#or the ones who are obviously suffering and never have enough food or live on the street etc are clearly spending it all on drugs

[jahayla-parker]

💭Headcanon: send in a character and a scenario or type of reader to get a bullet point list of thoughts on it.

okay okay, kaz brekker x sister!reader

Kaz Brekker's Sister Headcannons

I feel like his sister would be the youngest (born after both Jordie and Kaz). 'Cause part of his trauma is being afraid to rely on someone older who he thought would take care of him.

Running with that thought, Kaz would take that ^^^ type of role towards his sister very seriously. He vowed he wouldn’t let her down the way Jordie let him down (don’t come for me! His internal thoughts mention this frustration in the books so it’s canon).

We know Kaz is obviously very protective over those he cares about, which would undoubtedly extend to his sister. But, his role as the older brother added to that. And his disappointment and anger towards Jordie’s role in what happened ask those years ago, added to that as well; he wasn’t going to do that to his sister.

Although, he knew it wasn’t something he could prevent. Since it already happened to her once; the same day it happened to him. Jordie was her older brother as well. But Kaz nevertheless vowed to never let her down.

Kaz vowed to never make her have to worry about or even question having a roof over her head, a warm room to sleep in, food , etc.

He kept a healer on hand should she get sick ever (even so much as a cold). He wasn’t taking any chances. While he refused to let healers touch him he required it for her wellbeing.

She never had to worry about her safety. He’d taught her how to defend herself, how to fight, kill, etc.

He kept her from having to experience the financial difficulties he was old enough to experience due to Jordie’s deal with Rollins and as they aged, he made sure it stayed that way now that she was old enough to be able to know if that was the case as he made sure they always had enough funds saved up and the means to get more some should it be needed.

Kaz would’ve been so upset when his sister became ill, to the point it inadvertently made himself much sicker from stress.

Kaz tried to do whatever he could to get her feeling better, giving any scraps of sustenance to her instead of taking his portion/share and using their only blanket to cover more of her body by not covering any of his.

It would only have driven his anger against Pekka even further because he not only lost his older brother, he almost lost his little sister and he watched her suffer the loss of jordie as well

Given she was so young (given the age gap between Jordie and Kaz at the time of incident, I’m assuming she’s roughly 7 ish), it was a lot to process and try to make sense of

And poor Kaz wasn’t much better at that; certainly not to the point he’d be able to be much help for her in this area

As such, he resorted to simply helping raise her as if this new life was simply how their lives had always been

Because he’d used the blanket on her and not himself, and had literally given her some of the clothing off his back to keep her from freezing to death, she’d managed to survive the night.

In fact, while her body was too hypothermic to wake up when the medics came through and took her brothers, she was fortunate enough to be just warm enough to not be considered dead the way Kaz was, and as such, wasn’t dumped in the harbor with Jordie.

As such, she didn't develop the trauma with touch like Kaz

But, it was her presence on land that truly drove Kaz’s survival.

His body was giving up and he wanted nothing more than to just give in

And he especially didn’t want to have to use his brother’s body as a flotation mechanism in order to survive

But his vengeance and his inherent need to protect his little sister drove him

We know Kaz is shit when it comes to being around sick people now (understandably) but the one exception would be his sister should she fall ill.

That’s not to say he wasn’t still horrible at handling it, or that he wouldn’t go into a full on panic spiral at the tiniest sign of her getting sick

But, he was also unable to pull himself from her side until she healed.

He refused to ever risk being away from her while she was ill ever again.

As far as his touch phobia, that undoubtedly extended to his sister as well, although he truly hated himself for it (more so than when it came to his touch phobia in general).

But, it was out of his control. Besides things got better with time.

It started rough and killed his spirit each time when his little 7yr old sister wanted to hold her surviving brother’s hand while walking through the “scary” streets of the Barrel or otherwise simply sought physical comfort from him.

Especially because he’d once been able to offer that to her and he knew she was old enough to remember that and he saw the clear proof of that in her sad eyes every time he pulled away

But by that point, he’d suffered the worst of it. So he knew they’d power through

The worst was when he made it back to her and he’d had to explain to her that jordie was not coming back. As if her sobs and screams weren’t painful enough for Kaz, she tried to cling onto him for support, only to find herself confused and more distraught when he scrambled away

With time, the two orphans inevitably took over the town.

At first Kaz wouldn’t let his sister get involved

Until he realized that was futile, especially if he wanted her to start safe

He had caught her defiantly trying to help on her own, so he eventually caved and taught her everything she needed to now how to do and brought her into the business

Inej and Kaz’s interaction about crows was actually similar to what happened with his sister years before and that’s what made him choose to name their new elite crewmembers and dare his sister say friends, his crows.

Kaz used his power in the Barrel to create a safety shield around his sister

He knew she was a vulnerability to him and in turn was at risk by association, so most people didn’t know she was his sister

She’d been hurt at first when he told her this was how they’d go about their new life, after all, she was so young and didn’t understand but he did it for her sake

And if people did find out about them being siblings, they’d assume that she and Kaz must not be as close as normal siblings because they saw the business relationship only and assumed that’s all there was between them even when finding out about the blood relation (it helped that Kaz always made a name for himself as someone who didn’t care about anyone else), which worked to keep people from using her as bait or something against Kaz. Which was what he’d masterminded of course.

She was 7 so she didn’t understand the need to change their last names and start fresh but she trusted Kaz fully

She is and was the only person he ever took flack from and or allowed/allows to yell or argue etc with him but only in private

Kaz knew his sister would be struggling with Jordie’s death, as he himself was and still is

But he knew he was not going to be much help

He did as much as he could, if she’d suffered anxiety or panic attacks, he was there to offer verbal assistance and support

And he helped her take part in getting revenge for what they went through

But he couldn’t talk about it. It was still too much and talking was no longer a strength of his.

He couldn’t talk to her when she was younger as he needed her to simply follow along with what he said and believe this was just the way things went all along

But as they got older he still found himself unable to talk to her about it

But that’s why he finally told Inej just enough for her to know that his sister would be having similar issues as him since she was so worried about his behaviors and in turn, he knew Inej would go to her and be able to offer the support he couldn’t

Again, I could go on and on, but I loved this idea!

Kaz Taglist: @dil3mma @directioner5life @ell0ra-br3kk3r @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @winstonthecow22 @alex-kazbrekkersimp @wolfmoonmusic @phoenix666stuff @kentucky-criedfricken @twlegit @valeridarkness @shara-ne @crazyhearttragedy @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @el-de-phi @adalia-jaycee @bookloverfilmoholic @beekeepingageissome

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[phantomfallacy]

Where are my cat!Roksoo fics. That was not a question, it was a statement. I see ppl compare Rok Soo to a cat and really, I’m digging the idea but y’all giving the food but telling me to cook it myself?

…I’ll contribute seasoning—

He’s not a beast person, he’s a legit cat. No opposable thumbs for this kitty. No deus ex machina to make him do legit work later. Give him the slacker life he deserves. Let him live it easily even though he gets dropped off in Rain City’s slums.

Despite that, On and Hong immediately know that he’s intelligent—or they bother him enough to know it eventually.

As if his resourcefulness and caring nature didn’t make it obvious enough that he has high enough emotional intelligence to share his food with the siblings instead of hissing at them for approaching like other alley cats in the slums—

Does he scrounge for food in the trash? Yeah. But they’re almost never bad. No mold, no rot, no dirt. Of course when the food they manage to find is nothing but waste he does find other sources like hunting in the wild. Maybe eventually he urges the kids to turn human so they can cook it. He doesn’t do this often though bc while cats used to be wild and capable hunters he’s just a house cat now. Most he’ll catch are small birds and rodents.

He teaches the kids how to scam. With the magic of cat. Big eyes, cute meows—next thing you know Hans has brought them into the Henituse Estate. After that they endear themselves to the Henituse kids—Cale included.

Kim Rok Soo wants to stay away from the minor villain but honestly the absolute misery from the guy is bothering his afternoon nap so he makes it his daily mission to trip the redhead until he gets a pat.

One day Cale really does trip in the middle of a drunken act and Rok Soo just sits on him. Cale is resigned bc he is not a Cat, and therefore does not have the Divine Right to command anything, much less a cat off his throne.

Eventually Cale warms up to Kitty Rok Soo bc he gets to further his villain act by petting the cat in his lap with a deviously trashy smile—yes, Rok Soo followed him out to the bar. No, he couldn’t stop Rok Soo.

Cats have nine lives. Anybody trying to hurt KRS would be unlucky enough to suffer divine retribution bc black cats are “bad luck.” Heh.

Obviously Ron would know all three of the cats aren’t normal but seeing the growing affection between the Henituse family and the felines he kinda just accepts it like he does in canon and tries to teach the kiddos assassination techniques.

He tries to teach KRS too even after learning he’s a normal—if abnormally intelligent—cat, but KRS runs to Cale every time. After the first time that Ron almost caught KRS, KRS makes sure there’s always ten escape routes that take him to either Cale or Deruth in a minute or less at any moment in time.

