#otp: without you my life would be different it would be empty

[baronessblixen]

On My Way To You

Season 6, angst(ish). They're driving and Scully is thinking about things. Like getting out of the car or not getting out of the car.

Wc: 1,597.

(written for Year of the OTP. The words I used for March are: road trip, fresh starts, acceptance)

Tagging @today-in-fic

There are no road signs to determine where they’re going. It’s just like Scully wanted it to be. She glances to her side where Mulder is fast asleep, his body at a strange angle. The sight puts a smile on her face, despite knowing he will complain about a crick in his neck later when he wakes up. Her hand flies to her own neck where the tension sits, spreading out. For once, it’s not a case. For once, they haven’t had to risk their health or their lives. A run-of-the-mill case, the only oddness its ordinariness.

Earlier, when she said she wanted to drive, Mulder handed over the keys without a single complaint. Long gone are the days where he shot her a questioning look, reluctant to part with the keys. Or maybe he’s noticed her subdued mood, her clipped answers. How often she’s stared into the distance these last few days, her thoughts everywhere except with their case. If he did notice, he didn’t mention it. But he let her drive, leaning his head against the headrest, and closing his eyes. Trusting her.

“What if we take a little detour?” She asked as they passed the town sign, half hoping he was already asleep.

“Hm?” He replied and by the rustling she heard, she knew he had turned his head to her. “Where are we going?”

She took her time answering, staring straight ahead. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully.

“Okay,” was all Mulder said. “Wake me if you get tired.”

“I won’t.”

He made a non-committal noise before he touched her thigh. She didn’t startle, his touch and his warmth welcome. “Wake me,” he said again. “I want to know where we end up.” He grinned at her before he resumed his original position.

That was hours ago, and they haven’t said a word since. Mulder’s breathing is even; she’s glad he’s catching up on sleep, knowing he never gets enough. For a while, she listens to the radio. First a classic rock station, then classical music. If only her mind wasn’t so loud. She tries to drown out the voices that keep chattering. The scenes that keep repeating.

It happened last weekend. The moment she can’t stop thinking about. She knew something was different the second she walked into her mother’s house. The uneasiness stayed with her as she took off her coat, as her mother kissed her cheek, smiling so hard that her cheeks were red.

“I have a surprise for you,” she’d said and that’s when Scully knew for certain. The surprise wasn’t her brother Bill, who was standing in the kitchen with a beer, talking to another man and laughing. A knot appeared in her stomach and as if sensing her uneasiness, her mother took her hand and squeezed it.

“Dana,” she said. “This is Brandon.”

“Hi,” he said, grinning at her with perfect teeth.

“Hello,” she mumbled like a grumpy teenager forced to join the family downstairs.

“Brandon goes to my church and he’s- oh well, you two can talk amongst yourself!” She pushed Dana towards him and as if on cue, Bill Jr. nodded at the other man and walked out of the kitchen, leaving her and the stranger alone.

“I thought you knew,” Brandon said, sounding apologetic. “Your mother said you were, um, single. That you were looking for a fresh start, just like me. She said we should… meet. She didn’t tell you?”

“She didn’t.”

“Does that mean you’re not single?” The corners of his lips twitched, showing his disappointment.

“I’m…”

“She’s single,” Bill Jr. waltzed back in, exchanging his empty beer bottle with a fresh one. He offered another one to Brandon, too, who declined. He didn’t ask his sister and instead grinned at her. “Right, Dana? You’re single. You’re not married. There’s no one in your life. There’s just… your work.”

Fuck you, she thought. She would have said it if it hadn’t been for Brandon standing there.

“Brandon, tell her about yourself. You’re gonna love this, Dana.”

“I’m a veterinarian,” Brandon said, uncertainty in his voice. “I have a five-year-old daughter called Emily and-“

“Thank you, Brandon,” Scully said, tears stinging her eyes. Her brother was still grinning, making her wonder how he could be this cruel. For the first time ever since they were children, she felt violent towards him.

“That’s exactly what you want, isn’t it?” Bill Jr. kept going as if Brandon wasn’t there. “You want a family.”

“I came here to have dinner with my mom,” she said, turning to Brandon. “I’m sorry you were caught up in this.”

“Mom was trying to do you a favor.”

“It was nice to meet you, Brandon,” Scully said, ignoring her brother. Bill Jr. was on her heels when she fled the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“To tell mom I’m leaving.”

“You can’t just go.”

“Watch me.”

“Dana?” Her mother came into view, her eyes darting between her two children. “You’re leaving? I know, I know. I should have told you about Brandon. Bill said it would be better as a surprise.”

“Thank you, mom,” she said, hugging her mother. Despite everything, her mother’s arms felt safe and comforting. She squeezed her eyes shut, tightening her arms around her mother. “I can’t stay. I can’t-“

“You’re throwing everything away, Dana. First your career, now you’re running away. Why don’t you get to know Brandon first? He has a child, a stable job. You have to accept that you can’t go on like this. Risking your health and… Brandon wants to settle down.”

“But I don’t.” The moment she said it she realized it was true. When she said to Mulder that she wanted to get out of the car, she didn’t envision what her family so obviously envisioned for her. She thought she did. Only then did she understand that it wasn’t at all what she wanted. She didn’t want a Brandon, a ready-made family. As easy as it sounded. All she wanted, what she imagined was sharing her life with someone, going home with…

Mulder. It all came back to Mulder.  

Thinking back to that night, to leaving her mother there in the door, to her own realization, she has to fight back tears. Her mother has tried calling, has tried to apologize. Scully promised to call her back as soon as she got back home. Except that she doesn’t want to get back home, not yet. Maybe Mulder had the right idea all along. Keep going, keep driving.

“Are we there yet?” Mulder asks sleepily as if her thoughts have woken him up.

“Did I wake you?” She asks.

“My neck hurts,” he complains. “Where are we?”

“I have no idea. Does it matter?”

“You would tell me if something was the matter, right? I mean if it was something serious. Like… like what was wrong last year.” She hears the concern in his voice and feels his eyes on the side of her face.

“It’s not the cancer, Mulder. You can stop worrying about that.”

“So, this is just a regular road trip, huh? You won’t hear me complain. Kersh might but that makes it all the more exciting, doesn’t it?” He chuckles. “But I’m also here, you know,” he says, his voice gentler, the humor gone. “If you want to talk about whatever is making you go over the speed limit.”

“I’m not – oh.” She stares at the numbers there and takes her foot off the gas pedal until she’s just under the speed limit again. Mulder cracks open a sunflower seed, and the familiar noise helps her breathe more easily. She sees it now, what Mulder meant by saying that this is a life. It is their life. She doesn’t know about him, but she wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. She touches her neck, where the tension begins to ease.  

“Your neck giving you trouble too?” Mulder asks, as perceptive as ever.

“Just a bit,” she assures him. “We’ve been driving for a while.”

“Do you want me to take over?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Scully, it’s been hours. You must be tired.”

“I’m not.” That at least is not a lie, but Mulder’s eyes remain on her. She feels how worried he is, how much he wants to know what’s bothering her.

“At this rate,” he says, cracking another seed, “we could end up in Vegas. What do you think, Scully? Want to gamble away all your savings?”

“Maybe another time,” she says, a smile tugging at her lips. She’s thankful for the change in topic and Mulder’s attempt at humor.

“We could go see Elvis,” he goes on. “Or do you want to get married?”

He asks in jest. Of course, he does. And yet, and yet. Her heart leaps, her mind reels. What if? They’d still do this. Spend too many hours in cars, run into the darkness, and try to find the truth. But at the end of it all, they’d go home together, tear down that last wall between them, and share all of each other. Her mouth feels dry. She doesn’t want to get out of the car. She wants to stay in the car and keep doing this. With Mulder. Why not choose forever?

“Maybe I do,” she says, shooting him a look. She doesn’t expect the small smile around his lips. He doesn’t look surprised, no, he looks happy. He looks as if he’s been waiting for her answer for years.

“Then keep driving, G-Woman,” he says.

#i have no idea what this is #i fear it's bad #but if it is #still yay me cause i have written a thing #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

[fang-and-feather]

Written for: Fluffy February Prompt 1: Hello from @fluffyfebruary;

Year of the OTP February Prompt: different from @yearoftheotpevent;

Fluffbruary Day 1 Prompt(s): clue and museum by  @fluffbruary;

and Be my Valentine 2.0 Prompt 1: "I've been hit with Cupid's arrow." by @xxsycamore and @chaosangel767

Ikemen Vampire, Soulmates AU, Stays in MC's Timeline - Comte de Saint-Germain/OC

Are soul mates' meetings really destined when, despite all the clues, it happen by means of coincidences? At least Hikari is not certain if it was fate or chance that led her to meet her soulmate and, even if it was fate, does it guarantee se is ready to face the truth of that love when they are from very different worlds?

This chapter took longer than I expected. I never realized how long conversations are difficult to write. Also realized how little I know about Comte, so sorry if anything sounds odd

AO3 Version / IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist / Previous Chapter

It was Hikari’s first trip to Paris, and it had been short, but she was impressed at how many things there could look fancy and cozy at the same time.

The place wasn’t too full of people, but not completely empty either. It was great for a private conversation without them being completely alone.

Until they got their orders, they only exchanged pleasantries - mostly le Comte asking about her trip - and Hikari felt that rush of butterflies of a first date with a new guy.

It could have been a normal date, if she wasn’t still a little shocked at the door that disappeared. And that was her first question as soon as they got their food.

“I would love to continue our more casual talk, but can you explain what happened to that door first? They don’t just disappear like that and you knew it would happen.”

“Yes, I did. I am the reason the door was there.” Le Comte said it with such casualty, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Well, for him it might be. “That door was connected to another in the 19th century. It is not the original door, so it disappears once closed.”

“You said it was there because of you, but you can’t have come from another time if you closed the door and can’t open it back.”

Hikari wasn’t saying that she believed him, but she wanted to see where that story would go.

“The me you met first was. Since the last time I have been in this century, I had a mark, telling me the day I would meet my soulmate. The original door is in my mansion, so I used it to come here ahead of time, so I had better chances of meeting you. I was tempted to take you back with me when we first met, not because you were my soulmate, but because I felt a connection between us, but I knew I couldn’t, so I went back to my time.”

“And the you who’s here now?” A part of her didn’t want an answer.

“I am from this time.”

“Are you trying to tell me you lived all this time? Or soulmates are bound across reincarnations, even if the marks disappear when one dies?”

“I lived every moment of it, so I had a lot of time to think whether I wanted to approach you as your soulmate or not. And I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to see you again, but you were about to go through the door my past self left open, and I had to stop you.”

“Wouldn’t he… I mean, you, be happier if I was did, so you wouldn’t have to wait all this time?”

“You could never make it to the other side. And if you did, would you be happy? Chasing me to another time would mean giving up on the life you have here. Your family and friends, your job and many comforts of your current life. I didn’t want to take it from you because of my own selfishness.”

How could she believe such a tale? Hikari wanted to, but the idea of an immortal time traveler sounded too much like Doctor Who - which, again, she only knew about because of her little sisters. Hikari had never realized how they influenced her thought process - that it scared her.

Why was it such a bad thing, though?

“That is very considerate of you. But that’s not all, is it? You said you weren’t going to approach me when you came to the museum today. Why?”

“We are inherently different, and I still don’t know if we can bridge that gap between us. I want to believe we can, but I also have seen how failed attempts leave people broken in their wake. And if you decide you don’t want to try, I won’t blame you. Once we start getting closer, it will be difficult for me to let you go, so I really want to make sure you know what you are getting into if you choose me.”

The problem was that, as implausible as the story sounded, when Hikari looked into his eyes, he seemed genuine enough. And she had gotten good at reading people with a tricky friend like Reina.

Her heart and mind pulled in different directions, and she didn’t know what to follow.

At least she had a break to think and calm down while she got another drink.

“And what am I getting into, exactly?” Hikari asked as soon as she sat back in her chair. She had decided to stop being scared of something she clearly wanted. “What really is you, to be alive all this time?”

“I am a vampire.”

Hikari almost choked on her drink. She had casually thought about it, but now he was saying she had been right.

But after the initial shock, instead of finding herself scared, she could only think how cool it was, and how a man like that had no reason to be interested in her, soulmate or not, yet the moment they were having couldn’t be called not being interested.

So her fairytale was similar to Beauty and the Beast then? She could deal with that.

Maybe she wasn’t the sane one in her family, after all. She just needed a moment with her thoughts to stop letting her mind make her so critical.

“I don’t think that is much of a problem. Not for me. But are you sure you want something from a human like me?”

Surprise flashed in his eyes for a second, then he chuckled and held her hand.

“From the moment I saw you, I couldn’t imagine anyone else.”

“Don’t you think all soulmates feel like that, even before they know? It happened to me too, but I can’t imagine why people are drawn to complete strangers.”

“I don’t think so. I think soulmates are destined to meet, but not always to love each other. The reason people are attracted to each other without knowing them is because what they first see leaves a good impression, even if it is something minimal that others wouldn’t have noticed.”

“I never thought of it this way. Love at first sight has to do with good first impressions, but it doesn’t always work because first impressions can be wrong. Other times, they are just a small piece of a whole, and the full picture isn’t as pleasant.”

“And even knowing that, do you want to know me? We live completely different lives, and, in a long-term relationship, we might have to make compromises. Are you sure you want to try?”

Hikari sighed, but smiled at him, tightening her hold on his hand.

“I do. I know the differences between us are bigger than most couples and that this relationship won’t be easy. Just the fact we live in different countries is already a challenge, and a long distance relationship can only go so far. But I would rather it doesn’t work because we decided, in the future, that these bridges are impossible to cross, then because we were afraid to try.”

“Even if I say I might want to turn you in the future?”

“I don’t know about the future. If we go that far, I might not mind.”

“If you are so determined, then I look forward to getting to know you better.” He pulled her hand closer, and kissed the back of it, without breaking eye contact.

Hikari’s heart sped up and heat rushed to her face.

“Me too.”

She had never been so hopeful after a date before. Even if their future wouldn’t be perfect, Hikari knew she would enjoy every moment of it.

IkeVamp Masterlist / General Masterlist

#be my valentine ccc #fluffbruary 2023 #fluffy february #YOTP 2023 #ikevamp #ikevamp comte #comte de saint-germain x oc #be my valentine content creation challenge #soulmates au #fang's writing #ikemen vampire #fanfiction #ikevamp fanfic #oc: hikari #love like a fairytale

[loveisalwaystheanswer]

I wanted to update my answer and write some of my thoughts out of it into a different post.

I was making gifs of Tommy from series 1 and found myself thinking of how he's changed and not in a good way.

When I saw 3.04 episode for the first time my heart broke. I remember myself feeling enormous fury towards Tommy. And it felt like I was living Grace who found out that Tommy was cheating on her. Just imagine. I wanted to ripe him into pieces in the moment when he allowed Tatiana to wear his coat that Grace was wearing during their wedding day. I wanted to cry so much (and I did) when he allowed her to stay in their room, use her perfume and had sex with her in there. It. Just. Broke. Me. I was in pain. Literally. For me it was the worst moment in the show. No kidding. I know she's a manipulative woman, I know he's grieving and she uses it, but also he is not a dog to obey. Of course I accepted it and understood it later. But I think this is the moment when I started to not give a fuck about his love life. Because since then it all had spiraled into abyss. My heart has been broken by this show so many times times and there were hardly a few moments to mend it.

