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disturbedbeautywrites · 11 months

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League of His Own - Chapter 1

Rafe Cameron college baseball AU

Prologue

Anxiety and excitement; those were the two main feelings you had as you walked into orientation behind Liv. She was talking a million miles a minute, her hands and arms making wide gestures that you couldn’t keep up with even if you tried. “And I tried telling him how stupid that was… Wait, are you even listening?” Her voice was fading into the background noise of the room as you took a seat in the huge auditorium, your eyes scanning the seats around you. “Y/N! Earth to Y/N!” And now she was waving her hand in front of your face, eyes snapping to look at her as you apologized profusely.

She just chuckled and shook her head, patting your shoulder. “I know, it’s all super overwhelming at first. It’ll get better though, I promise.” She nodded and let you take in everything around you for a few minutes. The room was filled with freshmen and other transfer students, each carrying on their own conversations or living in their own individual worlds.

It was crazy to think that you were about to go into your junior year of college, and you were giving yourself a fresh start. But it was also a breath of fresh air. You needed some change after how things went at your old school. You had a crazy ex-boyfriend there, and a lot of drama you were glad to leave behind.

You were lost in your thoughts until Liv slapped your arm, claiming she was trying to be inconspicuous, but failing miserably. “Ready to see who Mr. Hotshot is?” Her nickname for the man she named earlier, Rae, rain? You couldn’t remember, but it was enough to make you laugh quietly to yourself. She either really hated the man or had the biggest crush on him, you couldn’t decide. She nodded down to the front of the room where three boys had just made their ways in, each of them wearing a NCU baseball shirt and matching sweatpants.

“So, that’s the trio of trouble around here. The one on the end there, in the blue shirt is Kelce. He plays third base Along with the entire population of girls here. He’s a total douchebag and I’m not convinced that he isn’t a steroid user.” She nodded and gave you time to listen to her before she continued on, her eyes now landing on the guy on the other end. “The guy there in the white shirt is Topper, why did his parents name him that? No one has any idea other than we’re all convinced they hated him. He plays centerfield, even though he doesn’t look very athletic. He has speed that comes out of nowhere. Very good with his glove and his hands.” She then moved her eyes to look at the guy in the middle and she looked back to you to get your reaction. “And finally, the guy in the middle. That there is Mr. Baseball captain himself, Rafe Cameron. Total heartthrob of the school and possible future MLB recruit. He is a pitcher and also filthy rich due to his daddy owning half of the real estate on the outer banks. Also has a matching jerk personality to match, but he’s definitely pretty to look at.” She finished her introductions to the boys as she watched you nod along, eyes trained on the one she named as Rafe.

She was right, he was pretty to look at. His hair was swept back in a neat fashion, a few strands hanging over his forehead. His eyes were steel blue and his smile was completely perfect. He looked like he stepped out of an Abercrombie catalogue and decided to pretend to be a college student for a photoshoot.

As they walked in, everyone seemed to take notice and they ate up the attention. They smirked and made sure to walk as slow as they could through the front of the room, loving how all the girls had their eyes trained on them. It was laughable, honestly. But, for some reason you were just like the other freshman girls oogling at them. “And there she goes. We’ve lost her.” Liv’s voice was the comedic relief you needed to snap out of your trance, your laughter leaving your lips easily as you looked over at her. “You did not, you’re just being dramatic.” You rolled your eyes at her before you settled back into your seat, playing on your phone to avoid eye contact with her.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t our favorite softball player. Have you thought about my offer yet, Liv? It still stands this year.” The voice came from the boy that she had pointed out earlier that was named Kelce, his body plopping down in the seat in front of you. He had turned his body to face the two of you, a smirk on his lips as Liv flipped him off and scoffed. “Still a lesbian, idiot. Nice try though.” He just chuckled and raised his hands in defense before Topper came and sat down right next to him, his eyes flashing to you. “Oh! Excuse us for being rude. I’m Topper and this is Kelce. Now who might you be?” His tone was outright flirty, and it made bile rise up in your stomach at the effort he was putting into it.

“I’m Y/N, I just transferred here and I’m one of Liv’s roommates.” As soon as you said the words, she threw her arm around your shoulder, grinning at them. “Yeah, this is our new superstar that you guys keep hearing about. She’s going to help us kick ass this season.” Her words made you blush and look away as you felt a pair of eyes on you, curiosity getting the best of you. You peaked up and saw the same blue eyes from earlier checking you out, a small smirk on his lips as he spoke to the teacher who was running the orientation. He shot you a wink before he moved to lean against a wall.

“Alright, everyone listen up! We’re going to get started!” You heard the teacher at the front of the classroom call out, your eyes moving from Rafe to him as you swallowed thickly and tried to focus. But, you couldn’t get his eyes and smirk out of your mind and you found yourself letting your eyes wander to him throughout the entire time you were supposed to be listening.

The orientation drug on, but once it was done and everyone got up to leave you felt Liv grab your arm to hold you back. You looked at her with confusion on your face before she held up a finger to tell you to hang-on as Topper motioned her towards him. He whispered something in her ear and he motioned at you before she nodded and smirked to herself. She started walking and took your wrist, pulling you along behind her as she started to walk out of the auditorium and towards your shared apartment. “Are you going to tell me what that was about?” You looked at her expectantly as she grinned, looking at you with wide eyes. “How do you feel about going to a party with the rest of the team tonight? It’s being held at Rafe’s house, and it's always the party of the year.” She gave you a puppy dog look before you laughed and nodded, feeling her hug you super tight. “Sweet! Let’s go get ready to get our party on!”

You didnt know what you were getting yourself into, but what could go wrong? It was only a party.

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skye-huntress · 4 months

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I’m in Love with the Villainess Reaction

Episode 12 / Finale

I feel like they could have skipped the OP and just showed the title like so many other shows.

Guess they don’t plan on leaving us in limbo, they skipped straight to Manaria’s confrontation.

Seriously, Manaria, you’re the one who was trying to drive Rae away and now you’re mad at her because you succeeded. Like I get what you were doing, but maybe opening this test of yours up with a magic duel of all things wasn’t your best approach. You beat her so badly and completely you crushed her spirit.

Her methods aside, at least we’re getting to the heart of the issue now. Rae’s love for Claire is not as selfless as she claims, how could it be? She wants Claire to love her back, to be in a relationship with her but she was afraid of being rejected.

In many ways, Manaria and Rae are similar, which is part of why Manaria knows she can’t leave Rae alone, lest she make the same mistake she did.

I hate to say it, but after everything that happened, this had to be the last card Manaria could play. Claire’s safety and wellbeing is still Rae’s priority. The only reason she could even imagine leaving Claire’s side is because she knows Manaria could protect her from any threat, even if that threat is Claire herself. But if Manaria is the one who becomes the threat…

“Again, I wasn’t consulted.” Look, Claire, you were free to step in at any time but you let this play out. You allowed your affection for Manaria to blind you, but everyone else from your minions to the Princes knew what was going on.

Sorry, Claire, you’re too late to stop this and Rae doesn’t have the time to idle about, not with what she’s looking for.

Ah, the tediousness of farming for that ultra rare drop.

Claire kept that necklace Rae gave her the entire time. In fact, she’s been wearing it everyday since. It’s proof that she wants to believe in Rae’s love, if only she wasn’t given so many reasons to doubt.

Woah, woah, woah, that vision of the future! They didn’t just include the two together, and their house, they also showed the twins! Don’t tease me like that, I want to see it all in anime form! If only the odds for a second season weren’t so low, this wouldn’t hurt so much!

Damn, Rae is going all in and all out. That line made more sense in my head.

Yes, Claire, tell us how you really feel! None of this will matter if you’re not even honest with yourself or with Rae.

All those damn expectations of being a noble lady. Let’s be frank, nobles don’t marry for love, marriage is a formal contract between families.

Predictable. This is yet another contest that is practically rigged in Manaria’s favour. There is no offering known to be heavier than the Flower of Flora, so the best you could hope for is a tie, and even that is a difficult feat, given how rare that flower is and how difficult it is to obtain.

Ugh, more poems. And it’s so obviously fake, too. You’re just reciting someone else’s words that don’t carry the same meaning or feeling as the original.

Cutting it a little close there, Rae.

Wow, Manaria actually looks happy to see Rae, meanwhile Claire is immediately concerned by the state she is in.

