mushroomates

[mushroomates]

lil doodle.very simple cuz i just wanted to get him out of my head for now

gimli headcanons:

likes doing laundry. finds it soothing

history nerd!! loves reading old tombs/biographies of his ancestors

is incredibly intelligent. beats frodo in chess. would beat gandalf but gandalf cheats. has been in a stalemate with aragorn for two and a half years.

well mannered but chooses to forgo his politeness to make a point. especially around elves.

does NOT like horses. not just riding them, which is canon, but actually dislikes the animal itself. the reasons why include (but are not limited to) :

he does not like being not on ground. he does not have a fear of heights so much as a fear of… feet not on ground. as evidenced by refusal to jump, treehouses, and well, horses

he does not like their faces. they are long and have eyes on the side like prey. gimli thinks this is deceiving as horses are very large and can kick in someone’s skull. not his skull.

gimli believes that in a one on one match with a horse, he could easily win. he has thought of several, very specific, scenarios of this and has a detailed plan of attack should this situation occur.

they so easily turned against their home for an evil overlord (read: sauron stole all the black horses from rohan) and therefore cannot be trusted. as a rule, anything that willing you let you ride it cannot be trusted. they can’t be satisfied with this life. they are plotting something.

believes he would be great at drums. it’s just hitting things hard and he’s pretty strong.

ok, another thing about horses: they are fragile to a ridiculous extent. you breath wrong and it breaks. they have bad bones and bad blood flow in their legs, and their legs are all that they’re used for. he doesn’t understand why humans invested so much time into horses when they’re genetically bad at what they are meant to do. he’d feel bad for the horses if they weren’t so awful.

drinks coffee, not tea

takes great with the up keeping of his gear. he sharpens his axes, polishes his boots, shines his armor and waxes his mustache. that’s not gear, but he takes great pride in looking groomed and caring for his belongings.

has an axe for every occasion. battle axe? do you want throwing or slashing. a day on the town? have you seen this intricately carved masterpiece that also is a weapon? doffing a hole? PICKAXE. cutting a cake? how about an axe???

hates the rain because it ruins his hair and beard. also loves the rain because it ruins legolas’s hair and clothes.

will eat anything. has a great tolerance for spice. contrary to popular belief, dwarves are not shy of seasoning but are very cautious around other races in fear of poisoning their friends

will also eat some rocks. salty is his favorite (halite, hanksite, glauberite) but also likes to add chunks of chalcanthite to his food for a slightly sweet yet metalic flavor. this is also slightly (SLIGHTLY) poisonous as evidenced by sharing his trail mix with boromir

also calls dirt the “local seasoning”

will taste dirt to try and get a feeling for the land. this tells him the acidity, weather, possible wildlife, and also pisses off legolas

actaully genuinely likes the taste of dirt. (note: if you desire to eat clay/dirt that is a symptom of iron deficiency. for gimli, he eats spoonfuls of the stuff like their supplements because as a kid it was fed to him like multivitamins)

OK SO HEAR ME OUT: lack of sunlight can cause really low hemoglobin and ferritin (a blood protein that contains iron) sooo being constantly in dark caves can cause some forms of iron deficiency. because dwarves are conscious of their young, dwarf children often grow up not often being in direct sunlight.

the solution? dirt. dirt contains iron and other tasty minerals that are good for the body. charcoal has natural antioxidants. so does clay. am i saying that momma gimli (unnamed) fed her son ash and clumps of dirt? yes. also bits of broken pottery. it’s also good of the immune system.

fr tho clay/dirt/charcoal are the dwarven multivitamins. you have a tummy-ache? here, have a rock. i truly believe this was scientifically proven by dwarves and only FOR dwarves (plz do not eat dirt)

fuckin loves mushrooms. has a mushroom log at home. whenever dwarves find some fungai in a cave they go feral

likes dogs. thinks it’s great that they dig holes. thinks it’s fantastic that the bury things in holes. absolutes loves when they get muddy, and then shake off all water and dirt all over you.

when he came back home with the name lockbearer, a lot of the dwarves thought it was really cool and he has some sort of elven puzzle that requires a code to unlock something. imagine their surprise when he rocks up and is like: no, even better. HAIRS. three of them.

enjoys making mudpies- made them as a kid with his cousins, (mostly with rock slurry) and continues to, even even as an adult.

made them on the fellowship with the hobbits. taught them all about the best types of dirt and the water-to-soil- ratio needed.

while cutting up slices of his pie, he offered one to boromir, who in good nature, took it, clearly thinking it was just part of the bit.

poor boromir was locked in a stalemate after gimli cut his own slice, and began eating it.

to his credit, boromir did brave a few bites, but had to stop once he nearly had a mouthful of maggots

“protein”

gimli is like crazy good at hair. can braid quickly and efficiently in elaborate styles

picked up eleven hair style techniques in lorien (quicker than legolas) and was forced to relay them to the elf through twine as there is no way he’s letting grubby elf fingers to touch his glorious mane that’s been decades in the making

would ask for a drink “on the rocks” and get slightly upset if it did not come back with actual rocks

#gimli #lotr gimli #my art #fellowship doodle

[mushroomates]

merry headcanons

as a child, he sincerely believed he could talk to cats. this ended at age 13.

can do cartwheels. pippin cannot. this is brought up in arguments more frequently that imagined

has a filter, contrary to some of what he says. he also acts as pippins filter

possesses an uncanny ability to sniff out weed. can tell the quality of such by smell alone. can also tell you where it may have come from, and how it was grown

has a small patch of cannabis growing in a back room of his estate. it used to be a sunroom but is now a greenhouse/weed lab.

merry religiously documents it’s growth, soil conditions, exposure to light, and most importantly: potentness

unfortunately this has manifested in a very strong but unpleasant tasting plant. this sort is hearty, can grow under any conditions, but really just tastes/smells. absolutely awful.