I have my otp and I will never accept someone else because I don't think SK is capable to write it good and right and with respect to Grace's legacy.

I remember myself feeling sympathy for him till that episode. But since then I can occasionally feel sorry for him and that's all. No more sympathy. I was just so pissed off. Yes, I have the explanations of his behaviour, but not excuses. Not anymore. Nah. He acts like an asshole since Grace's death. Maybe it's time to bear some responsibility for your actions, no? Yes, he's traumatized. But it doesn't mean he can treat people around him like shit. He became the main whore, the main villain of this story. I know how hard it is to separate his actions from Cillian Murphy's handsomeness as Thomas Shelby. His charisma overshadowes his brutal, selfish, disgusting actions. Tommy Shelby from s1 bewitched me since the very first time I saw him so this why it's so devastating for me to see him turning into what he is turning into.

And all of this shit is so disappointing. Because I remember him in series 1. Oh gosh, how good he was! Do you remember how he cared for those people who are close to him? Do you remember him being vulnerable? Do remember him being cared about losing the horse? I love series 1 so much and I keep saying it all the time. It's a masterpiece for so many reasons. But Tommy Shelby s1 is its treasure. Complex, deep, contradictory and sensitive character. And in some way more open not only to people around him, but to the audience too. Yes, he did bad things too but you could still understand his motivation and feel sorry for him. Because we've been able to see his vulnerable and broken side. He had good intentions in general without his swollen God Complex that we've seen in s5 and his "empty throne". He was a man who cared for people. A good man who does bad things.

Now it feels like he is just a walking suffering shell. He is literally not here. Drowned into his pain and suffer. Living, but not alive. "I don't like the fucking life", "Do you feel anything? You talk as if you're watching everything on a screen". He uses his own family to achieve what he's set out to achieve without actually caring about them.

While I was writing all this stuff I've catched myself thinking that I would like to see him at WWII. Because somehow it suits him more than his semi-civilian life. He told it himself before while he was burying his horse: “Dangerous, my beautiful horse. Too wild to race. Wouldn’t take the reins or the whip. Should have been a war horse. Got tired of the pasture. Couldn’t stick the peace and quiet, gave up on life… and is now free.”

I enjoyed seeing his communications with Barney in s5. He reeeally knows how to get through to his men. And he seems more real, you know? It's been a pleasure to watch. So yes, I wanna see him at WWII but without all the women who - god only knows why - can't resist the charming twitching thing in his pants. I'm actually tired of that part of the plot.

1/2 (x)

#I will make a gifset which will warm my heart #thomas shelby #tommy shelby s1 #liata notes #peaky blinders

[marciego]

30, 34, 46 for Leon and Violetta if you still do the OTP ask

always for my loves <3

30. Your OTP gets to pick out each other's outfits; what is each wearing?

vilu would definitely turn leon into an actual real life prince charming, girl she'd be willing to go get a white horse if she has to. like i really think she'd just LOVE to get the prince out of him, and he'd indulge her, putting on his best princely act just for her. she'd be having the time of her life with this, all happy to see him like this, but at some point leon would break character for less than 0.3s and have That One arogant and smug expression at her delight and she'd be hit by the urge to jump on him and kiss him senseless right here and right now. like yes she loves seeing him as a full prince, but she fell in love with her princely arrogant bitch tired of everything and everyone <3

i honestly don't think that as a whole leon cares much for what vilu is wearing, he loves whatever she picks because he sees her clothes make her feel comfortable and happy and it's all he wants for her, plus he thinks she's gorgeous no matter what she's wearing, so i think if she let him pick her outfit without any limitations at first he'd be a bit hesitant, because he doesn't have that many things he'd wish to see her wear? But Then he'd realize that there's one thing, one part of his life that's extremely important to him that violetta has always been an outsider to: motocross. and then he'd Know what he wants her to wear, and it's absolutely those ugly ass motocross overalls and everything that goes with it, and it'd surprise vilu at first, but sure she'd go for it, and i can so so so see her going all out on him, putting on a whole act, getting on his bike acting all confident and saying random motocross sentences she's picked from when she comes to see him race and hears everyone talking, she'd have No idea what she's saying and she wouldn't be making any sense but she'd be so confident about it you wouldn't even notice, and leon looks at her indulging him and pouring everything she has into that and he'd fall a tiny bit more in love with her

34. Who's more likely to tell a dirty joke or story to make the other blush?

neither of them, leon does enjoy using his charm against vilu to get her all flustered but dirty jokes or telling everyone about his sex life is Definitely not his way to go about it

46. Would they get frisky at the movies by themselves?

it all depends on the movie really, if they're both into the movie vilu is busy commenting and getting really really into it and leon got his little soft face on the whole time trying to follow both the movie and vilu, but oh boy if the movie is boring it's a whole different story

it'd always be vilu who initiates it and honestly she'd have mildly successful results because she'd definitively have quite a lot of convincing to do here, like i don't see leon getting into the mindset as easily, but vilu would love the dark and empty room atmosphere, and honestly i think that out of all the violetta characters vilu would be one of the most creative with her sex life, like she'd just LOVE to experience new things, try out different stuff, both in terms of location, sexual acts..., like just have a lot of diversity in what she's doing, she'd always be willing to discover new stuff and she'd go for it with the same sweetness she has for everything in her life, and trying to go for it with leon at the movies is no different, she'd be giggling and being so sweet and fun and she'd tease him and tease him just to see if there's a possibility of him saying yes

if leon is into the movie it'll most likely be a no, but even if generally speaking i think he'd definitely have a harder time actually having sex in public, i mean if the movie is boring and the other option he has is his amazing gf making it extremely clear she wants him what do you want him to do, at some point you just gotta go for it and make her happy she deserves it

#honestly putting a read more break was Not necessary but you know #better be safe than sorry and all of that #anyway they <3 #thank you for the ask!

[epiphanyrook]

Season 1 - Season 2

#detective anna #detective anna edit #anna mironova #yakov shtolman #anna x shtolman #anna x yakov #otp: without you my life would be different it would be empty #otp #period drama #perioddramaedit #perioddramasource #perioddramacentral #russianperioddrama #otpsource #tv show #mine

[shinayashipper]

Hello! I am new here. I came (and stayed) for the pretty art. Who is Shinaya and why do you ship them together?

OMGOMGODNX OKAY OKAY

first of all THANK YOU very much for liking my arts! Hope you enjoy your stay here! <3

SO UH SORRY THIS WILL GET KIND OF LONG: ShinAya is my OTP EVER, I think the first ever ship that I've ever ship This Much, my teen days def is Shaped by Them 😂 and I can ramble on and on about them and possibly overwhelm you. I will (try to) keep it simple for you though! Because their story IS Confusing and it goes Deep, it deals with character death, depression, suicide, etc. BUT I will try to explain the Base for shinaya only 😂

*SUICIDE is the core major trigger warning for their story so please keep it in mind.

-

ShinAya is the ship name for Shintaro and Ayano, they are central characters for the multimedia series Kagerou Project (it got Vocaloid song series with animated music videos, manga, novel, and anime, and while the core story is the same, all media tells different timelines and different endings for each timeline- *notes: this series got time-traveling / time-loop in it, but you don't have to understand that part yet to get to know about shinaya's base)

Shintaro is the boy with black hair and red jacket

Ayano is the girl with brown hair and red scarf

This is how they look in the anime:

When I said it gets long IT GETS LONG SORRY:

To make it short (well this is still long but...):

Shintaro was a natural-born genius and he always gets perfect score in all subjects (though he Hates PE and is actually a scaredy-cat), he gets a bit aloof and sees other people as beneath him because of it, basically he's an Asshole. He didn't have any friends and kind of refuses to expand his social circle until he met Ayano in middle school. Ayano was just the opposite of him, she's nice and friendly and smiles a lot, and she's also not the smartest in class 😂 She always gets low scores during tests. As Fate seems to think they're destinied to be Close to one another, they just had to sit next to each other in class.

Ayano slowly worms her way to Shintaro's heart and without realizing it, they've spent a lot of time together and Shintaro even tutored her on the subjects she's bad at. Ayano might've been Shintaro's first ever friend and the one who still treated him kindly despite everything. Shintaro started to open up to her and showed her the sides that he never showed anyone: like how he hated PE class and how he liked reading romance stories and cute stuff.

They're still close even until high school, which they're once again in the same class together and sit next to each other. Ayano was the one who introduced Shintaro to their other friends in high school, and Shintaro slowly opened up to them too. He's less of an asshole and more of an awkward teenager who struggles in communicating and be social.

Everything's fine and normal, until one day Shintaro found Ayano crying alone in an empty classroom. It was the first time he ever saw his close friend Ayano who was always so cheerful and sweet cried like that. Shintaro got scared of many things, and after a moment of hesitation, he decided to leave Ayano alone and pretended nothing happened, like he didn't see a thing. He didn't know that one decision to ignore her would have so much impact on his life.

Because soon after, they've found out that Ayano's dead. It was a suicide, she jumped from the school's rooftop.

Shintaro was so shaken that he dropped out of school and shut himself out of the world for 2 years. He thought it might be his fault, because he didn't know a thing about her, because he didn't reach out to her. He also can't find the real answer to why she did it. He's so smart, he should've known, but he just couldn't understand it.

The effect Ayano's death got to him is so huge, in one of the worst timeline endings, Shintaro killed himself after killing his other friend because he just couldn't think straight anymore </3

BUT!!! This series is actually a fantasy story too so- What is exactly the truth behind Ayano's "death"? Was it truly driven by depression alone or something else? 👀 Honestly it would get Even Longer if I elaborate on it so I won't do it here 😂

ALSO!! Shintaro canonically loves music and it was implied that he created songs too, and one of the songs he made is "Transparent Answer" which is about his lament on Ayano's death and how she means a lot to him and that he would never forget her. (of course the real song is created by the creator but in the canon-verse, it's implied that Shintaro's the one who made the song and it FUELED my shinaya heart like no other)

WHICH YOU CAN Hear and watch the animated MV here with english subs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_B-HCMgoxg

-

AS FOR THE REASON WHY I SHIP THEM, hmmm I really don't know, I just remember their story Hit me So Much and little me just haven't found a love story like theirs before. Transparent Answer was the first MV of kagerou project that I watched and I was just so TOUCHED by it like "THERE'S NO WAY THE STORY ENDS LIKE THIS!!" and I started searching the series up. The more I found out about them and dug deeper into their story, the more I love Them and the whole series (ofc they all got their flaws, but I've already fallen in love even with all the flaws 😂)

People these days mostly argue that shinaya doesn't really have any romantic appeal or that they're problematic, well that is just for you to decide! But for me there's just nothing that can beat their tragedy, I just love them so much.

To ease your heart, they will be reunited again in the climax of the story <3

#SHINAYA #omg when I said I Love Them: I LOVE THEM OKAY #this gets Long be prepared pls #JZHDVMBJDJMNBMJNXD #THERE'S A REASON WHY I'M THE SHINAYASHIPPER

[multisfabulis]

Death’s Hypocrisy and Life’s Antithesis

Word Count: 3636

TW: Discussion of death and suicide

I can feel my soul wanting to leave my body as I type this out because I'm super nervous over how this will do. Not only is this the third ship fic I've written this year, this is both my first BSD fic (a fandom I've been in since 2016) and my first DazAtsu fic (my OTP since my foray into BSD in 2016) AND it's the last fic I'll have written and posted for 2021. At least I fulfilled my promise of writing more than two fanfics this year!

So how did this idea come about? Well, I've had this HC scenario of Atsushi being in a suicidal state of mind and Dazai helping him out of it while making himself out to be a hypocrite since 2016 (I believe) but I never thought I'd turn it into a fic due to lack of confidence in my abilities and not knowing how to flesh it out beyond the bare bones. Then, over the course of time as I worked on my confidence and my skills, I eventually came around to the idea of turning my HC into a fic. Then Wan! happened (Episode 11 or 12, you know which moment I'm talking about specifically) and I stewed around for months until this fic came into existence earlier this month.

I didn't even plan on this being my first fic in either category! I planned on my first BSD being a SigAtsu fic because I enjoy living in rarepair hell and my first DazAtsu fic was going to be a Kagerou Days fic with death and tragedy but then Wan! happened and I postponed both. That was honestly for the best.

I want to apologize for the philosophizing, Dazai and Atsushi possibly being OOC, and for the pacing. Although I wrote this with the purpose of posting it once it was done, I also wrote it with the intent of indulging in 19 year old me's HC and I'm fully aware this would never happen in canon as it stands now. Still, I hope this fic is enjoyable to read, despite its issues!

One last thing, I do plan on writing more BSD fics! Some of them are DazAtsu while others are for other ships and a couple are even crossover fics! Those will be posted sometime in the future but this is me testing the waters for now!

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     What is life? A question humans have asked themselves dozens upon hundreds upon thousands of times throughout their existence and it was a question that seemed to have no “correct” answer. If you were to ask ten random strangers plucked off the street what life was, they were bound to give you wildly differing answers. A person’s interpretation of the concept relied on a multitude of varying factors, such as their past, their present, and what they believed would be their future. They also didn’t remain static; they could change due to any number of reasons and in a matter of years, months, weeks, or even days, depending on what happened. The answer was ever evolving, making it unlikely, if not impossible, to ever truly know it.

     For Dazai Osamu, his answer was this. Life was dark, full of death and despair with no end in sight, no hope of it ever getting better. It was hard to tell when it began or even if it “began”, suggesting the possibility he’d known of a life without the perpetual feeling of emptiness within it. Sure, his life went from absolute certainties to hypothetical implications over the past few years of his existence but it didn’t erase his insatiable desire for death. It always followed him, whether in the world of the living or in dreams, it stuck to him like a second skin. Life, as it stood now, was tortuous torment, something he became accustomed to long, long ago.

     The question he sought the answer to was, what was death? It was the end of life, the state of being dead. Children could understand such a concept once it was explained to them in easy and simple terms. However, what he really wanted to know was “What is death?” Would it give him the peace he lacked? Would death be able to fill the void that was inside him? Did death really mean the end of someone’s life or was it a term people used to describe the process of a soul leaving its mortal vessel to move on to the afterlife to exist for however much longer? Then there was the belief that someone was never truly gone if they lived on in others’ memories of them. It’d be just his luck to die only to realize a facsimile of him was still alive by that method. He’d never receive any rest, if that were the case.

     It was another one of those moods again. The ones where he pondered on the meaning of life, death, and other abstract concepts before coming to the realization they’d never be completely understood. Usually, when he found himself thinking such things, he’d stow himself away in a secret place for some time until he was done. Today, it occurred during work so he naturally snuck out while no one was looking and came up to the roof, with mostly everyone none the wiser. Ranpo knew because he was Ranpo and Kunikida tore the place apart trying to find him till he eventually checked the roof. As disruptive as these moods were, they did get him out of doing work and they had the added bonus of pissing Kunikida off so it was a win-win scenario.

     Everyone should’ve already been on their way home by now. However, he still had to finish his case reports and send them out before the day was over. He played around with the idea of doing work for a moment. He could write up his reports and be on his merry way but procrastination’s always been a hard habit to break and putting them off for another day was so tempting. Oh, what was he to do?

