#pe but also i don't want to talk too much about this because i am not romani and if you wanna know more about this you should seek out their

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC interview

Thanks to @bloodmoonloveletter here, @mk-writes-stuff here, @illarian-rambling here, and @elsie-writes here!

Last did Wade here.

Doing Jazlyn now because I don't talk about her enough and I'd like to develop her character more!

Are you named after anyone?

“Nope. The one and only, girl. I'm just Jazlyn!”

When was the last time you cried?

“Oh, pfft! I don't cry. Maybe out of sheer boredom listening to Dr. Ass-ghar ramble on about her rules and how I'm not following them! Like, girl, I can't help that I have fire powers and lit something on fire! That would be like getting mad that Gabe got a little dirty. Oh, and her meetings are the wooorst. Yeah crying for my life in there.” [It was during Ewan's clarinet solo actually]

Do you have kids?

“Girl, what? I'm not even eighteen yet! Close... I'd love kids, honestly. A lot of them! I'd have so much fun with them!”

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

“Look, I know I come across as someone who uses sarcasm, but I'd rather just flat out say what I'm thinking. Why be like ‘wow that was so riveting’ when I could say, ‘this is the most boring crap I have ever seen in my entire life’? So much easier, no mental hoops. Besides, Ewan is the most oblivious to sarcasm I have ever seen.”

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

“Their confidence level. I can usually tell how someone feels about themselves based on how they stand. Posture is the key, but also what they're doing with their hands.”

What’s your eye colour?

“Brown. With some golden flecks when the light hits them right, according to Ewan.”

Scary movies or happy endings?

“Easy, scary movies. This question is stupid - they aren't opposites. However, nothing is more fun than a horror movie. Love getting the blood pumping. Yelling at the characters for being massive dummies is also the best. Horror is the most entertaining to watch with others. Ewan thank the Lord is also a horror enthusiast. We make a habit to have at least one or two horror movie nights a month.”

Any special talents?

“Oh, several. I am pretty athletic. Took cheerleading a while back and now I am on my high school basketball team. At first, I wasn't sure I would like basketball - my coach in middle school pulled me aside and recommended it due to my height, but I love it now. I am also getting pretty good at learning archery. Lighting the arrows on fire makes that more exciting. I am also pretty good at martial arts and my pyrokinesis. Working on breathing fire without burning my throat. Thank the Lord I have Wade to heal me so I can try again!”

Where were you born?

“I was born in flippin' Utah. I know--lily white state, you'd never guess. Ewan and I plan to move somewhere else once we can. Can you believe he was born in Alium? That ain't fair.”

Do you have any pets?

“Ewan and I plan to one day get a dog. We have been planning on moving in together for a while.”

What sort of sports do you play?

“Like I said, basketball. I would love to learn how to play this Alii fireball sport. It's very similar to basketball, but pyrokinetics pass around fire. That sounds like so much fun, man. Did you know they have to keep a healer at each game because not all pyrokinetics are immune to fire? And the audience can get hit too if they're not careful! This sounds like such a fun sport.”

How tall are you?

“I have finally passed six-foot-three. Alii heights are a blessing and a curse.”

What was your favourite subject in school?

“I hope you tell me PE counts as a subject cause I ain't saying anything else. School sucks, girl. I have gotten detention for the lamest reasons imaginable.”

What is your dream job?

“I would love to be in sales. Something about convincing people to do what I want is inticing. Planning on getting a marketing degree when I go to college next year.”

Tagging @leahnardo-da-veggie @eccaiia @mysticstarlightduck @monstrouswrites @mrbexwrites @gottestod-writes @willtheweaver @winterandwords @i-can-even-burn-salad @elizaellwrites @chauceryfairytales @somethingclevermahogony @faeriecinna + anyone else who wants to!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

Blanks below the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

^for an easy copy and paste

#the secret portal #tsp #teaspoon #jazlyn nyambura #oc interview #oc tag game #writing tag game #my oc #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community

[uraandri]

it's also telling how whenever there's talk about diversity in the balkans from a western point of view nobody ever gives a shit about the roma and the persecution they face because that would require the west to adopt a slightly diferent worldview when talking about racism and discrimination but like. what did i expect

#this is not me trying to remove responsibility for the antiromani crimes and sentiment that is wide spread in the balkans it's just interest #ing to me how they're simply never included in these types of conversations same as with any other minority groups especialy in eastern euro #pe but also i don't want to talk too much about this because i am not romani and if you wanna know more about this you should seek out their #organizations cause they do a lot in terms of educating people and trying to better the living conditions of roma communities #ura.txt

[samthestrangerthingsfan]

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: friends-to-lovers, mutual pining, lots of parallels, reader is a lil down on herself but don't worry, eddie is down bad for her.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of weed and smoking, smut!! 18+, minors DNI.

AN: do i write 90% of my fics based on what pops into my head when i hear a certain song? yeah. also this is only half edited bc life. enjoy bbs <3

“Okay, okay,” You laughed. “One more hit then I’m tapped out, Eds.”

Eddie grinned, speaking through a half-held breath. “Oh no, Sweetheart. New stuff hittin’ a little too hard?”

You inhaled deeply, passing back to him what was left of the joint. It went straight to your head, and you flopped back, laying comfortably on Eddie’s bed.

Eddie inhaled, following suit, making your body bounce as he hit the mattress.

“Shit,” he mumbled. “Feel like I’m fuckin’ flying.” He grips your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. “Don’t let me float away, okay?”

You smile at him, taking in how fucking beautiful he looks under the dim lights in his bedroom.

“Never. You’re stuck with me, Eds.”

He looks down at you, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. He took you in like he'd done 100 times before. Eyes trailing from your nose, to your eyes, landing at your mouth.

So fucking beautiful.

“Good," he breathes, pulling you in closer. "Just the way I like it.”

Eddie let go of you hand, only to wrap his arm around you and pull you into his chest. He placed a kiss to the crown of your head, "This okay?"

It's all I want. You think.

"Or do we have to get up and go watch that cheesy chick-flick I promised we'd watch.

You sighed, fiddling with the hem of your denim skirt. "I'd stay here all night if you let me."

That's all I want. He thinks.

Eddie leans back a bit, looking down at you. He's not sure if it's the weed making his so emotional, but he swears he could cry just looking into your eyes. "What am I gonna do if one of these dates you keep going on works out? What if someone takes you from me?"

He tries to sound relaxed, but the truth is, the thought keeps him up at night. There’s gonna be a guy that steals you away from him one of these days. Someone who can give you everything he can’t, someone brave enough to open their mouth and tell you just how much they love you.

and it'll crush him.

The laugh that escapes you is a cynical one, "Eddie, I've been on three dates with three different men, and I've gone home alone each time."

"So?" He asks.

"So," You scoff. "It means no one is interested in doing anything with me."

It’s true—to you at least. The guys you’d gone out with were either not looking to be tied down, or ran once they met you. The last guy thought you’d be easy because ‘the freak’s best friend has to be a freak herself right?’

The dates were a distraction for you. As your heart pined over the one guy you could have it all with, it was breaking too. Eddie hadn’t made a move on you—ever, and you weren’t brave enough too.

So the two of you sat in limbo, completely unaware that the other person was right there with you.

Eddie sits back, releasing you from his arms. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" You ask, sitting back as well.

"That. Act like you're the problem, and not these shitty fucking dudes you keep going out with.” Eddie tried to control his tone, but his temper got the better of him. He cursed at himself for it.

Jesus H. Christ, Munson, get it together.

You push back from him fully now, "Eddie, the common denominator is me. I-I'm fucking broken or something."

“Stop that.” He seethed.

It’s a command—a tone you've heard him use with Steve, or Dustin, but not you.

Never with you.

Eddie stood as you sat up, hanging your legs off the edge of the bed.

"What--"

He turned back and got to his knees right in front of you.

“Stop talking about yourself like that. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

He was close to you, and with him on his knees, his gaze was just at your eye level. “You’re not broken. There's nothing wrong with you, you’re—you’re fucking perfect.”

“Eddie…”

“No, no, just…just shush for a second.” Eddie moved his hand to your cheek, his thumb sweeping across it gently. “You think all this shit about yourself and it’s just not fucking true. I wish, for a second, you could see yourself how I see you. I fucking adore you.”

You feel the warmth of his breath on your nose. His large hand on your cheek warms you, and you lean into the touch, closing your eyes.

Everything is Eddie in this moment. He’s invading every sense you had.

It’s overwhelming.

You can feel your eyes brim with tears. “You don’t have to say that, Eds. I’m okay. I’m just…I’m lonely, that’s all.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. He watched you, he saw the tears hidden beneath your lashes. How could you not see it? See how you were…everything to him?

