#people who disagree with me are not allowed to express their opinions because it triggers me

[am-i-interrupting]

Hi! I love your Hazbin Hotel stuff and I wanted to make a request. If you haven’t done something like this, could you write the Hazbin characters, specifically Vox, Lucifer, Husk, and maybe Lute with an S/O (would prefer fem but G/N is fine) who has bad body dysmorphia? Like, they can never take compliments about their body, always thinking they’re overweight, not eating, etc. If this is too difficult/uncomfortable, totally understand! Would hate to trigger anything. Hope you have a great day/night!

If you like what I’m doing consider tipping me for priority requests & access to characters I don’t usually write for such as Charlie, Valentino, Carmilla, and more.

Husk

Husk will never compliment you in public after figuring out that you hate to be complimented.

That does not mean that he’ll never compliment you.

He will because he truly thinks you’re beautiful.

He simply elects to do it in private so he will be able to explain to you in length why he disagrees.

He wants you to understand why he loves every single thing about you.

Maybe you don’t agree but he will let you know why he thinks it’s all so beautiful.

He doesn’t try to make you love it all like he does but he will at least try to make you accept that he loves it.

Lucifer

Lucifer can’t understand why you don’t see your own beauty.

At least at first.

Then he realizes how close self loathing is close to depression and how they can often intertwine and how hypocritical it is to be so befuddled by your lack of understanding of his love of you & your body when he can’t understand how giving people free will is a good thing in any capacity and wow— he was too hard on you and himself.

Hello, something new to unpack with a therapist.

He definitely starts being more understanding after that revelation.

Not that he was ever cruel but he was a lot more insistent on how amazing you are not understanding that his insistence may not help but could make it worse.

It could make you think he was lying, covering up some hidden disdain with an over abundance of praise like he does with sinners who thank him for free will.

He’s not.

Make no mistake. He truly does love and adore you and every single part of you is amazing in his eyes but he understands.

He lets up on his pouring compliments and his combativeness over whether or not he means it.

He still compliments you but he no longer fights with you.

He just says what he thinks and then goes on, ignoring any expression of disbelief with a small, “A difference of opinion.”

Lute

You cannot dislike her partner.

Not allowed. No one can dislike her amazing partner.

Will spare with you when you disregard her compliments.

She means what she says.

Why would she waste her breath with words that weren’t true when she doesn’t have to?

Everything she says is said because she means it.

You best learn that.

Vox

No, no, no, no.

You don’t love your body? Unacceptable.

“Velvette! A photo shoot is in order right now!” “I’m busy!” “Well, clear you schedule!”

Velvette actually has a way of making you feel a bit more confident without seeming like she’s trying.

The photo shoot actually goes well even if you refuse to look at the pictures.

Of course, that doesn’t last long because Vox puts them up in his office, just too large and gigantic to ignore.

He has pictures of you everywhere because he loves looking at you.

Will kiss every part of you in front of a mirror while saying why he loves every part and forcing you to look at yourself otherwise he’ll stop. He records the entire thing to watch back later.

If you like what I’m doing consider commissioning me for canon/canon stories AND personalized canon/reader stories.

#vox x reader #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #hazbin husk x reader #husk x reader #hazbin lute x reader #lute x reader

[digital-delusionz]

Tw: mention of self harm

Possible hot art take? I DONT think ppl who draw self harm often (especially those with more "cutesy" styles) are immediately glamorizing/romanticizing it (at least not intentionally) , the reason I'm saying this is bc I've seen artists get criticized/attacked for the fact bc they draw self harm often while having a "cutesy" style, or people looking at things, like menhera, gurokawaii or jirai Kei at a surface level and just say that these things make dark topics such as gore, mental health etc look like "some cute thing" when that's clearly not true

Can seeing things like fresh sh scars in art be triggering? Yes it can and I understand why and do think ppl should add warnings to be safe however I recommend blocking people/tags where u see this type of art often instead of just attacking the artist bc most of the time people who draw this kind of stuff struggle with mental health and use art as a coping mechanism to express it, in my experience as someone who self harms drawing it actually helps me cope with those thoughts and stop myself from actually acting on it and personally I think people should be allowed to share this kind of art in order to find others to connect with their struggles and feel less alone.

Back on menhera/yami kawaii personally I think it should be rather interpreted as "I can be cute despite being disordered" instead of "my disorder is cute" or what ever misconception there is . Because believe it or not , a lot of disorders are still stigmatized/demonized to this day!!!

Srry for the long ramble but I just rlly wanted to express my opinion on this, u may disagree but if u do please do it respectfully ^^

#my post #my posts #ramblings #menhera #yami kawaii #yamikawaii #sh mention #art #art opinions #art take #hot take #unpopular opinion #? #self harm mention #sh #self harm #mental health #mental illness #actually mentally ill #jirai kei

[kienava]

Question about Bumbleby for you (ignore the earlier ask pls)

In one of my favorite analyses of the ship, you wrote:

“yang and blake admitting, finally, all of the things they see in each other, all of the things the other does to make them feel loved. you do what you say. you know what matters to you.”

How does Yang saying “You never gave up on people even when they hurt you. You never give up. You know what matters to you.” Relate to how Blake makes Yang feel loved? Not a dig at the ship, I just don’t get it, to me it seems just like things she sees in Blake.

hey, glad you liked my analysis! <3

to me, those lines ultimately come down to an acknowledgement of deep mutual trust. longer, more elaborate response incoming lmao

as far as "you never gave up on people, even when they hurt you. you never give up" is concerned, i think that's a reflection of how yang respects blake's ideological commitment to making the world better one person at a time. we've seen her give chances to people who have hurt her before, notably weiss and ilia. this actually goes for yang too, since blake chose to trust yang after the tournament fight where she broke mercury's leg and swore she didn't mean to. blake was triggered by that event because it reminded her of adam and how he would have violent outbursts (she says as much in different words), and so blake choosing to trust yang in that moment meant a lot. we literally see tears in yang's eyes over the fear that she might have lost blake's trust. she cares a whole about what blake thinks of her.

there's also the fact that blake came back after the fall of beacon - another iteration of "you never give up." blake left out of fear, but the most important thing to yang is that blake came back. they faced adam together. they protected each other even though they were scared. blake stood by yang's side and didn't give up. that sounds a whole like love to me.

i think "you know what matters to you" is an important inclusion for two big reasons, the first being related to the conflict between blake and yang in v7-8. it's about mutual respect. during the atlas arc, they figured out how to navigate the fact that they had different priorities, what with yang focusing on direct, concrete action by helping people in mantle and blake staying in atlas to help with the more abstract, ideological side of the situation. ultimately, they're able to reconcile their differences in viewpoints and come to an effective compromise in how to handle the situation. this is best exhibited in their conversation in the van before they go talk to robyn, which i frankly think is a massively underrated bumbleby scene.

essentially, their v7-8 conflict is a microcosmic counterpoint to the broader overarching political upheaval and eventual war in mantle and atlas. because yang and blake have that mutual respect for one another, they're able to express their different priorities - and acknowledge that one isn't necessarily more important than the other - and come to a consensus. yang knows she can trust her partner not to judge her unfairly if they have a difference of opinion.

i think there's also an angle here regarding blake's past with adam. she wasn't necessarily allowed to express her own beliefs for fear of retaliation. we've seen how he acts when anyone, especially blake, disagrees with him. when yang says "you know what matters to you" to blake, she's also acknowledging the fact that blake trusts her enough to express her beliefs confidently and honestly. the fact that blake sees yang as a safe person to talk to is a big deal for yang - she outright says she likes that blake has never been intimidated by her.

so, in conclusion, i think the lines you mentioned are an essential part of why yang trusts, loves, and feels so comfortable with blake. she's not just saying "i think it's cool that you have opinions," she's saying "thank you for telling me what you believe. i respect what you believe, and i know you respect what i believe. while we often agree on important things, i trust that we can navigate any differences that arise because we already have. and i know you'll be here to do that."

#my brain is once again full of bees #i truly think every line of that scene was chosen sooooo deliberately #bumbleby #long post #asks

[wenellyb]

I got your stance on Sam not having to cry. But then I think about all the young black men who grow up being told that they aren't supposed to cry. Black men being strong and not showing emotions is a trope that white writers love to use. I'm upset that Malcolm used it in tfatw. I see my uncle tell his son that big boys don't cry whenever he tries to express himself, and black male friends around me suppress those types of emotions. In this day and age where black men are slowly getting more comfortable to show emotion, cry, go to therapy, talk more openly about their trauma and support each other. I'd love to see that for Sam, however we got it for Bucky instead. I think that's the triggering part for some fans, Bucky gets to cry, to voice his frustrated, to go to therapy, but why not Sam? Why does Sam have to swallow down his pain and keep it moving? Why do white characters get to show all their emotions on screen and the black ones have to soldier on?

Last time I remember seeing a black character have a complete breakdown in Marvel was T'Challa over his father's death.

People wanna see Sam have that breakdown, whether it's a flashback over Riley and his parents, or Steve and the stress of being Captain America. But like you said, not everyone shows emotion by crying. I just wanna see Sam throw a chair across the room at least lol.

Trust me I get you and I understand you, and when it comes to my personal experience, this is not limited to Black Men actually, Black women experience this too.

And yes, there's not being allowed to cry (stay strong etc,..) but there's also not being able to cry because of the trauma being too big or because your body just can't do it.

