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apupp3tw0-strings · 3 months

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The Crazy Part

Date: October 12th, 2131

Okay so wasn't able to finish telling what happened yesterday before I had to go to bed, but I barely got into what made yesterday so intense.

Usually when its time for CK and I to leave Castle Town and head home, we say goodbye to Spamton and Jevil and leave with Kris, while I assumed those two also went home (apparently not, unless you can call a garbage bin a house...). Today however, Spamton asked to come with us. Kris questioned him, mentioning that he'd turn into an item in the Light World. After that Spamton started begging, saying it was terrible whenever we left (at the time I thought like "oh, terrible like how you don't want to stop hanging out at your cousin's house" now I know that's not the case. Even if I didn't know Spamton was homeless and living on the street, can you tell how guilty I feel?) Kris mentioned something about if it was so bad, Spamton should've stayed in the inventory, to which it reacted even worse to. At this point Kris brought up the whole Darkners-becoming-items-in-the-Light-World thing before eventually deciding to show Spamton what would happen "the hard way". Yeeeeeeah, Kris isn't... the nicest? To these two specifically? Particularly Spamton but Kris doesn't like Jevil either. With Jevil though, he doesn't seem to mind, instead joking and ribbing Kris back.

Anyways, with both Spamton and Jevil in Kris's pockets (don't ask me how that works I don't know) we headed back home. Upon exiting the closet though, something... unexpected happened. Like I mentioned, Darkners are supposed to become items when entering the Light World. Spamton is actually a spam-email while Jevil is a joker card. The thing is, when we tumbled out of the closet and into the Light World. Spamton and Jevil... didn't. They didn't become items and remained Darkners. Kris is still confused and frustrated by this.

And that's when Papa and Auntie Toriel caught us.

After that there was... a lot. Papa said one of the words I'm not allowed to repeat and Auntie Tori fainted at least 3 times. Plus seemed like she was gonna faint the whole time we were all talking in the classroom. So um, yeah. Now our parents know about the Dark World. (Apparently Aunt Tori's been to a Dark World before because Kris opened one in their house sometime during their adventure, but she thought it was all a dream.)

Also after learning the state Spamton and Jevil are in (ie living on the streets, plus not mentally stable) Papa declared it was our duty to help them. He explained it to Dadaton as "rehabilitating them until they can get back on their feet". Aunt Toriel was initially hesitant and apprehensive, but eventually reluctantly agreed (mostly since Kris said they could watch and help out with Jevil as long as it was just him, to which Toriel said they weren't getting out of this doing any less.)

So long story short, Spamton's staying with us now! Which at first was exciting but then we quickly realized was gonna be... chaotic... He might've sorta, kinda,, accidentally blown up the living room with one of those blue eggs (which are apparently called "Pipis"), its okay though! We sorted it out and cleaned it up. I even helped Spamton write an apology letter to my dad! Er, well, made it write one because it was also a little inappropriate towards Dadaton and we were trying to convince him to not just throw Spamton out of the streets again. (Jeez Louise, this man's social skills are even worse than mine..)

Even if I've only known Spamton for a bit, he's already definitely proved to be... interesting to say the least. And raised a lot of concerning flags. If he wasn't always a puppet, what happened to him? Whats with the abrupt screaming of burning and Spamton's strange fascination with the sun? To the point of staring directly at it and the sky as soon as we were outside? Who exactly is this "strange someone" and why are they driving Darkners to madness? Do they relate to the strange man from my dreams? What's up with the Dark Worlds? Why do they exist and will CK and I encounter anymore apart from Castle Town? Who are the other "secret bosses"? Can we really help any of them?

There's so many questions, and the more answers I get, the more questions seem to pop up. Its both exciting and a little scary but in like the fun thrill seeking way. I feel regardless of what happens, this is gonna be the start of an exciting new chapter and I think it'd be a crime for me not to record what happens. Even if its mostly just for me to sort out my thoughts.

Call it... a sort or expirament, if you will? In darkness and seeing how much any of us can help these guys.

... On second thought, expirament's a bad word. Call it an adventure instead.

#chicago #deltarune au #deltarune: fool's fate #fool's fate #undertale au #undertale ish #writing #spamton #ck #comic kings #kris #jevil #toriel #papyrus

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flowered-mp3 · 30 days

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rant on friend drama lmfao pls ignore unless ur curious about my life ahhaha luv u all

my bf's friend group is a hot fucking mess - i hate it here.

i don't want to be like. that person but fuck, man. i've always been against have super super integrated friend groups where people date each other and get super close with their friends partners and something just happened yesterday that just adds to my distaste of it. i'm sorry, but i cannot be super close friends with cis-het men for a reason and this is why - it causes so much drama and confusion for both myself and the parties involved. i'm not saying that i, a cis-het woman shouldn't be friends with cis-het men but fuck, based on what i've experienced so far it's getting harder and harder to believe.

so summer 2023, someone in my bf's friend group (let's call her jess) arranged a cottage trip with some people (three couples, one dude)

myself

my bf

my bf's cousin (let's call him tyrone)

my bf's cousin's gf (let's call her steph)

jess

jess' bf (let's call him steve)

steph's friend (let's call him cam)

now, this friend group has been in existence before my bf and i started dating (so i'm the new person). additionally, there's another friend group that they're a part of that doesn't include me - let's call them the val group (because they're obsessed with valorant. idfk.) the val group is huge - people dating each other within it, they have a dedicated discord server, etc. my bf isn't super close with them but tyrone, steph, steve, jess, and cam are.

so jess organized a cottage trip with the seven of us and it was fun! i don't have a big social battery so it was a little tough for me because we were all staying in a small bnb with one bathroom lmfao but i did have a fun time with them all. i got to talk to them, get to know them better, and i liked to feel more integrated into my bf's friend group - it made me feel like less of an outsider.

before the trip, i heard from my bf that jess and steve were having some disagreements lately - jess frustrated that steve doesn't make enough time for their relationship, jess feeling that members of the val group are making her life more difficult (apparently, one of the girls that is dating jess' close friend within the val group is upset because jess plays val better than her, i cannot make this shit up lmfao) and steve isn't standing up for her, etc. etc.

flashforward to fall 2023 - my bf told me that jess and steve broke up. i talked to jess about it and it was an amicable break up - they both mutually agreed. she told me that there was alot of differences in how serious they took the relationship, apparently. steve didn't seem to be aligned with her seriousness. jess was making career moves, planning for her future and got frustrated when steve always seemed to be putting it off, never seeming to take their future seriously. they also lived kinda far from each other - i'm talking across the city type shit - solid 45 min drive to see each other. my bf and i are the same but it isn't a problem because we dedicate a single day during the week to see eachother, and we both drive. problem - steve doesn't drive. they've been dating 3 years and this man seriously never got his license, even after jess pushed him to do it. steve also had health issues (chronic knee injury) and never seemed to be concerned about his health, etc. jess expressed that he never took it as seriously as she did and if they consistently talked about it for 3 years with no result, that's it. the relationship is not pursuable anymore, imo. jess also expressed that the cottage trip just further showed her that steve wasn't doing boyfriend things - he would see the other boyfriends do things for their girlfriends and compared it to her own relationship, which did nothing but make the rift grow further between her and steve.

now here's where things get dicey. after the breakup, jess started to talk to cam more often. since we have discord, you're able to see what people are up to and it seems that they were doing things together, talking more, etc. i've also been to dinner with jess, cam, my bf, and myself without steph and tyrone. from the outside, this looks BAD. jess just broke up with steve and now the other friend (cam) that steve was already concerned about starts hanging out with his ex one-on-one? the optics are BAD on that one. and because the val group is filled with a bunch of assholes, they've been teasing steve about it. since steph is friends with steve, steve has been coming to her about how he feels about it. i feel so bad for steve here - it's not fair for him to get made fun of because his ex is moving on with someone within that friend group. but on the outside, jess looks BAD because it seems like she doesn't care about how steve feels and what's going on with him BUT LIKE. the val group sucks! they've been making jess' life hell to begin with. why that fuck would she have a regard for people that treated her poorly? additionally, she's also LYING to steph about where she is. steph asking her to hang and jess saying she's busy or tired, when in reality she's hanging with cam instead. what a mess. and what also sucks is that cam is straight up ok with it and instigating the conflict??? he's like "yeah it be like that dawg" but i'm like??? tf??? you're making it worse for jess? fucking idiot.

because steph knows that jess is lying to her, steph went to my bf to vent about it. do i feel good about it? no lmfao but it happened. essentially, steph expressed frustrations that jess was lying to her about hanging out with cam, and additionally, tyrone ALSO had a problem with the optics of the situation. but the hilarious thing is that tyrone and steph met when steph was dating another guy in the val group, and tyrone was straight up flirting with steph WHILE SHE WASN'T SINGLE. they were hanging out one-on-one while steph wasn't single. now for some reason, they find problems with what jess and cam are doing? steph and tyrone did the exact same shit to get together, and now suddenly when jess does it, they feel some type of way? RIDICULOUS. the second that steph broke up with the guy in the val group, she went on a group skiing trip with tyrone and shared a room with him within the week. and my bf was there to observe the whole fucking thing so my bf is upset because this is incredibly hypocritical (i agree like what the fuck). so because of all this, steph and jess' relationship is strained.

now flashforward to literally yesterday night. i went to an easter dinner at my bf's house and his whole family was there (so therefore, tyrone and steph were there as well). i was blissfully ignorant until after eating, i noticed that my bf and steph were like. nowhere to be found. tyrone was in the living room with his dad and i was busy playing with my bf's nephew so i was like huh idk maybe my bf's busy with his dad or something. he was gone for a WHILE. like a solid half hour. so i thought that i lost my glasses and remembered that i napped in my bf's room so i went upstairs to see if i left it there. then i overheard steph's voice and my brain was like uhhh wtf and i open the door to see my bf and her ALONE in his bedroom, door closed. she sounded like she was crying but i was so just. shook i guess that i just started to ask where my glasses were and left the room. i wasn't even visibly mad i was just. shook. so i just left and resumed what i was doing. eventually, my bf came out he knew that i felt some type of way because he put on his coat and asked to go on a walk away from the house. we sorted it out while talking outside but there's a reason why i'm mentioning this point lol. my bf said that steph was talking about a blow up that happened with jess but didn't mention specifics.

then literally 30 mins later, jess calls me. i missed her call so i texted her what was up and she said that she really needed to talk to me and that i cannot tell anyone that she contacted me. since her and my bf are close friends i asked if my bf knew and she said that she actually wanted to talk to both of us so on my drive home from his house we called and she explained everything.

apparently in jan/feb 2024 steve and jess had a couple of calls. steve reached out to jess wanting to "catch up" but apparently it was a call for steve to ask jess to get back together. jess explained that their relationship problems wouldn't be solved overnight (understandable), and that getting back together now wouldn't change anything. steve didn't like this, and now their break up that was amicable is now no longer amicable at all. now, rumors are being spread around that jess emotionally cheated on steve throughout the relationship, that jess has been trying to get closer to the guys only in the val group. and the fact that she became much closer to cam and my bf after the breakup just does nothing but fuel the rumors. because of that, my bf's name is also being dragged into the drama for ammo purposes and it fucking pisses me the fuck off.

apparently, steph did have a convo with jess about the whole situation, and how what jess is doing isn't "a good look". steph brings up a situation where my bf came over the jess' place to fix her pc and said that she shouldn't have had him alone in her bedroom. in reality, I was there in her bedroom along with cam and my bf, so she wasn't alone with my bf. but recall the situation that happened at easter dinner - she was LICHERALLY in a room alone with my bf. hypocritical? yes but to give benefit of the doubt, i think that this is a misunderstanding though because after, steph said that "if you're ok with hanging out with ___ (my bf's name) alone, you should be ok with hanging out with the guys from the val group alone." i think that steph is misconstruing things - perhaps questioning the favoritism for my bf? maybe steph is implying that jess is discriminating against the members of the val group? even when the val group treated her poorly? ugh. now my bf's name is being pulled up as an example of how jess is "purposefully" getting closer to the guys only, fueling the emotional cheating allegations. i know that it isn't true but it sucks regardless as his girlfriend.

so now, everything is a mess. my bf's friend group is in shambles and i know that this is weighing so much heavier on him than me. normally i wouldn't involve myself at all but this is my boyfriend we're talking about. anyone says shit about him and literally? it's on sight like mark your fucking days. now i also have my bf asking me why i don't deal with his kind of stuff in my friend group and literally i honestly believe that it's because i only have girlfriends and i don't strive to be bestie bestie with my friends bf's. we don't see it as proper so we normally avoid situations like this where people break up and all the complications that happen after the fact. like if i'm close with my friend's bf and they break up, it's bound to cause division within the group because people will take sides - it's unavoidable. i probably sound like such a cynic but it's how i feel based on what i've experienced.

and what sucks the most is that jess is genuinely my friend, as well as steph. it sucks that they aren't friends right now. it sucks alot. just.... ugh i hope that they can sort things out eventually but right now, everything is so tense and heated that it's impossible. my bf and i are kinda caught in the middle of it (my bf mostly though, steph hasn't talked to me about this at all). anyways. that's it for now.