Or you know what, KRS’s favorite Ron-deterrent is Violan bc she doesn’t fool around with him like Deruth. Favorite pastime is watching her sculpt bc the noises are hypnotic and it’s like watching discovery channel in live 4k HD. Deruth is only for when he’s in an emergency where neither Cale nor Violan are around. Or when he wants pats.

He stays away from Beacrox bc hello germaphobe torture expert?? No cats allowed in the kitchen?!?!? Little does he know that Beacrox does have a soft spot for the kittens and leaves snacks outside the kitchen for them and the first time KRS takes the offerings he’s so pleased that Ron pets KRS, who is scared shitless but that’s just how it is.

#trash of the count's family #tcf #lout of the count’s family #lcf #kim rok soo #cale henituse #tcf hong #tcf on #tcf headcanon #tcf au #cat kim rok soo #original cale henituse #cat au #will cat kim rok soo still fight for world peace? yes #by the power invested in his paw pads

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

the first manned shuttle ever to launch into space- the vostok in 1961- had a space for the crew around 6 feet (2.3 m) in diameter. the first manned shuttle to carry three people at once- the voskhod in 1964- was practically the exact same size, and required the crew to forego spacesuits in order for all three of them to fit.

the death engine is... well. a hell of a lot bigger than either of them. we never get a picture of it in its entirety, but from what we see both in photographs as well as the visible space in person, the docking bay alone probably has more space than both of those ships combined. which makes sense, as it is a satellite and not exclusively a flight vessel.

... but the death engine still had a crew of three to man it for however long it was intended to be in immediate use. three people, solaris only being one of them.

as if that wasn't bad enough on its own, the other two assistants who tagged along weren't professionals, but intern astronauts- making it rather obvious why none of them survived as long as solaris herself did. before she discovers who the agent is, she assumes them to be equally as inexperienced right out of the gate (“Okay, lesson one of space internships: You need oxygen to live”).

from these two factors alone, we can assume that solaris would have been pulling over twice her weight around the satellite regardless of whether or not her assistants were alive, and only took on more responsibility after they were killed while on duty. that's already a huge mental strain and time investment in its own right. but that's not even all of it.

astronauts need to exercise for at least two hours if they don't want to suffer muscle or bone atrophy. as a result, they need to eat more calories than they normally would on earth. sodium intake also needs to be reduced (as the human body sheds less of it in space), and vitamin d intake needs to be increased (as it can not be generated from the sun). that means, perhaps rather obviously, that their diet is very important.

unfortunately for solaris, she is stuck eating the grotesque space slop.

not only does the food ration not include the recommended amount of essential vitamins, and include a self admittedly high amount of salt, but it is unclear what it even is supposed to be.

i can only hope that vitamin d happens to be a part of the 'some essential vitamins' included, since- considering there is zero orange juice located in the orange drink- there is probably none of it to be found in there.

this isn't even mentioning the importance of sleep on a spacecraft, partnered with how difficult it is to acquire in altered gravity. and partnering that up with solaris' poor diet, and the mountain of tasks she probably has to go through just to keep everything operational?

i clown on her a lot for 'doing nothing' while the agent was meddling with her things, but this entire time she's been overworked, underfed, and presumably doing all of that on a heavily fragmented sleep schedule.

no wonder she hasn't gotten around to clearing the radiation from the docking bay. no wonder she stayed in her chair the entire time. i would have gotten the call from zor and gone straight back to fucking bed!!!

#ieytd #commander solaris #long post #but it's important. to ME. #GET HER TO BEEEED. for the love of GOD. #no wonder she's snippy on the phone. she's got a headache 🙁 and a stummyache 😟 #she's stuck on the death engine with two corpses or whatever and the worst fucking slop she's ever tasted #i went to a space museum and learned all about astronauts struggling to sleep #the artificial light of their shuttle can wake them up. or the noise. or the fact that you float right off of your bed. #undersleeping can SEVERELY compromise a mission when you aren't thinking clearly... and um. well. #i sure would call the death engine compromised

[fiveredlights]

I need to know the process of max and daniel telling people in glitter. I mean, obviously there were 80 billion people who found out based on everyone being at their wedding, them casually mentioning it at f1 shoots, obviously the teams knowing, etc, but the key first reveals? Who knew, how they told them, how they took, etc, I want to know all! Also, I want all the insight of them in 2022 that you’re up for sharing with how they navigated the emotional minefield there, because the snippet you shared about the two shows such a interesting glimpse into max being in the peak of his career while his boyfriend is falling and suffering and barely eating and forcing smiles when he’s never had to before. Sorry, two very broad questions in one ask, but since we as outsiders don’t have the details, I definitely have some curiosities around these bigger topics.

Final, actually more specific question: how is Daniel with the cats?

yes, i will say that this socmed format def has one downfall and it's not being able to share the deeper details but i am very happy to just dump all of this here, hope this satisfies some of your curiosities anon!

how max and daniel tell everyone:

charles is absolutely the first person max and daniel tell, and that's just because he was the first person to catch an inkling that they may want to be more than friends. that's done with a facetime with max and daniel (which is in ch 3, charles' post). he was basically the driving force to getting maxiel together-- they got together after daniel invited max to stay in his house in perth during COVID, there’s a kookaburra called gary that taunts max to make the first move, it’s a whole thing--charles basically forced daniel to invite him over. but also, there are definitely drivers who thought they were already dating, here's a snippet from the new year's day fic, a conversation between daniel and nico hulkenburg during singapore, 2019.

Are you two okay?  We’re fine I know you don’t like talking about him but you’re okay right?  It’s awful when you fight with your partner, but I guess it’s worse for you cause you have to race him the next day.  Nico What We’re not dating Oh Did you think I was dating Max this whole time?! Does Max know that 

i don’t think they tell the rest of the drivers, probably just the ones they’re close with. if charles knows, pierre knows. when max told alex he was going to stay in australia, he laughed really loudly, gave a pat on the back to max and said “charles told me you two were always weird about each other” and walks away. so make of that what you will. they don’t tell george, he finds out from someone and feels instantly betrayed as leader of the daniel ricciardo fanclub but gets over it quickly. no one tells sebastian but they both get a “Congratulations. — Sebastian” text one random day.

max’s sister instantly finds out when he doesn’t come back to europe for lockdown. daniel doesn’t tell his mum till max has left to go back to the UK before the season starts again, but she already knew (he wore a red bull shirt with 33 on it whilst they socially distanced exchanged food with each other).

the red bull team find out during a meeting where daniel walks through the living room with a basket of laundry. they don't say anything there, but daniel receives a vague message from a number he doesn't recognise basically being like treat him right etc etc (it's GP.) the renault team were under the impression that they were dating the whole time, so no shock from them.

but i think for the first two years (2020-2022) they try and keep it as much as a secret as they can, especially because of how turbulent their careers were at that time. when daniel has his pseudo 6 month sabbatical and is back with red bull, that’s when they slowly start to talk about their relationship around everyone more. (with the help of some very strong NDAs i imagine to stop stuff from leaking. but people probably respect them enough to not leak. it’s a fictional universe, people are nicer here.)

2022:

2022 is a real turning point for them. as you put very nicely, max is at the peak of his career, daniel has never been lower. i think for both of them it's a do or die point of their relationship--i think they were kind of stuck in this honeymoon period during the first year of the relationship, but daniel going through a depressive period snaps them both out of it. obviously, i can only speak for my own fictionalised daniel ricciardo and my own experiences, but i think he just slowly stops trying. like here's what i wrote, and i think it just encapsulates what daniel feel internally throughout the year:

“Sometimes I think you are not angry enough about it. You used to fight back everything you did not like at Red Bull and now Lando says you just sit there in meetings and accept all the bad things they’ve thrown at you.”

he’s tried being nice about it, he’s tried being angry about it and none of it works, so why try anymore? but also this is when max realises that daniel needs something tangible for him to realise that max is in it for the long run, which is how the tattoo is born. it doesn’t fix all their problems, time will help, but it’s a nice thing. he doesn’t tell max but max getting a no.3 tattoo is basically a marriage proposal in his eyes and frankly it is—if someone came up to me and was like hey i got a tattoo of your racing number 3 next to where you always place your hand on me and when they’re together it reads 33 which is my racing number, i would’ve dragged their ass to the nearest government office and got married right there, but that’s just me—the actual proposal is probably in early 2023, and it’s max who proposes whilst they go on a bushwalk, he knew that daniel has bought a ring recently and wanted to catch him off guard. (proposal pic is daniel’s post on august 5th in ch3)

daniel and the cats:

the cats definitely hate him at first (i have genuinely never heard a nice, calm story from jimmy and sassy). they destroy his shoes by playing with the shoelaces, only sit on daniel’s clean laundry, sleep on his side of the bed (cats are vindictive like that) but after a couple weeks of this behaviour they probably realise that daniel’s not going anywhere. they like him more when he buys some super duper expensive cat treat and max comes to the conclusion his boyfriend has stolen the hearts of his cats.