he did try and recruit sam into helping him until sam realized what was going on and wanted “no business in such a practice”

uses samples saved from the whole Saruman takedown and propagates what he can. also keeps some for comparison. he is very organized with this and has a whole spreadsheet he references frequently

merry also likes to know where everything is at all times. he’s not super weird about it but everything does have its place and he will know if you move it

got into furniture making. makes. questionable, ‘innovative’ ‘contemporary’ and ‘unique’ pieces

in reality it’s because he likes to make chairs that specifically make people want to leave because of how uncomfortable they are

like. he loves his family. but sometimes the get the squeaky chair. there’s a table with one leg slightly smaller than the rest that makes everyone uneasy. a couch that is just too low to the ground and cushy, so that you sink in but your legs are cramped. there’s a chair with the back curved slightly to steep, so when someone sits in it their posture is terrible. it also has a shorter than normal seat so you can’t scoot forward either

it’s not torture. people can endure it. it’s just mean to make sure no one does for very long.

this set is strategically in the foyer, so if he likes you well enough you’re granted entity into the living room with normal furniture. which is very tastefully decorated and has framed artwork of his many nieces and nephews.

he absolutely adores the littlest members of the shire and will spoil them however he can

draws maps of the most absurd things. just. maps that no one even asked for but are delightfully absurd

“directions to bag end, avoiding all dogs, aunts, sheep and red mail boxes” “brandybuck estate, but only the trees” “every pub in the shire, and who to avoid on your way back from a good time”

and, famously, “pippins brain”

this is a circle, and in it, two singular dots

one saying “pipe weed” and the other “bad ideas”

there use to be a third dot, that said “lack of cart wheels” but that has been a angerly scribbled out (culprit still a ‘mystery’ )

decent navigational skills

of course, no one listens to him.

judges the annual pie contest

is actually. really good at it. has a very defined palette dispute the copious amount of weed he smokes

“is that rubarb? it adds a wonderful complexity to the strawberry and pistachio- though, i’d recommend not using molasses next time; instead try brown sugar.”

like. merry. why do you know these things.

also judges the pie EATING contest. this is because there is a scandalous amount of cheating and he was part of a huge pie-in-the-trousers bust and now sits in the jury as an esteemed member

pippin thinks he’s a traitor to the cause. this is also because pippin was a primary perpetrator in said pie-in-the-trousers bust.

has two pet rabbits. by pets i mean fellow members of the “raiding farmer maggots crops” club, who he saved from a few rodent traps and took home

merrys morals, to recap, does not allow him to permit pie-crimes, but he is totally okay with casual thievery

did not have the heart to said rabbits as they were cut from the same cloth. he let them out the back yard once he got home and they just. kind of. stayed

their names are gandalf and gandalf because ones gray and ones white

is a great babysitter. mature enough to not get into trouble but still has a childish sense of adventure, and lots of stories

he is the trusted fun uncle. pippin being the reckless fun uncle.

he acts then out more than tells them to the kids, as his way with words is not so great as his way with sound effects.

also makes his own sock puppets and will occasionally put on small shows for the kiddos during family gatherings. fan favorites are “merry takes down the witch-king” “the march of the ents” and “the hobbit who couldn’t cartwheel” (the last ends with the hobbit simply learns to accept that everyone has different talents- something not true to life because pippin still hasn’t accepted this)

is high key very smart. doesn’t do a lot with this. he prefers to enjoy the simple things in life, and has found that so long as he makes sure he and his are looked after, life can be very easy.

that being said. he is not as care free as he’d like to be

is very prepared and well organized. has rations for days and a go-bag, even in his later years. everyone mocked him for years but it took him maybe ten minutes to grab everything and join up with frodo and sam. he also has extra go-bags, which is why it only took pippin 15 minutes (an extra five because pippin lost his bag about two seconds after merry gave it to him)

merry got the “anxiety” hobbit gene that manifests in being (only slightly) a prepper. there’s cans of beans and fruit as well as bottled water hidden in the cellar of the brandy-buck estate. enough food to last nearly five years, but for a hobbit, three.

this gives him peace of mind, as he knows he is prepared for whatever life gives him

he also knows he has braved many things before and anything that may come now will be significantly less of a hardship

he will never have to face down another witch-king, or more importantly, go without second breakfast

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #lotr #lotr headcanons #merry and pippin #merry brandy buck #merry brandybuck #meridoc brandybuck #peregrin took #pippin took #frodo baggins #samwise gamgee #sam gamgee #the shire #hobbits #hobbit #middle earth #the fellowship #the fellowship of the ring #fellowship of the ring #lord of the rings headcanons #the lord of the rings #hobbiton #gandalf #gandalf the wizard #jrrt #tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #tolkien headcanons #hobbit headcanons

[mushroomates]

Lord of the Rings hosting? Speaking foreign languages?? Love your posts!! the silly rambles of other tumblrians is my life blood currently

yeah!!!! ty for the kind words! ooooooooh hosting… stay tuned my friend that’s it’s own post :)

legolas: french. proper, france french. also european spanish, latin, and norwegian- which he will sometimes speak with gimli, but the dialects are so drastically different any communication is strained. he was taught formally, “properly” bc his dad lowkey a language purist and that’s kinda problematic but this isn’t abt him

gimli: most germanic languages, including danish, swedish, and norwegian. he speaks the common dialect, the conversational type- not the fancy literature university taught excuse of a language that legolas does. he likes to make a point that if they were on the street, legolas could read the street signs and not understand anything said to him.

aragorn: french (his upbringing), passible italian, street spanish (european and mexican), decent greek, decent norwegian and german, and some mandarin. is very quick picking up languages and speaking/understanding the local dialect

boromir: conversational italian. i’m sorry guys but gondor was based in italy and the roman empire,, and not even that but it just. feels right. im gonna say he speaks passible italian, but more… anglicized italian as he wasn’t really taught it but picked it up around family. (a lot of yelling by his dad)

frodo: knows latin. also french, spanish, and passable italian. has a generic accent that’s not to noticeable when he speaks. is a very good tour guide across europe and a great tutor if someone wants to learn.