#e.txt

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pumpkin-spiced-latte · 1 year

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Since quite a few people seemed to rather enjoy the six sentence post from yesterday I thought I'd post the entire scene

London, 1941

He spends his first day back in England in months on a train down to Devon, to visit the grave of Mama and Daisy, and the evening on his Aunt Fanny's old, faded sofa, listening to the news of his siblings and cousins, while Fanny promises solemnly to not tell his father about the visit. The journey back to London drags on and on, people on the tracks apparently, but once he reaches Kings Cross it’s a short walk to the Folly, where he trudges right up the steps to the lab they’ve given David for the duration of the war – however long that might be – crossing the room until he reaches one corner, where he can slide down to the ground between a metal cabinet and wooden workbench that had been pushed up against the wall, weighed down with copious amounts of notebooks and notes, some kept in boxes, some stacked precariously high, David’s thoughts spilled out over the paper. He hasn’t even taken the time to take off his coat and scarf, far too warm for the sweltering heat in the lab.

David himself only looks up from his experiment once he’s done, though Thomas has no way of telling what exactly he has finished.

“Are you quite alright, Thomas?” he asks and takes off his glasses to clean the round lenses with the sleeve of a dark blue jumper peeking out from under a lab coat that had once been white.

“Splendid,” Thomas grunts, and runs a hand through his hair, already messy from the wind outside.

David, who has had enough time to map out his responses over the years, slips out of his lab coat and approaches him, heaves a box from the end of the bench so he can sit next to Thomas, who rests his head against his leg. Almost immediately there are fingers combing through his hair, brushing a curl out of his face.

“Would you like to tell me?”

“Not particularly”

“I think you ought to"

“Later. Maybe"

“Your sister called,” David tells him instead, “she wants to see you. Stephen as well. They’re your siblings, you can’t avoid them forever”

“I know. I just – Just not right now. Can you tell Drina I'm still on the continent the next time she calls?”

“Somehow I don’t think she'll believe me. Especially considering Henry was on the continent with you and came yesterday. Victoria knows your on home leave”

“Curse the day your nephew decided to marry my niece"

“They’re children. Can you truly begrudge them some happiness"

Thomas sighs, rubs his cheek against the coarse wool of David’s trousers, closes his eyes. “No. That doesn’t mean I have to like it"

“I know. But still, please talk to her. I have a feeling every time we talk she likes me even less, and if she doesn’t hear from you soon she'll show up at Folly and castrate me for hiding you from her"

Thomas nearly laughs “We can’t have that, of course"

“Are you sure she doesn’t know?”

“Without a doubt. She’d be much worse if she knew about the sodomy. To both of us"

“Would you like to help me with some experiments?" David asks in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood, "I have some test tubes that need to be blown up"

“You know I'll gladly blow anything for you, Davey"

David laughs and pulls him upright, presses a quick kiss to his cheek. “I’m glad you're back home"

Thomas says nothing and lets David lead him towards the table he’d been working on when Thomas had arrived. The set up looks complicated, but most things David does in his lab are so far beyond Thomas’s comprehension that he no longer even bothers to ask.

Once more dressed in his lab coat David lines up two dozen tubes, “I think we’ll start with a simple werelight,” he says, “and go on from there”

He isn’t sure how much time they spent in the lab, Thomas performing various spells at David’s request, but when David sets down his pen, apparently satisfied with the results at last it’s already dark outside.

“You should go to bed, Tom,” David says and Thomas lets his werelight blink away, plunging the room into sudden darkness. Either there’s another power outage or David’s simply forgotten to turn on the lights again.

“I don’t even know where that is" He is a CO now and therefore, by Folly mechanisms, entitled to one of the rooms on the second floor, which he'll still share, but with only one other man. He'd rather crawl into bed with David, but, of course, that won’t be poss-

“In that case I have some good news for you. We're sharing until you leave again"

“Honestly?”

“Yes. Apparently most find me to be an insufferable roommate”

“Because you are, David”

“I beg to differ”

The room is bleak and unpersonal, except for an old photograph on the edge of the desk that also serves as David’s nightstand, now that another bed has been shoved inside and every unnecessary piece of furniture put up in the attic, of David and his brother, dead now for over two decades, killed in some trench in France, and a small stack of books he faintly recognises as some of David’s favourites. Waugh, Collins, Wells and the like.

None of it feels quite tangible and it might very well have been a dream, if it weren’t for the weight of David’s arm wrapped around him. No matter how lonely, how unhappy, he is, when he imagines David’s embrace it never feels real

“What are you thinking about, pumpkin?” David, already half asleep, asks.

If I die will you put up a picture of me as well? A neat little collection of the people you've lost, trod under England's heel?

“Nothing. Go to sleep"

David’s never been one who had trouble falling asleep, and after a few minutes he can hear him snoring, firm against his back, breath ghosting over Thomas’s neck. If he’d ever been such a sleeper he certainly is no longer, considering the things haunting his dreams, despite the sense of secruity and comfort David’s presence gives him.

He'll have to mess up the bed in the morning, he thinks, before the maid comes to clean the room, make it look as if he’s slept in it. He doesn’t know how long he stares into the soft shadows of the room, but it seems like he is lulled to sleep faster than he normally falls asleep these days

#rivers of london

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luninosity · 2 years

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Luni, I was just actually re-watching x-men and re-reading your fics and it dawned on me I haven't checked your page in quite some time and I missed your presence and decided to check tumblr...then I read the awful news. My condoleances to you and your friend's family 😔 Be strong, my thoughts are with you.

Yeah, we're still sort of...in...processing mode? Like, it doesn't feel real even now. But thank you! Thoughts, care, all of that - thank you. I sort of did the post here because I was trying to process - thank you all for helping. For listening. I love you. If you don't know, this is about the pretty big thing that just happened here - (I used to know how to do cut text here but apparently I don't know how right now)

Friend C - we shall go with C from here on out -

Like, Awesome Husband would not have his career without C. C hired him. (If you all don't know, Awesome Husband works for a JPL subsidiary manufacturing lab - like, where they *manufacture* the sensors etc that get put onto the shiny space things; Awesome Husband actually works in the IT department, so he is, as he puts it, in charge of keeping the internet/everything online running so the actual engineers can do *their* jobs, which I think is underestimating what *he* does, but anyway) (he also says please don't ask him about what the projects actually are, he just makes sure the lab is all internally humming along)

Anyway. C was the person who hired Awesome Husband. Who gave him his first real job, not an internship, which he'd had before.

We've been to C's twins' birthday parties. We went to Disneyland with him and his family...in like, 2019, the most recent time, pre-pandemic. C and his boyfriend at the time - not the one he married! and then divorced! we were at his wedding, too, and there for the divorce issues! - were at our wedding. (Yeah, it was a ride. There is some...tea...there, but not the point here.)

We were...less in touch on an everyday basis...after C left to start his own company, but Awesome Husband did some consulting work for them (actually, I did too! as a proofreader!), so we still, y'know - like I said above, we did Disneyland with him and his kids in 2019.

It's just. It's one of those things that. We thought - hey, we haven't got together in a while, of course, pandemic and all, but of course we will, of course -

And then he was in the hospital, and then we thought he'd be coming home - he posted optimistic social media things about being home for Father's Day! - and then, literally the day after that post -

As Awesome Husband said yesterday, it doesn't feel real yet. We weren't in, like, daily contact, anymore - so it's just this surreal feeling, like, we won't....ever?....get to?...anymore? ever again? like, we can't go, oh, it's been ages, can we meet up at Downtown Disney? we can't? do that?

I don't know. Awesome Husband said the worst part was having to tell his work colleagues, who, y'know, remember C before he left to start his company. AH had to tell the people who had kinda lost contact but had known C for like ten years. And he just had to...keep telling people, all day.

(Side note: the twins are with C's cousin, who was basically his sister - he was an only child, but close with her)

I...I don't even know how to end this post, honestly. I'm still doing all my daily life and job things - summer classes, and I am teaching my Monsters class - start tomorrow, or today if it's the 21st where you are - I've got two overdue book reviews, scholarly speaking -

I'm trying to get on with things. And thank you, for kindness. Thank you. It does matter. It always does matter: kindness, in the universe. Yes. Thank you.

Please do something you love, if you're reading this. Do something that makes you happy.

#answers #favoritedarkness #replies #life

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silentmagi · 1 year

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I posted 26,626 times in 2022

4,216 posts created (16%)

22,410 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@logo-comics

@virovac

@sweetmeatdale

@mrevaunit42

@rosemary-kitten

I tagged 4,325 of my posts in 2022

#fanfic summaries - 4,122 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 1,447 posts

#boku no hero academia - 985 posts

#my hero academia - 982 posts

#mha - 981 posts

#bnha - 981 posts

#marinette dupain-cheng - 706 posts

#izuku midoriya - 636 posts

#rwby - 376 posts

#princess tutu - 279 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#guess what the song is based on and give me a number 1-3 as a private message (no anon) and i'll send you a sample of something unpublished

My Top Posts in 2022:

(Mariposa AU) Mariharem x Revenge in "The Art Of Ruining A Career"

On an anonymous chat room, several teens met to discuss what to do with one rather... aggravating lying sack of manure. Lady Wifi, BoomBoxer, Queen Wasp, Vanisher, Riposte, and Chat Blanc were sick of their Lady Mariposa being attacked by this... XY... and wanted to get him to stop.

Vanisher's suggestion of making him vanish for good seemed a bit extreme, but so far it had the most traction, until Chat Blanc pointed out that Lady Mariposa wouldn't want harm to befall him.

They had to get revenge that she would approve of, or else they would risk losing their lady's favor. After all, she had asked BoomBoxer to save him.

They would ruin his career, in a way that wouldn't make her feel guilty. He was already doing half the work with his attacking a hero of Paris, the one that didn't have excessive property damage tied to her name.

Actually, she had made a deal with the city yesterday to championize a few civil engineers and construction crews to repair the city to code or better. Apparently Queen Wasp had an inside course with the mayor's office that she thought could be trusted implicitly. Lady Mariposa had even asked that the difference between the cost of labor from her champions versus the cost of having repair crews do the same be donated to specific, reputable charities.

It had been a week since the last Sentimonster, and they were trying to rebuild and regroup... especially since Chat Noir and Lady Mariposa responded to 48 monsters in two days, at one per hour.

That had to have taken a lot out of them.

So yeah... even if she was going to take the lumps, XY had picked the wrong target to mess with.

The chaos compels.

If you want to write one of these, please just link me!

28 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

Adrigaminette in: Bridal Blitz

Adrien and Kagame were glaring across the room, small boxes in hand. Marinette would be back with their snacks shortly... One of them would get to propose to her today...

29 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Fairy Tale RWBY: Fae Princess!Weiss & Woodsman!Ruby & Living Puppet!Penny in "Subtle Observations"

A tree following you in the middle of an empty field, a berry bush bearing fall berries in early spring that would creep after you in a flurry of rustles, and a rock that let out a squeal of panic as a snake slithered under it.

Penny and Ruby figured that they should probably just invite the Fae Princess along before she does something to get hurt.

The chaos compels.

If you want to write one of these, please just link me

30 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

Marinette x Bodyguard!Fei Wu - The Secret Protector

Marinette's safety was vital to the world, and more importantly to her adopted cousin, her family's happiness. So it was vital that she makes it to this party without injury.

Fei Wu was going to do it like the stealthy ninja she thought herself to be.

The chaos compels.

If you want to write one of these, please just link me!

34 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Suffering In Another World

During a trip to visit a friend, a person is sent to another realm, and he is less than thrilled with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Inspired by Dracula Daily, a travel log of a different adventure. With @logo-comics providing the responses.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39441543/chapters/98712513

Hey Logo,

It’s been about three weeks since I was last online. At least that’s what my somehow still charged phone is telling me. As you might have guessed by the flaming skeleton who gave you the letter, it’s been an interesting three weeks. I suppose I should start at the beginning.

I will admit that I frequently get lost when traveling, but even this takes the cake. I hope that you understand that first and foremost I was really looking forward to meeting you and hanging out together for a while. At first I thought that driving through Illinois was taking a lot longer than I expected, and then the paved highway turned into dirt roads.

I had pulled over in an attempt to check the map, when I noticed a complete lack of signal on my phone. I was about to drive away when the strangest thing happened. You know that scene in Jurassic Park where the T-Rex crushes the RV? I got to live it! Only the dinosaur could fly, breathe fire, and steal my car.

I fell out of the door that had popped open, and laid on the ground as the beast flew away with my car and all my stuff.

Laying on the road, I saw many things that do not exist in our world flying overhead, and somehow knew I wasn’t in Kansas any more. After a while, I got up and decided to find my way somewhere with people that could help me get out of here. I never thought that being a scout would actually pay off. My bout of reflection had at least given me an indication of what I’m calling East to West travel of the main sun. The smaller one seems to follow it, but I want to see a model of the system before I make the call on that.

That’s probably boring to you, so I’ll fast forward through me walking through several days in the woods, sleeping in tree branches, and finding out that those pack bonding posts were serious business. I had a pack of wolves that were following me for a while, and then the leader was before me. I’m guessing that it was the leader as it spoke to me, and had a horn crown thing.

. . . I’m just realizing that I’m an idiot and that was probably a druid.

Anyways, they guided me to some water to drink, and showed me some safe to eat berries. Then they helped me get to a town, where they explained that the local wizards botched some ritual or other, and a lot of outsiders were in the area. Anyways, after eating some amazing roast pork (I like meat, and a week and a half with nothing but nuts and berries anything tasted glorious), the town guard gave me a run down of where I could shack up while they settle things, but if I wanted to do something, they could use some help.

So I’m working with the wizards to clean up their tower, and learning enough about their alchemy and magic to review his notes. Apparently pointing out that he missed carrying a 1 in the reagents is enough to qualify me.

It’s an extra 5 gold a week, and I’m doing something that isn’t sitting with my thumb up my ass. Also, I’m able to write these notes, and have access to the skeletal postal services. He is supposed to stay until you send a reply, and don’t worry about paying him. I paid for the reply and gave him a tip. I hope that my family will send me the care package of spices and soda that I asked them for.