Trauma, pain and grief are a weird thing and you cannot control your reactions, I'm not saying Sam's reactions are healthy but they are very realistic.

I have attended funerals where no one was crying, and it's not because the people weren't sad, or weren't traumatized, it's because they couldn't. Sometimes because if one person broke down, the whole family would breakdown. And sometimes, it's because they have been through so much trauma that tears just won't fall. When you have been through too much, your body sometimes can't do it anymore, whether you're allowed or not.

I know that the reason you mention is one big issue but it isn't the only one.

I really think it's important that people realize that tears, cries, screams, aren't the only way to express emotions. It's important to realize that the way you express you emotions also depends on your culture and background and we can't expect everyone to react the same.

I also disagree that we got to see Bucky's tears of frustrations. Because the only tears we saw from Bucky were tears of joy and relief, we Saw Bucky being angry in the therapy scene but we didn't see him cry either.

In my opinion, the show didn't let White characters show their emotions and not the Black characters. I think that fandoms and even society as a whole are "trained" to see White people's pain but not so much the pain of non-White people.

You mentioning Bucky is a great example, because the only times we saw him crying were the tears of joy/relief in Wakanda, all the other times he had emotional scenes, he didn't cry (just like Sam). He didn't cry while talking to Yuri, even though he was emotional.

During the therapy scene, Bucky got a very emotional scene where he was able to express his emotions as you mentionned, he said "If Steve was wrong about you maybe he was wrong about me". But Sam also got emotional during that scene, when he told Bucky he had no right to comment on something he wouldn't understand. Sam also got to express himself. But it went unnoticed. The first thing Sam ever said to Bucky in the show was that it broke his heart that they gave the shield to Walker, Sam is expressing his feelings. We don't see him cry or have a breakdown but we don't see his emotions, his pain,...We just ignore it as a fandom (because no tears were shed, I assume).

Bucky had emotional scenes yes, but so did Sam. So did Sam. And yet, we often hear about how only Bucky got to express himself and not Sam. Because Sam's reactions went unnoticed, but they were there.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with everything you said, but I still don't think it justify saying that we didn't see Sam's sadness or suffering in the show, because we did. Constantly.

Last point, my stand isn't exactly that Sam "doesn't have to cry" what I'm saying is that "Sam doesn't have to cry for people to notice that he's in pain". I would have been fine with seeing him cry, but not seeing him cry doesn't mean that I didn't see him being sad or emotional, because his reactions were very realistic to me.

I think it's healthy that we as a fandom ask to see more of Sam, more of his background, his History, his relationships etc, but I think it's completely unfair to act like the FATWS didn't give us some of that already, scenes where we got to see Sam's emotions.

I'm fine either way, I would love to see Sam being more emotional in the future. But him not crying or not having a breakdown isn't a deal breaker.

I really appreciate your input and hope my answer was clear, sometimes the things I write sounds much clear in my brain lol.

#tw: death #let me know what you think #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws asks

[stolz-und-aufrecht]

Some of my (core) beliefs about myself & the world

Some of my (core) beliefs about myself and the world caused by my upbringing in a toxic family system. I work on changing the negative ones; but it’s hard.

Raise your hand if some of these resonate with you.

Trigger warning (death, suicide)

I believe that every person, regardless of their actions, deserves love in some capacity.

I am not allowed to be angry. Anger as an emotion does not exist for me. I never get angry at anything at all. I don’t feel it. I have the patience of a saint and then some.

I feel like I don’t belong here and the privileges of humankind do not extend to me. Because I don’t belong and I’m inherently flawed, I feel like I do not have the same fundamental rights as others. I, in contrast to others, have to work for them. I am, as a person, not good enough to receive them. They have to be granted to me by someone else.

Seemingly obvious facts (for example, “I am worthy.”, “I deserve to have boundaries.”, “I am allowed to disagree with someone.”, “Anger is normal.”) do not resonate with me. They feel wrong, like they don’t apply to me. Incorporating them into my personality and daily life makes me feel guilty; like I’m doing something I’m not supposed to do. I feel like an imposter trying to take things away from people if I asserts my so-called rights. I truly feel like I have none and do not deserve them.

Expressing my anger or disagreeing with someone would reveal to them that I’m, in fact, no human being, but three racoons in a trench coat pretending to be one.

One should have empathy for every living being, even for truly horrible people. No person is completely evil. There are reasons why they act this way. Because I’m quite good at sensing where their negative traits come from, I have compassion for them. Sometimes, too much.

One should treat every person with kindness, even, if one doesn’t agree with their opinions and life choices.

I feel like I was born to serve. That’s my only purpose. I was born to serve every person I come upon, regardless of what they want from me. They have a right to it. They have a right to me.

No one else is truly evil, but I am. If people were to see this dark, deep abyss inside of me, where I have hidden all my anger and frustrations, they would come to the same conclusion.

Going to extra mile for people is the norm for me. Even if they don’t deserve my care or help. It’s an automatic feature God created me with. One time I forgot to do something at work for a colleague and although she said that it was no big deal, I could do it tomorrow, I still ran 2 miles back to work to finish it. I commute an hour by bus from and to work and hoped out as soon as I got off the phone with her. On my sprint back to work I got shit on by a bird. Talk about signs.

Others are always right. I’m always wrong.

I can’t stand someone being angry with me.

I know nothing. I know too much. I never know quite enough to even qualify to speak up during a conversation.

If I disagree with someone, state my boundaries, or express my anger in any way, shape or form, I will surely lose control of myself and either start to cry, have a full-blown panic attack or destroy the person I’m talking to by releasing all my supressed anger on them. I can never let that happen. I would embarrass myself and give away that I about three seconds from going completely mental, and not the carefully constructed personality that they know. That woman who always smiles, is super kind to everyone, easy to get along with and has definitely not a tragic past with family members that are either dead or in jail.

I am not allowed to be myself. I can’t make friends or form genuine connections. I must lie because no one really wants to know me. They say they do but will judge me a minute later.

I can’t tell them about my real hobbies because they are unconventional. I can’t tell them about my past, even if I have known these people for several years. They say they want to deepen our friendship, but I have experienced that they don’t want to hear about my true past:

I wanted to die when I was 5.

My father, an alcoholic, tried to kill my mother several times, chasing her with a knife around the apartment.

I can’t tell them that my mother was a hoarder.

I can’t tell them that I was depressed from age 12 to 23.

I have tried and failed several times. So I lie and keep things surface level.

I wish a had a best friend.

#cptsd recovery #living with cptsd #toxic parents #toxic family #core beliefs #healing #mental health #baby steps #its ok to not be ok #january 2024 #speaking my truth #people pleaser #boundaries #cptsd #trauma #trauma recovery

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend. #why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

[aspec-friendly-uquiz]

The results for that are kind of homophobic.... I get its annoying to never have aro ace options but like... maybe dont invalidate other member of our community?? Allo people are allowed to exist

There are some jumps in logic here. I see it often that anything that could be construed against allo (non ace/aro) people (even if it isn't!) is wilfully misinterpreted as being specifically against LGBT allo people. You may not have been doing that on purpose, but other people and other posts have made me overly suspicious.

Now let's have a look at the result from that quiz again:

So reading this, I get the impression that the quiz maker (whose URL I won't share because I don't want them to get harassment*) is using the quiz to make a joke, but also to make a point. The idea is to give aces and aros validation that we don't often get from similar quizzes, while anyone else taking the quiz gets the experience (not exclusive to us but very familiar to us) of a wrong answer.

I can't speak for other people, but getting assigned the wrong sexuality on an online quiz full of questions about completely unrelated things like song lyrics, star signs, and favourite seasons, has never resulted in anything worse than annoyance. I would hope that anyone who might actually be distressed by getting an incorrect result would know not to take an 'I guess your sexuality based on multiple choice questions' type quiz, but then again, this is the internet. I really hope that doesn't come off in a 'lol triggered!' 4chan type way. If anyone is actually upset by this, there's got to be something building in their mind that's been set off by this in a 'straw that broke the camel's back' kind of way, and that's a horrible situation to be in. But it's not the fault of the quiz maker, or me.

To conclude, if not being included in the results of a quiz = being told you're not allowed to exist... then I've been told that plenty of times. But I'm still here. And so are you. Good for us! I hope we continue to exist, no matter what anyone says.

*I do not consider your ask harassment. You haven't insulted me personally or said anything derogatory about my community. You're just expressing an opinion that I disagree with, which is totally fine.

#not a quiz #aphobia mention #homophobia mention

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Trigger warning for the following: religious abuse, sexism, homophobia, rape mention, cult-like behavior, sexualization of young girls, depression/suicide mention, religious guilt, isolation, and fat-shaming. Please let me know if I should add anything else.

For those of you who don’t have the time, spoons, attention span, etc. to watch the 55-minute video Bethany uploaded, here’s a summary: Bethany opens by saying that her DMs are open for anyone to come talk to her if they’re experiencing a similar situation to hers. If anyone wants me to link the social medias she listed please let me know.

Bethany and her siblings went through a lot of religious pressure as a child, with very sexist ideals. She was very sheltered and not allowed to make friends other than her siblings because they didn’t meet the standards of her parents (standards like no body hair, no earrings, no makeup, etc.). She and Cierra were forced to do all of the chores while their brothers did none.

She felt ashamed for being a woman and ashamed of her body. She was unable to express her opinions, or her personal likes and dislikes, especially clothing-wise. She feared that if she did she would be abandoned by her family - the only support system she had at the time.

