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#roasted walking mushroom
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Masterpost
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Gray Sky & Dinners
That gray sky advancing into the east eventually dropped some rain on me while I was on my walk: 
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Thursday dinner - arugula salad with homegrown tomatoes, polenta parmigiana with beef & portabella mushroom sauce & a medley of peas & corn: 
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Friday dinner - romaine salad with homegrown tomatoes, roasted turkey breast with rice & leftover medley of peas & corn:
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pianokantzart · 1 year
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YES! GOOD! I’m going to just going to analyze the whole dinner scene, because it’s one of my favorite parts of the movie. 
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Mario and Luigi walk in, and immediately the whole room lights up to greet them. Despite everything that follows, one thing is clear: The Mario Brothers are happy to see their family, and the family is happy to see them. 
The whole family confirms that they watched their commercial. Everyone except their mom insists the commercial was a bad idea, but the fact that they all watched it speaks to the fact that there is no indifference regarding Mario and Luigi’s dream. They’re eager to see where this endeavor leads, even if they think it’s going to end in failure. 
The moment Mario and Luigi sit down at the table, their uncles begin laying into them like it’s open season on financially struggling plumbers. Just full blown, no-holds-barred roast mode on their nephews.
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Mario is on the defensive, but he doesn’t get angry, he’s just trying to argue his side. Clearly this is typical behavior for Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur. They’re loud, overly honest, and obnoxiously confident in their opinions. Uncle Arthur, thankfully, has his wife to keep him in check. Uncle Tony, however, who is seated next to poor Luigi, is an absolute menace.
Luigi ignores all the teasing. He is only interested in getting food, but this is not an easy task. Tony’s verbal arguments are all directed at Mario, but Luigi is the one who gets prodded and shoved around, and that makes getting dinner next to impossible.
Luigi attempts to serve himself salad, attempts to ask for a roll, attempts to eat the mushrooms being put on his plate, and at every turn he’s either pushed away or talked over. He is clearly very soft spoken compared to the other men in his family, and never quite had the strength to stand up for himself... after all, everyone means well, they just lack self awareness. It isn’t worth the fight. 
Thankfully, Luigi’s mom comes to the rescue, and puts a bowl of soup in front of her boy. She’s the queen of the caretaker role, making sure all the loose ends are tied up and that everybody eats.
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But on the flip side, it’s interesting to note that once the uncles start tearing into Mario, Mario’s Dad serves him up a plate of food. He may have just been serving the person next to him because that was the polite thing to do, but I have a theory...
I think that this wasn’t the first night that Mario and his uncles went at each other. I think Mario’s Dad read the room, and figured that if Mario was going to spend dinner playing defense, he should at least remember to eat while doing so.
It also speaks volumes that Mario’s Dad doesn’t voice his disapproval until Mario asks for his opinion. Before then he avoids the subject and lets everyone else do the talking, but so long as he’s being questioned directly, he can’t help but be honest.
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“I think... you’re nuts. You don’t quit a steady job for some crazy dream.” This sounds like a voice of experience. Mario’s Dad has the figure of someone who has worked physical labor for a good portion of his life (look the size of those arms). He may have had dreams of his own when he was younger, but he had a wife and kids to worry about, and family took priority. 
Speaking of family taking priority: “... and the worst part? You’re bringing your brother down with you.” That settles it. The conversation has gone from a casual roast session to dead serious. The entire room falls quiet as Mario puts down his fork and storms off. 
“What’d I say?” Everybody at the table (except the niece, she’s long since checked out) gives Mario’s Dad different versions of the look™. Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur have the same “Jesus Christ bro, you didn’t have to go there” expression, and Luigi just looks hurt on Mario’s behalf. His Dad, however, is just confused.  
He didn’t get the gravity of what he said. His relationship with his own brothers– loudmouthed schmucks who call their own shots – is completely alien to what Luigi and Mario have. He probably knows Mario is protective of Luigi, but he doesn’t realize the depth of responsibility Mario feels for him. Anyone can see that Luigi is loyal to his brother, but Mario alone knows how loyal he is, and the implication that he’s betraying that loyalty is intensely painful. 
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I doubt Uncle Arthur and Uncle Tony truly relate to Mario and Luigi’s relationship either, but they’ve probably teased Mario enough to understand one thing: bringing Luigi into it is a line you do not cross.
Conclusion:
There is a lot of love in the Mario family.
Uncle Tony and Uncle Arthur are definitely the most insufferable of the bunch, but there is no malice in their teasing. While they are brash and overbearing, it’s all in good fun, and they get visibly uncomfortable when things go too far and someone actually ends up hurt. 
Luigi seems to take after his mother; kind, nonconfrontational, and happily invested in a supporting role. While his Mom cares for and assists the family, Luigi cares for and assists his brother, both emotionally and in his business ventures.
Mario, in the meantime, takes after his Dad, who appears to be the oldest of the three brothers. He doesn’t always think before speaking, but he isn’t constantly running his mouth like Arthur or Tony, and acts with the gravity of someone who bears a lot of responsibility. He doesn’t quite “get” his sons, but he knows enough to see that Luigi follows his brother everywhere, and Mario does not always think before jumping into things. Despite what Mario may believe, his Dad doesn’t see him as a “joke” so much as he sees him as an impulsive young man who doesn’t grasp the consequences of his actions. But Mario does understand the consequences of his actions, he just dreams big, and... thanks to Luigi... actually has the support he needs to pursue those dreams. 
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amethystsoda · 4 months
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Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon Recipe masterlist - part 1
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(project started in July 2023 and ongoing! I'll continue updating as the recipes are posted — all recipes so far were created before they appeared in the anime) part 2
Recipe 1 - Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hotpot
comparison pics / process video / video and recipe commentary
- full list continued after the jump -
Recipe 2 - Man Eating Plant Tart
gelatin hell process 1 + process 2 / comparison pics of redo / redo video with quiche
Recipe 3 - Roast Basilisk
brining / kfc super shy meme / oven setup and finished bird / planning for recipe 4 / process video
Recipe 4 - Mandrake and Basilisk Omelet (Omelette)
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 5 - Mandrake Kakiage and Giant Bat Tempura
Planning for recipe 5 and 6 / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 6 - Living Armor Soup
comparison pics and commentary on process / process video
Recipe 7 - Golem Field Fresh Veggie Lunch
planning for 7 and 8 / cooking research / process video / comparison pics
Recipe 8 - Freshly Stolen Vegetables and Chicken Stewed with Cabbage Accompanied by Plundered Bread
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 9 - Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks
planning 1 + planning 2 / coinbug carving process 1 + process 2 / gem making test / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 10 - Special Interfaith Holy Water and Exorcism Sorbet
planning / process / process video / comparison pics / second comparison with anime
Recipe 11 - Court Cuisine: Full Course Meal
planning 1 + planning 2 / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 12 - Boiled Mimic and Kelpie Oil Soap
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 13 - Porridge made from Grain that was just Lying Around
comparison pics and thoughts / process video
Recipe 14 - Giant Parasite from a Giant Kraken Grilled Plain and Kabayaki-Style
eel defrosting / comparison pics and process / process video
Recipe 15 - Farcille Raspberry Tart
planning for tart / ganache process / final pictures / process video
Recipe 16 - Grilled Kelpie
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 17 - Tentacles with Vinegar + Tentacle and Kelpie stew, prepared with Undine
planning / comparison pics / process video / (fullmetal alchemist stew meme)
BONUS - All the DunMeshi meals so far edit
Recipe 18 - Tentacle Gnocchi
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 19 - “Let’s Cutlet the Red Dragon”
original katsudon attempt from 2023 / katsu excitement / comparison pics / process video / anime comparison
Recipe 20 - Red Dragon Meal
planning 1 / planning 2 / oxtail broth update / pickled daikon recipe / comparison pics / process video: part 1 and part 2 / recipe post
Recipe 21 - Lost Red Dragon "Ham" + Orc Medicine Toast
comparison pics / process video
Recipe 22 - Travel Rations Set for Adventurers
planning / comparison pics / process video
Recipe 23 - Jack-o'-Lantern Potage and Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese
planning / pumpkin bowl face / comparison pics / process video / blooper reel
BONUS - (dunmeshi zine chef contributor announcement!!!)
Recipe 24 - Eisbein-Style Cockatrice and Dryad Bud Sauerkraut
planning / sauerkraut poll / comparison pics / process video
BONUS - DunMeshi tiktok milestones!
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pixiecaps · 6 months
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Mariana: And do you like carnitas? (Pork dish)
(Codeflippa nods)
Mariana: (Muted) Lets see if it’s really Juanafluppa.
Mariana: You do like them?
(Codeflippa nods again)
(Mariana goes silent)
Mariana: In other words, you like the roast beef?
(Codeflippa doesn’t answer)
Mariana: No, no, no, don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.
Mariana: So roasted beef taquitos, which do you prefer? Or the pork ones? Which do you prefer?
Codeflippa: Uh the mushroom ones.
(Mariana starts walking away)
Mariana: Give me a little moment dear. I’m going to smoke a cigarette, don’t follow me.
