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yuzukult · 4 years

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try again, || jaehyun & reader

title: try again, pairing: jaehyun x reader genre: idol!au, angst-y (i guess) words: 2.1k prompt: you should know that I’m always on your side, please remember my answer is you. note: inspired by the song try again by d.ear & jaehyun... i tried with this one, but it got hard to finish because i forgot where i was going with it.... i guess you can call this a drabble???????? also i have not revised this my 5th time yet. lol i will probably edit this as time goes on

Every long-term relationship goes through the “humps.” There’s three separate occasions: the three year hump, five year hump, then lastly the seven year hump. Many people tackle these hurdles, some fortunate enough to win and survive, but some wistfully slip.

You and Jaehyun failed the three year hump.

The obstacle was inevitable and surviving these challenges with him as an idol, periodically on tour when part of these issues arise didn’t make it any easier. The three-year mark resulted in a mutually angry break-up, only lasting a few months before he came back to Seoul. Healed from the fall, you thought that you were strong enough to face him. It was a lie-- the moment that you saw his face, you fell in love all over again.

Getting back together was easy. The two of you even made a pact that this wouldn’t ever happen again, and preventing it would require more communication and effort. Jaehyun was your end-game, despite the struggles of dating a celebrity, and the feelings were reciprocated.

So when the fifth year was approaching, it was no surprise that you could even feel it in the air that something was different.

Coming home everyday wasn’t the same anymore. The house echoed with silence; his slippers by the door remained vacant incessantly, and his roar of laughter isn’t here to fill the rooms with warmth. Your phone doesn’t ring with a text from him asking if you had gotten home safely nowadays, and expectations for video calls have dropped to none.

Jaehyun doesn’t “come home” lately, or at least, your home, but when he does, it means arriving during the late hours of the night and leaving at the brink of dawn. The incandescent grin that stuck on his face that comes as a package with the dimples that indent his cheeks were absent from your life now. His scent hasn’t remained in the house for months, evidence to his missing presence.

Sleeping without him proved arduous. Your eyes begging for slumber but your mind wouldn’t rest with the negative thoughts that swarmed your head.

Then there was speculation amongst social media-- every possible platform, and your phone overflowed with text messages from those who were “close” to you were all of him with new arm candy, a new beau.

It’s two in the morning, and you’re fighting with your inner self on whether or not to call in sick to work tomorrow. Snatching the carton of milk in the fridge, you grab a mug settled in the cabinet before pouring yourself a drink. Placing it into the microwave and tapping a couple of the buttons on the screen, the humming of the appliance is the only sound that floods the room.

The doorknob of the front door rattles, and he comes in with newly dyed blue disheveled hair wearing his clothes from practice, dropping his duffle bag by the door and his keys thrown into the bowl on the entryway’s table. There was no greeting nor kiss as he immediately makes his way into the kitchen.

“She’s just a co-star. We’re filming a music video, and afterwards she said she was going to grab us all coffee, and I felt bad if she went alone. I mean, there’s ten of us.” His eyes hasn’t even looked directly at you, yet somehow he knew what was running through your head.

“I didn’t say anything.” You mutter, attention wavering to the beeping of the microwave.

“You didn’t have to.” He’s standing what feels like hundreds of meters away from you. The light in the room is dim, nearly as though it reads the tension in the atmosphere.

“She’s pretty,” You say before gripping onto the warm beverage before hissing at the impact of the hot ceramic against your fingertips.

“What are you insinuating?”

You’re silent for a moment. “Maybe it’s time we should talk about us.”

Jaehyun is the guy who doesn’t say much. He’s a level-headed person, soft spoken, and sensitive yet reserved, but capable of opening his heart. He’s the one you admire from afar with his breathtaking features, a radiant smile that can wipe an entire nation, with his popular group of friends, and friendly demeanor. Even when he’s trying his best not to shine in a sea of people, he’s under the spotlight. It’s impossible for Jung Jaehyun to be just a regular person.

But recently, his heart just doesn’t feel open to you. He didn’t seem to glisten in your gaze anymore.

“What’s wrong with us?” He precipitously makes his way behind you. You don’t recall hearing the creak of the hardwood floor underneath his feet; your heart skipping a beat when your back bumps into his chest abruptly.

“Talk to me.” You gulp. He’s so close-- and what it seems like have been forever since you’ve been even this intimate; the slightest touch from him sparks nostalgia. “What’s wrong with us?”

“You’re never here anymore.”

You can’t look at him, you just can’t. You shouldn’t, because just seeing his face might bring you to the brink of tears.

Your lives were so different. He was an idol with fans throwing themselves at his feet, and constantly inundated by a plethora of talent and beauty. His ambitions weren’t aligned to yours, and it’s a miracle that the relationship lasted this long. You had such an average life, working a 9-5 job, occasionally going out on weekends to meet up with friends, and spending the remaining free time by watching movies or shows. He was out in different countries, exploring continents you’ve never even been before, and meeting thousands of people almost weekly out on tour.

