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jaskierswolf · 3 years

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Hey babe <3 Here's a soulmate concept for you: soulmates share a braincell and all of the same kinks. (It's us. This is a callout post for us)

Soooo this is going undercut from the get go... I wasn’t sure how I was going to write this but once I started I kinda fell in love with it. It’s also late so I’m not sure how effective proof reading was....

Geraskier modern AU - Soulmates but kinky? 1.4k.

Warning: 18+, no actual sex but this is very horny...., mentions of sex toys, masturbation, handcuffs... and more? Seriously... 18+ Only.

Now with a sequel by @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

Part Three now up

Also on AO3

Geralt was having a shit day, shit week really. Ciri had been sent home from school the day before for fighting with one her classmates, despite the fact that she had been defending herself from a bully. Work at the fire station had been especially draining too, non-stop calls all week. He was irrationally angry at the world, not helped by the burning itch under his skin. He’d been unbelievably frustrated all week and no matter how much he jerked off in the shower, he just couldn’t get rid of that ache at his core. His dreams this week had been pure filth, dreams of bursting through a window into a burning building to rescue the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, gorgeous cornflower blue eyes that haunted him even during his waking hours.

Dandelion’s eyes.

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. His infatuation with the OnlyFans star was getting out of hand. He’d discovered Dandelion just over a year ago, his dating life was non-existent and he had been getting unbearably horny. He’d stumbled upon Dandelion on a desperate bid to sate his growing urges. It had worked for a few months, but lately it had only been getting worse again. Every Monday evening he’d spend in frustrated torment, dreaming of Dandelion in lingerie, or watching him as he brought himself to the edge of an orgasm before letting out a pitiful whine as he gripped the base of his cock before he could come. This week he’d been plagued with the thought of Dandelion going about his day with a plug up his arse so that, by the time he was ready to record his video, he could get straight to fucking himself on his favourite bright pink vibrator.

The thought of the lube sliding down Dandelion’s thick thighs as he pulled out the plug had been enough to send Geralt over the edge as he bit down on his hand, come painting the bathroom tiles white before being washed away.

The weirdest part about Geralt’s fantasies was that no matter what he thought, or dreamt during the week, Dandelion’s videos would match when they were released on Wednesday. So Geralt was taking bets on either a role-play where Dandelion needed rescuing or the butt plug, he was secretly hoping butt plug, the fireman rescue scenario would be too close to home. He was already struggling to put distance between his life and Dandelion’s online one. He sighed and pulled out his phone to check the time. The video wouldn’t be released for another couple of hours at least, which was fine. He wouldn’t be able to watch it until Ciri was safely tucked up in bed, the unenviable life of a single parent. First he needed to finish the grocery shopping, pick up Ciri from school, cook dinner, help Ciri with her homework and then maybe watch some TV with her before he could bundle her upstairs to bed. It felt like an awful lot of work for his day off.

He groaned again, thinking about Dandelion in public had been a mistake, and one he’d made countless times before. If he were the superstitious type, he might have said that Dandelion was his soulmate. There were all sorts of papers and articles that suggested that soulmates existed, that your soulmate was one that understood you on a level that no one else did, that you in some way were telepathically linked. On one hand it would explain how a random OnlyFans porn star knew exactly what Geralt had been dreaming of all week despite the fact he never mentioned it in his comments, on the other hand it was bullshit.

Utter bullshit.

He grumbled under his breath and went in search of the snack aisle. He’d been craving white chocolate covered pretzels all day and Ciri had finished his supply off without telling him. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the other man standing by his favourite snacks until it was too late. He crashed into him, putting his arms around the other man to stop him from falling.

And suddenly bright cornflower blue eyes were staring up at him.

“Fuck!”

Geralt stared back into the eyes of Dandelion… the man he’d been infatuated with for months.

“Umm… hi?” Dandelion gave a little wave, biting his lip and running his hand through his soft brunet hair. Geralt swallowed as Dandelion released his lip, a move he’d done thousands of times in his videos.

“Sorry,” Geralt grumbled. “Wasn’t thinking straight.”

Dandelion laughed, a beautiful musical laugh that was even more captivating in person. “Oh darling, I never think straight. I’m Jaskier, by the way.”

Dandelion, no Jaskier, extended his hand and Geralt took it, surprised by his firm grip.

“Geralt.”

“White chocolate covered pretzel?” Jaskier asked, tilting his head and passing Geralt a box.

Geralt blinked and took the box without thinking. “Thanks.”

Geralt’s thoughts were going a hundred miles an hour and yet he could only manage single syllable words whilst Jaskier smiled at him, brighter than the fucking sun. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so smitten.

Shit.

Jaskier just laughed again, his hand gripping Geralt’s arm. “Forgive me for being bold, but you sir, are fucking gorgeous.”

Geralt licked his lips, barely resisting the urge to push the brunet up against the shelves and kiss him senseless, but he knew he needed to tell Jaskier the truth before anything else was said. “You’re Dandelion.”

Jaskier blushed very prettily and scratched the back of his neck. “Ah. Yes. Hello.”

“Sorry, I thought you should know,” Geralt frowned, he hadn’t meant to make Jaskier uncomfortable. “I umm… I like your videos.”

Fuck, why had he said that?

Jaskier laughed, the sounding easing the tension in Geralt’s shoulders, and winked. “Oh so do I, they’re a pleasure to make.”

Geralt smiled at the joke. “What’s the video this week?”

“That would be telling. What would you like it to be, Geralt?” Geralt name fell from his lips like fucking prayer.

Geralt’s mouth went dry as he thought about his fantasies from Monday night, and the dreams of rescuing Dandelion that had he rutting against his bedsheets in his sleep. “Had a couple of ideas.”

Jaskier raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“Well how about you give me your number, and we can discuss this somewhere more… private?”

Geralt nodded and they exchanged numbers. Geralt felt like he’d stepped into a fever dream, why Jaskier hadn’t been put off when he’d admitted he was a fan, he had no idea, but he wasn’t complaining. They’d only just met but Geralt couldn’t shake the feeling that Jaskier was going to change his life. He felt lighter already, the day seemed brighter. He was just saying goodbye to Jaskier when the man shuffled awkwardly, letting out a soft moan, his face flushing deep crimson.

“Jaskier?”

“Fuck, sorry. I umm, I’m filming a bonus video later tonight. Once I’ve posted Monday’s. It needed a little prep work,” Jaskier admitted with a sheepish smile. “If you catch my drift.”

Geralt blinked at Jaskier. “The fuck?” He muttered mostly to himself. “You didn’t happen to record a role-play on Monday did you?”

Jaskier’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “How did you know?”

“It’s gonna sound stupid.”

“Tell me.”

Geralt took a deep breath and then closed his eyes, not wanting to see Jaskier’s face when he admitted it. “Been dreaming about it. Your videos always seem to align with my dreams, or umm… thoughts when I’m alone.”

“Like… soulmates?” Jaskier’s hand was on his cheek, the contact burning his skin and he felt a swell of arousal, heat prickling his skin.

“Never believed in that,” Geralt admitted, opening his eyes to find Jaskier gazing back at him with wide hopeful eyes that made Geralt feel strangely warm inside. “Starting to wonder though.”

Jaskier leaned in, brushing his lips against Geralt’s cheek. “Call me, Geralt, who knows maybe I’ll even make a video specially for you? Or…” Jaskier smirked, winking in a way that should have been illegal “you could always join me. There’s some things I’ve been dying to film that simply require a partner.”

“I’ll bring the handcuffs,” Geralt murmured so that only Jaskier could hear.

Jaskier laughed. “Oh we are going to get along splendidly, Geralt.”

Geralt chuckled as Jaskier sauntered away down the aisle, filling his basket with Geralt’s favourite foods. “Soulmates,” he scoffed.

Maybe it wasn’t bullshit after all.

#the witcher #geraskier #modern au #geralt of rivia #jaskier pankratz #nsft #mind the rating #it gets spicy #wolfie's witcher writing #geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

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angelicmichael · 3 years

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renegade

Andy Dolan x reader

Summary: After another night where Hedwig abandons Andy; reader is left with no other choice but to try and help console him the best she can.

Words: 3.6k+

Warnings: vague mentions of drugs and being intoxicated, some jealous! reader, lotsss of angst, brief fluff, mainly hurt/comfort fic tbh hehe, major Hedwig slander oops, maybe a bit of unhealthy relationships (??), slowburn, some conflict/arguing

A\N: hey y’all, hope u enjoy this hehe. I was mostly going for a angst and fluff vibe when I wrote this but it just turned into hurt/comfort so.. hopefully it’s still enjoyable !! :) this takes place sometime in episode three probably lol. ALSO fic is named after the song Taylor swift has recently been featured in 👉🏻👈🏻

The town, Eden; regardless of its beauty was a force to be reckoned with.

Being practically forced to live in a town that was so.. particular was never something you envisioned for your future in the past, but now you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else; even given the choice.

After all how could you exactly complain?

If you were to ask any person- (or any sane person that didn’t know of Eden that well) they would say that living here would sound like complete fucking heaven. A small coastal town, a tight knit community that was overly abundant with beautiful people and drugs seemed beyond euphoric.. and it was. Atleast for the first week or two.

Looking back; you were purely fucking naïve, and far too much of a optimist to assume shit wouldn’t crash or burn eventually.

Your first red flag was Hedwig.

She was one of the first people you met, and you two quickly hit it off and became close but.. things never exactly felt right with her, per say. Maybe it was because of how guarded she was, or because of the drugs she dealt.. it was hard to tell. However; Hedwig was completely fucking harmless compared to the man she introduced you too.

Andy Dolan.

Just like everyone in Eden; he was drop dead gorgeous but.. oddly hostile. At first you only saw him at parties, ones that you tried your best to avoid him at since you knew he had a notorious temper but, Hedwig being the great friend she is introduced you to him.. and that’s all it took.

You two quickly hit it off after that night (mostly because you were tired of Hedwig being your only friend and branching out never hurt anyone.. right?). Your attraction towards each other at first was strictly platonic, that was clear in how he treated you and how careful you were around him. It was almost stupid to try and not think about how pretty he was but letting your gaze linger on him for even more than two seconds felt erroneous.

You saw almost daily (or atleast every other day) how quick he was to anger and how cold he was to nearly everyone he met.. The only exception at this point was you and Hedwig but your sure if you were to even show a sign that you had romantic interest in him, he would drop you without a second thought. That thought alone was beyond fucking torturous but it wasn’t enough to stop you from daydreaming about how soft his hair or lips probably were. Ones that you doubt you would ever get the pleasure of touching but- atleast it was a nice distraction from how fucking weird Eden truly was.

Sure, it was beyond beautiful and the weather was fairly nice most days but that didn’t make up for peoples attitudes; and you weren’t referring to Andy’s. It wasn’t hard to tell that people were strangely secretive and cliquey, which only really left you with Hedwig and Andy for your friends. No matter how pretty she was, Hedwig was really only surface level friendly so you never particularly trusted her. That only left Andy (which wasn’t exactly any better when it came to being friendly but you knew he cherished your company, which was way more you could say about Hedwig).

However; it didn’t take too long for you and Andy to form a routine. Every weekend he would throw a party and you would stay with him after. The first time it happened, it was purely because you were far too fucked up to go anywhere else (which perhaps is also why Andy finally started being nice to you..) but after that, it was a question you never had the heart to say no too.

How could you? It’s not like he exactly had anyone else which made the possibility of saying no, close to impossible. Just because everyone else who lived in Eden were assholes didn’t mean you were going to be one, which is what lead you to your current predicament.

Five calls you had made that had all been unanswered is what currently lit up your phone screen, as well as your room. It was far past midnight and instead of sleeping like any other sane person would be doing - you were calling Andy or trying too anyway but he wasn’t fucking answering.. naturally.

You weren’t calling for any particular reason, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The fact that Andy wasn’t answering was a huge warning that something was wrong, after all it was a weekday and you knew he wasn’t sleeping or exactly busy.

Unless.. He was with Hedwig?

The thought automatically made your blood run hot under your skin. The feeling seething and utterly consuming until you quickly found yourself going out to your car. Doing the only thing that you knew would make your sudden paranoia go away.

As you drove through the roads that were completely vacant of any other cars and drove past houses and neighborhoods that also looked vacant of any life - you couldn’t help but to think why you even cared.

Andy never really showed interest in you, so what if Hedwig and Andy were actually doing anything?? Unless you caught them in the act, it’s not like either of them would admit to doing shit anyway but that didn’t stop you from still feeling irrationally angry and a bit betrayed.

You didn’t realize how tight you were gripping the steering wheel until you stopped the car and had to let go of it. Your fingers unnecessarily clenched and stiff to the point where they physically ached. Not to mention, you were shaking with the possibility that you could really find them here together, but now that you were actually here- you quickly realized that there was no other car here.

Odd.

You quickly (and quietly) stepped out of the car and paced up to Andy’s house. Not bothering to knock as you let yourself in, knowing that Andy wouldn’t necessarily mind that you did so.. well, you knew if he wasn’t with Hedwig anyway.

The only thing you heard were your footsteps as you took a few steps into the house. Looking cautiously for any signs of life.. any sounds or anything that could indicate anyone was in the house at all but you found nothing.

It took your eyes a minute to adjust to the near pitch darkness that omitted from the large windows that sat on the vast majority of the living room walls. The only light came dimly from the kitchen but even that was too sparse to truly allow you to see anything.

You slid your shoes off and left them by the door, not wanting your steps to allude to your presence before you could see him first and say something. Your steps far more quiet and easier to control now that you only had socks covering your feet.

You made it about halfway up the stairs, originally trying to make a beeline to Andy’s room but quickly freezing once you heard something.

It was shallow and soft but, with the contrast of pure stark silence it was nearly fucking deafening. It was a whimper at first, and it was coming from downstairs on the couch.

Your heart sank once you realized what exactly you were listening too. The first sniffle you heard nearly making you jump from how off guard you suddenly felt; that was the last thing you were expecting to hear..

You looked down from the staircase at the couch; making out a very dim outline of someone slumped over and sitting on the edge with their head in their hands. Their chest and back heaving from how deep they were crying..

You stood idle for a moment, not knowing whether to continue standing or to leave silently but you felt as if you didn’t exactly have a option. Even without asking or being able to necessarily see; you knew who it was but even knowing this- you knew getting him to talk was a good first step.

“Andy?”

Your voice automatically cut off his sobs - almost stopping instantaneously.

You saw his hands move down from his face and drop down to his lap, his head turning up to look at you. Your eyes finally adjusting to the near pitch black atmosphere.

The silence only permeated the room for about three seconds but that was nearly far too long to withstand. Knowing how unpredictable Andy was, you didn’t know if the words that were going to come out of his mouth were going to be kind or purely vile.

You started to speak fast without a second thought, the silence driving you to immediately apologize and try to fix the damage before Andy completely went off on you.

“I’m really sorry. I just got worried because you weren’t answering my calls and I wanted to make sure you were okay, but.. obviously your not,” You said. Swallowing harshly after realizing that Andy was still diligently listening and not cutting you off or telling you to leave.. That had to be a good sign, right? “What happened?” You pressed on.

“What do you think happened?” Andy answered quickly. His voice rough and rugged from sobbing, as well as probably from previously yelling.

You slowly walked down the stairs, choosing to not shy away from his sudden outburst of anger. You weren’t exactly certain which direction you would go in once you were finished descending.. but atleast you knew Andy wasn’t fucking Hedwig. Not right now at the very least.

“Was it Hedwig?” you blindly guessed. Wanting to affirm what you were so desperately hoping wasn’t true and that you could finally relax a bit. That’s if Andy wasn’t mad that you practically broke into his house.. but he didn’t seem to be. Not right now anyway.

You heard him softly laugh in response which made you smile for a second. You could tell by how he was previously crying and in the tone of his voice that he was still hurt. His laugh wasn’t genuine in the slightest; but it showed that he was done crying for the moment which was worth a smile.

“Why does it matter to you if it was her?”

“So it was,” you affirmed.