merry: maintains a duolingo streak of easily four digits. it’s sweedish. no, he cannot understand gimli. no, gimli does not understand kerry’s sweedish either. he can, however, understand ikea directions. (it drives boromir nuts that the two people who on who can read the manual are possibly the worst at relaying them. merry because he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and gimli, because he believes he doesn’t need any manual)

pippin: tried learned klingon, but lost interest quickly. knows about eight different ways to say “your mom” and all the fun cuss words that come with foreign languages.

sam: is trying very hard to learn french. frodo is teaching him patiently and he’s picking it up rather fast. really, really hates verb congregation and gendered language.

gandalf: mandarin, greek, turkish, quebecois french, finnish, moldovan, castilian spanish, latin, pig latin, and probably more. he’s also fullent in hobbit.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #lotr #legolas #gandalf #lotr headcanons #samwise gamgee #merry and pippin #aragorn son of arathorn #aragorn #boromir son of denethor #boromir #legolas greenleaf #meridoc brandybuck #peregrin took #frodo baggins #gandalf the wizard #gimli son of gloin #gimli #fellowship of the ring #modern au #lotr modern au #asks #the fellowship #frodo #pippin #pippin took #merry brandybuck #hobbits #elves

[mushroomates]

Your blog is my favorite thing on my dash right now.

aksjakjsjakaskakka thank u!!! have a gandalf:

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #my art #asks #gandalf the wizard

[mushroomates]

gimli headcanons:

likes doing laundry. finds it soothing

history nerd!! loves reading old tombs/biographies of his ancestors

is incredibly intelligent. beats frodo in chess. would beat gandalf but gandalf cheats. has been in a stalemate with aragorn for two and a half years.

well mannered but chooses to forgo his politeness to make a point. especially around elves.

does NOT like horses. not just riding them, which is canon, but actually dislikes the animal itself. the reasons why include (but are not limited to) :

he does not like being not on ground. he does not have a fear of heights so much as a fear of… feet not on ground. as evidenced by refusal to jump, treehouses, and well, horses

he does not like their faces. they are long and have eyes on the side like prey. gimli thinks this is deceiving as horses are very large and can kick in someone’s skull. not his skull.

gimli believes that in a one on one match with a horse, he could easily win. he has thought of several, very specific, scenarios of this and has a detailed plan of attack should this situation occur.

they so easily turned against their home for an evil overlord (read: sauron stole all the black horses from rohan) and therefore cannot be trusted. as a rule, anything that willing you let you ride it cannot be trusted. they can’t be satisfied with this life. they are plotting something.

believes he would be great at drums. it’s just hitting things hard and he’s pretty strong.

ok, another thing about horses: they are fragile to a ridiculous extent. you breath wrong and it breaks. they have bad bones and bad blood flow in their legs, and their legs are all that they’re used for. he doesn’t understand why humans invested so much time into horses when they’re genetically bad at what they are meant to do. he’d feel bad for the horses if they weren’t so awful.

drinks coffee, not tea

takes great with the up keeping of his gear. he sharpens his axes, polishes his boots, shines his armor and waxes his mustache. that’s not gear, but he takes great pride in looking groomed and caring for his belongings.

has an axe for every occasion. battle axe? do you want throwing or slashing. a day on the town? have you seen this intricately carved masterpiece that also is a weapon? doffing a hole? PICKAXE. cutting a cake? how about an axe???

hates the rain because it ruins his hair and beard. also loves the rain because it ruins legolas’s hair and clothes.

will eat anything. has a great tolerance for spice. contrary to popular belief, dwarves are not shy of seasoning but are very cautious around other races in fear of poisoning their friends

will also eat some rocks. salty is his favorite (halite, hanksite, glauberite) but also likes to add chunks of chalcanthite to his food for a slightly sweet yet metalic flavor. this is also slightly (SLIGHTLY) poisonous as evidenced by sharing his trail mix with boromir

also calls dirt the “local seasoning”

will taste dirt to try and get a feeling for the land. this tells him the acidity, weather, possible wildlife, and also pisses off legolas

actaully genuinely likes the taste of dirt. (note: if you desire to eat clay/dirt that is a symptom of iron deficiency. for gimli, he eats spoonfuls of the stuff like their supplements because as a kid it was fed to him like multivitamins)

OK SO HEAR ME OUT: lack of sunlight can cause really low hemoglobin and ferritin (a blood protein that contains iron) sooo being constantly in dark caves can cause some forms of iron deficiency. because dwarves are conscious of their young, dwarf children often grow up not often being in direct sunlight.

the solution? dirt. dirt contains iron and other tasty minerals that are good for the body. charcoal has natural antioxidants. so does clay. am i saying that momma gimli (unnamed) fed her son ash and clumps of dirt? yes. also bits of broken pottery. it’s also good of the immune system.

fr tho clay/dirt/charcoal are the dwarven multivitamins. you have a tummy-ache? here, have a rock. i truly believe this was scientifically proven by dwarves and only FOR dwarves (plz do not eat dirt)

fuckin loves mushrooms. has a mushroom log at home. whenever dwarves find some fungai in a cave they go feral

likes dogs. thinks it’s great that they dig holes. thinks it’s fantastic that the bury things in holes. absolutes loves when they get muddy, and then shake off all water and dirt all over you.

when he came back home with the name lockbearer, a lot of the dwarves thought it was really cool and he has some sort of elven puzzle that requires a code to unlock something. imagine their surprise when he rocks up and is like: no, even better. HAIRS. three of them.

enjoys making mudpies- made them as a kid with his cousins, (mostly with rock slurry) and continues to, even even as an adult.

made them on the fellowship with the hobbits. taught them all about the best types of dirt and the water-to-soil- ratio needed.

while cutting up slices of his pie, he offered one to boromir, who in good nature, took it, clearly thinking it was just part of the bit.

poor boromir was locked in a stalemate after gimli cut his own slice, and began eating it.

to his credit, boromir did brave a few bites, but had to stop once he nearly had a mouthful of maggots

“protein”

gimli is like crazy good at hair. can braid quickly and efficiently in elaborate styles

picked up eleven hair style techniques in lorien (quicker than legolas) and was forced to relay them to the elf through twine as there is no way he’s letting grubby elf fingers to touch his glorious mane that’s been decades in the making

would ask for a drink “on the rocks” and get slightly upset if it did not come back with actual rocks

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #lotr #legolas #lotr headcanons #lotr gimli #gimli son of gloin #gimli #dwarves #lord of the rings headcanons #the lord of the rings #dwarf #and my axe #axes #jrrt #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #middle earth #mines of moria #tolkien headcanons #misty mountains #gimli and legolas #gimli headcanons #the fellowship #the fellowship of the ring #moria #ered luin #durins folk #durins bane #gimli lockbearer #three hunters

[mushroomates]

sorry for the low quality i didn’t feel like doin digital art today but here he is!!

