#please someone take the internet away from me

[izzyreadingblog]

I didn't knew love (till I found you) (1)

Alexia Putellas x Reader

tags: Angst / Internalized Homophobia/ Strangers to Friends to Lovers

“What do you mean, you want me to buy the Soulmater? Do you know how much it costs?" Robert’s voice was tinged with disbelief.

Yes, of course you knew. The device cost was astronomical, but that paled in comparison to the turmoil churning inside yourself. You needed to be completely sure of your decision to marry your long time boyfriend Mark. It wasn’t just cold feet; it was a gnawing uncertainty that clawed at your heart and hasn't stopped worrying you for some time now.

“You can take the money from my share of the inheritance. I don't care about that Robert, but please help me with this, I’ve never asked you for anything before,” you implored, your eyes brimming with a mix of desperation and hope. You approached your brother and grasped his hands, forcing him to look into your eyes. “I need to know. I need to be sure about this, please Rob help me.”

Robert’s gaze softened at your words, but his words remained firm. “If you really need to know then that means Mark isn’t your soulmate. If he were, you wouldn’t be so consumed with doubt and worries.”

“I don’t know, it’s just that something has been feeling off for a time now…” you shook your head, a gesture of frustration and confusion, unable to articulate the storm of emotions inside you.

“Why don’t you go buy it yourself then? You’re old enough to make your own decisions; you don’t need to drag me into this, I don’t want to get involved.” He pulled away from your grasp and stood up, ready to leave the room and the weight of your request behind.

“I don’t want Mark to find out and you are the only person I trust to do this. Robert, please, do this for me. I promise never to ask you for anything else.” you mustered your most convincing expression, the one you knew your brother couldn’t resist. And just like that, you saw the familiar resignation in his eyes. Despite his protests, he would be always there for you no matter what.

“Okay I would do it, but this is the last crazy thing I do for you.” The both of you knew it was a lie, but it didn’t matter. You lunged forward, enveloping him in a hug, your smile radiating pure joy. “I’ll stop by after work and bring it to you tonight.”

“Thank you, thank you! I love you so much; you are the best brother in the world,” you exclaimed, your gratitude genuine and boundless.

Once Robert had left, a wave of anxiety washed over you. What if Mark wasn’t your soulmate? What if your true match was already married to someone else? Or what if he was single? Would you have the courage to introduce yourself as his soulmate, hoping for a fairy-tale ending?. Taking a deep breath, you tried to lower down the rising panic. There were too many questions and too many uncertainties, so you decided to scour the internet for stories of others who had used the Soulmater, seeking guidance for the myriad of potential outcomes that would come once you know the name of your soulmate.

The Soulmater, according to its creators, was an infallible computer algorithm that boasted a 100% success rate every time. The device itself was really simple: a screen where one entered their name and date of birth, and within moments, the name and birthdate of their soulmate appeared. It has a hefty price tag of $100,000 so it’s meant only for a few who had the means to try it, but those who did were unanimous in their praise. Upon meeting their soulmate, they were instantly certain the device had not failed. You found nothing but happy endings in the reviews, save for one heart-wrenching account of a man whose soulmate had passed away before they could meet. A chill ran down your spine, and instantly you regretted delving into these stories. Now, your doubts hadn’t been calmed, they had multiplied.

Your phone buzzed with a message from Mark: ‘Where are you? We’ve been waiting for you for half an hour!!!’

You had completely forgotten about the meeting you had planned with your boyfriend and your future mother-in-law to set the wedding date. ‘I had to take care of something important at home. I’ll be there in 10 minutes,’ you replied, your heart not in it.

When you arrived at the coffee shop, the sight of Mark sitting alone stirred a sense of nervousness. A tight knot formed in your stomach, the kind that no amount of rational thought could untangle.

“Hey baby, where's your mother?” you asked, planting a kiss on his cheek, trying to mask your concern with a casual greeting. The kiss was a mere formality, a gesture devoid of the affection it once carried.

“She left a while ago! you know my mom is too important a person for you to be wasting her time,” Mark replied, his tone laced with irritation. His words stung you, a verbal slap that echoed the growing distance that exists between the both of you.

But you didn't let those words stop you and unfazed, you countered, “Well, we can decide on the wedding date ourselves.” you signaled the waiter to bring her the same drink Mark had, seeking some semblance of normalcy. Cause normalcy was a facade, a thin veneer over the chaos of your inner thoughts and worries.

“There is no need for that, we've already decided,” Mark declared, his voice cutting through the hum of the coffee shop.

Confusion clouded your face. “What do you mean is already decided?” you asked, your voice a mix of surprise and apprehension.

“The date will be June 25, there’s nothing else to decide about that” he stated matter-of-factly, as if he were discussing the weather, not your future.

“But that's in less than a month!” Panic rose in your voice, a crescendo of fear and disbelief. It was too soon; you wouldn't have time to prepare everything. The words 'too soon' echoed in your mind, a cruel reminder of the rushed decisions that had led you here with little chance to change anything.

“Please, the only thing we need to do is show up on the wedding day. Leave the rest to my mother, she knows what she does and she is excellent at making events” he dismissed your concerns with a wave of his hand. His indifference was a chasm that widened with every word he spoke.

You clenched your fists under the table, struggling to contain your frustration. “It's my wedding too, and I want a say in how it's going to be. I think I have the right to decide what I want for my wedding too.” Your voice was firm.

“Don't get upset. I'll ask my mom to involve you as much as possible. You can choose the venue, the catering, everything you want, my love. But the wedding will be on June 25. That's final.” His words were a gavel, pounding the final nail into the coffin of your hopes.

The coffee shop was a quaint little place, nestled in the heart of the city, its walls adorned with vintage posters and shelves lined with an assortment of colorful mugs. The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans mingled with the scent of baked goods, creating a cozy atmosphere that usually brought comfort to her. Today, however, the familiar setting did nothing to ease the turmoil within. As you sat across from Mark, your mind replayed the events leading up to this moment. You remembered the countless times you had walked through these doors, hand in hand with Mark, laughing and planning your future together. But now, as you gazed out of the window, watching the world go by, you felt a disconnection from those memories. They seemed like scenes from someone else’s life, not yours. Mark was talking, but his words were a distant hum in your ears, you watched his lips move, observed the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and yet, you felt an inexplicable void. 

