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inkskinned · 3 months

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there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #this is so disorganized #i just saw that video and the comments made me want to vomit #it's actually like. in the way it's funny that you got into a car crash and got the flu within the same 24 hours #it's like.#it's funny #because certain people will blame everything on mental illness #even being transgender.#they will not #however #at any point - even vaguely suggest that a man should maybe get therapy.#like. a guy busting down a door isn't a danger-to-himself-and-others #(you just pushed him too far).#but a young adult looking for top surgery should be institutionalized for even wanting to change their body.

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p4nishers · 9 months

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he wants to be aziraphale's stay at home wife soooooo bad it's embarrassing for him

#this bitch could have long found an apartment for himself but i just KNOW he was abt to drop everything the moment az noticed he was living #in his car and asked him to move in #this is girlfailurism taken to an another level and i love it sm she's so fucking pathetic #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #go season 2

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boxedwinedean · 2 months

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in my spn canon sam had that arm cast in season 2 because he had a ladybird moment during an argument in the car with dean

#just saw a post like this but with cas. cas wouldnt have a ladybird moment. hed push dean out of the car not jump out himself #but still shoutout to @pussypopstiel for inspiring this stroke of genius within me #check out their posts. thyer cool #sam winchester #dean winchester #supernatural #spn

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whollyjoly · 19 days

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i just have a feeling / you're better off than you think you are

(song insp.)

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saionjeans · 22 days

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i love how during nanami’s drive she’s like “touga you gotta listen to me this guy is fucked up i just saw him performing some of the most horrifically unspeakable acts of violence” and akio is like [chuckling smugly] “hmmm….. what you saw….. yes, of course, a child’s mind is clouded by their limited perception….. and yet…. what you think you saw is merely an illusion…… due to solipsism.” and nanami doesn’t even pause to consider it, immediately she’s just like “what the fuck is this evil freak talking about.”

#u #nanami #akio #touga #he can’t trip her up with his fancy words she knows what she saw!!!!#that scene makes my gut churn so bad #like even worse than all the other car scenes #bc nanami is ACTIVELY trying to escape #and they KNOW it and they’re lording it over her????#the fact that they have all the power to control where she goes and how she lives her life #and when she rejects touga with everything she has #he still lets akio. um. ‘show her the end of the world.’#touga redemption arc but every time he remembers that evening he cringes so forcefully that he literally dies and now he’s dead because he #took too much psychic damage remembering his own actions.#like he’s also just really embarrassing himself here #trying to act like he’s in on some cosmic joke that nanami doesn’t have access to #NO!!!!!! YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL AND YOU ASSAULTED YOUR BABY SISTER. DIE.#anyway. i love you nanami i love you nanami i love you nanami i love you nanami

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earlgodwin · 3 months

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(If Cesare is dissatisfied that Micheletto isn't his brother instead of Juan) "Not exactly, because Cesare and Micheletto's relationship is more or less secret, hidden. They don't know too much about each other. Well, Micheletto has absolutely no grasp of what the rest of Cesare's life is, and Cesare is very respectful of Micheletto being so secretive about himself, and I don't think he really wants to know. It's not really a friendship, because there is an idea of hierarchy, but it's not master and slave, either. It's not boss and employee. It's something very complex. It's not equal, but there is a lot of trust. While with Juan, I think it all comes from a very deep place. His brother faces different struggles and is very naive, so Cesare pushes him by teaching him lessons. He also understands how hard it must be to do that, or at least he had good intentions towards him in the beginning, with some sort of really loving brotherly undertone under all of this hard teaching." — François Arnaud

#interesting! it seems like cesare is deliberately closing himself off after he killed juan when he could've had a friendship with micheletto #i also feel like micheletto was in love with him but he just knows he doesn't have a chance #actually i'm about to say something sooooooo unholy and unhinged i need to get locked up behind bars #don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say it don't say—#anyway micheletto fucking juan because that’s the closest he can get to ces[GUNSHOT] [CAR CRASH] [FLAT LINE]#wait what if i made a juan x micheletto gifset just for shits and giggles #also why was cesare having so much homoerotic tension with the both of them tears in my eyessss #cesare borgia #juan borgia #the borgias #theborgiasedit #perioddramaedit #tvgifs #tvarchive #cinemapix #smallscreensource #usereverything #micheletto corella #juan and cesare #by jen

