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roomy-ghosted · 9 months

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I think someone needs to say it.

The JRWI fandom as a whole has a lot of issues with gender roles the expression of ones self. More specifically towards the guys with longer hair. Which is what I'm talking about the most. Characters that are the core example of this are characters like Gillian, Kian and Ashe. The latter two moreso. Both of these characters are canonically cis men with long hair, yet both are consistently headcanonned as transfem. And whilst I literally headcanon Ashe with he/she pronouns (prefferring he mostly though) I really want to make a point of what I'm going to say.

And I'm making a point of saying this now that: I don't have any fucking issues with transfem headcanons. In fact, there's several that I have and several that I see that I adore. Mostly they're outside of this fandom, both are examples of story and for fun:

Hunter from the Owl House is one. It adds so much to the character when you add breaking free and seperation from the control of your abusers, self expression that they can show once free of their uncle. It drives a really nice narrative which works so beautifully for their character. Transfem Hunter is an interesting thing to look into, especially with the issues they have with having longer hair but how having longer hair is always percived as something a girl has. It works so well as a narrative and could be such an interesting thing writers and artists alike can look into.

Another is my one that is literally just for fun. It's Scott Pilgram. It's purely from a piece of fanart I saw that derrives from the 'im in lesbians with you' line said in the comics and film and it's such an interesting take as well. Even though it's one that's just for a silly, I can imagine so many in-depth takes and conflict that could happen in Scott's mind because of this and who they are as a person. As well as the tale told in the film being one of self acceptance and the baggage that carries through in relationship.

Now my massive reasoning for why I'm not against transfems as a whole and people shouldn't butcher me and call me transphobic (because yeah, transphobic trans people exist-) is out of the way, I can get to what I actually want to say:

All the time I see folks headcanoning these canonically beautiful boys as transfem. And whilst that's cool and all, I feel like we should actually look at why we're headcanoning these characters with long hair this way. It feels like it's almost enforcing typical gender roles, that pretty boys with long hair are women. And that's just not the case.

It's gotten to the point that people outside of the fandom think and even sometimes go into PD thinking Ashe is canonically a girl. And whilst yes, popular headcanons exist in all fandoms (see Tubbo with horns in the DSMP fandom) that they leak into the mainstream, it's gotten to the point of where I'm starting to think peoples brains really do just link: boy with long hair = girl all the time. All the time I see people basically going 'boy + long hair = you're a girl now' pretty much and the ammount of just dysphoria that gives me as someone who wants to dress more feminine and grow out his hair long after he starts T is driving me insane.

It enforces a lot of particular gender roles when you're deciding that anyone with long hair is a woman. that they're girly. That they're just that. A girl. And I've seen ages ago (when I was much younger so I don't remember the fandoms) people do the same with women with short hair. Women who are buff and strong and don't have traditionally 'girly' frames. Just instantly making them men. It's kinda fucked but a lot of people don't think the same when It's about men, do they?

You never see extremely masc presenting characters headcanonnoned this way.

Never Rolan Deep, who you could say having this hidden 'monster' inside of him is an analogy for being in the closet, about sexuality or even gender. About not knowing a part of yourself and then seeing others 'express' themselves (murder and maim and kill) in a way that makes you realise something about yourself that you're not who you thought you were in life. That you've been repressing this part of you, that you've discovered this part of you, that feels so weird and foreign that even now you decide to try and push it down, to pretend to be yourself.

Not Ryan, and his very heavy masculinity, how he engages in frat culture and how that can effect a someone's psyche. And how he plays sports and is very traditionally a 'boy'

And you don't see people headcanoning Mark fucking Winters as Transfem. A large, muscularly built person with facial hair.

It's always the folks who are more lithe, lanky, skinny canonically. Always the people who have long hair and are just pretty. Always them.

And I'm just wondering why?

This post isn't anything to start discourse. It isn't asking for you to 'fight back' against what I said with even more content of this sort of stuff. It's just asking for you to stop and think for a second. As to why it's always these pretty boys with long hair that you're thinking are femminine. That's all.

I think my desire to talk about this has been sparked a little more with someone using she/her pronouns for Sylnan in the jrwi-kiss bracket. Sylnan's very masc in apperance, although has long hair like my point, so it did make me curious about that person's headcanons and why they think that. There's another person on ao3 who headcanons Rand as using she/he pronouns and whilst that's not my cup of tea I still am a little curious as to why, as a lot of this fandom does just present very 'femme' or pretty looking guys as transfem.

And I'm welcome to other people's opinions on the matter. I'm welcome to open discussion. I will say though that I find it very hard to disscern tone over text with people I don't know well and that I'd appriciate if you state things such as the fact that you don't mean it argumentativly and such if that is the case. That we're talking civally. I've been attacked a lot over minor things in past fandoms, hell, I even got called racist randomly in THIS fandom for just mentioning colour theory in art styles and how colour picking source art for skintone might not work for your art style. Which, when you think about it, is moreso calling Wyvern racist, if anything. So please just make sure you mention your tone or even use indicators or brackets.

Also going to say: when talking about characters on this post, if you usually headcanon them as she/her or using she/her pronouns, if it's in the context of your headcanon and we're not talking about the canon character seperately (as fanon an canon are completely seperate), I'd appriciate if you use they/them for the characters. I will follow in suit when talking about fandom interations of characters as well. As I have done litearlly throughout this post. It's moreso out of respect for eachother and our personal headcanons, if anything.

#just roll with it #jrwi #im not tagging it as discourse if anyone asks because if you think it's discourse it's not. it's me pointing something out #it literally isn't discourse.#ashe winters #as they're talked about a lot in this and is the main offender #this talk can be applied to literally every fandom. but im in jrwi right now and i see it so much.#I AM a little scared posting this. as I know that like- I could just be headhunted and hounded if people take what I'm saying the wrong way #and don't stop and think about the point I'm making #as I adore this fandom; they're so diverse and accepting of everything and do point out flaws in the source content #but still adore and love the content as a whole.#And I love makign content for the fandom. a lot. I adore it a lot. And I don't wanna have to stop because the fandom took something wrong.#but this is a thing that's been bugging me and a friend recently. Her a lot longer. I think it's been bugging him for a while-#and I just really wanna get it out there.#and yeah.#its not me saying 'stop doing this' and more of me saying 'think about what you're doing for a second.'#like I said I headcanon Ashe as he/she (transmasc ways). But the ammont of just she/her Ashe headcanons are everwhere.#and you go to read fanfic and they're just. always a girl. Always. Never he/she. never just he.#always just she/her (transfem ways) ashe.#everwhere.#Gill is not as common of an offender but my friend kept mentioning them and I had to mention them as well.

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artsy-dreamer · 1 year

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I just… *cries* brotps

#*somanly.gif*#artsy talks #brotp #i just AAAAAA I love brotps so MUCH 💕💕💕#they make me happy 🥺 and I’m TIRED of feeling too afraid to admit it #other than today it’s been almost a MONTH since I tagged a post with ‘brotp’??#i just… wow I really was scared huh #still kind of am tbh… this is silly I’ve been unabashedly loving brotps on main #for YEARS without any problems come on now 🤷‍♀️#brain plz… we have talked about this… you’re allowed to enjoy things :p

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theultracharmingladynoire · 1 year

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This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

#N rambles #I feel like I am just repeating things at this point #I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this #upset about #But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad #Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show #I was so excited and looking forward to this #Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation #And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset #so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors #and this one is not helping #And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic #And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah #I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about #The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively???#I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but #I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it #Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that #like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something #And just tried to intrepret it in good faith #Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously #It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it #(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly)#Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry

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goldenlandfiascos · 2 years

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"Evanatsu is incest" tell me you're stupid without telling me you're stupid. Some ppl dumb as hell LMAO it's not incest legally, it's not incest morally, it's literally family by law- aka can be broken at any time (unlike family by blood or chosen family or adoptive family). People 😳 grow a brain challenge??

i read this so wrong at first and i was so scared 💀

dfhubvfdkj literally though, it's like, if the idea still makes someone uncomfortable, fine, i guess, but it's like. fucking the in-law has kind of always been a trope? if we want to keep it straight; potentially, Natsuhi could divorce Krauss and then marry back in through Rudolf and it would be FINE. it would be completely allowed. It would be really awkward, but legally, there's no problem.

i can't speak for all families, but in-laws tend to be so far removed from one another, they barely even ever actually think of each other as "family". it's always like a disgruntled, "time to go see the in-laws". i don't think of my brother's wife as my "sister" at all. (not going too much into personal life family drama, but my parents hate her and probably want them to get divorced fdjvnfkd). In other words, "literally removed from the family". it's not like growing up with step siblings or foster ones, that's completely different, because, odds are, the people involved are going to ACTUALLY see each other as family, especially if it was from a young age.

i have no way to prove this, and maybe it would still be the same issue, but when i first read umineko, i genuinely thought there was going to be something about how Natsuhi and Rudolf had fucked in the past and Natsuhi was Battler’s real mom (it was a whole theory i had for the first 4 episodes, but i’ll spare details). it just makes me wonder, though, that if that had ended up being the case, if people would still be trying to call it “incest” or not since Rudolf’s a man. again, that’s huge speculation there, and it’s very possible people still would, but wlw ships tend to just always be held to such higher standards, it does just make me wonder.

also worth noting, is how Natsuhi so desperately wants to be accepted as part of the family, but Eva literally kind of like,, doesn’t even view her as one? going back to the whole in-laws tend to be so removed from each other and don’t even think of each other as actually family (obviously, i’m sure there are some exceptions, but generally speaking, it tends to be that way).

Also if we wanna bring another story like Higurashi into this just for an example, it would be like if Keiichi dated Mion and then suddenly broke up with her and dated Shion instead. Would that be “weird” because it’s like “ew he’s basically dating his sister now!” No, because with that logic, it’s kind of like saying Mion would be his sister while he was dating her.

anyway, there are a lot of reasons to not like evanatsu, and i totally get it if someone doesn’t, but i have seen people wrongly call it incest way too many times now over the years and it’s just kind of tiring at this point

#i am NOT tagging this in main tags i do not want it to spread too much dfubvfidjk #anyway but legit when i first saw it i read it as ''evanatsu ISN'T incest'' tell me you're stupid without-- AND I WAS SO SCARED #i thought it was anon hate towards ME and i was like ''HOW DID THEY EVEN FIND IT I DIDN'T TAG IT IN MAIN TAGS''#this got long and rambly as usual but yeah #i mean if people still personally find it uncomfortable for that reason i guess that's fair; it is what it is #evanatsu #my posts #ask

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technicolorxsn · 2 years

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wuh oh

#sorry for posting vent art on main do u still think im cute 🥺🥺#my art #happy days #dotflow #oreko #sabitsuki #not tagging that weird bathtub man who i HATE #scares the shit out of me #esp with the tv effect #ghost and pals #do i tag nudity for sabitsuki in a jar?#blood cw #nudity cw #jic ig

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iwantyoursexmp3 · 3 months

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every day i log into this site and ponder whether or not im going to write a long mildly over sharing post about the intricacies of grief and death

#not even in a vent or seeking comfort way lol like I’ve just got shit to say! it’s interesting!#and I’m starting to talk abt it with people who didn’t know me when it happened and the reactions are interesting to say the least #also it’s interesting from a lover boy pov im having to think about that because #if you engage w lover boy you have to go in understanding that one of the main characters dies and we see that. and you have to acknowledge #it but also be so normal about it…..like i love bobby so much fun stuff about him but some of it #is tied to his illness and dying and I’m like I can’t tell how ppl are gonna react to this bc im so desensitised to it LOL #like wait you guys didn’t sit on a comode whilst your dying loved one lying in their deathbed talked shit abt ppl #it’s been over a year and I’m still like yeah that was so normal like it wasn’t but maybe it would be better if we did treat these #experiences as normal 👍#one of my fave beau and bobby scenes is one where beau helps bobby walk down the stairs #who is clearly very anxious and distressed about struggling with it and scared of falling #and it’s a very sweet and sad scene but also they joke about it and treat it casually to make it easier #and it’s like you gotta approach those scenes beyond the sadness of it I think. yes it’s sad but there’s more than that and if you don’t #look at the rest of the emotions then you’re missing out on the real humanity of it #I basically posted half of what I was gonna post in the tags anyway LOL!

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dilfsuzanneyk · 6 months

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ooooo you wanna listen to the now so bad you wanna listen to that album sooooo bad

#the now now is probably like. my favourite grillzaaaaz album after humanz probably #ok i dont wanna post in the main tag bc it scares me but i still wanna find my posts later so the new tag is uhhhh #monkey band #yeah real original great #vex rambles

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janaispunk · 4 months

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28 "No one ever cared about me like you." for Joel or Marcus Pike, please?? Thank you for writing all this amazing stuff for us <3

no one can hurt you now

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

word count: ~1.2k

summary: You’ve been traveling through the country with Joel and Ellie. After finally arriving in the safety of Jackson, you realize how much Joel means to you.

tags/warnings: post outbreak, mentions of infected, fighting and blood, reader doesn’t value her life that much tbh, angst, anxiety, comfort, able-bodied reader, no use of y/n (please let me know if i missed something <3)

a/n: dearest anon, thank you so much for your kind words and for sending this prompt in! this started out as a drabble but got out of control, so i hope you enjoy this little fic 🫶🏻

dividers by @saradika-graphics who is amazing <3

full masterlist here / follow @janaispunknotifs and turn on notifications for fic updates!