You thought about the Soulmater, that small, unassuming device that promised to unveil the mysteries of the heart. It was absurd, really, to place so much faith in a piece of technology. And yet, the possibility of discovering a connection so profound, so intrinsic, that it could be deemed a ‘soulmate,’ was too tantalizing to ignore. Your thoughts were interrupted by the waiter, who arrived with your drink, a caramel macchiato, the foam artfully swirled on top. You thanked him with a smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. As you took a sip, the sweetness of the caramel was a stark contrast to the bitterness that lingered on your tongue from the conversation. Mark’s impatience was palpable. He checked his watch, tapped his foot, and sighed heavily, all signs that he was ready to move on from the coffee shop and from the topic at hand. You knew you should be present, should engage in the discussion about your impending nuptials, but your heart was elsewhere, lost in a sea of what-ifs and maybes. 

The coffee shop began to fill up, the lunchtime crowd bringing with it a buzz of activity. Couples sat at nearby tables, some in deep conversation, others comfortable in their silence. You envied them, envied their certainty and the ease with which they seemed to fit into each other’s lives. As the afternoon wore on, the sunlight shifted, casting long shadows across the floor. The change in light marked the passage of time, a reminder that life was moving forward, with or without your consent. You glanced at Mark again, trying to picture your future together, but the image was hazy, obscured by doubt. 

When the time came to leave, you followed Mark out of the coffee shop, the bell above the door jingling in their wake. The city streets were bustling, people rushing about their day, oblivious to the internal struggle that weighed heavily on your shoulders. Going back home was a blur, your mind preoccupied with the Soulmater and how a name can change her life upside down. As you approached your apartment, the sight of Robert’s car was a beacon of hope. You quickened your pace, eager to close the distance between you and the answers that lay within the small, silver package he had procured for you. 

“Did you get it?” you asked Robert, your voice trembling with anticipation.

“Yes, take it easy,” he reassured you, holding up the bag. “Let's go to your room.” His calmness was an anchor in the storm of your emotions.

Inside, Robert handed you the silver package. The Soulmater was smaller than you expected, fitting snugly in your palm. It was unassuming, yet it held the power to alter the course of your life. You hesitated before pressing the power button, your finger hovering over the decision that would unveil your heart's true desire.

The familiarity of your own space was a stark contrast to the chaos of your emotions. The walls held memories of laughter and tears, of dreams and plans made. It was here, in the sanctity of your room, that you would take the leap into the unknown. 

“What's wrong? Do you want me to leave you alone?” Robert asked, sensing your hesitation.

“No, it's just... I'm scared,” you admitted, meeting his understanding gaze. The fear was a tangible thing, a shadow that loomed over you.

“Whatever the result, it'll be okay. Remember, you can return it unused,” he reminded her. His words were a lifeline, a reminder that no matter the outcome, you had the power to choose your path. Robert’s presence was a steadying force, together, you both sat on the edge of your bed. With each passing second, the anticipation built, a crescendo of hope and fear that threatened to overwhelm you. 

And then, after putting her data on the device you pressed the button, and the world as you knew it shifted.

At that moment, you didn't need a Soulmater to tell you that Mark was not the one for you. The realization hit you like a wave, cold and unyielding. You had become complacent, accepting whatever life threw at you without protest. Your father's passing had been a wake-up call, prompting you to reassess your life and the choices you were making. It was this introspection that led you to go and try the Soulmater, and now, you are certainly using it was the right decision.

The screen scrolled, and after an agonizing wait that seemed like years but only was a couple minutes long, a name and date appeared: Alexia Putellas - 02/04/1994.

“Alexia Putellas? My soulmate is a woman?” you whispered, a mix of shock and curiosity in your voice. The revelation was a puzzle piece that didn't fit the picture you had of your life, yet it was undeniably yours.

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader #woso

[lowlights]

Joeldalorian

So anyway I am playing with him like a paper doll and it's a problem.

#please someone take the internet away from me #although this is older din #and im insane for it #joel miller #the mandalorian #tlou #tlou spoilers #i guess #shitpost

[janjan-the-ninth]

We've all seen the Kinder Chocolate ads with the unnecessarily gendered chocolate and milk.

But if you think a bit about that, the "guy" is already in the Kinder Chocolate form while the "woman" is still a glas of milk.

This means that she definitely pegs him, on the regularly, to be inside of the Kinder Chocolate. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#kinder chocolate #kinderriegel #germany #i am mentally not okay... okay! #please someone take the internet away from me #feminism #for the glass of milk #Kinderschokolade #chocolate

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

You are a hero to me

(I blame this entirely on @phrenic-a and their glorious writer-baiting. It was meant to be one genre, but of course Zev can't make anything easy for me....)

-

“Ex… Uhm, excuse me? Miss?” A tiny voice says, dragging Zev’sonya out of the conversation she’s currently having with Mose about whether they should bother securing more supplies or not before heading back to the ship and away from this awfully crowded marked. She looks to her left and down, towards the source of the sound, and is both baffled and displeased to find a green, little twi’lek girl standing there and staring at her with big eyes.

“What?” Zev’sonya snaps. Why isn’t anyone looking after this girl? She can’t be more than six or seven years old? She shouldn’t be hassling dangerous strangers who could snatch her up and sell her to slavers. Her guardians deserve a punch in the mouth.

“Are you…” The girl’s gaze slides over and takes in the sight of Mose towering behind Zev’sonya.

Her eyes grow even larger and Zev’sonya reluctantly braces for the inevitable shriek of horror while silently swearing she is indeed going to punch whomever is responsible for letting this little girl wander off.

“Y-you are!” The girl declares and shifts her attention back to Zev’sonya, but with absolute delight all over her face instead of fear. “You’re Zev’sonya Lee Lewna!”

Zev’sonya blinks. She can feel Mose’s confusion as strong as her own. Putting on her gruffest face, she scans the little girl and sees (and feels) nothing out of the ordinary. She’s dressed nicely, but not like a rich kid, is skinny but not malnourished, and has a large, yellow cuddle-toy hanging from her right hand instead her holding any weapon. “How do you know my name, kid?”

The girl leans to the side and outright grins. “And you’re Mose!”

Zev’sonya looks back at him, but he just meets her gaze with his equivalent of raising an eyebrow and underlines it with a faint shrug. No help to be had there. Great. Zev’sonya turns back to the girl and puts on her stern face again. “Listen, kid, I don’t know what you want from me, but you shouldn’t be wandering around on your own.”

“I’m not.” The girl says, then points with her free hand. “They’re right over there.”

