#sea glass also looks tasty

[casualcryptids]

I want to eat pottery sherds 🥺

#study archaeology just to get close to beautiful (tasty?) pottery sherds #I just really like all the diff typologies of pottery #not at all inspired by a lab we did in class today #shitpost #archaeology #archaeoblr #anthropology #sea glass also looks tasty #stole the photo from the British Museum's site since they steal everything else..

[makeitmingi]

The Cat and Dog Game [Chapter 11]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Chef!Reader, RestaurantOwner!Yunho, MaitreD!Hongjoong, Waiter!Yeosang, Waiter!San, Waiter!Mingi, SousChef!Seonghwa, SousChef!Wooyoung, PrepChef!Jongho

Summary: Yunho's dream was to open and run his own restaurant. But he doesn't know anything when it comes to cooking. Until you came along and accepted the job, bringing with you a small crew. How will the black cat tame the energetic golden retriever?

Word count: 3.3K

You tilted your head, staring at the bouquet that was now sitting in a glass vase on your counter top.

"Staring at it isn't going to make it grow legs and walk, darling." Seonghwa chuckled from behind you. You rolled your eyes, straightening up and turning to walk to the fridge. You grabbed a tray out and put it on the island.

"I'm still in shock, Hwa. A little empathy or even sympathy would be greatly appreciated. I've never gotten flowers from anyone before." You said.

"Wow...."

"You don't count." You hissed. You grabbed another tray from the fridge. But this one was covered with aluminium foil.

"What are you trying?" Seonghwa rounded the counter and came back to where you were, peering over your shoulder. You removed the foil to show him the second tray.

"I'm trying to see if I prefer the flavour of a dry brine compared to a wet brine for monk fish." You explained.

"Because it's meatier and tougher?" He tilted his head. You nodded.

"Usually for fish, we use a wet brine but since monk fish is so firm and can act like chicken or red meat, I was thinking if a dry brine might enhance the flavour a little more." You said. You took the pieces of fish out of the flavoured water, patting it dry between two pieces of kitchen roll.

"What's in the dry brine?" Seonghwa asked, taking a brush to help you brush off the salt seasoning mix on the surface of the fish. He wasn't going to wash it or it would get rid of too much flavour.

"One has salt, white pepper, kombu, dried shiitake. The other has salt, black pepper, rosemary, thyme, bay leaf, garlic and a hint of sweet paprika."

"Not smoked?" He turned to you.

"No, as much as I wanted a herbier, heavy flavour combination, I didn't want to overpower the flavour of the fish." You shrugged.

"Good choice. Especially since the monk fish can be sweet, it only enhances the natural sea water flavour that's already there." Seonghwa hummed.

"How should I cook it without impacting the flavour...?" You scratched your head.

"Ooh, you're making me think of a monk fish curry now." Seonghwa smiled, almost drooling at the thought.

"I said I don't want to impart any of flavours, Hwa. If we make a curry, all the dry brine flavour will be overpowered." You slapped his arm. In the end, you decided to lightly steam half of them and pan sear the other half. Seonghwa helped you manage the pan.

"As much as we should, we shouldn't baste it. Even butter will affect the taste." Seonghwa said. You agreed. When the fish came out, you left it to rest for a few minutes.

"So, you want to talk about that?" Seonghwa nodded over to the vase of flowers you were looking at.

"What's there to talk about except why did you put it in a vase?" You raised an eyebrow.

"You just left it on the table, sweetheart. They'll die if you just leave it like that, you have to put them in some water to let them survive." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, so you're the flower expert now?" You asked.

"We're digressing here... Tell me what he said to you when he gave you the flowers." He said.

"I already told you. He wanted to 'cheer me up' and give me energy so he got me sunflowers. And he thought sugary sweets would also do the trick so he got me donuts, which were rather tasty, by the way. I'll be curious to try more flavours from the shop." You shrugged and took the tray of fish to start slicing.

"And what did you reply to that?"

"I said thanks and split the donuts with him. You know I don't eat sugary things much... What else was there for me to say or respond to him?" You questioned.

"Well, I guess it's the first time he's seen you in your... grumpy tantrum mode..." Seonghwa sighed.

"I wasn't grumpy and/or throwing a tantrum." You frowned.

"Sweetheart, there was a literal dark cloud floating above your head." Seonghwa chuckled. You glared at him with a small pout before focusing back on slicing the fish pieces.

"Okay but that's all? You didn't say anything else?" Seonghwa went back to the topic.

"Oh. I... patted him on the head..." You said, remembering your actions. Seonghwa's eyes widened before he burst out laughing at your words. You sent him a flat look for laughing at you. You ignored him and put the fish slices on plates.

"HE'S NOT A LITERAL DOG, (Y/N)!" He exclaimed amidst his laughter. You felt your cheeks heat up at his words.

"I know! I didn't mean to, I don't know what came over me so I just reached out to pat his head. It's not my fault he caught me as I was snoozing." You muttered.

"Still... You must have surprised him." He laughed, wiping a tear that had formed in the corner of his eye.

"Now that you're done laughing at me. Here." You handed Seonghwa a fork with gritted teeth. You both dug into the fish, quietly tasting and savouring each one for their different tastes.

"Oh, wow." You were amazed.

"The different dry brines bring out such different flavours." Seonghwa said as he chewed.

"Between the dry brines, the delicate seasoning of the kombu one fits steaming method while the heavier seasoning benefits from the pan sear." You noted.

"I think because the pan sear toasts the herb flavour on there like how we usually toast our herbs to bring out the aromatic oils. So after searing this piece, you taste a lot more rosemary, thyme and paprika." Seonghwa theorised. You nodded your head, writing all this down in your iPad journal.

"It takes on more flavour with the dry brines. But the texture is softer with the wet brine." Seonghwa took another piece.

"I think the dry brine has been able to remove more moisture so it's firmer in texture. If serving on it's own, I would like the dry brine. In stews or curries, wet brine for sure." You concluded.

"Should we do something with monkfish for tomorrow's dinner service then?" He suggested.

"Lotte à l'Armoricaine (French tomato based stew cooked with white wine and monkfish)?" You looked through your recipe archives.

"Good idea. Since it is served with rice. I think customers will like that." Seonghwa nodded, moving to start on the dishes. You took a piece of paper to write this down.

"The supplier said he has some nice pears so shall we make baesuk for dessert (Korean poached pears)?"

"Yeah. What will you poach them in?" He asked.

"If we go Korean inspired, I think a light honey, ginger poaching liquid. Maybe add some pink peppercorns instead of black peppercorns for a more berry-like flavour. We can accompany it with yuja sherbet and candied ginger." You said.

"That sounds good."

"I think we should do burgers tomorrow. Cheese stuffed burgers with bacon on top and caramelised onions. Koreans love burgers and fries." Seonghwa laughed.

"That doesn't sound too bad though. But I'd hate to be the one stuck on deep fryer duty." You cringed.

"We should do at least one savoury dish that has Korean flavours." Seonghwa reminded.

"Hmm... Scallop, kombu angel hair with perilla oil? It's light on the taste buds." You scrunched your nose, trying to come up with a dish and flavour profile.

"That'll work. I was thinking for appetisers, we can do mussammari (Julienned vegetables wrapped in a thin slice of pickled radish) with a gochujang sauce." He finished the dishes and sat with you.

"I like that. We can grill pork collar with salsa verde. And beef carpaccio with brine tomatoes and shredded shiso leaf." You turned to him. Seonghwa thought about the flavour profiles and nodded while you wrote it down. If Wooyoung and Jongho wanted to add other dishes, they were free to. Any of them could.

You put the paper aside, leaning back against Seonghwa's shoulder. Tomorrow's morning bake items had already been decided so you didn't need to brainstorm on what to bake.

"Tired?" Seonghwa asked.

"Not physically. But my brain is, I think it's fried." You sighed, closing your eyes.

"You don't need to tire yourself out so much. Don't think and overthink too much. It'll only lead to faster burnout." He said as his hands massaged your achy ones.

"I know..." You said.

"Hwa?" You called out. He hummed in reply.

"You don't have to always take care of me and watch out for me, okay? You have to make sure that you take care of yourself too." You told him.

"I know." He replied, reply identical to yours. He knew you always felt guilty that he was constantly taking care of you, especially because you're known to not take care of yourself. But Seonghwa didn't see it as an obligation to care for you, he just wants to.

"Don't feel guilty or bad. You take care of me too, (y/n). We take care of each other, it's what we do and what we have been doing since we've met." He said.

"But you take care of me so much more."

"It doesn't matter who does more, you shouldn't worry about that. We're best friends. No one is measuring." Seonghwa chided.

"I just don't want to hold you back from anything. Like you said, we're best friends. And I would want you to venture out and do what you want to do, what's best for you." You sighed.

"What I want to do is be here with you. My best is being by your side. You're not holding me back." He comforted.

"Sure? Promise me that if I am, you tell me." You looked up at him.

"I'm sure. And as silly as that is, fine, I promise." He said. You held up your pinky and he chuckled but laced pinkies with you, stamping it to seal the deal.

"Tch, we've been glued together for so many years and you're still worried about all this. I already told you the day that we met that you're not getting rid of me so easily. That's why we never had any other friends growing up, except each other." Seonghwa playfully scolded you, flicking you on the forehead.

"Oww!" You held the place his flicked. Seonghwa clicked his tongue, knowing you were exaggerating. He didn't even hit you with so much force. He would never actually hurt you.

