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azeutreciathewicked · 3 months

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What is Love? (Masters of Sex S1E8 - "Love and Marriage")

I’m currently attempting to write some type of a fluffy, romantic fic in my writers group as part of a challenge. This has in fact been very challenging for me, because it’s forced me to face the fact that the cues that “normal” people find romantic are not only not romantic to me, but pretty aversive.

Flowers, candy, gifts, rings, fancy vacations, etc. — all of those feel like empty, transactional gestures, or emotional manipulation. To me, they are empty.

And it’s left me wondering, what do I find romantic, or at least stimulating in an affectionate way?

Then I watched Masters of Sex. And specifically, S1 E8: “Love and Marriage”. And I was bowled over by the expressions of love I saw in it -- all coming from Bill Masters towards Virginia in the context of their work. (Spoilers for this episode, references to previous episodes, mention of later episodes)

(This is all my own opinion and analysis based on my own experiences and contexts as a neurodiverse agender intellectual with cPTSD. I wanted to share some of why this show is emotionally comforting on a certain level in a way that other media aren't, even as there are many things to be frustrated about in-show and out-of-show.) One of the things I love about this show is how often they juxtapose multiple people or situations to show contrasts. These juxtapositions often challenge conventional thinking about many concepts or experiences we tend to take for granted or make assumptions about — love and marriage in this episode.

“You can’t have one without the other,” the song declares. Or can you?

Because this episode uses bookends to make its main point about Bill and Virginia, I’ll start with the negative examples first: Austin Langham and Ethan Hass.

Austin (while a very fun character) is an utter cad - fully transactional and manipulative in his dealings, not just with the women he sleeps with, but with his own wife and children. He buys gifts, often not very good ones, to try to curry their favor.

And he nudges Ethan to invest in a large, expensive engagement ring for Vivian Scully, who starts the episode singing the eponymous song and playing housewife. (Love language: gift giving)

Ironically, both Ethan and Vivian are playing their vapid roles in the engagement game, because when he tries to hint that she should dress up for going to a nice place for dinner, Vivian immediately susses out that Hass plans to propose to her. And she immediately launches into an interrogation of what type of ring (presumably diamond?), the cut of the gemstone, etc because that is how you play this game. But is there any actual meaning in this? Not beyond this. We still see Ethan’s hesitation throughout, and Vivian suffers from what I call “empty groom syndrome” - it’s not so much about marrying a particular man, but about “winning” the game and getting the title of “wife” that is sold to her by society as the goal of women everywhere.

We get to see two wives struggling in their marriages - Libby feeling lonely and taking dancing lessons from an attractive Black man who does odd jobs, and Margaret Scully, who struggles with seeing how her husband has no physical or sexual attraction for her.

Barton Scully attempts to act on his (platonic) love for Margaret, seeking out the young man prostitute to engage in some unethical and degrading aversion therapy. It’s demeaning and it’s hurtful, but for Scully, this is how he can demonstrate his love for his wife, whom he knows he has failed. (Love Language: Acts of Service?)

Now let’s come back to Bill and Virginia, who engage in every love language except gift giving.

There are two big story threads for them in this episode: Virginia taking classes on the sly with Dr. DePaul and Bill and Virginia solving the problem of collecting visual data from inside a vagina during orgasm.

Because Virginia is afraid that Bill would be upset or fire her, she doesn’t tell him that she is taking night classes from Dr. DePaul. Bill finds out in a conversation with Lillian, who adds that Virginia is probably her best student.

I’m trying to read Bill’s reaction to this, and it’s some type of surprise with something else. I don’t think he thinks Virginia is stupid (he was tutoring her in anatomy before), so I’m going to go with pleasant surprise (that she’s taking classes) and pride (that she’s kicking actual med students’ asses).

He later confronts Virginia about her classes, but he doesn’t wear his armor, as Scully accused him of in E2: “Bill you put on a suit of armor to attack a plate of whipped cream”. No, he’s soft, and indirect - very out of character for him. But the arms are up - he’s wrapped them tightly around himself.