‘They’ must be her family and ‘they’ are a twi’lek man and two other little twi’lek girls. The man, clearly someone in Zev’sonya’s trade of shady business, is busy negotiating with a seller and has no idea what is happening beyond that, but the two girls next to him are clutching their own cuddle toys and are staring wide-eyed at their sister talking to strangers. The girl on the left is hugging a raggedy looking human doll while the girl on the right is squeezing a falleen doll tight.

“I told them we might meet you one day! This is so awesome!” The little run-away declares with raw glee.

Zev’sonya shakes her head and scoffs. Not only does this little shrimp know her and Mose’s names, which is weird enough by itself, but she actually wanted to meet them? Is she crazy? “Why?”

“Because…” Now the girl finally lowers her gaze for a moment, suddenly a little shy, but it doesn’t last for long. She flicks her dark eyes up again and now they are beaming with awe. “I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!”

Zev’sonya feels like the kid just slapped her face. Yeah, must be crazy. She considers backing up in case it is contagious. Maybe it is brain-rot? Must be something serious, definitely. “What?”

“The Pyle heist! The Julita caper! The Aand sting! The Silver holdup!” The girl blurts out, increasingly excited. “They were all you.” A sharp gulp of breath is all she has time for before rambling on. “My dad goes away for work a lot of the time, but he always comes back with stories about you. When I was little, I didn’t think a twi’lek girl could be captain of a crew, but he said I was wrong and that’s when he told me about Zev’sonya Lee Lewna. The Pirate Queen! And Mose, her best friend and second in command!”

That’s when Zev’sonya notices that the stuffed doll the girl is holding on to is not something she’s seen for sale at any marked she’s been to. It is a home-made creation; a yellow hutt with brown stripes and big eyes. It is quite raggedy from being brought along to wherever this kid goes. For some reason, the sight of the clear replica of Mose makes Zev’sonya’s heart clench.

“All my sisters do is talk about meeting a prince and getting married and living in his castle, but they also claim that there are no nice hutts, so you know they’re stupidheads. I don’t wanna marry a prince, I wanna be a pirate, like you.” The girl declares with gusto. She swings her doll forward and holds it up for her to see. “I only have Hose right now. But one day I’ll run into a hutt who is nice, like Mose, and they will be on my crew and we’ll go on adventures all over the Galaxy..”

Zev’sonya has no idea what to say to that. Her brain is spinning at how unreal the situation is.

Lowering the toy, the girl tilts her head and studies the blaster hanging by Zev’sonya’s hip before she scans the blades strapped to her thighs. “My dad won’t let me shoot one yet, but I’m really good with my slingshot.”

“That’s… nice.” Zev’sonya awkwardly mumbles. She hears a quiet rumble of amusement from behind her and Mose is clearly handling this better than she is. But that’s because he’s nice and she isn’t! She’s no role-model. She’s a result of a cruel Galaxy. This kid shouldn’t-

“Is it true you even have a human on your crew now?” The little fiend seems far more shocked by this than Zev’sonya travelling around with a hutt by her side.

“Ye-es….” Zev’sonya replies, not sure why she is giving her answers instead of directions back to her family or spraying her with water to make her go away. How does she know about Leo too?!

“Hey, would you mind…” The girl starts, digging into her own pocket for something that she pulls up with a triumphant look on her face. “Signing this?”

The shocks keeps on coming today because Zev’sonya finds herself looking at the unrolling of a wanted poster of her and Mose. It’s an old one. Three or four years ago? That is really not a flattering picture of her. Yikes. Does she really look like that? She's never leaving the ship again.

Mose chortles from behind her.

Ok, this must be some kind of weird dream. Has to be. This can’t be real. No way.

When all Zev’sonya does is stare, the girl gives the poster a brief, suggestive shake.

“Sure.” Mose says, reaching by Zev’sonya and taking the poster to sign it.

Zev’sonya half-turns to stare at him with no small amount of disbelief that only grows when she sees the smile he’s trying in vain to fight off. He’s far too amused by this. Once he’s scribbled down his letters on the holo-surface, he hands it to her with an expectant look on his face.

Scowling, Zev’sonya hesitates for only half a second before signing it and turning to hand it back to the girl. “Here.”

“Thank you!” She says, beaming even more brightly despite how it shouldn’t be possible.

“Sure.” Zev’sonya clears her throat. “Now, go back to your father and don’t wander off again. Okay?”

“Okay.” The girl declares with zero hesitation and endless cheerfulness. “But when I get a little older, can I come work for you? Mom says I should focus on my dancing or singing, but that’s boring, so can I? Pretty please? Can I?”

Trying hard to ignore the long, rumbling chuckle she hears from Mose, Zev’sonya crosses her arms. “Give it ten to fifteen years, if you still feel the same, sure.” She doubts she’ll see this kid again, but there is still something about her that prods Zev’sonya to say the next words. “Just remember, being a twi’lek doesn’t mean you have to sing and dance. You do what you want to do with your life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even your mother. You can be whatever you put your mind to.”

Despite how it shouldn’t be possible, the girl’s face grow even brighter with happiness. “I’m going to be just like you!”

Wait, no t-that is not what she meant, absolutely not, but the girl takes off running towards her father and sisters before Zev’sonya can correct her. Then, after the cretin is reunited with her sisters, pointing towards her and Mose and clearly bragging, Zev’sonya spins around to leave in a hurry as their father finally catches on to something happening behind him and turns to investigate. Time to get back to the ship.

Mose is still chuckling when she stalks by him.

“Shut up.” Zev’sonya growls. Her face burns.

Mose outrights laughs.

“I will stab you in the eye!” She threatens, in vain as it has no effect whatsoever.

Back at the ship, Nohr is waiting by the open ramp. The nikto is standing guard and seems very ready for them to leave. He’s the impatient one on the crew. “We good to go?”

“We’re leaving.” Zev’sonya declares as she marches into the ship with Mose right behind her. “Now.”

The ramp starts closing behind them and Zev’sonya knows she should head up to the cockpit and have Bea’tah initiate take-off right away, but on the way she has to walk by the door to her quarters and she can’t help the way her gaze lingers on it.

“Lorda.” Mose says, now all quiet and gentle, stopping by the door. “I’ll head up. You go in.”

Zev’sonya pauses and glares at him.

Mose nods. His eyes are too mild. “You are the captain, Lorda. I know. You decide.” He’s indulging her bad temper and they both know it. “But I can handle the ship and you should check up on him.”

Hesitating, Zev’sonya is torn between her usual dislike of being told what to do and the fact that she actually wants to go inside that room. What happened earlier had left her with a knot in her belly, and now that twi’lek kid has made her head a mess too…

“Go.” Mose encourages. “I got this.”

