#people also tend to say hurtful things and im easily hurt and then split on them cause i dont want to be hurt by someone i love constantly

[nezzling]

Are there any ex’s/sexual partners you wouldn’t be opposed to trying again with? Basically, was any one of them a right person, wrong time scenario.

Sounds like someone who has been to heaven is feeling melancholic over falling back to earth. Did I cut off your wings, little angel? What atrocities did you commit that led to being cast out? Or was I just a little bit of a vengeful god that day, I wonder...

#im not sure if there is a right person for me regardless of the timing #it should be two people trying to make things work but its always so one sided no matter what happens #and since ive had so many short term or one nights its just a hard question cause i dont know if i knew many of them well #people tend to mask until they sleep with or date me and then they stop trying and it hurts #people also tend to say hurtful things and im easily hurt and then split on them cause i dont want to be hurt by someone i love constantly #i suppose id be more inclined to someone that i had been the reason it fell apart than someone who hurt me cause id be scared of a repeat #not to say its an impossibility for me to be inclined to someone who hurt me cause i am kind and forgiving to a fault #my forgiving nature is often taken advantage of and im always called naive for my history of second chances #i hate being called naive more than anything else but if ive loved someone that love never fully goes away #thats just me as a walking love machine i guess #asks

[krotosis]

alice, ever since i’ve held witness to nothingness, i can’t see life the same way anymore.

thinking seems to have split from it’s roots and now only revolves around pattern-seeking and contrast theories. resilience is honestly my only redeemable trait, but that can easily convert to stubbornness, so whos to say? sin tends to line every choice of mine, its fucking disgusting. you’d think i would’ve learnt my lesson by now. gross sickly slimy incapable child

when i was little, my step-dad would often shoot birds. he’d aim for families, try to take them out in one shot. i’d cry but it didn’t deter him. another dwindling bit of irony, i managed to cry for birds but not for his victims. i was a child, its fine, whatever. it’s honestly stupefying the fact he bought an illegally imported weapon just to fucking kill birds, what a cunt

but it’s fine, it’s all fine.

because nothingness is bliss.

in the mildest way my mind could process the ‘experience’, it was the kindest thing to ever happen and simultaneously not happen to me. it was beautiful, the way my mind remembers something that never occurred is so beautiful. it’s calming, it’s grounding, because it’s true, it’s real. i’d be blessed to stay that way, even if my sore rotting mind becomes incapable of remembering.

i can only wish for similar fates for everyone i care about. Alice, you don’t UNDERSTAND how fucking amazing it is. It’s so fucking beautiful I cant put it into words, and I never tried to, not in-person anyway.

people like my step-father are exactly reasons why nothingness is gorgeous. his actions exist as one, the man who happily made us breakfast in the morning, the first man child me dared to trust after EVERYTHING that happened and then simultaneously being a creepy stalker, abusive murderer if not months later. I knew he was bad, but not that bad, violence is just a part of life, can i really ..?????????? i dont know. i will never justify him. i didn’t care when it was just violence because it bred money and money was what we needed the most

my cat came back today! i wasn’t sure if he was hurt after the recent snow. i was going to go out looking for him, i dont even know what to comment about that. OBVIOUSLY i was gonna look for him but also,, not so obviously you know? maybe i was just telling myself i would do it and then never do? i waited 2 days with barely an afterthought so? how can i be sure that makes me a redeemable person? maybe i was just lying? how should i know т_т i need something to make me feel feelings that are more exact, precise, maybe then ill feel like i used to again

i replayed the arcana today! i nearly cried at the nostalgia, fictional worlds are so picturesque, why is real life so dull and bitter +_+ but i have to keep going !! its the gift !! some gift !! that i will never fully understand!!!!!!! but im meant to keep going anyway !!

relationships in media are so bitter. perfect friendships, lost and found and family and trust, things irl always work out but they never *work out*. theres never some adventure, just grisly grappling with your circumstances; you come out of it “okay, i guess” and that’s the best story you’ll have for decades. the fact theres no after to an end, just continuous days and days and days with days and days and days worth of issues is paralysing. it just doesn’t stop

i wish i could stop time. the closest thing i’d have to that nothingness. if i could, i’d just sleep, finally sleep GOOD sleep for the first time. i want to wake up feeling refreshed, i want to sleep feeling safe, knowing everything is still around me. time doesn’t pass, im free of its constraints. no what where when, sun rising night falling, next day 3am 4am 7, just me and me. nothing but me and warmth of my bed. my whole family is safe, they are safe because everything is incapable of being otherwise. even if being actively attacked, that victim is left to linger in never-fleeting moments, peace and solidity for once. time is cruel, but i don’t want to bore you with overused metaphors so i’m sure you can interpret it yourself.

so pessimistic today

your regretful childhood friend,

they miss you

[angelguk]

what happens in this section is entirely a result of what guys voted please do not! come for my head in my inbox im begging. very sad in general like Angst with a capital A with a sprinkle of despair and pain. listen to mess it up by gracie abrams. roughly 2k.

(titled — out of line)

You thought Lucas would help, the warmth of his body a distraction from your aching heart, but he didn’t. Not the way you needed him to. He was sweet enough, made you giggle endlessly before finding his place between your thighs. But even with his tongue on your clit, your (now usually sober) mind still lingered on Jeongguk, his memory a stain on your soul. It didn’t help when you spotted him with a girl hanging off his arm, her bright eyes stuck on his face, soaking him in like the earth does the sun. You didn’t know her name – Chayoung took the liberty of whispering it to you after your biology lab. She was Hyeri, a sophomore with a delicate laugh and graceful disposition. That vile vindictive black thing that now inhabited your chest swelled, brain already comparing the differences between you and her. Your clumsiness suddenly felt like a curse, even though Jeongguk had countlessly said he loved you for it (or did he say that just to ease your worries?). Insecurities spring forth like weeds and you don’t have the capacity to keep the careful garden of your heart tended. 

They take over slowly, your eyes stinging whenever you see them huddled together in the quad. Bitter tears blinked back, your blinkered senses overlooking how Jeongguk’s quiet gaze followed your figure whenever you turned your back to him, even with Yoona yapping at his ears. 

Perhaps the despondency that clung to your bones is what led you here, face planted in the musky scent of Namjoon’s sheets, your heart throbbing funny. 

“Can you even breathe?” He questions. The timbre of his voice washes over you, familiar and somewhat reassuring. You twist upright to face him, eyes squeezing tight when the bright fluorescent lights in his room assaults your vision. 

“I was hoping my heart would give up if I held it in long enough.”

Namjoon stills, brown eyes flitting over you. He coughs like he’s working through various sets of words before he decides what’s most suitable. “And then what? I get framed for murder when they find your body here?”

You laugh, and it hurts. “Maybe. My body is very portable though, did you consider first burying me in the backyard?”

“Rookie mistake,” Namjoon returns. He rises to fetch the mugs of tea sitting idle on a stool he’d dragged from the corner of his room. “The sniffer dogs would fly straight to that location. Also, I’d have to dig a hole big enough to fit your head in.”

“And why would the dogs find me immediately?” You say, shuffling upright, palms ready to receive the tepid heat that will seep through the ceramic the moment the cup settles in your hand.

“Your perfume,” Namjoon says. He hands you the mug, heat fulfilling its chosen purpose, the scent of gentle jasmine wafting to your nose.

You pout then, glancing at him. “My perfume?”

“It’s distinct. Violet, right? Maybe vanilla too?” Namjoon says it easily, sinking beside you, utterly unaware of the ticking in your brain. Your gaze falters then, shifting to his broad shoulder and thick biceps. The ivy shirt he’s got on barely contains all that muscle in, fabric stretched thin. 

You take a sip of your tea, and despite the period Namjoon gave it to cool it still scalds your tongue. 

“Why do you know what fragrance I wear?” It comes out accusatory, but Namjoon handles it well, laughing low.

“You’ve had the same one since high-school, I think. And I remember you telling me.”

The fingers around your cup squeeze tight, your brain unlocking a moment you’d forgotten in the wake of brighter ones. A quiet afternoon at the back of your high-school, Namjoon towering over you, his nose trailing the hollow of your neck, a stray comment about how you smelled good washing over you. It was followed by a flustered younger version of you deflecting, heart pounding wild when Namjoon drew back to look at you as you rattled off the different sillages that made up your favourite perfume. He’d laughed, low like did just now, before calling you cute and pulling you in for a kiss. 

“Oh,” you finally murmur. “I remember now.”

You were actually going to change it after your break-up with him, but then Jeongguk had mentioned how much he’d liked it and the bottle had stayed.

Namjoon hums, his gaze slow as it shifts around the room. It’s a space that screams of him, light wood tones and plants breaking from the pristine white walls. Space carved for nature, a grounding sensation living within these four walls – something that seems to live inside of Namjoon too.

“How are you?” He suddenly asks, turning slowly to measure your features. 

You blink hard, only realising then that you’d been staring at his face for a second too long. “F-fine. I’m okay. Just busy, y’know. Finals coming up, planning events; the usual.”

“I know,” Namjoon says with a ginger smile. “But that’s not what I’m asking. How are you? With Jeongguk and everything.”

“Oh.” You can’t answer that, his unexpected brazenness shocking your system. The smile on his lips fades, a solemnness in the brown of his eyes. His next words are earnest, and they settle in the pit of your stomach.

“Y/N, I know you didn’t just come here to chat for no reason. We can talk about Jeongguk, that’s okay.”

“N-no, we don’t need it. We’re over. It’s been two months already. We’re seeing other people and I don’t really want to discuss one of my exes with another one. And maybe I did just come to see you,” you tack on an empty laugh at the end, hoping Namjoon doesn’t read right through you.

But he does. Like a part of you hoped he would.

“I’m your friend, you know. We had something but nothing like what you and Jeongguk have. Two months isn’t going to make a lifetime disappear. It’s okay if you still feel bad.”

That’s what cracks you, a well-aimed hammer knocking your walls right down. You bite your lip hard, fingertips pinching the ceramic in your grasp, and swallow the tears looming in your throat with a choked laugh. 

“I’m fine, Namjoon. I feel a little like shit but I’m working on it. And Lucas is a great guy–”

“But he’s not Jeongguk.” The sentence feels heavy as if it carries the weight of many hearts on it. But it’s also a line you were thinking about earlier, even with Lucas pressed against you.

“That’s not what I would say–”

“But it’s what you were thinking,” Namjoon cuts. Maybe there’s a peephole in your head that only Namjoon has access to. “And that’s fine. It sucks for Lucas, though. But you shouldn’t feel bad for thinking that way. Especially when you know how special Jeongguk is to you.”

Special. The word is bright, glimmering like Jeongguk’s eyes do. 

“I-I just–it just–I don’t know.” The tears you’d attempted to seal inside burst, slipping down your cheeks quiet. Namjoon pry's the mug from your hand, replaces its warmth with his own, and for a split second things feel bearable. 

“Hey, hey,” he murmurs, a calloused palm on your damp cheek, his steadiness clearing away the gloomy skies in your head. But he doesn’t tell you to stop crying, doesn’t whisper that it’ll be okay. He just tugs you closer, rests your splinting head on his wide chest, and soaks up the tears on your face with his shirt. Like the earth does for the pouring heavens. 

You eventually hiccup the despair down, finding the words to explain to Namjoon what you were feeling in between the moments where breathing didn’t feel like a race. He takes the news of Jeongguk kissing somebody days after your break-up with wide eyes, his eyebrows drawing together. And then comes the second girl, you don’t even know her name but it still cleaves something out of you. And finally, Hyeri. Her name is a lament.

“And it sucks because he looks happy with her and I still want him to be happy because I still love him. I love him so much it hurts.”

Namjoon cocks his head then, his wide palm sliding down your back. “You think Jeongguk looks happy?”

“Yes?” But it’s a question, your upward gaze on his face imploring.

Namjoon shakes his head instead. You don’t hear it, the following words a deep muffled murmur, “Both of you are idiots.” But you see the twinkle in his eyes and it makes your back straighten.  

You want to pester but Namjoon pulls you closer, and you lose yourself in the feeling of him, before a question can register on your tongue. His arms are huge, like sturdy branches defying the blistering gales of your heart. He lets you cry for a little longer, listening intently to the continuing spew of words from your lips, until the storm quiets into a breeze. 

“Okay?” Namjoon asks.

You stick your head further into his chest, breathe him in deep. “Okay.”

When he shifts away your skin freezes, but then you realise he’s reaching for a blanket. He swathes it around you fondly, pulling you in for a swift hug before falling out of your reach once more. 

“Now, I think we both need a moment to process that.” He’s talking about but you’re not listening, your eyes on his face, gaze gently trailing the curve of his lips. “I also think we need food before we start unpacking the mess you’re in–”

You swallow the sentence with your lips, salt singeing the corners of your mouth. But your movements are not reciprocated, Namjoon’s mouth is still under yours. The soft hand on your neck guiding you away is what pulls you back, right out of that strange dark desperate ocean that held you. 

“Y/N–”

“Sorry, shit–shit, I shouldn’t have done that.” But there’s no use now, you can’t take it back. Namjoon is looking at you with those eyes, the ones that feel like pity. His sympathy suddenly makes you feel sick, and you wish the ceiling would give away and shatter your head. “I should go.” 

He tries to stop you, firm but gentle with his words and hands. But you’re a wild storm again and nothing can stop you from snatching your butterfly tote bag from the floor of his room and fleeing. The black thing that had been subdued for a moment reemergence with vengeance the second you hit the sidewalks, vision reeling. How could you do that? To Namjoon? To the stable friendship you'd created? But he felt too warm, too caring, too much of everything that you longing for and that Lucas could never give you.

Just a reminder of the swimmer's name as you skidding to a halt, the thump in your chest vicious. Maybe Jeongguk was right. Constantly painting yourself the victim while actively hurting the ones around you. Maybe you should have never let him kiss you again on that rooftop. Maybe you should have never tried to love him.

—

It’s silent in your head when you get back to your apartment. Sieun is home, finally back from her trip to her boyfriend’s parents place, so you’re not surprised to hear the soft hum of laughter filtering through the house. You don’t expect to find Chayoung there though. 

They’re huddling in the kitchen, drifting out cheery greetings when you trudge it, only to fall silent when you mumble back a hollow response. A gentle song floating from the radio fills the empty space, three bodies navigating something tense.  