#tw: depression #tw: mental health #glitter on the floor #asks #GOTF asks

[outofangband]

Rambling thoughts about the public nature of Aerin’s ordeal in The Children of Húrin versus the private, hidden nature of her ordeal in BoLT and then I started rambling about other things

cw: abuse, forced marriage, etc

Also it’s six am and I got up an hour ago for work so this might not be entirely coherent

in the Narn Aerin’s suffering is public and there’s another element of anguish and shame there.

She is taken as the wife of the incomer who has declared himself lord of Dor-Lómin (though fittingly, poignantly, Brodda himself is the only to declare that there is no lady of Dor-lómin…)

Everyone knows who Brodda is and why he’s chosen Aerin and her position as his wife might be understood to be unwilling by her people and even by his but it’s still understood. then at the same time there are those who call her lucky…that line that she was taken as a wife and not a slave (though let’s be honest…Brodda’s distinction between the two is dubious at BEST, I actually have another post I’m working on about marriage in Tolkien and how his views of it are different…and similar to both other male characters and historical beliefs). Honestly, by “a wife and not a slave” I read that the primary difference is that Aerin is required more to act as though there is a meaningful difference, not that there is one

It’s not like the others are allowed to express their opinions or discontent but Aerin especially must sit beside Brodda, must act and appear how he wants.

And then as I talked about here there is the inherent trauma of how intimately she must know him, even just in ways to keep herself safe.

Aerin has slightly more mobility and maybe if Brodda is possessive enough or his men think he is then she might be spared the worst of abuse from others though frankly I don’t think he cares all that much and if anything happened, he’d punish Aerin, not whoever hurt her.

From what we get from Sador, her leadership among her people and her using this to feed and shelter some of them is largely unknown to Brodda whether because he doesn’t notice or he doesn’t care. It’s not necessarily something she’s been allowed.

And any ‘privileges’ she has aren’t meaningful. We know she was beaten for giving food to Morwen and that she might be hurt if she was caught talking to travelers. She doesn’t have any real freedom and even if she’s not subjected to manual labor like some of the slaves she’s not living comfortably. (This does not even get into the elements of sexual violence of course, I have another post about those elements here so I won’t go into that now. I think “took by force to be his wife” functions as a euphemism for rape and describes that Aerin is being forced to act in a social and personal role, defined by Brodda and re-enforced by everyone else. Does that make sense?)

We don’t see much of her actual interactions with Brodda but I’m always struck by his anger at Túrin for continuing to push Aerin to speak about Morwen. (Obviously) this is not because Aerin is uncomfortable and afraid, she is uncomfortable and afraid because of him, but because his perception of his ownership of her is so absolute that Túrin “gainsaying” Aerin when she repeats the narrative she thinks Brodda wants is viewed as an insult to him. He’s obviously angry about any of this being brought up, it’s very clear that he views Aerin’s aiding Morwen as another insult, another act of undermining his ownership of her (as I rambled a lot about on this post) and him and Aerin know as well as Túrin that she’s lying…there is no doubt in my mind that she would have been hurt very badly for this afterwards. But also her lie is of the narrative he wants and Túrin challenging it challenges him. Even as her terror is so palpable she is almost invisible in some ways to at least some of those at the table

(It’s also worth noting that Brodda wrongly states that Morwen was his thrall. He’s still very clearly angry that he never had the chance to enact violence against her but that’s for later…trust me I have a post on this too)

Also, was making a darker post about Aerin but while I was writing it I was just thinking about the ways Sador describes her. The almost reverence he has. I think there was some resentment and victim blaming from some of the other captives* I think for the most part people felt compassion for her and even respected her especially when she was able to do more to help the others. That’s what Sador seems to imply. And that’s so important to me!!! Aerin is genuinely loved by her people and they do not blame her for what Brodda does, to her or to them. They don’t seem to expect her to try and temper him. Sador describes Brodda as her husband ‘by need’ but other than that it’s understood that she’s a captive like they are. It sort of goes into my thoughts about Aerin’s kindness as defiance in the face of both personal and cultural violence

Also to be clear, Aerin deserves compassion and respect regardless of her ability to help her people. None of the victim blaming or just generally unfair sentiments she endured is fair. I talked about Aerin’s trying to help her people even at her own cost and their respect for her for this because I think it’s such a compelling and painful aspect of her character and story and I do think that it changed or at least influenced how she was viewed by her people, whether or not that’s fair. but yeah I love and respect Aerin so much I just wanted to be clear that even if there was nothing she could do for them she would still deserve to be viewed with compassion. I think I’ve primarily talked about the conflicts and blame she faced in my post about her extended family and in part of great was the company. It makes me very sad and I find the dynamics of environments of coercive control, whether occupied Hithlum or Angband, interesting to explore

Anyways I will make a follow up post about BoLT and this soon because the similarities and differences are fascinating.

#the silmarillion #the children of húrin #Aerin #musing and meta #Morwen #Sador #cw abuse #occupation of Hithlum

[cinnavanillamelody]

Ms Mocha, I keep hearing there's something to Sagi, but all I see is a defiance against even considering changing his ways.

He is perfectly satisfied with causing pain and suffering and he see's no reason to change as he has told several creatures who have approached him.

I guess I could give him the Batman Begins speech, but he's obviously content with what he does defining him.

Lightning seems convinced there's something more too who he is on the inside. I would laugh at that, but I too was convinced there was more to Diamond Tiara, long before anypony saw it.

But where I was proven right to see something good in Diamond, I could be wrong about there being no good in him.

@ask-gadzooks seems to care enough to fight me all day on it. So like, what am I missing?

Alright, time to tell you just what the deal is.

To be fully frank with you, @ask-gadzooks are correct about your recent behavior toward our newest Antagonist. Notice my word usage fillies, that will be important later.

Your reactions towards him and the constant calling him of names are childish in nature, and shows your lack of ability to see the nuance of his character, no matter how much I tell you that he isn't what he seems on the surface.

This is common with most though, because in your head Sagi is a villain even though I never stated that he was. Let's go back to the word antagonist. The definition of antagonist is a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary. The antagonist serves as a constant obstacle to the protagonist. In this case, all of our protagonists.

I keep trying to illustrate that Sagi's problem can not be solved with the same methods he would use to dispatch someone else. Name-calling won't work on him, he doesn't give a shit about anyone who isn't his mother, or friend. (And he currently only has one friend, Lightning) if anything, you're just egging him on to continue calling you names, because he's getting a negative reaction from you. Fear is his favorite food, but he feeds on most strong negative emotions, like anger for example. Arresting him isn't an option, because while yes torturing dragons isn't the best thing to do, it's not exactly in the law that you can't harshly punish a criminal for a heinous crime. And that's another thing.

You hear "He tortures dragons to harvest their fear and enjoys it a little too much" and completely ignore the facts that:

HE HAS STANDARDS FOR THE DRAGONS HE HARVESTS FEAR FROM, THEY HAVE TO BE CRIMINALS, AND THEY HAVE TO HAVE COMMITTED EXTENSIVE EGREGIOUS CRIMES.

HE DOESN'T HARM ANYTHING THAT CAN'T WITHSTAND HIS MAGIC.

He harvests fear from dragons specifically because they're strong enough to withstand violence if it gets to that point, and for the most part, after they have a run-in with him, the likelihood of repeat offenses from dragons (the most dangerous non-ponies) drops to zero. And yeah, it sucks for the dragons that live in Equestria that choose to commit crimes, but THEY COMMIT CRIMES, they aren't exactly innocent.

Another problem I have is that you compare Sagi to two characters he has NO similarity to.

Diamond Tiara. She was a spoiled rich kid brat with a superiority complex and insecurities that she took out on others around her. And yeah, she didn't harm others physically, but she did harm others because she regularly made fun of Scootaloo, a disabled child for her disability. REGULARLY. Diamond was a bully, Sagi despises bullies, he isn't one. Diamond also didn't have to hurt other people to literally survive. Sagi unfortunately does. And you just assume he's fine with that existence and not that he's just I dunno, gotten used to it?

That Detective you keep mentioning from that old Batman Cartoon. (I don't remember his name or which cartoon he's from) Based on your description of this surly man. He has a surface-level comparison at first glance. But Sagi is in no way gluttonous, he isn't surly, and he's not a jerk. Sagi's quite polite to people who treat him politely. He called you a snooty earth pony because you were BEING A SNOOTY EARTH PONY to his friend, so much so that you made her cry. You've mentioned how that wasn't your intention, but you still hurt his friend, of course, he would defend her in the only way he knows how to deal with bully behavior (not calling you a bully, but that was bullish behavior) threats. Which usually works because of his Umbrum ancestry.