     Yokohama was just as lively today as it was every other day. Cool air came to chase away the late summer heat as night crept ever closer. Down below were the sounds of people walking and talking and traffic, the typical ambiance of a city. The clear sky above was streaked with vivid hues of red, orange, violet, and blue as the sun set over the horizon towards the west. It was an all too familiar yet still comforting sight to see for a dead man walking.

     He heard the door behind him open with a loud creaking of its hinges. Just by the process of elimination, there were only a handful of people who knew he’d been up here today. He turned around and was greeted by---

     “Atsushi-kun.”

     Atsushi didn’t say anything. It wasn’t surprising, since Dazai noticed he hadn’t been acting quite like himself over the past few days. He still had his snark and was keeping up with both work and Dazai’s antics but it was easy to see he was half-assing it so as to not worry anyone. Whatever was going on, Dazai figured it was nothing too serious and wanted to give Atsushi some time to work through it on his own. Now he was wondering if, perhaps, that was the wrong thing to do.

     “Did Kunikida-kun ask you to come fetch me?” he asked before letting out a fake exasperated sigh. “I swear, it’s like he has no trust in me at all!”

     Instead of beating around the bush or try his hand at lying, Atsushi replied with a simple yet curt, “No, he hadn’t.”

     That was a tad concerning. He said nothing more and stood beside Dazai, resting his arms and head down on top of the railing. He hadn’t seen much of Atsushi today so he wasn’t sure whether something terrible happened while he was out working on a case or if his childhood decided to rear its ugly head up again. There was a good chance it was either-or. Regardless, now was most definitely the time for him to step in and give his lovely kitten some help.

     Before he could open his mouth, however, there were a couple things he saw that gave him pause. Atsushi had an almost listless quality about him, like it took everything he had to just stand there and do little else. Then there were his eyes, which were setting off alarm bells in his head. They looked darker than usual, the violet and gold muted to the point they seemed lifeless. They never lost their light, even in the worst of situations, so Dazai was really starting to worry over what was happening with Atsushi. Panic was a feeling he hated having.

     “Dazai-san, can I ask you something?” Atsushi called out, motionless.

     Despite his gut instinct telling him it was a bad idea, Dazai replied with, “You know I’ll always answer your questions to the best of my ability so ask away.” This might give him a clue as to what was troubling Atsushi so he decided to indulge him.

     “Do you think--” he stood up straight, keeping his eyes transfixed on the city before him-- “if someone were to jump from this height, they would--” his grip on the railing tightened and he swallowed nervously-- “die?”

     Okay, that was very unsettling to hear. Atsushi would never ask such macabre questions, much less entertain the thought of them. He was someone who fought to survive, to live life and see all it had to offer. To listen to a person who enjoyed even the smallest pleasures of the world wonder if a fall off of a building would kill someone went against his character.

     Slipping the mask on, he attempted to brush off the question as a morbid joke with, “Why, Atsushi-kun, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were asking that to see if you wanted to try it for yourself!” It was meant to be a chance to prove him wrong, even in the vain hopes he wasn’t. “But I know you’d never---”

     “And what if I did?” Atsushi asked, cutting him off mid-sentence. “What if I said I did want to try it?”

     “Well, it’s only a hypothetical scenario, isn’t it?” Dazai smiled uncomfortably, growing increasingly disturbed by how the conversation’s going. “It is hypothetical, right?”

     An agonizing moment passed by before Atsushi answered, “…Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

     “Atsushi-kun, you--” He placed a hand on his shoulder to slowly turn him when---

     Atsushi shook it off but it was enough. It was only a glance yet what Dazai saw struck fear into his core. What little light there had been in his eyes previously was completely gone, replaced with a dead hollowness. They were too similar, too close to the ones Dazai remembered staring back at him in the mirror during his days in the Mafia. It was an uncanny resemblance and he needed to do everything in his power to right this wrong, because it didn’t fit sweet Atsushi.

     “What happened? Can you tell me?” He thought if he approached this gently, it’d coax an answer out of Atsushi. It didn’t work. “I’m here to listen if you wanna talk about it.” More silence. “Atsushi-kun, I want to help you but I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

     He let out a sigh. “I thought you of all people would understand this.”

     “I do but that doesn’t mean this is the right way to go about it. What you’re thinking of doing isn’t going to solve everything, it’ll just make it worse.” God, he sucked at this. Not only was he the absolute worst person for this, it was his darling Atsushi he had to talk back from the edge. Anyone else would be better suited but it was just his luck to get caught up in this.

     “You think I don’t know that?” He turned away from the railing to face Dazai. “That’s all I’ve thought about over the past few days and I still feel like this. If anything, it’s only made me feel worse.”

     There was one tactic left he hadn’t tried yet. The very thought of using it was contemptible but desperation called for drastic measures. “Think of all the people that’d be affected by your passing, Atsushi-kun. Think about how Kyouka-chan would feel if you were to die.” He felt like scum for bringing her into this. “You have so much to live for so that’s why---”

     “Don’t give me those empty platitudes, Dazai-san, we both know you don’t believe in what you’re saying.” There was barely restrained anger in his voice and he glared at Dazai with heated intensity. “How can you ask me to live when you don’t even give yourself the same courtesy? You’re-you’re a hypocrite, Dazai-san!”

     He deserved that, especially for trying to manipulate him. Atsushi was right; Dazai was a hypocrite. How could a man like him talk someone out of committing suicide when he couldn’t extend the same mercy to himself? He craved death like it was his life’s purpose; he wasn’t qualified for this.

     Yet, because it was Atsushi, Dazai had to help him. Whatever was making him think he should die, he needed to be convinced it was only temporary. A proven hypocrite’s point still stood.

     “I may be but it doesn’t make what I said any less true.” Atsushi averted his eyes, most likely ashamed of his earlier outburst. Dazai’s voice took on a softer, kinder cadence as he said, “You can choose to believe what I’m about to say next, all I ask is for you to listen, okay?”

     Gently, he grabbed Atsushi’s hands and held them in his own. It was clear to see the difference between them in how they viewed life. Dazai’s were stained in so much black blood, they showed naught a trace of the “human” underneath. Atsushi’s, meanwhile, were pure white with only a splash of scarlet. He couldn’t stomach the idea of killing someone while Dazai felt the countless amount of sins crawling up his back. They were life and death yet the reaper was giving his antithetical partner the encouragement to keep going. How paradoxical.

     “You’re right, I’m a hypocrite. What right do I have telling you to live when I don’t tell myself the same?” He stroked the back of Atsushi’s hand with a thumb. “But it’s because you deserve to while I don’t. You’re a good person, Atsushi-kun, and I’m a poor imitation of one. You want to save people, you have saved people, and it’s because you are and choose to be a good person.”

     Dazai, in a rare moment of candidness, cast his gaze down to their conjoined hands before continuing on. “In some ways, you’re what I strive to be yet I know I can never reach you, no matter how hard I try--” his grip tightened ever so slightly upon sensing Atsushi’s incoming protests-- “and that’s okay. I’ve committed far too many crimes to ever be redeemed, I know I’m destined for hell but you still have a chance.

     “The world will always be a dark and harrowing place but--” he looked up and took a deep breath in-- “you, along with everyone else in the Agency, fight to make it less so. If you were to die here and now, the world would lose that little bit of goodness, that little bit of light only you have.

     “That’s why I ask--” he cupped Atsushi’s cheek, peering into his eyes that seemed to be regaining their natural brilliance-- “for you to live. Don’t die, not yet, not until it’s your time to go. Live, Atsushi.”

     Atsushi stepped back, turning away from Dazai, who was unsure on what he should do next. He felt too exposed standing out here but he didn’t want to run and hide again until he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt Atsushi would be all right. The mask had a tendency to slip whenever they were together but this might’ve been the first time Dazai let Atsushi into his walls, if only for a moment. It was strange and not at all appropriate with the kind of relationship they shared. Yet, if his precious Atsushi was ever in this situation again, he’d bring them down without any hesitation.

     Each and every word was said with the utmost sincerity. He spoke out of the depths of his heart, even if he was a demon masquerading as a human. He wanted to believe he got through to Atsushi, stopped him from potentially going through on a mistake that’d cost him greatly. He held on to hope like it was a lifeline.

     They may have been on the side of light but they were there for very different reasons. Dazai only wanted to fulfill his dear friend’s dying wish of becoming a good man in spite of all the atrocities he’d committed. Atsushi wanted to do good, whether it was by helping people or doing the right thing, which was more selfless and noble than Dazai could ever be. The world could care less if another monster like him were to die but if it were Atsushi? It’d be worse off.

     Several minutes went by as he wondered if he had possibly crossed his boundaries when he heard it. A quiet sniffling, followed by a shaky intake of air and a soft whimper, like someone was crying but trying to hide it. It was a sound he recognized, having listened to it many times before.

     Tears threatening to spill over filled Atsushi’s eyes. His shoulders trembled as he bit down on his lower lip to keep himself from sobbing. As sad as the scene was, it brought Dazai some much-needed relief. Atsushi was going to be okay.

     “D-dazai-san…” A tear rolled down his cheek before he wiped it away. “I’m sorry for… worrying you and for yelling at you earlier.” Then, as if he couldn’t hold it any longer, the dam burst open as a myriad of tears fell to the ground. “I’m sorry that I let you down, that I’m just a disappointment and---”

     Maybe it was from hearing the absolute pain and guilt in his voice or the pitiful way he looked at him. Whether it was one or the other, it didn’t matter. It was enough for Dazai to grab Atsushi’s wrist, draw him into his arms, and just hold him for however long it took till he stopped crying.

     Atsushi didn’t return the sudden hug, likely too shocked to do so. This was very much out of Dazai’s comfort zone and it wasn’t like him to make spur-of-the-moment decisions based on pure emotion. However, what Atsushi needed right now was an equal, not a mentor, and Dazai hoped he was filling in that position somewhat. If this left Atsushi feeling better after everything, it’d be worth it.

     “You could never disappoint me,” he whispered, smiling fondly. “You always manage to find a way to surprise me, even exceed my expectations.” His arms tightened ever so slightly around him. “You’re more than you think you are.”

     Dazai gave Atsushi one last squeeze before pulling away a moment later. Atsushi stood stock still, no doubt stunned from everything that just happened, and he had a flush of embarrassment on his face. Knowing he was going to be all right, Dazai felt confident that they had nothing left to discuss.

     Atsushi called out in a meek voice, “Dazai-san, I---”

     “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, Atsushi-kun.” Dazai walked past him towards the direction of the door. “Kunikida-kun will kill me if I don’t finish my work and I’d rather my death be at my own hands.” He opened the door, the creaking of its hinges echoing from inside the stairwell. He turned back to Atsushi. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

     Before more could be said, he went inside and descended the stairs. He made it down one flight, deciding to get off on the floor above the Agency. Going home sounded appealing but he’d be risking bumping into anyone from there and he really didn’t want to deal with them after what happened. He walked further in, wanting to ground himself back to reality.

     That was… a lot. He was used to high-pressure situations, fights where his life could be snuffed out by a split-second decision but this was different. Dazai, a man who yearned for the sweet release of death, had to talk down Atsushi, someone that lived life to the fullest, from suicide. Not only was it a complete reversal of some of their earliest interactions but he opened up to him. He was a former Mafia executive that kept even those closest to him in the dark about his intentions yet he bared just a piece of his soul to save his protege. How things change over the course of 4 years…

     Atsushi was special. There was no other way to explain it; Atsushi had endeared himself to Dazai with his honesty, his faith, his loyalty. He deserved the right to live, the right to exist. He may be young and inexperienced now but there was nothing stopping him from reaching his potential if he continued on this path. Dazai was sure he’d get there in a few years’ time, even if he wasn’t there to witness it someday. Maybe he should try to stay alive until then, if only so Atsushi wouldn’t be sad over him not seeing how much he’d grown.

     Dazai let out a sigh and leaned against a nearby wall. When had Atsushi become so important to him that he was considering prolonging his tormented existence? It was made in jest but it was still a joke he’d never think about normally. He would be the death of him, either metaphorically or by his own hands. Honestly, if Dazai were to die via murder, he’d like his beautiful tiger to be his killer.

     How cruel yet fitting it is for death to love life.

#airi's writing #DazAtsu #Fanfiction #Bungou Stray Dogs #suicide tw

[chuckaf]

Chuck Fic Rec List: Updated

So my fic rec post was in my notifs again the other day, and I noticed a while back that the formatting on the post has gotten all messed up and it’s also had like three reblog additions to it anyway meaning there are three versions out there lol. so, I wanted to do another list of chuck fic recs! I’ll keep the other one up still, so I’m not gonna repeat every fic here, just some I really recommend. I’m also adding the fic summaries, which I didn’t on the old post, and some more of my own opinions so, buckle up for a long post!

Chuck Versus the Steampunk Chronicles | Steampunk.Chuckster

1896. A world powered by steam, where humans and machines coexist, and airships are the fashionable mode of transport. The US Empire's deepest and darkest secrets arrive at Chuck Bartowski's doorstep. Have they fallen into the wrong hands? Or will the inventor prove his mettle, even while he's forced to hide from the very people he's protecting? AU, ongoing chronicle, Charah.

A genuinely incredible AU story, with an entire crafted world and universe, so detailed it frequently blows my mind. There is heart and family and infuriatingly brilliant slow-burn, plus a buttload of danger and super fun historical/steampunk action. Oh how I LOVE it.

Chuck vs the Charade | somedeepmystery

When computer nerd Chuck Bartowski returns home to an empty apartment and a dead girlfriend he finds himself embroiled in a deadly game of espionage and deceit. Everyone around him is playing a part to get what they want and when he starts falling for the new woman in his life, he can't help but wonder if he can trust her or if she's the one he should fear the most.

An action and twist-filled AU based on the movie Charade, which is just such a brilliant fic concept I absolutely adored it from the start.

Two Sides of the Same Coin | dettiot

When you're a spy, there's all kinds of occupational hazards when you work with another spy. For Sarah Walker, though, one mission becomes a life-changing experience. Because working with Charles Carmichael leads to protecting Chuck Bartowski.

The first time I read this fic my mind was just blown to its genius. Such a brilliant interpretation of what the Intersect and its concepts set up in the show could be, and ooooof the Chuck/Sarah interactions, my HEART. Related to it, its companion piece:

A Flip of the Coin | dettiot

What made Charles Carmichael agree to become Chuck Bartowski? Well, to start, it wasn't as much of a change as you'd think. A companion to the early chapters of Two Sides of the Same Coin from Carmichael's perspective.

Chuck vs The Butterfly Effect | n7agentbartowski

Chuck Bartowski is a normal guy who just hit rock bottom. No girlfriend, no career and no super computer stuck inside his head. It isn't until Chuck meets a gorgeous stranger on the beach that he begins to think his life is about to change for the better. An AU Chuck fic without the Intersect. "Change one thing and it changes everything."

I said it on the OG post, but this story has one of my top 5 Chuck/Sarah fic meetings. So funny, so... very Chuck. The story is a little angsty overall, but a great read.