(Groans)
Mariana: I told you guys. She is not Juanaflippa, not by a long shot. She is some kind of Beelzebub demon. Or Valak. One of those fuckers who come out in the night from the devil. I can assure you she is not Juanaflippa. We have to be careful, each and every one of her movements- look what she’s doing.
(Codeflippa spins in circles)
Mariana: Just look at what she's doing. Look. Look. Look. She’s moving at 360 degrees in a circle of salt. Why do you think?
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skyward-floored · 3 months
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Here’s my (very late) birthday fic for @kikker-oma, it’s based off her art for day 17 of whumptober!
(Which at least one other person has already written a fic for but I didn’t realize until after I’d already started writing it so any similarities are pure coincidence 😅)
https://www.tumblr.com/kikker-oma/731400216730828800?source=share
I hope you like it Oma, happy (very belated) birthday!!!
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Something was wrong with Legend.
Time could see it in the way the teenager walked, his steps heavy and dragging. How he lingered at the back of the group and barely spoke, mostly just nodding along to whatever it was Wind was telling him, and didn’t go out of his way to speak to anyone, his words sharp and vicious when he did.
Normally Time wouldn’t think twice about Legend being a little extra antisocial and standoffish. He was often grumpy (though Time had seen his soft interior once or twice in the brief time they’d been traveling together), and it wasn’t surprising his mood would get a little more severe now and then.
No, the worrying thing was that it had been several days since the behavior began, and it hadn’t gone away yet.
If anything, it had gotten worse.
Legend seemed to get more lethargic and snappish as they traveled across the wilderness of Wild’s Hyrule, keeping to himself even more intensely, and largely ignoring the rest of them. He’d gotten paler too, in just the few days of whatever this was, and Time was only growing more concerned.
It was worrying. Incredibly so.
Time had been keeping a closer eye on Legend ever since he’d realized something was up, and most of the others seemed to catch on that something was wrong as well, but nobody had confronted Legend about it yet. Or if they had, hadn’t succeeded at all in fixing the problem. Twilight had tried to tactfully approach the subject just that morning, and Legend had nearly bitten his head off in response.
Time wasn’t sure what to do, and he wasn’t the only one.
After all, none of them liked to admit something was wrong with themselves— Time himself was certainly guilty of that— but Legend, prickly as he was, was one of the worst. Confronting him head-on about whatever the issue was would only make him more likely to deny anything was wrong at all, as Twilight had already demonstrated earlier.
But someone needed to get through to him, before something snapped.
And later that day, Time finally got a chance.
They’d reached a good spot to stop for the night, Time watching Legend like a hawk the entire trip there. The veteran had nearly tripped on nothing a few times, but had covered it up so quickly nobody could call him out on it.
They had eaten dinner fairly quietly for once, Wild roasting some mushrooms and meat of some kind. Legend kept to himself during the meal, barely picking at his food, and staying out of the conversation. Everyone pretended not to watch, but it was almost laughable how obvious it was that they were all keeping an eye on him, the worry hanging like a cloud over the group.
And Legend seemed to have noticed the increased scrutiny, as later when the heroes were all settling down for the night— cleaning up dinner, getting out bed rolls— Legend stood and told them all he was going to patrol around.
“Really? Are you sure?” Hyrule piped up, and Four frowned from next to him when Legend nodded.
“...By yourself?” the smithy asked.
A very slight edge of concern lay in his voice, and Legend’s shoulders immediately hiked up to his ears.
“What, you think I can’t handle myself?” he shot back in a sharper tone than normal, and Four quickly raised his hands in a peaceful gesture.
“Of course not Vet, I know you can,” he reassured, and Warriors stepped in.
“Exactly. It’s just dark, and we’re in unfamiliar territory, that’s all,” Warriors put in, and Legend turned to glare at him.
“Yet that’s never an issue when Twilight goes off by himself,” Legend snapped. “Shove off Captain. I’m the veteran, remember? I’ll be fine.”
Then before anyone could stop him, he disappeared into the trees.
All of them watched in an uncomfortable silence as Legend stomped away, and Time stopped Twilight when he went to follow him, placing a hand on his arm.
“Best we wait until he’s calmer,” he said, and Twilight exhaled, then sat down. “...And probably best someone who hasn’t made him mad yet go.”
“I think that’s just you at this point,” Sky pointed out, and Time paused, then sighed as he realized Sky was right. Every single one of the rest of the group had been the target of Legend’s ire in the past few days. Time somehow was the only one who had escaped unscathed... which made him the perfect candidate to follow Legend now.
“All right,” he agreed somewhat reluctantly, and settled down to wait.
“Hylia be with you,” Wild muttered as he cleaned his cooking pot. “You’re gonna need her.”
(...)
Half an hour later, as the others either went to bed or tried to busy themselves, Time got up and headed in the direction that Legend had stormed off in.
The moon was large and bright in the sky, and Time almost didn’t need the lantern he’d brought to find Legend’s trail. Though despite the moonlight lighting his path and the assistance of the lantern, it took Time much longer to find the hunched-over figure of Legend then he’d thought it would.
Legend had gone a fair distance from camp, and plunked himself down on a large fallen tree, his head bowed as he stared at the ground. He didn’t react when Time stepped a bit closer, and Time frowned as he watched him for a moment.
Were his shoulders shaking?
Time purposely crunched a few leaves to signal his presence, and Legend’s ear twitched in response. He didn’t do anything else though, and didn’t look at Time when he carefully sat down beside him on the log and set down the lantern.
An owl hooted nearby, and Time listened to it a moment before letting out a quiet sigh.
“They can be an overbearing bunch, can’t they?” he remarked in the silence, the owl going quiet.
Legend flicked an ear, and didn’t respond.
“...They mean well, though,” Time continued when the silence stretched between them. ”They’re not trying to be overwhelming, or even nuisances. They’re... just concerned about you, Vet.”
Legend let out a little huff of air that almost sounded amused.
“Right,” he said flatly. “Well they shouldn’t bother, there’s nothing to be concerned about.”
His hand tightened where it was held around his waist, and Time couldn’t help but notice when it did. Legend’s face seemed paler in the moonlight shining down on it as well, but when he saw Time staring at him, he scowled.
“Go back to camp old man, I’m fine,” he muttered.
Time took a deep breath. Nayru grant me wisdom, here’s where it gets tricky.
“The way you’ve been acting the past few days seems to speak towards a different answer,” he said in a level voice.
“Well whatever it is you think you’ve noticed is all in your imagination,” Legend shot back, clutching his middle even tighter.
Time looked at it again, and paused in what he was about to say as a thought suddenly dawned on him. He couldn’t remember for sure, not everything at least, but if he was right... would Legend really do something so detrimental to his health like that?
“Legend... when was the last time you ate anything?”
Legend’s mouth turned into a thin, hard line.
Ah-ha.
“That’s none of your business.”
“It is if you’re pushing yourself not to for some reason,” Time said, firmness creeping into his tone as he watched the boy. “We have plenty of supplies Legend, why aren’t you eating?”
“I never said I wasn’t,” Legend snapped back, glaring at him. “And even if I am, maybe I’m just not hungry.”
“Not hungry at all?” Time asked with a raised eyebrow, thinking back to the past several days. “Legend, I don’t seem to recall you actually eating anything recently, you can’t just starve yourself.”
“Oh yeah? Well maybe it would be better for everyone if I did!”
Time blinked in surprise, and Legend’s anger seemed to falter a moment, something horribly vulnerable cracking through the prickly mask he’d thrown on. But he quickly tossed it back over himself, despite the tears trying to gather in his eyes, and his expression reverted back to the anger he’d possessed a few moments ago.
“Link,” Time said quietly, and Legend looked away. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Okay? Would you shove off?”
“Legend,” Time said imploringly, and Legend’s ears pinned back against his head.
“Look I’ve handled it alone before, I can handle it now,” Legend suddenly bit out, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s just— nothing!”
“Nothing wouldn’t make you raise your voice like this,” Time pointed out.
“Well it is!” Legend said in a slightly quieter tone, though it still shook in anger.
Something in Time’s chest ached at the rawness in his voice and the tears that had returned to his eyes. Legend’s lip was trembling, but he was firmly biting down on it to stop it from doing so, and he looked like he was close to losing what control he had left.
Time studied him more intently, trailing carefully over skin flushed with anger, over shaking fists and shoulders, at the hand still held close to his middle.
The shakiness, refusing to eat, the paleness of his face...
Time’s eye widened as a new thought crossed his mind, and he exhaled, reaching a careful hand towards Legend.
“Link, you’re sick, aren’t you?” Time asked in a soft voice, and Legend’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “That’s at least part of this, isn’t it?”
Legend slapped away his extended hand.
“Go away,” he bit out, something truly dangerous in his voice, but Time was nearing the eye of the storm and he wasn’t prepared to back out now. “Go back to camp, wander in the woods or whatever, I don’t care. Just leave.”
“Legend,” Time said, shifting closer. “You can’t keep ignoring this. You nearly fell over earlier, how long have you been feeling ill?”