Your feet stepped off of the final step, and you found yourself approaching Andy. The choice came naturally. The closer you got to him the more apparent it was how broken he truly looked. He stopped crying but his eyes and cheeks were still glossy and wet with tears. His lips red and trembling; among looking entirely and utterly broken there was a hint of agitation present as well. You started to wonder if Hedwig truly did something or if Andy once again was blowing things out of proportion.

“Will you tell me what happened?” You asked cautiously. Your voice was soft, not wanting to unintentionally come off as too strong or hostile.

He studied you hesitantly and with a gleam of uncertainty in his eye - but nonetheless he patted the seat next to him on the couch he was sitting on. Silently urging you to sit next to him and letting you know that he would probably tell you what happened.

At first he remained quiet. Awkwardly avoiding what he knew you wanted to talk about but he still remained silent.. but his voice suddenly broke through. Making you jump at the unexpected sound that suddenly sounded so loud, even though in reality his voice was still low in tone.

“She left me.”

You stared at him numbly for a second, not feeling necessarily surprised at his words (After all, since when was Hedwig not a flight risk?) but instead feeling weirdly a bit frustrated and sad for Andy.

You knew exactly how he felt; it wasn’t like this was the first time this ever happened but hopefully it would be the last. Seeing Andy this sad and broken over someone who in reality, didn’t give two fucks about him was beyond heartbreaking. It hurt even worse for you to keep witnessing him coming back to her though.

Just when you finally opened your mouth to speak he cut you off.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s my fault and I’m such a fucking idiot-“

“Andy, stop!” You said a bit too loudly. You tried your best to hold eye contact with him when he finally turned to meet your gaze as he reluctantly looked at you. You fought the impulse to apologize for raising your voice but there was no need because you didn’t truly feel sorry. He needed to hear you out. “You need to stop blaming yourself. Hedwig’s actions aren’t your fault.. she’s like that with everyone, Andy. She’s always been-“

“I don’t give a fuck what she’s like with other people y/n! She should’ve acted differently with me, she was supposed to care about me and stay..” his words cut off with a deep inhale.

He was trying not to sob and failing miserably.

Andy quickly left the couch, taking a few steps away from you with his back turned. Trying to compose himself as you sat and.. felt entirely guilty.

Even though he had practically blown up at you; you weren’t leaving but you knew approaching him wasn’t the answer either, so you stayed seated at the couch. Hoping he would atleast sit back down next to you.

“I can’t control Hedwig or what she does, Andy but I know solely saying that I’m sorry isn’t enough either,” you started and then paused. The words you wanted to say next.. words that you knew were true but barely had the courage to say were heavy on your tongue. You knew this wasn’t exactly the time to even be thinking about how you truly felt for Andy but you couldn’t help it.

You wanted nothing more than for it to stop. His tears, his words and pleading with Hedwig, your feelings.. it wasn’t enough to just submit to it anymore and to be a witness to how you truly felt. If anything, it was slowly but surely driving you mad and you knew unless you atleast hinted at the fact that it was making you upset; Andy wouldn’t change his behavior.

You knew he payed for sex from Hedwig, it was the one thing that always kept her coming back no matter how he acted and well.. Even if his time was being bought, he liked the attention. He craved it.

It felt weird to admit to yourself that he was taking you for granted.. because he wasn’t really but, compared to how he treated Hedwig - you were definitely on the back burner. You didn’t blame him; why would he ever notice you when he could have someone like Hedwig?

You slowly looked back at Andy, noticing he was staring at you once again with glossy blue eyes which appeared dark in the lighting. A dark, almost midnight blue that would surely match the ocean waves that you could faintly hear from inside the house since the back door was open. He looked a bit annoyed but mostly intrigued. He was waiting for you to continue.

“But you deserve better, Andrew. You shouldn’t allow her to repeatedly do this to you because I know she knows how upset it makes you. She doesn’t care-“

“How do you know how Hedwig feels about me y/n?! You need to keep her name out of your fucking mouth. You don’t know her like I do,” Andy spoke roughly.

You stared at him blankly for a moment. Purely appalled that he was saying this to you in total seriousness; but you knew in reality that it was foolish to be surprised.. to not expect that he would talk to you like this eventually. After all; he blew up at everyone else, why wouldn’t he do the same to you?

You knew nothing made you inherently different and well.. this was just proving that assumption. Andy never viewed you differently from anyone else; that was now crystal clear.

Your hands started to gently tremble in your lap; and it didn’t take long for the rest of your body to follow suit. The sadness and self pity quickly washed away in what was quicker and more rapid than waves. Anger surged through your veins, forcing you to stand up suddenly. You could barely stand to make eye contact as you spoke, barely able to bear to witness how your words made him feel.

“Don’t talk to me like that. You don’t get to talk to me like that. If I didn’t randomly decide to come and check on you because I guess I’m the only one who actually gives a fuck about you, then you would’ve been alone again with no one to yell at. And maybe that would’ve been for the best,” You turned around on your heels. Walking fast and headed for the door, trying to quickly slip your shoes on before you heard Andy’s voice solemnly.

“Y/n wait.”

You stood still at first, weirdly feeling numb and waiting for the metaphorical shoe to drop. Andy’s voice was soft this time as he spoke, the roughness that was present earlier was long gone but.. you didn’t trust it.

You waited for him to catch his breath and to raise his voice and just say more words he would apologize for later; your throat tightened as you felt your body react almost instinctively. You slipped the other shoe you previously put on back off. Turning around just enough so that you could make eye contact, or attempt too with the horribly dim lighting.

“Yeah? Wait for what?”

Andy swallowed in response to your words. Almost bashfully looking down briefly to avoid saying anything or having to look at you any longer. You could see tears staining his cheeks, continuing to run down and nearly slid down his neck. He looked pathetic; and it would’ve almost been funny to see a grown man fully sob in front of you with no shame if it wasn’t your best friend and well.. the person you loved.

“Never mind. You were right; it’s probably best if you just go,” Andy’s voice cracked.

You wanted to believe that the best option for you was to turn around and leave but your judgment felt entirely skewed. Was it really the right thing to turn around and leave when he needed you? Probably not.

You knew if the roles were changed and you were the one who was upset that Andy would probably stay.. but that also depended on other circumstances as well, of course.

Stepping away from your shoes and the entrance of Andy’s house; you approached him. You tried to do so as quickly as possible before he could try to stop you or protest, but by the time he looked up you were barely a foot away.

You reached up, and with a shaky hand (that you hoped desperately he didn’t notice or wouldn’t swat away) you gently placed your fingertips on his cheek. Your thumb softly pressing against his skin, dragging your finger up as to wipe away his tears as the rest of your fingers lie under his jaw.

You tried to ignore how unsettled he looked at you doing this, and how he almost looked uncomfortable or as if he was on the brink of telling you off.. but he didn’t. He watched you diligently as you continued to brush away his tears.

“I’m sorry.. But I couldn’t stand to see you like that,” you said. Trying to give some rational explanation for your behavior even though, Andy didn’t look like he particularly cared why you were doing it. It was the fact you were doing it at all that seemed to have his interest piqued.

You tried to pull your hand back since his cheeks were dry, but he stopped you. His hand softly grabbed your wrist before his hand slid into yours.. your fingers slowly lacing together before you turned your gaze from your laced hands up to his eyes.

“Will you stay?” He asked. His voice was still rough and gravelly but this time, it was starting to sound a bit genuine.

You studied him for a second longer - your mouth dry but you knew the answer before you even spoke.

“Yeah. I’m not going to leave you Andy. I’m not Hedwig,” you spoke as if it were more of a promise rather than a statement.

You felt your stomach churn for a split second as you remembered how he scolded you earlier for talking down on Hedwig, but you smiled instead. The laughter you heard quickly subsiding your previous emotions.

“Okay,” He spoke almost uncertainly.

You could see the outline of him walking away before you felt him gently pull on your hand; making you follow him into the dark hallway which would eventually lead too, you could only guess, what would be his room.

Holding his hand like this almost felt weird but you couldn’t deny how almost.. right it felt too. Even perfect, you would dare say.

There was no way to guess what the rest of the night would entail but you didn’t exactly mind guessing; after all, how could you complain if you were to spend it with Andy?

You couldn’t. There was no way you could.

Whether it was platonic or not, spending the rest of the night right next to Andy, most likely in his clothes since you didn’t bother to bring any more of your own, sounded like heaven.

And since when did you ever complain about spending a night with someone that you had craved so bad?

Taglist: @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @king-with-no-crovvn @melodylangdon @littledemondani @celestialrequiem @sojournmichael @ritualmichael @twilightzone24

Let me know if you would like to be added or removed to the taglist :)

#Andy Dolan x reader #Andy x reader #Andy Dolan fanfic #andy dolan fanfiction #Andy Dolan #my fic #will crosspost to ao3 shortly #not 100% happy w this but oh well lol

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ronsenburg · 3 years

Text

i saw this post and IMMEDIATELY started writing an essay, so I moved it here so as not to clutter up someone else’s post...........

it absolutely blows my mind that, today in 2021, i honestly can’t remember what’s canon from the turnabout serenade case, what i read in a fanficition, and what is my own personal HC. like, it’s been more than a decade since i played the case for the first time and it’s probably been 5ish years since the last time i played AJ (definitely forgot to play it again before writing youngblood which is.... contributing to this) so i really don’t know if what goes on in my head is accurate, but, over the years, i’ve come up with a Lot of Thoughts, which i’ll discuss below.

tldr; it’s all about power (the desire for, the subversion of, the need to maintain), but if you’d like the specifics, here you go:

daryan: i think the explanation that he did it for “the money” is a line. please don’t mistake me, daryan is an asshole and a murderer, im not discounting that, but in court ive always thought that he was playing the part that everyone- especially klavier- is expecting of him. he’s the bad guy. might as well make it a finale for the books.

i’ve always seen daryan and klavier as opposite sides of the same coin when it comes to family and career aspirations. where i imagine klavier came from a well off and well loved family before his parents died, i see daryan from a working class, difficult upbringing. i read a few papers on the psychology of children/parenting style of police officers and decided early on that daryan’s dad was also a cop. his mother is either dead or (more likely) left them early on. dad coped by working a little too hard, gambling/drinking a little too much, and was overall not around a lot and kind of an authoritarian/controller when he was. it left daryan with a lot of anger he had to cope with, about what it means to be a cop, the idea of a “just cause” and the ends justifying the means, and an issue with authority (which is laughable, considering what a bully he turned out to be. sometimes we emulate our parents unintentionally; it’s the only thing we have to model our behavior on). so daryan started off at a disadvantage. klavier started off loved and supported and surrounded by expensive belongings, but the death of his parents and the subsequent emotional and financial abuse by his newly appointed guardian/brother left him in a similar place by the time he and daryan met. i think it was probably the foundation for their bond, and i think it’s why klavier decided to become a prosecutor instead of following in his brother’s footsteps and why daryan ultimately decided to enter law enforcement as well. i think they had a lot of optimistic, idealistic thoughts on being better than the people that hurt them, on utilizing the law to make the world a better place. i don’t think klavier ever conceived that kristoph could have wanted him in the prosecutors office as another pawn to play, and i don’t think he realized how fluid daryan’s morality could be.

shipping alert—you guys know me, im crazy for the idea of a “best friends to on again off again lovers to tenuous coworkers to bitterly disappointed in but still harboring feelings for the other person despite being on opposite sides” dynamic between daryan and klavier. i honestly can’t separate the ship from the case and im sorry about it. if you read youngblood you know that i think daryan started to resent klavier pretty early on, when they were still together, when the band was still successful, because klavier was able to move forward and work through the issues of his past while daryan was seemingly stuck. yes, daryan had made detective and the gavinners were a hit, he’d risen above his initial social standing and thrown off the control his father, he had money and fame and a future. but everything he had was because of klavier. daryan needed klavier, emotionally, morally, financially. but even when klavier was professing his love for daryan, both privately and in the form of chart topping songs, he didn’t need daryan. it was obvious (and of course, healthy, but how do children of abuse learn what a healthy relationship looks like without help? especially when the only relationships you’ve ever had are codependent and, in some ways, just as toxic?) and so things spiraled. daryan got possessive and angry again and klavier got distant and they broke up and got back together and broke up and didn’t get back together but kept ending up back in each other’s arms for comfort and for support and because how the hell do you move on when the person you’ve been in love with since you were 15 is sitting next to you on a tour bus and is also your partner in a homicide case and singing songs he wrote about you on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans?

okay, shipping glasses off, sorry. but no matter how you look at their relationship, daryan’s promotion out of homicide was probably the most distance they’d had from each other in years, as it removed a large chunk of the daily “working relationship” aspect. and without klavier there to act as a moral compass, it was likely easier to slip back into his earlier thoughts about what constitutes justice and his intense hatred of being pushed around by someone who has more power than you. so enter the chief justice with a son who is sick, dying even, but can’t get the medicine he needs because there’s a government out there telling them no. The reasons are arbitrary: the medicine could be used as a poison and can’t be found anywhere else so it might come back to bite the country in the ass if it’s misused by criminals. newsflash: pretty much all medicine is poisonous if it isn’t used correctly, should we stop using penicillin entirely because some people might be allergic to it? they’ve essentially condemned a whole bunch of people to death because they’re worried about their reputation. and that doesn’t sit well with daryan, who is caught up remembering the bullshit justifications his dad would spout when he knocked him around, that kristoph would give when withholding every single penny of money klavier was entitled to until he agreed to do what kristoph wanted. it isn’t right, it isn’t fair and unfair laws shouldn’t have to be upheld, especially when they’re the unfair laws of a country you most definitely did not swear to uphold and protect. it was never about money, though daryan agrees to take it when the chief offers it to him, more for his comfort level than for daryan’s need or desire. it’s about justice and putting a bully in it’s place with a (seemingly) victimless crime that should be so easy given his role in the international division of criminal affairs and klavier’s sudden hard on for the country of borginia. seriously, how could this have been any more straightforward? daryan is capable of murder, though. all cops are. and if it came down to a “them or me” shootout, of course he’d pull the trigger.

machi: when you come from nothing, the desire to have something of your own is overwhelming. the idea that machi is famous and financially set is disingenuous; he is not individually famous, he is Lamiroir’s “blind” pianist. yes, she views him as a son and seems to care deeply for him, but his main purpose in her life is to perpetuate a lie. machi has been abandoned before; what will happen to him if lamiroir suddenly remembers who she was in the past? what if she has a family and a true son of her own and has no use for him? what if their secret is found out and the public rejects him for his role in it? he is 14. what does he know about being provided for? about contracts and trust funds and royalties? he ended up in an orphanage originally because he was unwanted, and that led to a life of poverty and hardship. abandonment issues are rooted in fear and are rarely logical. i find it far easier to believe that machi did it for the money, but more for the power money might have given him towards independence in an unfeeling and capitalist world.

kristoph: i won’t get into this, because this is supposed to be about daryan and machi and the guitar’s serenade, and kristoph is not really involved in that at all. but i think everything that kristoph has ever done in the game, good or bad, is rooted in a pathological need to constantly be in control. i think that kristoph and klavier both have very intense personalities that they have sought to control over the course of their lives for the sake of their careers. kristoph believes that to be a good lawyer, you need to play your cards close to your chest, that to show your hand is to expose a weakness that the enemy can exploit, that to show no weaknesses at all places you in a position of power. klavier believes that to show his true self, to display his weaknesses and fears to the public, would result only in their rejection. as such, they both wear masks of their own creation even under the most intense of pressures: kristoph as pleasant and calm, klavier as magnetic and dynamic. note the primary difference in their rational? klavier wants to be wanted, while kristoph wants power. and power corrupts, after all. once you have it, what could be more overwhelming than the idea that you might lose it all? it can drive even the most rational people to commit acts of passionate irrationality in the name of holding on to that power. and kristoph has so many pieces involved in his strategy to maintain.