"So technically, you admit you're the reason I was a loner growing up?" You raised your eyebrows in accusation.

"You weren't a loner. You were with me and that's more than enough." He scoffed.

"That's true. You always made sure I wasn't left alone, Hwa." You giggled. You couldn't really remember a time where you and Seonghwa were apart.

Sure, you weren't spending every waking minute together but you've both never really let the other person feel lonely.

"Alright, it's time for an afternoon nap." You stood up, stretching your arms over your head.

"Shall I order Vietnamese food for dinner? I know you've been craving it." Seonghwa said. You were not shocked at this point that Seonghwa remembered something that you casually said in passing. You nodded your head excitedly.

"Yes. I would like bun bo hue (spicy beef noodle soup), pork tau hu ky (fried beancurd skin rolls with pork filling) and lemongrass pork please." You ordered.

"Okay." Seonghwa took it down.

"What are you having?" You asked as you laid down in bed, getting under the covers. Seonghwa took the spot beside you.

"My usual, bun rieu cua (tomato, crab and pork noodle soup). And some other sides to add on." He said, scrolling on the menu. You hummed, snuggling into your pillow.

Seonghwa has a large appetite so you could usually order a variety of food and he'll help you with finishing them.

"Go to sleep." Seonghwa put his phone down, turning to you. You hummed again, already starting to drift off. Seonghwa was always encouraging you to sleep more since you've had insomnia for as long as you can remember. It could build up and lead to you sleeping for a few days. Hence, you being sleep deprived the other day.

"Hwa, it doesn't mean anything, right?" You asked, half asleep.

"What?" He was confused by your question and what you were referring to all of a sudden.

"The flowers... He's just nice, right? I shouldn't be mulling over it or thinking that it means anything more." You clarified. Seonghwa was quiet for a while.

"If he meant something else, I'm sure he would have said it. Yunho wouldn't do one thing and mean another." He said.

"You sure?"

"We've known the guy for a like two weeks, (y/n). There's nothing really to be sure about when we barely know him. I'm just stating based off intuition and observation so far." He chuckled.

-

Yunho smiled stiffly as he sat at the table with his parents and younger brother at their family favourite steakhouse. He wasn't listening to their conversation at all, only plastering a smile but his mind was elsewhere.

"Hyung, what's up with you? Your head is in the clouds." Yunho's younger brother, Gunho, teased. Yunho sighed, his head wasn't in the clouds, just focused on something else.

Or rather, someone else.

"Is it work, Yunho? Something with the restaurant?" His mother asked. Yunho shook his head.

"No. It's nothing, don't worry about it. Sorry for not paying attention." He bowed his head, cutting into his steak and taking a bite.

"Which reminds me, we should pop by for dinner one of these days. You know, to support hyung." Gunho suggested to the two. It was true, Yunho's family had not visited since the opening.

"That's a good idea. But we don't want to pressure you, Yunho. We'll go when you're ready." His father smiled.

"Thanks, appa. I'm confident in my team. So please, when you're all available." Yunho smiled. His father was a lawyer and his mother was an accountant. Yunho knew that they were always trying to make up for the fact that they were never around while the two were growing up. But Yunho never really blamed them.

Them being busy also meant that Yunho was able to form such a deep and rich bond with his grandmother. And that was something Yunho would never, ever regret.

"That is exciting, I can't wait to see how things are." Mrs Jeong said with a big grin.

"As long as you're not helping out in the kitchen, hyung." Gunho snorted, making Yunho glare at his younger brother.

"I'm a lot better now. I'm slowly learning small things to help out in the kitchen. My head chef is always ready to teach me." Yunho rolled his eyes.

"Oh, tell us about him." Mr Jeong said in interest.

"Her, actually. She's an amazing chef, the whole team is. They work well together and you can tell when you watch them. It is almost like watching an orchestra play." Yunho explained.

"They must have been working together for a long while then." Mrs Jeong said.

"Yeah, they've known each other for a long time to know each other's likes, dislikes, work habits, skills, everything. I think you will be just as impressed by them as I was when you come to the restaurant." Yunho smiled proudly.

"That's good, Yunho. I'm glad you found a team that can work well not only amongst themselves but with you and your friends too. Good job." Mr Jeong commended.

"Thanks, appa. I couldn't have done it without my friends as well, especially Mingi." Yunho chuckled.

"Ah, you and Mingi hyung are inseparable as always." Gunho said.

"We just went to his mother's restaurant the other day to eat and see how she is doing. She sounded so happy that her son is working in the food industry too." Mrs Jeong giggled.

Of course with Mingi and Yunho being best friends since middle school, their parents were also close friends.

"San's father was proposing a fishing trip for all the fathers soon." Mr Jeong laughed.

"The mothers should take a trip too while the fathers go fishing. You all deserve it." Yunho said, glad that his parents were friends with his friends' parents. Mrs Jeong smiled softly, her son was always so caring and considerate of others. Mr Jeong nodded in agreement, raising his glass to clink it against Yunho's.

"But Yunho, I take it the restaurant has been well?"

"Yes. Business has been going well and we've been receiving lots of compliments and good reviews despite being so new. I pray it'll only go up from here." Yunho said.

"We know you can do it. If you ever need any help, you know you can always ask us." Mr Jeong said.

"I know, I am very grateful for that. But I hope to not rely on both of you, I want to be independent in this." Yunho spoke firmly.

"You're right, that's a good thing to want." Mrs Jeong reached over to pat the back of Yunho's hand. Yunho nodded his head with a hum, holding his mother's hand.

"However, you should make sure to have some time for yourself. Find a girlfriend." Mrs Jeong added.

"O-Omma!" Yunho stuttered nervously.

"Aren't you just gonna marry Mingi hyung?" Gunho laughed. Yunho kicked Gunho under the table, too flustered to respond back to the teasing. Yunho's mother was always invested in Yunho's love life, encouraging him to 'venture out' and find a partner.

"Dear, he's too busy running the restaurant. He doesn't have time to find a partner now." Mr Jeong said, taking a bite of his food. Yunho agreed with his father.

"Plus, I'm not in a rush to find a girlfriend, omma..." Yunho muttered.

"I can only dream, can't I? Both you and Gunho don't have girlfriends, I want a daughter to pamper and do girl things with."

"What sort of girl things?" Yunho asked.

"Oh, you know. We can go shopping, do mani pedis together, go get our hair done, all that stuff you can do with a daughter. You boys never want to do anything with me." Mrs Jeong scoffed.

"Omma, sounds like you have your own motive in wanting us to get a girlfriend." Gunho pointed out.

"Of course I want you both to be happy too! Who knows, maybe Yunho can settle down and start a family." She said.

"Alright, I think we're thinking a little far here, omma. Who knows if I'm going to settle down with the next person I date? But anyway, I'm currently focused on getting the restaurant up and running before looking for a partner." Yunho spoke. Honestly, he hadn't thought about settling down or starting a family.

"Like I said, I can only dream." Mrs Jeong sighed dispairingly.

"Look, omma, when the time comes and I meet the right person, then I'll start thinking about all that." Yunho said, trying to somewhat appease his mother.

"Sorry to say hyung, but you can be a little... how do you say? Oblivious when it comes to girls." Gunho snickered.

"What do you mean? I'm not oblivious." Yunho said.

"When a girl tries to flirt with you, you always think it's just her being a nice person in general. Meaning, you don't flirt back or reject her. You're too impartial to everyone you meet." Gunho explained.

"It's good to be impartial. And being nice isn't a bad thing, Gunho ah." Yunho crossed his arms.

"But you never know, someone might misunderstand your kindness as something else. Let's hope your future girlfriend doesn't get jealous."

~

Series masterlist

#kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop series #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez series #ateez x reader #ateez yunho #yunho ateez #yunho #yunho scenarios #yunho series #yunho x reader #yunho x y/n #yunho x you #jeong yunho #jeong yunho x reader #jeong yunho scenarios #jeong yunho series #ateez imagines

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Kinktober Special Part 2

Mo’s Kinktober Special

The Crew’s Whore (Part 2) (+18)

Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your power fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy. 

Pairing: Franky x afab!reader

WC: 3100 I'm so sorry

TW: IS THIS A SAFE SPACE?!?! Banging a robot, alcohol consumption oral sex (m receiving), vaginal sex, crying, forced orgasm? face shot, heavy use of pet names, cringe, his body is a sex toy idk, cringe, so much cringe, please forgive me I love him, idc

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Robo-boning uder the cut:

Chapter 2: The Cyborg

It was a breezy evening aboard the Sunny as you sipped from your wine glass while leaning forward against the railing of the deck. Sanji had once again prepared the crew a fantastic meal and you felt full and comfortable with the cool sea wind blowing through your hair. It was late, most of the crew had returned to their quarters. Zoro was up in his crows nest dojo having a late night workout, Franky had returned to his workshop to fiddle with some new cannon technology, Luffy was in a food coma and snoring loudly laid up against the mast, and even Sanji had finished dishes with Robin’s help and excused himself to bed. Robin was always so helpful with the dishes with her Devil Fruit powers and all. 

You were alone out here with only the sounds of the waves crashing against the hull and your captain’s aggressive snoring. You thought about how you missed your old life, but also how happy you were with the Straw Hats. You loved your job at the brothel and it certainly was less dangerous… but this new life? It was… exhilarating. You loved it. 