“Were you with Lucas?” Sieun eventually pokes. She’s not a big fan of him. She’s not a big fan of the current break-up between you and Jeongguk either. She’s going to hate you for what you’re about to tell her.

“No,” you mumble. There are twenty notifications flashing across your phone screen, all from Namjoon. You feel sick, and you might cry again.

“Well? What’s with the long face?” Chayoung adds. 

You take a deep breath, gripping the marble counter tight before twisting around. Better to rip it off all at once right? And there’s no way you could hold this inside of you, not when there is barely any room for your broken heart.

“I kissed Namjoon.”

“WHAT?” Sieun’s jaw slams into the ground and Chayoung freezes beside her, like her joints have suddenly been welded together. They stare at you for long you might have grown a second head during it. And then the questions come, a torrent erupting. You blank for a second, and then the guilt crawls up your spine. It may only be thirteen past five in the afternoon but you definitely need a drink.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook drabble #bts x reader #i said this was gonna tomorrow but my brain said tonight so here we are #nobody ask me how we're gonna come back from this #this is ur fault!! #bts angst #jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic

[local-jester]

DO YOU HAVE MARX HEADCANONS!!!!!!?!?!?’v?????????? please

QSWEFREWQERT

HELL YEAH I DO. (im glad someone finally asked me for my utter brainrot)

(im sorry this caught me off gaurd and made me laugh)

(this will be long, as you may or not be aware of ricopop i do not shut the fuck up about this grape and these hcs are from two years of obsession and brainrot)

LETS BEGIN

regular headcannons: marx some what regrets milky way wishes but tends to hide it with mischievous actions.

he's still a little shit at times but has gotten more behaved and wants to change his past but knows he cant

he loves playing/messing with kirby and kinda pretends to hate him.

smug bitch at times

he kinda acts like a cat sometimes and will purr when petted or playing.

he goes through phases of extreme hunger and becomes demonic like (kinda terrifying)

he can use the claws on his wings as replacement hands

(he likes sweets and desserts obviously)

species headcannons: scarfy/noddy hybrid

age headcannon: 15-20 (teenager to young adult)

relationship headcannons: magolor is his friend (i won't yeet my ships into here but lover would be mag's too) he's aqquainted with taranza,susie and the other dream friends except the mages.

he likes king dedede, hates mk, okay with kirby but pretends to hate his guts, indifferent on bandee.

other hcs: marx has a chewing problem so magolor bought him a chew toy (i said this in a insane ramble a few days ago)

he has an issue with sitting still.

he tends to get nervous alot when he feels stressed and will chew on his claws or fiddle with them/his bowtie

he can't control his magic sometimes

his wings are bit sensitive due to being unatural so touching them sometimes may hurt him

his tongue is long

he eats food either by normal method or saying fuck it and splitting himself in half and eating it like that (blackhole)

when he's lonely he'll try and find magolor and force him to play by teleporting or attacking his cape by pouncing on it.

he forgot which beachballs explode.

he's surprisinly interested in science, math, reading and technlogical stuff but doesn't wanna make that stuff himself.

he loves drawing though it's hard for him. but he tries.

hates baking now. (refer to one of the most recent offcial channel ppp artworks poor thing is stuggling)

(refer to older posts for the eye headcannons)

he likes flowers. mostly just likes looking at them. he likes things that look cool or interesting.

{refer to older posts for the whole fiddling thing full explanation}

marx is kinda shy of strangers but his jester attitude makes him a little braver

he puts on a persona.

he acts very child-like at times but hates being treated like a kid.

he loves affection but he seems too scary due to his past so magolor satisfies all his affection needing needs.

after milky way wishes marx was a bit mentally damaged and people were afraid of him which made him very depressed.

he's the one who got magolor to (return to dreamland plot)

he can see in the dark and his eyes glow.

he's kinda scared of purely dark places so he uses his wings to light up places.

(he also uses them as a night light)

the wings crystals/scales brightness depend on how much energy he has.

romance makes marx shy/nervous and seeing couples kissing is icky to him.

he likes giving gifts to friends.

he tends to take advantage of peoples fear of him by tricking them or making them do things for him hence why nobody still truly trusts him.

he gets angry easily at times

he still loves tricks and pranks.

lego fun for him

he sucks at conversation somtimes

magolor has lost alot of things as marx when he likes someone to get their attention he'll steal things from them.

he likes stealing

marx wants to make friends but doesn't know how and due to peoples fear of him he can't

he likes to dress up sometimes and is indecisive.

(i think i'll stop for now.. lmao. there's so much qwq)

#marx #headcannons #marx headcannon #jester is rambling again #jester's insane rambles #ask response #sorry not sorry

[palmett-hoes]

which of the foxes do you think get tattoos in the future?? and like what tattoos??? ive been thinking abt andrew possibly getting tattoos but then idk if it would fit him??? idk lol

hmm i'm of mixed mind on this one tbh. on the one hand, i’m a Huge Slut for tattoos and body mods. ik yall have never seen me bc ive never posted a selfie but i have a bunch of piercings and a couple tattoos myself. on the other hand im sorta iffy at best on if i think andrew would get them

piercings are definitely a hard no for him. as someone who plays a contact sport (with a helmet!) and gets into fistfights, he’d basically have to be a goddamn moron to have peircings, which he isn’t. though actually i do hc that he has a split lobe because when he was in high school he pierced his own ear, then had it torn out in a fight later and almost took half his ear with it. no more after that

in terms of tattoos... i can basically only think of reasons why he wouldn’t get them, in all honesty. they require having a stranger touch you for an extended period of time, often times having to remove clothes to do it, which is a big ol’ no-no for him

more than that tho, tattoos are... personal. they say something about you, about who you are, what you value. even the most meaningless tattoo conveys a message about you, even if it’s just your sense of humor or an art style you like. i tend to be a little cagey about really going in depth about what my tattoos mean, because they represent things that are very personal and also very vulnerable to say out loud, and of course i’m not obligated to explain them to anyone, but they are,,, exterior. other people can see them. people can ask me about them

andrew is an intensely private person. he’s rarely been able to keep things that are meaningful in his life, most of them get taken away from him, and a lot of them have been used against him. he’s learned to be very guarded about what information about himself he shares, down to the littlest details. for this reason, especially because i’m familiar with the vulnerable feeling of having something personal on my skin for other people to see,even if  they don’t know what it means, i,,,,, have a very hard time seeing andrew with tattoos, from the standpoint of character analysis

that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear, sorry

i can definitely see it being different for other foxes, though

neil for instance i can see getting tattoos for basically the same but opposite reason of why i can’t see andrew getting them

like,,, even just about their scars and the possibility of them getting covered by tattoos. i can see neil wanting to get it done but i can’t see andrew wanting it

for andrew, his scars serve a purpose to him. he did them to himself and he choose to do it in order to exert control on himself to psychologically survive a time when he didn’t have control over anything else. they’re honestly a mark of strength for him. he covers them not because he’s ashamed of them but because they’re something personal to him, and he doesn’t think that strangers should be able to have access to that information about him so easily

with neil, yes his scars are also a sign of strength and survival, but neil himself doesn’t really view them that way. he hides them not only because they’re identifiable, but because they honestly trigger him. they’re more of a reminder of other people hurting him and hunting him and making him powerless than they are a reminder of him resisting and triumphing

i think if he covered them with tattoos it would function as a reclamation of his body. it’s not an attempt to erase his history, because the scars would still be there, but he could cover them with something that reminds him of being strong rather than something that reminds him of being weak

not to mention, neil - unlike andrew - does have a desire to be seen, he just also has a fear of being understood. neil’s main motivation throughout the books, why he makes so many choices that knowingly put himself at risk, is his desire to be seen, to be known. he wants to be remembered, he wants to matter. he wants to be famous. he wants people to know his name. he loves exy but part of what he loves is the crowd, is being watched

but he also knows that this is dangerous. his mother beat into him how forbidden this was, so he’s also afraid of presenting his authentic self just as much as he desires it

(not to be an andreil stan again but this is also why he and andrew just,, work. because andrew is simultaneously so persistent to uncover neil’s truths yet so respectful of his boundaries at the same time. neil wants andrew to see him, and at the same time he doesn’t, so when andrew first tries to pry neil runs away, and andrew backs off just enough for neil to settle down. then andrew tries again, pries into neil just until he starts to retreat, and then stops. he breaks through that shell of hesitency and fear that neil’s life enforced on him and invites him to come out and be seen, and neil WANTS to be seen, wants to step out and be known. it’s just,, such a precarious relationship, but at the same time such a perfect one)

which is why tattoos covering his scars seems perfect. that feeling i described of someone seeing your tattoos, that’s a feeling neil craves, that perfect balance between being seen and not known, of having yourself be on display and at the same time being hidden and undecipherable

#txt #andrew minyard #neil josten #andreil #my posts #im talkin #anon #anonymous #ask #cw self harm #self harm mention #tattoo #tattoos #foxes w tats

[smarti-at-smogwarts]

12 Character Facts-Marti Venturi

Marti responds very well to encouragement/constructive criticism and really badly to negative criticism /reactions. Because of this her best grade is Charms and her worse is potions even after she gets a better handle on how to deal with the latter form of criticism. Teachers have as much an effect on her as how hard the material is. 

 Transfiguration is a mixed bag but it ends up being surprisingly good. The material’s hard but McGonagall picks up on her responding well to praise rather easily. 

While Marti’s most well music preferences  known mirror her brother’s taste ( old rock bands from the time Jacob was around) she acquires a bit of a taste for pop and contemporary music.

While Marti loves using the baby card ( tm) to not get in trouble/get a yes out of her parents and siblings but also...sometimes wishes she wasn’t the very last of three-turned-five children. A lot of the over protection (especially when it leads to her not being allowed to handle things or being told things bc they think she’s too young)  can get grating for her even if she knows it’s tied to Jacob’s loss and so can’t find it in her to complain much. Though she does gripe to Rowan once that “it’s kind of like I have Five people all older than me-count them, five and... if they thought I’d get upset about rain they’d go out of their way to make sure I couldn’t see the sky turn grey and it’s nice I guess but then...then I’d just get wet”) As the plot with the vaults continue she becomes rather selective  with what she tells her dad and siblings about it because of it 

Somewhat related to that, Marti’s dad didn’t exactly explain much about Jacob’s disappearance since she was so young when it happened. He was trying to protect her, and thought dwelling on it would just hurt her. it all led to Marti not understanding why  her brother wasn’t coming back ( or why they sealed his room off for a while or why they didn’t talk about him anymore or why Ed came back from school looking more and more upset every year, or why her mom and dad weren’t talking to each other much unless it was about her and Ed)  but knowing it none the less. 

Ed didn’t talk to her about it either but more because he wouldn’t talk about Jacob period to anyone due to how painful it was. All of this really fed the idea that she couldn’t  speak about Jacob  ( which her dad would never say that but again they don’t talk. She doesn’t ask. He doesn’t say it. ) Rowan was the first person she really talked about Jacob with. 

She adapted really  well to her parents being separated and her dad marrying again. She’s kind of just a really adaptable person. It’s one of her Slytherin traits. 

When she was little ( like a babie ) Jacob tended to respond to her inquiries as to why people might have certain reactions to her dad raising them after her parents split with “no honey, it’s not weird they’re just idiots” and which Ed also did after Jacob went missing when people had similar reactions to their blended family which kind of formed this idea to her  that there was absolutely nothing weird about her family and everyone who might think so were just in the wrong. 

She does pick up on it being something people have certain reactions to though. (”I’m ten Eddie, not dumb”) and because of this almost every time she makes a new friend she sort of....will offhandedly mention “yeah my step-mom” or “yeah my step-sisters are” or “well I visit my mom next weekend but this week I’m with my dad and Nora” and wait for a reaction while pretending she’s not...waiting for a reaction. 

She eats breakfast with her siblings or if not lunch if not dinner ( always at least one meal) and cares very little about being told she should sit with her house like  “what are you doing?” “it’s called sitting :)” “sit somewhere else” “No <3-so anyways Eddie...”

Marti’s dueling style is -predictably- sneaky and a bit on the aggressive side. The sneaky she comes by naturally as a Slytherin and it’s what she’ll always start off on. The offensive/aggressive part of it comes more from the  fact that a lot of her train of thought when faced with an opponent is “im smaller than them so the moment a window pops up to land a hit you take it” which again is sort of...how you think when you’re the youngest of a large family. She tries to disable opponents/end duels as fast as possible. 

She likes both wizard clothes and muggle clothes equally and overall likes bright colors,  and prefers skirts and dresses ( and robes) she can twirl around in. 

#Marti Beatrice Venturi #this has been sitting in my drafts for too long here #-throws rock at window and runs- Content! #hphm #Jacob's sibling #my mc

[illusionlock]

romeos huge rant on comedy, horror, and how they interlap

ok, so. full disclosure, what got me to make this post was this joke post right here.

so the initial premise is funny, haha okay. yeah. oh youre a kid and your punishment at school is that you have to stay at a room full of wasps. its funny because its absurd. it couldnt happen irl. youd think it wouldnt happen irl. youd hope so.

the thing about comedy and horror though? is that they actually operate on very similar concepts.

and that is, the absurd. the uncanny valley. what youre expecting the least. what youre not seeing and not registering. jumpscares are effective if at least to get you to jump, even if they are cheap. meanwhile, jokes where they completely twist your expectations to get you to laugh do the same thing.

it may be hard for you to believe me, but in the end, the bad ending of tattletail is the other side of the same coin as a joke that goes “i swallowed a tablet with some water. everyone on the apple store was terrified of me.”

i have not read the wasp story, but i can guaranteee you, i CAN imagine it being scary, if the right tones are used and suspense is built up nicely. with the right twists and turns, knowing when to keep things quiet and when to blow things out of proportion.