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paunchsalazar · 2 months

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trying to divorce myself from personal bias here - I really think a Kyoya Ootori in 2024 would be openly gay and monetize it more than he already was….. with the numbers gays pull it’s simply the most logical choice

#and I think if his dad saw BL sales he would be like wow I love my gay son #also he went to college in the US….#clothes.. cars.. anywhere they go… already in the spotlight but I think multiplied if he + his friends are handsome + gay..#I don’t even think he’d personally sell himself more just use the intrigue to their advantage #ohshc #kyoya ootori #ouran

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ivebeenghosting · 2 years

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clark “bumbling reporter” kent, who is always so hyper aware of his body that his “clumsy” antics never put anyone in harms way vs. bruce wayne who hasnt slept in 4 days, falling asleep standing up, sending himself crashing into a tower of champagne glasses at a gala, making glass and alcohol fly every where ruining at least three peoples very expensive outfits (not to mention getting alcohol in his fresh stitches that are hidden under his clothes), fight

#bruce wayne #clark kent #batman #superman #superbat #perhaps presuperbat where clark knows batmans identity but bruce doesnt know supermans BUT clark thinks bruce does #maybe superman thinks bruce is putting himself purposely in harms way to get his attention and hes like WHATS HIS GAME IS HE TRYING TO TRICK #ME IN TO REVEALING MYSELF??#but bruce is just like i literally forgot cars were i thing i didnt mean to walk into the busy intersection

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ghouljams · 10 months

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Does fae!König get upset that Ghost and Love grew the baby that could have been his and liebling's? Does Love tell Liebling that Little Cabbage came from the thrown out seed? Canon or not, the baby is cute

I was already thinking about this. This is Liebling's nightmare scenario. Which means it's her POV.

You don't think you've ever seen Ghost enter the shop not looking like he's here for your immortal soul. Similarly you've never seen Love look so put together. You have also, and this is the most important part, never seen that baby before.

The little one asleep in the carrier strapped to Ghost's chest, a little pink scrunchy hat and hello kitty sunglasses on its tiny head as it snoozes. You're almost too distracted by the fact Ghost has the baby to notice Love's shirt proudly proclaiming in hot pink, "Baby Thief." Ghost grabs the back of her shirt collar before she can launch herself at you.

"Behave," He tells her in a firm voice, letting her go when she drops her arms from their grabbing position. "I'm going to talk to König, ask your question nicely."

"I'm always nice." Love tells him, Ghost hums like he doesn't believe her and wanders off further into the store. Love turns the full force of her attention on you.

"Who's baby?" You ask, eyeing her shirt.

"Mine." Somehow you don't believe her.

"You weren't pregnant. You would've told me." You remind her, gently as you can. She hums in the same tone Ghost did, nodding her head slightly.

"Funny story. You remember that weird seed you said you'd never plant in a million years because it could Audrey two your ass?" You nod, half listening as you watch König bend down to wiggle his fingers at the baby on Ghost's chest. You can see Ghost's mask moving, he must be saying something, his large hands holding up the baby's to point towards Love. "Well I figured I'd plant it since you didn't want it," No, not pointing at Love, at you, "and it grew a baby."

König's head snaps to look at you so fast you don't have time to process what Love just said before all your blood drains out through your feet. His eyes bore holes through you, cold fury radiating off of him almost visible in the way shadows seem to collect around his form. His limbs are all wrong, body wrong, eyes so red you think they might have invented to color. His teeth bare through his obscura. He takes a step towards you and you shove your hand in the small bowl of Iron rings on the counter faster than you can think. Unable to move and break his gaze, but at least able to make him think twice about coming after you right this second.