I adore your blog and came to ask if you would be so kind and do Aragorn headcanons in your spare time? I’m so curious what would you write about him

Also, wishing you a really nice day, hope you are doing well! x

aww tyty! u are too sweet!! just for u, i went ahead and posted some. stay tuned for a lil doodle

#my art #lotr #aragorn

[mushroomates]

I adore your blog and came to ask if you would be so kind and do Aragorn headcanons in your spare time? I’m so curious what would you write about him

Also, wishing you a really nice day, hope you are doing well! x

aww tyty! u are too sweet!! just for u, i went ahead and posted some. stay tuned for a lil doodle

[mushroomates]

aragorn headcanons:

sketches in his free time. likes to draw plants he’s come across, writes down descriptions for later. makes maps and draws animals.

cannot draw people, for the life of him.

except for arwen. draws her all the time.

used to very bland food, cooking on the road. prefers unseasoned meat, likes to taste the “natural flavor.”

dislikes nutmeg. cinnamon feind

favorite cookie is oatmeal raisin

has very grimy hands all the time. it’s never ending. even after he washes them, it’s like immediate dirt and grease

current theories are: his sword is just really dirty, his clothes are dirty so when he touches them it makes them dirty, or legolas’s favorite- humans naturally produce grime so the dirt is a natural protective layer above the skin.

in actuality it’s because he knows it grosses (some) elves out and likes to be a menace. specifically targets erestor. legolas will also go great lengths to make sure aragorns hands star far, far away from his hair

knows some card tricks. has great slight of hand specially because of these card tricks. didn’t really do anything with this until pippin discovered this fact and aragorn was forced (politely asked) to preform for the hobbits.

this is, in spite of the fact, that they all know a literal WIZARD (gandalf was salty at abt this “false magic”) and also a ring that turns ppl invisible??

sews. really well, actually. enjoys it but rarely showcases this talent- mostly patches and mends garments weathered by his lifestyle. would one day love to sew a dress for arwen but doesn’t know where to start

masterful at subtly deflecting compliments.

very generous with compliments of his own, but are again, subtle.

years of living with elves has made him quite reserved. yet, he is doing his best to unlearn this behavior. such examples include:

telling arwen he loves her. telling elrond he loves him. telling frodo he loves him. really just telling everyone he loves them. he’s even worse when he’s drunk- he rarely gets even tipsy, but under the influence of a fine wine (or mead, he prefers mead or ciders) he will get very emotional.

hugs!! aragorn loves to give hugs. he really tries his best but they’re a bit awkward at times. he’s getting better.

breaking away from the elven raw-diet and dine seasonings with grilled meat and more lately grilled everything.

he will try his best to cook for himself at any opportunity. it was a jarring shift going from being served gourmet eleven dinners to raw venison

love language is acts of service. he likes to cook for his friends, though he’s not as good as it as sam, who cooked a majority of fellowship meals, so he mainly hunts. then legolas offered his hand and gimli felt challenged by that and at this point boromir just felt excluded-

he just wants to do nice things for the people he cares abt.

arwen has not, for a good chunk of her life, tied her own shoes, peeled her own oranges, made her own tea, or woken up without breakfast being made or ready for her.

just. guys. he really really loves arwen. he will do anything for her and it’s almost obnoxious.

it IS obnoxious if you ask legolas. but this is why aragorn does not go to legolas for romantic advice. (legolas once told aragorn that the next time he ties her shoes he should tie them together so that when she falls he will catch her. this is why arwen stoped flats with ties and opted for anything she could slip on instead.)

will never cheat at any sort of game. he will get extremely upset if you accuse him of such.

he does not believe that counting cards qualifies as cheating. boromir strongly disagrees. he mainly sticks to chess, now

is not allowed to play chess with erestor, (sore loser and prone to trash talk) elrond (matches take to long due to overthinking on both ends and this annoys arwen to no end) and either of the twins (they cheat by working as a team)

would 100% believe in bigfoot.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #lotr #legolas #lotr headcanons #elves #rivendell #imaldris #elrond #arwen #aragorn #aragorn son of arathorn #aragorn headcanons #strider #rivendell elves #lord elrond #jrrt #lord of the rings headcanons #the lord of the rings #boromir #lotr imagine #lotr elves #arwen undomiel #arwin #erestor #tolkien elves #legolas greenleaf #gondor #tolkien headcanons #headcanon

[mushroomates]

samwise gamgee headcanons:

enjoys doing the dishes and folding laundry

love language is quality time or acts of service

likes to give sprouts and seedlings to friends and neighbors

nerd about mushrooms and

keeps a hoard of ladybugs to deploy at any time

windowsill is lined with old jars and bottles, filled with clippings for propagation

he gives the best slices of pie and best baked cookies to others. will keep “defects” for himself- they taste just as good

favorite cookies are “everything but the kitchen sink” where he throws a bunch of stuff into the bowl (fruit, pretzels, nuts) and puts it into a cookie

has like 80 pillows on every couch/bed/chair

in addition to the 50-something blankets also piled high

“please, have a seat” he says. ha, no. any surface you could possibly settle onto is adorned with elaborate spreads of throws and such.

has a fruitcake that is legit an heirloom. it’s so stale it’s a brick. you can use it as a doorstop, stepping-stool, or a bludgeoning weapon. (note: has been used for all. he once chucked it at a late night visitor. this is how he learned frodo takes late walks at night. this is also how frodo learned that sam has an arm on him)

his great aunt made it forever ago and honestly he doesn’t know if it’s still good. he keeps it around because it’s been with him so long he feels bad throwing it out.