She does not doubt that for a second. She trusts him without a shadow of a doubt and because of that, she can allow herself to be weak this one time. Zev’sonya exhales and gives in. “Fine.”

Mose nods again, relieved. “Good.” He shuffles by her. “It’s a seventeen hour journey to our next stop, remember? You might as well get some rest while you’re in there.”

“Mind my ship, not my business.” Zev’sonya snipes, uncomfortable. Mose is always looking out for her despite how she’s supposed to keep him safe. A captain watches over her crew, not the other way around. Mose never seems to get that into his head.

“Yes, Lorda.” He replies with ease, clearly not intending to heed her words at all. And people call her the stubborn one?

Stepping inside the room, Zev’sonya leans back against the door and pauses for a bit to take in the sight that greets her.

Lying on his back, arms by his sides, Leo is still fast asleep on the bed. As expected. As he should be. This morning’s attack had come out of nowhere and for several seconds that had felt like years, Zev’sonya had been convinced that the medicine had suddenly stopped working and that he would die in front of her. She had not felt so afraid and helpless since Mose was poisoned.

Taking a deep breath, Zev’sonya pushes herself away from the door and walks over to sit down next to Leo. He looks pale, but peaceful. No fear. Nothing like during the incident. He’s breathing deep and slow. She takes his hand in hers and forces herself to smile. “You’re going to be so angry when you hear you missed out on meeting someone as crazy as you.” His hand is warm and the contact feels reassuring so she places her other hand over his. “This twi’lek kid, she came right up to me and Mose and started talking to us. No sense of self-preservation.” Zev’sonya breathes a faint laugh of reluctant admiration. “No brain.” She shakes her head, weirdly… flattered? “You would have liked her. She said…”

- I wanna grow up and be just like you one day!

While Zev’sonya knows she’s anything but a role model, the idea that a twi’lek girl might break free from the booth others want to put her in, or even give a deserving hutt a chance because she heard stories about Zev’sonya and Mose, it is dangerously uplifting. And though the girl has horrible taste in heroes and the odds stacked high against her even before she starts her journey, Zev’sonya hopes she makes it. She really hopes she makes it.

Hmm, Leo is going to be a dreadful nightmare when he hears about this. (He won’t hear it from her but Mose is definitely going to tell him. Those two love to conspire against her.) His old nickname is going to be used a lot. “She said something crazy.” Zev’sonya says, easing down to lie next to the sleeping Leo. Everything in her wants to curl up close, wrap herself around him, place her head on his chest and listen to him breathe, but she only allows herself to hold on to his hand. It’s not much, but it’s more than what she’s allowed herself in the past. “You’re going to love it.”

The ship gently shudders as they take off and head towards the stars. Technically it is barely mid-day where they are right now, but the standard time teller tells Zev’sonya the ship will swap to night-mode soon and she realizes Mose must have known as he told her to get some rest. The different time zones between parsecs, even between some planets, can leave a traveller severely sleep deprived if one is not careful and that could get you killed in Zev’sonya’s line of work.

Fine. Sleep it is. For purely practical reasons.

Zev’sonya absently runs her index finger back and forth over Leo’s warm hand as she quietly starts listing up names of people she’s never met, except for one. Even if she’d been ignorant of Hauroko’s fate, Zev’sonya would have known it is souls Leo has lost from the grief she feels radiating from him every evening when he speaks their names. She suspects it is his way of keeping them alive in memory at least and as he won’t be able to tonight, Zev’sonya will keep them alive for him.

Zev’sonya Lee Lewna is not a hero. She’s not even a good person. But she is curled up next to one.

-

#the mandalorian his son and the storm trooper #zev'sonya #leo aka leave-it #the one-shots start coming and they don't stop coming #someone please take the internet away from me #leave-it aka leo #dat song tho #Youtube

[tacobellabeanburrito]

Uh, here's the one-shot I did of my Ace Attorney Sharkboy and Lavagirl au lmao. I couldn’t post it because ao3 went down.

It's small but I thought it was hilarious when I first thought of it. Road trips will make you think of the wackiest shit dawg.

#Ace attorney #Ace attorney fanfic #Ace attorney fanfiction #trucy would soooo be max #phoenix is lavagirl but another version #I named him Firebird instead #miles is Sharkboy but instead demonboy #someone take the internet away from me PLEASE #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth

[thephamilybusiness]

Head cannon:

Bakugo exclusively listens to Falling In Reverse because he thinks being an Edgelord™ is a compliment and he wants everyone to know he's off his rocker

Specifically I’m Not A Vampire

I can just see Deku walking past Bakugo’s room with the door open and seeing Bakugo’s whole ass choreographed number that includes a section that is literally

Hi 🧍🏼

My name is

[Dan]

But like Bakugo genuinely thinks this makes him cool and intimidating

Shinso is constantly making fun of him behind his back about it too

#katsuki bakugo mha #mha bakugou #headcanon #mha headcanons #falling in reverse #edgelord #mha deku #phan #phandom #danisnotonfire #daniel howell #trash #someone take the internet away from me #I’m mixing together too many fandoms in my head #please send help #I’m scared I’ll be bullied for this #also i like falling in reverse #this isn’t shade

[ashottoremember]

#someone please take the internet away from me #frank ass on main #still not over it #frank iero #frank iero's ass #mcr

[minisugakoobies]

i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not go to lollapalooza i will not

#the urge is STRONG #but there's going to be a tour soon right? #gahhhhhhhhhhh #someone please take the internet away from me i am weak #my ramblings

[kenmassleepdeprivation]

hey, he said it not me

#uzumaki naruto #sns #naruto #im sorry #someone needs to take the internet away from me #no but please im having way too much fun

[vhstown]

please stop scrolling and take the time to read this.

i don't think people understand the extent of the horror happening in palestine right now. "death" means nothing to people because of desensitisation so let me just tell you what white phosphorus is. it's being used in israeli munitions and has been and will continue to be fired across gaza and the palestinian borders.

white phosphorus burns when it comes into contact with oxygen (at nearly 800°C or 1500°F. the human body can withstand ~50°C for reference.) the air you breathe in ignites and it is near impossible extinguish. it sticks to clothing and skin and is very difficult to remove because it will continue to ignite in air. it burns flesh up to the bone and even past the bone because it penetrates tissue and is absorbed VERY easily. if you inhale it it'll destroy your respiratory tract and lungs. it can cause failure in multiple organs including the liver, kidneys and heart. it is being released in one of the most densely populated places on earth.

