#or that delilah could come back and ruin it all again just like with the gnarlrock | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xxwillowpotatox · 5 months

Note

They had their own space, Fearne had insisted on it when they were all settling in for the night. Curtained off and blanketed with magic, Laudna felt herself relax a timy bit more as each second passed.

No longer in Whitestone, no longer in the forest or in the tunnels, no longer standing there and watching as Ashton fell to pieces and reformed as a whole.

No longer running, hiding, wishing.

The feywild felt comfortable now, as strange as it could be, and even more so came the comfort of the person there with her.

Imogen had been a bit quiet with her, though she kept fairly close and hugged her or held her hand whenever she could, and it was a bit unsettling. Even so, just having her close enough to hear her breathing and feel her warmth did more to soothe Laudna than anything else.

It didn't stop the anxiety, though, didn't stop the roiling upset in her gut at the possibility of her being upset.

'Of course she's upset. You ran away like a frightened rabbit and then fled once more when you were nearly in her grasp.' A voice so like Delilah's echoed in her mind but it was warped, a facade of herself molded to fit the image. 'You also didn't make her a gift. Ashton got it all, your rage and fear, but also enough affection for a doll to be made. What about her?'

No, no, that was all wrong, all upside down. Imogen was important, Imogen was her heart, the pain of love was harsh but the warmth she provided soothed any ache.

"Imogen." Her name warbled out without thought, cautious and trembling. The moment it did, Imogen's head shot up from where she'd been focused on looking for something in her bag, brow creased with concern.

"You alright, Laudna?" As she asked, one hand reached out to cup Laudna's cheek, thumb brushing gently across her skin. She sank into the touch, turning so insistently towards her that she thought she might fall from where she sat on the bed. "Do you feel any better out here?"

"Hmm yes, I think I do." It wasn't a lie, not really, but she still felt fractured, fragile. Still that wasn't what she'd spoken for, so she shook her head, pulling away from the hand and ignoring the way her neck twitched. "Are you.. angry? I didn't mean to run, well I did but not from you, not really, I did but I didn't. I couldn't hurt you, never, but she.. I would have killed them and I don't know what.."

The statement ended in a whimper, mind warping and pulling back in the same moment her body did, curling into a ball as she closed her eyes.

"Laud, hey, darlin', I'm not mad at you, I promise." A promise made, not to be broken. Right? No, yes, she trusted Imogen. Her head twitched to the side, feeling warmth against her cheeks as hands cradled it. "I was worried, and scared, but not angry."

"I scared you?" Laudna's voice was so small, wobbling and cracking and making her feel as if she was just crawling out of the ruins of her old life again, like the scar on her neck still burned with each unnecessary breath.

"No! No, sweetheart, no, you don't scare me, I'll never be scared of you." The bed dipped as Imogen kneeled next to her, and Laudna immediately pitched to the side, shivering as arms wrapped tightly around her. A kiss pressed to her forehead and something slid home in her heart. "I was so scared you were gone, that I'd lost you or that you'd been hurt or.."

Taken over, dead, any number of things could have ended that statement but Imogen let it die on her tongue with a shiver.

"I'm sorry I didn't make you a doll. I thought... she said he was a child, I like children and dolls... they should have one, so I don't hurt them."

"It’s okay, Laud, I get it. Besides, you could make me a doll any time. I'm not goin anywhere." Another kiss, this one to the top of her head. "Come on, lets get comfortable, yea? I think we both could use some rest."

"But we just got here, the others... we should be out there too."

"Later. They can wait a bit, I don't care about anythin other than you right now." The truth in Imogen's statement was reflected in her eyes, solid and serious and caring. "Will you lay down with me? Is that alright?"

Oh it was her choice, always hers. No forced pushing her, no nudges or insistance or orders. Just Imogen, waiting and watching with an openness that said she would do whatever Laudna wanted, whatever she needed.

A part of her still wanted to kill him, to latch on and consume their life essence until they crumbled into dust. The larger part, the one that clung to Imogen and nodded, knew that what she truly needed was the opposite of violence and death.

So they lay, reclining onto the bed with Imogen pulling her close. It wasn’t enough, never enough, so Laudna crawled a little closer, curling up into a ball on top of her girlfriend with her head tucked up against her chest. A little huffed gasp left Imogen as she settled, surprised hands moving to catch her, always to catch her, so she could hold her without moving her too much.

A hand rubbed at her back as another kiss pressed to her head, the world condensing down into that moment, that spot, and maybe Laudna knew why love was so worth it again.

Literally love this so much omg.

It’s crazy how intense Imogen and Laudna’s relationship can be and yet it’s still extremely soft and light and warm despite Delilah and all the moon shit happening.

They are just two fucked up bitches who have both been emotionally manipulated by weird people in their heads (Delilah + Otohan and Lilliana and also kinda ludinus?) but they still have fallen in love and have one of the deepest connections I’ve seen in a while.

Of course laudna felt extremely betrayed by Ashton, all her life she’s had a voice in her head telling her to trust no one, and convincing her that everyone was going to betray her eventually so why talk to them in the first place. She put her trust in this group, finally realizing maybe not everyone would betray her. And yet he did. He betrayed the group. He betrayed her. He betrayed Fearne. And that hurts.

And of course she was worried that Imogen was mad. She ran off in the woods, she spent a whole night with Delilah.

But Imogen is soft with Laudna, she understands the thoughts in laudnas brain. She has such a deep connection with her in that they actively were listening to eachothers thoughts and speaking in eachothers minds all the time. So she understands how Laudna feels. And also when she immediately noticed Laudna was off (probably because she had been talking to Delilah a LOT-I noticed the small change in Laudna as well) just further proves how well Imogen knows her.

They are anchors for eachother, tethers to make sure neither of them float too far away, and their love is so beautifully constructed by all of the threads that intertwine their lives. AUGH I love them so much

#imogen temult #laudna #imodna #critical role #critical role campaign 3 #cr3 #cr Spoilers #Marisha ray #Laura Bailey #Imogen x laudna #Fearne Calloway #cr #bells hells #critical role spoilers #delilah briarwood #ashton greymoore

79 notes · View notes

laudsimogen · 2 years

Note

for the imodna prompts could I get some post-resurrection discussions? Maybe some hurt/comfort?

“Laudna?”

The door to the lavish castle guest room was cracked open, but Imogen still knocked and peeked inside rather than welcoming herself in.

It was strange. The rooms they shared had always been their rooms, no need for privacy. Knocking made Imogen feel like a stranger, not like someone who deeply loved the woman inside. But if Laudna wanted some privacy, she deserved it.

Laudna sat at the seat of the room’s large bay window, and she glanced at Imogen and murmured a quiet “come in” before quickly turning to look outside again. Imogen could see her reflection in the glass, though, and that was strange too. Not a bad strange, just…a different strange. Laudna looked different, all tan skin with a healthy glow, an unfamiliar pink to her cheeks and her lips, but it was still her. It was perhaps more her than she had been for the last thirty years. It was just something Imogen wasn’t used to seeing.

“Hey, Laud,” Imogen said. “They got dinner downstairs if you’re hungry.”

“I’m not.”

“That’s all right.” Imogen paused awkwardly. “Do you…do you want some more alone time? Or…I mean, if you want to talk about it…you know, I’m here. How are you feeling?”

Laudna sighed. “I don’t know,” she said. “I feel…I don’t know. Strange.”

“I can’t imagine.”

“Would you sit with me?”

Imogen closed the door behind her. “Of course,” she said, and she sat down next to Laudna. The window overlooked the castle courtyard and beyond into the town, where the branches of the Sun Tree could be seen. Laudna’s eyes were locked onto it.

“I didn’t think I’d ever be here again,” Laudna said. “And certainly not…like this.” She gestured vaguely down at herself. “And this castle especially. I’m getting a strong sense of déja vu.”

“I’m sorry,” Imogen said. “We shoulda found some other place to stay. We can still go and find an inn if that’ll help.”

Laudna chuckled, but the underlying tone of sadness and discomfort that had been present in her voice since the resurrection still colored it. “And give up this gorgeous bed?” she said. “No, I’ll be all right. I know now’s not then. Mostly because you’re here. And the others. I didn’t have anyone looking out for me last time.”

Imogen took Laudna’s hand out of habit and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We won’t let anything else happen to you. I won’t. Not if I can help it.”

“I know.” Laudna looked down at their hands, hers now just as saturated and warm as Imogen’s. She was silent for a moment, then murmured, “What if I’m different now?”

Imogen frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Alive,” Laudna said. “Really alive, and without…her.” She swallowed hard. “What if I’m too different now? Would you even recognize me if you didn’t know this was me? What if the parts of me everyone likes were actually her all along?” Laudna’s hand trembled slightly in Imogen’s. “I don’t even know who I am.”

“Oh, Laudna…” Imogen brushed the stray hair out of Laudna’s face—it must have always fallen into her eyes, she realized—and gently guided Laudna’s gaze toward her. “It doesn’t matter how alive you are; you’re still you. And Delilah was just a desperate fool trying to ride on your coattails. She’s nothing, and you…you’re everything.”

Tears welled up in Laudna’s eyes, and she averted them from Imogen. “How can you know that?” she said. “She’s only been gone a few hours. I still have plenty of time to ruin everything”

“I know that because I know you,” Imogen said firmly. “You’re kind and smart and funny. You take care of people. You make them smile.” Imogen demonstrated with a watery smile of her own. “That woman was never capable of that. You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met, Laudna. And I’m just—I’m so glad you’re back in this world. I don’t care what you look like or whether your heart beats. I don’t care about anything except whether you’re safe and happy. And I know our friends feel the same.”

Tears streamed down Imogen’s face by the time she finished speaking. It was such a goddamn tragedy that Laudna had so much doubt in herself. How could she not see how amazing she was? How could she not see what was so blindingly obvious to Imogen?

But at least Laudna looked a little better for hearing it. Her eyes at slipped back to meet Imogen’s, and she stared as if she’d been given the meaning of life. “You have so much faith in me,” she said.

Imogen nodded. “Yeah,” she said, “I do. And I love you. You don’t forget that, okay? I love you no matter what.”

Laudna wrapped Imogen in a tight hug. “I love you, too,” she said. Then, after a moment’s silence, she added, “I’ve forgotten how to be alive. I think I may need to eat more than I did before.”

Imogen laughed. “You ready for dinner now?”

“I think so.” Laudna pulled away just enough to wipe her eyes. “But I don’t want to sit at that table. Could you—”

“I’ll bring some food up for us,” Imogen said, already anticipating Laudna’s request. She pressed a long kiss to the top of Laudna’s head, lingering a few moments longer than she meant to, just savoring for a moment how lucky she was before parting to head downstairs.

#critical role #imogen temult #laudna #imodna #my writing #i made laudna ‘human’ in this because i haven’t explored that yet djdndnnd #figured i’d shake it up

88 notes · View notes

lessthanimpressedlesbian · 2 years

Text

"You can still be the best broken thing you can be, though."

Laudna can't get the words out of her head, nor can she swallow down the bitterness that lingers in the back of her throat.

For so much of her existence, Laudna has been wrong. There's a difference, she thinks, between the two. Her bones break frequently, and her body doesn't work the way it used to. But she's not broken, not in the way Ashton is. Whatever snapped when she was hung from the tree has since healed, and over the years she has come to accept and even like her new existence.

No, what's broken is her soul. At least Ashton still has that intact.

Laudna can't help the slight resentment she feels for the earth genasi, however much she tries to remind herself that this is just one of the ways they show they care. But how can she just ignore the assumptions they made about her own trauma?

Of course she hides her shit! She doesn't want Imogen to hear all her darker thoughts and memories, nor does she trust anyone to really understand what she's been through. Ashton may be broken, but he's beautiful too. His shattered form still passes for humanoid, and it doesn't stop him from engaging with society. But Laudna is wrong, and before Imogen she was constantly on the run from people who could immediately tell something wasn't quite right with her.

So yes, she's hiding. As much as she can, really. It's getting harder and harder to keep Delilah in check, to remind herself that the bitch always lies to get her way. She's terrified of being alone again, of being betrayed by the first people to make her feel like a person again since before she was killed. Laudna has done horrible things to FCG and Imogen, and she often wonders where the line is between her and Delilah. She doesn't feel worthy of forgiveness, but she also doesn't feel worthy of concern. How nice of Ashton to worry, but what good does it do?

She is wrong and broken and barely more than a salvaged puppet anxiously waiting for her mistress to pull whatever strings necessary to ruin her unlife. No matter what she does, her past and her trauma trail closely behind, waiting for the perfect moment to shatter whatever semblance of normalcy she has built for herself. Nothing can last, but especially not where she's concerned.

Her time with this group has always been limited. She is only useful to them from a distance, and the one time she managed to exert sizeable damage was against a friend! After the whole debacle with the Shade Mother, Laudna already felt useless and unnecessary. If she opens up about Delilah, then she might as well pack her bags and await the inevitable end to her brief excursion into the land of the living. What else could possibly happen? She's a liability and a risk to their goals. Maybe they'll even kill her once she reveals just how vulnerable and out of control she is.

It doesn't matter, Laudna chastises herself. They have more important issues at hand. Despite it all, Ashton is right. Even if she's not broken in the way they are, she can still try to be her best without giving in to Delilah.

Or at least die trying.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #laudna #my fic #idk what this is #I'm not happy with it #but i needed to get it out of my head #i just need someone to give Laudna a hug #and help her realize she's a person too #and i hope bh's can help her open up and realize that she's not alone #i just think Laudna and Ashton weren't fully understanding each other #definitely projecting my own feelings into this #Neba writes

46 notes · View notes

sims-inmymouth · 2 months

Text

Delilah Five - Ep Eleven

February 1, 20XX

Happy February! Today was a great day! I got to visit Mareshah and Rebekah again! Mareshah was out on the field zombie-hunting, and Rebekah had an accident with the goats (something about a headbutt to the shins) and was having trouble walking much. So, they needed someone sprightly and able to help them around the house. That's where I came in! They radioed Tamah and asked her to send someone, and I was the lucky winner (Tamah is tending to the garlic crop and the cows, Theodora is fixing some frozen plumbing, Hossannah is off hunting frogs in HOB. She really hated being assigned that..)