The clicker’s teeth snap at you inches away from your face, your arms straining desperately to hold the creature off. A shot rings through the air and the clicker stills as blood splatters across your face.

You push the now lifeless weight off of you and try to stand back up, your shaky legs underneath you barely cooperating.

“Thanks,” you mutter, gasping for breath.

“The fuck was that?” Joel barks, the gun still grasped so tightly in his hand that his knuckles are turning white.

“It was- running at Ellie, I just-“

You’ll admit that you hadn’t really thought it through when you lunged at the clicker that had charged in the girl’s direction without any weapons in your hands. Not her, had been the only clear thought in your head. She wasn’t replaceable.

You were.

“You just what? Thought you’d get yourself killed?”

“No! I don’t know, okay? I still bought us time, and you got it, so-”

You don’t like the way he’s glaring at you, like you did something fundamentally wrong. You took a risk, yes, but his main objective is taking the girl across the country. You’re just… there.

“So?! Fuckin’ stupid, is what it was,” he snaps before he turns around abruptly and stomps further into the abandoned house that you’re hoping to spend the night in. You wait until your legs finally stop trembling before you follow him.

It’s the middle of the night when Joel finally speaks to you again. You had settled down in one of the bedrooms on the upper floor, not before searching the house extra thoroughly after the clicker incident earlier.

You can hear Ellie’s soft snores from across the room and you would have sworn that Joel was asleep too. Your mind didn’t rest, replaying the scene over and over, the way Joel snapped at you making your chest hurt each time.

“You don’t get to not make yourself a priority, you hear me? I won’t let you.”

You flinch at the unexpected sound from his corner of the room, but his voice is gentle, like he’s approaching a scared animal.

“But Ellie-” you still try to protest.

“I care about Ellie just as much as you do.” He hesitates for a second. “But I also care about you.”

You feel heat flushing your cheeks and you avert your gaze, even though it’s too dark for him to see your face anyway.

“You shouldn’t,” you mutter, “she’s the one that matters.”

“So do you,” he grumbles.

“Not like her.”

He heaves a sigh and you hear him moving closer to you in the darkness.

“Listen to me.” His tone is gruff, but you can feel the intensity behind his words. “I couldn’t- shit, I couldn’t do this alone. Just take care of yourself. Don’t be stupid. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agree in a hushed voice.

You know that this is the closest that Joel Miller will ever get to admitting that he doesn’t hate you. You try to fight the feeling, but warmth is spreading through your chest at the thought that he actually wants you around, that he’s not just letting you tag along because he doesn’t know what else to do with you.

It’s your first real night in Jackson, the first time that you’ve arrived at a place and didn’t immediately make plans on where to go next. The first night that you’re spending in a real bed in god knows how long. The first night that you don’t have to sleep with one eye open, always waiting for the next danger to find you.

And the first night in a bed with Joel. Neither of you had protested when you were assigned to one house with him and Ellie. You know what Joel and you look like, from the outside. You don’t think that you care, not really.

The house has three bedrooms anyway, so it didn’t matter. At least that’s what you thought, until you had all said good night to each other and you were lying alone in the darkness, wide eyes staring up at the dark ceiling, as you were trying to stop the anxious shivers running through your body.

It was too quiet, the mattress too soft, the room too… empty. You had gotten used to the steady breathing of two other people around you, and now that they weren’t in the room with you, everything felt wrong. What if you woke up tomorrow to find them both dead, to find yourself alone in the world once more? How were you supposed to make sure they were safe when you weren’t with them?

Before you could overthink it, you got up, checked on Ellie who was sleeping soundly and padded over to the room Joel was in.

“Can’t sleep?” his low drawl had greeted you as soon as you cracked the door open.

You wordlessly shook your head and he sighed.

“Me neither. Doesn’t feel right like this, does it?”

That’s how you ended up under the covers next to him. No touching of course, both of you keeping a firm distance. This was just so you could both catch some sleep. Just for tonight.

Except that you’re still not able to let sleep drag you under. Your body is tense, acutely aware of his presence next to you, his body heat easily traveling the short distance between you. You could bridge it just as easily, just reach your hand out to - do what, exactly?

You huff out a breath and turn onto your side, shuffling the sheets with your movement.

“What’s wrong?”

His voice is barely above a whisper and before you can open your mouth to respond, his fingers find your face and graze over your cheek in a barely there contact.

He had touched you before, of course, checking you for injuries, soothing you with a hand on your arm or a brush over your hair, but never like this. Never in the darkness of the night and never when you could sense the tension in the air between you, could almost feel his breath on your face. You have never been so acutely aware of the warmth of his fingers that’s seeping into your skin right now.

“I just- I never thanked you for taking me here, for taking care of me.”

It’s not what’s on the forefront of your mind, not the thing that’s plaguing you in this moment, but it’s still true, and much easier than admitting to him that feeling his body so close right next to yours has you practically burning up, has your fingers itching to touch him, to breathe him in.

Joel hums.

“You don’t have to. Of course I did that.”

You try swallowing the lump that suddenly builds in your throat.

“No one ever cared about me like you,” you admit in a whisper.

“Hey,” Joel mumbles, alarmed at the thickness of unshed tears in your voice, “come here, sweetheart.”

Both of his arms reach towards you and his hands splay over your shoulders to pull you into his chest. His warmth engulfs you and you feel the tension in your body subsiding as you’re resting your head over his steady heartbeat.

“We’re safe now,” he whispers into your hair. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

if you liked this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging - nothing would make me happier 🤍

#janas fics #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #Pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedrostories

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rmsrkive · 9 months

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unconditionally (02) — jung hoseok

summary: for the past three, almost four years, it has only been you and your twins after having been abandoned by your ex-boyfriend. you expected it to remain that way for the rest of your lives until one day you accidentally run into one of his bandmates at the park

pairings: ex-boyfriend/baby daddy!hoseok x f. reader (exes to lovers)

warnings: none

rating: pg-13

word count: 5745

author's note: here is chapter 2! my apologies for taking so long to update 😔 i start school very soon so updates will most likely take even longer but i will try my best to post as soon as i can!

taglist [closed]: @darkphoenix5037 @mushroom-main @partyparty-yah @persnyako @violetpenguinkris @loveforred @thedarkeside @coffeewanderer @inlovewithallmusic @deejay08 @cryinginmyroomsposts @ilikekpop-c @aloverga @as-hs-blog @bangtanlovesk @mintchocoss @hopeonysus @smoltika @jjkluver7 @earth2joon @oricephany @ayoo-bangtan @honsoolgloss @shadowyjellyfishfest @nochuel @addictedtohobi @renoirgoh @btsfluffsworld @scuzmunkie @bellamuerte1987 @strawbi-reads @secfir @missmischief1408 @savage-aespa @bts-dream @mixedfandxms

please note that the taglist is CLOSED. i made it clear multiple times that i will no longer be adding people to the taglist after uploading the first chapter yet many people have still asked to be added. that being said, if you have asked to be added to the taglist after chapter 1 was published and prior to chapter 2, you have been added. i will not add anybody else from here on out so please do not ask! if i added you but your user is not able to be tagged, please update your visibility settings so other blogs can find you. any blogs that are unable to be tagged will be removed from the taglist moving forward. thank you for understanding.

masterlist

“When are you gonna visit HYBE, Y/N?” Seungcheol asked.

“Have you forgotten that she’s a working woman with two kids?” Eunae questioned, glancing up at him as she was lying on his chest.

You were tempted to hang up on them with the amount of PDA they were displaying since Eunae called you, unamused by how often Seungcheol would cut his girlfriend off mid-sentence to kiss her. It was sweet how loving the couple could be but witnessing it face-to-face (well, face-to-screen) was less than appealing. “Now why would I visit when I see you guys at least twice a week?”

Seungcheol rolled his eyes. “It’s not me who wants to see you but the other members. Seungkwan has been begging me to ask you to visit because he misses the twins.”

Out of all of the members, Seungkwan was the twins’ number one fan. Ever since he met them, he immediately fell in love with them and loved it when you visited HYBE. More often than not, you visited during work hours because of him.

“Seungkwan is more than welcome to come over to my new place whenever he wants. Besides, I’m much closer now to the HYBE building now so it’s easier for him to come over.” You replied.

“You know that he won’t ever ask to go over. He’s too scared to ask and doesn’t want to invite himself.”

“Then I’ll invite him. I would love to have extra hands helping me with the twins.”

You poured out crackers into bowls before abandoning your phone to give the snacks to the twins. They were sitting on the living room floor, fixated on the most recent episode of Robocar Poli to even glance at you. You settled on the couch with a cup of coffee, turning your attention back to Seungcheol and Eunae.

“Let me see my babies,” Eunae said, using Seungcheol’s chest to sit herself up. “I haven’t seen them in so long.”

“You saw them yesterday.” You pointed out, to which she simply rolled her eyes.

You called our Jaeyoung’s name, urging him to look at the screen to look at Eunae. His face brightened when he realized who was calling him, grabbing your phone eagerly.

“Imo!” He shrieked.

“Jaeyoungie!” Eunae cooed. “Imo misses you so much!”

Jaeyoung simply giggled, putting his face towards the screen as close as he could before you pulled your phone away from him. Seungcheol tried grabbing his attention but failed once Jaeyoung caught sight of Robocar Poli again. He tossed your phone to the side, sliding back down onto the ground.

“Wow, okay.” Seungcheol scoffed.

“You can talk to Jaehee if that makes you feel better.” You put your phone in front of Jaehee’s face. “Seungcheol samchon and Eunae imo want to see you, petal.”

Jaehee turned her head towards the phone unamused that her TV time was interrupted but immediately smiled upon seeing who was on the phone. She giggled when Seungcheol said her name and smiled, burying her face in the crook of your neck. You recently discovered that Jaehee had the biggest crush on Seungcheol, which you found absolutely hilarious and endearing. At first, she didn't see him more than an uncle but over the past few months, she became more shy around him. After a short interrogation, Jaehee confessed that she liked Seungcheol samchon and was quite determined to marry him one day.

"Hi, pretty girl. I miss you." Seungcheol grinned.

Jaehee risked taking a peek at him before whipping back around and squealing. You patted her back, laughing when she tried hiding between your legs.

“Why are you so shy when you see Seungcheol samchon? You guys are best friends.” You teased, tickling Jaehee’s stomach.

She laughed before pushing your hand away, rolling off of the couch and onto the ground next to Jaeyoung. You gasped, trying to catch her before she slammed on the floor but she immediately sat upright, seemingly unhurt. You stared at her blankly, letting out a sigh.

“Am I able to visit tomorrow?”

Getting into the HYBE building was a hassle. You had been given a special pass by Seungcheol after he and Seungkwan begged to allow you to visit anytime. It was a bit difficult trying to convince the management team and Bang PD to give you a pass, considering that you were neither an employee, a family member, nor a significant other of any of the idols. You didn't know what allowed somebody to qualify for a pass without any difficulties but a single mom with twins certainly didn't meet the qualifications. Even with the pass, you had to show your ID before heading to the working floors and proceed to use the face scan before every door. Though it was tedious work, it was worth being able to see the Seventeen members while they were working.

"Jaehee! Jaeyoung!"

You quickly moved out of the way after placing Jaehee on the ground, allowing twelve grown men to bombard the twins the second you walked through the doors. Seungkwan and Mingyu were the first to reach the twins (as usual) and immediately swung them into their arms. The remaining members quickly surrounded the four of them, fighting for Jaehee and Jaeyoung's attention.

"Well hello to you guys too." You huffed, placing your bag on the ground.

"Hi, Y/N. Thanks for coming to visit." Joshua smiled.

Joshua was the only member who ever said hi to you when you visited the boys. While everybody else threw themselves the twins, he never failed to make an effort to catch up with you and made sure to greet you before he said hi to the twins. You smiled at him, walking into his open arms and squeezing him tightly.

“Hi, Josh.” You beamed.

“You haven’t visited us in so long, what happened?” He asked.

“I’m a busy woman and you’re part of a busy group,” You answered.

Raising two children on your own while simultaneously trying to run a café was not an easy feat and the boys certainly didn’t fare any better with their continuous preparations for new songs, albums, and comebacks. Their next comeback was just around the corner so it would more likely than not would be the last time that you would be able to see them for a while. You were grateful that their management team managed to squeeze in a few hours for you and the twins to visit in the midst of such a busy season.

“We’re never too busy for you, Y/N.” Joshua grinned.

“You’re flattering me.”

The two of you joined the rest of the boys on the floor, where they were all in a circle while the twins were in the middle. Since they had first met you and the twins, every visitation was the same: the twins would be taken into the middle of a big circle while the members fought to grab their attention and play with them. Once the twins got bored of sitting in the middle of the circle, the boys (yes, all thirteen of them), took them on a tour around the HYBE building as if it was their visitation. They never failed to do the same thing every. Single. Time. It was amazing how the members had a consistent routine and never got bored of it.

You sat next to Joshua and caught up with one another while watching the boys quite literally fight to keep Jaehee and Jaeyoung's attention on them for more than five seconds. This was another consistent part of your routine; quietly speaking with Joshua while watching the others make a fool of themselves. You didn't get to see him often and always enjoyed the conversations you shared so you always jumped at the opportunity to speak with him.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Seungcheol and Soonyoung wiggling their eyebrows at the two of you, causing you to roll your eyes. This was the third thing that remained consistent whenever you saw the Seventeen members: the Hong Y/N Agenda.