I hope like hell they can help me get caffeine before I go out and strangle the rooster that crows at like three in the morning. Otherwise, there will be spiced chicken for dinner.

I hope that this letter finds you well, and that you are not stuck in a world of asshole dragons that steal your car, jerk roosters, and druids that like to mess with you.

I also hope that the skeleton makes my story a little more believable, and that you forgive me for missing our meet-up. I hope that I’ll have more to tell you in my next letter.

Oh, where are my manners? How are you doing? Sorry about venting like that.

Please write back, I am believing this is all a coma dream and figure that as long as I have something to look forward to I’ll survive longer.

Silentmagi (apprentice)

77 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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colin-86sc2 · 1 year

Text

4/23/2023

i am tired breakfast was french toast (1 slice) lunch was chicken nuggets dinner was roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, and jell-o (product placement???(thanks grandma)) the day started with the cousins all wanting to play tennis so i got out the stuff and played some tennis that exercise induced asthma was kickin my butt again it was a lot of fun anyways, though they left around 3 to drive the 8 hours back to their place, and i feel sorry for them but i am now apparently their favorite cousin tomorrow i start work again, i am hoping dearly that i can handle it its the same amount of hours as my last one, but with one less day a week unfortunately another person working there will be someone i knew from my old job that tried to psychoanalyze me and not just that, he felt the need to tell me what he thought to my face without asking first so yeah other than that, im just waiting for a keychain, a new phone case, and a laptop then i get paid then i buy better work shoes than the ones my brother used when he was a pizza cook today i liked my willingness to go along with kids that can be difficult to do to that one person who liked yesterdays journal entry: my goodness your blog is dedicated i have to assume it was a mistake bc i am not evan peters

#journal #journal entry #journaling

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manwhacrossoverfamilybecauseyes · 1 year

Text

Romour has it

"Have you heard?"

Juvelian isn't one to eavesdrop, but she just can't help herself. Aylet is talking to Hari. Their voices are very hushed and barley hearable, but Juvelian will manage.

"What?" Hari sounds very interested.

Aylet chuckles. "Apparently, Felix Heylon and Irene Padalian are dating."

Hari gasps. "No way!"

The pinkette laughs. "Yes! They are seen together a lot, and they are really touchy." Aylet leans back. "It's confirmed that Lord Felix likes someone, or so I've heard from Miss Louise."

Hari gasps again. "He does? So that means it's true?" The younger girl shrugs. "Miss Louise told me that sir Yuri told her that sir Noah overheard Irene tell Melissa that she likes Felix." The silver haird girl nods.

"My sister, Yona, told me that Irene and Felix are very close." Hari looks up. "Perhaps it's true."

Juvelian can't believe it. It can't be right? Not when Felix seeks her out all the time and always treats her nicely. Not when he smiles at her so much. Not when he looks at her in that way.

Not when he told her that he liked her.

"Juvy!" Jeanette calls out. Right, Juvelian told her she'd be gone only for a little. The silver haired girl jumps up and rushes to her brunette friends side.

Jeanette brightens up when she meets Juvelians blue eyes. "There you are! I thought you ditched me." Cayena klicks her tongue. "Us. I thought you ditched us." Jeanette corrects herself.

Cayena grabs Juvelians wrist. "Let's go, the show is about to begin!" The two girls of obelian nobility drag Juvelian to the magic department battle grounds.

Just yesterday was Juvelian super excited. Felix had asked her to cheer for him, but now all she can think of is him and Irene.

She knows that it's probably just baseless romours. The children of two very powerful families are always great to pair up after all.

But why not her? Juvelian is a princess. Felix spends most of his free time with her. She'd be perfect for the job as his girlfriend.

"It's Jeremy!" Jeanette's exited voice pulls Juvelian out of her thoughts. Right, the agriche boy is Jeanette 'boyfriend'. "Hi! Do your best!"

Cayena rolls her eyes. She obviously couldn't care less. "Even if he does his best, the chance of him winning against the helion boy is small to non at all." Says the blond.

Juvelian nods. Felix is amazing. He had mastered shape shifting magic already in his first year at the academy. That's level four magic!

"Don't be like that, Yeny! I can still cheer for him." Defends Jeanette.

Cayena rolls her eyes. "Sure, just don't cry about it when he loses."

Maybe Juvy should say something. Tell them not to fight, but she's bored, and the idea of them fighting is cheering her up just a little bit.

He eyes wander through the grandstands. She recognizes Claudia almost immediately. Next to the white-haired girl stands one with brown hair and bright golden eyes. Both seem to be chatting about something very excitedly.

"Is something wrong?" Asks Jeanette concerned. "You seem kinda out of it."

Juvelian looks onto the ground. They're her friends, she can tell them. "I heard a romour." As soon as the words leave her mouth, she feels stupid. Trusting a stupid romour with no real evidence except for the fact that Irene might like Felix. How old is she? "No, forget it."

Cayena shakes her head. "I won't. It's bothering you, right?" Juvelian nods. "Good, then tell us."

Juvelian takes in a deep breath. "Do- Would you say that me and Felix are... Well, you know..."

Both of the other girls look at each other and then shrug. "Not sure what you mean."

The silver haired girl plays with the skirt of her uniform. "Dating. Would you say we could be considered to be dating?" The cousins once again look at each other, but this time they nod.

"Yeah, it sure sounds like you are. Why?" Cayena seems interested now. She always liked drama as long as she wasn't involved.

"Like I said earlier, I heard a romour." Juvelian leans closer to the railing. "Apparently, Felix and Irene Padalian are dating... But that can't be right?

Jeanette shakes her head. "Of course not!" She pats her friends shoulder.

"Unless he's two-timing," Cayena chimes in.

Jeanette gasps and hits Cayenas shoulder. "How could you say that!"

Cayena isn't wrong. It's just that Felix isn't the type of guy to do that. He isn't. Juvelian refuses to view that as a possibility.

When Juvelian looks up, her eyes meet those of Irene. The brunette smiles before looking back at Claudia.

A pang of jealousy bubbles up in Juvelian. She never talked to Claudia. It's kinda unfair. Why doesn't Felix introduce her?

Perhaps he is two-timing?

No, not Felix. Erudian would never be friends with a guy like that. There is no way. "Look, it's Felix!" Jeanette laughs.

The silvernette looks down to the ”battlefield“. He looks through the stands and smiles as soon as he meets Juvelians eyes. He winks at her.

Not at Irene.

It feels like she's winning. Juvelian smiles back at Felix. She then notices a weird expression on his face. Did something happen?

"It's unfair!" Jeanette is complaining again. "How come Felix keeps winning? Jeremy trained so hard!"

Cayena rolls her eyes. "I told you not to complain when he loses."

Juvelian laughs. "Felix is just talented."

Cayena hums. "Also, he was being cheered on by his two girlfriends."

Jeanette glares at her again. "Don't listen to her, Juvy! I'm sure the romours are based around a misunderstanding and have no actual ground!"

The girls leave the stadium. In front of it stands Felix... With Irene.

Juvelian feels a knot in her throat. Irene is blushing at Felix, who doesn't seem very bothered by it. Jeanette looks at her friend with concern.

Juvelian balls her hands to fists. She's not going to run away from it. Maybe she misunderstood, but if she didn't, this would mean that either he's cheating (which is unlikely) or that this girl is trying to steal her boyfriend.

So Juvelian walks over when something hits her. They aren't dating. So Felix wouldn't be cheating. He's not doing anything wrong. He never clarified in which way he likes her.

Maybe she's doing something wrong?

"Juvelian!" It's Felix's voice. He seems happy as he walks up to her. Irene is following close behind him with a confused expression.

Felix wraps his arms around the younger girl and whirles her around. "I won!" He looks so happy. Like he wants to be praised.

Juvelian laughs. "Yes, you did." She pats his head. "I knew you would, but it was still amazing."

She looks at Irene. The brunette just stands there, a little sad and jealous. Juvelian feels a little bad. "Lady Irene, correct?" She asks.

Irene looks surprised and nods. "Yes! You must be Juvelian, Erudian's little sister, right?"

Juvelian nods. "Yes, correct. My brother told me about you."

Irene blushes a little. Juvelian suddenly wonders if she is just a very blushful person. Perhaps she doesn't even like Felix?

"I hope he only told you good things." The golden eyed girl laughs akwardly. Juvelian nods with a bright smile. Erudian did talk nicely about her.

Felix coughs to get the attention back on him. "I apologize, lady Irene, but I want to talk to Juvy." The silvernette looks at him, surprised. He usually doesn't use her nickname in front of others.

Irene backs away. "Alright! I'll see you tomorrow, Felix!" Her voice is so forcefully joyous. It doesn't seem like Felix realizes it.

Felix waits until Irene is gone. Juvelian turns around to tell her friends to leave them too, but they are already gone. She wonders when they left.

Felix pulls her closer and leans his head on her shoulder. "You seemed angry earlier." Is all he says.

Juvelian is a little embarrassed as she shakes her head. Why did he have to notice? "I wasn't."

Felix hums. Juvelian hugs his shoulders. She's afraid he leaves. It's not reasonable, she knows.

"In a relationship, you need to communicate, remember that, alright?" Her mother's voice reminds her. A deep sigh escapes her.

"Felix... I- It's stupid. I know that." She starts, and Felix shakes his head. "If something bothers you, it's not stupid."

She smiles. He's always like that. "I heard a romour. Apparently, you and Lady Irene are dating." Felix laughs. It's loud and joyful.

It takes a while, but he stops eventually. He then looks up to meet Juvelians eyes. "Never. I like you, not her." Juvelian can feel herself blushing. Does this count as a confession.

"Me too. I like you too."

Felix nods. "I know that." He kisses her forehead, then her cheeks, and then her forehead again.

Juvelian wraps her hands around his neck and pulls his lips onto hers. "Kiss me here." Is what she says. She watches with satisfaction as he goes red like a tomato.

He clears his throat and does as he's told. "If you want me to."

Juvelian feels like she's floating. It's crazy that all it took for him to kiss her was asking. Now that she thinks about it, it was obvious.

Someone else clears their throat. "Felix." It's Erudian, and he doesn't sound happy. Within seconds there is a lot of space between Felix and Juvelian.

Felix smiles in a terrified way. "Hello, my best friend, the man who'd I trust with my first born, the man i would trust with my life."

Erudian sighs in a way that makes you think he lived for decades and has seen all the bad in the world. "Get your hands away from my sister and disappear."

The younger man nods wnd salutes. "Ay ay sir."

C h a r a c t e r s a r e f r o m:

Aylet(a transmigrators privilege)/Hari(Beware of the bothers)/Jeanette (Who made me a princess)/Cayena(The villainess is a marionette)/Juvelian (Father i don't want to get married)/Felix & Irene & Claudia(I have become the hero's rival)/Erudian(Seduce the villain's father)

⟨Manhwa Crossover Family Trees⟩

⟨Felix x Juvelian Family - Masterlist⟩

#manwha family crossover #manwha #felix x juvelian #gues who my favorites are #correct it's edwin x irene #anyways #unrequited feelings #not juvys or felixes though #gossip because ofc there's gossip #i love irene but i have to fo it #it's for thier future #winchester school au

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the-cadent-roses · 2 years

Text

Goodbye World

September 30th 2022 (214)

._+ Mis-eye-ventures Day LXVII +_.

Late at night my nephew and I were chatting, going through some deep stuff. I played a randomized Gorillaz playlist (which we both love), and got some random but timely song choices, amongst them "The Pink Phantom", which lyrics hit hard and close home.

"I tried to say I love you

But you didn't listen (summer nights)

I tried to give you everything you might need (summer nights)

In a sky made of diamonds

And where the world is flawless

I'll be waiting for you on the other side"

It is most definitely cliche and corny, but the day it came out, I was at a really low point, after a then recent, devastating separation, and the whole mood fit like a glove.

***

As movies now premier in the middle of the week, my nephew had clases early in the morning. I got up, commanded him to shower, whilst I got some breakfast done. He was well nourished and ready once my cousin came to pick him up. He is a really nice kid, but sometimes his actions towards her sister and my cousin are a bit tricky. As if he were mad and incapable of processing his damaging emotions.

***

Taking advantage of my early awakening, I went with my mom to her job, then I took my chance to walk back home, I tried with a new route, which allowed me to enter the Bazaar I mentioned a few entries back. It is a fantastical place. I found some old CDs, books and more. Plus, I could get my freshly arrived friend some gifts. As a cherry on top, I found a match box between some forgotten books, it has the name of a Mexican restaurant, with an English Slogan and a German address... I'm highly confused and I love it.

***

I kept the walking going, at least to the nearest metro station. Then. Headed again to the Vans store, jn order to pick the sneakers (hopefully). Apparently his size is still unavailable, but his girlfriend's (?) is, so on his orders, I bought to different models for her. They both shine in the dark.

***

I went south to meet my Uni friend, whom have arrived yesterday (I think) from Spain. He had a card holder and a notebook for me, both with the map of Madrid's metro system, I love them to death. He also got me a little car, full metal and moving parts, a great little thing. I got him an old CD, from a 2000s pop band, a rare encounter, as well as beautifully illustrated book on cactus care-taking. We met in a little japanese-themed store, so we could get oir hand on some Gachapons. After much deliverance, we sided for the hide-and-seek Moomin collection. I got Mama-Moomin, he got Child-Moomin, or just Moomin. We ate some meat nearby and I rushed back north to catch my family for an oddly deranged dinner.