likes pecan pie! goes nuts (pun intended) for it.

roast his own chestnuts, pecans and walnuts. has a strange grudge against macadamia nuts. (almost choked on one as a child)

very cozy. has scarves and mittens and even slippers (GASP) at the ready

likes to watch the rain with a cup of tea for hours on end

takes his tea with honey, two sugars, and cream. it barely counts as tea.

enjoys bubble baths.

guerrilla gardening. sam is a force to be reckoned with on this front. he is a strong advocate for native plants and will gut someone over deforestation.

carries a salt shaker filled with seeds everywhere. kind of just. shakes it around empty plots of land.

has a hostile land grab once a month and slowly expands the baggin’s garden by an inch, until it takes up nearly the whole estate.

has a great misconception about the appropriate amount to discuss you garden with someone. this is because:

he tends to talk about this to frodo, who will listen, good naturedly

frodo also prevents anyone from talking over sam or changing the subject

most hobbits are to polite (passive aggressive) and don’t have the skills to subtly change the subject in a way sam understands

and if he does recognize the effort he will avoid it

likes to try new recipes but at the same time never follows them

knows a great deal about farming hemp. this is because merry and pippin recruited him into their pipeweed shenanigans and now sam has unintentionally created a strain of the good stuff that has hobbits traveling miles to get their hands on

loves his houseplants like children. they have names and backstory and a rich inner life that he has created that could fill a book

is fighting a battle with english ivy at the moment and only slightly loosing it. it’s suffocating the tree outside his house and he’s not very happy with it.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #lotr #lotr headcanons #samwise gamgee #hobbits #the shire #hobbit #the hobbit #bag end #sam gamgee #samwise #sam and frodo #frodo baggins #garden #frodo and sam #lotr samwise #samwise the brave #samwise headcanons #jrrt #tolkien #middle earth #gandalf #merry and pippin #sam the gardener #lotr fandom #the lord of the rings #lord of the rings headcanons #concerning hobbits #shire

[mushroomates]

on elves being vegetarians:

nature is incredibly important to elves. while hunting may have been reasonable and accessible in the past, due to the recent dwindling of game and the general decrease in population (sauron) many have refrained from this.

in recent times, it has been only on rare occasions that elves hunt. when they do, it is often symbolic and follows some set rules, such as refraining from hunting mothers, children, and in recent years, adolescents in their prime. this is to encourage reproduction as well as be respectful to the population.

while hunting was once considered as acceptable and culturally important, is is now frowned upon in modern times and only done on occasion and is very strictly monitored.

elves don’t have livestock. they don’t domesticate intentionally, and certainly not for food. they prefer things in their natural state, and many elves resort to a raw diet. it is both convenient and establishes a deeper bond to middle earth.

with livestock and hunting ruled out, we can consider reasons beyond necessity.

ike humans, there is a vast range of dietary preferences, restrictions, and various reasons behind these lifestyles. morality, necessity, or the hardship of introducing a new protein after a good thousand years.

many elves would reject eating meat at all. there’s various reasons, such as not growing up with it, scarcity, or simply a moral rejection of consuming something with a soul or that has a heartbeat. some elves feel more connected to middle earth and their ancestors by continuing to hunt/eat meat. many more view it as a special treat and something representative of the old days- something to be cherished and savored.

not only this but many recipes for preparing meat have fallen out of practice. not forgotten entirely, but rended useless. some see cooking meat as preserving this part of their culture. some don’t event realize how much they’ve lost over the years.

many elves also don’t have access to fish or most sea food, with the exception of fresh water fish, wish isn’t desirable to most.

why some elves can’t stomach meat:

introducing a new food can be stressful on the body, especially a new protein. if an elf has gone without meat for a long period of time, they will lose the ability to digest it. much like how lactose tolerant people will become intolerant over time when not consuming dairy frequently enough. also, if an elf has never had meat and introduced to it in later years, it will take them a while to adjust. most foods are introduced in adolescence. this isn’t always the case, leading to complications down the line.

why legolas, specifically, is vegetarian:

mirkwood has scare naturally occurring game. legolas is deeply connected to his home and it’s native species. when he was younger, it was simply out of necessity as there was a temporary ban on hunting native species to encourage the wildlife to grow naturally to a healthy population. this didn’t occur without help, and is much recent years, the population has dwindled even further.

because of the general lack of meat growing up, legolas does not know how to cook, season, or generally properly prepare meat. in practice, at least. he also wasn’t introduced to meat until he was much older, which caused some reactions that weren’t entirely pleasant that he wishes to avoid.

legolas also knows the importance of keeping local wildlife at a healthy level. elves used to lean populations that grew excessive and dominated the environment, but they no longer have that luxury and but have now turned their attention coaxing wildlife to return to a sizeable population. legolas actively makes an effort in this.

now this doesn’t mean he dissuades natural predator, but actively hunts invasive species and targets vegetation dangerous to local wildlife.

point being, be makes an effort to protect and preserve and eating meat seems counterproductive to him.

does this mean legolas NEVER eats meat? of course not. he won’t waste food, and when a meal is cooked for him, he will generally attempt to eat it. he also regularly steals bites from other peoples plates which don’t prescribe to the same dietary restrictions. he knows this and does it anyways.

especially when with the fellowship. hunting is hard work and cooking is just as important. meals (especially so with meat) must be cherished and it means a lot that he can share them with his companions.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #legolas #lotr #lotr headcanons #legolas greenleaf #mirkwood #lorien #lothlorien #rivendell #elrond #imladris #vegetarian #thranduil #galadriel #arwen #elves #wood elves #tolkien elves #tolkien headcanons #jrrt #lotr elves #lord of the rings headcanons #the lord of the rings #headcanons #lotr fandom #the hobbit #celebron #mushroomates #elf

[mushroomates]

Hello!! I love ur posts sm i actually piss myself at some of them ngl

I was thinking, do you have a favourite Hobbit character?

it is also gandalf. <3

(jokes aside,,,,,,, i obv have a soft spot for filli and killi cuz i’m a basic bitch.)