"Isn't that such a good name?" Soonyoung asked giddily. "I thought of it myself." He puffed his chest out, proud of himself for not thinking of such a (not so) creative name.

"Yeah, I can tell." You scoffed. "Now why, pray tell, have you thought of the Hong Y/N Agenda? What is that even supposed to mean?"

Seungcheol suddenly clapped his hands together, startling you away from him. He had the same shit-eating grin that Soonyoung was adorning and quite frankly, it was a bit unsettling. "This is operation 'get Y/N and Joshua together' and it begins now."

"What?"

Seungcheol and Soonyoung knew you were going to react like this. You always insisted that you weren't interested in dating and had no intention of doing so because the twins were your utmost priority (which they respected and understood) but they desperately wanted you and Joshua to date. After the messy and disastrous breakup with Hoseok, they believed that you deserved a gentleman who would treat you far better than your wretched ex-boyfriend did and who would also love your kids unconditionally despite the circumstances. Who better than Hong Jisoo?

It was far-fetched, that they both knew and perhaps a bit unreasonable but they wanted to see you with a partner who would treat you right. And though you didn't admit it, they knew that you wanted to put yourself out there and find a new man but they stayed out of it out of respect for your choice. Now that you had been friends with them for long enough, they no longer cared and wanted to push you to give Joshua a chance.

"We are going to set you up with Joshua!" Soonyoung cheered as he threw his hands in the air.

"Who's we?" You demanded.

"The two of us, of course." Seungcheol immediately replied. "And whoever else wants to join."

You narrowed your eyes at them suspiciously. "And why exactly do you want us together?"

"Why not?" Soonyoung shrugged.

Their responses seemed well calculated, almost as if they had rehearsed beforehand what they were going to say. It was clear they discussed whatever agenda they had going on and decided it was the right time to let you in on what was happening. Why they didn't decide to tell Joshua was beyond you considering that they were closer to him than they were with you but whether he was told first, it didn't change that neither of you was interested in the other.

"I'm not looking to be in a relationship nor am I interested right now." You snorted.

"Why not? You deserve an amazing man and that amazing man is Joshua." Soonyoung dramatically winked. "He's the perfect package; he’s the same age as you, tall, handsome, caring, gentle, great singer, great in bed—"

"Ew, how do you know he's great in bed?" You interrupted, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

The members were obviously close with each other having been together since 2015 but you were unaware that they were that close. You cringed at the mere idea of how they found out, wondering what had been going on in the dorms for the past seven years.

"I don't, but you can find out for us." He winked again.

You scrunched your face in disgust. "Listen, I appreciate that you guys care about me and Joshua but it's not happening. Neither of us is interested and are both far too busy to date each other."

Seungcheol pouted, grabbing a hold of your arm and shaking it. "Aw, why not? At least give him a shot." He whined.

"Oh, stop it." You yanked your arm out of his grasp. "You're too grown to be sulking like this."

Soonyoung burst into laughter, falling over onto the couch while Seungcheol looked deeply hurt and offended. You simply stared at them with your arms crossed over your chest and remained silent.

"Me and Joshua are not gonna date. Leave us alone."

And leave you alone they didn't.

It had been months since they told you about their Hong Y/N Agenda and they still weren't giving. They used every chance they got to subtly push the two of you closer but utterly failed every time. They even got Mingyu, Seokmin, and Seungkwan in on it, and the trio was equally as enthusiastic about getting you to date Joshua. It was funny at first but truthfully, you were now starting to become annoyed.

"Jaehee likes me the best." Seungcheol's boastful remark and the exclamations of disagreement snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked over at the boys to see what they were arguing, watching how Soonyoung and Mingyu were shouting at their leader. "Watch."

Seungcheol turned his body toward Jaehee, clapping his hands together to catch her attention, and opened his arms. "Jaehee-yah, do you want to sit with samchon?"

Jaehee giddily stood up from Jun's lap and trotted over to him, throwing herself into his lap. She squealed when Seungcheol wrapped her up in a tight hug and peppered her face in kisses, giggling whenever his lips touched her. She turned around to face him so she could hug him back. Seungcheol stared at the others smugly while they all scowled, silently cursing at him. Jaeyoung was quietly sitting in Seungkwan's lap, having settled down long ago. He had chosen Seungkwan as his favorite from the start and never changed his mind about who he liked best. Jaehee was always changing her mind over the months but her twin remained loyal.

"What does he have that we don't?" Mingyu scoffed. "Dimples?"

"Good looks, I guess."

Your remark caused yet another uproar. You sat in silence as the members shouted over each other to yell at you, much more hurt over the statement than they had to be. You shared a look with Joshua, who stared at you apologetically and told you to ignore them.

"The next person to speak is an idiot." You sang.

It never failed to amaze you how quickly thirteen men could be silenced with one simple phrase. They immediately shut their mouths before settling a glare on you in retaliation. You let out an unattractive snort and turned to the twins.

"Jaehee, Jaeyoung, it's time to go home. Seventeen samchon are being mean to eomma."

"We're sorry, we're sorry, don't take them away from us," Seungkwan whined, hugging Jaeyoung closer toward his chest. "You can kick all of them out, just leave me and Coups hyung out of it. We did nothing."

Seungcheol furiously nodded in agreement, scooting away from you out of fear that you would take Jaehee away from him. You rolled your eyes, waving both of them away. "Take the twins around the building, I can tell you're getting antsy."

You waved a final goodbye as the twins and members flooded out of the room, sighing happily as the door slammed shut behind them. You sprawled out across the floor like a starfish, delighted for the moment of peace and silence. Joshua glanced down at you amusedly before he lifted your head so you could lay on his lap. You smiled up at him, poking his nose as a gesture of gratitude.

"You're the best, Joshuji."

"Okay." Joshua shoved you off of his lap.

Your head smacked against the ground causing you to wince. You sat up and kicked Joshua in the stomach, watching in satisfaction as he doubled over in pain. He mustered a glare at you with a murderous glint in his eyes and lunged at you when you broke out into obnoxious laughter.

"Hey, this isn't fair!" You exclaimed, wiggling around to escape from his strong grasp. "You're the one who pushed me off of your lap! I slammed my head against the floor because of you. What if I'm concussed?"

Joshua had you pinned on the ground with your wrists above your head as he held them with his right hand and settled down on top of your legs. "If you're concussed then that's unfortunate, I guess."

Before you could retort back at him, the door flew open and slammed against the wall. One by one, the members all filed back into the room with alarmed looks on their faces. They came to an abrupt stop when they caught sight of you and Joshua, wondering what they walked on and what the two of you could have possibly been doing in the two minutes they were gone.

"What the fuck?" Mingyu squawked.

Joshua quickly got off of you, scrambling a few feet away to keep some distance. You sat up, pointing your finger at the younger man accusingly. "Hey, don't swear in front of my kids like that."

"Don't turn this on me! You had Joshua on top of you like some kind of harlot." He hissed.

"Excuse me?" Joshua's initial panic wore off and he glared at the younger man, taking the insult to heart. "What did you just call me?" Mingyu backed away upon seeing him stand up on his feet, suddenly fearing him.

Seungkwan smacked Mingyu's arm harshly. "That's not what's important right now! There are more pressing matters at hand, Kim Mingyu."

"What happened?" You questioned, standing up as well. "You guys were barely out there for five minutes. It does not take you guys only five minutes to go around the entire building no matter how quickly you guys tour it."

The room fell silent upon your question as the rest of the members glanced at each other. You sensed the tension in the air and shared a look with Joshua, who appeared equally as confused and concerned with the change in atmosphere.

"Is something wrong?"

Everybody looked at Seungcheol, instinctively turning toward their leader, to tell the truth. He stared back at them, silently urging someone else to take the reins but they simply looked away. Not only was he the leader, but he was also the member who was closest to you because of Eunae.

"We just ran into Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung outside of the bathroom..."

"You what?" You shouted, getting up on your feet as Joshua followed suit. "Please tell me you're lying."

"Sorry, Y/N, but I'm afraid he's not. They were coming out of the bathrooms while we were on the way to the elevators and they caught sight of the twins. We weren't even out there for thirty seconds before running into them." Jihoon explained.

Your knees locked together and you sunk back down to the ground, in disbelief at what you were hearing. You felt sick to your stomach as a wave of nausea washed over you, making you whimper quietly. Joshua immediately knelt down beside you, rubbing your back gently. Wonwoo joined the two of you, squeezing your shoulder gently, and offered a kind smile.

"They didn't ask about the twins, noona. They just said hello and asked if we were preparing for our comeback. It was small talk that lasted less than a minute." He reassured.

“But they still saw the twins.” You mumbled, tears stinging your eyes. “It’s one thing for Jungkook to see them again but Taehyung and Jimin? There’s no way that the twins are going to be kept from Hoseok.”

You thought it was pathetic crying over their run-in with the Bangtan members, feeling like a child for immediately resorting to tears but you were afraid and overwhelmed. The past three years had been spent cautiously around Seoul, trying to steer clear from any places where Hoseok or his bandmates may be. You managed to avoid them for the entirety of the twins’ birth but all of that came crashing down in vain within days. The effort you put in suddenly didn’t matter.

“We can go talk to them.” Minghao offered. “Mingyu, Seokmin, and I are friends with Jungkook so we can ask him to keep it between them until you’re ready to talk to Hoseok hyung.”

You rapidly shook your head. “No, no, I couldn’t ask you guys to do that. I don’t want to burden any of you.”

“It’s not a burden, noona. Nothing is a burden when it comes to you and the twins. We would do anything to protect the three of you and you know that.” Seokmin firmly said.

“Don’t worry, Y/N noona. We’ll talk to him as soon as he’s finished with work. Everything will work out." Mingyu knelt down beside you to pull you into a tight hug, suffocating you with his thick arms. "If not, I can always blackmail Jungkook with something. I have a lot of dirt on him that his fans would love to hear."

“Bye-bye!” The tiny girl waved enthusiastically before Seungcheol grabbed her arm and yanked it back down.

“Bye!” Taehyung grinned.

“Did the girl look like Hoseok hyung or am I blind?” Jimin asked as soon as the Seventeen members scurried back into their studio and slammed the door shut.

“That’s what I was thinking.” Taehyung frowned. “And the little boy looked like Y/N noona. Isn’t that so funny? Those random kids look like Hoseok hyung and Y/N—” He cut himself off and his eyes widened, realizing that his words were true. The two kids who looked like the ex-couple were their kids.

He and Jimin immediately looked over at Jungkook, who had been oddly silent the entire time. The maknae lifted his head, a nervous expression painted across his face before he forced out a laugh. "Haha, yeah, funny isn't it?"

Jimin narrowed his eyes. "You knew about the kids, didn't you?"

Jungkook shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." He turned his nose up, refusing to look into their eyes as they stared him down.

"Don't lie, Jeon Jungkook. You can't lie for shit." Taehyung snapped.

"Okay, fine, I did know about the twins because I met Y/N at the park a week ago. You can't tell Hobi hyung though." Jungkook confessed.

“What?”

An offended and hurt expression crossed both Jimin and Taehyung’s faces while Jungkook stared back apologetically. "I'm sorry but I couldn't tell you guys because it isn't my place. I ran into Y/N and her kids at the park a few days ago but it was a brief conversation.”

“It doesn’t matter if it isn’t your place, something as big as that should be told. Does Hobi hyung even know?”

Jungkook rapidly shook his head, noticing for Taehyung to zip his lips. “No, he doesn’t and it should stay that way. It took him months to get over Y/N noona, he doesn’t need her to come back and push him back to square one.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows. “Why not? I think he deserves to know that his ex-girlfriend has been raising his kids on his own.”

“Her kids.” The maknae corrected. "No offense to Hobi hyung but he can't call him his kids if he left before they left the first trimester of the pregnancy."

In any other situation, Jimin and Taehyung would laugh at his remark but it only made them angrier about the situation. They glared at him, causing Jungkook to helplessly shrug his shoulders. As much as he wanted to tell Hoseok, he decided to listen to Seokjin and Yoongi, fearing a fight would ensue. Each step from here on out had to be taken carefully to prevent the situation from spiraling out of control.

"Well, I don't care whether or not he's part of their lives, I'm telling him," Jimin replied.

"No, we can't tell him. Can you stop thinking about what you want for a second and think about what would happen if Hobi hyung found out? It would cause too many problems and the last thing we need is his ex-girlfriend and kids waltzing back into his life out of nowhere. All four of them deserve better than that." Jungkook snapped.

"We won't tell him for now but if it takes too long for you to tell her then we will." Taehyung finalized. "By the end of this week. If we ran into her today and you saw her a few days ago then he's definitely gonna see her at some point. We might as well rip the bandage off."

Jungkook looked at him wearily but nodded his head in agreement. "Fine, but we have to tell the other hyungs. Seokjin and Yoongi hyung don't want them to know."

"You told them already?" Jimin shouted, the tips of his ears turning red out of anger.

"Only because they're older and wiser." Jungkook reasoned. "Maybe you should've been born before 1995?”

"I hope this bites you in the ass, Jeon Jungkook."