I’m still trying to figure out the arms. Michael Sheen has two very distinct bits of body language he uses in Season 1 Bill Masters: his “glasses on nose” fidget (whether they are there or not) and his arms wrapped around him.

I noticed three times his arms were wrapped around himself - in the first lab scene, when talking to Virginia about her classes, and then when talking to Dr. DePaul to ask her to inform him if/when Virginia signs up for more classes.

I read the first time as different - he is perched on the desk, relaxed, talking about research with Virginia (his favorite things), and doesn’t seem to be defensive with his arms. But in the other two situations, he very much wraps his arms around himself as protection from… something? (We see later in S2 E3, “Fight,” more about his mentality regarding defense and offense).

I think he’s scared. And vulnerable. Because he’s not on the attack for a change. Because he doesn’t have a goal that he wants and can grab. He wants Virginia’s trust, and he wants to give her the time she needs, and his approval. This is a completely different way of interacting for him that we only see a few times in the early show with certain characters. And he’s afraid of it backfiring, thus the protection.

So when he talks to Virginia, he tries to give her a chance to open up and tell him about the classes. And while she is cautious at first, he puts everything into showing approval and care and interest, and she slowly opens up more.

And he tells her to take the night to study, because obviously that’s what’s important. While he certainly is disappointed in not being able to “do the study” with her that night, he doesn’t seem that broken up about it - because it is a straight up truth in his mind that Virginia is a good student and deserves time to study so she can keep kicking the med students’ asses. He values her education and values her mind and doesn’t hesitate to give her what he can easily give to help that. Even if he is putting on a front of being happy for her and hiding his disappointment, the fact that he is willing to do this should speak volumes to anyone familiar with masking and emotional labor. He’s doing emotional labor for her at the worst, which is huge for this character at this point. (Love Language: Quality Time - for Virginia to study, Words of Affirmation - her education is important and valuable)

In this phase of the show, and the time period, we see NO OTHER MEN valuing women for their intellectual pursuits (and usually no other women either). Bill Masters is the oddity here. Maybe he’s doing it from a type of love for Virginia specifically, but I think it’s the other way around — he loves Virginia because he can see her mind and appreciate it. Intellectual attraction. (I might go so far as to suggest that Bill here could be considered an intellectual flavor of demisexual - as the subtext around his refractory periods indicates)

So what is he doing talking to Lillian later? When he says that he wants to know if Virginia signs up for more classes because she tends to overload her plate. He doesn’t actually say what he intends to do with that information.

He goes from hands in pockets to arms crossed when DePaul speculates that “her course work is getting in the way”, and Bill emphasizes that the study is important.

Then when Lillian says that if she got her credentials, she could just walk away. And he just holds this expression:

I’ve generally noticed that unless he’s under immediate threat or looking at Virginia, he tends to hold his expressions quite a bit (masking?), though you can see the wheels turning behind it.

He just lets Lillian conjecture that he wants to limit Virginia. I don’t think he does, at least at this point. I think that he has seen Virginia in these past episodes taking on too much, and burning herself out trying to care for her kids, do her job, and now take classes. And he legitimately cares about her, and wants to know what’s going on so he can do what he can to help her manage (again, my inference). So why does he let Lillian assume the worst? Because the alternative is to let Lillian know how much he cares about Virginia, and that’s too dangerous. So he lets Lillian paint him as a selfish man to protect the truth. (Love Language: Acts of Service)

Now, the lab scenes and Bill’s refractory period:

Their first significant scene together in the episode is “post-data-gathering” (Love Language: physical touch. See more in Ep. 7), where they discuss how to communicate the impact of their research while in the robes. They both lament how boring talking about cardiac numbers is. Bill checks his stopwatch a couple times. He then moves out to the bed and starts fluffing the pillows and tenderly smoothing them out while talking. (Love Language: Acts of Service)

Shortly after, he stops his timer and announces the end of his refractory period - 16 minutes, 33 seconds.