She talks about how she disagrees with the homophobia, sexism, individuality, lack of cultural respect and respect for other religions that she was raised with in her heavily Christian household.

She talks about being terrified to talk to people in real life, and how her being so intensely sheltered growing up makes her feel unprepared to deal with the world as an adult now. She viewed marriage as her one escape as a child, a chance for freedom.

She briefly mentions molestation being involved but does not want to talk in-depth about it. Please respect her wishes.

She talks about how her body was heavily sexualized to the point of wearing even just jeans and a t-shirt was considered, in her words, slutty. Anything that showed that she had any sort of feminine figure was seen as whore-like, and she was constantly told that her body would be seen as an object of desire for simply existing in it. She has intense body issues because of it now. Near the end of the video she says that she was also called fat for gaining any weight. She says she’s been rediscovering herself recently, allowing herself to discover who she really is.

She also mentions how recently she’s been struggling with suicidal thoughts and depression because of these events, along with religious guilt because of her mental health struggles.

Bethany explains that she was trapped in an unhealthy long-distance relationship with her ex-fiance, who she had only met in person once for a week. She also mentions her new boyfriend and online friends who are a proper support system for her, who don’t require her to meet arbitrary standards.

She says her family sort of “disowned” Cierra, and that no one would talk to her, and that eventually she realized it was because she differed from their beliefs. This led her to ask if they would stop talking to her as well if she disagreed.

She says despite her deep connection to her brothers, especially Isaac, they both told her that yes, they would disown her as well.

Afterward, she reached out multiple times, only to be told that they wouldn’t hang around her as friends, only if she needed help with something or “to witness” (if anyone understands what she means by this please let me know. She uses it multiple times during her video).

She says a little more at the end but that’s essentially the key points of the video.

[End of Summary]

Here are some personal opinions of mine about this situation. This is just me talking about my own personal feelings, so feel free to skip it.

I want everyone to remember that all of these siblings are victims in this situation. A person does not do things like this without a reason. I am in no way excusing Isaac and Jordan’s behavior, it’s awful to hear something like this was happening without me realizing, and looking back I can connect dots I didn’t even see before. I also want to mention that I personally was traumatized by Bethany. Being a victim of abuse does not excuse her actions, but I now realize that maybe they weren't even hers to begin with, at least not fully. It seems that her actions were heavily controlled in her household, so in light of this news, I think I may be on the road to forgiving her. Not fully, I don’t think I could ever really do that, but I can at least move on a little easier.

I hope Bethany and Cierra are doing well during this very hard time of separating from a toxic family, and I hope their futures are brighter and healthier. I hope Jordan and Isaac own up to their actions and realize their toxic behaviors and better themselves. I hope they get out as well. It hurts so much to think that the people I looked up to so much as a child have done something like this to their own sisters.

#jess talks #venturiantale #taleblr #serious #tw abuse #long post

[natrogersfics]

PREVIEW - Game Plan: Chapter 3

Artwork by @faith2nyc​ Catch up on Chapter 2  Read on AO3

He can’t breathe. Well, maybe he’s being a touch dramatic. It’s not as if the tightness he’s feeling in his chest right now is akin to having a three-hundred-plus-pound defensive end pinning him to the ground, though Steve’s certainly experienced that enough times to know it’s pretty damn close. And just like when he’s sacked in the pocket, he’s uncomfortable – irritated, even. But the worst part is, he doesn’t actually think it has anything to do with the interviewer that’s been trying to cajole him into a cringeworthy sound bite for the last half hour.

The irony that he’s now sitting for an interview does not escape him. When the Avengers had first announced his signing, the reception was a mixed bag. There were some who cheered, delighting in the idea of him mounting a comeback and raving about what a coup the front office had pulled. Nevertheless, many were skeptical. Hardcore fanatics were, at best, lukewarm about the idea of a former NFC West quarterback jumping to the AFC East. Pundits on Sports Center dissected his ability to play pro ball again after a two-season hiatus. Then there were the ever-unescapable critics. He’s sure they had a lot to say (and likely still do), but if he hadn’t paid attention to them back then, he sure as hell isn’t going to do so now.

Fast forward two weeks, one front page cover, and a charity campaign kickoff later, and suddenly the tides have turned. Such was the number of requests Natasha had received from podcast hosts to talk show producers alike to book time with him that they had no other option but to schedule back-to-back interviews while he trains at the Avengers’ remote facility out in New Jersey. And that’s how he wound up in his current predicament – his patience running thin as he sits mic’d up on a plush leather seat in the Press Room in the middle of his third interview of the day.

“Let’s talk about your career.”

The suggestion comes from his left, where a wooden desk with a surfeit of props across the surface has been situated on the makeshift set. Behind it sits Johann Schmidt, the famously mercurial host of the streaming talk show HAIL HYDRA! and known to sports fans across the nation as the Red Skull – a moniker bestowed upon him for his impossibly sharp features and his penchant for dressing in the fiery color.

“7 seasons, 102 games played, 23,671 passing yards, 171 total touchdowns, 73.4% pass completion rate…”

As Schmidt rattles off a list of his career statistics, he steals a glance towards the front of the room, half expecting Natasha to interject that his pass completion rate is actually 74.3%, not 73.4. But she doesn’t, and he realizes that unlike the last few times she’s cut in when an interviewer misstates a fact about him or his career statistics, she isn’t doing so now because her attention is elsewhere. Or, more accurately, it’s being monopolized by the towering stranger she’s been talking to since the start of this interview whose words now have her tipping her head back in laughter.

The thought triggers a bitter taste in his mouth, and right then and there, it hits him. The inexplicable tension in his body, the irritation he feels – it’s nothing short of the green-eyed monster.

He’s always been competitive. He is an athlete, after all, and he’s almost certain that anyone would be hard pressed to find one that didn’t prioritize winning. But jealousy is just not an emotion he’s ever leaned into. It’s childish, nonsensical, and he’s seen the crazy things it’s driven other people to do. Not to mention the fact that right now, he has absolutely no right to feel it – especially when it comes to Natasha. With that in mind, he shifts in his seat in an effort to shake the feeling away, turning his attention back to Schmidt.

“The New York Avengers haven’t had a successful run in the playoffs in quite some time,” Schmidt states into the windscreen covered microphone before him. “That said, it’s still the most storied franchise in the league, which is why it’s understandable that fans may be dubious about whether or not you’re the right man to lead the team back to glory.” Schmidt pauses, his expression bordering on menacing as he leans forward in his seat. “So, tell us, Steve, why do you think you’re the player to do that?” Schmidt lifts a shoulder. “What makes you so... special?”

“We all know I’ve suffered a major injury and that I haven’t played professionally in two seasons. So, I get it,” he acknowledges. “I get why fans are skeptical to give me a chance.” He shakes his head. “You ask what makes me the man to lift this team back up… What makes me so special? The answer, Schmidt, is nothing.” He shrugs. “It’s true that I’m often associated with LA because that’s where my career began. But at the end of the day, I’m just a kid from Brooklyn-”

“Just what every fan base wants to hear, am I right?” Schmidt interrupts, practically reveling in delight as he smirks. “The savior they’ve been waiting for… and he turns out to be nothing but ordinary.”

“Perhaps you see it that way, but I disagree,” he says, prompting Schmidt to raise a brow. “Being a kid from Brooklyn means that I can’t” – he pauses, shaking his head – “I won’t back down from a challenge.” He sighs. “So, while I can’t guarantee fans a Lombardi at the end of the season, what I can guarantee is that every time I put on that uniform, I will leave my heart out on that field.”

Schmidt is stunned into silence, and it’s only when the room suddenly bursts in applause that he comprehends why the man’s glib expression has soured into a scowl. Turning away from the host, he allows his eyes to sweep across the room to see the entire crew – both from the Avengers and from HYDRA – clapping enthusiastically. As he spots Darcy and Wanda in the corner, both of whom offer him two thumbs up, pride begins to surge through him. But it’s only when he sees Natasha next to them, her lips quirking as she gives him a nod of approval, that he smiles – his earlier discomfort all but forgotten.

“You killed it!” Natasha exclaims as he walks towards her at the end of the interview, and he’s surprised when she leans in to wrap her arms around him.

“Think so?” he says, returning the embrace and letting his lips pull upwards into a smile.

“Know so,” Natasha says as she pulls away. “Oh, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Natasha moves to his side, and he looks up to see the man she was talking to earlier standing before them. He’s dressed in an impeccably tailored charcoal suit, his stature massive enough that he could easily be a tight end or even a center. “Steve,” Natasha begins, “this is Thor Odinson, CEO of Point Break, the country’s leading athletic wear brand and your new sponsor.” Her words cause the tension in his shoulders to dissipate. “Thor, this is Steve, our starting quarterback.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Johann Schmidt stunned into silence before,” Thor says, flashing his perfect teeth as he smiles and extends his hand out to him. “Seriously, good job.”

“Thank you,” he says, shaking Thor’s hand. “But that was all Natasha. She prepared me well.”

He beams in pride as he turns to Natasha, because if he’s learned anything in the last two weeks, it’s that her dedication to her job is unparalleled. Every day since this media campaign has started, she’s easily the most prepared person in the room – ready to fire off a Plan B, C, or D when necessary. While things haven’t always been smooth sailing, he’s certain that nothing has ever escalated into a mishap because of her quick thinking. If he’s had any success in turning the public’s opinion on him, it’s only because he’s been fortunate enough to have her as his guide every step of the way.