~Roses~

Here are the full lyrics:

"You've more or less forgotten me this summer

I can't hide my disappointment

I was on my way in the Phantom V

The one you gave away

Try to tell you that I love you but I'm choked up

You forgot and that makes me feel like no one (summer nights)

Were you even really there?

Did you ever really care?

Wait, I got so many examples of all of the good times we had

Long summer nights (summer nights)

Held you a long time, put your name in my rhymes

Refresh your memory of where you wanna be

The Phantom's on the way, she's comin' down the street

I tried to get to Atlanta

On a peach blossom highway

I'm tryin' to put these puzzles out of mind

In a sky made of diamonds

Where the world fell silent

I'll be waiting for you on the other side

Summer lights (everyday, everyday)

Sometimes (ride where the summer goes)

Summer nights

Every night

Summer nights

I tried to say I love you

But you didn't listen (summer nights)

I tried to give you everything you might need (summer nights)

In a sky made of diamonds

And where the world is flawless

I'll be waiting for you on the other side

Of summer lights, summer lights

Hold it in for a long time

Summer lights, seems to me I'm in a dream

Behind these summer lights

The Phantom is coming

You forgot and that makes me feel like no one

She's crossing over the line

Wait, I got so many examples of all of the good times we had

Seems to me I'm in a dream (long summer nights, I loved you a long time)

(Put your name in my rhyme, refresh your memory)

Behind these summer lights

(Of where you wanna be, the Phantom's on the way)

(She's comin' down the street)

Sometimes"

0 notes

crazybigredlove · 2 years

Text

6th August 2013

Dear Pete,

Going to contact Interpol and report you as a missing person so that some Good Samaritan in a faraway land will let me know whether you're still alive or not. Not entirely sure if that's how it works or whether it should be someone with a slightly higher social standing than myself, but I'm going to give it a crack. Christopher is in the habit of appearing in my bedroom doorway each night to tell me his latest thought about where in the world you might be. Spoiler: Mostly it involves a lot of alcohol and scantily-clad women with liberal views on sex. We both agree that the most likely scenario is that you're in Italy and lying low with your cousin. The only flaw in that is that with your family being the way they are, I fail to see how you and Sofia could've kept it from your aunts or your mother. Remembering her wily ways from our younger days of everyone I know she'd be the one I'd back to pull it off, but even she's not that good. Is she?

Slight change today though as Christopher he announced that you're on the run from some crazy types that you owe a fortune to. Asked why they wouldn't have been round the house looking for you or at least looking for information regarding your whereabouts. That silenced him for a while. Your brother is still as good looking as ever, but as your disappearance stretches out there is sadness in his eyes that I haven't seen before. He even approaches the weekends with less enthusiasm. I did tell him it's only been five weeks and he needs to man-up, but that probably didn't really help. If I didn't know better I'd think he had separation anxiety like when pets are separated from their owners. I mean, it's not like he's been crying himself to sleep at night (that I know of) but the two blondes messaged him tonight for a repeat performance of the show I briefly witnessed yesterday and he didn't even reply to them. Don't worry, I'll find a subtle way to check if he has a fever and if necessary seek medical opinion.

Sorry if my tone of late has been a tad morose. Sad as I am about the Big Red situation, mostly it's sadness related to why it bothered me so much. Photo came through this morning while I was at work of him with a coffee in his hand and surrounded by friends. Asked him if he'd like to call in to to say hello or I could duck out for a coffee. Apparently he was too busy. He did call though and we had another funny chat on the phone. As much as I laugh when he's around the second he's gone it's all staring at the phone, anxiety, and alternating between binge-eating and feeling nauseous.

Shouldn't be upset, I mean, I wrote the list at the start because I could see that this was a very real potential outcome from a guy like him, so how come I can't walk away? Is there some weird competition/challenge/must-win-this thing going on here on a subconscious level? Am I using Hollywood movies to justify hanging in there longer so I can prove some strange point to myself that I'm not even aware of yet?

The Czech has already messaged today to thank me for last night, but the guy I'm dating really isn't fussed one way or another. Big Red has promised that we will spend the whole weekend together, so am probably being a total prima-donna for no reason. "Relax, little Liv," I can hear you say. Have managed to mostly hide all fifty shades of my crazy from him. If this doesn't work out (and it's certainly looking like it's headed in that direction) then it might be in everyone's best interest if I take a break for a while. If you're so desperate for me to do online dating then you should have to experience its pain yourself.

Do you think that you can know in the briefest of moments? I realise this is a silly question as obviously I don't feel that way about him, but if you can know in the briefest of moments that you could care about someone, but then they don't care about you in return, how the fuck are you meant to be able to pick the ones you should care about? How do you possibly tell one from the other?? Do you know what I mean? Hollywood tells women that men change, that they come back, that if they treat us bad we need to hang in there until they get their shit together. If that's the case there are a LOT of men who are going to be making reappearances in my future. And can you also really tell in a moment that someone will hurt you as I predicted? Or is it more of a self-fulfilling prophecy on both counts?

Oh God. I'm having emotions. Real ones. Lots of them. Am not okay with this, not even a little bit. Oh no. How do I make it stop?

This is not okay. I have no desire to be a pathetic damsel in distress obsessed with a man after only one week. While something special could have been born of this (you know, if you squint your eyes the right way, tilt your head to the side, and then smack yourself with a hammer), clearly we already broke it because the fun has vanished. Love doesn't feel like this.

It's okay. Without being dramatic I know what's happening, so I'm going to own it. I've been here before. He's met someone else.

If I don't ever hear from Big Red again it won't matter because I am going to put all my time and energy into something else. Like becoming CrossFit world champion. Or, is there a cupcake eating world record? I'm also prepared to take a shot at that title.

Either way, I'm sure the world will keep turning if I can just calm my brain and anxiety a little... If you have any suggestions on how I might be able to do that, now would be an excellent time to let me know.

Liv x

0 notes

herunstablelogic · 12 years

Text

Dear Baby,

Most girls are positive that they want to have kids; most adore them. I, however, have never enjoyed babysitting, never have I thought a child was adorable, let alone innocent. Most would say that I hate kids. Of course, that might be a different case once I have my own, but the odds that I will even have the chance to become pregnant are close to nothing. Not for the reason that no one would sleep with me, but because I am scared half to death of the very thought of lying with a man. Even this very topic is uncomfortable for me to write about. Personally I’m not exactly sure about my reasoning behind my fear of male genitals, possibly the disgusting look and stench about them, but I do know that for me to even allow a man to get close enough to me, in that manor, I would either have to be drugged, drunk, or completely in love. If anything, it would be either of the first two. You can see now why I doubt that you will ever exist, yet still I am writing to you. Maybe, deep down, I know that you are somewhere in my future. I want to share with you an event that occurred with my ex-boyfriend, JP.

At his place and making out, he wanted me to touch his dick and I, being scared to even look at one, retreated and kept shaking my head and saying I didn't want to. The next thing I know I'm on the floor and he's on top of me. He's so close I can feel his breath on my neck as he says on repeat, "You know you want to let me, I want you so badly" while sliding his hand under my shirt. Not knowing what to do I curled into the fetal position and started to sob. That's when he stopped for a second, thinking he heard his parents walking toward his room. When he went to go check if they were coming, I ran out the back door and down the road and just kept running until I started to feel tired and light headed.

I had no idea how to get home from his house, especially on foot. It would take me all night even if I did know. I just kept walking, crying, and trying to forget what just happened instead of process it. I wasn't it to disappear, I didn't want to feel that unsafe again.

A car started to make its way toward me, with its high beams on and I could feel my heart start to race. As the car stopped next to me I could see it was JP's older cousin, Robert. I got in his car and when he asked me what happened I just stayed quiet and complained about how badly my head hurt from the bright lights from crying so hard.

Eventually I told him what happened. He was shocked JP would do something "like that", especially since he apparently begged him to find me worried about me. I don't think he even believed me, he didn't seem to the whole time as he drove me home and dropped me off.

The reason I shared that with you is not to scare you into avoiding guys, but to warn you. The people that you think you can trust usually end up being the very people you shouldn’t. It was always my luck that I put my trust in those that would only screw me over in the end. I ask of you not to do the same and beg of you to listen to my judgment and at least consider my own advice on the boys or girls -depending on your gender- that you bring home. Baby, I don’t want you to be scared to lay with your future husband or wife like me.

This also brings me to the topic of Kevin once again. I don’t believe I told you before, but I told him off later in December last year while I was in Arizona with my dad visiting my family on his side for the first time. It was on New Year’s, he had just told me that his resolution was to shape up, I told him that it should be to never fuck up another girl’s life again. We haven’t spoken since. Part of me is relieved, the other is heartbroken. Yesterday I spent the whole day cleaning and doing laundry. Of course, I woke up at one in the afternoon, but thanks to daylights saving it ended up being two in the afternoon. My entire room is spotless. Being in a clean room gives me a better feeling, I feel better about myself and less sloppy and lazy. It’s funny how your environment can influence your mood without your notice. That’s why I always have to have things clean and organized, if not, I won’t be able to get things done and feel accomplished at the end of the day.

#letterstoyou #coercion #internalized homophobia #attempted assault

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rowanaelinn · 3 years

Text

Slipped away - chapter one

prompt - single parent @rowaelinscourt

“It’s cold,” Fenrys complained, sitting on Rowan’s new couch.

“We are in the north, you dumbass.” Lorcan snapped. “Of course it’s colder than what you’re used to.”

“Doranelle is in the North too.”

Lorcan took a deep breath, apparently, he wasn’t feeling very patient today. “I don’t know, Fenrys, it might be because we are on a whole other continent, maybe?”

Rowan snorted at his friends, Fenrys was playing dumb just to annoy Lorcan and as always, it worked. They were enjoying their last day of rest before their first day of work tomorrow. It wasn't a new job, not really. The company they worked for had just moved from Doranelle to Orynth, and of course, Rowan and the other employees had to move too.

Rowan knew that with the opening of the new Valg Industries headquarters the next few months would not be smooth sailing, but he believed in himself. Maeve was so confident that she even promoted him. It was a new beginning for Rowan and he was happy about it, his life in Doranelle was the perfect definition of dull. Not that he hated it, he was just glad to be away from his cousins. He didn’t hate them, they were just so… meddlesome.

Rowan walked into his kitchen and opened his fridge, empty. He cursed under his breath. The few bottles of beer he had last night ran out very quickly, they didn’t even have leftovers of the pizza they ordered yesterday. Which was a problem because Rowan was starving and there was no way he would order food for the second night in a row, it had already bothered him to do so yesterday.

He checked his watch, six in the afternoon. He was pretty sure the grocery store didn’t close before seven, he had little time if he wanted to go there. He needed to be quick. “Going shopping, be gone when I come back,” Rowan told his friends as he picked his car key. He needed some time alone but he knew they would probably still be there when he came back, his friends weren’t ones to listen.

He slammed the front door behind him and got into his car. It still smelled new, the leather still a little too stiff under Rowan's body. He had gotten the car yesterday, he had decided that if he was going to change his life, he would do it all the way. Nothing in his life in Doranelle set foot in Terrasen except his friends and his job.

Rowan lived in an upscale residence in downtown Orynth. Between his family's money and the money he was making even before he was promoted, he could afford it. He didn't want to live in the apartments that the company offered to its employees, he needed some peace and quiet.

So Rowan took a house that was too big for him, in a suburb full of family, as if he wasn't almost thirty and wasn't still alone. He had never felt so out of place, but he would get used to it.

He had chosen the opposite of the life he had until then, wanting space. He had left to forget.

When he pulled into the grocery store parking lot, Rowan could have sworn he saw a familiar face. He blinked and it was gone, he shook his head. How could he recognize anyone if he had never been to Terassen? He needed to sleep.

He got out of his car and shivered slightly. Maybe Fenrys was right, it wasn't cold but it was definitely colder than Doranelle at this time of year.

He walked into the store, it was large. Everything in Terassen looked big. The houses, the buildings, the stores... Rowan could get used to it.

He took a basket from the entrance and went straight to the vegetables. The store was almost empty considering the time of day, he could hear a couple of kids laughing in the background but otherwise, everything was quiet. It felt good to be away from the world.

He selected enough vegetables for three days, preferring to shop for short periods rather than a whole week. It made less mess and allowed him to control what he ate. That's one of the things he needed, control.

"Gotcha!" He heard a woman's voice laugh rather loudly.

"Noooo!" A little girl said and Rowan heard her laugh and ran. Gods, children were loud.

A few seconds later, something hit Rowan's legs. He looked down to find a little girl. She was a brunette with blue eyes. She laughed and stood up. "Sorry," she said before running off again to lose whoever was trying to catch her, but it was too late. A tall blonde lady came running up and threw herself on top of the little girl, grabbing her under the arms and throwing her over her shoulder. The little girl screamed with laughter and tried to struggle as the adult spun around. "Stop!" the child screamed but continued to laugh.

Rowan felt like he was intruding but he couldn't stop the tip of his lips from rising slightly. The adult stopped spinning but did not let go of the child, the little one wrapped her arms around the woman's neck and hid her head. "Hey, little monster, did you apologize?" She asked, her eyes still on the little one. Rowan couldn't see her face with the hair hiding it. "Huh?" She shook the little girl slightly but she refused to look at her.

"She did," Rowan said, not wanting the little girl to get into trouble. When the woman looked at him, his heart stopped beating and his whole body froze. It was impossible.

Did the gods hate him that much? What had he done to them for them to punish him like that?

Her eyes widened and he noticed her body going still, her hold around the girl tightening. Her mouth opened and then closed.