*I think I need something stronger* you thought to yourself…

You looked at your empty wine glass and walked into the galley for something more exciting. It was spotlessly clean and empty. You opened up the liquor cabinet and perused your options. Vodka, tequila, gin, rum.. hmm… 

*It’s a pirate’s life for me, I guess.* You giggled and grabbed the bottle of spiced rum off the shelf. You realized that taking it straight from the bottle was a little barbaric for a late night solo cocktail and went to the fridge for a mixer. Orange juice, mineral water, nothing suitable to mix with rum. You wracked your brain, what would go well with rum?  A lightbulb went off in your brain, there’s an obvious choice. Cola! 

Rum and cola went together like peanut butter and jelly, like pancakes and syrup, like tea and honey. Your mouth watered at the prospect of a tasty drink… You knew there wasn’t any cola in the kitchen, but you knew exactly where it was. You filled a glass from the cabinet with ice and held it in one hand and the bottle of rum in the other. You pushed past the swinging galley door towards the hallway that went to the center of the ship. You skipped down a flight of stairs until you reached a wooden door marked with blue cartoonish stars. Blue lettering adorned the top of the doorway reading ‘Franky House.’ 

*So nostalgic of him* you chuckled to yourself before knocking twice. 

“What’s up?” You hear Franky’s booming voice from the other side of the door. You opened the door and sidled in with your glass and bottle in hand. 

“Oh heyyy pretty thing, what are you doing up at this hour?” Franky turned on his stool next to his workbench to look at you. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” You smiled at him as you strode confidently towards the fridge you spotted in the corner of his room. “Fancied myself a rum and cola, figured you’d be the guy to call about finding a bottle of cola around here.” 

“Yeah babe! Mi cola es su cola!” He flashed you a winning smile before he turned back towards his work bench and continued fiddling with whatever gadget he was working on before your intrusion. You grabbed a bottle of brown syrupy liquid from the fridge and brought it over to him. You said nothing, just pointed the head of the bottle in his direction. He barely looked up as he reached his large hard out and popped the cap off of the bottle for you. You smiled. 

“Thanks, handsome.” 

You returned to the desk in the middle of the room where you had set your rum and glass, setting the cola down. You picked up the rum and poured a GENEROUS amount over the ice. You topped it off with the freshly popped cola and brought the glass to your lips. Holy shit you over did it with the rum but damn, that’s good. You took a few more sips and let out a big sigh. 

“Rough day, sweet cheeks?” Franky laughed after hearing your exasperated sigh. 

“Hmm.. I guess. Just feeling a bit nostalgic is all.”

Franky’s hands continued to manipulate the mechanical item on his work bench.

“Yeah I get it. It happened to all of us, ya have this whole life and then all of a sudden you’re a pirate. It’s super weird. You’ll get used to it, y/n, we all do. We can talk about it, if ya like.” He doesn’t turn around. He had always been so good at expressing his emotions, such a tender and kind soul. He knew how you felt, and wanted you to feel heard. 

*Such a sweet heart for a robot* you thought to yourself. But he wasn’t a robot, he was still a man. Sure, his body was more metal than flesh at this point, but it didn’t take away from what a gentle spirit he had. You started to wonder what other human instincts he had left… 

“Honestly Frank? I’m kind of trying not to think about it. What are you working on?” You walk over to his work bench and lean up next to him, against the table backwards, able to see the item on the table but facing his body. 

“Oh this? Nothing totally crazy, just something I was thinking about for my forearm cannon. You see this part here…” He was excitedly telling you about his work, clearly passionate about his science. You nod and give him “hmm”’s here and there. You pour another strong drink and bring it back over to Franky’s work bench. You set the glass in front of him.

“I can’t be the only one indulging tonight, right?” You say seductively as you slide the glass towards his massive chest. 

“Well little lady, I’m usually a cola purist, but I guess one drink won’t hurt.” Franky grabs the glass in his large hand and slams the drink in one gulp. He hisses out, not prepared for how strong you made the cocktail. 

“My god girl, you’re trying to get me drunk?!”

You laugh out loud and pour yourself another drink. 

“No no, just trying to get more comfortable!” You laugh again. “Now tell me more about this hydraulic, fusion combustion, thingy again…” 

You say this as you set yourself down on Franky’s wide lap, drink in hand. 

“Okay so if you can see this piece right here…” Franky continued explaining his latest project to you as you became distracted by his handsome features. He had a strong, chilled jaw, defined abs, incredible thighs and you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to his swim briefs. Was it still real? Did he have anything or was he like a doll?

You let your thoughts get the better of you and you set your glass down on the workbench. You slid to your knees in between Franky’s spread legs and let your head rest on his thigh. 

“WoAAhhh sweet thing, something else on your mind?” He dropped what he was working on and lifted his sunglasses onto his head as he looked down at you. He leaned back. You giggled up at him while stroking his crotch slowly. 

“mmmm yes. How could I not wonder? I’ve thought about it so much. Never had someone like you before…” You drew your face closer to the growing bulge in his swim briefs as you palm him. 

“Are you sure? How much do you want it? It might be too much for ya, doll face…” Franky puts his large palm on the side of your face, seemingly a bit concerned. 

“I want it. I can take it, please show me.” Your fingers worked at the hem of his tight black speedo before he helped you bring it down to his ankles. You pull them all the way off and return to your kneeled position between his legs. 

“Wow…” 

His cock was so gorgeous. It had to be real. It was so long, thinner than you’d like, but the length was truly impressive. The base was decorated with tufts of blue hair. 

“Is this good for ya, babe? Tell me what ya like and I can make it happen." Franky stroked your hair as you were staring at his cock from between his knees. 

“What?” You didn’t know what he was talking about. Was he that confident in his sexual abilities? You felt your cunt clench in anticipation. 

“No, this," He nods his head down at his erect cock. "I can make it anything you want. Too big?” You stared up at him with wide eyes. 

“Want bigger? Maybe you’re a little size queen?” Franky smirked at you with those last words. 

“No no,” You stuttered out. “Could you… could you maybe make it a little… thicker?” You were so embarrassed, you felt so silly asking for this man to change up his own cock for you. 

“Of course doll, if you want to be stretched out real good, who am I to deny you?” Franky smiled as he pressed his metal nose. 

You stared at his erect penis as it became girthier right before your eyes. 

“No way…” You gasped quietly to yourself. 

“Yes way baby! You really thought I would rebuild my own body and not give myself an incredible dick?” He grinned down at you between his legs. “Now… where were we?”

You felt his hand gently push the back of your head towards his newly engorged cock. You were snapped out of your stupor and grabbed the thick length with both hands and began to pump it slowly. 

“Perfect….” Franky cooed at you as you stroked him. 

You leaned forward and took his tip into your mouth. He groaned loudly. You knew he would be loud, he always is, why would now be any different?

You gradually took more and more of his cock into your mouth and bobbed your head up and down. With each pull backwards you slurped and dragged your tongue across the bulbous head of his dick. 

“Fuck, shit, just like that…” He tried so hard not to ram his hips into your face, knowing it would scare you off. His body was too strong. 

“Shit baby… You’re way too good at this… get up here and let me stuff you.” 

Once again your pussy squeezed around nothing, pushing out a drip of your arousal. Franky leaned down and grabbed your hips to pull you upward. 

In a moment you were on your back on Franky’s workbench, his projects swept to the the floor with one brush of his huge forearm. He was man handling your body to pull all your clothes off of you. You lay back down on the table, now fully bare in front of him.

“Franky, fuck me. Please. I want it.” 

He hovered over you, massive body eclipsing yours. 

“And you’re sure? I told you it might be too much… Once I start… well it can just be a lot for someone who isn't used to it.” Franky asked you for the last time, making sure you knew what you were getting into. 

“Yes, Frank. I’m so sure.” 

He pushed you down forcefully, but you protested by rising to your elbows and catching his lips in a wet kiss. He accepted your kiss and forced his tongue past your spit covered lips. You groaned at his dominance, such a change from how you were used to being with your other lovers. 

After making out for several moments, you whined a bit too loudly when he pinched at your nipple. 

“Okay okay needy girl, I’ll give you what you want now. But don’t say I didn’t warn you…” 

He pushes your thighs up with one hand as he lines his perfect cock up with your sopping hole with the other. He squeezes himself in slowly. 

“Holy FUCK, my GOD Franky…!” You shout out as he sinks balls deep inside of you, having you in a mating press with one hand due to his large stature. 

“Oh pretty lady, we haven’t even started.” He begin to pull out and shove himself back into your cunt, slick coating his cock more and more with each thrust. You slammed your eyes shut in pleasure, his dick was hitting all the perfect spots inside of you almost like it was made perfectly to fit your body… oh wait… it was. 

All of a sudden you felt a new sensation along with his heft length splitting you open. Was he… vibrating? Your neck snapped up and your eyes shot open to meet his above you. 

“Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. Had to add something for the ladies pleasure, right?”

“FRANKY!” Your body lurched forward and grabbed his biceps. You had never felt anything like this before. It’s like your body was lit up by electricity. The smooth drag of his vibrating cock against your g-spot was complete sensory overload. 

Franky chuckled. He continued railing into your tiny body, chasing his own pleasure, not worried that you’d reach yours. 

“Frank I’m going to-!” You yelped as your body tumbled over the edge in pleasure. It was the most intense orgasm you’ve ever experienced. Your spasming cunt pushed out your release all over your lovers abdomen and legs.

“Wow doll face, I never thought you’d be a squirter!” Franky laughed over you as he drilled his hips into yours further, not concerned about your recovery from your intense orgasm. Your body was limp in his hold now, not able to produce any sort of coherent phrase. 

