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sohin-ace · 4 years

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Jotaro - Fanletters

This is cross-posted from Wattpad and available on AO3.

Enjoy~

You and the infamous Jotaro were pretty close friends. It was really a weird friendship, but it worked out well. You knew each other from elementary school and lived 2 blocks away from each other. Your parents were nicely acquainted as well.

You basically grew up together. Overtime, you learned to manage his edgy nature and embrace his odd gestures of kindness while he learned to tolerate your eccentrism and appreciate your patience towards him.

In any other circumstances, you both would have never even been friends, but fate worked like that sometimes. You wouldn't trade Jotaro for anything in the world and he wouldn't let anyone think of even touching you.

Of course, everybody at school knew about the Jojo-Y/N duo. Everybody wondered how a girl like Y/N managed to get to the stone cold Jojo, and how a guy like Jojo could even bear the presence of the freaky Y/N.

Some were jealous, some were excited, and some were completely indifferent to the chemistry of the two.

And between some jealous fangirls stood some who wanted to take advantage of your accessibility to pass some messages, letters, gifts and many more to the lady-killer Jojo.

It has become a habit for you now, you didn't really mind, even if it could be bothersome sometimes. It was actually pretty entertaining for you. You were the person who received the most love letters at school, with your shoe locker and desk always filled to the brim, too bad they weren't from your fervant admirers, but Jotaro's.

You would usually just take the love letters to him but you always got the same response of denial. Telling you to just throw them away or whatever. But you would always try and convince him to read some of them with you, since 'it could be fun'.

"Yooo Jojo that one is wild look at that! Ewwww! Would you even do that to a woman? No that's straight up EVIL!" you showed him the letter as he was laying on his bed and you were sat at his desk.

"Yare yare daze... I don't want to see it" he huffed, not wanting to deal with yet another cringy lustful confession.

You two would spend some afternoons like this. Sometimes you felt like his personal assistant sorting out his mailbox or something.

One day was very special though.

At the end of one school day, you were assigned in cleaning duty. After cleaning with the other assigned students, you stayed a bit later to empty your shoe locker and desk which took forever. Everyone was gone by now and you were heading back to the classroom to get your bag and finally call it a day.

You got the lockers and opened yours to get your shoes but found one single letter left there.

"Oh? I forgot one... I was sure I got everything... Did someone just put it in? Eh whatever."

You took the letter, put on your shoes and decided you'll pass by Jotaro's house to give him the letter, even if you knew he couldn't care less about it.

"What do you want?" he grunted, but opened the door wide to let you in. The duality of the guy.

"Oh nothing important, just this." you handed the pastel pink enveloppe. "It sat in my locker, alone and afraid." you joked.

Jotaro reluctantly took the letter in his hand. He was ready to just tell you off and shoving it back into your face, but then he noticed what was written on the other side of the enveloppe.

'For Y/N <3'

Jotaro let appear a tiny smirk on his strong features. Things just got interesting for him. If you brought him the letter, that means you didn't notice it was for you.

To your surprise, Jotaro kept the letter and put it aside.

"Huh? You're not going to tell me to throw it away or shove it up my ass or something?" you said a bit baffled.

"No, I'll do it myself." he turned and tossed it on a nearby table.

"HUH ??? SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS???"

You then felt Star Platinum slap you across the back of the head with a nice 'ORA!'

"Owowow!" you cried a little while rubbing your head. Jotaro turned around muttering his iconic "yare yare daze".

Later that evening, when you were already gone home, Jotaro took the liberty to read the letter, wondering what kind of boy could even be interested in you, and see who he had to pick a fight with.

He read the entire thing, and throughout the reading he thought that person was acting pretty mysterious, it was very different from the letters that he recieved from his fangirls.

No, here the letter was filled with many "I'll understand if you don't really roll that way" or "I know it's weird, please don't take this the wrong way". Basically the letter felt very apologetic and the person was obviously self conscious.

At first Jotaro didn't understand why until he read the name of the sender.

'Kaneda Mokou'

He froze. 'Mokou'? So it was a girl. Well at least he wouldn't have to fight anyone so that's good, but also it was interesting.

A girl was into you. Romantically. Or even more. How cute.

He leaned back in his chair, wondering what your reaction would be when he'll break it down to you.

Even if you had a weird sense of humor and overall weird personality, he knew you were very kind, too kind to confront these situations by yourself, especially if you had to reject someone.

He expected the next day greatly.

You went to pick Jotaro up to walk to school with him. You greeted Holly and went on your way with him.

"Aaah it's way too early, be my pillow Jojo." You leaned lazily on his arm without even waiting for his response and he just let you be, too tired to deal with your shenanigans right now.

After a brief moment of silence with both of you peacefully walking, Jotaro broke the ice suddenly.

"Y/N, what about girls?" he blurted. You stood back straight and looked at him like he was the craziest man on earth.

"What the hell is that question, out of nowhere? About your fangirls, you mean?"

"What if a girl liked you?" he looked straight ahead so you couldn't read his eyes, but he seemed serious.