His mind stopped for a moment, deciding whether or not to take the leap, to risk it all and not run for once.

Fuck it.

“I’m right here, Princess. I’ve been right here.” He leans his forehead on yours.

You exhale his name, “Eddie,”

“What,” he’s quick to ask. “What is it, Sweetheart?”

Your on fire with how close he is to you. But he doesn’t mean it, not in the way you hoped he would…does he?

Your eyes open, seeing his beautiful brown ones searching your face for some kind of clue as to what you’re feeling. You clasp your hand on top of his. “Please,” you beg. “Please don’t say things you don’t mean just to make me feel better. My heart can’t take it.”

He laughs softly, bringing his other hand up. He’s cradling your face gently, “Oh, Honey. You have no idea just how much I mean it.”

Eddie is overwhelmed with you. You’re everywhere, and he can’t fucking think straight. Probably a good thing right about now, because he’s about to do something he never thought he’d be lucky enough to do.

“Can,” he clears his throat. “Can I kiss you, Baby?”

With zero hesitation, you nod, earning a chuckle from Eddie.

“Gotta use your words, sweet thing.”

“Yes,” it comes out as a plea. “Kiss me...please.”

Warm warm warm.

It’s all you feel when he leans in. Then his soft lips are on yours, all the while he’s holding you as if you’d be the one to float away.

Eddie kisses you like he’s done it a thousand times. Like he knows your lips and the pattern that drives them crazy. He’s trying to tell you everything he’s been too afraid to say since the moment he met you.

There’s no one but you.

You’re everything.

I love you, please, let me love you.

Regrettably, you pull away. Breathless from the kiss, but also how surreal this moment is.

“I-I,” you sigh, touching your forehead to his. “I’ve wanted to do that for forever.” It comes out as whisper. As if you’d scare him away if you said it too loud.

Eddie smiles, a relieved laugh passing his lips. “Yeah?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

It’s quiet for a beat, Eddie is looking at you so softly and with such care.

“You’re so beautiful.” He says with all of the conviction in the world. “My pretty girl.”

“Am I?” You ask. “Am I yours?”

He nods, "If you want to be." He moves his hands, resting one on each thigh. He rubs them absentmindedly, likes he's trying to flatten the goosebumps that had prickled across your skin. “...and I’m yours. You've got me, Honey.”

Eddie's grin was still a shy one. You brush your hand across his face, pushing back any stray hairs. "Eds?"

He grips your wrist gently, placing small, tender kisses along the inside of it. The gesture is so simple, but it sends a heat through you like you've never experienced before.

"What is it, pretty girl? Whatever you want, whatever you need...it's yours."

You intertwine your fingers with his smoothly, "You, Eddie. Need you. Wanna make you feel good, Eds."

Now it was his turn to get goosebumps.

"Fuck, Angel. You can't just say that to me." He breathes.

Your bedroom eyes blink twice, "Please?"

A strangled moan vibrates from his chest, "Who am I to deny the fair maiden what she asks for?" Eddie stands, holding out a hand for you.

You're pulled to your feet by him, and he's looking at you through a brand new set of eyes. "One problem with that though, Princess. You come first."

You gasp as his hands take purchase of your ass, pulling you into him. "If anything, and I mean anything is too much, or too weird, you tell me, okay?"

You're nodding again, and he tuts at you. "Uh-uh. Words, baby."

Your arms fall around his neck and you press your body against his. "Yes, sir."

"Ho-ly-shit." He moans. "Yeah, I'm gonna kiss you now. Cool? Cool."

He's hungrier this time, kissing with teeth and tongue as his roaming hands explore your body.

"Eddie, Eddie..." You breath through swollen lips. "Too many clothes."

"You a mind reader or something?" He jokes, ripping the t-shirt from his body. His body was a work of art in more ways than one, and seeing it now, like this, made you crave it all the more.

You watch as Eddie falls to his knees, "Can I?" He asks, pulling at your skirt.

"God, yes."

He unbuttons the fastener, pulling the distressed denim down until it's pooling at your ankles. Eddie then came face to face with your black-lace covered heat.

"I-I'm dead right? I've died and now I'm at the pearly gates."

Your hands cover your face, "Eddie! Stop!"

He stands quickly, "No, baby, no. God, please don't hide from me." He pulls your hands away gently.

Your shirt is next to go, and so is the matching bra. Eddie pulls his pants down, leaving his boxers on.

"Lay down for me, Princess. Wanna take care of you.”

The timber of his voice makes you tremble. Once your comfortable on the bed, Eddie climbs on too.

“Now, I know this is all new, and we’re figuring things out as we go, but…” Eddie pauses, laying on his stomach between your legs.

He starts kissing his way up your legs. “I’ve been dreaming of eating this pussy for a long, kiss, long, kiss, long time.”

You’re so turned on you can barely speak, but you manage to get out a quiet. “Well what are you waiting for?”

Your thong is thrown into parts unknown, and Eddie starts to feast like a man starved.

“Eddie, fuck—“ his tongue explores your heat. His hands hold onto your hips as you grind down onto his mouth.

“Uh-uh, don’t hold back. Wanna hear you, Princess.” He dives back in, lips sucking on your clit, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He slips in one, the two fingers. Pumping and curling them slowly until he finds the spot that makes you see stars.

The fire in your belly is growing and you feel your legs start to shake. “Holy fuck, Eds—Eds I’m gonna cum!” Your hands take purchase in his hair, giving it a sharp tug as you feel the heat engulf you.

Eddie eats your pussy, drinking you in as you cum.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” You release your grip on his hair as you come down from your high.

Eddie crawls up your body, kissing you. You taste yourself all over his tongue. “Don’t be sorry, Baby. Let’s me know you’re enjoying yourself,” he kisses you once more. “Plus, I kinda like it.”

You’re both breathing heavy.

Now it’s his turn.

Your hands touch his shoulder, pushing him gently. “What’re you doing, pretty girl?” He asks softly.

When Eddie’s leaned back against the headboard, you pull his boxers off. Pink, uncut cock springing from it's confines.

God damn...he's fucking huge.

"Gonna ride you, Eds. Let you feel what you did to me." You climbed on top of him, "Can I do that? Can I make you feel good?"

Eddie's nodding, not sure what part of you he wants to look at more.

"Uh-uh," you tease. "Use your words, Handsome."

"Fuck," He breathes. He palms your bare chest, moving the pads of his thumbs over your nipples. "Do whatever you want to me, use me, I'm yours." He leans forward, hot mouth latching to your other breast.

You sit up, allowing Eddie's hard length to slip inside your aching cunt. The sheer stretch and size is enough to snatch the breath from your lungs.

"Eds...Eds, shit. S'big." You moan.

His eyes close as he bottoms out inside of you, "So tight. Fuckin' pussy was made for me, she wants my cock. Won't let it go. She greedy, baby?"

You adjust to his size filling the void inside you. Eddie hold your hips as you begin to ride him, helping you to keep a steady rhythm.

"Look at you, Princess. Cock-drunk already, hm?" He teases.

Eddie is whispering praises as he fucks up into you.

Such a good girl.

Taking me so well.

My pretty girl.

Mine.

Eddie's pace quickens, and you feel the tremble return to your legs.

"Eddie, fuck, I--"

"I know, Honey. I can feel it, feel you squeezin' me. Let go, Angel. Go on, cum for me."

His words are like a spell.

You cum harder than you did on his mouth, and this time, it's his cock that's drenched in your essence.

"Gonna cum, Sweetheart. Where--"

You're entirely lost in everything Eddie. "Inside me, Eds. Fuck, please cum inside me."

"Shit, shit, shit." Eddie's moves become erratic. Sloppy thrusts chasing his release, and when he does, he all but growls in your ear.

He's breathless and spent, but his arms wrap around you. Eddie holds you, softening inside you. He kisses the center of your chest, the trail making its way across your shoulder, up your jaw, and to your lips.

"Hi." He says quietly.

You giggle softly, "Hi."

"So uh, not sure if this is a good time or not..."

You kiss his nose, "Hmm?"

"I-I...I love you. I don't know, just felt like someone should tell you, might as well be me." Eddie's big brown eyes search your face for any sign of regret or discomfort.

Nothing.

You kiss him deeply, "I'm glad you told me, otherwise I'd be sitting over here, in love with you, looking all silly by myself."

Eddie holds you tighter. "You, you love me?"

You giggle, "Edward Munson. I love you."

He pulls you closer, "You love me." It's a statement now.