You tried your best to remain in good spirits for the rest of the time you visited the Seventeen members and they tried their best to your mind off of what transpired a few hours ago. They profusely apologized for running into the Bangtan members but you brushed it off, reassuring them that they had nothing to be sorry for. Deciding to meet the boys at HYBE rather than their dorms was a risk in itself, considering that the BTS members moved their work into the building as well. You had been lucky enough not to run into them over the past two years however deep down inside, you were aware that the time would eventually come. It was just unfortunate that it was today out of all days.

"Thanks for visiting us, Y/N. It was nice seeing you again." Joshua held the door open for you, ushering you to exit first before following you after you with a sleeping Jaehee in his arms.

You had Jaeyoung in your arms, his head resting on your shoulder as he slept as soundly as his sister. You swore you could feel your shirt slowly becoming wet as his drool slowly leaked out of his mouth. "It was nice seeing you too, Shua. Thanks for inviting me over, especially when you guys are busy with your comeback."

"We'll always have time for you so please come visit whenever you get the chance."

Joshua, being the gentleman he was, offered to help you take the twins down to your car once they fell asleep. You graciously accepted, much to the dismay of Mingyu and Seungkwan, who attempted to protest but were immediately silenced by a single look from Seungcheol. Whatever he told them as you and Joshua exited the studio seemed to appease him, and they were far too happy waving the two of you goodbye with cheeky grins on their faces.

"Come visit me at the cafe when you get a chance. We just put up our spring seasonal menu so there are a lot of new pastries and drinks to try."

"Only if you give me a free drink." Joshua teased.

You made a face at him. "Not all of us are multi-millionaire idols, Jisoo. Some of us have to make money somehow." You retorted.

"Then I guess I'll have to buy your cafe out so you no longer have a salary."

"Jisoo!"

"Y/N?"

You turned around with furrowed eyebrows, eyes focusing on the person who called your name. Your smile was quickly wiped off of your face and your heart dropped. Joshua moved closer to you, shifting Jaehee to his other arm so he could place his hand around your waist. You tightened your grip around Jaeyoung, afraid as if he was going to be taken away from you. Now you were fully convinced that whatever higher powers existed were trying to spite you for god knows what reason.

"Hi, Namjoon oppa."

A smile forced its way onto your face as you stared at the Bangtan members in front of you. It was silent between the eight of you, as everybody simply looked at each other, unknowing of what to do. It seemed as if the higher powers were giving you mercy because Hoseok was nowhere to be seen. He had been the first one you looked for when you saw the crowd of familiar men standing behind you and staring gobsmacked.

"What are you doing here?" Namjoon asked.

"I came to visit Joshua and the other Seventeen members." You stiffly answered.

Simultaneously, they glanced over at Joshua and their eyes trailed down from his face to the hand that was casually on your waist. They narrowed their eyes before looking back up, smiling at the two of you kindly as if they weren’t trying to shoot lasers through Joshua. You frowned and stepped closer to him, irritated with the one-sided beef they suddenly seemed to have with Joshua.

“Ah, I see.” Namjoon nodded. “How have you been?”

“Good.”

You eyed him suspiciously but he continued smiling at you, acting as if everything that had transpired four years ago never happened. He turned to Joshua, finally acknowledging him with a slight bow of his head.

"Hi, Joshua-ssi. I heard from Jungkook that Seventeen is working on its comeback. How are things going?" Namjoon flashed his dimples at him as if it would appease the tension.

"It's going well, thank you for asking," Joshua replied stiffly.

It fell silent again and the tension grew even more. You were beginning to grow restless as everybody remained quiet, becoming irritated as well. You didn't understand why the Bangtan members felt the need to talk to you after they made it clear years ago that they didn't want anything to have to do with you and would no longer make an effort to maintain your friendship. Why would you want to be remotely anywhere near them after they had dumped you to the side of the road like you were a piece of trash?

"Sorry to interrupt, but can we go Y/N? Jaehee is starting to feel like dead weight and my arms are numb." Joshua whispered

You gasped and hastily took your car keys out of your pocket. "Of course, I'm sorry for making you hold her for so long."

"It's alright. It's nice being able to hold Jaehee without Mingyu trying to fight me for her."

You turned back to the others, your customer service smile plastered on your face. "I'm afraid I have to go, it was nice seeing you guys though. Have a good day!" You cheerily waved to them before stalking off to the parking garage, Joshua struggling to keep up with your fast pace.

"Did she just use her customer service voice on us?" Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows.

"We just saw Hobi's kids but her voice is what you're concerned about?" Yoongi retaliated.

"You were right, Jungkookie. Jaehee looks exactly like Hoseok. She actually reminds me a lot of Jiwoo noona." Namjoon mused.

Jimin stared after you, watching your figure grow smaller and smaller until you disappeared out the door that led to the parking garage with Joshua close behind you. There was a mix of emotions swirling around him, ranging from anger and fury to guilt and regret. After Hoseok, he was the one who was most angry with you simply because of his close friendship with the man. He had seen all of the jokes about Hoseok being the maknae line leader and wherever he was, the youngest three followed and it was true. Naturally, Jimin took his side as did the rest of the members but anybody can say that he loves and cares for his members more deeply than the others. As difficult as it was dropping you, it was easy to choose Hoseok over you because family comes first and at the end of the day, you were simply somebody his older brother. A harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.

Now that he was aware of the situation, however, Jimin was beginning to second guess himself. For so long, he believed Hoseok and was convinced that you cheated on him but now he wondered if Hoseok had merely been jumping to conclusions with the accusations. No, he did jump to conclusions, making baseless allegations without having any real evidence that you cheated. Jimin didn't feel the need to see proof about whether or not you cheated because Hoseok was furious when you told him about your pregnancy. Hoseok rarely got mad and when he did, he truly was angry. That in itself was enough proof for Jimin yet everything he believed was starting to crumble right in front of his eyes.

Had you been innocent this entire time?

"I can't believe Y/N has been telling the truth the whole time." Taehyung frowned. "I really thought she was baby-trapping him."

"What did Jin hyung and I tell you guys? Hobi was making accusations without any real proof.” Yoongi nagged. "And look who was right all along?'

"Hey, you and Jin never said anything. All you said was that Hobi hyung should've heard Y/N out, not that she didn't cheat." Jimin frowned.

"That's the same thing as saying that Hoseok had no proof. It doesn't take a genius to understand what we were trying to say." Yoongi argued.

"What's your deal with Y/N noona?" Jungkook questioned. "You've been so hell-bent on defending her even after all of us cut contact with her. Are you in love with her or something?"

The older man scoffed. "What? Don't say something so ridiculous, Jeon Jungkook. Shut your mouth."

Namjoon watched silently, sensing that an argument was about to break out between the group if he didn't step in. The breakup was a heated topic when Hoseok first told the members about what happened. The maknaes immediately sided with Hoseok while Seokjin and Yoongi were more rational and urged him to at least talk to you before making any rash decisions. Despite this, they still cut ties with you out of respect for Hoseok and didn't push when he refused to receive closure from the relationship.

"He's just saying that maybe one of us should've talked to Y/N to hear her side of the story about what happened. I think Hoseok could've at least heard her out so she wouldn't have had to raise their kids on her own."

"Our what?"

Seokjin froze and pressed his lips shut. He glanced over at the others, who looked equally as terrified as he felt. They slowly turned around to look at Hoseok, who was standing behind them with an angry expression.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

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#jung hoseok #jhope #bts jhope #hoseok fic #jhope fic #hobi fic #hoseok x reader #jhope x reader #hobi x reader #hoseok angst #bts fic #unconditionally

1K notes · View notes

jinnie-ret · 7 months

Note

chan getting a call from 9th member reader, its late and hes still in the studio. he hears readers quiet voice telling him that theres someone following her as she walks back to the dorms from a late night solo dance practice session. chan has that Protective streak that makes him Panic the moment he thought something was wrong with how they were speaking into the phone so to find out they were in genuine danger and not just scared because there was a spider?? i just know that man is Terrifying to anyone who puts his members in danger, especially their only female member knowing how dangerous the world is for women

night stalker

bang chan x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: angst

content warnings: stalking, violence

word count: 1.1k

summary: chan does his best to save you in time after you call him in a panic about someone following you late at night.

Hi! Sorry it's late but I hope that this fits the vibe you wanted! I ended up writing it as a platonic relationship but it is still a Chan focus x reader!

As always, like, reblog if you enjoyed, and my asks are open for any requests you may have. And let me know if you'd like to be tagged when I post :)

BANG CHAN'S MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

Chan was a leader through and through. The leader of Stray Kids. A protector to his kids. Being the oldest member too, as well as being the eldest of his siblings, gave him these instinctual habits to always check up on his members. So when he got a call from you, at 1am, scared out of your mind, his brain went into overdrive. One, because the way your voice shook, and two, because he didn't know you were walking back to the dorms, alone and in the dark.

"Hey, Chan? I-I think there's someone following me..." you whispered into the phone, your hand shaking as you did your best to maintain your pace of walking.

Being the only female member of the group, and being the youngest, Chan couldn't help but look after you in a slightly different way to the other members. Of course, he loved all of you the same, but unfortunately there were differences in being a female idolised figure. The sexualising comments... he hated how it came with you being a girl. And he knew, that the fear of someone following you late at night, would have come true eventually. He just didn't prepare himself for how he'd feel when it happened.

"Y/Nnie? It's 1am... where are you? Talk to me," Chan rushed out his words, face frozen in horror as he pushed himself back in his desk chair and started grabbing his belongings to leave and find you.

To save you.

"They're definitely following me... shit. I'm near those 24 hour convenience shops," you did your best to inform Chan of your surroundings, despite the pounding of your own heartbeat overwhelming your senses when you realised your paranoia had struck gold this time because you were right to be scared.

One pair of footsteps followed yours.

"Ok, listen to me, Y/Nnie, stay there, I'll come and meet you and I'll take you home, yeah?" Chan rushed out of the company, speed walking his way along the route to where the road of convenience shops.

"No, no, I can't just stay where I am... what if something happens? I'm scared, Channie," your voice broke as you did your best to keep a hushed volume.

"I know you're scared sweetheart, but I'm on my way, just stay on the phone," Chan spoke through his slightly heavier breaths, doing his best to get to you ASAP.

"I'm going into a shop, I don't want to be outside anymore, I'm scared if something will happen to me," you rambled, the ding of the chimes on the door heard by Chan.

"Ok, tell me where you are, can you do that for me?" Chan reassuringly asked.

"I'm, in that blue shop, you know the one with the dodgy neon light?" you tried to calm yourself down, beginning your path of going up and down the aisles, but the chimes were heard once again, "they're here. They followed me in."

"I'm about 3 minutes away, just stay on the line, it's ok, it will all be ok, is there anyone else in the shop, Y/N?" Chan spoke firmly, wanting you to know he was close by.

"N-no, just an elderly cashier, but she wouldn't be able to help if-"

"There will be no if, Y/N, don't finish that sentence sweetheart, I'm nearly there," Chan cut you off, maybe because he didn't want you to take your mind to that place, or maybe because he didn't want to be in that place either.

"Ok, please hurry I'm - hey! Get off of me!" your whispers turned into shouts as you were grabbed and winded by the punch of your night time stalker.

"Y/N! Talk to me! What's happening?" Chan's fast footsteps pounding against the concrete roads would have been heard by you if it weren't for your phone's abandoned spot on the ground.

Your stalker said nothing, yet had clear intentions as he hauled you into a free standing shelf of jars of cooking sauces. And your body took it with you to the ground as several of them smashed.

"Ahhh!" your shout of pain was heard before your body went flying.

"Y/N?!? Shit, I'm nearly there, I can see the shop from here!" Chan's words speedily echoed into the night.

Your attacker fled. Like the true coward he was. Yet you were thankful for your saviour that entered the shop moments after.

"Y/N??"

It took you a moment to realise that it was his voice playing out in real life, and no longer over the phone.

You groaned as you sat up, crawling away from the smashed glass behind you.

"Y/N! It's ok I've got you, I'm here now sweetheart, I'm sorry, I should have got here sooner..." Chan fussed over you, lifting you into his arms and checking you over as you held your stomach and stood in wobbly feet.

"Home, want to go home," you cried out, but no tears left your eyes, you were just feeling overwhelmed and in so much pain.

"I know, I know, I texted our manager to meet near us in a car, we'll get you home," he hushed you, supporting your weight as you left the shop.

"Where? Are they here? Are they close?" you panicked, not wanting to be waiting around in the open any longer than you needed to be.

"It's ok, calm down, I've got you, yeah? The car is over there," he guided you into the back of the car and sat with you, dealing with explaining things to the manager as the drive home began.

"How badly are you hurt? Let me see," Chan pushed your hair back out of your face, looking for any trades of pain which were so clearly written amongst your features.

"My back and my stomach, it'll probably just bruise though..." you winced, head resting against the seat of the car.

"Do you think you'll need the hospital?" Chan worriedly asked.

"No, but... I think I'll need a break... maybe... I don't know I just need to get my head around this, oppa," you leant against him, reveling in the comfort that not only his presence brought you, but the soothing circles he rubbed into your shoulder.

"Ok, ok, we can do that, we'll take all the time you need. I'll get you straight to bed and I'll explain it all to the members, don't worry, ok, I've got you," Chan laid out his thoughts, his priority right now being you. Everything else that came later he would deal with. He didn't want to put you under anymore stress than the current experience you just had. It was only fair that way, he thought.

tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @backintomykpopphaseagain @hannahhbahng @sakufilms

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whumpay · 2 months

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babe wake up new whumpay prompts dropped. like last year, im posting early for more time to prepare

Welcome to Whumpay 2024! Up above you will see the basic prompt list and down below the cut you will see it written out in a list, as well as three mini challenges (and by extension, the extreme edition)

Rules are the same as usual

You only have to use one (Or two, if you’re doing the extreme edition.) prompt a day! But you’re welcome to use multiple if you want to, and it still counts for both.