“There’s nothing to ignore,” Legend snarled. “Just— just leave me alone.”
“I can’t do that,” Time said, his voice soft, but firm. “You need help, and I won’t—”
“I don’t!” Legend shouted, his voice hoarse. He tried to get to his feet, but Time quickly caught him by the wrists, stopping him from leaving. “Just— let go!”
Time shook his head, and Legend tried to jerk out of his hold with no success.
The teenager’s wrists were warm in his grasp, and Time could feel them shaking, though he wasn’t sure if it was from anger or the illness Legend was fighting. Either way, he wasn’t making any headway in escaping, even though Time was sure Legend would have normally been halfway across the forest by now.
Legend tried to swing a fist at Time, but he didn’t succeed in the slightest, the older hero still holding him tight.
“What’s wrong, Link?” he asked, and Legend only struggled harder in his grip.
“Let go!”
Time shook his head, and Legend let out a cry of frustration.
His eyes were glassy with tears as he glared, and his breath came in short pants as he tried desperately to free himself. Legend’s facade of being perfectly fine had dropped in his anger and panic, and Time was now wondering how on earth any of them had missed just how bad things had gotten.
“Leave me ALONE old man!” Legend shouted.
But Time kept holding him, equally gentle and firm as he tried to lurch away. He met Legend’s eyes, stormy and swirling with emotion, and gave his hands a soft squeeze.
“Legend, son, please let me help you,” he said softly.
Legend’s face twisted with rage.
“Don’t call me that!” he nearly screamed, and tried one last time to pull Time’s arms out of his grip.
But he was too weak to free himself, the sickness affecting his strength. Legend couldn’t do anything but struggle, his breath coming in quick gasps, wrists trembling in Time’s hold as he tried to free himself with one last burst of desperation.
Then he crumpled forward, a sob wracking his body.
Time’s eye widened, and he caught Legend, immediately running a hand through his bangs. His forehead was hot where Time’s fingers brushed it, and Legend was shaking so hard he felt like he would fall apart, Time soothing him as he sobbed again.
“Legend, easy,” Time whispered, panic trying to burrow into his chest. He’d never seen Legend like this, screaming and crying and showing his emotions in such a blatantly un-Legend way. And he didn’t exactly have experience with soothing sobbing, feverish teenagers, but Legend was acting so strange...
There’s something else at play here then just a virus, Time thought worriedly, Legend letting out an unsightly hiccup.
All of Legend’s strength seemed to have been used up by their argument, and he lay nearly limp against Time’s arm, shivering, with tears still escaping the corners of his eyes.
“What’s wrong, Link?” Time asked again, careful and soft.
This time Legend didn’t try to pull away or scream at him. He merely let out a quiet breath, one that shuddered on the exhale.
“I... I don’t...” Legend croaked, his eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t... again.”
“You can’t what?” Time asked, and Legend swallowed, tears trickling down his cheeks. Time shifted his grip a little so that Legend’s head rested more comfortably on his shoulder, and waited for him to continue.
“...Care,” Legend whispered finally. His hand tightened where it was fisted in Time’s shirt. “Every time I-I care, someone gets... hurt. I get hurt, I... I can’t again, not...”
He let out a shuddering breath, and his eyes squeezed more tightly shut.
“I don’t want you all to care,” he whispered.
Time looked down at the boy in his arms, shivering and feverish and trying so desperately to fight through it himself, and exhaled.
Oh.
Legend curled into himself at the admission, tears still falling down his cheeks, and Time suddenly saw himself, trying to keep a safe distance from everyone who tried to care for him, afraid of anyone slipping past his barriers and finding the scared little boy hiding behind so desperate for love.
Time swallowed.
We’re all horribly similar, are we not?
“...Being known is a terrifying thing,” Time said after several moments of silence drifted past, voice barely a whisper.
Legend shuddered again.
“I used to think it impossible,” Time whispered. “To be known, but not hurt. Drifting along and staying unattached seemed best, safer. Even when I was in desperate need of help, taking care of myself... seemed like it would hurt less. Without Malon, I have no doubts I would still be that way.”
Time sighed, and looked down at Legend, not even sure if the words were getting through his fever.
“Legend... you don’t have to tell us everything. But we are a team. Brothers, in spirit if not by blood. By merit of those things alone... we care for you,” he said simply. “I have no doubt that if any one of us were in the condition you’re currently in, you would be caring for them as fiercely as anything.“
Time shifted, and met Legend’s eyes, puffy and red, and bright with fever and exhaustion.
“Let us do the same for you.”
Legend closed his eyes and let his head fall back against Time’s shoulder, face scrunched slightly with pain. Several long moments went by, and then Legend let out an exhausted exhale, and gave Time the smallest nod he’d ever seen.
“...Sure. Fine,” he muttered, almost so quietly Time didn’t hear him. “...But only because my head is pounding so hard I can’t... think of anything better at the moment.”
“Trying is half the battle,” Time said with a faint smile, and Legend sighed again, heavy and exhausted.
Time pulled Legend up into his arms, and noted with a bit of worry that Legend was rather frail in his hold, still shivering. And normally the veteran would protest up and down about being carried, but Legend was completely silent, only a few leftover sniffles coming from him as Time hooked the lantern he’d brought to his belt so his hands would be free.
It truly was a miracle Legend had lasted this long without collapsing in front of them all— but Time knew the power of stubbornness when it came to this sort of thing. Malon was still mad at him for that time he’d tried to milk the cows when he’d had that broken wrist.
It was still impressive, though.
I wonder how long he’s had a fever, he wondered as Legend shifted in his arms. One this intense wouldn’t just appear... it must have been at least a day or two.
“...Don’t tell the others,” Legend suddenly whispered as Time began to walk back to camp, and Time looked down at him. “About... you know.”
Time nodded. “The only thing they get to know about is you being sick,” he promised, and Legend relaxed a bit further in his arms.
When they got back to camp, everyone stared, but nobody commented on Legend’s tear-streaked face, or the fact that he was shivering and being carried. Twilight made eye contact with Time, looking at Legend in concern, and Time mouthed the word ‘fever’.
Twilight’s face softened with understanding, and he quickly put out Legend’s bedroll so Time could get Legend into it.
Legend didn’t resist, and the others didn’t directly address the fact that he had obviously been hiding the fact that he was sick from them all. They merely went about their business, occasionally drifting by where Legend was lying in his bedroll, offering a few words, or some food, or just quiet company that offered to place a wet cloth on his forehead.
And when Legend finally fell asleep, he looked more relaxed then Time had seen him in weeks.
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mhsdatgo · 3 months
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Hotd writers choosing to adapt Mushroom's records out of everything they had in hand is the worst decision they could've ever come up with btw.
It's been stated time and time again that while F&B is purely built on records and gossip and morphed retelling of events out of bias and propaganda, Mushroom is the LEAST reliable of all the sources. He's a fool at Rhaenyra's court, his job is make people gasp and laugh, not retell historical events.
We're talking about the same guy who said that he had a penis large enough to match the size of his head, mind you. Also, he's obsessed with little girls giving BJs to Targaryen men somewhere in Flea Bottom. It's happened twice according to him.
The writers' reasoning for this choice is basically that F&B was written by Maesters and Septons, who were all greedy men, apart from being Green supporters. So anything they say is false, anything they say is written with sexist intent. Writer's intention was to do the exact opposite.
Then tell me, for the love of God, tell me, why is every woman apart from Rhaenyra, who is clearly whitewashed and I can go into heavy detail about that, basically shunned?
The Maesters claim Alicent left Viserys' body to rot and swell for days preparing and LEADING Rhaenyra's usurpation. She's the leader of the Greens, she and she alone. Not Otto. The Green Council answers only to her orders, they are loyal to HER.
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I've seen people argue that since Alicent is what Maesters view as an "ideal" woman, then they would try anything to paint her in the best light possible. While I agree that this may be true, I don't think this is the case. In history books, even in real life, women are rarely painted as leaders or important figures.
For Queen Alicent to be written as THE face of the Greens, you know this mama wasn't playing around.
Now, how is this:
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In ANY WAY, even comparable to THIS?:
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At the end of ep.8 and quite literally the entirety of ep.9, Alicent is shown as a lost woman who doesn't even seem to know what she's doing, pushed by Viserys' last words about prophecy rather than SHEER DESIRE to get her hands dirty for her children's safety (which by the way will always be superior imo). The Green Council conspires behind her back, and on top of it all, she's yelled at by one of her own men and is made to take it like a beaten dog.
Moreover, we had Helaena's ROAST (yes it was a roast, my Queen inherited cunty lines from her cunty mother) against Aegon and her coronation, the latter being addressed as something quite wholesome, if you ask me. Alicent places her own crown upon her daughter's head and calls her "my Queen" after kissing her cheeks and kneeling. Afterwards, her and Alicent are literally written to be the only ones who could get through Aegon II's thick skull when he wanted to start the war right then and there as a result of Rhaenyra crowning herself on Dragonstone.
You hear me??? Aegon sat down and fucking listened to the two women in his life. Not the Council, them. These two were dogwalking him, the KING, on the daily, how is that sexist writing on the Maesters' part????