The reason everyone else seems to see what you can't is because they are trying to understand him. You, are antagonizing him. He's going to react the way you have in your mind "a villain" would react because you treat him like one. Which, I may add, his mother? Selena? TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT. She explicitly told you that Sagi is a product of his circumstances, how do you think a child that is born with a near uncontrollable urge to cause harm and fear to everything around him because if he doesn't he'll die is supposed to grow up? Sagi found a way to fulfill his need to harvest fear the way his personality likes, with the least likely way to cause casualties. He doesn't understand why everyone is so mad at him for finding a way to live without hurting anyone innocent of wrongdoing. Which, I repeat, THE DRAGONS HE HAS TORTURED ARE NOT INNOCENT, THEY ARE ALL GUILTY OF CRIMES THAT HAVE HARMED OTHER INNOCENT PEOPLE.

The ONLY Dragon he has gone too far with is Sanori. That was a moment where, like Selena said, he got overexcited. Sanori was (and is) a very strong dragon because he's the son of a dragonlord. (Not Ember, a different set) Sanori was the first, and only dragon, not to surrender as easily. He also was super terrified of being taken into custody, which just thrilled Sagi even more. The fact that he was a cop, and not just because he was an Umbrum, was terrifying to someone, was the equivalent of practical euphoria for Sagi. That just his presence as an officer of the law put the practical fear of God into a criminal. He didn't want it to end, he didn't want Sanori to get away, and he was known for flying to evade capture. So the first chance he got, he took that option away. It was at that point that Sagi stopped himself because if he went any further he would have killed Sanori in front of multiple people. (Screams of pain tend to draw a crowd) Sagi realized he was enjoying it too much, and left Sanori there. He didn't want to lose himself in the process of consuming the most potent fear he's ever gotten in his life.

Sanori's fear, even his residual fear, was enough to keep Sagi alive and well for years after the fact. All throughout Cinna's other half of growing up. It's no different than being addicted to something. Fear is his favorite emotion to feed on, he is addicted to causing fear.

What Lightning, is trying to illustrate, is that she knows Sagi on a personal level. And she can see the signs of an addiction. (You know, considering she's also a cop. A VERY GOOD cop) And she has had conversations with Sagi, actual conversations. If you notice, she talks to and about Sagi like a regular person, because in the end, he is a normal person with severe issues. He is stuck in his ways, but that doesn't mean he has no desire to change, he just doesn't have a valid reason. From his POV, he's only hurting people who deserve it, he has all the friends he needs, and his mother (and father) is doing well. Why does that have to change?

If you really want to see all the parts of the story I've been trying to show you since he was introduced, Approach him with the mindset of trying to actually understand the why of how he is now, not what he's done in the past.

That was a long rant, but hopefully, it is understandable. Thank you for reading. -Mod Mocha 🍫

#mlp ask blog #ask box open #cinnavannilamelody #cinnaverse #lemonverse #mod mocha

[an-otterly-adorable-being]

If it isn't too specific, I'd like to request some Mae Borowski x writer!reader (but specifically the "has hundreds of overly complicated stories they're trying to work on all at once and suffers proportionately for their hubris" type of writer) relationship headcanons, please

Man this reader is just like me fr fr.

Mae Borowski x Writer!Reader Headcanons

Fun fact: I'm this exact type if writer, and it's why I do mostly headcanons now. Hope y'all enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------

• Man, you really need to finish that story.

• Which one? Even you don't really know.

• Besides, you have this brilliant idea you just have to write!

• Yeahhhh, you don't exactly have a reputation for finishing projects.

• In fact you have, how many was it? 1,2,6,10,15... more unfinished stories than you can count on your hands.

• Still, on the rare chance you do get something finished, you'll treat yourself to the Clik Clak, or maybe even that new taco place.

• It was during one of these triumphs that you ended up running face first into a glass door.

• In your defense, the door had just been opened by a short cat.

• You, not expecting to be headbutted by solid glass, ended up falling over.

• As you got up you heard someone give, what you're pretty sure was an apology. It didn't really feel like one though.

• One of the four people standing nearby, the bear, helped you to your feet, and made sure you were okay.

• He, along with the other girl of the group, were fairly nice, actually.

• Meanwhile a shorter guy was giggling while the girl who hit you with the door looked mortified.

• You met eachother’s eyes, and she attempted to apologize again.

• "I...Can I apologize with, like, food, or something? We were going to the Clik Clak, if you want to tag along."

• After the tall lady, who you later found out was Bea, had to explain that she was the one actually paying, and that you didn't have to come if you didn't want to, you decided a free meal was the perfect cure for your bumped noggin.

• The group was actually fairly nice, if a bit odd.

• At the very least it was nice to meet more people around your age in Possum Springs.

• You knew Selmers, since she lived right across the street, but aside from that people in town were mostly in their 30s at the earliest.

• Well, not accounting for the Harleys.

• To be fair there were probably more people on town that were in that young adult range, but you didn't get out of the house enough to know for sure.

• Nah, sunlight is underrated, so writing Demon Tower fanfics was obviously a better use of your time than going outside.

• But these people were a nice change of pace.

• You became friends with them for a reason, after all.

• You could nerd out with, well, basically all of them, but mostly Greg and Angus.

• Bea was nice to just talk with when your mental health plummeted.

• And then there was Mae, the cat who knocked you off your feet in more ways than one.

• You never put much belief in the "love at first sight," thing, even though you had written it more than a few times.

• Even so, boy was your heart skipping fast when you first saw her.

• And now that you were talking with Mae regularly? Honey, if romantic attraction was alcohol, you'd be plastered.

• You can't explain it, neither can Bea or Angus when you tell them, but you absolutely adore this woman.

• After enough time you end up finally asking her out and, after a lot of disbelief, the two of you officially begin dating.

• Oh, and in case you're wondering, you do have a story started that is absolutely, 100% not two characters stand inside for you two.

#headcanon #nitw mae #nitw #night in the woods #mae night in the woods #mae borowski x reader #mae borowski

[thewoodbinewitch]

I'm thinkin bout old people again, and how working in an assisted living/ dementia home opened my eyes to so much going on in aging. How their disabilities aren't being met in a place meant to meet disabilities. How the workers are overworked so they're napping behind the desk rather than spending time with their residents. How their drive to do fulfilling things persists despite the system treating them uniformly. How one activity person is definitely not enough.

The deaf woman didn't have tv captions or an aide she just sat and colored and was communicated to via whiteboard. She was a musician who raised a large family of musicians. When we made cupcakes she had an expert hand since she raised her seven brothers and sisters in addition to her seven kids. She used to sneak out to dance with boys when she was young.

The 80 year old lady from Sri Lanka didn't think she was going to live this long. She wanted to go home to die. She felt trapped in this prison and would act out to get visits from her family. She loved playing word games and Bingo and always helped clean up after each activity. She walked around like a teacher, hands behind her back, observing the people. She liked to take her food, which she hated to eat, and try to feed the squirrels. Her favorite song was que sera sera. There's nothing like a room of people with dementia all singing que sera sera.

The British ballet teacher always wanted to go out and was best friends with the deaf lady. The Vietnamese pharmacist insisted on wearing every hat she could find and had a gallery wall of her own art. The residential school survivor loved to kiss her puppy toy and would have him sit in other people's laps when they were sad. The 100 year old Black woman would tell me about her church and tell me the ladies who dressed her every morning needed Jesus. The divorcee who loved puffins would pray with me to end the suffering of her family who obviously were suffering which is why they never visited.

The disabled-all-her-life clown was so proud of her husband's awards at Disney and gave me insider performance secrets. She always wished me luck on theatre. So did the veteran lighting designer who did the lights for all the exhibits at the local science and industry museum for 40 years. He's mentioned in my design textbook.

These are people I knew. Some of them I saw die. And it makes you think about how we will one day, chance willing, grow old, become disabled, and die. We gotta be prepared for it because the system itself sucks. Half these quirks were things to be solved because there's only so much chaos a facility can handle and because the system penalizes "problem" behavior

TLDR old people are important to get to know because they're fascinating and wonderful and also terrifying because one day that will be you and you've got to prepare for it

#i plan on creating a community myself #elder care commune #i think aging might be more terrifying than death #just because its such a long period of life #and the system gets way harder

[ahungeringknife]

365: May 26

There was an air of suspicion when Eramis stepped onto the ketch's throne. Her reputation preceded her and not a few members of the outfit obviously kept her in their rifle sights as she walked up to the Baron waiting at the end of the room. Other than herself and the Baron no one else wore breathing masks. A testament to the wealth and ability of the outfit. There was no ether rationing here.

"That's close enough," Preksik said, still sitting, when Eramis came within ten feet of his throne. A display put on just for her. She didn't need to know that.

Eramis bowed before him, all four arms out, spreading out her cape so everyone could see she had indeed come empty handed as she'd been ordered to board the Lucent Dawn. "Baron Preksik the Scarred," she said in deference to him. "A reputation remembered even out here."

Next to him Braldos tsked. She held her rifle half lowered. Preksik didn't have to look to know his sister was rolling her eyes. "Eramis, the Shipstealer. What have you come to my outfit for?"