More impressive than Natasha’s work ethic though, is her capacity for kindness, and it’s something he’s witnessed time again throughout their relatively short time together. As his Publicist, she’s often the first line of defense when it comes to the media, and though he’s only been back in the public eye for a brief period of time, he’s seen how brash they can be when they press her for information. And yet, she’s never been anything but professional, even when the person before her does not warrant it. Add to that the way she watches over her team and how lovingly she speaks of her sister, and he’s not sure how anyone can do anything but admire her.

“This one,” Thor says, pointing a thumb at Natasha, “is a force to be reckoned with.”

“Truer words have never been spoken,” he says to her more than anyone else, and as she playfully rolls her eyes, he pretends not to notice the hand Thor places on her shoulder.

“When he can nail interviews like that, my job is basically a breeze,” Natasha says, turning to Thor. “Anyway, shall the three of us discuss the rollout strategy for the sponsorship?”

“Yes, let’s,” Thor says, gesturing towards the door. “Lead the way, Nat.”

He arches a brow as he follows them out of the Press Room. Nat?

Read all of chapter 3 here

#Romanogers #Game Plan #natrogers #Steve Rogers #Natasha Romanoff #One Night Stand AU #steverogersedit

[ultimatetrashgoblin]

My thoughts on Immortal Heart Society

DISCLAIMER: These are my OPINIONS. I do not claim any of this as fact, you are allowed to disagree with me. (Spoilers for Cassius and Alanna season 1)

First impressions for this series could have been better. There are plenty of problems with this series so far that I will address, but for now, let’s focus on the positives.

The writing is beautiful. As an avid reader and writer, one of my biggest pet peeves is lazy and unimaginative writing. IHS had some incredibly written lines, and I was immediately hooked even if I hated the love interests.

(I don’t have many screenshots but here are a few I did take)

The plot is interesting. While the pacing is a bit off at times, I found the concept of a corrupt secret society intriguing, and the mysteries surrounding the father was enough to get me invested.

The Inner Circle is (mostly) likable. I’m a sucker for found family, and my favorite series on this app (EAA, QoT, GIL, etc.) will usually have plenty of group banter, and the Inner Circle is no exception. One of my favorite scenes in Alanna’s route was in Richard’s office when everyone realized Alanna and FMC were exes.

Kiran. No further explanation. Lovestruck let me date her please.

For the most part, IHS seems like a promising series. But of course, when you have plenty of amazing side characters who would make wonderful LIs, you decide to premiere your series with the arrogant asshole and the compulsive liar.

Cassius Tarkhan

I should probably begin by saying I’m usually not a fan of the “rude, snarky, arrogant” LIs and read Cassius’s route solely because I was excited for the new series. So please take what you’re about to read with a grain of salt, since I am probably extremely biased against him.

This is a direct quote from me reading Cassius’s first few episodes: “I want to punch this man in his stupid fucking face.” I said this out loud, which should give you an indication of what’s to come.

As far as first meetings go, Cassius was probably one of the worst. At first it was all “fun banter oh look at the chemistry” until he sees the invitation and becomes the most insufferable pricks I have ever seen. (I’m sorry, but was that supposed to be romantic?! If I were in FMC’s position, I would be terrified!)

Most of the season went by with Cassius being infuriating and not telling FMC anything, and me questioning if I was actually supposed to like the guy I was supposed to be romancing. The villain dude (I don’t care enough about him to try to remember his name) was boring and creepy. I also had a strong desire to punch him in the face, but I’ll settle for him turning to stone.

It wasn’t until the season finale that I actually started to like Cassius. He started to open up more to FMC, he showed vulnerability, and was generally more tolerable. Hopefully we’ll be able to see more of this Cassius in later seasons, because I believe that it might save his route and maybe I won’t want to punch him in the face as badly.

As for the ending, I’ve read the final episode multiple times and I’m still not exactly sure what happened in that final scene. Cassius tells FMC that he won’t let her meet with the Society on her own and then... is he about to kiss her? This is a genuine question I’m asking I honestly couldn’t tell. It seemed like he was going to but it was very unclear to me.

If I was going to rate this season as a whole, I’d give it a 3 out of 10. Hope to see better next season, because he does have the potential to be better, but that wasn’t shown until the end of the season.

Alanna McKenna

At first, I liked Alanna’s route. I was excited about have an LI who was an ex, she was attractive (except for that weird smirk expression what was that???), she was funny, and I’ve already talked about how much I love the writing.

Then the lying started. I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with my family, many of which are narcissistic pathological liars, so I consider myself pretty decent at figuring out patterns in their behavior. And Alanna fits them to a T.

Please note that I am in no way educated on this topic and do not have the authority to state anything as fact. I am making observations based on personal experience dealing with people like this, and I encourage you to view Alanna’s behavior for yourself and come up with your own conclusions.

My first red flag was the emotional manipulation. Near the beginning, this was in the form of flattery. If FMC started asking questions, Alanna would flirt with her, which would cause FMC to either become flustered or flirt back, both outcomes momentarily distracting her from the original topic.

To FMC’s credit, she does notice when Alanna starts deflecting (she mentions recognizing certain behaviors from when they were together), but she backs down. As someone who hates confrontation, I can understand FMC’s reasoning for this. I find trying to communicate certain issues with these people exhausting. It tends to feel like speaking to a broken record, and can become emotionally draining. However, this is the exact outcome that these people want. They hate being called out on their lies, and when pushed further (in my experience), they tend to result to guilt tripping.

The flirting I could ignore. When I first read it, I thought that was just her personality (which is partially true). But then FMC stood her ground more, and Alanna fell apart. She started crying, talking about how much pressure she was under, making up excuses (a prime example of this was her saying that she thought ghosting FMC would make it easier, which I’ll touch on later), and causing FMC to doubt her (valid) reasons for being angry with Alanna.

I feel like it’s also necessary to talk about Alanna interacting with the other society members. FMC was noticeably uncomfortable with how genuine Alanna seemed to be, and I understand the feeling of betrayal of thinking you know a person, only to see them act like a complete stranger at the drop of a hat. The mental turmoil of wondering which version of this person is the real them, and whether your entire relationship was all a lie.

That part was way longer than I expected, so let’s talk about the “villain”. I’m glad that Arabella isn’t the big bad even if she tried to kill FMC, because she seems like such a genuine person and I’m tired of season WOC be villainized in visual novels (I’m not naming names but you know what apps I’m talking about Choices). I hope that FMC and Alanna will be able to help her and her sister, and that Arabella will get a redemption arc in the future and maybe a route.

The cliffhanger was actually sort of unexpected. FMC finally called Alanna out on her bs (GOOD👏FOR👏HER👏) and tried to leave the Society. Lowkey kind of scared to see how they follow this up in season 2, because it seems like they’re ready to murder FMC.

If we ignore the LIs themselves, I did prefer Alanna’s route to Cassius’s. I feel like we got to see more of the other characters, and I thought the pacing was better. But I don’t like either of them. As I’ve said Cassius seems like he’s improving, but Alanna? Nope. I’m staying for the plot and Arabella, but I’m more than willing to drop her route if this pattern continues (especially if I decide it’s too triggering for me, my mental health is more important).

Rating: 2/10

Final thoughts

As I stated previously, while IHS’s initial premiere wasn’t the best, I believe this series has the potential to be good. My main issues are with the pacing, and above all, the LIs (which isn’t good for a visual novel story centered around romancing the LIs).

Overall rating: 3/10

This is my first time doing something like this so any feedback would be very appreciated. Feel free to offer any criticisms, and let me know if I should make a series out of this! (This did take me a while so if I decide to continue doing this it might not be posted until a day or two later)

#immortal heart society #this was way longer than I thought it would be #but I’m proud of it #blaire reviews

[sweetlittlevampire]

Can I rant for a bit? Lemme rant for a bit.

1. I am kind of getting hives at expressions like "there's only one true canon" if one uses it to push their views and opinions onto other fans who, for whatever reason, might resonate more with a different adaptation.

You are absolutely allowed to pick one adaptation and see it as "your" canon. You are absolutely allowed to say "I see this adaptation as canon, but I prefer what they did in adaptation 2, and really don't like that thing they did in adaptation 3."

You are absolutely allowed to say "I take adaptation 2 as only canon acceptable to me, and therefore won't touch the others with a stick."

These are all valid!

What is not valid is taking one's view of canon as a reason to look down on, berate, bash, or talk condescending about fans who might have a different opinion, or have accepted a different adaptation as their personal canon.

We're absolutely allowed to disagree and have different views and preferences, but can we please do so with at least a minimum of respect for each other?

2. As for fandom spaces: of course we do get frustrated about certain things in fandom, but sometimes I wonder if it's really necessary to yell that much about them. Hear me out.

I am not talking about issues like racism, se*ism, colourism, homophobia. Xenophobia. Mysoginy. You get what category of topics I mean. Please talk about those often, and talk about those loudly.

I mean stuff like "I don't like how character x has been treated in abc, so I'm going to throw a fit and block everyone who as much as breathes in a different opinion."

Please, if it triggers or squicks you, block, mute and unfollow to your heart's content.

But...you know, if you see bad takes that annoy you, you can always just - step away. Scroll on (what a concept, I know!). Just don't be an a*hole about it to other people.

If I had to block everyone who ever said something that annoyed me, my dashboard would be empty.

