION when Her sMHExyy nudes got l33ked . but als0 that era cuz obvvv. i DO NOT mean 2 sound lik a pervert butt my best fwend defzz has been dressin ALOT lik minni3 m0use but the sexy version w n0 gloves n no bra no panties n Holes EXposed. ... . . .
i luv having SHARED SOCIAL ANXIETY b4 a bday partyyyY so we all sit on thA Stoop A Block away from the actual club venuee the bdAY partyzz at n do K n contemplate the nxt step /nxtt club hOp n blah blah blah wee wanna avoid takin a car w some randozz at tha other 1 cuz meh. SHARED SOCIAL ANXIETY... WE R ALL CONNECTED IN THE URETHA OF A UNIVERSAL VAGINA MONOLOGUE ... speaking of Daatttt i LUV POETRY READINGZZ at my grASSy KNOLL w sexy weed tht i KANT smoke cuz thts GONNA GIBB MEH AN ANXIETY ATTACK but dere is DEFZZ sum sexy moss from KATE MOSS QUEEN.. n being fahsionablyy l8 to it cuz u were lowkeY maybE highkey having sex for the 5th time in a row in just a day . I LOVE RICE WITH PIGEON PEAZ. N SPAM. ;D
iyam running out of KEWPIE MAYONAOUSE n i am ALSO running out of moi h0use in the name of FAMILY N FRIENDSHIP N COMMUNITYYyyy JUST 2 Make Sure I show support down tha bl0ck to moi fwenddd speakin at purgatory n when i runningg up tha stairs they hear moi runningg up tha stairss in moi platformzz n tell every1 on stage they hear meh by my loud big shoes cuz moi shoes r as big as the size of moi COCK 8=D . n i unintentionally meet someone moi partner asked out on a date twice n got NO both of those timez.. ;]
my TOes n neck n back crack every hour N I dink it meanzz im lik anemic and also hot n sexy cuzz i DOLLZKILLL COMMENTED ON MOI IG PIC OF MEH GOIN VROOM VROOM IN A SHMEXY RED N BLACK [MOI COLORZZ] UBER OMWW 2 A LEASING OFFICE MGMTT COMPANY IN BK WHEERE A HATIAN WOMAN SLUT SHAMED MEH 4 WEARIN LEGGINGS AS A SHIRT N MY NIPPLE PIERCING NIPPLES WERE EXPOSEDDD. but DOLLZKILL WERE LYKEE ASKIN FOR MEH TO PICK THEM UP . LIKE OMFGGGGG.. . .. ask meh 2 ModEL for u IN CALI OR SOMETHING SO I KAN FINALLY B FAMOUS N LIVE OUT MOI 10TH HOUSE FAME N POWER N INFLUENCEEEEEEEE.
i luv GOIN ALL DA WAY TO STATEN ISLAND 2 C INDONESIAN BAND PLAY DRUMZ WITH SWISS CHEEZE SYMBALSS. ;] dating a pisces is cray cuz they cRY rite when they wake up n rite after sexx n rite when u mak them coffee in da morningzz cuz they r BBYZZZZZZZ ;D
gODDDD I RLY WANNA TRAVEL ALREADYY N MAKE UP MOI MIND AB MOI CAREERR CUZZ honestly GETTIN BANNED OFF LEX TWO DAYZZ AGO WUZ KINDA THA PEAK OF MOI EXISTENCE . I Hav nVr gotten bANNED b4 but i mean tha last 2-3 reports i had on mOI account were COMPLetely normal in moi opinion i dink it defzz just wuz lik a miscommunication ab mEH wanting to throw handzz n fight this stupid bitch from henrietta hudson , explaining dat i YAM da plug with a sweet potato yam emoji , n als0 wanting 2 start a support group kalled TboyHorsedicktrauma support group 101 . iDK why ppl think im such a threat. i just look mean but im uwu BABY AF...
i luvv plannin 2 fuck at a public playground n then moi planzz fallin thru cus there 2 many KIDDOZZ out so i buy 8 dollarr cup of coffee then uber 2 moi best fwendzz rooftop to just hav seggs there in a slutty sailor outfit . ;] i THINK moi heart is also growing more n more for kuromi as i accumulate more n more thingzz of her now esp cuz i hav a baby wipe make up wipe case of HEr, more socks , a sweater hand made of her face via eyelits n safety pinzz n spikes n studzz n i actually realized i DO likee working in an office w 3 earth signs n a dog n 1 of those earth signs is also a life coach who also speaks ab body positivity [ always makes comments ab my 'petite frame and long legs'] but fat shames herself n shelly duvall n also spendzz alot of time investigating if ariana grande is actually anoreixicc. MUYYY INTERESANTEEEE N TRIGGERING LOL ;D
ITS ALMOST MERCURYRETROGRADE N I HOPE MY EX'S CUM BACK 2 MEH . WELL NOT AL LLL. just one that blocked meh in january thtt wusnt rly moi ex just a situationship that actually damaged my mental health a lot N HAD meh Convinecdd I HAD a p3RSONAality disorder but nO im just chariasmatic n LIke to feed into my partners keyboard typing fast kink.
I WISH I CULD FALL INTO A PUDDLE N NVR HAV TO GET UPP CUZ IM SO TIRED N SLEEPYY N BORED CUZ IM COMIN OFF OF A MDMA MOLLYYYYYYYY I SHULDNT HAV TAKEN I SHULD HAV KEPT CUZ IM SELLIN DEM N U DONT GET HI OFF UR OWN SUPPLY DATZ WHUT IT SAYS IN CRACK AMENDMENTZZ 101 ;[ i h8 being financially abused n then crying ab it while eating chiggen skewerzz n pad thai at klom klorm. i luv being a brat n also singing rly rly rly rly rly rly rly loud in my bedroom floor while making the bushwick version of goodnite moon w patchwork quilt fleece tht keeps faling aaprt actually cuz i didnt hav anymore glue sticks for the hot glu gun then it just rly all fell apart n it looked ugly n defz wuz not tha type of gift i wanted 2 giv out n also hav it b seen as something i believ kan be representative at all of moi as an artist or somethang. ;[
i stg if moi crushess dont get back 2 meh in a more timely mannner n actually wanna go on datez then ima hit up the trak teeam that came over the other week 2 Tylerz n ask them to take off their shirts for meh while they sweat in their david bowie clown make up n then talk ab giving each other orgiezz n accusing meh of being a lesbian which is not an accusation at AALLLLZZZZ.
im NOT CUNT AS MUCH AS I WANT 2 B CUZ IM INSECURE N SAD N KIND OF LIK THE EQUIVALENT TO A JELO GELATIN . BUT i luv u all n i need hugs cuz this mdma made meh throw up after seeing a musician at SOBS play the flute . im sad af but at least i took slutty pix in applebeezz N made a bonfire after asking strangerzz 4 they fire starter with puppydogeyezz n a pudding cup.!!:3
luv u
rennyxcx [ like charli but renny bc im obsessed n my hyperfixation on unlock it by charlixcx has been an autistic obsession the last 4 months also with soundcloud . DUH ]
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