#even being transgender.

[inkskinned]

there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #this is so disorganized #i just saw that video and the comments made me want to vomit #it's actually like. in the way it's funny that you got into a car crash and got the flu within the same 24 hours #it's like. #it's funny #because certain people will blame everything on mental illness #even being transgender. #they will not #however #at any point - even vaguely suggest that a man should maybe get therapy. #like. a guy busting down a door isn't a danger-to-himself-and-others #(you just pushed him too far). #but a young adult looking for top surgery should be institutionalized for even wanting to change their body.

[hemipenal-system]

taking the moment to archive my entire blog tonight! trans people i recommend y'all do too. you know. just in case.

#photomatt fuckery #love being a trans woman on the “queerest site on the internet” that can't even handle a sfw transition timeline #if there's one post of mine that y'all should blow up btw it's this one #trans woman #transgender #trans #transfem #transgirl #queer #tumblr #tumblr staff

[deancaskiss]

rb to have a super gay 2023

#this was a hit last year so lets do it again for 2023 #here’s to being even more gay next year #gonna make 2023 the gayest year yet #also my 2022 post worked for so many people. including me ;) #bex talks #lgbt #lgbtqia #gay #bisexual #lesbian #transgender #asexual #queer #intersex #pansexual #pride #txt #txt post #text post #text

[bilandi-shmandi]

In light of recent events...

#i might leave Tumblr if this gets even worse #imagine banning a trans woman for being rightfully angry about targeted harrasment #CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING THAT PATHETIC??????? #transgender #trans rights #predstrogen #photomatt #tumblr staff #staff #🚗🔨⚒️💥

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #like even with there being more OPEN AND OUT trans people there are still more cis people by volume #even in my high school with three trans girls and three trans guys (including me) and a few NB people... #...there were still a THOUSAND cis kids going to school with us. imagine complaining when cis people are still 'dominant' #i don't know what my secondary school's population is because it's a big campus so you can deal with high school stats lol #like thank gd we are beginning to live in a world where the trans population CAN grow #i want there to be more trans people. because trans people will continue to be trans #we will continue being trans no matter what laws you put into place. no matter how dangerous you make the world for us... #...we will continue to be trans whether or not you approve. and that's fucking beautiful. i want us to live. i want us to eat well. #i want us to not worry about anything in this world. and that's going to happen one day. it will happen just like the sun rises each morning #if that is a threat to you then that is your own fault - your own self-destructive and sad thoughts about people and our world #and that is not my burden to carry - i have my own.

[satelliteduster]

oh my god i forgot to post my absolute favorite strip from gay comix (issue #2, 1981)

#this collection is full of so many hilarious vignettes #between the fictional and biographical they range from hilarious to saddening but theyre all candid looks at #lgbt life in the 60s 70s and 80s #id recommend it if you're interested in older underground work #edit: for ppl who notice the opening blurb i will say this: #1. Many artists in the underground comix scene (yes the lgbt ones too) delighted in being overly provocative for the sake of it #hence the cringeworthy 'political unity is not the goal' line #2. i worried abt this too when i started going thru the issues but there are quite a few strips and comics focusing on the trans experience #that said. there are unfortunately not a lot of transgender artists involved in this collection #3. given the preceding two points i think its fair to say that a good chunk of the strips in gay comix just. Suck #but like they actually said it's important that we're capable of recognizing that a full 40 years down the line #so we can actually learn something from the life experiences the mistakes and even the lack of perspective tht sm of these artists displayed #nocturnal writings

[undefbug]

the transmasc transitioning experience is really just being told again and again that you’re making yourself gross. which there is a big narrative surrounding all transitioning no matter which side that you’re going to end up “undesirable” i think there’s a lot of hate surrounding trans masculine transition that surrounds becoming a gross man.

really it’s enough of a mental challenge going from fem presentation where any body hair is immediately seen as disgusting to trying to become comfortable with yourself in masculine transition with your body hair. even facial hair which is something that is a big part of masculine transition and something a lot of trans masc people may look forward to can still bring shame and guilt especially around how people will perceive you with that very masculine presentation.

honestly in my personal experiences with medical transition, the amount of negative comments i’ve gotten on body hair and facial hair from close people in my life can be disheartening and really does push on that “gross man” mentality, i transitioned for those traits. i transitioned to be a big hairy guy with a nice beard. and people thinking that’s gross or whatever shouldn’t take the fun and euphoria out of transitioning. but it does sometimes and that sucks

remember that’s it’s okay to be big and hairy and masculine! it’s beautiful too!!!

#not even really a guy but i love being masculine and transitioning has helped me sm with that #if one more person comments on my masculine traits in a rude way i’m exploding them in my mind. #in love with masculinity!! #trans ftm #ftm #trans is beautiful #trans man #transgender #transmasc #transisbeautiful #trans men #trans male #testosterone #ftm trans #mlm

[myfriendgoo94]

Here take these pics of me in my underwear that i took a week ago and forgot to post anywhere

#don’t even remember taking these #will be back to being hot next week hopefully #it me! #cool to reblog #trans #transgender #transfem #transfemme #girlslikeus #transisbeautiful #transisbetter #this is what trans looks like #tgirlsdoitbetter🌈 #cute tgirl #tgirl babe #tgirl #tgirlselfie #trans girl #transgirl #transgirls #trans girls #trans woman #trans model

[squiretilde]

My Scott (Scout) Pilgrim Brainrot is back in full fucking force.