Manaria has a flower of legend, and Rae has what looks like a random stick. Not hard to imagine the reaction she’d get.

They have no faith in her. As if Rae hasn’t proven that she tends to know more than she could possibly know.

Well, Misha, you got your miracle.

Rod, don’t act like you didn’t have your own doubts not two seconds ago.

YES! THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT! THAT’S A REAL CONFESSION OF LOVE!

That 180 is just as jarring in anime form. It’s like this girl just forgot she’s been playing the role of the villainess for the past few weeks.

Look at Claire’s hand, like it’s still searching for Rae’s.

The most shocking part about this is Manaria is actually serious. In fact, at this point in the novel Rae suddenly remembers a little bit of trivia about Manaria from the game. It was possible that Manaria might confess feelings for the protagonist, not that it actually led to anything if she did.

This is even better than the novels and manga, Claire didn’t just yell her true feelings (and Rae’s name, finally), she actually grabbed Rae and put herself between them.

Oh, how we missed this banter. It’ll take a bit longer for Claire to get over that knee-jerk reaction but now we know she doesn’t actually mean it.

That crowd’s getting a full show today. The following year’s festival is going to be a snore fest in comparison.

Early credit again, I see.

Someone actually made an accurate prediction that the story of Poesie Amour was foreshadowing Rae and Manaria’s fates. Like the two suitors in the story, Rae would go on to marry Claire, while Manaria would go on to be a great queen. I can’t believe it never occurred to me before, not even on rereads when I knew the outcome.

No, no, Rae has a right to feel the way she does. Manaria spent most of the time being a menace to Rae, stomped all over her feelings and even threatened Claire. Even if it was all ultimately for her benefit, that doesn’t erase all the emotional damage or the scars.

Wow, Rae, you just figured it out. And yeah, there very likely was a better way to go about it, but Manaria has already admitted she’s kind of a shitty person.

After those confessions, everyone’s pretty much accepted that they’ll be getting together.

I’m surprised more people haven’t confronted Rae about the things she seems to know. I suppose everyone else is taking the wait and see approach, but since she’s leaving, Manaria had to ask now.

As has been hinted many times, a revolution is coming, and those don’t tend to end well for the people in power. Even if Claire doesn’t turn full Villainess, she’ll still likely be executed for no other reason than that she is a noble. That is the future Rae has been working to prevent.

Look at their classmates, they clearly have no idea how to react, yet all their friends have accepted that this is just the way they are, even as a couple.

And that’s a wrap. While I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a Season 2, I will recommend that novels and manga. The next few arcs are particularly interesting. Personally, I’m a big fan of Chapter 6: Yu’s Secret (FYI, this episode ended Chapter 4: The Scales of Love). That chapter is packed with all sorts of good and interesting stuff.

#i’m in love with the villainess #i'm in love with the villainess

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flowery-king · 2 years

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I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE MENACE

I had a day off from collage work and decided I'm in the mood to design the Jester boi we all love :>

[Here's the entire sketch page of me figuring out how I wanted him to look!]

1) Jevil is an entity of pure chaos, however he does not have the ability to affect the world around him (anymore). That won't stop him from breaking the laws of reality when it comes to his own body though. He shapeshifts quite frequently when he talks - often expressing himself by means of contorting his physical body in strange ways. Most of the royalty of the Suits Kingdom is used to this by now - however there are still those who become extremely disturbed by these actions - often leading to a monster fainting. Jevil loves toying with these individuals especially. Their reactions are just so funny - how can he not? He's smaller than most adult monsters (which is still somewhat tall human-wise) - but that doesn't matter since he can just stretch out his body to tower over individuals if he'd like to.

I changed his ears to horns to emphasize more on the devil part of his name - no real reason other than that haha

2) Jevil's wings are actually just an accessory - he doesn't really need them to fly or hover. He doesn't even know that other monsters with wings for functionality actually need to flap them to fly - he just thinks they're being funny. Sometimes he'll spread them open for dramatic flair or use them for emoting (like those rare times he gets startled) but mostly he just keeps them wrapped around himself as a makeshift cloak of sorts. He has bells attached to him almost EVERYWHERE - and yet you still don't hear him when he sneaks up on you. He's only heard when he wants to be heard.

3) Jevil is very much acquainted with Gaster - he is the monster that helped him escape the restraints he had over his powers after all, finally able to effect the word around him with his chaos magic as much as he did to himself - and yet he still insists on being an asshole. How rude.