I took my radio and found my way back to their house. I saw some zombies in the far-off distance, but none came near me, and I didn't see any other survivors.

Mareshah was getting ready to leave while Rebekah gave me my assignments. She wanted me to feed and clean for the goats, and then she wanted me to try my hand at working the comms tower. It went down in that big winter storm, so the reception of the radio has been tricky. Of course, I would be getting paid. Simoleons for the farm, and a nice warm dinner for me. We don't really need Simoleons, what with their being no shops anymore, but Theodora is convinced she can get good use from them. If she melts them, I swear.

Being in the radio room gave me a much better view of the computers and electronics R and M have. They've got tons of computers and routers and a mini comms signal. They use these to record and manage the radio show. Sometimes, Rebekah will prerecord shows for the radio (NEVER zombie reports, just entertainment things like the plays and music. Turns out Rebekah is an amateur actress!). It's all very complex and a touch hard to understand. Very hard to understand..

I started off by feeding the goats and cleaning out their pens. Can I tell you a secret? Goats smell like SHIT. Wayyyy worse than the cows. At least they're cute, and my farming experience allowed me to finish that relatively quickly. Sorry, goats!

Next up, the comms tower. This is where I really had to channel my Theodora energy and remember all the things she taught me. I needed upgrade parts I didn't have. I came back inside to see Rebekah (she was on air), and she gave me what I needed. I spent HOURS working on that tower. Don't tell anyone, but I was probably the WORST person to ask to do this job. Tamah is stubborn enough to figure it out, Theodora is Theodora, and Hossannah is clever and could rig something up. I'm fourteen years old and slapping shit together, hoping that something will stick. I must've done something right, because I could hear Rebekah celebrating inside.

By the time I was done, it was time for dinner. Rebekah slapped on a prerecorded audio of herself reading Hamlet and ate with me. She thanked me for fixing the comms tower. Now we can talk with more survivors farther away, like Oasis Springs and the Newcrest Ruins. She was very thankful to me, and she said she owed us. Us being me and Tamah and my friends, of course.

For dinner, Rebekah made fish and vegetables. She also brought out a chocolate pie she made. It was actual chocolate, not that dried powder shit I've gotten used to. It. was. amazing. We spent the dinner talking--me about my life on the farm, Rebekah about her wife and the stories from the radio. She told us about their pet squirrel they rescued from a horde, and she told me some fun secrets about Mareshah (she's afraid of cats!) She also shared some, just mundane things. Like, Mareshah is diabetic. I.. she could've told me that herself? I get the idea that Rebekah hates silence.

During the dinner, I got a transmission on my radio from Tamah. Theodora and Hossannah sent Tamah a message from HOB, and something went terribly wrong. I had to hurry home and leave right then and there, before we could even finish eating. I'm back at the farm now, waiting for them to come back. This is all so sudden, Tamah won't tell me what's going on. I'm scared.

Best,

Ruth Givens

#sims 4 #my sims #sims 4 screenshots #delilahfive #simblr #simlit #sims #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 zombies #sims story

0 notes

ladylilah · 11 months

Text

you’ve been served. featuring delilah deare and tristan tramp.

While Carrera Law was the biggest and best law firm on Echo Isle, it certainly wasn’t the only one. And Lilah Deare and her coworkers certainly weren’t the only ones who knew how to bend a contract or the law to fit their needs. It was something that Lilah was well aware of, considering it was those other lawyers that she went up against in court on a regular basis, but she had never quite thought that they would one day be coming for her personally. But here she was, standing at her kitchen island, staring at the letter that had just been handed to her with a smirk and a sharp you’ve been served. Without having even opened it, she knew what it was. Or at least, who it was that was coming after her. The actual contents of the letter itself and what she was being sued for could be a multitude of things, really. There wasn’t much she would put past her ex-husband, but as she read the words on the page, Lilah couldn’t help the sinking of her heart.

Contempt of court. Breaking of their custody agreement contract. Request for full custody.

Of course there was more fluff and legal jargon throughout the letter, but that was the gist of it. That was what it really all boiled down to. Tristan was suing her.

It shouldn’t be a surprise, considering he did have legal grounds for all of this, since Colette hadn’t spent a single night with him over the past month or so. But still, Lilah finds herself in shock for a moment or two as she processes it all. It may seem ridiculous, but this was almost worse than anything he could have done to her physically. A part of her would almost rather deal with the violence all over again than have to face this. Because this could ruin her. It could tarnish her career, ruin her reputation, or break her family if she lost…

And there was one way she knew she could win. Regardless of who may testify on Tristan’s behalf, even if her parents did follow through with their promise to stand on his side if it ever came down to this… Lilah had the evidence that could put him completely out of the picture. It was for this exact moment that she had taken such care in documenting every single bruise or marking he had left on her since the night her parents refused to help her leave. But busting it out and admitting to everything in front of an entire court, in front of her peers and anyone else who might attend, was the last thing she wanted to do.

Without thinking she tucked the paper into her pocket and snatched up her keys, storming out of the door and into her car. The entire drive to the casino, she knew this was a bad idea. She knew that it likely wasn’t going to end well. The car following behind her with one of Colin’s men was the only thing that made her feel even somewhat confident in this spark of the moment decision. Though, she knew that would have its consequences too when they likely reported back to their boss just where she was heading and what she was about to do. But she would deal with that later.

After parking the car, she didn’t hesitate in jumping out and heading right into the casino, brushing by the bouncer at the front door with a quick hello to the semi-familiar face she remembers having worked with Tristan. It only takes a moment for her to spot him, leaning against one of the walls as he watches over a game of poker being played by the few sad souls that spend their time in the middle of a weekday gambling. “We need to talk,” she states firmly as she heads his way, not even bothering to stop as she simply continues on towards the back office she knows is shared by himself and Oryan’s other henchmen. Once they're both inside and the door is closed, Lilah shoves the piece of paper that she’d received less than an hour ago into his chest, putting a bit more pressure than needed but certainly nothing close to anything he’d done to her. “What the hell is this?”

For all he had hoped that this move Lilah would get her to finally seek him out, Tristan hadn’t expected it to be so soon. He’d known that it was happening today, but he thought it would take at least a few hours before he heard from her. And even then he’d only really thought he’d get a phone call. But this was good, this was better than anything he had let himself hope for. “It’s called a subpoena. Didn’t they teach you all about that in your fancy little law school?” His words were mocking, not the best start to all of this considering they only sparked a further anger inside of his ex-wife. His smile that she once long, long ago used to consider to be charming now only made her want to punch him in the face.

“What do you think you’re doing? Fighting for custody? Suing me? What is this going to achieve, Tristan? Do you really want me to air out all our dirty laundry to a courthouse?” she asks, questions flying one after the other. In truth Lilah couldn’t understand what angle he was playing at right now. What did he have to gain from doing this? When so much was already going on - why make an even bigger scene and cause even more trouble? As he takes a step closer towards her, on instinct she backs away - though it doesn’t help much, considering she had already placed herself so close to him when they first arrived and now her step backwards has her bumping into the desk in the center of the room, trapping her in. A rush of fear and adrenaline kick in as she knows just what being in the position might lead to, but Lilah refuses to back down or show any of her worries.

The smile that hadn’t left his face even as she questioned his motives remained, a smugness growing in it as he sees just how worked up Lilah was over this. He’d known it was going to get to her, but he hadn’t realized just how great of a move it was. For a moment he almost wants to keep it up, to let her continue thinking that she was at risk of losing Colette - just to see what she might do next. But there was a risk that came with that and he wasn’t quite willing to take that. “You know, I think Sally may need to reconsider that offer she extended to make you partner. Because what kind of a lawyer can’t even recognize a fake subpoena when it’s presented at her own front door?” he reveals, watching as his ex-wife’s entire face falls as the realization that this had all been staged hits her. “You really didn’t recognize Hank? I’ll have to let him know his acting classes must be paying off. Or you’re just far more gullible than I’ve ever thought.”

“Why?” The one worded question is all she asks as Lilah’s head spins even further, the confusion only growing. Though it shouldn’t, not really. Because why would he need any motivation to mess with her? What was this if not just another form of abuse - fucking with her emotions and playing games just like he always had before.

Rather than responding right away, Tristan reached down to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her gently into his embrace. The tug isn’t met with any resistance. Though Lilah’s body is tense as she stands within his arms, she knows pushing away or fighting him off would only piss him off. And from the smell of alcohol on his breath and with their last encounters fresh in her mind, pissing him off was the last thing she wanted to do. “Why?” she asks again, voice quieter this time as she plays up the innocent act. It was a move that had a fifty-fifty shot of working: always either angering him more or actually making him feel somewhat sorry for her.

“Because I needed to talk to you. How else was I supposed to get you to reach out to me? With Scamp and those assholes at the house all the time, I had no other choice but to make you come to me,” he answers, as if it should have been obvious. He doesn’t dwell on it though, instead leaning forward to press a gentle kiss on her lips. A kiss that was met with no response, Lilah not returning it nor pulling away, instead simply remaining completely still. Like a deer frozen in headlights and waiting for the collision that was bound to come. “I’ve missed you. Can’t we just put all of this behind us and move on? I’m sorry, you know I’m sorry. Do we really have to keep playing all these games? Bodyguards and endless bullshit… I’m tired of it, Lilah. We don’t need to do any of this.”

Though she doesn’t move from her spot in his arms at that moment, she can feel the fight starting to build inside of her. Those were some of the exact words he always used to use before - the ones that came with gentle kisses, showerings of affection, and endless apologies and promises of getting better. She had fallen for it before, far too many times. She had accepted it all over and over, even when she knew things would likely never change. And she wasn’t about to do it again.

“No,” she states, the one singular word coming out firm as she tries to get out of his embrace. Only the moment she starts to move, his hold tightens and his arms are locking her in place. It’s what she had expected and she stops her movement, staring instead in his eyes and half pleading for this to just end. “Tristan, this is over. There’s nothing for us to talk about anymore. You need to let me, and the kids, go. Please - not just for our sake, but for your own as well.” Her words aren’t meant to hold any secret message within them, but Tristan reads further into it than what Lilah actually meant, just like he always does.

“What the fuck does that mean? For my own sake?” he snaps, his holding tightening once more as he pulls her closer against him. The smile is gone and an anger flashes in his eyes that Lilah is all too familiar with. “You know something, don’t you? Let me guess - it’s him, isn’t it? Fucking Hopper. Scamp already told me he’s going to kill me. But you know more than that, don’t you? What the fuck is he going to d–” With each word his hands had dug deeper and deeper into her waist, until she felt as if she were going to burst if he applied any more pressure. It wasn’t often that Lilah found the strength in herself to fight back against Tristan - usually too concerned with the repercussions that came from that or worried that the kids would hear or see. But as they stood in the casino office, neither of those things mattered. The kids already knew. He was already hurting her. What did she actually have to lose anymore? So she cut him off mid sentence, her knee lifting in a way she had seen and practiced so many times from self-defense videos online. It was with all of her strength that she collided her leg with his groin and then pushed her hands into his chest, throwing him off balance and onto the floor.

There was no hesitation as she ran to the door, not once bothering to look back or even leave with the final word. She didn’t care about that. All she wanted was to get the hell out of that office and as far away from him as she could. The moment she was out the door, Lilah was met with Colin’s man but she sped right past him, leaving the building at a brisk jog before anyone could actually stop her. Her entire body was shaking and she knew driving wasn’t an option, so even though she hated having to do it, she waited on the sidewalk until the gang member came out just a moment after her. No words were exchanged between them, Lilah too shaken to even know what she could possibly say to explain herself or the situation to them. Instead she simply nodded her head and started off towards the car he had followed her in, waiting until she heard the click of the back door unlocking before she opened it and slid inside, eyes glued to the window where they would remain for the entire drive to the familiar warehouse she knew he would end up taking her to.

#in a kind and wistful way ;; threads #tristan

1 note · View note

favefandomimagines · 3 years

Text

You Should’ve Told Me (e.b.)

Summary: you and Buck go separate ways but before you found out were pregnant.

AN: evan buckley is literally the most wholesome person ever and i love him

Buck was supposed to be your constant. That’s what the two of you had promised each other when you started dating. You were both at the age where dating casually wasn’t the goal anymore. It was to settle down snd start a family and a life together.

But real life got in the way. Your schedule never matched up with his, he somehow didn’t understand that you were a surgical resident at Hollywood General and that meant working long hours.

There was no time to spend together and it took a toll on the both of you. So he decided that it was better for you two to break up. You wanted to work it out and you offered to talk to your chief resident about switching up your schedule. But he didn’t want you to have to sacrifice your career for him.

So, you reluctantly agreed. Even though it was the opposite of what you wanted.

That was four months ago and you hadn’t seen him since. Soon after you and Buck broke up you found out you were a month pregnant. But you were holding such a grudge against him for breaking up with you, you hadn’t wanted to tell him.

There was no good time to tell your ex boyfriend you were having his baby. Especially when you were still actively working. And working at a hospital while five and a half months pregnant was not ideal.

But he had friends at the hospital. The entire 118 had friends at the hospital. Somehow the word got around that you were expecting and you received a call from Hen.

“Hello?” You answered. “You’re pregnant?” She questioned. “How did you-” You started. “Dr. Williams told me. Said Buck must be ecstatic to be a dad. But he doesn’t know does he?” Hen explained.

You were quiet for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut. “No. He doesn’t know. I guess a part of me is still angry that he left. I don’t want to talk to him but I know I need to.” You said. “Y/N, he deserves to know.” She said. “I know, Hen. I’m just trying to find a right time.” You told her.