“Franky wait, I feel like-Ah!“ 

You were cumming again. It was only a few moments after your last orgasm and your center was  squeezing and creaming on Franky’s thick robotic cock again. You had lost full control over your body, it was like nothing you’d ever experienced. You screamed. You had no idea what words you were trying to scream, but you screamed. 

“You like that, huh baby? How about one more for me? I think you can do it, right?” Tears streamed down your face as you laid on his workbench, boneless. Your cunt was throbbing in both pain and pleasure. You were being thrust into so forcefully that your body slid back and forth on the table, your breasts basically hitting you in the chin as they bounced so aggressively. 

“Mmmm.. Hmm. FUCK! Yes I can do it, I can take it!” You felt drunk on pleasure, barely able to keep your eyes focused. The sensations in your pussy were unlike anything you’d ever experienced. As your cyborg lover pounded into you at an impossible speed, you felt the familiar wave of pressure bubble up from your center, but this time far more intense than the others. 

“There it is baby, I can feel it, I knew you could do it for me sweet thing.” He coaxed you into tipping over the edge. Your back arched and you shrieked up at him. You vision went completely white for a moment as you felt your massive release splattering against Franky’s thighs and cock. Wet, sloppy noises filled the room as you felt your cunt start to tingle with numbness and overstimulation, 

“Can’t… it’s too much!”  You whine loudly at him as you make a feeble attempt to push at his abs, not entirely sure what you wanted yet. 

“That’s just fine doll face, I’ve got something else in mind anyway.” He flashes you a huge grin before grabbing you around your ribs and setting you down on your knees on the floor in front of him.

“Open wide, pretty lady!” He held your hair in a makeshift ponytail with one hand and stroked his massive cock in front of your face with the other. 

Obviously after 3 earth-shattering orgasms you were putty in his large hands. You stick your tongue out and look up at him. After seeing the makeup smeared on your face from spit and sweat and tears, there was no way he could hold back any longer. 

“Fuuuuuuuck…!” He groaned out as he painted your eager, wrecked face with simply so much cum. It dripped off your cheeks and your chin as you happily kept your mouth open for him. He finally finishes his release and taps his cock on your tongue, so you can taste the last bit. 

“Shit you look so super like this!” Franky beamed down at you covered in his thick cum. You grin back up at him, delirious from exhaustion, cum dribbling down your neck. “But I guess I can’t leave ya like that huh?” He grabbed a clean rag from a drawer in his workbench and started wiping his seed off your face, you were so exhausted your eyes fell closed and you held your head in his free hand. 

“Hold on hold on doll, I’m almost done then I’ll put ya to bed.” Franky finished cleaning your face and picked up up off your knees and set you down on his bed. He tucked you in and went to put back on the little clothing he had on in the first place. He moved towards the door of his room. 

“Well thanks for the break, little lady! I have a repair I need to finish up on the deck tonight, but you get some rest.” Franky says from over his shoulder on the way out to the rest of the ship. You close your eyes and relax your bruised and exhausted body into Franky’s mattress. 

"Hey, if you’re feeling up to it when I get back, we can have a round 2! You haven’t even seen half the super stuff I can do, I just went easy on you!” He shouted as he left the room with his toolbox and the door closed behind him. 

Your eyes snapped open.

“WHAT?!”

---

a/n I again, am so sorry lol but Franky needs more love. Justice for Franky Fuckers.

#one piece smut #one piece #one piece fanfiction #one piece anime #one piece fanart #one piece fandom #one piece live action #one piece netflix #cyborg franky #franky #one piece fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n

[klarolineashur1919]

La Tua Cantante Series

Airpods Save Lives

Demetri Pov

"The meat smells divine today" Felix practically hums out. Whenever the tours came it gave us some kind of excitement. Not that any of us would admit it, we were all so bored. I in a way admired Felix's ability to make excitement from anything even though it could be immature at times. Alec and Jane kept themselves preoccupied in ways that I could tolerate but took years to stomach. I on the otherhand kept myself satisfied with the best thing the world has to offer..women. But even that lately has not had the same effect it usually has for me.

"Hmm" I merely acknowledged until I stopped in my tracks when I smelled the group that was coming. It did smell divine but not how the tours usually smell.

This was different.

It was also extremely overpowering. I wanted to search for and ravish whoever the smell belonged to. Fresh oranges, sweet wine, lavender and ink.

"You can tell someone from this group is rather tasty can't you" Could Felix smell it? Did he feel as I did at this moment? The craving of something unknown. But we were about to find out as the group entered the hall. Me and Felix moved to the side by the assistants desk. The group strolled in with Heidi at the front as usual.

"Demetri" She said sultry trying to get my attention as I didn't even spare her glance worth while. I scanned the group it felt like it went on forever of unwanted faces until my eyes found her.

It was her scent. She wore a orange scented perfume, she just had a glass of wine for lunch, her floral flowy dress was lavender scented from cleaning and she had small smudges of ink on her almost spotless delicate hands.

It all made her so intoxicating.

She was stunning. With her long, slightly wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, and a curvy hourglass figure that was complemented by her slender frame.

"Now she's a tasty little thing" Felix said a little too loud that she had to have heard it but her expression did not change from the somewhat bored one she had. I realized she wasn't in awe nor had the enthusiastic interest that everyone else in the tour group had by Heidi's power of persuasion. Then I watched as her eyes darted to something in the side hallway making her leave the group.

"Well thats rare" Felix somewhat interested in the human making a move in her direction before my arm shot up.

"I got it, I'll meet you in the throne room" Without looking at him I make my way towards her.

I watch her as she is analyzing or I should say scrutinizing the Portrait of a Young Man painting. It wasn't my favorite painting of Raphael's but I didn't think it deserved the amount of scrutiny she was giving it. Her nose scrunched, the lines on her forehead and her eyes almost closed by how hard she was trying to see the even smallest details of the painting.

"Give peace a chance..Let the fear you have fall away" I jumped slightly at the sudden angelic melodic voice that came from her as she stepped back trying to look at it from a different angle. Her hands rested at her bag that laid on her hip preparing to open it. I faked a cough to make my presence known but she did not turn to me as she took her phone out from her purse. I moved towards her quickly taking her phone from her before she was able to take a picture.

"Umm excuse me" She said in a sweet surprised voice as she turned to me. If I had a breath it would have stopped as I looked into her eyes.

They were so blue they reminded me of the Aegean Sea.

They reminded me of a home I once knew and I thought long forgotten.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" She said gently grabbing her phone from my hand. My eyes looked like hers once I think. Now they're not as pretty.

"It's a medical condition...you shouldn't have left the group" She placed her hair behind her ear showing a white plug in it. She took it out.

"Is this real?" She pointed to the painting. She hasn't broken eye contact from me nor my eyes from her. This was quite an anomaly for me.

"Yes what makes you question the authenticity?"I say amused by this creature. I usually take human girls in the privacy of dark corners and be done with it. But her...I wanted to make this last.

"Well for one it's been lost for almost a hundred years, this is a Raphael painting correct?" She says trying to be polite but about to burst from this discovery she found.

"Correct, artist are you?" I said conversational but she precedes to put the plug back in her ear. She turns from me much to my displeasure as I watched her hips start to sway away from me.

"Architect major with an art history minor" She said walking in the opposite direction of where she should be going but stopping in her tracks almost immediately at the next painting. She does the same act as the last much to my amusement. She starts huffing in and out analyzing every detail of the Nativity with St. Francis and St. Lawrence. I make my way over to her. My shoulder an inch from hers as I stood facing the painting as she did. She gives me a side eye understanding I wasn't going to leave her. She goes to her ear pressing on the plugs.

"Is this a replica?" She says now finally suspicious of her surroundings if she wasnt before.

"They're all real...love" I stare down at her as she comes closer to me. Every fiber of my being was restraining myself from ending this. I wanted to relish this, savoring it like one does a fine wine.

"Are you in the mafia?" She whispers and I laugh heartily at the question.

"Now what would give you that idea?" I say coyly as I lean closer to her, my eyes landing on her slender neck. Her pretty little neck.

"Because this painting was supposedly stolen by the mafia" She said matter a factly moving from me realizing how close I was to her. I clenched my jaw at the distance between us. I wanted us closer. I had the feeling even if I skin to skin with her wouldn't be close enough for me. But she seemed absolutely uninterested in me, enamored with what was around her.

"Violet, blue, green, red to keep me at arm's length don't work..You try to push me out..But I just find my way back in...Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out...I win" She gives a mumbled hum of the words not fully singing them out knowing that I'm there close behind. She accepts that fact along with that all the paintings she sees are real. She doesn't analyze them viciously like she did before. Now just taking them in like they should be. But I am analyzing every detail of her. The flutter of her eyelashes, the curve of her hip and the way her hair bounces as she walks. She turns her head to me behind her, giving me an excellence view of her perfectly structured jawline.

"Are you art thieves?" She says innocently genuinely curious. I chuckle at her guess. I look at her ear looking at the plug realizing sound was coming from them.

"What are those things?" She looked at me confused. I lift my hand slowly towards her tapping the back of my finger lightly against one of the plugs.

"Oh..they're airpods" She looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I had absolutely no idea "they're like earplugs or headphones." I mouthed a little "oh" as she let out a little giggle at my ignorance.

"I'll have to warn Heidi about those" I say more to myself as me and her walked side by side down the hall, further and further away from the throne room. We're getting close to a intersection, one hall leads to a cellar and the other leads to an exit. Decisions...Decisions.

