#park chanyeol rec | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suphoshi · 4 years

Photo

TEMPERED GLASS | Park Chanyeol x female reader

Genre: Angst, some fluff

Warnings: possible triggers for anyone with anxiety/panic disorders, a few bad words... can’t really think of anything else

Word count: 6,594

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast.

It is not proud. It does not dishonor others.

It is not self-seeking.

It is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects. Always trusts. Always hopes. Always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Love never fails. It doesn’t. It can’t. How could it fail? You have Chanyeol. You have him, so you have everything. So why are you empty? His body in the same bed as you, but where was his soul? Your tears filling the shower, answer-less prayers to feel his touch. Did he smile? Did he ever smile, or was it a dream? No, if anything it was a nightmare. He said he loved you. He did. Didn’t he? He said it before, you can remember his voice, down on one knee. Love never fails.

Right?

The voice in your head is too loud, and you just want Chanyeol to kiss you

Chanyeol used to be your favorite Sunday morning. Light streaming through the window, arm draped over your waist, soft snores in your ear. It was the best sound you had ever heard because it came from the person you loved the most on earth. You’d run your hands through his thick, messy hair and wake him up with kisses on his cheek. His dimples would sink in with a smile and eventually he’d pounce on you, kissing you everywhere but your lips. He tickled your soul in so many ways, made a home out of his heart just for you.

“I love you.”

You missed those days, where your biggest worry was making dinner, hoping he would like it despite the fact that you couldn’t cook for anything.

Now you worried about everything.

‘Will he come home tonight?’, ‘Is he working?’, ‘Has he eaten?’, ‘Who is he talking to?’, ‘Why doesn’t he smile anymore?’

The endless stream of questions barraged your thoughts from the second you woke up in the morning to the second you closed your eyes at night. It was maddening.

At first, he just got home late, always pushed it off as being busy, telling you he missed you. Always kissing you goodnight. Then the busy days turned to busy weeks. Then to busy months. You couldn’t remember the last time he even said goodnight, let alone kissed you.

You could feel your soul splitting day by day, a piece of you missing in every moment that went by where he didn’t speak to you. It felt like a punishment, the deafening silence he thrust upon you, but you didn’t know what you did to deserve it. Didn’t know when your Chanyeol became something that was no longer yours.

“I’m working late this week.” He said quietly, interrupting the ever-constant thoughts racing through your mind. You sat cross legged on the bed, picking at the chipped nail polish on your toes, looking up to find him pulling a hoodie over his head.

“Oh?” It’s all you could form over the sinking feeling in your heart, chest deflating at the thought of another night alone. It wasn’t any better than him being there, backs facing each other while you slept, no words, no warmth, but still. At least he was there.

He simply hummed in response before pulling a beanie over his head and grabbing his phone. He didn’t even spare you a glance, let alone a goodbye before walking out of the room. He used to lay in bed with you before work, holding you tight to his chest, milking every second he could before he had to leave. He’d tell you over and over how much he loved you, how he wished he could stay home forever.

The cold you felt around you now when you heard the front door open and close now was almost numbing. Almost.

You walked into the bathroom and somehow found the will to turn the shower on. The hot water was scalding, but that was okay because at least it took your thoughts away from spending another night alone. You stood under he steaming stream until you felt too dizzy to stand, then you sat until the water turned cold, tears mixing with the drops that pooled down your cheeks, fear gripping you like a knife when there was nothing left to distract you from the thoughts in your head.

‘Is my marriage over?’, ‘Does he hate me?’, ‘Will he leave?’

You pressed your hands over your ears and pulled your knees to your chest, sobs wracking through you like a freight train. Your throat grew hoarse while you sat there, crying to an empty house that didn’t used to feel so empty, body shaking until you felt hollow inside, your heart a rattling sack that pushed blood through barren vessels.

Chanyeol was supposed to love you forever.

“I got you a surprise, don’t look.”

You closed your eyes as if you could relive the memory again. Held out your hand in the shower like you did years ago when he asked for it. You could almost feel him placing the ring on your left hand and opened your eyes to see where it laid now, recalled every moment of that night like it was your favorite movie.

“You are the only person who can handle me. At my best and my worst. You love me like I love you. And I want to love you forever.”

You smiled at the diamond that you’d never taken off, the thought of his words alone causing a shiver to run down your spine. It broke your heart. You covered your mouth and bit back the next wave of tears that begged to take over, the ring suddenly feeling too heavy, too meaningless. ‘How can I make him love me again?’

“Marry me?”

His smile. Down on one knee in front of you, eyes glowing, heart racing. You couldn’t recall the last time you saw him smile like that.

Chanyeol was supposed to love you forever. The thought that he didn’t anymore broke something so deep inside that you wished to feel empty. Wished you could float down the drain with all of the water that trickled around you and never come back up, a single drop of water lost in an ocean full of wonders, a place where you could hide from reality, hide from the devastation that was your life.

Instead, you pulled yourself off of the shower floor, turned the water off, and stood in front of the mirror. You went through the motions of brushing your teeth, combing your hair. You touched your cheeks and pushed your lips up into a smile that immediately fell when you moved your hands away. ‘You can be happy this way’, ‘you can love him even if he doesn’t love you’.

You should have put clothes on and gone grocery shopping. Cleaned the house. Done the laundry. Read a book. You stared at your broken reflection in the mirror and wondered how easy it would have been to break the glass, something to match how you felt inside. Something to make you feel a little less alone.

No, you couldn’t find the strength to do anything but crawl into bed naked, will yourself to sleep, and dream of Chanyeol’s smile.

Mornings were pretty dull when Chanyeol stayed at the studio. Sure, you barely spoke anymore, but at least when he was home you would drink coffee together. Even if it was in silence, you preferred it to staring at the empty space in front of you.

You pulled out your phone as you poured yourself a bowl of cereal and texted him.

To; Chanyeol [ 08:45 ];

Are you coming home tonight? I was going to make tacos for dinner!

You smiled as you pressed send, remembering an old forgotten Tuesday tradition. Taco Tuesdays with Chanyeol used to consist of watching a movie and seeing who could eat the most before the end (winner got a back rub). It was the first time in so long that you got giddy about seeing him. The idea of curling up beside him on the couch while he put on some scary movie that he had already seen a billion times, but wanted to watch one more because he thought it was funny to see you afraid – it made your heart swell three sizes. You would sit on the edge of the couch gripping his leg, free hand plastered over your eyes even though they were cracked just enough for you to see every single stupid moment.

“I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Why is she so stupid?! Why is she going in there?”

Chanyeol would laugh while you whined, hold you when you screamed. Sometimes, when the movie was quiet, he would grip your sides to scare you and you would turn around and hit him. He’d grab your hands and pull your lips to his, kiss your dramatic tears away.

“You’re such a baby.”

His deep voice resonating through your chest pressed against his. You’d pout your lip and he’d kiss you again.

“I love you.”

Your phone buzzed against the table and just like that, the fog of a happy memory was replaced by the all familiar cloud of disappointment.

Chanyeol [ 08:56 ];

Still have a lot to work on with the album. Probably won’t come home until tomorrow. Sorry

You slumped over the table and took three deep breaths, told yourself it would be okay, repeated it over and over like a mantra, as if you could speak it into reality. You told yourself that Chanyeol was just busy and it wasn’t you. Sometimes people can have space and still be okay and just because you didn’t see him every day, or kiss him every night, or touch him anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still his favorite person like you used to be.

‘Were you ever his favorite person?’

It was hard to breathe over the sobs that clawed up your throat, hand gripping your phone like you could get through to Chanyeol with that action alone. You wanted to shake him back to reality, show him what he was doing to you, but couldn’t he already see? Couldn’t he tell what he was doing?

You couldn’t control that anguish that gripped you as you sat up and stuffed a spoon full of Rice Krispies into your mouth, closing your eyes while you prayed away the sadness. Each bite you swallowed choked the tears back down, but blood still rushed through your ears with turmoil and betrayal like it never had. When you stared down at the milk that remained, all you could think of was the pieces of your heart that laid scattered around the too big house you were in, so many that you didn’t know how to put it back together again. You felt shattered. Damaged.

You’d never felt so lonely.

The next morning started like this – Chanyeol texted you an apology with no context.

Chanyeol [ 07:33 ];

I’m sorry

It was instant, the ache that settled in your bones and you immediately tried calling him, but it went straight to voicemail. Hands shaking as thoughts raked through your mind, anxiousness taking hold of your nerves and twisting them around like play-dough. You sat up on the edge of the bed and stared at the carpet, wondering what he would apologize for.

‘For not coming home?’, ‘For everything else?’

You shook your head and stood up, almost walking away to go to the bathroom when the text messages started flooding in. Your phone buzzed wildly on your pillow and even though the coward in you wanted to turn away, you couldn’t help but reach back for it instead. It was your sister, your friends. Your mom.

-Chanyeol broke up with you?

-Why is Chanyeol with another girl?

-What is going on with you and Chanyeol?

-Have you seen this article?

You were clicking on it with blind anger and fear, fingers shaking as you scrolled through picture after picture of Chanyeol with a girl you had never met. In his car, outside of his studio, her kissing his cheek, her hand on his arm while he smiled at her, something genuine that you hadn’t seen in so long. For a second, you forgot to be angry, simply happy to see that he could actually smile and it wasn’t just something you made up in your head.

But then the rage hit. Jealousy thrashed in your chest; how could he smile at her but not you? You stared at the girl’s hand on his arm and wished more than anything you could snatch it away, wanted to burn away her touch with your own, as if anyone could touch him like you did. Instead you dialed Chanyeol’s number again.

No answer.

You threw your phone at the wall and ran into the bathroom, bent over with your head between your knees to try and calm the panic you felt yourself surging inside. The world felt like it was turning upside down. Like you were being burned out of the life you built with Chanyeol, as if he had the right to leave when he was the one who said you meant everything.

“I want to love you forever”

You dropped into a squat and covered your face with your hands, so tired of crying, though the tears just wouldn’t stop coming.

‘How could he do that?’, ‘How could he lie?’, ‘How could he tell you he loved you and then lie?’

You screamed into the empty room and slammed your hands down on the floor, falling to your knees with more sobs then you could handle.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair… You pounded your fists into the linoleum as if you could smash the anger through the floor, bury it in the earth and leave it there forever. Your forehead pressed onto the cold surface beneath your hands and you begged for it all to go away. You just wanted everything to stop, you just wanted to breathe like you did when Chanyeol used to hug you.