"Aaah...." you paused to think. "I think I'd be flattered, but also sad that she would like me of all girls haha wouldn't that be funny? Not like it will happen anytime soon. Why? Did a guy ask you out again? Was it the letter from yesterday?"

He stopped in his tracks and had a scary glint in his eyes as he took the now opened letter from his pockets and handed it to you.

You hesitated and looked at him with worry.

"You scare me Jojo, what's going on?" he didn't reply. You just took the time to read the letter and realized it was not aimed at Jotaro at all, but at you!

You blushed at the realization and looked at him, but he ushered you to continue reading with his gaze.

Your face reddened the more you read the letter. The tender words of affection, the compliments, the poetic lines and the saddening doubt in the sender's words.

You finished reading and gasped when you saw that it was from your classmate Kaneda Mokou.

"W-waaah!!! Mokou-chan likes me???" You squirmed in embarrassment and stared at Jotaro who seemed amused by the ordeal.

"YOU KNEW IT DIDN'T YOU?? THIS IS WHY YOU KEPT THE LETTER !! YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOVED IT UP YOUR ASS LIKE YOU SAID INSTEAD OF READING IT!"

Jotaro was this close to slapping you to space.

"Just go see her before I kick your ass" the boy growled.

"Hey Jojo, what do you think I should tell her?" you said recovering from your flushed state.

"I don't give a shit it's on you."

"So you wouldn't mind if she becomes my giiiirlfriend~ ?" you said with a teasing tone.

Jotaro flinched and didn't answer for a moment.

"...Do you want to?" he mumbled.

"I don't know, will you be okay with me kissing her and holding her hand and-"

He suddenly grabbed your shoulders, turned you around and shoved you forward.

"Just walk already we're late" he stayed behind you to hide his growing blush.

To be honest Jotaro had this tiny crush on you but even he barely realized it. He was very protective of you and swore he would beat the crap out of any guys that would confess to you, but now that the opponent was a girl he was lost.

Did he have competition? Were you even interested in girls? Or even interested in trying? What should he do?

He thought you would just be a coward and act as if the letter never existed, but now you acted like you were contemplating the offer a lot and that brought a sweat to his brow.

At the end of the day, you decided to talk to Mokou to give her your answer. Jotaro decided to wait for you a few feet away where he couldn't hear what you were saying.

After a few minutes of talking and even some laughing, Jotaro saw you both hug and then separate before bidding each other goodbye. You then joined your tall friend and he didn't say anything but his eyes spoke the question for him.

"Hmmm can you guess? Did I say yes or no?"

"Cut the crap Y/N."

"So impatient! To be honest I wouldn't have minded but..." you blushed a little bit and he raised an eyebrow at you "I think... I need someone that's a bit more like you, Jojo." You added, embarassed.

He showed you a surprised face a this sudden confession. Before he could react any further you continued.

"She wouldn't have put up with me I think. She's very nice and sweet, but she probably would have dumped me after, like, 3 days. Can't blame her haha." you laughed sheepishly.

"Good." Jotaro said turning around. You were confused at his reaction.

"Good? What do you mean 'good'? How is me being dumpable any good? Hey, come back here! ...Jojo! SLOW DOWN YOU'RE TOO FAST! JOJOOOOOO !!!"

He ignored you and speedwalked away from you as you started jogging to catch up to him.

That basically was your relationship with Jotaro Kujo. There was a hint of something more than friendship between you two, but neither of you could put your fingers on it.

"Finally haaah... I caught up to you haaa, you freaking daddy-long-legs" you panted.

He smirked and grabbed you in a headlock.

"Oi, that hurts let me go!" you hit his arm repeatedly, asking for mercy.

"You said you wanted me to be your pillow" he said, dragging you back home.

You only knew that you wanted to be with each other, and no one else.

"Yare yare daze..."

"...That's my catchphrase."

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #jjba #jotaro #jotaro kujo #stardust crusaders #writing #x reader #reader insert #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part 3 #part 3 #jotaro x reader #jotaro kujo x reader

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kayokos-villain-imagines · 4 years

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Tabe SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Really wants affection but he doesn’t think he deserves it and is too shy to ask. He’ll literally never turn it down though. If you’re upset, he might give you a shy hug but will let go immediately if you seem like you’re not enjoying it.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

If you’re friends it’s probably because you started hanging around him, Hojo, and Setsuno, and they just… adopted you. He doesn’t talk much, but is super loyal and caring. If you get hurt, he will be worried nonstop.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Loves cuddles. Having someone caressing him and cooing in his ear about how perfect he is is unbelievable to him. He feels unworthy of your touches though, so he also needs plenty of reassurance. As long as he’s sure you’ll like it, Tabe will wrap his arms around your waist and stay like that for hours. Your scent is intoxicating to him, and he’s so grateful that you’re willing to let him do this.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