OR it can end up being unintentionally hilarious, if the characters in it are way too cliche to be real and feel more like caricatures of teachers and students, if things are rushed and details lose their meaning and value, if we are just to focus on being an audience watching a kid get chased around by a swarm of wasps, instead of putting ourselves in their place.

im neglecting to mention something though. horror is not the TRUE other side of the coin to comedy. no, thats tragedy. and im sure many more people have heard of that. the two masks used in theater, one happy, the other sad.

and now we come to two very interesting modifiers. im sure youve heard of the term ‘horror comedy’ to refer to a subgenre of horror that does have jokes and silly things still happening, and may not take itself all that seriously. but why is it a specified subgenre? because MOST horror is tragedy.

this is why, despite liking many horror games or even stories, in the end i still dont consider myself someone who actually likes horror as a general genre. most horror focuses on the seriousness of the faults of humans, on our fragility, on all we can lose or are even bound to lose, on the fear that what we feel so confident about having close to us can be snatched away in a second, that our sense of reality can crumble. most horror? doesnt end well.

comedies in general tend to focus on the absurdity of life, on how many silly, strange, or even uncanny situations can happen that can challenge us, but not in a harsh way, but in a way that, despite so many bad things happening, we still get to point and laugh it off and be okay at the end of the day.

literally, all it takes for a tragedy to become a comedy, and vice versa, is a tonal shift. when i told of my idea to create this post to my boyfriend, he backed me up, and told me “the difference between horror and comedy is in the soundtrack and silly sound effects”. hes right.

of course, there are things that you should have the decency to not laugh at, still. to keep your mouth shut and know when to reject. but good comedy knows how to stray away from that, and good tragedy knows how to handle it respectfully without making it torture porn.

so, as horror hinges on tragedy, on the fear that we all know we must face in our lives, because a scream is as natural as laughter, so horror comedies are born as an interesting paradox.

a year or so ago, i got the opportunity to watch the banana splits syfy movie. i was a huge fan of the banana splits as a kid, and would often watch their reruns. those silly furries meant a lot to me. but im not stupid, i know thats a horror movie, i went in kinda knowing what to expect.

it was a gore fest, and for about two or three nights i had trouble getting to sleep. i wasnt actually scared of my childhood friends in animal costumes, as i knew how absurd and irrational my fear was, but just the images of the massacre being fresh in my mind were enough to send me into a panic if i lingered for too long, which can happen, you know, when youre about to sleep.

(TW FOR DESCRIPTION OF A MANS DEATH AND GORE, IF YOURE SQUEAMISH JUMP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH)

i think a scene that perfectly blurs the lines between comedy and tragedy, as well as just plain horror in it, is the scene where a man gets killed by being put in a magicians box and sliced in half as a ‘magic trick’ by fleegle, the dog. as he pleads for his life, and his soon to be wife watches in horror and pleads for the robot dog to stop (yeah theyre robots in this, weird), fleegle continues to slice him in half and blood spurts out, until he is dead, and fleegle just happily and proudly showcases what he has done, as if he just did a real magic trick.

(END TW FOR DEATH AND GORE DESCRIPTION)

watching that was horrifying, of course it was. but at the same time, it was what i wanted and expected when i thought about “banana splits horror movie”. fleegle just did something completely absurd and entirely uncalled for. and what doubles the uncaniness of it is that it was supposed to be something harmless, a magic trick. think about this if it was in an adult swim cartoon. the same thing could still happen, but be treated as just a weird, gross joke. fleegle could even swear, say ‘heres your fucking magic trick damnit! oh you dont like it, well i quit!’ n then throw his hat on the ground and step on it.

they are essentially the same scene, but the cartoon version of it is presented in a way that shows full on just how absurd and unexpected it is, without any seriousness to it, probably without any moody music to accompany it. meanwhile the movie one focuses on the fear, grief, and horror of putting us in the shoes of a woman who just watched the man she loved be killed, with the shots being extra impactful.

in the end, the banana splits syfy movie is a horror comedy though, because most of the movie is spent finding the most creative, absurd, borderline funny ways for people to be killed off. as you watch it along, you dont know whether to laugh at the weirdness and absurdity of the events or to genuinely feel grief and fear over the bodies piling up.

i could also just go over a million other examples available to me right now. in fact, as of the time im writing this, i have the latest vinesauce corruption stream pulled on youtube. during corruptions, the most bizarre and absurd things happen, and often times, things get scary. we see the video game characters we love be deformed and twisted in ways that you can only imagine hurt, but they still act as if thats normal! so you cant help but laugh.

earlier today, i watched a gameplay video of bonbon. its a short horror game, with a very... different antagonist. i wont spoil much, because, i dont want to deter people from buying it. but i will say, there is a reveal at the end, which slaps you in the face with the realization that you have been played for a fool all along, and the developers would probably laughing at you if they saw you after youve beat the game. its a joke, and the fear that they cultivated so lovingly, is the punchline. your fear becomes a punchline. to me thats one of the highest forms of blurring horror and comedy, and one i prefer to some more gory and harsh attempts.

and i mean, i have to mention fnaf here, dont i? its a great example too, particularly because, if you look at the games by themselves, they generally take themselves pretty seriously as horror stories, minus a few odd cases or references. but they just have enough wiggle room that, if you look at them from afar, as an audience, you can take these characters youre supposed to be afraid of, and have fun with them, because it is pretty damn absurd, and even funny at the end of the day, that youre expected to be afraid of essentially big, robotic childrens toys. and thats when many fun, fan renditions that focus on lighthearted situations pop up. vanny herself is pretty funny even! the idea of a person who dresses up in a full fursuit to do crimes is pretty hilarious.

all in all, i think i just really appreciate how horror and comedy can converse with each other and how that says something about how we, as humans, are easily made impressed, made to be surprised and shocked, to jump or to laugh. and we are always looking for that thrill, it just depends on if youre looking for laughs or screams.

so yeah, maybe ‘wasp room’ can be a pretty good story. is it a horror story or a comedy? we wont know until we read it. (also if you made it to the end reading this holy shit i love you , i fully recognize i talked way too much)

#don't be scared. i am here with you.

[nad-zeta]

Match up (◕‿◕✿)

nAdDy sEnpAi if you’re still doing ikevamp matchups, could you do mine pleaseee 👉🏼👈🏼, school’s been really hectic and i need a pick me up 😔😔 here’s my updated info hehe 😚

I’m a female on the libra-scorpio cusp and a Slytherin, I used to be an ENFP but now I’m an INFP. Appearance-wise, I’m 5'2, i’ve brown eyes and caramel brown hair. I also wear glasses and I’m also quite tanned from being out in the sun all the time.

Personality-wise:

- I can be really enthusiastic about stuff I’m really interested in, such as history (especially world war history), sciences (but physics is trash to me) and anime (I’m a closet nerd hehe) .

- I can be really ambitious and competitive, and I would sometimes place unrealistic expectations on myself, leaving me mentally exhausted and stressed, but like i place these unrealistic measures on myself to strive to be the best

- I do try to chill and take it slow, but you know, sometimes i just can’t 😅

- I’m quite an open book to all my close friends

- I also tend to be really possessive, like I dont like people purposely trying to steal my friends (it happened a lot of times before) and i hate it when someone randomly butts into a conversation i’m having with anyone, especially if it’s a deep conversation

- I can be really awkward around people i don’t click with, but around people i click with, i can be pretty wild and will be able to hold conversations with.

- I tend to procrastinate a lot, and people say i look intimidating but i don’t feel like I’m intimidating.

- I can be really sensitive to other’s emotions and i tend to put others before me, so like my close friend always told me that i’m too much of a giver, like I try to please everyone else and ignore myself

- My love languages are physical touch and quality time

- I can’t stand people who are attention seekers or just aim to be public nuisances as i feel that they’re just really irritating and it gets on my nerves, especially those people who are just doing stupid things to be popular (which is lowkey why i think tiktoks dances are dumb, like seriously i dont get the hype, but i do like tiktok meme videos tho)

- I listen to a lot of different genres of music, but i especially love classics (mozart and chopin are my favourites) and pop.

- I can really insecure at times, because i always feel that every other girl out there is better than me and i’m just a plain and ugly, and partially because i got bullied when i was younger about my appearance

- I like dressing up and putting on makeup occassionally, but i do act like a tomboy most of the time (ie. I hate skirts, like i really dont like them and i have no idea why, but jeans are supreme).

- I also love playing the piano and singing as well, even though i’m not that good at it :D

- People tell me that I’m very curious and persistent, constantly pushing until i get answers, but i do know my limits.

- I’m also very passionate about things I love, and i would do anything to protect people that i care and love.

- I’m also very affectionate and supportive towards my close friends and people i love. - I do have trust issues and I often feel like i do not deserve love and that I hate people who betray my trust.

- I’m ok with pda, but not anything overly affectionate, like hand-holding and kissing is ok, but not making out 😳😖

- I also tend to be pretty forgettful, and i’ll not eat for hours to get my work on hand done (whoop pretty unhealthy but :0)

- I’m also really sarcastic when i want to be, and i can’t hold a poker face to save my life (i swear i always start laughing like 2 seconds in) and I tend to sass people a lot, especially if I’ve had a bad day

- I’m also pretty fiesty and I hate people stereotyping me for my gender (i.e like when someone says that “oh you’re pretty good for a girl”) like what does my gender have to do with my ability? Like there is zero correlation

- My sense of humour is kind of twisted at times but i really love memes and i tend to crack inappropriate jokes sometimes

- I’ve been told that i come across as really flirty to some guys but it’s because i can be really touchy feely to my friends

- I’m also quick to anger, especially if i have a bad day, i hate people who nag and i hate people who put down others

- I’m kind of touch-starved, so i really like hugs and cuddles, but I’m also ticklish so my friends tend to tickle me when hugging me

- I can be a daydreamer at times, like I would get stuck in my own fantasy world when i shouldn’t 😂😂

- I’m also a drama queen around my friends, I dont have a lot of them in real life because of some rumours that others spread, so i only have a close circle of friends i really treasure and would do anything for them

- I also tend to bottle up all my anger and negative thoughts, and would sometimes like explode on others even though I don’t mean to

- Sometimes I don’t really think before I say or act, which is why sometimes I can come off as a bit rude or unfeeling but it’s just me and my impulsiveness 

Fun Facts:

- i really love food, especially sweets (dark chocolate and dango is my life)

- i really hate horror movies (I’m usually pretty brave, but horror movies just get to me so much ergh) but i love chick flicks and adventure flims

- I’m also a hopeless romantic, which is why even little romantic gestures can make my heart flutter

- My hobbies are reading, writing and shooting (only air-rifle though)

- I used to be pretty athletic, I still am, but to a lesser extend now, because i injured my left knee playing volleyball in the past. It’s on it’s road to recovery, but it still hurts quite badly when i overexert myself.

- I love artic foxes and cats, dogs are too energetic for me 😅

- I’m also a sneaker hoarder and I love collecting and wearing sneakers hehe, heels are like torture devices for the feet i dont care even if they make me taller

- Coffee over tea anyday, no offense to peoples who like tea, but a fresh cup of brewed coffee is one of the best things in the world 😚

- I’m really terrible at drawing, I’m not gonna kid you. When i was younger, my art teacher threatened to fail me because im really terrible at drawing. 😂

- I’m also very injury-prone and a bit clumsy, which caused me to have bruises occasionally

- I’m kinda bad and math and physics, but like if you take your time to explain to me then I’ll understand a bit more lol, my best subject is like chemistry

- my ideal date would just be cuddling with my boyfriend, and either watching a movie together or bookshop date hehe

uwu i would be super grateful and happy if you did my matchup uwu thank you sm sending you all my love and hugs and cuddles 🥰💖💕

Hi hi, lia! ❤I’m so happy ya requested! 😆Hehe, I hope you enjoy it love, and I hope this cheers ya up! Love ya lots, and I hope you enjoy it! ❤😊

So I match you with……………. Isaac

Oh, the first time Isaac spotted you in the dining room, introducing yourself to everyone, he was paralyzed with fear. You quite possibly looked more intimidating than anyone he has ever met in his whole entire life, and that’s saying a lot considering you were standing right next to his pure blooded vampire, sire. Comte spotted Isaac hiding behind the doorway of the dining room, peaking in to catch a glimpse of their new guest. You instantly turned around when you heard the blond vampire beckon, someone closer, whose name you know all too well. He had been the cause of endless amounts of math and science homework over the years. 

Your eyes locked with his for a split second, but moments after you met his rosy eyes he darted them to the ground. “I-s-saac Newton, n-nice to meet you.” You gave him a shy smile and took his outstretched hand and shook it, before you could even say a word, Arthur budded in and interrupted. An action which caused you to feel slightly irritated, Isaac looked up at your face and saw that you were starting to become awkward with being the centre of attention. The two of you still held hands when the physicist decided to pull you into the kitchen with him to give you a moment of peace. You smiled when he is a very soft meek voice confessed that he didn’t really like crowds or loud people, a little fact that the two of you bonded over. And before you knew it, you and Isaac were now sitting in the kitchen chatting away in a deep conversation about your mutual dislike of overcrowded places, bullies and plain old public nuisances.

The next day you decided to curiously explore the mansion. You came across a great big library, and you felt as excited as a kid on Christmas day. They had every and any book you could possibly wish for. You decided to spend the day doing something you absolutely loved, and that would be... reading. You had found yourself an old outdated science book, and you were honestly so fascinated at how little had changed in terms of scientific principles over the years. You were so invested in the book you were reading you didn’t even hear Issac walking in. He was on the hunt for his little hedgehog. 

You were awoken from your book reading trance when you heard the sound of a vase smash against the floor. Startled you turned your head towards the loud crash only to see a very distressed looking Isaac. You are naturally sensitive to other emotion, and very much a giver, so it only took one glance at Isaac’s troubled face to prompt you into action. You noticed that he had cut himself on the fallen vase and he was now down crouched on the floor trying to retrieve his terrified hedgehog, who had gotten himself caught at the bottom of one of the large bookcases. 

Wordlessly you laid on the floor beside Isaac and peered under the bookcase, when you spotted little Harry cowering in the dark corner tangled in a ball of wool. Your hands and arms were much smaller than Issac’s, so you were easily able to reach under the bookcase and secure the little hedgehog. Both of you sat up as you cradle the scared little animal in your hands, trying to untangle the wool that was wrapped around his body. “My God, Harry, I was worried sick about you, please never disappear like that again.” both you and Isaac breathed a sigh of relief at the now rescued critter.

That is when you looked up and noticed that Harry wasn’t the only hedgehog who had been injured, “Isaac, your hand!” You stood up and offered Isaac a hand up, you then gently took his hand in yours and led him to your room. You sat him down on your bed and gently started treating the injury as Harry had made himself comfortable, now sleeping on your pillow. While treating Isaac’s injury, you started chatting away with him. You could see him blushing profusely from embarrassment so you decided to tell him about the book you were reading before the whole fiasco. At the mention of the science book, Isaac instantly perked up and met your enthusiasm ten fold. After his wound was wrapped and treated, the two of you sat in deep conversation for the second time that week, chatting all about science and your mutual love for the subject. And that my dear friend is how you and Isaac had become good friends

Since that day, it wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to be sitting across from each other in the library, reading away. Usually, Harry would be nestled in your lap as you and Isaac enjoy a quiet afternoon together. Some afternoon the two of you would just simply sit in silence and read while other afternoons were filled with laughter and conversation between the two of you cuties. 