#i love daryan crescend i'm so sorry #i cut this to spare you all the pain of my rambling and also my inability to use caps and proper punctuation #gonna tag this as klavdar so you can avoid it just in case it bothers you #i think it's hilarious that this is JUST AS MUCH ABOUT KLAVIER as it is about any of these other people #shut up krissy #i have a lot of feelings about this case okay #man i'm still obsessed with lamiroir and machi's portrayal in 'dirty sympathy'#excellent stuff i'm going to go read that again #klavdar #i don't think i ever managed to squeeze in my hc about the specifics of kristophs abuse towards klavier into any fics #specifically the financial aspects of it #but its absolutely an effective weapon #klavier's money from his parents would absolutely be in a trust and controlled by kristoph until he was legally able to access it #he would have to ask kristoph for EVERYTHING #can you imagine how easy that would be for kristoph to turn against him? as a means of control? i just......#broke: kristoph physically abused klavier when he was a kid #woke: kristoph didn't have to abuse klavier when he could manipulate him so completely with money and mind games #all the while making klavier believe that he was truly looking out for him and any hurt klavier experienced was selfish and misguided #and klavier's fault #:|

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palukoo · 3 years

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amy, cj, donna, and andy!!!

them!!! they!!! the girls!!!

okay. so. this is gonna be another one where i do some sets of 2 first, and because of that it's going under a cut haha

amy & cj!! okay, i know we've talked about them, but... god they're everything. i touched on them in this post basically to say that like. in canon they are set up as friends (and, in fact, close friends) without really giving us much of that. i see them basically as having met at some women in politics function with cj at emily's list and amy at now, and making jokes and hitting it off easily and eventually through running into each other again and again actually talking. the other thing is that... amy and cj are really similar, actually. funny and smart as hell and confident on the surface, kind of a mess beneath that. it's the humor as a defense that josh calls cj out on, the confidence masking insecurities (specifically the fear of letting people down), down to one of my favorite parallels between them of "he thinks of you like a daughter, cj" "that's not a good enough reason to keep me around" vs anything when amy thinks abbeys gonna fire her or when jed kind of does. the difference with them is... cj's focused on public image and conforming to that, on loyalty, etc, and amy's really, really not, and is terrible at working for people.

donna & andy, oh how i wish we'd seen them more! in canon they've got a few lines in gaza, and they seem familiar, plus earlier on during sam's campaign in california there's scenes with the two of them even if they don't actually talk to each other. i... don't think they really know each other well, but i think they could find some common ground, especially after gaza and i really want to write about them dealing with their trauma from it together some, because i think they'd both have a certain level of survivor's guilt, and to an extent i also think that andy would feel really bad talking about it with donna because she wasn't in the car and didn't get hurt and donna did. i also think... i'm not at all an expert, but i assume donna would be knocked unconscious pretty immediately, and so i kind of headcanon that they have a really... careful? conversation where donna's sort of just asking andy what happened, if she's comfortable talking about it?

cj & donna are everything! they (and occasionally others? but mostly them) are like. the emotional, compassionate, optimistic centers of the show, really, which is... something i could talk about more considering they're the only two consistently present female characters really but yk... but it means that you get this thing of kind of reminding everyone else to be like. human, and i like this for them a lot as characters (even if from a gender perspective i don't necessarily). they also both do the quiet loyalty thing without such a complex about it oh my god. and one of the things i really do like about later seasons donna doing press is that she does it in a very cj way at times and that's kind of beautiful. and then... at some point i will put down coherent thoughts about no exit but i love how much they care about each other and calmly call each other out but get really defensive because the other thing about them is that they're both insanely perceptive and sort of evasive, and they're fighting but it's kind of each of them being like "let yourself be happy!!!" anyways. this post. yeah.

amy & andy!! so. amy & andy are really really similar. are y'all noticing a pattern yet? anyways, i mean, it's by nature of being love interest to a main man, and she's angry and funny and yells at him and makes fun of him and he's a little hapless and... yeah. but... any of these characters i can say "oh theyre smart and funny" thats any west wing character. amy and andy also just really want to fight, and don't want to give up or in ever. i don't think of them as super close, but i can't imagine a world in which amy hasn't fundraised for andy's campaigns, or where they haven't worked together trying to get some legislation to pass. in the same way that cj and donna (and abbey and helen) have the quiet loyalty to contrast, say, toby and josh's (and leo's) very blatant, always talked about loyalty, they... just don't have that. i'm not saying they aren't loyal, they just aren't insanely committed to it. they prioritize themselves and their agendas rather than others, which i don't think we're really supposed to like them for? but i find it refreshing. also. the energies they have in process stories? unparalleled. i love thinking about them working together.

oh does this mean it's time for amy & donna? okay. well. i think the thing about them is that people assume they don't like each other when they really actually do. i mean, like, yeah, we rarely see them together, but i also talk about them in the post i linked for cj & amy, and here. I think they make fun of josh together a lot. i think that donna is bothered by amy being antagonistic and frankly hypocritical towards josh but also recognized that it's a two way street, and it makes her frustrated with both of them. i think amy is (knowingly a little irrationally) hurt by josh's loyalty and care for donna over her (i... actually mean this platonically), and donna's seemingly blind loyalty to josh. but i think... amy validates donna's political abilities multiple times, and donna seems to admire amy. i think they become friends and trust each other a lot and make each other better. i can't write this answer and pretend i haven't written a 176k wip about them falling and being in love with each other.

and cj and andy!! i also can't pretend i don't have an outline + some snippets of a fic for them! we don't see much of them in canon, either, but like. there's that scene where they're both kind of yelling at toby that's pretty iconic. when that couple is harassing andy in that hotel bar in the california 47th, cj technically steps in before toby (very differently and i could write a whole thing on that too). andy at one point points out how cj is feeling to toby which is a lot. (that whole scene is a lot), and then in s7 the scene where andy is trying to get cj to get the president to pardon toby makes me crazy. i don't know that i can explain why i ship them, but i really really do, and i think that there's a lot of history in their relationship because of their jobs and because of toby. this is also a thing with amy and andy, but there's this interesting contrast because while i'm sure andy has insecurities, she also seems genuinely self assured. oh also there's... andy is kind of abrasive and accidentally hurtful on top of charismatic, and cj is very quiet with her (negative) emotions, and doesn't often lash out and instead internalizes a lot of stuff? it's an interesting thing about guilt and anger with them.

so... the four of them is fun! like, amy and andy just getting set off about something political, and cj and donna just like quietly agreeing/being amused and bringing up their own points maybe but the two of them are just going on. amy and/or andy being frustrated over something that josh and/or toby did, and bonding over it, and donna and cj being incredibly uncomfortable. i mean, i also just see this really clearly because i parallel their relationships a lot so like, cj and donna talking about... being sort of awkward/guilty/reluctant about being in a relationship with andy and amy respectively bc they don't want to hurt toby and josh, and andy and amy bonding over being really frustrated by this outwardly bc they're there own damn people, but deep down kind of understanding and relating to that guilt... i mean like, i think actually putting the four of them in a room together would be just deeply funny if a little stilted depending on the context, but none of them are the most "let's talk about my feelings" so i don't think a lot would come out between them in casual conversation. you get them in a situation where either donna or cj is doing the thing their very good at about calmly calling people out, or where either andy or amy is angry enough to not be thinking about if they're being hurtful? that's interesting, and because you can see the different ways that all of the sets of two have different ways they can relate or are the same, or even groups of three, and so depending on the specifics you'd get really different dynamics of who is agreeing with/supporting who and how.

#tww #asks #answered #claudiasjeancregg #thank you for this really i love the four of them so much and theres so much to say hence the two fics #sorkins thing with gender and loyalty and like. the two women he will write and make variations on... its not a good look but like i #really do end up loving the women and the archetypes so... clown makeup

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indianascones · 3 years

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Shadow work vs Self Reflection

Occultism and spirituality are taking the world by storm. You can’t go on any social platform today without seeing it mentioned, referenced, whether seriously or lightly. Like most things that gain popularity, words start to lose meaning and the true definitions become lost. That’s what inspired me to write this post today to the empty void of Tumblr.

The term shadow work is very rarely understood, but it’s a favorite to use because of the imagery it triggers. It sounds dark, mysterious, complex, and social media Occult Practitioners gain their notoriety by capturing their audience with that appeal. In fact the allure of that practice title probably played a big part in pulling anyone that’s reading this post, in.

So without further ado, let’s get to the the differences! We’ll start with the easiest and most common first:

Self Reflection

This is what most people on the planet do. When we look back on a situation we aren’t particularly proud of, and think “What could I have done different?”. When we reflect we’ll feel harsh emotions that we’ll want to run from. Shame, sadness, embarrassment, and our thoughts take us to “I can’t do that again!”

To put it simply, self reflection is a review of your actions. In this situation, you are the Cause, and you created an Effect you don’t like. This is healthy and something everyone should do daily. It’s a form of mindfulness, a baby step to being fully aware and accountable for your Vibration, i.e. your Effect.

Simple enough, right? So let’s move on to what people commonly THINK self reflection is.

Shadow Work

Shadow work could be explained simply as “self reflection” but it is so much more than that. It’s a deep investigation to how and why you respond to Effects. It’s deeper than thinking of a previous scenario you don’t like, because that still only shows you the situation from your conscious/earthly perspective, and that’s not the point of shadow work. Our shadow selves are the ugly things our family and society told us were undesirable.

As a result we tucked these things deep within ourselves and suppressed them. This starts from birth. We watch our caregivers and look for ways to get a positive response. Tucking these pieces of us away causes us to react to Effects in ways some people might be confused with.

I’ll use a personal example:

I use to get irrationally angry anytime I heard Amy Winehouse or anyone mentioned her. She invoked hot, liquid rage within me. This person I never even met, got that strongly of an emotional response from me. I dealt with this for years, to the point I shrugged at my friends that were sobbing over her passing. It wasn’t until shadow work that I discovered why. To do this, I pretended she was there with me. I did two sided conversation myself.

As me, I asked her why she did what she did. Why did she glorify addiction and drugs? Why did she mock rehab and make it trendy to refuse help? I had to go deep within my subconscious in order to give myself answers. Which, was me answering myself as her.

This is where shadow work can be dangerous. You can lose yourself. You can go too deep. The point is, is to become the other person so you can get a sort of closure on your pain to their Vibration, to whatever their Effect triggers in you. You can only do that by opening yourself to their experiences, their perspective, and ultimately their Vibration, taking it as your own.

Then, when you’ve asked all you needed of them, it’s their turn to ask you.

“Why do you care what I sing about?” Amy asked.

“Because it’s dangerous.” I answered.

“That’s a lie. You fear danger, you don’t get angry. Why do you care what I sing about?” She pushed harder.

“Because it’s wrong!”

“Why is it wrong? What makes what I’m doing as a grown adult, sooooo wrong?”

“Because we couldn’t do it! We couldn’t sing that song, we couldn’t keep partying. My mom told me I was disgusting, I was a loser addict slut like my dad and said my friends were trash and I couldn’t see them! We’re disgusting, my friend is dead, and you’re cool FOR BEING JUST LIKE US.”

Boom. Just like that, I understood years of suppressed emotion. Self reflecting never would have gotten me to that level of understanding. Self reflecting made me run from what the answer was because I was embarrassed by how I felt. And there was no real action, or Cause, to examine. We had never met each other, we were strangers. Self reflection only took me to the repulsion I felt, and that repulsion was given to me by my family and society. Addicts are viewed poorly all across society and I felt my issue with Amy Winehouse was me being on the right side of society. Having the ‘right” view. I was no longer addicted to and popping pills, so I was right and how I felt was right.

This was just one small example of how Shadow Work has taught me about myself, and given me control of my response to an Effect.

Earlier I said, self reflection is examining your Cause in a Cause and Effect situation, reviewing your actions. So that would make Shadow Work a review of your reactions, even when they’re unprompted. Such as my reaction to Amy Winehouse. She did nothing TO me. My reaction was related to my family telling me a trait I was exhibiting was gross and needed to hidden.

So in a way, Shadow work is the ultimate self reflection. It tests how you process information, and how you change and react to that information.

To be clear you can do shadow work on ANYONE that elicits any strong negative emotion. In future posts I’ll go through various shadow techniques to give advice to beginner, but currently I really wanted to get the differences explained so people can better use them to serve in their life.

#spiritualjourney #occulltism #shadow work #spiritualism #aspiring novelist #healer #lakota #pagans of tumblr #Mountain Witch #eclectic witch #ManifestingMagic #crystals #candlemagick #spiritualguidance #guide #original writing #source: my brain #original post #writers on tumblr

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tardis-stowaway · 5 years

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Ten years after the Not-pocalypse, Adam Young, age 21 and recently graduated from university:

-Works in a crappy retail job and lives in a tiny, crappy flat in London

-The crappy flat has no sound insulation, so he’s always hearing the absurd amount of movement from the people in the flat above and the really loud but not quite intelligible conversations from the people in the flat next door. It’s a long way to the nearest public park, and he misses the green of home.

-Is not all that good at his customer service job, with the exception that if a customer is irrationally angry about something, he says he wants to make sure he understands the problem and repeats their complaint back to them with this look in his eyes, and they universally back down and often apologize. His coworkers love him for it. Everything else is just drudgery.

-Single, despite his best efforts. Okay, maybe not his best efforts, but some efforts.

-Knows that his childhood was uncommonly idyllic at least partly due to his powers. He’s not entirely sure how his life went quite so off the rails lately.

-Maybe his powers have faded gradually since he rejected his destiny, or maybe it’s just that on some level he absorbed the expectation that being in one’s early 20’s means being broke and a little lost, and the expectation made it happen whether he wanted it or not.

-Or maybe he just should’ve chosen a more employable course of study at uni instead of comparative religion. In his defense, it seemed relevant to his life.

-Spends much of his free time on climate crisis activism. He’ll be damned (ha) if he stood against the forces of Heaven and Hell, the Four Horsepeople of the Apocalypse, and his own birthright to preserve the continuing existence of humanity on the Earth only for humans to blunder into destroying themselves unintentionally through greed and shortsighted decisions.

-He’s been doing this since he was twelve, when Brian sent the Them’s group text an article about the group Extinction Rebellion with the caption “named for us?? :)” Adam had laughed, then actually read the article. Within a week he’d convinced the Them and a dozen of their classmates to show up at the next town council meeting with a list of sustainability demands.

-No matter how many civil disobedience events he takes part in, he never seems to get arrested. Adam suspects it’s his supernatural entity privilege. Pepper says it’s probably mostly that he’s white and great at charming his way out of trouble.

-He’s still friends with all of the Them, but they don’t live especially close together. He does have a flatmate, an American who Adam met at uni.

-At this point you, a genre-savvy reader of much Good Omens fic and meta, are probably seeing the word “American” and thinking that Adam is flatmates with Warlock Dowling. For once, you are wrong.

-Adam’s flatmate is Jesus.

-Not Jesus Christ, but a young man named Jesus Dominguez, pronounced the Spanish way (like hay-soos).

-Jesus is from Southern California, and he talks more than a little bit like a surfer stereotype. He’s got warm brown skin, shoulder-length dark hair in perpetually-mussed waves, and a little beard. He’s kinda leaning into the look to mess with people, but it’s also the same style found on at least a third of the other male-presenting hipsters in London.

-When he learned that he was going to share a flat with someone named Jesus, Adam called Crowley and Aziraphale. He’s never been gladder that he stayed in touch with them, because he NEEDED someone who understood how the Antichrist and Jesus sharing a flat sounded like the setup for a joke or a sitcom. Crowley did indeed laugh out loud, then told Adam that as a fellow lapsed member of the forces of Hell, he could personally recommend sharing quarters with a heavenly adversary. Aziraphale just muttered “oh, stop” at Crowley.

-Adam moved to London because it was easier to get to the important protests there, and because he was curious. He spent the first six months desperately homesick for Tadfield. The city was so crowded but somehow he still felt so alone, other than Jesus.

-Then a midnight fire-alarm in their building sent him and Jesus into the streets along with dozens of their neighbors. Adam finally met the people in the flat above theirs who made all that moving around noise. They were an older couple who took ballroom dancing lessons at the senior center and liked to practice at home. Mrs. Kapoor tried to teach Adam how to foxtrot right there on the pavement in the middle of the night. He stepped on her feet, but since he was in bare feet and she’d actually taken the time to find shoes it wasn’t a big deal.