She gathered herself up and thankfully spoke directly. "We are making a new home, a new Riis, on Europa. I have come to see if you wish to be apart of something greater than... this," her tone turned patronizing at the end.

Preksik looked over at his grandson who was also his aide. "Which one is that?" he asked Geviks.

"Moon of Jupiter. Icy. Highly radioactive because of its thin atmosphere so it's constantly bombarded by space radiation," Geviks said simply. "An irresponsible place to create a colony," he stared at Eramis.

Eramis growled. "It is a place machine spawn do not go. It is safe for our kind," she said empathetically.

Preksik just chuckled. "If you think that you're a fool," he said. "There is nowhere the Lightbearers do not go in their own system. Just because they are not there now doesn't mean they will never go."

"Wouldn't you want your children to not be born and live in a ship their entire lives?" Eramis pressed.

"The outfit's children do not suffer."

"We were not made to live our life on ships."

"And yet we always have. Even on Riis. Tall ships and skimmers were more popular then I believe?" he said casually and though she wore a mask he knew her eyes went wide. He leaned forward, putting a hand on his knee. "What is it you want, Eramis? Are you seeking backing from the only unaffiliated outfit in the system not involved with Spider or the pirate crews? Do you need ether? Food? Clothes? Bodies?"

She held her lower hands out to him. "Perhaps friendship-

He laughed. "No." He leaned back in his throne as the Eliksni in the room also laughed. "No my outfit will not give you that. The rumors of your nature reach us even out here in the Oort cloud. We have had too many masters. You will not be the next."

"That isn't what I said."

"And who will lead Riis?" Preksik asked calmly. "You?" Eramis said nothing. He chuckled. "No. We will serve no Kell ever again."

"And yet you style yourself as one, masquerading like a Baron," Eramis said, anger getting the better of her. She refused to flinch at the low growl that came out of every Eliksni in the room.

"There are no Houses here, Eramis. No Kells. Now tell me what you want before I decide you have used all your good will of being Baron Viksis' friend once upon a time and I space you for your rudeness." He drummed his fingers on the arm of the throne boredly. He wasn't intimidated by Eramis. He also had the biggest fleet outside of a proper House in the system. She could do nothing to him.

"If friendship is beyond our grasp," she meant it as for both of them. Annoying but admirable. "Then any supplies you are willing to spare: ether, food, building materials. We will build Riis again with or without you."

"It will certainly be without," Preksik said mildly. "Geviks have eight hundred canisters of our reserve ether sent to Eramis' ship." He looked her over. "And whatever spare ration boxes the Mechanist has in reserve."

"All of it?" Geviks asked.

"Half of it," Preksik allowed. That was a lot and he didn't love Eramis. "What is the state of metal sheets on the Sun Skimmer?"

Geviks looked at it on his tablet. "Five hundred tons," Geviks said.

"Have half of it sent as well. What of wiring? No matter, send half of that as well."

Eramis stood there stunned. "You are very generous, Baron," she said.

"It is a one time donation, Eramis. Do not ask for more. Do not return. As soon as you step off my ship if you return or attempt to board you will be shot on sight," Preksik said like he was discussing the state of this year's harvest. "I am not doing this for you but to satiate my own guilt should I do nothing while you lead those Eliksni to a death world to create a mimicry of our lost homeworld. At least when it all turns to ash in your hands I will know I did what I could to spare you."

"It will not fail," Eramis insisted.

"For your sake and the sake of your House I hope so. Gaviks send out a broadcast of what Eramis is doing. If anyone wishes to leave with her they may." He looked at Eramis critically. "My outfit supports who they want and nothing more, Eramis," he said.

"A gracious gift," Eramis bowed slightly.

"Quartermaster, escort Eramis back to her ship. Make sure all the supplies are loaded and she leaves promptly," Preksik said, leaning to one side of the throne. "We will not meet again, Eramis."

"And yet we leave almost as friends," she said, extending a hand.

"No. I just know you're less trouble alive than dead. Now return to your ship and await your charity," and he waved her off. Braldos stepped down and joined Eramis. Quietly she guided Eramis out and the door closed behind them.

It was quiet again in the throne room. Then Preksik activated a monitor attached to his throne, the holographic display appeared before him. "Fek," he said. Fek was a Captain who ran the bridge.

"Yes, sir?"

"Have all guns pointed at Eramis' ship. I want no disturbances."

"Already done, sir. And I had the ketches without guns to move deeper into the Oort."

"Very good. As you were," and he closed the holographic display and stood up. "And the rest of you; as you were," and everyone relaxed and the door opened as they left the throne world, the charade completed.

"Paps," Gaviks said slowly as Preksik also headed out.

"Yes? Actually before you say anything, don't tell your grandfather I did that," he said to Gaviks. Viksis would be annoyed.

"Oh-- yes... that was what I was going to ask," Gaviks said with a wince.

"Just wait until she leaves. I'll deal with him," Preksik sighed as he stepped out of the throne room.

"Right. Well I need to go make that broadcast. I think that will let him know what you did," Gaviks reminded him.

Preksik sighed. "Right. Wait like ten minutes," and Gaviks nodded. That was long enough to find Viksis and distract him almost indefinitely. Viksis had been complaining about wanting another baby now that their latest one was grown by a few decades. He could keep his mate distracted easily. Long enough that by the time he found out to scold Preksik Eramis and her crew would be long gone.

#365 #writeblr #writblr #fanfiction #destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #eramis #eliksni #the fallen #fallen #original eliksni #Preksik #Braldos

[kusagrasskusa]

Fell! Sans X Sick! Reader - “Brompton Cocktail”

This is really different from what I normally write (nonstop Mortal Kombat X Readers lmao) but I wanted to do this because I love this song from Avenged Sevenfold. Obviously you don’t need to listen to it but if you’d like to, go ahead :) Just skip to 60 seconds in to figure out the exact point of the song I’m referencing.

TW: Death, sickness (cancer), drugs, and just a lot of sad shit

So, a brompton cocktail is a mixture of cocaine, morphine and antiemetics to reduce pain and induce euphoria that was used in the 1920s for cancer patients.

♡❀˖⁺. ༶⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶⋆˙⊹❀♡

Humans are made up of cells, and because of which, they are susceptible to diseases like heart disease, diabetes, and most important of all rights now, cancer.

Monsters are made up of magic and henceforth have never had to deal with diseases like such, and so whenever Y/N had been in experiences weight loss, bleeding, and fever, no one knew what it could be.

She began to feel cough up blood, losing weight even if she eats more, and being incapable of breathing. You can imagine how her fiancé felt whenever he could do nothing but watch from the sidelines at her suffering, being so pissed off that he can’t do anything. Why was his beloved Y/N’s chest hurting so badly? Why can’t she barely breathe? Why won’t she eat anymore? Why can’t he do anything to stop it?

They were supposed to spent the rest of their lives together! They were supposed to reach the surface and marry on top of this damned mountain, they were supposed to get a house near a lake far away from anyone else so he won’t ever have to feel close to anyone again. Overcrowding in the underground has always been a big problem so Y/N was gonna show him what it’s like on the countryside with pets, animals, and possibly kids if technology developed enough. So why?

Y/N coughed, wheezing and gasping for air in the bed she laid in. Sans flinched and squeezed her hand, though a little hard.

“Sans,” she weakly whispered, “you’re stressed again.”

Sans softly chuckled, the edge in his voice coming out along with hints of tiredness. He’s been so tired lately and it was killing Y/N more than her sickness was, it seemed like. “Nah, I’m just thinking,” he replied, releasing her hand and repositioning himself on his seat. Since Y/N’s sickness, Sans had cleaned up his room beyond imaginable- no clothes on the floor, no dishes or food spilled across, nothing. Just a bed and nightstand with a lamp on it, and a seat by the bed. Y/N had oxygen being brought into her lungs via breathing tubes supplied by Doctor Alphys, who even she was too scared to be a bitch about given the state of Sans and surprisingly, Papyrus.

Although Papy didn’t like Y/n at first and tried many times to kill her in her sleep, she eventually grew on the family. His excuse for not killing her was that she wasn’t THAT bad at puzzles and people like that should be preserved. And sometimes she was a little funny too- and who’s gonna complain about free cooking? Y/N would introduce foods from the surface that may not had ever been seen before by them… Like toasted raviolli or macaroni! Though he likes spaghetti more, he didn’t mind the other two forms of Italian cuisine.

Actually, Y/N’s sickness had brought out a side of Papy that no one had ever seen before. Whenever Y/N had gone to see Alphys, Papy found Sans crying in his room. Normally he would say something like, “suffer in silence,” but he couldn’t help but sit down by his brother and just… be there. He pat his brother’s back and just sat there until he stopped crying. When Y/N heard of it, the thought hit her- perhaps Sans would be losing her, but he’d gain something he never had before, huh?