the only way to treat someone exposed to white phosphorus is to submerge them in saline or water and to pick out the substance with forceps, and when you undress a wound the substance can re-ignite. this is just ONE weapon that is being used to kill palestinian people right now. palestine does not have access to medical care, humanitarian aid, power, or internet. their hospitals are being bombed. gaza is one of the most densely populated places in the world with over 50% of the population being children. many children are the sole survivors of their families. there are videos of children experiencing panic attacks and symptoms of ptsd. the fact that israel has committed war crimes in plain sight means that we can only imagine what will happen to the palestinians in complete darkness.

israel has and will continue to deny this. your interests and fandom will still be here, you will wake up tomorrow morning and see your friends and family, but an entire nation of people are being wiped off the map. being silent is being complacent. reblog, spread information, tell people in real life, attend protests, sign petitions, call your government offices, at the very least be angry and upset and horrified because once you become numb and indifferent and hopeless the oppressors will have already won.

what's happening right now is more than a genocide and once it becomes a part of history we'll wonder how the world let this happen. genocides have been part of all nations. just because it is far away does not mean you don't have to be concerned. the fact that YOUR governments and YOUR idols and the people around YOU are supporting the mass eradication of an entire group of people should scare you. it shouldn't make you feel anything less than sick and angry and disgusted. DO something about it, no matter how small you feel your voice is, because palestinians no longer have one.

[edit] links to some helpful reblogs: one & two

post on how you can help palestine

learn about palestine with this masterlist of info

+ a further reblog of mine

[edit 2] about palestinians "not having a voice" at the time i wrote this post internet connection was cut off entirely and even journalists weren't able to report for a period of time — that is all i meant by that. they of course have a voice and i never meant to undermine how people are risking their lives in gaza to get information out there and i apologise if thats what people took from it, it was not my intention but it is entirely my bad. please continue to spread information and updates from gaza as they come.

#please reblog with any useful resources you may have #or just in general #i dont care that this is a fanfiction blog because nobodys bloody made-up characters are important right now #look through tags and reblog the newer things because theyre being supressed #no matter how many followers you have #israel palestine conflict #free gaza #palestine #gaza #gaza strip

[astonmartinii]

fatherhood looks good on you | george russell social media au

pairing: george russell x fem albon reader

there comes a point in the relationship where you take it to the next level

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 783,409 others

tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: looking so good i want to give you a baby

view all comments

user1: WHAT

user2: we really be saying anything on the internet these days

alexalbon: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE LITERAL ONLY RULE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THAT YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELVES

yourusername: gosh a girl can't have baby fever in peace these days

alexalbon: unless that baby is coming by stork you can put that talk on hold real fast

yourusername: just because lily is busy does not mean you have to take it out on me and george

georgerussell63: alex is it illegal for a man to be handsome?

alexalbon: if it's illegal to be handsome, you'd have the cleanest record known to man

yourusername: STOP RIGHT THERE DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT LYING IS A SIN

alexalbon: i'm not going to say YOUR boyfriend is hot, no.

yourusername: just because i got in there first 🙄

user3: i don't think she's serious but also george with a baby is just too cute not to happen

user4: george is the perf instagram boyf like he's so ready to pose

landonorris: well that definitely is something we all want to know

yourusername: i know you would LOVE to know ALL the details norris

georgerussell63: she's never going to let your crush go lando, you gotta just hold it

landonorris: i was THIRTEEN

yourusername: you don't love me anymore? 😕

landonorris: i don't know why i always get in these arguments with you

user5: i love how george just instigates things for y/n lmao

user6: your boyfriend should always support your mess

liked by yourusername

georgerussell63

liked by lewishamilton, alexalbon and 1,209,458 others

tagged: yourusername

georgerussell63: fatherhood is a different beast

view all comments

user8: alright i am so confused

user9: there's no way y/n can actually be pregnant i saw her down at least three pornstar martinis in hospitality this weekend

alexalbon: this better be a joke or i'm gonna kick you so hard you get a free non-reversible vasectomy

yourusername: stop the violence!

alexalbon: THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR GLEE REFERENCES

yourusername: someone is channelling some serious sue vibes right now

georgerussell63: let it be known i like my reproductive systems the way they are

alexalbon: that's kind of the point of a threat, you aren't supposed to want it

yourusername: he likes threats if they come from the right person

alexalbon: i am about one more comment away from knocking down your hotel room door and throwing george from the balcony

yourusername: and deprive our child from a father... alex i expected better from you

alexalbon: that's it i'm on my way

georgerussell63: @mercedesamgf1 PLEASE PROTECT ME I AM PRECIOUS CARGO

user10: these bitches got me actually combing through tiktoks and hospitality menus to see if y/n was actually drinking

user11: i'm gonna be real angry if this is all a big joke

user12: i know kimi antonelli is young but this is NAWT the way to announce him for 2025

charles_leclerc: guys i need you to spell everything out i am confused

georgerussell63: no can do charles you gotta follow the breadcrumbs just like everyone else

yourusername: it's right there sharl

charles_leclerc: actually alex, wait, i'm coming with you these hoes are annoying me

landonorris: don't forget me

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 1,409,556 others

tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: our baby is here!

view all comments

user15: A CAT?

user16: i just knew george russell would be a ragdoll girl

georgerussell63: they were right i AM a girl dad

yourusername: finally dilf status

georgerussell63: a title i do not take lightly

yourusername: i can confirm libido has gone UP since becoming parents!

landonorris: shut THE FUCK UP

yourusername: you'll understand in time lando

georgerussell63: you just found yourself at the bottom of the babysitting list

landonorris: i don't want to look after it

yourusername: IT? IT? HOW DARE YOU?

georgerussell63: she can hear you lando that's so disrespectful :(

landonorris: ??? i'm not saying sorry to a cat over instagram comment

georgerussell63: expect the same courtesy when i take you out first corner next weekend

user17: i fear that was not a threat but a promise from george

user18: it's kinda hot

liked by yourusername

alexalbon: NEW ALBON PETS LORE AND NONE OF YOU TOLD ME

yourusername: ella can't wait to meet the gang

alexalbon: no offence but ella is kinda a shit name

yourusername: short for mozzarella

alexalbon: i take it back

georgerussell63: cause she's the lil pearl of our life

alexalbon: i love her already

user19: so we went through all this tomfoolery for a cat? a cat called mozzarella?