It would make him sooo happy to settle down with you. He’s awful at cooking, but actually not half bad at cleaning, since Overhaul’s kind of drilled it into his mind.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Even if things weren’t going well for you guys he’d feel too guilty to break up with you. To him, it could be taken as “I’m better than you so I make the rules”, and he would never put his opinions above yours. If things got really bad, Hojo and Setsuno might have to step in for him, but they’d hate to do anything that would make him unhappy.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Wholly devoted to you from your first date. You’re the first person to ever really want him and he doesn’t want to give that up. He’d never force you to commit to him though, but if you ever suggested marriage, he’d probably cry.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Very gentle with you. He needs to make it clear that he would never hurt you. All the same, if you ask for hugs from him, you’re not slipping away anytime soon.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Honestly, Tabe gives perfect hugs. Not too tight, not too loose, and he’s really warm too. He’ll only hug you if you ask, though. Has a habit of nuzzling your neck while hugging you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He’s terrified of rejection from you, so it takes him a lot of time and encouragement from you to say it. When he does, it’s quiet, and probably muffled by your shoulder.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He gets jealous when you’re around anyone he thinks of as more desirable than himself. So basically, anyone. He’s not a controlling boyfriend though, so he won’t try to hint that he’s jealous, he’ll just suffer silently until you take notice of him and realize something’s wrong.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Tabe gives shy and hesitant kisses. He’s scared of seeming too disinterested, but more so of coming on too strongly and scaring you off. Usually just kisses you on the lips when you initiate it, but really loves getting forehead and ear kisses.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Either nervous or right at home. He shares the hyperactivity and constant hunger of a small child, so he’s the perfect candidate to play with them and distract them from whatever destructive thing they were just doing. But this can also make him a little self-conscious around too many other adults, especially a crush he wants to impress.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Tabe secretly loves waking up and seeing your face. He’ll prolong cuddling as long as possible, but knows he eventually has to leave for work. If you get up first and make him breakfast, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

At the end of a long day, all Tabe really wants is plenty of affection and cuddles. He doesn’t care if you go straight to bed, take a bath first, or watch a movie, he just wants to be with you. To lay on your chest while you run your fingers through his hair and ramble on about what happened that day or what you hope to get done in the future.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Will tell you anything and everything about himself if you ask. Not used to talking much, but will try as hard as he can for you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

For you, Tabe has all the patience in the world, and that’s saying a lot for him. If you’re ever mad at him, he blames himself completely, and will do whatever is necessary to make amends. If you keep doing things he doesn't like, he’ll be more anxious, but will eventually attribute this to his own faults as well.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries, but isn’t always successful at remembering everything you say. Really wants to be the boyfriend who’s always surprising you with your favorite flowers or taking you to your favorite restaurant, but he always gets nervous when putting things together and forgets.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

He cherishes every moment spent with you, but his favorite has to be when you asked him out for the first time. He had been crushing on you for months and it was beginning to become painful to watch you enjoy spending time with everyone else. Still, he knew that acting on his love would only get him rejected, and that was far worse than this. So when you came up to him, smiling nervously and suggested going out with him? He couldn’t believe it. After having you repeat yourself a few times, he was so ecstatic that he couldn’t help but pull you in close for a hug.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Tabe isn’t protective in the sense that he’ll keep you away from possible suitors, but he is protective of you being in danger. This is one of the many reasons he wants to be with you everywhere, so he knows you’re safe and that he could protect you from anything that would possibly hurt you. As for himself, the only thing you’ll really have to protect him from is himself. Tell him he’s good enough for you, play with his hair while cooing softly about how handsome he is, make sure he knows that you’ll never want anyone else, and he’ll feel safe and secure again.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He tries, he really does. He’s just not aware of how to be a traditional boyfriend, so you’ll have to sit him down and explain stuff to him if you want regular dinner dates or things like that. He’s eager to comply though, anything to keep you happy with him.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Obviously, overeating, it’s hard to keep food in the fridge for too long before he gets to it. Also forgets to do stuff like turning lights off and shutting doors around the house, so you’ll have to try not to get mad at him for that. He can’t really handle having you mad at him, it sort of sends him into panic.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Very insecure, but he knows there’s really not much he can do about it. He’ll be so relieved if you love him despite how he looks.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

100%. You keep him together and give him more love and affection than on a daily basis than he’d ever thought he’d receive in his life. He’d be so broken without you, sometimes it feels like he needs you just to breathe.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He doesn’t talk much because like every other part of himself, he’s insecure about his voice. But unlike looks and his quirk, he has total control over how much others hear him speak, so he chooses not to talk. It’s a measure of his trust in you when he speaks to you, and he realizes this, but he’s still shy when you act happy and surprised about hearing his voice.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

If you try to restrict his eating habits, give him a standard to measure up to, or limit how much he can hang out with his friends, you’ll have a very upset and stressed Tabe on your hands. He won’t necessarily leave you, but he definitely won’t be happy in the relationship.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Prone to falling asleep when you cuddle him. It’s just so relaxing around you, and he feels so safe and happy he can’t really help it. If you pet his hair or sing to him, he’s gone almost immediately.

(μ‿μ) ❤

#tabe soramitsu #mha tabe #bnha tabe x reader #tabe x reader

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nightsonights · 5 years

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sfw alphabet- z.k.

masterlist

author’s note: HUGE shoutout to the absolute queen @reveriekuwonu for this idea. her work is so so amazing and she’s so credibly talented. she did this for both nick and edwin so please please go check those out!!

also, this is not 100% reflective of the boys, zion in particular. i (obviously) don’t know them personally so these are all based on the assumptions/vibes that i get off them.