-Meanwhile Jesus was finally talking to the loud young men from next door. By the time Adam wandered over, Jesus had learned their names (Leon, Seamus, and Nazim) and secured an invitation for the two of them to come over to watch Saturday’s football match, and to join their next D&D campaign (“just no more paladins,” said Nazim). Adam looked forward to finding out whether it was the D&D or the football that was the cause of more yelling.

-As the evacuation stretched on with no hint of either actual fire or clearance to go back inside, the building’s children began to get fussy. Adam found a coin on the ground (successfully picking it up, because Crowley didn’t make it to this neighborhood very often) and proceeded to distract them with stage magic.

-He initially learned stage magic from Aziraphale, but he’s better at it than the angel ever was. He hardly cheats physical reality at all. The kids love it.

-When the fire department finally gives them the clearance to go back inside, Adam’s stomach rumbles. “Is anyone else hungry?,” he asks, to a chorus of agreement. It’s too late for any nearby takeout, but Jesus chats with their neighbors about options.

-Jesus enlists Adam’s help in going from flat to flat gathering ingredients from everyone, and before long they’re serving fish tacos and grilled cheese sandwiches to a small crowd of pajama-clad people. It’s 2 am, but everyone is smiling, or at least has contentment at the edge of their yawns.

-The next day, Mrs. Kapoor brings Adam and Jesus a spider plant cutting, because she thought their flat looked too bare. Adam texts a picture of it to Crowley and receives back lengthy instructions on watering, pot size, soil, and the most effective threats for the species.

-Five months later, the local planning council has an intense debate about why crime rates in one neighborhood have dropped by 75% since their last meeting. They each try to claim credit for their pet civic projects. Actually, it’s because Adam Young has started to love London, or at least his nook of it.

-Buskers soon realize that certain tube stops are generating far more tips than they ever have before, with no obvious demographic shift accounting for the change. The common ground is that these are the stops on Adam’s commutes to work and his activist meetings. He can only occasionally spare a tip himself, but his enjoyment of the music is contagious.

-Even after the breakthrough, not every day is good. On a late summer day that just happens to be the anniversary of the day the world didn’t end, Adam comes home from a protest fuming.

-“Dude, you okay?” asks Jesus, looking up from his guitar. (Jesus sometimes goes to protests with Adam, but not usually the ones where they’re planning on breaking laws. “I’m a brown-skinned foreigner, man. Do you think I’ll get away with what you get away with? I’m not ready for that yet,” he says, and Adam can’t argue.)

-“The media barely showed up at our event, probably because it was about a million degrees and even though that’s exactly what we’re protesting, nobody wants to be out in it. Six of our people passed out from the heat and three got arrested. They still didn’t arrest me, but I got pushed over and cracked my phone screen. On my way home, some drunk on the tube vomited on my shoes. Our green jobs bill still doesn’t have the votes in Parliament, and have you seen the latest news on the Antarctic ice sheets?” Adam kicks off his shoes, then collapses dramatically onto the futon and groans.

-“Sounds rough,” says Jesus.

-“I should’ve just ended the damn world when I was eleven and I had the chance. Would’ve been quicker,” Adam mutters.

-Jesus gets up and goes to the kitchen. He brings Adam a beer. “You don’t mean that, bro,” he says.

-Adam sighs, accepting the beer. “I suppose not.”

-He drinks his beer. Dog, now grey-muzzled and slow, shuffles over to curl up at his feet. Adam pulls out his phone, which is cracked but still seems functional. He’s got a text from Aziraphale.

-“Dear Adam,” the text begins, because Aziraphale might have finally deigned to learn to text but he steadfastly refused to adopt its stylistic conventions, “I hope that you have returned safely from today’s protest. I’m very proud of your continuing efforts, and though he won’t admit it I know that Crowley feels the same. Please write back at your earliest convenience. Fondly, Aziraphale”

-Adam texts back to reassure the angel, who will doubtless pass it on to Crowley, then he texts similar reassurances to his parents and to Mrs. Kapoor upstairs. He’s still figuring out this adulthood thing, but he’s got a lot of parental figures looking out for him. His Infernal Bio-Dad isn’t one of them, and that’s the way Adam likes it.

-Through the open window comes the sound of music blasting from a car stuck in traffic below. Freddie Mercury and David Bowie are singing:

And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night, And love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves.

-He turned down the chance to rule the world, and he’d make the same choice again, but he still feels a certain proprietary responsibility towards the planet and its inhabitants. His father—his real, earthly father—didn’t raise him to shirk responsibility, and he’s not one to cave under pressure.

-Life is hard, people are mostly idiots, and the world is coming apart at the seams, but it’s his messed up life and his idiotic people and his beautiful, half-broken world.

#good omens #adam young #good omens headcanons #fanfic #post-canon #please excuse any errors and americanisms #long post #tardis-stowaway's writing & stuff

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theriverpersonshadow · 3 years

Text

Lamia Drama Part 8

WELL THAT GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED. But I guess that’s what happens when you have a majority of the people in one place XD

I hope this chapter went well... It felt kinda rambly, but it was fun seeing people play off each other. It was hard to get the same level of depth with characters as previous chapters with so many, but hey, interactions are fun too! Hope you guys enjoy.

As always, the species of lamia in this fic belong to @vex-bittys

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Keith and the rest found Alex pretty easily. And a few other lamia that were either allowed free roam or had just slipped out. She didn’t seem to notice the onlookers, more caught up in petting Oozy… who wasn’t technically in his hammock. Maybe it’s best he didn’t make that bet with Hux earlier. Sure, Oozy’s close to the hammock, but Hux would absolutely rules lawyer him and demand snacks because he’s not in the hammock. Hux was a rule stickler… when and only when it helped him in some way. Eh, Keith could roll with it though (even if his dice sometimes couldn’t, but that’s what a DM screen is for).

Keith was hesitant to break up the cute moment between the two – Oozy was apparently having the time of his life, and Alex seemed pretty wrapped up in it herself, humming some tune or another while stroking him. Keith listened, trying to place it, but…

She was repeating it, huh? Was that the only part of the song she knew? Then again, it seemed like the good part, whatever it was. Easy enough to pick up too. Keith started humming along.

Hux rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “great, two of them” and slithered over, “Yo. Girl person. Ya coming or what?”

Alex looked up, “I mean, yeah, I think? Coming where?”

“nooooooooo…” Oozy said, taking her hand and putting it back on his head. “Sorry guys. I’m stealing her. She’s my personal petter now. That’s the rules.”

“Since when?!” Hux said.

Oozy looked a moment, then licked her hand. “I licked her, she’s mine.”

Keith stared at him in shock, not sure whether to laugh or slap him. “Dude.”

Nikolai gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Don’t lick party members. Or people in general.”

“How does that work anyways? You’re a skeleton,” Alex said.

“Maaaagic,” Keith said, wiggling his fingers in emphasis. “In other words, uh… Monster biology is weird. Or half monster biology. Whatever the fuck we are.”

Nikolai nodded, “More or less, yes. I can explain it in more detail later, if you’d prefer.” He started coming forward and Alex inched away. Keith hissed before he could catch himself, but Nikolai didn’t seem offended. Instead, he lowered himself in a bow, “And I’d like to apologize for how I acted earlier… I’ll admit I, erm… Overreacted. But we’ve had issues in the past of people coming in to steal babies or eggs, one of the fools tried to snag a mamba egg and got himself killed. I just get a bit jumpy about strangers around them.”

Alex nodded, relaxing a little, but still staring off at a clock instead of Nikolai. Her hand continued to run across Oozy as she said, “I get it. They’re just little dudes, too freaking small. And some are venomous. Not like you knew me.”

“Still, I should’ve given you more of a chance or at least asked you politely to leave before turning to threat displays,” Nikolai said.

“Eh… It was my fault,” Keith said. “I should’ve warned ya I was bringing someone in. Anyways, let’s try this again. Alex, this is Nikolai. He could probably fuck you up, but he’s everyone’s mom.”

Nikolai made no move to deny it.

“Hux here is the grumpy snake. He’ll warm up to ya.”

“No I won’t.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “He’s just a grump.”

Hux mumbled to himself.

“I think you’ve met Oozy pretty well by now.”

“Sup,” Oozy said, making absolutely zero movement.

“And, erm… Nikolai, you’ve got Trousle, right.”

“Hello human! I’m Trousle! Please let me say hi.” Said Trousle’s little speaker. He was poking out from Nikolai’s sleeve, apparently wrapped around his arm.

“He’s mute, but he’s pretty fast at typing. Got his own phone and everything,” Keith said, watching this girl intently. Apparent soulmate or not, if she was dick about Trousle, she was out of here. She might’ve earned Oozy’s enthusiastic (well… enthusiastic by his standards, dude looked like a kid in a candy store, but the world’s laziest kid) approval, but he wasn’t going to let an asshole mess with the little dude. Hux would warm up, that was more him being a bit of an ass than her, but he’d get over it… probably.

“Oh that’s cool! Do you have a phone number? Honestly I think my fingers work better than my mouth sometimes, but I guess talking out loud doesn’t really have a backspace key? But yeah! C’mere… Wait, I can hold him, right? Snakes are just, like, noodle puppies.” She paused, looking at everyone in the room. “I’d offer to hold you guys, but I am literally the second smallest person in here. I mean, guess we can try, but I don’t think it’ll go well?”

Keith snorted. Gosh, she was something, huh? A little awkward, but who wouldn’t be super awkward in this situation?

Nikolai brought Trousle over and she draped him around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek, giving her little scratches behind the ear.

… should someone tell him that she’s not a dog?

…

Naaaaaaaaaah. She didn’t seem to mind anyways,

Hux made a fake-gagging gesture at the two and Keith rolled his eyes, whispering at them, “Oh let’em have this. It’s cute.”

“I’m getting diabetes. Like, right now. They’re just beaming diabetes across the room.”

“Be nice,” Nikolai said, “It’s not going to kill you to have to actually smile at a human once in a while.”

“Yes it will. It’s, like, a terminal thing. If I smile at a human, I will instantly turn to dust.”

No such condition had ever existed and likely never would.

Keith’s first instinct was to back up Nikolai, but it was almost an in-joke that he’d at least try to defend Hux no matter how clearly in the wrong the guy was. Admittedly, it was as often as not either due to boredom or just feeling bad for the guy…

It’s not like Hux didn’t have a point – a point that he had iterated in frustrated, sometimes tear-filled tirades at least a few dozen times. He didn’t want to be treated like a pet, he’s allowed to not want to be a pet. Sure, not every adopter is like that. Some might’ve been looking for pets, yeah, but just as many want a kid or a friend, especially with full sized lamia. It could be more or less just like adopting any other monster, save for needing a good deal more raw meat. But Hux didn’t see it that way… Not that Keith ever blamed him. There wasn’t a huge market for full-sized Corals, their reputation as being stubborn, a bit lazy, and tsundere as hell was cute in something you could pick up and snuggle as it chirped indignantly and secretly enjoyed it – like an extra intelligent, reptilian cat – but less so when it was just as big as you and probably stronger. Everyone wanted a housecat, no one wanted a mountain lion. Or those that did need something to growl and hiss would probably pick Kings or Mambas.

Nikolai gave a long-suffering sigh, “You will not turn to dust if you’re forced to be nice every now and then.”

“Yeah I will. It’ll, like, strangle my soul or some shit. Keith, back me up here. Tell ‘im.”

Nikolai had the distinct impression of a haggard mom trying to reason with an unruly kid. He just looked so done. Dude could handle customers, angry mamba moms, being a jungle gym for babies, and training employees who may or may not have believed he knew he what he was doing, but Hux was his breaking point.

Keith stifled a chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as his mind worked over what to do… He didn’t want to just abandon Hux – Nikolai would know it was just him being a loyal bro – but Alex wouldn’t. She might not’ve been looking at them, but he caught the way she kept glancing over…

“Welp, ya heard him. He’s sick. I prescribe ten CC’s of coffee with extra sugar and bribery with shiny objects.”

Hux’s head popped up, body at attention. “I’m listening… How many shiny objects are we talking.”

“… we’re not bribing him.”

“I’ve got extra dice?” Alex said hesitantly. Trousle was looking at her in concern, patting her face. She said, “I mean, I kinda like having all my dice, but I guess I don’t need seven sets… I’m keeping the black ones though, they’re good for fight scenes. And the orange ones, they were my first set ever and are not for sale. Also, the green and purple ones are just a fae vibe, I’m keeping them. They’re just average, but I like them.” Pause. “And the lesbian dice are mine. They won’t like you anyways, you’re a boy.”

All of them nodded understandingly. You could only play DnD so long and not get irrationally attached to the colorful little click clack rocks of fate.

“That counts as one shiny object,” Hux said.

“There are seven in each set!” Pause. “Well, more or less. I’ve lost some over the years.”

“You’ve got a point… More dice for the dice dragon! Mwahahahah!” Hux said, hamming it up.

Keith’s mouth twitched into a grin as he shook his head at the goof. How was he this cute? Just… goober. His friend is a total goof sometimes.

“Can I try the lesbian dice?” Trousle asked, holding himself at an awkward position to type.

“I… I guess? Just give them back after…” Alex said. She ran a finger across Trousle’s head, smiling as he let out little breathy attempts to “Nyeh.”

“Why are they lesbians anyways? Do they only work for girls?” Nikolai said.

“Here, lemme show you.” She unzipped one of the pouches on her bag and brought out a baggy full of dice that were lesbian flag colored. “My friend got them for me for Christmas.”

“That’s amazing. I want twelve,” Keith said.

“You’re not a lesbian… or a girl! I think… I mean, if there’s something you want to tell us, that’s fine, but I was under the impression you weren’t even interested in relationships,” Nikolai said.

“Maybe I could get, like… Dice that are for people who are just no.”

“Ace and aro. Probably,” Alex said.

“Oh cool. Words for it. Nice!”

“Give me words for friends with everyone! I want a flag too!”

“I… I don’t know if there’s a flag for that? Maybe we could put a dog on a flag? It’d be hard to make dice with dogs on them though,” Alex said.

“Ya could put a little dog face on every side and interpret the roll based on how much they’re a Good Boy,” Keith said.

“That would only roll Nat 20’s,” Alex said, deadpan.

“… good point. It could be the luckiest dice,” Keith said, grinning.

“I AM THE GOODEST BOY. Give me dog dice.” Trousle said, tucking the phone away to throw his little fists in the air, a gleam in his eye as he sat on Alex’s head.

Keith laughed. “Oh my gosh. I mean, that sounds adorable, but, uh… I think that miiiiight be a little too game breaking, even for me.”

“Give me dog dice.” He slithered back down to around Alex’s neck, holding himself out towards Keith the best he could and giving some mix between a glare and a pout.

“Trousle no.”

“Trousle YES,” Alex said.

Troulse nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in place so hard that he fell off and Alex yelped as she caught him.

“Are you alright?!”

Trousle gave a thumbs up, coiling around her arm.

Oozy had apparently fallen asleep on the floor, so Hux poked him with a stick, making Oozy whine. “Soooooo… Are we gonna get Glitterass, or are we just shadow banning him from this? I mean, I wouldn’t say no if we are…”

“We should probably go get him, yeah,” Keith said. “Ya ready Alex? Liam’s a mamba, and one of his eyes don’t work. Try to stay on his good side, literally. Metaphorically too if you want, but he doesn’t like having people where he can’t see or hear them well.” Not that anyone would like that, just courtesy really, but maybe not something you’d think of immediately.

Alex nodded, “Alright, let’s go!”

#Lamia Drama #Lamia Drama Part 8 #Keith #Hux #Nikolai #Oozy #Trousle #Keith the Chain #Hux the Coral #Nikolai the King #Oozy the Corny #Trousle the Papython #Bittybones #Lamia Bitties #Vex-Bitties #Longass chapter #I meant to have liam here too but guess not #Kinda rambly

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crystallos-sol · 4 years

Text

The 3K event

Okay so here I am making a massive 3K analysis again. I wanted to do one of Gray Fullbuster because he's a character I relate to the most and he's definitely one of the more complex characters. The rest is under the cut, be warned its long & you might not agree with some things but its a fact of life to not agree with everything.