It didn’t help that the relationship was always a secret. There wasn’t initially any regret about it being hidden, but the insecurities eventually began to gnaw out your insides when swarms of beautiful women flirted so shamelessly with him in front of you when you’d previously gone out on discreet dates.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to be here more. There’s a comeback soon, so the hours at work are endless.” His baritone voice vibrates in his chest against your frame, something all too familiar but hasn’t appeared in a while.

Attempting to be empathetic was easier said than done when you’re angry with someone. Turning your body around, your stare sticking to his upper torso, refraining from looking into his eyes. From your peripheral vision, he’s indisputably exhausted, dark circles residing below his eyes after removing the day’s make-up from photoshoots and filming and visibly slimmer. It isn’t a competition but you were tired too.

“If... this is taking too much of your time,” The words get caught in your throat. “Maybe we should... let this go.”

His breath hitches, taking a moment to absorb the words you’re saying albeit his heart feels like it’s shattering. “It’s not taking much of my time.”

“That’s the problem, you’re not using any of your time with this to begin with.” Practicing in front of your mirror countless times before, you thought you'd recited every possible outcome of the conversation and what you’d argue to every response he had. You were confident until standing in front of Jaehyun. It lessens your assurance on the break-up because everything about him weakens your knees.

Jaehyun pulls you in, wrapping his arms around your waist before dropping his head into the crook of your neck, pressing a warm, gentle kiss against your skin. He couldn’t face you either. “Don’t do this.”

“There’s so many women out there that are better,” You sigh, swallowing the tears. He’s too great of a guy but you’d come to terms that maybe he wasn’t for you. “Someone else who can treat you better. You can’t give me what I want.”

Grabbing your shoulders, he obligates you to look into his eyes as he knits his brows. “Those women aren’t you. Tell me what you want, I’ll do it.”

“Jaehyun, it doesn’t work like that.”

“I don’t get what you mean. We’re talking about this and I’m trying to make it work.”

“That’s the other problem, I don’t want you to make it work anymore. You have to want this, do things willingly and not because I forced you to. It’s different now. I don’t think you love me the same way I do.”

He shakes his head. “You’re wrong,” his eyes are gradually brimming with tears, and you can almost hear the sound of your heart breaking, “I’ve always loved you, I never stopped.”

Jaehyun never cries. He’s all laughs and smiles but never manifestly melancholic. He was great at hiding it but never with you. Overtime, it felt as though the only mood he had was irritation and fatigue, and only his friends and fans were given the opportunity to see the beautiful side of Jaehyun. Seeing him unsteady with your decision made it difficult to leave. Even when the relationship fell apart the first time, he didn’t even seem like he cared. He wanted to portray himself as perfect-- and he was successful at it.

His hand reaches up to push a strand of your hair away from your face and moves it behind your ear. Cupping your cheeks, he leans in, his soft, plump lips capturing yours. He fit into you like the missing piece of a puzzle, and you craved for his touch. Your mind wanted to fight him, push him off and tell him that this was over with because you couldn’t take it anymore. With him pressed up on you against the kitchen counter, he’s the cause of your foggy head and you forget what your mind tells you to do.

Letting go, saliva strings between the two of you, but neither of you are bothered by it. His eyes held despair when they linked with yours, tugging you into his embrace. “These people that step into my life aren’t here for the mutual benefits. They’re all here for my name as a celebrity, they care about who I am only when it has to do with them. They expect me to be perfect all the time, and it’s tiring.” He takes a moment to take a deep breath, nuzzling his nose into your neck, inhaling in your scent.

“When I come home to you, you don’t expect me to be perfect. And I know you still don’t, you just wish I tried. You were never persistent about me being a certain way, and I took it for granted. I just thought you’d always be by my side.”

“You know that I’m always here for you.”

“And I took advantage of that,” He responds, and there’s a sudden wetness on your neck. “That’s my flaw and it’s my fault. I want to be better for you, please let me try again.”

The emotions from the past few months start flooding back, and anger fills your bloodstream, reality hitting you in the face. “What’s going to be different from before? It’ll all still be the same.”

“It won’t.” His voice is stern, and steady, removing you from his grasp. “Come to our showings, come to our concerts, our recordings. Let’s not hide this anymore.”

You choke on your spit. “What?”

Jaehyun’s expression doesn’t change; he’s serious about his idea. “I’m sorry it took me five years, but it’s long overdue. I don’t think I can lose you, you’re my rock. I need you here. Please, think about it.”

“What are you going to be doing on this lovely Friday night?” A co-worker of yours asks, reaching up to your desk an hour before you’d be released from your duties for the weekend.

“Honestly, not sure yet.”