As he had been years before, he was struck by the intensity of Aelin Galathynius’s gaze. These blue and gold eyes were mesmerizing, had always been and always will.

His only thought was that she looked older, but since he had last seen her when she was nineteen it wasn’t surprising. She looked like a woman now, and womanhood suited her. She was wearing a white shirt and black skirt, a simple outfit for a working woman, and yet Rowan couldn’t help but stare longer than necessary at her body. If she had been beautiful seven years ago, she was magnificent now.

He wanted to punch himself in the face, so much work to forget about everything that happened, so much work to ignore the guilt and pain just to be ruined by a meeting in a grocery store.

“Rowan,” she breathed.

“Hi, Aelin.”

The little girl looked at him and he noticed everything she had in common with Aelin. Her eyes first, and the same nose and lips. They looked so similar.

Suddenly he was struck by the truth standing in front of him. While it had taken everything in him to try to forget about her, Aelin had moved on. And she had a daughter. Aelin had a life and if the laugh she let out a minute before was any indication, she was happy.

“What are you doing here?” He blurted.

A snort. “What am I doing in a grocery store?”

“In Orynth.”

“This is my hometown.” She said, her voice so tight he couldn’t guess what she might be feeling. It had always been so damn hard to read her. Orynth was her hometown? How come he never knew that? He knew she was from Terassen, her accent betraying her, but didn’t know exactly where. He knew so much about her but at the same time so little. That little truth hurt. “What are you doing here?”

“I moved. For work.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Fuck, that was awkward. “How old is your daughter?” He asked, nodding toward the small girl playing with Aelin’s hair. Aelin looked at her and her expression softened a little.

“Oh, no. She isn’t my…” She took a deep breath. “She’s Aedion and Lysandra’s daughter. I’m just babysitting for the night.” Right, Aedion. That’s why the small girl looks so much like Aelin. “Remember Aedion?”

Of course, he did, last time he saw the man Rowan got his nose broken and a black eye. He wouldn’t forget his old friend so soon. But Rowan didn’t care about that, right now he only cared that Aelin, in fact, didn’t have a daughter. It was easier to breathe suddenly. “Yeah.”

“But she’s four,” Aelin said and he knew it was only so she had something to say. Talking was awkward but the silence was worse.

Before he could say anything else, someone interrupted them by hitting Aelin’s legs, hugging them. This girl was blonde, Ashryver blonde. Gods, how many children did Lysandra and Aedion have?

The youngest paused on the ground and did not waste time before leaving from where she came. Aelin seemed to forget Rowan's entire existence as she knelt down to face the child, though she looked even tenser than a few minutes before.

"Hey, pumpkin, what's going on?" She asked softly, delicately taking the girl's grip to force her to look at her. "Tell me."

"Asper pulled my hair!" The girl cried and Aelin smiled.

"Did you try to tickle his neck?" She asked, making Rowan choke. Aelin didn’t spare him a glance. He wanted to ask her why she wasn’t punishing this Asper for pulling hair but he guessed Aelin would beat him up if he questioned how Aedion chose to raise his children. “You know how sensitive he is.” She smiled at the child. The girl sniffed heavily and Aelin used her sleeve to dry her tears. "Go back over there, I'll be there in two minutes." The child nodded briskly and before she left, she turned her head to Rowan.

His blood ran cold as green eyes fixed on him.

She looked like Aelin on the little one before, of course, but not only that. Did she... No. Lysandra had green eyes too. Rowan could have sworn that Lysandra's eyes were much lighter, but he hadn't seen her in seven years. He was wrong. He had to be wrong.

"Hi!" She said with a big smile. She was missing a tooth in the front, but that didn't take away from her charm.

Rowan swallowed, "Um, Hi." He managed to smile but he couldn't help that she looked too little like Lysandra.

“Are you a grandpa?” The girl asked and Rowan choked. “Only grandpa has grey hair.” She smiled and looked proud of herself. Silver, his damn hair is silver, not grey.

"Go ahead, Helia," Aelin said before Rowan could answer, her voice firm. She pushed the little one toward the alley away from Rowan. Aelin stood up when the little one was gone and his eyes shot to hers.

"It was nice to see you again," she said but he knew she was thinking the exact opposite. Rowan's heart was beating so loudly that Rowan could hear it pounding in his ears.

"Aelin," He called to her, stopping her in her tracks. " Just how... How old is she?"

"Bye, Rowan." Her voice left no room for questions, but he didn't care. He didn't care about what happened in college and now wasn't the time to start.

"Answer me." Not a question and she knew it. He could swear he saw the gold ring in her eyes flutter, a sign he had learned to recognize as anger. Well, let her be angry, he deserved answers.

"Ace, is everything okay?" A man with nearly black hair and sapphire blue eyes asked him. A boy a little taller than Helia was sitting on the man's shoulders and when Rowan saw his green eyes...

He had to be wrong.

"Aelin?" The man asked again as Aelin hadn't looked at him yet, her gaze still on Rowan.

"Yes." She replied with her voice cold. "My friend was just leaving, right?"

The way she said the word "friend" was anything but friendly. Fuck, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to demand answers now, but he didn't. The two little girls were behind Aelin and the man, watching what was going on.

"Answer my question first."

"Get out." She gritted through her teeth.

"Why do you have your angry voice, Mommy?" The little boy asked and suddenly Aelin's eyes softened and she looked at the boy. She grabbed him by the underarms and took him in her arms.

Mommy.

Her son.

Clearly not the son of the man next to Aelin. He looked about six, maybe even seven.

No. That was impossible. It was only one night. One night he had spent the last seven years regretting...

“Mommy’s not angry.” She smiled as she caressed her son’s hair. Their… No, her son. For all Rowan knew, Aelin only had a thing for men with green eyes. It meant nothing. “But she’s busy right now, go back to the car with uncle Dorian, okay? Then we’ll eat pizza, that’s your favorite, right?” The three kids cheered and Aelin gave her son to the man, Dorian.

“You okay?” He asked, touching Aelin’s shoulder. Rowan didn’t know why but he wanted to slap the man.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in two minutes.” She reassured him and he nodded, letting Aelin’s son on his shoulder as he held the two girls by their hands and walked back to the parking lot. Rowan wanted to stop him, wanted to ask that boy and girl how old they were but they were just kids. He couldn’t scare them. This was between Rowan and Aelin.

“I deserve the truth.”

“You don’t deserve shit. Not after what you did.”

“It was between me and you, not between me and-” He was cut off by her.

“There is nothing between you and them. Do you understand me? Nothing.” Them. So the girl…

He couldn’t take it. She had made it clear already, deep inside he knew the answer to his question but he needed to hear her say it. “Are they mine?” He finally asked and if looks could kill, Rowan would be buried already.

“They are mine.”

Why did she have to be so fucking complicated? He clenched his fists, trying to keep his anger inside him but it was so damn hard. “Am I their father?”

Both of them were breathing heavily and Rowan was glad for the empty store now, not wanting to cause a scene. “No.” Her voice was lethal and Rowan’s mind froze. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. But they looked so much like him… “If your question is whether or not you knocked me up, the answer is yes. But you are not a father. Never been and never will be to them.”

They were his. Rowan’s entire world stopped and he wasn’t sure how he kept standing. He was a father, no matter what Aelin said.

“How could you hide this from me? How could you take them away from me?” He was screaming now. He didn’t care about causing a scene anymore, he didn’t care about anything but the two kids in a car outside. “They are my kids!”

“You don’t even know their fucking name!” She was screaming too, cheeks red. Fuck, why did she always had to be the most attractive when she was angry? He hated her so fucking much. “I am the one who’s been raising them alone for almost seven fucking years!” She didn’t look alone, not with that Dorian by her side.

Suddenly, he knew Aedion didn’t punch him for what he and Aelin shared the last night he saw her. He had punched him for getting his cousin pregnant. He knew Aelin hadn’t been honest about what happened between them after the sex or he would have been dead by now, so now he was sure it was because of the kids. He had deserved it, deserved more than the five punches Aedion managed to give Rowan before Fenrys and Lorcan separated them.

“I will die before I let you treat my children like you treated me. Get out of Terassen, nobody wants you here.”

She left storming out of the store without her groceries and Rowan was frozen. He knew he should go back after her and apologize, he should beg her for a chance to know his kids but he couldn’t move.

He had children, twins. And Aelin had been raising them alone because of him, because of what happened.

He was so fucking screwed.

He didn’t care about what Aelin told him, he wouldn’t go anywhere. It was too late to save what could have happened between him and Aelin, it had been too late since the night she left his apartment in tears. But it wasn’t too late for his children and he would fight for them.

————

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @surielandiareendgame // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass fanfiction #rowaelin month #rowaelinmonth #slipped away

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creativeashproductions · 4 years

Text

If I Stay Part One // Luke Patterson

Summary: A beautiful day Luke visits a record store to relive the times he would buy an album, but he finds more than memories. He meets you and a connection blossoms between you two and then Reggie and Alex as well. All is well until Julie discovers something.

Warning: Swearing, talk of death and car accident!

Words: 2.6k

A/N: This is based off the movie If I Stay and the movie Charlie St. Cloud. Sorry for not posting sooner, my sister in law along with my three nieces were in a car accident. Thankfully the kids are okay but my sister-in-law in currently in hospital due to minor injuries thus far.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX PLEASE!

Masterlist

So, Julie’s life changed dramatically in the lost year and few months, firstly her family lost their mother. Secondly, Julie’s love for music faded until the melody and lyrics were haunting memories. Thirdly, after losing her place in the music program, she had to question her sanity. For in her garage lived three teenage ghosts to her disbelief and horror quite frankly; the ghosts grew on her so much she was in a band with them.

In the hours that Julie was attending school, the boys tended to tour the entire city. They enjoyed seeing the changes that had happened for the two and a half decades. Reggie really enjoyed the western-themed stores, even scaring a little girl with a floating cowboy hat that disappeared once on his head. Alex adored learning about the drastic changes within in the LGBTQ+ community, he had plans for when 2021 LA Pride came in June. Luke, of course, would go anywhere that had music such as music stores, record stores, concert venues and even followed a rock legend once.

“Ooh.” A voice spoke in the record store, “This would be the perfect gift.”

Luke turned to see you gazing at the Rock N’ Roll records with a passion in your eyes and an adorable smile that melted his heart. He couldn’t help but walk closer even if he had no clue if you could see him or not.

“Def Leppard? Definitely one of my favourite bands.” Luke spoke anticipating the usual one-sided conversation. His speculation shattered when you turned to face him with big eyes, “You can see me.”

You nodded your head, pushing your hands into your faded blue jeans glancing around the store, hoping the owner didn’t notice. To your relief the man was oblivious, Luke glanced over before stepping closer.

“You’re alive?”

“Mhm.” You spoke, removing a single hand to play with your burgundy jacket that cinched at the waist to give form. It was open to reveal a plain black shirt that left an inch of your midsection free, “I always wondered if ghosts were real. I got my answer.”

“This is so cool! My friend is the only person that can see my friends and me.” The grin was breathtaking on the teenage ghost. There was a connection between the two that was immediate and intense.

“At least you’re not alone.” You supplied turning to pick up the record, turning it around to read the tracklist. In the end, you decided you didn’t feel like buying it, replacing it you started for the front door.

A college-aged person walked in glued to the screen of the phone not replying as you mentioned a thank you before the door closed. Luke rushed to follow your steady pace in black hiking boots.

“Where are you going?” Luke questioned coming to the same stride as the girl that had taken his attention quickly. His interest had grown when he found he could hold a conversation with her.

“It’s a nice day. I thought I would go for a walk.” You replied, stopping to look around the street with curious eyes. Luke yearned for those eyes to look in his again because he swore he saw a galaxy in them, “Would you like to join me?”

Luke’s head was nodding in response with a new pep in his step as you walked down the street filled with all different kind of stores. Luke recognized Family Living Grocery store as the one that the Molina got their groceries, he and the guys had joined Julie on a trip once. It was one of his worst memories as a ghost, surrounded by snacks and food he couldn’t indulge in.

“So, what’s your story, Caspar?” You questioned stopping to look as at a beautiful dollhouse, “My cousin had one. We actually renovated it a while back for her unborn niece.”

“Caspar?” Luke teased, watching the nostalgia faded from your expression as you continued on the walk. His hazel eyes, greener at the moment, glittered at the different banter he had with you than the guys or Julie.

“Well, I don’t know your name!” You exclaimed turning the corner at a parlour with gorgeous stencilled artwork on the glass.

“Luke. My name is Luke. Hey! I know this shop!” Luke beamed, stepping back to take in the storefront. In the twenty-five years since he last saw it, the blue faded into a teal, but the door was still the same as it always was.

“You have a tattoo?” You asked, scanning his arms bare in the cut off shirt he wore. You couldn’t see any ink on his skin. Luke couldn’t help the smirk on his face at the blatant heated gaze.

“No. It was 1994. We just played our biggest gig at the time, and Bobby decided we should get tattoos.” Luke’s mouth twisted at the mention of his former friend, “Of course we were sixteen and Alex just about fainted in the shop. The guy took one look at Reggie and laughed at our fake IDs. Told us to come back in a few years.”

One of the few memories that weren’t tainted by the betrayal that Trevor Wilson had gone on to do a year after the tattoo fiasco. It was more than not being credited or his songs being stolen, but it was also that someone he wholeheartedly trusted turned his back on them. Luke frankly didn’t care how Bobby coped after that fateful night. Still, he changed his name and refused any mention of his previous music experience. That hurt a lot.