An hour passed and you walked back to the bedroom, grabbing your phone off the floor (screen surprisingly unbroken). There were no missed calls. Only more text messages from people who were more concerned about your relationship than they were about your mental health.

You waited the entire day for some kind of follow-up to his apology. An explanation. Absolutely fucking anything. You waited for hours, sat at the kitchen table, hands balled into fists so tight that your nails dug small crescents into your palms. Eventually you moved to the living room, vacuumed to keep busy, mopped the floor, washed the dishes.

You were scrubbing the kitchen counter when he walked through the door. You threw the washcloth down and walked to him, ready to bring your fury down on him like a storm, but the second you saw his face, all of your anger disappeared.

The dark circles housed under his eyes had grown more prominent in the two days since you’d seen him. His hair was a mess, coffee stains on his shirt, looking smaller than he ever had. Defeated.

“Yeol?” You mumbled, standing up straight. His eyes met yours for barely a second, his hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, before walking to the fridge. He pulled out left-overs from a few nights before and threw them in the microwave before walking into the bedroom. You followed after him despite the voice in your head telling you to leave him alone, like he left you.

He peeled his shirt off and sat on the edge of the bed, eyes drooping like he was going to fall asleep right there.

You walked towards him and pressed your hand to his cheek. When he nuzzled into it and closed his eyes, your heart broke. You grabbed his hand and pulled him to stand up in front of you. It wasn’t sexual in the slightest, the way you pulled off his belt and unzipped his pants, pulling them down so he was left in his boxers. You guided him to the bathroom and turned on the shower, standing with his hand in yours beside you while you tested the temperature, only adjusting it slightly before turning back around.

He looked so tired and innocent, you couldn’t help but press a kiss to his cheek before you pulled down his boxers and ushered him under the water. You helped him wash from head to toe, ignoring the way you got completely soaked in the process and solely focused on making sure he was clean. Once you were finished, you pulled him out and dried him off, lead him back to the bedroom. You pulled a fresh t-shirt over his head and helped him step into a new pair of boxers before walking him back to the kitchen, sitting him down and making him eat the leftovers he heated.

You completely forgot about the pictures. The apology.

‘Tomorrow, it can wait until tomorrow’

He ate his food in silence and you had to nudge him three times to wake him up, but eventually, he finished everything. You walked him to bed, laid him down, pulled the covers up over him and ran your fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead, then walked out to the kitchen to clean up.

It was only then that the ache settled in your chest. He was right there, one room away, and you missed him so much that it took your breath away. You wanted to cry again, scream, but instead you got in the shower, washed away the sadness and climbed into bed beside him.

You wanted to watch him sleep forever. Wanted to reach out and touch him, wrap your arms around him, kiss him, but you didn’t. You didn’t know how to do those things anymore without worrying. Wondering what the next day would bring.

You were just about to roll over when he reached out and wrapped his arms around your waist. You froze, scared he was asleep and that you would wake him up if you moved. It was the first time he had held you in months, you didn’t want to ruin that, even if it was unintentional.

“I love you.”

You thought it was your imagination, his words often echoing through your mind from past memories, but no. That was real. You looked at him with glassy eyes, wondering if he said it in his sleep, but then his eyes opened to meet yours.

“I love you.” He repeated. You bit your lip to keep from crying, but he kissed you despite that, then crushed you into his chest. Your hands gripped his shirt, holding onto him for dear life, as if he would disappear any second. You had to keep him there, had to fight for him, had to keep the Chanyeol who loved you because it was the only thing that made sense.

Sleep found you only minutes later, and you didn’t have to dream of his arms. Instead you dreamt of his voice.

You woke up the next morning to Chanyeol pulling his arms away from you.

Well- ripping them away, flustered and cursing, moving around the room too quick for your tired eyes to keep up with.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up and rubbing at your face.

“I’m late.” He snapped, yanking on a sweatshirt and pulling a pair of sweats on.

You sighed and sat up on your knees. “It’s okay, you can afford to be late one day, I’m sure.”

It was like the air was sucked out of the room with that one sentence, and he stood up straight, looking at you with such ferocity that you wanted to melt into the bed beneath you.

“You don’t have a fucking clue what I can and can’t afford right now!” He shot out, and your breath hitched at the harshness of his words.

Sure, you barely had real conversations anymore and you didn’t really kiss or smile with eachother, but Chanyeol was never mean to you. And he never yelled, not at you.

You wrung your fingers and swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Well, just… Calm down. Freaking out isn’t going to help.” You said softly and he rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?”

He was grabbing his phone off of the nightstand and pulling a hat onto his head when your fears from the day before flooded into your soul again.

‘Who was she?’, ‘Why is he so mad?’

“Are you cheating on me?” You asked quietly and his head snapped towards you, eyes narrowing.

“What?”

Your blood was boiling. Skin itching with irritation. After how you took care of him the night before, despite all of the stories you heard, he was going to treat you like that?

“I said, are you cheating on me?” Your words were stronger that time, firm.

You didn’t expect the empty laugh that left his lips, the eye roll. The obvious annoyance.

“You’re so fucking stupid.” He mumbled, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

The rage rolled through you in waves. Fire burned through your chest. Your arms moved on autopilot, picking up the wedding picture on the night stand beside you and throwing it at the door he had just left through, a frustrated cry coming out like a strangled scream as the glass shattered on the floor. You half expected him to come back to make sure you were okay but heard the unmistakable opening and closing of the front door and felt exactly like the glass that lay splintered on the bedroom floor.

It took you hours to piece yourself together enough to climb out of bed. Hours to stop crying. The life you were trapped in was so exhausting, and you were tired of pretending you could fix it. Tired of letting Chanyeol ruin you. The constant resentment he tossed around when you had done nothing wrong, the never-ending insecurities he let run through you like a stampede.

You were sick of trying to make him love you again.

“Marry me?”

You were sick of trying to force the memories of your love back into him, trying to make him remember that you were his everything once when he was still yours.

‘Were you ever his everything?’

The thought made you nauseous. It felt like your heart no longer belonged to you, tethered in Chanyeol’s palm by a leash that only he had control of. You just wanted to feel free again.

You stepped over the pile of glass and walked out to the front door, pulling your shoes on. You called your sister and told her you needed her, and she’s your sister, so she picked you up fifteen minutes later, let you sob for thirsty minutes total before driving to a nearby restaurant and parking the car, turning towards you with too much sincerity and pity in her eyes. You hated it.

“You need a drink.”

Chanyeol was never one to outright complain about you being drunk, but if he was honest with himself, he hated it. You were obnoxiously loud and touchy, whining about anything and everything, talking faster than he could keep up with about things that made no sense. It was annoying. And he really didn’t have time for it. At all.

It was a really big week, the album was so close to finished, but it wasn’t perfect. He needed it to be perfect, the group couldn’t afford to disappoint anyone. They were all working so hard, practicing every day, writing until their fingers bled, fighting with the company for direction. It was too important.

Still. You were his wife. When your sister called – “she needs you” – he couldn’t say no. Even after you had both fought that morning, and he wasn’t particularly happy to see you, he got into his car and said he would be there in thirty.

He watched from across the street, you sitting on the curb outside of the bar with your sister’s arm draped around your shoulders. She brushed your hair out of your face and you smiled at her like she was actual sunshine. He rolled his eyes and pulled his seat belt off despite the butterflies he got in his stomach and waited for a break in traffic before jogging across the street.

“Hey,” He said, signaling his presence and both you and your sister looked up.

“Sorry.” Your sister mumbled, and you looked at her with your eyebrows furrowed.

“Don’t ever be sorry, not ever to anyone. We don’t have to be sorry, never.” You said wrapping your arms around her head and hugging her to your chest. She laughed and patted your back, peeling your arms away. Chanyeol’s hands wrapped around yours and pulled you to your feet, your hands resting on his chest to steady yourself. He sighed as he grabbed your waist, holding you upright.

“Do you need a ride home?” He asked your sister and she shook her head.

“I’ll get a taxi. You guys go.”

He couldn’t help the annoyance that overtook him when he realized she stuck you with him on purpose. She gave Chanyeol an annoyed smirk, peering up at him through narrowed eyes.

“Don’t make my sister cry again.” She whispered for only him to hear and he nodded in reply. Your sister tended to be a pretty scary person, so he didn’t want to cross her. She turned on her heel and walked away, leaving him alone with you.

When he looked down, you were staring up at him with the dopiest smile on your face. You pinched his cheeks and he sighed. He was so cute. He wrapped his hands around your wrists and dragged you across the street to his car, helping you into the front seat. He reached across you to buckle your seat belt, ignoring the way you touched him, pressed kisses to his neck. He abruptly pulled away and you stared at him dejectedly. When he shut your door, you turned on the radio and adjusted your seat back, staring out the window.

‘He rejected me?’, ‘How do you reject your wife?’

You felt so stupid. Getting drunk on a Wednesday, so drunk in fact, that your own sister couldn’t stand to be with you. No one could stand you, not ever, and that thought broke your heart.

Chanyeol noticed nothing of it. In fact, he relished in the silence, completely not expecting it to the usual tirade you went on after drinking. He wanted to make it all the way home, just like that, hoping to avoid an argument at all costs. He preferred when you both didn’t speak because at least it was quiet. He like the quiet.

When he pulled into the driveway, a satisfied smile found his cheeks. He thought you must have been asleep, but when he moved to turn the car off and unbuckle his seat belt, he noticed your hand covering your eyes, unmistakable tears trailing down your chin while you sniffled silently, chest stuttering with sobs he had been deaf to.

He reached over to grab your hand, but you pulled it away, yanked off your seat belt and climbed out of the car before he could even touch you. You stumbled inside and threw your shoes off in the entry way, Chanyeol one step behind.

“Y/n-” he started, but you whipped around and pressed your finger to his lips while you shushed him, tears still falling freely.

“Don’t talk to me.” You said, eyes bleeding the anger you felt, stumbling back towards your bedroom without another word.

Chanyeol was speechless. For the first time in your entire relationship. He stared after you in the entry way, unsure of what to think.

You loved talking when you were drunk, yet the only words you said to him were ‘don’t talk to me’. Is that why he missed your voice all of a sudden? Why he craved to hear you speak again?