She raises a brow, crossing her arms against her chest as she leans on the wall of the cubicle. “Hot boyfriend hasn’t had anything planned? If not, you should definitely come by to this new club that opened--”

“Sorry, she has plans.” Startled, the both of you turn your heads to the direction of the voice. Jaehyun’s standing in the walkway between the aisles of desks and cubicles that line up throughout the office, and you’re surprised he even finds yours. “Also, I’m not her boyfriend anymore. Didn’t she tell you, I’m her fiance.” He smiles cheekily, giving your coworker a glimpse of his dimples and raising the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

His hair is slicked back with gel, the blue dye washed out and a dirty blonde comes out from underneath. He has on a white button-up, a couple buttons undone, sleeves rolled up and shirt tucked in his black slacks. Jaehyun walks over to you, handing you the bouquet before bowing at your coworker. “Sorry, didn’t mean to sound rude. It’s our anniversary today.”

“Anniversary?” She glances at you questioningly.

“Yes. Happy 7th Year Anniversary, love.”

#jaehyun #nct #nct127 #nct fics #nct fictions #nct127 fictions #nct 127 fictions #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x oc #gyukultfics #ugh i'm embarrassed i wrote this #lol

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lumaejin · 3 years

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ten | zehn | 十

Bad Luck. New company. New luck. You’re getting a new manager. Finally. Your experiences with your last were... let’s say anything but pleasant, so you’re excited to have a new one. Well... only to find that good luck really doesn’t seem to like you.

➳ pairing: manager!seokjin x singer!reader

➳ genre: idol au, sm au, a tiny bit of angst?

➳ warnings: minor swearing, will be handling mental illnesses and triggering events from now on

➳ word count: 1885

The car ride to the restaurant was like always, silent. Over the past two days, you had quickly realised that the only thing you two managed to have a normal conversation about was work. How the hell the two of you had managed to talk for hours non-stop on the plane was lost on you. Even though you had somehow silently come to the conclusion that you could spend time with him without throwing up, you still had no idea how to start conversations. You were officially friends, but it was plainly awkward (though of course, it was better than before). You wanted to be comfortable around him, but memories of the end kept coming up whenever you looked him in the eye. You wanted to let your barriers down, but your mind and brain were warning you to not get too close. It was like your body was fighting an inner battle. A part of you hoped for nothing more than to talk with him like you would have before, another part of you wanted you to stay as far away from him as humanly possible. Currently, the first part was winning… you hadn’t run back to Korea yet. That was something, right?

Staring out of the window at the beautiful cityscape, you tried to keep your mind off of the person sitting in front of you. It was mostly dark, but the yellowish street lights gave the buildings an elegant feel. Stars competed with each other, trying to shine brightly enough to be seen, accompanied by the sound of the low rumbles of the car.

It was so peaceful. No traffic jams, no continuous honking, no hurried people with briefcases trying to make it to work on time. London was sleeping, softly breathing almost like a small baby.

It was beautiful.

You wished that your inner thoughts could be just as placid, but honestly, it was just an empty wish. Wishes were nothing if you didn’t do anything about them and they would never come true if you didn’t work for them. And honestly, something inside you (probably the second party in your emotional battle) was preventing you from pursuing that wish.

“We’re here,” Minju said about 10 minutes later, making you turn to look at the back of Jin’s head. He was texting someone on his phone, probably one of his friends. When he heard the driver’s words, however, he immediately put the phone back into his pocket.

“I’ve already reserved,” he said, getting out of the car and opening the door for you like a true gentleman.

You took his hand as he helped you get out, trying to ignore the warmth of his hand and the tingling feeling which was left in its place. You sculptured your face into one of nonchalance, waiting for Minju to get out too.

“He wanted to go and eat with some of his friends in London and I let him have the rest of the night off. Someone else will be coming to pick us up,” Jin said, tugging your sleeve in the direction of the entrance. You heard the engine of the car rumble and waved to Minju one last time, before the car backed out of the driveway and disappeared.

“He deserves it,” you said, putting on your face mask. It was unlikely that you were going to be recognised, but ‘better safe than sorry’ right?

As both of you entered the restaurant, Jin exchanged a few words with the manager while you looked around silently. The whole place was dimly lit, the lights tinted slightly red. There were multiple wooden tables placed around the room, and a few families were still eating their dinner. Some of them were korean and asian, some english. The smell of the food filled your nose and it immediately reminded you of your hometown. You felt Jin tap your arm as the man bowed and smiled, leading the two of you to a table slightly separated from the others. Another precaution to make sure you were safe from prying eyes.

A waitress came by with your menus moments later and as you opened it, your mouth watered at the sight of the korean dishes. You didn’t think that western food was terrible, but whatever it was that you had ordered yesterday, it had been a nightmare. Stale. Tasteless. Ew.

“Never thought I’d be so happy to see rice again,” Jin said as both of you looked through the list.