“So, you’re a ’90s kid.” You raised an eyebrow coming to a stop on the edge of the street, pressing the button to cross.

“Technically a ’70s kid. We died in ’95 a few hours before a life-changing gig.” The mood turned sombre as Luke thought back on that one night that life decided to raise both middle fingers at his dreams, “Death by a hot dog.”

The snicker fell from your mouth before you do anything about it but sobered up quickly in the view of his painful admittance.

“So, you’re seventeen?” You asked crossing when the crosswalk light flickered on. Your attention focused on crossing while listening to the teenager.

“Forever seventeen but I would eighteen physically, but if I had survived I would be forty-three.” Luke mused shoving his hands into his staple black jeans with the chains and his constant accessory of a blue rabbit’s foot.

“Oh, damn. I’ve seventeen as well.” You replied dodging pedestrians before humming a to a song you had heard recently but where you did was unknown. You didn’t want to bump into anyone.

Luke glanced down at his watch, somehow even in death it worked, noticing that it was around the time rehearsal would commence. The thought barely ended before a flash of light preceded Alex’s presence. You slightly jumped in response.

“Luke! Julie’s wondering where you are. We have rehearsal.” Alex was surprised that Luke wasn’t already at the studio. He was always the first one holding his guitar for the rest of them.

One glance at the girl beside Luke cemented a reason for his tardiness. Alex could see that you were the reason and a pretty reason too. Alex wished he had your jacket with such a beautiful colour, but the music was more important.

“Oh, man!” Luke panicked fearing that being late would cause Julie to leave the band after the whole school dance fiasco.

“So, Luke. I like your name by the way. I’m Y/N.” You greeted holding back from offering you a hand, your theory would have been proven correct. Ghosts can’t touch other people, all the movies portrayed that.

“Nice to meet you! I’ll find you soon!” Luke shouted seconds before Alex poofed them both away with a single hand on his bandmate’s shoulder.

A content smile appeared before you continued on your way, unaware of the lack of acknowledgement from people on the street.

The next few days, Luke would find you either in the record store or just out front during his free time. He hadn’t realized how lonely he was touring the music entertainment spots until he had your company. Soon you were joined by Alex and Reggie every once in a while.

The three were planning outings with their new lifer friend as Julie grabbed her songbook from her room. She was amused when the three wouldn’t shut up.

“What are you planning?” Julie questioned scanning their animated expressions, even taking in the slight change in Alex’s appearance.

Alex had a braided bracelet of the rainbow on his left wrist that definitely hadn’t been there yesterday. He even seemed calmer and less anxious, as well.

“What happened to Alex?” Julie questioned with a small smirk, “Did you bump into Willie?”

Alex shook his head, “No, Luke met this girl at a record store and then Reggie and I met her. She’s cool! There’s this app she showed us, and it had videos of anything you could imagine!”

Julie’s teasing smile faltered at the mention of Luke meeting someone before it returned once more. She pushed the feeling away as this girl had brought peace to the drummer.

“What’s her name?” Julie asked, pushing the songbook away to listen intently to the new piece of the boys’ afterlife. The three burst into stories of the girl.

“She took me to this cool place nearby where people store their horses!” Reggie burst out, clapping his head, “I already have a country song started! This is so a hit single for our future country album!”

Alex only released an exasperated sigh at Reggie’s idea that he voiced every single day since the beginning of the band. Luke was just used to finding sheets of songs from Reggie around the studio and often his songbook too.

“She also brought me a bag of clothing she had in her house that she let me go through. Apparently, her house is the place where cousins take their old clothing.” Alex supplied striking a pose in his new white sweater with a rainbow logo on the front.

Julie grinned at the positivity radiating off the two boys.

“Is she a ghost?”

Luke shook his head, “No. She’s alive.”

A spark of happiness flits itself inside of Julie before it dissipated because Flynn had already gently let the girl down about Luke.

“What’s her name! I’m gonna find her Instagram!” Julie took out her phone waiting as Alex supplied her the name. Her thumbs froze before she could type staring down at the black screen.

The name was familiar.

Laying on a bed on San Pablo Street was a girl with her eyes closed and a serene expression. This bed wasn’t just any bed in a home. Instead, this bed was one no one wished to be in. A bed with machines surrounding and right in the middle of those machines was Y/N.

The very girl that had met Luke, Reggie and Alex were in fact in the ICU of a hospital recovering in a coma.

“Why do you look like that?” Luke demanded as the colour drained from the lead singer of their band.

“Are you sure it was Y/N Y/L/N?” Julie gulped dread filling her veins as each boy nodded their head and the girl slumped, “I go to school with her. The thing is she’s been in a coma for two weeks now.”

You were outside the record store once more as the three ghosts appeared in front of you each looking the worst you had ever seen them.

“Did you lie?” Luke questioned stepping closer to the teenage girl that furrowed her brows in confusion, “You said that you are alive. Why did you lie?”

“Lie?” You asked, taking a step back from the odd energy the boys had. A look of distraught on each face, “What are you talking about?”

“Why are you here every day at this exact time. Never late, never early.” Alex questioned sick to his stomach as your brows came together.

“I- walk…” You trailed off thinking of the last week in deep thought paling as you had no recollection of going home or getting to the store. It was like you blacked out each time.

Actually, the last time you remember not being with the guys or at the store was two weeks ago.

“I don’t re…member.” You whispered, “I haven’t seen my family since…oh my god.”

Luke stepped closer, terrified as he reached out, hoping with his entire being his hand would go through you. It didn’t. Luke’s hand rested on your arm, still wearing that burgundy jacket. Your eyes flickered between his solid hand and the same outfit you wore for weeks now. Why would you be wearing a jacket and hiking boots in Los Angeles?

“My cousin had been saving up for a trip for her eighteenth birthday. She wanted to go skiing, so we split the cost between our families.”

As if a wall broke, you realized with horror that the college boy that hadn’t held the for you like you first thought. He hadn’t seen or heard you because in his world you weren’t there. No one had acknowledged you because they couldn’t see you just like they couldn’t see Luke.

“What else do you remember?” Reggie spoke up next, noticing that Luke was getting more upset. His eyes going so light the green appeared to be blue and glittered with tears and his heart dropping.

“My parents, my cousin and I were driving up the mountain in the rented car. There-“

Two Weeks Ago

Your head leaned again Lou’s head sharing the headphones connected to your phone blasting the carefully curated playlist. Lou had been living with your parents and you the last six months as her parents were travelling for work. It was a dream because she was like a sister already and vice versa; Lou as a surprise baby with her older sister being ten years older.

“We haven’t been to the slopes since we first got married.” Dad said glancing over at your mother in the passenger seat, “Didn’t we conceive-“

“Dad! Gross!” You shouted, wrinkling your nose as he glanced in the rear-view mirror to smile at your antics. Your mother’s laugh was probably one of your most favourite sounds in the world, it was warm like hot chocolate on a cold day.

“Did you see that video of the hologram band?” Lou asked, not paying attention to your family’s antics, “It’s super cool.”

“We still have half of our playlist to go through. You should show me when we get to the cabin.” You replied, “We could put it on the projector with the others.”

The others being your extended family, including the surprise of Lou’s parents. Your mother pointed out the snow on the mountain gaining everyone’s attention. It was beautiful compared to sunny Los Angeles.

Lou’s thumb was just about to click the video of Julie and the Phantoms against your wishes. You felt the fear before the yell, snapping your head up you watched as a pickup truck hit ice swerving into your lane. The screech of tires preceded the crunch of the vehicles hitting each other. Throughout the surrounding area, the echoes of the crash bounced off the mountains scaring birds away. Miraculously Lou’s phone survived the crash and played the electric video of ‘Edge of Great’ by Julie and the Phantoms. A song you would hum under your breath during your walks meeting the guys.

The snow turned red under four of five bodies. You lay nonconscious a stark difference in the burgundy jacket and black shirt you had painstakingly chosen that morning.

If I Stay Part Two (Final)

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

My prompt is just more trans au. Various people reacting to baobei. Just i love trans au so much thank u for this gift.

Baobai Pt 1 - on tumblr, on ao3

“Oh, hey, you have a kid,” Wei Wuxian said, out of lack of any other conversational topics that weren’t ‘so are you here to kill us all?’. Kids were usually a good, neural topic, especially when they were that small. “Look at her, she’s so tiny! Her parents know you brought her out here?”

“She’s da-ge’s,” Lan Xichen said with a smile and a nod towards Nie Mingjue, who as tall and terrifying as always. He was glowering at the half-grown radish fields as if he was personally offended by them.

“Congratulations, Chifeng-zun,” Wei Wuxian said to him, hoping to stave off any impending violence. The baby was young enough that the mom was probably still in isolation recovering, and maybe hadn’t consented to said baby being brought to the Burial Mounds of all places - certainly Wei Wuxian wouldn’t have agreed to cart a small infant all the way from Qinghe, and he’d thought mothers preferred to remain near their children in the few months after birth - but Wei Wuxian was not really in a position to object.

Certainly not after the quick work Nie Mingjue’s saber made of all of his defensive arrays. That man was scary.

“Thank you,” Nie Mingjue said, and it was awkward for a moment until he added, “Pain in the ass to acquire.”

That made everything better: Wei Wuxian knew how to deal with snark. “Oh yeah? Carried her yourself, did you?”

“Ten fucking months,” Nie Mingjue said, and Wei Wuxian laughed and shot Lan Xichen a wink, figuring that his stupid joke about having given birth to A-Yuan had made the rounds. Funny, he wouldn’t have pegged Lan Wangji to be the sort of person to pass on jokes…

At that point, Nie MIngjue twisted his head around to look at Wen Ning and Wen Qing, who were hovering nearby, trying to hide A-Yuan behind their legs, and said, “She’s your cousin three times removed, if I have my family tree down right, so stop being queasy and let the kid come see her.”

“Fuck,” Wen Qing said, and abruptly sat down. “I’m sorry.”

Wei Wuxian had the distinct feeling he was missing something, especially when Wen Ning’s expression shifted from equally puzzled to outright horrified.

“It’s not exactly your fault, you’re not soldiers,” Nie Mingjue said, and glared at the radish field again. “But in all seriousness: let the kid see her.”

Wen Qing waved a vague hand at A-Yuan, who correctly interpreted it as permission and zoomed over to the baby as fast as his little legs could carry him. He was in that another-kid-how-cool phase that all kids had, and babies were a particular fascination.

“You’re cousins?” Wei Wuxian asked Nie Mingjue, feeling a bit weird about. Three times removed wasn’t close, but still…of all people...“With the Wen sect? You?”

Nie Huaisang made a strangled noise that from anyone else Wei Wuxian would have said sounded a bit like he was going to imminently stab someone.

Nie Mingjue just gave Wei Wuxian a look like he was an idiot.

“No,” he said very slowly. “I’m not.”

Wei Wuxian continued not to get it, right up until he glanced at Wen Ning who mouthed a name at him and – wait, but no, that’s impossible – but he’d have to be – wait, he was from Qinghe –

Wei Wuxian suddenly noticed that he had sat down on the ground as well at some point.

“Pain in the ass,” he said blankly. “Right.”

Nie Huaisang was glaring at him like he really was going to pull out his never-used saber to start chopping Wei Wuxian into bits, and honestly that might be a preferable option to the sheer awkwardness of having just put two and two together like that in front of so many people. Maybe he could use demonic cultivation to open the ground up beneath him? It’d never been done before, but then again, that was most things he did…

“Why are people so weird about babies?” Nie Mingjue complained, picking up the baby in one arm and a giggling and blissfully ignorant A-Yuan in the other, swinging them both around a bit. “They’re like – lumps of little people. We were all babies once. It’s not that weird.”

“You heard him,” Jin Guangyao said to Wei Wuxian with a smile that looked like it had daggers in it. “It’s not weird at all. Right?”

“Right!” Wei Wuxian said hastily.

Apparently scary people flocked together. Though, did that mean there something he was missing about Lan Xichen..?

Lan Xichen smiled at Jin Guangyao, who smiled back. That was really the only good thing about these discussion conferences, he thought – they were long and draining and he had to meet a lot of people he didn’t want to see (Sect Leader Yao ranked highly), but he got to spend a great deal of time with his sworn brothers, which he didn’t often manage. And, really, that made everything worth it.

“How are things going?” he asked in an undertone, scanning Jin Guangyao with his eyes. Madame Jin did not have the reputation for being a kind woman, especially not about her husband’s affairs, and he couldn’t help but worry.

“Manageable,” Jin Guangyao assured him, though it wasn’t really that comforting. “It helps that this conference isn’t at Jinlin Tower – less to arrange, less work to fall on my shoulders. It’s positively easy by comparison. When did you arrive? We’ve been here for a shichen already, setting up.”

“Just now. They’re still moving our things into our rooms –”

“Er-ge! San-ge!” Nie Huaisang’s voice rang out, sharp and clear and murderous; they both turned to look at him at once to try to determine if it was the sort of murderous that meant someone had bought out a painting he’d liked before he got there or if it someone had actually offended him. He had a fixed smile on his face, which boded no one any good. “I was just looking for you. I want to chat.”

“What happened?” Lan Xichen asked, looking around – they were more or less alone, and a quick hand-seal made it so that they wouldn’t be easily overheard. “Did someone do something to Baobei…?”

He couldn’t believe they still hadn’t named her, the poor thing.

(Jin Guangyao had briefly been lobbying for them to name her A-Shi, but then Nie Mingjue told him that if he wanted to have a girl named Nie Shi he ought to man up and sire her himself, and ever since then Jin Guangyao had been proposing different names entirely. Possibly he was concerned Nie Mingjue would take back the offer if he used up the name.)