And then we see this vulnerable look on his face as he looks at Virginia when she doesn’t join him for another “data-gathering session.” But he immediately acquiesces and accepts her “no” quickly and with grace (which is again, something that seems normal to us, or should, but was not always the case back then. Was it his lack of confidence or respect for Virginia? Probably both, but still notable). Also note his body language compared to most men on this show.

We return to this in the end of the episode, after they have solved the problem of collecting visual data from inside a vagina as the owner orgasms. Virginia comments on how she’s an outsider in the class, and an outsider in most places. Bill offers, “But not here” (Love Language: Words of Affirmation), and gives her a look of such open affection it’s overwhelming to see. Also, his voice goes up almost an octave when in “sweet mode” with Virginia, both in talking about her classes and in this scene, crooning in a way we haven’t heard up until now (and didn’t think he was capable of).

He is also in refractory period (checking his stopwatch habitually), and they set up the film and watch it.

He soon announces that his refractory period is over (11 minutes and 3 seconds, shorter than before, possibly coincidental, but I don’t think so), and Virginia jokes about him being aroused by the footage. But that’s not it .He was looking at Virginia when he noticed. It’s about sharing this world first experience with her — that together they made this happen.

“No! It’s not the footage. It’s the fact that we’re the only two people in the world who’ve seen it.” (Love Language: Quality Time? I think this is something more - Shared Accomplishment)

This brings me back to S1 E2 - “Race to Space” - where Virginia looks at her son’s comic about the man in space, all alone. And the show deliberately cuts back to Bill - showing us how alone and isolated he is in his quest for knowledge, and showing us that Virginia sees this too. He is over the moon to have someone who values this work and to share it with. And I think that every other feeling or agenda is simply dragged along with this completely unfamiliar and overwhelming surge of feeling – we’ll see that he doesn’t know how to deal with it in a healthy or well-balanced way, both because he doesn’t have the internal ability to or any social guidance on it.

This is love to me. It’s not the only kind of love. But it is most definitely love in multiple layers and expressions.

Fluffing the pillows with extra care while discussing the mission, because it’s only natural to want your partner comfortable.

Making their priorities your priorities, and trying to be safe enough so they can share them with you.

Seeing them as someone who belongs, taking joy in giving them a place to belong

Being open and joyful about sharing something you did together.

These don’t fit in a jewelry box, and they don’t have a formula. But this is the true joy and love of this episode, and it’s a type of love (along with all the baggage and difficulties) that is at the core of this show between the two main characters.

I get that today it seems weird, but for back then — the sheer love based in respect radiating from Bill throughout this episode towards Virginia is so palpable it makes me emotional. Damn you, Michael Sheen, for turning on “love” like that (see also: Good Omens Aziraphale). And I accept that it may just be me being a weirdo who sees emotional connection in different things (I am prior military, which I learned fucks up your dating life with civilians afterwards in a number of ways).

What makes these so hard to write is that it’s hard to find an easy symbol or script to use as a shorthand. This type of love needs a journey, usually a difficult one - full of loneliness, exclusion, failure, struggle.

This reminds me of another pairing forged in struggle - Logan and Veronica in Veronica Mars (S2 E20 - "Look Who's Stalking")

Logan: I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.

Veronica: Epic how?

Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. EPIC.

Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?

Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy

And before that, Angel and Cordelia, with Kyrumption, which means: "two great heroes come together”. (Joss Whedon terribleness aside, I have to acknowledge this amazing concept).

Fortunately, Bill and Virginia don’t quite have to deal with bloodshed. But the rest? Absolutely.

(Spoilers for the rest of the show)

And they fought each other, oh how they fought each other throughout the show - hurting each other constantly because they felt too much and were scared, and were limited by circumstances in what options they had.

But this is the type of love I can write about, because it matters to me. Because it feels true to me. And it is what I will go back to writing next.

Foreshadowing note:

“Funding, a process that will leave you feeling like the Minotaur in the maze” - Asterion reference? (S2 E7)

#masters of sex #bill masters #michael sheen #lizzy caplan #michael fucking sheen #michael acting choices sheen #masters of sex 0108 #love and marriage #intellectual love #philos

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