You were one step into the room when you remembered your fatal mistake, but it was too late. You never cleaned up the glass from that morning and multiple shards jabbed their way into your heel, eliciting a scream from you.

“Ow!” You stumbled back, tears immediately falling as you pulled your foot up. Chanyeol was there in seconds, immediately assessing the situation and lifting you into his arms. He carried you to the kitchen and sat you up on the counter, crouching down to look at your foot.

“Let me see it.” He said, fingers moving up to touch one of the smaller pieces that jutted out.

“Don’t touch it, please!” You yelled through a sob, pushing his hands away.

“Babe, I have to touch it, there’s glass in there, it could get infected.” He said softly, still looking at your foot and prodding at it, only causing more pain. You gripped his shoulder and shook your head vehemently.

“No, no, no, please. It’s okay, it’s okay, it won’t get infected, it’ll be okay!” You wiped the tears from your eyes in an attempt to prove to him it was no major wound, but you knew it wouldn’t work, the dramatics already displayed.

He looked up at you, serious. “So, if it gets infected and you die, what should I do then? You want me to just be alone?”

He stood up and walked towards the cabinet that housed the expired first aid kit you bought 2 years before when you moved in.

“It’s not like you’d care.” You mumbled, wiping at your eyes again with the back for your wrist. He looked up at you, confused, and chuckled half-heartedly, dismissing your comment with a roll of his eyes.

“I wouldn’t care?” He repeated, turning back towards you and going through the small kit.

You shook your head ‘no’ and he saw it out of the corner of his eye, still determined to find the tools he needed. “You don’t love me anymore, so you would be okay.”

That time he chuckled for real, caught off guard by your statement. “I don’t love you? What are you talking about?”

He turned back, tweezers in hand, and grabbed your ankle, but you barely noticed. He looked up when he realized you weren’t making a scene like he expected, watched your eyebrows furrow together while you wrung your fingers together, anxiousness and worry on full display. The sight of you broke something inside of him. The genuine tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You don’t tell me you love me anymore. You don’t kiss me.” A small sob broke from your throat and his heart skipped a beat. “You called me stupid this morning, after I took care of you last night. And you don’t even feel sorry. And I had a right to be angry, I have a right to be pissed at you!”

He sighed and closed his eyes, unable to look at you like that anymore. He started picking out the pieces of glass one by one, listening to the soft sobs that escaped you, each one a blow to his chest he had never felt before.

“I don’t even know what I did, Yeol. I feel like I’m nothing to you anymore. That’s how I feel.”

He wanted you to shut up. To stop saying such useless, unimaginable things.

“And you’re seeing another girl! I can’t believe you were smiling with her; you never smile at me anymore!” You couldn’t stop now, ready to get everything you wanted out on the table.

He was wrapping your foot with gauze, annoyance reaching a boiling point as you flailed your arms around dramatically, pointing at him and yelling.

“If you want to leave me, then you should just do it. Okay? But don’t embarrass me by sneaking around with another girl. I’ll be fine, I am a strong woman, I don’t nee-“

Chanyeol cut you off, hands wrapped under your knees and pulling you to the edge of the counter, his lips against yours shutting you up effectively. It was so unexpected, the words he stole from you as if they were his own, claiming every bit of oxygen in your lungs with is tongue against yours, his hands on your thighs, skin against skin. You missed his touch more than anything. Your arms wrapped around his neck, letting him take every piece of you he wanted, teeth skimming against your lower lip, his cinnamon breath taking over all of your senses. You wanted to drown in him, all those tears swirling down the drain now nonexistent, the will to fight for him renewing inside of you.

You whimpered into the kiss and he smiled, wrapping your legs around his waist, and pulling you up off the counter. His lips never left yours as he moved back towards the bedroom, a constant you weren’t sure you could lose again, but you pulled away, looking back.

“Watch out for the-”

“Glass.” He breathed out, catching your lips again as he stepped over the pile in front of the door.

Every bit of you wanted him, mind finally silent from worry, heart content as he laid you back on the bed and climbed on top of you. He pulled his shirt off and kissed your neck, that space below your ear that he knew was so sensitive for you. The peppered kisses he trailed from your neck to your lips brought you home, for the first time in so long. Chanyeol was Sunday mornings again, his hands sliding up your shirt, your body melting with his like you were made for him. You bled for him, cried for him, the oxygen that carried through your veins was only his.

He pulled away for the first time in what felt like hours, eyes meeting yours with so much passion that you wanted to fall into him. You wanted to fall into his arms and let him hold you forever, this boy who had every piece of your soul.

“I love you.” You whispered.

Tears filled your eyes and he swallowed hard, eyes frenzied and confused.

“I need you.”

His words were whispered and rushed and not what you were expecting, but you gave him everything. You gave him every piece of the already fractured glass heart that you had left and let him build a castle for himself, a kingdom you weren’t sure he was ready to let you in. Let him ruin you from head to toe, mold you like you imagined Alexandros of Antioch molded the Venus de Milo, in the image he wanted, everything he needed. You wanted to be his everything again. You had to be.

The next morning, you woke up with your naked legs tangled with Chanyeol’s, his arm draped over your waist, head nuzzled into your hair. You felt so complete again, unlike the hollow shell you usually felt like, one who held the place of his wife. You felt wanted. You felt remade.

Time ticked by too quickly, the fear of him leaving for work nearly suffocating. So, you listened to him breathe. Distracted yourself with the soft snores that flowed from him like your favorite melody. Drowned out your never ceasing thoughts with the smell of his shampoo so close. You memorized the way his fingers felt against your skin, both soft and rough at the same time, so hard working and full of love.

The sound of his phone buzzing broke everything. You pretended to sleep when Chanyeol got up, turning back to grab his phone from the nightstand. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but birds chirped outside of the window. You wondered what it would be like to be one of them. He sat up on the side of the bed and answered the call.

You listened to him talk, listened to him whisper words of apology to someone that you didn’t know. Listened to him lie about where he was and wondered why he should have to lie. You were his wife. He should be lying to you, not the other woman.

“Mina, it’s nothing, really. I’m in the car, I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Wait for me.”

Every piece of life was sucked out of you at the sound of her name.

Mina.

A name to the face who was stealing your husband. A name to the face of the woman who made him smile.

‘Wait for me.’

‘Did he ever smile at you like that?’

He sighed and stayed still for a few moments. You felt him look back towards you once. Twice.

‘Please don’t go’, ‘Please don’t go’, ‘Please don’t go’

Your eyes filled with tears, begging him to hear your heart, begging him to pull you back into his chest and not get out of the bed.

When he moved to push himself up, you rolled over and grabbed his hand.

His eyes down on you, so empty. How had things gotten here?

“Please don’t go.” You whispered.

His eyebrows scrunched together and he sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand.

“I’ll be back tonight.” He mumbled, and it felt like a shot to the heart. “I promise.”

You didn’t let go of his wrist. “Please.” Couldn’t let go. It felt like the end, and it was too real. It was all too real.

He looked at you and sighed, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I promise.”

He muttered the words one more time before pulling his hand from yours and getting dressed.

It felt like you were watching a movie. A life flashing before you that you didn’t know. A man you had never seen. He walked out without a goodbye and you didn’t break. Tempered glass doesn’t do that. It shatters in spiderwebs, no ragged edges to fall apart, just broken pieces locked together that can’t be put back together again. A damaged piece of hardware no one could fix, not even Chanyeol.

The birds outside were chirping and again, you wondered what it must be like to fly away.

Chanyeol came home that night to the house dark. Every piece of you was missing; your clothes, your notebooks, the stupid clock you bought the year before that was in the shape of a cat that he hated more than anything.

He tried calling you over and over, but you never answered. Your sister refused to tell him anything - “I told you to stop making her cry.”

Your ring sat on his pillow; a note written beneath it that he couldn’t find the courage to read.

“I love you.” You whispered to him at some grocery store years before. He laughed and looked around.

“Why now?” He questioned and you rolled your eyes, shoulders shrugging.

“Not just now. Forever.”

The smile on your face, something he loved more than anything. He knew right then that he would die for you.

“Forever.” He repeated.

The house was empty, no longer a home since you were gone. Cold. Dark. Hell.

You were gone.

A/N: Guys!!!! My third fic!!! Let a girl know what ya think, I’m honestly really proud of this one and really really hope I can hear from you all about it ~~ SO SO SO much love, any feedback is appreciated!!!

P.S. i’ve got a part 2 kickin for this one :):):):):):)

#exo angst #exo fanfic #exo imagine #chanyeol angst #chanyeol fic #chanyeol imagine #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol fanfiction #exo fanfiction #park chanyeol fic #park chanyeol angst #kpop #kpop angst #park chanyeol rec #chanyeol fic rec #park chanyeol imagine #kpop imagine #exo imagines

251 notes · View notes

biaswreckingfics · 3 years

Text

A Safe Place

Pairing: Chanyeol x Fem Reader (2 references)

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 11.9k

Warnings: Major Character Death, violence

Summary: You and your sister are trying your best to survive, but you can only go on for so long without food, water, and shelter. When three strangers show up, and help you battle a herd of zombies, you have to decide if you trust them enough to follow them to their camp or if you’d rather continue trying to make it on your own.

~ A part of The Undead: An EXO OT12 Collab hosted by myself ~

“Did you check all of the cupboards?”

A sigh rips through your sister as she turns toward you. “This is only our thousandth time doing this. I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on it by now.”

You lean your head back and look up at the dilapidated ceiling above you. You know her sassy response isn’t because of you or your question but because of the entire situation at hand.

“I wasn’t questioning your ability. I was only hoping you had found something.”

She slowly meets your eyes as you look back over at her, and you can tell by the dejected look on her face that she has come up empty. While this doesn’t come as a surprise to you, it’s certainly disheartening.

Whenever you went out and scouted for food and supplies lately, you came up empty-handed because every house, building, and campsite has been picked over dozens of times by now. It scared you. Almost more than the zombies did.

You can at least fend the zombies off, but there is only so long you can go without food or clean water… You fear for your and your sister’s future. What little there is of it, anyway.

You turn back to the storage closet you were checking with a sigh of your own. Nothing. Well, nothing of use anyway. All that is left behind is useless stuff that we all swore we needed once in our lives. The things that were rapidly discarded once everyone realized they no longer fit into the future that had been made for you.