“Me too. To think that mum used to have to force me to eat just a tiny bit more of it,” you said.

“I remember,” he said, “You used to complain about it all day.”

Immediately, his eyes widened in surprise, “Oh my god, sorry. I wasn’t thinking. It just came out of my mouth.”

“It’s okay,” you said, just as the waitress came to get your orders.

After she walked back to the kitchen, the two of you were left in silence again. You turned your head to examine the paintings, trying to look anywhere but at Jin. Weren’t you past this whole awkward silence thing? You had gotten used to awkward car rides, but sitting next to each other and being like this was something else. A lot worse.

“Look… I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Jin said, breaking the silence. Suddenly, you were wishing he hadn’t. Here comes the serious talk. “But if we’re gonna be around each other as much as we will be, I think it’s not enough to say that we’re just going to ignore the past.”

You had expected it, in all honesty, but had hoped for it to come at a later time or maybe in a place where you could escape. For a moment, you thought about going to the bathroom… that would easily show that you weren’t ready for this conversation. Just as you were about to stand up however, Namjoon’s voice coursed through your head. He was right, the two of you really needed to talk if you were going to work together. He was right…

“I hurt you and I want to apologise for that,” Jin said. He was fidgeting with his hands, something he had always done when he was nervous. Once upon a time, you had found it cute and taken them in yours to try and calm him. Now, you were the reason for his nervousness.

“I’m not gonna lie… at the time, I really did mean what I said to you and I’m sorry for ever thinking about you in the way that I did. I’m sorry for never coming to you earlier to apologise, and I’m sorry that I ever even looked at someone else while I had you. You didn’t deserve what I did to you… you’d always been so good to me and truly, I loved you a lot. The woman… the woman I compared you with was a bitch and I let her words get to my head. I had a hunch that she was playing me, but decided to ignore it and… I’m sorry that I destroyed what we had,” Jin said, his eyes filling with so much regret as he looked at his hands, “I’m sorry for believing her words. I don’t even know why I did it… but I did it. I’m sorry Yn. If I hadn’t been so dumb, maybe… maybe everything would still be okay.”

Was it weird that you were happy that it hadn’t worked out with the woman? Was that being sadistic? You innerly shook your head at the thought. Here he was, apologising, and that was the one thing you decided to focus on.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me after you realised?” You were holding your tears back, using your experience as an idol to sculpture your expression carefully. Your facade was threatening to crack, however, the edges of the mask unstable and frail. You didn’t want to talk about this, but you knew that you needed it. This talk was long overdue, your own fears had prevented you from doing the sensible thing for so long. It was time to listen to Namjoon’s advice.

“I felt… I felt that you’d be better off without me,” Jin answered, his voice dropping to a whisper, “Once I came back to myself, I thought about it for a while and realised how much I hurt you. I just thought that you deserved better than me. I… I was going to apologise and then leave, but when I texted you, you never replied and I- I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, so I decided to at least let you have that. I didn’t know that you had lost your phone… if I’d know I…”

You had always sworn that you wouldn’t let a break up ruin you. It was just a ‘simple’ break up, right? A few days and your heart would be healed. That was what you had thought before getting your heart shattered by the one person you loved most in this world. A break up like that had absolutely destroyed you. No matter how many days you tried to get over him, you were never able to. For many weeks, you watched someone else live your life, a hollowed out version of the real you. You watched as everything fell apart right in front of you. Your debut...pushed back. Your normal life… spent drinking at random bars. Your friends… pushed away whenever they tried to help. If Taehyung hadn’t been so insistent, if Jungkook hadn’t been so kind, if Namjoon had given up on you… you didn’t know what you would have done. They had been your saviours from the catastrophe that was Jin. And they continued to be saviours.

You couldn’t keep the tears back any longer. The thoughts of the times after the end… they hurt as much as thinking about the end itself. It hurt to watch yourself losing to life. It hurt to watch your friends’ desperate attempts to help you. It hurt to see the tears staining your pillows every night. But most of all, it hurt to relive the emotions you had felt during that time.

Before you knew it, he was sitting beside you, putting an arm around you and pulling you into his arms. The scent of his cologne and after-shave filled you and you almost smiled at the fact that he smelled just like he had so many years ago. The warmth of his embrace calmed your racing heart, but the tears continued to fall, wetting the front of his shirt. You could feel how sorry and regretful he was through his hug, how tight he held you, how there was wetness dripping from his eyes too.

And then, something inside of you changed. The barrier which had kept you from him, the barrier telling you that he was an absolute monster and that he was going to hurt you again and again and again if you even got close, disappeared? He had hurt you sure, and maybe you were going to regret this later, but the thing that mattered to you at that moment, was that he had made a mistake. And mistakes are made to be learned from.