user20: you have to agree it's iconic

alexalbon

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 889,304 others

tagged: georgerussell63 & yourusername

alexalbon: i knew @albon_pets would get george at some point

view all comments

user22: i love how alex became the chill guy again after it was revealed he was not yet an uncle

georgerussell63: hard on the yet

alexalbon: too soon george

user23: the albon pets signature of approval is a bigger sign that george is in the gamily than if he actually proposed to y/n

user24: they've got a baby now he's an albon

yourusername: horsey is going to kick off over having to share george with me and mozzie

albon_pets: bring it on - horsey

yourusername: alex i'm not arguing with you pretending to be horsey, this ain't roscoe and lewis

lewishamilton: rude

roscoelovescoco: meanie

yourusername: did you just call me mean as your dog?

lewishamilton: you were extra mean

yourusername: fine lets let mozzie and roscoe scrap it out at silverstone - she's got the sass of both me and george btw x

lewishamilton: stay AWAY FROM MY DOG

user25: the merc garage gonna be a whole petting zoo at silverstone i can't

user26: you wanna catch up with red bull? sell meet and greet tickets to the petting zoo

maxverstappen1: this is my official invitation to a play date with jimmy and sassy

yourusername: WE'LL BE THERE

maxverstappen1: is mozzarella civilised?

georgerussell63: of course my child has manners?

maxverstappen1: you crash into people all the time, i had to check

georgerussell63

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 896,045 others

tagged: yourusername

georgerussell63: all of the family here for the home race

view all comments

user27: y/n wearing mozzarella in a baby harness i need to be put down

user28: that really is their child oh my

yourusername: make our baby proud georgie

georgerussell63: anything for you two xx

alexalbon: why do i never get these nice comments

yourusername: they're transmitted through our genes x

yourusername: also george more important 👍🏻

alexalbon: i'm literally your brother? your flesh and blood?

yourusername: george cuter

georgerussell63: can't argue with that

alexalbon: well of course he is this ain't alabama. (sorry logan)

logansargent: i'm from florida?

yourusername: even worse, my condolences

georgerussell63: can we get back to talking about how dashing i am?

yourusername: yes!

alexalbon: NO. SAY GOOD LUCK Y/N

yourusername: good luck y/n

alexalbon: what if i crash and you never said good luck, think about it y/n

yourusername: good luck alex (you're an asshole for weaponising the sport (and you being shit at it))

user29: i think i had about three strokes trying to follow this argument

user30: poor logan is just a victim of the albons at this point

landonorris: have a baby and forget about the rest of us, i see how it is

yourusername: you will never measure up to mozzie lando i hope you know that

georgerussell63: what y/n means is that i love my friends, but a child is a gift from god

landonorris: it's a cat. she can't even talk

yourusername: and yet she makes better points than you, makes you think

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, landonorris and 834,019 others

tagged: georgerussell63

yourusername: fatherhood looks good on you

view all comments

user31: mozzarella is so big already 🥹

user32: maybe i'm worse than them cause i'm attached to mozzie as well

georgerussell63: no one else i'd rather be cat parents to

yourusername: you're such a romantic

georgerussll63: such a pleasure to take this next step with the love of my life

yourusername: i love you more

georgerussell63: not possible

alexalbon: you being gross about mozzie was better than what ever the fuck this is

yourusername: @lilymunhe does he not treat you right?

lilymunhe: he's a romantic really, he's just exhausting the protective big brother act until george finally proposes

alexalbon: sue me

maxverstappen1: still waiting on the play date ...

yourusername: monaco?

maxverstappen1: done

yourusername: jimmy, sassy and ella will be like the charlie's angles reincarnated

georgerussell63: can't wait for you to see her IMPECCABLE manners

maxverstappen1: okay princess george

yourusername: hey only i can call george princess

maxverstappen1: you keep that to yourself

user33: disappointed that with all the tomfoolery around mozzie that there was no maternity photoshoots

yourusername: oh do not give me a challenge...

fin.

note: NEW SERIES ALERT? i'll create a masterlist after i post this. i hope you enjoyed, this one is more of a tame brother's best friend take but dw they can get more beefy and more sassy - send me any pairings you might like to see! thanks for reading x

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 social media au #f1 #george russell instagram au #george russel imagine #george russel x reader #george russell #george russell imagine #george russell x reader #george russell fluff

[gender-euphowrya]

it's been said but people really need to have a basic And thorough understanding of words that have specific precise meanings before they use them

#GASLIGHTING SPECIFICALLY MEANS TRYING TO TELL SOMEBODY THAT SOMETHING THEY REMEMBER OR FEEL DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN #it's abusers saying 'i never hit you. you're remembering it wrong' #liars saying 'i never said this. you're crazy' #people trying to take advantage of someone saying 'you never told me this. it's your fault' #uncaring medical professionals saying 'you never had this pain. you faked it' #NOT AN INTERNET PERSON TELLING YOU YOUR OPINION IS BAD #NOT SOMEONE LYING TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH #NOT MISINFORMATION #it's SPECIFICALLY the attempt to make you doubt your own perception your senses and your memories #people don't complain about folks who misuse words just to be stuck up bitches #it's because these are necessary fucking words for abuse victims and people with trauma to talk about their experiences #if you misuse them until their actual meaning becomes lost on the majority of the population you're taking away an important tool #for the love of GOD please stop thinking using these words even when they're not accurate gives you or your point more credibility #if you're treating them as buzzwords that get you Instant Approval From Others because well #gaslighting is bad and if i call this thing i dislike gaslighting then people will agree it's bad #and if they don't i can just turn around and call THEM bad because ew don't you condemn gaslighting ? you're problématique #if you wanna say someone insulted you say insulted. if they lied say lied. if they manipulated you say manipulated.

[valiantroeagleangel]

On replay.

Will Ramos x female reader

Not that much of a plot, toy, masturbation.

Tag list: @circle-with-me @witchyweeb3 @malice-ov-mercy @darkhallcorner @sthnog @loeytuan98

Yes, I have a tag list now 🥹 (*proud mama intensifies*) Still possible to add people if you tell me what you're interested in, love you ♡

Wrote this last week because why is no one writing about Will? I haven't found one fanfiction on him and that is SCANDALOUS (please send me some, this is a desperate lady talking). Anyway, my man is so hot he deserves some recognition. Even if this is more a drabble than a real smut, we're going straight to the point here.

Will was leaving tomorrow and you hated that. He was going on tour, once again. The last time he left was kind of hard for both of you, you were used to it now but it still hurt. You didn’t want him to leave you, even if it was something regularly happening.