“Surely not,” Jin Guangyao said. “In the middle of the Lotus Pier…?”

“Not Baobei,” Nie Huaisang said. “But your father just figured out who carried her, and he just – he put his hands – he said he had the right to check on account of da-ge having misled them –”

Lan Xichen observed, a little distantly, that he’d previously thought that the phrase ‘seeing red’ was an exaggeration, rather than a perfectly accurate description.

“Did da-ge rip him to pieces?” Jin Guangyao asked, sounding as if he was very much in favor of that result.

“He did not,” Nie Huaisang said. “You know how he is during these conferences; he’s far too reserved. Slapped his hands away but didn’t do anything else about it.”

“Surely that would put an end to it…?” Lan Xichen suggested, mildly hopeful, but the expression on Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang’s face did not fill him with much expectation.

“He’ll try something,” Jin Guangyao said flatly. His voice tremored briefly, full of rage even he couldn’t hide, and he gripped his hands together tightly. “He will try something.”

“Sect Leader Jiang will help us keep them separate for the conference,” Nie Huaisang said. “He still hasn’t figured out the details of Baobei’s parentage, I think he’s convinced himself that men just bear children – in some way that man is as dumb as a rock, same as when we were teenagers, I don’t know how anyone is that gullible – but he’s offended on da-ge’s behalf anyway. But when the conference is over for the evening…”

“It would be unfilial of me to plan my own father’s assassination,” Jin Guangyao said, and his eyes slide towards Lan Xichen, questioning. “But if you wanted to have a theoretical discussion regarding the security system at Jinlin Tower, and the weaknesses thereof…”

“Yes,” Lan Xichen said, putting aside all concerns regarding the morality of assassinations, and found that he didn’t regret the decision one bit. He’d barely tolerated that lecher when he had no choice, when he was Jin Guangyao’s father and a powerful sect leader. But putting his hands on da-ge – thinking of doing more – “Let’s have that...theoretical discussion.”

“I knew I could count on you two,” Nie Huaisang said with satisfaction. “So here’s what I was thinking –”

One of the worst days of Nie Huaisang’s life started quite normally – waking up when his brother lifted him bodily out of bed and slung him over his shoulder.

“Da-ge!” he yelped. “Da-ge, no – it’s too early –”

“If you stayed up late, that’s your own problem,” his brother said with the sort of purposeful cheerful sadism that only a person who actually enjoyed waking up with the sun to go train could employ. “I told you yesterday that we were going to be training this morning.”

“But da-ge –”

“You missed the last three days. You’re not missing today.”

But it’s so fucking early, Nie Huaisang thought despairingly, drooping into dead weight over his brother’s shoulder – not that that helped, of course. His brother was too damn strong.

“Are you sure you’re not taking out your feelings about getting fat on me?” he asked, poking at his brother’s somewhat-rounder-than-usual waist. “That peacetime bulge of yours hasn’t gotten any smaller, you know…”

In all honestly, Nie Huaisang was delighted by the small swell of his brother’s usually flat stomach. His brother wasn’t vain – his body was a tool shaped for purpose – and the idea that his brother had finally let go enough, whether by eating more or resting more, to actually gain some weight…

“Whatever you say, pork bun,” his brother said, and Nie Huaisang yelped and hit him because he was not a pork bun! No matter how pale or chubby he might become!

It was a hot day, which of course made going through the steps of training even more miserable than usual. His brother was patient as always, showing him the steps and then making him repeat them a few times before starting up his own morning training routine; after a while, they both got into a nice rhythm, swings and chops.

Training wasn’t that bad, especially when it meant he could spend more time with his always-busy brother. He still didn’t like it, and obviously he had a reputation to uphold, and yes, it was obnoxious to get up early...but it could be worst.

And then, just as Nie Huaisang was turning to tell his brother a joke he’d heard the day before, he saw his brother abruptly turn pale and fall over.

He even dropped Baxia.

“Da-ge!” Nie Huaisang screamed, a thousand ancient fears rearing their heads at once, and he rushed over at top speed. “Someone get a doctor! Quick!”

Not a qi deviation, not a qi deviation, don’t be a qi deviation, he prayed, dropping to his knees next to his brother, who was already waking up – eyes clear, not red, and looking more confused than anything else. He’s too young, I’m not ready, I can’t lose him, not him, not yet, please –

On Nie Huaisang’s instructions, some of the nearby retainers helped Nie Mingjue back inside, even though he was insisting that he was fine.

“You collapsed,” Nie Huaisang snapped at him. “In morning training. You are going to see a doctor, and that’s final.”

Nie Mingjue held up his hands in surrender, looking amused at Nie Huaisang’s uncharacteristic fierceness. His amusement faded into sympathy when he realized why Nie Huaisang was so tense – their father’s death had hit them both hard – and he pulled Nie Huaisang into his arms for a hug.

“It’s not that,” he said confidently. “Not yet. The doctor will tell you.”

The doctor’s face did something funny, though, when he listened to Nie Mingjue’s pulse. Not the oh-no-it-really-is-a-minor-qi-deviation sort of funny or even a nah-total-fluke-you’re-overreacting sort of funny, more of a what-the-fuck sort of funny.

“What is it?” Nie Huaisang demanded. He knew enough medicine – the entire Nie sect knew enough medicine – to understand most basic diagnoses, as well as what they might mean for future health. “What type of pulse?”

The doctor hesitated.

“Well?” Nie Mingjue said. “Spit it out.”

“…a joy pulse,” the doctor said. “About five months, I’d guess.”

For a moment Nie Huaisang didn’t understand. It wasn’t that he didn’t know what a joy pulse was – he did have female friends, some of whom were now mothers – nor that he didn’t know that his brother was capable of carrying, he’d known that forever.

It was just that his brother was an antisocial misanthrope. He didn’t have any lovers, as far as Nie Huaisang knew, which meant he shouldn’t have a joy pulse.

Besides, five months ago they were still at war! His brother took his duties far too seriously to waste time on a battlefield dallying with someone, anyone, and especially not if there was a major battle around that time. Five months ago there must have been one – which one was it?

Five months…the main force of the army had gone up from Xingtai to Shijiazhuang six months ago, and then there would have been – Yangquan.

Yangquan.

When his brother had been duped by false information into leading an attack on what should have been a mostly abandoned outpost, but which turned out to be in the middle of being reinforced by Wen Ruohan personally – when his brother had been captured – tortured – and even -

“Shit,” his brother said, presumably realizing at that exact moment that Nie Huaisang was capable of math and also dates and possibly even logic. “Doctor, you can go, thank you.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t even hear the doctor leave.

“Huaisang…didi…” His brother was trying to pull him into a hug, but Nie Huaisang didn’t want one, struggling unsuccessfully to get away. He didn’t want to be any closer to – to that – to the creature sitting his brother’s stomach, weighing him down; to what he’d thought was a sign of peace and good times and what was actually nothing more than yet another scar left by the war.

He’d actually been happy about it, and the thought twisted his stomach.

“Can you get rid of it?” he asked, voice strangled. “You can, right? It’s still early…”

“Five months is pretty close to quickening,” his brother said, wincing. “After quickening, the medicines don’t work as well. It might not be that easy.”

“Do you know how dangerous childbirth is?!” Nie Huaisang demanded. His mouth was moving on automatic; he wasn’t even thinking about what he was saying. He wasn’t thinking of anything, anything at all, because if he was thinking he’d have to think – he’d have to – his brother – “What if it kills you? You can’t let them kill you! Not after everything we did to avenge A-die!”

“I’m not going to die,” Nie Mingjue said, holding him tightly, his chin on Nie Huaisang’s head the way they always where when they hugged. “I’m a very good cultivator, Huaisang. My golden core will keep me healthy, even if I start bleeding…it won’t be like your mother. I promise.”

Nie Huaisang started shaking. “Da-ge,” he whimpered, pressing his face into his brother’s shoulder. “Da-ge, tell me…”

“Anything,” his brother promised, and he’d regret that promise in another moment, Nie Huaisang knew, the question would only cause him pain, but he needed to know. The second they were out of this situation his brother would clam up, pretend that nothing had happened and that it was all fine, so if he had questions – and he did – then he needed to answer them now.

“Was it – who was it? Was it him?”

His brother stilled.

“You said you’d tell me,” Nie Huaisang reminded him.

“…I don’t know,” his brother said. “I don’t – it could be. But it might be – someone else.”

There had been more than one, then. Nie Huaisang swallowed back bile, wanting to be sick. His father’s murderer had forced himself on his brother, and he’d let others do the same, and now they had to deal with the fallout.

“I want to kill them,” he whispered. “I want – I want them dead – all of them –”

“If it’s anything, I’ve made a pretty good head start on that already?” his brother offered, and of course his brother was trying to find some levity in a terrible situation. “We broke them, Huaisang. Even if some individuals remain, there’s no Wen sect left. If I do end up keeping it, the child won’t have a paternal family to lay a claim – they’ll be surnamed Nie. Another Nie, like you and me. You’ll be their uncle; you have to forgive them, it wasn’t their fault...you have to spoil them rotten.”

His brother’s thumb wiped away some of Nie Huaisang’s tears.

“You’ll be a good uncle, didi,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Nie Huaisang’s brow. “If the child is surnamed Nie, that’s all that matters.”

“People will know,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “About you, about…I’m not the only one who can do math. We won’t…it can’t be kept quiet, can it? People will know. About you, about - what happened.”

“Let people know,” his brother, brave as ever, said with an indifferent shrug. “What do I care? In the end, it’s just another way to show that even when they threw everything they had against me, I still won.”

“What a charming child you have,” the young man from the mountain – Xiao Xingchen, he said his name was, and he was already famous despite having only been around for a few months – said, smiling down at her. “She’s beautiful.”

Nie Mingjue was not currently feeling especially kindly disposed towards human reproduction at the moment, being currently heavy with his second – the world needed more Nies, he wanted more Nies, children to keep Nie Huaisang company if that qi deviation he was promised ever actually turned up, and he had a very good list of cultivators with various pros and cons willing to help him introduce some more diversity into the Nie bloodline to try to minimize the chance of future qi deviations for his descendants, but at the same time he hated waddling around like a stuffed hippo with a bunch of people insisting that he not even think of physical exertion – but he nodded his thanks regardless.

At least for once someone wasn’t going to comment about the child’s parentage, he reflected wryly. There was only so much purposeful playing dumb a man could do, and the first year or so of his little baobei’s life – by the time they’d finally gotten around to trying to name her, the nickname had stick so firmly that they’d succumbed to reality and made her given name A-Bao, though of course, it being Qinghe, no one actually called her that – had really strained his tolerance in that specific regard.

It was the quickest way to avoid awkwardness, to pass along the information while avoiding conversations he didn’t want to have, but still…

Nobody brought up on a celestial mountain would know about Wen Ruohan, though. He was pretty sure of that.

“And I see you’re expecting another? Sometime soon..?”

“I am,” Nie Mingjue said. “Soon enough.”

Not soon enough. He wanted to go back to training – why did he keep getting high blood pressure no matter how much medicine he took?

“I see,” Xiao Xingchen said. “You’ll have to let me give you a gift of some sort. Do you have a favorite form of cloth?”

Nie MIngjue blinked at him. “Cloth?”

That was a strange gift. Did Xiao Xingchen think that his sect was so poor that he couldn’t cloth a child?

Xiao Xingchen – who was really quite young – blushed red, the color going all the way to his ears.

“I’m sorry for my presumption,” he said, then hesitated, before saying, very delicately, “Have you finished preparing the nest for the egg, then?”

#mdzs #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #wei wuxian #wen qing #wen ning #jin guangyao #lan xichen #xiao xingchen #my fic #my fics #baby dage #thevasthonk

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bunny-hoodlum · 3 years

Text

Asynchronous With You: Chapter 1

ship: naruhina

rating: teen (maybe mature later)

tags: Modern Day AU, Foster Siblings, Family, Angst, Unrequited Love, Poor Communication

summary: An awkward journey full of self-denial and missed moments between two foster siblings. Perhaps their love will find the right timing someday.

(The way overdue long-form version of the Foster Sib AU I wrote for @szajnie for Secret Santa 2020.)

music: Asynchronous With You by burokkurubeats & my playlist

He wasn't the first child.

Somehow he had expected to be.

A girl his age, age six, and her older cousin had already been living here for a year now.

They had family, they were just… deemed unfit.

Maybe they'll take them back, when they get their act together. He doesn't know. He only knows he doesn't have the luxury of hope that they do.

Nobody was coming back to get him.

And he had nowhere to go back to.

The foster lady with the ruby red eyes showed him his bedroom.

At first, Naruto thought Hinata and Neji were close, so much so that no one could ever be closer.

Then he thought it was their tactic to keep others out, self-preservation in blood.

Hinata was nice enough, but she never strayed far from Neji.

That was because he never let her.

She wasn't just fiercely loyal to him. She was scared of him.

He tried to get Neji in trouble. Kurenai-obachan needed to know. But Hinata stopped him. She told him not to split them apart. That she didn't mind Neji bossing her around. She would never be okay if she didn't know where her cousin was.

So he tried. But it was hard. He still picked fights with Neji.

That didn't make Hinata happier, either.

He still thinks it's Neji's fault when she finally breaks down, telling them both off before running to her room.

He runs after her, but she won't let him in.

He goes to his room and talks to her through his wall. He has to press himself flat against it, straining to hear any sound.

Could she hear him, too?

"I'll leave Neji alone, okay?" It's a bitter promise, because it makes him feel like he's surrendered when he did nothing wrong. But part of him also feels tired of this pattern day in and day out. He'd rather spend his time better.