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yuhenglesbian · 6 years

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Sky Full of Stars

Pairing: Fan Chengcheng x Reader

Requested by: None, I’m just a sucker for this boy

Genre: Fluff (? I think?) + a little Angst

Word Count: 1,646

A/N: I’ve been thinking of this for the longest time– like for about two weeks. I’m a shameless lover of Chengcheng’s beauty spots and how they are literally everywhere and I honestly want to fight him because he hides ALL T H I R T E E N of them. And I’m sure he hides more but can’t see inside his clothes so I can’t tell. Which is why we have this fic even though ideally I should work on the requests I’ve received (and I am, I swear I’ll post those after 1st May because my exams end that day yay)

Also idk if these fit but Trigger Warnings for hinted body and self esteem issues.

Chengcheng hated his moles. He hated how they were almost all over his face and his neck– like specks of paint on a plain T-shirt. He hated it. Ever since he was a child, he couldn’t help but compare his mole studded skin to his older sister’s almost clear skin.

It got worse once he started as a trainee under Yuehua Entertainment and met other trainees. Everyone was so beautiful to him, like sunshine from sheer curtains and like the mornings after it had rained and sunrises. Beautiful in ways, he couldn’t ever see himself fitting into despite what his mother and sister constantly told him.

He couldn’t see himself as beautiful. Especially not with all those moles. So he hid them every time he had to train; very few people apart from his mother and sister knew he even had more than the moles on the base of his neck. Justin knew because they were roommates. Zhengting had found out when he walked in on Chengcheng going through the mechanisms of covering them. Wenjun, Zeren, Quanzhe and Xinchun had found out on a particularly hot day when he’d decided it was too hot for concealer and for a shirt while they were practicing.

You knew because he’d told you. You’d been the only person he’d voluntarily told about the moles. When you’d seen them for the first time, you’d touched each of them gently with your fingers as if connecting lines and he’d looked at you confused and afraid; waiting for you to confirm his worst feelings and tell him you thought they were ugly.

“They’re not moles, Fu Xixi,” you’d said instead, “they’re beauty marks. They just prove how beautiful you are because you have so many.”

While he didn’t fully truly believe that, he knew he hadn’t loved anyone– even you– as much as he loved you at that moment. He doubted if he would ever love someone as much as he loved you then.

“Thank you,” he’d responded, voice so low you wouldn’t have heard him if you had been even a breath farther. “Thank you for loving me.”

You’d smiled then, your heart aching because you could feel how much he was afraid even until this moment. You didn’t have words for him; you’d simply stood on your tiptoes and kissed his jaw right where his beauty mark was. “Thank you for letting me love you,” you whispered into his ear.

***

One of your favourite things to do was to trace your fingers along Chengcheng’s skin, connecting all the beauty marks that studded his skin, creating invisible, unnamed constellations on his skin. Sometimes, on mornings when you woke up before him– which was rare because he had practice– you’d lie quietly next to him doing nothing but trailing your finger across his skin as he slept.

You had been mildly surprised to find out that the beauty marks didn’t stop at the base of his neck where the twin marks were the most prominent. His entire body was full of them and you loved it– loved how almost every inch of his skin was covered with them almost as much as he seemed to hate them in spite of how many times you’d told him.

“They’re not beautiful,” he’d say on some of his worst days. “I’m not beautiful. You’re probably the only person who thinks I’m beautiful without all this makeup. I’d probably be the ugliest trainee on Idol Producer if the fans found out– that’s how ugly I am.”

You’d have to wait for the worst of storm to pass before you could move closer and hold him close to you while he let out all the pent up frustration and self-hatred. It would seem worse every time he came back home to his family when he got breaks in between the shooting for Idol Producer. You kept up with the show and you could see how he hid even the ones on the base of his neck– making it a point to wear only high-necked shirts and turtlenecks whenever he could.

So you couldn’t help but be relieved once he had returned home– regardless of how short his time back home was. You’d stay over at his house for as long as he stayed; the Fan household was always glad to have you staying with them– especially his mother who often joked that you were the only one who could convince him about something when he was going through one of his bad days.

You’d spend the nights in Chengcheng’s room, most of the time neither of you did anything. He’d be too tired to even talk on the nights he came back from the shootings– he’d fall asleep the minute he had gotten comfortable enough. Sometimes, you’d lie next to him and fill him on what he’d missed while he was gone while he slowly but surely, fell asleep. You couldn’t help but smile whenever you noticed how he fell asleep– an arm almost always around you, his bare chest against your shoulder, no makeup hiding his marks. Occasionally, when his face was close enough, you’d kiss that one small beauty mark near his left eye which especially didn’t get to make even accidental appearances when he was on camera– except for that one time it had and had gone virtually unnoticed by everyone.

It would always be too easy to fall asleep when he was sleeping peacefully next to you. Almost too easy especially when you wanted only to stay awake a little longer and run your fingers on his skin, feeling the almost imperceptible bumps the beauty marks created, making them easy to find even in the darkness of the room. But you’d never manage more than once– if at all– before you fell asleep to the comfort of how close he was and to how gentle and rhythmic his breathing was.