“Look, I gotta get to a surgery on a premature baby. Pretty ironic.” You added with a dry laugh. “You call me if you need anything, okay? Surgery while five months pregnant is risky.” Hen said. You told her you would and then hung up the call.

Hen put her phone back in her pocket before she glanced over at Buck who was sitting next to Eddie. Buck needed to know the truth. She knew you’d be furious if she told Buck before you were ready.

But it was the right thing to do. For both of you, it could potentially fix things between you and him.

“Hey, Buck. I just heard some news from Dr. Williams over at Hollywood General.” Hen started. “What’s that? Is Y/N okay?” Buck asked. “Well, she was going to tell you when she was ready but you deserve to know.” Hen said. “What’s going on, Hen?” He questioned.

“Y/N’s, pregnant. Williams said she’s about five maybe six months along.” Hen confessed. All eyes landed on Buck as he quickly stood up, ready to leave the station and head to the hospital. “Buck, she’s in surgery.” Hen stopped him. “She’s five months pregnant and they’re still letting her operate?” He questioned.

He shook his head with a scoff before he stormed out of the station.

You had just gotten out of surgery, your back and neck sore due to the hours of standing you just endured. As you worked the kinks out of your neck, you turned the corner and saw Buck leaning against a hallway doorframe.

You came to a slow stop when you noticed him standing there. “Buck? Wh-What are you doing here?” You questioned. “You look good. For being five months along.” He said.

“Buck,” You started with a sigh. “You should’ve told me, Y/N.” Buck cut you off. “I was going too. I-I just wasn’t ready to see you again.” You said. “I had a right to know.” He said. “You had a right to know because you are the father, not because it was going to magically change things between us.” You slightly snapped.

“Y/N, I did it for the both of us. You didn’t need to sacrifice your job for me.” He told you. “No, what I needed was you. I needed you, Buck and you decided you didn’t want to fight for us anymore.” You sneered.

Soon after you finished talking, you scrunched up your face at some mild discomfort. “What? What is it? Are you okay?” Buck frantically questioned, quickly coming to your aid.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. She’s just really kicking. Probably due to the four hour surgery I was just in.” You answered. Buck looked at you with wide eyes and a ghost of a smile on his face. “Did you say she?” He asked.

“Yeah. It’s a girl.” You confirmed. You could see the look on his face and how overcome with pride and joy he was at the fact he was going to be having a daughter.

You knew then that you couldn’t deny him of getting a chance to be apart of the rest of your pregnancy and his child’s life. “I actually have an ultrasound scheduled. I get one every month to make sure everything’s okay. Do you want to be there?” You asked.

“Yes. Yes, absolutely I want to be there.” Buck answered. You smiled up at him as his hand fell into yours. “And then when you get off, you are coming back home. I know she’s not going to fix everything but we can at least start before she gets here. I want her to have two parents that love each other.” He added.

“I would like that.” You replied with a smile. Buck helped you to the OBGYN exam room and also helped you lay down.

Your OB was a good friend of yours, having been in multiple surgeries together since you started your residency. She came in, greeted you and then noticed Buck in the room.

“You finally told him?” She asked. “Not exactly. His coworker told him because Williams can’t keep her mouth shut.” You answered. “Okay, then. Well, welcome dad. Ready to see your baby?” The doctor asked him.

You thought Buck was going to pass out right then so you took his hand and squeezed it gently.

The doctor placed the wand on your belly, moving it around until you saw the baby on the screen. “There’s Baby Buckley. She’s looking great, about the size of a sweet potato. Everything looks good for both baby and mom. But at this point in the pregnancy, iron levels tend to get a little low so make sure you’re eating well so you don’t become anemic.” The doctor advised you.

You looked up at Buck and saw the tears in his eyes and smiled softly at the sight. “Can he hear the heartbeat?” You asked. The doctor smiled back at you as she turned the sound on the machine, a loud beating sound coming through the small speakers.

“Nice and healthy.” The doctor commented. “That’s our baby.” Buck said. “Yeah, it is. We’ve been calling her Baby Buckley because I can’t think of a name. I thought it was going to be a boy.” You told him. “You had a name for a boy?” Buck asked. “Yeah. I was thinking Evan.” You said, looking up at him.

Buck leaned down and kissed the top of your head. “I know you may not be ready to hear it but I love you.” He whispered.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” The OB said, exiting the room. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was just too scared to face you after we broke up but that wasn’t fair to you.” You whispered.

“I’m not mad at you for not telling me, I’m mad at myself for leaving you alone. Having to go through this by yourself up until now.” Buck said. “Promise me you won’t leave.” You said.

“I promise. I’m not going anywhere.”

You knew labor was a painful experience. You’ve seen it first hand many times in medical school but you didn’t know how painful it really was.

It was long, your body was getting torn apart and you were mentally and physically exhausted. But Buck was there at your side through it all. Even when you screamed at him and told him you were in pain because it was all his fault.

He knew not to take it seriously. Even with the epidural he knew you were in pain. After 15 hours of labor, Buck’s daughter was finally in his arms. You were asleep, which was well deserved and Buck was holding the baby.

You stirred slightly and opened your eyes slowly and looked over at Buck in a hospital rocking chair. Looking at the little baby as if it were an $800 million lottery ticket.

“Gimme. I want to hold her.” You said tiredly, holding your hands out for your child. “Mommy is really greedy apparently.” Buck teased as he stood up. He placed the baby gently in your arms as he sat on the edge of your hospital bed.

“We still haven’t come up with a name.” He said. “You know how people say you won’t know your baby’s name until you see them?” You questioned, looking at her wrapped in her little pink blanket. “Yeah, why?” Buck asked. “Delilah. That’s her name.” You said.

Buck smiled warmly at the two most important people in his life. “It’s perfect.” He told you. “Just like her mom.” Buck added. “She has her dad’s eyes though. Beautiful blue eyes.” You spoke.

Buck looked at both you and your baby and saw the rest of his life right in front of him. But he wasn’t satisfied with coparenting, he wanted to be with you. Wake up to you in the morning and you being the first thing to greet him when he got home. You and your daughter.

“Marry me.” He said quietly. “What did you say?” You questioned. “I said, marry me. I want to be with you every day, even on the bad days when you’ve been up since four in the morning. I’ve wanted that with you since I met you and Inwas dumb to leave you before. So I’m not going anywhere.” Buck explained.

You smiled up at him before leaning forward to kiss him deeply. “Took you long enough, Buckley.” You whispered.

The seemingly perfect moment between you and Buck was ruined when the door to your hospital room opened.

“Can we see the baby?” Hen carefully asked as she poked her head in. “Of course you can.” You answered. Hen entered the room followed by the rest of the 118 and Maddie to see the newest addition of the family.

Everyone stood around and stared in awe at the baby. Buck’s baby, something they didn’t think would happen in a million years.

“What’s her name?” Maddie asked. “Delilah Buckley.” Buck answered. “She looks just like you, Y/N.” Hen commented. “Well, that’s a relief.” Buck said. “I’m so proud of you, Evan.” Maddie said hugging her brother.

“She really is beautiful.” Bobby added. “Welcome to the club, Buck.” Eddie said, patting him on the back. “I love all of you but Y/N needs to rest and so does Delilah.” Buck announced. “Already getting protective.” Chimney said.

You bid your goodbyes to your friends before Buck took Delilah out of your arms. You began to protest but Buck shook his head. “Nope. You need to rest. Especially if we want to go home tomorrow.” He said.

You smiled as he sat down in the chair, making faces at Delilah, who was gripping his finger with her hand. You had your perfect little family and you were very grateful things worked out for the better.

#911 imagine #911 fox #evan buckley #evan buckley imagine #oliver stark #imagine #imagines #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley oneshot

1K notes · View notes

nerdyfangirl67 · 3 years

Note

Can you do #39 on the Follower Celebration Prompt w/ McGee. Like he ends up cheating with Delilah? I feel evil 😈~ 🦋✨

Pairing: McGee x GN!reader

A/N: OH MY GOSH ANON!! I love it!! I love a good angsty fic and a cheating McGee?! Yes!! (Does this make me evil too?🤷‍♀️ 😉) I’m going to clarify though that I don’t think beginning seasons McGee would do this, but once he gains his confidence in the later seasons, I could see this happening. (Geez anon, now I’m saying that I could see him being a cheater 😬 I really am evil…) These drabbles are getting out of hand, because I’m pretty sure I’m making each one longer than the last 🙄😬

39. “To think that I actually loved you.”

The excitement racing through you made it hard to stand still as you waited for the elevator to arrive on Tim’s floor. You’d just gotten off a long shift at work and instead of going home to crash on the couch while your favorite tv show played on in the background, you had decided to surprise Tim by stopping by on your way home.

The two of you had had opposite work schedules for the better part of the last month, meaning that you hadn’t seen each other for at least that long, if not longer. Phone calls were few and far between and despite having a very tech savvy boyfriend, you still had yet to figure out how to properly use video calls without somehow managing to hang up on Tim. And as convenient as texting was, you really just wanted to see your boyfriend in person, thus the reason you were showing up unannounced at 10pm on a Thursday.

You flip through the keys on your key ring for a few seconds before finding the key to Tim’s apartment door. You unlock it, your excitement growing as you swing the door open. A feeling of surprise blooms in your chest as you take in the atmosphere of the apartment.

The apartment was mostly dark, a few lit, well placed candles being the only source of light in the apartment, aside from the soft blue glowing light coming from Tim’s computer monitors. A delicious, homey smell wafted out of the kitchen and into what you called the ‘living room’. You drop your work bag and keys by the door, slipping off your shoes as you wonder if Tim somehow knew you’d be stopping by.

Only a few seconds later, upon entering the kitchen, you find out how truly wrong you’d been in thinking this was for you. Sitting at what you considered to be ‘your spot’ at the kitchen island was a beautiful brunette. You’d met her once or twice at a few of Tim’s work functions that he’d taken you to but you hadn’t a clue why she was sitting in Tim’s kitchen.

“Hello.” You say as you step into view, startling Tim enough that he drops the dish he’d been washing.

“Y/N, what ah- what are you doing, here I mean?” He stammers out nervously, quickly drying his hands before coming up to you.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Tim’s eyes shift from yours to the brunette’s, and then back to yours as if he didn’t know what you were talking about.

“In my apartment?” He questions, and for a moment you wonder how someone so smart could be so clueless.

“No Tim. What are you doing here with her?” You ask, jerking a thumb in the direction of the brunette, who was opening and closing her mouth as if she wanted to say something.

“It’s a work thing.” Tim states simply, as if it should have been clear to you that’s all that was going on with the two of them.

“Tim I wasn’t born yesterday. I know a work dinner when I see one and this isn’t it.” You spit out as a torrent of emotions rises in your chest.

“I’m going to go.” The brunette says as she makes a hasty retreat to the door. “Thanks for dinner Tim. I’ll talk to you later.” She gives him a gentle smile over her shoulder before she pulls the door closed.

You turn your gaze back to Tim, the tears clouding your Y/E/C eyes sending a shock of surprise through him. “Why Tim?” You murmur, your words so quiet he almost misses them. He slowly follows behind you as you move back towards the apartment door.

“To think that I wasted years pining over you, trying desperately to get your attention, to get you to see that I liked you.” You say defeatedly as you pick up your keys and bag from where you’d dropped them by the door. “To think that I actually loved you.”

You shake your head softly as you pull open the door to Tim’s apartment. “Well, not anymore.”

Tim watches you go, unsure of what to do, what to say, what to think. He knew he’d screwed up. Although the evening had started as something of a work dinner, it had shortly become much more than that. Secrets had been shared over glasses of red wine, followed by his hand brushing up against hers and only moments before Y/N had entered the apartment, a soft, almost delicate meeting of lips over the center of the kitchen island.

But you meant far more to him than Delilah ever would, yet he’d went and ruined everything the two of you had anyway. He knew he didn’t have the right to follow after you and beg for forgiveness or tell you that he loved you, despite everything inside him wanting desperately to do so.

Instead, he did one of the hardest things he ever had to do in his life; he let you go. He didn’t follow after you and plead for a second chance. He didn’t call you the next day, asking for a chance to explain. He didn’t stop by your office a week later to try and fix the mess he’d made of your relationship. No, he let you walk right out of his life, knowing that he hadn’t loved you the way you deserved, that he hadn’t loved you in the way he’d promised you he had.

And the hardest part, Tim soon realized, was watching someone else love you and make you truly happy, knowing that never again would he have the chance to do that for you.

Tagging: @madamsnape921 @fanfictionwr1tin @thisiscalm-andits-doctor @leroyjethrogibbsgirl @captainxholmes

#🦋✨ anon #nerdyfangirl67 follower celebration #NCIS #ncis fanfiction #NCIS fandom #NCIS fanfic #NCIS drabble #NCIS reader insert #ncis reader #ncis headcanon #timothy mcgee x reader #timothy mcgee #Timothy McGee reader insert #McGee #mcgee x fem!reader #McGee x gn!reader #tim mcgee x you #tim mcgee x female reader #tim mcgee reader insert

71 notes · View notes

vaxxy-the-raven · 3 years

Text

Low key, once again, thinking about Percy and Vax hooking up after Vax gets bitten by Sylas Briarwood.

Like, it's the worse thing they could do - Drunk, angry, feeling guilty, hating themselves - but it feels right and good in the moment?

Then the shame and regret hits the next morning when Percy wakes up in Vax's bed, the bite wound having reopened and bled a bit.

Vax waking up, sore and confused, to Percy walking in with a first aid kit, coffee and a potion of numbness.

The two talking it out as Percy fixes Vax up, apologizing to eachother and making promises it won't happen again, that they won't bring it up either and agreeing nothing good could come from it.

Their relationship is shaky for a few days, the shame lingering.

And when Vax is charmed by Sylas under Whitestone Castle, Percy initially doesn't realize what happened and thinks Vax has decided to go against him in the end after what they did.

Then he feels stupid after realising that Vax was being manipulated by Sylas' magic.

And then, after Delilah nearly kills Vex and Vax nearly breaks down completely, Percy decides that he really needs to make it up to the twins.