"Was Heidi the lady in charge of the tour?" I simply nod while I think of the fact this girls life is in my hands. Do I truly want to snuff out the sun? I'm quite thoughtful about the decision as I firmly placed my hands behind my back.

"She's kinda an airhead isn't she?" I whip my head towards her uncontrollably crackling at her statement.

"Heidi?" I say absolutely bewildered by the statement. I don't think Heidi has ever been described as an airhead?

"Well I know that is kinda mean. I really am not into girl shaming but..she has all this to show"She twirled around then kept walking "and she said a lot of words with really nothing of substance behind them. I did listen a little to her in and out...I don't know I preferred music over her" My hands tighten behind my back as I stare at her. Her hair when she spun I got a delightful whiff of her shampoo.Citrus. Fresh oranges. Her blood would taste so sweet.

"Like this castle has to be from the 12th century-" She looked at me curiously as I stared at her clavicle. That would be a wonderful place to take a first bite.

"11th" I muttered out. We made it to the intersection, cellar for a drink or exit for her life.

"Oh" She tilted her head up to the ceiling an spun slowly on her heel around "I can picture that..there is some roman designs" She smiled to herself. Her eyes sparkled. It's funny I lived in this castle going on a thousand years and always found it a dull place mostly except when we used to have parties. But in one day she saw the beauty in it.

"Are you a lover of Artemisia Gentileschi?" I asked as she was about to turn down the hallway to the cellar, stopped to look at me.

"Yes...why?" She smirked cutely. I smile at her for giving me that answer. I take her hand in mine and lead her through the hallway with the exit.

"Hey how do I know you're not taking me in some dark room to have your way with me" She said half jokingly. I just smirk to myself. She would be so delicious but for some reason it seems like it would be a waste. It wouldn't even be a minute before her life would be gone and she would be gone. Her beauty, her smile, her voice..everything about her I could just take in an instant if I chose to.

"Your hand is so cold" She did a little tug on it. I turn to her and say nothing. I stare in her eyes for a moment and she looks at me amused.

"So if I'm ever found alive and they ask me the name of the assailant, what should I tell them?" I winced as she dropped her hand from mine before the question. I wanted her to touch me.

"Demetri"I slowly drawl out "And when I see your face on the news what name will I see?"

"Nina" It almost came out as a whisper but I heard it. As I also could hear the screams start but she didn't seem to hear them.

"Here we are" I stop in front of our designated painting and she started to laugh at it. The Madonna and the child was one of our many Artemisia Gentileschi paintings but Jane had all of her famous ones on the other side of the castle that was where I didnt want her to be.

"Really out of her paintings this is the one you have?" She giggles as I just look down at my shoes like a boy. She does stop giggling to appreciate the painting eventually.

"She looks so tired" She says more to herself than to me. Then I really look at the painting myself to see what she means. I see it too in the mother's eyes. I never noticed that before probably never cared. I watch her as she looks over the painting really taking in ever detail of it.

"You should paint me it would last longer" I look down again with a smirk.

"Can I?" I say more flirting than serious. She turns to me blushing and my smirk deepens.

"What am I going to be your Rose to you Jack?" She leans closer to me making start to tense even though I was taken back by the reference. I need to brush up on current entertainment.

"Ahh-" I freeze as I can sense someone coming.

I look behind me seeing the reason why we're here..the exit.

I take her hand and hurry her to the door. We go down stairs and stairs. I have to be mindful of my speed seeing I had to keep a human one. Something came over me that I had to get her out that was my only thought at this moment.

"Where are we going?" But her question is answered when I open a door to the outside practically throwing her out. Then the sun light making me step back into the darkness.

"Wait" She places her hand on the door before I close it and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Will I see you again?" She almost whines out.

"Yes but don't come back here..meet me at the front of the clock tower at night fall...goodbye" I said it quickly as I slowly closing the door.

"Goodbye" I heard quietly right before the door closed. I regretted how it ended but there was reasoning behind the abrupt departing.

"Well this is quite unusual behavior...for you" Felix leaned against the wall at the top of the stairs.

"The girl didn't hear or see anything, no laws were broken" I say stiffly making my way past him.

"That may be but the why is what I'm curious about" he hanged his head over my shoulder mischievously. He wasn't going to let this go.

"It just felt like a waste" I shrug looking almost dazed not wanting to think what I had just done and the why.

"A waste...yes a waste of food. Bloody Demetri if you didn't want her you could've given her to me. But Im surprised why didnt you want her?"He was going to nag and nag until he got an answer to his liking.

"I wanted her...but it just felt as it would have been to quick" This was making me nervous. I haven't felt nervous since the incident with the Cullens. But this was a different kind of nervous, I was worried for her.

"Fine then I'll meet her later at the clock tower-" If on instinct I slammed Felix against the wall my hand around his throat.

"She's mine...I'll take care of it" I shove him back stalking away.

She was mine.

I hated to admit it but I knew it to be true.

She is my cantante.

#demetri volturi #demetri volturi x reader #demetri volturi imagine #twilight imagines #twilight #twilight saga #the twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #Demetri volturi x oc #volturi fanfiction #volturi x reader #volturi imagines #volturi guard #the volturi

[darthstitch]

fic (history class cryptids): how do you justify I'm mystified by the ways of your heart

Hob Gadling likes to cook.

In the beginning, it was, obviously, a survival skill. He still has memories of helping his Mam prepare the rabbit he'd caught for dinner for a tasty stew or a pie. He remembered walking into the woods with his sisters to look for wild vegetables and herbs, even mushrooms, Mam having taught them what was safe to eat.

"Old family recipes these are," she would tell them. "Passed on from me own mum and from me gran." Her brown eyes, the same ones Hob had, would twinkle. "Did ye know that it was the little folk who'd taught our family to cook? Sensible creatures they are, knew the important things were a warm hearth, a good meal and a full belly. They'd eat seven times a day, they would."

Seven times a day was bliss for all of them, when sometimes they could barely scrape up three.

And she'd gather them round, Hob and his sisters, with even the baby listening in rapture from his cradle, as she made dinner, all of them helping.

Hob still knows how to make his mother's best stews and pie. A fine spring day was usually the best time to make them.

Another kitchen-related memory was being with his dear Eleanor, who'd learned to cook at her Gran's knee. The scents of certain spices and herbs were enough to send him back to Eleanor's kitchen, of her stories about how Gran had perhaps charmed her Granddad with a certain dish and how Eleanor would be serving that for dinner, a toast to that redoubtable lady's memory. How Hob had laughed at the naughty twinkle in his wife's eyes, caught her by the waist to her not completely indignant squeals, silenced her with kisses that she had eagerly welcomed.

Their Robyn had been born nine months after that dinner, to the very day.

Eleanor had hoped to pass her Gran's recipes own to her children, to her own daughter but she had been absolutely delighted that her husband had wanted to learn everything as well.

As it turned out, Hob would be the only one to remember the recipes now. And the stories.

Eleanor would not be the last cook that Hob would learn from. There was Yasoda, with her naan and her wonderfully fragrant curries. It had been one of those times he did not regret being a hired sword, protecting their merchant family from thieves and brigands as they traveled on the Silk Road and on the seas.

Hob had also spent some time in New York, with his war buddies Fredo and Michael, who'd shared with him the best Italian dishes they'd learned from their Mama who had originally come from Sicily. There was also Ruyi and her family recipes from Canton and Szechuan, just before she'd been carried off to the Forbidden City to be an Emperor's bride. And he'd been there in Japan, of course, joining Kenshin and his family as they had all discovered sukiyaki for the first time at the Akabeko, as it had just been a recent invention for Japan's Meiji era.

Hob remembered them all, every tale, every memory, each time he decided to cook something he'd learned from them.

And to be honest, that was really how he went about feeding Dream of the Endless.

Unavoidably detained, Dream had said at first, when he'd finally shown up at the New Inn, 33 years and a few odd days late (Hob wasn't counting them to the minute, obviously not). Those beautiful twilight eyes had dimmed and Hob knew all the signs of trauma and distress when he saw them. It had been Dream's turn to tell him his own tale, dragged out at first one word at a time, beginning with his own name.

Dream of the Endless. Morpheus. Lord of Dreams and Nightmares.

(Hob would learn about the Prince of Stories title much later, but that was a tale for another day.)

Over a hundred years spent naked in that glass cage, without air, without water to drink or food to eat, with nothing except for the slow torment that his own mind could devise for him. Unavoidably detained, with the barest hint from Dream himself that somehow Dream had deserved it for his own stubbornness and pride.

Hob didn't know what infuriated him more.

He'd taken one look at his friend, who had looked even more gaunt and thin than he'd been the last time they'd seen each other, and had to visibly restrain himself from dragging Dream into his kitchen, sit him at the dining counter, and make him something to eat.

Feeding Dream was an alternative from trying to find Roderick Burgess' grave, so Hob could dig up the rotten bastard to bring him back to life and kill him all over again. What? Hob had favors he could call in, even if he mostly kept away from any else that smacked of the supernatural and the occult.

"I can survive without sustenance," Dream suddenly said, watching Hob's hands clench on the table. "And those who had me imprisoned have been suitably punished."

"I'm that obvious, eh?" Hob's lips twitched into a wry smile.

"Your daydreams were a little…colorful."

"God's teeth, man, warn a fellow before you do that."