Chuck vs the Rogue Spy | Crumby

When a rogue spy from Chuck Bartowski's past shows up to help him during his first solo mission, Chuck hopes that he'll finally find out what happened to Sarah Walker. Post-S2 AU.

There’s a lot of Season 3 fix-it fics out there, which I don’t usually read bc I actually love season 3 lol, but this one’s a good one! A twisty deviation from canon, but still feels really true to character.

Chuck Versus the Nerds Rewrite | Steampunk.Chuckster and David Carner

What happens when two nerds talk endless hours about their favorite TV show? A new take on the show you know, but with the flair, twists, and turns you've come to expect from Steampunk . Chuckster and david . carner. Somewhat canon. Charah.

As the summary says, a different take on the show, which honestly makes a couple changes I would too, but also adds a bunch of fun twists and plots that make it totally new and fresh. Seeing Chuck and Sarah’s thoughts in the more canon sections is just delicious, too.

The Trapped Assassin | SarahsSupplyCloset

After a mission goes awry, the CIA's most lethal assassin is ordered to take vacation while her superiors figure out what to do with her. But when she meets a disarming tourist, their immediate connection only adds to her disillusionment with the agency and her career. Will he be enough for her to finally take the plunge and leave the only life she's ever known? Charah AU

A warning for the very justified M rating if you don’t like that sort of thing, but this is definitely a plot-heavy fic, too. A really neat Sarah-heavy AU, with a whole lotta Chuck/Sarah fancy French vacationy goodness.

Chuck vs the Second Chance | malamoo

AU from mid-season 2 and onwards. Chuck and Sarah part ways only to be reunited years later. COMPLETE.

Literal, crying-at-my-screen angst. Not even a super happy ending. But a brilliantly written, part-reflective/flashback fic, exploring what would’ve happened if Chuck and Sarah’s relationship really was an assignment all along-- and the aftermath. It’s heartbreaking. But if you want a little heartbreak, this is your fic.

Ready at Your Hand | dettiot

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a Catholic plot against the queen comes to the attention of spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham. To protect Elizabeth, he develops an unusual plan: hide the passing of intelligence between two agents by a false romance. When Lady Sarah Walker and Chuck Carmichael meet, though, their pretend flirtation becomes much more.

I love Chuck fic for the very reason that it’s inspired such adventurous and totally unique AUs. Here’s some Elizabethan fake-dating Chuck and Sarah! They have to be so Proper, it’s like that hand moment from Pride and Prejudice but Elizabethan and times a billion. The pining!!

Sarah Versus Getting Married | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker is getting married. Canon. Charah.

I’d recommend all of SC’s fics if I had the room, and I’m already recommending a ton sksks but most of my fic recs are AUs, and this one isn’t! It’s canon, and covers some of in the gap in 4x24, with Sarah just before the wedding itself. Super sweet, heart-tugging, brilliant.

A Chuckmas Carol | Mikki13

A new twist to Dickens' beloved "A Christmas Carol". When Sarah begins to shut out the world around her, three spirits come to show her the error of her ways. Season 3 AU.

Another Season 3 AU, this one written pre-series so it definitely doesn’t fit to canon, but it’s still wonderfully rich in character depth and angst and it also made me cry. Plus, festive!

Chuck Versus Thin Ice | Steampunk.Chuckster

On the doorstep of the Olympics, top American curler Sarah Walker has lost her mixed doubles partner and her boyfriend in one fell swoop. Her coaches throw newbie Team U.S.A. curler Chuck Bartowski onto her team and thrust them into the Olympics, hanging America's curling hopes on two people who only have a short amount of time to learn to trust one another. Charah AU.

Do you like curling? Or the Winter Olympics? It doesn’t really matter because somehow this fic made me extremely invested in both of those things, as well as Chuck and Sarah and them being INSUFFERABLE. Catch me now knowing a ton about curling thanks to this fic.

Walker’s Eleven | Moonlight Pilot

Not the same plot as the movie. Sarah Walker never got out of the con game or became a spy, and now she's on her final con. What happens when true love and betrayal get added to the mix? Twists, turns, and Jeffster!

Con!Sarah always interests me, and this fic is full of her. Lotta con plot, lotta Chuck and Sarah.

The Detective and the Tech Guy | thecharleses

Sarah Walker is a Pinkerton detective. Chuck Bartowski is an electronics genius. They wouldn't have met except for a case of mistaken identity and murder. Will the detective and the tech guy solve the mystery, distracted by the riddle in their own hearts? An homage to The Thin Man film series. Formerly co-written by Steampunk . Chuckster and dettiot, now ONLY Steampunk . Chuckster.

Everyone in this fic is so damn cool. There are so many martinis. But also great heart and family and like, standing up for who you love, and later also Chuck with Baby Clara content which frankly the show robbed us of. Also, PI!Sarah!!!

Gravity | Poetic4U

AU. Sarah makes a decision that altered her life forever.

This is just a one-shot, which many of these stories are not, so a good one if you don’t fancy a big read! Just because it’s short, though, doesn’t mean it’s lacking; a really awesome what-if AU, and heavy on the Chuck and Sarah.

A Yuletie Tale | Steampunk.Chuckster

Sarah Walker was dumped the day before Christmas Eve, and her Plus One at her work’s annual Christmas Eve Soiree is now officially a Plus Zero. Her best friend Ellie Bartowski has a solution to her problem, and Sarah finds she isn’t quite as sure about it as Ellie is. AU Christmas Charah.

I’m particularly in love with this fic because, instead of beginning with a meet-cute, it involves Chuck and Sarah already two years into a friendship-- Sarah is Ellie’s best friend. And she’s been crushing harrrd on Ellie’s brother. Also Chuck is in a tux. It’s pretty.

Set, Spike, Dive! | Frea O’Scanlin

Chuck never expected to even make it to the Olympics. Everything is working against him: he's too tall for a diver, too inexperienced for a medal, too much of a wildcard to really make his mark. But an unexpected meeting at the airport, some intriguing new friends, and a whirlwind romance on the sand just might set up London 2012 as the time of Chuck Bartowski's life.

A London 2012 AU, because why not. This is just a fun Olympic-y ride!

OTP (One True Pairing) Prompts | David Carner

A series of Prompts I found online about different times and places in Chuck and Sarah's life. Mostly AU, mostly one-shots. I assume mostly fluff, but I might get deep. I doubt it, it's me. Charah...ALWAYS (It says complete, but if an idea strikes me...)

If you’re not so into long stories, this fic is perfect. Individual set-ups and stories, all Chuck and Sarah, and all super cute. You could dip in and out and just pick a scenario you enjoy.

Chuck vs The Frontier | ninjaVanish

AU: Chuck was enjoying a simple life as a 19th century watchmaker until an encounter with a beautiful Secret Service agent thrust him into a world of intrigue and adventure he never wanted. But then, with Agent Walker around, it can't be all bad, can it?

This fic gets props for being historically-set but still including the Intersect. Again, a historical AU, so the pining!! the need to be Proper!!! But besides all that, there’s a lot of action fun as well.

Chuck Versus The Crosswalk: Remastered | WvonB

Will a last minute mission help our two favorite characters finally get together? This is the remastered version of my first story.

The original version of this fic is on my first list; this is the updated version! It’s not a complete AU, instead a story that diverges from canon, so if you’re more into canon characters and setting than a new AU scenario, this is a great fic for that.

Little Girls, Paper Wreaths, and Choc Chip Cookies | DanaPAH

Very AU: Sarah Walker is a single mother whose Christmas spirit needs a boost after a tough divorce. She isn't quite ready to go looking for romance, but her little daughter's affection for their new neighbor may lure it right to her doorstep, anyway.

An incredibly sweet AU one-shot where Chuck and Sarah are new neighbours, and Sarah has a super cute little girl. So much sweetness and love and hope. I love this fic so much it literally led me to write my own neighbour-kid-AU, so, not to toot my own horn but I’ll link it here anyway.

May Your Walls Know Joy | halfachance

Looking for a fresh start after some tough times, Sarah and her three-year-old daughter move to LA. When they meet a sweet curly-haired nerd who lives next door, though, Sarah realizes they might just find more happiness than they'd ever imagined, if only her past doesn't catch up to her first. AU.

It’s what the summary says; if you wanna read, feel free!

Chuck vs the Sound of Music | quistie64

AU. Chuck, nerd extraordinaire, is a man with seven children and Sarah must protect them all from Fulcrum's evil designs. Warning: there will be singing.

I mean. Not much mystery as to the concept with that title and summary lol, but this is a super fun, soft ride with a lotta sweetness, and yes, singing.

Just Two People | David Carner

Meet Sarah Walker PhD, Psychologist, specializing in personality traits. Meet Chuck Bartowski, man who has left THE electronic company of 2020. When Burton Consultants tries to figure out what is wrong with the morale of Orion Industries, what happens when a guy named Chuck meets a woman named Sarah. I'll give you a hint, it's me writing.

David’s done something pretty special with this fic. It’s Chuck and Sarah centric, but very much an ensemble piece, too, with a lot of Team Bartowski and other familiar faces throughout.

Chuck Versus the Con Game | Steampunk.Chuckster

AU. Chuck and Sarah are partners in the con game. It's an existence wrought with danger and violence. Every day could be their last. Every mission could be the end of the line.

This is where I freak out SC and declare this fic the reason I ever got hooked on Chuck fic and then wrote Chuck fic, and the reason I still love it today but. that is true lol. Just so. so good. It’s also written with the chapters out of chronological order, which is super fun from a reading perspective. But con!Sarah AND con!Chuck?? Best. The kind of fic you will be thinking about for days (if not, y’know, years).

As you can tell by the repeats, I highly recommend just about anything by Steampunk.Chuckster, dettiot, or David Carner, but there are a TON of amazing Chuck fics and authors out there. I’ve never known a writing community so wildly creative-- there are so many unique AUs and canon explorations and story concepts that this show has manifested, and it’s all so much fun.

Most of the Chuck fic community is still over on FFN rather than AO3, so if any of these whet your appetite, feel free to have a browse there for more stories. I’m sure you’ll find something great. Personally, all the incredible writing there has also led me to write a buttload; I’m at halfachance on FFN, so if you see any of my stuff or wanna chat fic, feel free to message me there or here.

Happy reading, folks!

#chuck #fic rec #chuck fic #nbcchuck #praying if i edit this to add to it or i reblog it to add to it all the links stay and the line breaks don't disappear sksks #the old one still looks okay on desktop but it's messed up on the app and on mobile and it's just all generally messy #so i've been wanting to make this for aaages lol yay to finally doing something! woo!

[onehandedly]

for the salt asks meme, about the Silm fandom <3 1, 5, 19 and 12 !

Salty ask meme

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Sadly: yes Once, a very long time ago, I tried never to do so because I had much more patience and liked to think it was fun to see a fandom that had many different opinions and could play with them freely. I still do, but I have much less patience now and I noticed how sometimes some people tend to get nasty in their way of defending their position making comments not about the opposing opinion/interpretation but against the people holding it: comments based on the sole fact they do not agree with them. That is something I cannot stand and which, sadly, somehow poisoned my well. Besides: there are some opinions that are just not fun or interesting for me and some I find irritating, so, if I think any conversation I might have with another person about them wouldn't be in good fun, I just unfollow. So we can all keep having fun.

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

For the Silmarillion? Paradoxically some of the canon ones. First of all: Beren and Luthien. To me they feel like cardboard cutouts that have no characterisation outside of the obsessive love story (begun with a flying tackle) that makes the grand total of their narrative arc. They have nothing remotely interesting going on aside from wanting to marry (and they could have more, the narrative would definitely allow for that, but: no) and being shameless self inserts "teh best" which, in turn, makes their relationship feel incredibly empty to me since: you have to be a character to be interesting in any interaction with another character. Zero plus zero is still zero, even in binary. What else do they want to do aside from marrying? Do they have any other dreams, desires, ambitions, conflicts, responsibilities they need to fulfil? Apparently they don't, which cheapens everything for me. For my tastes a good love story is not one where you isolate yourself in a bubble with another person for the rest of your life. Not even in literature.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

It came very near to making me loathe two of my OTPs, Maedhros and Fingon and Feanor and Nerdanel. The first one through sheer mischaracterisation of both Maedhros and Fingon. Or by making the ship just another angst fodder with MOAR angst on top and a side of angst that: come on, if I wanted overblown soap opera I could just watch Italian tv series. The second by turning Nerdanel, one woman in the Silmarillion that is described as being strong of mind and staying with her husband only as long as he values her opinion, into "long suffering USA sitcom mom" or "Poor Victim™".

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Some people being sanctimonious and making fandom opinions into political points. Can I justify and enjoy murder in literature without doing so in real life: yes. To me it is fun, because nobody is actually hurt. No, appreciating an angel woman written by a conservative catholic writer less than a male character that he actually gave nuances to because he wasn't too busy trying to turn the latter into some perfect little madonna is not about feminism. Nor is doing the contrary about feminism, if you like madonnas in literature: go ahead, knock yourself out. Heartbreaking, I know, but: sometimes other decent human beings just do not agree with you and that is fine. I mean: I strongly disagree with Tolkien and yet I read and like his works.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Not really an arc, but I would love more attention being payed to Caranthir and east Beleriand (outside of Nargothrond, I am kinda bored by Nargothrond XD). He has so much fascinating sides! The collaboration with dwarves, the lake Helevorn dwelling, the economic theory, Haleth, the Easterlings. MATHS. And Himring, I love Himring. The fortress that stood the Bragollach and its siege, that saved A&A's people (like Celegorm and Curufin saved Orodreth and his people). People just like to ignore the part when it speaks about multiple fortresses built by both Maedhros and Celegorm and Curufin. I always loved the hints of how the Feanorians were making a new homeland for themselves and their people. Not a copy of Tirion, but something new. Despite the curse. And Bòr and his relationship with Maedhros. And Maedhros and Azaghal. I feel the fandom ignores it because the Silmarillion just mentions those things in passing, which makes sense given that Pengolodh is sour and was locked away in Gondolin, still: there was a continent fighting and resisting outside of the hidden realms and the groups that had to do with them.

#meme #woow #I wrote a lot #XDD #Thank you for the question

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

a poem for small things

by Admin 1 & 2

The time has come, the first proper post for this segment we’ve settled on calling a poem for small things, a nod toward BWL and its Korean title. Like we said in our call for submission post, this is supposed to be something like a place full of positivity for vminnies (and perhaps the occasional namjinist) where you (and us) can share whatever we’d like in connection to vmin, both as vmin and as Jimin and Tae the individuals, and have something to raise our mood and also strengthen our vminnie confidence. We’ve gotten several wonderful submissions and quickly realized that for this first post the theme is mostly how I became a vminnie, even if three submissions talk more about vmin moments they enjoy instead.

I think it’s a really interesting theme, especially since everyone’s story is different, and everyone seems to find something else about vmin that captured their attention and hearts so sharing these memories and experiences is a great way to start off this segment. We’ve said it many times before, though I don’t think you can say it enough times, but this bond that Jimin and Tae share is truly special and so one of a kind, it’s wonderful to see how we all relate to and resonate with it in our own way and find something in it that makes us fall in love with their loves, regardless if we see it as platonic or romantic love. Love is love after all. 95z is love.