Ghost grabs König's arm, his grip as unflinching as the metal you slide onto your fingers, holding König steadfast as he speaks. Your breathing feels far too quick and uneven as you boyfriend takes a careful step back into his previous conversation(into his human form) and breaks your gaze. Love's grip on your arm comes into focus over the ringing in your ears, the tight warmth of her hand, you pull your attention back to her. The look of concern on her face is one you haven't seen before.

"I'm fine," You shrug off her hand. Your body too hot and too cold, darkness fuzzing the edges of your vision.

"Sit down," You sit heavy on your stool behind the counter, you hate when she does that, and shake off the tether she burned, "looked like you were about to faint. Listen I didn't come to give the kid back, she's-" Love looks over her shoulder at Ghost and the baby, you've never seen that look either, she shakes her head and looks back at you, "I came because I wanted to ask if you'd be her godmother."

"Is Ghost asking König to be godfather?" You ask, trying to process whatever the hell is happening in your life before you have a panic attack.

"God no," Love snorts, "Soap's the godfather." You have no idea who that is. "No, Simon's just showing off."

You both watch the specter of death lift the baby from her harness and snuggle her against the crook of his arm so König can see her. For all the softness, you can tell how watchful Ghost's eyes are, how closely Love watches as well. Almost on edge when König's fingers shake the baby's tiny hand. It makes you uneasy. What do they think he'll do? What were you afraid he'd do?

"Why are you asking me to be godmother?" You try to quiet your anxiety, bring Love's attention back to you. It works well enough.

"Because you're my friend?" She really only knows how to raise more questions in your life. You stare at her.

"We're friends?"

"Bitch." She snorts, you blink, not sure what's funny. She pulls out her phone and taps a few things with a shake of her head. When she turns it to face you it's your text conversation. "We text all the time every day, I come to hang out with you at least once a week, the fact that I can steal shit out of your house? Come on."

You're not sure what her sticky fingers have to do with your friendship, but she raises some valid points besides that.

"As long as you're not trying to give it back."

"Not on your life." Love grins, you do your best to smile back.

"Then sure, I'd love to be godmother." Well, maybe love is a strong word, but you're flattered and she's right you don't think you have a closer friend.

A tiny wail bounces through the store, Love's gaze snaps to Ghost where he's bouncing the baby. König has his hands up like he's afraid to touch it, or is attempting to maintain his innocence in the new tears. Ghost waves him off and makes his way back over to you and Love. Handing the fussy bundle to Love's waiting arms.

"Pourquoi pleures-tu mon petit chou?" She coos down at the baby, tucking it against her shoulder to bounce gently. You gotta admit it's a pretty cute little thing, still you're glad it's not yours. You grip your fist tightly, feeling the dig of metal against your palm as König hovers nearby.

"Wir werden später reden," He promises, low and dangerous, just for you to hear. You can feel his desire to touch you, held just at bay by the iron jewelry.

"I didn't know you spoke French," You smile at Love, anything to keep her around longer and delay the inevitable.

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luck-of-the-drawings · 3 days

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ANCIENT wip that i finally got around to splashin color onto. NO idea where this colorin style came from n it WONT happen again!! anyway i LOOOVE the general dynamic between arthur n emizel. both are so cool and so awesome and yet SO silly...

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #emizel tucker #WEEE art is so fun..FUCKED UP THO that when i posted this on TWITTER...#i wokeup today to like 9 new comments n i was SO HAPPY!! but then i realized they were all BOTS!!DISGUSTING MACHINES MADE BY DISGUSTING PPL #VILE!!anyway so. YES i scribbled this up back when the ep w this scene first came out. what ep was that?? like 2 or so??#GOOD STUFF i love this show so much... the thought of arthur tucking himself down into the back o the car so he wouldnt be seen..#hes so serious&stoic and he just does the funniest shit with the straightest face.ive said it amillion times but i LOVE ARTHURS DRY HUMOR..#I ALSo really love emizel bc AAAA!! THE WHOLE SCENE B4 THIS ONE w him just catching up with soda...#those two are so cute w eachother.... ouhhh....... they are bestieeeessssss #do u guys ever think abt void... where did she come from.. how did her n arthur become friends.....#okayokay i think thats all the ramblings i have in me. enjoy my creations and your day aswell. if you can

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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 07

The thing about Nicky knowing that FF knows Russian and therefore understands every single excruciatingly sweet, ear-reddingly spicy, or shockingly mundane thing that Andrew and Neil say to one another is that he is objectively the 3rd worst person to know this secret.