Yet these things are nowhere to be seen in Ryan Condal and Sara Hess' "progressive" show. We got beaten dog Alicent and Helaena being nothing but a walking spoiler machine other than yet another instrument to paint Aegon as the big bad wolf and usurper. Not a single scene of them counseling Aegon.
Baela and Rhaena have nearly no lines or scenes that don't show them in the presence of the Strongs. They are seemingly okay with anything Rhae throws their way because it's Rhae. The one and only scene about Baela openly speaking to her grandma about her wish to fight for Rhaenyra was deleted.
Meanwhile, Rhaenyra is stripped of her rage and thirst for vengeance, and instead made to negotiate for peace while in the books she was the one pushing to go to war first.
Can you tell me, again, how the fanfiction that is Hotd supposed to prove that they want to be "progressive" in contrast to the Maesters' "sexist" work, when literally all they do is whitewash Rhaenyra and sideline any woman who isn't her?
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kcrossvine-art · 1 year
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Heya folks n friends! Today on our LotR cooking series, we're going to be making something inspired by Mrs. Maggot, wife of Farmer Maggot. Originally we were going to do a cream of mushroom soup, but the idea of adding meat as a cheeky lil joke on their last names was too good to pass up. In my mind meat goes better with thin soups than creamy ones.
And thus Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew was born.
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew?” YOU MIGHT ASKFor the stew portion itself we're going to be using a hearty base, aiming for a layering of flavors. If you feel comfortable making a roux, feel free to do so, but I did not due to energy levels and thus the flour in this recipe is only used for searing the meat before its added to the pot.
Cubed beef
Flour
Peanut oil
Beef stock
Dried porcini mushrooms
Carrots, chopped
Onion, diced
Garlic, crushed
Scallion, chopped
Bay leaf
Salt and pepper
Ground red pepper
Cumin
Zatarins gumbo file
For the other mushrooms, were going to cook them separate and throw them in at the end (but they'll have friends to keep them company!!).
Cremini mushrooms, sliced
Half an onion
Carrots
Garlic
Salt and pepper
Thyme
Olive oil
This took about 4 hours in total. If you have a slow cooker itd probably be easier to use that, but as is isn't too bad either. I mostly worked on commission stuff in the kitchen in-between stirring. "The best food is the one you don't have to make, the second best food is the one you don't have to think while making."
AND, “what does Mrs. Maggots Meat 'N Mush Stew taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
HOT HOT HOT
Tastes like walking from the cold into the cramped but cozy bar your friend works at
Meat was so tender and juicy, melts in your mouth. Makes you cry
It wanst actually carmelization but the onions had a hint of tasting caramelized
Mushrooms- a strong umami flavor with a bit of smokeyness
Once you get that Perfect level of gumbo file, it just makes every other element stick out more
Like an energy booster for the ingredients
A spotlight on the bay leaf, and oils, and spices
. If you don't want to use beef, feel free to use vegetable stock instead and replace the cubes with strips of king oyster mushrooms. Exclude the flour but still cook them in the pan. . this isnt officially part of the recipe since im not sure itd be 'on theme', but feel free to start your rice cooker around the 3 hour mark so you can have some hot rice ready for serving as filler.
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When I was looking through food and food mentions in LotR, Mrs.Maggot just stook out to me. 'Queen amongst farmers wives' is both really sweet and a fuckin killer description. What a legend. I wanted to do something based on her and our two options were either beer, bacon or raw mushrooms. Beer while very appealing is also not something you can whip up in a day, while raw mushrooms have a chance of killing my beloved readers. I don't want to talk about me and bacons sordid past.
And so as praise to this funky farmer women, may you add this stew to your collection of potpie, lasagna, and roast recipes.
Did i mention i started my first grease fire when making this? Yeah. Don't cover any empty greased pan even if your intent is to keep water from splashing into it.
Anyway, this recipe is a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) The partner has already made me pledge to cook it again hehehe
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
2 lbs cubed beef
A little bit of flour to 'tumble' the meat in, in a bowl
Peanut oil to sear the beef, as needed
3 kilograms beef stock
28g dried porcini mushrooms
4 carrots, chopped
1 white onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 scallion branch, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
Ground red pepper to taste
Cumin to taste
3 bay leafs
A pinch of Zatarins gumbo file
Ingredients… . . TWO:
1 lb cremini mushrooms
Half of a white onion, diced
1 carrot, chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
Salt, pepper, and thyme to taste
Olive oil as needed to pan-fry
Method:
Put the porcini mushrooms into a bowl, add enough warm water to cover. Give them roughly 20 minutes, or until softened and the waters turned color.
Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.
Get a large pot with a lid, pour in your stock (or water and bouillon cubes). Pour in the porcinis and the mushroom water. Turn the burner to medium-high.
Add your bay leaves, carrots, onion, and garlic to the pot. Add extra salt if you'd like.
Tenderize and cut your beef into roughly 1 inch cubes.
In a small bowl, pour a handful of flour along with pepper, cumin, and ground red pepper. Mix until combined.
Lightly toss each cube of beef in the mixture, get a little coverage on each side.
Heat a frying pan to medium heat and add peanut oil. If using an electric stovetop it will take time to heat up.
Add some of your beef cubes to the pan, don't overcrowd it. Flip to check sides are a light brown with dark brown edges, its good for some pink/red to poke through.
Add beef cubes to the pot when done, careful of splashing.
Keep doing this in batches until all beef cubes are added. 
 Once the pot has reached a simmer, turn the heat down a few notches and cover.
Set a timer for 4 hours. Taste test every so often. Aim to stir the pot every 10-15 minutes.
(You can do steps 14-21 immediately or optionally wait a bit)
 Rinse and dry your cremini mushrooms.
Slice them vertically. Cut the carrots, onion, and garlic.
In a frying pan on medium-low heat, add olive oil, carrots, and onion. Keep the vegetables moving! When they start to change texture, add your cremini mushrooms.
Bring the pan up to medium heat. 
Once your mushrooms have cooked off the liquid inside, theyll start turning a deeper brown. Add the garlic. Keep! the! vegetables! Moving!
If the pan gets overcrowded, take some out and set it aside in a bowl. Smaller batches.
This process took roughly 15 minutes, but youll know its done once everything has a nice sear on it and the garlic is brown but not burnt. Add salt, pepper, and thyme to taste.
Set everything aside in a bowl.
Once the 4 hours are up the meat should be cooked all the way through and tender enough to pull apart. Strain the bay leaves out. Cut and add scallions. Add the bowl with cremini mushrooms.
Add a pinch of gumbo file to start, stir and taste test.
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spicyicetea · 11 months
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I decided to draw my Y/N with Skyward Sword Link, like I detailed in my last post.
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And I did also promise a oneshot so heh enjoy. I know @rainstops will enjoy this, dirty simp >:)
I can't let you leave
Skyward Sword!Link x Spirit!reader
Warnings: swearing•blood•smut•various kinks/breeding/virginity loss/etc that I've forgotten.
The Master Sword glowed with a lustre as the small Hylian woman landed on the ground beside the tall blonde. Zelda had hugged him right before running off to find her father. The S/C woman smiled at the sight, inspecting the blade on the man's back. He turned to her and she broke from her trance to look up at him.
“So, our journey together is over.”
“What?” the man’s eyes widened as the woman nodded.
“Master, there will be many reincarnations of you in the future. You must seal me back in the Master Sword so I may rest until I can aid them.”
“No,” he furrowed his brows while grabbing her wrist.
She frowned, understanding he must have been hesitant to say goodbye to such a powerful weapon. He pulled her behind him away from prying eyes as he grits his teeth. He wasn't saying goodbye to her yet, he couldn't. Due to having to save the world and that Zelda girl who likes him, he hardly enjoyed his time with his beloved. Of course, she was unaware of his devotion to her, but she would soon be aware.
Oh, how the gods must frown upon him now, betraying the love they had chosen for him for some common girl. He worshipped the ground she walked far more often than he ever cared for the fate of those around him. When she would get distracted by the world around her, she would never see him threatening people to get her anything she expressed interest in.
“Link! Look, this looks like your tunic! It's cute and... So expensive, Link we need to save your rupees for potions and bombs!” Y/N yelled, laughing awkwardly after noticing the high price.
Link can remember handing her his pouch of rupees and telling her to grab some potions for him while he held a blade to the shop owner's neck to get what she wanted. He can remember her excited face once she realized he had gotten it, clearly unaware of the blood he had to wipe from his sword mere moments before handing the dark blue tunic over. She twirled once putting it on, loving how she now looked like him, just without the green and the strange hat.
She was always his, she just hadn't realised it yet. The way he gave her that spare belt so he could watch her tunic cling to her curves as she patched him up after fights. How she would cook him food, worrying about him missing home and losing motivation, although watching her kneel over a fire roasting mushrooms while humming was all the motivation he needed. That adorable smile and little wiggles on his lap as she falls asleep in his arms, trying his hardest to control the throbbing in his pants as she mumbled in her sleep. They were basically already married, he watched her sleep and helped get the dried dirt off of her when she bathed, he was the only one who noticed how she adored helping the kids that ran up to her, thinking she was a goddess. At least those kids knew how the world should view her.