I know the description of the blog says it’s a writing event, but if you want to draw or make other kinds of content, that’s cool too.

Have fun, tag content warnings (such as noncon, graphic violence, etc) and try not to be crushed by the mortifying ordeal of posting your writing.

This is a pretty chill event so you can start posting whenever but I’ll be reblogging posts made to the #Whumpay2024 tag throughout May. For real this time.

These all also apply to these three special mini challenges, consisting of a 7 day, a 10 day, and a 14 day prompt list.

EXTREME EDITION: This year's extreme edition doesn't have its own prompt list, but instead, youll be taking all three mini challenges in order along with the main prompt list. Some of these fit pretty well, others less so.

1 - Mad Science:

Day 1: Strapped To An Operating Table

Day 2: Paralytic Drug

Day 3: Made A Lab Rat

Day 4: Vivisection

Day 5: Truth Potion/Serum/Spell

Day 6: Russian Roulette

1 - Attacks, Mental & Physical:

Day 7: Heart Attack

Day 8: Asthma Attack

Day 9: Animal Attack

Day 10: Panic Attack

3 - Ineffective Medical Care:

Day 11: Medical Torture

Day 12: Withholding Medical Treatment

Day 13: Medication Tampering

Day 14: Injury Brushed Off

Day 15: No Anesthetic

4: Mindfuck

Day 16: Presumed Dead

Day 17: Memory Loss

Day 18: Stockholm Syndrome

Day 19: Phantom Pains

Day 20: Love Potion/Spell

Day 21: Role Reversal

5. Nature's Revenge

Day 22: Slowly Running Out Of Air

Day 23: Natural Disaster

Day 24: Struck By Lightning

Day 25: Snowed In

Day 26: Heatstroke

6. Traps & Trauma

Day 27: Caught In A Net

Day 28: Traumatic Touch Aversion

Day 29: Used As Bait

Day 30: Flashbacks

Day 31: Choose Who Lives

Mini challenge #1: Torture

#1: Tortured For Information

#2: Whipping

#3: Branding

#4: Begging To Be Killed

#5: Recorded/Broadcast Torture

#6: False Execution

#7: Shock Collar

Mini Challenge #2: Dialogue

#8: “Why are you doing this?”

#9: “Don’t look.”

#10: “You look awful.”

#11: “Who did this to you?”

#12: “No one is coming for you.”

#13: “No one cares about me.”

#14: “Don’t lie to me.”

#15: “Stay with me, please.”

#16: ”You’re scaring me!”

#17: “You’re a monster.”

Mini Challenge #3: Aftermath

#18: Fighting Against Caretaker

#19: Seeking Revenge

#20: Taking The Blame

#21: Barely Conscious

#22: Disassociation

#23: Carried To Safety

#24: Scars

#25: Unhealthy Codependency

#26: Infected Wound

#27: Survivor’s Guilt

#28: Touch Starvation

#29: Abandonment Issues

#30: Cradled In Someone’s Arms

#31: Adrenaline Crash

Alt Prompts:

Death Game

Came Back Wrong

Attack The Injury

Healing Malfunction

Left For Dead

Mistaken Identity

Dazed

Trapped Under Rubble

Drowning

Disowned By Family

Hostage Situation

Have fun everybody!

#whump #whump event #whump writing #writing #whumpay #writers #writing event #whump prompt #whumpay2024 #prompt list #whump prompt list

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wistfulcynic · 6 months

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a non-izzy-centric reading of the events of season two

i didn't really want to get into this because it's so, so tiresome and i'd rather talk about the things i loved about this season. Poison, positivity, etc. But.

reading this post about people doubting their own judgement due to the overwhelming noise from Izzy stans along with a rewatch of season two from start to finish made me realise that i too had been influenced by a year and a half of being intensely frustrated by people insisting so loudly that OFMD was in fact the Izzy Hands Show. My initial issues with S2 mostly stemmed from overcompensating for that by resenting any development of Izzy on the screen because i did not want it to feed those people. Which meant that i also was centring Izzy in a way that he should not be centred! i was letting their noise lead me to read him as far more important than he actually is.

So i looked back at several points from the season that had me feeling uncomfortable and which, from a cursory browse through the Izzy tag i've concluded his stans see as a contradiction or a betrayal or something and re-evaluated them from the perspective of Izzy not being a main fucking character.

point one: "He's our dick."

When Archie (a newcomer and therefore a fairly effective audience stand-in for anyone not balls deep in fandom bullshit) asks Jim why they're going to so much trouble for Izzy, who she has immediately clocked as "kind of a dick", Jim gives this response. Which, if you think Izzy is important, may read as an expression of reluctant fondness. But then, Jim continues: "There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other, not just to survive." These lines are punctuated by a flashback to the famous Revenge crew found-family Renaissance-painting moment. Jim is nostalgic for the "good old days" of the Revenge under Stede's people-positive management style. It is out of respect for that (seemingly) lost way of life that they take the trouble for Izzy, not for Izzy himself. They'd have done the same for anyone, because they desperately want life to matter again. Izzy, as the person whose gamy leg is a direct result of his threatening Ed and bringing the kraken era down on all of them, is simply the one whose life happens to be on the line.

(honestly, i love this from Jim, who was one of Stede's boldest detractors in season one and still the crew member most likely to call him out on his bullshit. That's your "reluctant fondness" moment right there.)

point two: the new unicorn

apparently Izzy stans see the gift of the unicorn leg prosthetic as a symbol of deep love and respect from the crew to Izzy. Which is an absolutely wild reading when you look at what led up to it.

There's tension on the ship. Divisions. Lucius is chain-smoking and jump-scared by his own shadow. Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang are overcome by guilt over their mutiny and frantically scrubbing nonexistent blood from the deck in what is a fantastically darkly funny Lady Macbeth moment for them. Izzy is sloppy drunk and yelling nonsensical abuse at the unicorn masthead. Roach, Pete, Oluwande, and Wee John make a well-intentioned but ill-conceived attempt to bring everyone back together (i say "everyone" but Izzy, significantly, is not included) which leads to them all being at each other's throats in the sort of mutually-assured-destruction configuration that starts world wars. It's a great scene. Izzy is not a part of it.

until he interrupts them, throws the unicorn legs at them and in his drunken clumsiness breaks his prosthetic. He then pointedly refuses their offers of assistance and drags himself away along the floor by his arms.

my friends. This is peak pathos. The crew do not respect Izzy in this moment, they feel sorry for him. They realise that he's worse off than any of the rest of them and that knowledge brings them back together. Making the unicorn prosthetic is barely about Izzy at all. It's about the crew coming together, repairing the rifts in their found family and as a bonus helping out their grumpy second cousin who doesn't really want to be there but has nowhere else to go. It's also a very generous offer of a new place on the ship--as the new unicorn--and a fresh start. Because that's what life on the Revenge is. For everyone.

point three: la vie en rose

much has been made of Izzy putting on drag makeup and singing at the Calypso birthday party, and fair enough. That's a big character development point for him. i don't hate it, though i wish there'd been more build-up to it, a longer conversation between Izzy and Wee John at least (insert obligatory "fuck Max" here) but regardless, if we accept Izzy's amputated leg as cutting off his old self and replacing it with the unicorn then we can arrive at a place where he's able to participate in a drag performance without too much cognitive gymnastics.

i've written before about the curious choice to have Izzy sing La Vie En Rose in French (after he initially sang it in English) at the very moment when Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time. On first watch i felt viscerally troubled by it, it felt like a validation of the obsessive psychosexual reading of Izzy's feelings for Ed. Looking at the season as a whole, it feels more like a (cringy, creepy, waaaay over the line) attempt on his part to signal approval for Ed and Stede's relationship. Especially when taken in conjunction with his (super creepy, like wtf who greenlit this) interruption of their breakfast in bed the next morning to make a ham-fisted innuendo. Weird but okay i guess, it's not like Izzy and social niceties have ever gone hand in hand.

many people point to the drag scene as the crew embracing Izzy and welcoming him as one of them. Again, i don't disagree. But, also again, this is not specific to Izzy. This is just what they do. They also embraced Archie with her snake-cult stories, they re-embraced Ed (who yes, they do love, refutations of arguments that they don't love Ed are a whole other essay though) and later they embrace Zheng and Auntie and also Jackie who once stole their savings jar and threatened to cut off their noses. That's what they do! They embrace people! That's what the show is about!

point four: the death scene

i have to be honest, i still hate this. i don't hate that Izzy died, i hate that he died in Ed's arms with Ed calling him his only family. That still feels unearned to me, and alas was probably another victim of the shortened season. But even with this extremely kind and forgiving death scene, the stans are not satisfied! They feel that the entire crew should have been gathered round, assuring Izzy of their profound love for him. There should have been weeping at the funeral, wailing and gnashing of teeth, rending of garments etc. It's what he deserves as such a beloved member of the crew!

except he wasn't beloved. He was accepted, yes. Welcomed, even. But acceptance is a far cry from love. Cheering as someone sings a song at a party does not mean you feel ready to weep at their deathbed or proclaim your undying affection for them.

yet even so, the crew are visibly distraught at his death scene. There are tears in many eyes! But effusive declarations of feeling from any one of them other than Ed would have felt (to anyone not convinced Izzy is the main character) completely wrong and very weird. You can headcanon what you like to fill the gaps in canon but on screen we have seen very few meaningful interactions between Izzy and any of the existing crew aside from Fang and Lucius and to a lesser extent Wee John. Izzy's primary relationship with another character is with Ed and so, as much as i still don't like it, Ed is the only one who has any real reason to be at Izzy's side as he dies.

as for the brevity of the funeral and the fact that they went straight from it to Pete and Lucius's wedding instead of having, idk, a prolonged wake at which everyone speaks at length about how important Izzy was to them, i mean. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. More than enough screen time had already been given to a side character who spent most of it either being miserable himself or making others so. It was time for the rest of them to find some moments of joy. As Izzy himself said, not moving on is worse.

in conclusion, i'd like to address the people saying that Izzy should have lived so he could continue his arc of self-discovery and sure, that would have been great--on the Izzy Hands Show. But OFMD is about Ed and Stede and Izzy had served his purpose in their story. i feel certain there will be copious fanfics to soothe anyone who feels Izzy was shortchanged.

on the show, though, he was treated in a very logical and foreseeable way as the antagonist who was able to see the light at the end but not necessarily to thrive in such a well-lit environment. Literature (by which i mean also films and tv) abounds with examples of this sort of character. They see the error of their ways but they are too stuck in them, shaped by them, to exist comfortably in any other way. They help bring about change to benefit others and not for themselves, that is the bittersweet beauty of their endings.

Izzy let Ed go. He embraced the softer parts of himself. He died surrounded by people who may not have loved him but at least accepted him as one of their own and felt genuine sorrow about his passing. That is a satisfying narrative end for a reformed antagonist! If you truly feel that he was shortchanged by it then you have forgotten what show you're watching and what sort of character he was.

Izzy Hands: not the main character, still an interesting one, absolute nightmare, what a guy.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd season two #izzy critical #the izcourse #izzy hands meta #sorry not sorry to people who are going to hate this post but writing it has been therapeutic for me #i'm tired of hating a character on a show i love so much so i shall go back to thinking of him as the nasty rat man and focusing on faves #saira has Thoughts

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regretmedaisy · 6 months

Text

i can see you - tom riddle x fmc/reader

part II

loosely inspired by "i can see you" by taylor swift.

“I've been watchin' you for ages

And I spend my time tryin' not to feel it”

summary: She had always fancied Tom Riddle. It was an infatuation that bordered on love and obsession, that she had secretly grown and cared for, content with indulging in her fantasies and never bold enough to try and make them become reality.

When she meets him again in her adulthood, dormant longings resurface together with a newfound desire to be the object of his own devotion.

As their paths keep crossing, she starts to think he feels the same.

tags: afab mc, use of female pronouns and no descriptors (i tagged it as x reader because i guess it could be read as such if you use the same pronouns), somewhat period-accurate clothing, courtship (just a little because it's still tom riddle), fmc has a crush on tom, she's a bit anxious, a bit of fluff, explicit sexual desire, vaginal fingering, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, woman is on top.

please note that mc has a crush on tom, therefore the way she refers to him could sound a bit cheesy and exaggerated. i edited this last night and didn't read it again before posting. i'm sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes i missed.

bear with her in this one, she's a little anxious.

words: 6.7K

you can find part I here, I strongly recommend you read that one first.

this is me crawling out of my hole of shame to post this chapter.

i'm really sorry for this very late update, but the smut chapter is finally here after many days of writing (but still in time for smutober lol).

it's not crazy smut, but i hope it was worth the wait.

Part II: And I could see you up against the wall with me

She tapped her foot, pursing her red lips as she jotted a few numbers down on a parchment. She sighed, taking another folder from the pile on her side and checking if the reports corresponded.

When Serena, her boss, had showed up that morning with two delivery men in tow, she already knew her day was going to take a detestable turn.

Serena had dropped three boxes full of last year's reports in the office and sprinted out of the door before they could say anything and try to stop her.