***

It was one of those nights when neither of you could fall asleep that found your fingers touching Chengcheng’s skin, counting all the beauty marks he had while he closed his eyes distracting himself from everything but the sound of your voice as you whispered all the counting.

It was moments until he finally spoke. “Y/N.”

“Hmm?” you whispered, your fingers on his jaw, tracing along the skin to the two beauty marks on his ear to the many on the side of his neck which was exposed as he faced you in the dark and tracing back to the on single one on the side of his jaw.

He raised his hand to cup yours, stopping the rhythmic movement of your fingers. “Why do you even love me?” he asked and the quiver in his voice wasn’t something you could miss especially at the closeness– it was almost tangible in the darkness of the room.

So tangible you have to get up a little so to look at him in the eye. “What?”

He looks up at you and you can tell he’s having one of those nights where he questions everything he’s ever done and everything that anyone’s ever said to him. “What sort of question is that, Fan Chengcheng?” you ask him quietly. “Is everything okay?”

And he shakes his head but he answers yes. “It’s just,” he sighs as you lay down next to him again, hand on his cheeks cupping his face, “you knew all of us– like all of us who’re on the show– but when I asked you out you agreed.”

“Because I liked you.”

“Why would you?” he asks. “I’m not Zhengting or Xinchun or Wenjun or–”

“You’re not,” you agree. “You’re not the same as them, you’re not like them.”

He looks at you confused. “Then why? If you agree, then you know how amazing they are– they’re like the sun and then there’s me. How can you like me?”

“Because you’re like stars, Chengcheng,” you tell him. “You aren’t the sun. You’re too mellowed for that– you don’t shine to daze everyone. You’re not beautiful like them.”

He’s quiet for a long time before you speak again. “You’re beautiful in your own way, Chengcheng– like how the night sky is beautiful. You’re the night sky and I love you.” “I’m… the night sky?”

You nod and run your fingers along his skin, connecting each of his beauty marks with invisible lines without looking away from his face. It’s moments until your fingers reach his face to the mole under his left eye and his gaze flickers from your face to the finger touching that mark before he looks at you again, his eyes questioning.

“Everytime I see you, I have to stop to remind myself to breathe because when I look at you– with all the beauty marks that you hide away all the time–it’s like looking at a sky filled with galaxies and constellations. Except I can touch these stars. I can hold the galaxies close and trace the constellations along their paths. I can kiss these stars.”

You move closer and kiss the beauty mark under his eye and you can feel his eyelashes flutter shut against your skin. “And that’s why, to me, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met or will ever meet.”

You move away only for him to move closer and bury his face in the crook of your neck and plant kisses. “I love you so much, Y/N,” he whispers over and over between kisses. “I love you.” You wrap your arms around him and bury your fingers in his hair, holding him against you. “I love you too,” you tell him.

It’s not long until he falls asleep, face still buried in your neck, holding you in a hug. You smile once you can hear his breathing turn rhythmic. You close your eyes listening for a while until sleep overcomes you as well.

Link to part 2 (of sorts)

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mochiinet · 7 years

Text

2) “It reminded me of you.” - 100 Ways to Say I Love You

Characters: IKON’s Junhwe & OC

Word Count: 2437 words

Summary: It’s been at least ten years since you’d last seen each other and you come across each other as you’re heading home from a long day at work. The person you bump into is your ex who you hadn’t talked to since you left for America ten years ago. Once you guys start talking, you end up heading to your old hang outs and reminisce about your high school days…

It was an overcast day, the night stars were completely covered by the daunting rain clouds, and you were heading down your usual route back home from the subway station. You passed by all of the newer buildings and bright and lively stores until you reached your more calm and quiet neighborhood. Even though it was your everyday route, every so often you’d walk slower and reminisce your school days before you’d left to New York to study abroad for college. Since you’d just finished up a large project at work, today was one of those days. Your neighborhood was old fashioned, many of the buildings were over fifty years old, and people their neighbors. And because of that, there was always something for the old ahjummas and teens to gossip about.

You had gotten off early, but it was still already around 7pm, and you decided to head to your favorite restaurant to grab a quick meal since your apartment was a mess and your fridge was empty besides a few old soju bottles and energy drinks. You didn’t spend much time at home during projects, except to sleep, but it somehow still managed to be a pig sty every time. As you walked through the lamp-lit streets, your eyes followed the old fashioned, brightly shining restaurant and shop signs. Groups of young girls and boys in uniforms passed by you, arms linked with snacks in their hands, and it reminded you of your school days. Stopping for a second as a group of girls passed by you, you looked down at your clothes. You compared the monotone blouse, blazer, slacks and wedges you were wearing, to their bright and colorful uniforms and backpacks. *Sighhh, I miss being a kid…* You shook your head a little and continued on to the restaurant.