[mushroomates]

bro i’m just a silly little guy with silly little headcanons.

1) who’s to say this isn’t a modern au where frodo doordashed everything.

2) never said elves were vegetarian, (in this post, at least. low key hc in modern times, will post smth later) just that legolas doesn’t eat meat. it can be sensory or even just a “idk how to cook” thing.

3) this is my hc. it can’t be wrong bc it can’t be real. ur also not wrong bc it isn’t real. it’s kinda silly to attack sm bc ur ideas abt a fantasy world don’t line up w mine. i post to share my ideas, ur not obligated to agree with me.

again, these just my ideas. i’m not presenting them as fact. i’m not jrrt. if u disagree it’s fine. u didn’t have to agree. u also welcome to share ur ideas- no one’s gonna stop u.

can they cook: fellowship edition

samwise: obviously. makes the best food ever. doesn’t even follow recipes anymore. can bake too. makes really great pies, both sweet and savory. makes the dough himself.

frodo: no. sam and bilbo mostly cooked for him. sam taught him how to cook potatoes. he messed even that up. he helps by doing dishes and cutting and washing food. he can bake well, though.

pippin: once put an egg on the oven for breakfast. it was in its shell, and exploded. don’t let him near the knives or stove top.

merry: makes pretty good edibles. has mastered brownies and cookies, once put weed in a tart. can make dry sandwiches, that’s about it.

legolas: lmao no. accidentally on a raw diet. he eats everything as is. if you’re luckily he will give it a quick rinse. doesn’t eat meat, probably for the best. one time sam saw him take a bite out of a raw onion like it was an apple and lost his mind.

gimli: yes! makes good roasts and hearty stews. has the best jerky, and puts way to much pepper in everything. uses ground oven for everything he can- he digs a hole, fills it with food, and lights a fire over it. says the dirt add flavor.

aragorn: it’s edible. mostly unseasoned. will use herbs for medicine instead. knows how to perfectly cook any meat, but can’t make a salad for the life of him.

boromir: grill dad. he only cooks over flame. carrots? grill. potatoes? grill. nuts? grill. he’s a big fan of just, throwing the food into the fire pit. to be fair, it tastes pretty good. only uses salt, pepper and paprika.

gandalf: no one has ever seen gandalf cooking. truth is, he can, in theory. hasn’t actually cooked in forever. the last thing he made was a birthday cake. it was no one’s birthday. he ate it by himself and didn’t share with anyone.

[mushroomates]

the fellowship at a hardware store, from someone who works at a hardware store:

sam: is in the nursery!! goes straight to the discount/dying plants and piles his cart full of wilted and sad plants. likes to rescue the houseplants first, has a soft spot for perennials and citrus trees. is a nightmare to check out but is very sweet about it. dirt and leaves everywhere. like, everywhere. they have to sweep after he’s gone. surprisingly strong and hauls big bags of dirt.

frodo: enjoys home improvement!! likes to wander carpeting and organization, hunts for good deals and keeps tabs on the sales weekends. he likes to peruse the shower curtains and closet accessories. likes to refurbish old furniture he finds off the side of the road- currently fixing up an antique dresser to put in the master bedroom.

merry: doorknobs, handles, dresser nobs. he likes to pick out the interesting and antique ones and customize his home with them. he really likes the oddly shaped ones, he has one starfish and one pickle on his nightstand table. likes to joke about touching all the knobs and fiddling with the knockers.

pippin: is lost in the lighting department. he’s staring up at all the pretty lights and hypnotizing fans. likes the remote controlled lights, enjoys messing with the demos. also likes collecting paint chips. (pippins also the kind of person to get really high and shit in the display toilets.) does not buy anything, maybe some beef jerky and skittles at the check outs.

boromir: this man has like 80 projects going on and is remarkably proficient in every conceivable area featured in the store. he’s here so much people think he works here. he kinda does. he’s happy to advise you, lead you to products, and lifts heavy things for little old ladies and swooning maidens. he’s happy to grab the things on the highest shelf as well as carry those bigs bags of dirt out to your care. he is just a naturally pure and helpful soul. <3

aragorn: has lost himself in scrap wood. straight to the lumber yard, straight to the pile of damaged and recycled wood. once a month, he comes and loads up as much as it will fit in a pickup truck. no one knows what he does with it but he keeps coming back. there are several theories around the store. either he’s building a bunker, has a side hustle by reselling it, makes massive fires or he does wood work. alternatively, he’s a homeless man building his own cabin in the woods so he can live away from society. that’s one’s probably the closest.

gandalf: mixes his own paint. he doesn’t work there but somehow he keeps getting back there and making his own custom colors. was known to pull a miracle and turn gray paint back into white. no one knows how he did this. likes to camp out in the seasonal section. enjoys lounging on couches and swings for long periods of time.

gimli: is so excited to walk into the tools section. wants all the toys. likes power tools in a way that’s both funny and scary. really likes chainsaws and leaf blowers, possibly because they pose the biggest threat to legolas. often gets flagged out the door because no one person needs that many tools and he must be up to something. he always beeps out the door because inevitably someone forgot to take off one of the sensors of his many, many tools. he used to be nicer about this but lately has lost patience with always being stopped out the door, and often will make a show of waving his receipt before leaving.

legolas: spends a good amount of time in the garden. i imagine he gets enamored with the fountains and ponds rather quickly, also likes the statues and fun pots. also, wanders through the garden and samples the plants. by samples i mean eat small bites of it, and if he finds the quality satisfactory he will purchase it. this is rarely the case and he often just goes around eating small bites of houseplants.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #legolas #lotr #gandalf #pippin #samwise gamgee #elves #lotr headcanons #legolas greenleaf #pippin took #merry brandybuck #merry and pippin #gimli #gimli son of gloin #boromir #boromir son of denethor #aragorn #aragorn son of arathorn #frodo baggins #ganfalf #jrrt #middle earth #the fellowship #the hobbit #the fellowship of the ring #gandalf the grey #gandalf the white #hardware #hardware store