First place is, of course, Andrew Minyard the man who has now asked him about his family 3 times in the last week and a half. FF doesn’t really care if Andrew goes after the majority of his ‘family’ since it’s just his step brothers and step dad but Andrew might go after his Grandma too so he just says “We don’t talk” every time it comes up and deletes his entire chat history with his grandma that way Andrew won’t know how close they are. If that means that Andrew thinks that no one would look for him if he happened to disappear into a shallow grave FF doesn’t know. He’s already doomed so the least he can do is save his gran.

Second place is, of course, Captain Neil. Captain has mentioned quite a few times that a lot of people stay with friends or people they’re close with over Thanksgiving break. It’s meaner than Captain Neil usually would be off of the Court reminding FF that he has friends but none close enough who would want to spend a holiday with him. He plans to go see his Gran for Thanksgiving and she plans to feed him a truly ridiculous amount of food. It’s the same plan he’s had pretty much every year since he was 13.

Third place is Nicky Hemmick. Nicky is a very nice guy who got him a paperboy to hyperventilate into a couple times and would absolutely never intentionally OUT somebody and compromise their safety! Nicky’s talked with FF about some of his background so FF has full confidence that it’s never going to be something that Nicky intentionally outs to anyone. But there are two main reasons why Nicky is the third worst person to find out about this secret.

The first reason is that Nicky Hemmick just unabashedly loves gossip. FF has heard that with the graduation of the girls the previous year had gone Allison Reynolds who had multiple running bets on multiple teammates and a whole cache of gossip. Now Nicky has access to the ultimate accidental gossip magnet in the man who no one notices, who knows any language the Foxes speak and is too awkward to get up and leave when they start talking.

Nicky will never tell another soul his secret but he also HAS to know what Neil and Andrew are saying to one another and when Nicky lies to cover for him the charge is one free conversation translation.

He’s absolutely hooked on getting translations the since the first time he had asked what Andrew and Neil are hissing at one another one morning practice.

FF translated it awkwardly feeling like a creep and like he’s invading their privacy but Nicky had helped him eat the four slavic letter flashcards he had made up to help a friend study the language when Captain Neil and Andrew had come back early from a weekend alone in Columbia.

Nicky had even assured him afterwards that the ink was probably non-toxic and given him floss so he could get the flashcard wedged between his molars out.

So….

“Andrew’s mad that Captain Neil skipped breakfast because they’re working to make him eat something for every meal. Captain Neil’s mad because Andrew’s the one that kept him in bed so long that he didn’t have time to make anything.”

Nicky squeals in delight

The second reason, which is just compounded by the first, is the fact that Nicky had promised not to tell another Soul. However Nicky Hemmick, the romantic that he is, believes that he and his Fiancé Erik share one soul since they are soulmates. Therefore Nicky Hemmic had barely even registered FF’s tears of gratitude before he was calling Erik to tell him about FF.

The sheer number of close calls that have happened because Nicky HAS to tell Erik about something Andrew and Neil said to one another or something someone else is saying is the reason FF started getting ulcers.

Watching Nicky talk to Erik about him knowing Russian is like watching a member of the three stooges walk through a construction site blindfolded. FF nearly kills himself stopping Nicky from outing him numerous times and at the end Nicky’s smiling, unscathed and unaware of the sheer number of close calls he had sauntered through.

FF can’t wait to go home and bury his face in his grandma’s lap, stress eat two apple pies, and tell her about how he thinks he might just become an electrician or a plumber or an underwater welder because one of his language professors wants him to come and speak to a lower level class (a gen-ed with over a hundred people in it) about the usefulness of LATIN for all their majors since they can parse the meaning via root word and he had panicked and said ’Sure’.