You were still looking at the students on the street as you turned a sharp corner, but instead of continuing, you bumped into someone and were pushed backwards. “OOF,” You heard the person grunt as you made impact and you yelped a little yourself. Something dropped on the floor and you quickly regained balance and squatted down to pick up what had fallen. You picked it up and straightened yourself, looking at him. It was a man, his face mostly covered by the shadow of his hood and he honestly scared you a little. His stature was decently tall, and from the impact you could tell he was well built. You moved back a little as he regained his balance and when he looked up, his hood fell back slightly and the street lamp light revealed his face. He wore an irritated expression, but it faded in an instant when he saw you. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite pin point why. And then he spoke. “____?” His voice rang in your ears and your eyes widened. “Junhwe?” You asked. He nodded and your mouth opened in surprise as you looked at him. His voice was unique and you had heard it so often that you’d never forget it.

“Oh my god, what are you doing here?” Not really knowing what to do. “We’re on tour right now, our show was at the stadium, and I thought I’d take a little look around the neighborhood and see how much it’d changed.” He said, running his hands through his hair, trying his best to avoiding eye contact as you unknowingly stared into his soul. “Oh wow that's so crazy, what are the chances we'd see each other…” You said, still not taking your eyes off of him. It felt like a weird dream, seeing him in front of you. It’d been at least ten years since you’d last seen him and you’d both grown up so much. “Yeah, it’s been so long, like almost ten years or something right?” He said, thinking. “Yeah I think so.” You agreed. “Oh, sorry for bumping into you, I wasn’t watching where I was going, here’s your phone.” You quickly handed him his phone and he mumbled a quick thank you.

“Uh, are you busy?” You asked. He raised an eyebrow, not yet giving an answer. “I got off work early today and was going to head to Jun ahjussi’s restaurant to grab something to eat.” You explained. He checked his phone and as it was still pretty early, he agreed. The two of you headed back the way he’d come from, engaging in slightly awkward small talk. “So what are you doing these days?” He asked. “I work at a prosecution firm in the city. We just finished a big case earlier today so I got off early.” You explained. He nodded. “How about you? I don’t really have time to keep up with idol media these days.” You asked, a slightly playful tone in your voice. He smiled. “We’re on our seven year anniversary this year, can you believe that?” He said, looking at you to emphasize the large length of time. You laughed. “Time passed by so quickly don’t you think?” You said. “Honestly though.” He agreed. A slightly more comfortable silence enveloped the two of you as you continued down the street.

You reached the restaurant and slid the door open. “Welcome!” The familiar hostess at the cash register welcomed you guys and she smiled when she saw you. “Get off work early?” She asked, grabbing two menus for you and Junhwe. “Yeah we finished the case today.” You said with a tired smile. She laughed and walked you to your usual table and Junhwe sat first. The hostess was slightly older than you, and she was the owner’s daughter. You’d had many conversations with her since you came so often, and she became a good friend of yours over the years. She leaned over as you were taking your blazer off. “I want all the details later.” She said, patting my back as she left to go to the kitchen. You laughed and rolled your eyes as she walked away. “Still come here often?” Junhwe asked, looking around at the extremely familiar scenery of the old fashioned restaurant.

“Yeah, I probably come here at least twice a week.” You said as you sat down across from him. “You still sit at the same table.” He pointed out. “You remembered.” You said, smiling. “The place looks exactly the same.” He said. “I’m glad they’re still here, I don’t know what I’d do without them. The city is starting to expand into the neighborhood and I’m getting worried.” You confessed. He frowned and sighed. “Well it seems like a lot of people still come here though.” He said looking around at all the full tables. It was a bit noisy, but you were used to it and it made the atmosphere brighter. “We used to come here all the time.” He said, looking at you. You nodded, looking back at him. Slightly flustered by the eye contact, you looked down at the menu, even though you already knew what you were going to get. He smiled a little and looked down at his menu as well.

You were a bit nervous, and it was because of him. Ten years ago, the two of you had been dating in high school. You were the secret “it” couple that only a few knew about. You had been a good student, studies were something you’d excelled at and you were always at the top of your class. Junhwe on the other hand slacked off a bit more and wanted to be a singer. Because of your different work ethics, you never really had a chance to talk or even really see each other. You were in the classroom or the library, while he was out on the field playing soccer or basketball. Seeing him in class, you hadn’t thought much of him, he wasn’t any competition and he seemed unmotivated in school. Until one day you’d been assigned to tutor him by your homeroom teacher since he was falling behind in math and ever since then the two of you instantly clicked. You’d spend hours after school tutoring him, but also talking about yourselves to each other. He’d told you about how he wanted to be a singer and he sang for you one day, and that’s when you fell for him.