The silence stretched passed the point of comfort, and he pictured tomorrow, a tomorrow where Hinata may hate him. Enough to shun him in his own home. And would he really do what he's always done to others to her? Would he really go that far for attention?

His unconscious concerns spilled out, running through his fingers before he could stuff the words back in and swallow them. "Hinata… can I bug you instead?" He flinches and freezes, and he waits.

It's faint, but he heard her.

"Sure," she said.

His shoulders lowered as he slouched down the wall, the tension leaking from his body and he smiled.

Their early years would be shaped by a secret language shared between the two of them from that moment on, where a pinch on the arm and a retaliatory swat was a polite exchange in the morning. Where a "missing" item from their bedrooms was an excuse to search the house together, and where a stolen item was an invitation to enter each other's bedrooms. Hinata really liked to show him her new collection of pressed flowers, and he really liked to show her his latest Gachapon figurine. Whenever that happened, it was usually one of those new things that went "missing" shortly after.

It wasn't that Kurenai-obasan didn't spoil him as much as them, he could have new things all the time, too. But she hadn't been planning on taking him, she hadn't been prepared for him. If he wanted more things, Hinata would have to have less.

And the time he could spend with her was more than enough for him.

____________________________

Halfway through their grade school years their secret games waned. Being in the same grade helped to keep them in touch throughout the day, but at lunch time she was Neji's, and after school she was Neji's. That's just how it was.

But they were maturing. Their experiences were expanding. They had so much to talk about.

But how could they? It had to be at bedtime. And because it had to be bedtime, they had to be quiet.

He got the idea to drill a hole into their bedroom wall so that way they could easily whisper and not get caught.

That was one of his first thrills: vandalism.

"I think you mean 'home improvement'," Hinata giggled.

He had to process that.

He never realized until then that he still hadn't considered this his home.

Thanks to Kurenai-obasan, he had food in his belly and a roof over his head. He had a bed, some video games, and a safe route to school.

Thanks to Neji, he had a model of masculinity. Not a role model, mind you, but a model nonetheless. Some things about Neji were cool, even admirable. And other things he would never do in his life. They were both abandoned, confused and alone, sure. But it was always annoying how Neji couldn't help but look back. Naruto always had to look forward.

Maybe the way they both did things was equally imperfect.

He smiled to himself, as this is where he had to thank Hinata, for she kept them both grounded and present. Because that's how she lives her life, like each day is a gift not to be squandered.

Who cares about being hurt yesterday? Who cares about what hasn't happened yet?

Right now, at this moment, he was home.

This was his home.

____________________________

Girls at school always cupped their ears when they were eavesdropping. They cup their mouths when they're telling secrets or bad-mouthing others.

Hinata cups her ear around the hole in their wall when he's telling her stories. And she cups her mouth when she's telling him hers.

Her ears are sensitive, so he tries to watch his volume. He forgets himself when he gets excitable.

Her breath tickles and teases a memory from his brain, one that fills him with both sadness and relief.

When he tries to sleep, he searches for the root of this feeling.

The next day on television, there's a mother murmuring her baby to sleep.

He adopts that image as his own forgotten memory.

And the following night, Hinata's soothing whispers confirm that he had a mother once, and she used to sing him to sleep.

____________________________

Hinata's a wimp.

He loves the girl, but at school she is a gosh damn trouble magnet.

He jumps in front of her bullies, fists blazing, and he loses.

A lot.

But he gets to pick fights again. He gets to be cool from time to time. And when he gets better, he becomes the best. He gets a reputation!

By the time they reach fifth grade, he doesn't even have to raise a fist.

A well-aimed death glare is enough.

When Neji's graduation forces the two cousins apart for the first time in their lives, the older Hyuuga undergoes a personality shift.

He expresses legitimate concern for Hinata.

Maybe it's been there all along.

They're both standing on the empty landing just outside of their elementary's gymnasium where the remainder of the proceedings were taking place. Neji's stare, heavy with expectations and ultimatum, bore down on his little shoulders.

"You're the only one I can ask."

"Yeah, don't worry. I got this!" Naruto flashed his patent overconfident grin, and this time not a hint of condescension passed across Neji's face.

His heart thumped wildly when he and Neji returned to the gymnasium, with Neji returning to his position amongst the other students in the center of the room. Family members lined up against the walls in foldable metal chairs, a spattering of pride and loss playing out across their faces; Their children were growing up.

When Naruto took his seat, he stole a glance at Hinata on the other side of Kurenai-obasan. Her gentle profile seemed to unlock something inside of him. Waves upon waves of warmth filled his body, pulling him in deeper into a languid pool of contentment.

He would be her protector from now on.

He would be her brother.

____________________________

He never noticed how their paths lead each other further and further apart.

Their daily routines had remained the same.

Aside from a few exciting developments.

Like Kurenai reconnecting with a childhood friend. The man was a Marine and a chainsmoker, but he seemed cool.

Or how Naruto happened to find a collection of discarded skin mags behind the pool storage room at school. They now safely occupied the space beneath his bed.

There was also the neighborhood shrimp squad of grade-schoolers who loved to call him 'Boss' whenever he came over to play.

Or that time he was hanging out with Sasuke, and unusually the stoic lad had insulted a group of delinquents before he did at the local arcade.

Sasuke may have taken out four guys by the time Naruto took out one, but he still got the win.

But way, way before all of that something had really surprised him: Hinata becoming Deputy Class Rep to their own Haruno Sakura.

She was volunteered for the position based on her equally outstanding grades. Or, at least that's what they had believed.

Over time, it became apparent that they had volunteered Hinata to be Sakura's foil. Hinata was considerate and much more approachable. If the students wanted something, they went straight to Hinata first.

But then her unchanged nature became more detectable.

Like he's said before, Hinata's a wimp.

She crumbles at the slightest disapproval.

She implodes when she's convinced she could do better. When she thinks she's failing.

So halfway through their first year, she started to get abused. Girls and boys alike tried to strongarm her into making their lives 'better'. Making her fetch their lunches and dumping cleaning duty on her every day, then throwing her words back at her when she tried to complain. They'd say, 'But it's what you signed up for', and 'Isn't this your job? Don't you care about your classmates?'.

Somehow Sakura never noticed. He tried to tell her, but she didn't take him seriously. He tried to tell the teachers, but they acted like he had no evidence.

Liars! They just didn't want to get involved! What good are teachers if they don't help their students?!

Some weeks later, the following exams were posted outside the classroom.

Sakura was number two, just below Ino. They were always competing for the top, always unevenly dethroning the other.

Hinata was number three. Always suspiciously number three. And he was dead last.

Hinata could rise to the top, but she never tries.

He always tries, but he can never seem to rise.

He realized then that he hasn't been doing enough as her brother.

Compared to her, he has no future, no potential. It wouldn't be a waste if he took on her burdens.

He can take abuse, because during those first six years at a state-run orphanage, abuse was all he knew.

He realized what he had to do. Resiliency was one of his best traits, after all.

The following day, he took Hinata's place as the class slave. He fetched their lunches, got them drinks whenever they asked. The only thing they never asked him to do was their homework. Because… yeah.

Nobody knew they lived together.

If they did, well, he might've been forced to copy Hinata's assignments all the same.

He never noticed how their paths lead them apart, how their daily routines boxed them into two different social spheres never to overlap.

He was still her brother. Her protector.

But by high school, he'd also become the embodiment of trouble itself.

And he couldn't let that stuff disrupt her life.

____________________________

Naruto’s sprawled belly-down on the sofa playing on his Vita handheld when Kurenai-obasan calls out to him as she’s emerging from the laundry room.

“Naruto, I’ve stared at this hamper for three weeks,” She drops the hamper at her feet with a weighty thump for emphasis. “Are you going to do it or not?”

“I just forgot.” He surreptitiously powers off his game and abandons his handheld on the sofa as he ambles off the couch.

He’s dramatic when he slouches his shoulders and drags his feet, head lolling backwards in anguish. He hauls the hamper back inside the laundry room. He doesn’t look when he opens the washing machine and dumps his clothes into the drum. But the pile is sticking up. He tries to smash it all down, but he can’t. It’s already full.

“Crap.” He scoops out his month-old laundry in four armfuls and disposes them at his feet. He reaches in to grab the damp garments sticking to the sides of the drum, then begins to throw them into the dryer. At least that’s empty.

He doesn’t notice the butter yellow hoodie with white polka dots on the kangaroo pocket. Or the frilly linen top that needs to be dried on the line. Or the no-show socks with rabbits on them.

Once the drum was cleared out, he hurled his fermented clothes into the washer and started up both machines.

He went back to his game for several hours. Kurenai had to remind him to dry his clothes as she delivered the dryer’s contents to Hinata’s room. This was because Hinata was at cram school.

As he moved his items to the dryer, he recalled how Neji had done cram school too before moving onto a prestigious high school deep in the city center.

Naruto never knew whether to be jealous or not. School work was utterly useless and he didn’t envy the workload of overachievers, but maybe that was only because he couldn’t handle it. Maybe if he were smarter, he’d appreciate it better. Or maybe he’d figure out more ingenious ways to skip it all.

He played his game in the laundry room, waiting for the final ding to go off. He used the same dirty hamper to gather up his clean clothes and dragged it inside his room, where he promptly dumped it all out on his bed. Fresh laundry was intoxicating and he didn’t fight the urge to belly flop into the softener-drenched warmth.

He deeply inhaled as he sank into the heat. His cheek felt particularly nice against this satin material.

His left eye opened a peek. Vanilla and lavender stripes met his eye, with a rose lace and ribbon trim along the waistband.

He shot upright, his face no longer hot from the laundry, but hot with horrified embarrassment. He stared at the garment like it might come to life, jump on him and eat his face. It hadn’t so far.

‘It should be fine to pick them up, right?’ He thought with his frozen hand stretched out.

Why was he acting weird about this? They used to mix their laundry up all the time when they were younger. It’s actually how Hinata acquired a love of hoodies in the first place, because she loved to wear the beige one Obasan got him. She can pull off softer colors, but he can’t, so it was easily hers from that moment on.

He plucked up her panties by their corners and held it away, like it were an envelope full of Ricin, and he gazed at it mindlessly. Somehow they were exactly what he expected Hinata to wear, they were girly and cute.

Pale skin flashed before his eyes, a taboo image of Hinata in these panties, lifting her pleated uniform skirt up had startled him and he dropped the undergarments with a yelp.

Did he really just imagine her that way?

Naruto tried to smack the stupid from his mind until his cheeks burned with physical pain, then with everything he could muster, he snatched up the pair and ran for her bedroom, adding it unceremoniously to her hamper of clean clothes.

He pretended to be asleep by the time she got home.

He ignored the sweet voice that slid through the hole in the wall until she gave up and stopped calling him.

There was simply no way he could hold a conversation with her after that experience.

And to think he had to rely on his skin mags to purge him of his sin.

____________________________

Weightlifting was doing wonders for him.

For starters, it was taking his mind off of his libido.

For another, his physique was changing. He was starting to sprout up, too. Hinata’s former bullies were starting to learn some new feelings, like reluctance and fear. They eventually moved onto the freshman to enslave, leaving him alone to finally live his final year of middle school the way he always wanted.

The more he did weights, the more girls started to look his way, not just at Sasuke-teme.

Life was looking good!

Is what he thought when he was hanging out on the roof with Sasuke and two Ojou-gyaru types. One girl was straddling Sasuke while Naruto spooned the other girl from behind.

A dire thought hit him when he realized only six months remained until graduation. A choice he had been overlooking was rapping its knuckles against his temple, and he could hardly shoo it away.

“Hey.” Naruto turned his head towards Sasuke.

“Hn?”

“Where are you going for High School?”

Sasuke turned his head up towards the sky. He was pensively silent. Then he shrugged. “I’m going to stay here.”

“So you’re going to Konoha Normal High?”

“Just like everyone else.” Sasuke said.

‘Everyone else’ didn’t include Hinata, and he was supposed to stick close to her.

How suspicious would it be if he chose to follow her to her high school?

What if he couldn’t? What if she was following the same path as Neji?

Neji would be there until her senior year. Was his responsibility to the both of them over already?

Naruto would later get a text from Obasan that she would be spending the night with Asuma.

K-Obasan: There’s curry udon in the fridge.

He narrowed his eyes at the text.

Just because you add noodles to leftover curry doesn’t make it a Naruto-approved dinner!

“Udon’s not even the same thing!”

His steps slowed in the school corridor. It was enough for his rooftop date to catch up with him.

“Your face looks weird when you’re glum.” She giggled as she poked his cheeks.

“Yeah, well, I just realized I’m about to go home and no one’s going to be waiting for me.”

“Oh?” She circled her arms around his own and leaned in close. “Good for us, huh?”

His eyes widened with realization. A goofy grin stretched across his face, the corners curling lasciviously.

‘Yeah,’ he thought, ‘I’m owed this.’

____________________________

Author Note: I'm forgoing the one-shot because I still don't have that kind of discipline. ;D I'll definitely try to finish this short story to the end. I had received some good title suggestions for this story, but I ended up going with another song name because I can't seem to do anything else. ¯\_༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽_/¯

I'm still going to try to adhere to the canon of the original fic to the best of my ability. I would totally declare this new canon, honestly, but then it'd be a Secret Dating fic with smut and it would never line up with what I already wrote. 😓

Anyways, I hope you liked this so far!

#naruhina #naruhina fanfiction #naruto x hinata #asynchronous with you fanfiction #foster sibling au #chapter one #chapter 1 #ch 1

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