"I do not make it a habit to peer into your dreamscape, Hob Gadling. Only that they're a little … loud … at the moment." Those blue eyes darkened just a little bit, the color of the ocean under a moonlit sky (God's wounds, Hob was turning into ruddy fucking Shaxberd, horrible prose and all). "Also rather bloodthirsty."

Hob huffed. "Well, that I'm not sorry for, duck." Christ, he'd barely swallowed back the urge to actually call him love, a word that was just aching to trip itself out of his careless tongue. "It's either the sword or the kitchen knife and since I can't avenge you anymore, I'll just feed you instead."

"I have eaten something since I've gotten out," Dream protested. But Hob almost had him, he could tell.

"This would be…?"

Dream looked properly abashed. "A bucket of fried chicken from a dream. It said… KFC, I think? I was not inclined to be discerning at that point."

Hob facepalmed. "No. NOPE. Not fucking dreamspace KFC. Instead, I'm going to cook you something. Maybe some congee to start, the way I'd learned it from Ruyi or she'd haunt me and say I bring shame to all her ancestors if I don't do it justice."

"And who is Ruyi?"

And that was how Hob Gadling, entirely by accident, discovered how to get Dream of the Endless to actually eat something. A story, along with whatever he was cooking, and watching Dream adorably wrinkle his nose before trying whatever it was that Hob set before him.

He liked the congee, redolent with ginger and green onion.

Soon enough, it became their own thing. Dream would visit, Hob would make him something and there would be a story to go with it. It soon became shared tasks in the kitchen, handing His Darkness a kitchen knife and something to chop. Or maybe it was dishes to wash and dry.

Hob was very pleased when his darling friend soon lost the gaunt look, color dusting across those fine cheekbones.

Somewhere along the way, duck and friend became love, dove and darling. In between curries and fragrant rice, pies and sorbets, stews and soups, there were kisses exchanged, gently chiding his owne hertis rote to stop that nuzzling at his neck or dinner would be ruined, but oh, gods, fine, yes, love, let me turn off the stove before we burn the house down and let me kiss you proper, hm?

Here were more kitchen memories to make, a tiny precious smile to coax out of his beloved, delighted laughter when Dream presented him with his own culinary creations, ridiculously proud to have mastered this skill as well, love in every bite.

There were new stories for them now, in Hob's own kitchen. And they'd be creating more, endlessly, if both of them had their way.

They would.

-end-

Footnote the First: Obviously, Hob's family had absolutely no relationship to the Little Folk who hid in comfortable holes in the ground, ate seven delicious meals a day, and had small magics that would help them hide from the Big Folk in a pinch. Whatever are you talking about?

Footnote the Second: It must be stated that Dream of the Endless took to domesticity like a duck to water, despite popular opinion. It drove his sibling to utter frustration, all that delicious want and need that had been bottled up with its matching plunge to despair and grief once thwarted, was now simply answered with equal fervor, causing a certain contentment and joy that had not been seen in millennia. It was nauseating. To say nothing of this whole fandom that had sprung around their ridiculous broody older brother, who was supposedly not the beauty of the family! And to top it all off, this fandom of desire-crazed humanity had been caused by their own grandchild, who shared her uncle's affinity for stories! This was an offense that could not be borne!

Footnote the Third:

Obviously, Hob Gadling has heard of Twilight. Who hasn't?

(Fine. He read the first book. It was not high literature but who didn't enjoy silly romantic stupid fluff every now and then?)

So he gets all the Edward Cullen jokes his students make when they first clap eyes on Dream. It's hilarious. Of course he thinks ol' Eddie-boy doesn't hold a candle to his darling.

And then, for once, jolly old England decides that there is SUCH A THING as sunlight and he gets to see Dream in the glorious sunshine.

Oh.

Oh.

OH.

Goddamn Eddie Cullen can keep his sparkles; Dream of the Endless glowed in the sunshine. And obviously, that was excuse enough for Professor Hob Gadling to steal some kisses.

Professor "Thomas Murphy" would like to point out that there was no need for kiss-stealing, as he was perfectly happy to bestow them upon his ridiculous husband whenever he wanted.

Footnote the Fourth:

Even Dream of the Endless needs to rest.

Once, he used to retreat to his own private chambers in the Castle. A bed, sheets softer and silkier than a whisper, coolness and calm and peace within. Alone and with no one to make demands upon him, no duty or burden to carry.

He contented himself with that, for a very long time.

Now, he find himself stumbling into the Waking, instinctively setting foot into a place that had been built for him by loving hands, where offerings of flowers and food and wine had been provided, where songs and stories were shared.

Dream seeks out a certain warm presence, smiles when he is coaxed to sit down. There are arms to hold him, kisses pressed to his hair, to his nose and lips. He nuzzles into a familiar scent, presses a kiss over a lovemark he had made just that morning.

"Hullo, love."

"Hello, husband mine."

Dream is home.

#dreamling #dream of the endless #hob gadling #the sandman #dream x hob #domesticity #i crack what i want #yes i'm posting this on ao3 #finally managed to corral these bunnies into some semblance of order #sorry not sorry desire #shhh nobody tell neil #these two idiots with their shared braincell

[hqmillioncorn]

The Forecast calls for an 100% chance of Love!!!!

"Wait a minute!!" Tilika stopped Babycorn just short of going out the door. "Let me take a look at you." She turned Babycorn around to face her. A pair of oversized pink glasses covered her face. They were oversized because they were Tilika's glasses. "That's your disguise?!" Babycorn nodded, "Yuppers!" she winked. "Yup-yup!" Cherrypit tried to wink but he just closed both his eyes. Ever since last year, Babycorn had to attend Valentiones in disguise just to avoid being surronded by potential suitors. Or 'pesky bugs' as Pupusa liked to call them. Tilika sighed, maybe covering her eyes would be enough? She hoped.

i wanted to write Butter Moontide belongs to @windupnamazu

It was a sunny day in Gridania, on a very busy day. 

And on that very busy day, a lone Vierafell walked forward, on a mission. 

A mission of love!

With a heart full of determination, Butter placed his hand on the city’s aetheryte and let himself be carried over to the center of Gridania’s Valentione’s celebrations. In his hands was the most important thing of all. A metal cookie tin. That rumbled with every wary step that Butter took forward. 

The cookie tin was filled to the brim with hand baked sugar cookies.

They weren’t just any regular sugar cookies baked by Butter however, oh no. These sugar cookies were special, they had been baked exactly a week ago to the day. Then they had been left outside to continue to bake in the sun for almost a whole day before being brought back in.

The incredibly specific reason for why Butter did this exactly all came back to a certain day when he had forgotten his freshly baked plate of cookies outside on a picnic table. 

In his defense, Pancake had fallen down and scraped her knee while playing tag and that took priority over some cookies he had just made. Then after he had brought Pancake inside to bandage her knee up the cookies simply continued to slip his mind. 

Until Babycorn wandered in, carrying a familiar plate in her hands and eating an equally familiar looking cookie. Cherrypit walked beside her. He was munching on a cookie in his oversized sleeves, much like a hamster would snack on a sunflower seed.

There was a huge smile on Babycorn’s face as she continued to eat cookies after cookie. Seeing such an expression on Babycorn was a rarity, especially for someone as grumpy as her.

“These cookies are so yummy!” Butter overheard her talking with Cherrypit. “They’re so tasty…” She paused, “I wonder who made them…?”

As Babycorn walked away, Butter could feel a tightness in his chest. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to tell her that those were his cookies, he had been the one to bake them! But no matter how hard he wanted to, he remained silent.

…That was until today!!

Today-! After years of building up courage, Butter was finally going to tell Babycorn that he had been the one to make those cookies she loved so much so many years ago.

This sudden burst of bravery came as a result of his spontaneous confession a few months ago. 

Butter never could have imagined he could ever ever work up the courage to tell Babycorn how he felt but now here he was! Twirling in place, with a metal tin full of cookies ready to talk with his crush and ask her if she wanted to hang out later too. 

He was now more confident than ever! Especially with the super secret intel he received yesterday. His super secret special intel, also known as Lunya Lanya, had let him know that Babycorn had told her that she would be running around Gridania today.

Apparently looking for any chocolate hearts that came from the ground, as Babycorn still didn’t really understand that sometimes people dropped their chocolate and she shouldn’t be eating them. To which Lunya told her to quit it about five years ago already but if there was anything Babycorn Corn was famous for, it was not listening. 

Even amidst the sea of people crowding around the Amphitheater Butter could still spot Babycorn from a mile away. There was a certain way the pom-pom on her head bounced when she walked, Butter had no idea why so many people hadn’t noticed this about her.

As Butter gently maneuvered around so many people (because twelve forbid he bump into people!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺) he still audibly apologized to ever person and object he gently grazed. Until his eyes finally fell upon the cutest little pom-pom swaying back and forth in a sea of people. 

In an instant Butter felt the butterflies in his stomach start to do backflips and frontflips. 

As Butter walked closer and closer he started to wonder why he wasn’t running back home and hiding under the covers to write in his diary about his perfect wedding with Babycorn. So far he had the decorations all thought out and the flowers picked out too, and if he ran away now maybe he could even come up with invitation design ideas.

Then before Butter knew it he was standing right in front of her. When he realized he was, Butter let out a little squeak in surprise. 

Cherrypit was the first to notice Butter, “Butts!! Butts!” He was wearing a fluffy pink coat that dragged on the ground where he walked. It was all covered in mud and dirt but Butter had a feeling that neither he or Babycorn really cared about that. 