4) Jevil is able to do whatever he wants to do now after being let out from his cell - and yet instead of shattering the concept of reality into liquorice flavoured pieces - he instead decides to tag along with a human child on their quest to help the Darkners form peace with the Lightners once more. He thinks it's a very amusing goal to have and would like to see how they would go about doing so (boredom will do that to anyone). Plus - the human child's got some chaos magic of their own radiating off of them somehow - so he's enjoying the vibe.

~~~~~~~

I've decided to name the AU the Rae-verse since Reagan is somewhat the main character I'm gonna be focusing on story wise :3

Feel free to ask any questions if you have any about the AU :D!

#Rae-verse #Deltarune #Deltarune AU #Jevil #Gaster #Fgarart #Whoops long post hopefully the cut works hhh #gonna go back and tag all of the things still relevant to this AU as Rae-verse :>#hope you enjoy my silly thoughts - I plan on making more of them cause I adore this funky lil AU I made #But it will have to be put after my collage work and comm work #but yall definitely know what I'll be doing in my spare time :)#edit: gaster is a nerd now

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soupcanspecimen · 4 months

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I wish I was better at conveying my thoughts more eloquently but here's my very late journal of my thoughts on ep12.

After some technical difficulties I finally watched ep12 and I've go to say:

I LOVED IT SO DAMN MUCH YOU GUYS!!!! THIS SEASON FINALE WAS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!!

That opening scene was so tense, you could literally cut the tension with a knife because of how thick it is.

Manaria was being a bitch again, I have a section on that so wait for that. The amulet was shown again but it wasn't used, I'm still crossing my fingers though because they keep focusing on that thing way too much! The scales were used in this episode however and DEAR GOD the that Ceremony had me at the edge of my seat clenchining my ass! I was legit going to die when Rae pulled out that twig!

I went from saying" never let this girl cook again" to laughing with joy when the tree sprouted up! Also can we talk about the tree for a minute? Imagine my fucking shock and hysterical breamdowm as a Lumity fan when I saw that tree for the first time! It was a tree that represented their love! You know what tree also basically does the same thing?

THE FUCKING LUMITREE!!!! THEY HAVE THEIR OWN FUCKING LUMITREE!!?!? WHEN I THOUGHT RAECLAIR DIDNT HAVE ANYMORE SIMILARITIES TO LUMITY IT KEEPS PROVING ME WRONG!!!! THESE TWO SHIPS SHARE SO MUCH DNA WITH EACHOTHER ITS UNREAL!!!! AM I LIKE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS!?!?

Ahem anyways.

Rae's confession was so raw and emotional to where you can feel the love flowing out of her words and you can see this is different from her other confessions cause she saying what she's wanted to say since the start and without hiding behind a mask this time. And when Clair admitted her feelings by pulling Rae away to protect her it was super sweet and shows that she's truly grown close to Rae. She even starts calling Rae by her name near the end of the episode instead of calling her "Commoner".

Clair was also great this episode, and she actually took my advice from my episode 11 rent post and reflected on her time with Rae. Her Freudian slips and gay panic because she's finally starting to fall for Rae were super cute and gave me a lot of "Ayo pause, run that back" moments!

And also

CLAIRMATO!!!!!

Speaking of Clair starting to fall for Rae

THEY DID IT, Y'ALL THEY'RE FINALLY TOGETHER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO THE BOTH OF YOU!!!!

God I love these two so much guys! And I would love to bestow this ship with the highest honor I can give. I've recently mace a rule to myself when it comes to ships to not use this quote lightly for it is only reserved for ships that have truly earned my respect. Ahem (*Deep Inhale)

THEYRE ADORABLE AND DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS!!!!

I never thought that I would ever find a ship that would ever hit the same way as Lumity did! Even if they were cut from the same cloth!

GIVE ME A SEASON 2

NOW 🌩👄🌩

The Manaria Section:

I still hate Manaria my reasoning has just changed. Like, bruh, there is actually something wrong with you! Was any of what you said real!? Did you actually violate someone or was that story also just part of your plan!? Did you have like a back up or something if either you or Rae failed!? I legit can't read you, you're actually insane! You really are the single worst wingwoman I've ever seen, cause there were a million other ways to go about it, yet you somehow picked the wrong answer. You even ruined the confession, I mean who does that?!? I am for real about to throw hands! To be honest it would make sense if you were lying since you're a technically a politician after all, that's like your guy's whole thing.

Bitch don't come back.

I think most of my recorded reaction was just me cursing at her and wanting her to die, I need to get better at insults after looking back at the recording

#i'm in love with the villainess #im genuinely so sorry to the togachako fans #iltv #I had to do this twice by the way because it didn't post properly the first time

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thisaintascenereviews · 9 months

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Various Artists – Barbie: The Album

Mentioning the phrase “pop music” seems to illicit a lot of reactions, usually within the realms of “I love it” and “I hate it.” Most people either seem to love pop music, or at the very least, certain artists within it, or they loathe it. I wanted to preface this review with my own rather complicated history with pop, because pop music is a genre that I have a rather strange “relationship” with. I got into music during the early to mid-00s, when pop music was in an interesting place, thanks to house / dubstep music being huge, and a lot of well-established artists now were just getting started, such as Lady Gaga, Kesha, The Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, Bruno Mars, and many more, but pop music was starting to become boring and bland. I was also much more into emo, pop-punk, and metalcore, although I would come to realize years later, a lot of the pop-punk that I listened to was merely pop-rock with an emo lens through it. Thirteen-year-old me thought I was the bee’s knees for listening to that edgier and darker kind of music (I did like some “classic rock” at the time, too), and I thought that was “real music,” as every preteen and teenager tends to think during adolescence. I just didn’t find anything to like when it came to “mainstream” music, but that all changed in the winter of 2012.

I remember it like yesterday, because it was one of those things you won’t forget. I was in FYE, and I had just discovered the magic of that store, but I was looking around for whatever I could find. I was always looking for anything at all, and I could spend hours in music stores, but I ended up finding a copy of Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Say what you will about Jackson as a person, as well as his legacy, but Thriller is one of the best albums ever made. Without going detail into it, it’s a record that I knew about without even knowing anything about pop music. It’s one of those albums that I knew I needed to hear, so I picked it up for a good price (they always had stuff on sale, too, and that really helped my decision picking it up), and I ended up falling head over heels for it. What was interesting, however, is that, despite being released in the 1980s, it changed my perception of what pop music is, let alone what it can be. Ever since then, I became a fan of pop music, and for years after, I enjoyed plenty of pop records, such as albums from Justin Timberlake, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Harry Styles’ solo material, just to name a few artists, but listening to that record opened up a whole new world for me.

Pop music, at its core, is escapism. Whether it’s from their own lives, or wanting to live through their favorite pop singers, they want to escape. The same can be said for all kinds of music, but pop music has always been “popular” for a reason. When people think of pop music, they think of catchy, accessible, and “safe” music that doesn’t push boundaries or offend anyone. When I listened to Thriller, that misconception was completely shattered. That was when I took pop music seriously, and every now and again, you can find a great pop record, but a lot of pop music is still relatively safe, tame, and bland. Not that it’s bad, but it doesn’t push any boundaries, although that’s not the point, since it’s to sell records and make money.

I’ve found myself not as interested in pop music over the years, thanks to own tastes shifting, and pop music as a whole changing. It just hasn’t appealed to me, minus a few artists, but every once in awhile, I’ll find something I like and that “something” right now is the Barbie movie soundtrack. This film, released just a few weeks ago, is the latest topic in the pop culture zeitgeist, alongside Oppenheimer, and alongside the film, a soundtrack was released that caught my curiosity by featuring some of the most popular names in pop, such as Lizzo, Khalid, the Kid Laroi, Dua Lipa, Karol G, and Billie Eilish, although one of the big songs from this record is the remix / interpolation of “Barbie Girl” by Aqua that features Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice. That’s a very stacked list of artists, let alone the whole record being produced by Mark Ronson of “Uptown Funk” fame.

Despite not listening to a lot of pop music anymore, I was curious to see how this soundtrack would pan out, especially not having seen the film yet. You can talk about this album in two ways, the first being how it holds up on its own as a soundtrack, and the second as a soundtrack after seeing the film, but because I haven’t seen the movie yet, I thought I’d first talk about it on its own, and then talk about it again once I see the movie, or write a small companion piece to along with this. Soundtracks typically are companion pieces to the movie or show they accompany, and there is often an expectation that they need to be as good, if not better, than the work they’re apart of. I won’t comment on the film, as I haven’t seen it yet, but I will say that the soundtrack works quite well on its own. The soundtrack doesn’t say anything or do anything that pushes any kind of boundary, and it does what you’d expect a Barbie soundtrack to do, which is give you an album’s worth of catchy, fun, and summery jams, and that’s okay! I’ve talked about many times how not everything needs to be deep, and this is a perfect example of that.