***

The thing about being the only person on the team that knows that FF speaks Russian and is riddled with social anxiety is that it’s absolutely hilarious most of the time.

Every once in a while he has to step in to help the guy.

So sometimes he’ll eat flashcards. Sometimes he’ll distract his cousin with a salacious comment so FF can escape a dangerous conversation with his drunk friend. Sometimes he pushes FF to go talk to Abby about his tummy troubles. Sometimes he’ll hand over one of the brown paper bags he keeps in his backpack nowadays so FF can wheeze into it and sometimes he’ll assure his cousin that FF’s passing out after he offered to teach him how to use a knife was probably because of his stomach ulcers not because FF is terrified of Andrew stabbing him.

Nicky is the only member of the Foxes that FF regularly seeks out on his own to hang out with and Nicky just loves how hard Andrew and Neil are trying not to be jealous about it.

“I want to ask Smith if he wants to come spend Thanksgiving Break with us.” Andrew says out of the blue a week before the aforementioned break when it’s just Aaron, Neil, Nicky and himself in Nicky’s dorm room.

Nicky thinks about FF talking about going back to his hometown in Washington State and how he waxed poetic about spending Thanksgiving Break with his Grandma and how he was going to eat his weight in pie and Macaroni and Cheese.

“He’s planning on going and seeing his grandma. He won’t shut up about it.” Nicky says still glad that FF has a family member like his grandma.

Everyone else in the room look at him.

“He won’t shut up about it?” Aaron asks with an eyebrow raised. Aaron likes FF just fine and appreciates how FF has helped Katelyn start to grasp the fundamentals of the German language so quickly so she can understand what’s being said. “So what he said it twice?” He continues.

Nicky remembers FF’s ability for catastrophizing every conversation with the Foxes into one where it comes out that he speaks Russian and Andrew stabs him. As far as the other Foxes are concerned he’s a man of few words.

“He’s been talking about it all month. If I hear about his grandma’s apple pie recipe one more time I might demand he sneak a slice back for me through TSA.” Nicky loves stoking the flames, especially when the fire is harmless. He watches Aaron shrug and the skin around both Neil and Andrew’s mouths tightens. “You can ask him, the worst he can say is No.” Nicky shrugs.

Nicky is there when Andrew does ask him and he can see the prolonged internal scream of terror on the utterly blank face (or maybe he just imagines it.) and in a way Nicky is a little sad when FF shakes his head and says “No, I have plans with my Grandma.” In an utterly blank voice that means he has functionally blue-screened before turning and walking towards the nearest door so he can reboot in solitude.

“The offer stands if you change your mind.” Neil says and Nicky is impressed with the seemingly very casual thumbs up FF gives as he power walks away.

A little less than a week later Nicky finds Andrew next to FF and FF looking down at a cancelled flight notification after coming in from a truly monumental storm.

Andrew offers Thanksgiving in Columbia again.

Nicky tries to stop it from happening he can see that FF is a little lost in his disappointment over not being able to see his grandma and not thinking clearly but before he can snap him out of it.

“Sure.”

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242

#Fluent Freshman AU #Andrew internally: I was able to help out someone. Bee's gonna be proud.#FF: HE WAITED UNTIL I WAS AT MY WEAKEST TO ENSNARE ME. I'M GOING TO WAKE UP IN A REVERSE BEAR TRAP.#FF spends the next 12 hours watching Saw movies to prepare himself mentally on escaping from any and all torture devices #Nicky: Can't you just reschedule your flight?#FF: No it was the only day she could borrow a car to pick me up from the airport #FF: Any other day my step fam would find out that I was back in the state :(#Nicky not fully up to date on the Step situation: And that's bad?#FF: And that's bad.#FF: Please cremate me so that my granny doesn't have to see my mangled remains #FF: Give her my ashes and let her know my last thoughts were of her.#Nicky: I really gotta find you a girlfriend.#Fluent Freshman #Nicky Hemmick #Andrew Minyard #Neil Josten #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG Shitpost #AFTG OC #AFTG Fic #My Fics #FF - Pt. 07

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