Eddie lays his head against your bare chest. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up in a second, Sweetheart. Just wanna hold you for a little."

Rubbing small circles on his back, you kissed the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere, Handsome."

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Poor rendition of queer characters in HH and HB

Here I am again talking about queer representation in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, this time just more generally. Because it's always a little weird to me when people claim HH/HB to have good queer representation, when in actuality most of the queer characters are either just blatant stereotypes or get mishandled somehow. And with Helluva Boss recently winning the Queertys - Web series reward I think that this is probably a pretty good time to acknowledge that kind of stuff (as people have done before).

TW: Sexual assault, R@pe (when referring to the actions of characters)

Blitzø (Pansexual): is very sexual and seen on screen multiple times either having sex or just having had sex. Pretty much fits the general stereotype of queer men always being sexual and also the stereotype of pansexuals just sleeping with everybody. Like, he literally screwed the mutual Ex of his coworkers even though he knew how much that guy hurt them.

Stolas (Gay): also mostly sexual (from how he was introduced) and he is in a pretty terrible "relationship" with Blitzø, which includes coercion, SA, Power dynamics and fetishization. Another very sex-driven queer man. Also just great proof for the people assuming that queer relationships are inherently predatory, unhealthy and never work out.

Moxxie (Bisexual): is often forced into a very feminine role because even in relationships with women, queer men always have to be pointed out to be feminine and putting a guy in a dress is funny I guess.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus (Queer): they're actually better than a lot of the other characters here but there is still some of that uneven power dynamic going on with them and there are obvious issues with their relationship. Overall they aren't too bad though. They didn't get that much sexual focus and what they got is kinda warranted since Ozzie is the Lust demon. But there is that one scene with Fizz stepping out of his car with Dildo confetti canons (I think) and that was sorta weird, since in an episode before that they presented Crimson as being homophobic and stereotypical for assuming queer men are all obsessed with dicks. Which is just interesting because thats most of the queer men in Vivzepops stories.

Chaz (Queer): just a sexually abusive asshole because we definitely needed more predatory queer men in this show.

Sally May (Trans mtf): basically the single recognized trans character in both shows and she only had one line. After that they made fan merch for her which consisted of her in a bikini with her bulge being drawn pretty visibly (multiple times). Of course there's nothing wrong with Trans people who don't have surgery but it's just a tiny bit weird to me that fanservice merchandise is what she got reduced to, when something like that wasn't even the joke of the only line she had in the show and because she hasn't recieved any kind of focus after that.

Angel Dust (Gay): now there is a lot of stuff that could be said about Angel. On one hand he is another very sexual gay man whose screentime often just consists of sex jokes and references. On the other hand that's a big point for his character. How he tries to act confident in his sexuality when in reality it's the main source of his problems. Though he does often harass other men in the show and that's just so unnecessary. Talking about Angel mostly leads into discussing if he is good representation for SA victims or not, which is something I don't want to talk about that much because I feel like it's not my place to judge that as someone who never has experienced SA. I'm gonna say that I do find Viv's treatment of him outside of the show insensitive (with the pro-shipping, diminishing Valentino as an Abuser and general sexualization of the characters) but as far as the portrayal of him in the show goes I've heard different opinions and you should read the discussion's of actual r@pe survivors about this topic if you want to know about more about it.

Husk (Queer): I don't have anything to say about Husk. He is a very refreshing queer man in these show's and there is nothing bad about him I could think of right now.

Valentino (Queer): for him I mostly want to talk about how he is treated outside of the show which doesn't sit right with me. He is a villian in HH so it's understandable that he is gonna do effed up stuff. I also like that the show tries to make a point about how men get sexually assaulted too (wether they succeeded in that inside the show I'm not gonna judge too hard like I said). But there are a lot of people who not only sexualize him, but also his actions and his relationship to Angel and from what I know Viv never really spoke out against that. She actually interacts with people who do that stuff and I it's just kinda gross.

Vox (Queer): I also don't have a lot to say about him. He and Val are a couple so he is dating a r@pist but he is also a villain so you can't really expect more from him. Especially since he would still be interacting with a r@pist even if they weren't dating.

Alastor (Aromantic, Asexual): is obviously not interested in relationships or sex but his identity is pretty much ignored by a huge amount of the fandom. Vivzepop never say's anything about people blatantly invalidating him like that. It seems to me like she doesn't care about characters who can't be involved in shipping but still wanted to have more diversity in her show so she just called him AroAce. In Hazbin Hotel he isn't bad representation though. His sexuality is never the focus but thats fine, it's mostly just the treatment he gets outside of HH which I don't like.

Charlie (Bisexual): doesn't have a lot to her sexuality. This is something I talked about pretty lengthy in my other post, specifically about the lack of Sapphic content in both shows, so I won't go into too much detail here. Her relationship with Vaggie would probably be the best in both shows if it wasn't for the fact that they both never get the real spotlight as a couple. And there is that thing in Vivzepops stories where the women are pretty much sexless without men and that's obviously something that is generally an issue when talking about the lack of Sapphic representation (which is also a topic heavily tied to sexism). Charlie's portrayal isn't necessarily stereotypical but that's just because there is nothing to her identity in the show.

Vaggie (Lesbian): like I said I already talked about the Chaggie relationship so now I wanna focus on something I didn't even mention in that post. Her name literally being Vagina and that's apparently funny because she is a Lesbian so she obviously likes Vagina. That's just incredibly stereotypical and also excludes Trans Lesbians and Asexual Lesbians who don't want sex. The whole joke was that Adam named her that because he is obsessed with sex and he's a jerk. But her name was always Vagina even in the pilot (from what I know Adam wasn't conceived then and neither was the idea that Vaggie even is a former exterminator).

That's all the queer characters I could think of. I hope I didn't miss any.

I thought about including Millie here too. But she was also already included in my other discussion post and I still don't know if she is canonically Bisexual of if that is just a headcannon so I didn't put her here.

I'm just gonna say that i don't have a problem with queer men being sexual (or any queer person in that regard). But it's pretty much every one of her queer male characters. This is especially bad when a lot of the relationships are toxic as well.

I just think too many characters fit stereotypes and to me that isn't good queer representation. If you like the depiction of queer characters in HH or HB that's good for you and you don't have to agree with me. But you also can't really deny a lot of this stuff and you can't expect others to just be fine with bland, hurtful and sometimes even toxic representation like there is in these shows.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #vivzepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #vivziepop #helluva boss #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #queer representation #queer rep in media

[riddlerosehearts]

silver twisted wonderland is strongly autistic coded and, although most likely completely unintentional, really good autistic representation in my opinion and i wanna talk about why 💚

okay, so. as an autistic person myself, i love to see myself in fictional characters and headcanon characters i can relate to as autistic. i personally feel that you don't necessarily need evidence to do this, but i do like having evidence and being able to back up my headcanons! and i've thought of silver as autistic-coded ever since a couple months after i first got into twisted wonderland early last year, and have been wanting to make a post on his many autistic traits since october. i should warn in advance that this is probably going to be a long post, which is why i'm putting it under a cut. so with all that being said, let's get into it!

silver takes people's words very literally. all the time.

the first time i called silver autistic-coded, in a message to a friend of mine, was when i was sharing my thoughts on the endless halloween/spectral soiree event and i reached this scene between him and jamil:

in this scene, jamil exclaims "you've got to be kidding me!" in frustration and silver misinterprets this as jamil thinking he was trying to make a joke, and then tries to explain what he actually meant. he also does something like this in leona's ceremonial robes vignette, when leona responds to silver's assumption that he and malleus are friends with "you're dreamin'. come back and talk to me once you wake up. or better yet, don't", and then silver replies: "in fact, i am very much awake". and in ruggie's PE uniform vignette, ruggie tries to joke about teaching silver to haggle "if you ever end up on the street" but silver responds by genuinely thanking him, to ruggie's surprise. this type of overly literal thinking and clear difficulty with understanding sarcasm is incredibly common in autistic people and silver does it all. the. time. i'm only giving a handful of examples because it would take way too long to try and compile every single instance of this.

similarly, silver tends to take what people say at face value and assume that others have good intentions where most people would not.

examples of this include the fact that, also in leona's ceremonial robes vignette, silver believes leona without question about having seen malleus in the greenhouse even though it should be obvious that leona is lying. and, in silver's broomquet/bloom birthday card voice lines, when azul gives him a coupon for his birthday, silver is told that there must be a scheme "behind this gift" and responds by saying that there's nothing written on the back of it--or, in another translation, he's told that there's "something fishy" about it and replies that it's not a coupon for seafood. so he not only doesn't even consider that azul of all people might have an unsavory motive for gifting him a coupon, but he also misunderstands a common turn of phrase. these are very common traits that cause autistic people to be thought of as oblivious and naive.