They've been through hell because of him and he hates himself for it.

But then, one night as he works in his workshop at the keep, Vax walks in with a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

There's a look to him Percy can't read, but it suddenly feels like the night Vax was bitten followed up by them hooking up together all over again, Percy growing nervous.

They talk, Vax assuring Percy he doesn't blame him for anything that happened to him or Vex during all of this - "I fucked up and paid the consequences, okay? And Delilah Briarwood didn't have to do that, but she chose to, not you. Stop beating yourself up for things out of your control, Percival." - and that Percy needn't worry about making it up to anyone.

And Percy breaks. He's crying and struggling to speak, Vax pulling him in for a hug and comforting his friend.

Percy doesn't understand, he's hurt Vax and gotten both Vax and his sister hurt, why doesn't Vax hate him?

And he asks this out loud, genuinely confused.

And Vax softens, "You think you hurt me that night? Perce, I really enjoyed that, but it wasn't healthy for either of us."

"But I reopened your wound!"

"Percy, I've reopened the bloody thing every night I've gone to bed since it fucking happened, that wasn't you."

And Percy just stares, dumbfounded.

It shouldn't be so shocking, really, but then Percy is laughing and it's Vax's turn to be confused now.

"Perce? You good, friend?"

And it's the "friend" that has Percy stop, wheezing and doubled over, gasping for air.

After all of it, Vax still considers Percy his friend.

And that does it for Percy.

If anything happened to Vax or his twin, Percy would never forgive himself. He loves them.

And Percy does calm down, does take deep breaths before fixing himself up.

"Sorry, I just realized I'm a colossal fucking idiot, that's all." Percy would then give a crooked grin, cheeks a faint pink and his eyes wild.

And Vax laughs, grinning back.

"Ey, welcome to the club, we have free cloaks." He jokes.

And yeah, Percy softens.

Because he loves Vax and he knows it can't ever happen.

He mentally curses Sylas out for that fact, blaming the Vampire for biting Vax and pushing them to do what they did, ruining any chance of them ever getting together.

Whether it is or isn't Sylas' fault, however, Percy is happy enough to just be Vax's friend.

Friends love eachother, he knows that, so he doesn't feel too guilty about his crush.

Though, when he does eventually end up dating Vex in the end, he can't help but wonder about if he had ended up with the other twin instead.

And seeing the way Vax reacts to them in the beginning, Percy thinks that maybe Vax keeps wondering that too.

But they'll never know now, not after Vax is killed by Vecna and Percy marries Vex.

Not after Vesper is born and Keyleth is left crying every night over a love that never had a chance to blossom, hanging onto Percy as she drunkenly rants and raves about how evil The Raven Queen apparently is.

But Percy still dreams of that night in Vax's room, Vax's hands pulling at his hair as Percy gives Vax his all, Vax letting Percy in even after Percy's past had literally came back and bitten Vax.

And Percy can't help but laugh and cry over a glass of red wine as he thinks of how of course it was Vax who Vecna would kill in the end.

Vax, bitten by Sylas.

Vax, who Percy fucked out of anger and guilt.

Vax, who was charmed into helping the Briarwoods work to bring Vecna back.

Vax, who's sister nearly died to Delilah Briarwood's hand.

Vax, who so bravely risked his life to save Percy's long thought dead sister.

Vax, who sold his soul to save his sister from The Raven Queen after he, Percy, accidentally caused her death.

Vax, that bloody charming rogue bastard who had stolen Percy's heart so early on.

Of course it was him.

The framed painting of Vax above the fireplace in Vex and Percy's office doesn't do the Half Elf any justice, Percy tells himself over a bite of dark chocolate one day.

Nobody could ever, he thinks.

Because Vax'ildan, for all his faults and flaws, had been full of love and had forgiven him.

Had forgiven Percy even when Percy's history quite literally ruined Vax's happy ever after.

Had given his blessings to Percy when Percy married the other twin in the end.

Sometimes Percy lies awake at night, Vex sleeping at his side, and Percy can't help but picture Vax there instead.

What if? What if?

But he's glad Vex is there, that she's not her brother.

Besides, Percy doesn't think he could ever make it up to Vax after everything it is that Vax had done for him.

And he isn't with Vex in place of Vax, Gods no, he loves her for her and couldn't ever replace her with anyone.

Even if Vax was still here.

But he'd be lying if he ever said he stopped loving Vax too.

That he doesn't regret not letting things develop after that cursed night in Emon.

Because he does regret that, he does still love Vax.

And that'll probably never stop.

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr c1 e25 #cr c1 e34 #vax'ildan #percy de rolo #perc'ildan #the briarwoods #vex'ahlia #perc'ahlia #keyleth #vax'leth #lynias shut up challenge #long post #critical role headcanons #critical role au

54 notes · View notes

scfrozenover · 3 years

Photo

Schitt’s Creek Frozen Over 2020 Creator Reveals

All I Want, aka O Christmas Trope; @januarium

All the Fellas That I Haven't Kissed; Pants (Smarty_Pants), Five678Patty

along for the ride; the_hodag (@patrick-rose)

Bells All Ring, Horns All Blow; @fishyspots

The Best Decorations; @thefirstmrshummel

The Big Chill; swat117

A Boyfriend for Christmas; @frizzlenox

Building a Mystery; @spiffymittens

A Cardamom Christmas; @lisamc-21

Christmas at Ronnie's; unkindravens (@corvidapocalypse)

the christmas chateau; perfect-porcelain @tedddylupin

The Christmas Gift On Everyone's Wishlist; mihaly (@davidroseshusband)

Christmas Traditions; dameofpowellestate (@mymariahcarey)

Come In from the Cold; @doublel27

Craft Fair; DavidsTherapyChicken

Dear Santa...; @yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)

December 25th; unkindravens (@corvidapocalypse)

Do They Know it's Christmastime at All?: A Jolly Holly Holiday Mystery (Interflix Original); chasingkerouac (@ckerouac)

Do you wanna fuck a snowman?; @ships-to-sail, @yourbuttervoicedbeau (kiwiana)

Drink a toast to innocence, Drink a toast to now; @designatedgrape

everybody digs a swinging cat; doingthemost (@alamborghini)

Exactly Twelve O'Clock at Night; Pants (Smarty_Pants)

The Exchange; PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead

Family Traditions; PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead

Five Ways to Ruin a First Date; likerealpeopledo (@likerealpeopledo-on-ao3)

from the dark and wetted soil; @rockinhamburger

Frozen Fingers; @kindofspecificstore

Good Winter; Distractivate

Half of My Soul, as the Poets Say; mixtapesandsunsets

Happy Accidents; @lisamc-21

Happy Holi-Rays!; lastchancecafe

have a cup of cheer; @hullomoon

Have Yourself A Happy Little Hanukkah; therapychicken

Here We Go A'Wassailing; @themelancholyvegetable

A Holiday Escape; @lisamc-21

hopes as high as a kite; hudders-and-hiddles (@wild-aloof-rebel)

How Sweet It Is; @this-is-not-nothing

Hung with Care; Poutini (@cheesecurdsgravyandfries)

Hurt for the Holidays; @missgeevious

I Just Wanna Keep on Waiting, Underneath the Mistletoe; @justwaiting23

I Smell Snow; @pine67

i thought i'd ask you just the same; doingthemost (@alamborghini)

I Will Make You So Happy Here; Distractivate

It Could Be a Wonderful Life; @justwaiting23

It's Always Been You; @lisamc-21

It’s My (Christmas) Party and I’ll Panic if I Want To; @delilah-mcmuffin

Just to Hold the Hands I Love; @designatedgrape

Last Christmas; @holmesapothecary

Marriage of Convenience Store; @icmezzo

Me, You, and Stevie; @flowerfan2

Mind if I Move in Closer? @justwaiting23

Mistletoe; in48frames

Must Have Been Some Magic; @sunlightsymphony, Rhetorical Questions (@rhetoricalk)

My Best to Bob Cratchit; barelypink

Neither Snow Nor Rain; @middyblue (daisyblaine)

Oh, There Could Be No Other; Rhetorical Questions (@rhetoricalk)

Petit Papa Nöel; @subitodolcediva

Pining For You; @high-seas-swan (FangLang)

present company excepted; mycleverusername

Resolved; @frizzlenox

Rose Apothecookie; sapphirescribe (@eamestrousers) @icmezzo

Rose Gold; @fairmanor

Secret Sands-ta (...sorry, I had to); @therapychicken

Singles Week; Five678Patty

Snow Globe; DavidsTherapyChicken

The Snow it Melts the Soonest; Amanita_Fierce, MoreHuman

Song for a Winter's Night; @kiashyel

Stray; RhetoricalQuestions (@rhetoricalk), @neelyo67

sugar and spice; @hullomoon

traveled down the road and back again; sonlali (@landofsonlali)

Unadulterated Loathing; @fairmanor

Under the Mistletoe; @thegrayness

Us; @trueillusion82

a very brewer christmas; @sparklesmagiclightlove

The Weather Outside is Frightful; OnMyShore

The weather outside is frightful; @thegrayness

Welcome To The New Year; @egoanesthesia

Where Every Stay Feels Like Home; MoreHuman

Winter Fest; Rina (rinadoll)

Wrap You Up and Keep You Warm; @egoanesthesia

You and Me Forevermore; thetomkatwholived (@theswiftiewholived)

You Warm Me Up; @lisamc-21

you're here (where you should be); singsongsung (@anniemurphys)

your face chases away the chill; Marleycat (@simplymarleycat)

#scfrozenover #schitt's creek #schitts creek #SC fic #SC fanart #filk #schitt's creek podfic #creator reveals #david rose #alexis rose #moira rose #patrick brewer #stevie budd #johnny rose

151 notes · View notes

etheraella · 3 years

Text

The Lost Letter for Love

(Fred Weasley x Reader)

Summary : 10 years of friendship through letters, and being a hopeless romantic didn’t help you realise your feelings for your best friend, until it might be too late.

Warnings : MUGGLE!AU slow-burn, angst, violence if you squint, best friends-to-lovers, a few cursing you probably won’t realise.

Feet shuffling against the living room carpet, you finally let your body slump on the sofa with a sigh. The sound of wrinkling leather waves through the empty corridor of your shared house. You ignored it, knowing that one of your housemates (who also happen to be your best friends) might come huffing into the room for continuously abusing furniture. With the same occasion happening countless number of times that week, you expected them to grow tired of your mood swings.

You reached for the nearest cushion beside you, digging your fingers onto the sides of the rough object, before stuffing your face into it; rage burning in your chest for a peculiar Weasley. You lift your face from the cushion furiously, running your hands through your hair.

"Is it that hard for that git to take time and write to me?" you cursed under your breath.

You heard a scoff before lifting your head and meeting eyes with your friend, Delilah. She was leaning against the archway of the living room. "Go on, explain yourself." she said, walking to the couch beside you -- leaving a gap, knowing you might blow off any minute if bothered. Before you could reply, she shakes her head. "And don't lie to me, you've been acting like a maniac, plotting a murder for a week now."

"She probably is, It's been 3 weeks since she last received a letter from her long-distance boyfriend. Of course she's gone mad." You needn't turn around, knowing it was your other roommate, Sara.

"Fred." you say gripping the sweat-stained pillow and throwing it at her. "Is my best friend," pausing before adding "Nothing more," then leaning against the couch.

You bit your lip in frustration, pulling off a few loose threads from the hem of your sleeves in anger, "Be patient, Y/N," Delilah says, patting your back. "He might be busy with his shop or dealing with.. well, whatever he might be doing," You rolled your eyes, seeing the now sitting Sara looking at you, sympathetically.

"Well, he can do whatever the hell he wants for all I care. No actually--I don't care, they're just letters." You stood up and stormed up to your room. Shutting the door with a click, you hear muffled voices of your two friends, one of them saying "Wasn't she enraged three minutes ago".

You feel your head spinning before pulling out a specific letter from a wooden box and leaning against the desk. The words that were inked on the paper still enliven the butterflies in your stomach, even after you've memorised them. It was the last letter you received from him before his gifts came to an abrupt stop. You felt like a 16 year old teenager feeling giddy over a crush. Your eyes widen -- reminding yourself "NO Y/N, he's just a friend!" Suddenly remembering you weren't supposed to be 'caring', you cringed to yourself before shoving the letter back in the box weighing a heavy heart.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

You let your body fall against the soft mattress with a squeal, staring up the ceiling whilst clutching the new envelope up to your chest. Without realising the rapid rate of your heartbeat, you impatiently tore open the envelope and unfolded its content.

Dearest Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits.

I deeply apologise for this delayed reply as I have been quite busy with the joke shop here. Formalities aside, I'm going to be making a few business arrangements in your town. George thought I should go instead of him, and I definitely agree with him. I can't wait to see you, and expect me to ring your house phone tomorrow to discuss. Sadly, I'd have to make this letter short, pumpkin.

P.S bring along that beautiful smile of yours when we meet.

Yours lovingly,

Fred G. Weasley

A smile forms across your face as you read his words, your heart doing summersaults. Before you could trace his signature, you hear a knock on your bedroom door. Sighing, you opened the door, seeing an eyebrow raised Delilah and Sara. Seeing your friends just makes you want to squeeze them in a hug of joy. The smile on your lips didn't falter as you tried forming words "I-"

"We know, Y/N." Delilah interrupted. "We guessed the moment you turned all giddy when coming home. You even fell from the entrance stairs! What'd he say?" Sara asked, smirking. You stared at them, the red mark on your ankle feeling suddenly obvious.

"He said he's going to be dealing with a few business things here. I think he's coming in a few days." You say, your smile growing wider as the words escape your lips. Fred and you have met before. Only, it was twice or trice a year from a long-distance decade of friendship.

Your friendship with Fred was a rather complicated story that even to you, seems a little cliche of how it started with a single complication.