Sitting on the edge of the bed you were rummaging through the drawer of the nightstand looking for an old necklace you left there while Will was finishing his luggage next to you, always doing it last minute.

You heard him groan in the closet, looking for some t-shirt that apparently "mysteriously disappeared in the night because I swear I saw it there yesterday", which made you chuckle.

-I'm being serious! Don't laugh! I saw it, I had it in my hands and then I went to the nightstand and- He was reproducing the things he did last night to remember where he put it.

When he turned himself toward the nightstand, you decided to open the little door under the drawer, revealing his shirt. Happy he smiled, stepping to you to take his clothing as he left a sweet kiss on your forehead to thank you.

But when you started to close the door you found a box that was concealed under his shirt, hidden with a discreet wrapping paper. Bending yourself a little you took it in hand with no idea of what it was.

Will had already disappeared again in the closet when you called him, curious. Deafened by all the noises he was making, he didn't understand what you said until he pulled himself out.

-What did you say, love? He asked, his head turning too far towards you.

-What's in this box? You lifted your hand, showing him the present you held.

His eyes widened, not expecting you to find it already but obviously, he lost his shirt when he hid that here so finding his shirt also meant finding the box.

He bit his lower lip, letting all the clothes he had in his arms on his suitcase. Slowly, he came to sit next to you on the bed, his fingers tangling with themselves.

-It's um- it's for you. I thought about giving it to you later but I guess you can open it now. He was a bit awkward and you arched a brow at him, not sure where he was going.

Silently, you tore the paper off revealing a black box, very minimalist which was definitely not helping you to know what it was. Curious again, you questioned him silently as he leaned on the bed, trying to relax.

-Come on, open it now, you're stressing me.

He laughed softly at you while you resumed your unboxing. Opening it you discovered a purple toy, that was quite long, making your eyes widen.

You looked back at Will trying to guess what was going on inside his head but he only looked back at you, a small grin on his lips.

-It's for you to not feel that lonely. I chose it myself, it does that little thing you like when I touch you. He mimicked it with his fingers, making you blush urgently.

He quickly noticed your discomfort, his smile leaving him as he straightened himself.

-I mean it's okay if you don't want it. I just thought that maybe, I don't know, that way you would think about me? Maybe it would make you feel less lonely, it's like I would be there? Well not really but I thought about that so... God, I don't know. It's fine if you don't like it, really.

He was panicking and you felt your cheeks flushed at his words. It's not like you never talked about it, you just never took the plunge and suddenly it made you feel a bit hot.

Will passed a hand through his hair, waiting for you to say something but you muttered yourself in silence, butterflies installing themselves in your stomach as you thought about masturbating with it, Will settling in your fantasies.

Imagining how you would just lay on the bed, missing him, imagining him touching you while you fucked yourself with the toy. Moaning his name like he was the one with you.

Shit, you were certainly blushing hard now as you tried to shake all your phantasms away. He called your name, trying to get your attention back to him but you only kept to mindlessly stare at him.

Will sighed, a bit disappointed by his gift, he thought it was a good idea in the beginning. Now he overthought it and felt like it was a really shitty idea. Of course it would make you uncomfortable, you were not as comfortable about all of this as he was and he knew that.

He felt bad to have made you uneasy like that.

-Excuse me, love. I should have known it was going to bother you.

He leaned on to kiss your temple making you close your eyes at the feeling while he took the box from your hands.

-It's okay Will. You breathed out, finally focusing on him, your thighs discreetly clenching together.

-I'm sorry. He looked at you with puppy eyes only to find you breathing a bit more heavily next to him.

-Don't be. You exchanged another look as you boldly spat out your words. You can use it on me. Please, use it on me.

For once he was the one stupidly staring at you with a surprised look on his face. He didn't answer you, his mind racing to proceed if you really just said that or not.

-Use it on me before you leave. You shifted closer to him. Use it on me so that I will think of you every time I'll fuck myself with it.

Alright, it didn't take him much more time to realize what you just said now. He was not going to let that chance go away. Without thinking he threw the box to the side, jumping on you in the second.

You both giggle at his reaction, letting him crawl to you as you lay down on the bed. His lips quickly came for yours, pecking your mouth while you gently cupped his face. Ghosting his lips against yours, he eventually pulled back with a smirk, making you chase him.

-So, you're keeping it?

-Hm hm, maybe. You draw him back to your lips, forcing him to kiss you again.

Of course, you were keeping it, that was one of the hottest things he did for you. You may almost want him to leave earlier so that you can use it by yourself already.

His lips still on yours you felt his hands ramble immediately to your pants, putting them down. His hot fingers started to brush your hips and thighs gently, his gaze still on your face.

-You're sure it's alright, love?

-Yes. You nodded, whining a bit as you squirmed under him. Please;

He smiled at you, lowering his head to your thighs, gently kissing the interior. His hot breath against your skin, your hands quickly found the back of his head, pushing on it.

Looking down you felt your insides tighten as you met his gaze. He was staring at your face, analyzing every one of your expressions. His mouth left your thighs to rise to your underwear, kissing your core through it until he lifted his kisses again, pushing your shirt up to leave wet kisses on your stomach.

You gasped and shifted under him, feeling one of his hands joining your core where his mouth left you alone. His fingers gently brushing onto you, they tried to be as gentle as they could to not attack you directly.

Your gaze wandering you saw the toy on the side of the mattress, not far away from you and it made you clench at the sight. Urging Will, you reached out to the nightstand, pulling out a tube of lube.

You felt him smirk against your stomach, his lips not leaving you as he intensified his caresses on your wet underwear, making a soft moan escape you.

-Will, hurry. Please.

You tried to rock your hips against his hand, looking for more friction. 

Gladly he obeyed you, his fingers dipping in the clothing as they immediately found their way to your core. Pleasure got to you, your cheeks and feet heating as his fingers slowly started to thrust into you and, fuck, it felt good already. 

Extending your arm you reached out for the box, grabbing it and silently giving it to Will.

His head stood up, leaving your belly to look at you, then at the box as he opened it with one hand. He put the toy out and showed it to you making you realize the size of it. You clenched on his fingers, your eyes widening while you looked back at him a bit panicked.

-There is no fucking way that this is going to fit.

He curled his fingers inside of you, reaching that sweet spot, just like you liked it as a loud moan escaped you.

-Yes it will. He came to kiss your cheek. Open your legs for me, baby. I wanna see you.