silver has trouble understanding social conventions and nuances in general, and has ways of thinking that seem strange to others.

in silver's birthday boy voice lines, he apologizes to yuu for not realizing why they were asking what he wanted a while back and having answered with "more time for training", and he also thinks yuu is odd for being excited when it's not their own birthday. in his PE uniform vignette he tries to help vil with a film club project by starring as an extra in a short film, but vil ends up getting angry with him because silver can't figure out when he's "supposed" to act surprised. he also surprises and confuses others by treating events like the culinary crucible and beanfest in unusually serious and overdramatic ways, with the latter event causing vil and riddle to discuss how difficult it is to tell when he's joking--during which riddle, who spends a lot of time around silver as a fellow member of the equestrian club, notes that silver isn't the type to tell jokes. jack and jamil have a similar discussion after silver tells them about how he befriended a family of bears as a child, during the endless halloween event. and in his birthday boy vignette, he talks about how ever since sebek grew taller than him, he's been asking sebek to get the dishes from the top shelf, which always causes sebek to get a "triumphant look" on his face. and then, rather than realizing sebek is taking pride in being taller than him, silver says he thinks that he must "get enjoyment out of fetching things from high places".

again, there's way too many examples of silver doing things like this and i don't want this post to be so long that it's impossible to read. but this is all just very autistic of him and these are the kinds of things that cause us to be thought of as weird, stupid, and annoying by our peers.

silver has flat or blunted affect.

the word "affect" refers to how one portrays emotion, through gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. if you have a flat or blunted affect, your emotions will come through very little, no matter how strongly you may feel them, and it can be incredibly difficult for others to tell if you're happy or sad or what you're feeling at any given time. this is something autistic people commonly experience, and silver has this with his lack of facial expression in particular. in-game, silver has extremely little variance in facial expressions compared to every other character, and even his one rarely used smiling expression--while adorable and always a delight to see--is more of a small half-smile.

and it takes a lot to even get this much out of him. he'll often say that he's happy or excited, and seem to genuinely mean it, but not smile at all. i believe that most often he's seen smiling like this when talking to or about lilia (brb while i cry at the thought of that). and this trait of his is commented on several times, such as one of his groovy voice lines when he says the following with his usual neutral look on his face:

or, in his birthday boy voice lines, where he says: "every time someone takes a birthday picture of me, they ask me to smile more. i AM smiling…"

it's fairly common for autistic people to have flat affect and be thought of as robotic, emotionless, and unapproachable as a result. and there's actually a lot more on this topic that i want to talk about, but i'm going to come back to it later in this post.

silver has a love for mushroom risotto that can be seen as him having a samefood.

the word "samefood" refers to the tendency that autistic people can have to eat the same food very frequently for days, weeks, or even months at a time. people who have samefoods might have a strong reliance on routine and/or have sensory issues that make them resistant to trying new foods. and they may often need the food to be prepared the same exact way each and every time. it's common for autistic people to be thought of as picky eaters with bland palates (because samefoods are often, but not always, the kinds of foods that are usually considered bland and plain) because of this.

admittedly, silver does say in one of his voice lines that he's not too picky when it comes to food, but the reason i'm applying this trait to him is because of jade's labwear vignette. lilia comments on the fact that silver is having mushroom risotto again and says he's always been like this and that he needs to broaden his palate, to which silver replies that he doesn't mind eating the same thing every single day. then, when he tries the risotto he gets so shocked that he freezes in place and lilia suspects that he's been poisoned, all because it turns out that the texture of the mushrooms is different that day. lilia says he doesn't see why that matters and asks if silver is sure he isn't just imagining it. this last bit is also interesting to me because autistic people are often overly sensitive to food texture, and get similar reactions as the one silver got from lilia when we try to talk about it. i feel like it's lucky that the changed texture of the mushrooms was one silver enjoyed, because it could've been very frustrating if his samefood was suddenly different in an unpleasant way.

and, i originally wanted to also include sections for some other small things, like how he's mentioned feeling his chest tense up around large crowds and having trouble relaxing in unfamiliar places, or his having a fairly limited range of interests and thinking that he's not fun to be around, or how he tends to communicate better with the animals that flock to him than with his schoolmates, but this post is already getting long so i figure i should go ahead and move onto the next thing i wanted to talk about:

throughout this post i've been saying that autistic people who share the traits that silver has are often thought of as stupid, annoying, unapproachable, and/or emotionless by those around us. we get bullied and looked down on for things that we can't really help. and that's exactly what happens to silver.

here's where i'm going to mention leona's ceremonial robes vignette once again! after the "you're dreaming" "i am very much awake" interaction, leona gets annoyed at silver for not understanding what he meant and says he must have a screw loose, and then ruggie says the following, right in front of silver:

leona then tricks silver with his lie--or, i guess technically it's more of a half-truth--about the greenhouse, an action which causes even ruggie to say he feels bad for silver. and later, when leona goes to diasomnia to confront malleus, this interaction occurs:

this vignette is just one of several examples of other students looking down on silver and taking advantage of his tendency to take people at face value and assume the best of them. not just ruggie and leona, but a significant amount of other students see silver as absent-minded, odd, and bothersome and have given him (along with kalim) an insulting nickname.

also, silver's flat affect and the cruel way that people treat him over it is the entire focus of his dorm uniform vignette. silver gets in trouble with crewel, who dismisses his apology because he doesn't "look" sorry, for falling asleep in class and has to collect everyone's reports. his classmates act polite to his face while he's collecting them but then as soon as he walks away they start talking about him behind his back, saying that because he always has the same expression on his face, he's unapproachable, exhausting to deal with, and probably doesn't even actually have emotions. silver overhears all this and instead of getting upset that his classmates are insulting him, saying completely ridiculous things and treating him like a burden, he puts the blame on himself and starts thinking he needs to change himself to fit in with them. he thinks he needs to be like kalim and tries unsuccessfully to get kalim and jamil to give him lessons on how to be more expressive. it's pretty common for autistic people to not even realize we're being treated unfairly and instead believe that we're the problem. it's also common for us to try and mask our autistic traits in order to fit in, and to try copying the behavior of those who seem socially successful and well-liked.

but, silver has people who understand him, who love him exactly as he is, and who don't believe he needs to change.

for one thing, kalim himself doesn't think silver needs to change. he says he thinks silver is really nice and isn't unapproachable at all, but he'll try to help him be more expressive if it's something he wants to work on. kalim is silver's best friend and has never wanted him to be anyone other than himself. and when sebek realizes what silver is doing he immediately thinks it's ridiculous and instead comes up with a plan for silver to be able to show his classmates that he isn't emotionless. malleus and lilia then spot the two of them training in the courtyard and talk about how much they love and care for silver, and how well they understand him.

also, that conversation that lilia and malleus have is one thing in particular that makes me really happy about this vignette and is a reason why i think silver is such unexpectedly good autistic rep (even though, again, he's not canonically autistic and probably wasn't written that way on purpose). because, when i read the endless halloween event i knew next to nothing about diasomnia, had read hardly any of their vignettes yet, and i said to my friend "i know they probably just want us to think silver is weird because he was raised by fae, but i think he's autistic coded." i assumed that him being a human who was raised by fae would be something you could use to explain away all of his quirks if you wanted to, and say that they're a result of that rather than of him possibly being autistic.

but seeing lilia and malleus talk about how they know that silver is an incredibly passionate and empathetic person, that they know he feels very strongly even though his emotions don't show on his face, and that they don't find him difficult to read at all, made me realize that lilia, malleus, and sebek are all fae (half-fae in sebek's case, but still) who are each very different from silver--and sure, i guess you could say that some of his communication issues might come from his upbringing as he never went to school or interacted with others his age very much before going to NRC. but he did grow up with sebek who, again, is half-human and very different from him. and his flat affect at least is explicitly not something that could come from his upbringing as lilia, malleus, and sebek are all at least as expressive as any human--if not even more-so in sebek's case. and from the way lilia and malleus talk about his inexpressivenesss, it seems clear that they know it's an unusual thing, probably not any more common for fae than it is for humans. it's just not a problem for them, because it's a natural part of who silver is and they love who he is.

and basically silver is just sooooo autistic.

when i originally got the idea to write this post i made a joke to my friend that it would be easier to just post a link to silver's twst wiki page as an explanation of why i think he's autistic. i mean, it really would've been since his autistic traits come through in so much of how his character is written and there's so much solid evidence for it. but instead of doing that i decided to autistically write a... *checks notes* 2500+ word essay overexplaining my headcanon because i just love him so so much. so in conclusion:

#twisted wonderland #silver #twst silver #autistic headcanon #actuallyautistic #twst #silver vanrouge #i almost feel kind of silly posting this because it's so long and i'm sure i'm overexplaining myself #but part of that is because i can't know what vignettes and voice lines people have and haven't read #and also because there's just so much. he's the autistic character ever <3

[cupcraft]

With the dream situation, other horrible cc's, but especially dream... i just think its really disheartening not only do people not believe victims/victim blame/harass victims/etc., but that there are also many other pipelines people go down for the sake of defending their cc.