They were already together and she just hadn't realised. All she needed was a little hint. A nudge in the right direction.
The two slowed as Link looked to see no one was near. The shadows hid them perfectly between the two houses, neither of which occupied. Celebration was thriving in the town square as Zelda returned, leaving Link with the privacy he desired. Y/N raised a brow while looking up at him.
“Master, I understand that we've become friends during our journey, but you have your friend back now. I must be sealed back away, and this isn't near the resting site of the Master Sword...” She frowned, clearly also sad regarding the way everything had to turn out.
“No, you don't understand!” Link yelled, tugging his hat off and letting his blonde hair loose.
Y/N pouted and instinctively reached forward to play with his hair. Whenever he was stressed after a battle she would always play with his hair. He’d rest his face against her chest, or even just smother himself in her cleavage while she braided his hair. He bit his lip as her fingers ran through his hair. She tried to pull him into a hug like she always does but he just furrowed his brows and rested his forehead against hers, resisting her embrace.
“Link? Are you alright?” Y/N asks.
His hands flew to her hips as he pushed her against a wall. She squeaked in pain at the movement, looking up at him with a sort of concern. He looked down at her with an expression she had never seen before. His eyes dilated and focused on her. Lips parted as he panted.
“Link?”
One of his hands flew to grab her cheeks, tilting her head up to look at him properly as leant closer. Her eyes widened as she pressed herself against the wall to give him space, his knee forcing her legs apart to rest on the wall between her thighs.
“Why don't you understand?” he sighed.
“Understand? Oh, Link did I offend you at any point? Am I misreading your relationship with that Zelda? I just didn't want to assume that you two were romantic so I just said friends. I'm sorry-”
“No, not another word about that Zelda! Ugh.” he groaned. “You, why can't you just...”
“Just what? What's wrong?”
“Why can't you understand? I want you!”
“Want me? Like the Sword? I'm not actually the sword Link...” she chuckled before Link yanked her hair back gently and smashed his lips against hers.
She jumped slightly as his hand slid down to the hem of her tunic before sliding back up her thigh. He knew if he continued he'd lose control but it was so addicting. The way her soft thighs squished in his hand, and the delicate whimpers they earned pulled him further. It didn't take long until he pulled her hips closer to relax on his clothed knee, bouncing it lightly. She let out a gasp-like moan as his thigh bumped against her clit while his knee nestled against her delicate flower between her thighs.
He smirked watching her quickly flush red and become flustered as she moaned quietly. One of the many things he loved about her was her purity, innocence... lack of panties due to them being stuffed in his pocket the second day they were travelling together. He continued rubbing his knee over her slit as her eyes watered up and she grabbed at his tunic.
“Y/N, hey hey it's okay-”
“Link! Please, it feels so strange! Ah, please.” she moaned.
Link grinned and bit his lip, fumbling with his belt as she began bucking on his thigh. Her slick dribbled through his trousers as she continued to hump his leg like a hungry animal. He grinned watching her squirm, if only he had done this sooner. Her lips met his as she pulled him back into a kiss and he tugged his trousers down. His hands lifted her by her thighs and slammed her against the wall, biting her lower lip.
“Mph, Link. I feel so fuzzy... Please fix it.” She moaned, holding his shoulders to stay stable.
He gulped hearing her moans, feeling himself lose control. Y/N let out a whimper as he pulled her back into the kiss. She ran a hand into his messy hair as he pulled his pants down far enough for his cock to spring out of his boxers. Y/N sighed as she pulled out of the kiss, panting. Link chased her lips, kissing the tip of her nose while rubbing his thumbs in circles over her thighs. He hiked one of her legs up and over his shoulder, he back being pressed against the wall. Link licked his lips as he used his fingers to spread open her folds. She whimpered, not used to the foreign sensation.
“Ah! Link, what are you doing?”
“Shh, don't worry darling, I'm fixing the weird feeling, just like you asked me to.”
Y/N just whimpered as his tip pressed against her, Link fighting the urge to buck into her. He bit his lip as he pushed the head in and she let out a high moan. Her nails dug into her leg as she tries to not scratch him. Link just rubbed her hip, pressing kisses to her thigh as she struggled to take him.
“It's okay dear, just relax,” he cooed.
“Mph, it hurts,” she whined.
“God, I love you Y/N. Please don't leave me,” Link moaned and thrust the rest of the way in as Y/N moaned loudly.
Her whining only got louder as her walls stretched to fit him. Small tears rolled down her cheeks as his hips met her body and he stilled to let her adjust to him. Link moaned he began thrusting, his cock dragging against her walls. Her panting became louder as slick smeared over her thighs. As her moans became louder she threw her arms around his neck, biting her lip and trying to muffle her moans. Link grumbled angrily making his rutting harsher and she cried out.
“Dont muffle those sweet little noises! You're my goddess! Scream for me darling!” He moaned, biting her neck and speeding up his thrusts.
Her moans grew louder a small amounts of blood dribbled from the bite marks on her shoulder. The fear of her leaving him had still settled in his stomach, his desperation causing his thrusts to become hurried and aggressive.
“Mph! Link!”
“I'm not leaving you! I'm not letting you leave,” he growled. “I'm going to fill you up darling. Once you're nice and stuffed with my young you'll have to stay.”
Y/N threw her head back in pleasure, unsure where this sudden idea came from. He bit her neck repeatedly as her moans grew louder and she felt something inside her snap. She dug her nails into his shoulder as her cum smeared between the two sweaty bodies. He groaned feeling her gush and sank her teeth into her shoulder. Thick strings of his cum filled her tight hole, forming a creamy white ring around where their bodies met. The cum dribbled down from her hole. They wanted in unison as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Link... that... I still have to-”
“No, I'm not letting you leave me! You're mine, all mine.”
“Link.”
“NO! I don't care how much cum I need to pump you full of! You're my wife now, you don't get to just leave me cause that Zelda is safe.”
“LINK!” Y/N yells, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. “I don't want to leave you either.”
OKAY, IM DONE, this is my first ever time writing smut and it was kinda difficult- as I said earlier, you freaks better enjoy this. @rainstops I know you're a Link simp so enjoy lol.
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mushroomates · 5 months
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samwise gamgee headcanons:
enjoys doing the dishes and folding laundry
love language is quality time or acts of service
likes to give sprouts and seedlings to friends and neighbors
nerd about mushrooms and
keeps a hoard of ladybugs to deploy at any time
windowsill is lined with old jars and bottles, filled with clippings for propagation
he gives the best slices of pie and best baked cookies to others. will keep “defects” for himself- they taste just as good
favorite cookies are “everything but the kitchen sink” where he throws a bunch of stuff into the bowl (fruit, pretzels, nuts) and puts it into a cookie
has like 80 pillows on every couch/bed/chair
in addition to the 50-something blankets also piled high
“please, have a seat” he says. ha, no. any surface you could possibly settle onto is adorned with elaborate spreads of throws and such.
has a fruitcake that is legit an heirloom. it’s so stale it’s a brick. you can use it as a doorstop, stepping-stool, or a bludgeoning weapon. (note: has been used for all. he once chucked it at a late night visitor. this is how he learned frodo takes late walks at night. this is also how frodo learned that sam has an arm on him)
his great aunt made it forever ago and honestly he doesn’t know if it’s still good. he keeps it around because it’s been with him so long he feels bad throwing it out.
likes pecan pie! goes nuts (pun intended) for it.
roast his own chestnuts, pecans and walnuts. has a strange grudge against macadamia nuts. (almost choked on one as a child)
very cozy. has scarves and mittens and even slippers (GASP) at the ready
likes to watch the rain with a cup of tea for hours on end
takes his tea with honey, two sugars, and cream. it barely counts as tea.
enjoys bubble baths.
guerrilla gardening. sam is a force to be reckoned with on this front. he is a strong advocate for native plants and will gut someone over deforestation.
carries a salt shaker filled with seeds everywhere. kind of just. shakes it around empty plots of land.
has a hostile land grab once a month and slowly expands the baggin’s garden by an inch, until it takes up nearly the whole estate.
has a great misconception about the appropriate amount to discuss you garden with someone. this is because:
he tends to talk about this to frodo, who will listen, good naturedly
frodo also prevents anyone from talking over sam or changing the subject
most hobbits are to polite (passive aggressive) and don’t have the skills to subtly change the subject in a way sam understands
and if he does recognize the effort he will avoid it
likes to try new recipes but at the same time never follows them
knows a great deal about farming hemp. this is because merry and pippin recruited him into their pipeweed shenanigans and now sam has unintentionally created a strain of the good stuff that has hobbits traveling miles to get their hands on
loves his houseplants like children. they have names and backstory and a rich inner life that he has created that could fill a book
is fighting a battle with english ivy at the moment and only slightly loosing it. it’s suffocating the tree outside his house and he’s not very happy with it.