Reluctantly you spread your legs, watching him fall back to sit on his knees between your thighs. Taking the lube that you got out a little before his fingers left you, making you feel the emptiness of their demise. You sighed at the feeling, letting Will grab the toy and put some lube on it.

-We don't want your new friend to hurt you, hm? Be patient.

You tried to be but the view of your boyfriend, cautiously wetting the object, made you want more even if its size scared you a bit.

His hand resting back on your inner thigh he kept your legs open for him, teasing you with the tip of the dildo. The coldness of the thing made you squirm under him, your legs automatically trying to clench together.

Still, he slowly pushed it in you, watching you stiffen every time he went a bit deeper. Your face contorted as you felt the silicone completely fill you. Once the toy fully in you, you tried to reach for Will, your arms extending as you straightened yourself a little bit.

He gladly came to you, his head finding its way to your neck as he nibbled on your skin. After some time you felt your hips starting to move on their own, eager for more when you were ready to fuck yourself on your own on that thing if he wasn't willing to move it.

You only heard him chuckle as his hand quickly pressed something at the bottom of the toy, turning it on when you expected the least.

The feeling got you jolting under him, your arms immediately coming to surround his neck making you cling to him. 

He let you do so, turning the switch once again as the vibrations intensified. Only a desperate cry got out of you. You didn't know how to react to the sensation, it just felt really good and really quick. The sensation of Will leaving kisses on your neck and jaw at the same time got you overwhelmed. You just needed more of that, you could crash him on your chest to feel more of that heat.

Will's lips came to yours, kissing passionately as his hand inclined the toy to a different angle inside of you.

-Do that again- God, just like that, right there. You tensed up at the feeling, letting him hit that spot again.

Separating himself from you he straightened a bit, one of his hands still playing with you while the thumb from his free hand came to your clit, circling on it.

His finger in synchronization with the toy got you reaching your high much faster than you both expected. You begged him to come back to you, needing to feel his body tower you when your orgasm washed over you. Leaving your clit he leaned on again, his lips on yours he kissed you as his other hand kept fucking you through your orgasm.

Once you stopped trembling under him he turned it off leaving it in your core nonetheless.

-Already came, ugh?

You looked at him totally enhanced as you nodded, tears in your eyes.

-Fuck, I love that thing. He smiled, proud of himself and his buy. I'm going to make you come over and over.

His body left you to regain its place between your thighs, he kissed them one more time before turning it on again.

By instinct you grabbed his curled hair firmly, surprised by his actions.

-Why are you turning this on again? You moaned, still way too sensitive from your first orgasm.

He bit your inner thigh.

-Oh we're going to do that all night, until the only thing you'll be able to remember when you touch yourself is how much I made you come with that thing.

#lorna shore #lorna shore fanfiction #lorna shore fanfic #will ramos #will ramos fanfiction #will ramos fanfic #smut #will ramos smut #lorna shore smut #fanfiction #fanfic #please someone take the internet away from me #i can't keep writing these shitty scenarios like that #i need to do something else with my life

[funkiestbear]

Ive seen some posts recently talking about religion and church, and it sorta erks me a bit the way both christians and atheists have this chip on their shoulder in a constant attmept to one up another. Its certainly not specific to these type of discussions, but its also extremely annoying. I hate when people dont talk. No actual ideology being thrown around, just a bunch of nothing. I know the pain the church has caused people. Centuries worth. I know, but god, the idea of god, is not inherently evil like I see some people make it out to be.

#please dont take this post as me running to defend mass murder racist psychos #but for me as someone who cant honstly say they dont believe in its frustraighting not being able to find good discussion on theology #any religious site is down to many rabbit holes of insanity #anyone talking about atheism is just unbearable to listen to 90% of the time #is it the responsibility of every person ever to explain themselves and their dogma in full detail on the internet? no ofc not #just for me personally i find that particular topic super intresting and no one seems to have the spine to just speak their mind #and then when they do it always the memeable one liner GOTCHAS that get through #and its entirely unhelpful for a. actually getting people away from horrific ideas about religion and b. helping people with religiousguilt #i really think it wouldve helped me #idk i suppose i could be looking at it wrong tho if im clowning on myself here dm me

[sulphuryasecretcloset]

Hungry?

#the mandalorian his son and the storm trooper #Din Djarin #Paz Vizsla #Raga Saxon #I made a thing #someone PLEASE take the internet away from me

[heartfullofleeches]

[18+]

Introducing - Shy Perv/Horny Alien Darling who's happy to be kidnapped by cute little humans if it means they'll get their dick touched.

Bound and chained up in their kidnappers home - Darling has but one question as their obsessive stalker declares their undying love and how darling will never, ever leave their side again-

"s.... since we're dating now....may - can I touch your breasts?"

Alien Darling from a planet where sleeping with another person for pleasure is looked down upon and intimacy is not seen as common . There's hardly any need for it in terms of reproduction either as technology has mostly taken over in the entire process. Needless to say, Darling is blown away when they learn about earth and some of its cultures. They want to go on dates, and hold hands with someone cute, and maybe even kiss them, and- and.... There's just so much for them to do.

Darling ends up on earth one way or another - working their way up to a far enough life as a cashier. Approaching humans in a romantic/sexual tense is a bit difficult when you only have experience from the films you've seen in the short span of time you've known about them. Darling remains alone and finds fulfilment elsewhere on the internet and with human toys they purchase for "research" - How they'd love to be able to use what they've learned with a cute human, but no person in their right mind would want an awkward outcast like them...

Right?

When Darling finally released they're being followed - they come to the conclusion that it has to be some strange human mating ritual. Yan likely discovers the various blogs Darling has made detailing their journey they probably think nobody will read or believe. Regardless of whether darling truly is from other world - it's clear to see how depraved they are. Yan sees that for themselves when they leave a pair of their underwear in darling's bed and instead of questioning where they came from Darling skips an entire day of work just to drool all over them. Darling is too busy fondling Yan's chest to notice anything wrong - like how their boss hasn't called to check up on them in a while.

Oh....That's right - they don't have a phone anymore. Their lover said they didn't need it anymore.... Plus, their boss was found dead in a lake a few weeks ago.

Huh.....How could they forget something like that?

"Would you like me to take my shirt off while you touch me, love?"

"Yes, please!"

Darling feels the need to ask before every kiss. It's cute - until they're drilling their tongue(s) down Yan's throat everytime since they claim Darling can do whatever they desire to them. It's still impossible for them to believe a cute human would want them so badly. Captivity is a small prize to pay to finally act out the fantasies they've had since they've learned of earth and its people.

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