“It’s Butts! Bababababuuts!!” Cherrypit cheered. He stretched his arms up at him, trying his best to ask Butter if he could pick him up. 

Butter smiled and set his gift for Babycorn down, making sure to keep an eye on it as he picked Cherrypit up with a small bounce. Cherrypit giggled and pressed his hands on Butter’s face. They were a little covered with mud and dirt after he had tried to make a dirt castle but Butter didn’t mind too much.

“Hi Cherry! Happy Valentiones day!” 

“Butts!! Happy Valenntiooo day!” Cherrypit smiled and pointed over to where he had come running from. “Bebe! Bebe over there!” Sure enough Cherrypit was pointing right at where Butter had seen Babycorn standing earlier. 

Babycorn was sitting on a stack of wooden boxes and talking to someone much taller than all three of them. Judging from the clothes they were wearing they were someone that worked for House Valentione.

There was also something about his outfit that seemed strangely familiar. Like he’d seen it somewhere before.

Or at least, he’d seen the top half of the outfit somewhere before. Oh well.

This mysterious stranger was smiling, eyes closed and moving their head back and forth, looking at the people walking past him. On occasion he would back at people that waved at him, wishing them a good day and answering any questions they had. All while Babycorn kept talking to him and only him.

…She was really talking a lot and really fast too. 

Butter noticed the corner of his smile twitch. What was all that about?

Cherrypit wiggled in Butter’s arms as he called out to his sister. “Bebe! Bebe!” It looked like he got bored of being carried by Butter and wanted to go back to sitting by Babycorn. Being a small little baby meant that Cherrypit had a very short attention span and often changed his mind about things in a flash. This was something Butter and pretty much everyone else that lived with him were used to already. 

Then just as Butter was about to set Cherrypit down on the ground, he noticed that Babycorn stopped talking and looked right at him. 

Their eyes met and for a moment Butter could have sworn he heard a choir of angels singing around him. There was something about the pair of huge pink glasses on her face and the fluffy white coat she was wearing that was sending Butter’s heart fluttering. 

Babycorn blinked. “Butts?!” A wide smile crossed her face, “Butts!! It’s you!! You're heeeeere~!” Babycorn jumped off the boxes she was standing in and ran right towards him. The valentiones-dressed man that she had been sitting next to almost collapsed in relief now that Babycorn was busy not talking his ears off. 

Butter was so off guard at the sight of Babycorn smiling that he completely forgot about the part where he had to put Cherrypit down onto the ground.

Not that Cherry really minded, from the way that he was laughing and kicking his feet at supersonic speed it was pretty clear he was having fun. 

Babycorn stopped just short of running right into Butter’s face. “Hi Butts!!” she yelled directly into his face despite being right in front of him. She was just really excited to see him, you know???

Once Babycorn greeted him, that was all that Butter needed to snap him out of his daze. He shook his head and quickly put Cherrypit down, leaving him to run right next to Babycorn where he sat down on the muddy ground and looked up at her. 

Butter picked up the cookie tin and quickly placed it behind his back, “H-Hi Babycorn!!” he darted his eyes back and forth in the most unsuspicious way possible. A million questions began flying around his head. What was the best way to give Babycorn his present?! Was she even going to like it?! What was she reaching behind her back for?!

Wait-

“Happy Valentiones day Butts!!!” Babycorn had swiftly pulled out a giant heart shaped box and presented it to Butter. “I got this for you!!” 

“For you!” Cherrypit raised his hands and repeated after her. 

Butter was speechless, he could feel his face getting hotter and hotter. He yelled at himself to cut it out because that would just make Babycorn worry he had a fever again! “I-I-! Thank you!! Babycorn!” The present was a bright red color and had a dark red ribbon wrapping it shut. It looked so nice, almost a bit too nicely wrapped for Babycorn of all people to have done it. 

Babycorn giggled, “Are you surprised?!” The expression on her face switched, making her look a little more haughty than usual. Butter would be lying to himself if he wasn’t into it woah what who said that. 

“Heh-heh!” There was a twinkle in Babycorn’s eyes. "I’ll have you know that I ’ve actually been studying really hard for today!” She decided to hit pause on her unreasonable bragging to put down her gift and instead reach into her backpack to pull something completely different out. “Here! Here! Let me show you!” 

Butter watched as Babycorn continued to look through her backpack for a good long while. 

After a bit of staring he noticed the backpack was staring back up at him. It gave him a little wave with one of its loose straps. Butter happily waved back, hoping that Babycorn would be able to find what she was looking for.

“Ah-ha!” Babycorn shouted. 

“Ha-ha!!” Cherrypit cheered after her.

Out of her backpack Babycorn began pulling out book after book after book, until she was holding about six of them in her arms. Cherrypit decided he wanted to help too and began stacking a few of them on his head. 

“Look! See? See?!” Babycorn stepped towards Butter and tried her best to flip the books in her arms around so her good friend Butter could see their covers. 

Babycorn was actually holding most of the books upside down, but Butter could still tell that most of them were romance novels. What else could they be when one of them had two people kissing on it, while another on had people that somehow had less clothes on than B’ig Nunh usually did. 

That, speaking of, was also on the cover of one of the books. Weirdly enough. 

Butter still didn’t really know how he felt about the guy. But whatever, now wasn’t the time to think about that Limsa cat boy. 

Babycorn opened one of the books and flipped through some of the pages. The rest of the books she had been holding dropped to the ground where they were picked up by Cherrypit who quickly added them to the stack of them on his head. 

“I’m still not very good at reading so Airy still has to read some of them to me!” 

“Oh! If you want I can try to read some of them to you too!” 

Babycorn’s face lit up, “Really?! Do you mean it?!” Whenever she had asked anyone if they wanted to read these types of books with her no one except for Airy had ever wanted to!!

“Yeah! Of course!” Butter smiled. 

“Groovy! Then it’s a date!” 

“O-Oh?! Y–Yeah!! I guess it is…” Butter laughed, trying to cover up how much he wanted to roll back what he had agreed to. Back during the fair Babycorn had made it clear that she was giving Butter the chance to ‘woo’ her and if going on dates counted towards that, then he was way more than happy to go on them.

“Far out!!” Babycorn cheered, throwing her book into the air. Conveniently it happened to land right onto the stack that Cherrypit was creating on his head. 

“Yay!” Cherrypit yelled. Right before he jumped and threw all of the books back into their backpack using the several hands that sprouted from his back. 

With all that out of the way, Babycorn picked up Butter's present from the ground. She was kind of pleasantly surprised with herself that she hadn't forgotten about the present entirely. Then again this was an important present. It was for her good friend Butter!!

Of course she'd never forget.

Babycorn held the heart shaped box towards Butter, once again. "Here! This is for you! I hope you really really like it!" For some reason Babycorn found herself bashfully looking away. Though once she caught herself doing that she quickly corrected her little blunder.

"Babycorn..."

Thankfully for Butter, he didn’t have to come up with a way to take the present from Babycorn, not while his present for her was still in his hands. Because just after a few seconds of holding it out for him-Babycorn opened the heart shaped box herself. “Here let me show you what’s in it!!” Babycorn grabbed the top of the box and pulled as hard as she could on it, which evidently still wasn’t enough to open it. 

“Um.” She looked at Butter, then back at the box. “Give me a second.” With a nervous laugh, she turned around to face Cherrypit with a pleading smile. She bent down and placed the box underneath one of his sharp teeth and pulled it towards her. The box finally opened with a pop and a giggle from Cherrypit, who always found it really fun to be used as a bottle opener.

Or in this case a box opener. 

Babycorn laughed maniacally to herself and stomped her feet in place, “Okay! Okay! Okay! It’s open! Ehehehehe!” Though she had full intention of showing her gift to Butter, she was ironically just way too excited to concentrate on actually doing it.

Instead Babycorn was just giggling to herself and thinking about how much Butter would love his gift. 

Butter thought it was really cute.

Suddenly Babycorn’s eyes snapped open. “OH! RIGHT!!!” Babycorn twirled around and ran right up to Butter (again) almost crashing right into him (again.) “Peep this!! I picked all of them myself!” She smiled, the corners of her cheeks were pushing her glasses up slightly. A small detail that Butter couldn’t help but notice.

Butter looked down at Babycorn’s gift, it looked just like any box of chocolates would have. Except that there were no chocolates. 

Instead the box was full of completely random and assorted things. “I ate all the chocolates inside and put a bunch of super hip things inside!!” Babycorn beamed, she pointed at the first of many things she had stuffed inside. “This is a leaf I thought looked pretty and that’s a dead bug I tried to make a bed for but I kinda killed it oopsie! And that’s some dust that fell on my nose and made me sneeze and that’s a rock I found on the ground when I tripped and chipped my tooth a few days ago!” 

Babycorn suddenly stopped short of finishing her explanation. 

“Huh?” Butter looked up at Babycorn, “Is there something wrong?” 

Then without warning Babycorn grabbed something from the box and stuffed it into her mouth. Still chewing, she looked back at Butter, “Sorry! I saw a chocolate I didn’t eat so I had to eat it before I gave it to you!” She smiled, bits of chocolate were all over her face. 

Butter smiled, “It's a good thing you saw it when you did then! Thank you!” Then he decided that now was as good a chance as ever. He held out his hands, holding the cookie tin out towards Babycorn. “I also got you something! I really hope you like it!” Butter closed his eyes. For what reason? He couldn’t possibly come up with a reason. 

He was just nervous, despite everything that had happened since last year. 