The Barbie soundtrack is fun, lighthearted, catchy, and enjoyable from beginning to end. A lot of the songs are quite good, if not great, and it feels like a cohesive soundtrack, instead feeling like a random soundtrack, instead feeling like a random assortment of artists. I’m curious as to how these songs work in the film, but a lot of solid tracks are here, such as “Pink” by Lizzo, “Speed Drive” by Charlie XCX, “Silver Platter” by Khalid, or the “Barbie Girl” remix I mentioned earlier. It won’t blow your mind, or ultimately change the way you think about pop music, but it’s a fun ride through the world of Barbie. There are a few standouts, such as Billie Eilish’s “What Were We Made For,” which I guarantee is going to do some numbers in the coming weeks, but there are also a few songs that don’t add anything or do anything, such as the Tame Impala song “Journey To The Real World,” which seems to have a better purpose in the movie, but it’s only a minute long, so it doesn’t really do anything or go anywhere. Haim has a song, too, entitled “Home,” and it’s a good song, but it’s nothing really that special. I enjoy listening to it, but I wouldn’t pretend it’s one of my favorites. If anything at all, listen to the soundtrack and pick out your favorites, but I don’t think anything on here is worth outright skipping, although Gayle (who’s famous for “abcdefu” from a couple of years ago) does have a weird song that interpolates “Butterfly” by Crazy Town. It’s kind of fun, but also very weird and makes no sense, especially for the Barbie movie, so I don’t know how that song fits into the overall narrative, but it’s a decent song, nonetheless.

I’m interested to see how the songs from the soundtrack fit into the film, so when I go back and listen to the soundtrack after seeing it, I can picture the songs in my head. I’m very excited to see how “I’m Just Ken” by Ryan Gosling, who plays Ken in the movie, fits into the film, because that’s one of the funniest songs here. Nonetheless, this is a soundtrack that works for what it is – a catchy and fun good time. You don’t need anything more sometimes, since not everything needs to be deep, challenging, or have an underlying message to it. Sometimes a song or album can be fun, and you can enjoy it merely on a surface level. Sometimes enjoying things at face value is all you need. Pop music is at an interesting place right now because there’s nothing happening within the genre. I mean, the top three songs in the country as of this moment are country songs, so there’s no trend or overall idea that’s getting traction, unless you look at the trends of artists interpolating songs (the “Barbie Girl” remix is a perfect example of that), or the influence of nostalgia, but pop music is at a crossroads right now, so it’ll be interesting to see how this soundtrack charts and the impact that is has, especially since the film itself is doing very well at the moment. If you’re a fan of pop music, it’s worth hearing, because it has some catchy and fun summer jams on it, even if it won’t necessarily change your life.

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beezusvreeland · 5 months

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a very good idea - chapter 9

summary: After your boyfriend cheats on you at a party, you break up with him, who tells you nobody else is willing to be with you like him. You decide to prove him wrong, with a little help from a new friend.

ship: miguel o'hara x f!reader

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Chapter 9

“Hey!”

With the corner of your eyes, you saw Miles running in your direction. You felt both relieved and upset that it wasn’t Miguel.

“Are you going already?”, he reached you and touched your arm.

You turn to him, face full of tears.

“Hey, hey, what happened? Are you hurt? Do you want me to get someone?”, Miles sounded desperate.

You shook your head, pursing your lips. His arms embraced you into a hug, his chin on top of your head. You started crying on his chest. Miles tightened his grip.

“It’s ok, it’s ok…you’re gonna be ok”, he whispered. After a while, your sobs slowed down. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“J-J-Jenna is coming to get me.”

“Jenna? That’s your sister, right?”

You nodded, breathing deeply.

“Okay, good”, he loosened the hug, looking down at you. “I will wait here with you.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I have nowhere else to be.”

“You should be inside dancing with Gwen.”

“I’m alright…”, Miles stops abruptly, separating from you. “Wait, what?!”

“Oh, fuck”, you covered your mouth, realizing what you had just said.

“Why do you think I should be dancing with Gwen?”

“Sorry, forget about it, I have no idea…”

“Oh, no, you sounded pretty sure. Why did you say that?”, he pleaded, looking nervous and hopeful. Even though you were new friends, you felt so much love for him at that moment.

“You really like her, huh?”

Miles looked at his sneakers, kicking a small rock. He then looked back at you and nodded.

“Yeah...I do. Like, a lot.”

“Well, for the love of God, don’t tell her I told you”, you pointed at him, whose eyes widened. “She likes you too.”

“Are you for real???”, Miles has his hands on his head. “Yo!”, he starts laughing, shaking his head. That brought a smile to your face. To learn you are your crush’s crush, what a concept. “What is even happening? What should I do?”

The beats from “Making the most of the night”, by Carly Rae Jepsen, made you look back at the house where the party was happening. You felt like you could see things much clearer now.

You regret spending so much time hiding yourself for the comfort of others. You had done your best back then and there was nothing you could do about the past. But the present and the future were other ordeals. You were sad about fighting with Miguel and disappointed at his lack of reaction or sympathy for you. However, speaking your truth out loud felt liberating. It was as if a part of yourself you had no idea about had just woken up.

“Tell her how you feel or show her, I don’t know, just don’t waste anymore time.”

He nods and puts his hands on your shoulders. “Thank you, I…thank you”, Miles looks at you and, before you know it, he is hugging you again.

“You got this”, you let go and give him an encouraging smile.

Jenna’s black beaten up minivan arrives at the street.

“Let me know how it goes”, you said.

“Yeah yeah”, he chuckled.

You went to the car and, as you opened the door, Miles shouted: “Yo, Jenna! Drive home safely, precious cargo and all!”.

Jenna laughed, rolling her window down.

“I will do my best!”

Pressing the car horn three times, she drove away.

***

It was past midnight as you and Jenna sat inside the car, eating hamburgers and fries at a McDonald’s parking lot. Focused on the food, you only spoke to ask each other for ketchup or napkins, “A Little Bit in Love”, by Sarah Close, playing on the radio, the type of sad and mellow song the stations loved to play late at night.

Jenna turned the volume down as she finished her chocolate shake. It took a while for you to realize she wasn’t driving home after the party. When you questioned, your sister said she was craving McDonald’s and wanted to enjoy the little time she had to herself while her kid and husband were asleep at home.

“Feeling better?”, she asked, grabbing an elastic from her pocket and putting her hair up in a bun.

You nodded.

“Good”, Jenna turned to her side to get a better look at you. “Now tell me, who’s the boy?”

“What?”, you snapped out of the thoughts that were trapping you inside your own head.

“So there is a boy, okay…”, she chuckled. “Who is he?”

“Jen…”, you groaned.

“Come on, Bubbles, it’s me. I bet you’ve been beating yourself about whatever this is for a while in silence.”

She was right and you knew it. You were also well aware that she wouldn’t let you escape from this conversation. Even though you were different from each other, your sister had always been extremely protective of you. Now that you were closer to adulthood than childhood, the two of you grew closer, being able to talk eye to eye.

“I hope it isn’t Harry again, I taught you better than to go back to shitty exes”, she played, but had an edge to her voice.

“It isn’t Harry”, you were defeated, exhausted from the getting ready, going out, embracing the possibility of new love just to burst into pain and tears. After eating a greasy meal wearing Jenna’s spare and comfortable sweatshirt, your body started to relax. It was like all that was left inside your brain was static.

“Harry said some things when we broke up that triggered my insecurities”, you went on. “Stuff like…I’m never going to find someone who will accept me.”

Jenna rolled her eyes.

“Who does he think he is?”

You shrugged, shaking your head lightly.

“That kind of triggered me, so I made a deal with this kid who needed to increase his grades. Basically, I will help him and he will pretend to be my boyfriend for a while.”

“And this boy…just accepted that?”

“Yeah, almost immediately.”

Your sister frowned, you could imagine all the cogwheels turning as she tried to process that information.

“Why would you do that, Bubbles?”, Jenna didn’t even try to hide the sadness in her voice.

“I thought that if Harry saw me with someone…out of my league, he would feel bad, jealous, I don’t even know anymore”, you lean your head on the window. “Maybe I’d come out on top and prove him wrong and feel better about it.”

What were you even saying? You thought you sounded stupid and insane. There was so much more to unpack than you had imagined.

You look back at your sister, who quietly waits, letting you take your time. Instead of keeping that rhythm, you went into full panic mode.

“I guess I acted in the heat of the moment and kept going and now I think I’m feeling…things for Miguel, and I let myself believe that he was too, but I guess stupid Harry was right…”

“No no no, pause!”, Jenna tugged your ear gently, as she used to when you were little and, instead of paying attention to her or the task at hand, you would get lost in your own world. As always, it worked. “Let’s take a breath”, she had a concerned expression on her face.

“First of all, Harry is a dipshit playboy who never deserved you. Second, did you ever consider that the things he said to you say more about him than you?”, Jenna had listened enough, she was going to give you a piece of her mind and there was no stopping it. “Can you imagine living in that creepy empty mansion with Norman Osbourne of all people? Jesus, what a nightmare. Get out of your own head for a bit, Bubbles”, Jenna said, making you look at her. “Harry might’ve been your boyfriend for a long time, but you were his too. I bet he never had a serious girlfriend before.”

She was right. When you thought about it, Harry did have a few girlfriends before you, but no actual relationship that lasted more than a few weeks at a time.