For the order of these submissions, we’ll simply go in the order in which we’ve received them. Most of them came from anons, which is more than okay. We’ve also opened the possibility of submitting posts for those who would like to submit wordier posts/asks, should we do another edition of this. It all depends on how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll come through with more submissions that could be gathered for future posts.

Anyway, enough talking from our side, let’s dive into these submissions below the cut, shall we? Like we said in the original post (and demonstrated in the preview post), we’ll add some of our commentary and observations along the way, too.

From anon: This is going to be long winded story but Vmin is like a Serendipity to me. I've heard of BTS mainly from my hubby when he complains that times sq is packed because of BTS (when they’re in town and doing their rounds of morning shows). I knew they were very popular but it was a great surprise that i discovered them after watching ILand during lockdown. Their songs were great and i started playing their classics like Fire, DNA Fake Love etc. Then they did an appearance in the show...

I love how you heard about BTS because of your husband and Time Square being packed, this is honestly the most original and unique version of how I’ve come across BTS I’ve read over the years. Amazing!

I was drawn to Taehyung's beauty during their appearance in Iland. And my first Vmin ? moment was when Tae commented about being handsome and attractive are 2 things and being attractive weighs more - along those lines... then JM made a comment that its unfair that he's both and Tae was like Im talking about you... I went like ok he thinks JM is attractive- theyre good friends.... then Jimin did the FakeLove choreo and the camera focused on Tae and he had this wide smile...The Iland Tae/Jimin clips made me do a double take but I dismissed it since it was just only a few seconds worth of screen time but still...

I-Land vmin was really something else in both episodes. 

Fun fact: I-Land was the first Korean survival show I’ve ever watched, mostly because it had something to do with BH and since it was streamed online with subs in real time. Unfortunately, my faves—Daniel and Taki—didn’t make it into ENHYPEN, though I’m happy that Taki will be in a future Japanese BH group.

But, going back to vmin, that moment with Jimin dancing FAKE LOVE and Tae looking at him with that boxy smile as though Jimin hung the stars in the sky? I melted, even if it was just one of those brief moments, yet still it’s so cute! And it was all over sns being shared by vminnies and non-vminnies alike. What a great time that was.

Then VMAs Dynamite perf happened- both Vmin looking good. I saw a lot of their promos especially the Jimmy Fallon interviews... and I noticed in hindsight how JF was so careful when referring to Jimin ... Since Tae was my first bias, I searched YT for Tae related content eventually saw in my YT feed Vmin moments. Theres a lot of Vmin content in YT or maybe the T*ek*ok ones didnt really register as extraordinary to me. But defo the Vmin moments were extraordinary to me,,,the BV4 sleeping together, kitchen role play & BV3 JM excited to see Tae and them holding hands and then Tae crying and then Tae's busking with Jimin cheering him on were all amazing to see. Up to this day this specific YT vid stood out to me first 

I actually went to check what video this is, and also looked at the comments where my favorite was this one: The staff member went straight to Jimin to tell him V was crying. That's all you need to know. They’re not wrong with that one, are they? That is pretty telling. BV3 vmin were a work of wonder, truly. Jimin watching Tae sing that Sam Smith song during the dinner in the sky looking all soft and endlessly fond?

Jimin encouraging Tae to busk and gently petting his hair was just such a pure moment and showed how much Jimin appreciates Tae and the talent he has, how in moments when Tae might brush aside wanting to do something, is a little hesitant and unsure, Jimin will stand up for him and give him strength/encouragement, which reminds me of Tae’s vlive in April 2020 and the fact that Jimin had told him that he wants to be his source of strength. Beautiful. And it shows that it wasn’t just pretty yet empty words, but something he truly meant. They both do.

Then i came across vid trans of Friends & cried first time hearing it especially when it got to the part "One day when the cheer dies down, stay hey.." It felt raw and honest to me. Then there's MOT:E concert and that part in Dynamite where they bumped their heads seemed bizaare to me - i was like were they fighting? because JM looked really fierce(or maybe emotional) then i saw the close up. i couldnt remember the exact moment I became a Vminie but it made quarantine easier...

This, I’ve noticed, seems to be a recurring theme among quarantine ARMY and vminnies, the fact that becoming ARMY and vminnies made it easier, and it fits with what we’ve been saying about BTS for years: they will find you when you’ll need them most. And in these trying and uncertain times, it’s certainly proven true once again.

Thank you of much for your submission and sharing your story with us, and I’m glad they could make quarantine a little easier for you.

From anon: I've been following BTS on and off since BST, but only really consider myself a true fan late 2019. I can't recall having a bias at first, but I was captivated by Jimin's everything when I binge-watched all their content. I must admit, my first OTP is T*e/k*ok, where I fell down the route of considering Jimin 'an interfering 3rd party' in their relationship, and it shamed me. Since then I've been cycling through Jimin ships, namely yo*n/m*n, j*n/m*n, m*ni/m*ni, and I even thought that j*/k*ok was real at some point. Strangely, Vmin never struck me as something extraordinary. I don't want to blame anyone, but Vmin caught my eye after I watched official BTS content without filter (presumed bias/judgement) all in their glory. I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant. That's what makes me love Vmin, and for the first time in my fandom life, I have no qualms about whether they are real or not. Their bond, whatever it is, is already precious and something to be cherished forever. Thank you for providing us vminies a special corner to speak up about our experience 💜

You’re very welcome! I hope you’ll like how this turned out as well. Thank you for sharing your story with us and personally I find it fascinating how, despite Jimin being the one who captivated you most at first, you still fell into the “he’s an interference for my ship” trap that’s quite popular with that particular ship. I’m glad though that that never ruined your love for Jimin. It’s also really interesting for me how you went through different Jimin ships yet it took you the longest time to notice vmin. I feel like, because vmin and vminnies are more “low key” than the other bigger and louder ships, as well as Tae and Jimin simply being quieter in their interactions (not always but you get the point) as compared to, for example, Jimin’s interactions with Hobi, Jungkook, or even Namjoon, it takes people a while to really notice them.

This is my favorite part of what you wrote, and I think it’s a great way to describe vmin in general and what makes them different from other ships in the grand scheme of things: I realized that while other ships may go up-and-down as in one day there's a frenzy and another day quiet af, Vmin has been and is still going constant.

From vminot7: So i fell into BTS hole after watching blood sweat and tears mv casually on youtube. Jimin immediately stole my attention with his unique voice, graceful moves and handsome features even though i didn’t know their names at that time. I watched more MVs and jimin continued to hold my attention but i was also extremely drawn to taehyung's voice and facial expressions. So i started looking for more content such as RUN BTS and other compilations and realized my love for all 7 of them. I also noticed how jimin always had a soft spot for taehyung and was curious about their dynamics. I started looking at more of vmin content and i was really surprised to see how in the early days they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now. I think they have a unique bond and i have never come across anything quite similar. Now vmin are both my biases and my bias wrecker is hoseok.

I admire jimin for being a hardworking, passionate perfectionist but also a caring soul who is always ready to offer love and comfort to people in need. I love taehyung for how he looks at the world in his unique ways and how he has a childlike awe for things and how he is so passionate over the things he loves. The thing i love about vmin together is how they are so different yet work so hard on their relationship when it would be easier to just not try that hard.

Ah, another mention of the queen that is Blood, Sweat and Tears. The MV truly is such a masterpiece so I’m not surprised that it caught your attention, and especially Jimin since he was…something else in that MV, or like Tae said, his eyes were temptation (this boy, I swear). Since you mentioned how in the first years they were nowhere near as soft with each other as they are now, I think watching their dynamic and relationship change and evolve over time showcases the one thing I think a lot of people (as well as movies and TV shows) forget or gloss over, despite it being so incredibly important: in order to make a relationship of any kind work, especially in order for it to grow as deep and strong as the one between all members and especially vmin, you need to put in the emotional work to make that happen. You have to make an effort, have to learn to understand the other person and teach them to understand you as well, learn to appreciate and love their little quirks and how to accept others. And it’s so clear that that’s what vmin did, continue to do, and it more than paid off in the long run. I’m glad you highlighted that in general but also as something you love about them.

While the overall bond between the members is a class of its own, I think especially what vmin have achieved is a whole masterclass in relationships and fostering strong ones, in and of itself. There is a lot I think we can learn from them and I’m so happy that people recognize how special they are.

Thank you so much for your submission!

From anon: There’s this small moments in Dear Class of 2020 that i just adore! I’ve watched it at least 20 times this past month

It starts with “Spring Day”- tae and jimin laugh and look at each other and it’s just so sweet!

Also, maybe it’s my delusional mind but after tae’s and jin’s small and adorable moment- it seemed that jimin did the same with junkook right after maybe out of i duuno if jealousy but like “pay attention to me too” kinda way- dont know really and maybe it’s me being extra🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree partially, in that Jimin watched Tae’s and Seokjin’s adorable moment, obviously must’ve thought of it as cute just like we did, and thought he could do the same with JK. I don’t think it had anything to do with jealousy, especially if we work off of the idea that vmin are a thing, but also because it’s a performance and these things primarily serve the purpose of being cute and entertaining use, in other words, it’s fanservice (which isn’t the evil word some portray it as). Also, within that same performance, Tae and Jimin actually sang some of the lyrics toward each other, therefore they, too, had a cute moment they shared with big smiles and everything, just like you mentioned.

But we’ve gotten to see much more of Tae’s friendship with Seokjin in 2020, and especially the second half, so it was really sweet to see them interact during that song. Their friendship and dynamic is really a beautiful one, just like JKs bond with Seokjin, which I feel we’ve also gotten to see more of in recent months. Part of me (and that part can very well be wrong) feels that perhaps once the members caught on to Seokjin feeling the way he said he did/does, they decided to give him an extra dose of love and affection, off camera but also on where we can see it. That isn’t to say that they didn’t show him any of that before, but maybe they increased the intensity a little, a reminder that Seokjin truly is loved, that he deserves all of this, that it’s just his imposter syndrome (or at least what sounds like it) lying to him.

I’m still so touched and moved by the fact that he trusted us enough to share his feelings with us, to gift us Abyss and how it came to be, and that Bang PD was on his side and coaxed him into pouring his feelings into music, even if it would be “bad”, that the fear of it potentially being “bad” shouldn’t hold him back (and Namjoon helping in even if just a tiny bit with the lyrics). It was one of those times where I feel like we were all reminded that regardless of our opinions of BH and their doings, the members are surrounded by kind people who have their best interest in mind. After all what’s good for Bangtan is also good for the company, a win-win for everyone.

…wow, okay, I kind of went off on a tangent, I’m sorry…

Either way , then we have “Mikrokosmos” where we have a sweet moment at their part and towards the end where they switch mic and hear each other

I love this performance overall and especially “spring day”- jin’s and j-hope’s lovely voices and of course tae’s!! This song fits them so well and all the members of course

Well this is my rent , i love your blog and always wait for another post! Also i love the new idea and look forward to it!

Thank you so much for your submission and for bringing up their Dear Class 2020 performance. It was a truly magical one, and after reading this the first time, I did go and watch it again. To this day I’d still very much like to know how and when and why the mic switch between vmin happened, and I kind of hope that we might get a Bangtan B*mb or EPISODE about this eventually and it might shine some light on that question. Overall it was one of my favorite performances on 2020.

From Sky: While I enjoy cute, physical moments with VMIN, I really do value how emotionally attached they are to each other. For example (I don’t know if it fits as vmin moment but), I love how Jimin asked V to take the Promise cover photo, and how he ended up putting V’s name for credits on the cover. (Special Thanks to V, Best Photographer) This really shows a lot. Coz he can easily choose any Bighit photographer to take it. He could have chosen JK because we know how he takes good pics and vids too (and also apparently alot of people say that vmin had a falling out and that Jimin and JK were much more closer, lol). Or he could’ve asked Suga too bec he’s into cameras too. But he didn’t. He chose V, and chose to shout it out to the world how thankful he is for V’s help. RM co-wrote Promise, and maybe had offered more help in this project, but he didn’t put it in the cover. I’m not saying Jimin is ungrateful for not crediting RM in the cover. The difference is that he and RM had a vlive regarding the making of this song, a lot of people already know RM’s participation, he was officially credited as co-writer and Jimin really showed how thankful he is to RM. But no one knows of V’s participation (except for a snippet in that Run ep), so Jimin felt the need to tell it to everyone. I’m sure it’s not only the photos, I think he wanted to acknowledge how V helped him through the process, whether directly or indirectly. Also, remember this is Jimin’s first non-album solo single. By putting V’s name in it, he is sharing this very special song with his soulmate. How endearing it is! V also included Jimin in his first full English song. He used the two bears given by Jimin as Winter Bear’s cover photo and he included the photo Jimin took (sleeping V in the plane) in the MV. Like, seriously, they are trying to consciously imprint each other in their life’s milestones, openly or subtly. I’m crying. 😭

This was lovely, and yes, Jimin could’ve asked whoever to take those pictures, could’ve chosen any other ones, and yet he wanted Tae to be the one to take them, wanted those specific ones as covers. It’s very sweet and creates this subtle connection between Jimin, the song, and Tae. Sure, it isn’t the first time a picture Tae took is the cover for a SoundCloud song (the picture of JK on the 2U cover was also taken by Tae if I remember correctly), but it’s the fact that Promise is Jimin’s first non-BTS song, his first solo release, that makes it that much more special. Even more so when you think about how meaningful that song is to Jimin, and by having Tae as cover picture photographer, he’s in a way forever attached memory wise to that song as well, right?

The same also goes with Winter Bear and the two ceramic bears. Remember how excited Tae looked when I kinda spoiled that gift being a thing happening in an upcoming RUN episode during Jimin’s vlive during the summer 2019? Adorable. It’s also curious how though the title is singular—winter bear not winter bears—there’s two ceramic bears. One for Tae, one for Jimin? Maybe, or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Either way, it’s really cute, and it was a very thoughtful gift, even more when we think about just how much Jimin loves that song.

From anon: Love this idea it's super cute!! 1st thing that came to my mind is a rather simple moment, jimin bopping taehyung's nose and making a lil game out of it

Taehyung asking for more and that dazed smile 🥺 he had the same expression in that concert when jimin placed his face just above him, tae's smile afterward... it was so pure u could almost read "love" in his eyes lol

What a lovely note to end this post at, thank you for that. I don’t know what got into them during that photoshoot for Season’s Greetings 2020 but this was so disarmingly adorable. I remember when that moment appeared all over every sns and everyone just melted, myself included. Their smiles, the cute clothes, Tae’s head on Jimin’s chest, the softness and innocence of it, just all of it. It truly was so pure and like this sweet visualization of ‘love’.

And with that, we’ve reached the end. Did you like this? I had a great time reading your submissions and adding my little comments to them. If you’d like for us to continue this, same rules as last time, send in a submission marked with “VMC” and once we’ll have enough of them gathered, we’ll do this again, if you’re interested in more, that is. Send in whatever positive vmin you have, a thought, a moment, a memory, whatever you’d like.