The necessities (food, towels, clothes, bandages) are long gone, some other unlucky soul swiping them, hoping it’ll give them a better chance for survival.

“Looks like this place is another bust.”

“This is like the 25th house that we’ve checked and come out empty-handed.” She turns to face you. “We’re already on our last couple of protein bars and nearly completely out of water. What are we gonna do if we can’t find anything?”

Her voice gradually rises out of panic. While you completely understand and want to panic yourself, neither of you can lose your heads. You have to be aware and alert 24 hours a day. You can no longer afford to panic.

“Hey. We’ll figure something out, okay? We always do.”

When she doesn’t meet your stare, you abandon the closet and move to stand in front of her. The dirt smudged on her cheeks momentarily reminds you of when she was little, back when you led normal lives.

You wipe at the smudge on her face with your sleeve before pulling her in for a tight hug. The two of you hate hugging now because you can feel the differences in your bodies. You can feel the bones under each other’s skin, any layers of fat long gone. There’s less for either of you to hold, but sometimes you really need the physical comfort of another person.

She wraps her arms tightly around you and leans her head on your shoulder. “I guess starving to death would be better than being bit or turned.”

You whack her lightly on the back for thinking like that, and yet you don’t disagree. The thought of being bitten terrified you more than anything, but you aren’t going to share that with her. You have to be strong for her. Not only are you older than her, you’re also all she has left.

Your sister begins saying something, but your ears pick up on another sound, and you swiftly tap her back twice. She immediately falls silent at the gesture, knowing what it means. It’s a code the two of you made for when you know you aren’t alone.

The rustling reaches your ears again, and you slowly turn your body towards the living room where the door and windows are. Something is outside of the house, moving around.

You slowly creep toward the broken windows, chanting over and over in your head for the floorboards not to squeak. From the little bit you can see outside, there’s nothing that immediately catches your eye, but you know your ears haven’t deceived you. Before you can get all the way over to the windows to check, the floorboards on the front porch creak.

You and your sister immediately drop down and scurry for suitable hiding positions. If it’s a zombie, odds are high that it will eventually go away on its own. If it’s human… then you and your sister are in big trouble.

You crawl to the corner of the living room behind a side table. It isn’t the best cover, but the house is too small to have any real hiding spots. You still have a good enough view of your sister as she ducks down next to the counter, and that’s all that matters to you.

Now comes the waiting game. You hope it’s one of the undead and that it will wander away like they usually end up doing. You aren’t mentally or physically prepared to put up a fight with another human…

You look over at your sister to see her drumming her fingers on her knees and carefully peeking over her shoulder. You hope some adrenaline kicks into your system soon, but you fear your body is too used to the fight or flight instinct it is constantly in.

You’ve lost count of how long life has been this way. It’s easily been a year since this all started… maybe even two. You had forgotten how the world used to be at this point, and maybe that’s for the best. You can’t miss something you couldn’t remember.

These days the world seems empty of life. There are very few survivors left and even fewer resources for you to fight over. Most animals have been killed off. All that’s left to admire are the changing trees and the vast blue sky above them. Not that you can find joy in either of them now with the current state of things.

When you and your sister moved to Korea for a few years, you thought your biggest worry would be offending someone with your words or actions. You no longer cared about social etiquette and customs, however. In this new world, no one did.

Everything was normal and fine… until one day, it wasn’t. The outbreak spread like wildfire, and there was never any real possibility of containing it.

Militaries and governments across the world attempted to gain control of the outbreak. Some were even able to succeed for a short period of time, but one way or another, they all eventually fell.

You are still in shock and disbelief that you both were able to make it this far… Of course, you had help along the way – people you grew to trust and who helped you like you were their own, but they ultimately fell too, either being lost to the zombies or lost to the humans.

You blink out of the daze you fell into and check on your sister again. You would do anything to protect her. Hell, the things you’ve already done to keep her safe would’ve made the old you cry in fear. You didn’t regret any of it, though; you would do the same exact thing in a heartbeat. Even if that meant killing again.

The knob on the front door rattles and you hold your breath. You carefully turn your body, maintaining your hiding position but giving you a better vantage point of the door. When the knob twists and you hear the seal of the door breach, you mentally start saying every swear word you know. Zombies don’t know how to open doors which could only mean one thing.

Humans.

You burrow further back into the wall out of reflex like it’ll actually protect you and watch as the door slowly opens, letting in a stream of sunlight with it. Nobody enters the home right away, which is smart, because you never know what to expect when you walk into a building, but it spikes your anxiety that much higher.

You duck your head down as you see a silhouette grow on the floorboards and eventually hear the creak of someone entering the room with you. Your mind races to try and figure out an escape plan for you and your sister, but you see no way out of this. Your hiding spots are so horrific, a kindergartner could find you.

More footsteps follow the first pair, confirming that there are at least two people here. Your heart stutters. You carefully raise your head to peek over the table without giving your position away.

You see the back of a tall man with black hair that’s somehow combed back. He cautiously surveys the room, and when he turns in your direction, you have to stop yourself from jerking back. His facial structure startles you. You’re surprised to see someone still look this attractive in the new world you live in. His cold, blank eyes turn to look at his friend, and you follow his gaze.

The other man is on the shorter side. His cat-shaped eyes make his delicate features seem sharper than they are but make him no less attractive. He is equally cautious as he slowly takes in the room and everything around him.

Who the hell are these guys? Why are they so clean and well-kept? Even their clothes seem fresh and new.

“I’ll take the back half; you look up here.”

You tense your muscles as the taller one begins walking toward the back, right beside your sister. At first, you think he’s gonna pass by her, but something has him freezing. You watch in horror as he slowly turns his head toward the kitchen and glances down.

He immediately pulls a gun out of his waistband and aims it at your sister with a shout. Your sister jumps up from her crouched position and throws her hands up in surrender while his friend runs to his side, his own weapon in hand.

“Who are you?” the friend asks tightly.

Your sister looks at them with wide, blinking eyes but smartly doesn’t glance your way. You carefully creep out of your hiding position while she stutters out words to keep their attention on her. You move softly, something only months of practice in life or death situations can teach you and make your way toward them.

Feeling around your back for your own gun, you cautiously untuck it from your pants and raise it toward the two men. It takes a few seconds, but you eventually get behind them all while raising your weapon to the back of the tall man’s head - the one who first pulled his gun on your sister.

You cock back the safety, making a well-known sound travel through the room. “I suggest you lower your gun before I splatter your brain all over these walls.”

The man in front of you freezes while his shorter friend turns and aims his weapon at you, giving your sister a chance to pull out her own gun.

“Put your gun down,” the short one demands.

“Why don’t you put yours down first?” your sister asks while aiming her gun at him.

The four of you all carefully take in the situation around you. For all intents and purposes, you are in a stalemate; each of you has a different gun pointing at you. Someone will have to make the first move. You just don’t know if it will be the lowering of their weapon or the pulling of the trigger.

“Let’s just talk about this calmly.” The tall one tries to persuade, his voice even.

You snort out a laugh. “If you wanted to talk calmly, you wouldn’t have drawn your gun first.”

“How am I supposed to know what kind of people you are? I have to protect myself.”

“Ditto,” your sister says with a raised brow.

You warily eye the one with his gun pointed at you. His narrow eyes never leave you for a second, and you know he won’t hesitate to pull the trigger.

You maintain your position, but when you hear a noise come from outside on the porch, your eyes widen fractionally. You quickly study the short one’s face. Neither man acknowledges the noise outside, and that's when the dread sets in - they have backup.

At that moment, a third man steps into the room. You side-eye him the best you can while also watching their short friend and immediately notice him pause as he takes in the scene in front of him.

“Um… well, this is an interesting development. Why don’t we all just take a collective breath for a moment and lower our weapons?”

“No way in hell,” your sister spits. “There’s three of you. We’re at a disadvantage.”

The newcomer slowly raises his hands in the air in a gesture you’re sure is meant to calm the two of you down. It doesn’t work.

“We don’t mean you any harm. We’re looking for supplies just like I’m sure you two are.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you try to run different scenarios through your head. There is no way the two of you are going to be able to overpower these three men. The third one that entered the room appears to be as tall as your hostage, and you can already tell that he is more muscular than the lean man in front of you.

It might be in your best interest to play along until you and your sister have a better chance of getting out of this, but you certainly aren’t about to trust these strangers.

“You don’t mean us any harm, yet your friend here immediately pulled a gun. I guess you live by the rule ‘shoot first, ask questions later’?”

“Considering I haven’t shot anyone yet, clearly, you’re wrong,” your hostage sasses you. “Besides, you’re gonna act like you’re any different? That you wouldn’t hold a gun to my head if the roles were reversed?”

He’s absolutely right. If the roles were reversed, odds are high you’d do the same exact thing. Not that you’re going to tell him that.

“You two lower your weapons,” the newcomer says, causing the shorter one to say his name in warning.

The third man, Chanyeol, sighs. “We both know you’re not going to shoot them, and you all look like idiots right now. Why don’t we all save our bullets for things that actually need killing?”

Nobody moves at first. Everyone is waiting to see if the others will follow Chanyeol’s orders. Eventually, the tall one lowers his weapon until it’s pointing at the floor rather than your sister.

You know his friend isn’t lowering his weapon until one of you do, so you take a deep breath and slowly drop your arms, sliding the safety back in place as you do. The man in front of you lets out the breath he has been holding and places his gun back in his waistband.

The short one glances between you and your sister before relaxing his stance and stops pointing his weapon at you, and your sister quickly follows suit. The room remains silent and awkward until Chanyeol claps his hands together.

“Alright. Now that we have that mess over with, why don’t we all introduce ourselves?”

“Nice try.” You snort before facing him.

Once you truly look at him, your breath stutters for a moment, and you have to tell yourself to get a grip. His almond-shaped eyes watch you curiously as you take in his appearance. You were right about his tall, muscular frame, but what surprises you most is his dark gray hair. It’s been so long since you’ve been around someone with a different shade of hair than brown or black.

“Well, my name is Chanyeol,” he says while looking pointedly at the short one who already told you his name on accident. The man returns his stare with a glare, perhaps knowing what he’s about to do next. “His name is Minseok, and the one you had your gun pointed at is Sehun.”