Like, with the allegations especially in the beginning there was so much discourse about the law, the definition of grooming, and what is normal behavior for a victim. It's bad enough people didn't want to believe a potential victim, but then people went further. So, now you think the US Justice System is the pinnacle of justice, and is in fact designed to help "real victims" when there's a lot of evidence to the contrary? So, now you think the fact that it's "technically legal for an adult to flirt with minors in the US" means it's just a okay to do that? You think the US legal definition of grooming is encompassing enough, that it doesn't exclude any one, that it does it's job perfectly to help victims? And i'm not a law expert myself, but I am aware of the harm the US justice system does to victims. And it was really scary how many people who seemed to present themselves of understanding of that, especially in regard to other situations with cc's, just dropped that and started touting the company line about the US justice system being perfect all because they are incapable of saying Dream is fallible in any way. And i'm specifically referring to the american fans that did this who should be aware of the justice system, especially if theyre going to use it in "defense" of a cc. And then people went further and were suddenly a trained psychologist and nitpicked every victim behavior from Amanda especially that doesn't fit their perfect view of a victim, which is to them one who is silent and doesn't harm their fav cc "when he just face revealed :(!! my poor dreamie". Fuck you, is all I really have to say to that.

And it goes further, now it's okay that Dream bought a trump flag and thought it was funny that "oh look it looks like my white friend supports trump!" (even as someone who used to be an active trump supporter...) as if that is funny when it not only had a monetary support from its purchase, but as if that flag at all is "funny". That flag is a monument of hate, of white supremacy, of the attempted insurrection to overthrow our government, of just so much bigotry. I don't see how it's funny for him to use that flag as a "gag christmas gift". It's weird, and it's weird how many people just ignored those facts in favor of "its dream!" and "it wasnt that much money anyway!" and "well [insert cc with nuance i will ignore for the sake of supporting dream] also bought a [insert maga item]". And listen i'll just directly say it, I don't really watch or enjoy hasan's content anymore, but to compare what Hasan does on the daily and dream's "gag gift" as the same you really just don't get it, and you know that you don't.

And then we have Hannah and Niki coming forward about misogyny, who both talked about lack of support from male cc's and coworkers. and then we have people, who support dream, making it about dream. Calling them ungrateful, saying it "wasn't dream", and suddenly misogyny doesn't matter to them, except once dream tweeted his "support for Hannah" then it's something to listen to (clearly, seeing as that his tweet ratio'd hers), when it was a bare minimum statement from the man who is considered by many the face of mcyt. Some of which were same people on twitter and tumblr who call hannah/niki/sniff/aimsey/etc. annoying, who only supported aimsey because he "clapped for sapnap and we have to save them from their evil fanbase (of which many of us didn't support them getting harassment mind you)", some of which were the ones upset a woman/afab cc would be on a team with dream for mcc and potentially "tear down" his precious score.

And let's get into queerphobia too, because as long as it's not against dream queerphobia is a okay with some people! With ranboo first, of course, because it's totally fine to say one coming out overshadows another and it's totally in allyship with the queer community to say that it does /s. You can comment on fandom behavior without taking it out on a queer person's coming out, i promise you can, meaning you can say "hey the queerphobia i witnessed with dream/unlabeled people at large was fucked up" not "wow ranboo really overshadowed dreams coming out and that people were positive about a cc's coming out", like be serious. Oh, and then we have the slurs and queerphobia scott smajor faced over mcc teams on twitter (especially in regards to his dream team placements), and we have people wishing hatecrimes against Prezoh for what he said on twitter recently, again another queer person. And i'm not speaking for these cc's and their feelings on the matter, or assuming their feelings on it, but i am speaking as a queer person who cannot stand to see this from people i once felt in community with in this fandom.

Because at a certain point this highlights how performative you are. You don't care about victims, or misogyny, or queerphobia, or any of that kind of stuff. You just don't. Because dream as your cc matters more to you. and as long as dream is doing it, then i'm convinced you'll go down any pipeline to defend him.

And as a note, i am speaking on things that ive seen and do not attempt to claim its "every stan who does this", but i've seen enough of this behavior to want to call it out. and have for a while.

And listen, there's definitely more to this story but this is what i feel confident speaking on. So as always please reblog and add on if you want, it's an important conversation i think. And you can send me asks/correct me on anything/etc.

#dream situation #fandom critical #discourse #fucking fine im posting it i edited this just now #long post #tw grooming #ask to tag

[askatrigenderlgbt]

Team Captain v.s. Team Ironman

I've been wanting to write this for a little while, but I wanted to do some rewatching and research on the topic again.

This is my view on the topic of who was right, and who was wrong.

My answer? They were both right.

Let me explain:

Tony, after all the damage done that leads to this conflict, wants and does sign the accords. He wants the Avengers to be held accountable for the damages they cause and to have some restrictions so supers can't do anything they want willy nilly. He has the point here. People need rules and structure to avoid anarchy and chaos, to avoid things just ending up a mess.

Steve didn't want to sign the accords because his point was that the avengers couldn't be held down waiting for the green light, not when lives were at stake. His argument is made further when you take in the question of: 'who could actually hold this power?' Hydra invaded SHEILD, the government isn't safe either, and lord knows how corrupt politics are anyway. Hell, after Thanos snapped the government had to go make a consensus. Nobody could hold the avengers when lives were on the line.

Steve and Tony are both right. But they end up also being wrong too.

Tony is blinded by his overwhelming guilt at this point. After all he lost, the new trauma, and dealing with everything, Tony is hyper focused on redemption here. He wants to make up for the things he did, for the people lost in the cross fire. But he ends up not seeing the issues presented to him about signing the accords.

Signing the accords is a problem because, like I talked about with Steve's point, no one can simply have a leash on the heros. If they have to wait then people die, if they are leashed then Hydra would have been pulling the strings. Hydra invaded SHEILD and the government, if they pulled the strings then it's over. Not to mention that the person pushing the accords is General Ross, the man who hunted down Bruce to use him- to make the super soldier serum. General Ross is not an ally, he is a threat.

Steve was also wrong too. Avengers can't have full freedom to do whatever they please. Having powers being used recklessly and causing unnecessary damages to surroundings isn't a good thing. It's a risk to the people he wants to protect.

So Both are right and wrong. Mainly cause this conflict is complex, when you see the risks and factors of why things couldn't work one way or the other. But also remember, this is a conflict created by design too. Zemo had a part to play in this issue. Playing the game just right that would cause the leaders of the avengers to reach a boiling point on the argument that they split.

What I personally feel is that because of the trauma, pain, and exhaustion the two of them were dealing with when the accords were just presented that they were even in a good healthy mindset to even begin dealing with any of it. Both were stressed, dealing with issues on all sides, and couldn't see past the black and white view of absolutes. Steve and Tony were stuck on a chest board as pawns and both were fighting to win. Only we know how this ends up going.

I am Team Captain America AND Team Iron Man.

Cause in the end they are still a team, and I don't pick sides of my team- I choose all of them.

Bonus~

As an added part to this post I wanted to share my thoughts on Steve lying to Tony about his parents. It was wrong and unjustified, yes but I'm not talking about that. That is a simple fact. I want to explain my view on Steve's reasoning for this decision: He wanted to protect both friends of his. He wanted to protect Bucky cause he was brainwashed and innocent, he didn't want him hurt or kill for it. He wanted to protect Tony cause already he was traumatized, beaten, and utterly exhausted from so much happening. He didn't want Tony to have another thing on his mind that could potentially cause him to snap a part.

In the end it didn't matter, Tony finds out and everything falls from there. Steve here, from my pov, is the people who have the purest intentions and want the best for us, but end up making decisions that only harm us in the end unintentionally. When we make choice that we think help, but don't.

In conclusion: Do I think one or the other is wrong? No, both are right and wrong for their own reasons- making the answer a more complicated discussion.

Do I think Steve or Tony deserves the bashing they get from either side of the conflict? No. They are fundamentally human characters who wanted to do the right thing but were blinded by their own issues and too twisted and turned to properly communicate things.