As the days went on Isaac had noticed a very curious fact about you, and that was how forgetful you were. He had noticed that you would go hours and hours without eating or drinking something which strangely enough, was the exact opposite of him, who required minimum routine of five meals a day. It was this curious observation that had started the habit of the two of you dining together every day. Something which both of you really enjoyed, especially now that the two of you were determined to find the best sweets in all of Paris. Every day without fail, at lunchtime you and Isaac would go out to town to try a new cafés for lunch and sweet. These café crawls usually involved Isaac showing you around Paris, visiting book stores together and leisurely walking beside the Seine. You honestly loved spending time with this hedgehog, who had seemed to have completely opened up to you. 

Isaac loved your inappropriate jokes and twisted humour and would bust out into uncontrollable laughter whenever you would crack a joke. One time as the two of you were sitting on the fountain’s edge eating some ice cream, you saw a man falling up stairs. As hard as you tried, you couldn’t keep a poker face, it just wasn't in you, especially when Isaac had just witnessed the exact same scene and was now looking at you and snickering. Of course, being the sweet angels you were, you rushed to see if the man was alright, however, your walk home with Isaac was filled with jokes and endless laughter of the days events. 

Ooh how Isaac had fallen head over heels for you, his favourite thing in the world was to hear you sing and play the piano. He would silently walk into the piano room whenever you played, and just let the beautiful sounds wash away his weariness of the day. He would shower you with endless compliments, even more so, when you would deny them, saying that you aren’t that good. These playful little banter fights usually end with him tickling you. He usually won’t give up until you admit that you are the best singer and piano player in the whole mansion. Cue Mozart walking in like challenge accepted.

The night Isaac finally confessed his feeling for you was on, one warm summers night. The night started of with Isaac taking you out to watch a musical concert. He knew just how much you love music. Before he had met you, he had never really bother taking the time to listen to music, as he had always been far to absorbed with his own work, to stop and smell the flowers. However since meeting you, he found himself utterly enjoying going to the opera and musical concerts and letting himself just get absorbed by the sound of music. He loved the way your eyes gleamed as you watched and listened to the performance. 

After the concert, he lead you out into the garden, where his telescope had been all set up. The two of you sat together and stargazed while Mozart played some romantic classical music in the background, which was arranged by the resident hedgehog himself. Somewhere between the beautiful sight of the stars and the gentle melody playing in the background. Isaac build up the courage to finally reveal to you just how madly in love he was with you. He then produced a bunch of red roses out of thin air and resting in the roses was a card with a hand-drawn meme ( courtesy of Sabastian) asking you in the most hilarious way to stay in the past with him. The two of you met in a sweet kiss and the rest of the evening was spent cuddled in each other’s arms under the stars.

Both of you are pretty touch starved creatures, so expect to be cuddled, snuggled, kissed and hugged whenever Isaac comes across you. Like if Isaac spots you in the garden hanging laundry he will give you the biggest hug from behind, kiss your neck and then tell you how much he loves you, before he is off with Napo to teach the children.  

Don’t worry about your impulsive behaviours, bottled up emotions or a quick temper. Isaac might be new to the whole human behaviour thing but he is very in-tune with your emotions and he will instantly pick up when you are feeling upset or angry. He will aim to fix every and all problems immediately, especially if it is causing you hurt or upset. This also counts for when you are over stressing yourself, about putting too high an expectation on yourself. If he sees you getting angry, stressed or frustrated, he will pull you into his arms and gently stroke your hair, you can’t be angry when you are being so gently held and loved. Isaac will sit an listen to all your troubles. 

He always encourages you to communicate whenever you are having negative emotions so he can help you through it the best way he knows how, with cuddles. He would usually make you a cup of coffee and pull you into his lap and cuddle you, as you unpack everything and anything that had upset you that day. He will patiently listen and leave small little kisses on your cheeks to remind you that he is there for you and will support you no matter what

He loves your competitive side, even more so when you use it to win a bet and beat Arthur. HE also loves how open-minded you are. The two of you often teach each other new skills, for example, you have been teaching Isaac how to shoot while Isaac has been patiently teaching you maths and science.

He low key loves how possessive you are and is just as possessive over you. He absolutely adores you and will remind you of that every single day. 

He loves holding your hands and giving you small kisses on the cheeks whenever the two of you go out together. He honestly can’t believe it when you feel insecure about the way you look, “You are honest to God, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Will tickle you and shower you with kisses and loving words whenever you are feeling insecure about yourself. 

He will always snicker when your feisty side comes out. Like whenever you sass the men at the banquets for spewing gender based stereotypes and being ignorant. Once they have been put in their place, Isaac while still laughing at the hilarious smack-down you just gave the ignorant men will always give you the sweetest kisses, “God, I love you so much.”

Isaac legit loves everything about you from your quick temper to your clumsy streak. You best be sure this hedgehog is ganna be right by your side whenever you clumsily injure yourself. He will legit sweep you off your feet and nuzzle into your neck, all while making sure you didn’t injure yourself too severely. 

This boy loves you to the moon and back and would do anything to make you happy. If you are overexerting your injured knee you best be sure he will piggyback you to his room and do everything in his power to ease away the pain. Even if that means taking a soothing hot bath with you.

Often the two of you cuties can be found cuddled together, each reading their own book. Both your love languages are physical touch and quality time so Isaac is happiest when you are nestled near him simply spending some good quality time together.

Other potential matches…………. Comte 

I hope you have the best day lia! Sending ya all the hugs! ❤❤🌻 @i-sleep-like-napoleon

#matchups #match ups #ikevamp matchup #ikevamp match up #ikemen vampire isaac #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp isaac newton #isaac newton #isaac match up #submission

[rosehvney]

               ♡ . *    have  you  seen  AMORA  ‘AMI’  IZUMI  around  campus   ?   i  hear  they’re  a  FOURTH  YEAR,  SPRING  witch  with  a  specialty  in  ASTROLOGY.  i  almost  never  see  them  without  their  HUMMINGBIRD.  if  they  ever  want  to  be  a  MATCHMAKER  someday  they  should  ease  up  on  being  FICKLE  &  LOFTY.  at  least  you  can  say  they’re  COQUETTISH  &  INTREPID,  too. 

               hey,  hey  !!!   i’m  diana,  aka  ur  resident  girl  group  stan ASJSJSJ  i’m  twenty,  use  she/her  pronouns,  and  reside  in  the  est  timezone   !!    this  is  super  late  but  here  i  am,  finally  introducing   ...   loona   !!!   jk,  under  the  cut  u  can  read  abt  my  lil  spring  witch  amora.  i  was  kind  of  winging  it  the  whole  time  so  i  apologize  if  it  seems  all  over  the  place  but  pls ...  i’m  a libra  i’m  a  little  dumb  it’s  my  nature.  forgive  me   !!   i  can't  wait  to  plot  AKSKSK  let  me  kno  if  u  prefer  discord,  if  not  tumblr  im's  work  fine !!!

♡ . *    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔    !

full  name :  amora izumi

nickname(s)  :  ami

zodiac  :  gemini  sun,  libra  moon   (  click  )

sexuality  :  bisexual

alignment  :  chaotic  good

pinterest  :  click

♡ . *    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅    !

amora’s  mother  was  a  spring  witch  and  her  father  was  a  summer  witch.  to  their  delight,  ami  was  born  a  spring  witch  just  like  her  mother.  however,  ami  would  later  realize  this  was  not  as  good  as  it  seemed

her  mother  was  a  midwife  and  she  wanted  nothing  more  than  for  amora  to  follow  in  her  footsteps.  unfortunately,  amora  never  had  any  interest  in midwifery

during  amora’s  teen  years,  her  parents  started  arguing  frequently  about  the  direction  they  wanted  amora  to  go  in.  her  mother  was  set  on  midwifery,  but  her  father  understood  the  importance  of  choosing  your  own  future.  aside  from  arguing  about  amora,  her  parents  stopped  seeing  eye  to  eye  on  many  other  things  as  well,  and  eventually  they  split  up

amora  did  not  handle  her  parents  split  well.  mostly,  she  blamed  herself.  she  feels  like  if  she  had  just  pursued  midwifery  like  her  mother  had  wanted,  none  of  this  would  have  happened

after  the  split,  she  had  to  live  with  her  disapproving  mother.  her  father  not  only  moved  out,  but  he  moved  to  a  different  city  to  be  around  some  of  his  family.  this  kind  of  broke  her  heart  a  lil.  she  saw  it  more  as  her  father  trying  to  stay  far  away  from  her

so,  amora  continued  living  with  her  mom  who  continued  to  disapprove  of  her  choices.  for  a  while,  she  wasn’t  sure  what  she  wanted  to  do.  however,  after  her  parents  divorce,  she  became  especially  interested  in  matchmaking

she  figured  since  she  drove  her  parents  apart,  she  could  redeem  herself  by  bringing  others  together.  she  quickly  became  obsessed  with  the  idea  of  love

amora  more  recently  found  out  her  father  remarried  and  started  a  new  family.  she  doesn’t  really  speak  to  him  much  anymore,  so  the  idea  that  he  is  present  in  the  lives  of  his  new  family  hurts  her  a  lot.  but  in  the  end,  she  still  blames  herself  for  driving  her  father  away

so,  amora  has  a  father  she  barely  sees  and  a  mother  who  continues  to  try  to  micro-manage  her  life  and  make  a  carbon  copy  of  herself  out  of  her  daughter

♡ . *    𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚    !

amora  is  extremely  extroverted.  she  is  a  social  butterfly  and  will  try  to  befriend  anyone  with  a  pulse

she  is  a  little  bit  of  a  people  pleaser.  after  her  dad,  she’s  really  scared  of  being  abandoned,  which  is  why  she  lowkey  seeks  approval  from  others  :(

she  can  sometimes  appear  to  be  a  little  bit  full  of  herself.  she  tries  2  play  off  her  insecurities  by  having  an  ‘i’m  the  best’  attitude  akdjksdjh 

like  i  said,  she  loves  love   !!!   she  gets  crushes  easily,  but  also  loses  attention  fast  because  they  mostly  tend  to  be  superficial  crushes.  typical  air  sign  behavior

kinda  bouncing  off  the  last  one,  she  loves  2  flirt   !!!   she  loves  flirting  with  her  friends,  the  barista  at  the  cafe,  the  girl  sitting  alone  in  the  library,  literally  anyone  and  everyone.  this  has  gotten  her  into  some  trouble  in  the  past  (   when  she  accidentally  flirted  with  one  of  her  professors  during  office  hours   )

a  loyal  friend   !!!!   values  her  friends  more  than  anything  else  in  the  world.  even  though  she  likely  has  a  large  circle  of  friends,  she  wouldn’t  necessarily  consider  them  all  to  be  her  close  friends.  she  would  still  do  anything  for  them,  though

she  is  an  extremely  curious  and  restless  spirit   !!!   she  is  dying  to  see  the  world  and  uncover  all  of  its  secrets.  always  up  for  an  adventure  no  matter  the  risks

loves  to  party  and  have  fun   !!

♡ . *    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔    !

partner  in  crime  -  someone  who  always  goes   along  with  her  antics.  someone  who  she  bounces  off  of  and  they  do  dumb  /  fun  shit  together   !!!

ex-fling/gf/bf -  there  could  b  more  than  one  of  these   !!!    they  could  have  ended  on  bad  terms  or  good  terms,  still  have  lingering  feels  or  tension  or  maybe  they  remained  friends  !!!   we  can  plot  this  however  

unrequited  crush -  maybe  she  has  a  crush  on  ur  muse,  whether  it’s  a  deep  crush  or  a  more  surface  level  crush.  OR  ur  muse  could  have  a  crush  on  her  and  maybe  she’s  oblivious  to  it   !!!

requited  crush  -  speaks  for  itself,  but  our  muses  have  crushes  on  each  other   !!!  maybe  it  isn’t  super  serious,  or  maybe  it  is

will they,  won’t  they  -  there’s  feelings  between  them,  but  maybe  the  timing  has  always  been  off.  they  want  to  explore  whatever  they  have,  but  maybe  they’re  scared

current fling/friends  w  benefits -  someone  she  is  currently  seeing.  could  be  no  strings  attached,  or  there  could  b  some  feelings  there.  maybe  they  don’t  want  to  make  it  anything  serious,  or  maybe  they’re  ready  to  take  it  to  the  next  level.  maybe  one  person  is  ready  to  go  further,  and  the  other  isn’t.

enemies  w  benefits  -  imagine  the  tension   !!!   they  started  out  hating  each  other  but  ended  up  hooking  up.  maybe  it  was  a  one  time  thing,  or  maybe  they  can’t  stop  going  back  to  each  other.  maybe  they  keep  it  a  secret  and  don’t  want  anyone  else  to  know.  this  could  develop  in  soooo  many  ways  pls  this  is  so  sexy  !!!!

party  buddies  -  they  always  go  to  parties  together.  maybe  they  don’t  see  each  other  outside  of  parties,  maybe  they  met  at  a  party  and  became  close  friends  afterwards

roommates  -  self  explanatory,  but  they  live  together   !!!   maybe  they  get  along  really  well,  or  maybe  they  have  some  issues

ex-friends  -  someone  she  used  to  consider  a  best/close  friend,  but  they  had  a  falling  out  for  whatever  reason  n  maybe  they  strongly  dislike  each  other  now.  maybe  they  want  to  re-kindle  their  friendship  but  don’t  know  how

sibling-like friendship  -  someone  she  sees  like  a  sibling.  they’re  there  for  each  other  and  look  out  for  one  another,  always  have  each  other’s  backs

dynamic  duo  -  ride  or  dies.  platonic  soulmates   !!  this  person  is  prob  one  of  the  closest  people  to  her  and  knows  her  very  well   !    they  could  b  a  power  duo,  always  looking  out  for  each  other

take  care  -  someone  who  looks  after  her  when  she  drinks  to  much   !!!   someone  who  keeps  her  out  of  trouble  when  she’s  drunk  and  feeling  a  little  reckless.  she  trusts  them  and  might  feel  like  she  owes  them

confidant  -  someone  who  confides  in  her  or  someone  she  confides  in,  or  they  confide  in  each  other.  they  don’t  necessarily  have  to  be  the  closest  friends  ever,  but  they  get  along,  trust  each  other,  and  maybe  they  talk  more  in  private

rivals  -  they  don’t  like  each  other  for  whatever  reason,  which  we  can  plot. maybe  it’s  jealousy  or  their  personalities  just  clash,  but  for  whatever  reason  they  do  not  get  along.  maybe  they  bring  out  a  bad  side  to  her  that  most  people  dont  see

frenemies  -  they’re  friends,  but  maybe  they’re  always  trying  to  one  up  each  other.  they  might  gossip  behind  each  other’s  backs

bad  influence  -  someone  who  is  a  bad  influence  on  her.  she  isn’t  a  goody-goody  but  she  definitely  holds  herself  back  from  doing  anything  too  crazy.  i’d  love  for  someone  to  be  a  bad  influence  on  her  and  get  her  to  do  or  try  things  she  normally  wouldn’t

this  is  all  for  now,  but  i  should  probably  make  a  plots  page  eventually   !!!