Your tutoring session turned into study dates and after studying, you’d go out and play at noraebangs, arcades, etc. and grab a bite to eat at Jun ahjussi’s when you got hungry. However, you’d also told him how you wanted to study law in America, and your parents applied for you to study abroad halfway through high school. Your relationship got cut short as you flew half way across the world to New York and he was accepted as a trainee at YG Entertainment. The two of you hadn’t ended on horrible terms, but after you left, you didn’t keep in touch. Occasionally you’d think about him and check out articles online, but you’d always felt he was “the one that got away” and you wondered what would’ve happened if he’d stayed.

The hostess came back and took your orders and you sipped water quietly as he checked his phone. People hadn’t recognized him yet, partially because they were too focused on the food, but also because he was pretty hidden, back to the rest of the restaurant while I could see everything from my seat in the corner of the room. “Oh, we travelled to New York the other week.” He suddenly re-kindled the conversation. “Really?? How was it?” You asked excitedly. “We’d been there a couple times before, but we never got a chance to really look around. But this time we got a chance to walk around and hang out. We went all sorts of places…” He continued talking about New York and you nodded, picturing him in all the places he mentioned. “I actually stopped by your college too.” He said. “Oh my god really?! Why?!” You laughed at his confession. “We had some extra time before we left on the last day and we passed by it on our way to eat lunch. We passed by that large building at the front of the school, the all glass one where you can see everything inside. It reminded me of you.” He said.

You froze a little and you fought the smile creeping up on your face. You laughed a little as you felt your face flush. He laughed too and you could tell his ears were getting a little red. “It was so pretty, I could totally picture you studying in one of those rooms you know? Not paying attention to the streets and people taking pictures, just your head stuck in a book.” He teased. “Honestly that’s pretty spot on, I was there almost every day for hours on end.” You said, laughing. You continued to talk and soon, Jun ahjussi walked out from the kitchen personally and served your food. “Jinnie said you came here with a boy, and I just had to see this. I had a feeling it would be you little rascal.” Jun ahjussi said, ruffling Junhwe’s hair in a fatherly playful way and you laughed. “Does she come here with boys a lot?” Junhwe asked, 100% intrigued, looking at you. Jun ahjussi laughed heartily. “Nope, she’s always alone. I was afraid she didn’t have any friends. That’s why I had to see who she’d brought.” He said.

“You’re still such a loner ____!” Junhwe laughed. “Oh shut up…” You glared at him and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Jun ahjussi laughed and pat your shoulder. “Enjoy the food!” He said, heading back to the kitchen. Junhwe was all smiles and you laughed. You guys continued to catch up as you ate and when you were done, you took a quick picture together in front of the restaurant. You took one for him by himself to upload on social media, and then you guys headed back onto the streets. “Do you still live in the same apartment?” He asked, recognizing the familiar route you were leading him down. “Yup, my parents moved out though so it’s just me. Sometimes my sister stays with me when she’s in Korea.” You said. He nodded. You were almost back at your apartment and it started to rain. “Do you have an umbrella?” He asked. “No…” You covered your bag under your blazer as much as you could and he shed his jacket. “Come on!” He said, draping it over the two of you as a cover. You laughed as you jogged through the rain to the covered front steps of your apartment building.

You helped him wipe the water off from his large coat and you looked at him as he shook his hair like a dog. He was a lot better looking and he seemed a little bit more mature than he was in high school… only a little bit. You laughed to yourself and he looked at you. “I’m handsome right? I saw you staring.” He teased. You rolled your eyes. You handed him his coat back and wiped yourself off. “You didn’t disagree~” He sang playfully. You smack his arm and he glared. He teased you again and you were about to smack him again, but this time he caught your arm and looked at you. “Yah…” You tried to pull your arm away, but he held on tight. “I missed you.” He said quietly, trying his best to keep eye contact, but you kept looking away, but your eyes wen back to his. “Everything reminded me of you. Even after all these years.” He said, embarrassed, but truthful.

“Me too.” You said. “Walking these streets everyday, sitting alone at Jun’s… Everything.” You hadn’t wanted to admit it, but he was always at the back of your head. He was slightly surprised, but you were too. He smiled and pulled you into a hug. You smiled a laughed a little, wrapping your arms around him. “I’m so glad I decided to come here today.” He mumbled. “Were you trying to run into me?” You asked, pushing away from him a little to look at his face, realizing the possibility. He avoided eye contact, and you could see his slightly red ears. “Maybe…” He confessed, making you laugh really hard. “Yah!!” He pulled you back so he didn’t have to look at your face and you continued to laugh, getting short of breath. “You’re crazy.” You said. “I know.” He said, kissing your forehead.

I’ve honestly had this scenario in my head for the past like year or something, but I never finished it, so today I revamped it and finally finished it LOL. It’s not the best, but it’s definitely better than what I had from a year ago LMAOOO Let me know if you liked it, if there are any mistakes I should fix, or whatever you want :) Please follow!!

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