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dongfuck · 1 year
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First Snow - p.js
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pairing: boyf!jisung x fem!reader
genre: fluff, smut
warnings: very unrealistic food themes (jisung cooks), switch!reader, switch!jisung, unprotected sex, teasing, thigh riding (sorta), slight js!bratty sub, cunnilingus, fingering, degradation, overstimulation, edging, teasing, no pull out, squirting, slight boob play, aftercare
wc: 3.9k
note: this is simply very wholesome for me <3
taglist: @smuchsmut , @nctgirlok297 , @jenojammin , @johnniverse , @matchahyuck , @220513080208 , @ablackbtsstan , @tyongspice1
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You began dating Jisung in mid-May so you’ve never really spent winter with him as a couple. You’ve been anticipating your first snow with Jisung ever since he mentioned the things he wanted to do with you this winter. The both of you are currently seated by the fire in your shared house watching a baking show. Jisung’s really fond of baking shows and you’ve never really know why. Although, you aren’t complaining. You are a big fan of them as much as he is. Suddenly, you felt this urge to look out the window and so you did just that. Twisting your head slightly, you averted your gaze from the TV and that’s when you saw small specks of white falling from above.
Gasping audibly, you ran towards the window and watched the snow in awe. “Jisung!” you called out for your boyfriend who was too focused on the show to notice your enthusiasm. “Yep?” his eyes were still trained on the telly. “Jisung, its snowing!” you turned your body to face him before pointing out the window. Jisung’s eyes widened slightly as he walked to your side to watch the snow with you. “Wow…” a small smile was carved on his pretty lips. Staring at him, you placed a small peck to his right cheek. His eyes moved to to look at you before a hint of red was beginning to form on his cheeks. You smiled slightly at the sight before tugging on his sleeve.
“You wanna go outside?” you waited for a reply from him. He glanced you again and smiled softly. “Why not?” right then, he pulled you out of the living room and to the outside. You looked up a the sky and grinned happily as you tried catching snowflakes with your bare hands. “Wait. Don’t move. Let me picture this.” Jisung pulled out his phone from his right pocket before taking a few pictures of you. You probably spent about half an hour playing outside in the snow before deciding to stop seeing as you would probably freeze to death if you stayed out any longer. You walked back into the house with a cheery feeling blossoming in you. “Go take a shower. I’ll make dinner.” you boyfriend rubbed your back comfortingly. “Really? Thank you, Ji. Just make sure not to burn the kitchen down.” the both of you laughed after he assured you that no flames will be seen tonight.
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You chose to wear a simple sweater paired with some black tights. Putting on some light makeup, you finished off your look with a nude coloured lipstick and a layer of lip gloss. After spraying on your favourite perfume, you stepped out of the room and waited for Jisung to finish showering in the living room. He entered the shower a while after you did so you’re assuming that his dinner is done. About ten minutes later, you heard footsteps coming down the stairs along with a soft singing of EXO-K’s ‘First Snow’. “Hey.” Jisung tapped your shoulder from behind as he flashed his signature gummy smile which you blushed slightly at.
“Let’s eat.” he walked over to your side of the sofa before pulling you towards the dining room. You stared at the food served in utter shock. There were roasted chicken, baked Mac N Cheese, mashed potatoes and mushroom soup. All party-sized. “Woah, Jisung… I appreciate you making dinner for us but isn’t this a little too much for just two people?” you questioned him. “Who said we’re going to be the only ones?” just then, a loud “Surprise!” was heard from behind you as a few of your friends walked out. “What the fuck—” you grinned happily at them as you yelled out, “I missed you guys!” before hugging the one closest to you, which just so happens to be Chenle.
“Hey, hey, hey, no touching please.” Jisung pulled you and Chenle away from each other before gesturing for all of them to take a seat. The lot of you spent most of your time talking rather than eating and before you know it, it’s already half past nine. As you were chatting with the guys, an unexpected question makes both you and Jisung choke on your food. “When are you guys getting married?” Mark asked before shoving a spoonful of Mac N Cheese into his mouth. After you’ve calmed yourself down, you patted Jisung’s back to soothe his coughing. “Hyung… We’re still young…” Jisung cleared his throat. “I mean you never know. Anything can happen.” Mark shrugged before the whole room erupted into a fit of laughter.
Out of the blue, Jeno stood up from his seat and smiled lightly. “I have an announcement to make.” he said. Everyone took glances at each other before their gaze drifted back to Jeno. “I have a girlfriend.” Gasps were heard all around the room since Jeno hadn’t dated anyone for the past two years. “Damn, I really thought you lost your game.” Haechan teased. “Shut the fuck up, Donghyuck.” Jaemin glared at the mentioned boy after receiving an annoying smirk from him. “Oh my God! How long have you been dating her?” you spoke with excitement.
“For about a month now.”
“And you just told us now?!”
“What’s her name?” Renjun asked as he sipped on his juice. “Kwon Sera. We met at the clinic I work at.” he said proudly. “Do you have a picture of her?” Chenle looked just as excited as everyone in the room. “Yeah, I do actually. Here’s a picture of us together.” he then pulled out his phone from his back pocket and began scrolling through his photos before finally picking one to show. “Dang, she’s pretty.” complimented Haechan. “Hey. She’s Jeno’s.” you said sternly. “I know, I know. Chill woman.” Haechan replied. After a few rounds of questions and answers, you guys were settled in a circle in the living room.
A game of Never Have I Ever was played.
“Never have I ever… peed and it got all over the place.” All of the boys closed a finger and you cringed visibly. “Disgusting.” you shivered dramatically. “It’s natural!” Haechan defended himself. “Maybe for you!” you continued. “Never have I ever not shower for a whole week.” Jisung interrupted the two of you. Chenle was the only one who had his second finger closed and you all turned to look at him with disbelief. “What? I’m saving water!” Chenle shrugged at the rest of you. “Please tell me you showered before you came here.” Jaemin looked at him expectantly. “What do you think I am? Of course I showered!” Chenle rolled his eyes playfully.
“Okay, um… Never have I ever… kissed a person of the same gender.” A few of you closed a finger. Specifically Jaemin, you, and Haechan. “You have?!” Jisung yelled in shock when he noticed you have a finger closed. “I was 17, okay! It was an accident anyways.” you reassured your boyfriend. “I hope it was.” Jisung placed a firm hand on your right thigh. “Mine wasn’t.” Haechan smiled smugly. “No one’s talking to you.” almost everyone in the room snapped at him with a playful glare. “Fine! Jesus, why is everyone against me today.” he shook his head side to side. “My turn! Never have I ever… wished for someone’s downfall.” Chenle smiled happily. Yours, Haechan’s, and Renjun’s finger were closed. “I know y’all aren’t that nice.” Renjun glared at the rest. “Too bad, we are.” Jaemin smiled innocently. “Mark, you’re quiet. Why don’t you give it a go.” Jeno nudged his friend’s shoulder. “Um… Never have I ever, got rejected.” Jaemin unfortunately, had his finger closed.
You guys looked at him in shock. Why would anyone reject someone as charming as Jaemin? “Before you ask, yes, I’ve been rejected before. It was in 10th grade. I had a crush on this girl that was in the class next to mine. We’ve never really spoken to each other before but I finally decided to confess to her. That’s when she laughed in my face and told me how much of a joke I was thinking that someone so out of my league would accept me before taking off. It hurt. Bad. But i’m over it.” Jaemin placed an upside-down smile on his face as his gaze drifted to you. “Damn it, Mark why you gotta ask something like that.” it was faintly heard but you were sure it came from Jeno. “Jaemin… I’m so sorry.” you bit your lower lip gently as the feeling of guilt began rising in you.
“Don’t be. I-It wasn’t your fault…” he fiddled with his finger nervously. “Okay um why don’t we continue the game. I don’t want this to ruin the mood.” Jaemin added. “Right. Who wants to go next?” Mark said. A few minutes passed and it was time for the boys to go home. “Thank you for tonight. We had loads of fun. We’ll see you on Christmas?” Jeno represented the boys to speak. “Thank you for coming too. Definitely looking forward to Christmas. Jisung grinned at them as he slid an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him.
“Happy holidays, lovebirds.”
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You sat down at the edge of the bed before laying your back on it. Sighing, you heard the door to your room being opened and closed. “God, I’m so tired. Jisung joined you on the bed by laying down next to you. “So am I.” you twisted your head slightly to look at the boy beside you just to see him with his eyes closed and arms spread out. The edge of your lips curved into a small smile at the sight before you went over to him and hugged him by the waist. His body twitched slightly in shock but calmed down afterwards when he realised it was just you.
“You’re freezing.” Jisung wrapped his arms around your body as he hugged you tight. “Jisung…” you said into his chest before you felt him him against you. “I miss spending time with you like this. Just the two of us.” you can hear a soft laugh coming from the man above you. “Have I not spent enough time with you sweetheart?” Jisung caressed the top of your head slowly. “It’s not that… It’s just that we’ve been really busy lately and when we do spend time together, it’s mostly spent with friends or family. It’s like we don’t have time for each other anymore.” you confessed. It’s not like you weren’t telling the truth or anything.