“And yes, your whole deal with this Miguel kid is kind of weird and unlike you, but he accepted it. Apparently, enough for you to even come to a party. An actual high school party”, she emphasized, a smile on her lips. “I know there is a lot going on right now, but it makes me so happy to see you going through actual high school experiences.”

And…the tears were back. They reached Jenna’s eyes too.

“After everything you went through, you are still here, healthy, looking pretty wearing what I know to be the pair of earrings I let you borrow months ago”, the two of you laughed. “With music and friends who you will help dress and who will miss a chunk of the party to make sure you’re going home safely. You’ve come a long way.”

“I didn’t think I had anymore liquid in my body for tears”, you chuckle, whipping them with the sleeve of Jenna’s sweatshirt.

The two of you stay in silence for a few moments recovering.

“This Miguel kid…is he nice to you?”

“Yeah”, you said, almost to yourself. “There is something about him…It’s like I’m a different version of myself around him.”

“A version too different of who you are?”

“If anything, when I’m with him is when I feel like myself the most.”

***

You woke up the next day feeling disoriented. Looking at your phone, you realize you slept for more than 12 hours. A lot of notifications come through: from spam emails to texts from Jess, Gwen, Miles and

Miguel: can we talk?

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a very good idea playlist

#a very good idea #oscar isaac fic #miguel o'hara fanfic #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #fake relationship #friends to lovers #unrequited crush #Spotify

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practically-an-x-man · 1 month

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What would your OCs think of Pyrrha? Either when she's more volatile after first defecting from the First Order, or after she's had more time to adapt to the real world and has started training as a medic?

Ooooh, good one! Pyrrha's a fun character! I mean, all of yours are fun, but... Pyrrha's definitely one of the more unique, and I love her. Let's see...

Rae: Is really no stranger to volatile people, so she'd be able to hold her own and might even be one of the first to start to push Pyrrha out of some of her old Order habits. And if they met once she'd adapted a little more, I think they'd get along well. Rae would be curious about her cybernetics, she'd probably be curious about Rae's mutation, it would be a mutual appreciation.

Robin: Honestly... I'm not sure. Robin's generally pretty easy to get along with (she's an empathetic person, and she's good at communicating with people since she's a performer), but Pyrrha's also a bit of a tough case. Robin would be friendly at first, and would definitely be accommodating towards Pyrrha's cybernetics/movement issues since she has disabilities of her own, but whether or not they'd actually become friends is more up to Pyrrha's reaction.

Madison: She's volatile herself, in her own way. She's not going to duck away from Pyrrha even if they met back when she first defected from the Order. She probably doesn't trust Pyrrha immediately, especially if she's seeking shelter at the X-Mansion (not out of anything personal, Madison's just really defensive of her home), but would end up being the first to stick up for her once they got to know each other a little better.

Ophelia: Takes one look at her, struggling to move with cybernetics that barely work, and basically goes, "Oh, honey, we need to fix this.". She gets Pyrrha into her lab- then notices how anxious she is to be back in a lab, and sets her up with snacks and blankets and a movie (and, most likely, Amadeus curled up on her lap) in an attempt to make her more comfortable. Then she gets to work, fixing up Pyrrha's cybernetics as well as she can.

Gia: Pyrrha's cybernetics are obviously a lot more advanced than Gia's modern-but-simple leg prosthetic, but she does offer a few tips she's learned for the scarring and friction points and things like that. Gia had access to actual medical care once she got out of HYDRA. Pyrrha... did not.

Jasper: Is more than a little intrigued at the sight of such advanced cybernetics, but the nursing side of their brain of course takes over before they even bother to ask questions. They offer Pyrrha some of the balm they use on Kyle's scars, to help ease the itching and irritation, and when they learn she's interested in medicine they offer to give her a bit of a crash course.

Kestrel: Is incredibly curious about her - they're a curious person by nature, effectively being a wildlife researcher for magical creatures, and both Pyrrha's cybernetics and her being an alien species intrigues them. They do also offer her a sandwich and a mild healing salve for the scars where her cybernetics meet her skin, but they're mostly focused on sketching her cybernetic limbs for their field notes.

Katherine: Is also initially curious, as she would be with encountering any alien or cyborg (curious but not necessarily afraid, since she's seen more than her share of strange things). Outwardly she's the perfect Southern hostess, offering Pyrrha tea and snacks and the TV remote, but once she leaves Katherine spends multiple hours poring the internet for research on space travel and bionic limbs.

Quinn: I think I've mentioned this a time or two, but her initial reaction is jealousy. She doesn't realize at first how much pain and difficulty Pyrrha has with her cybernetics, she just sees hyper-techy bionic limbs that give Pyrrha all the movement Quinn herself misses. As I've said before, that's a biased conclusion, and if they actually spoke a little more they'd realize how similar their situations really are, but... the ask said first impression.

Eris: Initially assumes Pyrrha's come to kill them - especially if they met back when she's still volatile, but even in her calmer times her appearance screams "living weapon". They'd probably start up a fight, but call it off when they see how much difficulty Pyrrha's having just moving around, and how utterly terrified she seems. Clearly she's not a weapon, because anyone who'd try to send an assassin after Eris would know to... well, pick a better assassin, for one.

Nikoletta: Actually completely understands having your bodily autonomy taken away from you by force, with everything she went through at the hands of STAR Labs, so it's honestly a rare glimpse of public emotion for Nik. And even rarer, she offers Pyrrha a hug - maybe because she genuinely feels like Pyrrha needs it, or maybe just because she sees herself in that situation and knows how badly she wanted someone to hold her back then, but it's a hug regardless.

#my friends!!!#answered asks #my ocs #ophelia octavius #jasper wilson #madison douglas #oc kestrel #oc quinn/aces #rae mckinney #gia pantazis #robin cassidy #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux #oc katherine johnson

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we-survive-endlessly · 2 months

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Not me absolutely sobbing over Donghun and Sunyoul’s performance of End of a day by Jonghyun

#they sang it with so much emotion and that song already destroys me #donghun shot to one of my top people like the first episode tbh #just hearing him talk about his dreams #I really need to get more into a.c.e #a.c.e #donghun #a.c.e donghun #up10tion #sunyoul #up10tion sunyoul #mnet build up #build up #Rae’s real time reactions

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peppertaemint · 2 months

Note

I've noticed you are into Korean entertainment shows as well. I'm watching some stuff as well, although not regularly and I'm not well versed in it. I was wondering if you could talk a bit about what does it attract you about that type of entertainment as well and how it's different/similar to some counterparts from other industries?

Hi Anon,

I'm by no means an expert, but I so like watching different Korean variety and reality shows. I Live Alone is an all-time favorite of mine, and I'm really enjoying Crime Scene Returns right now.

What I like about ILA is how it showcases lifestyles of people who live alone and celebrates those lifestyles while at the same time poking fun at some of the things you have to deal with when you're on your own. There was an episode where this woman was trying to move a TV on her own and nearly knocked it over and smashed it, lol. People would say you shouldn't do things like that on your own, but the truth is, you have to when you're really on your own.

I loved the episode where Key prepared a bunch of food for Na Rae when she was recovering from surgery. It was so much and he had to get it up to her place and then get it all ready for her because she really couldn't get around. It showcases "found family" quite well. That episode also showed how Na Rae was coping with her recovery on her own, too. Some of us have to go through tough stuff alone. I like knowing that other people are going through the hard stuff too.

Crime Scene Returns is like a game of Clue in real life, and it's so insane and entertaining. If you like a good murder mystery, it's definitely one to check out. The plot points are really surprising and keep you interested. There isn't that feeling of "I've seen it a hundred times before". Each episode so far is just wild and surprising.

If you're a SHINee Key fan, watching him act in the different roles will have you laughing. There was a bit where this woman character his didn't like was trying to hit on him and his reaction/how he played it was funny to me.

#shinee key #korean variety #korean reality tv #korean tv #ask

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penncilkid · 4 months

Text

Was in a particularly musical mood the other night and had Noderum Records on my mind. I started musing over what I'd consider each speaker's "signature" song, so I present those thoughts!

Signature Song of Noderum Records Speakers

[Kordelia]

This song is especially fitting for some of her earlier audios, but I've always loved this song for Kordelia. She hides a lot of her emotions, usually for the sake of not drawing attention to herself. She doesn't enjoy the thought of masking it as anything else, even if it feels like people will leave her for being authentic.

[Dominique]

Not gonna lie, a lot of Dominique's playlist has this vibe of music, and I think that's incredibly fitting for them. This song encompasses that complex space their relationship with Sweetness exists in. Clear chemistry but blurred lines/boundaries.

[Romeo]

For those who have heard his confession audio, this song is fully in reference to that. That plus the general proximity to sun imagery makes this the perfect song for someone like Romeo.

[Solstice]

Fun fact: Came very close to choosing Dynasties and Dystopias from Arcane. But I think this better represents Sol's internal desires and motivations as a cupid. She is a being who sees love in everything and enjoys being able to witness it, even if she hasn't had much experience herself.