To make it easier on my poor hands I am going to divide this up by arc! I will list the arc at the top starting from the beginning of the story. It will be two paragraphs of his behavior for each arc!

Maco Arc:

Gray here first appears nude, fighting and asking Lucy for her underwear because he lost his. That is mostly the extent of his appearance during that arc. Analyzing that small moment we can conclude: He has a nude problem, He has a temper, Him and Natsu don’t get along very well. We can also conclude or make an educated guess based on the fact that he is nude and asks Lucy for her underwear: He is a pervert or has those types of intentions.

We also have only just met him during that arc. So there isn’t going to be a lot of information about him at first. Looking at his behavior, he is certainly interesting and seems to almost be brash. There is something about him that does say he has a brain under his head of emo hair.

Daybreak arc:

This arc focuses on Natsu and Lucy and Happy.

Lullaby arc:

This is where we learn alot about Gray. His interaction with Natsu before Erza shows up says that they are in some type of friendship. It is clear that they can stop fighting one another but it appears they just want to fight one another. We definitely learn Gray is a humorous character based off of his reactions throughout the arc. His behavior suggests he is scared of Erza and gets along with Natsu when he needs to. Gray also seems to be more on the calm side of things unless he gets mad. Gray doesn't show that much emotion within his face when calm.

Gray seems to show his feelings and thoughts through actions. He also has some weird behavior and even strips off his clothing. He is a quick thinker when it counts and during the train station section of the arc, we see that he is strong in his own right. That idea is reinforced by the speed and strength of his ice magic during the battle with Lullaby. Based on all of this we can conclude that Gray is on Natsu’s level of power, He is strong and emotional in a way most people aren't. He has a stripping habit based on how when serious and on the magic car he stripped off his top.

Galuna Island Arc:

Here we learn so much about Gray. The paragraphs will be larger so please be prepared to read that.

Gray is clearly traumatized and doesn’t react normally because of it, Before Erza arrives to take them back to the Guild he is calm and collected. This suggests that it is a facade or only one part of him. Gray also has a tendency to ignore the pain he is in or twist it around. Gray is shown to have been the sole survivor of his village and having lost his parents to Delliora, a demon from the books of Zeref. This makes his actions against Lullaby who is also a demon from the books of Zeref seen in an entirely different light than before. Gray is faced with his adoptive brother who is destroying the ice that is his mentor or mother figure to get to Delliora. Gray clearly believes what happened that day was his fault.

Gray also irrationally thinks that Delliora who has been sealed away under lost magic is alive. This is shown when he tries to commit suicide to end Delliora. Surprisingly enough it is Natsu Dragneel or his rival that saves him and fights against Delliora. This moment is such a huge action. Here is really where they become even closer on Gray’s end of things. For him Natsu just destroyed the monster that took everything from him, the very thing he likely had nightmares about for years. The same event he cant process correctly because he is so emotionally vulnerable and traumatized is ended by his rival. Gray was actually set free at that moment. Afterwards there is an air of Gray that he didn’t have before. He seems almost relaxed but not sure what to do about it. Gray cannot believe he's finally free and he is also still processing that Natsu Dragneel was the one who put himself between Gray and the nightmare of his entire life.

To Gray his whole life just changed. Not only was his master set free finally but his friend saved him from self destruction. Looking at that attempted suicide it puts Gray and his character in a new light. It is clear he loves Fairy Tail and would do anything for his guild. It is purely the most drastic change in a character because he had everyone fooled. This is the first analysis of him:

Analyzing that small moment we can conclude: He has a nude problem, He has a temper, Him and Natsu don’t get along very well. We can also conclude or make an educated guess based on the fact that he is nude and asks Lucy for her underwear: He is a pervert or has those types of intentions.

Gray wore a mask and he had everyone fooled. Even the viewer/reader.

Phantom Lord Arc:

Here Gray is lighter. His character seems at peace until he sees the ruined guild hall. Almost all of his hurt and agony is thrown out the window in favor of his family. During the moments leading up to the fight Gray is stressed and angry. Like the rest of Fairy Tail he is mad. During the battles Gray doesn't hesitate. However the most outstanding moment that showed his actual character was when he stopped Juvia from dying. When he accidentally grabbed her chest during an attack and immediately backed off. Not getting into Juvia's character at all here however her reactions to those events influenced Gray’s own reaction. He wasn’t rude and didn’t attack her after the fight. He let her lay there and even smiled at her because Gray despite the mask he wore has the biggest heart in Fairy Tail.

Loke Arc:

This arc shows us a relaxed and genuinely worried Gray. He knows something is wrong with Loke during this arc, and like a friend is concerned about him. The two are painted to be friends and they both clearly have a history together based on the way Gray is worried. Gray isn’t exactly appearing in this arc a lot so sadly that's it.

Tower Of Heaven:

This mostly focuses on Erza but it does showcase that Gray despite being scared of her genuinely cares about her. It also shows again that Gray is awkward and doesn't exactly know what to do when his friends are upset. He cares about them but he hasn't figured out how to approach it or handle it,

Battle of Fairy Tail:

There isn't really anything that can be said about this that I haven't already said.

Oracion Seis arc:

Gray instantly is concerned about Wendy and wants to help her. He also automatically considers her a friend. Gray when fighting against them is clearly upset about them trying to destroy Wendy’s guild. He is mad and saddened like he is when Fairy Tail is facing a conflict. Once again showing Gray is more emotional than people give him credit for. He also backs and approves of Erza’s decision to allow Wendy to join Fairy Tail. It is clear Gray wasn’t about to let her wonder off without knowing if she would be okay first.

Daphne Arc:

I have said it before and I will say it again, there is no way Gray “ I care about my family “ Fullbuster would ever do anything like he supposedly did in that horribly written episode. I can admit that some points of Fairy Tails plot is stupid and or badly written but I don’t understand how it managed to embody a cringey fan fic from the early 200s that is in first person pov and has only 700 words and multiple chapters with no spaces.

Edolas Arc:

Gray is again upset about mistreatment and that his guild is being harmed. He also is once again showing his thinking side when he goes along with the plan Natsu, Erza and Him come up with to save their friends. He is worried about his guild mates fighting the King, but of course is relieved when they all come back alive and just a little banged up.

Tenrou Island Arc & X791 Arc:

Gray is deathly protective of his guild and it didn’t go over well when Ultear hurt Juvia. Now during this Arc Gray is targeted by Ultear because she believes he killed her mother and took her away from her. She intends on murdering Gray for it. He however is emotional about it because Ultear is UI’s bloodline. Both Gray and UI had no clue that she is alive and they certainly if aware of it would have torn that organization to shreds to reach her. Gray when faced with a monster coming to destroy them is more concerned about his family than the impending doom. He does like the rest of the guild stares death right in the eye without a hint of fear.

As any Fairy Tail member knows they are all together and they are never once going to go through something alone here. In the end when woken up by members of his guild he is happy to still be able to interact with his friends and family.

Key Of The Starry Sky Arc:

This arc mostly focuses on Lucy and the relationships of her family. There are however moments where other members of Fairy Tail have their own relationships with her explored. With Gray he is worried about her and doesn't want to lose his teammate and friend. Their relationship however is shown slightly from Gray's actions when fighting and doing his best to prevent her death. He doesn’t exactly have a relationship with her outside of friendship however that doesn't mean Gray can’t view her as an important part of his life like he does with the rest of his guild.

Grand Magic Games:

Gray's love for fighting is definitely shown here. He is also downright cheerful during the games at points. But he still is angry when his guild is targeted and when his guild mates are hurt. Gray does seem to have his head on straight during his fights, even cheering for his brother and telling him to essentially stop being stupid. Gray does get concerned about Gajeel and the Dragon corpses purely because he cares about his friends and also because he doesn't know if he feels so happy knowing dragons got pitted against one another here. He has been accused of murdering Frosch by Future Rogue who comes back through the gate. However it is believed he is lying because when Gray meets Frosch he thinks the excess is adorable and instantly wants to befriend them.

However an extreme point to know is that Gray dies for a period of time. Shoving Juvia and Meredy out of the way of a magic attack he got hit multiple times. The final shot was right through his head. Gray was however saved by Ultear who sacrificed her own life to turn back time. He has expressed no memory of this happening but says he has a blank spot in his memories he isn't sure about.

Eclipse celestial spirit arc:

Here Gray goes to fight Cancer and return him back to normal for Lucy. We also learn that Gray can’t dance well but since he was put on the spot he threw a routine together for his friends sake. He is also relieved when his friend Like or Leo is returned back to normal.

Sun village arc:

Gray is faced with the obseratady of being turned back into a child. It is also revealed that Gray can make ice disappear. He cant make the Ice that is covering the village go away without some effort. After they get the flame back to its strength he is shown confused about the ice around them. He can also safely cool others down with his magic. It really shows how much he has improved.

Tartaros arc:

Gray finds his dead father. Even though he receives a gift from his father it clearly doesn't change the pain he is in because of the loss. He is really shutting down at the fact that he lost his father twice. Gray however handles his grief differently than another character. He knew from the moment he saw his dad that he was dead. Gray looked at him and saw that without a problem. The problem here is that Grays has a knack for looking at things as his fault. He views this event has something he caused. No other character twists their pain and grief so badly. Gray knew his father was dead from the beginning. He already lost him, it's not that the second time didn't hurt just as badly it's that Gray could have prevented this. In his head he could have had his father back in his life. To Gray he failed and wasn't strong enough to save his father.

Avatar arc:

Gray is lost here. His guild, his constant in his life is gone. He has lost that contact with them. Gray clings to the part of his family that is with him. Erza scarlet. Now during the arc he had to renounce Fairy Tail and play a dark persona that isn't him for almost a year. For almost an entire year Gray was a monster he created. A monster he created for Erza, for this mission he threw himself into. He went through a massive transformation and Gray while parts of himself are still there has changed. His world view has been altered and Gray now knows that not even Fairy Tail is going to be his constant. I have written about this on my Ao3 Littledanceingdragons it is under the title: Undercover. I am not going to link it here check the notes since Tumblr shadowbans any post with links.

When Fairy Tail is brought back Gray is back to his normal self and even looks relieved because his family came back for him.

Alvarez empire arc:

This arc caused Gray so much pain. I am not going to cover the Juvia & Gray scene fully, mostly because that scene was so horribly written for a core plot moment it felt so forced and out of character.

That being said I am going to talk about how Gray would rather die than hurt a guildmate. Now this is purely because I think Gray has been pushed to his limit. He lost his father, fought demons, lost his family, transformed into a dark persona for a mission. At this point Gray at his lowest develops irrational thinking and suicidal thoughts and actions. It is crucial to remember the past for this so here are they key points of multiple paragraphs:

Gray also has a tendency to ignore the pain he is in or twist it around. Gray is shown to have been the sole survivor of his village and having lost his parents to Delliora, a demon from the books of Zeref. This makes his actions against Lullaby who is also a demon from the books of Zeref seen in an entirely different light than before. Gray is faced with his adoptive brother who is destroying the ice that is his mentor or mother figure to get to Delliora. Gray clearly believes what happened that day was his fault.

He however is emotional about it because Ultear is UI’s bloodline.

He is mad and saddened like he is when Fairy Tail is facing a conflict. Once again showing Gray is more emotional than people give him credit for.

Gray here at that point has lost it. Thinking back on those episodes it makes sense for Gray to snap at some point. He has merely done it now, when in a war, after believing one of his guildmates died. Logically that makes sense and it is understandable. Getting to Natsu vs Gray fight. Ignoring that it doesn't make sense for the cause for Gray or the cause Canon says is what happened. The fight between them was more than out of character. Mainly for a point that Natsu has addressed before the war:

Fighting when your friends are on the line isn't fun.

Yes, they fight one another constantly. However it is really more accurate to say: Spar. It is described as this:

If you spar with someone, you exchange light blows — either literally by punching each other, or figuratively by exchanging verbal blows. If you box, you might spar with an opponent at the gym while you're training. You don't strike too hard — it's just practice.

Or in other words, it's not serious. Gray and Natsu aren't trying to kill each other. The only reason it is mentioned is because Gray is clearly in a bad place there. He is having a breakdown. I also direct your attention to the fact that Gray tried to kill himself because he felt like shit over it.

You all know the scene.

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years

Text

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {3}

Summary: When emotions run high, even soulmates fight. But, following his brother’s advice, Ethan finds a way to make up for it by including his soulmate in solving a conspiracy theory leading to events that would surely make them much closer than they first were. Plus, it shows what a dynamic duo they make.

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing

Word count: 7.5k

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Induratize – to make one’s own heart hardened or resistant to someone’s pleas or advances, or the idea of love

Pain. That's her first grasp on reality. It's not something she's unused to; just as she's used to the smell of the disinfectant, Y/N knew of pain in all varieties. However, for the first time ever, she had something different in a hospital setting - a hand to hold.

From time to time, Ethan’s eyes drop to the bed sheets, but mostly they are fixed on her ashen face in a soft stare so that whenever she opens her eyes he’d be the first thing she sees. And once he notices her fingers twitch in his hold, he holds his breath in anticipation of her reaction. He feared she might be unhappy with his presence, but he refused to let go, simply closing his eyes to hide his vigilance.

Opening her eyes in a flash, her neck cracked with the sudden movement for she had to see who the hand belonged to. For a moment she thought it might be one of her parents, the painkillers playing with her mind, making her forget. But she knew it couldn't be them. It was impossible unless there was a new drug that raises the dead.

"Grant?" She croaked, her throat scratchy and her voice hoarse, the consequences of her throat closing leaving her with something to remember for a few days. Who knew she'd manage to get a penicillin allergy after her...fiftieth time taking it? She always felt like a magnet for bad luck and that incident didn't dissuade her.

Ethan wasn't really asleep, not after the night he's had. She needed oxygen more than once and her blood pressure kept dropping even with his efforts to keep it up. It felt like she decided to leave him and no matter how badly he fought for her, she was slipping through his fingers like sand.

"Yes?" He murmured, eyes still closed, lips set in a frown as if hearing her call him Grant didn't make his heart jump. He wasn't a morning person and she just realized it. Three nights they've truly known each other, three nights spent together and only on the third did she stay long enough to learn that and the only reason why she stayed is because she was physically incapable of leaving.

"Do I have the fucking plague?" She cracked a smile, struggling to speak but for a reason she couldn't quite understand, Y/N wanted to speak to him, for him, to make him laugh. The frown on his face hurt her more than it should.

She didn't get a smile, but he did open one eye in uncertainty, allowing him to bask in her meek smile. It wasn't much to someone watching from the sidelines, but it meant the world to him. She wanted to cheer him up. She wanted to see him smile. Even with her know it all, sassy, fuck the world mask, Y/N cared for Ethan and he knew that now. Even if that part of her is small, it's a start. Her heart may be hardened to love and soulmates, but he was softening her up. It’s a slow, difficult process, but Ethan is nothing if not dedicated.

"No. Neither of us got the plague, but the man who did have it died." Ethan told her, deciding hiding it from her isn't wise. She'd ask about him anyway.

Clearing her throat, she pulled her hand out of his, wiping it on the sheets as if his touch is unwanted - as if he was the one who initiated the whole thing.

"Great, so when can I get back to work?" She propped herself up on her elbows, willing to get back on her feet. In her ambition to get back in the operating room, Y/N completely missed the dismissive shake of Ethan's head and the way he jumped to his feet to pull her back.

"You're not going anywhere. In fact, you're on leave for the next week." Ethan stated, a little harshly for his taste but she gets his blood boiling way too easily and he always falls for it. She's a beautiful woman, but it's not her beauty that drives him insane.

"What do you mean? I'm an intern! Interns don't take sick days!" She insisted, sitting right back up, the stress his words caused raised her cortisol and adrenaline levels up in an instant. In all his years, he had never met a woman as stubborn as she is. For Ethan, Y/N was either wildly naive or dangerously intelligent and it is the kindness of her heart and the sharpness of her mind that enriched her soul and drew his close.