•••

A= Affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)

zion is moderately affectionate. he isn’t serenading you constantly or bringing you gift baskets and chocolates but from time to time, he’ll get you your favourite meal or perfume. you guys are practically best friends who are in love and in a relationship. he shows his affection through constantly spending time with you or just by simply telling you that he appreciates and loves you.

B= Best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)

HE IS YOUR NUMBER ONE SUPPORTER. zion is down for anything and everything. smoke a joint? down. turn up? down. late night run to mcdonald’s? down. you’d start being friends with him through meeting at parties hosted at the pm house or through mutual friends. you both share the spotlight when it comes to getting lit so overtime, you learned to share it.

C= Cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)

zion is a meaningful cuddler. he likes to cuddle in silence and enjoy your presence. he would enjoy cuddling after a long day with something playing on the TV. the vibe is overall reflective. he is reflecting over his life or his goals or even being with you. his favourite cuddling spot would be resting his head on your stomach or your thighs.

D= Domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

one day. zion can imagine himself one day with a wife and kids and like five simba’s running around but that’s very far down the line for him. he can cook and be clean when he wants to but often times finds himself slacking. however, when he puts his mind to a recipe or making a place look decent, he does an amazing job.

E= Ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

zion isn’t totally immature about it. he’s not gonna go around spreading details or be butthurt about it. maybe make some unpointed ig story remarks but he’ll get over it. good with hanging around ex(s) after splitting just cause he doesn’t fuck with the negativity. but i do see him hooking up with one for old times sake.

F= Fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)

marriage is something that zion can see in his life, just not anytime soon. isn’t very scared of setting down per say but he’s not at the stage of his life where he wants to fully be (and legally) accountable for someone else.

G= Gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally)

LITERALLY THE SOFTEST PERSON YOU’LL EVER MEET. under that hard exterior, he’s a soft, giant teddy bear. he is emotionally gentle when he knows that he can trust you and vice versa. physically he’s the same. IN BED THO... girl. we won’t talk about that ;).

H= Hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

zion’s hugs are overwhelming to anyone. he literally engulfs you into his chest and towers over you with his height. being in his embrace feels like another world; your own personal shelter. he doesn’t mind being hugged but he finds it quite awkward if the person isn’t the same height as him. these types of hugs come forth when you’re feeling down or if he feels like he hasn’t held you in a while.

I= I love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)

zion isn’t one to just say ”i love you” to anything or anyone. he will definitely feel like he’s in love for a long time before he actually says it out loud.

J= Jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)

zion is definitely a petty jealous. he will just hit you with those passive aggressive remarks like “go hit up your mans” or “tell your man he’s staring too hard.” he doesn’t take it too seriously though cause he knows you’re his girl and he trusts you.

K= Kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MANS LIPS? LORD. zion’s kisses are always passionate and sexy. tongue, biting of the lips, etc. make out sessions are very common between the two of you. he loves to kiss your lips and loves to receive neck/jaw kisses.

L= Little ones (how are they around children?)

zion’s really shy around kids. the soft side of his personality comes out when he encounters a child. definitely nervous about making them upset or doing the wrong thing so he tries to avoid doing too much. he’d be an excellent dad once he stops tip toeing around his kid.

M= Mornings (how are mornings spent with them?)

mornings with zion are usually spent with puffs of smoke and tangled limbs under sheets. this is zion’s time of reflection and appreciation. whether that be because of his joint or not.

N= Night (how are nights spent with them?)

if the night isn’t spent partying or mixing beats in the studio, they are spent cuddling while watching reruns of old shows or cartoons. lots of inappropriate gripping and touching but overall pretty chill.

O= Open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

zion is definitely one to have you piece together his biography slowly but surely. he’s not afraid to be vulnerable but it will take him a while to open up to someone. he needs to feel like he’s not being judged or ridiculed of the things that mean a lot to him in order to talk truthfully about them.

P= Patience (how easily angered are they?)

believe it or not, zion is very patient. he often holds his tongue to avoid unnecessary conflict. however, he will let things accumulate untill he’s reached his breaking point and feels like he needs to get shit off his chest. and when zion talks his shit- it’s over for y’all hoes.

Q= Quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

zion’s a good in between. he won’t remember the name of your first goldfish but he will remember your common phrases or actions. zion remembers things that are relevant to you and your relationship, not random fun facts.

R= Remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

your first time meeting his family or the moment where you both admitted you had feelings for each other.

S= Security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

zion is super protective. he will throw hands for you, no questions asked. when it comes to protecting his family and friends, he doesnt care who was in the wrong or who it is. zion doesn’t so much need to be protected physically (although he wouldn’t mind you throwing hands for him ) but he likes to feel emotionally protected and valued. he appreciates someone he can express his hardships to and not worry that they will repeat it to someone else.

T = Try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

because he’s very spontaneous and down for anything, every activity feels like a date. zion will remember something that you mentioned in passing and say let’s go do it. Because all your dates are very informal and chill, he would take anniversaries and special occasions really seriously. even going as far to make them extra cheesy and heartfelt :).

U= Ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

zion is a silent angry. he doesn’t feel the need to mention every little thing that makes him angry so he expresses his anger in silent and passive aggressive ways. when you try to help him or fix it the problem, he brushes it off just cause he would rather avoid the unnecessary argument. when zion gets in these types of moods, he can be very grumpy and agitated which doesn’t help either of you.

V= Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

coming from a chubby childhood, zion often is self conscious about his weight. people might take it as him being cocky or fuckboy-ish when he shows off his abs but really he’s just proud of his progress/workout regiment.

W= Whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

definitely. you and zion do some much together that if you were ever to leave for some reason he would definitely feel like he’s missing his better half.

X= Xtra (a random headcanon for them)

will never ask for it but loves when you take control in the bedroom. loves the feeling of your hands in his hair. is a whore for neck/jaw kisses. especially when hickies are involved.

Y= Yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

someone who is boring or doesn’t want to take risks. as mentioned before, he’s a very energetic and spontaneous so if his partner isn’t as equally as adventurous it’s a major turn off. zion also isn’t keen of someone who is always calling him out for smoking weed or being high. his fans already do that so much already, he doesn’t need his significant other doing the same.

Z= Zzz (what is a sleep habit(s) of theirs?)

zion definitely likes being the small spoon. his ideal sleeping position is his head resting on your stomach, thighs or chest.

#sfw alphabet #prettymuch sfw alphabet #zion kuwonu sfw alphabet #prettymuch #zion kuwonu #kyla

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fairycosmos · 5 years

Note

my only friend stopped talking to me :( my loneliness has hit a new low

i’m sorry love :( you deserve better than that. i know what it’s like not to have many friends, and to be isolated from the world, how much it fucks with your head and your perception of yourself/other people. if your friend just randomly fell out of contact with you then they’re probably just busy, maybe they’re waiting for you to reach out. all it takes is one message. no matter how awkward you feel or how nerve wracking it is - if you’re hurt, if you want them in your life, then fight for them. however if there was a specific reason you guys stopped hanging out, then i think you need to give yourself some time to grieve what has been lost. i personally believe that periods of loneliness are very natural. they allow you to discover who you are. learning to rely on yourself, to be your own friend while you’re in these transitional phases of waiting to meet the right people - it can really make a difference. cause sometimes that’s just the way things work out, people walking in and out of your life will occur over n over again. maybe you could use this as an opportunity to get used to who you are, even if all of the self destructive urges in your body are telling you to do otherwise. i know nobody talks about it that much, but it’s actually pretty common to be in this situation and it genuinely doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. or that you’re undeserving of friendship, or that you wont eventually find it. finding those who you truly connect with is difficult. for me, i only meet one or two every few years, if that. it’s a painful and hard truth to accept. but i honestly think that if you look at the circumstances from an objective standpoint, and if you try your best to be your own support system for a while, then things will work out. where you’re at right now isn’t where you’ll always be. becoming comfortable in your own skin, or at least trying to, makes it easier for others to be drawn to you. obviously it’s a lot easier said than done. it’s all a process. and i’m not saying you can’t be sad, or that you can’t cry or feel insecure or whatever, because you can. all of that is to be expected. but it’s how you cope with those emotions that counts the most.

i also want to stress that just because you feel lonely, doesn’t mean that you are completely alone. you’re still a part of this world, you’re still bound to others just by the simple fact that you’re sharing the experience of life with them, even if it’s in an indirect way. and there are a lot of avenues of support/guidance out there. it may help to talk to someone like a counselor, or your doctor, or maybe a local support group about what’s going on. please don’t allow your mind to just write the idea off, cause it’s really crucial that you see things for what they actually are. even if you just begin by calling a hotline, that’s still something to be proud of, because it counts as you reaching out. which can really change everything, over time. please consider the idea of letting others in, even if they’re professionals, because they can really offer you a lot in terms of figuring out how to navigate this pain/anxiety. it may also help to lean on your family members during this time, if that’s possible. even if you just talk to one of them about it. when you spend a lot of time by yourself, you kind of forget that other people go through things, too. they understand, and they will help, and just because you don’t have many real friends at the moment, doesn’t mean there’s nobody out there who will support you. it sounds like bullshit, i know. but it’s not. meeting others who are in the same boat as you may enable you to feel a little more connected to the world. it’s just something to consider, an option. you’re not trapped, and this isn’t permanent, even if it seems like it is sometimes. take it one day at a time, and focus on what you can actively do to help yourself instead of focusing solely on how other people are reacting to you. this will pass, dude, everything does. and that fact doesn’t make the pain any less intense, but it’s good to remember it sometimes. until then, i’ll be rooting for you w all my heart and i’ll honestly always be here if you need someone. send me a message anytime. i’m bad at talking, but we can be friends. and if you can, consider sending that old friend of yours a message. there’s no harm in trying. anyway, i hope you feel a bit better about it all soon. sending a lot of love your way.

