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dont-tell-my-mom-im-here · 5 months

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I've never seen a normal post about C.S. Lewis and JRR Tolkien it's always just like: Tolkien once murdered someone and Lewis helped him bury the body but he wore a Santa costume just to spite him

#jrr tolkien #cs lewis #the chronicles of narnia #narnia #c.s. lewis #j.r.r. tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #tolkien #lewis #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit

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grondds-and-roses · 1 year

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#pippin took #pippin #peregrin took #merry brandybuck #meriadoc brandybuck #aragorn #aragorn son of arathorn #lotr #lord of the rings #the fellowship of the ring #the two towers #the return of the king #jrrt #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #gondor #minas tirith

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ineffablejaymee · 17 days

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me, sitting bored at a table with 20 nerds: *sighs

me: why didnt they just fly on the eagl-

20 people screamimg at once, a fork is thrown at me, someone flips the table, the room is on fire

#lord of the rings #lotr #tolkien #jrr tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #the hobbit

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vildo · 24 days

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concernedhobbits · 2 years

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i think we should start shortening george r r martin like how j r r tolkien’s classmates shortened his name to jirt. i think the internet needs to start referring to him as germ.

#j r r tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #jirt #george r r martin #george reorge reorge meorge #germ #lotr #lord of the rings #the hobbit #the silmarillion #game of thrones #house of the dragon

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mushroomates · 3 months

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gimli headcanons:

likes doing laundry. finds it soothing

history nerd!! loves reading old tombs/biographies of his ancestors

is incredibly intelligent. beats frodo in chess. would beat gandalf but gandalf cheats. has been in a stalemate with aragorn for two and a half years.

well mannered but chooses to forgo his politeness to make a point. especially around elves.

does NOT like horses. not just riding them, which is canon, but actually dislikes the animal itself. the reasons why include (but are not limited to) :

he does not like being not on ground. he does not have a fear of heights so much as a fear of… feet not on ground. as evidenced by refusal to jump, treehouses, and well, horses

he does not like their faces. they are long and have eyes on the side like prey. gimli thinks this is deceiving as horses are very large and can kick in someone’s skull. not his skull.

gimli believes that in a one on one match with a horse, he could easily win. he has thought of several, very specific, scenarios of this and has a detailed plan of attack should this situation occur.

they so easily turned against their home for an evil overlord (read: sauron stole all the black horses from rohan) and therefore cannot be trusted. as a rule, anything that willing you let you ride it cannot be trusted. they can’t be satisfied with this life. they are plotting something.

believes he would be great at drums. it’s just hitting things hard and he’s pretty strong.

ok, another thing about horses: they are fragile to a ridiculous extent. you breath wrong and it breaks. they have bad bones and bad blood flow in their legs, and their legs are all that they’re used for. he doesn’t understand why humans invested so much time into horses when they’re genetically bad at what they are meant to do. he’d feel bad for the horses if they weren’t so awful.

drinks coffee, not tea

takes great with the up keeping of his gear. he sharpens his axes, polishes his boots, shines his armor and waxes his mustache. that’s not gear, but he takes great pride in looking groomed and caring for his belongings.

has an axe for every occasion. battle axe? do you want throwing or slashing. a day on the town? have you seen this intricately carved masterpiece that also is a weapon? doffing a hole? PICKAXE. cutting a cake? how about an axe???

hates the rain because it ruins his hair and beard. also loves the rain because it ruins legolas’s hair and clothes.

will eat anything. has a great tolerance for spice. contrary to popular belief, dwarves are not shy of seasoning but are very cautious around other races in fear of poisoning their friends

will also eat some rocks. salty is his favorite (halite, hanksite, glauberite) but also likes to add chunks of chalcanthite to his food for a slightly sweet yet metalic flavor. this is also slightly (SLIGHTLY) poisonous as evidenced by sharing his trail mix with boromir

also calls dirt the “local seasoning”

will taste dirt to try and get a feeling for the land. this tells him the acidity, weather, possible wildlife, and also pisses off legolas

actaully genuinely likes the taste of dirt. (note: if you desire to eat clay/dirt that is a symptom of iron deficiency. for gimli, he eats spoonfuls of the stuff like their supplements because as a kid it was fed to him like multivitamins)

OK SO HEAR ME OUT: lack of sunlight can cause really low hemoglobin and ferritin (a blood protein that contains iron) sooo being constantly in dark caves can cause some forms of iron deficiency. because dwarves are conscious of their young, dwarf children often grow up not often being in direct sunlight.

the solution? dirt. dirt contains iron and other tasty minerals that are good for the body. charcoal has natural antioxidants. so does clay. am i saying that momma gimli (unnamed) fed her son ash and clumps of dirt? yes. also bits of broken pottery. it’s also good of the immune system.