"Well, they do when their boss says so and I'm saying so. I've talked to the chief and he agrees. So, you better not show up here before next week and when you do come back, you will be doing scut for a week." Eyebrows knit together, eyes hard, Ethan seemed like an unrelenting force she couldn't fight. Not now when sitting up made her woozy and she knew he was right.

Not that's she'd tell him that.

Ever.

"Why scut?! As if being home isn't punishment enough? What am I being punished for? Huh?" Lowering her voice, Y/N felt her heart skip as the thoughts formed in her head and her mouth was quick to follow. Sometimes she acted on impulse and it wasn't always for the better.

"For leaving the morning after? Because I'm not your hookup, Grant, I am your intern. You don't get to tear into me just because I fucked you once." Swallowing thickly as she stared at his impassive face, she knew she went too far and it wasn't the time nor place and far from the way she wanted to address that night. She was just angry, trying to get some control over the situation she had no way of controlling and it absolutely drove her mad. Perhaps she wanted to get a rise out of him too. So she fucked up. She could tell just by the way his shoulders tensed and his jaw clenched and the warm flames in his eyes were extinguished.

"You have your orders. I have nothing else to say to you." Ethan turned on his heel and before she had a chance to stop him, to apologize, to thank him for saving her life, Ethan was already gone and she was left with regret and guilt.

Too used to pushing people away to protect herself, Y/N now spent her time hating herself for being so quick to speak her mind. Maybe if she was softer, playing dumb like men expect girls to, Ethan would have let her come back to work. But no, she couldn't hold her tongue and she could never play dumb to get anyone's approval. She'd hate herself more if she did.

However, she could always annoy him for progress. What more could he do? He already put her in the corner for doing everything right and then he gave her the worst job for a week to keep punishing her! At least she could get some justice by getting on his nerves, texting him random facts about animals, sending him memes on mean bosses and even voicemails where she talks herself to death about how she was right and he wasn't. All she got was Seen and a daily delivery of chicken soup with bagels and a bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice. The Get Better basket never had a note, but she knew it was his doing. Ethan cared, even if it’s a little and she couldn’t hide the smile that appeared on her lips every morning she received his thoughtful gift.

But Ethan was worse off than her. After finally having her back in his life, he managed to make himself the enemy. And he knew what he was doing was for her own good so she wouldn't make the same mistakes again, so she could use the week off to get back on her feet because going into anaphylactic shock isn't a walk in the park like she pretended to be. If he didn't bench her she would have put her health at risk and he couldn't let her do it.

Eunoia – beautiful thinking, a well mind

"You sent her home?" Grayson whisper shouted, swiftly pulling Ethan into the on-call room.

"She almost died! What am I supposed to do? Put a scalpel in her hand and let her cut someone open when she's barely standing on her own two feet?!" Ethan wasn't quite as quiet as his brother, his emotions on the verge of spilling out like a river once the dam breaks. Ethan always went through the extremes – he either loved too much or didn’t care at all, the same could apply to his temper.

"No, but you could have let her do paperwork? To observe? To watch your department for you?" Grayson listed which made Ethan's eyes widen, realizing he might have been harder on her than he thought. She’s too good at pushing his buttons, he knew it, but this good? For him to think so irrationally he couldn’t understand his own choices or see beyond his emotions? Never did he realize her influence went so deep.

"Just look at it this way: if you got sent home for a week in your intern year, you'd hate the attendee who did it. And she's more than just an intern and you need to be more careful if you want her to see you as more than just her boss. You're acting like a soulmate not a professional." Grayson explained and his clarification had stumped Ethan. He really needs to think before he acts but she makes all rational thought go out the window.

"But I also gave her a week of scut." Ethan sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head. He couldn't take it back just like that because she'd see him as easily manipulated and he couldn't allow that to spread among the other interns. He had to be a little harder than he should if she wanted to know that everything she got was due to her hard work and not because she slept with him or because she is his soulmate.

"You're in big trouble. But I do recommend you to find a way to work with her on something. It doesn't have to be a surgery and it doesn't have to be in this hospital. Find something to connect over."

Thinking how his brother is now the one who has his shit together made Ethan smile but it also made him worry. Isn't Grayson the one who does things impulsively and fucks things up? Seems like that's no longer the case but at least the advice he gave Ethan was enough for him to get an idea.

It took him a couple of days but when inspiration struck, Ethan was so excited for the implementation of his plan for more than one reason – it was for the greater good and he’d get to see her again. Any excuse to do that was more than exhilarating.

He didn't wait after his shift was done, driving to her apartment with the sole intention of convincing her of a theory many would think was insane but he was sure it was a conspiracy she could help him with.

Knocking on her door, he exhaled loudly, shaking his hands vigorously to get the nerves out. It took everything in him to stop himself from running because his heart beating so loudly was driving him insane and quite literally making him panic.

When the door finally cracked open, Y/N peeking through, Ethan felt his heart calm down and his lips pressed together.

After the way she attacked him the last time they saw each other, Ethan didn't expect her to smile at him nor let him in so easily, however, she opened the door widely and gestured for him to come inside.

He was still angry about how she spoke to him, the crudeness of her words making his blood boil but he also missed her in the past five days she had been away and he desperately needed to see her.

"What can I do for you, boss?" She leaned against a wall, looking at him intently with a small smirk upon her lips. It fell odd having him in her private life, as if he was slowly infiltrating every part of her life, making it impossible for her to ignore how badly she wanted to rip his clothes off and ride him until they're both sweaty and tired with loopy, lazy smiles as they hold each other close even after they finish.

Blushing with her thoughts, Y/N cleared her throat as it seemed Ethan wasn't listening to her before and was too busy looking around. He wanted to see her life, the part of her he'd never know if she was just an intern.

He loves the flowery light scent of the room, even more so the colorful yellow walls and green couch. He loved the art hanging on the walls and the way her carpets were all flower themed. Her entire apartment, or at least what he saw so far, had a spring theme and Ethan felt at ease.

"I'm assuming you're here for a reason, not for decorating ideas?" She cocked an eyebrow, speaking louder this time around and it certainly got his attention even if him turning around had made her breath halt in her throat. It enraged her just how attractive he is.

'Why does he have to be so fucking sexy? Like, he’s just kinking his eyebrow and not even in the obvious, over the top way he usually does! He does it so casually, so unaware that it only makes it sexier and damn it, Ethan Grant Dolan, you are ruining men for me!'

But she doesn't say any of her thoughts out loud, only swallows thickly, reminding herself of the reasons why he's not right for her.

"I have a theory and I need your help to confirm it." Swiping his thumb under his bottom lip, Ethan stepped closer. "I had a patient a while ago with breast cancer and her heart was failing due to chemo. After two doses. So, I did some tests and found there were no signs of breast cancer." Ethan waited for her to realize where he's going with this, wanting to see how quick she is on her feet and not even a second later she stood up, no longer casually leaning on the wall.

"So they're giving chemo to earn more money to patients who don't need it? They're purposefully giving people fake cancer diagnosis? How are their stats?" She spoke quickly, passionately as if she was angry, wanting to start a war. And he liked it - the way she thinks, the way her mind works and how it perfectly matched him. What he lacked, she compensated for and what she lacked, he was more than capable to cover for her. They were, despite all odds, a very dynamic duo and Ethan would soon find out just how well they work together.

"They have a ninety percent success rate for breast cancer patients." Ethan noted and he knew she was on board by the way her fists clenched and her eyes hardened. It felt like she was fire and he would have to contain it - contain her, although he’d love to set her loose on the world and see just how extensive the ruin would be.

"Well, I assume you want me to go with you and act like I found a lump so they can misdiagnose me and order me to be on chemo? To see how it works before we burn them to the ground?" She crossed her arms, raising both eyebrows in expectation and even if he wanted to, Ethan would follow her - to the ends of the Earth if necessary.

Forelsket – the euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love

"Welcome to Smooth Cat." Ethan exclaimed as the passenger door closed and she joined him inside. She didn't quite linger on the car, barely sparing it a glance at first and he knew right away no amount of expensive shiny things will win her over. She wanted something deeper than his pockets.

"You named your car Smooth cat?" She deadpanned, her determination for this case wavering as the amusement showed in her eyes. For once, Ethan managed to make her break the cold surface with just words. Although he didn't think it was as ridiculous as her tone made it out to be.

"Don't hate the kitty when it purrs so nicely and runs so smoothly." Ethan responds, his head high and his lips pursed and so dramatically that Y/N had to crack a smile. For a moment, she mistook him for a humorous person, one that she could imagine herself laughing beside her whole damn life and that thought alone made her heart erratic and her mind chaotic.

"So, you plan on letting me come back to work a bit earlier?" She questions, figuring it's worth a shot especially when they have nothing better to talk about and the awkward silence would drive her insane otherwise. She needed the distraction and he posed as the perfect one. Just as he did that first night.

"No. Not after you went into anaphylaxis and I nearly lost you." Attempting to keep his voice calm and his head leveled, Ethan felt like his heart couldn't follow that instruction. It was more than obvious he couldn't just go back on his word. A leader is consistent and in that hospital he is meant to be a leader, not her soulmate. But his words also showed her his feelings run deeper than he shows.

"Can you honestly tell me that this is how you'd treat the others? I'm not trying to start anything but would anyone else have to do scut? Or is this about our history?" Gnawing on her bottom lip, her tongue dancing along the inside of her teeth as she waited for him to respond. She noticed his eyes turning to the screen of his car instead of the road ahead, tapping something before he turned to her entirely, his hands off the wheel and it made her eyes widen. "And can you please not get us killed?!"

"It's a Tesla. Drives itself." Ethan spoke as if that meant anything to her, as if her anxiety didn't spike at the notion of a car driving her to safety on it's own. She didn't believe that would be a safe way of traveling at all, not that Ethan seemed any better.

"And you're right. I wouldn't treat any other intern like this. In fact, if it were any other intern talking back like you did? They would be suspended." And his eyes didn't waver, looking deep into her own without blinking. Ethan meant what he said with every atom of his being and she knew it too. She knew now that she was right; he did treat her differently, she just didn't know it was for the better.

"I was angry." She quipped, swallowing her pride she saw fit to apologize even if it went against everything she wanted to do. "I'm sorry for being an ass to you...in fact, I wanted to thank you for saving my life that night."

Ethan nods, tongue swiping his bottom lip as he opens his mouth to speak. "Which night? The first one felt like I was quite heroic too." Winking, he couldn't help but notice the way she plays with her fingers, fidgeting nervously, affected by the same memories that haunt him.

"It certainly wasn't heroic but it wasn't...anything less than enjoyable either." She remarked, raising an eyebrow at his statement as if she is unbothered when in fact she is very, very bothered and horny and he could probably tell by her shy smile, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction just yet. Not until she knows where his soulmate is. Whoever it is, she needed to know if that person was in his life, to what extent and if he would be able to ignore that she has a soulmate too, wherever they may be...In a way she wondered if he was the one, but life would never serve her such luck. She's used to not getting favorable things...or men in this particular case.

"Oh, I think otherwise. I even have a certain pair of torn up lace panties and a bra to remember it by." Ethan raised his brow just the same, teasing her relentlessly, genuinely curious how red can her cheeks get. Because as much as he tried to, he couldn't forget the moans he evoked or the way her head would fall back with every dance his fingers played on her. She was and still is the muse for every dream, every fantasy and every lonely night he had to take care of himself.

"I -", Ethan leaned in, ready to hear what she has to say, thinking this might be the right time to tell her he's her forever, but Smooth Cat decided cock-blocking is acceptable and announced their arrival.

Clearing her throat, Y/N broke the eye contact, feeling the intensity of his earthly hues deep inside her heart - eyes that hooked her soul to attention only he could provide. "We should probably get in."

With a nod, Ethan opened the door and she followed his example, walking inside without turning back to look at him, determined to do this right. But for that, she had to swallow her pride once more and play the role.

Just as they enter the main hall, Y/N wrapped her arm around Ethan and his heart almost stopped with the sudden contact. She pulled him closer, glancing up at his poorly hidden shock and smiled meekly but her eyes were anything but - her eyes were hard and they were warning him to play along.

"Hi. Could you help us?" The way she asked felt so...polite? So sweet and innocent, too naively put for Ethan to ever buy the act but the sap on the other side seemed fooled.

"Of course, what can I do for you?" The guy smiles nicely, straightening his back ever so slightly to seem more confident.

"My name is Bailey Nolan and this is Grant Nolan, my husband. I, uh..I was doing a little checkup during shower and I think I felt a lump. In my breast." Shifting her voice to a smaller, fragile tone had surprised Ethan because for a moment he actually believed her too. She is all too convincing. Especially on the husband part and he can’t help but tense up when she calls him that, nor can he stop his heart from pounding uncontrollably with the notion. He imagined her calling him her soulmate and husband so many times since they first met, but to hear it felt divine. It felt better than he thought it would and he just wished she could have said it while gazing in his eyes, his arms around her as he holds her close.

Leaning in closer to the receptionist, Y/N glances left before she whispered softly: "I'm scared it might be cancer."

It didn't take long for the two to be accompanied to an examination room. With instructions to prepare for the exam, Ethan and Y/N found themselves alone for a little while.

"Expecting a free show?" Y/N narrowed her eyes at Ethan, her hands clinging to the gown left for her to change into so the examination would go quicker. She was more than willing to lose her clothes that night they met, but that was under the cloak of night and this? Being in a well-lit room with nothing to draw his attention from her body? It didn't make her as happy to strip down and flash her boobs.

"It's not like I haven't seen them before, ya know? I know exactly how they look." Ethan's cocky voice had caught her off guard just as the little step forward he made toward her. With a raised eyebrow and a vain smile Ethan tilts his head and Y/N wanted nothing more but to wipe that smirk off his face. But she couldn't. Not when his words are facts, not fiction and especially not when her body ached for his weight on top of hers.

"I kissed every inch, even the little mole nested right between -", stopping him before he finished his thought, Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, her eyes set aflame as she felt her face burning, her voice low and cold as she spoke. "I get it, but I'm asking you to stop. To not look at me now and not look at me during the ultrasound and please, for the love of God, bring me my bra back." She spoke fast and with uncertainty, mostly because she was more than lost in this new situation where she managed to not just stumble upon a one night stand but to work for him and the power balance is way off and she can’t help but feel very threatened by that.

Did she love how powerful and ambitious Ethan is? Absolutely. Did she enjoy him bossing her around? Not a chance. And she is right, the power balance in their relationship is way off, but not in the way she thinks.

She was completely unaware how whipped Ethan is for her and the way she leans a little closer to him when they talk but she doesn't do the same with anyone else. And he's absolutely crazy about the way she ties her hair in a braid so quickly while she's in the hospital, or how she seems to have fire in her soul, making her a force of nature. And yeah, she is making it hard for him not to move in and kiss her every chance he gets, but he needs to do this right. Her views on soulmates don't seem to match his and he wanted her to love him for who he is and what they've experienced together, not just a bond made by a single look as a gift from destiny. And while she changed behind the curtain, Ethan wanted her to know that too.

"I won't look. I wasn't going to. Just teasing you, darling. But the bra is mine to keep."

Necrophobia – fear of death and associated things

Before she gets a chance to retaliate, the doctor entered the room, introducing himself as Y/N laid on the table, her eyes glancing to Ethan who focused on the doctor instead of her breast as the man began a palpable examination first.

"I don't feel the lump, but I'd like to do an ultrasound too, just to be sure." Raising both eyebrows, Y/N wondered if the man had been wrongly accused by Ethan, making brief eye contact with Ethan who forgot himself and his promise for a moment in his own surprise.

"Oh." But then the doctor stopped, looking closer at the screen with his eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowed and Y/N lifts her head.

"Oh? What do you mean by oh?" She demanded, Ethan leaning toward the screen to see better himself but even he wasn't the best in reading breast ultrasounds, that was more Grayson's specialty.

"I'm sorry to say, but I believe your worries were right."

Ringing in her ears, Y/N felt like someone hit her over the head with a rock, her mind stopping as her eyes moved to the screen the man turned for them to see.