Should either one be hated for these choices they made? No. They made the choice they did but in the end worked to fix what had been ripped apart, doing their best to mend that scar. They were adults about it and made up while finally having a more healthier mental state to deal with everything.

Are both still my favorite characters and ship? Fuck yes.

#marvel #tony stark #steve rogers #stony #avengers assemble #avengers emh #team cap #team iron man #team captain #team ironman #marvel mcu

[centi-pedve]

been scouring the regretevator wiki cause i was curious (terrible wiki btw i am so sorry. one page has a citation that just links to some discord bullshit which people who are not in the server obviously cant see) anyways i am getting a terrible impression of the creator(?) and i would be interested in your thoughts on this business if youd be willing to share :3

oh goodness gracious... well we do have Some thoughts and we dunno if they match your own concerns since, we purposefully don't go out looking for whatever the creator has said but yeah even from a distance it's. Not looking good. (Already mentioned some of these before but for the sake of putting it in one place we'll be redundant)

definitely has his own takes on certain characters, headcanons, and the like. it was silly at first but as time went on and the more effort he put into pushing negativity over certain things the less fun it became. we think, if you want people to dislike a character, you try and make them dislikeable within the context of the story and then let people form those opinions. rather than being weird about the fact that there are still people who do like the character and punishing them by denying them the most basic things or even involving them in the story at all because Doesn't Deserve It. yes this is primarily about unple/asant

related but... too much of a reliance on telling stories with twitter or other unofficial platforms. did we learn nothing from the dumbledore is gay tweet. like a huge amount of information on the wiki that is very important to understanding the characters are just is NOT in the game, like if you played the game fully you'd still need to rely on the wiki to be able to participate in fandom. honestly a large part of that is why we're so biased towards certain characters! unple/asant and infe/cted are the only characters with lore and trivia and such that we've bothered to go on the wiki for and memorize. we've played the game for hours and hours but that doesnt mean much lol. once again, unple/asant especially, it literally DOESN'T TALK or participate in ANY of the active dynamic story because Doesn't Deserve It but there's still things to know about unple/asant and people who like the game just want something!! like dunno the overuse of social media in storytelling just makes it so much more unfun, we don't like how information is released and the fact that we need to rely on external material that... is sometimes taken back because the creator has gone on record Just Saying Shit. favorite example vv

Which is really funny considering it has 1 piece of dialogue on the game. So it can physically speak, and is also not "mewing 24/7" by result of having that dialogue (pretty sure the creator was just encouraged to say that without giving a fuck but, whatever). but the things that happen in game are second to the creator's twitter feed AMIRIGHTFELLAS

3. the,. the ableism. we've heard people tried to bring it up with the creator in the past and they were ignored so we feel comfortable mentioning it lol. bi/ve is a stereotype of someone who suffers from paranoia really, we mean we love her but... lol... and we will say it again pe/st should not canonically have npd or aspd. like omggg the evil character that robs people has two pds negatively stereotyped as belonging to evil people we're sure there was no bias in this decision. maybe we'd be less bothered if people didn't treat it as so serious and pretend to be cluster b allies like "you have to give him some understanding cuz he has aspd and npd 🥺" like no because he's evil, also maybe it wouldn't hurt to care about real people with those pds instead of a caricature. also the half-hearted throwing around of the word "mute" for unple/asant has been pointed out as ableist by a lot of people.

tldr uhhh wuhgghh NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK nobody get us (: nobody talk us...

#asks #good morning! (starts bitching

[stranger-rants]

i just don't understand the feminization of male characters. it doesn't make sense to me and maybe that's because i don't identify as lgbt so i'm not in the community or get their jokes but it's just hard for me to wrap my head around why 99% of the fandom insists that billy's girly. is it because he doesn't dress like a slob?

Well, LGBT is not an identity. It’s an acronym. Obviously - but I say this because lumping “LGBT” together is not necessarily beneficial. A person who is lesbian, gay, or bi doesn’t automatically understand what it’s like to be transgender or non-binary… and we’re talking about gender expression here, not attraction. Being transgender or non-binary may help you understand it better, but it’s not necessary.

“Babygirl Billy” as I’ve discussed has a specific meaning to me that isn’t necessarily about gender (I already made a post about it. I am not explaining again). It doesn’t directly translate to “girly” or “feminization,” but since you’ve brought those terms up I need to discuss things like gender expression, hegemonic masculinity, gender nonconformity, and so on…

I personally view Billy as having masculine and feminine traits. I think most people have a mix of these traits. Gender is a social construct that you are raised into by your society / culture. The society / culture you are raised in also has a hegemonic concept of what masculinity and femininity should look like. (e.g. Men must do x, not y in order to be men). Billy is abused for transgressing those boundaries.

There has always been a feminine side to Billy that he was never truly allowed to safely explore. A lot of men are denied this opportunity, and it causes them a lot of harm. If they dress too feminine, they are punished. If they express their emotions in a feminine manner, they are punished. And so on and so forth. This trauma makes them fearful of femininity / overcompensate with hypermasculinity.

That said, there are still ways that Billy expresses himself that do not fit into the hegemonic masculine mold. As a child there’s a noticeable switch from Billy wearing flowers on his clothes and being gentle to wearing very plain outfits that were meant to get dirty. Then as an older teen, we see him trying to balance a masculine façade with feminine interests like jewelry and perfume.

People can sit here and argue that, well, that’s just how men were in the 80s! …but no, the hegemonic masculine mold was still very much conservative in appearance as it still is today. Just because famous musicians could wear perfume and pierce their ears doesn’t mean your average boy wasn’t going to be called slurs for doing the same.

Remember that this is all a construct. Liking certain things that are gendered a certain way doesn’t mean you have to identify with that gender, unless you want to. However, it does mean living a certain way can code someone as gender non-conforming which is the way that many queer fans view Billy based on their own experience.

For some of us, Billy embracing his femininity is appealing as it addresses part of his trauma. He embodies a lot of his mother’s traits with the way he dresses and the way he reacts, but so many people treat Billy as a carbon copy of Neil. Neil represents hegemonic masculinity as he inflicts trauma onto Billy who very much tries to resist him in the way he can (e.g. how he dresses, acts, talks).

You don’t have to get it or agree with these interpretations, but using not “getting it” against people is where I draw the line. People making a problem out of those of us wanting to explore these aspects to a fictional character need to learn to mind their business, and that includes not putting up a stink or using “girly” or “feminization” in a derogatory way.

Overall, gender is a complicated spectrum. There are aspects of gender that are privileged, and aspects that are not. People who go out of gender bounds regardless of their gender identity experience trauma that could be resolved if we just allow people to express their gender in a more diverse way.

Anyone saying someone like Billy would hate it is really just saying he should hate it… because ultimately Billy is not real. The audience is projecting their thoughts and feelings about gender onto Billy. You take for granted that certain concepts of gender are more readily accepted, thus you don’t question masculine interpretations but you question feminine ones because it is unexpected.

#billy hargrove #babygirl billy #but it’s not really about that #asks

[dreamsofanenbysapphic]

becoming queer

read about this project on my website

view on my website (srsly check it out i figured out how to make the cursor trail sparkles)

when i started this project i was planning to write about gender, but i was surprised to find that most of what i've written about has been the platonic/romantic binary and how it doesn't make sense to me. there's also a theme here about not fitting into labels & the pressure to find the "right" one(s). (and i want to be clear that at this time i don't really like to use labels & don't want suggestions) but most importantly, there's a theme of love-your-friends-and-stop-worrying-about-being-too-gay. highly recommend

full text below:

Monday, March 29, 2010 So yesterday I found out what "lesbian" means I don't understand how girls think guys are "hot". I don't think girls are "hot" either. 5/10/11 part of me has already accepted the idea that I don't like boys and I kinda like girls part of me insists I'm not attracted to either but I don't think that part is right I might be asexual though September 2011 "it's fine if you're asexual I'm just against lesbians but I'd still be your friend if you were one" 11/17/2013 3:08 PM what qualifies love from love if gender is out of the question? [separate, undated entry] And then suddenly I started liking this other girl and now I like the two of them equally one is like anti-gay have no interest in ever having a boyfriend..... I don't think I get crushes on either boys or girls (if someone would define "crush" for me that might be helpful.) Fears 11/16/13 why do I have to fit under a label what if it's wrong? what if this is all in my head and I really am straight and I just haven't found "the right one" yet? 2/16/14 there is no coming out for me me without my definitive label 3/24/2014 2:04 PM It's hard for me to Find an identity When I don't quite fall Into your straightened categories We all know I am not male, But I am not a "woman" I am just I The artist, architect of words 7/7/2014 2:07 PM just because you know my secret on a legal document does not give you the right to change my identity 7 May 2014 Without the gender binary, or the belief that there are only two genders, gender becomes a very abstract concept and is difficult to define. 8 December 2014 I have been completely fascinated with gender socially constructed March 17th, 2015 what is romantic love? do I love this person romantically or platonically? maybe I was just too scared to be a lesbian, Now I'm like, I'm asexual but I just do not know what romantic love is and that is why I think I might be quoiromantic. What is in between? i don't know what my romantic orientation is because i am not romantically or platonically attracted to people but somewhere in the middle for a lot of people and what do i do 15 December, 2016 And if gender is permanent, how do we explain people whose gender changes throughout life? September 10th, 2016 you once said that you didn't think anyone would ever love you and i almost said that i already did September 12th, 2016 why can't everyone just be polyamorous? October 18th, 2016 11:11pm # internalized homophobia being Out. i'm not out. i love girls, okay? being misgendered constantly. it's so exhausting. i don't have the energy to have the gender 101 talk every. single. time. no one fucking cares about my special snowflake gender i think some people think i do it intentionally to make my life harder. i just want to be myself and i have so much dysphoria December 4th, 2016 i think i could be polyamorous March 4th, 2017 and i stopped saying 'no romo' because i still have so much internalized homophobia April 22nd, 2018 it's not just a level of how much I love someone but also how emotionally connected to them I feel, and how much I want to spend time with them.. and how much I trust them I don't know if I can categorize this as romance but I definitely want it to be equivalent in importance to a romantic relationship, and I just feel like too many people think my experience isn't real June 13th, 2019 I feel like I'm starting to understand a reality where I don't need to assign everyone into two categories because they are just social constructs I feel romantic toward my friends because I love them, but that doesn't mean that we're going to be Married and Monogamous I don't know if I am also polyamorous or if I only think I'm polyamorous because I feel so disconnected, experiencing the world this way, but I think it opens a door to a whole new world to allow myself to fully love my friends

#quoiromantic #arospec #amatonormativity #queer poetry #queerplatonic #nebula writes #on my website i have a whole little essay written about this project and the themes i see in it #i really hope this resonates with some other people #and if it does you might like some of the other resources and writing about the platonic/romantic binary that i've gathered #i also hope no one responds to this post with “you might be x label” #posting this in the middle of the night and have already found one big typo so there may be more

[dryemiddi]

I know you've probably gotten this a couple times. But as you're probably aware, the original creator of Vantablack was diagnosed with DID, where Vanta was present as a fictive alter. Vanta, alongside other alters, were the ones grooming and sexually abusing minors and adults alike. I won't say the host, or the original creator you knew, was innocent, but most of the problems arose from his alters.

Being that Vanta was a major abuser, and possibly a lot of his victims are becoming aware of this revival of project, is it possible that you could make and design your OWN Ink/Nightmare fusion, to spare them from triggering content? It would be in theirs, and your, best interests to consider doing so. Don't subject people to a sore reminder of their traumas. You've already removed most of the other characters created by the original creator, so why not the one who was centred in the drama surrounding the grooming and abuse thanks to a fictive of him? Please. As a friend to a few who were victims, I just want to ask if you hear me.

I do hear you. And I recognize the victims that we're affected by J's actions. But I also recognize the grey complexity of this current situation, at least in how it pertains to myself and my decisions here. I see Vanta (the character) and Vanta (the fictive) as very separate in nature; one of them is a real person who is responsible for their own actions. I've never properly met the fictive and I know very little about him besides the news of what he did (and honestly I'm very grateful for that). Perhaps the closest I've ever gotten to interacting with him was when J had a hostile meltdown in front of me after announcing my pull of my work from the old project (I was later told that it was Vanta who had that meltdown, but I'm unable to confirm it). I was never groomed. But that does not mean that I don't hold a large share of trauma that stemmed from my interactions with J. My memory of my time with him is foggy, perhaps repressed, but it's clear to me that he's left a sizeable negative imprint on my psyche-- if my innate fear towards him (even before hearing the news of what happened) is anything to go off of.

I do know that, at least for a while, I considered him to be my only friend. And knowing what I know now -and the fact that I am the same age as one of the victims- that scares me in ways I cannot even begin to describe. Does that make me a victim in some sense? I'm unsure. There is no simple or straight answer here, as there is with a lot of what I am and will be talking about. I don't want to force a simple conclusion out of all of this. I don't want to make this situation black and white: because it simply isn't. That would ultimately be a disservice to me fully processing the events that did occur. (Ironically enough, J wasn't the one out of the admins to leave me with the most trauma, but that's its own complicated story that I will save for another day.) Now Vanta, as a character, I still hold dear to my heart. I was responsible for designing him (both his initial and updated designs), as well as co-writing and coming up with major parts of his character. I see Vanta no different to any character I created entirely on my own, seeing as I was the second largest contributor to his character. It sort of just made sense to me to take him under my wing after what happened. For better or for worse, I can't bring myself to replace him. Perhaps I'm just stubborn or too sentimental for my own good. I love Vanta, in spite of everything J has done. And I want to give people the chance to enjoy Vanta without all that horrific baggage-- and that includes myself. I am willing to make an accommodation or two, however. As a compromise, I am willing to give Vanta a redesign (no drastic changes, unfortunately) as to further dissociate him with his past iterations. I also will aim to give my own spin to Vanta's personality to some extent. It isn't much, but it is something I am willing to do if it helps. If people are still uncomfortable with Vanta (especially victims), I certainly don't blame them. That being said, it is their job to curate their online experience to best suit their individual needs, whether that's ignoring posts, blocking tags, or even unfollowing me entirely. I'll respect that decision, as I ask that they respect my decision in turn, whether they agree with it or not. . I am thankful that you were able to approach me about this in a respectful manner. I applaud you for that. It's nice to be able to have a civil discussion about tricky topics such as this, as many are quick to be reactionary towards things they don't agree with. If you have more to say/ask and would like to, anon, my DMs are open.

#ask #anon #anonymous #AccidentVerse #Vantablack #glad to have that off my chest haha #sorry for how long the response is #I never left AV because I wanted to #it was more for my own safety really #But I never stopped loving the characters #in spite of it all #AV holds a special little place in my heart and I hope I can tell a fun story or two for everybody #tw: grooming mention #oh also I'm no longer using Admixverse as a name for it haha #well I only tagged it such so people so people that only knew the mv as axv would be aware #but i never was involved with axv #so that was my bad

[ramayantika]

I just remembered something. Now like most lower middle class children, I was also the one brought up with hindi movies, songs and ofc hindi serials. Now, I was all 12 when for the first time i was studying in one of those posh schools in kolkata. The area where the school wasn't that posh but the children definitely were. Bmws, businessmen, surgeons doctors, club owners, ameeron ke bache.

So i have met showoff kids who show their money and status discreetly like they will be your friends, give you notes, share tiffin but also in a way show you that you aren't rich. And i also met some realy rich kids who could afford partying at expensive hotels, but God they were so humble and down to earth.

That was when I had learnt how to fit in. Now my friends were the ones who from the start watched English comedies, knew the lyrics to English pop songs and watched web series.

For me the concept of web series, Netflix etc started in kolkata when I was 13-14. I would see the photos of their colonies and all and would go damn I want to live like them too.

Now to fit in I began watching those English movies and songs I trained my ears to understand the words because for the first time when you hear them it feels like a rap song at least that's what it was for me. Soon after a couple of months I learnt how to understand those lyrics without captions and stuff and could sing that. In free periods in my old schools we used to sing hindi songs retro to modern, here it went bieber, ed Sheeran, Taylor and all those. I went with the same now. I remember ny 8th grad winter vacation where I was learning their lyrics.

Now my friend had invited me to her birthday party. My brother was anyway angrez from rhe start so everyone consented to watch some old English comedy series

And boy I felt so awkward because I saw them clutching their stomach and laughing while there was me trying to find where was the joke -

I only focused on having 2 pieces of pizza for that entire show lol. I trained how to pick up English songs but not the jokes.

Somehow I ended up liking no loving 1d which started out again as a way to fit in with the others and now I have fell out of it.

You know being with them around them I too wanted to live their kinda lifestyle. Rich homes, big rooms, parties and events, those clothes and stuff, money outings. I was young and kehte hai na bahar ka dekh ke chaka chaundh hona?

But now I have lost all that interest I once had. Sure I want money and a good lifestyle but not that. Now that I am growing I see how many of them are shallow on the inside. With money clothes parties they don't see anything beyond it it's like a glittery cover on the outside.