#aa:intro #♡ . * 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒏𝒂 ╱ ooc. #this intro........is so bad #pls pretend u do not see . #but also jk because we should plot ! #also i stole the stats template from xan someone arrest me

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out). 

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

#chicago med #med rewatch series #mine #soul care #ava bekker

[constablegoo]

alright so i have. a lot of questions and thoughts on changeling physiology

tldr it’s quite unorganized so; asexual reproduction, shifting is a natural instinct but can be expanded through study and discipline, Form is easier to reproduce than Function, changelings passively absorb energy via background radiation, conservation of mass... ha, energy efficiency, regeneration is an aware but subdued/vulnerable state, you can sneak up on odo but not most changelings, exaggerated and inhuman movement, language and body language learning, Viscosity tm, vital organs exist, injury and physical tolerance, focusing the senses...

asexual reproduction. loads of possibilities here. they might split in two (which could mean they’re really all clones of one another or else slight variations on an original) or lob a bit of themselves off which then begins to form a new individual. they might fragment off and start growing more individuals from themselves until they’re mature enough to carry on, or they might produce spores!!! OR they might reproduce the way coral do. the main complication is that this is meant for simple or single-celled organisms and also maybe leaves them all more vulnerable to that Clone Problem of being wiped out by a single virus. but perhaps their ability to mimic other types of dna is involved in providing new individuals with a robust enough mix of original genes to be baseline Adaptable

also a problem with simple organisms is that they propagate Extremely quickly and tend to be short-lived and. unintelligent (think fruit flies) so - changelings could have a fair few ‘simple organism’ traits but are ofc complex in reality

the mimicry -- do they actually become the material?? if you scan a changeling as a rock, they have the make up of a rock. but what about more complex materials? or systems? like fire? that requires energy input. im gonna go with: 1. depends on skill level 2. some things like fire they can mimic visually, maybe even with proper light and heat, but does take energy to do so.

speaking of which HOW do they get energy. i think i rambled about this a little in another post, but basically im going with the idea that they’re sort of filter feeders on the dust of the universe... they’re just VERY energy-efficient and collecting these little bits of radiation being thrown around space is a passive activity. i.e. odo probs wouldnt even know he does it, even though he does it constantly.

um. conservation of mass. the biggest thing ive seen odo turn into is that blob-monster, which was maybe 10′x10′ ? 15 at most? large, but probably somewhat unstable, and not huge. the smallest thing in canon is probably the mouse. ive seen the idea that humanoid-formed odo might be. hollow? there’s no need for him to actually form internal organs or any of that, its all surface-level, and besides. if we’re going with the idea that they can reproduce Form more than Function, they wouldnt actually work. he doesnt even eat anyway, so why waste that kinda energy?

that said!! there are probably some basic object functions they can reproduce. im gonna say that maybe your average changeling isnt going to be able to make a microwave that actually microwaves (not without a great deal of practice and scientific understanding), but could more easily become a lamp, for instance, that does actually turn on. that means they have some ability for bioluminescence, but again that requires energy and would shorten the time they can hold that shape.

regeneration obvs. is a chance to re-acquire energy, but we’re told odo doesnt sleep - it’s still a resting state, but maybe he’s still at least somewhat aware of his surroundings, if a bit unable to focus. he certainly seems to still undergo thought processes, etc. but if attacked in this state, he’ll be quite vulnerable, esp if he’s just reached hour 16, but he wont be completely defenseless. WAY more likely to hide than retaliate though, esp depending on where in the cycle he happens to be at the time -- even if that werent also kinda his personality. maybe its like bein rly rly rly tired but ur brain wont keep quiet.

kinda enjoy the idea of changelings becoming a little translucent or misshapen when they zone out. it takes some effort, practice, skill to remain present. a habit!

im sure he doesnt really bother to maintain constant humanoid-shape unless someone’s likely to look at him. could see him MAYBE being caught unawares, on occasion, whoops. very rarely, but how embarrassing

on that note, if you’re able to sneak up on odo and surprise him, he might momentarily jump a little out of shape (like a cartoon, exaggerated). other emotions like disgust or haughtiness might come off a little exaggerated too

at large, humanoid body language is a learned language for changelings, even if they can pick it up very quickly

odo’s got his humanoid walk cycle down pretty good but probably not perfectly, actually. i sort of imagine it could be a little more flowing -- not always -- but if he’s doing something he normally doesnt do, he moves a little less like a human bc he hasnt practiced it enough

ok whats the viscosity of changelings? like..... really runny and liquidy? j.... jelly? i kinda refer back to single-celled organisms again. cytoplasm w control.

in fact odo probably has some very simple (or maybe very complex, considering, but able to disguise themselves accordingly. so simple-appearing?) organs going on in there as well as cytoplasm of some sort

they dont sweat, they dont bleed, they dont smell, they dont taste, they dont sleep

they DO see, hear, are tactile, and feel most emotions that humans do. some of that emotions stuff is cultural

losing a little tiny bit of themselves (injury, i.e., a bit chopped off by a weapon) probs doesnt really hurt much more than getting a scrape, but if u like chop em in half thats gonna be Bad. but most surface level damage is just like getting a haircut or something, no pain. re: that scene with odo stopping the turbolift like.... that could’ve been painful

FOCUS!! sight, sound, etc - im writing senses as things that dont necessarily need to be located in the. face. bc they dont. but im thinking odo tends to concentrate it of course to better interact with others. that means technically - he could. .. . ‘accumulate light sensors’ and see out the back of his head, for instance, even without forming eyes, but because odo’s odo and he’s really trying to fit in he usually wont do that sort of thing and you can still sneak up on him. sometimes he even forgets he can do that kind of thing, when he’s humanoid-formed (unless he’s startled -- then he might revert to more ‘natural’ reactions) - bc he really hasnt spent any time with his people at all

this doesnt even get into the Great Link and changelings being a little bit touch-psychic

another thought !! i like the idea of one limitation being that he has to have seen / experienced in-person / studied / encountered / been exposed to an object, person, or animal to really become it. that’s where skill comes in -- some things are going to come very naturally, like shapes that are common in the universe such as rocks or. plants, in star trek .  they can learn by description or by looking at images and making their best guess, but its not gonna be totally accurate. so - some shapes come from study, like humanoids, and others come more by instinct like rocks and dirt and water, like learning to talk.

so when did odo meet a klingon targ omg

also means they are instinctually EXCELLENT observers, both of material and behavior

but imagine a bird or smth speaking in odos voice yikes

speaking of speaking, odo speaks bajoran and doesnt really know any other languages on his own, except workable cardassian. i.e. he’d have to learn to speak seagull

what if bc odo’s learning and sort of stunted in skill bc of his upbringing and inhibitions his face is..... actually made of latex, sometimes, like when he needs to save energy he goes Low Poly Rendering cos its close enough, and easier, and he’s interacted with plenty of latex and other Made materials bc he’s hardly lived at all anywhere that wasnt built-up by life forms. (probs partly why he seems so interested in practicing other animals and plants -- natural shapes are not shapes he’s been as exposed to, so they’re more interesting - and dynamic - than say, furniture / appliances)

he gives off no body heat, but neither is he cold. room temp, with a wide tolerance

can survive in space and vacuums

they seem somewhat naturally stronger than humans, esp as a sturdy material

some of them can become a magnet, thats just aligning poles / can then reproduce some basic electronics functions

at least they seem to have pretty comparable intelligence to humans so that’s relatable

#LONG POST / #body horror tw #look out beloooow !!! #almost a stream of consciousness ramble sfdkgh #featuring some awfully shorthand Science #pretty much a headcanon dump . notes on specific choices im making etc #things that'll def change over time im sure #⌀ EVERY SIXTEEN HOURS I TURN INTO A LIQUID! [ about. ] #oh god this is so long but i had so much time to think at work #scary notes to myself #⌀ UNKNOWN SAMPLE. [ ooc. ] #im SO SORRY mobile users

[sunshinee-sunflowerr]

When I saw this I was immediately triggered and that’s how I knew I had to share it. Other than the fact that it is important as fuck to share something like this. But the second part of that post almost aligns with what had happened to me with my ex Dan. I have issues with sexual dysfunction and tend to lose feeling down there and that leaves me feeling betrayed by my own body. I feel so worthless and pathetic already as it is when it happens because I’m sensitive and it is humiliating when I start to cry. I don’t even get to like fully enjoy something so intimate because I’m a very passionate person and I love all types of deep connection. And he ruined it. It had stopped being such a beautiful thing for me. The second I asked him to stop and that I had mentioned I wasn’t enjoying it, he became the person I didn’t think he could truly ever be. He laid down on me. Like I’m talking all of his weight was on me, and he whined about how good it felt to stay in me and finish. I felt nothing and everything all at the same time, I wasn’t being heard, I was just a body, and I didn’t matter anymore. This was someone who was stronger than me. This was someone who I loved and straight up disrespected me to the point where I myself are in a traumatic position, I had to literally match his thrusts just so he’d come faster because I knew that was the only safe way to get him off of me. And that was humiliating and violating. I had no other choice. And to this day this man still tries to say he didn’t rape me but SIR WHEN YOU DO SHIT LIKE THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING RAPIST. YOU IGNORED MY PLEAS AND MADE ME FEEL SO UNSAFE AND I FELT LIKE MY BODY WASN’T EVEN FUCKING MINE ANYMORE. YOU GAVE ME PTSD FOR ALL THE OTHER FUCKED UP TIMES THAT I HAD LET SLIDE BECAUSE I FELT COERCED INTO IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. And what had haunted me every time I wanted to go somewhere, I had to take my car. It happened in my car. I had to drive myself after that with cum dripping down my legs. I had to see a flashback every time my mind drifted towards the back. I will never EVER let myself be in that position again. Dan broke me. I’m the one who pulled myself out and I’m still healing.

It was from 2016 and trauma tells no time, I’m lucky I don’t feel the weight of your body still pinning me down during intimate times. I saw you in the faces of whoever was on top of me. I would get panic attacks and cry. You fucking ruined me and my trust and I will ruin you if you ever dare try to come into my life again.

The Relationship Aspect:

Not many people know about the sleep fucking, or when you would take my thumb out of my mouth when I was asleep because I still had some hard time sleeping so I would suck my thumb sometimes and you would replace your it with your dick and then ejaculate down my throat and I'd wake up to such a horrible taste. My inner child does scream for she was only 15-17 and I let it slide because you had so much power over me and I did so much to make you happy even though it didn't make me happy myself. Let's not forget when I wasn't in the mood sometimes so you would turn around away from me with no sound nothing and straight up fell asleep because I said no or that I don't want to have sex with you. And then there were times where you would sexualize me, you would look up my skirt or you would look at my pants and tell me about my panty lines and basically scare me and make feel little. You were constantly pointing them out and laughing, conditioning me even to never wear comfy underwear, I have more thongs than any type of other underwear. And now I'm finally getting used to wearing normal underwear again just because I was felt like someone was doing the same shit that you did to me. I felt grimy. And let's not forget when you would steal my panties and you would bring them home and jerk off in them and cum in them and to top it all off you would bring them back to my house and throw them in my dirty laundry so they can be washed so you can repeat that cycle. And the worst part is that you probably took some before we broke up and I never got them back. Fuck you. How about all those times you never asked if you could cum in me but you still did even though I fucking hated it, and you’d get mad at me when your sheets were ruined because of you the mess you made in me and I still fucking hate it it's only such a rare occasion for me to ever let that happen during any intimate moment now. Also let's not forget your greediness for my photos. My naked photos that you kept to get off to even after we broke up and still demanded more and other shit when I was with someone else it was disgusting.

The Party:

Oh here’s a memory that’s gonna be fucking me soon, once late October arrives I’m going to be thinking about that night I decided to try and most past you. That fucking college party was the biggest gray area that was so painful and smoggy. It was grey because I was still figuring my shit out and mentally screwed up from the actions of you. I'll never forget, how are used to feel guilty and how are used to blame myself for all of this. And I got to a point where we had mutual friends and I just wanted to forget all about it and learn to forgive you. As soon as ready, Matt and I went to that party that Anthony was throwing and you were there, and you had no problem laughing off your drunk ass I front of me about rape jokes. If I hadn't been high and Matt being so drunk we would've left and I remember calling my mom in the hallway crying telling her about that little part of what happened that night. And then later that night you got so fucking drunk, made everybody your babysitter and I still fucking hate myself for the side you brought out even though you caused me so much harm. You brought out my fucking maternal side which I hated because like I said in that moment of time it wasn’t black or white for me, it was grey. It was so fucking gray. And I took care of you that night because you were so fucking drunk, I remember you asking me or saying something about how I hated you. And then later that night I ended up sandwiched between you and Matt, and you decided to touch me through my pants even when I was cuddled up to Matt and I thought maybe there would’ve been some change but in the end you were still assaulting me. I didn’t sleep at all that night, and it sent me backwards, I felt like all of the progress that I had made was gone it was dehumanizing and I threw out those sweatpants and they were brand fucking new and they were Calvin Klein my favorite designer which hurt even more because I used my money to get something I really wanted for comfort and you just stumble in cocked off of what 3 beers? And ruin even the smallest things that could’ve made me more comfortable? Heinous and out right disgustingly disrespectful.