"This", the doctor pointed at the screen and Ethan leaned in closer, his heart beating out his chest as his hand blindly searched for Y/N's to hold, wanting to give her comfort as well as seek some reassurance for himself.

"This is a solid mass and while we will need to do more tests when you're ready, my experience taught me this is often a malignancy. It's where most cancers show statistically, but you're young and I feel we caught it in time. We can set up an appointment for confirmation and more imaging, but I'm confident we will win this."

And the doctor spoke, explaining things Y/N could barely hear, feeling like she's under the water, dragged back into hell she barely escaped.

Not even realizing it, she found herself back in Ethan's Smooth Cat, her hand held tightly - no longer gingerly touched, but strongly feeling Ethan's presence. She was so thankful for that. So, so thankful.

With a growing lump inside her throat, Y/N couldn't speak, panic spreading through her as she felt Ethan's other hand touch her cheek, his thumb on her chin, tilting her head toward him.

"I called Grayson and he will meet us in an examination room at the breast unit as soon as we arrive. Remember we can't take anything he says as factual before we check. Okay? You're okay, darling. It's going to be okay." And while he tried to put up a brave front, she felt the tremors in his hands and she heard him swallow tears.

Nodding, she let out a heavy sigh of relief, his words reminding her why they were at the clinic and although she saw the lump on her ultrasound clearly, she prayed she wasn't that unlucky to get cancer. Again.

Rushing to the breast unit, Grayson is already at the door, waving the two inside. Upon entering, Ethan is basically helping Y/N rip her shirt and bra off, her breasts no longer off limits as both of them are out of their minds with worry.

"Wow, Ethan, stay the fuck outside!" Grayson shouted, throwing a sheet over an exposed Y/N, horrified by his brother and his disregard for her comfort and needs.

"We're way past that!" Ethan and Y/N scream in unison as she tosses the sheet off. Breathing uneven, her cheat rising with every shallow breath she takes, Y/N turned to Ethan who was ready to scream but stayed a few feet away. But then she outstretched her arm, her hand open with the palm turned up, her fingers wiggling to invite him closer.

Slightly reluctant, Ethan took her hand in his, fingers intertwining as he rests his elbows on the gurney, his eyes looking into hers only to find fear and unshed tears that disarmed him faster than he believed possible. It's not a secret she's been ruling his heart and mind since they met...since before that, but he never realized how willing he'd be to fall victim to her, to be her captive, to stand in the eye of the storm and admire it even when it threatens to destroy him.

Two hearts beating as one, their eyes speaking volumes about what they can't say just yet, it felt like the world faded and no one but them remained.

But the magic had been broken once Y/N felt the coldness of the gel on her breast, her hand tightened around his and her eyes closed shut. She couldn't handle seeing it again: her dreams all die and her journey to return to start - alone again, rotting in a clinic with nothing to hope for. She found medicine the first time, her graduation and desire to travel the world the second time, but third time? What will she have to look forward to? Eminent death and impending doom of finding a soulmate she never even knew about? Or Ethan?

But he has his soulmate, she reminds herself. He probably has someone waiting for him to come home, a beautiful woman, maybe a couple of kids? Who knows? He wouldn't be her saving grace this time around.

"Good news. The guy's a fraud. This ultrasound is clear. There's nothing malignant here." Grayson's smile is quick to spread, to lighten the somber atmosphere and while he probably should have stopped there, it wouldn't really be Grayson if he did, especially when Ethan and Y/N remained silent, processing the news a bit too long for Grayson's liking.

"Yeah, in fact, this is beautiful breast. It's truly phenomenal, like exquisite -", and that's when Ethan and Y/N finally tuned in, the looks on their faces saying just how far he went. Ethan covered her breasts so fast, pulling his body halfway over hers to protect her from view, his glare burning holes into his brother who raised his arms in mock surrender, defending his honor and quite frankly his life.

"I was just going to say it's like a perfect anatomy, nothing sexual."

"Bro, just go. Leave while you're still ahead." Ethan practically growled through gritted teeth and Grayson didn't plan on sticking around for those teeth to grab a hold of his throat. Because Ethan reminded him of a lion, king of the jungle and he looked ready to kill to protect his lioness.

Selenophile – a person who loves the moon

Scratching the back of his head, Ethan stepped away, releasing her hand reluctantly with a sigh. He wanted to keep this moment going, to have her so close and while he hated himself for it, he liked being needed that day. Every look she gave him, every touch no matter how small, it made him feel wanted like never before and for the first time in forever he just wanted to stay in the moment with her.

"Are you okay?" Ethan's voice is rough, his throat scratchy and his heart slowly calming down. Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze, allowing her to sit up and get dressed without having her yell at him for peeping.

"I...I guess. What are we going to do about this guy?" She changed the topic deliberately, scared she might say too much because this fright had brought her back to all those times she was stuck in the hospital, alone and terrified of what might become of her. It reminded her of the friends she saw die and of the days she thought she would too.

"Grayson? He didn't mean anything by that, he just word vomits whenever he's nervous and it got fairly awkward really fast." Ethan chuckled, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth, dragging them across the soft flesh before releasing it a shade darker.

"No. Not Grayson. I mean that quack of a doctor who told me I have cancer!" She raised her voice inadvertently, hoping Ethan wouldn't notice the raw emotion behind it nor the loss of common sense that washed over her.

"I have a solid amount of paperwork proving his scams. I just wanted to know for sure today. Grayson is already dealing with it. As you can tell, my brother is a boobie lover and he won't let this man get away for all the boob owners that were tricked into this." Ethan watched her back move with her shallow breaths, her inability to turn around and look him in the eye raising his anxiety levels with each passing second.

"You don't fuck with people like that. You just don't." She mutters quietly, her voice just above a whisper and Ethan can feel his heart break and he doesn't even know why.

Wrapping her arms around herself, Y/N stood up, meek and shaken and so clearly in need of distance because if she stays even just for a minute, Ethan will know one of the worst things she had to endure and she couldn't do that. She couldn't let him in. Not when he can't stay. So she did what she does best. She bolted out the room, ignoring Ethan's pleas for her to stop and talk to him.

She went to where she was the first time she met Ethan. She went to where her life was supposed to start and it did...In a way, that day was the best day of her life - she was free of the curse her body was under and she met Ethan.

So yes, she ended up in the Oncology ward, gowning up before entering the room where comatose patients struggled to survive. As weird as it is, it had always been her favorite and least favorite place to hide from the world, a place she could find peace and serenity but also reconcile her life might end in one of those rooms as well, so she always sat there and just reminded herself to breathe as long as she could, as fiercely as she could.

She sat by one of the patients, looking sadly down at their broken, beaten bodies and how it betrayed them in the worst possible way. As usual, most patients are older or have their grey hair as proof they found their soulmate, but then again, she saw two kids there too.

She was once a kid on these ventilators too. Her friends were on them too. Not all of them made it out.

Comas aren't romantic at all like in the movies, she knew it better than anyone. The person in that bed isn't flawlessly combed nor do they have make up to cover their flaws. They aren't comfortable nor is their spirit waiting by the bed as their loved ones come and go, confessing how much they love the unlucky bastard for years to come. No...coma is what takes the basic human pride and decency. It strips you of all that makes you human. Some survive and recover, going home with amnesia for the time they spent in their state, some don't survive it at all...but there is a third option for those who survive, but they aren't exactly alive. For them, coma means tubes being stuck into their nose for feeding, into their mouth for breathing, into their urethra for peeing and a diaper for shitting. It means eyes covered with gauze to help keep their eyes moist, their throat cut open to move the breathing tube if that state continues; wires, needles, medical students practicing on them because they aren't supposed to feel the pain. It means pressure ulcers that turn into huge gaping wounds because the nurses are understaffed, overworked and underpaid and can't possibly move every patient in time to prevent complications. And the worst part is that the longer they are comatose, less people come to see them. They're alone, abandoned in a room without any chance of recovery, robbed of their right of moving on, truly being liberated. They would welcome death doctors are forced to keep away.

And she had witnessed it happen far too often. She had seen many comatose patients in her time during her stays in the hospital because of her cancer. Some of them she'd visit at night because she felt bad for them, others were her cancer buddies who were losing the battle. Either way, there wasn't anything to romanticize. Coma isn't a pretty state, it's her worst nightmare.

"You're not okay."

Startled, Y/N looks back at the door, aware who it is before she sees the person the voice belongs to. And there he is, the man she wants to know more than anything but can't allow herself to care. If they were meant to be, if he is her soulmate, he'd tell her by now. Right?

"You're always running after me." She smiles weakly, the sadness in her eyes tearing into Ethan who, even now, saw her as the most beautiful creature to walk the Earth. In his hundred plus years, Ethan never saw a human as flawlessly beautiful as her.

"Someone's got to." With a slight shrug, Ethan sat on a chair beside her, his eyes fixed on her with a softness behind his hazel hues she rarely saw in anyone. He cares. She could see that now and no amount of fear that evoked would make her walk away. She wanted to stay. She wanted him to look at her as softly as he does now for the rest of her life.

Y/N no longer cared about whoever her soulmate is because she couldn't imagine caring about someone as much as she does for Grant, not ever.

"When I was nine I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer with metastasis in surrounding lymph nodes. After surgery and chemotherapy they said I'd be fine. They said it would be like nothing ever happened. But it wasn't fine." Swallowing a growing lump in her throat, Y/N glanced at Ethan who looked distressed by her story, like his heart had fallen through the cracks and shattered on the ground. But it was too late and she could tell he was staring at her throat for signs of surgical scarring and she felt self-conscious just like she did when they first cut her open.

"I learned to hide the scar with either scarfs or make up. And I thought I could move on and be happy but I was fifteen when I was rushed into the emergency room because I collapsed in school. Turns out the metastasis were in my lungs and while they were unsure if it was truly related to the first cancer diagnosis or if it was a new sort, one thing was sure...I needed more chemotherapy...more pain, more hospitals, more lonely days and nights and I had no one. My parents were always too involved with each other and their jobs than me. I was alone. And scared. Studying medicine saved me." She sighed, looking over the patients.

"The chemotherapy ruined my bone marrow, a little something I found out in my last year of med school after which I had to wait almost a year while I got a transplant and my immune system normalized. It was the only good thing my dad ever did for me." She shrugged, daring to look back at Ethan who looked so frustrated with what she went through, horrified by the thought of her being alone all those years when the worst has happened to her. And he hated he wasn't there for her.

"The night we met? At the bar? I was here for a final checkup because my doctor moved. I got the all clear and I was depressed I had no one to celebrate the official news of my remission and my life getting back on track." She admitted sheepishly.

"But as great as it was, we can't go back to that. You are my boss and I'm your intern and while it's going to be hard, we have to let it go. So, can I please just get back to work?"

Shaking his head, Ethan chuckled in disbelief.

"You're with Grayson next week and every free moment you have you will deal with my paperwork. That's all I can give you. But you can't seriously expect me to forget that night. Or any of it since." His demeanor changed and the softest he had about him had disappeared.

"I appreciate you telling me all this and I wish I could have been there for you, I do! But I am here now and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon. I care for you. But you drive me so mad sometimes." Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ethan tried to calm down and actually be supportive because it was hard for her to open up to him like she did and he wanted to be understanding but every move forward ends up being two steps back with her and Ethan was stressed and tired and he needed her to realize she was stuck with him.

“You’re like a book! A big, strange book I barely understand.” He was slowly losing patience, she could tell. And a part of her hoped he’d let her go and give up. A part of her prayed for it to happen. But another part, one hidden deep inside, that part wanted Ethan more than the oxygen she needed to breathe. He was her oxygen, the air her soul needed. And he wasn't letting up, despite it all.

“Learn me slowly then. Please? Just be patient with my pages.”

And in that moment, they shared a silent agreement. In her darkness, he saw her light shine through. He is a selenophile and she his moon.

In that moment, Ethan saw fit to lean closer, his eyes glancing at her supple lips before focusing on her eyes again. He wanted to make sure she wanted it to happen as much as he did, even if it was completely inappropriate from the place it was happening down to their work relationship. It was all kinds of wrong, yet it felt right. It felt so, so right.

She didn't move away, she didn't make a sound. All she did was close her eyes and part her lips and in that fraction of a second, she allowed herself to get lost in the beauty of a lover's touch for when Ethan's lips brushed hers, nothing mattered anymore.

Just before letting go and surrendering himself to this gentle surprise, Ethan looked at his soulmate with a new hope in mind and a promise he would never let her demons drown her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tags: @beinscorpio @peacedolantwins @heyits-claire @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @ethanhes @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12 @fxkthatdairy @zeusgrayson @libradolan @justordinaryjen @pineappledolan @graysavant @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan @shadowsndaisies @maybgrayson

#ethan dolan #grayson dolan #dolan twins #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan soulmate au #ethan dolan series #ethan dolan doctor soulmate au #ethan dolan doctor au #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan au #ethan dolan x you

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malyen0retsev · 4 years

Note

do you not like the shadowhunters tv show? personally i'm kinda meh on it, like the plot was wack and i did not like most of it but i do feel like they did some things and characters better then the books did, for example i loved how show isabelle was immediately ride or die for clary instead of the unnecessary girl hate of the first few tmi books

I despised the TV show, I’m sorry! I liked the casting of Izzy and Alec particularly because I felt they weren’t on point in the film (Simon and Magnus were perfect in both adaptations imo); but it reached a point where even they couldn’t save it for me. I genuinely didn’t mind some of the episodes but as a whole god no

Thing is, Clary and Jace as characters have the potential to be incredibly irritating, and there are times in the books I would really like to slam their heads on a desk; but Jamie Campbell Bower and Lily Collins really really got their characters. To the point I didn’t find them irritating. At all. Unfortunately for me, Kat Macnamara particularly I found emphasised the annoying parts of Clary, and Dom Sherwood didn’t balance out Jace’s brooding with sarcasm. They were both just so serious all the time aksjfdbhaljk

I get what you mean with Izzy being ride or die, but the thing is, what people like to forget is Izzy and Clary eventually are ride or die for each other. They adore each other by the end of the series. And in some ways I find that refreshing. It’s like hey, you can irrationally dislike someone at first and grow from it and develop a really really good friendship eventually. Plus, neither of them have grown up around girls, so not knowing how to act around another teenage girl is understandable (and in Izzy’s case, she’s seeing Jace put himself in obscene levels of danger for this girl they’ve just met, I don’t think her dislike of Clary in the books at first is irrational).

I just don’t feel they encapsulated the characters or plot at all. Why is Luke a policeman. Why did they kill Jocelyn. What the hell was the Sebastian plot at first. Why did they make Izzy an addict (and reduce her to somewhat of a sex symbol in S1). Why did Simon and Clary sleep together when in the books that relationship was over so so quickly. Why was the New York Institute bustling with people when the whole point is the Lightwoods run it as essentially a form of exile. Why were runes appearing left right centre as handy plot devices that made no sense. Why did Jace become this brooding angry guy when book!Jace is sarcastic to veil a deep sense of insecurity that he hides with idiocy.

I’ll forever be aggressively annoyed at the show because it made the same mistake the film made (only far far worse) of deciding it knew what sort of plot the story should be better than the books - whilst forgetting that the book plot is what makes the fans love it in the first place. So naturally, it bombed. And because that bombed, I don’t see any future Shadowhunter adaptations of any kind forthcoming, and that makes me so sad although it means I won’t have to see my TID and TDA babies mauled in an adaptation so small victories I guess

#asks #the shadowhunter chronicles #anti shadowhunters #JUST MY TWO CENTS SQUAD

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hanksthompson · 4 years

Text

Literally no one has to read this, it’s just an Eddie freeform so I could get a handle of his thought process, while also being a tl;dr of his events in the second movie;;;;;

It’s like....over 1,000 words, don’t @ me

You aren’t sure how long you had the label. A loser. You suspect it happened back when your dad passed away, around the same time your mom had grown more protective. You think it was around that time that kids started treating you differently, solely because you had grown different as a result of her behavior. Not that you recognized that detail for what it was at the time. You were maybe 5 when it happened? What kid would recognize their own parents' abusive tendencies at an age like that…

Or maybe you’re wrong on that front. Maybe you adopted the title the minute you became friends with Bill Denbrough. And, as a later result, Richie Tozier and Stan Uris. It was only the four of you, a small group of “losers”, but...you’d be wrong if you thought it didn’t give you some level of comfort. After all, they were the first people after your dad to treat you as normal as kids your age could. A group that let you be a kid, and run as much as you always wanted to, but never could because of the persistent fear of something fatal happening to you. Because of the ever-present, nagging voice of your mom that never seemed to leave your conscience. Every little thing you wanted to do would result in being internally scolded by her, it’s easier to just listen and follow her rules.