Apparently she had hired a cheap accountant to save money and now she had to review everything before the Ministry noticed and demanded an audit. Or rather, Serena had asked her to do it.

She was now holed up in the backroom while Will had taken her place in the main office, since Serena didn’t pay her enough to care about customers and save her from bankruptcy at the same time.

She glanced at the clock, noting that it was almost time for her usual break. She chewed the inside of her cheek and returned to the reports.

She wasn’t in the right mindset to meet Tom.

The day she had gone to see him had been like the calm before the literal storm. In the past week it had rained so heavily that she had had to give up on going out and he hadn’t come to post his letters. What had happened between them had been left unresolved.

She had replayed it so many times in her mind, at night and during idle moments in the office, picturing different ways in which it could have ended, desperately wishing she could indulge in his warm lips again.

The first few days she had fretted about it, but as the week had gone by without a word from him, she had just started to accept it as the normal course of things. Perhaps it had just been an extraordinary event, a moment that wasn’t going to repeat itself and that she needed to find contentment in. Perhaps it was supposed to be one of those memories she was going to return to in twenty years, thinking about everything she could have had, or it will sour in her mind, turning into regret while her lamenting soul grieved the possibilities of youth, the chances she had been too scared to take.

It didn’t matter that she was conscious of the anxious butterflies leading her decisions, she still didn’t want to find out if what she saw in him was just a product of her infatuated imagination.

She immersed herself in numbers, refusing to go down that rabbit hole again.

Fifteen minutes after the end of her break, a customer walked in. A beat of silence followed and then Will said, “She’s in the back.”

She almost jumped out of her seat, her heart rate picking up. She quickly smoothed her hair and sat straighter, crossing her legs.

Tom appeared in the doorway, his arm half raised as if he had wanted to knock. She pretended she had just noticed him.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Hello, Tom.” She gave him a mellow smile.

He was so good-looking, with his perfectly styled curls and black coat in the muted light of the cloudy morning. Her heart fluttered painfully.

He looked hesitant as he made his way to her and handed her a folded magazine. It was the weekly crossword.

“Thank you,” she said, taking it as her gaze met his. The way he was looking at her was so compelling it was impossible for her to divert her eyes.

He had been thinking of her, she realised, he had noticed her absence, perhaps even missed her.

“I hope I’m not disrupting your work.” His gaze trailed to the numerous papers scattered on the table.

“Not at all, a distraction is more than welcome.” The distraction of his presence was most desirable.

He drew closer, reading through them as he casually rested his hand on the back of her chair.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Maths mostly,” she replied, fiddling with the parchments to hide her nervousness.

He reached out over her shoulder to grab a folder but she placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s still work.”

He dropped his arm. “You’re right, I apologise. I don’t wish to put you in an uncomfortable position.”

“It’s fine.”

He stepped to the side, tickling her neck.

“I’ll see you later?” he asked.

She had to stop herself from grinning.

“Of course.”

She watched him with desirous parted lips as he left. He said goodbye to Will and she heard the door closing. It was only a matter of minutes before Will came to pry.

She grabbed the crossword, flipping through the pages. He had bought her her favourite one.

As she got up to put it next to her bag, a small note fell to the ground. It was a plain piece of parchment. But as she picked it up, ready to throw it on the table with the rest of the documents, words started to appear.

Her breath caught in her throat. She knew to whom that elegant and neat handwriting belonged.

She read the note. Then read it again to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating.

“I hope to see you more often in the future.

You look stunning with that lip colour.

T.R.”

She brought her fingers to her mouth, staring at the words until each swirl of ink etched into her mind, terrified they might disappear.

Instead his message remained there, visible, tangible, real. He had taken time to write her a note, to think about something he knew she’d appreciate.

Something warm diffused in her chest, a new version of a familiar feeling, and a giggle escaped her as she realised the ridiculous effect he had on her.

She was so engrossed in her reverie that she didn’t notice Will standing in the door until he cleared his throat.

She quickly hid the message in her purse and he was so considerate not to comment on it.

“How is it going?” he asked.

“Awfully slowly, these numbers are all over the place,” she huffed, returning to her chair.

He dragged a chair and sat across from her. He started bouncing his knee. “I know you’d prefer not to talk about this, but how are things between you two?”

She stopped twirling her quill. “What do you mean?”

Will shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you but I’d hate to see you hurt.”

She tilted her head to the side, disliking the territory the conversation was heading towards.

He was struggling with his words. “He never- I never saw him interested in a girl. I just want to be sure you know what you can expect from him.”

She averted her eyes. “I have considered all the options.”

“And?”

“And I don’t know, Will!” she bursted out.

Her flare of annoyance suddenly deflated, making room for embarrassment for what he probably saw as naivety.

“I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself.”

“You are smart, I just can’t stand watching you smile at the things he writes to you.”

She feigned offence and threw a balled up paper at him.

“When you find someone, you’ll be just as ridiculous.”

He laughed and steepled his fingers in front of him. “I’m curious to know, when did it start?”

She scrunched her eyebrows, thinking about how much she wanted to reveal. “I don’t remember exactly. It was more like a sequence of events, until one day I was anxiously waiting for him to sit at his usual spot at breakfast,” she replied with a smile. Will was smiling too.

“You and half of Hogwarts,” he said.

She chuckled. “I miss those years sometimes. Everything was simpler.”

“I used to worry about everything,” he admitted. “But fears always seem so big.”

They really did.

“What do you like about him?” he asked after a beat of silence.

It was her turn to be at a loss of words. “He’s handsome…and always so mysterious. I think I always liked him because it was easy to imagine him being exactly what I wanted.” She looked at him hesitantly, fearing judgement, but he was just listening. “But I think it’s impossible for me to dislike the real him.”

They shared a small moment of closure. She had always wished for someone she could confide in, someone that could help her see beyond the fabrications of her wary heart, and perhaps she had finally found them.

The bell chimed and Will got up.

“Do you want to come for lunch on Sunday?” she asked.

“I’d love to. I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

His gaze shifted between the door and her. “Just make sure you both want the same thing.”

He went back, leaving her at the mercy of her insidious brain and foolish heart.

Throughout the afternoon she had opened the note at least three times, giggling like a schoolgirl everytime she read his words.

Her mind kept straying to what he had said.

“I’ll see you later.”

She wasn’t sure what he had actually meant. Was he just going to stop by or was he going to wait for the office to close? She wasn’t even sure she could see him today, since she expected to stay late to solve Serena’s mess.

Will popped in. “I have to check something at the owlery. I’ll be back in a while.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later.”

The door opened and closed and then she was submerged by stillness. It was soothing almost.

She had found out long ago that she enjoyed being alone, it freed her of any kind of expectation.

She turned up the heating with her wand and took off her jacket. Since they couldn’t light a fireplace in a room full of paper, they had refined a spell that kept the room warm and the humidity away.

It was a few minutes after the usual closing hour that the door opened again. She knew who it was.

He walked in, his cheeks slightly flushed from the cold and his lips reddened.

“Are you still working?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m afraid it’ll take a while before I’m free to go.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said, grabbing her crossword and a quill and sitting down on a chair, bending one leg so that his ankle rested on his other knee.

Her face heated as she watched him but she didn’t say anything.

As she returned to her work, she realised that silence was a strange assistant. It felt like every sound was heightened and she was becoming keenly aware of everything that was happening. The scratching of their quill on parchment, paper being flipped as she checked the numbers or he looked for a crossword he liked, his soft breath threatening to pull her close like a magnet, her absentmindedly chipping her nail polish.

She kept throwing glances in his direction and she could feel his eyes on her from time to time.

An unspoken craving was growing between them again. She had waited long enough.

She slowly got up, gathering her reports and stacking them in a neat pile. She then took them and walked over to the shelves, conveniently passing by Riddle in doing so.

As she stored them, his chair scraped on the ground and she felt him draw closer. She deliberately turned around, meeting his eyes.

His gaze was deep, like he was trying to read every thought that crossed her mind just by looking at her. She wasn’t going to lay them bare for him.

He raised his hand, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Did you get my message?”

“I did,” she replied, stepping forward and trailing her fingers down his suit jacket, feeling the fabric. “You keep mentioning it but this is the first time I’ve seen you all week.”

“It was storming all week,” he pointed out.

She tilted her head, finding his eyes again. His eagerness was palpable. “Still,” she said.

He grabbed her waist, pressing her body flush against his. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”

She had thought about that moment since then.

“Tell me what you desire the most.”

What could she tell him? That she had been pining for him for so long she couldn’t imagine herself with anyone else? That she was jealous of even thinking about him with someone else? Will’s words played in her mind.

She leaned closer, murmuring against his ear. “Not until I know why you’re here, Tom.”

She left a kiss on his jaw, phantom lips brushing against his flawless skin.

“It’s a really uncomplicated answer,” he said, caressing her back.

“Explain it to me, then.”

Tender amusement tugged at the corners of his lips. “Do you really think I came here because I don’t own an owl?”

His words pulled at her heartstrings with raw delight and her mind went blank. Adrenaline was rushing through her as she listened to her impulses. It was enough, at least for now it was enough.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and tangled her hand in his hair, involuntarily tugging at the strands as she leaned closer. She could feel his warm breath as he pulled her in, gripping the silky fabric of her blouse.

She met his lips halfway, the burning touch consuming her as he pressed her against the shelves, one hand lost in her hair, the other splayed around her ribcage.

She bit his lower lip, smiling as it elicited a groan from him and the kiss became more demanding.

It was a moment frozen in time, where she wanted to stay forever, like the scenery in a snowglobe.

“Hello?”

A man’s voice abruptly pulled them apart. She was breathless as she realised she had forgotten to lock the door. Was this a conspiracy?

Tom was slightly panting and she left a small kiss on his neck.

“Don’t leave,” she whispered.

She used a finger to fix her smudged lipstick and went to see who had just dared to interrupt them.

There was a man standing in the office.

“We’re closed,” she said.

“But I saw the light on.”

There was a twitch in her jaw. “We are closed to the public. I must ask you to come tomorrow morning.”

He rolled his eyes and she ignored his grumbling as he left, locking the door behind him. When she went back, Tom was leaning against the table.

He turned his head towards her as she languidly got closer. She forgot pleasantries, immediately grabbing his face to kiss him again. He was quick to react, wrapping his arms around her.

His mouth trailed down, kissing her cheek, her jaw and then pressing against her neck, soft lips and the occasional scrape of his teeth.

He grabbed her waist and spun her around, flattening her back against his chest and brushing her hair away from her neck to bite and lick her skin. His hands travelled down and he started gathering the fabric of her skirt.

Merlin, it was finally happening.

He caressed her inner thigh, tracing patterns and snapping the nylon of her stockings as his fingers moved excruciatingly slow.

Finally he pulled her underwear to the side, feeling the wetness between her folds with his fingers as his other hand cupped her breast.

She threw her head back against his shoulder as he stroked her clit, eliciting a sigh out of her, and she grabbed his thigh for support.

“I won’t drop you,” he murmured, amused, against her ear. He rubbed his palm over her clothed breast, the friction causing sparks to jolt through her body.

None of her fantasies came even close to what she was feeling right now.

“Should I trust you?” she asked, biting her lip to suppress a moan as he sunk one finger inside of her, his thumb still applying pressure on her clit.

“Such a great timing to ask me that,” he replied. She felt him smile on her skin.

“We don’t really know each other, Tom.” She dug her fingers into his flesh as he slipped in a second finger and started fingering her, stretching her as pleasure morphed her features.

“And yet you are letting me do this.” He squeezed her breast, lewd wet sounds filling the room as he kept moving his fingers inside of her.

She leaned her body weight completely on him, her legs unsteady as it was precarious the beating of her heart.

He let out a low moan as she yanked his hair to catch his mouth, biting his lip hard to gain better access, their tongues tangling together.

He curled his fingers inside of her, an unrelenting wave of pleasure washing over her.

She stopped to imagine what it would be like if he dropped to his knees again, if he started kissing and licking her, if she could watch him at her mercy between her legs.

She realised in that moment that the fall down the precipice was inevitable. Tom had threatened to push her but she had allowed him to succeed, jumping into an abyss that felt unending but that could only allow two conclusions to her story.

What she had told Will was true. She loved the fantasy, all the glances, conversations, gestures that had never happened, that she had delighted herself with when the reality was harsher, but as she kissed him she knew that falling for the real Tom was unavoidable. Not if he kept touching her like that.

It was bound to happen, it was part of her story, the decision she was brave enough to take.

She focused on him, on the circles his thumb was drawing on her clit, on the indecent sounds falling from her lips, on his groans on her reddened skin, on him growing harder against her back.

He pulled her hair back, tilting her head to meet her gaze. His eyes glimmered with rapture while hers were heavy-lidded, tension building inside of her.

He didn’t take his eyes off of her, as if he wanted to memorise each detail of her, the way she looked at him, the way her lips parted slightly and the way she panted as she was nearing her orgasm.

“Just like that, darling,” he murmured, a pleased smile on his lips as he noticed she was still blushing.

She threw her head back, losing herself in the motion of his fingers, surrendering herself as blissed moans spilled out shamelessly. She squeezed his soaked fingers, and he kept moving, stroking her throughout her climax.

She panted, coming down from her apex in a flurry of emotions and flustered thoughts. He raised his wet fingers to her lips and she opened her mouth, tasting herself on her tongue as she sucked on them, never breaking eye contact.