There was a sigh heard from Jisung and you knew he couldn’t help but agree. “I’m trying, sweetheart. I really am. And I’m sorry you feel that way.” his voice was a hushed whisper but it was still loud enough for your ears. “But I think I know a way I can make it up to you.” you lifted your head to meet his eyes before furrowing your brows at his statement. “What do you mean?” A subtle smirk crawled its way up Jisung’s face and only then you knew what he meant by ‘making up to you’ “Sung!” you hit his shoulder lightly and laughed along with him. “What? What were you thinking?” he teased. “Ugh, shut up.” you rolled your eyes playfully at him.
“But I mean like… Don’t you want to? his gaze changed and in a blink of an eye, he was already on top of you. “Jisung…” you said nervously. “Please?” he asked with a soft gaze. Biting your lower lip softly, you nodded slowly before pulling him into a loving kiss. His right hand moved under your sweater as the other roamed your upper body. Without you noticing, he had unclasped your bra and began massaging your breasts. “Fuck.” you pulled away from the kiss for air before staring into his eyes. Pulling his top over his head, you grazed his bare chest gently and placed wet kisses to his toned abs. “Now that’s just unfair, innit?” Jisung reached the hem of your sweater before taking it off of you as you giggled quietly. Subconsciously, your hand that was on his body reached the zipper of his pants.
“Want me to take it off?” you said teasingly as you played with the hem of his boxers. “Please do.” Jisung physically shivered when you traced the print of his dick on his red boxers. “And why should I listen to you?” you looked up to meet his eyes innocently and the way his brown hair hung from his face has you squirming under him. “‘Cause if you don’t I’m gonna blow your brains off.” his eyes opened and he’d almost intimidate you if it wasn’t for the fact that this was Jisung you’re talking about. “Are you now? You’re a big boy now aren’t you?” you smiled softly with a pat of his head. You were suspicious of why he wasn’t replying or biting back but that’s when you noticed him grinding his crotch on the bed.
The sight was hot, to be completely honest. But you wouldn’t admit that to him so you simply pinched his chin and made him look at you in the eye. “You think I wouldn’t notice you whoring in front of me?” you raised a brow in anticipation. “Don’t care.” he continued his movements once again and that’s when you lost it. Taking advantage of his daze, you quickly flipped him over so you were on top. “Hey— What the fuck??” Jisung tried to get a hold of you but his attempts only went so far before he had his arms pinned above his head. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” he sounded as if he was warning you but you couldn’t care less.
“Oh, but I do.” not wanting to hear any more of his whines and complaints, you sealed your lips with his in a heated kiss. You could feel his tongue prodding at your sealed lips but you aren’t the one to give in without a fight. Parting your lips slightly, you allowed his tongue to barely fit in you before you sucked on the pink muscle desperately. Though it wasn’t visible to the human eye, you were sure he was loving every single second of it. He tried to wiggle his tongue out of you but you were sucking on it so hard that he couldn’t help but comply. Unconsciously, your hands that were holding him up began loosening and without you noticing, he’s already got his hands wrapped around waist firmly.
You moaned into the kiss as you pressed your hips closer to his crotch to gain some sort of friction between your bodies. Jisung seemed to notice this when he began rocking your hips on his as strings of curses and groans left his mouth. “Shit I-I’m not gonna f-fucking cum like this.” he released the kiss with a string of saliva connecting the both of you as his eyes shut and yours trailed to where your bodies were meeting. “Fuck I need to taste you.” Jisung’s eyes snapped open before he frantically tried to take off your tights which didn’t seem to come off. Giggling slightly, you ran a hand through his hair and got off him slowly. “It’s not the easiest to take off.” you shimmied out of the clothing and got back on the bed without breaking eye contact.
Wanting to tease him a little more, you sat down on his upper thigh right next to his obvious bulge (on his boxers) with your bare pussy before starting to rock your hips at a slow pace. “Mmh Y/n… Y/n, please… Please let me—” you rolled your eyes and took a finger to his lips to shut up. “You do what I say.” your tone was warning and adamant and he seemed to give up but you knew it was all pretend. He was gonna pounce on you sooner or later. But for now, you just wanna enjoy being the one in control. It’s not a very common occurrence you know. Moving your hips faster, you leaned your body towards Jisung a little more and held his shoulders for support. “Fuck, Sung…” you whimpered out. It didn’t take long for you to finally cum on him, leaving stains of white on his favourite pair of underwear.
“You should’ve did that in my mouth.” said Jisung as he gaped at the sight in front of him. “Stop it or I actually might.” you looked at him with lustful eyes and he seemed to read your mind. “Try me.” you muttered a small ‘fuck you’ to him before aligning your aching pussy to his awaiting lips. “Let’s see if you can take me.” you bit your lower lip softly. “Oh please, like it’s my first time.” he smirked before placing a quick peck on your lips (those lips) and devouring you whole. His lips sucked on your clit as he teased his fingers around your hole. Throwing your head back, you took your right hand and gripped his hair as hard as you could when you felt him enter two fingers into you. “Yeah, right there.” you were trying your absolute hardest to keep your noises in but unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy. In fact, you saw that as an advantage to piss Jisung off a little more.
“Fuck— Is that the best you c-can do? I can do that on my o-own.” you rolled your eyes in annoyance and after the little push you gave him, you heard him scoff under you before working both his mouth and fingers to the absolute fullest. “Fucking hell, Jisung!” once again, you came into his mouth without a warning but he didn’t seem to be stopping his movements. “Sung, s-stop…” you attempted to push him away but he wouldn’t budge. Not even a little bit. His tongue licked a long stripe across your swollen pussy and you felt like you were gonna pass out at that moment. Who knew Jisung could be this cruel? Right as you were at the brink on your second orgasm, your boyfriend seemed to notice it because he immediately lets go of your heat with a delicious ‘pop!’
He didn’t seem—or just pretended not—to notice the glare you gave him before stripping off his last item of clothing and having you under him. “I think it’s my turn to have some fun.” Jisung gave a small peck to your lips as he stroked his dick to warm him up with his saliva. Teasing your clit with the tip of his cock, he smirked when a whine escaped your throat, “Just fuck me already.” you threw your head back in slight annoyance after having to wait for what feels like a decade. “As you wish.” gripping your shoulder for support, Jisung slowly slid himself into you halfway with a shaky moan. “Fuck…” he bit his lip in frustration as he pulled out all the way (to which you moaned incredibly loud at) before fucking back into you, this time with more confidence.
Sighing desperately, Jisung slowly started to move in and out of you easily. Your chest heaved up and down with the feeling of your boyfriend’s cock fitting inside you so well. When the base of his length kissed your entrance, you unintentionally clenched hardly against him. “Shit— Don’t do that.” he said warningly with a glare sent to you. “Do what? This?” you squeezed him once again and you could feel him twitch inside of you. He had his eyes shut and to torture him a little more, you moved your hips on his length with teasing glint in your eyes. His breathing was beginning to get heavier and unsteady and you couldn’t help but let out a desperate moan at the sight.
At that. Jisung snapped his eyes opened and leaned forward so his lips could meet your ear and whisper, “You’re getting on my nerves.” before ruthlessly rutting his hips into you without a care for the world. He lifted his head to meet your eyes and you saw the way his sweat dripped from his forehead to your chest and rolled down to where he was completely ruining you. You let out a dragged moan at the euphoric feeling and you felt like you could cum anytime soon. Right then, Jisung pulled out of you abruptly before you looked at him with furrowed brows. “Excuse me, what the actual fuck?” you said with your voice slightly raised.
“I wanna see something.” he took his right hand and used it to massage your wet heat with his pre-cum before plunging his middle and ring finger into you. His hand movements were just as merciless as his thrusts from earlier and this time you felt something different bubbling inside you. It’s a mixture of wanting to pee and wanting to orgasm. You screamed loudly when his fingers abused that spot inside you and right then, hot liquid started flowing out of you. Did you just pee? Or is it something else? “I needed this.” you heard Jisung mutter under his breath and just a few moments later after he pulled his fingers away from you in a split second, you felt like you just gave birth. You’d squirted all over your boyfriend, yourself, and the sheets and you couldn’t have felt more embarrassed than this. “That was a good one, baby.”
He didn’t give you time to gather yourself before another question left his mouth, “Wanna try another one?” he raised his eyebrows. “Hell no.” you shook your head side to side with droopy eyes. “Awh, you can’t get tired already. I haven’t even had my fun yet.” he pouted mockingly. “Can you just let me… catch my breath for a second?” you said between heavy breaths. “Not a chance.” and there it was again. The feeling of being stuffed to the brim as he thrusted into you with the speed of 10 thrusts/s. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you could feel your fourth orgasm reaching its peak. A string of curses and groans left both of your throats and within a few seconds you both came at the exact same time with a long moan.
Laying down next to you, Jisung wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed the top of your head. “We should do this more often.” he rubbed circles onto your backside to which you clenched against him as a reply. “You— You never really learn your—” before he could finish whatever he was trying to say, you quickly lifted your head and pecked him on to the cheek with a smile. “Merry Christmas, Jisung.” you hugged him tightly. “It’s still earl—” once again you clenched against him tighter than before to shut him up. “M-Merry Christmas, Y/n.”