You find yourself momentarily distracted as you listen to Chanyeol’s deep voice. It has a beautiful cadence to it that takes you by surprise. You suddenly swallow as you realize your throat has gone dry and pull your eyes away from him to look at his two friends, whom you finally notice are just as attractive.

Get it together, you mentally shake yourself. It’s just been a while since you’ve seen good-looking people. That’s all.

Focusing back on Sehun and Minseok, you see them both watching you and your sister warily. They are as cautious as you. If you have to guess, you’d say they’ve also been burned in the past.

You meet your sister’s stare, and the two of you silently discuss what you should do. Her eyes drift over to Sehun a few times, and you realize that she’s caught in the same web as you. Great. There goes both of your heads.

You turn back to Chanyeol and meet his gaze. You debate for a couple of seconds about what to do before sighing.

“Y/N”, you say before gesturing to your sister, “and that’s Shay.”

You leave it at that. There is no way you’re going to tell them you are siblings. You’ve made that mistake once before, and you quickly learned your lesson when it was used against you. You’ll never allow that to happen again.

“We should go,” Minseok says, looking down at your empty hands. “Clearly, there’s nothing here.”

He turns without waiting and heads to the door. Sehun watches him for a moment before eventually following without a word. Your eyes follow his back before drifting to Chanyeol. He looks at you and your sister for a few seconds before dejectedly nodding his head and following his friends out the door.

You immediately move to stand by your sister and check her over for injuries despite knowing she’s okay. Before you can say anything to her you hear cursing coming from outside. You and your sister exchange a worried glance before running for the front door to see what made them yell.

“It’s a herd!” Chanyeol’s deep voice shouts.

You both freeze at his words, and a sick feeling begins taking hold of you. Your sister runs to look through the other windows throughout the house while you stand stock still on the front door’s threshold. You look out at the three men as they prepare themselves for battle. Evidently, they don’t see any other option.

You glance around the open field the house sits within and begin trying to mentally count the number of zombies that have suddenly shown up. You lose track as their sights set on the three men scattered on the lawn, and they begin making their way toward them.

When Shay runs back to you, her eyes are wide, and you see pure terror on her face. It’s a look you’ve unfortunately grown used to.

“They’re surrounding the house. We have to get out of here now, or we’ll be trapped for who knows how long.”

“Damn it,” you growl in frustration.

You look back out into the yard to see the three guys already fighting zombies. You note with surprise that none of them have pulled out their guns yet but are instead using knives they must’ve had sheathed on their bodies. Though knife might be an understatement for the blade Minseok yields. It’s more akin to a sword. He must’ve left it on the porch when he came in here because you most certainly did not see it on him earlier.

“What do we do?” your sister asks you. “If we stay, we’re screwed… Do we go help them?”

You bite your lip as you watch the chaos unfold before you. You need to get out there and help them fight. You don’t really have another option.

“Let’s go.” You take a step out the door, but your sister stops you with a determined “Wait”.

You turn, watching as she runs back toward the back of the house. You whisper-shout her name. Whatever she’s doing, you don’t have time for it. You have to get out there and help them before they become overwhelmed.

Precious moments pass before she comes back down the hallway with a grin on her face. In her hands are a set of melee weapons. She carries a splitting axe in one and a pickaxe in the other. She holds out her hands for you to choose and you meet her stare with wide eyes.

“Where the hell did you get these?”

“I saw them when I was searching the back of the house,” she tells you, handing you the pickaxe when you take too long to choose.

You hear Sehun yell Chanyeol’s name, and that snaps you out of your stupor. With a final glance at one another, you both run out of the house at full force, aiming for the first zombies in your path. You wield your pickaxe right into the head of the closest zombie.

In the beginning, when you had first started fighting, you used to notice them. Their clothes, age, gender - small details that gave them some humanity and individuality. Over time, however, you quit doing that. There are just too many faces now lost to the world to keep track of. Now you saw them all as one thing: the enemy, a harbinger of your death.

It doesn’t matter what they look like or who they might have been. It doesn’t matter if the zombie in front of you used to be someone’s grandmother or was someone’s kid brother. They all needed to die for you to survive.

You yank the axe out of the zombie’s head with more force than you thought you’d need and quickly turn to see another barreling toward you. You attempt to tune out the snarls emanating from them, but the sound reverberates inside your brain.

After axing the second zombie, you risk a hasty glance around the battlefield and spot trouble. Chanyeol is losing his battle against four of them not too far away from you. Dislodging the pointed head of the pickaxe from the zombie’s fractured skull with a grunt, you make your way over to him while dodging a zombie lurching toward your arm with its rotting fingers. You can come back for that one.

You run up on the one going toward Chanyeol’s back and swiftly take care of it. Chanyeol takes out a second one while you aim your sights on the third. The two of you take care of the last of the immediate threats, and he turns to you with a grin.

“Decided to come out and play?”

“Someone needed to save your ass,” you reply, already searching for your next target.

“Alright, Warrior Princess. Let’s go kick some ass then.”

You and Chanyeol work your way through zombies like a tag team, but it starts to feel like there’s no end in sight. There’s also an ache building in your muscles and your arms are sore. It’s becoming more of a struggle to lift the axe with each strike. Chanyeol throws worried glances your way as he notices you slowing down and stays by your side to help you.

“Switch me,” he says while shoving his knife into your free hand. You quickly give him your axe, so he’s not left defenseless. The knife is much lighter, so much so that you feel immediate relief. It glides through the air as you test it, acclimating to its smaller size.

You attempt to keep tabs on Shay and are grateful that every time you spot her, she’s with either Sehun or Minseok. Working your way toward the trio, you soon see that they’re as exhausted as you are.

“We can’t keep fighting them! There’s too many!” Minseok shouts over to you two.

“Any ideas?” Chanyeol yells back.

Your sister pulls her axe out of the zombie next to her and yells, “We have to make our way to the outskirts and attempt to make a run for it!”

You and Shay manage to share a look before the five of you begin to make your way towards the edge of the herd. You need a better plan as soon as possible because the current one is like putting tape over a leak.

“This isn’t gonna work! There’s too many of them!” Sehun yells in frustration.

“It has to!” Minseok argues. “We don’t really have another choice!”

You swing your arm and fight like hell for what feels like hours. In reality, it’s no more than ten minutes. You feel your arm cramping up and try to fight the wave of panic that threatens to overcome you. You are just about out of steam.

“I can’t do this much longer!” you breathlessly shout.

“Make a run for it!”

You look up ahead to see only five zombies between you and the tree line. They’d be pretty easy to dodge, but could you leave everyone behind?

“Go! We’re right behind you!” Chanyeol yells as he swings the axe into another zombie.

Upon hearing his words, you break out into a sprint and push yourself, ignoring the pain in your chest. You dodge the zombies ahead of you and run into the tree line but quickly come to a stop behind a tree. Peeking around it to check on the others.

Minseok breaks free and runs right for you, only skidding to a stop when he notices you’re still there. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m not leaving my sister behind.”

He pauses and looks at you carefully. “You’re sisters?”

You hum in acknowledgment and leave it at that. You put all of your focus back on what’s happening until Minseok says, “I’m not leaving them behind either, but we’re sitting ducks this close.”

Chanyeol breaks free next before running toward you. You turn to look at Minseok. “What are we supposed to do? Run further into the – “

A scream interrupts you, and you immediately whip your head back to the scene. Your heart instantly slides into your throat because you know that voice like the back of your hand.

“Shay!”

You start to run back out there, but Minseok pulls you against his chest and keeps you still. You fight against him with every bit of strength you have left, but he’s stronger than he looks.

Chanyeol immediately stops running and turns back to go help. That’s when you see her. Shay is laying on the ground, and a zombie is almost on top of her. Its teeth gnash and gnaw as it tries to bite her. Her axe has fallen too far away for her to reach so instead she kicks at its arms and chest, desperate to keep it from infecting her. Her scream, however, only serves to draw more to her.

Sehun comes up behind the one on top of her and knocks it off. He takes his long knife and stabs it in the chest while Chanyeol grabs Shay off the ground and pulls her with him. You try to see if she’s been bitten or scratched, but you can’t get a good look while they run.

You and Minseok glance past them to look at Sehun just in time to see him brought down to the ground by two more zombies. Without thinking, you both book it towards him, causing Chanyeol and Shay to stop running and turn. You hear Chanyeol let out a string of cuss words as he takes off with you, but you begin to slow down as you see what’s happening in front of you.

One of the zombies bites Sehun on the arm while he attempts to fight off the other one.

Sehun lets out his own scream while Chanyeol shouts his name. The two boys keep running toward their friend to help, but whatever calm-headed thoughts Sehun has left, he uses them.

“Stop! Go! Get out of here!”

“We’re not leaving you!” Minseok yells at him, tears clear in his voice.

The two men reach Sehun and quickly take out the zombies on him before fighting the ones closest to them. Shay is only halfway between you and the trees, but you can hear her moving closer to you. To Sehun.

“We have to go help! This is my fault,” she tells you as she tries to get past you.

You hurriedly grab her arm to keep her back with you. “Shay, no!”

“He got bit saving me! I have to help!” she screams at you, yanking her arm out of your grip.

Her shout brings the boys’ attention to you, and Sehun yells out another “no!”.

“All of you need to run! It’s too late for me! I’ve already been bitten! I can be the bait and distract them while you guys get away!”

He shouts it with conviction; however, you can see the fear in his eyes no matter the distance between you two. You hear Minseok and Chanyeol arguing with him, but he pushes them away.

“Let me do this!” he yells at them with tears now streaming down his face. “Let me help you the only way I can now!”

You can see that Chanyeol and Minseok want to argue with him more, but they know he’s right. He’s been bitten. There is no way to save him now.

They reluctantly start backing away. Sehun gives them one last look before saying something to them. He’s too far away for you to hear what it is, but you can only assume he is saying goodbye.

After that, he turns and runs back into the mob of zombies and finally pulls out his gun. He starts shooting at random zombies, and the noise starts pulling the rest of the herd’s attention towards him, giving you guys a chance to get away.

You grab Shay by the arm again and pull her back toward the woods. She no longer puts up a fight, but she does keep glancing back to check on Sehun. You keep the two of you steady and look back to check on Minseok and Chanyeol. They’re walking backwards to the woods and watching Sehun for as long as they can.