“Good girl,” he said, holding her jaw and kissing her.

It was a slow kiss, meant to explore her depths in a different way from the breathless and unrestrained passion from before. She leaned into his palm, her hand closing around his wrist.

His arms snaked around her waist and he turned them around, pushing under her thighs to lift her on the table.

The kiss transformed again.

Teeth and tongues met with vehemence, burning urgency guiding their movements as he brought her legs around his waist and she quickly started to unbutton her blouse.

But at the third button, she stopped.

Tom noticed the shift in her demeanour and drew back, observing her. Her eyes flew to the clock, as she had just remembered about Will.

She noticed with disappointment that they had no time.

“What is it?” he asked. She didn’t miss the urgent tone of his question.

“Will will be back any time now,” she replied, leaving a peck on his lips.

He cleared his throat and stepped back, composing himself. She got off the table and

cool hands unexpectedly reached her again, adjusting her clothes and stockings. She shivered at the contact.

He smoothed her skirt and put his coat back on, watching her as she scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to him.

“If you want to stop by one of these days.”

“I remember where you live,” he replied, reading the address she had written down.

She shrugged, holding out one finger to wipe away the lipstick at the corner of his mouth.

“Do you have to go back to work?”

“I was supposed to meet with a potential supplier, so yes.”

“I’d stop by the bathroom before,” she advised, gesturing for him to go as she herself needed to compose herself again.

She braced herself against the threshold, leaning her head on the hard wood as she watched him unlock the door and leave.

Then she was alone, finally finding an answer in the cluster of hypotheses that had tormented her mind.

Two days later, as she was returning from her meeting with Serena, she found Tom waiting for her.

He was talking to Will and they both turned to her as she entered, feeling tremendously self-conscious.

“How is Serena?” Will asked.

“Dim-witted as always,” she replied, earning a laugh from Will.

Her eyes trailed to Riddle, holding an unspoken question.

Will seemed to notice because he stepped forwards.

“It’s quite late, you can go if you want, I’ll close.”

Tom didn’t wait for him to repeat himself, pushing down the handle and holding the door open for her.

She mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him and followed Tom outside. Once in the street, she huddled herself in her coat and took the arm he was offering her.

“May I walk you home?” he asked.

“Of course,” she said, a little breathy, still not immune to the chivalrous manners he always had with her.

They strolled through the streets, passing by scarcer and scarcer people as the stores emptied and everyone returned home seeking a tranquil evening.

She held his arm tightly, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of his coat.

The first time they had walked together it had felt like an accident, a singular mistake in the already waved threads of her life. This time, she yearned for so much more than she wanted for the error to repeat itself; she was willing to cut the strings herself and tie them back together, as messy as it might have looked.

They crossed the road and he gently put a hand on her waist, pushing her away from the pavement.

“Would you fancy dinner?” he asked. There was a foreign quality in his voice and when she turned to look at him, he averted his eyes. She blinked bewildered. Was he nervous?

“I’d love to,” she replied and she noticed his chest rising like he had just begun breathing again. “But not tonight.”

An almost imperceptible smile cleared his expression at her answer and she leaned her head on his shoulder, basking in his mere presence.

When they reached her front door, she looked for her keys with embarrassingly clammy hands.

As she lifted her head to ask Tom if he wanted to stay, she found his eyes impatiently boring into her bag.

“Would you-”

His gaze snapped to her, serious and scorching. “Don’t even ask.”

Something coiled between her legs at the way he was looking at her. She nodded and walked up the few stairs to her door, unlocking it.

“Second floor,” she said, more to fill the silence than anything else.

They stepped into the building, the sound of her heels and the soles of his shoes hitting the stone ricocheting through the empty hall.

She turned to gesture to him to follow her when he grabbed her face, kissing her as he pushed her against the wall by the foot of the stairs. Her hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it just as she suspected he loved by the way he always pressed himself harder against her.

He curved his palm around her cheek, better angling her face as their tongues met.

“I have a nosy neighbour,” she said after they pulled apart to catch their breath. “She is probably spying on us through her peephole.”

Tom didn’t think twice about it, taking her hand and leading her up to the second floor. She stifled a laugh as she unlocked the door, Tom’s lips skimming against her neck as she did, and was left breathless when he closed it unceremoniously behind them, resuming from where they had been interrupted.

As she dropped her bag and grabbed his waist, walking backwards into her living room, she remembered there were clothes somewhere - perhaps in the bathroom but she wasn’t sure - that she had forgotten to put away yesterday.

In any case, Tom didn’t look particularly interested in how tidy she was.

They quickly took off each other's coats and discarded them on the floor.

He sat on her sofa, pulling her down with him.

She was straddling him, her knees digging into the plush cushions as his hands appreciatively caressed her back, moving up and down and occasionally squeezing. She lit the fireplace with a wave of her hand.

She rocked her hips, rubbing against him and eliciting a long awaited moan from him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, their lips collading so hard she was sure she cut him.

She helped him out of his jacket and vest and undid his tie, smoothing her hands on his white button-down.

“I’ve waited too long,” she said, quickly unbuttoning his shirt and grinding against him. Her hands disappeared under his undershirt and ran over his pale chest, lightly scratching his skin.

“Slowly, my dear. We will get there,” he replied between kisses.

His palms kept tracing her thighs and his face buried in her neck, nibbling at the thin skin.

When she was a small girl, before she discovered sex, Tom Riddle was just a boy she liked. During puberty, sharing stories and questions with her friends, she started to understand what was the sensation that passed through her everytime she was close to him, the one that made her cheeks redden and her mind go somewhere she wasn’t yet comfortable with.

As an adult, sexual relations weren’t unfamiliar to her, but this carnal longing, the need of a physicality that went beyond her skin touching his, was.

He opened her blouse, revealing her silk slip and bra underneath.

She wanted to touch his soul, to hold it and comprehend it.

Her eyes fell on the tattoo on his forearm, black tendrils of ink in the shape of a serpent slithering out of a skull.

“Does this have a meaning?” she asked.

He followed her gaze, blinking surprised at her question. “It does.”

“Am I prying too much if I say I’m curious to learn it?”

He bit his lip, opening and closing his fist as if he was scrambling for words. Or perhaps he was just determining if he could trust her.

“It’s a reinterpretation of the ouroboros, the snake eating its own tail,” he finally said. “It symbolises eternity and the renewal of the being after rebirth.”

She traced her fingers on his skin, following the outline of the snake. “And what does your interpretation mean?”

“There is time to talk about it later,” he whispered, his teeth biting her neck and sinking lower, kissing her collarbone and her sternum, moving the fabric covering her breasts to the side.

She let go of the subject. She knew what it meant not being comfortable sharing your life.

He held one breast between his fingers, latching his mouth over the other, sucking her nipple and twirling his tongue around it.

She moaned, rolling her hips faster as he revered her bosom, the cold air hitting her moist skin and making her shiver as he took her other nipple in his mouth, lightly tugging at it until she reached the point where pleasure and discomfort mixed.

“Since we are in the mood for confessions…” she said between moans. He raised his head and looked at her waiting for her to continue. She hesitated, collecting all her courage.

“Why did you pursue me?”

His eyes softened, glimmering with fondness. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

“Because there is something extremely valuable in your devotion.” His voice was an intimate murmur, a confession no one else could hear.

She freezed, turning her head to the side to hide her mortification.

He took her chin, searching for her eyes until she finally gave in.

“Don’t be embarrassed, darling, I respect it, I understand it. Obsession keeps us alive, it’s what drives us.”

She swallowed the lump of embarrassment in her throat. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Being the object of the desire of such a woman? Of a witch? I do,” he replied, and he was so direct and earnest that her heart swelled.

He lifted her to sit on the sofa, sliding down on his knees on the floor and taking off his shirt and vest. She remained silent as he rolled down her tights, his lips gliding down her smooth skin. He unbuttoned her skirt and helped her out of it, tracing patterns on her inner thigh as his other hand felt her damp underwear.

She tensed, something tightening in her lower abdomen and her eyes fell down to his trousers.

He kissed the crease of the thigh, like he had done that one time at Borgin and Burkes, but this time she wasn’t letting anyone interrupt them.

He took off her underwear, his movements deliberately slow, and kissed her everywhere, except there.

His lips felt hot on her skin, searing her flesh like she had often dreamed about, carving his way into her body the same way he had done with her mind and heart, until her entire soul was consumed by him, until he could finally close that fist and feel her in a way nobody had before.

Her breath hitched as he delicately kissed her mound, spreading her legs apart. She leaned her head against the backrest, licking her lips with anticipation, and she couldn’t contain a whimper as he felt his tongue dragging down her slit, sweet and cruel.

He took her clit in his mouth, sucking on it as his hand splayed on her abdomen to keep her still.

She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed.

“Look at me, darling,” he murmured against her folds. His breath was warm and pleasant.

She obliged, meeting his devilish grinning figure between her legs. She was incapable of looking away as he resumed his work, she didn’t want to look away. She wanted to watch him, finally allowing herself to fully indulge in him, in what he wished to do for her.

She observed his curved eyelashes, the way his perceptive eyes followed her reactions, refining his movements to please her better.

He sucked her labia and she moaned loudly, the idea of him enjoying this as much as her being exhilarating.

He threw her leg on his shoulder, resulting in her figure sliding down the cushions and him gaining better access to her.

His tongue probed her entrance as he coated his fingers in her wetness. He slipped one finger in, working her thoroughly as she gripped his hair, keeping his head in place.

He inserted a second finger, his tongue on her clit moving accordingly to the delighted sounds she emitted.

“Tom,” she cried urgently as she tried to press herself harder against him.

He curled his fingers inside of her and her hips jolted upwards, arching her back to an uncomfortable angle as she reached her orgasm with lascivious bliss, her obscene moans matching the wet sounds he produced by licking her until she came down from her climax.

“Tom,” she said again, so breathless her voice was a raspy whisper.

“I know,” he said, kissing her leg and inhaling deeply, like he was trying to commit the moment to memory.

He brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean as she let her watch.

She gently pushed him onto the carpet, bracing her hands on his shoulder as she sat on top of him. The fire was burning, enveloping their almost naked figures in warm orange light, heating their already scalding skin.

She took off her blouse with quivery hands, his gaze tracing her naked form that was slowly revealing itself. She hooked her fingers into the straps of her slip, pulling it down and then getting rid of it altogether. His hands on her waist tensed as she did the same for her bra.

Her lips parted as he touched her breast with both hands, kneading the soft flesh, tracing her areolae.

She undid his trousers, pulling down the fabric until they were both completely naked. She took him in her hand, her fingers closing tentatively around him. Her hand started sliding up and down, her pace getting quicker and more confident as moans escaped him. She brushed her thumb on his tip, her eyes admiring what was in front of her. His lips were swollen, residue of her lipstick still on them, his hair was tousled, curls falling disorderly on his forehead, his eyes heavy-lidded as he looked at her. She felt a rush of satisfaction in knowing his current state was her doing, that she had enough power over him to ruin his flawless exterior, to make him want her to do it.

His lips caught hers and he gently pushed her hand away.

What happened after felt like rehearsed choreography, something so familiar it was impossible to forget. Their bodies moved together, their movements responsive to each other, doing and touching exactly where it mattered.

She pushed herself up on her knees, slowly lowering herself until she sank down on him completely, shuddering breaths escaping her lips.

His jaw was tense as she placed a hand on his shoulder for support, positioning herself better.

She didn’t break eye contact as she rolled her hips, soaking in the hazy blue of his eyes, in every twitch of his jaw and emotion he was feeling as she increased her pace, in his voice murmuring her name against her ear as his hands squeezed her tights and traced her back.

Skin slapped against skin, his touch inebriating as he felt every part of her, caressing her, massaging her, kissing her until she couldn’t take it anymore. Almost.

His hand dipped between her legs again, stroking her clit as she rocked her hips, eliciting groans from both of them.

Sentiment and pleasure fused together in an exhilarating moment, seared in her mind and flesh forever.

She kissed him again - she could never get tired of that - and bit his lower lip roughly as his other hand went to her breast again, pulling at her nipple.

She threw her head back, letting his mouth scrape over her neck and chest, leaving behind scorching wet kisses. Or perhaps those were marks reddening her skin, she didn’t particularly care.

He gripped her waist, thrusting upwards as she held onto him tighter. Her nails drew half-moons into his back and she bit his neck, the fibres of the carpet scratching her knees.

The lights in the flat fluttered momentarily.

His fingers increased the pressure on her clit as his thrusts grew in intensity with one purpose in mind.

She bit her lip, trying to hold back, to prolong this instant of pure bliss before she inevitably plummeted onto the other side.

She arched her back, moving accordingly to his rhythm, her hips bucking erratic as she rubbed against his pelvis.

And then she fell down, unrestrained, her walls closing around him as she moaned uncontrollably. He didn’t stop, drawing circles on her sensitive skin until her breath found a semblance of steadiness again.

“You did so good,” he whispered against her forehead, brushing a strand of sweaty hair away.

She slumped against him, her hands grabbing onto his biceps as he chased his own pleasure, his movements turning frantic, losing his rhythm.

She found herself murmuring against his skin the same things she had never had the courage to say out loud, not even to herself. She wasn’t sure he was even listening to her, engrossed as he was, but it didn’t matter.