Sans sighed, thinking of the memory. “Humans really did get what they deserved, heh heh,” he said in a joking manner, but he meant it. “Humans deserve this for trapping us here. Even if you ain’t all that bad… and you’re basically a monster, heh heh… You guys deserve it.” Y/N raised a brow, weakly smiling after a moment has passed. “By why you? I mean, you’re a fucking angel among us pieces of shit! Maybe we deserve to be trapped here, but you don’t.. You don’t deserve this fucking disease. You guys deserve to get sick and diseased as a fucking karma, but you never did anything to deserve it…”

Her face was gloomy despite her smile and her eyes glimmered as Sans’s head turned to see them. “Hon, you don’t deserve this either,” she weakly replied, “and… I think I know what this is. And I know…” she paused, tears pricking her eyes, “I know a way to make everything better.”

You can imagine the look on Sans’s face whenever he heard her talk. He stood up from his chair and leaned over her, holding her hand tightly to his chest. “What can make you feel better?” He asked in haste, desperation- he truly was so fucking desperate. His voice was so cracked and unhinged, she knew it would hurt so badly to say this.

Y/N pressed her lips into a straight line, thinking about her response. Sans waited patently; his fiancé had to take a deep breath before replying. “Humans can contract a disease called cancer. Our bodies are made up of cells, similar to atoms but… Well, they contain about a trillion atoms per cell haha.. But the cells die so quickly and are reformed, but sometimes.. The cells will mess up whenever they are being created. This is what causes cancer in simple terms haha…”

Sans listened close, trying to understand what she meant. Of course monsters don’t study human biology but he could imagine what she was trying to describe. “Cancer,” she began, “at this point… baby, I love you, but my time is up.”

“No!” Sans yelled, scrunching his face as he hitched out his breaths. But the sad reality was that she was right.

“Sans!” She yelled back, tearing beginning to fall. She coughed out blood from her yell, taking a few large gasps for air- raising her voice was something she couldn’t do anymore, let along yell. Sans shushed her, brushing his skeletal fingers through her hair. A few moments passed of her catching her breath passed before she cleared her throat, continuing, “look at me. I used to be loud at shit at Grillby’s haha… Have some motherfucker wanna mess with the quiet human in the corner, and she’ll have the entire town of Snowden hear about it. But I can’t go above a whisper, baby…” she looked down at the covers and her shirt, drenched in blood from throughout the month.

“Dear, I can’t go on another day like this. You know that… So please,” her last work cracked as tears forcibly poured from her eyes, “I can’t feel my face, baby. I won’t struggle on anymore… This world is so cold, so wrong. I’m not running away anymore from the inevitable, and this pain I’ve been fighting has been going on for too long. There’s a price to pay when living and I’ve been paying it for too long.” She began talking in rhyme, which may sound cliche, but generally it’s safe to assume that’s when people are at their sincerest.

“I lost my final fight to disease, and I wanna feel alive again,” she breathed out, looking deep into the sockets of her fiancé. “There was a common ritual back in the 20s… A Brompton Cocktail,” she shivered, her face turning paler moment to moment. As if his anxiety wasn’t bad enough already, Sans seethed.

“What is-,” he spoke, “what is that?”

Y/N looked so sorrowful in her fiancé’s eyes. “A blend of cocaine, morphine and antiemetics… a shot of them in my veins called induced euphoria.”

Drugs was her final solution. And considering many residents are addicted underground… It wasn’t hard to find. But chit, he felt as terrible as she did almost as he called up Grillby, asking him for the contents he needed and the pay. This was it, huh? He didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t want to lose her!

He didn’t want to lose her.

As Sans returned home with the contents needed, he went into the kitchen and passed Papyrus. “Sans, the fuck!” Boss yelled upon seeing them. “You’re resorting to drugs now you sad piece of shit?” Sans scowled and rolled his eyes.

“No, asshole. This isn’t… This isn’t mine,” he replied though unfocused as he messed with the ingredients. Papyrus would have furrowed his eyebrows if he could, then the sudden realization hit him.

“Y/N!” Boss yelled as he quickly made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs, “what are you doing!” Sans sighed, freezing in his spot. He remembered the words his girl, HIS girl spoke, as she asked for these. This was really fucking it? He would going to lose his happiness to drugs?

“I have the right to die how I wanna,” Y/N told him, and was now repeating to Papyrus. “And I’m going to take my life tonight, and leave how I arrived… So alive,” her dead, empty eyes sparkled upon the last word of her sentence. Papyrus didn’t have it in him to show that he was hurt, but he did the way he knows how to.

“If you do this, you fuck… you idiot, you’re gonna piss of everyone here. We all respect you! And Sans loves you!” He yelled, clenching his fists. “NormalIy don’t care about him, but if I have to deal with his ass moping around all day,” he trailed off, uncharacteristic for someone like him. But he couldn’t hide how distraught he really felt. “If you do this, Y/N, you’d be the most selfish bitch in the underground.”

“I can die with that in mind,” she replied in a joking manner the way Sans normally does whenever he’s feeling bad. “Can you be there for him? Just for a little bit?”

The request stayed with Papyrus as he sat out in the living room, leaning forward with his arms on his knees. The question of “is this really it” just replayed again and again in their minds of the skeletons, especially Sans’ as he brought the needle in the bedroom. Y/N’s pale smile- the whitest he’d ever seen her, was haunting. She looked a lot like him.. She had dropped so much weight, her skull was poking through her skin and her ribs were visible. Her skeleton hands were so weak and her skin so pale it that it scared him. Was this still Y/N? He couldn’t tear reality from a nightmare and whenever he poked the needle into her arm, it all came crashing down on him.

Y/N gasped as the needle poked into her vein, making her tightly close her eyes and breath out weakly. “I love you, Sans. I wish things didn’t happen this way,” she sniffled, looking into her fiancé’s sockets. He had been frozen in spot there for a moment before Y/n spoke up, making him come to reality. “I wish it could be me who you’d marry, but I won’t ever make it out of this, baby. But whenever I’m in heaven or hell, I’ll see you and I’ll be watching you meet someone else.”

“Shut up,” he whispered almost inaudibly. Y/N started to cry. Tears poured from her eyes and her voice hitched in an almost hysterical cry, but the coughing and blood coming out of her lungs made it so difficult for her to say what she wanted.

“I’ll watch you meet another girl and,” she coughed, growing nauseous as she almost screamed in pain. “It won’t hurt as bad as this!”

“Stop baby,” Sans silently pleaded.

“And when you and her marry, know this is what I wanted.”

“Shut up!” Sans exclaimed as he pressed down on the needle, forcing the drugs out of it and into her veins. She gasped, crying out harder as it happened. But within moments, her head began to turn and her face went limp aside from her wide eyes. Sans just stood there and watched. Watched his hands shake as he pulled the needle out slowly, how his girl’s face and body reacted to the drugs, how she began to laugh and smile and cry as she bleed to death from her lungs. As her body took the overdose, he watched she went from behind happy to just…

Limp. She stopped moving and her eyes remained opened, her mouth a little gap, and her face paler then before. Sans just watched it all. He was so scared, he couldn’t have said anything loving before she went. He couldn’t even say I love you.

Hours passed before Papyrus knocked on the bedroom door. “Sans?” He called out, his voice low while doing his best to hide his real emotion. “Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Sans replied as if he wasn’t focused on answering. Slowly Papyrus opened the door, seeing his brother sitting in his chair, just looking at the body of his diseased fiancé. She must have died hours ago since her body was slowly beginning to change as nature ran its course. Her soul was open for taking and this would be the last one needed to cross the barrier, wouldn’t it?

But Papyrus knew he couldn’t do it. Even he couldn’t betray his brother like that. Not now, not with this soul.

“I never thought,” Sans started, “that this… this is how it would all end. She’s so beautiful, even like this. That fucking Brompton Cocktail made her as happy as I had seen her in over a month. And I couldn’t have even said goodbye or tell her I loved her.”

#Spotify #undertale x reader #underfell x reader #underfell sans #underfell sans x reader #underfell #undertale #Underfell sans x you #Underfell sans x y/n #sad :(

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 53

Chapter 53: “B06-32, Part 3”

Look at this man.. who decided we couldn’t see this absolute mess of a man animated??

He’s a complete disaster and yet we love him to death (literally) anyways. Also love how it’s his clothes that Gilda’s concerned with considering her dream is to wear all different kinds.

Damn, what do ya think his laugh would’ve sounded like? It’s hilarious how everyone is trying to get answers out of him yet Mark is over here solely focused on the cookies.. which are so old by the way. Those are certainly not the kind of sweets you want to eat, honey.

I still wanna know how the other farm’s IDs are sorted out. We know Grace Field’s numbers are just reversed, but I have no clue about the pattern behind Glory Bell’s or Grand Valley’s ordering systems. Tossing in letters makes it all  the more difficult to decode and whatever.. another reason why I can never remember anyone else’s IDs.

These poor kids are gonna hold onto this grudge for their whole lives the way they keep complaining about it. Kinda like we do with season two. Gotta love Ray’s face.

Simple question makes old man pause as horrible memories flash back into his mind. For real though, 13 years completely alone? No wonder he was seconds away from ending it all. Dude has faced his inner demons for way too long.