[Eritus]

This song went into Eri's playlist the first day I ever heard it. Y'all don't know all the ins and outs of Eri's backstory just yet, but let me tell you: This song right here? Embodies everything I adore and associate with him /pos

[Nova]

I can't even articulate the reaction I have whenever I hear this song. It always comes back to Nova. For reasons that I cannot full share. Just know it is angsty and it hurts and it's what I associate with Nova more than anything. /lh

[Jessalyn]

To anyone who knows this song: Of course it would be Jessalyn's signature song. Everything she does screams this song. Like let's be so real here— It's also no coincidence that she has Price of Perfection in her playlist as well.

[Emerson]

Settling on a song for Emerson was tough, but I think this one comes to mind first when I think about them. I associate them with academia a lot and the overall vibes of this song feels reflective of them.

[Valora]

This song was one of the first I added to Val's playlist, and the line of thinking was "This is a vibe and also definitely fits her specific style of anxiety at times". It fits even more given the recent developments with her as a Crown, and I can't help but think it's her signature song. (Denim Jacket by Sammy Rae & The Friends was a close runner-up though)

[Harley]

What better song than something that sums up the playful intimacy that Harley and Gorgeous share? Tell me this isn't their song. I'll wait. /lh

Part 2 of this post will be going up shortly!

#Noderum Records #PK Rambles #I like chit chatting what can I say? /lh #Fun fact: Mycah isn't on the list because I legit cannot think of how I'd make a playlist for them /lh #And Sol's playlist is the only one that's not publicly available!#For reasons <33 /lh

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maplecornia · 9 months

Text

chapter 72

infinite stars masterlist | BTS masterlist | masterlist | playlist

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 5.31K

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤: bts x female!reader

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: there are a multitude of stars, but who are the ones who get a chance to shine?

Jennie is not the type of person who dwells.

People, memories, objects, or desires...these were not things that required her consistent compassion or attention. They were mere moments in time, and more often than not, they presented to her no consequence. So whenever she did find herself dwelling on anything, or anyone, she treasured whatever it was faithfully. She pursued them loyally, with no regrets, and gave every part of herself to keep them close. In a life such as the one she has led, to do anything less would be inconceivable. And as such, for those she did choose to keep close, the memories she fought to savor and enjoy, for every little thing she owned and dwelled on, she did so with a fervent fever. A passion and love that no one would ever have known.

She should have expected that this would be her reaction, when she came to learn Taehyung would be attending. All these feelings that collect deep within her gut, turning her face hot, and her nerves skyrocketing, should be no surprise to Jennie by now.

Her heart racing when Jisoo first mentioned his name, her senses heightening and neck craning around each and every corner just to make sure he was not waiting for her there, the cold and clammy sweat lingering on her palms as she wrings them in and out in her anticipation.

She was a mess, a fool still hanging on to the boy who left her behind, just like all those years ago, and she hates herself for it. She should have known that without any real closure, she would stay stagnant where he had left her. That even though their fairy tale had ended long before she was ready, she would still be clinging to their dream.

Or perhaps, a dream she had created all on her own.

So when she spies him for the first time, pacing anxiously in front of his dressing room door, long before her members even begin to notice; she should not be surprised at the butterflies in her stomach. The leap in her throat, and the blush that starts to heat her cheeks. She should not be surprised that even now she can read his emotions, that she knows he is overthinking a decision, that he left the dressing room to get the air he needed to think, and that the staff member who pesters him to return inside might as well not exist for he is so deeply lost within his mind. She should not be shocked to learn that even while in their time apart from each other they have changed, there are still so many parts to him that have stayed the same.

Just as she has stayed the same.

Jennie is not one to dwell.

But he was always the one exception.

"Fancy meeting you here, Tae!"

At the familiar greeting, Taehyung looks up from his nervous wandering and can't help but smile at the sight of Jisoo waving at him a few feet away. Her eyes are bright and her grin reaches to her ears as she jogs the rest of the way into his waiting arms.

"Don't even bother, Jisoo. Little TaeTae is too famous nowadays to bother with peasants like us." At Lisa's little quip, Taehyung rolls his eyes and dodges her reach for a hug in retaliation, skirting around her thin body to wrap Rose up in his embrace instead.

"I know it's your big comeback and all, but were you really going to ignore your oldest friends?" Rose grunts into Taehyung's shoulder when he squeezes her a bit too tight, and all Taehyung can do is laugh as he releases her. He doesn't get much of a chance to respond anyhow as he turns to give a pouty Lisa her hug, for Jimin pokes his head out of the dressing room after hearing the commotion. When he sees Rose, his eyes brighten mischievously and almost as a knee-jerk reaction, places his hand up to his mouth and calls out her name.

"Hey, Rosie Posie!"

Or rather, a tired old nickname.

Cringing almost vividly at the sound, Rose automatically knows the culprit responsible and sends Jimin a chilling glare over her shoulder. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

Jimin cocks his head playfully as the smile on his face only grows before answering. "As many times as I've told you I don't care."

And though Rose feigns anger as she chases him into the dressing room, the laughter is clear on her face as it is with the members who are close behind her. Laughter and cheerful greetings which only grow once the door is shut behind them, the rest of the members happy and glad to see their friends come to wish them luck and congratulations.

Throughout the years, the two groups have always been pitted against each other, told by their fans that they are meant to hate each other when it couldn't be farther from the truth. They have always been close, so close that it soon became common knowledge that they were just as much family as their very own members. They've lost and loved with each other, felt and supported the other, fought and made up over and over and over. And though their friendship may have been destroyed by the public, behind closed doors they could not be more close than they are now.

And as such, that long friendship also meant Jennie and Taehyung were always connected. No matter what transpired between them, how awkward things were or still are, or how stagnant Jennie has remained in her feelings, they would never discard the other. For it was this unbreakable friendship that grew their love in the first place, and it is this very same friendship that prompts Jennie to stay behind as she sees the look in Taehyung's eyes.

"Hey."

It's clear by the way Tae's eyes awaken with life as he turns to face her that he hadn't noticed until now she had stayed behind. If she was not mistaken, he would have resumed his pacing if she had not spoken up and broken him out of whatever trance he was lost in. And it’s not the normal, doting trance he adopts when he is lost inside his daydreams. No, this is almost a manic obsession that he debates within his mind. As though he is gravitating toward something in the distance. His desperate need to be there overtakes his priority to stay, and yet he finds himself growing anxious at the thought of even pursuing that desire.

“What’s going on?”

At the question, Taehyung chuckles nervously to himself and shakes his head. He of all people knows that Jennie knows him better than anyone else, and so he avoids her gaze, quite obviously looking everywhere but her piercing eyes.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.” Jennie stares at him incredulously, as though she couldn't tell he was trying to avoid her question, and Taehyung rolls his eyes in response.

“Can you not?”

“What? I’m not doing anything.” Feigning innocence, Jennie shrugs her shoulders, avoiding Taehyung's eyes as he did to her once before.

“Yes you are, you’re judging me.”

“How can you tell?" Jennie widens her eyes and modifies her stance so that she's mimicking Taehyung, her chin dropping to her chest as she tries her best to replicate his voice when she speaks next. "Maybe this is just my face.”

“Seriously?” At the sight, Taehyung chuckles to himself, and Jennie's face spreads into a grin before reverting back to her normal self. She had forgotten what it felt like to make him laugh, and how much she loved to bring a smile to his face.

"Look at that." She proclaims proudly, receiving a confused glance from Taehyung. "I finally got a smile out of you."

Almost automatically, his smile falls as he returns the same look she gave him moments before, and she can barely keep her giggles in as she returns it and the two of them engage in a brief staredown duel. It's not long before the two of them delve into a fit of giggles and chortling laughter, bringing forth a new warmth in Jennie's heart.

With Taehyung, it was always like this. Friendly banter and easy jokes, with him it was as easy as breathing. He always knew the right thing to say, always gave her the best advice, and was there for her when she needed him. Soon enough she found that she needed him the same way she needed oxygen, and for a while, he was exactly that; going so far as to be the air she breathed.

That is until he wasn't

"No, but seriously, what's going on?"

Before Taehyung can reply, a younger group walks past them, and the pair bow respectfully to them, the rookies returning the gesture with bright rosy cheeks, excited gasps and murmurs of greetings. In them, Taehyung sees a ghost of himself, a reminder of what he was before the darkness had entered his heart. Full of hope and promise, a dream burning a fierce fire of desire within him to climb that mountain and reach the stars.

He wants to ask Yen if she feels the same as he once did.

If she thinks it's possible to find a way to relight the same bonfire, or if once it leaves it's gone forever. If his dream has since changed, or if it has simply distorted itself into a future where he could stand beside her without having to apologize or explain himself.