INTRODUCING: THEM!

(Descriptions under the Cut!)

#scott pilgrim #scout pilgrim #ramona flowers #scott pilgrim takes off #lesbian #lgbt #bisexual #Transgender #t4t #squireart #also in case i didnt make it super clear #ramona is also a trans woman #she just isnt nearly as loud about it as scout is #not that its a bad thing #she's really happy for Scout (even if Scout's being annoying about it) #but Ramona's a Woman #and she's been a woman for a long time now #why dredge up the past?

[gynoidgearhead]

Forget Traditional Homeownership: Meet the Transgender People Who Have Given Up On The Unattainable Ideal Of Traditional Personhood

#seriously it's actually kind of alarming to what extent like. we're all traumatized to the point where we start to feel like unpeople #where even the concept of being a real person in the same sense as most people starts to feel out of reach #also to answer tags: the phenomenon in this post isn't exclusive to trans people but it's seemingly especially relevant to us #this is also totally a neurodivergence mood #voidpunk #transgender #mental health #mental illness #dissociation #depersonalization #neurodivergence #autism #trauma #abuse #100 #200 #500 #1000

[punkeropercyjackson]

"This is the gender fuckery and cis+ website"You guys can't even handle trans people who don't want to physically transition

#no because this literally ruined my first best friendship after i grew up friendless my whole life💀she sxually harrased me with bodyshaming #and the worst part is that it wasn't even her saying i'll never be a man i'm bigender and super femme and THAT'S why i want to stay afab #but she refused to understand me!!!she expected my femininity to be the same as a cisgirls and my manhood the same as binary trans dudes' #i explained my gender SO MANY TIMES and she used 'she' 'accidentally' even though her fuckass also called me 'a girl in a he/him kinda way' #she saw my bigenderness and genderfluidity as a fucking joke instead of who i actually am just because i don't want t or surgeries bc gnc #and i told her both those things too but here we are!!BE NORMAL ABOUT TRANS PEOPLES BODIES AND STOP BEING A DICK EVEN IF YOU'RE ALSO TRANS #trans #transgender #transmasc #transmasculine #bigender #genderfluid #trans men #demigirl #ftm #transfem #trans women #nonbinary #agender #demiboy #transneutral #transmascfem #black femme #genderqueer #xenogender #catgender #dragongender #ghostgender #💌 #summerposting

[mechacringekitty]

shoutout to people who didn't always know actually. shoutout to those that didn't have dysphoria since childhood or know something was different about them or act different or be noticeably queer. i can't be the only one and i love you

i love you <3

#i only found out being something other than cishet was a thing about three years ago! of my own volition! reading fanfic and being a kid! #that being said i dont remember a lot of my childhood [probably due to trauma] #but even now...i feel a little invalid for not being able to say ive always felt different #so hi hello i love you lets hold hands and watch the sun rise #transgender #queer #trans positivity #queer positivity #pansexual #< because i am and this is about that #i hope these are the right tags i am so aa...

[airlocksandaviaries]

*trying to validate other trans guys* Of course you can be a man while being short and having a high voice and long hair and tits! These things don’t make you any less manly, in fact they can even make you even more manly! For example, just look at Tom Cru- *gets shot*

#tc #transgender #a transmasc icon without even being transmasc #trans #I am Trans leabe me alone #but I deserve to be shot for this post #Tom Cruise #my bullshit

[uncanny-tranny]

Periodic reminder that unless a person specifically and clearly tells you it is okay to tell others they are trans or queer, you should err on the side of caution and assume they do not want you to tell people (especially random people!) about their transness or queerness.

You have no idea, generally, why somebody doesn't talk openly about their trans or queer status, and you have no idea, truly, how somebody might react to that information. The most progressive person out there is still capable of harbouring incredibly negative thoughts about somebody's queer status.

#lesbian #gay #bi #bisexual #trans #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ally advice #inspired after somebody at work outed me (again ×3) #i don't care how 'safe' you assume they will be! you cannot TRULY guarantee their safety! #you are effectively gambling with somebody's safety by assuming you can out them #also even if their safety was somehow 100% guaranteed it is still not your place to dictate what others know about THEM #like it isn't your own information you are giving out. the other person is a real human being with real thoughts... #...and there are real ramifications to your actions! this is like... real life and like... real people #anyway. i'm still fucking horrified at how cool people are (at least wrt me) with outing others 🙃🫠 #and it just... further reminds me that others see me as like... a thing to be talked about/over and i'm not seen as an autonomous human #maybe that's not their intentions 9/10 times but that still doesn't justify it nor does it change how i interpret that behaviour 👍 #it's just dehumanizing imo to be reminded 'your comfort DOESN'T MATTER. i think you should be talked ABOUT not TO.' #clarification for the first tag: this is the THIRD time somebody has outed me. i NEVER talk about being trans to... pretty much ANYBODY irl #it's shit like this that i have to resist taking the 'doompill' over #because it's scary and dehumanizing every. single. time. i feel so fucking scared each time #because - AGAIN - i know my safety will NEVER be guaranteed because i am trans and queer

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

it/its pronouns are so beautiful?