Trauma talk aftermath:

I betrayed myself sleeping with you even after the rape, and you knew so much about me so I couldn't even fucking report it even though I had the proof of you admitting to what you did. But Im always scared because my reputation was at stake and it was so easily corrupted by your lies as it is. I had no choice. You could've easily ruined my life and I wasn't about to let you so I ruined mine but little did I know that you were already ruining mine. And you still haven't taken accountability for your actions and I'm still suffering the consequences of those horrible behaviors that you were still using to this day probably. And I can't even imagine how many other girls like me there must be now.

Here's to all the nightmares that circulate in my head at night still in that feeling of fear of having and experiencing that PTSD kick into hyper drive. And all the ones I've yet to have when I have new partners in my life, because I have nightmares of them doing the same thing that you did to me and it's traumatizing. Because even though I know they are not you for that split second I am terrified of them. And I saw another post about how when sexual assault survivors even get a whiff of the scent of their abuser they are in panic; and I honestly don't blame them. I was at school the other day, and in the air I smell whatever type of detergent was used to fill the air with your scent, I was in panic for a couple minutes looking around trying to figure it out where you were. It's so fucked up that you've had such lasting effects on me like why isn’t hating you and going through all of that trauma shit enough. And I'm so tired of the panic and anxiety attacks that you still bring into my life whether it is indirect or direct.

And looking back now after going off of that and emotional spiel about what you did and how I still feel towards these events today. I realize all the ways how I am not gonna be treated in the future. You saw the light inside of me, and when you stepped into my life that light dimmed within each day that passed that I saw who you were. And it took all of my power away; but I am taking all of that power back and you will never ever use it again and you will never have it in your possession because I know I will forever be a better person and not let you win. And I know that I wasn't a good girlfriend at the time as well but you were also I'm manipulative narcissistic asshole. And I blamed myself for all of the times that I was mad at you and thought I deserved it all. And I deserve none of that shit. It was you that didn’t deserve me and all the love I gave you. All of clothes I bought you, all of the stupid ass Pokémon cards i grabbed for you because I knew it was important to you to collect them, all of the silly $7 cards to go with each thing I gave you. All of the handwritten notes. Helping you match your clothes and fold your shit. Fuck you and for all you have taken from me and didn’t even fucking say sorry or be truly appreciative.

More Trauma Talk 2020-2021 edition:

Consent is so important to me, because it was stolen from me as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. I want to take a moment to also talk about my second ex-boyfriend named Dan as well how ironic I never thought I'd say I love you Dan ever again. But the first night we hooked up, he was so patient with me which in all honestly is sad but it truly took my breath away with the time that he spent on me making sure I knew that I was safe because he knew that I have been raped. And every once in a while he asked me if I was OK and I thought that was the most amazing thing ever little did I know that that's actually what you're supposed to do and that it's not the bare minimum. And after all of that he still had one of those moments where he traumatized me and put me back into the place where you had put me days before Christmas… which is now a tainted holiday as well as Halloween for me. Thanks a lot.

Wow… fuck this is a lot for anyone let alone me to endure and/or read and I just want to say that felt so fucking good to finally write it all down and speak my truth and let others know that not every sexual assault or rape has to be violent (well it’s violence either way, but you know getting the shit beaten out of you stereotypical type) it can be sweet until it turns sour, it can be public, it can be sneaky, it can be with someone you gained the ability to trust who was so good in the beginning. It can be anyone and that’s the real scary part because I don’t know whose intentions are actually true until they read my stuff and reassure me about how they feel about me. It’s the only way and even then I’m still scared of wanting to be intimate with someone new. It’s another strong reason as to why I am practicing celibacy for a bit.

Finished on 9/20/2021

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

Selina Loun

Hi! Theo was the first oc I submitted so this is my second one Selina!

This takes place in the same world as Theo with fantasy mixed with a steampunk-like technology. I also forgot to mention that though the technology is steampunk the architecture of most areas doesn’t give a vibe of what people usually think when they hear steampunk which is usually a story in the Victorian era. Steampunk is only the technology not the actual architecture and look of the world. I hope that makes sense.

Hi! This is Mod D with your review. Full profile and critique are under the cut.

Name: Her name is Selina Loun though she always seems to go by aliases (so far she’s been, Cat Cane, Poppywillow, Ophelia Strauss, and Bee)

Gender: female

Age: 28

Sexual orientation: straight

Height: about 5'8

Relatives: Ramona Loun (mother, deceased) Griffin Loun (father, deceased) Aloysius Loun (brother, alive) Stephen Loun (uncle, the one who raised them)

Abilities/weapons: she has a weird steampunk-looking rusted gun that runs on crystal ammunition. Her strength is somewhat enhanced with her bionic arm but not too much.

Appearance: Selina is a slightly muscular woman with her left arm being a bronze with a few gears and bolts on it. She has slightly pale skin with wavy kinda light blonde hair that reaches to her shoulders. It’s kinda messy so she always keeps it up in a ponytail or if she’s making a sad attempt to dress nice its a messy bun. She wears a shirt with sleeves that run to her elbows with a dark blue jacket with five gold colored buttons on the right side. The jacket is somewhat burned at the bottom (she won’t get rid of it though she loves the jacket) occasionally she wears a dark forest green vest that closes with leather straps instead. She has light brown pants that are light and airy so she can move around. She has a leather belt with brown leather boots as well with metal surrounding the toe of the boot (for kicking)

Likes: Selina likes to be in open areas and likes big cities and kingdoms. She likes a competition because she always thinks she can rise up to the challenge. She likes “sweet drinks” which is pretty much soda there. She likes to relax and drink every once in a while but she’s smart enough to know not to overdo it. She also likes jewelry specifically anything gold. She really likes making risky choices and gambling which can get her into some major trouble sometimes.

Dislikes: she hates getting being the center of attention it can make her very uncomfortable but it tends to happen quite a bit since a scene gets made when she gets into trouble. She doesn’t like small spaces either she’ll start to freak out a lot. She doesn’t like iron golems. That’ll be explained later in her profile but she does not get near them at all. Change can be a problem for her sometimes she likes things how they are and she doesn’t like major change.

Fears: she has a fear of mind control she sees it as invading and she views it as the only ability that is truly evil.

Occupation: she’s an anti-hero so she’s not the most reliable when it comes to jobs. Sometimes she steals but a lot of times she’ll take jobs that require making deals and mostly the jobs she prefers are getting money from one person to another. Sometimes she does not fulfill her end of the deal and sometimes she does. Actually a lot of times she lies about and it starts conflict so that’s where the aliases come in.

Personal goals: she wants to learn how to shape shift so she can learn how to change her appearance if she’s ever on the run and it would make jobs easier but that is really powerful so you almost have to ask professionals to learn. When she asked she was basically asking how to get better at crime.

Personality: Selina is actually a good person at heart despite acting aloof and like she doesn’t really care. She’s pretty calm a lot of times and doesn’t really freak out. She thinks she can handle everything Though she lies a lot she’s never actually killed anyone. She’s a master of bluffing saying she’ll kill you then yelling “HEY LOOK AT THAT” then run away. She has fought before though and sometimes she lost sometimes she didn’t. She has quite a sense of humor too and she’s kind of an asshole not gonna lie.

She can be sarcastic and mocking a lot of times whenever she’s confronted with an opponent. She can be very arrogant at times and she thinks she can handle anything and everything and she can be very stubborn at times so she never really learns her lesson. Even though she tries to go through with taking jobs and most of the times doesn’t really think about what she’s doing, she has faced some situations where she thinks what she’s doing is too messed up even for her. She has pretty basic intelligence she’s no genius but she’s not stupid.

Backstory: Selina grew up with her brother, Aloysius, and her uncle, Stephen. Their parents died when they were younger so they both lived with their uncle. They were very close with him and he was pretty weird and antisocial. He liked art, science, and had a giant collection of books. Though he did like to explore and go on adventures. They all grew up in a small desert town named Rem. As they got older, they moved away from their uncle and starting to work with each other on missions. Selina and Aloysius were very close as well for many years and of course they would argue like siblings do but they loved each other.

Until Aloysius started to learn about magic and abnormal powers. He began to study them more and more and after learning about multiple abilities mind control stuck out to him the most. Selina did not like this because she thought it was wrong to invade someones mind. She became afraid that he would be taken over by his power and he was. He started to push boundaries and slowly stopped feeling sympathetic for people. This started to hurt Selina, because she had a great relationship with him and that was slowly dying. On missions, Aloysius was more violent and controlling and at the time, they were kinda neutral or didn’t like to fight much.

Selina finally said screw it and they split up, she wanted to be alone for a long time afterwards. She moved to a large city but she could only afford to live in the lower area of the city called underworld. This wasn’t really like a ghetto area but is sure was strange. There was more magic than technology there while the upper areas had technology the underworld had more magic involved. It was pretty big down there. There was a lot of lying and cheating down there. Selina worked at a bar at a guild but soon she started taking missions but she’s a hot mess and didn’t really stay faithful to these missions.

Extra information about her

- I didn’t really know where I could fit in the golem explanation but the reason why she doesn’t like iron golems is because during a mission the person who she was supposed to take money from did have an iron golem that nearly killed her. It took her arm so now she has a bionic.

- sometimes her aliases do not go well she once said her name was Minty Soap or Moose and that didn’t fly at all.

Questions:

So she seems kinda sloppy right now because I’ve been trying to get a solid profile and I feel like I have some unnecessary stuff in her profile do you know if there’s anything I could do to shape her up?

Is her backstory too angst-driven? Like im ok with sad stuff in back stories but is it too much with her?

What things need more information or need changing about her? Thank you for reviewing her!

From the outset, I can already see that Selina’s profile has improvements over Theo’s, given the additional sections and elaborated information. However, she still has some of the same issues his profile did – if to a lesser extent.

First things first, Selina’s capabilities need to be further explained. As written I don’t know how exactly her steampunk gun works (does it fire crystal bullets? Are the crystals charged with energy and it shoots lasers/electricity?) and the description of her bionic arm, while better, is too vague. Describing her strength as ‘somewhat enhanced’ and beyond the average human 'but not too much’ is focusing too much on what she can’t do vs what she can do. So while I understand the gist that she can’t lift a car or knock down a building, I’m still left wondering what her strength limit actually is. Try putting in some examples of what she can do with the arm – the more they align with her criminal activities the better. Can she use the arm to break locks? Easily knock out would-be pursuers? Does it have any useful tools like a grappling hook or hidden compartments for stolen items? This gives readers a much more direct idea of what Selina is capable of, in addition to giving a glimpse of how she acts on the job for a double dose of characterization. Also, I’d also suggest including any detriments from the bionic arm as well – does the arm overheat or have to run on a limited power source? Does it have a tendency to break at in-opportune times or are parts of it particularly fragile? If the bionic arm is just an overall upgrade to Selina’s flesh and blood arm then there’s really no reason she couldn’t have just gotten one of her own free will. Including any negative impacts from having to use the bionic arm makes the impact of her being an amputee much more poignant, in addition to neatly avoiding a lot of negative storytelling aspects that revolve around artificial limbs in science fiction/fantasy.

On the same token, Selina’s Occupation needs to be embellished a bit more. I am really glad you included this aspect in her profile as it adds a lot more to her character, I don’t really feel like I understand what exactly she does. A big thing that would help here is changing 'anti-hero’ to a more specific label. Anti-hero might be a good description of Selina’s character from a storytelling perspective, but something like 'confidence trickster’ or 'pick-pocket’ gives a much better idea about what her occupation in-universe is. If she’s more of a general rogue and doesn’t have a specific area of expertise, even something like 'professional scoundrel’ would work. I understand that she lies, cheats, and steals to make a living but how Selina styles herself in the context of all of that is a big part of her identity. Continuing on, Selina preferring jobs where she 'gets money from one person to another’ is way too vague. What people? What money? Does she steal from the rich to give to the poor? Does she work for a specific client to steal from a specific target? The more specific the nature of her preferred type of work is, the better an idea readers can get of Selina’s character. Is she okay with stealing from innocent people or does she prefer targets that 'deserve it’? Are there limits on what she’ll steal from people or will she take anything and everything asked for? On the same note, does she limit herself to stealing just what was asked for or does Selina tend to take everything not nailed down regardless of if it’s an objective or not? What jobs Selina takes and who she’ll work for are just as important as how she does them in giving a clear picture of her character. As a final note on her Occupation, Selina occasionally having issues following through with a job is a great characterizing point – I just need to know why she has trouble and what the ramifications of that are. Does she just lose track of time, put too much on her plate at once, or are there times when she just has a change of heart in the middle of working and bails on a job? What does this mean for her professional reputation? Is she seen as a loose cannon only hired by the desperate, or have her actions yet to catch up with her? There are a lot of impacts here that could play out really interestingly in-story, but the profile should do more to highlight them.

Moving on to Selina’s Personality section, while the ideas here are good they don’t seem to have enough detailing or focus. In-particular the way that the section is worded is written too much like a dialogue and not enough like a straightforward explanation. Stating that she has 'quite a sense of humor’ is a great why for another character to describe Selina in-dialogue but for an objective presentation it’s far too vague. The same goes for her having 'fought before sometimes lost sometimes she didn’t.’ That doesn’t actually tell me anything about Selina’s personality – it just tells me she got into fights. What motivated her to get into the fights? What was the impact of her losing or her winning? Try taking out the non-specific parts of Selina’s Personality section and replacing them with more specific terminology. Instead of saying she has 'quite a sense of humor’ say she 'tells bad puns to lighten the mood’ or 'pulls pranks on people with her bionic arm.’ It still gets across that Selina has a sense of humor, except now that aspect actually tells specific information about her too rather than just stating it’s something she has. More touches like that would go a long way to making her Personality both accurate and distinct, instead of just accurate. As a final note on this section, Selina’s use of bluffing is not really a good example to go with. It’s great for an amusing OOC commentary about her skills at misdirection but for a profile where the examples and information is supposed to be taken directly it comes across as 'Selina is good at bluffing because she’s good at bluffing’ rather than an actual example of her skill and character. Think of the ideal tone as being more like an essay rather than a social media post and go from there. For example, saying that she’s a master at bluffing and explaining how she bluffs people – IE impersonates others, is a really convincing liar, and/or is really good at misdirection – would keep the focus directly on Selina’s capabilities rather than being an amusing assessment of them.