And once again I found myself after I was separated from the school and the community. I can't enjoy Friends Or The Office. I cannot understand those sit coms shows like they must be good but not something for me. Taylor and other pop singers and other ones I do find them interesting and ofc talented in their respective fields, but yeah that's not for me.

I actually like this lower middle class life. I have been brought up living with uncertainty and maybe that's why I was taught to live in the present. For some time it was good in those bright rich homes, rich friends, shine and sparkles, but I feel much at home with niche baith ke khana, local dukano mein shopping aur hindi serials ka mazak bannate huye bhi aage ke episodes pe hooked rehna. Many of my friends ask me why are you so devi dharmik types because you talk about gods, wear Indian clothes and are all traditional when the world is advancing india too.

Bhai these are my roots my values and the way I was brought up. There's nothing wrong in either of those lifestyles. Mera gaon kahin andar odisha mein hai papa mere jis gaon school se the vahan ab tak bijli nahi aati. I like this simplicity that we live with. And dharmik devi stuff isn't my entire personality meri choice hai I don't like going out to parties and clubs and go around calling every boy and girl my bestie, babes, darling when I see them only once.

And middle class vale bich ke phasse hote hai ameer bhi gareeb bhi dono inme hai. You learn many things while growing up in a middle class family.

Bahut gyan de diya mein jaati ab padhne

#samridhi speaks #desiblr #just some middle class things

[ryker-writes]

Hi! I don't know if this counts as a request or not but I was reading the rules and saw that you write about yourself in twst so I got curious. Where you teleported into their world like the main mc or are you there from the beginning? What dorm would you like to be in and what dorm would you actually be sorted in? Who would be your best friends?

I'm sorry for any grammatical mistakes. Thank you for the good writing it give me energy and I hope you have a good day,night or any other time you are currently in.🥰❤

Writing this one immediately because this is the first person to ask about the me in TWST thing. Also I don't really consider this as a request because it's writing me and not other characters. It's easier to write and I enjoy it a lot. Thank you so much my darling anon for the ask and thank you for your kind words! I'm super happy that my writing gives you energy and you enjoy it! Hearing that makes me so much happier than you can imagine. Thank you <3

If anyone has any more asks about this I would be very happy to write it but I understand this isn't as interesting-

Request rules and Masterlists

Me in Twisted Wonderland

I've been in Twisted Wonderland from the beginning!

I come from the northern part of the Shaftlands, the same area that Jack grew up in

It's very snowy and cold with a few mountains there

because of this, I'm a big fan of the cold and snow and the cold doesn't bother me that much

me and Jack have met before and we've hung out, but we weren't really close and didn't spend a whole lot of time together

I always liked to play in the snow and he often played with his siblings so occasionally we would play together

I'm not super athletic or sporty tho so I never went snowboarding

As for dorms, I would like to be in either Diasomnia because it's so cool

but I would be placed in Heartslabyul

I'm someone who memorizes and follows rules pretty well and I tend to be pretty strict with myself and how I do

I'm not someone who will break the Queen of Hearts rules often

and usually I aim to get pretty good grades in all my classes

because of this I would have a decent friendship with Riddle

I'm not sure if we'd be best friends, but we would have an okay friendship

Ruggie, Idia, and Silver would be my best friends

If I see Ruggie wanting food, I'd definitely give some of mine to him and he's pretty fun to talk to

I also try to help him with his errands for Leona when I can

Ruggie is like the one I can ramble on for hours with about random things going on around the school

he also has the latest gossip from around the school and I love to hear it

Idia and me get along really well

both of us play video games, watch anime, and watch horror

me and him play video games together and just lose track of time

how is it 1AM already??

honestly we could both go on for hours about video games and anime's and will likely not stop unless someone stops us

Ortho probably does just so we can sleep or something

Most likely me and Idia have had a few sleepovers because we stayed up too late playing video games and just crash

Silver and me are also pretty good friends

I tend to get anxious pretty often but Silver's presence is very calming

him just being near me would be calming

some people are pretty intimidating to me but with Silver around I don't feel as worried

Silver is very easy to talk to as well and I feel pretty comfortable around him

anytime I see him asleep, I'm finding something that I can use as a makeshift pillow

usually a jacket or sweatshirt bunched up works

I also try to help him with things he's supposed to be doing when he's sleeping

like taking notes or whatever task Lilia asked him to do

In school, my favorite subject has to be potions

I've always found that kind of thing cool and really interesting so it would be the most fun class to me

My worst subject is definitely PE

I am not athletic at all and sports really aren't my thing

Vargas definitely gets on my nerves about it all

As for clubs, I'm a part of the board games club with Idia and Azul

it's what I'm most interested in out of the options and I like board games

While Idia and Azul have opposite opinions on if they prefer strategy or luck based games, I prefer games that use both

speaking of Azul

in my mind we would be academic rivals

there wouldn't be anything that really prompts this other than the fact that he's really smart

it's a very unspoken thing and I'm not sure if he's even aware of it

It's just a need in my brain to get a grade that's equal to him in everything or above

even I have no idea why

#twisted wonderland #twst #self insert #twst ryker #twisted wonderland ryker

[congregamus]

Spiritual Glow-Up (unserious)

I have been going through it lately. I don't know if I've talked about it here, but I fought fiercely with my parents on Thanksgiving. We haven't spoken since, and I'm relying on my niece for reports regarding whether or not they are willing to participate as compassionate humans, or if they're going to opt instead (AGAIN) for just being Chrischun 'Merikuns.

I have had to come to some peace over the last week+ that I do not now nor never have had a deep relationship with them. We have history. And that's just going to have to serve as my act of reconciliation there.

Because I have been going through it so, I have upped my contemplation game this week. Last night I went as deep into meditation as I ever have. Visions of a sort. Fairly direct communication between otherwise seemingly-contradictory modes of being. At one point in my spiritual development, this would have been so world-shattering that I would have spent weeks incorporating this experience, failing to give it language, meanwile being so afraid to talk about it because I thought I might be in danger of "folks" deciding I belonged in a mental institution.

[To that end, I will confess something. I am surprised to be in some communicative relationship with The Name pre-Exile (which is my respectful way of referring to the surprisingly sexy levantine diety who started relating to humans as a fairly standard Lord-Commander before his career took off and he became first the High God of the Hebrew People, but who eventually became God/God the Father/ Allah, whose Name is unspeakable).

A while back, HE (yes, definitely HE) showed up in my meditation (like gods do with me sometimes, much to my delight and horror) and asked for an offering. To say that I was not interested is mostly true. I was NOT interested in what I perceived (at the time) to be a VERY misogynist deity. I WAS interested in why we were relating this way when this deity, adored by 3.8 billion people in some form or another, had come essentially rattling a can in my direction. As it turns out, this is just not a very common form, and He wants some attention in this form. Perhaps he's trying to go back to his roots and I'm giving off some kind of vibe that seems interested. Who can say? Not me. I brought up the issue of nomenclature ( "Yes that is one of my names; of course you may call me that." / "I have friends that I couldn't look in the eye if I did." ), and "Dad/Daddy" was suggested as a subsitute. (Needless, to say I was surprised, but also thrilled, because this gives me some ground, however slight, upon which I may stand when praying the Our Father, with which I have had long-standing inner problems.)

Naturally, I suggested that that word was complicated for me, and shared—just in case this aspect is not entirely omniscient—why. I also suggested that those terms are awfully intimate for us, and that, because I'm a gayfaggot, those words are loaded, and I got back a very clear, "I know." There was a smirk in the tone, too, so no matter how heterosexual The Name Pre-Exile might seem, He's apparently straight but not that straight. For myself, though my sexuality isn't really as permeable as lots of my identification points are, I too am a boundary-dweller, so I have room for things being this-and-that-too.]

Anyway, as I was re-entering 3-4D space/"agreed-upon reality" after my extended contemplative prayer, I was given the grace to be reminded of just that. Whatever we may wish to call these erstwhile encounters, what before I would have called theophanies (though they are that too), counterintuitively, these are increased in their efficacy by "degrading" them and allowing them merely to be encounters. They shock at the level they need to shock.

Otherwise, it is very very interesting that my reconciliation with "Daddy" (what other people call The Lord God / God the Father) coalesces very closely and in retrograde inversion with my refusal to compromise for the sake of peace with the person whom I have called "Dad/Daddy" my whole life.

I assume the Before/After "pictures" of my spiritual "glow up" are quite striking, but I am specifically against idolatry, insisting as I do upon what is real and in constant flux.