Thank you once again to everyone who participated! :)

#vmin #jimin #taehyung #a poem for small things post series #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #so many sweet vmin things #you really came through with the cute submissions #dear class of 2020 #bts seasons greetings #BTS bon voyage 3

[another-snape-story]

More in Common Than You Thought

Chapter XX

Nothing remarkable has occurred since that strange incident during the game of Quidditch in the first days of November. Discussion of what had happened died down after a week or so without any constructive conclusion. No one seemed to recall the day when Dark Magic intruded measured life of the Wizarding school ever again. You heartily believed it was just a seeming, and Hogwarts authorities put a careful thought into solving this mystery. The only person who didn’t turn a deaf ear to your concern, the only person who was willing to hear you out, who – same as you – found disregard inappropriate, was Severus. Who in Merlin’s name it might be? Highly responsible and down-to-earth, he kept a watchful eye on one of your colleagues who – you both agreed – behaved oddly. Professor Quirrell.

On top of that, you still couldn’t get over the news you received from your previous employer, and despite of all Snape’s persuasions and convincing arguments that it wasn’t your fault, the thought you might be responsible for the accident popped up in your head every now and then. Snape knew what was weighing over you. He also knew firsthand what it was like being left alone, one on one with nothing but guilt and self-loathing. By no means was he going to let you fall into this destructive abyss of despair. Ready to give you a shoulder every time you were at your lowest, Snape assured you there was nothing worth your nerves and tears.

The two of you were getting closer. You both realized there was no need to know every single detail from your past to understand each other – the essential surfaced in form of little things spoken in relaxed conversations, grain after grain, matching the missing pieces and building a picture of who you actually were.

Snape enjoyed every minute beside you. You filled him with desire to live. Could he ever expect it? Of course, most likely, he was confusing your kindness and friendliness with affection he both craved and feared. For a man who’s never experienced true heartiness, a small gesture of amity might’ve appeared as something bigger than it actually was. Moreover, since causing you pain came across like Snape’s worst nightmare, to keep you unharmed, he convinced himself he had no right to let you too close – he only could destroy lives, and Potter’s son was the living reminder. He got used to sacrificing his life and hope for happiness anyway. Cherishing no pipedreams this cloud-world would last forever, Snape, however, gave in to temptation, too weak to deprive himself of a pleasure to cure his soul by your side even though it was destined to be broken again.

Sullen Potions Professor liked it in your office. Spacious, with high ceilings and nice furnishing, it differed greatly from his own. Variety of plants harmoniously complementing wooden paneling of its walls and numerous bookshelves added vital spirit to the exterior. But it hardly was the setting which made this place so special – the main reason that kept him coming here were certainly you.

The room seemed empty once he stepped inside, but a quick look around sufficed to spot some movement behind the shelving where your place for ‘dirty work’, as you called it, was hidden. Standing with your back turned to the visitor, you surely couldn’t notice him. Headphones on, you smoothly swayed along with the tune, a scalpel in your hand waving jauntily to the rhythm. You easily sank the blade into the carcass of a dissected creature which was now hard to identify and extracted a slimy part of its insides which joined a plenty of a kind in a half-full jar with the same amazingly hideous substance.

Snape leaned against the cupboard – a pawky smirk on his face – marveling the picture. What a wonderful being you were!

“Ahem,” he coughed slightly to catch your attention, but of course, absorbed into the process, you didn’t and couldn’t hear him.

Snape slowly approached you not to scare you too much, although he knew you’d startle either way. The scalpel jolted out of your grip as you flinched, taken aback.

“Never! Never do it again!” with an eye roll, you ripped headphones off.

“How do I do it if you don’t hear me?” he justified himself.

“I don’t know!” you waved your hand. “You’re a wizard after all!” Embarrassed, you felt blood rushing to your face. “Ugh! May I obliviate it from your memory?”

Snape chuckled as he made another step towards you.

“I have so few good moments to recall. Don’t take this one from me,” he smiled softly. “Don’t you mind if I –?” he pointed at the headphones.

You didn’t mind. You knew he wouldn’t report you for using muggle devices, but what happened next struck you dumb. Snape raised the thing to his ear heeding to the sound. The corner of his mouth twitched into his cheek.

“This band helped me through my school years,” he admitted. “The legend of nowadays… That’s a shame we reject everything muggle related – they know how to make really good music.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “Never expected you –”

“I’m a half-blood! Of course I do know muggle stuff,” Snape snickered.

Another surprise in a couple of seconds! “I thought you were pure…” you muttered embracing the fact. His life in this House, the House of ‘Elite’, must’ve been a raw deal. Oh, you could tell! You’ve gone through this hell as well.

“Having muggle blood is an advantage,” you stated resolutely. “Those, feeling superior in terms of origin, look so pathetic trying to perceive the purpose of a toaster!”

A laughter rumbled out of Snape’s throat. He couldn’t disagree.

“Tea?” you carelessly shoot your dirty gloves on the working surface and strode past Severus inviting him to make himself comfortable in one of your armchairs.

“Yes, please,” he leisurely followed suit.

“Muggles are cleverer than us, we must admit it,” you served two cups. “They’ve invented so many devices to satisfy their needs of all sorts which we perform with just a wave of a wand. They should be given a credit.”

“Indeed,” Snape watched you with admiration.

“There’s a whole Department in the Ministry that makes monkey work!” you continued vigorously. “Isn’t it better to have an understanding about the world which is so closely intertwined with ours than to ignore it? We could use it for our profit someday!”

“Why wouldn’t you write an article for the Daily Prophet?” Snape reached out for his cup. “I mean it. Many keep this opinion on a tip of a tongue, but have no guts to speak it out.”

“Not sure,” you sighed. “At least not now…”

The way your fingers fidgeted restlessly set the man alert. “What happened?” his face tensed as he fixed his eyes on you.

Denial was pointless. Moreover, you were going to tell him sooner or later – his question just saved you from searching for the right moment. “I’m invited for interrogation.”

The news unsettled him. “When?” Snape frowned.

“Next Saturday.” You lowered your head, regretting one of your biggest mistakes.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. I mean… yes! Yes, I really do want you to come!” you gave him a weak smile, “but you shouldn’t. Don’t want to drag you into this shit…”

“As you wish,” a little disappointed, Snape agreed with your decision. In situation like this he himself would definitely not want someone to pity him. You had your right for privacy. If you’d feel more comfortable on your own, he wouldn’t insist.

“Thank you, Severus,” you whispered. “Thank you for offering.”

“Everything will be all right,” Snape cheered you up. “If you change your mind, let me know,” he smiled and you nodded. Grateful for his concern, you looked Severus in the eyes. There was something so comforting about his glance, you couldn’t help believing him.

Thin drizzle which damped school grounds since dawn was now growing thicker splattering haphazardly against your windows. Soon the downpour lashed, and through the rain drenches came first long low rumbles of thunder.

“Ah, the storm,” you joyfully shrank into the backrest, while chaos raged outside. As long as Severus was here, you didn’t mind staying in your little shelter like forever.

“I guess, now I’m trapped here,” Snape assumed showing no discontent. He was happy to stick with you until it all ended, now that he had a good excuse.

“More tea?” you chuckled and Snape tossed his cup towards you.

A dim light flickered through the drops lazily sliding down your office windowpane deep in the night. Passing by, one could discern two relaxed silhouettes sitting across each other talking... or maybe sleeping? It made no difference since no one passed by and didn’t see a thing.

<<< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >>>

Tag: @diaryofafan17 @yul-is-sparkling @fullmoonshadowwrites @forthehonourof @amywright @redrehab @space-helen @fluffymadamina nadiigh @theworldisugly-22 @lukaerith-morningstar @sighsinkhuzdul @67-chevy-baby @rustypotatospork @aquila-leo @dandyrua @majusketch @sevyythebeanqueen @writingmi @s00nhi @pinkininja @shizuethedragon @chocolattefrog awkwardaxelotl @bionic-otp @samnblack @sailorstupidsblog @purpledragonturtles @xwaterproofx @lokistann @psycho-howell @planetmystery @lovelyravenkite @taschaschwarz @grimrapper11 @xpissbabyx @lullabylike green-forest-dreams brujaporfavor @severuslovebot moonflower81 @yourbadnightmare @cyber-cry-baby @fandomfrickomg @azzle417 @primavera-allegoria @scarletflavour

#snape #severus snape #snape x reader #severus snape x reader #snape fanfiction #severus snape fanfiction

[imaginesmai]

Tony Stark - Traveling Carnival

Welcome to my first otp prompt fic! You can request yours by searching with the tag #imagineyourotp. Find the instructions about how to do it here.

The waiter nodded at you when you gave him your deserts orders and left with a small smile, probably anticipating the generous tip he was going to receive later. His extra careful attitude and the helpfulness he had showed through the whole meal surely got him enough money to call it a lucky night, even working in an expensive restaurant like the one you had chosen.

You smiled into your napkin when Tony took his wallet out and started to move the bills around, thinking how much money he was going to left. Whatever it was, it would be more than enough.

“I’m thinking about leaving something for the chef too” he thought out loud. “That risotto was worthy, don’t you think?”

“You’ve eaten almost everything, so I can’t say” you teased him.

Through the night, you had talked, eaten and laughed with Tony. There were only a few nights every year that you could enjoy like that; take a private jet and fly to whatever country Tony thinks is worthy of leaving his money. Taking a scroll around the city, and sleeping in a luxury hotel, preferably high.

You moved across the wide couch you were both sitting in until your arms touched, and Tony left his movements with the wallet and raised his arm so that you could fit besides him. You left no physical space in between, resting your head against his shoulder and nuzzling your nose with his neck. The soft jazz music that was playing in the restaurant made you want to kick off your heels and just fall sleep right there.

“You might want to wait until we’re in the hotel” Tony chuckled, leaning down to press his lips against your forehead. “The description of the room said there is a water cushion”

“I don’t want to sound too old, but I’m worrying about my back if we sleep there”

Tony snorted a laugh and finally tucked his wallet away, his whole attention on you.

The restaurant you had chosen that time had an intimate climate that you really appreciated. There were round desks with half-round couches around them, only meant for two or three people. A dim, soft lamp was above every desk, that had two scented candles too. The restaurant, in general, was dark, only lighted up by the desks that were occupied. You didn’t know how the staff could work their way around, but you liked how you could only see Tony.

No other people peeking at you and whispering about Tony Stark being there. No interruptions to sign posters or resentful fans for not having enough attention. It was just you, Tony, and the Italian food.

“Hey, don’t go falling asleep on me. I mean it” Tony shook his shoulder and you pouted at him. “I make a terrible pillow, and I wouldn’t want to suffer your bad morning mood if you had neck pains”

“I’m pretty comfortable” you closed your eyes again, breathing Tony’s smell.

Tony didn’t say anything else, and you smiled. It had been a tiring day, for the both of you. The date hadn’t been planned, and because of that Tony had appeared at the end of your shift with the private plane ready and a boyish smile. When you had taken off, you had discovered your bags at the back of the plane, and he had explained that you were going to stay the weekend in Italy.

After a stressful week, you couldn’t ask for more, so you had accepted Tony’s glass and had sat beside him in the plane. Now, having taken a scroll around and left the bags in the hotel, you were feeling exhausted and sleepy.

“Have you ever been to a traveling carnival?”

You looked up at Tony’s question. He had sparkly eyes and was raising an eyebrow, and wasn’t going to shut up soon. So you moved from his side and, staying as close as possible, straightened up a little.

“Why? Planning on extending our night more?”

“Actually, tomorrow” Tony showed you his phone, which you hadn’t realised he had been using. “There is a one in a near town. We could go to check it out”

“Uh, you sure?” you looked between the colourful pics on his phone to his excited face. “Iron Man might be the biggest attraction”

“It’s a small town. With sun-glasses and a hat if fine” Tony shrugged. “And it’ll be just a quick look. Maybe ride a few things”

It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to go – it was that you didn’t want to go. Not so pleasant memories plagued your mind when you thought about a traveling carnival, one much more smaller in your hometown. You had been a teenager back then, maybe fourteen or sixteen, but you remembered it with every detail.

What Tony meant by ‘ride a few things’, was trying everything in the carnival once or twice, and even proposing to buy one of them to your own apartment. You had been with him before to an amusement park before, but it was different. They were safer, and you didn’t wobble dangerously when you rode something.

“I don’t really like traveling carnivals” you confessed as the waiter left two rounded, brown puddings on the table. You waited a second until he left with a non-necessary reverence to talk again. “Bad memory, so I don’t really…”

“It’s fine” Tony smiled at you, reaching for his plate. “There are a few beautiful beaches we can spend the day in.”

He pushed your own puddings towards your side, and focused on his. Against what people thought about Tony Stark, when he wasn’t on a formal event, he didn’t have any manners at all. The first bite of the pudding had him moaning so obscenely that you had to look around to check there wasn’t anyone around you.

Tony talked with his mouth full, stained the corners of his lips and almost dropped half of it on his shirt. Watching him enjoy his food was one the things you enjoyed most about life, and you quickly forgot about the carnival.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Tony ended up leaving a too generous tip to the wide eyed waiter, who almost melted in thankfulness and left jumping from one feet to another. He also left a small envelope for the chef; and after that, you linked hands and exited the restaurant. Before going to the hotel, he walked you around the city, and told you that his mom was Italian and that he used to come here to visit his grandparents.

Once in the hotel, you were too tired to do anything more than brush your teeth and fall to the bed with only half of your pyjamas on. Tony followed close, tugging your jeans all the way down and tucking you in.

“You know” he started as he turned off his phone and put on his own pyjamas. “I also had a real bad experience on a traveling carnival when I was younger. I didn’t step on one for four years after that”

“What happened?” you asked with your eyes closed.

“My friends and I drank before going, and then I got on the Ferris wheel. Got sick and threw up all over a really pretty girl” he told you. “It was so embarrassing – she left without saying anything and her friends glared at me for the rest of the night”

As Tony got rolled into the story about the girl who had ran off and how he had tried to find her later to apologize, you thought about your own motives to not go to a carnival anymore. Your sleepy brain had a hard time grasping any other concept than the necessity to sleep, but you managed to hum at the right moment so that Tony continued his story.

It was when he was finished that he finally scooted over and you were ready to call it a night. Still with your eyes closed, you decided to give your last opinion on the anecdote, knowing how much Tony liked when he knew he was being listened to.

“I can’t imagine the poor girl’s face” you chuckled softly. “A boy rode into the Ferris with me when I was younger too, and threw up all over me. It was –“

Your head sprung up at the same time as Tony looked at you with wide eyes. You didn’t remember much about that night – only that there wasn’t enough space on a carriage to carry four people, so you had chosen to ride with your cousin and both of your friends waited for the next. Then, a pale boy with dishevelled hair had entered on the last second, and when the thing had started, closed his eyes and leaned back.

Your cousin had held your arm and had tried to stop you from reaching for the boy, but you had felt bad and had tried to touch his arm and ask if he was okay. When he raised his head, he had emptied his stomach on your new trousers and shoes. And until the ride finished, you got stuck in a closed cabin – with no ventilation – with a half-passed out boy who only stuttered apologies and with the worse smell in the world, that almost made you throw up too.

“Oh my god” you covered your mouth and hid an incredulous smile. “You were – you were him”

“No” Tony didn’t sound too convinced, and was looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “There are a lot of people who puke in the Ferris wheel. It doesn’t have to –“

“It was in Manhattan, 1988” you interrupted him, enjoying how his face went to confusion to utter disgust. “You threw up on me five years before we met”

Tony tore his eyes from you and let his mouth hang open, his face showing every inch of disgust you had felt for the traveling carnivals since that moment. Only the thought of going to one of them brought back the long minutes stuck on the cabin with the disgusting smell.