This man is trying so hard to push all those feelings aside. Sir if anyone has a right to be depressed here, it’s you. (And perhaps Ray, given he’s suffered almost as long).

Oh, they got this little thing called plot armor. It’s pretty neat. You should get yourself some.. please.

Completely fair. If a whole bunch of kids came outta nowhere and into my home looking for food and shelter, I’d be trying to kick them out too. Maybe that’s harsh, but I like my quiet, alone time and granted Yuugo has had that for 13 years and on the brink of insanity as a result of it, but still, having 15 kids half your age and younger suddenly barging in on your life is not ideal in any way, shape or form.

I mean..yeah? Sure?? They certainly had some close calls on the way here but I’m certain these kids have way more knowledge than your average child, Emma & Ray especially. (Although Ray was just a simple lit match away from death..)

I like how these panels give the impression that maybe Yuugo had killed off his family. Can’t deny it’s exactly what I believed for a long while til the story dove into his past more. (pfftt, young yuugo looks similar to ray from the back).

Him pulling the gun on Emma was a sudden surprise during a first read through too. Also, are the kids aware of what a gun is..? I assume so, given their reactions, obviously, and how Ray said in ch43 “I’m outnumbered and outgunned,” but how exactly did they learn about them? This has to be the first time they’ve actually seen one, unless the GF library mentioned them I guess? The hell kind of books did it have in there.. but anyways, let’s take a moment away from the panic to appreciate Thoma’s face.

A very protective head pat.. sorta.

Favorite panel/moment:

I could’ve chose one of the many panels of Yuugo, but I’ll go with the younger kids freaking out yet again because I just can’t get enough of their many expressions. And Ray’s almost head pat.

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #182daysoftpn #chidoroki used chatter

[alarrytale]

Regarding the McDonald's thing, the issue is that it's useless tiktok activism centering Westerners who wish to feel like they're helping rather than people who actually need help. People are congratulating themselves for somewhat impacting a fast food restaurant which has nothing to do with anything when they could be donating or writing their local politicians. And it is sadly one or the other because the average person isn't going to do more than a few small actions. I know you talk about Louis' image often so I rate you for openly saying it's about how this will be perceived, but on Xitter and Tiktok they insist it's about being disappointed in him and holding him accountable, and then when the facts are raised (that the boycott isn't actually doing anything) and their opinion doesn't change, it becomes clear that it's actually about how well they can promote him and defend him against H*rries and locals. Certain solo fans were absolutely loving holding this issue over H fan's heads and are simply disappointed they no longer have that card to play, and the whole thing is just really distasteful.

Hi, again anon!

Why is tiktok activism useless? I think tiktok is helping to spread information about the atrocities happening in Gaza to a group of people who otherwise wouldn't know, because they don't read or watch the news. It has a far reach and engages young people who were formerly apolitical and makes them aware, engaged and wanting to help. They are are also learning what to do to help out. It's centering westeners because Israel and Gaza is in Europe. There is war happening in Europe, so it's particularly relevant to europeans and westeners. I don't know what you mean by "westerners who wish to feel like they're helping rather than actually people who need help".

Like i said in the previous ask, not everyone is in a position to help out monitarily. Some live in countries with corrupt politicians or some have governments already helping. People will never feel like what they're doing is good enough when there is children dying. I also am pretty sure that if you're one of the people who has donated to Gaza, you won't go to a McDonalds for a meal afterwards if you're aware of the brand's involvement in the conflict. You absolutely can donate and avoid McD at the same time. You can also not buy a Sod* Str*am or other isr*elian products as long as you're aware of what to avoid buying.

Also, lesson learned for McDonalds is that your brand and reputation will suffer if you support genocide. Even if it's just one branch out of thousands doing it, it will hurt the brand as a whole. This is also lesson learned for other brands. So this might have prevented other brands from supporting I*rael. At least where i live, i see brands pulling out of deals and companies cut connections to Isr*ael everyday. Tiktok activism does help. Singning petitions helps, voting helps. Even if all you can do is spread the word, it helps. Everything helps. So do what you can to help. If the only thing you can do is avoiding McDonalds and telling others to do the same and explain to them why, then that helps too.

I still very much disagree with you that the boycott isn't helping. It is, both as a "see what happens when you support genocide" statement and as a warning to other brands to not do the same. The politicians do notice the opinions of the masses. And tiktok is an opinion forming place where you can influence and reach the masses. I happen to think that tiktok activism is more helpful than you picking up the phone and calling your representative. The threshold for a 14 year old girl to call a 60 year old man and lecture him in politics is also high. If the alternative is nothing or doing something, then do something. Boycotting works.

Fans are allowed to be disappointed in Louis. He's obviously not paying attention to world politics, discourses or public opinion. That's disappointing in itself. His ignorance is currently hurting his own brand and reputation. People aren’t happy with him. And again, i disagree that the boycott isn't helping (it is!). So when people are holding him accountable it's valid. He's promoting a brand currently feeding I*f soldiers while the children of Gaza is starving. He needs to be aware of it to protect his own brand. I'm pretty sure if he was aware he wouldn't do it.

#okay enough of this topic now #genocide tw #louis image #McDonalds #long post

[xelidonia]

Double Life SMP golden apple prompts

Just going to put these down before I watch ep5 for reference. Also, they're named after lines of "This Will End", because all good MCYT fic is based off of the Oh Hellos.

No, I am not afraid to die (it's every breath that comes before) -- Impulse and Bdubs are being hunted down, and one must eat the golden apple in order to have the strength to defend them both.

Heartache, I've heard, is part of life (and I have broken more and more) -- Martyn, holding a golden apple, threatens to kill Cleo unless Scott promises to sever their alliance and respect his soul connection to her. Eventually Scott promises to abandon her "until I'm red"... and the apple goes uneaten for now.

I can hope that this will end (with every line a comedy) -- Etho and Joel separately bargain for a golden apple, each saying they're going to kill the other, then it's revealed that they were planning to cure zombie villagers the whole time. "Were you ever worried?" "…No." "Aww, you trusted me?" "More like I knew I could just eat mine faster."

That we could learn to love without demand (but unreserved honesty) -- BigB receives a golden apple from Grian and debates whether to turn it over to Ren. He decides not to-- until Ren walks in on him holding it.

If I am not afraid to die (and you are crouching at my door) -- Jimmy can feel, deep down, that he's fated to die first. This is the way of the world. So he gets a golden apple for Tango, so his soulmate can have his own chance at life. Strangely, Tango doesn't seem happy about this gift.

And suffering is all there is to gain in life (then what is all this waiting for?) -- Pearl looks at her dog, thinks about her life, and then standing on the edge of her house, she eats her golden apple. Scott feels the regen and sees the hunger bar go up, and instantly knows what's coming. He tells Cleo to crit him with an axe, which she does just before Pearl can jump, neutralizing the apple's effect. She was betrayed at the last, but apple-less, she jumps again anyway to spite Cleo and they both lose.

I can see how this will end (in all its bitter tragedy) -- They've imagined this every day, talked about it at night, stewing and waiting while they eat and their soulmates take damage. Once they're both on their red lives, Scott and Cleo go to the Nether. They take golden apples. They eat them and jump into lava together, knowing they'll both die, but Pearl and Martyn will die first. They'll win this game like soulmates should: together.

I'll give you all I have to spend (and you'll give nothing back to me) -- Grain and Scar are trapped on a platform of wood that's burning up beneath them. There's no water bucket this time. The fall will deal 10 hearts damage. But, if one eats a golden apple and jumps, that one could survive while the other dies. Scar says that he knows Grian has an apple, because it was given to him by BigB. He tells him to use the apple and go live with the man who was obviously better for him, and only to take good care of the Jellies that survive.

I will wait for this to end (the back and forth, the battery) -- Bdubs is in the Deep Dark. Impulse is at home, tidying. Suddenly, Bdubs starts taking massive damage. Impulse eats all the food, but it's not enough. His hunger is full. He sees the apple, and eats it, giving them both regen. But it's not enough. Bdubs dies anyway, and all that Impulse could do is watch. He never gets to say goodbye.

For you, at last, to comprehend (the kind of love of which I speak) -- Scott and Cleo are building together when Scott finds a golden apple. They laugh and joke about it, saying that if they were normal soulmates they'd be pretty worried by it. They don't want to keep it around in case it falls into the wrong hands. Cleo decides to eat it, not for any nefarious purpose, not to rid herself of any bond, just to see how it tastes. And it is good.