Because sometimes we say stuff others disagree with. Sometimes we're annoying! And as long as people are only mildly annoyed and not squicked or legit triggered, is it really worth creating drama about it?

Personal feelings do not (always) equal objective truth, as a friend of mine so eloquently put it. We might do well to remember that sometimes, especially in fandom spaces.

#Sweet is rambling #Rant #Fandom issues #not putting this under a Read More bc I feel like it doesn't need one #watch me lose followers over this #whicg would juat further illustrate my point

[ayyyez]

Helloooo i looove you’re writing anyways I think there was a chitchat once about Tobirama opening up to his s/o. Do you think you can like add onto that if you can? If you can’t that’s totally fine ha ha

a/n: aw thank you kindly :) oh yes yes I love vulnerable moments with all my favs warnings: angst, mentions of sex (not explicit)

I feel like a lot of vulnerable moments where Tobirama opens up happen in your shared home - mainly late at night/early morning in bed. It’s sad hours up in the Senju household but it’s not all angst and trauma, sometimes it’s just random thoughts shared.

Before you get to this point though a lot of ground work has to be laid. It’s a ways into the relationship (you either have to have been friends with him for a long time or romantically involved for a long time) before he even thinks about opening up to you.

You have to be the one to coax it out of him. I don’t mean bugging him every night to tell you his secrets but rather, asking him questions that can lead him there. 

Start off opening him slowly. He gets so lost in his own thoughts when he broods sometimes you have to bring him back to earth. “What’s on your mind?” “Nothing.” “It’s not nothing to you.” *sigh*. This is how you begin to show he can trust you.

It starts off with his concerns for the village and it’s people. He will tell you basic things and that is your queue to ask more questions to help him solve the problem or offer him comfort in the form of listening and touching him in soothing motions. The warmth of your body soothes him most. 

He will begin to look to you for guidance. You don’t have to necessarily be smart of know the dance of politics, you just have to ask the right questions and make him voice his thoughts out loud. Unloading it onto someone else helps clear his head. 

If you are familiar with politics and have a thorough knowledge of the shinobi world then most of your pillow talk is going to be filled with these discussion. Sometimes it gets the two of you so wired that you go for another round or two. Intelligence and empathy turns him on shh you didn’t hear that from me. 

He won’t talk about fighting or anything to do with battle during the warring period in detail. There might be mentions but it’s something he won’t talk about - he doesn’t need to because you went through it too. 

The only exception might be Izuna. And it won’t be something he brings up but you do and that is only because you need too. By that I mean if you are an Uchiha or you knew/were close to Izuna in some way. If you’re none of these things and ask he will feel attacked. 

To answer you question, no he doesn’t regret what he did. There were tinges of guilt over the years but they were quelled when he reminded himself if he hadn’t killed Izuna then Izuna would have killed him.

If Izuna was particularly important to you he will feel guilty when he tells you this and will add, “I know it’s not the answer you wanted.” he sees it as a disservice to be dishonest though. Assure him you wanted the truth. 

Talking about his parents comes from you discussing your own. There’s a a particular energy in the room that night. Even the lovemaking was deeper, more emotional than usual. Like there was a longing within the two of you that need to be satisfied. 

You start telling him things about your past. Your parents, your upbringing, the reason you are who you are. He is quite taken back at how easily you can talk about these things and how lightly you can do it. 

He’s looking at you intently and hanging on your every word but eventually it becomes a lot. It’s like you’ve given him this piece of yourself he feels he doesn’t quite deserve. He pins his gaze on the ceiling as he listens to you continue, there’s always a part of you physically touching him - it grounds you both to the moment. 

This honesty and openness sits with him for awhile - weeks, months, maybe even years and then he decides to open up to you. There is usually a trigger. His brother might have said something, something might have happened to you - it doesn’t matter but he decides to take this step.

I headcanon Tobirama not really knowing his mother. His only role model was his father and we all know what that meant. He mentions it in a few words. He doesn’t tell you his feelings on the matter. But you can tell by way he phrases it, the way his tongue quickly runs over the syllables like he wants to move on as fast as possible that this was important to him.

It made him feel vulnerable. He wasn’t sure why. He always wondered about her but he was also content with how things ended up. He didn’t want her to die but the longing for things to be different in terms of his parentage died in his youth. 

His relationship with his father was complicated. He followed his orders and decisions because he didn’t know different. And while he didn’t agree with his father he never did speak out against him. Instead he contented himself from learning from his mistakes and the things he did right-right in Tobirama’s eyes. 

He doesn’t tell you this outright but you can tell - when his father died he felt relief. Relief that the weight on his shoulders to measure up to his standard despite disagreeing with his decisions was gone. And although Hashirama had is shortcomings, he was going to be a good leader. Someone he would express his opinions too. 

Pillow talk moments are plain vulnerable for Tobirama in general. Being intimate with someone was not something he took lightly. It takes a great level of trust for Tobirama Senju to take you to his bed and he is not as calm about it as he would have you believe. 

Cuddle up your body against his after. Stroke his face, his arm, his chest but don’t suffocate him with your touch. Keep it light but knowingly there. It’s assuring and grounding and it’s the rare time he allows himself to relax. This is where he lets his worries go and just exists. Exists for you and him. Nothing else matters until the next morning comes. 

#request #tobirama #tobirama senju #headcanons #hcs #hc #tobirama headcanons #tobirama senju headcanons #tobirama/reader #tobiramaxreader #opening up headcanons #soft tobirama #angst #fluff #anon #Anonymous #Ask

[curiousscientistkae]

im going to get on a soap box a bit lol. Again, I hate I have to do this but some people can’t grasp others have different opinions this is just me venting. It’s tagged as it should be, under the cut, and I am not here to like go after anyone. Only say how i feel and maybe get others to at least understand a different side. You dont not have to read this and if you disagree with me, just ignore this post, block it, block me. I DON’T WANT TO ARGUE I just want to fuckin vent and express how I feel

anyway idk I am just very tired rn with how much the internet eats up c//a and like puts it on a pedestal. I can rant about how I don’t feel like it should have it or how it was poorly written or how it COULD have been great but falls short. But what I want to talk about is

how fuckin tiring it is to see it all the time when it is fucking triggering. Yes, I block the tags on like tumblr. I am happy i follow people who like tag that and if something gets untagged i block the post or maybe unfollow the person. If i am in the tags and see it somehow or someone it the icon, I block. I do it for my own sake

but so many other sites are not like that. Fuck joining discord servers now I am a bit on edge cause lol I don’t know who will have that as an icon and if they do I will block. or if people start to talk about it, I have to think to myself “will I be thought of as a ‘villain’ for asking to spoiler it or not talk about c/a at all” because yes a lot of people will respect me and my trigger but I have see SO many people disrespect people hurt by s/pop and c//a. So many times have people put us down or say we are not abuse victims or don’t understand it when MANY of us have been abused. When many of us see ourselves in Adora or wanted Catra to get better and saw us in her also. I cannot speak for everyone but so many of us wanted this to work out one way or another and all we got was a trigger and being bullied and harassed and told our abuse isn’t real (or we are racist or X-phobic when many of us are poc or queer)

there is just like no escaping c/a and it SUCKS as someone who is triggered by it. It sucks on sites where blocking is not as good as it is here, I have to play russian roulette. Fuck on youtube ill be watching a video and BAM a random c//a clip. It so fuckin tiring

and i loved s/pop. I relate to Adora so much so and that is why it hurts so much. ive been abused, I have been in toxic relationships, and I wanted good things for Adora and yet, now I got a trigger because s/pop was so poorly handled.

again I am not here to attack anyone, if you find comfort in c//a I am not here to change your mind. The fact of the matter is so many people got hurt by this. That there is another side to the story and we have been left in the dust. And it  just is tiring to be now walking on eggshells because you say one bad thing (which guess what you are allowed! to criticize shows you like! its how we learn from mistakes and get better!!!) and then you have a horde of people attacking you and saying your trauma, your experiences as a queer person or abused person or person of color is not valid at all.

it just fuckin sucks man

#spop critical #discourse #salt #spop salt #don't read if you don't want salt #i know a lot of you know how i feel about it #and again if you like it and what not idc #good for you #but for me and many others #we are hurting STILL #and i ust wish #people would get that #and that seeing an icon doesn't fucin trigger me #q word

[babbushka]

Saying this from a place of compassion and love... if a post criticising you has over 70 notes, the author and people who reblog it are being approached by others agreeing with them, if even anons not within the fandom but who are aware from the situation agree with them (like me)... have you considered they may be right? Please listen. Please do self-introspection. If there’s such a loud message out there it’s because of a reason. Lots of love

I hear you, and I understand where you’re coming from completely, and I’m going to say this as clearly and neatly as I possibly can, because it’s been made very clear that people on the internet like to whip things up and let it spiral out of control. 

I reblogged the post that @wayward-rose made with the tags of “i still stand by everything that I said” without much more explanation than that, which people didn’t seem to really appreciate, and I recognize that that was wrong. 

This response is going to serve as that explanation. This is most likely going to be long, so I’ll be putting it under a cut, but I hope that people will read my side of things before casting judgement against me. I understand people are going to still cast judgement, and that’s fine, but I would like the chance to just say my side. 