A letter,

The letter had somehow mistakenly ended up to your address, knowing that a 'Hermione Granger' doesn't exist in your household. Being the hopeless romantic you are, you thought it was some kind of love letter so you tore open the letter and read it. In the midst of the paragraph, you feel a pang of guilt as the letter has only to do with family matters. You cursed yourself, and felt sorry for the sender and immediately returned the letter to the signed name 'Fred Weasley' with an attached paper for explanation.

A few days after, you received a letter a letter from him, this time with your name as the addressee. Fred apolagised and offered his gratitude for returning his letter, as it was his mistake for writing the wrong address after all.. And that ladies and gents, was the story on how your friendship was formed.

Although the two of you had exchanged numbers on paper, you fancied the idea of continuing to use the old method with letters, as it was a reminder of how the two of you had gotten to know each other. Fred had always been open about his family and business to you. The both of you admitted that you weren't romantically involved with anyone, but decided to leave that topic 2 years ago. Surely, if he was in a relationship, he'd let you know anyway.

The more often you and Fred exchanged letters, the more you felt a tinge of excitement as he expresses his life and thoughts to you, hoping he'd feel the same. Sometimes, you'd spend endless nights rereading a few old letters of his which you cherished in a wooden box, paragraphs memorised.

Fred took you to meet his family on the third year of your friendship, even Hermione who was Fred's future sister-in-law back then was there. Molly Weasley had sent you presents for Christmas since then, which contained her self-made sweaters. You wondered how much Fred mentioned you to the Weasleys.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Later that week, Fred gave you a call, arranging your meeting for an evening. As soon as you saw the red-head arrive on your front door, you smiled and embraced him in a friendly hug. Fred, who was towering over you, looked the same as he always did; charming, with freckles painted on the bridge of his nose, enough to sway any girl’s feet.

"How's my pumpkin doing?" he grins, with a raised brow. You feel your face heating from the sound of his low-pitched voice calling the nickname he gave you 4 years ago. "I'm doing fine, Freddie." you said, returning his grin. The two of you immediately caught yourselves in a conversation on the journey. Clueless as to where Fred was taking you.

"Are you trying to kidnap me?" you scoffed jokingly, after the fourth time you had asked Fred for the destination while he was continuously refusing. "Pumpkin, I would have ordered someone to bring you to my hotel if I was." he winked, glancing sideways at you, making your cheeks blow bright pink in the shadow of the night. "But then again, I won't be kidnapping if I don't do it myself".

Finally, the two of you arrived at a coffee shop, "Is this the 'surprise', Freddie?" you asked him, getting out of the car.

"Not exactly." he smiles. The smell of baked muffins hit your nostrils as you enter the shop. Fred led you to a seat while you silently followed him, he stopped at a corner table next to a huge window, a girl with long black hair was already occupied.

"Y/N, I'd like to introduce you to Grace, my girlfriend." Fred turns to you with a prideful grin plastered across his face. "Darling, this is my best friend, Y/N." You felt your heart stop. Following his gaze, your eyes landed on the girl appearing to be his girlfriend, smile up at you, showing her pearly white teeth. Quickly pushing your overfilled thoughts away, you shook her hand, the room suddenly became insufferable. You forced a smile as you hesitantly took the seat opposite to them.

"Since, you're my best friend and all, I thought the two of you should meet." Even though he sounded as if it was meant for you, he didn't spare you a single glance. "Yes, Y/N. Seeing how much you meant to him and all." Grace smiled slightly, "I mean.. as friends." Grace added pressing the word 'friends'. You could’ve sworn you saw a sly look in her icy blue eyes, but shook it off, trying your best to act natural, smiling back at her sweetly.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

Every time you glanced at Fred, you felt a stinging pain in your chest; maybe you were just feeling protective over him? But does that include wanting to have him all for yourself, as selfish as it is? It felt wrong with the idea of loving your best friend, but it felt right loving him.

Regretfully, you felt like an idiot for not recognizing your feelings sooner and denying them. The missed opportunities you could have experienced if you had just revealed your true feelings to him whether it was on paper, on phone or even in person. Were you just scared of ruining your friendship?

Sara and Delilah noticed your change in behaviour when Fred’s name pops up in random conversations, until one night you burst into tears and poured your bottled-up feelings onto them. It didn't help matters when you and Fred met, the blue-eyed minkle always tagged along. When Fred wasn't around, she bared her venom-like teeth. "I've seen the way you look at Fred, I'm not stupid."

And from there onwards…

"You're too immature for Freddie."

…you started knowing her more than Fred ever will.

"The two of you have been friends for what? A decade? He's known me a year, guess we all know who he sees as his lover and who as a friend."

That last statement hurt enough for you to have to restrain yourself from slapping the smirk off her face as she said it. You tried your best to act normally in front of Fred, but you knew seeing them together was a pain too unbearable for you to handle, so you declined his hangout calls and started seeing him less and less.

The last thing you wanted was to destroy their relationship by breaking down in front of the person you cared for, and revealing Grace's true colours. Knowing Fred, he'd side with you and break up with Grace, but seeing them together made you realise how happy they were. Fred deserved the happiness Grace brought him. And you’re well aware that the feelings he shared with her were much more in depth than the ones he shared with you, because when he looks at her, his face says it all

A/N : Hi ! This is Luna, SO the ending wasn’t what I had in mind but overall, this story gives me victorian era vibes idk why lmao. OMG all my love goes to Celeste for helping me edit this, please reblog and comment if you like this fic :) We haven’t been active lately due to studying and all, but now we’re back with more fics. + taglist form up soon 🤝

81 notes · View notes

pretend-writer · 3 years

Text

Down Below (Chapter 72)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2k words

Warning: swearing, mention of death

✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤ · ✤

It was hard to grasp why majority of us were in on staying in Sanctum. Call me paranoid but it was hard to trust someone who we barely knew; I mean look what happened with the grounders, Mount Weather, Diyoza and McCreary.

But Clarke always knew what was best for us right? She was the person we had to listen to because she kept us together, kept us sane and had our back throughout everything. Obviously Clarke knew what she was doing.

She knew it was a great idea to leave Raven, Marcus and Octavia outside when the radiation was going to kill us. Clarke knew to shoot me in the head when I tried to save them. She knew to betray her family and side with the enemy that was trying to kill them for the valley.

So it was such a great idea to listen to her to stay here. Not that we had a say in it at all.

Some of us knew that this was a terrible idea. They interviewed Clarke, horrible candidate to represent us, to show us that we were reliable to the community. That we were no harm.

But that was a lie wasn't it? All we've been doing since we landed on Earth was fight war one day after another. We've made enemies, soon joined clans but continued to kill each other. Who were we to tell them that we deserve to live with them.

Somehow, someway Russell and his people accepted us into their community. Don't know what lie Clarke pulled out of her ass but they were more than excited for us to stay with them. Too excited.

So enthused about welcoming us that they've invited us to attend their Opening Ceremony for "Naming Day", whatever that meant.

John and I sat together, watching everyone mingling and introducing themselves to our new "people."

'You know it's bad for your skin to crinkle your brows like that.' John laughed softly, watching me stress over these new people that we had to live with.

Looking over at Murphy, I rubbed my forehead as I tried to hide my facial expression. 'I'm sorry. Force of habit to not trust people, that's all.'

'Enemies wouldn't save lives. Matter of fact, I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for them.'

'Please don't tell me you're defending them.'

'Ah, no. It's just that-' He bit his lip as he gazed at the people. 'I don't know, it doesn't hurt to have a little hope. For us.'

My jaw dropped, 'John Murphy talking about hope? Wow, you must be a different person.'

He nudged me, 'I died, didn't I?'

'Not funny.'

'What? Too soon?' He chuckled a little until he saw that I wasn't joking. 'Aw, baby I'm sorry.'

The flashback of that moment still terrified me, the way he lied silently, not moving a muscle. 'I was scared that I was going to lose you.'

John smiled, kissing me on my temple as he wrapped his arm around me. 'I'm not going anywhere. Your sister calls me cockroach remember?'

'Right, the infamous cockroach.' I kissed his cheek, leaning into his chest.

As I look up I see Raven approaching us with a huge grin on her face. 'It's been a long, long time since I've seen you two cozying up like this. You two lovebirds need a room?'

'I think you should get Jordan a room.' John pointed at him flirting with Delilah, the girl that everyone was celebrating Naming Day for. 'Man, I bet Monty is so proud.'

As I was laughing at the joke, I saw Bellamy and Clarke talking in a serious tone then eventually hugging. I didn't know what they were talking about but my guess was she was apologizing for the billionth time about all the "mistakes" she had made.

Raven stood in front of my view, looking over me with her arms crossed in front of her. She was probably confused, assuming that I was staring at Bellamy for a different reason.

As I looked up and met my eyes with Raven, she shook her head. I continued to stare at her with a straight face, showing her that I didn't care about what he did, more so annoyed about what Clarke was doing. I didn't want to say that aloud, of course.

Besides, I was angry with Bellamy. I didn't give a damn about what he was doing. If he wanted to make amends with Clarke that was going to betray us again, he can knock himself out.

Speaking of the devil, I heard their voice getting closer. Knowing Clarke's voice from miles away, I rolled my eyes as she started to speak to us.

'The ceremony is about to start soon. Don't really know what we're supposed to do but it'll be good for us to attend.'

'Count me out.' I laughed sarcastically, 'You guys can have your fun.'

Clarke rested her hands on her hips, 'We don't want them to think we're being disrespectful right?'

'I don't give a damn about what they think about us. I never agreed to stay here anyways.' I stood up and approached Clarke. 'They were digging into our history, did you ever think to ask them questions as well?'

Bellamy cut in, defending Clarke. 'She's doing the best she can for our people. They've agreed to take us in and because of that, we have a home now.'

'Okay, so where are the rest of our people? Some are still in cryo and stuck in the ship, correct?' I shook my head, 'It's always whatever that's convenient for you. Not us as a whole.'

'Soon enough, we will bring them here. Right now, we just bring whoever can represent us as a whole and look the best we can.'

'Mhm.' I hummed, staring at Clarke as my thoughts went elsewhere. She brought Madi back, having Gaia by her side as she was trained to control the flame in her neck.

She only brought people who were convenient for her, using us as bait to make ourselves look good when in all reality was that we had a ugly history behind us.

Why couldn't she bring Indra? She was smart in these situations, great at communicating and talking with people. Matter of fact, knew how to handle and escape tough situations. Yet she brought Gaia with us; without her mother. Only to use her to benefit her "daughter", Madi.

The fact was that nothing that was coming out of her mouth made sense; if we were safe and welcomed into the family, why couldn't we bring the rest of our people? Why couldn't we start settling into this "wonderful" place if this was our home now?

'Clarke again with the bullshit. How long will it take for you to betray us this time?' A chuckle escaped my mouth. 'I'll be in here, away from these people while I enjoying the booze I haven't had in years.'

'Same here. I'm going to the bar.' Raven didn't bat an eye before she walked away. I followed her to the back, where the bar counter was.

Sitting down as I took a deep breath, I pouring my first shot. 'I probably should just go back to cryo, pretend that none of this is happening.'

'I hear ya. I'll join you if you actually mean it.' John jumped in, sitting next to me as he poured a shot as well.

'Do we really believe this crap? I mean come on, it's so obvious Russell or someone has something on Clarke.' Raven shook her head, taking a sip from her beer that she had before.

'Clearly, he didn't want us near Sanctum and now he's so welcoming. I agree, something is definitely not right.' I knew I sounded paranoid, but given the fact that Russell almost wanted nothing to do with us, it did sound a bit odd.

Raven looked at me with a smirk on her face. 'You want to snoop around? I mean no offense to them but I just don't trust them.'

Murphy raised his brows, 'The perfect Raven Reyes suddenly wants to be bad? Wow.'

'How is this bad? I need to make sure we're not falling into some trap.'

'I'm down for that. Whatever we need to do to keep us safe.' I smiled.

'Do we have to ruin this?' John sighed, 'I mean come on. We're in paradise right now. Let's leave it be for a few days, enjoy ourselves.'

Raven shook her head as she grinned, 'Okay now you're crazy. You want to turn down being bad?'

John nudged Raven, 'Leave me alone. Recently died here.'

I instantly looked over at him, Murphy noticed too because he apologized. 'I-Sorry Y/N. I guess it's just my way of coping. I'm sorry.'

'Yeah, I know.' I sighed, understanding his part but also sensitive to the subject. It hurt to see him like that and the flashbacks just drove me crazy.'

'This is why we need to keep it be, for now. Let's just enjoy this moment. Y/N, when was the last time you were relaxed?' John smiled, 'Let's go on a date, you and me.'

'A date?' I didn't know why but my mind went blank, what is a date exactly?

My whole life I was trapped in a metal box that was floating out of space, the life after that all I knew was fight and survival. I've never in my life never dreamed or even thought of a date. A moment to spend quality time with a significant other.

'What did you sound like that.' John scratched his head. 'I mean if you don-'

'No, no. It's just that, I've never even thought about any of that stuff.' My cheeks got warmer, I could feel myself blushing. 'I'd love to go on a date with you.'

His eyes widened, John's cheeks getting pink as well. Raven giggled, 'You two act like you haven't seen each other naked. Why are you guys shy all of the sudden.'

The joke made everything worse, our cheeks getting redder. I took another shot and then hit my sister, 'Okay stop with that!'

'What? It's true.'

Murphy rolled his eyes as he laughed at Raven, then turned back to me. 'Meet me in front of the staircase tomorrow night. The one that goes up to that palace, okay?'

I nodded, butterflies in my stomach as I was excited. It had been a long time since I've looked forward to something, hell, it had been a long time since I've been genuinely happy.

Bellamy's POV;

She was smiling, so beautifully and so happily. I haven't seen Y/N smile so genuinely since I left her on Earth. Now she was smiling, except I wasn't the reason behind that joy.

Reyes was done with me now, I knew all the reasoning behind it. Everything she had said about me was true; I was a hypocrite, I was a cheater, I was everything she didn't deserve at all.