"I told you--"

"How long have we known each other?"

At Jennie's question, Taehyung rolls his eyes, but at the look in hers, he knows he’s not going to get out of avoiding one of her questions again. So, no matter how redundant he finds them, he plays along with her guessing game.

"A while."

"And how long have we been friends?"

"A long time."

At the proud smirk on Taehyung's face, Jennie punches him promptly in his arm for his sarcasm. He laughs in response, flinching far enough away from her so that if she were to try and hit him again she'd have less luck.

“Anyways, the point is, I know you. We’ve been friends for years and a couple of those years we were more than that, Tae.” Jennie watches closely to see if there's any form of redeemable emotion in Taehyung's eyes as she mentions their relationship. She looks for some sort of sign that it was real, that he felt and still feels the same way she does even now. “I know when something is wrong. So why won’t you tell me?”

And at the memory of the two of them together, though it's faint and perhaps only a flicker of emotion, Taehyung smiles to himself, his eyes softening at his reminiscence.

In those moments with Jennie beside him, he was happy. It wasn't a fleeting happiness either, it was real and warm and comfortable. With her, it was the first relationship he had that hadn't lasted for only a few weeks, the first relationship he was actually serious about. If you asked him at the time, he would have told you he was in love with her. That this was the person he wanted a forever together with. He knows it's his fault that they broke up, but even back then he wondered if his decision was a mistake.

Now, he wonders if those parts of him still exist.

“I guess I’m a bit…conflicted?” Taehyung murmurs in response as he leans against the hallway's white pristine walls. Not one sign of a blemish, a mark against the concrete. How nice must it be, to be kept in perfection.

“How so?”

“I…”

When Jennie sees the hesitation, her heart drops a bit.

She watches as he rubs the back of his neck, what he normally does when he grows nervous. She sees the red-pinkish hue to the tips of his ears when he grows uncomfortable and bashful. And above all, she notices that even though he avoids meeting her eyes, his have begun to sparkle at the mere thought of them. The same way they used to sparkle every time he was around her.

And that's when she remembers the headlines.

The woman in the headlines, the staff member in the photos, the mysterious model in the magazines...

“This has to do with the girl doesn’t it?” At Taehyung's quick and prompt reaction of wide eyes and a gaping mouth wide with shock and surprise, she knows that her suspicions were correct. Rolling her eyes in mild annoyance, she shakes her head. “Seriously Tae, everyone is talking about it, you thought I wouldn’t know?”

“Well…”

Jennie can't help but scoff at his reaction, not to mention his carelessness and naivety. Though she knows Taehyung does not care much for public opinion, and quite literally operates as though he has little to no rules holding him down, he at least had common sense. Even when they were dating he knew how to subtly drop signs of their relationship, without making the front page practically every night they met or were involved with the other.

What is it about this girl that makes him forget himself so?

“She’s really made you careless hasn’t she?”

Watching as Jennie leans against the wall opposite Taehyung, he shrugs meekly, finding it much safer to stare at the ground instead of meeting Jennie's eyes.

“I guess you could say that.”

He never much liked it when she was upset, and thankfully they were so alike that he never pushed her so far that she was ever upset with him for long, if at all. But, to be fair, back then he had a pass as her boyfriend.

Now, things are a bit different.

“Who is she?”

Jennie didn't mean to sound as condescending as she does when she says the words. Taehyung wonders if she even notices that she does before he gives her a look.

“What?!”

And at the defensive rise of her shoulders, the way she crosses her arms across her midsection, her chin jutting out as she returns his gesture with wide eyes; he knows that he is correct in his assumption.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you anything.”

“Oh come on Tae, not this again.”

“What?! It’s weird!”

Jennie knows he's right.

At the mere mention of his heart belonging to anyone else but her, she could feel the rise of jealousy in her stomach and she hated it. She knew she had no right to be upset or angry that he was moving on, but then again, is it her fault she was never offered the same chance? She wasn't the one who let him go, she wasn't the one who didn't even get a chance to see him face-to-face before he left her behind.

He was given all this time, all this freedom to figure out what he wanted, and what was she left with besides the memories that he had laced with pain in spite of all the happiness they had shared?

“What about this is weird, Taehyung? We’ve been broken up for years now!”

But if she admits it to herself, then what would that make her?

"Yeah but--"

A fool.

"Do not say it."

For staying stagnant all those years, just waiting for a moment when she could see him again. Holding onto memories and dwelling on them as though that would make them hurt any less than they already did. All so she could be reassured that they were real.

"Jennie…"

That he had once loved her, and she had loved him.

"I swear to God Taehyung, if you don't shut up."

And Taehyung does follow her instructions, even if it is only for a moment. Jennie knew he was going to say the words anyways, but it is his irrevocable kindness that causes him to hesitate. And though in reality, she knows that she won't be mad at him, because she already knows his words are the truth. But she can’t help but feel that a few more seconds of denial can't hurt more than they already have.

"We never got closure did we?"

Sighing, Jennie smiles to herself, unable to look him in the eye when she next speaks. "It's hard to get closure when your boyfriend runs away to enlist after dumping you over text."

Taehyung winces at the memory, his shame causing him to bow his head before her as he suddenly finds the linoleum tile to be extremely interesting.

"Yeah…I didn't handle that well, did I?"

"No, you did not." Jennie scoffs, but when she raises her eyes and sees his swimming with forgotten apologies and regrets from a past he wishes he could erase, she feels the immediate regret deep within her heart. Pushing herself off of her wall, she walks to rest beside him, hoping that her warmth is enough to ease what little pain his memories bring him.

"But you were going through a lot, and I understood why you did what you did." She had almost forgotten the way his world had darkened in the few months leading up to their breakup. How her absence and excuses of his very growing deprecation hurt him when she was supposed to be the one rock he could lean on. She only added to the slippery slope he soon later fell under, and that is one thing she will never forgive herself for. "Sometimes…people just aren't made for each other, and we moved on just fine didn't we?"

And though he knows her words are a well-fabricated lie, Taehyung still smiles as she gives him a small shove.

"See? It's not weird at all." Jennie reassures him, to which Taehyung shakes his head. "We used to talk about this stuff all the time!"

"Most of the time I did that to impress you."

Pushing down the automatic butterflies that begin to dance in her stomach at the words, Jennie raises an eyebrow as she reaches forward to flick his nose in punishment for his smooth talking. "Don't try to flatter me Kim Taehyung, it won't distract me the way you think it will."

Taehyung watches in annoyance as Jennie, almost in a decisive manner, slides to the ground, patting the floor next to her. He scoffs at the gesture, but when those piercing eyes meet his it's almost as though he has no say and quite reluctantly plops on the floor beside her.

"You know, half of what I'm wearing costs roughly a thousand won."

"Does it?" Jennie replies, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "Half of what I'm wearing is close to three thousand, so quit your whining."

Taehyung smiles at her attitude, watching fondly as she repositions her clothes so that she is sitting the most comfortably she can whilst not getting them any dirtier than she has to. She's always been like this, short tempered and brazen. She never cared about what others said, and was filled with so much laughter and life that everyone wanted to be her or be around her.

Perhaps that is what drew him to her in the first place.

That she could understand his need to be free, his desire to break away from the caged universe he longed to escape. In a time when he needed someone who understood what it felt like to have everything and yet be made to feel so small so insignificant, she was exactly what he desired. After all, she knew how it felt to be him. How it felt to hold the world in your hands and consistently burn every time it managed to get too close.

"Why are you conflicted?"

And even now, no matter how terrible he left things between them, she is still willing to support him like she did when he needed her the most. Taehyung wonders how someone can be so selfless when all he has done is hurt, but Jennie knows that love, no matter what shape or form, knows no bounds. Even if she lets him go, she will still care for him.

Things will be different, but no longer will she be stuck in the past of forgotten memories.

"I don't know what to do, Jennie. I mean she's…she's just…" Taehyung sighs in frustration, trying to find the right words to describe just how Yen moves him. For how do you describe someone you have waited your whole life to meet? How do you describe the person that makes the cruel, confusing world somehow seem warm and inviting?

"You know that feeling, where you see someone and the world just stops spinning? Everything else fades away and all you can see is them? That one person that makes everything make sense, that makes your world stop just so you can see them smile, that just turns everything upside down and yet right at the same time?"

Jennie wonders if he knows.

If he's seen the way he looks when he talks about her.

"Yeah…"

"I've never felt that before. At least not before her." Jennie tries to hide the way the words stab her violently in her heart. She has to resist the urge to ask him if that meant their relationship meant nothing to him. If that meant though he may have loved her, she was not meant to be his after all. "But now…now everything is so complicated."

"What are you talking about?"

Taehyung swallows hard before answering Jennie's question.

"She's not a staff member, Jennie. She's a trainee."