ℛ+ℰ

Summer of 1989 was...a long one, you remember that. A long, complicated time. One that completely defied your expectations. But then again, what were you supposed to expect? Just the same as every summer, maybe. Though it’d be stupid to expect that, as well. That year was, ultimately, different from any others, ever since the beginning. Really ever since Georgie went missing died. You remember that revelation pretty clearly, unfortunately…

Trying to find Bill’s brother should’ve been obvious from the get-go, but even knowing that, you wouldn’t have expected getting wrapped up in IT’s business. That you happened to occupy one of the years that It awoke. Every 27 years, supposedly, and you happened to get caught up in it. How bullshit is that? But if it weren’t for those events...you aren’t sure how likely it would’ve been that you met the rest of your friends. Ben, Beverly, and Mike. It always felt like there was an outside force to the group getting drawn together, but that was easy to dismiss as a teenager. You just know that, outside of the shitty adults, Bowers and his gang, and the journey you went on for Bill’s sake, you had fun with those 6. You always had fun with Richie them.

It’s hard to explain why everything started to blur together when that year started coming to a close. When it got closer to your own birthday. Do you even remember how that went? Who forgets their own birthday...

ℛ+ℰ

Myra Kaspbrak...the name is one that you’re all too familiar with, but one that you aren’t sure if you’re comforted by or not. You recognize the fact you should be, granted it was your decision to marry her in the first place. Though you’re left wondering if those particular events in your life would’ve played out the same way if, for example, you had any other type of job. You were only familiar with her because she was a co-worker, after all.

Outside of that, however, sometimes you question the basis of that relationship. She was some sense of familiarity to you, of course, you knew that well enough. But it felt like that was the only thing for you to go off of in the marriage. More often than not, she felt like a source of stress to you. But you’re certain that you love her. You always felt more certain of that whenever you had to leave her. Especially when it was time to leave for Derry.

You wonder if you should feel guilty. For only thinking about her when the topic of marriage came up during the reunion. When in the company of old friends-- friends you had forgotten about, for crying out loud --after 27 years without being around them. It seems natural, right? It’s natural to focus on them. It’s natural to focus on Richie catch up with them, first and foremost. That’s just how you were. You would put the spotlight on them before yourself unless pushed to do otherwise. That was never a fact you questioned, but just accepted for what it was.

Being with them felt...right, in a way. Like this was how it was supposed to be. Always. Even if the memories of your childhood are slowly coming back, you can’t help but wonder why everyone started to drift apart. You vaguely remember someone moving? You aren’t too sure about that. Someone that was important, but one you ultimately didn’t talk with as much as you should’ve as kids. You remember a faint smell of smoke too. Maybe that was just the restaurant, though.

ℛ+ℰ

The realization that you were lied to, maybe even tricked, just to return to Derry hit hard. But not because you didn’t want to be here, of course. This place was, oddly enough, still home to you. And you loved your friends. You were acutely aware of that. The root of your anxiety was backed up by Mike’s reasoning for wanting everyone back in Derry. You didn’t have time to prepare, now knowing that 27 years passed, because you forgot. You forgot damn near everything about that summer, especially everything revolving around IT. You didn’t have time to even brace yourself, let alone feel ready to tackle something like this again. It made you feel sick. A deep feeling you’ve almost forgotten about.

And ultimately, not one you’re ready to fully face again when you’re instructed to split up. To explore your old home by yourself. The mere suggestion of it honestly sounded like the most ridiculous thing to you. And yet...you and the others followed through. And you let your feet carry you to one of the places you were most familiar with, growing up: the Pharmacy. It was honestly a bit surprising to see that not much had changed. Not just in terms of the layout, but that Mr. Keene and Greta had still been working there. They still looked the same, uncomfortably so.

And, on another uncomfortable note, the basement still looked the same as well. Every detail, right down to the damn curtain hung up. You never understood that, even as a teenager. What you didn’t expect was to have a similar experience down here, to the one you had when you were younger. When you couldn’t save your mom saw It again. You remember that encounter. You remember all of those encounters, and how sick you felt after. You always dismissed it as just being grossed out from the leper, but a part of you knew there was more to it than that.

Sure, the sight of a disease-infested man was enough to make your skin crawl at the time, but it was nothing compared to the own rotting you felt inside of you. A feeling that was not only prominent whenever you saw the leper, but even more so when you passed by the town’s church. A sense of sickness, rotting, and shame. You always felt dirty. A part of you knew why, while the other part was in denial.

In denial that it happened especially around Richie. That some part of you was doing something wrong whenever you would enjoy his company, despite your own protests. A part of you knew you wouldn’t be clean until you stopped wanting him could put all these thoughts behind. You’ll just bottle it up, just like you always do.

ℛ+ℰ

You aren’t sure, at what point in your life, you became this much of a coward. With what you remember of your childhood, you weren’t always that way, at least you’re certain of that much. You remember being able to fight back for yourself, and you remember getting irrationally angry when Richie got hit first in the rock war something happened to any of your friends. You recognize the fact that you’ve always been the youngest, and yet, that never stopped you from trying to protect them to the best of your ability. You vaguely remember the idea that you’d be ready to die for any of them, the minute they asked it from you.

So what happened now? It couldn’t be old age. You could still handle yourself when Bowers had paid an unexpected visit and stabbed you in the face. You were able to handle that much. You managed to at least stab him back, at the very least. You could still defend yourself without much hesitation. So why was it different in Neibolt…

You were scared, you knew that much, but...you’ve always been good at helping your friends when they needed it. Maybe it was the shock from seeing Stan’s head attacking the group. It was obvious this was done by It, of course, but it wasn’t any less jarring to see your old friend’s head roll out from the fridge. ...But was that an excuse? You froze up. You couldn’t do something, anything, when someone you love care about was getting attacked. You didn’t want the others to be mad, but...you understood why they would be. You knew you were useless in that situation.

ℛ+ℰ

The thought you had as a kid, about being willing to die for your friends, was maybe a dumb thought for you at the time. You were only 13, the idea of what that entailed was almost completely lost to you at the time. But it’s that same thought that seems especially prominent in your second fight with It. More so when Richie is caught in the deadlights. It’s one of the few things you focus on at that moment, the other being that you wanted Richie to be safe, first and foremost.

That’s what mattered at that moment.

And you remember feeling a sense of pride in yourself, thinking that you actually did kill It. That this time, you actually saved Richie. Enough pride to distract you from what was happening behind you. But you were oblivious to that, weren’t you? Your own pride blinded you when it was important.

#it chapter 2 #eddie kaspbrak #reddie #because it's gay as shit tbh #don't read too much into this it's just a freeform i wrote for him for rp purposes #don't @ me for my take i'll either get incredibly salty or incredibly sad

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xjamlessparkx · 5 years

Text

divorce | myg | 13

summary: in which you have to go through a painful process of your own family shattering

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“What are you doing?” You heard you mom approaching you. She put the glass of coffee next to the laptop on the table while she bends down slightly. You were scrolling through the page as you felt her narrowing her eyes next to your face.

“What does that mean?” She asked, pointing at the screen. You stopped and turned your head to her.

“I think it’s the best if I and the children move out and start newly.” You clarified and put on a weak smile.

It’s been already a week since the last time you saw Yoongi and had the serious conversation with him. After that, you deeply rethought about your life decisions and the way you acted through this whole process. Sometimes you could really act like a freaking idiot but other times it was him being the douchebag.

You searched for a new job, this time everywhere since you considered about moving your house. You didn’t want to get reminded about Yoongi anymore. First, the house and then a good job if possible. You looked for apartments with a low rent monthly which was pretty hard to doubt you still kept searching every day and every night.

“You will move out?” She asked calmly, pointing at the monitor. You nodded as she turned her face to you again.

Suddenly, she hit the table with her palm, making you wince in your place as some of the liquid dropped out of the glass.

“Are out of your mind? You start talking nonsense. You, you don’t even have a proper job and you start searching for a new home?! Who will pay the rent? The electricity? Your children have their needs and so do you! You can’t get your life together if you think that way!” she yelled, furrowing her eyebrow. You cleared your throat and stepped back.

“Mom… it’s not that I haven’t thought about all of this-” she cut you off, fidgeting with her fingers in front of your face.

“Cleary, you’re using your mind irrationally. Stop that nonsense now and come back to your senses!” She took a deep breath and shut her eyes, massaging her temple. You stood up and examined her face, trying to distinguish her expressions.

“Mom” you heard a thin and feminine voice calling out for you. You turned around to face your little daughter, “are we really moving?” she asked out of blue.

Your eyes widened as you gave your mother a narrowing gaze. If she hadn’t yell then your daughter wouldn’t hear the two of you. You shook your head as you went up to her, “No, no, no- we aren’t” you kneeled down on her level and cupped her cheeks, “Well, not now. Mommy is just looking for a better home for us-” Ahran furrowed her eyebrows and pouted slightly.

“No mom, I don’t wanna move out of here. This is our home.” You licked your lips as you sighed and slid your hair behind your ear.

“Look sweety, this will be much better for all of us-”

“No! If we move out, we won’t be able to see dad frequently anymore…” she pouted and you sighed again.

“Look, I haven’t even found a new home and for now-” you were cut off by the doorbell ringing non-stop and someone hitting the door loudly. Your eyes widened as you turned around to your mother. “Mom, take the kids,”, taking Ahran’s hands in yours your guided her to your mother and she stood up, leaving you to go and get Junsun. The rude person behind the door didn’t stop to bang on the door.

As soon as you opened the door you were met by two pairs of eyes, looking furiously at yours. Yuna. As if the problems who had to deal with weren’t enough, you just had to endure her. It was a nice and chill Sunday until she had to butt in.

“Where is Yoongi?” Just as she wanted to come in your put your arms on the doorframe, preventing her from coming in.

“Who are you to disturb my peace? Plus trying to enter my home without my permission-” You had your hands firmly on the frames as you narrowed your eyes and stared into her eyes which were really red and puffy as if she cried.

“I know that he is in here! Let me in!” She suddenly started yelling and tried to push past you while you stopped her, closing the door shut. She started hitting the door even louder which made you sigh deeply and extremely annoyed with her.

Your hand reached the doorknob and you pulled it forcefully, making her stumble forward. She cleared her throat.

“Listen Yuna,” you started, crossing your arms over your chest as you started into her eyes, “Min Yoongi isn’t here and if you don’t stop bothering me I will surely think about calling the cops for disturbing my peace in my home!” You snapped, making her wince in shock.

“Don’t act innocent Y/N! You know the reason of my presence-” you cut her off, clearly annoyed about her voice and the way she assumed that her way of thinking was right.

“I have no idea why you’re in front of me. Clearly, you’re not leaving, right? Okay, I‘m sorry, but I have to call the cops-” just as you reached out for your phone, she took it away and hid it behind her back.

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything because hell you know what’s going on right now. Because of you, Yoongi broke up with me!” She yelled, taking a deep breath afterward. You furrowed your eyebrows, not sure how to react in this situation. Your feelings were mixed and you couldn’t tell them apart, unsure if they were expressing euphoria or just confusion.

“What?” Perfect! That was literally all you could think of? Just answering in a confused way.

She let out a fake chuckle as she pulled out her hand, handing you your phone back.

“I won’t let you take over us! Believe me. I won’t let you have Yoongi because-”

“I don’t care.”

Indeed, she was surprised about you not talking back. You let your mouth say the words which your mind repeated over and over again. Sometimes it’s getting more real and one is accepting it when it’s said out loud. You didn’t want to fight anymore because you weren’t sure if it is worth, consuming your energy for his unfaithful love.

“Now please leave-” again you wanted to close the door, but she held her arm in front of you, stopping you.

“Yoongi can’t get back to you….” she shook her head, her eyes getting teary as you furrowed your eyebrows. At that moment the postman came up to you, handing you a letter. You rolled your eyes and ignored her presence while opening the letter. She was still mumbling words and you just hoped for her to realize that you gave her an answer already. Your furrowed eyebrows relaxed as your eyes were reading the words, written on the letter.

It was your official date in court for the process of the divorce.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you shut your eyes.

“Here!” You yelled, turning the paper and showing in front of her face. “It’s our official lawsuit. One week. Only one week until we are done, you understood?!” you gritted your teeth, surprised about the sudden anger and the penetrating voice of yours. “Now leave my freaking house!” Without saying anything further, you pushed her and shut the door close. Throwing the papers on the small commode, you stomped off into your room and slammed the door shut. You were angry but you didn’t know why.

With your hands you went through your face and hair, going from one corner to the other. Slowly, you started biting your nails and you really didn’t know why. You couldn’t figure out why you were in the state of hysteria. It was cruel and kind of humiliating how your heart got ripped off and was cut into pieces. Your heart was full but your mind was empty. It was strange and yet so hurtful. You sat down on the edge of your bed and looked up, your gaze meeting the pictures, which were hanging on the wall in front of you. You chuckled about your stupidity, for not hanging them down. In that time, you couldn’t raise your hand and put them down. It was just wrong.

It felt like your mind woke up as it was sending an impulse to your feet, dragging you to stand up and walk to the pictures where the beautiful memories were plastered on. You smiled to yourself as you were looking at one and each of them. Hesitantly, you reached out for the pictures. Your hands slowly and gently caressing them with your hands. When the realization hit you, you grabbed them and threw them on the ground, causing a loud mess.

Suddenly, the door opened. Your mother ran up to you.

“Y/N!” She had a worry written all over her face. Her arms wrapped around your body and pulled you tighter to herself.

You were in the state of crying but no tear left your eyes. Your body, heart, and soul felt that it was the last step before releasing your new life after the lawsuit. It was so complicated and you didn’t know how to react because of the different feelings your whole body expressed.

Indeed, your mother was worried and wanted to give you a helping hand. At some point, she thought that her help wouldn’t be enough. You have to go through professional therapy for recovering but her saying that would make you even angrier. Of course, you wouldn’t agree. You weren’t insane, just a mother who is going through difficult times. Surely, you hoped for recovering and you were sure to be a new person as soon as you start changing and decorating your own life differently.

You stood up and took the pictures, throwing them all into the trashcan in your room. Meanwhile, your mother followed your actions and watched you pitiful and sad for not being able to help you properly.

“Mom… I’m ok!” You said, leaving the room and going up to the laptop. You were going through the same websites all over again, trying to find a good job and a new home with a payable rent.

It was already getting darker and you were still sitting in front of your screen, writing many online applications and calling some estate agents for a new home. Luckily, you made some appointments for good apartments which you will be looking at this whole week. They weren’t too small and in a bad area, you hoped for good news.

“Y/N, wake up…” a warm hand touched your shoulder and shook you awake, slowly and gently.

You lifted your head from the hard ground which obviously was your table. Going through your hair, you tried to familiarize yourself with your surroundings.

“Mom? What time is it?” you mumbled, your voice coming out low and raspy.

“You were in front of the screen the whole night. I made sure that Junsun and Ahran get their bus. You should wake up now…” She smiled weakly at you as she put her hand on your shoulder. “How about you take a nice shower while I clean the house? Let’s go out together, get some fresh air, gossip around and get different thoughts, huh?”

You smiled at your mother’s suggestion and nodded slowly. But how could you know that going out would make you feel even more miserable?

#min yoongi angst #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bangtan angst #bts angst scenarios #bts angst series #min yoongi angst scenarios #min yoongi angst series #min yoongi x you #bts x you #bts x reader #bangtan angst scenarios #bangtan series

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