#anon #loneliness is the worst #i used to love it but i think i just love solitude it's hard to feel like a real person when no one recognizes you as one

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kewltie · 6 years

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pls pls, gimme courtesan!deku set in edo period.

where deku’s family has been serving bakugou house for generations and they grew up side by side but an accident took inko’s life and had deku sold into a pleasure house. the childhood friends were then separated but never forgot each other even as deku grew up and is train to be courtesan.

deku never truly accepted his fate and is always dreaming of a world beyond the gates of this ‘floating city’ where he can never step out of it again. now, his life is in the hand of those who buy and barter his body... but deku is also a terribly BAD courtesan bc he is just really clumsy, awkward and bad at the whole subtle seduction thing. when he started training and learning the arts of the courtesan everybody realize how hopeless he is and normally that mean they would have drop him from the training but he work so hard on it bc even when he doesn’t want this fate deku can see the value and effort of these men and women who make a good thing out of bad position and they have a strong sense of pride in their job even as society dismissed them for their occupation. these people of the pleasure house (from the owner, the servants, and the other courtesans) become a sort of make shift family for deku and he loves them so much and wants to make them proud bc they could have dropped him anytime and sell him somewhere else bc he’s SO BAD GUYS SOOOO BAD AT THIS. but they love his kind heart and this shy kid who is so determine and stubborn that they knew they couldn’t give him away.

SO YEA HE SET HIS SIGHT ON BEING THE BEST COURTESAN EVER FOR HIS ‘FAMILY’ W/O ACTUALLY WANTING HAVING TO ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH PPL which his master (the one who is training him and also the number one in their pleasure house) is like LOL cute, BUT YOU WISH KID. his master is always constantly worry about him bc how is he going to fare in this super competitive and harsh reality of the courtesan’s world if he refuse to take a costumer for the night but as he grew older and into himself, surprisingly he got a lot of suitors bc for all his terrible efforts at being the best courtesan (lacking all the grace, skills, and finesse of the job) his quiet sincerity and warm heart won a lot of people over. so 6 months before deku’s official debut as a courtesan which mean deku is going to have to take customers (which he had been dreading) and someone is going to buy his official first night.

during this time that deku is training to be a courtesan, bakugou had been searching for deku for a long looooong time, never forgetting the boy with the green eyes. so bakugou is the heir to his clan, a daimyos house that is only second to the shogun in military power, prestige, and wealth. he’s loud and abrasive but man does he get shit done and is always fighting with the shogun’s son (todoroki). he is part of the new generation of kids of important figures who are going to reshape japan and as one of the powerhouses that everyone recognize ppl have huge expectations for him so when the rumor of the son of the bakugou clan became smitten with an insignificant courtesan the entirety of the city is in an uproar.

so bakugou never visit the pleasure quarter bc he’s literally to busy rearranging the political landscape of edo (the old generation are traditional and want to keep it as it is while bakugou and his group of allies want changes and kick the old guard out), for his birthday they dragged him to to pleasure quarter for the first time and that’s where he bump into deku again. even all these years that they haven’t met as soon as red and green eyes meet, they instantly recognized each other. to bakugou’s horror the clumsy and useless childhood friend of his is a courtesan in training and much to deku’s eternal embarrassment he doesn’t want to face bakugou like this SO HE RAN.

bakugou eventually find him again in his pleasure house but bc deku is still a trainee he can’t ask for deku personally so he pay for deku’s master instead so deku HAS TO BE THERE. and the first time they actually meet deku is so frustrated with tears by all bakugou’s effort to see him bc he wants bakugou to forget about him cuz he’s going to debut soon and he can’t have any past attachments, that he punch bakugou in the face when bakugou started yelling at him for running away DESPITE THEM MEETING AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 YEARS.

which hilariously freak deku’s master out bc deku just punched the future head of the bakugou’s clan and the man who will become 2nd to the shogun. it did not calm deku’s master down when bakugou rises up and tackles deku to the floor and the next thing everyone see is the two of them wrestling like children until people start to pry them apart. the owner was told about all the commotions and came to apologize and about to send deku away bc obviously deku was the source of all the problem but bakugou level the owner a glare so ruthless it could cut a man down more than half his size. “if you dare touch deku and remove him from my side, i’ll rip this place to it bare bones to find him.” which is a dedication as any.

deku’s master is number one oiran in their house for a reason and told everyone to leave so the two can have a conversation in private which is never given bc bakugou is a costumer and deku is still a trainee and he’s NOT SUPPOSE TO BE ALONE W/ ANYONE let alone w/ a costumer. but everyone understood that this is important to deku so they let him have it.

with that time and space they managed to talk about their lost time and how deku got where he is now. deku admits that this isn’t the world he had dream of but he’s happy here with the ppl loves and cares for him and that they are his family now so bakugou doesn’t have to worry anymore he’s fine so bakugou can let him go now. bakugou is silent and eventually depart with the promise of coming back again to visit much to deku’s surprise???? he honestly thought that was the end of it bc bakugou had found him and know that deku is fine so why does he continue to be bother with deku anymore???!!!