You burst laughing when Tony gagged on nothing and bent over himself on the bed, probably remembering the experience. That Tony had said that it had been a ‘pretty girl’ made your heart flutter in your chest, because he still didn’t know it was you. And when you thought about it, you should have known. The boy who had thrown up on you was Tony without a beard and a bit younger.

“It’s been five years, Y/N” Tony looked horrified with himself. “I can’t believe I’m just noticing – and I’m so, so sorry”

You could barely breath from how hard you were laughing, all the sleep and tiredness gone. It took both of you a while to calm down, and finally Tony looked as if he could bare the sight of you again. When he did, a small smile broke through his lips.

“I guess first impressions aren’t that important, hm?”

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists​, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

#tony stark #tony stark imagine #tony stark one shot #tony stark x reader #tony stark fic #imagine your otp #otp prompts #iron man #iron man imagine #iron man one shot #iron man x reader #iron man fic #robert downey jr #robert downey jr imagine #robert downey jr one shot #robert downey jr x reader #robert downey jr fic #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers one shot #avengers x reader #avengers fic #imaginemai #imaginesmai

[starthecozy]

1, 11 & 14 for salty asks 😎

yassssss thank you for the ask Dim! <3 1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* I mean, if you tweak things a bit you can make almost anything make sense xD but uhhh for The Hobbit, I'm not a fan of Thorin/Thranduil, it's the only one most talked about that I can remember and go "nope". I'm not a multishipper so Bilbo/Thorin is the only combination I like :,D one of them with other people is hhhhhhh no. On LoTR, you can't imagine my face of horror when I thought Aragorn/Éowyn could happen LMAO. (I'm blatantly ignoring ships involving cousins or siblings, it goes without saying) 11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why? On The Hobbit I saw much whining about Tauriel but I genuinely like her, it's a refreshing character and I wished we could have seen more of her in other contexts. On LoTR, Tom Bombadil!! I adore him and Goldberry so much!! I love their appearance on the book, not everything needs to build into the Main and Important Plot, sometimes just learning small details about that universe is incredibly interesting. Everything points that these characters are nature spirits of this incredibly old place, one of the last remnants of the Old Woods of Middle Earth. Seeing how they interact with the angry and revengeful forest around them while keeping a safe haven on their comfy house is magical and treasure it <3 14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? ...I'm sure I would have something deep and important about lotr but I cant for the life of me Think Deeply right now lolol For the Hobbit, I enjoyed the movies and the fact that it was three didnt feel dragged. Some things could have been made differently for sure but I dont have GRRRR STRONG REPULSION or anything like that. Wished we could have seen more of Beorn? But that's just because I like him and the whole period on his house is so peaceful and interesting;;; And even more dwarves bonding and being them individual selves :> it was a nice experience nonetheless, even more considering how the lotr movies made Gimli's character so different and empty compared to the books.

#star answers #nice that I remembered about Tom and Goldberry!! I like them so much #and had no idea they were disliked by some until I saw many many MANY comments about it on internet lololol

[bootlegsymphony]

Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]

*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*

Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.

Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.

First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.

But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.

I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.

But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.

In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.

Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.

But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.

For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.

I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.

It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.

If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.

Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.

But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?

Komaeda.

It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.

And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.

I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.

Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?

It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.

They had no choice of not knowing each other well.

Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.

In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.

It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.

#nagito komaeda #hajime hinata #komahina #komahinawriteup #Komaeda Essay Club #dr2meta #danganronpa2

[epiphanyrook]

Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I am never not thinking of you.

―Virginia Woolf.

#detective anna #detective anna edit #anna x shtolman #anna x yakov #anna mironova #yakov shtolman #period drama #perioddramaedit #perioddramacentral #perioddramasource #russianperioddrama #otp: without you my life would be different it would be empty #otp #otpsource #tv show #mine

[laudedliar]

For the OTP Extra-Dramatic Post - as @noire-pandora has requested

#1: Who would make a deal with the devil

Dorian had been told Cullen was seen in the city of Val Chevin. That Scout Harding had almost taken the man’s life out of pity.

”Please, no. Let me speak with him.” Dorian had begged over the sending crystal with the Inquisitor. “I’m in Orlais, I can be to him within the week. Please, I don’t ask you for anything. Please give me a chance. Let me try to save him.”

The Inquisitor, as hard of a man as he was, thankfully took Dorian’s pleas for mercy to heart.

”I won’t have him sullying the Inquisition’s reputation. You have a week to get him off the street.” Inquisitor Cadash said. The line was drawn.

And now Dorian found himself scouring the streets and back alleys, looking for the blonde Templar. Heart pounding, he knew that Harding was following behind him wraithlike, watching, ready to report back to Cadash if he were to fail in finding Cullen.

“You can help me you know.” Dorian called out after yet another alleyway proved unsuccessful.

There was a soft rustling sound and Harding stepped out from behind a stack of crates. She watched him carefully, blue-green eyes hard as they gazed upon him. “I’m not supposed to assist. Inquisitor’s orders.”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Dorian shrugged his shoulders. He hadn’t assumed Cadash was the jealous type. But a spurned lover, it appeared, was not an easily won ally.

“He knows a lot more than you think.” Harding warned, but she stepped towards Dorian all the same.

“He’s still sore about my leaving, then?” The Tevinter asked, even as he followed in the scout’s footsteps to the end of the alleyway and back onto the street. She didn’t answer, only glanced over her shoulder at Dorian.

“And other... things.” The dwarven woman was as astute in her observations as ever.

“Ah. Yes, well. He was the one who only wanted a part time... Thing.” Dorian’s hand waved about as if he could fish the word he was looking for from the air.

They walked down another dirty, stinking alleyway, Harding easily jumping over a puddle of what was most likely piss. Possibly vomit. A dirty, haggard man reached out his hand towards Dorian, begging for coins as they passed. He did his best not to let his disgust show on his face.

Harding paused just before another slumped figure. Dorian paused as well, head tilted to the side as he watched the dwarf carefully. She stared right back at him. An uncomfortable moment passed between the two.

“You wanted help? Here. He’s right here.” Harding waved her hand towards the reeking person beside them.

Dorian’s throat constricted as he glanced over at the emaciated corpse-like being. Once sun-blonde hair now matted and filthy. Golden-brown eyes that had been so bright were now dull and empty. Ragged clothing hung to the man’s thin body. No longer the strong Lion of Fereldan. Dorian now looked upon the diseased, withered shell of Cullen’s darkest fears. He knelt down beside him, one hand lifting a silk handkerchief to his nose to block the rancid smell that surrounded the man.

“Cullen?” He asked, voice hushed.

Those dull brown eyes slowly slid to look in the general direction of Dorian’s face.

“Do you have any spare coin?” A raspy voice asked. Nothing like the calming tenor Dorian remembered.

“I’m here to help you. Do you remember who I am?” Dorian shifted slightly where he knelt, glancing around the filthy alley. Some other beggars were watching with a slight interest and suddenly the mage felt acutely aware of his fine clothing and jewelry.

“We shouldn’t linger.” Harding announced unexpectedly. Grey eyes blinked at the dwarf, surprised to still see her there. “I suggest we pick him up and leave. If that’s what you were thinking? Unless you just wanted to see him like this....” There was a hint of scorn in the woman’s tone.

“Of course. You’re right. You don’t mind helping me?” Dorian asked, even as he stood from where he kneeled.

“Just don’t tell Cadash.” She warned, stepping towards Cullen.

The man blinked at them as they closed in on him. “I don’t have anything right now. I told you last time, I’ll pay you when I get the money.”

“We’re here to help you.” Dorian soothed, even as he tried to grab the man’s arm to pull him from where he sat against the wall.

“No! I promise, I’ll pay! I know I’m behind, I’m just waiting on some money to be sent in the mail. He said he would send me more, it’ll be here soon-”

Dorian felt bile rise in his throat. If Cullen was talking about what he thought he was, it was in reference to a letter the man had sent to Dorian years prior. Asking him for a small loan. Dorian had promised to send him money. Had, in actuality, sent him money. But the courier had returned a few weeks later, coin pouch with him. He had been unable to locate the Templar, saying that there hadn’t been a man named Cullen Rutherford at the inn in Denerim.

“Cullen, please. It’s me, Dorian! I’m here, I’m here to help you!” A large, dirty hand slapped against his chest futilely. “Please.” He couldn’t help the whine in his tone.

“Just get him up, we’re drawing attention.” Harding hissed, already tucked under Cullen’s other arm.

Dorian glanced over his shoulder towards a few of the other haggard beggars in the street. Some were getting to their feet, the cold glint of steel in their hands as they watched the two attempt to get Cullen up.

“Would be nice if your magic was actually useful.” Harding grunted.

For someone as emaciated as the Templar was he was surprisingly still heavy. Dorian and Harding panted heavily as they dragged him through the streets and back to the mage’s hotel. The front clerk watched them, an undisguised look of disgust at the smell that followed.

“I need a bath prepared, lots of water and soap. Scissors as well. And food!” Dorian said as they began hauling the man up the stairs to his room. “Now!” He hollered when the clerk just stood staring at them.

The bath was brought up expediently, along with extra jugs of hot water and bars of good soap. Getting Cullen into the bath, however, was a completely different story. The man struggled against Dorian, pushing him away as he tried to get the ragged shirt off the other’s body. Harding had already left, muttering about Dorian ‘being on his own’.

“Let go of me! I will not be subjected to your blood rituals, mage!” Cullen shouted as a plume of white fire burst from him.

It felt like all the air in the room had been sucked away instantly. As if he had been slammed down face first into the ground from a two story fall, wind knocked from his lungs. The entire world coalesced into a pinpoint that centered around the dirty, ragged Templar and Dorian suddenly knew fear. Breathless, heart stopping fear that skittered over his skin and rippled under his scalp.

He had been subjected to the red Templar’s anti-magic spells but he had been ready for them, aware of what was about to happen. He would never have ever expected Cullen to Silence him. And not with such force.

It took a moment for his head to clear, his lungs achingly attempting to pull air in. Dorian stumbled back, hand grasping the edge of the bed as he tried to pull himself back from the abyss he’d been thrown into.

And as he did, grey eyes locked with honey-brown. Brown eyes that seemed, for that instant, clear and aware of what had just happened.

“Dorian?” Cullen asked, looking frail and frightened. His hands clutched at his dirty shirt and he was looking around the room in confusion. “Where am I? Why are you here?”

Dorian stumbled to stand up straight, still gasping for breath. “Cullen! Oh, Maker! You’re here with me, you’re okay now. I’m here.”

“Why?” The blonde was stepping back from him, shame and guilt pinching his face. “Why are you here?” There was the sound of a sob edging the other’s tone.

“Now, now. Don’t fret over it. You’re safe now. I’m going to help you.” He felt like he was trying to calm a spooked animal, soothing the larger man as he stepped forward step by tiny, sliding step.

“I-” Cullen paused as he took in the room around them. “I’m not quite sure I understand.” He looked down at his hands, the nails torn and crusted in filth, his fingers scarred and tattered. “I’m afraid I’ve forgotten quite a lot.”

“Let’s get you a bath first, hm?” Dorian motioned for the bath tub. The water had cooled considerably.

Cullen was surprisingly easy to deal with in this state. Though he kept repeating himself, saying again and again he didn’t know where he was and he didn’t understand why Dorian was there. But whenever Dorian moved away to get more soap, or the scissors to trim the man’s now clean hair, Cullen was quick to reach for him and grab his hand. Like a child afraid to be without their parent nearby.

The bath water was so dark with filth by the time they finished Dorian couldn’t see the white porcelain bottom.

“I’m going to get some food, and have the servants come to take away the bath.” He said soothingly to Cullen, the man sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in a bath robe. “It’ll be alright, I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Tears were gathering in the other’s eyes and he nodded slowly as Dorian opened the door and stepped into the hallway. The door was slowly shutting when a soft whimper came from the blonde.

“Please don’t leave me! It’s so dark all the time, I can’t remember wh-who I- why am I here?”

”You’re rather foolish for a mage. Always following me around. Do you know what I’ve done to mages who bothered me in the past? What is it about me that excites you so much you feel the need to be a rock in my shoe?” Cullen asked, eyes lifting from the paperwork strewn across his desk as Dorian sauntered into his tower.

“I came to see if you would care for a game of chess. There’s no one else here that can even come close to my prowess in battle.”

“Your prowess.” Cullen snorted and returned to his work. “I have utterly defeated you every game. I find it difficult to believe anyone else would be unable to also pummel your pride.”

Dorian clutched his chest above his heart. “You wound me sir! Such venomous words from so sweet a face! When all I ask for is but a moment of your time.” He dramatically slumped against the ladder and pouted at the ex-Templar.

A small smile slowly stretched it’s way over Cullen’s lips and he looked up at Dorian through long lashes. “Alright, alright. Let me finish here and we can play a game or two.”

“Please.” Cullen begged again and it brought Dorian pause, his head leaning against the wood of the doorway.

“I’ll be right back, Cullen. I promise. I promise.” He answered, tears of his own gathering along his lower lashes and spilling warm and salty down his cheeks. The door clicked close and soft wheezing sobs escaped the mage. After a moment he was able to gather himself together, hands roughly wiping at the tear tracks down his cheeks as he headed along the hallway to get the servants.

The next morning Dorian awoke, his arms wrapped around Cullen’s waist, the other’s back pressing warm against Dorian’s chest. He could smell the lyrium on the man. Like a sharp electric scent that tinged the air. It mixed with the smell of clean skin and the underlying scent that was Cullen.

”You smell... different.” Dorian said as they sat at the long dining tables in SkyHold’s main hall eating dinner.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Cullen said, his sharp tone telling everyone around he didn’t want to talk about the subject the mage was broaching. But Dorian was ever one to press an issue.

“It smells familiar somehow. Like a lightning storm.” Dorian whiffed the air again, ignoring the warning glance that Cassandra shot his way.

“Leave me be, mage.” Cullen snarled as he stabbed his fork forcefully into a piece of potato.

“It reminds me of...” A mana potion. It reminded him of the smell of a freshly opened mana potion. “You’re taking lyrium again?” He asked, his voice lowering to a horrified hush.

“I said leave me be.” Cullen growled as he pushed away from his barely touched meal and stormed out of the hall. The companions that had sat nearby watched him go in horrified silence.

Everything had gone downhill from then. Cullen had withdrawn from the others, pouring himself into his work instead. He’d ignored Dorian’s overtures for chess games. Had not even blinked when the mage had joined Sera in ‘pranking’ the Commander.

Dorian’s arms tightened around the sleeping man. He had spent so much time and money trying to locate the Templar. He had almost lost hope as the days had turned to months, which turned to years. But when Cadash had contacted him, telling him that the Commander had been found...

He pressed a soft kiss to the back of the man’s head, lacing his fingers between thick, calloused ones. The gentle steady rhythm of the other’s breathing filled the quiet room.

”C’mon. You haven’t left this room in four days!” Dorian complained. “Are you really that upset about the Inquisitor disbanding the Inquisiton?”