"Oh."

"She was the one modeling with Hobi."

"Oh."

"And our big performance tonight is really so she can make her big debut."

"Oh."

"And her mother was the one you saw on the news involved in dating rumors with Jimin."

"Oh, shit."

Taehyung scoffs at her expression, leaning his head back against the wall.

"Shit is right."

Even when he says it aloud it sounds hard to believe, especially when you consider how everything has fallen apart in just a couple of months. Ever since he first saw you across the way, walking fearlessly in a street of ongoing traffic, it's been a constant mess of twists and turns. And yet, at every moment he's been given a chance to turn away, he's only wanted you more. He kept coming back, kept fighting for you over and over and over again.

He chose you.

"So I'm guessing your conflict..."

Taehyung nods. He doesn't have to look at Jennie to know what she's thinking, after all, it was the very same thing they told him to do when he had chosen to stay by her side all those years ago.

"They told me to stay away from her, and I know they're right. I know it's not good for her to get into a scandal, particularly one with me, particularly when she's so near to her debut…but I don't want to stay away."

Or rather, I can't stay away.

Taehyung runs his hair in frustration, as though that would erase Yen from his mind. Perhaps if he tried hard enough he could obliterate the mark she had made on his heart ever since their first encounter. Perhaps if he found enough reasons to not want her, then things would be easier. He could move on, find another dream, one where he didn't have the incessant need to stay by her side for the rest of his life.

"And I know I'm a fool for wanting her, and I know I'm selfish, and I know it's not fair. God, she just watched her mother get torn apart for being involved with one of us, I know I have no right to even imagine--"

"But you do." Taehyung turns to Jennie, and at the sight of someone so lovesick, Jennie cannot help but smile softly. After years of wanting something she had lost, somehow seeing something she can no longer have sets her heart at peace. "Don't you?"

Taehyung nods and as he does, Jennie finds a part of herself fading away.

Perhaps it dies too quickly for her to feel it, or perhaps it had died long ago, and it's only at this moment that she can let it go and ease her suffering. Perhaps it was only a remnant, a desire for what things could have been rather than what things have become. Perhaps she always knew this day would come, and all she had to do was hear him say the words.

"I'm going to ask you this once, and only once."

Jennie cannot tell you what it is, but for the first time since their goodbye, she is no longer dwelling on the man before her. For it is only at this moment that she realizes, she no longer needs him to find the air to breathe.

"Is she made for you?"

But that's the thing, isn't it?

If he could have erased her he would have done it by now. If he wanted to let her go then he would've left her side long ago. In reality, Taehyung would never do any of those things, because just as he was Jennie's air, Yen is his everything.

She is his sun, his moon, his night, his gravity, his lifeline...

And for her, he would be anything she needed and more.

"I think so."

"Taehyung, do you love her?"

Taehyung doesn't answer the question, but he doesn't need to. As soon as his eyes reach Jennie's, she already knows his response and at the sight, she smiles. Their story is now over and done, but when she looks at him now, she can tell that his next chapter will be full of everything he needs. And from the bottom of her heart, she prays that he achieves that happiness he's always desired. The freedom he's always fought for.

Even if it's not with her by his side.

"Then there's your answer."

The door opens to their dressing room, and as Jennie watches her members leave, calling out more jokes and goodbyes, Taehyung sits there in silence, his head spinning.

Love?

Is this love?

It feels as though it's such a simple explanation, such a familiar feeling, a feeling that's been sitting deep within him for a while now. From the very first moment she fell on top of him, her wide eyes finding a startling connection with his, as though she were some missing part he hadn't realized he needed. From the first time he saw her smile, to the minute he heard her sing. The way a simple gesture from her meant that he would think about her for the rest of his waking moments. The way her voice would calm his deepest anxieties. The way however she looked at him would decipher if it was a good or bad day. The way he needed her, the way he wanted her, the way he longed for her to need him as well. The intricate moments they have shared, and the memories she has embedded deep within his mind…

When did she first make her mark on his heart? When did she become a part of him so that he now finds it impossible to imagine a world without her near?

Was all of that, love?

As Jennie stands, preparing to leave with her members, Taehyung is quick to jump to his feet and take her by the arm, stopping her from moving away. Bewildered, Jennie looks at him in concern.

"How do you deal with it?"

At the question, Jennie's eyes widen. She tries to search his eyes for a reason behind the question, behind his desperation to erase a feeling that is perhaps the most impossible to destroy. Shaking her head, she takes his hand in hers, pulling it off her arm and holding it gently. It is only then that she notices he is shaking.

"You can't deal with it Tae, you just learn to live with it."

Taehyung shakes his head violently, his breath shallowing as his chest rises and falls quicker and quicker with each passing moment. Jennie can see that he is afraid, but of what, she does not understand.

"Jennie, if I love her then that means she's only going to get hurt." Taehyung looks at her with tears in his eyes, almost pleading with her to help him find a way out. "I can't do this to her, I can't be the reason she falls before she's given a chance to fly."

At the words, Jennie's heart breaks for him.

He knows what it feels like to have something so precious from him stolen away. To have a light inside you burn out before you're ready to let it go. She's watched how the world has been so cruel to him, she witnessed firsthand how his desperation has damaged him beyond all repair. To see him frightened that it could happen to someone whom he loves breaks her heart.

"Look Tae, love isn't easy." She murmurs, reaching forward and stroking her thumbs in comforting circles on his skin, hoping that it would somehow ease him, even if it's just for a moment.

"It's not supposed to be. We can't choose it, sometimes it's hard to fathom it, and sooner or later it will hurt you, no matter what." Leaning forward so that he looks at her straight in the eye, she smiles softly. "It's what you choose to do with love that really matters, how you choose to live because of or in spite of it."

For two people who've already been so broken, is it such an unfathomable idea to believe that perhaps their missing pieces, their key to becoming whole once more, lies within the other?

Perhaps it is not as simple as falling in love, but isn't it a start?

To find someone else whom you can lean on even if it's just for a moment, even if it's just until you can feel okay again?

"You'll figure out what to do, Tae, but I can't solve this for you. Only you can figure out what you want, and only she can decide if that's something worth fighting for."

Despite everything that may hold the two of them back, it is a miracle in itself to have managed to find that person you were made for. And it is a great blessing if they find they want you just as badly as you did the first moment you laid your eyes on them.

"Have you ever felt it?" Taehyung murmurs, his eyes distant once more, and Jennie wonders if you know the world he escapes to behind those irises. If he’s already let you in where he never dared to let her close. For that is how she imagines it’s like, finding your other piece.

Two world’s colliding, because they were always meant to be whole.

"Felt what, Tae?"

"Love."

At the question, Jennie's eyes grow wide in surprise.

That was it, wasn't it?

The answer to the questions she had been longing to hear for years.

She had thought it would hurt more. That the idea she loved him more than he ever could would cause her to break down in tears. But in reality, she had always known that she cared more for him than he could have ever imagined.

Because after all, she was madly in love with him, when he couldn’t begin to fathom how love felt like.

And though in the moment’s past where he whispered sweet nothings to her through the night. Told her everything she could ever hope to hear, made her believe in him and the fantasy he had created so beautifully. It wouldn't be until this moment that he would realize everything he had ever said was a lie.

So when she doesn't answer, it's not out of bitterness or anger. Her smile isn't laced with sadness or pain. Her touch on his skin isn't because she still longs for him.

It is because this is the moment she finally lets go.

No more dwelling in the past.

No more waiting on someone who had already faded away.

This time, the memories are just memories.

“Good luck today.”

And as she turns away from him for the final time, jogging up to join the rest of her members as they head back to their seats, she could not be happier than she is at this moment.

"Everything okay?"

At Lisa's question, Jennie nods, turning to her with the brightest smile Lisa has seen on her friend's face in a long time.

"I think…I think I just found my closure."

chapter 73 here

note ::

LITTLE DISCLAIMER

i had planned this chapter before the rumors (and quite frankly MULTIPLE indirect confirmations) about Jennie's and Tae's relationship released and I was actually debating whether to include it or not.

the chapter was originally included to showcase the toxic way we view idol's relationships and ironically criticize heavy shippers who literally ship idols to a point where it's harmful...

which could still hold some truth but after the rumors...doesn't really hold up in context LOL

the reason why I decided to include it even after their relationship, however, was ONE to show how fanwars can affect the relationships between groups, and how we don't know what goes on behind the scenes so it's okay to shut up sometimes and TWO to show how relationships aren't always made to last even if you believe in a happy ending. if you aren't meant to be, you aren't meant to be

that isn't to say that i am praying on Jennie's and Tae's downfall because it's quite the opposite actually, it just means that in the context of this FICTIONAL STORY I thought it helped the overall message that i was trying to convey

IN ANY CASE

I hope you enjoyed!

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