The screenshots that were chosen to be put in that callout post about me, of posts and conversations that I’ve had back and forth with people, or posts that I’ve made/ask responses I’ve given, were confusing, because there is much more context surrounding pretty much all of these situations, as well as things that went on behind the scenes. I’d like, if I may, to explain what those screenshots are referring to, from my perspective. For ease of clarity, I’ll just go in the order of which the original post has been done. 

The Oscars where JP won for best actor were filled with many beautifully heartfelt speeches about giving support to Australia during the wildfire crisis. Cate Blanchett, Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Aniston on behalf of Russel Crow, Pierce Brosnan -- they all made speeches. And yet, the only thing I was seeing on my dashboard were gifs of JP, a known sexual predator and overall very bad guy, being celebrated for at the very last minute, likely after having seen everyone else include a heartfelt statement in their speech, tacking on a ‘oh save Australia’ at the end of his own speech. 

I made a post expressing how I was disappointed with the amount of coverage JP was getting in comparison to how little everyone else who had spoken up. @callmehopeless reblogged the post and began to say that regardless of what JP has done, his message is somehow more important than everyone else’s message that was said, because he won best actor. You all saw the conversation that took place afterwards, with me reiterating my point of ‘yes he spoke out about it but he’s not the only one and he shouldn’t the only one lauded for it.’ and her insinuating that I wanted everyone in Australia to die by fire. Not that it matters for anything, but I would like to mention that while all this was going on, I was frequently sharing support links, donation sites, and news coverage on how to help the wildfires in Australia, as we all were. I didn’t include it on the post, because that’s not what the post was really about, but I disagree with the insinuation that I wasn’t spreading information too. 

I still stand by my point that he should not have received the most praise for doing the bare minimum in a time of crisis. I saw that the conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so I ended it. I never accused anyone of being a rape apologist, I only expressed my frustration that the known allegations about him were being ignored. There is a difference. 

The second point regarding the blush, I will admit wasn’t handled well on my part. I fully recognize that now, and looking back, I can understand how my frustration with @wayward-rose looks hostile. It was never intended to be hostile, I was just genuinely confused with her reblogging one of my fics as having a “white reader” because of the inclusion of blush. I was extremely hesitant to approach TWR about this tagging of the fic, because the only interactions I had had previously with her, were when she reblogged one of my posts with writing of her own, surrounding a topic that I was uncomfortable with, and then proceeded to lecture me on what triggers are and are not as if I were an incompetent fool, which, for all intents and purposes, she might’ve thought that I was. Conversations with TWR very quickly turn to technicalities, which is why I tried to be as cut and dry about it as I was. 

With this frame of reference from her point of view regarding the whole “I have friends of color so I can do whatever I want,” I would like to say that I never had that intention, and seeing it presented that way does make me feel awful, and I’m sorry for it. I don’t want people to think that I’m in any way tokenizing anyone, because if you know me, you know that that’s something I am constantly expressing feelings against. I was trying to explain that I didn’t make up this idea that only white people blush, but I admit fully that it was a poor explanation and a poor argument to have been made. I try very hard to make my readers as vague in terms of skin color as possible, and I thought that because I didn’t mention the color of the blush (like denoting it as a pink or rosy blush for example) that I would be inclusive. I was wrong, and I admit that. 

In regards to the writing of Flip Zimmerman with catholic iconography even though he’s a canonically Jewish character, particularly by a non-Jewish author, I still stand by my point. Characters who have no stated religion can and should be interpreted as everyone sees fit, because representation matters for marginalized communities. But when a Jewish character’s identity is replaced or erased with another, well, that’s just a small piece of a long line of casual antisemitism that I wanted to bring up to her. I never wanted or told her to delete her story, I never sent anyone to go fill her inbox, I never told her to edit it. After the blush discussion, I tried to simply end the argument by voicing my concerns and saying I thought it was in poor taste to have done what she did, because of the history around such topics -- and I still stand by that. 

The posts regarding the Very Popular Fic I take full responsibility for, I don’t deny that I make them, nor do I deny any of the sentiments in them. I expressed my annoyance at constantly being asked if I’ve read that fic, if I liked that fic, what I thought of that fic weekly for months and months after it blew up on tik tok, despite having expressed my dislike for it in the past. You can only get asked something so many times before it grates on your nerves. 

I still stand by my point that seeing content which you find upsetting being the type of content that gets “””famous”” is frustrating. I didn’t imply that I’m only writing for the notes. I referred to the fic as a ‘joke’ because in the tags of that fic on AO3, the author compares it to a shitpost. Similarly to the Other Fic with the handmaid’s tale AU, the author themselves put in the tags of the fic on AO3 that they knew this was in poor taste. 

I’d like to make it clear that I don’t dislike fics because they’re popular. I dislike fics because sometimes there’s content that I find disturbing or damaging, or in poor taste with regards to source material. I don’t go out of my way to read that content, because I don’t like it. So when hundreds of people are asking my opinions about it, and I express those opinions, then people like to jump down my throat and say I’m a bully...you can imagine why I get so snappish when the topic comes up. The comment about the brain cells thing was understandably harsh. I apologize for that comparison, it’s just a phrase I say frequently, I honestly didn’t think anything of it at the time, and I’ll do better in the future to not make such harsh comparisons. 

I also stand by my point that I don’t like the fic, I don’t advocate for the fic, and it really shouldn’t matter what I think because the author will do what the author does, and that’s fine. I don’t have to like it, and you guys don’t have to like the fact that I dislike it. 

When someone sends in a message anonymously, I have no idea who they are, and most of the time, unless they leave an emoji or something, I’ve got no idea what context they’re asking me about, particularly when it comes to blocking. I had absolutely no way of knowing that the anon who messaged me asking why I blocked them, was someone I had blocked for reblogging gifs of mine. However, the idea that it’s a bad thing that I blocked someone for reblogging my gifs with comments I didn’t really appreciate (I wouldn’t have blocked them for the comments shown in the fic, usually it’s stuff about how they want to get pregnant by flip, or once there was someone who commented that they wanted flip to destroy their pussy -- that’s the comments that tend to get blocked. 

But either way, blocking people from accessing your content is not a bad thing, and I stand by my point that blocking does not always mean I have anything personally against them, but rather I’d rather just not interact with their posts/have them interact with mine. It’s really not that deep. 

I don’t really know how many times I have to say that of course I don’t own a character or anything, but I do say it, constantly. Particularly regarding personal AUs, which, I really don’t find as deep as people seem to think I do. However, the content that I make, I do believe I have some right to voice my opinion on what the internet does with it. I think that if someone comments something on one of my fics, or my posts, or my gifs, and I don’t like it, I should be allowed to block them -- just as anyone else should be allowed to with their own content. 

The comment about Ben Solo still stands, I won’t be expanding on that. 

The last point that I would like to explain myself about, was made in Hope’s reblog of the post, is the whole “I bullied someone for leaving fandom” incident. I can only assume that she means an author who I had been informed was plagiarizing my work from the fic Blue Moon. I had never had this happen to me before, but I’d been told my many other people that this author has a history of taking other people’s content and uploading it as their own, including someone that I was at one point good friends with. I believed them, and I reached out to this author expressing my concerns, only expressing to please not do this in the future, or at the very least, mention that this was related to my story. This author deleted her account, and that was the last I heard about it. 

I’m honestly shocked and confused by how many people have come forward and said that they find my responses to anonymous questions mean-spirited or toxic. I try very hard to maintain a general rule of, if you’re kind to me, I’ll be kind back. In many instances, anonymous questions come across as rude, disrespectful, flat out mean, or frustrating, and so I reply back with a less-than-nice manner. 

The last thing I’d like to say on this whole matter is this: I want to make it clear that I mean no personal malice towards any of the people that these screenshots surround. I vehemently disagree with the narrative that I send people after one another, I just don’t do that. What people do is of their own accord. I don’t ever want people to be sent hate, because firstly I don’t think that’s a good thing to do, but secondly, I get sent hate all the time, and I know how it feels. I don’t want that for anyone. I know that the collection of these screenshots may make it seem otherwise, but I really do try to stay in my lane, and I only speak up on things that I’m passionate about -- whether it’s passionately positive or negative. 

I would like to apologize for the way that I’ve responded to criticism in the past, it’s just frustrating when people are criticizing you from a perspective that doesn’t take into consideration that there might be more to the story. All I can do is move forward and try to check myself, and I hope that with these explanations, people out there will realize that when I act out of frustration or aggressively, it’s because I feel as though I’m not being heard. 

I know that whatever opinion you form of me is yours and will be yours, but if you’ve read this entire thing then thank you, I appreciate you hearing me out. Hope you’re all doing well, and as always, I truly am sending you guys all my love. 