“What am I going to do, Dorian?” The man asked, sitting hunched on the edge of his bed.

“I don’t know. You could come with me? I can show you such wonderful things. Have you ever been to a concerto grosso?” Dorian asked, reaching a hand out to touch Cullen’s shoulder. He sat down beside the other, his hand sliding around the man’s back to pull him in for a sidelong hug. “Oh! Or the Gardens on the River in Verchiel?”

“I’ve been to the Gardens.” Cullen said despondently.

“Think of this as... A vacation! Hm?” He gently shook the man’s shoulders trying to cheer him up.

“I have nothing left, Dorian.” The utter hopelessness in the man’s voice crushed his heart.

“No, no. Don’t say that. You have me. I will always, always be there for you. No matter what.” Dorian promised.

“Why?” Cullen asked, eyes glassy.

“Because I care about you.” A single shoulder shrug.

“But why?”

He paused, mulling over the man’s question. “Because... You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Because you care so deeply. Because you are so adamant about everything you stand for. You never waver in your convictions.”

“I wavered in one.” The other man said softly, staring down at his hands.

Dorian could never forgive Cadash for forcing the blonde to take lyrium again. “You didn’t. It wasn’t you.”

“I can’t stop myself. It’s like I’m stuck in a whirlpool and I can’t swim out. It’s frightening. It wasn’t like this before, Dorian.”

“I’m here. I can help you. Just... reach for my hand, won’t you?” Dorian pleaded.

Golden brown eyes looked up into his own, so much pain and fear held within it crushed him beneath it’s weight.

He was unable to stop himself as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against the blonde’s thin, scarred ones. It surprised him when the man didn’t pull away but instead returned the kiss tentatively. The kiss grew in intensity rapidly. Like a stoked fire, hands began to rove over cloth and grasped at warm skin beneath. Kisses turned from soft tentative exploration to open mouthed, teeth clashing, and needy.

Dorian was swept away by problematic emotions as they came together in a carnal rush. Like his own rising concerto, his body sung with his release as Cullen kissed him again and again. It last an eternity. And ended too soon. Bodies lay entangled in the sticky aftermath of their encounter. The Templar’s heavy, solid weight upon Dorian was welcome, and the mage wrapped his limbs around the other as they shared more soft kisses in their post coital glow.

“You’ll come with me in the morning?” Dorian asked in a hushed whisper against tousled blonde locks.

“I’ll think about it.” Cullen murmured sleepily. Together they slipped into sated sleep, arms encircling and holding close.

The next morning Dorian awoke to a cold, empty bed. A letter of apology on the pillow next to him.

I’m afraid I can’t go with you You are my only friend and I would not burden you unduly

Thank you for everything

Yours Always, C. Rutherford.

Dorian was caught off guard as an elbow slammed back against his ribs, knocking the wind from him. Cullen crawled from the bed, his hands clutching the robe wrapped around him.

“Who are you.” The man growled, eyes once more glossy and far away. “Why am I...” He paused, looking down at the thin robe that barely concealed anything at all. “I...” Dorian rubbed at his chest and groaned as he sat up slowly. “Was I... Was it enough?” The blonde asked, clearly concerned about whatever it was he thought the two had gotten up to the night before.

“It’s me, Cullen. Dorian. And was what enough?” The mage asked, still rubbing at his sore solar plexus as he slid to the edge of the bed, his silken pajamas rustling softly with each movement.

“Was it enough to cover my debt? And maybe... Maybe more?” There was a strange light that came to the man’s eyes and suddenly Dorian knew exactly what it was that Cullen was asking.

“No. No. This wasn’t anything like that. Cullen, surely you remember me. Dorian Pavus.” He swallowed down the sickness that was threatening to rise from his gut. “It’s me, amatus.” He whispered, slowly approaching the confused man.

Cullen was shaking his head as if he didn’t believe what he was hearing. “N-no. Look, I just need a little to last me the week. One vial, I’ll do whatever it is you want. Just one vial.”

A sick tightness gripped his throat and Dorian swallowed thickly once. Twice. “You don’t need any of that. You’ve quit it before. You can do it again. I’m here now, and I’ll help you. We can do this. Together.”

Anger flashed over the haggard man’s features. Brown eyes glanced around the room and the robe was dropped as he picked up his freshly cleaned, but still ragged, clothes from a nearby chair. Dorian watched as the man pulled them on and the blonde stumbled towards the door.

Quickly the mage stepped forward, grabbing Cullen’s forearm and pulling him away roughly from the door. “No. No, you’re staying here with me.” Fear flashed cold down his spine when those brown eyes focused on him, the threat of another burst of the Templar’s wrath imminent.

“I paid you what was owed! You have no right to keep me here!” The blonde cried, trying to wrench his arm from Dorian’s grip. But the mage was better fed, and thusly stronger than the once sturdy warrior.

“It’s for your own good!” Dorian cried. He may have been stronger but it was still a struggle to keep the writhing man from breaking free.

A fist lashed out, slamming against his jaw and lights flashed before Dorian’s eyes as his head jerked to the side with the blow. He grunted in pain, briefly releasing his hold on the other. Just long enough the man was able to escape out the door and rush down the hallway, bare feet pounding muffled against the lush carpeted floor of the inn.

“Forgive me.” Dorian hissed as he cast Terror upon the fleeing man.

Cullen’s body seized up and he froze in his step near the top of the stairs. The mage rushed forward and quickly grabbed the terror frozen man, dragging him back to the room. The deadbolt in the door was locked firmly and Dorian waited patiently while the effects of the spell wore off. He was ready for the rage surely about to be released upon him.

But it never came. Instead, when finally released from the horror of the spell, Cullen crawled to the corner of the room and huddle with his knees against his chest, arms wrapped around them as he rocked back and forth.

It was like that for days. Cullen would beg and plead Dorian for lyrium, promising him he’d pay him. Do whatever he wanted. One time, Cullen had even fallen to knees in front of Dorian, hands quickly trying to pry open the front of his pants. But the Tevinter had pushed him away, horrified at the implications the act made of the blonde’s recent past.

And when the mage refused to give him anything, the Templar would escape the room. Or attempt to.

That was only during the day. The nights quickly devolved into nightmare. When Cullen would actually sleep he would toss and turn, moaning in pain as he burned with fever and left the sheets soaked in sweat. And when he didn’t sleep, he would hunch in the corner of the room, muttering to himself and scratch at his skin as if insects crawled over him.

Dorian found himself crying more than not as the days passed and the symptoms of withdraw grew worse. He hadn’t planned on staying so long in Val Chevin. He had been expected back in Qarinus a day ago. During one of Cullen’s fretful episode’s of sleep he left the room and sent a letter back home to Maevaris, apologizing for his absence and promising a swift return. But he knew it was a lie. Return would be delayed. For an unforeseeable amount of time.

The days turned into weeks. Harding had stopped by once to check on him, letting him know that if he needed help (any kind of help) she was nearby. Dorian knew what the offer entailed.

“I’m not giving up on him.” Dorian had told her, arms over his chest.

“Would he have done the same for you?” She asked. “Lyrium withdraw can get pretty bad. Violent even. Just... don’t make Cadash regret giving you the chance, okay?”

The dwarven woman was loyal to a fault. Dorian appreciated her for it. Not many would have remained just in case.

As time rolled by Dorian felt his own sanity leaving him. He wasn’t sure just how long they’d been locked inside the room. Every day blurred into the next. If it wasn’t for the passing of the sun, Dorian wasn’t even sure he would know day from night.

He watched from his chair as Cullen sat staring at a wall, muttering unintelligibly as he scratched with ragged nails at the wood paneling of the room. Dorian’s own fingernails were chewed down to the quick as he watched the man hunched in the corner destroy the interior of the rented room.

He bit too far down, the coppery tang of blood on his tongue as he tore a chunk of nail off painfully. Grey eyes stared as a small bead of blood gathered on the end of his finger. Possibilities bloomed within the sanguine drop.

He could save Cullen. He just needed help.

The bleeding finger was shoved further into Dorian’s mouth and he bit down hard, teeth tearing at the nail bed, drawing forth more blood as he searched the ether for that desired help.

His call was answered faster than he imagined. His conscious mind pulled from his physical form to the Fade. He knew the Fade, knew the feel, the smell, the taste. He knew he needed to remain calm, even as he found himself walking the familiar, yet hazy, lower courtyard grounds of SkyHold. Most things were in their remembered place. But not all. A blink and he was walking along the battlements towards Cullen’s tower. His feet never faltered, knowing the Demon was toying with him. Trying to unsettle him, make him easier prey.

The heavy wooden door of the tower swung open and Dorian stepped into the familiar office. Mostly familiar. There was an extra bookcase on the far wall, filled with copies of ‘Hard in Hightown’. Some volumes yet to even be published. If ever they were.

She stood there, the Desire demon. Staring at the stacks of paper that littered the top of the desk.

“It’s been a long time, Dorian.” She crooned, low sultry voice echoing through the Fade.

“Not long enough, I’m afraid.” He answered, jaw set in determination.

“What is it you come to me for? You weren’t interested in what I had to offer last time. Or... Maybe I do know.” As she turned her true form shimmered and altered until before him stood a young Cullen Rutherford. Far younger than even Dorian knew him. Fresh faced, eyes bright with an eagerness the blonde man probably hadn’t shown since his early twenties. He wore the Templar armor, shined to perfection, red sash perfectly tied at his hip and holding his once ever-present sword at the ready. “Is this what you’re after?” The Demon asked, now in Cullen’s own familiar tenor.

“A little young for my taste.” Dorian quipped back.

“Hm. Then perhaps...” The youthful figure before him shimmered, the Templar breast plate turning a darker color, the great red plume of fur replacing the large ornate pauldrons, and a more aged face appearing. A wiser face. Familiar scars and creases lining the Demon-blonde’s visage.

“Better. But I didn’t come to play dress up. I came to ask a favor.” Dorian said, turning away from the figure before him to look at the bookcase against the wall.

The Seventh Blight, a History sat beside Horrors of the Third Inqusition. Dorian wondered at the truth of the titles. The Fade sat in between time, living all ages simultaneously. What was, is, and could possibly be.

“What you wish of me is not an easy task.” Demon-Cullen stated, drawing Dorian’s attention back to him. “Templars take lyrium to not only protect from magic, but also demons.”

“Your kind were able to infect the Seekers easily enough, and they had taken lyrium. I just want you to... Help him.”

“You want me to bring this one back. Which is impossible. Why not just stay here and be with me? It’s much easier. And so much more pleasurable. For all involved.” The Demon-Cullen stepped close to Dorian, one of his hands reaching up to stroke along Dorian’s cheek in a loving manner. He moved closer, closing the distance between them and pressed a warm, stubble rough kiss to Dorian’s mouth.

“No. If you won’t do what I want, I’ll find another.” Dorian was quick to the door, his heart pounding in dread at what he was doing. The game he was playing. The way the Demon’s offer was so tantilizing.

Demon-Cullen sighed heavily. “Fine! What are your terms?” He asked.

Dorian paused at the door, hand on the handle ready to flee at any sign of trouble. “I want him cured of the lyrium madness. I want him sane. I want him healthy.”

“I assume he need to remember you?” The Demon asked, looking at his nails as if bored with the transaction already.

“Yes.”

“And love you?” Golden eyes glinted with malice as they looked at him.

“I want him as he was. As he is. Nothing more, nothing less.” Dorian slowly turned, arms crossing over his chest as he faced the Demon once more.

“It will be difficult. You’ll need to cast a ritual so I can enter his space... Even now, with you so close, I can smell the lyrium in him.” The Demon-Cullen glanced at the door of the tower as if he could see past it and into the room where Dorian’s body remained. Where Cullen remained huddled in the corner, lost in his insanity.

“And in return?” Dorian asked. His throat flexed rigid, breath catching as brown eyes met grey.

“I want you. Tit for tat. A life for a life.” The Demon said, Cullen’s lips stretching into a wide, feral grin.

Dorian’s jaw shuddered, teeth clattering behind his tightly sealed lips. “You ask too much.” His voice quavered just slightly.

The Demon paused, mulling over it’s options. It knew Dorian could find a better deal elsewhere. Could find a simpler demon to assist in what he asked, and the stupid demon would probably do it for a lollipop and a hand job.

“Five years hence, then.” The Demon-Cullen bartered, knowing such a deal would not present itself again with such a wonderfully exquisite specimen for a very long time indeed.

“And then what?”

“You become my vessel. Don’t worry, as long as it’s agreed upon you’ll retain your good looks. I never liked the monstrous form some take. And the fun one can get up to with such a fine exterior...” The Demon-Cullen ran his hand down the front of Dorian’s chest in an appreciative manner.

Dorian stepped back from the Demon and brushed at his shirt front as if to push away the lingering feel of the other’s fingers. “Ten years.” He countered.

“Six.”

“Eight.”

The Demon contemplated him carefully. “Ah. The things you humans do for love. Deal.”

The tower flashed bright and disappeared, Dorian gasped for breath as he awoke once more within the room of the inn. He knew the ritual that needed to be done. The knowledge was just there, inside him. Slowly standing from his chair, Dorian crossed the room towards the still muttering, mad Templar.

His hand found it’s way to soft wavy blonde locks and fingers threaded through the fine hairs. Heart thumped against his ribs and he leaned in to press a soft kiss to the man’s temple. As he pulled away, he recited the incantation, once more ripping at the still sore skin of his finger and drawing forth more of his blood. A hot, white light illuminated around the blonde and a rising sound like that of whistling wind over hot desert sand drowned out all else within the room.

He was thrown back into the chair he’d risen from, the wooden furniture smashing into pieces as his body slammed against it. The splintered wood pierced his skin and he cried out as whatever spell he’d cast drew from his life essence to fuel the Demon’s work. Blood swirled in ribbons around the now white hot glowing Templar. He could see Cullen writhing as if he were in pain, back arched, limbs flailing. But it was difficult to look directly at the other man like he were the midday sun and Dorian a cave dweller.

The whistling wind grew, tossing about other pieces of furniture. They slammed hard against the walls, barely missing Dorian where he lay curled up on the floor. The bed shook and rattled across the floor boards, sheets torn from it and whipping about the room as well.

It seemed to never end.

But end it did.

The furniture that had been zipping about fell to clatter on the floor. Sheets lazily drifted down to cover Dorian where he lay. The wind stopped and the only sound within the room was the rasping wheeze of his breath. Eventually he peeked out from under the silken sheets that covered him to glance at the corner where Cullen remained.

Honey-brown eyes, no longer glossy or lost, looked at him from across the room.

“Dorian?” Cullen called, his voice thready and weak.

“Cullen.” He sat up fully, rushing across the room to the other man still huddled where he’d been all day. “Cullen, Maker be praised!” He cried as his arms wrapped their way around the shivering man. Warm kisses fluttered over the blonde’s face.

“I thought... I thought you were in Tevinter. I tried to send you letters but...” Cullen said, his voice shaking. But the larger man didn’t push Dorian away even as the mage continued to press excited kisses to his sunken cheek.

“I’m here now, amatus. I will never leave you again. I promise.” Dorian whispered against stubble rough skin. And he meant it.

Tick Tock. A sultry voice whispered.

#cullrian #dorian pavus #cullen rutherford #demon #lyrium #withdrawal