fr tho clay/dirt/charcoal are the dwarven multivitamins. you have a tummy-ache? here, have a rock. i truly believe this was scientifically proven by dwarves and only FOR dwarves (plz do not eat dirt)

fuckin loves mushrooms. has a mushroom log at home. whenever dwarves find some fungai in a cave they go feral

likes dogs. thinks it’s great that they dig holes. thinks it’s fantastic that the bury things in holes. absolutes loves when they get muddy, and then shake off all water and dirt all over you.

when he came back home with the name lockbearer, a lot of the dwarves thought it was really cool and he has some sort of elven puzzle that requires a code to unlock something. imagine their surprise when he rocks up and is like: no, even better. HAIRS. three of them.

enjoys making mudpies- made them as a kid with his cousins, (mostly with rock slurry) and continues to, even even as an adult.

made them on the fellowship with the hobbits. taught them all about the best types of dirt and the water-to-soil- ratio needed.

while cutting up slices of his pie, he offered one to boromir, who in good nature, took it, clearly thinking it was just part of the bit.

poor boromir was locked in a stalemate after gimli cut his own slice, and began eating it.

to his credit, boromir did brave a few bites, but had to stop once he nearly had a mouthful of maggots

“protein”

gimli is like crazy good at hair. can braid quickly and efficiently in elaborate styles

picked up eleven hair style techniques in lorien (quicker than legolas) and was forced to relay them to the elf through twine as there is no way he’s letting grubby elf fingers to touch his glorious mane that’s been decades in the making

would ask for a drink “on the rocks” and get slightly upset if it did not come back with actual rocks

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twistedfingerpress · 3 months

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“All his court were cast down in slumber, and all the fires faded and were quenched; but the Silmarils in the crown on Morgoth's head blazed forth suddenly with a radiance of white flame; and the burden of that crown and of the jewels bowed down his head, as though the world were set upon it, laden with a weight of care, of fear, and of desire, that even the will of Morgoth could not support. Then Lúthien catching up her winged robe sprang into the air, and her voice came dropping down like rain into pools, profound and dark. She cast her cloak before his eyes, and set upon him a dream, dark as the outer Void where once he walked alone.”

#Beren and Luthien #silmarillion #tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #my art

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autistook · 2 months

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a cutiepie

#lotr #lord of the rings #the lord of the rings #pippin #pippin took #peregrin took #lotr gifs #lotr edit #billy boyd #tolkien #rotk #jrrt #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien

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maironsmaid · 1 year

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Folks, is it problematic to sing the Noldolante?

/j

#it's a rubber #silmarillion #maglor #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #noldolante #ai

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kinsey3furry300 · 3 months

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Them: "Oh my god, Legolas in the Peter Jackson films is so OP it makes elves look utterly riddiculous!"

Me: *laughs in Glorfindel*

#Glorfindel #the silmarillion #LOTR #legolas #j r r tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #peter jackson

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hermoonself · 1 month

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people talk like tolkien is god or something and whatever he says cannot be mended... like bro, dude could not stay true to his own details and storyline. also, as much as I respect people's arts and their own artistic decisions, having some fun must not be blasphemous.

#the hobbit #the lord of the rings #lord of the rings #lotr #tolkien #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #jrr tolkien

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dont-tell-my-mom-im-here · 6 months

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Normalize using the word quest for everyday activities. Oh you want me to go to the store with you to pick up some coffee and chewing gum? We are now 2 hobbits on a quest to find the liquid of strength and the tablets of altered form. I'm bringing a fancy ring.

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grondds-and-roses · 6 months

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You are in the house of Elrond. And it is ten o’clock in the morning, on October the twenty-fourth btw. If you even care

#gandalf #gandalf the grey #gandalf the white #frodo baggins #elrond #rivendell #lotr #lord of the rings #lotr shitpost #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien #tolkien #jrrt #jrr tolkien

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dancingbluelight · 2 years

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part 🪓Battle Ax🪓 of LOTR memes that made me bite my lip to hold back laughter at camp

have a loverly day :D

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vildo · 2 months

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Why does it cry Smeagirl

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elvenhymntoelbereth · 23 days

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ive read that at some point, Tolkien took his inspiration from Breton culture to create his fABULOUS and fantastic and wonderful world, and as a french it makes me laugh so hard like I imagine merry and pippin singing tri martolod while eating a kouign amann and proudly parading around with a Breton flag, because this is what our beloved bretons do all the time

#don't mind me i'm having a moment #tolkien #up the baguette #vive les bretons #jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien

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