On the subject of Selina’s background, I think what you’ve got included works pretty well – and to address your concern it doesn’t seem at all to be angst driven (Selina herself doesn’t seem angst driven). I like the history between her and Aloysius and the attention to her childhood with her uncle covers just enough to show where Selina got a lot of her progression from without getting too overburdened with minutia. It has the same tonal/vagueness issue some of her other sections have, but not to the same degree. There are three aspects I was left wanting to know more about, though. First was Selina’s split from Aloysius. Their drifting apart due to Selina having issue with his using mind control magic is great, but the actual moment of the split seems almost too casual given all the prior paragraph did to build up Aloysius’ changes. What I want to know is if there was a particular moment where Selina had finally had enough. Did Aloysius do something particularly bad with mind-control? Did he mind control a target while he and Selina were working, or did he actually attempt to mind control Selina herself? As I said the build up is great but the mention of Selina reaching a breaking point without actually providing one makes the sudden separation fall a little flat. The second thing I wanted to know more about was Selina’s encounter with the iron golem that took her arm. As central to her character as that moment is (between necessitating Selina’s bionic arm and her intense fear of iron golems) that’s too key of a moment not to be included here. In-particular, while I already get the gist of what happened from the blurb you included, the Background section could do a lot to make the context more memorable. Did it happen while she was still with Aloysius or did this happen after Selina went her own way? Did she end up completing the job or did she have to hightail it out (or did it go so poorly that Selina had to be rescued)? Who was the person she was trying to take money from, and what role – if any – do they play now that they know Selina tried to steal from them? Filling in the context here would make this moment a lot more impactful on Selina’s character rather than it just existing as a footnote to explain why she hates iron golems, in addition to possibly providing a future antagonist for her to deal with. Lastly, the third thing I wanted to know more about was the guild Selina found herself involved in. Given the nature of her character and the description of the city of Underworld I was imagining something like a standard 'thieves guild’ but being more specific would go a long way to characterizing the current chapter of Selina’s life more (IE, what she’s involved in and the setting she’s in). What rules does the guild have, if any? Are they a legitimate, legal guild or do such things even exist in a place called 'Underworld’? Does Selina have any friends there or is she just a loner? While the details don’t need to be exhaustive here, some more information would go a long way to establishing where Selina is when the story starts.

As a final note, I’d suggest including a Relationships section as well. While the Background section did a fair job of highlighting Selina’s two main relationships between Aloysius and her uncle Stephen, those are both prior relationships. None of Selina’s current relationships – guildmates she hangs out with, that person with the iron golem she tried to steal from, the leader(s) of the guild, favorite customers she sells drinks to – are specified. Given that this point is where the active story picks up with her, these would be good relationships to go over given the role that they’ll likely play as things progress. Also any mention of Selina keeping in-contact with her uncle or her brother could be included her too, if that’s applicable at all.

All in all, I think Selina has a solid profile, even if her character seems more distinct than is actually detailed. By which I mean, I get the gist that she’s a pretty well rounded character with pros and cons and a solid backstory, but the gist is all I get back of the lack of elaboration. The improvements from Theo’s submission are great but she does have some of the same issues his profile had. Tighten up the focus, be specific instead of vague, and elaborate more on a few key character points and I think you’ll have a really great profile for Selina.

I hope this helps!

-D

#submission #SOC Critique #OC Critique #backstory help #development help

[homestuckcanonconfirmer]

15 Tips About best beginner piano

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens tunes that she wrote in excess of a decade back, the woman who came to generally be known only given that the piano Instructor offered what, in hindsight, looks like an eerie glimpse of her have long run.

Im going away currently to an area so distant, in which no person appreciates my title, she wrote within the lyrics of the music referred to as Going.

When she wrote that track, she was young and vivacious, a piano Instructor and freelance tunes writer who beloved Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Seems, long walks and anything about The big apple.

On a kind of beloved walks, through Central Park in the intense Sunshine of a June day in 1996, a homeless drifter conquer her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Once the assault, the phrases to her track arrived real. She moved absent, outside of New York City, from her aged life, and all but her closest buddies didn't know her identify. To the remainder of the earth, she was -- such as a lot more well-known jogger attacked in Central Park seven many years before -- an nameless symbol of the urban nightmare. She was the piano Trainer.

Now, around the tenth anniversary from the assault, she is celebrating what is apparently her total recovery from brain trauma. She is forty two, married, with a small youngster. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he hopes to explain to her Tale, her way.

Her medical doctor advised her it would consider 10 years to recover, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I feel my lifetime has actually been redefined by Central Park, she explained many times ago, her voice gentle and hopeful. In advance of park; immediately after park. Will there at any time be a time when I dont Imagine, Oh, This is actually the 10th anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch home inside a wooded subdivision inside a Ny suburb. She sat inside of a dining space strewn with toys, surrounded by photographs of her cherubic, dim-haired two-year-aged daughter. A Steinway grand filled half the area, and at one stage she sat down and played. Her playing was forceful, but she appeared humiliated to Enjoy various bars, and shrugged, as opposed to answering, when questioned the identify of the piece. She requested that her daughter and her city not be named.

She phone calls that working day, June 4, 1996, the day After i was damage.

Hers was the first in a string of assaults by exactly the same guy on four Females around 8 days. The last target, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was beaten to death as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing store, and in the end, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to existence in jail.

Nevertheless the attack over the piano Instructor will be the a single people today seem to be to remember quite possibly the most. Component of the fascination should do with echoes from the 1989 attack within the Central Park jogger. But In addition it frightened men and women in a method the assault around the jogger did not mainly because its circumstances had been so mundane.

It didn't take place in the remote Section of the park late in the evening, but in the vicinity of a popular playground at three in the afternoon. It could have transpired to anybody. The tension was heightened by the mystery on the piano academics id.

For 3 days, as law enforcement and Medical doctors tried to see who she was, she lay in a coma in her clinic mattress, nameless. Her mothers and fathers have been on holiday vacation and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Lastly, one among her students recognized a law enforcement sketch and was in the position to detect her inside the hospital by her fingers, mainly because her facial area was swollen beyond recognition. The police didn't launch her title.

The very last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Avenue, then putting her extensive hair in a ponytail and heading out for the stroll. She isn't going to remember the assault, Despite the fact that she has listened to the accounts on the police and prosecutors.

To me its just like a simple fact I learned and memorized, she reported. As if I were being a university student in school researching historical past.

She isn't going to take into consideration The person who did it. I might have been angry for a moment, although not for much longer than that, she reported. How could I be offended at John Royster? He was declared not crazy, but I assume by our standards he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her medical doctor at Ny Hospital-Cornell Health-related Middle, as it was recognized in 1996, advised reporters that she had a ten percent possibility of survival. Physicians experienced to get rid of her forehead bone, which was afterwards changed, for making area for her swelling brain. When her mother produced a general public appeal to pray for my daughter, 1000's did.

After 8 times, she arrived away from a coma, very first in the vegetative point out, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept minimal and talked regularly, at times in gibberish. I had been finding mad at folks when they didnt respond to these text, she said.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she experienced minor quick-time period memory and would neglect visitors when they still left the place.

More than many months, she needed to relearn ways to walk, dress, read through and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented daily to Perform guitar for her. He encouraged her to Perform the piano, against the advice of her physical therapists, who believed she might be disappointed by her incapacity to Perform the way in which she the moment had. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets with her, taking part in the left-hand part even though she played the right.

That was my greatest therapy, she mentioned.

In August, she moved back again dwelling to New Jersey, together with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited aged haunts and named pals, striving to revive her shattered memory. I used to be quite obsessed with remembering, she reported. Any memory decline was to me an indication of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists imagined her development was great, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she experienced misplaced the chance to cry, as if a faucet inside her brain had been turned off. One night, nine months after she was damage, she stayed up late to view the John Grisham movie A Time to Get rid of. Just after her father had gone to mattress, she viewed a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Gentlemen who had raped his youthful daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my mother and father, my father, and the things they went as a result of, she stated. Minimal by little, my sensation returned, my depth of brain returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to school and acquired a masters degree in audio education.

Not every thing went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr split up five years following the assault, nevertheless they continue to be friends. She dated other Males, but she generally informed them in regards to the assault instantly -- she couldn't aid it, she mentioned -- and they hardly ever called for any second date.

We have to search out you a person, her Good friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, claimed 4 yrs in the past, ahead of introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and newbie drummer. For as soon as, she didn't say anything concerning the attack until eventually she acquired to find out Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who experienced usually frequented her at her bedside when she was from the hospital, married them in his Times Sq. office. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Although she was pregnant, within a burst of creative imagination, she and her friends recorded When Had been Young, an album of childrens tunes that she experienced penned ahead of the assault, including the music Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her husband performs drums and he or she plays electric powered piano.

Is her existence as it had been? Not specifically, although she's hesitant to attribute the discrepancies to her injuries. Her final two piano pupils left her, without having contacting to clarify why, she claimed. She has resumed taking part in classical songs, but simple pieces, mainly because her daughter doesn't give her the perfect time to exercise. As for jazz, I dont even check out, she explained.

She would like to drive much more, emotion stranded during the suburbs, but she is easily rattled. She attempts to be written content with being dwelling and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a scientific professor of neurological surgical procedures at precisely what is now known as NewYork-Presbyterian Healthcare facility/Weill Cornell Healthcare Middle, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the attack, claimed previous week that her degree of Restoration was unusual. Shes basically usual, he explained.

Other professionals, that are not Individually informed about Ms. Kevorkian McCanns scenario, tend to be more careful.

Regaining the chance to Engage in the piano may entail an Virtually mechanical process, a semiautomatic remember of what the fingers ought to do, reported Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation drugs at Big apple University University of Drugs. As soon as brain-injured, you're generally Mind-hurt, for the rest of your daily life, Dr. Ben-Yishay mentioned. There's no heal, there is only intensive payment.

The more telling Element of a recovery, in his look at, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns marriage and child as an important victory.

For her aspect, the piano Trainer understands she has adjusted, but she has built her peace with it. I was kind of a hyper ---- I dont know if I had been a kind A, but I had been bold, she states. Why was I so formidable? I used to be a piano Instructor. I dont know what the ambition was about. I really did return to the individual Im designed to be.

Correction: June thirteen, 2006, Tuesday An short article on Thursday about Kyle Kevorkian McCann, a piano teacher who was beaten and sexually assaulted ten years back in Central Park, misstated the title of her album of childrens music. It can be Even though Have been Youthful, not When Have been Young.

[linkspooky]

What do you thought between kaneki n touka and furuta n rize? I dont why for me there so similiar but at the same time so contrast each other. Ah im not question it for ship, just character interest or i dont know what i should call it

Kaneki, Touka, Furuta and Rize form a nice square of foils that arranges itself neatly like this. I was even able to draw a chart for you. 

This is stuff I want to work on for a later post so I’m going to be more concise with this one.

Kaneki vs Furuta

Kaneki and Furuta’s current selves are both defined by a contrast to an extreme selflessness earlier in their lives. Furuta had one good thing about his early life as a Washuu child, somehow he was able to love one person despite being born completely unloved. 

Yet, he gave that up. Despite the actions of his adult self, his childhood self’s action is still one of pure selflessness and love. 

Perhaps too pure, so much so it was almost destined to be corrupted by his later self. Furuta’s selfishness in his current life is almost a direct response to this action. Even so far as overcompensation. His current self turns completely on his childhood self, as if he’s trying to prove his childhood self wrong for acting that way. 

Rather than a person capable of such acts, capable of letting go, the Furuta we are now presented with is one of ultimate control, who uses literal iron bars to subjuggate the person he once let free. Rather than a child born at the mercy of the Washuu who understood the cruelty of his father and wanted to spare others from it, Furuta steps into the exact same position his father once occupied and deals that hurt out to others.

Furuta’s clownish and wildly selfish antics are just that, an act. One to save himself from vulnerability. In his attempt to spare himself from his own emotions though, he reduces all others around him into nothing more than tools. They have no meaning and therefore he has no meaning, and Furuta spares himself from the hardness of his own life.

Furuta is all the negative traits of Kaneki, his extreme selfishness in his world spanning goals, his need for importance to justify the tragedy that happened to him, his habit of using others as objects. In Kaneki these habits still appear but much more lukewarm as they are expressed in the midst of a full persona rather than a concentrated antagonist. I always find it funny that Kaneki looks so bored when he’s told Furuta is running a revolution against the Washuu family for basically what is his own twisted  childhood romance, considering Kaneki not even fifteen chapters later says this.

Kaneki says in the same conversation that he’s willing to fight for all of ghouls kind, and that he also does not care at all for people unless they’re directly in front of him. His entire motivation for running a ghoul revolution then, is about ten or so people that he knew for about six months at most. 

The reasons look small and petty when you zoom out from Furuta and Kaneki’s perspective, but at the same time inside their own heads you can see why these people, these few brief moments of happiness in their otherwise miserable lives are reasons they see for fighting the entire world over.

Kaneki too is, afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of being weaker than the situations around him but most of all afraid of being abandoned again and therefore seeks to control the people around him in passive ways. 

Kaneki is always the first to abandon, with no warning or no explanation for himself. He always says it’s for the safety of the other one, but in reality it’s to spare his own feelings of having his agency ripped away, of losing them suddenly just like he lost his mother.

Kaneki himself once devoted himself to trying to live as selflessly as possible, but one day he snapped and became far more selfish to overcompensate. Whether this happened specifically with Yamori, or even before that is ambiguous but Kaneki’s current self is devoted almost entirely to his own ego and support. In a way then, Kaneki sees the people around him as symbols for himself and conjures them up inside his own head, Rize is his strength, Hide is his hope, Yamori is his evils. 

He assumes himself the point at which the universe turns just like Furuta, and just like Furuta is willing to take on revolutions with thousands of lives at stake for as petty a reason as finding his own reason to live. Which is why despite having massive amounts of empathy Kaneki is rarely ever able to make proper use of it. Because everything to him is always filtered through the lens of Kaneki. His passive action is to treat others as if they were support characters in his own tragic novel, to focus on those who validate his own existence over all else.

Rize vs Touka

Rize and Touka however are more interesting on how opposite they are. This is going to be shorter because Rize isn’t really allowed to be a character so much as a collection of traits that other people project onto, but I’ll try nonentheless. One important thing I want to observe is that originally there was no Rize in the oneshot version of Tokyo Ghoul. Instead Touka took up the role of what was basically the binge eater that Kaneki came in contact with. 

That trait was obviously shed from Touka, and split off into a character entirely of her own in the form of Rize. Being Kaneki’s two main love interests Rize and Touka are obviously set up to foil each other but I see little on comparing them. Perhaps because they’re not similiar enough to be considered classic foils. They do have some similarities.