#double life #dlsmp #dlsmp fanfic prompts #golden apple dlsmp #smajor1995 #zombiecleo #<-you can tell they're my faves #inthelittlewood #pearlescentmoon #impulsesv #bdubs #bdoubleo100 #bigbst4tz2 #renthedog #solidaritygaming #tangotek #smallishbeans #ethoslab #small etho #beanslab? #goodtimeswithscar #grianmc #dlshipping #trafficshipping #hermitshipping #<-just in case #mcyt #idubs #bimpulse #desert duo

[sardonic-the-writer]

Heyo, I’ve been having bad Eczema flares recently. I saw your ask about the tics with the Markiplier crew (+ Jack.) Is it possible for a Eczema!!reader, headcanon request (Markiplier crew again)? Obviously, if you don’t feel comfortable (or ain’t vibin’) don’t write, fam. Though, it’s not a widely written about common, chronic illness.

In case you’d like more information, Eczema is just basically dry, irritated (sometimes hivey) skin—a weakening of the moisture barrier. Gets worse in the heat or if the air is too cold (thus drier:) Lots of lotion to stay moist—Otherwise, your skin will start to crack and get rather painful to move. Worse are nights (for most sufferers) b/c the lack of distraction and daily hormone shifts (*hisses*  cortisol.) Very, very itchy and uncomfortable during the night. Like, you want to scratch into oblivion…but that’s going to hurt later. Not to mention, if it’s on your face like mine…Yikes on bad days. Don’t even want to look into the mirror.

Like I said, if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t write! I also get plenty of joy from your content either way!

Love and fluffy hugs,

—Anon 😊👍♥️

Oooh I live for writing about common things that don't get discussed a lot. (I.e Asthma, chronic pain, people who get triggered by touch, religious trauma, ect ect.) Lots of people look at and read fanfiction so I do the best I can to spread awareness about those sorts of things and how to deal with them properly; even if I deal with little to none of them. I do my research for fics.

But enough rambling. I'm sorry you've been dealing with that, but just know that I think people with flaws are fucking sexy. You got scars? Whether that be from pimples, self inflicted, or other, goddamn you look awesome. Shows how badass you are. And that isn't limited to having eczima or pigmentation. I've never seen an un-pretty/handsome Sardonic follower.

Sorry for the lecture lemme give you your headcanons now gjsnfjdn

Collectively all of them don't see a single fucking problem with how you look becuase of it. Anti might tease you a bit, but he shuts up when Dark and Engineer smack him upside the head for it (and if he dosent stop them Dark uses some of his powers to glue his mouth shut)

If you run out of creme or lotion and ask one of them to go get you some more, Wilford just leaves the room and comes back five minutes later with an armful of things that you need. Turns put he has a stash hidden away in case something like this happens. They all contributed to it a little in their own ways to! Anti supplied the fancy lotion, Anti threw junk food in there for comfort, ect ect

#mark #mark x reader #markiplier x reader #markiplier #engineer mark #engineer mark x reader #dark #darkiplier x reader #darkiplier #dark x reader #anti x reader #anti #antisepticeye x reader #antisepticeye #wilford warfstache x reader #wilford warfstache #wilford x reader #wilford #yancy #yancy x reader #actor mark x reader #actor #actor x reader #actor mark #actors #illinois x reader #illinois

[polarfog]

Self Loathing for Bad Things Happen Bingo

Whumptober Day 2: Prompt: "I call your name, but you won't call back"

Undertale Fanfic: The Mistake

Sans was laying on the couch, skull buried into the pillows. "Brother! You have to realize Frisk is allowed to choose who they become friends with!" 

"It's not that, bro." It truly wasn't. It was that when at MTT's restaurant, Frisk accepted Sans' invitation. Sans guessed he screwed up when he told Frisk they would be dead where they stood. 

He didn't expect Frisk's generally neutral and peaceful face to turn into a cold and hateful one. "I guess you hoped I'd die then." 

"No, no." He tried to hurriedly appease the anomaly. "I never wanted you to die."

"You are nothing but a liar Sans. Just like every other monster." Frisk stood up and left. Obviously, they didn't see Asgore, as they never entered the judgment hall. 

Sans looked everywhere for them, he couldn't believe he lost track of the human! He spent days hunting for the human, before finding them, sleeping behind the wall in Waterfall. 

"Kid, you're gonna catch a cold." Frisk said nothing, brushing past him, and testing his ability to run, as he had to stay near Frisk, but keep enough distance, to keep them freaking out further. "Let's talk, Frisk." 

Frisk stopped, turned around and shook their head, "There's nothing to talk about. If you truly care about me, leave and never come back." 

"Kid." Frisk looked Sans into the eyes, "I don't want to be friends with a psychopath. Maybe you should tell Toriel about your hatred of me."

Speak of the devil, Toriel was now in Waterfall, "You must be freezing. What do you mean, my child?" Toriel asked as she warmed the human up with fire. 

"He watched me suffer. He told me if not for the promise he broke, he'd kill me." Sans watched as Toriel escorted the child away. He assumed she was taking them to the Ruins. He wasn't even spared a glance.

Sans tried knocking on the door the next day. Instead of a joke he got a, "Never come back here." From the lady behind the door.

The rumor of the fight was rampant. Many people were upset Frisk didn't want to exit the Ruins. Undyne tried to call Frisk only to get silence as an answer. When she knocked on the Ruins door, a note slipped out, "Was your friendship a lie too?" Was all it said.

Undyne was very upset, and Papyrus explained Frisk's change in attitude. Sans never hated having Undyne as a boss more than he did that day. She was very aggressive and was even more angrier about his slacking off than usual. "If it wasn't for your brother, you'd be fired!" Sans toed the line a tad more in order to keep her appeased. 

"I'm a bad person." "Lazy, not bad!" Papyrus corrected. "Get your butt up. You have to eat." Sans went through the motions, he ate the bare minimum, was sleeping less than usual, and was generally just isolated. 

Papyrus was worried. Sans no longer tells jokes, even quitting his stand up comedian job. If he didn't get Sans up or remind him to eat or sleep, he wouldn't at all. Papyrus read himself and Sans the bedtime stories because Sans hasn't touched any object of entertainment anymore. It was like he was an empty shell.

"Sans, why do you think you're a bad person?" 

"I had one job. I didn't do it. I broke a promise." Sans answered as he picked at his food, "Papyrus, I'm not hungry." 

"You said that the last five days. Eat!" Sans ate some food, forcing it down, despite not eating in he doesn't remember how long. "Sans, you have to forgive yourself. You can't keep living like this." Sans pushed back the meal when Papyrus yelled, "You are not leaving the table until your dinner is completed. I will not have you turning to dust.

#badthingshappenbingo #whumptober2023 #2 #lyrics #undertale #fic #undertale fanfiction #writing #fanfiction

[recoverycat]

My experience with weight gain

One of the most central reasons I always ended up relapsing before was because I just could not handle the weight gain. My endless cycle went something like this:

Restricting to what my ED redeemed an “okay enough” weight > deciding to up my intake enough to be able to live a little > in a matter of a couple of weeks suddenly gaining a lot of weight and mass > spiralling into relapse and the cycle repeats.

Each time I kept beating myself up over gaining weight and my ED kept shouting at me that it was obviously because I got too comfortable and wasn’t being vigilant enough around food. I don’t even think I can stomach writing down the obscene insults I drowned myself in.

I went on a pilgrimage, for instance. I had been relapsed for a while when I spontaneously decided to do it. I wanted something drastic to change within me and I had heard pilgrimages do that for people, besides, I love hiking and was itching to spend 2 months in my hammock tent. I had a measly month to try to eat enough to recover my body to carry 20kg on my back while walking day in and day out. I, of course, didn’t manage to fuel myself porperly and I started my pilgrimage weak and starved. I couldn’t even squat with my pack when we started, though after a few days of absolutely suffering my way along the pilgrim path and eating more than I ever have, I quickly got much stronger. It got easier, I could squat my pack no problem after a few days. But a week snails by and I notice I’ve gotten a lot bigger around my thighs and waist. I couldn’t take it. I had a mental breakdown and had to go home where I relapsed yet again. My ED screaming the entire time about how stupid I am for thinking I could live a little.

That’s how it’s always been for me. I couldn’t understand how I so quickly “got fat” as my ED wouldn’t shut up about. Am I really completely untrustworthy? Gluttonous? Maybe intuitive eating is a wish fulfilling sham, I thought to myself.

An integral part of my recovery came from accepting that I am genetically large. I have very buff peasant genes with a tall, broad stature to boot. It wasn’t fat I magically soaked up, I am one of those women who build a lot of muscle very quickly. And I revel in it now. After accepting that I am big and strong, I found joy in that. After I started eating properly and healing my relationship with exercise, I haven’t had any chronic pain. Everything is so easy now. Walking, running, sewing, chores, cooking. I used to be bedbound for years because I starved myself and then overate, neither of which does anything other than make me feel absolutely wrecked. Now I’m thinking about pursuing my dream career as a folk dress maker which I never thought was possible when I was riddled with pain and fatigue. I’m actually alive for the first time in my life, I feel.

As a little sidenote, that’s not to say fat is bad. I’ve gained back fat as well in recovery which I’m also happy about as I’m now coushioned and can roll around on the floor and sit with my back resting against the wall without pain.

#joyful movement #eating disorder #eating disoder recovery #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #atypical anorexia