You break through the tree line and quickly turn to wait for Chanyeol and Minseok. You check over your sister for any wounds while you stand there and are relieved when you find none. As the two men approach you, you see the shocked expressions on their faces. It slowly morphs into a deep numbness, sinking into their features. It’s a numbness you are all too familiar with by this point.

The four of you continue to travel into the woods as a unit. You’re eager to put more distance between you and the zombies. Not only the herd but the few that followed you in. You all remain silent, lost in your own thoughts. The only sound that accompanies you is the breaking of twigs and the crunching of leaves with each step you all take.

You wonder how far you should go. How long should you travel with these men who are, for all intents and purposes, strangers?

You look over at Shay and notice the slump of her shoulders. The way her eyes barely look at anything but the ground tells you everything you need to know.

She feels guilty. She feels responsible for what happened to Sehun. If she hadn’t fallen… If he hadn’t helped her… He would still be here. Shay is experiencing the beginning stages of survivor’s guilt. There is no way you can separate from the men - Shay doesn’t have the capacity to protect herself or watch your back right now.

You glance back at the two men behind you to see if they’re doing any better. Minseok is staring off into space like he is either in shock or shut off his emotions. Chanyeol has tears in his eyes and fresh tear tracks on his face. He doesn’t care if anyone sees, and it makes you guess that he is the type to wear his heart on his sleeve.

The four of you eventually dwindle to a stop. Due in equal parts to exhaustion and being lost. You, at least, have no clue where the heck you are. You and Shay are relatively new to this area.

Minseok sits atop a fallen tree while Chanyeol drops to the ground beside him, leaning. Shay turns her back to the pair and hurriedly swipes at her eyes, hiding the fact that she is upset from the two who just lost someone.

You slowly crouch on the ground before quickly giving in and plopping down. Your legs are tired. You are tired, and you have no idea where you and Shay are sleeping for the night. The two of you had failed to discuss your plans before all hell broke loose.

“I’m sorry about Sehun…” you carefully say as you look at the two men.

Minseok avoids your gaze while Chanyeol just nods and picks up some leaves on the ground next to him to examine.

“I’m sorry too…” Shay quietly sniffles, pulling Chanyeol’s attention to her for a moment.

You catch Shay’s eyes when she turns to you, and you tilt your head to the side. It was time for the two of you to leave, not only to give them privacy to grieve over their lost friend but to find somewhere to sleep for the night before it got dark.

“Well… We’re gonna… take off. Find somewhere safe to make camp for the night.”

This catches both men’s attention. Chanyeol scrambles up to his feet, quickly standing at his full height. Your eyes trail up to his, and you silently wonder if he has been this tall the entire time.

“We have a camp.”

“Chanyeol,” Minseok says in a low voice, but Chanyeol ignores him.

“You should come back with us. We have food and shelter, and there are other survivors. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

Minseok stands up from the tree and moves to Chanyeol’s side. “Chanyeol, we don’t know them. No offense.” He throws back at you. You shake your head because you aren’t offended. He’s absolutely right. “We can’t trust them with the lives of everyone else.”

“Especially after Sehun, right?” Shay carefully asks him.

Minseok looks at her with sad eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t blame you for what happened to him. Sehun is - was smart. He knew the risks.”

Shay’s eyes fall to the ground as she nods, but you know she doesn’t believe it.

“What I meant is that we could be walking a trap right into our home. To people we care about.”

“You could also be walking us into a trap,” you tell him with raised brows.

“You guys might even eat people. We don’t know,” Shay adds.

Chanyeol’s brows furrow as he mumbles “eat people” questionably to himself. Minseok carefully studies you and your sister before lifting his steady hand for you to see.

“People who eat human meat shake. As you can see, neither of us is doing that.”

After a moment, Chanyeol pulls himself out of his surprise. “Besides, we owe you our lives.”

“No, you don’t.” You immediately disagree while your sister jerks her head back in confusion.

“Do you not remember what just happened?”

Chanyeol sighs. “Yes, I remember someone who was like my little brother dying, but if the two of you hadn’t come out of the house to help us, odds are high more than one of us would be dead right now.”

You slowly look over at Shay to gauge her reaction, and she meets your eyes. The two of you can’t keep going on the way you are. You’re both exhausted and starving, and you need help, but would it be wise to go with the people who just lost someone they care about because he was trying to save one of you?

She imperceptibly nods her head, and you both turn to look at the men, who are watching you curiously.

“Is this some kind of a sister thing?” Minseok asks while motioning between you two. “The silent communication?”

“Wait, you’re sisters?” Chanyeol asks in surprise.

“We are…” you admit before giving them an answer, “and we’ll go with you.”

A smile grows on Chanyeol’s face as he looks at you, and you immediately scold yourself the second you feel your heart flutter. He’s just happy that you’re coming with them… for some reason.

“That’s awesome! I guess we’ll head there then,” he says as he looks up and around for a hint of what direction you need to head in.

Minseok points in the opposite direction of where Chanyeol is looking. “West.”

“I knew that,” he says before turning and heading in that direction. “How did you know they were sisters?”

Chanyeol and Minseok begin taking off in that direction without waiting, and you turn and look at your sister. Were you making the right decision? Did you just possibly sign your death warrant? Shay shrugs her shoulders and follows after the two boys. You let out a sigh before joining her.

The walk is silent and uneventful for a while. Each of you slowly switching positions and striking up small conversations here and there. You enjoy the peace… but you also enjoy the companionship. It’s been so long since you’ve had idle chit-chat with someone besides your sister.

Chanyeol keeps talking about the most random things beside you, and you wonder if this is how he is or if he’s trying to forget that they’re short one companion.

“Can I ask you a question?”

You laugh before you can stop yourself. “You’ve already asked me like 30.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says with a sheepish expression, “but this one is… different.”

Your curiosity gets the better of you, and you look over at him. “Okay. Shoot.”

“Where were you when this all started?”

You blink a couple of times as your mind immediately takes you back to that horrific place.

You’re sitting on the couch in the living room when a rumbling noise draws your attention to the balcony. Curiously, you get up and slide the glass door open to investigate. Panicked cries and screams fill the air and touch your ears, causing you to furrow your brows and look down at the street.

You aren’t the only one drawn by the sound, noticing other neighbors peeking out with just as much confusion as you. Vehicles speed down the road, not even attempting to care about the pedestrians in the way, and there were definitely pedestrians in the way.

People are running in every direction. Either glancing behind them or desperately darting in front of traffic without care. Your mouth parts in shock as you take in the chaos. You look around to try to figure out what on earth could be happening that would cause this, and that’s when you see them.

People, covered in blood, with a crazed look in their eyes. Their ripped and tattered clothes hang from their bodies as they chase after other people. The sounds they make as they begin to roam the streets causes a chill to creep down your back.

You watch in horror as you see a couple of these… things… jump on the backs of people attempting to run away, pulling them to the ground. Their teeth and hands rip into them as they scream in pain, and you feel bile rise in your throat.

You try to process what’s happening right in front of you, but overwhelming fear takes over. Zombies. Those were zombies ripping into people out there. There was no other description for them.

“Shay!” you yell for your sister, who is in her bedroom.

You run to the closet and pull out a backpack you had bought for a hiking trip and begin grabbing whatever you think is necessary. Bandages, food, bottled water, anything.

Your sister finally wanders out of her room and sees you crazily shoving things into the bag. Before she can ask what you’re doing, the same noise that drew you to the door draws her. You hear her gasp, followed by the sound of glass shattering, and that was the moment your life came to a screeching halt.

“Y/N?”

You pull yourself out of your thoughts and share your memories with Chanyeol. He quietly nods along as you speak and tell him your story. You notice Shay falls silent as she and Minseok listen in on your conversation, and she relives that day with you. You wonder what’s on her mind as she thinks about it. The two of you had never discussed what happened that day.

“What about you?” you ask Chanyeol. You see a shudder run through him as he recalls that day.

“We were at a fansign event.”

You scrunch your face at the unfamiliar phrase. “A what?”

He sighs. “We were a kpop group… Have you ever heard of EXO?”

“Wait!” your sister gasps. “I remember seeing posters for EXO when we came here! You guys were like… famous. Really famous.”

You raise your brows in surprise. Music was never something you paid serious attention to. You listened to it on the radio from time to time, but it wasn’t something you dedicated your life to. Now, though, you would do anything to be able to listen to a simple song again.

“Yeah, we were pretty… well known,” Chanyeol says with a small smile on his face.

You glance back at Minseok, who immediately looks away and refuses to meet your eyes. “Both of you were in it? Did you, like, dance and sing?”

“I was the rapper, but – “

“You rap?” your sister excitedly asks, as it was her favorite genre to listen to.

Chanyeol flashes her a quick smile before his eyes trail over to Minseok. “Yeah, and to answer your question, both of us were in the group.”

“Sehun was too…” Minseok mumbles.

You fall silent as you think about the three of them dancing together as a group. A smile quickly works its way onto your face. “Well, damn. I wish I had listened to music back then.”

Your words remind Chanyeol of the question you had asked him, and the mood grows somber once again.

“Well, a fansign is basically a small event where fans can come meet you. This one was held outside, so when the zombies came, there was no cover… They just started ripping through the crowd. Through our fans that were there for us…” he clears his throat, clearly feeling a bit choked up. “Anyway, our managers got us out of there pretty quickly. All of the members got out safely… but over time, some of them died.”

“How many of there were you?”

He takes a moment to answer. “Originally, there were twelve of us…”

“How many are left?” you gently ask.

“Five. Well… now there’s only four, I guess…”

You know his mind goes back to Sehun. Someone you imagine has been in his life for years. Someone he’s probably gone to hell and back with. You can’t even imagine how horrible it must’ve been to lose over half of your group. People who meant everything to you.

Before you can offer any words of comfort, movement ahead catches your attention, and you put your hand up to stop the group. Everyone pauses and looks to see what you’ve spotted.

Just up ahead are a couple of zombies aimlessly wandering around. They haven’t spotted you yet, but it was only a matter of time.

“Let’s go around,” Shay whispers.

“No,” Minseok immediately says, pulling out his sword. “I need this.”

The three of you hang back as Minseok walks toward the two zombies. From the corner of your eye, you see Chanyeol move a couple of steps forward in case Minseok needs help. You definitely don’t think he needs any, though. He swings the sword around like it weighs nothing. Chopping and stabbing into each zombie until they are no longer a threat.