so bakugou keep on going back to the pleasure quarter to visit deku and deku’s master play the interim by being the courtesan that bakugou’s request so he can see and talk to deku. the months come fast and hard and bakugou and deku slowly rebuilt their friendship till maybe something more but this also mean deku’s debut is coming closer and closer and deku will have to spend the night with someone. so even though deku’s heart belong to someone else he is going to give his body to another and that break his heart. he keeps it quiet and doesn’t tell bakugou so when his debut arrived and his pleasure house got a lot of efforts but with the help of his master, deku is guarantee to have a familiar face for his first night bc his master had arranged one of his regular customers to buy deku’s first night. this customer is someone deku had seen often enough while serving his master and they built a camaraderie b/t them that deku thinks he doesn’t mind it so much bc at least he knows the man will be gentle and kind to deku.

so when the night of his debut came, deku is mentally and emotionally prepare for it but also dreading it bc the one person he wanted isn’t beyond these doors. when he first step through and doesn’t see the face of the costumer his master had arranged but it turned out to be bakugou he is so shocked that he dropped to floors and cried. “hey, you’re going to ruin your make up and your master will yell at me for making you cry again,” bakugou murmurs as he crouch down next to deku’s trembling form.

apparently all of this was secretly arranged by the owner and deku’s master bc they love him so MUCH and was prepare to take a dent in payment if it mean deku was happy but bakugou had no qualm about throwing a fuckton of money buy deku’s first night.

“why are you here?” deku asks, once he’d stopped crying.

“bc if i didn’t pay for you nobody else would,” he grumbles as though DEKU IS HUGELY UNPOPULAR (which is a lie, there were a lot of offers but bakugou beat them to it lol).

anyway, they are still navigating the minefield of their feelings for each other so deku’s first night as an official courtesan??? THEY PLAYED CARDS AND GO ALL NIGHT LONG bc bakugou knows their first time won’t be force like this where deku’s emotion run high and he’s still a nervous wreck about it.

so from then on deku became a courtesan and is allow to take costumers now but!!! bakugou never let that happen. incidentally deku became the number 1 courtesan in his pleasure house after his master retire solely on the fact that of all the money bakugou invested in keeping deku from other costumers lololol. he quickly rises in rank in the pleasure quarter bc of it and became famous as the oiran exclusively owned is by the bakugou katsuki.

bakugou keep going to pleasure quarter to visit deku and since he can’t always leave his job behind he often bring his work when he’s spending a time or night w/ deku. which means deku become privy to the politics of the imperial court, underground rebellion against the shogun, and missions bakugou has to undertake and in doing so deku offer his advice and insight for bakugou which HELPS him tremendously bc deku spent more than half his life in this pleasure quarter so he knows all the best gossip and piece of information that flow in and out of the pleasure house and has all the shady connections bc how much ppl in there adore and are friendly to him. outside the pleasure quarter bakugou may be some one of import but here in this ‘floating city of hedonstice sins’ deku reigns supreme.

idk what happen next but im assuming that bakugou despite many LOUD protests from his inner family decide to buy deku out of his pleasure house and bring him outside where he hadn’t step foot in for a looooooong long time, bringing deku’s connections and knowledge of the seedy underbelly of edo with hi. bakugou eventually take him as spouse after a lot of trials and hurdles bc YOU CAN’T MARRY A FORMER PROSTITUTE WHICH BAKUGOU DISAGREE BC HE CAN DO WHAT THE FUCK HE EVER WANTS AND ALSO DEKU HAD ONLY TAKEN ONE COSTUMER ALL HIS ENTIRE LIFE AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO AS LONG AS BAKUGOU’S BREATHING.

so this is the story of how a prostitute became the spouse of one of the greatest figures of japan and the close personal friend of the emperor (i also assume deku wold eventually meet todoroki and they get along like a house on fire that bakugou get so pissed whenever he has to think about it lol).

#bakudeku #not!fic #whenever i think of deku decked out in full traditional oiran's attire #my mouth get wet and my hands get clammy he'll be so PRETTY OMG #courtesan au

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greeneyedgirls4 · 7 years

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The ex, the fight and the unexpected ending

Numbers request for anon for Seb (angst with fluff) - 27 “Oh, fuck off!” Y/N = your name.

Language and angst but fluff at the end. Feedback is always welcome and if you have a one shot request, storyline/character/real person or numbers request then please read here and feel free to get in touch with me anytime. Thanks for the request and enjoy! Sebastian Stan x reader. My masterlist is here.

“Ok I’m off.”

“Of course you are!” You shout back at your pig headed boyfriend.

“I told you I was going out tonight so I don’t know why your so upset.”

You turn to face Seb when you hear his footsteps stop at the living room door. “Well if you don't know why I’m upset then clearly your dumber than I thought. Just get out Seb.”

“Fine! Be like that.” He replies, slamming the living room door.

You breath a sigh of relief when he leaves. You weren't in the mood for an argument right now, all you wanted to do was sleep.

You took out your anger on the pillow that was sitting beside you on the sofa. Punching it with everything you have before ripping it apart with a knife. A very sharp knife.

Stepping into the bedroom you spot a letter on the bed. Opening the seal your heart sinks.

An hour later you hear the key in the door, sitting up in bed you grip the letter tightly. You see Seb walk into the bedroom with a large smile on his face.

“What is this Seb?” You whisper, holding the letter up.

You watch his face drop and his hand run through his hair. “I was going to show you it later.”