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jisung I swear—
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dungeondaily · 25 days
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Dungeon Menu: April 4
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"Memories of the Fifth Floor" Pilaf, "The Whole Fifth Floor" Piccata, Sweet Dryad, Risotto with Mushrooms Picked in a Graveyard and Cheese from the Orcs, Field Ration Pellet (Izutsumi), Roasted Walking Mushroom (Kabru and Mithrun)
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Can we finally get that night nurse and Jason’s first date? New Years steak anyone? I feel like Jason would bring a grill to cook on her fire escape.
"What are you doing?"
Jason looks up from the cutting board where he's dicing mushrooms for stuffing and smiles a little, "Making dinner-"
"I see that I just- why?"
"Because you need to eat a real meal," he said smiling a little. "And because you're still healing and not taking good care of-"
You scoff softly and rub your eyes with your sleeve, "I'm fine. I'm just-" You trail off and Jason sets the knife down and walks around the counter to tilt your chin up, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.
"Come eat with me?" he coaxed. "Let me make you something to eat and let me feel like I'm helping okay?"
"Jason," you protest, "I'm fine."
"I promised to come when you needed me," he said softly, kissing your nose. "And I didn't get here before-"
"That's not your fault," you point out, wrapping your arms around his waist. Not sure why you want to comfort him when you should be angry at him for doing that to Alex.
"I should have put a stop to it sooner," Jason growled, wrapping his arms around you carefully.
"But-"
"But I didn't," he sighed, "And now all I can do is feed you dinner and make sure you don't lose any sleep over it." He exhaled slowly. Biting back the "I love you" he could feel in his mouth. You didn't need the burden of his feelings. He didn't want you to feel obligated.
He wanted to love you because you did. Because he made you feel safe. And loved. And cared for. And because you cared for him as more than a patient. Or a friend.
"What are you cooking?" you ask, relenting, even if you don't want to let go of him yet.
"Pork chops with mushroom stuffing, roasted Brussels sprouts, and a cherry cheesecake- there's white wine in the fridge too."
"Jay-"
"I like to cook," he explained, smiling a little. "And who else would I cook for? My Family?" e snorted, mock teasing and kissed your forehead, "No thanks. A pretty girl who can put stitches in my thigh while passionately defending YA novels as a legitimate art? Any day of the week."
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bomberqueen17 · 3 months
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noodle bowl recipe/technique
When I'm not at the farm it's always a struggle to eat as many vegetables as my body wants me to eat. Like it's just confusing to go out and buy vegetables when you're really used to just kind of going to the walk-in cooler and being like "ok what have we got too much left over of, time to Eat That", and I need to overcome this by having a recipe in mind beforehand but one I can adapt if they don't have the thing I'm thinking of at the store. So I'm trying to collect not recipes so much as techniques, because I have this problem where it's hard for me to follow a recipe because I accidentally skip reading the middle of it. Ha.
(I saw a good post about how "measure that shit with your heart" is misleading and like, mood. I am a very experienced cook but I have attention problems and can't follow a recipe if I'm tired or distracted or in pain. So I'm trying to link to real everything is measured for you recipes where I can, so if you haven't made this before and don't know what it should look like, you've got a tested version with proper amounts to start with. Just like I do! And then once I have the technique down, and the relative amounts, I'm sharing my method, which is less so on the measuring and more on my mother's technique, which is "you put in enough and then cook it until it is done", which when I was new was so frustrating, but now that I am old, I know it is 100% based on practice. And that's all, there's no mystery, it's just "I've made it before and I know how it should look so you just make it look like that." Now that I can't reliably read a whole recipe and not miss a big whack of the middle of it, I rely so much on having practiced and generally knowing what things look like when they're "right". But it's not magic and I'm not measuring with my heart I'm measuring with my practiced eye and hand.)
Anyway. Rice bowls or noodle bowls are a fantastic way to just throw a bunch of vegetables into a nice yummy sauce over a good comforting starch and have that be a meal. I tend to do a noodle bowl, and then any left over ingredients get incorporated into a fried rice scramble thing later, so you can keep that in mind if you want to try this.
I found this recipe for butternut squash mushroom noodle bowls. And I tried it as written, and it wasn't bad, but for me, roasting everything in the oven was very hard to time and didn't turn out fantastically well. YMMV, but I have more experience sauteeing things. (My first attempt I also used bok choy instead of spinach so I roasted it separately on another sheet pan according to a technique I've done before for roasted bok choy; this approach would probably work just fine if you were paying more attention than I was; my main issue was that noodle bowl recipe linked above gives far too little time for the butternut squash to roast so mine was unpleasantly crunchy. It's wrong, give it longer, and so I found it best to just not try to squeeze anything else onto the sheet with it as that recipe directs.)
So I changed it up for a second try.
First thing I did was peel the butternut squash with a vegetable peeler (I find it easiest to do this if I kinda cut it in half crosswise first), then scoop out and set aside the squash guts, then cube the thing up and roast it on a sheet pan, drizzled with peanut oil and salt and set at 400.
That's gonna take like 45 minutes or so, so I set most of my timing around that. Check the directions on your noodles or whatever, figure out what order you've got to do those in. (Soba are best for the protein, but I had rice noodles and they needed a pre-soak and it messed up my timing, which is why I'm making this note here.)
dice an onion. preheat skillet, add oil, begin to sautee onions.
rinse and prepare bok choi or other green of choice.
when the squash is part of the way cooked (like 25 minutes or so, give it a stir and check it to see if it's softening at all), take the seeds you set aside. separate them from the guts (I squeeze them with my fingers out of the assorted gut-fibers, works pretty well), spread in single layer on small baking sheet. turn oven down to 350. drizzle seeds with sesame oil and a tiny bit of salt. put them in the oven for like ten to fifteen minutes. (Turning the heat down is my attempt to have them not pop and fly all over the oven. IDK if it'll work. Be prepared to wipe seeds out of your oven tomorrow morning. They're not messy at least they just fly everywhere.)
Now throw your mushrooms and some diced garlic into your onions and saute. Add the bok choi or spinach or kale or whatever as you're stirring. Cook it all down.
Now make your sauce-- I did not measure anything this go-round, I just grated a bunch of ginger (I keep my ginger root in the fridge and it's easy to microplane off whatever you need) into a wee prep bowl, then added soy sauce, some honey, a couple spoonfuls of water from the boiling noodles to melt the honey and clean the spoon, and then a spoonful or two of chili crisp ("happy lady sauce" [lao gan ma]) because i don't stock sriracha currently.
When your noodles are ready, turn the oven off. Drain the noodles and divide them into your serving bowls, top with squash, add sauteed veg, squash seeds, the sauce. top with sesame seeds.
This was awesome, and I have leftover cooked squash cubes I'm gonna put into another recipe later cuz if you're gonna roast a butternut you might as well roast a pretty big one. I particularly like using the squash seeds because they're so tasty and crunchy and deserve to be eaten rather than thrown out.
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copperbadge · 1 year
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It’s Restaurant Week in Chicago! A friend organized a dinner out for a couple of us at Untitled Supper Club, a speakeasy-themed joint I’ve been wanting to try. It has a bar with a library ladder, naked ladies on the wallpaper, and a spectacular chandelier -- and the food’s pretty good too. 
We had a four-course meal beginning with burrata with truffle honey on a bed of whiskey-roasted grapes, then my friends had oysters while I had the lemon caesar salad; pictured is my entree, lasagne with wild mushrooms and braised leeks, while others got the amish roast chicken or grilled rack of lamb. For dessert we had apple pie cheesecake with dried apple chips, spiced apples in sauce, and vanilla bourbon gelato. 
I don’t think it’s somewhere I’d go regularly for a meal, because it’s a bit fancy both in food and decor, but the food was exceptional and I got a nice compliment on my pineapple-print shirt and currently-pink hair from the extremely fashionable host. 
I took an Adderall before the meal so I felt really good being able to relax and socialize without worrying that I’d spend the next few days replaying all of the awkward things I said; this morning I’m only remembering good stuff, like one person recounting a tale of Trivia Game Hacking and another telling me “It’s okay we’ve derailed the story I was telling, that’s how conversation works!”
And then I walked home with Auntie A, because it was a cold but pleasant night out, and we got to talk about our writing work. Then I came upstairs and got to sit on the sofa and unwind with this. 
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So it was a really nice night. 
[ID: Up top, five images. Top left, a bar, three shelves of liquor stretching up to about a 20ft ceiling, with a bartender climbing a ladder to get to the top shelf. Top right, a close-up of the wallpaper featuring topless women in high heels dancing with feathers. Middle left, a plate of lasagne, noodles wrapped in circles around mushrooms and cheese, sitting on a bed of bechamel sauce; middle right, a fantastic feathered chandelier floats above the heads of other diners in a room lined with green panels. Bottom, a slice of cheesecake with gelato and spiced apples on top. Finally, a sixth image of Dearborn the tortie, lying on her back on a blanket, gazing up at the camera adorably.]
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