[mushroomates]

pretty sure legolas was awkward around the fellowship because his people literally tried to steal the treasure at the lonely mountain a scant 100 years before

legolas is like a covid dog. daddy thranduil did not take his son to the dog park so now legolas does not know what a child is and freaks out when he sees one. legolas is an unsocialized shelter herding dog with too much energy and impulsive to herd and protect his flock of hobbits that he doesn’t understand.

point of order: legolas would have been in that siege. i think legolas does not feel awkward because of this; his awkwardness is pre-existing and now he has to deal with this. and because is he so awkward, any attempts to deal with this are also awkward. also- any awkwardness from the attempted seigue is not out of guilt but out of embarrassment of mirkwood’s failure to take over the lonely mountain. he does not understand why mirkwood was in the wrong, and probably would not until gimli laid it out to him and even they he might not.

ok real talk:

legolas grew up in an environment that was full of change and he didn’t have much to anchor him self on. no to mention he’s one of the only elves (arwen being the other) to experience this new world- a lot of the knowledge that could have been passed down to him is now redundant. he had no peers of his age so naturally that impacted his social development- not to mention the overall fleeing of elfkind from middle earth. he had no maternal figure and what we can assume was a strained relationship with his father, so his ability to connect with people suffered greatly. from what we know about elves, their sense of community is incredibly important, and the lack of relationships in his life created a naturally awkward person who does not know how to begin or maintain said relationships. i believe this is a legolas was not only placed on the fellowship, but sent to rivendell to begin with: quite literally, to socialize him.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #legolas #lotr #eleven #hobbits #middle earth #elves #asks #legolas greenleaf #thranduil #arwen #arwin #rivendell #the fellowship #the hobbit #mirkwood #the fellowship of the ring #lotr headcanons #gimli #gimli son of gloin #the lord of the rings #tolkien #jrrt #the silmarillion #elf

[mushroomates]

the fellowship at the beach:

aragorn: knows exactly where to go for peak waves and sun. it’s not crowded and quite frankly the fellowship is unsure if they’re technically trespassing but it’s a good enough time for them not to care. likes to set up canopies and umbrellas for everyone then disappears for like 2 hours on a walk/hike.

boromir: likes to grill/camp out. he enjoys large bond fires and roasting marshmellows. during the day he likes to do beach volleyball or swim in the ocean, a very physical dude. enjoys activities,,, has to be doing something.

merry: likes to fly kites with boromir on the dunes. not a huge fan of water, enjoys playing games and building large sandcastles. he and pippin like to turn gandalf into a sand mermaid when the can, as well as dig a giant moat with gimli.

pippin: gets sunburnt everytime. has so much sand in his hair. gets it everywhere. is a walking disaster- has lost several hats, sunglasses, beach toys, wallets, keys, phones,,,, everything pippin has in his possession when he comes to the beach he will no longer have when he leaves. this also includes the many stickers, magnets and keychains he swipes from nearby shops for keepsakes. wants to rent a jetski but no one will go with him.

frodo: likes to wade in the water and collect pretty seashells. brings them back to his friends to show them off. finds rocks in all shades and sizes, brings samwell heart shaped rocks as well as any cool colored ones that remind him of sam. gandalf once asked why frodo never brought him any rocks, in which frodo started collecting all grey rocks and bringing them to gandalf. funnily enough, most rocks are some shade of grey, and gandalf got rather sick of pebbles being chucked at him.

sam: has many towels and lots of sunscreen. very prepared with the snacks, brings sandwiches and drinks for everyone! likes to hang out in the shade and walk along the shore. enjoys the touristy shops along the coast, especially likes the salt water taffy and keychains. laughs loudly at all the gimmicky tourist traps,,,, always goes in/falls victim to them.

legolas: is weird about sand,,,,, cannot have it between him and something else. ex: between the shoes, clothing, hair. has to be directly on him or nothing at all (walking barefoot) once they are even within proximity the beach he jumps out immediately charges towards the water. likes to push people in/splash them.

gimli: no shoes no shirt no problem,,, immediately in just swim trunks as soon as they pull up to the parking lot. enjoys building massive sand castles with the hobbits as well as digging deep trenches to trap their compatriots in. they cover it with a towel, someone falls in and nearly breaks their neck- good times.

gandalf: brings a book to read, likes to chill in the shade and listen to the waves. falls asleep more often then not, wakes up barricaded in sand or made into a sand sculpture. will disappear suddenly and come back with ice cream. no one knows where he got it. he does not share or tell anyone where he gets this mysterious ice cream either.

bilbo: is reading with gandalf. he brings some iced tea and good sunglasses and just relaxes. he is a active people watcher, likes to eavesdrop as well as note and speculate on interesting figures. likes to do some light journaling/writing as well.

gollum: is fishing. lurks in the bay and attempts to catch fish with his bare hands, then proceeds to immediately eat them raw. also chases seagulls- will chath and eat those as well. he is, unfortunately, quite successful in this. he is also no longer allowed in or around several public beaches.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #legolas #gandalf #lotr #pippin #samwise gamgee #lotr headcanons #merry and pippin #beach day #the fellowship #the fellowship of the ring #the hobbit #frodo baggins #bilbo baggins #gollum #smeagol #pippin took #merry brandybuck #frodo and sam #gimli #gimli son of gloin #boromir #boromir son of denethor #aragorn #aragorn son of arathorn #legolas greenleaf #middle earth #tolkien #jrrt

[mushroomates]

legolas headcanons:

is, by all accounts, the worlds most awkward elf

most of the fellowship doesn’t even realize how weird he is

thranduil did not socialize his boy well. legolas is not aloof he just has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing.

will walk very slowly with exaggerated movements around hobbits because he thinks they won’t see him otherwise.

the hobbits thinks this is elf custom. frodo theorizes this is because elves want to rest their eyes and ears when they’re at home, so other elves like to announce themselves so no one gets spooked.