You look away as he continues to stab into their long-gone bodies. His pain and anger at losing Sehun has finally found an outlet, and you figure it’s best to let him get it all out now.

After some time, Chanyeol calms Minseok down, and the four of you wordlessly continue on with your trek until about five minutes later when you stumble across an abandoned campsite.

The site has clearly been ravaged, and you can only assume that the two zombies Minseok took out had once been the owners. The four of you look around the site to see if there’s anything worth taking, kicking aside sleeping bags and strewn about clothes, but you come up empty-handed. It isn’t even a surprise to you anymore.

“What’s your camp like?” you suddenly ask.

“We’ve only been there for about six months, but it’s been running for over a year.”

“So, it’s not just you guys… Do you have a leader or something?” your sister asks.

Without a word, you all collectively give up on the campsite and continue walking through the woods. Chanyeol and Minseok begin to tell you about the place they call home.

“We do have someone who’s as close to a leader as we’ll get. He’s an older man who is very fair and a great person overall,” Minseok assures you. “He also has a council that advises him and helps him out. Our group leader, Junmyeon, is on the council.”

“Junmyeon is one of the reasons we’ve gotten as far as we have,” Chanyeol says before trailing off in thought. “Anyway, the security is strong there. There’s only ever been one breach, and that was at the beginning. They farm their own food, and everyone pitches in to help out. That’s actually why we’re out looking for supplies. It was our turn.”

“They’re a close-knit community,” Minseok tells you.

You and Shay share a glance. You’ve been welcomed into tight-knit communities before… it never ends well. Trust issues begin instantly, and you’re quickly outcasted. Fights and accusations occur, and it gets messier from there. You’re suddenly dreading going to their camp.

How will their people react to one of their members dying only to be replaced by the two of you? You highly doubt you are going to be accepted with open arms.

“You’re worried. It’s all over your face,” Chanyeol says, looking back at you. “Don’t be. They’ll welcome you just like they welcomed us.”

“I mean… we’re not famous, attractive pop stars, so I think our reception will be a little different.”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows shoot up, and a charming smile grows on his face, causing you to swallow. “Attractive, huh?”

“Is that the only thing you heard come out of my mouth?” you laugh.

“Yes,” Minseok answers, not giving Chanyeol a chance to speak.

Shay lets out a small laugh before it falls from her face. “Seriously, though… should we be worried?”

You carefully look over at Shay and try to get a read on her features. Why is she asking them that? Their loyalty is to their camp, not the two of you. They have no obligation to tell you anything negative about their own people.

Minseok suddenly stops walking and turns to face you, making you come up short just before you run into him. He studies your expression before asking, “Why did you help us?”

When you stare blankly at him, he clarifies, “At the house. Why did you come out and help us when you could’ve stayed hidden?”

You search his face for a moment before deciding to give him honesty. “We would’ve been stuck in that house for who knows how long. The herd had it completely surrounded, and we couldn’t risk them boxing us in there… but also… We’re not assholes. I don’t want any more people to die unnecessarily. We’ve lost enough.”

Minseok carefully watches your face while Chanyeol and Shay stand idly by. It takes a minute, but he eventually nods with a satisfied look on his face.

“That answer right there tells me that you’re going to be fine.”

He turns back around and continues to walk. You glance over at Shay and Chanyeol. The former raising her brows at you while the latter shoots you a smirk and turns to follow Minseok.

You walk for a while in silence. Assumingly, each of you lost in your own thoughts of either Sehun, the camp, the future, or the past. You stumble across a few zombies from time-to-time, and either go around them and avoid their detection or fight them when necessary.

It’s nice traveling with the two men. It’s refreshing to discuss topics you and your sister wouldn’t normally, and interesting to have someone other than Shay to talk to… You hadn’t realized how long it had truly been.

Chanyeol is nearly an open book, willing to share any and everything with you, much to Minseok’s dismay. Minseok, on the other hand, takes a while to open up to you two. You and Shay originally decided to keep to yourselves, but there is something about Chanyeol that pulls words from your mouth. He easily makes you want to talk, and that’s something you haven’t experienced since before all of this happened.

The sun quickly starts to set, but Chanyeol’s and Minseok’s calm auras help keep you relaxed, which honestly should send alarm bells ringing in your head. Instead, you allow the calmness to consume you for once. To let yourself finally fall into that peace that you nearly forgot existed.

“We’re almost there.” Chanyeol nods ahead as you come out of the woods.

You follow his line of sight and momentarily stop in your tracks. Ahead of you is a giant fence the likes that you’ve never seen before.

“How…?” is all you can get out.

“The people before us did it.” He shrugs his shoulders before grinning at you. “It’s impressive, right?”

You study the expansive fence in front of you. It’s impressive, alright. It spans what looks like half a mile? A mile? You’ve never been super great with distances. It is made of multiple materials. Everything from metal to wood to things you can’t even identify. It’s also super tall. Easily fifteen feet.

You start walking towards it, eyes glued to the fence in front of you in shock and awe. You can’t believe people were able to make this. Especially in a time where machines are no longer a thing, and zombies roam the earth. The dedication and time it would’ve taken is astounding.

You’re so caught up in the wonder of it that you forget to watch where you’re going and end up tripping over something on the ground. Luckily for you, Chanyeol notices and hurriedly reaches his arms out to catch and steady you.

You grab onto his arms tightly and allow him to bring you back up to your feet, feeling slightly embarrassed about the entire thing. It isn’t the zombies that’ll take you out. It’s your own feet.

“You okay?” he asks, the deep timbre of his voice flowing through you.

You look up into his concerned eyes and swallow at the sudden dry feeling you have in your throat. You hear a cough come from behind you and blink yourself out of the daze you had fallen into. You look down at his arms and notice that you still have them in a tight death grip, so you quickly let him go and back away, completely pushing the feeling of his muscles out of your mind.

“Ye-yeah.” You clear your throat. “Yes. Thank you… for helping me.”

He gives you a small smile before nodding and walking over to Minseok to discuss something. You look over at Shay, who stares at you with her brows raised and arms crossed. You roll your eyes and ignore her, turning back to face the fence.

A thought suddenly occurs to you, and you look back down at whatever it is you tripped over. The sight that greets you has your mouth falling open.

On the ground is a little makeshift gravesite. You step back to get a better look at what you’ve stumbled on and stifle a gasp of surprise. It wasn’t the only grave. No. There are a ton of stones, wooden crosses, and other markers indicating the resting places of people who’ve passed.

They made a cemetery for the people they’ve lost.

“What is this?”

Minseok walks up behind you. “It’s the people from this camp who’ve either passed away or were turned and later killed.”

You try to take in all the stones and attempt to do a headcount of how many people this place has lost since its inception. There have to be nearly 30 graves here.

From the corner of your eye, you see Chanyeol start wandering through the little maze of stones, and on a whim, you follow him. You’re curious to see where he is going.

He eventually comes to a stop at some newer markers, and you pause, finally realizing he’s going to the graves of his friends, his other group members.

He glances over at you for a moment before looking back down at them. You lick your dry lips and take a few more steps toward him until you’re directly next to him.

“Is this them?”

“Mhmm.” He slowly hums after a few seconds. “We’ll have to make a marker for Sehun now too…”

You hadn’t even realized Minseok and Shay had walked up next to you until you hear Minseok say, “One day, we’ll all be here.”

You glance over at him to see a thoughtful expression grace his face as he looks down at the graves. You follow his line of sight and begin to read the names carved in wood or painted on stone.

Baekhyun. Yixing. Kyungsoo. Jongdae. Luhan. Kris. Tao.

You rip your gaze away as your vision blurs. You’re beginning to feel like the names are never going to end… and now they have to add another… You shake your head and move back. Why is this affecting you so much? How have these two men gotten under your skin so quickly?

Chanyeol clears his throat and gradually looks up at the night sky. He keeps his head cocked back long enough that your eyes are drawn up there as well. As you stare at the scintillating lights, you realize it’s been entirely too long since you last enjoyed them. When had you stopped looking up at the night sky and its beauty?

“I think it’s time we go inside,” Minseok suggests.

Your head comes back down to earth, and you look at your sister. Her apprehensive eyes meet yours, and you see the same worries and fears that you have reflected in them.

You feel a light touch on your arm and turn your head to the side to see Chanyeol watching you. He cocks his head toward the camp, and you look to see that Minseok has already taken off.

“You’re going to be okay.”

Those sound like famous last words, but for some reason, you believe them when they come out of his mouth. You take a deep breath and follow Chanyeol, taking your sister’s hand in yours when you can.

As you come upon what they apparently consider a door, which is a giant, rolling fence covered with large scraps of plywood, you notice two people, each strapped with weapons, looking down at you from atop the fence. You see them carefully watching the group and exchanging a glance with each other as you come to a stop.

Chanyeol and Minseok look up at them and wait, but nothing happens.

“Are you going to let us in?”

“Who are they?” the female one asks with a gesture of her gun, completely ignoring Minseok’s question.

“Friends,” Chanyeol answers them simply.

The guards exchange another glance before the male one on the opposite side asks, “Where’s Sehun?”

Chanyeol looks at the ground instead of answering, so Minseok yells up, “He’s gone.”

The two guards take in this new information slowly before the male nods at someone on the ground. After a moment, the fence starts rolling open, revealing the camp to you; however, camp isn’t an accurate word. Neighborhood is more fitting.

Neat, small houses line each side of the dirt road that runs through the middle of the camp. Only a couple have light coming from inside, telling you most of the place is asleep.

You notice Chanyeol and Minseok begin walking down the road, and you and Shay quickly move to be by them. As you pass the man who opened the gate, he eyes you curiously, but you recognize the hint of caution and wariness buried underneath.

Chanyeol and Minseok walk until they’re about five houses in, and then they go left towards a pale-yellow house. You follow closely, not wanting to lose them or be away from them in this unfamiliar place. You wonder how you ended up in this position, and hope you didn’t just make a mistake that cost you and Shay your lives.

The two men walk up to the porch and knock in code on the door. You and Shay share a confused look, but neither of you says anything. Not much time passes before a man, roughly around the same age as them, opens the door.

He thinks nothing of it and waves them inside until his eyes spot the two of you. They widen in surprise at your sudden appearance before he snaps his head to look at the two men.