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 22-25

Half a Life: Okay Lwaxana, let's see if the fourth time is the charm. So… gonna be honest, this episode just made me uncomfortable with the subject matter. Essentially Lwaxana becomes friendly with a man named Timicin… who is going to commit suicide as part of his culture due to his age. needless to say, I thoroughly am not okay with this. The episode does delve into it like Lwaxana reacts as you would expect and there are points made about how she has no right to interfere in others cultures/personal beliefs and how we treat middle-aged individuals nearing their elder years. But… y’know… a society that dictates that you kill yourself at 60 is… I’m sorry, I just cannot discuss this topic fairly. While I am opinionated, I do try my best to be fair… but I’m just not comfortable enough to discuss this topic in this way because I thoroughly disagree with suicide as acceptable on any level. At least not with how it was done here. That being said, being fair, I can give some praise. First, David Ogden Stiers! Heck yes~! I love his work in various Disney films, and he was excellent here! And on Lwaxana… I liked her here. Not only is her man-chasing ways with a man who is receptive to it so it feels less dumb/annoying/kinda creepy and more charming and legitimately entertaining than when she’s forcing it on Picard, but frankly I was on her side throughout the episode. When suicide is involved, someone should intervene and Timicin shouldn’t have to die just because he’s hit 60 and they don’t want to burden their children with caring for the elderly. My dad died at 54, and I never hesitated in trying to care for him. No one in my family did. But you could see Lwaxana’s pain and grief and when she broke down in the Transporter Room to Troi… God. I may not be the biggest fan of her character, but the poor woman just needs a big hug. In the end, it's really hard for me to tell which side the episode is standing with. it chooses to shoot down the middle with Timicin choosing to go through with it and Lwaxana finally allowing it… but it doens’t feel like we’re supposed to be okay with it. I get it, it’s their planet’s beliefs and whether one should interfere in one's culture or not is a legit question… but when it comes to matters like this I just… IDK. Like I said IDK if I can give this a fair opinion because again, I just don’t agree with the subject matter whatsoever and it just feels utterly wrong. Maybe it’s supposed to, but… yeah. I’m gonna be fair here and shoot down the middle for the rating because I can’t say it’s a poorly done episode and the personal bias may be affecting my judgment… but it is certainly one I am unlikely to revisit. 3/5.

The Host: Crusher’s got a boyfriend, aww~! Too bad that he ends up dead, aww… but it’s okay! Turns out they’re actually a symbiote known as a Trill in a host body and they stick him into Riker in the meantime! Uhh… sure? Is this how it works for Jadzia in DS9? So the symbiote, Odon, is also an Ambassador and still needed, so Riker volunteers to be that host… despite no human ever carrying a Trill before. Needless to say, this not only causes issues for Riker but… well, muddies up Crusher and Odon’s relationship quite a bit. This makes sense, Odon not only mentioning this detail but being a symbiote that goes from body to body can be hard to settle. Crusher does eventually decide to try and make it work despite the awkwardness because she genuinely loves Odon, who is suffering due to Riker’s body just not being suitable. It’s fine, it’s certainly an interesting concept… until we get to the ending. What causes Crusher to break it off with Odon? His new host body suited for them… is a woman’s body. Now she says it’s because she just can’t handle the body hopping and I’m gonna take that as the truth… but the way the episode portrays it, it’s more like she can’t handle the body hopping into a female body despite her saying that’s not it. I know, I know it was the 90’s and again I’m just gonna act like seeing the new body was when the reality was hitting Crusher and she realized that it was just too much too fast. I can buy that. But again, the execution makes it feel… well, there’s no other way to say it, homophobic/biphobic/transphobic. Again 90’s, but still. At least the Trill’s aren’t picky about their gender at least physically, I can respect that. But yeah… needless to say this has quite a few unfortunate implications under a modern lens. Still, it was alright. Considering Jadzia in DS9, I’m looking forward to seeing more about the Trills then. The episode was alright, I just wish that the ending was more open-minded because it really put a damper on my final opinion. It shows that for all its progressiveness, ST still has plenty of prejudices from the real-life eras that they were made in. I’m just glad that we’re at least beginning to improve now. 2/5.

The Mind’s Eye: Geordi has been kidnapped by the Romulans. That sucks… and it gets worst when they conduct a painful mind-control experiment on him. Why? Well, the Enterprise is en route to deal with a Klingon insurrection and have a Klingon ambassador on board. They want Geordi to kill said the ambassador and thus crumble apart from the Federation/Klingon alliance. So yeah, bad. Geordi is a good boy, in romantically hopeless, he didn’t deserve this! Poor guy isn’t even aware of what he’s doing and can’t even sleep properly. It especially got tense there in the end as Data started piecing everything together… just as Geordi is readying to execute the assassination. Thank God that they managed to stop him, but again, poor Geordi. Oh and the fact that there was a Klingon turncoat on board triggering the order… yeah. Looks like Duras wasn’t the only Klingon in ona. Romulan conspiracy. Geordi’s left with implanted memories and the trauma of undergoing a brainwashing that he can’t even remember happening. Another solid episode that continues the threat of the Romulans and this whole RomulanKlingon conspiracy. We’re beuilding up to something, and it’s likely to be explosive. 4/5.

In Theory: A girl named Jenna has a crush on Data, oh my! Data, despite believing that as an android he can’t feel romantic attraction, decides that he’d like to pursue this, even making a romantic program for himself. In other words, it’s The Dauphin 2.0. So first, again with this whole thing about Data being an unfeeling android. Why can’t Data feel romantic attraction? He’s been shown to feel plenty of feelings including some level of affection for Tasa, just because it’s not in the ‘’normal’ way doesn’t make it any less true. Maybe Data is aromantic, but that’s not gonna come up in a 90’s show, which 90’s standards are why this feels so wrong. Data’s curiosity on the subject and deciding to pursue it is fine. He’s new to it and sure studying/emulating what media and books say about romance isn’t always best as the episode does demonstrate. That’s certainly a fine message to express and plenty of people have done/gone through that. There were some fun moments like Data seeking out advice from the others and Worf pretty much threatening Data to treat Jenna, who is part of Security, well or else was also amusing XD But yeah this episode was cute in a few ways, but I just can’t get over that whole ‘Data is emotionless’ thing. The show has shown far more evidence for Data having emotions than lacking them? Maybe Data thinks that he doesn’t, I can believe that, but still. Had they portrayed it simply as Data, being new to love and curious about it, didn’t fully get it/wasn’t ready but was trying to force it anyways and Jenna broke it off because of that instead of using the ‘he was a rebound’ excuse? I’d have been more accepting of that instead of wondering why they even bothered with this plot to begin with. To say that Data can’t feel love and anyone who tries is doomed to failure instead of Data learning to be better over time? Yeah… sorry, not buying it. The Dauphin, despite me not liking how Welsey acted at the end, was standard but still cute. This one though? Sorry, didn’t care for it. But hey, we got Spot again, so that made it worth it! 2/5.

So… aside from the third one, not the best episodes. But hey, everything else this season has still been good. Very least I’ll have plenty to make a Top 5 Best/Worst list for S4 now. Next time is the S4 finale/S5 premiere! Yay~! S4 has been such a fun ride so far! Will the ending end things on a high note and guarantee a strong beginning for S5? We shall see~!

#st watchthrough

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Title: Lucky Me

Square Filled: Date

Pairing: Jens Stoffels/Lucas VDH

Trigger Warnings (if applicable): None

Created for @skamevents

I spent all day writing this. Got very distracted by Sander cutting his hair. Happy Pride Month ❤️

~^~

Lucas isn’t surprised when Jens tells him to come over. That isn’t an unusual occurrence. Now that his family knows about them, Lucas is there almost more frequently than he’s in his dad’s flat. So on the short trip to Jens’s house, Lucas isn’t thinking about anything out of the ordinary. 

Then Jens opens the door, and he looks nervous, and Lucas thinks maybe this isn’t the usual invite. 

“Hey,” Jens greets, leaning forward to kiss Lucas on the cheek with a twitchy smile. Lucas brushes a hand through his dark hair and draws him into a proper kiss, carding through the short strands at the back of his neck until he relaxes. 

Then he pulls away and returns, “Hey.”

Jens tugs him inside and shuts the door, taking Lucas’s coat once he’s shrugged it off his shoulders and hanging it up in the hallway. He takes Lucas’s hand and pulls him towards the sitting room. Lucas follows easily, though watches him with a curious gaze. It turns completely confused when Jens stops them at the door and turns around to place his hands on Lucas’s shoulder. Lucas raises a brow. “Are you okay? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

“Okay, so. Maybe this was a stupid idea, and we can totally just ignore it if you want. My parents aren’t home so I mean we can—if this just seems boring or pointless to you I’m sure we can find other ways to spend the time.”

“Jens, what are you talking about?” Lucas laughs slightly. “What are we doing?”

Jens bites his lip, then gives a broad roll of his shoulders and opens the door. 

The lights are off, and the room is instead lit by a string of multi-colored Christmas lights. They’re hung over what appears to be a carefully constructed blanket fort. The inside is lit up by the glow of Jens’s laptop and stuffed with a variety of pillows and cushions and more blankets, but that’s not what catches his eye. 

“Is that a Pride flag?”

Making up the back of the fort, hung on the wall and lit by the Christmas lights, is a rainbow Pride flag. Lucas looks at Jens, at the awkwardly nervous expression still on his face, and he begins to understand. He only needs to make sure. “What is this?”

“It’s a date.”

“A date?”

“Yup,” Jens pops the ‘p’, turning to look at Lucas fully with another smile. “To celebrate the start of Pride month.”

Lucas stares at him. 

Jens’s smile falters, and he lets out a sigh before taking Lucas’s hands. “Okay. I noticed you’ve been kind of...quiet the past few days, and especially today, and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I was talking to Robbe, after he posted this morning. And you always comment on Robbe’s posts, but this time you didn’t, but he told me you messaged him instead. He was talking about how weird it was, how he never expected himself to be making Pride posts with his boyfriend and planning to go to the parade and how he was a little freaked out by all of it. And I realised you probably are, too.”

He squeezes Lucas’s hands and Lucas looks down, taking in a shaky breath. He shouldn’t be surprised, he supposes. Jens has always been able to figure him out, to understand what was going on in his head even when Lucas couldn’t. He’s always been good at putting him at ease. “And you’re not.”