Of course she left me for Murphy, he was good. He'd done a lot better in the Ring than I ever did. Hell, anyone up there did better.

Now, I deserve what had come to me. The love of my life with another man, me being miserable once again. But I couldn't complain, I deserve this. After hurting Y/N, not pulling her out of the struggle that she had been facing under the bunker.

She had called for help so many times, the silence but loud cries of suffering that I ignored. Not to mention the fact that I've pushed my sister away also; I didn't know why I was behaving the way that I was.

This time, I was alone. Facing these new strangers that we started sharing their spaces with, facing them by myself. No one wanted to be near me but Clarke. I didn't know how I felt about it, considering Y/N had really strong feeling towards her but it was better than nothing.

The fact of the matter was I had to do better, I had to win Reyes back and make her love me again. Go how it used to be, how it was supposed to be when she flew up to the Ring with us.

But I couldn't tell her my secret; Y/N couldn't know about the six years that happened with me while I was up there. She should never know.

#the 100 rewrite #the 100 series #bellamy blake series #bellamy blake x reader #john murphy x reader #raven reyes x sister!reader

53 notes · View notes

freddiefiction · 2 years

Text

Jimercury Advent Calendar (Day 18)

A Catmas Carol 👻

The house was eerily quiet.

It was unusual for the humans to retire to their rooms so early, especially on Christmas Eve; Freddie in particular could stay up for hours, drinking wine and chatting away until the sun was up again. Delilah highly suspected that Jim had something to do with his sudden desire to go to bed. She was never one to eavesdrop, but she had passed by their bedroom enough times to know that the couple engaged in plenty of bizarre mating rituals.

(She had no idea whether male humans had spikes on their privates like tomcats, but if they did, her heart went out to poor Freddie.)

It had been a less than desirable day for the self-appointed princess of Garden Lodge. She had yet again fallen out of favour with her less than loyal subjects, after deliberately picking a fight with Romeo, then running to her fathers for protection when the others ganged up on her. Miko, ever the voice of reason, had decided she’d had enough of her spoilt sister’s behaviour and washed her paws of her, the others following suit.

‘You’re the most selfish cat that’s ever lived, Delilah!’ The tortoiseshell’s words still echoed in her brain. ‘You have no compassion for anybody else! If you carry on this way, you’ll die a miserable, lonely old moggie with no one to love you.’

An absurd statement, of course. No matter how resentful her fellow cats grew of her, Delilah knew it was impossible for her to ever lose the affections of her beloved Freddie and Jim. Humans were delightfully easy to please and she needn’t do any more than rub herself against their ankles or roll over onto her back to show off her belly to appease them. As far as she was concerned, the approval of her parents was all that mattered. She couldn’t help it if she happened to be the favourite child.

As the clock in the hallway neared midnight, Delilah yawned and stretched out in her basket, pretending that she didn’t miss the comforting warmth of Goliath and Miko lying beside her. The others had made a point of all sleeping together in the conservatory, as far away from her royal highness as possible, but Delilah was able to convince herself that she didn’t care. If they wanted to be petty and stubborn, so be it. It wasn’t going to ruin her Christmas.

She kneaded her paws against the soft padding in the basket and curled up to fall asleep.

The gentle tinkling of a bell roused Delilah from her dreams about chasing rabbit-sized mice and she blinked open sleepy yellow eyes, only to find the hallway deserted as it had been when she first settled down in her basket. And yet, she could definitely hear a bell somewhere in the distance, the sort that humans tied to cat collars for God knows what reason.

The hair on her back immediately stood up. None of the cats in Garden Lodge wore collars; Freddie never really saw the point in them, given that they spent half their lives clambering through bushes and would likely just lose them anyway. So, whoever this bell belonged to, they were trespassing on her turf, and she wasn’t about to take that lying down.

Delilah leapt out of her basket and crept towards the staircase where the noise was coming from, her velvet paws silent against the carpet as she made her way up to the landing. The door to one of the guest rooms was open just a crack and the sound of the bell grew louder as she stalked over and carefully squeezed her way through the gap. The moment she set foot in the room she froze on the spot.

A small calico was sitting on one of the armchairs by the window, the moonlight shining against their patched white fur as they delicately cleaned their paws. They didn’t appear to notice Delilah’s entrance, nor did they react when she gave a low, threatening hiss. They just sat there, licking their paw, and rubbing it behind their ear, before repeating the process over and over. Having failed to scare off the intruder with a warning, Delilah decided on a more direct approach.

‘What are you doing in my house?’ She growled, advancing on the smaller cat, using her size to her advantage. ‘You better get out of here before I make you. If my father finds out a dirty stray has been stinking up his guest room, he’ll be furious.’

The calico finally paused in their grooming and regarded Delilah with a calm, inquisitive stare. The air in the room suddenly turned ice cold.

‘We both know that’s not true.’ They replied in a silky voice. ‘Freddie would take in all of London’s strays if it were possible.’

Delilah felt her hackles go up immediately. How on earth did this random cat know her father’s name? Her shock quickly turned to anger, and she decided she’d had enough. She charged at the stranger, teeth bared and claws out; but in the blink of an eye, the creature vanished, and Delilah crashed into an empty chair.

‘You’re wasting your time.’ That same voice appeared again, and Delilah whipped round to see the calico now sitting on the bed. ‘You can’t catch the wind, my friend.’

Delilah looked as though she had been struck by an electric wire, her fur sticking straight up, her ears flat against her skull. ‘What the fuck are you?!’

‘You don’t know me, Delilah.’ The calico replied calmly. ‘I came into Freddie’s life a long time before you did. My name is Jerry, the cat of Christmas Past.’

The name was oddly familiar. Delilah knew little about the cats that came before Garden Lodge, but she could vaguely remember Freddie mentioning a pair called Tom and Jerry, his “first babies” as he called them. But they had passed away years ago. How on earth could-?

Delilah felt her entire body begin to shake uncontrollably. ‘You’re…you’re a…’

‘A ghost?’ Jerry gave her an amused look, tail flicking back and forth. ‘It’s alright, you’re allowed to say it.’

‘But why are you here?’ Delilah asked, frozen in place. ‘You lived with that blonde woman, go and haunt her.’

‘I’m not here to haunt anyone, Delilah.’ Replied Jerry. ‘I’m here to remind you of the cat you once were, before you became so greedy and self-centred. Come with me now and let me show you.’

Before Delilah could even ask what she meant, the room suddenly began to spin. When her vision finally adjusted, she realised she was in the lounge, except the lights were on and people were bustling around her, drinking, and chatting and exchanging gifts. For a moment, she wondered if it had all just been a crazy dream and she’d slept right on through to Christmas Day; but when she caught sight of Freddie sitting on the couch, she noticed he was fussing over two little kittens in his arms, one black, the other white with patches.

‘It’s alright. Nobody can see you.’ Jerry’s voice suddenly murmured into her ear. ‘Does that little one look familiar?’

‘That’s me.’

Jerry nodded. ‘Your first Christmas. Freddie couldn’t wait to show you off to all his friends. He’s always had a soft spot for calicos, and he thought you were the most beautiful kitten he had ever seen.’

Delilah watched as her younger self scampered around the lounge with Goliath, the two of them rolling around, pouncing on each other, even taking it in turns to see who could annoy Oscar the most by grabbing hold of his tail (much to his displeasure.) She could hardly remember the last time she and her brother had played together; these days they could hardly be in the same room without having a scrap.

‘See how happy you were?’ Jerry continued. ‘No fighting, no competing; just two kittens having fun together on Christmas Day. Just the way it should be.’

Delilah remembered. It had been years, but she could still recall that joyful, carefree feeling of being a kitten; your only cares in the world being that of jumping and playing or bothering any cats bigger than you. Life was so simple back then.

‘I want you to remember this moment.’ Jerry was suddenly in front of her, the little bell around her neck jingling softly. ‘Remember how good it felt to love and be loved. I have to go now, but you’ll have a new visitor soon. It was a pleasure to meet you, Delilah.’

In a flash, Jerry was gone, and Delilah was standing in the darkened hallway again, the only sound to be heard being that of the clock ticking ominously in the background. The last time she remembered ever feeling afraid within the walls of Garden Lodge was when she first arrived as a tiny kitten; she found that fear resurfacing, as the house suddenly felt sinisterly empty, as if she was the only living soul that remained.

It had all been a dream, she decided. Any sensible cat knows that ghosts aren’t real, and she felt ridiculous for even considering such a thing to be true. She decided to have a prowl around the garden to clear her head, maybe catch a few mice to leave on the doorstep to remind her dads about the ins-and-outs of proper hunting. She jogged down the hall to the kitchen and squeezed through the cat flap, stepping out onto the frost covered grass and sniffing the air.

As she made her way down the lawn, she noticed a shape in the darkness. It was sitting up on the wall surrounding the house, so silent and still that it was almost invisible. Her hackles went up on instinct but when she was directly below the silhouette, she found she recognised the grey-and-white fur and the long, plush tail flicking to and fro.

‘Tiffany?’

Delilah immediately scaled up the wall to get a closer look, just to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. But there was no mistake; the Himalayan was there, gazing up at the night sky with a look of peace on her face that had never graced her during life. She turned her head as Delilah cautiously approached her, sapphire eyes twinkling in the moonlight.

‘Hello, dear.’

Delilah’s legs began to shake, and she steadied herself before he fell off the wall altogether. She poked Tiffany with her paw, just to make sure she was real, and when she felt the soft fur against her pads, she let out a cry and nuzzled the Himalayan desperately.

‘Tiffany…’ Her voice trembled, overwhelmed with so many emotions at once as she embraced the old cat. ‘Mummy…it’s really you.’

‘Of course it’s me, dear.’ Tiffany replied, licking the calico between the ears the way she did when Delilah was a kitten. ‘You didn’t think I’d just up and leave without saying goodbye, did you? You can’t get rid of me that easily.’

‘I miss you so much, Mummy.’ Delilah whined, ears drooping. ‘Why did you have to go? It was too soon. It wasn’t fair.’

‘I know, darling. I didn’t want to leave you, any of you. It was simply my time. Unfortunately, we don’t get a choice in how or when we leave; it just happens.’

Delilah’s heart ached at the memory of Tiffany’s passing. She and Miko would often visit the little flower bed outside the dining room window where she was buried, either to pay their respects or simply have a conversation with the cat who had been their mother in all but blood. It was reassuring (and slightly disturbing) to know that Tiffany might have been able to hear them.

‘Alas, I didn’t come for a social call, dear.’ Tiffany stood up, stretching out her beautiful tail. ‘I’ve noticed that you’ve been having a bit of trouble with your brothers and sisters lately. I’m here as the cat of Christmas Present.’

Delilah huffed, sitting back on her heels. ‘It’s not my fault, Mummy. They’re all being beastly to me because they’re jealous! I hate them, I hate them all!’

‘Delilah.’ Tiffany gave her a disapproving look, one that always used to make her squirm. ‘I think we both know that’s not strictly true. I’ve known you before you could use a litter box, young lady; do you think it’s possible that your behaviour could be the cause of their resentment?’

The calico’s ears flopped back shamefully, and she lowered her head. ‘Perhaps…’

Satisfied with this answer, Tiffany murmured, ‘follow me,’ and hopped down from the wall.

Delilah followed her across the garden until they reached the conservatory, whereupon Tiffany jumped onto the windowsill and instantly walked through the glass like a wisp of smoking disappearing in the wind. Delilah hesitated and lifted her paw, expecting to feel a cold surface, but to her shock it passed through as if she was touching water; she took the plunge and pushed her way through the glass, landing next to Tiffany on the other side. The Himalayan motioned to the four cats lying on the loveseat nearby; Romeo and Lily were fast asleep, curled up to each other as always, while Goliath and Miko watched them from close by.

‘Maybe I should go and check on her.’ Miko said quietly, so as not to disturb the sleeping kits. ‘I know she’s a handful, but no one should be alone on Christmas Eve.’

‘She’s made her bed, Miko.’ Replied Goliath. ‘If we keep giving in to her demands, she’ll never change. I’m tired of her walking all over everyone, thinking she can treat us however she wants.’

‘I know, I know.’ Miko sighed, dropping her head between her paws. ‘But she’s our sister. She’s a stubborn, spoiled brat but I love her.’

‘I love her too. I’m always going to love her. But we need to draw the line somewhere.’

Guilt wasn’t a familiar feeling to Delilah, but right then she felt sick with it. She took a step forward to say something but quickly remembered they couldn’t see or hear her, and she sat back down again in defeat.

‘They don’t hate you, sweetheart.’ Tiffany said with a purr, which always calmed them down as children. ‘Your brothers and sisters are always going to love you, no matter what. You can’t spend your entire life blaming others for your shortcomings, Delilah. You’re a big girl now; you need to take some responsibility.’

She was right, of course. Tiffany was always right. Delilah looked over at her four siblings and realised just how much she needed them in her life; as irritating as they could be at times, they were her family, and nothing could ever replace them. She felt disgusted at herself for being so dismissive of their feelings.

Something changed in the air and Delilah felt her chest go tight. She turned and nuzzled her face into Tiffany’s soft fur again; it always made her feel so warm and safe, and she wasn’t sure how she was going to cope never feeling it again.

‘I don’t want you to go.’ She whispered.

‘I know, my darling.’ Tiffany replied. ‘But I’m always going to be with you. I’m in the grass you walk on, the trees you climb, every flower that you sniff. And I love you so much.’

‘I love you too, Mummy.’

She knew what was coming but she didn’t want to look. Delilah closed her eyes as the world around her changed and when she opened them again, Tiffany was gone, and she was back in the hallway. At times like this, she wished cats could cry like humans did; while it was distressing to watch, there always seemed to be a sense of relief after it was over and would usually end with a comforting hug or words of love. The calico settled for the next best thing; she curled up in her basket and meowed mournfully until exhaustion overcame her and she fell asleep.

‘Delilah?’