He squeezed her tights once and she understood, rolling to the side as he deftly touched himself, fast strokes that culminated in white spurts all over his hand. She watched him mesmerised

He turned to look at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly. The fire casted shadows on his gorgeous face.

They stayed like that for a long moment, gazing into each other, trying to guess what the other was thinking, making sense of what remained of themselves after what had just happened.

Did it have the same momentous effect on both of them? Or was it just her that knew she couldn’t go back to being acquaintances after this?

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked. Her voice sounded faint and husky to her own ears.

“I do,” he replied without a second of hesitation.

They didn’t get up, instead resting against the foot of her sofa. She curled up against him as his hand traced indistinct patterns on her skin, remaining in this haze of indiscernible unspoken feelings they were both still trying to find a name for.

When she woke up the next morning he was gone. As she took in the cold sheets and missing clothes, her heart threatened to crack.

She got up groggily, conclusions already forming in her mind, building the most pessimistic of pictures.

She felt anxious as she wore her robe and opened the door, heading straight for the bathroom. Halfway down the corridor, the sound of someone flipping through a newspaper halted her in her steps.

She stepped into the kitchen, finding Tom sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” she said back, adjusting the belt of her robe.

She noticed he had made breakfast, a steaming coffee pot, kept warm by magic, and some pastries she had never bought waiting for her on the table.

She turned to take a mug from a cabinet so that she could hide her smitten smile. When she closed the cabinet, she found him looking at her.

There was no need for words.

“Where did you get that?” she asked as she poured herself some coffee, referring to the newspaper.

“I stole it from your neighbour, I hope she won’t mind.”

She laughed. “So you know how to make a joke.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She sat next to him, crossing her legs. She perhaps needed to rethink her choice of slippers.

“You were always so serious growing up.”

She put a spoonful of sugar in her coffee.

“That never seemed to deter you.”

“It doesn’t.”

He took a sip of his own coffee. “Good.”

“Does it deter you, knowing how I feel?”

He blinked. “It never had. It makes it more interesting if I have to be honest.”

She blushed, scared to ask the next question.

“How long have you known?”

He got up, brushing his knuckles on her cheek.

“Long enough to see you for who you truly are.”

He bent to give her a chaste kiss. “I should go, the shop opens in half an hour.”

He put on his coat and grabbed his leather gloves from his pocket. She turned in her chair, treasuring the last few moments of him in her apartment.

“There’s still a lot you haven’t learned yet.”

She refused to be an open book to him. There was so much about her that was still incomprehensible even to her and too much she wanted to show him on her own terms. She wanted to be enigmatic, to drive him mad.

“I know.”

Her disappointment was visible on her face as she was met with his silence. She had wanted to continue that conversation, to learn what he had observed.

Instead he opened her front door, throwing her one last glance, heavy with unsaid intention she hoped she wasn’t imagining, before leaving.

She had almost finished her breakfast when she noticed a small note under the newspaper he had left behind. She grabbed it faster than she was willing to admit, almost knocking over her cup in the process, and unfolded it.

“Dinner tonight?

I’ll pick you up at eight.

T.R.”

the last part is a bonus scene i wanted to write to apologize for my tardiness. tom is a little different, but I hope he isn't too out of character.

i honestly had so much fun writing this short story and exploring a different tom from the one i usually read and write about. i hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!

#tom riddle x fmc #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle #tom riddle fic #tom riddle fanfic #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle smut #tom marvolo riddle #harry potter #hp fanfic #tom riddle x oc

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waywardxwords · 7 months

Text

I Always Have

Summary: Dean reluctantly agrees to visit a haunted house with you.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: Slight language, small mention of claustrophobia, fluff!

A/N: Day 3 of the #flufftober2023 (@flufftober) prompt challenge! The prompt is: "Wait, you love me?" - "I always have." Side note: if you are on my tag list, I am planning/attempting to post once a day during the month of October. I know that’s a lot of tags and mentions, so if you’d like to be removed you can do so through the Tag List linked in my bio.

Enjoy!

Haunted Houses weren’t really Dean’s thing…well, of course real haunted houses were. But this was different. This wasn’t haunted by real spirits or monsters; mostly just local high school and college students who needed extra money in the fall so they dressed up like ghosts and ghouls.

Dean had always hated the idea of actually visiting a haunted house. “You’re gonna pay money to go into an old building and have idiot kids try to scare you? Seriously? That’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s not just a haunted house, Deanie,” you had egged him on with the nickname he didn’t seem to appreciate. “It’s the pumpkins, and the apple cider, and that fun feeling of experiencing fall and Halloween as a kid.” He had just rolled his eyes. You loved getting under his skin, and as much as you would tell Sam you didn’t know why, you knew (and Sam knew, for that matter).

“Would you two just kiss already?” Sam had teased you from the kitchen of the bunker one night after you had poked and pushed on Dean so hard he had given up and retreated to his bedroom.

“Ew,” you had forced yourself to shudder at the thought. “Don’t make me puke.”

He laughed so hard he tossed his head back as he did it. “Yeah, okay. The tension between you two is about to make me puke, so do me a favor and just keep it outta the main living areas, got it?” He wasn’t able to dodge the sponge you had been washing dishes with as you tossed it right at his head.

So here you stood on this October night in the bunker looking at Dean blankly. You blinked twice.

“You comin’ or not?” He drawled with mock frustration as he pulled his army green jacket over his red and black buffalo plaid flannel. He grabbed the keys off of the counter top and looked at you expectantly.

“You’re taking me to the haunted house?” You still didn’t believe him.

“I was plannin’ on it, but you better hurry the hell up before I change my mind,” he grumbled but couldn’t hide the tug at the corner of his lips as you practically squealed and ran by him to get your jacket.

“Dude,” Sam eyed his brother as soon as you were out of ear shot.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Dean held up his hand and went to wait for you in the Impala.

“What made you change your mind?” You finally asked as Dean pulled the Impala into a parking spot in the dirt field. There were tons of other cars—this wasn’t just a haunted house, but a haunted trail as well and you could hardly hide your excitement.

“I was tired of hearin’ you bitch and moan,” he shot you a cheesy, over exaggerated smile with his eyes squinted. You rolled your eyes and flung the door open. “Hey, careful with my Baby!” He chirped, his face suddenly morphed into a small scowl.

“I’m not gonna hurt your precious car, Deanie,” you teased as you met him by the front of the Impala. Each step you took almost had a skip to it, and you couldn’t help yourself as you slipped your arm through his and linked it just at his elbow.

You weren’t sure if you imagined it, but you felt like his demeanor softened. The two of you walked like that as your boots crunched against the gravel and dirt. There were quite a few others there and a line had formed. The trail was dark but lit by yellow glowing lanterns strung from trees and solar path lights on the ground.

“Fifteen dollars per person,” there was a teenaged boy at the front of the line with a cash box. Dean’s scowl returned. “Cash only.” He added on at the end.

“Seriously? Fifteen bucks?” He looked at the kid who just pointed to the sign taped to the front of the table he was at. It read in printed font, ‘$15 per adult’. “Great,” Dean fumbled in his back pocket for his wallet.

“I got it, Dean. You brought me here and I know it’s not your thing,” you reached for your cross body bag to fish out the money.

“I got it,” Dean huffed as he retrieved a $20 and a $10 from his leather wallet. “Here.” He handed it to the kid. The kid nodded you both into the event. “What first? Trail or house?”

“Hmm,” you pondered, your excitement had returned. “Let’s do the trail first.” Your eyes wandered for a second and a squeal left your lips again before you could reign it back in as your gaze noticed a booth just ahead.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean mumbled, but there was a slight chuckle tucked behind it.

“Apple cider!” You practically pulled him towards the stand. There was no line, so you were under the lights of the vendor almost immediately. “Two apple ciders, please.” This time, you were sure to pull out your wallet first.

“That’ll be six dollars,” the woman returned with two cups of cider. You handed her the cash and handed a cup to Dean.

“Cheers!” You beamed as you clinked your paper cup against his. You noticed a small eye roll from him, but he obliged and took a sip.

He made a sour face. “Why do you love this stuff?” He rubbed his lips together to get the sweet sticky substance off.

“I think the real question is, how do you not love this kinda stuff,” you threw back at him as you looped your arm back through his and slowly walked towards the trail. “Halloween is so magical, Dean! It’s literally the best time of year. I think they’ve even polled people on that and determined it is actually the majority's favorite time of the year.”

“Yeah, well, they forgot to poll me on that one,” he grumbled. “We fight this stuff every day. Not this stuff, because it’s fake. But the real deal—the kinda stuff that could kill us. How are you not jaded by that?”

You took a moment before you answered. Your feet stopped moving, so Dean’s stopped too. He turned to look at you as your arm fell out of his.

“When I was a kid, my Dad loved Halloween. I swear, his whole mood changed when fall rolled around. He built a wooden casket and rigged it with fishing wire to open when our front door opened. We scared every kid that came to our house. And kids would literally come from all over to get spooked,” the memory brought a smile to your lips. “I didn’t even want to trick-or-treat half the time. I just wanted to be at home with my Dad scaring the local middle schoolers. My Dad could be difficult,” your smile fell for a moment as other memories tried to make their way through—memories that Dean was well versed in at this point in your friendship. “But when Halloween came around? Man, those were the best days.”

Dean was silent as his eyes watched your face. He saw the emotions ebb and flow as you spoke. He nodded once. “Okay, then,” he said simply. “Let’s go get spooked.” This time, he held his arm out for you to link yours through, causing you to smile.

The trail ended up being more hilarious than terrifying. But you and Dean had thoroughly enjoyed watching others jump and yell as they made their way through.

Next up, the haunted house. This was a little bit different than the trail, as the hallways were so tightly constructed, only one person could walk ahead at a time. You shuddered slightly as you waited, but it was enough for Dean to notice.

“Oh, come on,” he teased as he glanced over his shoulder at you. “You’re not scared, are you?”

Your face scrunched at him as you gave him a slight nudge. “Not scared,” you emphasized. “Just jumpy…” sounds of other haunted house goers ahead of you erupted from just inside the corridor–it made you excited all over again.

It was your turn to enter the main hallway next. They paused between groups to give everyone the full experience. Dean led the way with you closely behind. The house was even darker than outside, if possible, so it took your eyes a second or two to adjust.

There were fake cobwebs and a strobe light tucked away somewhere that sent flashes of light in the hall. Screams filled your ears, and you weren’t sure if they were from other patrons or if there was an audio playing in the background—probably the latter. Your eyes danced around in sensory overload as you tried to take it all in. As Dean rounded the first corner, you missed the memo that there were holes cut out in the wall, so when the first pair of hands reached out followed by someone growling behind the plywood, you couldn’t help the way your body jumped or the scream that followed.

Dean tossed his head back in laughter and turned briefly to look at you. Your heart beat pretty hard against your chest, but you still reached out to swat at him. He surprised you by catching your wrist with his large palm and carefully pulled your arms so they were around his middle. He held them there, and you realized he was giving you something to hold onto.

“Alright, Kat Harvey,” he referenced your favorite Casper-loving character from the classic ghost movie. “You’re alright.” The hum of his voice vibrated through the layers of clothing on his back. Even though you didn’t feel scared anymore, you couldn’t pull your arms away.

You inched behind Dean throughout the rest of the haunted house, laughter erupted from both of you as teenagers tried to scare you. It was refreshing to see Dean laugh—truly laugh—and it made you smile.

As you exited the house, he released your hands he had clutched against his middle and cleared his throat. “That was…”

“I know, I know,” you rolled your eyes as you shook off the empty feeling you felt without his touch. “It was lame, you can say it.”

He hesitated for a moment as he looked back to the house and then shrugged towards you. “Nah, I was gonna say it was actually kinda fun.” A smile tugged at his lips.

“Oh…” you grinned back. “Yeah, it was fun. Thanks for bringing me here, Dean.” You tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear and turned to head back to the parking lot.

“Where are you going?” He asked. When you turned back, you noticed he hadn’t moved from his spot.

“Uh…back to the car? That was all you had signed up for…heck, you kinda threw me a bone agreeing to do both the trail and the haunted house.”

“Nuh uh,” he shook his head. “I spent thirty bucks to get us in here. There’s a pumpkin carving booth over there. You said ‘pumpkins, apple cider and haunted houses’. We’re doin’ all three, dammit,” he said firmly but followed it up with a smile.

Your eyes beamed at at him and you bit your bottom lip gently before striding back over to him, “God, I love you.” Your breath caught in your throat after the last word and you froze. With widened eyes, you refused to meet his gaze.

There was a long pause that felt much longer than it probably was. But very quietly you heard his voice, “Wait, you love me?”

You paused again, but put on your big girl panties and turned to him slowly. “I always have.”

His eyes watched you closely for a moment, and then he moved to you so smoothly. His lips brushed against yours for a moment before he pulled away, but went in for another.

“I love you, too,” he murmured gently just as your lips parted. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach before he held his arm out for you once more. “Let’s go carve some pumpkins.” He smiled at you, and this time you knew it was different. It was a smile of contentment. Like everything he had needed, had come to fruition in that moment.

“Let’s,” you beamed back at him as you tucked your arm through his. He leaned towards you for one more kiss before you made your way to the pumpkin carving station. While you weren’t sure what this meant or how your life was about to change, it didn’t matter at that moment. You had pumpkins, apple cider, haunted houses and Dean Winchester at your fingertips. And with that, you couldn’t think of a more perfect autumn evening.

Thanks for reading!

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