this is aided by the fact that legolas loudly announces his presence whenever he enters the room, just incase you missed it.

this conclusion is false. legolas will approach other elves by charging at them, full speed. alternatively, shooting an arrow in their vicinity for a vibe check.

he also likes shooting at people to wake them up and/or scare them

legolas likes that it’s a gentle reminder to his companions that he could kill them at any time and they should be honored that he doesn’t.

aragorn has options about this. legolas tells him that he should be grateful that such a skilled elf is on his side and cares for him. aragorn maintains that if legolas really cared, the elf would stop waking him up with ‘good morning’ shots. he also would like to note that legolas’s loud singing is only slightly better than an arrow flying at you first thing in the morning:

legolas tries to make friends by staring at them from afar and when they look at him he looks away. like a cat. he will also blink at u as if to say “look! i like you! i’m closing my eyes!!!” again, like a cat.

will bring you small gifts to curry favor, also like a cat. interesting rocks and pretty feathers, samples of dirt, fallen leaves in different shapes and colors, and whatever flowers are near by and catch his eye. gets very upset if you don’t marvel at them for the appropriate amount of time.

will eat bites off of your plate. this is a form of endearment. he’s showing he trusts you and likes you. he’s also showing his inability to cook and hopes you’ll take pity on him by sharing your food.

sometimes will intentionally walk loudly around the camp if he’s bored, angry, or lonely so he can wake aragorn up and they can be awake together :)

likes to sing, loudly, at inappropriate times

no one in the fellowship has seen him piss. some of the hobbits are under the impression that elves don’t pee. aragorn and gandalf do not correct them.

up at the asscrack of dawn. this is annoying, because he’s chipper, looks amazing, and is a tad judgements that you aren’t as well.

captain obvious as well as worlds most unhelpful elf ever. will point out your mistake, claim to know how to fix it and half the time not offer the solution or his assistance.

cannot do laundry. he doesn’t even get dirty enough to consider it, and with how little people in middle earth wash their clothes anyway, none of his clothes have been cleaned for easily centuries.

is very confused by dogs. doesn’t understand what he’s supposed to do with them. they’re always so happy and want (physical???) attention and,, it’s not a one and done thing either. you’re supposed to keep petting them? after you already pet them.

they’re like wolves, but smaller and maybe stupider. they also stink. boromir has explained to him many times that dogs are man’s best friend and are beautiful creatures. this worries legolas, because that means either dogs are more evolved than they let on,, or men are significantly further behind than elves than he first thought..

can not play the harp. is upset by this fact.

never really bothered to learn how to harp, either.

he believes he should be able to play the harp regardless because the harp is just a big bow with many strings. this is, in fact, false.

will eat anything. mushrooms and questionable berries mean nothing to him.

this upsets aragorn as he believes legolas is setting a bad example for the hobbits, dispite hobbits having the most durable digestive systems. (note: elves can eat almost anything, but hobbits have the stomach of a labrador retriever. they are always hungry, can can eat anything, even what they’re not supposed to)

DID set a bad example for boromir, who mistakingly ate some of the berries legolas offered him and had the shits for weeks.

is like 90% sure who frodo is. it’s definitely one of the hobbits. it’s probably not the one with the pony.

is faceblind. he can’t recognize other people’s faces for the life of him. if you asked him to pick out aragorn in a sea of humans, he’d panic dispite knowing the man for 50+ years.

this also goes for all races, including dwarves. gimli thought he might just be racist and covering his ass, but then watched him stall for like 30 minutes making small talk with some lorien elves and try (and fail) to pick celeborn out of the crowd.

does know what galadriel and thranduil look like. has a hard time pointing out elrond.

will forget your name almost immediately after you tell him. guys like 3k old and has met a lot of people give him a break

to be fair he does know who you are and what you sound/look like. defining features like voice and hair help a lot. it’s just if you were to give him a book of cropped faces and ask him to name, just one,,, he’d panic and throw it at you.

feels robbed of the golden ages,, resents the fact that the world he knows is drastically different that the world he could have been. wishes there were more elves his age and just more elves in general.

that being said he wouldn’t change this for anything as the world he’s in gave him the friends he’s made and the adventure of a life time :)

he doesn’t wash his hands. like ever or at all.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #legolas #gandalf #lotr #pippin #samwise gamgee #elves #legolas greenleaf #lotr headcanons #legolas headcanon #legolas is a menace #gimli #gimli son of gloin #boromir #boromir son of denethor #frodo baggins #merry and pippin #aragorn #rivendell #mirkwood #and my bow #middle earth #lorien #lothlorien #thranduil #celebron #galadriel #legolas headcanons #legolas is weird

[mushroomates]

You're so funny! I've decided you're one of my favourite people on this app now, so glad you brought up the "where did you get the weed, you villains" quote because honestly no one ever says ANYTHING about it and it's gold, who's your favourite lotr character?

thank u!!! your kind words are much appreciated!! tbh it does change,,, like obviously i respect the hell out of boromir (will go into this later), love legolas and pippin to bits (rant for both coming up) but my all time fav has to be gandalf.

he has my whole heart. seriously this cranky old man is who i aspire to be in life,,,, i love him dearly. he refers to talking to himself as talking to the wisest person in the room. he throws parties at other peoples houses without telling them and applies for jobs on other peoples behalf. he has fireworks, is high off his ass 90% of the time and will go off on you if you tell him good morning. my man is the worlds greatest wiseass (equal parts of wise and ass) and has so many great quotes. he’s late to like everything, (same), is unpredictable in the best way, bullshits everyone and everything all the time and still manages to gain the respect and trust of like all of middle earth.

he knows where it’s at. large ass floppy hat and robes for days,,, he’s a fashion icon stoner grandpa who does whatever whenever and i love him. also,,, i have like so many questions,, as does everyone,, about him. questions that tolkien didn’t awnser. and yk what??? yea! that makes sense.

#lord of the rings #jrr tolkien #gandalf #lotr #gandalf the grey #gandalf the white #mithrandir #asks #what a guy #i love him #gandalf the wizard #wizard #my art