“It’s more that...I’ve never really thought about it. It’s never felt like a big deal. I like you and it doesn’t matter what that makes me. It doesn’t feel any different. Being bi, it was never some big hard realisation for me. I’ve never had to do anything about it. But I have been thinking about it. I know what it can mean. I know that things like Pride month, and everything, can feel great but I get that it can be scary. And I wanted to remind you that it doesn’t have to be.”

He lets go of Lucas’s hands to cup his face, taking a step closer and keeping their gazes locked. He strokes his thumb over Lucas’s cheek as he continues. “Being with me doesn’t change anything, and whatever time of year it is doesn’t change how you should be with me. There’s no...pressure. That’s not what it’s about. The people that matter to us are proud of us. We know we’re proud of us. You know that I love you, and I know that you love me. That’s all that matters.”

Lucas can only keep staring at him. Jens simply smiles back, and keeps stroking his face, and eventually tilts his forehead against Lucas’s, and Lucas leans up and kisses him. Jens responds immediately, wrapping his arms around Lucas’s shoulder as Lucas pulls him closer by the waist. He hadn’t really expected this from Jens. Jens is always a giver of silent support, but romantic gestures aren’t really either of their things. He’s heard Jens express his opinions before, knows that he can get passionate about the things he cares for, and is suddenly honored to realise he’s one of those things. 

Jens presses a kiss to his cheek, his jaw, and his temple before resting his lips there and adding, “The fact that you still need time doesn’t change because this month tells you you should be loud and proud. You are proud. And I know you’d defend Robbe or Sander or Milan or me or anyone else in a heartbeat. But you’re allowed to want to be private, and comfortable and safe.” He gestures at the fort. 

Finally, Lucas smiles at him. He draws him into a tight hug and presses a kiss to his jaw, then tucks his face into his shoulder. “That was very cheesy, and I can’t believe a blanket fort is what you came up with.”

“Hey, blanket forts are awesome.” Jens gives him a squeeze. “And harder to design than they look. I put a lot of work into this, y’know.”

“I know,” Lucas says quietly. “Thank you.”

It had been a decision Lucas made and Jens agreed with when they first got together. At the time, Lucas wasn’t even out to his friends. Since then, they’ve come a good way. Lucas had wanted to come out to Kes and Jayden and the rest of his friends back home first, feeling they deserved to know before his new group. Jens had waited, claiming that if he came out to his friends they’d figure out why immediately. They’d thought through each step before taking it together, and all of their friends and families know. Lucas had even managed to tell both of his parents without feeling like the words were being choked out of him. 

But Lucas still doesn’t feel like he’s out. 

He isn’t hiding. At school, if he meets up with the guys for lunch, he’s okay with sitting down right next to Jens and pressing a kiss to his cheek. At the skatepark, he’s okay with sitting in the circle of Jens’s arms at the top of a ramp. But they aren’t as free with their affection as Robbe and Sander are. Lucas isn’t as open and sure as Milan. He hasn’t made any kind of public declaration, whether that be in his life in Antwerp or Utrecht or online. 

It isn’t that he isn’t proud. It isn’t that he’s embarrassed. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to show Jens off. It comes from something deeper down, an innate anxiety of portraying this part of himself that people may disagree with, or disapprove of. A deep rooted fear of hurt and danger and hatred. Being with Jens almost strengthens the fear on the worst days—it isn’t only himself Lucas wants to protect, but someone he loves. He would never forgive himself for hurting someone he loves. And he loves Jens a lot. 

He also knows that that isn’t fair. Not to his friends or his family or his followers, or even to Jens, but to himself. He knows that, while he’s scared, it’s worth the risk. Jens, his feelings, and who he is—it’s worth the risk. 

He just needs a little bit longer to feel ready to take it. He just needs to take a little time. Until he gets himself into a better headspace. 

Of course, Jens does make it easier. Jens makes every aspect of Lucas’s life easier. His love makes it easier for Lucas to love himself, in a way he’d never let himself think about. 

Jens kisses the crown of his head and hugs him for a few moments longer. “So, you wanna see how comfy this thing is?”

“I’m pretty comfy right here,” Lucas hums. 

Jens huffs and steps away from Lucas, giving his hand a tug. He ducks carefully under the blankets, crawling in on his hands and knees. He settles himself carefully amongst a mass of cushions with a pillow tucked behind his back. While in the process of pulling a blanket over his lap, he realises Lucas hasn’t moved. He raises a brow in question. “Are you joining me?”

Lucas smiles and climbs in beside him. He settles in against Jens and lets him throw the blanket over their laps. Jens draws him in closer with an arm around his shoulders and Lucas lets himself relax into him. 

“It is really comfortable,” he admits. 

Jens lifts his laptop into his lap and says, “Told you. So, what do you wanna watch? Netflix doesn’t really have the best Pride date selection but I don’t have anything else, so…”

Lucas hums and considers it. “Something that we haven’t seen before? Something funny, if that exists. Or at least not that sad.”

“So, not Call Me By Your Name again. Okay.” Jens scrolls through the movies and eventually snorts. “King Cobra?”

“If I’d known you were trying to set that kind of mood I would’ve told you to just skip the movie part.”

Jens laughs. “What about...Alex Strangelove? That looks not-so-painful.”

“Sure.” Lucas doesn’t really care what they watch. He always pays more attention to Jens anyway. 

Here, like this, with Jens next to him and his warmth wrapped around him, he feels at ease. This is his comfort, his warmth, his safety. He takes pride in it, sure, but more than anything, he finds joy. The anxiety that had been building all day and over the past week has finally given way to a sense of peace. 

After a little while, he gives up. He twists himself around to face Jens and turns his face towards him, leaning up to give him a soft kiss. “You know, I am very proud to be with you.”

Jens hums and smiles at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m very proud of myself. I know what a lucky catch I’ve made.”

Jens snorts. “That’s good, you should be very aware of that.” He kisses Lucas’s nose. 

Lucas raises a brow. “You’re not going to say you know how lucky you are to have me?”

Jens hums and turns away, pretending to think hard about it, before he turns back to Lucas with a shrug. “Nope.”

“Nope? Are you serious?”

“Yep.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“You’re adorable,” Jens returns, pressing their foreheads together. “And I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

Lucas hates that he blushes but enjoys the warmth as it seeps through his chest, spreading comfortably down into his stomach and leaving him molten. “That’s better,” he whispers. Jens hums again and then they’re kissing, film still blaring quietly in the background, Jens’s laptop resting safely on a distant cushion. “Where’s your bi flag?”

“Don’t have one,” Jens shrugs, mumbling the words against Lucas’s lips. “Stole this from Milan.”

“I can see you really put in a lot of work.”

“I can see you’re very grateful.”

“I’m trying to show you how grateful I am but you keep talking.”

Jens laughs and falls back against his pillow, grinning wide as he looks up at Lucas. Lucas props himself up on an elbow to keep looking down at him, hovering his torso over Jens’s and leaning down to kiss him again. 

“Hey,” Jens protests. “I had this all planned out and you’re not even watching the movie.”

“Maybe we should’ve watched King Cobra after all.”

Jens laughs again and pushes his face away, so Lucas gives in and lies down beside him. He flings an arm over Jens’s chest and cuddles close to his side, pressing his smile to his shoulder in the form of a light kiss. Jens slips an arm under his shoulders and traces patterns on his back, content smile on his face as he determinedly focuses his gaze on the film. 

“Jens.”

“Shhh.”

“Come on,” Lucas pokes him. “Jens.”

“God, okay,” Jens jokingly rolls his eyes before looking over at him. “My plans aren’t good enough for you, I get it. What?”

“Can we take a photo?”

Jens blinks. He tilts his head back as his brow furrows. “Why?”

“Just,” Lucas shrugs, struggling to find the words. “I thought it’d be nice. With the flag.” 

Jens’s lips form a small ‘o’. 

“Nevermind,” Lucas says quickly, lying back down on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “It was stupid.”

“Luc. Hey, Lucas.” Jens places his finger under Lucas’s chin and tilts his head up again, trying to meet his eyes. “Look at me. I didn’t say it was stupid.”

Lucas bites his lip. “I don’t—it’s not like I—“ he cuts himself off, sighing. “I just wanted it for myself, I guess.”

“Okay,” Jens says easily, already sitting up and pulling Lucas with him. “You have your phone on you?”

Lucas slips his phone out of his pocket as Jens wraps an arm around his shoulders once more. He tilts his head against Lucas’s as Lucas opens his camera. They’re far enough away from the wall that the flag is completely visible behind them. Lucas’s hand is steady as he snaps the picture, bringing it close then to examine it. It’s innocent enough, no different to photos he’s taken and posted with Kes before, if not for the flag behind them and the somewhat tender smiles on their faces. Something about the atmosphere or the vibe of it makes its intentions clear. 

When Jens turns his head to press a kiss to Lucas’s cheek, Lucas takes the hint and snaps another photo, feeling his smile grow wider as the warmth in his chest expands. 

It takes almost two months for those photos to be seen by anyone but them, when Jens posts the relatively innocent one and allows Lucas to post the other and makes his point extremely clear. 

He captions it ‘Always proud to be with you’.  

Jens is the first to like and comment, with a simple ‘lucky me <3’. 

#skamevents #skambingo #van der stoffels #vds #wtfock #skam nl #vds fic #my fic