‘Bugger off.’ Delilah mumbled forthwith. She’d had just about enough ghosts for one night.

‘Delilah, you have to get up.’

The calico reluctantly opened her eyes and saw a little grey kitten sitting by her basket, a red ribbon tied delicately around his neck, so he looked like a wrapped gift. ‘Who are you?’

‘I’m the cat of Christmas Yet to Come.’

‘Of course you are.’

Their surroundings appeared unchanged, though it had to be morning as light filtered in through the windows. Delilah’s mind immediately turned to her siblings sleeping in the conservatory and she sprang to her feet to rush down the hallway, the grey kitten jogging after her.

‘Delilah, wait-’

‘Leave me alone!’ Delilah snapped. ‘I need to see the others!’

‘They’re not here, Delilah.’

When Delilah reached the conservatory, she skidded to a halt when she discovered it was scarce of any cats; Freddie and Jim were sitting on the loveseat, Jim’s arm wrapped around Freddie’s shoulder as the smaller man held a photo frame in trembling hands. The pair looked significantly older, their hair grey and skin sagging, as if they had suddenly aged a hundred years. The moment she saw them, Delilah instinctively approached, tail raised in greeting as she nuzzled Freddie’s shin, but he didn’t even glance at her.

‘I can’t believe she’s gone.’ Freddie sounded like he was on the verge of tears as he held the frame close to him, hugging it to his chest. ‘Why did they all leave, Jim? I could understand with Oscar, and maybe even Goliath. But Romeo, Lily and Miko too? What did I do wrong? God, this is the worst fucking Christmas ever.’

Delilah’s blood ran cold. She desperately rubbed herself against Freddie’s leg, but it were as if he couldn’t even see her. Then she realised – he couldn’t.

‘You did nothing wrong, love.’ Replied Jim, gently kissing Freddie’s forehead. ‘Cats are complicated. Sometimes they just decide they’ve had enough and move on. You looked after them like they were your own biological children; don’t blame yourself.’

Freddie sighed and set the photograph down on the coffee table; it was only then that Delilah realised it was a picture of Miko, sprawled out on the front lawn with all four paws in the air, Jim’s hand in the shot as he rubbed her tummy.

‘They’re gone?’ She turned to the grey kitten, who was sitting calmly nearby. ‘What happened? Where did they go?’

‘Not sure.’ Replied the kitten rather curtly. ‘I think Goliath ended up with one of the neighbours, but the others have disappeared completely.’

‘This is their home. Why on earth would they leave?’

‘Why do you think? No one wants to leave with a mean, vindictive cat who always sees herself as the victim. In the end, they got tired of it and left Garden Lodge. As you can see, your humans are absolutely devastated.’

Before Delilah could respond, she saw a scrawny, miserable looking cat slouch into the room and jump onto the loveseat beside Jim, nudging his arm with its head. Jim reached down and stroked its matted fur, his touch feather light as if he were afraid it might break in two if he applied too much pressure.

‘At least we still have our little princess.’ The Irishman said. ‘Delilah’s never going to leave us, are you, old girl?’

Delilah was appalled. That ugly, worn-out cat couldn’t possibly be her! But the resemblance was undeniable. She was looking at her future self. It felt as though she had stepped into a nightmare.

‘She’s on her last legs.’ A tear spilled from Freddie’s eye, staining his cheek. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes. I’ll have no more babies left.’ Another tear fell, splashing against his jeans. ‘I told you, Jim, everyone leaves me. Even the bloody cats.’

Seeing Freddie in so much pain hurt Delilah to the core. All she wanted to do was rush over to him and jump onto his lap for a cuddle. But that wasn’t possible, thanks to this stupid ghost body she appeared to be trapped in.

‘I thought you’d be happy.’ Said the grey kitten. ‘Without the others, all the attention will be solely on you. Isn’t that what you wanted?’

‘I want my family back!’ Delilah wailed, unable to watch her parents suffer any longer. ‘You said this is Christmas yet to come. That means I can change things, right? I can stop this from happening?’

The kitten said nothing. He turned and began walking down the hall, which suddenly seemed to stretch on for miles like a giant, black tunnel.

‘Spirit!’ Delilah screamed, trying to run after him but finding her feet were unable to move. ‘Spirit, I’ll change! I swear, I will!’

There was no response. Delilah could only watch as the kitten disappeared from view, before the darkness closed in around her, swallowing her whole.

‘Delilah? Delilah, wake up!’

The calico’s eyes flew open, and she discovered she had tangled herself up in the blanket from her basket, the fabric wrapped around her so tightly she could barely breathe. She wriggled herself free and came face to face with Miko, who was staring at her with great concern. The house around them had returned to normal, the grandfathers clock ticking away in the background.

10:30 in the morning. She was back. She had been given a second chance.

‘What on earth happened?’ Miko asked. ‘You were crying and struggling in your sleep. Did you have a bad-?’

She was cut off as Delilah immediately began licking every inch of her face, grooming between her ears and each of her furry cheeks until the tortoiseshell was certain she wouldn’t need to bathe for a week.

‘Delilah? What’s gotten into you? Have you lost your mind?’

‘I’m sorry.’ The calico mumbled between licks. ‘I’m so, so sorry for everything Miko. You’re right, I’m a spoiled brat and you have every right to hate me. I’ll change, Miko, I promise I will. I don’t want to be that sort of cat anymore.’

Miko looked slightly hesitant, but such a sudden and genuine display of affection must have been enough to convince her. ‘I’m glad to hear you say that, Delilah. I’m not going to lie; your behaviour recently has really upset us. But if you’re willing to change, I believe you. The others might need some more convincing, but I’ve got your back. Now, come on, let’s go and clear the air. It’s Christmas Day and there’s to be no fighting.’

‘There won’t be, cross my heart.’ Delilah beamed as she followed her sister to the conservatory. ‘Oh Miko, I have so much to tell you. You won’t believe the night I’ve had!’

#jimercury #jimcury #jimercury fanfiction #jimercury advent calendar 2021 #my writing #she's a killer queue

7 notes · View notes

laur-rants · 3 years

Text

Schrodinger’s Game Theory: The Fate of Daud

Ever come up with a theory, and then halfway through creating it, the evidence changes and so you’re stuck with a lot of well-put-together ideas but nowhere to go with it?

Anyway, I did that with Daud. Lol.

I just rediscovered a whole ass rant in my drafts (which is now in the link above for private viewing and judgement PLS read it, if you’re missing some context to this post) that I clearly spent a lot of time and energy on, where I came to the conclusion that Daud in Death of the Outsider is actually a imposter/doppelganger, and it was because of the writing from the book contrasted the writing in DotO so poorly, that I came to believe this. I was like, VERY convinced prior to Billie’s book coming out that this was, in fact, a viable game theory. !00%. There was a chance that out there, somewhere, Daud was still stuck in his mind, and needed someone to come rescue him. Stranger things have happened to explain characters coming back from the dead in a video game, okay?

Somewhere along the line, though, it stopped being game theory and was more like, a fan idea. I had collected enough evidence to come to the conclusion that my theory wasn’t sound. That, and Billie’s book released, and there’s no way I could argue that. Instead, imposter!Daud moved to Fan Theory, something I could fictionally, write about, put into an AU.

But... Just because it’s probably not true in the scheme of the game doesn’t stop me from thinking about it, from wanting to talk and share those ideas with others. Even if, at the end of the day, they hold no water and it wouldn't matter because, well. If Billie’s book is to be considered post-DotO canon, then there’s no reason to believe my theory would hold weight. It wouldnt matter, because Daud well, he was left for dead either way. Nobody was coming to rescue him. I’m sure there’s plenty of questions people have in response to this, the most chief one being

“If its not Daud how is he in the Void talking to the Outsider and Billie at the end of DotO??”

And my usual response is: the end of Return of Daud saw Daud becoming trapped within his own mind, through a trap laid by witches from the very beginning of the book. That meant, even if his physical body was still, well, physical, he was trapped inside his mind.

I proposed that out of survival, well, a sliver of his mind would hole itself up in the Void, maybe even be stuck there (this is not so uncommon as it appears; think of what happened to Jessamine in the Heart). Once the spell on his mind and the Outsider were gone, the sliver could return back to his mind. And he’d still be alive.

From a gamer perspective, looking at the mechanics of the game, and everything else, it makes sense. I’m sure some people would say this theory would ‘cheapen Daud’s death’ and I would refute that by simply saying ‘all of DotO cheapened Daud’s death, and despite being a playable character in the franchise he dies unceremoniously off screen and we just take Billie’s word for his death to heart.’ Nothing cheapens a death faster in my head than ‘time to renege on this character’s entire past arch and have him die off-screen.’ His death was ruined far before they went into the Void. If anything, this would give Daud a change to explain himself.

But I digress. I actually did do a stupid amount of research on this. And what it all really boils down to is that there was bad writing involved in DotO when it came to timeline consistency and quality checkers not checking for that, + the book having been rewritten like, twice, to keep up with what Arkane was changing in DotO in real time.

That’s post marked 9/25/18. I’ve had this theory sitting around for a long time. I enjoyed it. I find it compelling. But ultimately, it was me trying to save Daud, in my mind. Would it be cool for the witches to have stolen Daud, replaced him with a dummy body Eyeless/Envisioned, given that dummy body his memories, and then, when it had outlived it’s usefulness of sending Billie astray, the magic broke and it perished? Hell yeah it would have been cool. and honestly, according to the books, it was a viable option! They could do all those things. You can’t tell me that

Billie can steal faces,

Emily can create copies and

They witches had access to a gemstone that can make prisoners of their own mind/see the thoughts of others,

and NOT immediately think that they’d try and replicate one of the strongest Marked to ever live. The one that TRAPPED DELILAH, no less. And because the witches messed with Daud’s dreams at the beginning of the book (it’s subtle, but its there, its like, you see it on the reread sort of thing), that’s the whole reason he thinks the Outsider is supposed to die, so of course the double would fervently believe the singular obsession that brought Daud into a trap in the first place...

I’m digressing again. Anyway.

What does this mean for Dear old Daud?

It means Daud canonically died, and it was shitty and poorly written and I’ll be salty about that until the day I die because some schmuck on twitter wrote one singular essay and Harvey Smith decided ‘you. you’re the one who needs to write this story’ and then we got Corvosider fanfic in a Dishonored game and I wanted to die. It doesn’t help that this writer was notoriously pretentious and shit-stirring in the fandom at-large BEFORE their hiring-- anyway, this isn’t a salt piece on that. I AM SALTY ABOUT IT, but I’m not the person to discuss it at length. Just know that that’s why some of the narrative decisions in DotO are so out of fucking whack, and we all have to deal with it.

MOVING ON....

There is still... a very slim chance. To save Daud.

Realistically speaking, this chance will never occur. It’s clear and obvious that Arkane has no plans on returning to the Dishonored universe, so despite all these loose ends that Arkane left and all these pieces that need to be picked up and all this lore that’s been reneged on, there’s really not much of a chance that we’ll see, say, Billie, return in a game that is specifically designed to save the timelines. Which, honestly, would be fucking baller. I want a game where I play as Billie, where the shattered timespace of Dunwall is saved by her capable hand, and Emily is free to rule for decades without having to fear that the Isles will fall into the Void like it’s Deimos falling into Hell in DOOM. We KNOW the timelines are saved because we KNOW that Emily has a long and Just (or unjust, if you went high chaos lol) Rule over the kingdom. That can’t happen if, just three years down the line, Billy is running all over the place trying to make sure time doesn’t break at the seams.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Because of how Daud meets Billie in RoD, we know that a Billie three years into the future (’YOUR future,’ she tells him) is trying to save his life. There are other timelines she’s saved already, for sure. Including saving Daud in the past, saving Corvo and Emily in the past, saving Granny Rags in the past -- basically, saving all the Marked from coming to an untimely end. And then, after all that, she goes back in time and tries to save Daud, tries to save him from being poisoned by witch magic and falling into a trap that is triggered when he touches her Future version of the Twin-bladed Knife. She goes through a sort of Groundhog Day scenario, where she confesses that she’s tried hundreds of times to save him, and she couldn’t save that Daud.

But why show us Billie failing to save Daud, if she was destined for failure? Because, eventually, she must succeed.

And therein lies Daud’s (potential) salvation. Is it realizing the other Daud is an imposter? Well... let’s think of it this way. Is the Billie who regained her arm and eye an ‘imposter’ where the ‘real’ Billie is in a timeline where she lost those body parts? Is the Aramis Stilton who went mad in the basement of his mansion the imposter? Or is it the one that Emily saved and was able to keep lucid? These people aren’t ‘imposters’ to their timelines, but they kind of are to the timelines that are saved. Which means DotO could be an entirely separate ‘timeline’, one that we manage to play through and see the ending of. But the ‘true timeline’ may never be known. But at least, we know it happens, and we have Billie to thank for that.

FIN.

77 notes · View notes

demisexualemmaswan · 3 years

Text

heal over (1/1)

Summary: "Her heart seemed to slam against her chest as if trying to escape. The world tunneled in around her and she could barely draw breath." Cassandra has a panic attack and doubts her ability to recover after all she's been through. Her family certainly has no doubts on the matter and is more than happy to help her through it while she catches up. A/N: Hi! This is my first piece of Critical Role fanfiction! I initially had this idea about Percy and Cassandra talking bout like...Cassandra caring for baby Vesper if anything happened to him and Vex and I started this piece with that in mind, and then Cass had a panic attack and 3000 words later I ended up here and very far away from my original idea. But I will be definitely writing that one if we enjoy this one. Thanks for reading!

[Read on Ao3]

It had become a ritual at night, to seek out her brother and his wife before she laid down in bed. For whatever reason, it had helped Cassandra to check on her family to know that they were still there, and they hadn’t taken off, that they hadn’t died yet again… Tears stinging her eyes as she inexplicably remembered her brother needing to be resurrected, Cassandra sped to the room her brother and sister-in-law. His screams still rung in her ears from being tortured by Ripley, and her breaths quickened.