“Is later after you go out for dinner with your ex or when my parents divorce comes through?”

“Darling please..”

“Don’t darling me!” You shout, throwing the crumpled up letter at him and nudging your way past him. “You know what why don’t you just go back to your ex.”

“Maybe I will. At least she actually showed her true feelings to people!” You hear him say as you feel tears well up in your eyes. “I-I didn't mean that..”

“Oh, fuck off!”

“Darling..”

“I told you to stop calling me that!” You shout, turning to face him. You can see the tears in his eyes and it almost breaks your heart. Almost.

“What’s this really about?”

“It’s everything Seb! It’s you being away for months on end, me only getting to visit once every two weeks and even at that we still hardly get to be together. It’s you going out for dinner with your ex.. like who does that then not telling me about my parents getting divorced. A letter, a simple letter from them and you couldn't even give me that so yes Seb, it’s everything!”

You watch him take a step back as if your words have just sunk in. “W-Well what do you want to do about it?”

“It’s not just my decision Seb. We are meant to be a couple so we do things together.” You reply, your heart beating wildly in your chest at your own heartbreak.

“Maybe we should take a break. Give ourselves some breathing space.” He suggests and you can hear the weakness of his voice as he tries to hold back the tears. “I’ll stay with Chris tonight.”

“Good idea. I’ll get out of your way so you can get what you need.”

You watch him shuffle around looking for various items and all you can do is cry. You don't want him to go, you don't want to just give up because things have gotten a little hard. Maybe if you say something, anything then he will stay and you can go back to when it was all so simple. When you both could walk down a street without paparazzi following Seb. When he was able to be around more rather than working all the time and especially when you actually talked about things and didn't just sweep it under the carpet.

“From the ashes we will rise.” You hear him whisper before the apartment door closes and your left with your own thoughts again. He knew you loved that line from The 100. He knew everything about you.

Two days passed and Seb did what he said he would do. He didn't contact you and for the first time in a long time you didn't feel so suffocated with everything in life. The only problem was that you now felt like you were missing half your body.

Taking a seat in your local cafe you pull out your tablet and start reading the book you just bought. Your about to leave when you hear someone cough beside your table.

“Can I take a seat?” You hear the all too familiar voice say and before you can answer you meet the blue eyes of Chris.

“What do you want?”

“Seb said you might be here and I wanted to have a word.” He says, looking down at his takeaway cup before meeting your eyes again.

You sigh. “Did he send you?”

“No. No. I came because I’m worried about him.”

“What’s wrong?” You say, moving closer to him.

“He hasn't slept in two days y/n and he's barely ate. I know something has happened between you two but he's really miserable.” You watch as his face drops. “He was meant to be filming yesterday and I couldn't even get him out of the house. He just kept going on about how he's failing you and that you deserve better. I think he’ll get a bad reputation if he keeps this up.”

You shake your head and stand up, Chris following close behind. “What do you want me to do? He was the one suggested the break.”

“I don’t think he really wanted it.. as I know you didn’t.” You hear him say and you narrow your eyes at him. “I can see the red rims around your eyes plus the shorter nails on your right hand where you have been picking them. Seb said you do that when your nervous or upset.”

“Oh yes because Seb is so good at reading other people!”

“Please just speak to him..”

You think about it. You didn't want to go on a break. God you wild have talked to him the moment he came through the door but your anger was getting the better of you then. “He has five minutes.”

Arriving at Chris’ apartment was easy. He only lived a few minutes away and he had the car with him. You step into the living room and spot Seb sleeping in the corner. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“But he’s aslee-”

Before you can finish the sentence Chris is already closing the living room door and Seb is beginning to stir. You watch as his steel blue eyes open and lock on yours immediately. “Hi.”

“Hey. Chris said to come.” You say, taking a seat on the opposite sofa to him. You take in his dishevelled figure. Red rimmed eyes, tousled hair and baggy clothes is all that’s left of him now. “How have you been?”

He laughs and oh how you've missed that sound. “As you can see.. not very well.”

“Yea of course.” You reply, rolling your eyes at your own stupidity. “Chris said-”

“Don’t listen to Chris. He thinks he knows us both like the back of his hand.. and even that’s debatable.”

“I think he was trying to help.”

“Well he has his own problems. Him and Jenny split again.”

You sigh. “Must run in the friendship group.”

“It must do.” You both laugh when he smiles. “I was actually going to come and see you today.”

“Oh.”

You see him reach into his pocket and pull out a small box. “I was going to do this somewhere nicer obviously but I guess this will do for now.”

S-Seb..”

He kneels in front of you and opens the box causing your heart to stop. Inside lies a small silver ring. A large diamond in the middle and smaller diamonds surrounding it. Two gold bands intertwine and wrap around each other, making the ring circle complete. “I love you. Let’s start with that. I also want to spend the rest of my life with you y/n. I went to see my ex because do you remember me telling you that she also owns a jewellery shop?” You nod as a smile spreads across your face. “Well she had this specially made for you. I wanted it to be special.. just like you. I’ll ask you now but I can always ask you in a nicer place later so y/n will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

“Oh my god yes!”

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