In the manga Touka’s introduction to her real self rather than her cafe persona is in tearing apart a molester in a Rize like fashion, mostly due to losing her own temper. 

If there is a similarity between the two of them, they both tend to get violently angry and lash out physically at convenient targets. Touka was angry at the whole of the CCG, but only lashed out by picking a few select agents. Rize was angry at the existence of the Washuu and the birdcage she was born into, but rather than directly fighting against them she merely picked off male targets that most likely represented to her the Washuu as a hobby to cure her so called ‘boredom’. 

Of course there is a world of difference in how these two women express their primary anger they feel as a core part of their being. Touka does everything she can to suppress it and appear human, even to go so far as to eat food she could have easily thrown away when no other human being is looking at her. 

Rize would never do something like that in a million years, she actively resented the restrictions ghouls had to play to in order to pass as humans. While Touka wants to conform, Rize hates all rules, even the ones that make sense as to not attract Doves.

They both are women fueled by a fundamental anger but deal with it in a drastically opposite approach. Another minute detail is that after losing their homes, both Touka and Rize were adopted by secondary father figures. Rize had Shachi and Touka had Yoshimura, who also were both established as old friends. 

This is something that for the most part didn’t happen to both Kaneki and Furuta. Kaneki’s aunt who took him in only worsened his abuse, and Furuta was left in the garden alone after Rize fled. Perhaps that’s why the girls in this foil square are able to handle loneliness substantially better, while both boys are near suicidal from lack substantial love given in their lives. 

The Two Pairs of Foils

If you line up the two of them as a pair then, you have one pair defined by extreme selifshness and extreme selflessness.

Rize only used the freedom that Furuta gave her to indulge in herself, while thinking nothing of him. She turned her back on him fully and instead of making something for her life, she only indulged, and indulged building atop the corpses of others. Rather than try to fight for the freedom she seemed to care about so much for ghouls, she became nothing more than a serial killer basically who caused troubles for other ghouls. 

Furuta also, lost the childhood care he had for Rize and slowly only came to care about her through the lens of how she made him feel. Rize made him feel anxiety, Rize made him feel worry for her sake, or perhaps Rize just made him feel in general. As Rize turned away from him, Furuta too, turned away from her and eventually only sought to control her.

Then you have Touka and Kaneki, the couple that stands on opposite ends of the bridge. The great obstacle in their relationship, despite too coming from similiar places of origin just like Rize and Furuta. As both Kaneki and Touka are orphans, with abandonment complexes who therefore have their primary fear as losing epople. 

They both adapt to this fear in their own way. Kaneki pushes people away while attempting to fight for them, so he can feel validation from them in some indirect way. While this is selfishly motivated, Kaneki running himself into the ground, to near insanity merely trying to protect others is selflesss, an action he tries to do for others.

Touka herself who waited for three years, who chose the route of pasivity like Yoshimura to an extent. Refusing to act directly yet at the same time waiting all that time hoping that he will come back to the cafe.

Both of them were being selfless and trying to think of others, but neither of them were able to get closer that way. It’s only when Kaneki and Touka both acted on their selfish desires, when Kaneki spoke of his fear of losing others when Touka admitted she wanted to be by his side more than to wait at home for him to return did they actually get closer. 

#metasks #meta #tg meta #rize kamishiro #touka kirishima #kaneki ken #furuta nimura #i'm only tagging him with that one name #he has too many #this is my version of concise okay

[act1]

im curious - what are ur tips for character creation / making realistic characters? :o

wow you bet ! thanks for asking; i have to warn you right now, this is probably going to get pretty long

so when creating a character, there’s a lot of stuff you have to look at. 

it depends on what you’re using these characters for; i do writing with my characters, so i look at them from a writers perspective. but i’m sure it’s easily transferable to people who roleplay, draw, or simply like daydreaming about their characters.

personality traits are really important, and what i like talking about most, so i’m gonna start there. 

i don’t really believe in good traits and bad traits. i think any trait should be able to be seen in a positive or negative light. and i’ll take nise for example when looking at personality traits; one of nises biggest things is that he’s selfish. there’s the obvious when looking at selfishness; he does things that benefit himself and cause others harm, because to him, it doesn’t matter. they don’t matter. what matters is that things work out in his favour, in the path of least resistance. and that’s regarded as a bad thing, because it is, i mean, he’s an asshole. but selfishness has also lead him to do things like chase his dreams relentlessly, it’s got him to the place he’s at. it’s helped him brighten the lives of those he loves dearly. which is a benefit for him, and for them. 

and nise is also smart, which is typically seen as a positive trait. it’s good for him; he knows lots, he’s well read, and more than that, he’s got a quick mind. he can work his way out of situations by thinking it over, and he can use his quick wit to get things out of people. but because he’s so well-read, he tends to immediately assume other people are stupid, even if they’re close to him. especially if they’re like leucis, and don’t read much. this kinda goes in with the selfishness thing, he tends to view other people as not as capable as him, even if in reality they are more qualified. and nise also uses his ability to understand people to his advantage in manipulative ways; hailey mentioned this before that finnion, their character whom nise is married to, worries sometimes he’s being manipulated into loving nise. and so despite the fact that he doesn’t lie, he’s not very trustworthy, because he can manipulate people so well. and that’s an asshole thing to do. nise is just an asshole. 

and to go kinda into what i said above, your traits should tie together in some way. you can have a kind shy person, or a kind extroverted person, and those two traits should work in tandem. maybe the kind shy person sees someone hurt, and despite how much it scares them, they offer to help. maybe the kind extroverted person offers to help a struggling kid with their homework, and scares them away. because traits should be both good and bad, and maybe their kindness came off as too forgive. maybe the kind shy person lets others walk all over them because they have low self-image. because in real life, every single personality trait you have is going to do some good for you, and some bad. maybe you’re smart and getting top grades, but the stress to succeed gets to you and you crack. maybe your organization and tidy lifestyle lead you to be persnickety and uptight about everything being perfect.  

what i’m trying to say with these points is, make sure your characters personality traits aren’t sole good or bad, and that they don’t exist separate from eachother. 

another important thing when creating a character is fears and goals. i’m putting those together because i feel like, a lot of the time, fears and goals work together well. ill keep using nise as a example when i talk. so your character should be afraid of stuff for a reason, but if they have fears just because, that’s fine too. nise is afraid of bears because of a childhood incident with one. but nise is afraid of pain simply because pain is not fun or pleasurable, and seeing his own blood makes him freak out because that’s not supposed to be on the outside. but he’s also afriad of being restrained or unable to move, and of sensory deprivation, because he used to do work as an information broker, and never in his life did he want to feel as powerless and the people he was getting information out of. 

and then there’s his Big Main Fear, the one which affects his main goal directly. nises ultimate goal is to become a god, like cyric did. and he wants this so desperately because he’s afraid of being forgotten. of everything he’s done in his life being pointless, of his name being washed away with history. because he has such an interest in individual lives, he loves reading journals and letters from people who lived centuries ago, he doesn’t want to wind up like them. forgotten or almost forgotten. and he figures if he’s always around, there will always be someone to tell his story, to remember his name. 

now of course, your character doesn’t  need a big major fear linked to their big major goal. but i know this happens in real life a lot- i have a big major fear that drives me towards my big major goal. and your character doesn’t need a big major goal either, but most real actual people have got one. even if their goal is to get married, to get their dream job, to adopt a couple dogs, to beat or manage their mental illness. but humans (and by extension, humanoid creatures) don’t like living just for the sake of living. most people need something to strive towards. and giving your characters something personal to keep living for helps make them feel more rounded.

but those are the kinds of things you hear in your english class, so i mean, i’m probably not telling you anything new. 

backstories are important for your characters too. because in real life, the things we go through can affect us monumentally. for example with nise, he grew up without any friends. he spent his time reading, and talking with village elders, learning about them. so lots of his life was about learning, focusing on something for as long as it took to learn it, and then moving on. this affects his life now; he has a hard time getting involved in stuff. things, books, people will catch his attention until he’s learned as much about them as he can, and then he throws them away and moves on. and this complicates relationships a lot, because when he meets someone, like leucis or cieryllis or finnion, whom he actually truely loves, and wants to stick with, it’s hard for them to see him moving through people so quickly and not think he’s going to do the same to them. this was actually one of the major reasons he and cieryllis split up, because cie didn’t trust him to be faithful, and ended it before he could get hurt. 

and that kinda brings us back to fear; people do impulsive, dumb, irrational things out of fear. nise left leucis out of fear, and it’s his biggest regret. cie left nise out of fear of getting hurt again. people will give out information vital to their lives to prevent themselves from getting hurt, and people will prevent sharing things like abuse out of fear. and so characters acting out of fear, abandoning logic and acting on impulse because they’re afraid, can really add a level of reality to them; especially when a generally logical character does something out of fear, it can lend the reader a little look into their life, to help understand what drives them.

people can drastically alter your characters worldview too. like when nise met valas, when nise was still just a child, valas was the most interesting person young nise had ever encountered. and this made him realize, oh my, other people are so dreadfully interesting, and history is so rich, and it really affected his interests and stuff that way.

but people can also have negative effects on your characters. of course, abuse is something that can drastically affect a persons life. like in a book i actually just finished yesterday, a characters abusive partner used to call him a slut every time after they’d had sex, and try passing it off as a joke. and then once this character got out of that relationship, he would do the same to the other people he had had sex with, in a sort of ‘i’ll hurt you before you can hurt me’ tactic that really fucked with his ability to maintain relationships.

and character development throughout the story is something vitally important. because people are always changing, and so if your character remains the same person through their entire life, it’s not realistic. using nise as an example again, every single major relationship he’d ever been in taught him something. the first taught him that it’s important you let your partner know how you’re feeling, that communication is vital. the second taught him that the world does not revolve around him. the third, that people have different views of the world, and something that makes sense to you might not make sense to them. and that is okay. 

but character development isn’t always about them becoming better people. negative character development can be so interesting, and it’s often overlooked. like with nise again, when he first leaves the town he had grown up in, he’s shy. he’s polite. he sees the good in people, because he’s only had an outsiders view of most of the world, and he chooses to only see the good stuff. but then he gets robbed, and beaten, and he has to fight to make his way in the world, and he realizes the only person who he really has is himself. he has no qualms about hurting people- he becomes an information broker, abusing his charms for his own gain. he scoffs at the person he used to be, who thought he could help the world out. and he comes out ahead, because even though he had to do morally gray things to get there, and he had to go through a lot of changes as a person, he is in a position where he is content. 

but maybe that’s not negative enough. again, i really don’t like terms like positive and negative, but using them is easier to get my point across. 

maybe you’ve got a character who is easygoing, friendly, and generous. but something happens to them. someone steps on them a bit too hard, a loved one dies, or they have an epiphany. and now they’re rude to everyone they meet, they start fights for the sake of fighting, they do things that harm themself. and people are begging them to stop, to get help, but they like the person they’ve become, because now, nobody takes advantage of them. 

any sort of change a character goes through can help a reader to relate to the character, to understand them better, to make them more interesting, even if they aren’t exactly likable. 

and that’s another thing; characters don’t have to be morally good. i’d take a well-written morally evil character over a shoddy morally pure character any day. sure, a character who says rude things and talks in circles might not be very likable to other characters, but a reader might be drawn to them because they relate to the way they talk, or the idiosyncrasies they have. because people are rarely ever actually morally pure, and each of us have small strange tidbits we’d like to see represented in characters. 

so i’m a really picky eater, and i can’t eat a lot of food because the texture of it overwhelms me. but not a lot of characters are picky eaters, and even fewer have sensory issues related to food. but celia katchudorian does, she has the exact problems with food that i do, and i liked seeing that in a character. it’s bothersome to her family, because there’s stuff she can’t eat, and it’s not written as a positive thing. but it made me feel good to see a character like me, whos family regards her idiosyncrasies the same way my family does mine. 

so giving your characters ‘undesirable’ traits isn’t bad, because everyone has them. maybe they can’t talk over the phone, or their hands sake, or they’re obsessive about what time it is, or they have a habit of picking leaves off trees and pulling them apart. these kinds of little things help characters feel more real and relatable, especially to people who do those kinds of things themselves. 

when writing relationships, it’s important to make sure you know why the characters like or dislike eachother. especially with romantic relationships. i can’t tell you how many times ive read a book where the character talks about how their love could bend universes and turn back time and all that jazz, and i’m like, okay but are you guys even friends? think about the reasons why you like your friends. why you dislike the people you dislike. maybe your friend is interested in the same movie, and you guys like talking about that. your girlfriend has insomnia, just like you do, and the two of you stay up texting when you can’t sleep. but there’s other reasons people stay together too, and unhealthy relationships are not a bad thing to write about, so long as it’s understood they’re not to be seen as healthy or ideal relationships. a couple who is toted as a dream duo, but who do nothing but insult eachother, is not a good example of a well written relationship. but consider a relationship where person A reminds person B of person C, who has left person B’s life, and so person B has an unhealthy obsession with person A, and person A sticks around person B because they feel obliged to. this is not an example of a healthy relationship, but so long as it’s communicated that this is not to be idolized, that neither person is benefiting from this, and that it needs to be fixed or ended, it can be a well written relationship. and perhaps people who are in that situation might see it as non-normal, and seek help to get out of it. 

in real life, people in relationships joke. they laugh. they have inside memes. they can send a text to the other that just says ‘id fuck an alien’. but they also fight. they have things they disagree on, things they don’t want to talk about with the other. because no actual relationship is just kissing and cuddling and saying i love you 100 times, because no chemistry exists there. and no relationship is perfect, either. your partner might say something that offends you, or you might do something that hurts their feelings. but having characters who fuck up, and find a way to work through it, is a lot better than a relationship where everything is sunshine and perfectness. 

and this includes friendships. and enemy-ships. and even with acquaintances, where maybe your co-worker says something racist, and you start silently disliking them, but continue business as usual because you’re scared of starting a fight with them

so that was a lot of stuff. but i guess, tl;dr, human beings are flawed. people make mistakes, they’re assholes, they’re selfish, they do strange things. and it’s important to write characters who do those things too, because anyone looking into these characters from an outsiders perspective will find a flawed character much more interesting, relatable, and real than a character who is ideal and flawless.

#musings #oc tag #niobe #since i talked lots about him #Anonymous