The door was open, which means that they wouldn’t mind company, which gave her some relief. Her brother had promised to take care of her, promised to help her, and she trusted him implicitly. He understood the darkness, the hurt that came with everything that had happened. He had seen the darkness inside himself, fought it and won.

And it gave her some hope that she was not as irredeemable as she’d feared. After all, she’d nearly betrayed him and still he loved her as fiercely as he loved. Percy had always loved a little recklessly, in the sense that he used that weapon of his. His confidence, his faith in his skills—or in this case the love in his life—always allowed him to be a little reckless.

And he had died several times because of it.

What if he’s gone now? What if he’s left you all alone, to the cruelty of the world again? a cruel voice sounded in her mind, sounded too much like Delilah Briarwood. Clinging to the doorframe, she all but swung into their room, unable to hold back the wild look in her eyes. Vex’ahlia was curled up by the fire, curled up with Trinket. Her hands gently stroked the small swell of her stomach, a small smile gracing her lips. Logically, Cassandra knew that if Vex was smiling so calmly that there was no reason for anything to be wrong. But Percy was nowhere to be found.

And her fear seemed to kick into overdrive. Her heart seemed to slam against her chest as if trying to escape. The world tunneled in around her and she could barely draw breath. “Where’s Percy?” Oh, Pelor help her…why was her voice shaking so badly? Were her hands still shaking? “Vex…where’s Percy?” The world seemed to narrow even further in around her.

Oh gods, was Percy gone? Had she lost another family member?

The bear looked up and made a curious noise, drawing Vex’s attention to Cassandra. “Darling?” she asked worriedly. “Are you all right?” Before Cassandra could draw another breath, Vex was on her feet and approaching her. “Cassandra, darling?” Vex coaxed gently. “Can I hold your hands?”

Vex was tactile. Vex liked to touch. Vex’s touch was friendly.

The touch was something Cassandra was getting used to, but she knew wouldn’t hurt. Not like the Briarwood’s.

Pursing her lips together, Cassandra nodded. Vex immediately threaded their fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Breathe in,” Vex commanded softly on the squeeze. “You’re all right. You’re safe here. I’ve got you.”

Cassandra, tears running down her cheeks, breathed in. If her brother wasn’t there to catch her, Vex—her sister—could be counted on to catch her. She gave Vex the tiniest of nods to show that she was there, fighting to come back.

Vex squeezed again, still gentle and warm and encouraging. “Breathe out.” Cassandra breathed out. The tremors in her hands were still so strong but Vex was here. Vex would make it all right. The world was coming more into focus bit by bit.

“Good. You’re doing so well,” Vex praised warmly, giving Cassandra the warmest and gentlest of smiles. “I’m going to keep squeezing. You breathe in on the first squeeze. Breathe out on the second squeeze. Can you do that for me?”

Cassandra nodded, still lost for words for the moment. Her lip still trembled as she couldn’t find Percy, was he safe, oh god did the Briarwoods—

“It’s all right,” Vex murmured, bringing Cassandra back in the moment. “The Briarwoods are gone and can’t hurt you. Vecna is gone and can’t hurt you. You’re safe. I’m safe. Percival is safe.” Her thumbs gently stroked Cassandra’s hands. “Your niece is safe.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened. The prospect of life in the castle, in their lives, took her breath away, but not in a way that was frightening or overwhelming. “Niece?” she choked out, her eyes filling with happy tears this time. “I… are you sure? Does Percy know?” Vex’ahlia laughed, a warm sound settling in Cassandra’s chest in a way that opened it, allowing her to breathe easier. “I don’t know for sure,” she admitted, holding onto Vex’s hands tightly still, as if the world could spiral away if she let go. “It’s just a feeling. But I was sitting here thinking of what I wanted to name her just now when you came in…he’s…” The overwhelming affection that Vex had for Percy practically permeated the room as she smiled down at the floor. “He’s taken to calling her his ‘little darling’. So I think he thinks it’s a girl as well.” She squeezed Cassandra’s hands again. “She’s not even born yet and he absolutely dotes on her. I know that your family didn’t hug so much growing up but…I think he’ll be different. My father was not a particularly decent father…at least not to me.”

“But Percy…he’s so committed to being the best he can be. He’s down in his workshop right now. We were talking about the baby, and he was overcome with inspiration and there was something he had to make for her right then and there.” Vex chuckled at Percy’s predictable behavior, her eyes gleamed with the joy that his excitement and eagerness had given her.

Cassandra was suddenly overcome with the memory of their father, though he was not particularly affectionate, sitting by the fire reading to small children at his feet. An advisor tried to get his attention, but Frederick waved them off.

“It can wait until the children are asleep,” Frederick had insisted.

“Cassandra?” Vex’s voice brought her back to the present yet again. A hand gentle cupped her cheek to brush away a few stray tears that had fallen.

“A girl,” Cassandra whispered breathlessly, meeting Vex’s gaze. “That’s so wonderful, Vex’ahlia.”

It was so wonderful, truly. For the first time, life was returning to Whitestone Castle. There would be laughter, giggling down the hall, sweets and games…

And by god, child, you are so full of anger. And darkness. You’ve hurt Percy. You’ve hurt her. Who’s to say that you won’t hurt the child? You don’t deserve this ending. A voice that sounded like Sylas’s this time rang through her head, and she shifted nervously from foot to foot, tearing her gaze away from Vex’s.

The Briarwoods were dead, but certainly the memory of them could not be easily buried. She felt like her darkness could corrupt them, the way the Briarwoods had corrupted her. She was so terrified, all the time, of her anger and frustration and how it could ruin the happiness her brother had worked so hard to build for himself.

“I…it’s fine, really,” Cassandra said, even though they both knew she was lying. “I just…don’t feel like I’m worthy of being this happy. That’s all.”

Vex’s eyes flooded with understanding. “Cassandra?” she asked gently. “I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder. And I’m going to walk down with you to Percy’s workshop. Trinket and I won’t let anything hurt you, will we, Trinket?” Trinket let out a grunt of affirmation and gently nuzzled Cassandra’s side.

Cassandra drew into herself, her shoulders coming up in a feeble effort to protect herself. “I don’t think I’ll ever deserve it.”

“I know.” Vex’s voice broke a little bit and her eyes flashed with understanding. “I know and Percival knows.” She squeezed Cassandra’s shoulder. “And we’re here to help you. We both love you…so much more than we can say.” She pulled Cassandra in for the lightest and gentlest of hugs before asking, “Would you like me to bring you to Percy now?” Cassandra could barely speak around the lump in her throat, but she nodded against Vex’s shoulder with her lips pursed together, as if that could keep all of her feelings inside.

Vex pulled back and gently took her hand and began to walk down to Percy’s workshop. The path was familiar to both women, as it was arguably Percy’s favorite place in the entire castle. Even Trinket seemed to have an innate sense of where they were going, expertly maneuvering around the narrower spots in the hallway.

With as much confidence as Cassandra only supposed her sister-in-law could muster, Vex stood in front of the locked door and knocked. “Percival,” she said softly.

She knew her brother dearly loved his wife, but she had not had the benefit of seeing how attuned they were to each other until he flung the door wide open, his eyes wide with his own panic. His eyes desperately searched Vex, looking for some injury that he could fix. “Is everything all right? You…the baby…?” Vex stepped in closer to her husband and gently wrapped herself around him. She watched as her brother took a deep breath before nuzzling the top of his wife’s head, pulling her tightly against him. It took another nuzzle from Vex for Percy’s shoulders to slump all the way down, and he let her go with a tender look. He gently cupped her face in one hand and she kissed his palm before pressing their foreheads together.

He smiled brightly knowing she was all right and he quickly kissed the tip of her nose, chuckling softly when she giggled.

The effortless way that they communicated and how they were attuned to one another made an ugly feeling creep up inside Cassandra, which almost immediately made her feel guilty.

It’s not fair that she had the bond of a sibling with her own brother, and now your brother, is it? It was like they were there, goading her, feeding her head with lies just like when they paraded her around and insisted, she could be their daughter. But Cassandra knew it was her own thoughts.

It was an awful thing to think, given that Vax had just died. It was an awful thing to think knowing that Vex still had nightmares, still had days where she wept for her brother. It was an awful thing to think, knowing that all Percy wanted was for the loves of his life—Vex, her, and now the baby—to be safe.

Uselessly curling her hands into fists, she tried to stop herself from feeling all together, but a tiny sniffle escaped her. Both Vex and Percy’s heads snapped toward her, and Percy immediately left his wife’s side to stand before his sister. “Cass.”

The gentle lilt of her brother’s voice was encouraging, and she wanted to give into it and let herself be comforted. But also, surely, he would hate her for the ugly thing she had just thought, wouldn’t he? He opened his arms to her. “Cass. It’s all right,” he told her. “Whatever it is you’re thinking, whatever it is you’re feeling…it’s okay. You can tell me if you’d like, if it would help. Or you don’t have to talk either if it would help. But I’m here. Vex is here. Even Trinket is here if that would help.” She was tempted step forward and let her brother comfort her yet again, but the feeling of unworthiness took hold, and so she resorted to anger, trying to push her brother away even though it was the last thing she wanted.

“You’re here until you leave again,” is what she ended up muttering, her shoulders drawn high again, her fists clenched tightly. She grit her teeth, not wanting to start crying again, but feeling like she didn’t really want to be angry at Percy but not knowing what to do with herself and everything she was feeling. “I’ll just be here in this huge castle by myself with the memory of them and I always feel so alone and defenseless…”

Instead of getting angry at her, which is what she had been kind of been hoping for, Percy looked immediately chagrined. This only amplified the feelings of guilt bubbling up inside her as she looked at her brother.

She was worried about him leaving and hated when he was gone because she never knew if he’d return or not. Most of the time she never resented him for this wanderlust because no matter what he always returned to Whitestone and considered Whitestone—and her—his home.

But she did miss him fiercely when it was gone. It was lonely here.

It was harder to fight the memory of them when he wasn’t here.

“I’m not going to promise I’ll never leave again,” Percy murmured, his arms still open to her. “But I am not going to leave you without tools to fight the memory of them. You are not defenseless. And you are certainly not alone. I love you very much, Cassandra. And even if I’m not here, I am always fighting for you. Fighting with you. And fighting to make sure that Vex and I will both make it back to you.”

A memory of watching her brother stumble through snow and away from her flashed through her mind, and she brought her hand to her mouth to stifle the cry that instinctually escaped her lips.

“Percy…there was so much blood…” “I know.” Percy closed the gap between them immediately, clutching her tightly to his chest and giving the strongest hug that he possibly could. Her whole body relaxed under the deep pressure, and she clung to him tightly, squeezing her eyes shut against the memory. Her breathing was jagged as tried to calm herself down, though the steady thump of Percy’s heart against her ear gave her something to work for.

His hand seemed to soothingly stroke her back as he tucked her protectively against him. “They’re ugly thoughts,” Cassandra finally admitted to her brother. “Sometimes they’re about the what if…sometimes they’re about me and all the things I don’t like…and sometimes, well…you just saw what sometimes they’re like.” “Well, you are a de Rolo and we are very much alike,” Percy teased her softly, but his voice was heavy. Burying his face against her hair, he admitted, “I know the feelings…all of those feelings quite intimately, Cass. And I would be lying if I said that I don’t experience them too. Because I do. And every time I have one of those thoughts, I make the choice to fight it. My fight isn’t over either.” “But what if I fail?” Cassandra asked quietly. Though this was one of her fears, this time her voice was steady as she shared her burden with her family. “What if I can’t fight the thoughts and the memories? What if I disappoint you both?” “You’ll never disappoint us,” Vex promised, wrapping her arms around both of the de Rolo siblings. “And if you fail to fight the thoughts, come find us. Just like you did today. And we’ll help build up your strength until you’re ready to fight them yourself. And we’re more than happy to fight those worser instincts with you. Goodness knows that we’ve all had our fair share.” Trinket, not wanting to be left out, gently nuzzled Cassandra’s hip. His cold, wet nose brushed along her stomach through her nightgown and Cassandra couldn’t help but let out the smallest of laughs. Laughing felt like such a brave choice, and she let herself hold onto the feeling for just a moment longer. But then her confidence wavered, and she whispered, “What if I’m not as strong as you?” “Nonsense,” Percy refuted immediately, as was his way. “You are…so much stronger than I ever could be, Cassandra. And for us much as you want to make me proud, I can only hope that I will someday be a brother who is worthy of having a sister like you.”

“I’m already worthy of her,” Vex teased, but her voice was a little choked too. Cassandra let herself both laugh and smile this time as she stayed wedged in between the two of them. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Vex smile proudly at her.

“Besides,” Percy replied. “Our daughter…she’s going to need her aunt. When she’s too frustrated with us, you’re the one she’s going to turn to for advice. You’re going to be the one she looks up to. I consider myself so blessed as a father that she’ll have you and her mother to help her become an incredible person. And I want her to turn to you when she needs you.” He kissed the top of her head before adding, “But she is going to need her Aunt Cassandra here.”

“I’ll do my best,” Cassandra promised softly. “Good,” Vex murmured. “That’s all we can ever ask for. I mean, we brought your brother back after he made a deal with a smoke demon, so by all accounts you’re doing much better in the whole ‘dealing with your feelings about the past’ thing.” The tips of Percy’s ears turned red and he huffed impatiently, “Scanlan still hasn’t paid for a new gun, by the way.”

“Darling, you’re the Lord of Whitestone, I’m fairly sure you can just fund your own research…”

The playful bickering between her brother and his wife settled over her, in the way that a warm blanket or a nice cup of tea would. Letting her eyes flutter close, she didn’t see Percy in the snow or the Briarwoods lurking around the corner. In fact, she didn’t see anything, just let herself smile as she kept herself in the present, listening to her two favorite people in the whole world indulge in their home with their arms still wrapped protectively around her.

#blaire's writing #critical role fanfiction #cassandra de rolo #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia

19 notes · View notes