[I've seen some well meaning people be like "I don't use it/its pronouns because I don't want to degrade that person or objectify 'them'" but king that's misgendering mate it's the opposite of respecting that person. I used to feel worried when I used those pronouns for people too coz of all the associations with it, I mean I still used it, but I was worried about the objectifying]

BUT for a long while now ive been realising how beautiful those pronouns are.

"it" isn't degrading

My god, look at that human over there. It's so cute! Holy shit it saw me I hope it likes me I want to be friends. It's coming toward me! It smiled at me! I'm so happy.

Look at that person over there. It's very smart and it doesnt like loud noises so it wears headphones all the time to cancel out the noises. It's not very sociable, and thats okay! It'll be happy if I give it a cup of coffee though. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to go up to it and hand it a cappuccino though it's a stranger.

Look at that girl there. It is a girl and it uses it/its pronouns, and it wishes people would respect that. People uses to objectify it all the time for being a girl. Then people would blame it for objectifying itself. But it has now reclaimed its identity, and it knows that it is a human being and it is also an object and idea, in other words, the girl is whatever it wants to be. It is "it" the same way a beautiful storm is just before it hits, a wave is when it crashes into the shore, an animal is when it burrows out of the ground to sniff at the air. And that is how the girl views itself, and it's not a bad thing to change because of things that have happened to it.

See that old man there? It's tired and it would like to see the beach one day before it dies. It took a while for it to understand all these new pronouns, and when it heard of it/its, something clicked and it just knew that it had finally found out its identity after all these decades. It's looking forward to telling its partner in heaven.

pronouns aren't always the same as gender, and they aren't always different. So many different people and identities and stories.

It/its is beautiful.

#lgbtqia #queer community #Misgendering #Gender euphoria #Pronouns #It/its #Respect pronouns #Even pronouns you don't understand #It's non negotiable #Diversity #Humans being humans #Queer #neopronouns #gender affirmation #Healing #Pronouns =/= gender #Gender #Transgender #Trans pride #GNC #gnc trans #gender nonconforming

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

fucking thank you for mentioning that black and brown and indigenous bloggers (esp trans women) on this website have been nuked since 2016 and nobody gave a shit. this website has been racist and transmisogynistic for years and 99% of the ""community"" on here didn't give a fuck until now.

an indigenous child is dead. transfem bloggers are harassed. nobody cares about that. the white trans community on this site cares about funny jokes and infighting instead of protecting us. avery deserves better. nex deserved better. children are being murdered and people have decided to strip every ounce of racial and transmisogynistic intent from the current wave of violence in favor of jokes.

when do we get to be a part of our own communities? when do we get the support and protection and righteous anger from other trans people? im so fucking tired.

honestly? ive been talking about this stuff for years, and the only reason it got attention is because of what happened to rita being so public, those posts never got the attention they should've and that doesnt surprise me in the slightest.

we arent a part of this "community", we wouldnt be trampled on and forgotten if we were actually important. and whenever we make our own spaces they take that over too. it doesnt matter what happens to us in the process. i hate the performative bullshit i hate the jokes i hate the ignorance i hate that theres nothing left for us.

the only times we're fucking noticed is when somebody murders us and EVEN THEN thats giving too much credit. white people get to joke about this shit while we have to live every day accepting that we'll be left behind. with no way of finding others like us to even feel just a smidgen of comfort. you look at the tag for black trans women before this photomatt bs and theres nothing but our murders. you cant even find shit about all the poc getting banned from this site because nobody cared to document anything let alone Help us.

im really fucking tired of seeing the 'support black trans women!' posts around here. you dont support us when we look you in the eye and Beg. when i got kicked out last year and made a post about it NOBODY batted an eye until rita and afew other popular white transfems reblogged it. and im the lucky one. people would rather be upset at the hammer car than us dying in the streets. i dont even know how to type this all out, just thinking about this makes me furious. i spent the early years of my transition hearing nothing but black trans girls getting murdered in their cars for $100. thats how worth our lives are in this "community". we cant even get that much in donations.

im tired too hun, im really fucking tired

#transgender #predstrogen #transmisogyny #transmisogynoir #trans #i feel like im gonna fucking puke lol i hate how fake you people are #for the people that actually care. that story about a black trans woman being murdered in her car is Real. #she was 17yrs old. i saw that story when i was 16. ive seen more like it before that and since #i cant even find her name because trying to look it up only pulls up more murders. one 2hrs away from me too! awesome!