“Who are they?”

“Junmyeon, this is Y/N and Shay,” Chanyeol introduces you, “and you should let them in before too many people see them. We’re not ready for them to start asking questions.”

The name sounds familiar in your head, and you realize this is the man they called their leader. Not only the leader of their once pop group but one who is on the council for this camp as well.

He eyes you cautiously as you and Shay walk into the house and quickly shuts the door once you’re inside. You take a quick glance around the home and notice its blandness. No personal items are within eyesight; only furniture and normal items that could be found in any other house.

“Why are they here?” Junmyeon asks suspiciously. “And I repeat, who are they?”

“They helped save our lives.”

You look over at Chanyeol and wish he would stop saying that. You didn’t save their lives. You just prolonged the inevitable.

“They needed somewhere to go, and I offered here.”

“And why did you think you could do that?” Junmyeon immediately asks.

“Because it was the right thing to do, and like I said, they helped us.”

Junmyeon sighs and looks away as he tries to process and think this through. The floor creaks over to your left, and you quickly whip your head towards the sound, already ready to fight if need be. Instead, you see another man eyeing you curiously. His full lips make it look like he is pouting as you try to get a read on him.

“Y/N and Shay, this is our friend, Jongin,” Chanyeol starts before turning and meeting your eyes. “This is another member of our group. Well… the last one…”

His words cause Junmyeon to realize something, and he quickly searches each of your faces before asking, “Where’s Sehun?”

Chanyeol and Minseok avoid both of their gazes for a moment, and you see Junmyeon start blinking away tears as he shakes his head. He takes a deep breath before turning his back to you all and instead faces the wall.

“He’s dead?” Jongin asks in a shocked voice.

He continues to stare at all of you in disbelief like you’re gonna eventually tell him it’s a joke, but the longer he waits, the more he realizes you’re completely serious.

“How?”

Minseok sighs and stares blankly at a wall as he recalls what happened. “We got surrounded by a herd, and he was bit… He forced us to let him sacrifice himself so we could get away.”

You make a mental note of the fact that Minseok kept quiet about Shay’s involvement in Sehun’s death and wonder if it’s because he feels it’s better if they don’t know, or if he’s protecting her.

Tears fall freely down Jongin’s face, and you look away to give him a little privacy. He doesn’t need an audience watching his grief. You glance over at Junmyeon and see him rest his palms against the wall before leaning his head against it. His back is shaking as he lets out tears himself.

You and Shay make eye contact, and she searches your gaze. It didn’t feel like you should be here anymore. It feels like the boys need to be together and that you and Shay don’t belong. This paired with the looks the guards at the gate gave you, and you’re starting to feel like you made a mistake by coming here.

“We’re…” you trail off before clearing your throat. “We’re gonna go…”

Chanyeol and Minseok immediately snap their heads to you in confusion, and you hook your thumb and point back to the door in an awkward movement.

“Don’t leave,” Chanyeol says, immediately taking a step towards you.

Something about the look on his face makes you want to instantly take your words back. Their leader takes a deep breath before turning around to face the rest of you. He must’ve wiped the tears from his face because the only signs he had cried are his red nose and puffy eyes.

“If you’re looking for a place to stay, why would you suddenly want to leave?”

Your mouth slowly parts, but no words come out. What are you supposed to say? We don’t trust you? My sister thinks she accidentally got your friend killed? You have a bad feeling about this place? What?

Shay, however, saves you from having to say anything. “It doesn’t seem like you’re up for company right now… Besides, it’s hard to allow outsiders into tight groups, so why should we bother trying?”

Junmyeon raises his brows and slowly nods his head. You could tell your sister’s bluntness, both surprised and pleased him.

“I want you here… I suggested you guys come here,” Chanyeol says, trying to convince you for some reason.

“Chanyeol, if they don’t want to stay, don’t make them,” Junmyeon tells him, already ready to kick you out but in a polite manner.

Chanyeol gives him an obvious look. “They want to stay. They just don’t feel like we want them here… and I’m telling you, again, that I’d like you to stay.”

His eyes bore holes into yours before he turns to your sister and searches her face as well. She eventually nods at him and then looks over at you.

A massive part of you wants to stay. Wants to feel safe and create a life here, and you really feel like this is the place to do that. Also, getting to know Chanyeol a little more would be an added bonus… but the other part of you is scared. You’re scared of the loss of control and having to answer to a complete stranger.

“Chanyeol and I will back them if anyone has any issues with it. I trust them enough that I think they should stay here.”

Minseok’s words surprise you. Minseok is quieter and more closed off of the two, and you certainly never expected him to vouch for you to stay. Especially when he was reluctant to tell you about the camp in the first place.

You’re not the only one surprised by this, either. Junmyeon and Jongin seem equally shocked by Minseok’s statement. Junmyeon carefully searches each face in the room.

“Can we talk privately?” he asks the other men.

Jongin immediately turns around and heads towards a different part of the house, and Junmyeon quickly follows him. Minseok looks down at the floor before he turns and follows the two men.

Chanyeol sighs and then looks at you for a moment. His eyes slowly search your face, and you swallow. Why does it feel like he is seeking out all of your vulnerabilities and trying to see exactly who you are deep down?

“Do you want to be here?” he asks lowly, his gaze never leaving yours.

You meet his stare and blink a couple times. It’s now or never. “Yes.”

You see the corner of his lip twitch up and notice he’s fighting off a smile. He looks down and nods, finally letting the smile come out.

“Okay, I’ll make it happen.”

You watch him turn and walk towards the back of the house like the others did. His broad back catches your eyes for a moment, and you have to shake yourself out of it.

“See something you like?” your sister asks, her voice drawing you back to reality.

“No,” you immediately say. “Maybe… I don’t know.”

Shay lets out a small laugh before her face falls serious. “Do you think this is smart?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head. “I don’t know what’s smart and what’s not anymore… I just hope this doesn’t get us killed.”

“Those guards out front…” she starts before trailing off.

“I know… something about the looks on their faces tells me they don’t take very kindly to strangers… I think they’re gonna give us trouble.”

She bites her lip. “And if they do?”

You shrug. “We’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.”

A few more minutes go by. The silence of the house is unnerving. At least outside, you have the trees, the wind, crickets… but in here, it’s like being in a sealed tomb. You can’t even hear the men talking, and you briefly think they have left you there on your own.

When they do come back, each of them has a serious expression on their face, and for the life of you, you can’t tell if they come bearing good or bad news.

Junmyeon comes to a stop a couple of feet in front of you with Chanyeol close behind him. Minseok stays a little further back while Jongin barely even enters the room. You try to search Chanyeol’s face for an answer, but he keeps his face blank as his eyes dart between you and Junmyeon.

Your heart drops. They aren’t going to let you stay. You walked all the way here for absolutely nothing. You were shown a decent life that you aren’t allowed to have.

“We’ll vouch for you.”

You gasp and blink a couple times.

“What?” you ask, making sure you heard right.

Junmyeon takes a deep breath. “You can stay… and we’ll vouch for you with the rest of the community. I can’t entirely control their decisions, but my word does pull some weight, so…”

You feel fingers grasping at yours and realize it’s Shay. You tightly squeeze her fingers, and it’s almost like the two of you are trying to ground each other.

They’re going to let you stay… They’re willing to allow you to stay here and make a new life. One that doesn’t involve sleeping in shifts or being a victim of the elements. One that you can attempt to find some semblance of normalcy.

“Before you get too excited, you need to know that the community can vote against this… but we’ll do our best to make sure that doesn’t happen. Also, you have to be willing to help out around here like the rest of us. There will be no free passes,” Junmyeon warns you.

Shay nods. “Absolutely! We’d expect nothing less.”

Shay…” you calmly say. “Let’s not get too excited about this just yet…”

You turn to face your sister and see her sobering up a little. You have a bad feeling the community won’t want you here, so you don’t want to get your hopes up just yet, even if Junmyeon makes it sound like he can make it happen… You just want to prepare yourself for when it doesn’t.

“For now, you can sleep here. We won’t worry about things we can’t control until it’s at least daylight.” Junmyeon says, starting to turn away from you.

“Junmyeon,” you blurt out, causing him to stiffen. “Thank you. For doing this for us.”

He slowly nods at you. “No problem, but you should be thanking Chanyeol and Minseok too.”

“We will,” You quickly say, meeting Chanyeol’s eyes.

You see a mischievous glint sparkle in his eyes as he cocks a brow at you. Your eyes widen once you realize how your words could’ve sounded, but you also have no intentions of backtracking them…

You don’t want to give yourself false hope, but you can see yourself falling for Chanyeol… and you have a strong feeling if you’re allowed to stay, something will definitely happen between you two.

“Alright, so… We each have our own rooms… and now that… now that one is no longer occupied, you two can share the bed in there for tonight.”

You freeze at the reminder of Sehun and carefully look at your sister, who looks like she’s seen a ghost. For a fleeting moment, she had been able to forget about what happened with Sehun, but sleeping in his room - in his bed - would be a cold reminder.

“Thank you…” you softly tell the room as you feel the awkward tension grow.

It’s quiet for a moment before Minseok, of all people, breaks it.

“You know, I think we should have Y/N sleep in Chanyeol’s room,” He says, sending you a smirk and causing everyone to stare at him. “I’m pretty sure those two are going to help repopulate the earth.”

Your mouth drops open as you stare at him in disbelief. Minseok? Of all people? Jongin lets out a laugh that draws your attention because he has been so silent. A beautiful smile graces his face, and you look around the rest of the room in shock.

Junmyeon shares your shocked expression as he looks between the two of you. Shay has covered her mouth with her hand, but you can tell she is laughing. Then, there is Chanyeol.

His ears have turned a little red at the suggestion, but a smile is present on his face. When he finally meets your stare, that smile grows even brighter, and he sends a wink your way causing you to flush.

Hours ago, you never would’ve expected your day to end like this. You never expected to find somewhere safe to live and put down roots… maybe even fall in love… and with your sister at your side. It’s the best thing that could’ve happened to you, and you suddenly feel something you haven’t experienced in a very long time:

Hope.

Tagging: @trashlord-007 @suhappysuho @yixing-jaehyun @sehyix @lukai-m @nothingbutadeadesceane @miharus-world @tanithrea

193 notes · View notes