“Ah?” Babycorn looked at Butter and then at the box he was holding. “Is that…Is all that really for me?” 

Butter nodded, his eyes were still closed. “I-I made it for you! For today! Because I…” All of a sudden, a wave of confidence surged through Butter. 

He felt as if-he could really do this! Well. He was currently doing it already but like-he was really gonna make it happen!! “I made these because…I really like you! So I hope you like them!” 

Butter looked up at Babycorn, try as he might and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t stop looking at her. There was just something about the way her eyes were sparkling while she was looking at him. 

And there was something about the way Butter looked that Babycorn couldn’t stop staring at. 

“T-Thank…you?” It surprised her that she had so much trouble saying that. Normally when people rushed up to her to give her gifts and declare their love towards her she had no trouble thanking them for their troubles. Then she would just move on and eat whatever goodies they had given her.

But then why…?

ba-bump ba-bump

Babycorn felt her face get warm. 

ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump 

Butter carefully opened the tin of cookies and the smell of stale sugar cookies filled the air around them. “Um…Do you remember those sugar cookies you ate a really long time ago? Well…I was actually the one that made them! So I decided to make them again for you!” 

“That was you…?!” 

ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump ba-bump

“Yeah!” Butter nodded, “I’m sorry I never told you but I was a little scared to! N-Not scared of you! But just scared of you finding out I liked y-you…” His voice was getting smaller with every word he said. Butter didn’t even notice that Cherrypit had jumped up to grab a handful of cookies out of the tin to eat them.

“Like…me…?” Babycorn’s hands gripped the edges of her present to Butter. “You…You were really telling the…” 

ba-bump

Suddenly Babycorn hands let go of the chocolate box, as her hands flew to cover her flushed cheeks instead. Then with a single “EEEEHHHHHH????” Babycorn fainted and fell back onto the ground.

“Babycorn?!” Butter quickly handed over the cookies to a very eager Cherrypit. “Are you okay?!” He noticed that Babycorn’s face was unusually warm when he reached out to touch it with his hand. 

“Woaahh..aababhhwauaubbwah…” Was all that Babycorn managed to mumble out. 

As Babycorn’s eyes continued to swirl around, her thoughts were filled with the passage that Airy read to her yesterday. Though it was kind of foggy in her head, Babycorn did recall how in the book the heroine had received a gift from the hero who would turn out to be her true love. Who loved her, above all else. 

“L-Love…?”

Butter’s ears twitched. “Huh? What was that?”

Babycorn’s mouth formed a faint smile. “W-Woo…”

#writing #Butter #Babycorn #Cherrypit #buttercorn #I GUESS #i wanted to do something with babycorn for valentiones but past few days i ve been going throiugh it as they say #anyway babycorn fact: she often buys out entire shelves of romance novels in bookstores sometimes big nunh is on them #shes doesnt think shes in love she thinks shes dying #anyway go butts you can do it #also cherrypit is here and hes having a fun time #babycorns like does research in BIG quotations on things she doesnt know but when she actually experiencies those things #shes left blindsided its like WOAH........ WHAT??

[rabbitcruiser]

National French Bread Day

Oui, Oui, monsieur – please, pass me another loaf of French bread! Few things are more tantalising than a long, thin stick of French bread (also known as a baguette) enjoyed warm and fresh out of the oven. Its crispy crust and soft center are defining factors for this tasty treat. But before it even comes out of the oven, though, this bread beckons to anyone nearby who can enjoy the smell.

Because they must be eaten fresh, French people typically purchase their baguettes twice a day: one in the morning on their way to work, and one in the evening on the way home. While a little difficult to track, it is estimated by the Observatoire du Pain (The French Bread Observatory) that French people consume 320 baguettes every second of each day!

In fact, access to bread is so vital that, until 2014, Paris lawmakers prohibited certain community bakeries from closing for summer holidays at the same time, lest the entire neighborhood be tragically without bread!

National French Bread Day is a great opportunity to indulge in some classic comfort food at its finest, while also learning a little bit about French culture.

History of National French Bread Day

The French have been baking long sticks of bread for more than 200 years, but it was only in 1920 that the current baguette we know and love came into being.

During that time, a law was passed in France in 1920 that prohibited anyone from starting work before 4am, making it impossible for French bakers to get their traditional breads baked in time before all of the people went off to work. They needed a creative solution to make their bread bake faster, but they didn’t want to cheat their customers.

Voilà, the quick baking baguette was born!

During this time, the innovative French bakers discovered that bread made in this longer shape was actually convenient for cutting as well as for storage. What began as a creative way to speed baking time ended up as a revolutionary way to appreciate bread.

How to Celebrate National French Bread Day

Enjoying National French Bread Day doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as serving a lovely loaf of French bread warm, slathered with butter and a chunk of cheese on the side. Why not embrace the whole continental experience and have a glass of fine French wine with it? More, s’il vous plaît!

But, for those folks who absolutely love all things French–or those who just love a tasty baguette of French Bread–many more ideas come to mind for celebrating the day:

Learn to Make French Bread Baguettes

Although bread-making can sometimes be tedious, some people might really enjoy the challenge and sense of accomplishment that comes from making their own French Bread.

Traditional bakers of French bread use a starter that has been passed down through generations, which makes it a little difficult to recreate. Still, it’s worth a try!

Many recipes are available online or in cookbooks, but the basic ingredients are likely to include bread flour, sea salt, dry yeast and warm water. In fact, in order to be truly authentic, national law dictates that “French” Bread contains only these four ingredients.

Of course, when making it at home, other creative ingredients, such as seeds for topping, are subject to personal preference.

The steps for making French Bread are fairly simple, including mixing, kneading, allowing time for the dough to rise, and then rolling it into the proper baguette shape. The lack of preservatives make it so yummy–but also mean that it must be eaten right away, so don’t make it unless you’re also ready to eat it!

Dress as a Frenchman (or Woman)

The French are about as stylish and savvy as Europeans come, and their fashion is no exception. However, one specific idea comes to mind when thinking of a traditional French costume: the black and white striped shirt.

Get the look by donning a black and white striped shirt with elbow-length sleeves. Add a pair of plain black or red pants. A set of black or red suspenders would look great too. It might also be fun to draw on a curly mustache (with eyebrow pencil or mascara).

And for those who happen to have a poodle or who can borrow one, well that is certainly taking this costume to the next level. But the most important part of the outfit? The French beret on top, of course!

Once dressed up, if people ask why the costume, then it’s a great opportunity to tell them that it’s time to celebrate National French Bread Day.

Watch a French Film

One excellent way to embrace French culture from afar is to sit down comfortably in front of a French film–with a baguette in hand, of course!

Les Miserables, 2012 musical (based on the 1862 book by Victor Hugo and the 1987 Broadway musical adaptation) starring Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway and more. In the story, Hugh Jackman’s character went to jail for stealing bread.

La Vie En Rose, 2007 biopic of French singer, Édith Piaf, starring Maria Cotillard (who won an Oscar for the film).

Amélie (The Fabulous Destiny of Amélie), a 2001 fictional tale about a whimsical young woman in Paris who seeks to help those in the world around her.

French Kiss, 1995 romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline.

Learn to Speak a Little French

Embracing the fullness of French culture, it’s fun to learn a few French words to practice with friends. Try out these basic words to celebrate National French Bread Day:

Pain (pronounced like the English “pan”): Bread

Bonjour: Hello, Good morning

Au revoir: Goodbye

Oui (pronounced like the English “we”): Yes

Non: No

Merci: Thank you

Enjoy Many Types of French Breads

Of course, the baguette isn’t the only bread that France has offered the world.  Those who can locate a nearby French bakery are in luck and may find all kinds of treats to appreciate on National French Bread Day, including croissants, pain au chocolat, brioche, batard, and much more!

Source

#charcuterie board #olives #mustard #salami #jamon #ham #baguette #brioche #Brix Restaurant & Gardens #Jacobs & Co. Steakhouse #Canada #Domaine Carneros #food #appetizer #olive oil #white wine #travel #USA #restaurant #Nick & Stef's Steakhouse #National French Bread Day #21 March #NationalFrenchBreadDay #summer 2022 #2019 #2018 #patio seating #tourist attraction #Napa Valley #original photography

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I want to scream just saw your response and it was so cutee 😭😭😭 him lulling both of us to sleep is so cute😭😭 I don’t want to send him back to the see I know that I usually write fluff ask for this au but what if the reader has to move somewhere WITH NO SEA like Sweden bc if their work 😭😭😭 they would never be able to see each other and I am extra sad for the reader bc nobody would be as good as Suguru he would ruin their love life forever 🌙

HEHE I’M SO GLAD U THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE <33 i think mer!sugu would sing u to sleep all the time!! it’s his love language …….

but 😭😭 my sweet 🌙 anon …. how could u do this to me…… reader moving from mer!sugu’s beach would be sooo heartbreaking :((( if they moved anywhere he could follow i feel like he would, but if it was somewhere too dry for mer!sugu to live at i’d be so sad :’3 …. sigh. for my own mental health i’m just not gonna think abt that LMAO but it’s a very tasty angst scenario……. AND YES SUGU RLLY WOULD RUIN THEIR LOVE LIFE silly hot fish man is the new standard…. no other person could make them as happy 😔😔😔

in return for the treat i’ll offer u an angst thought of my own …. >:3 ok so. i imagine that merfolk age differently than humans right…. as for mer!sugu i feel like he’s around the same age as reader (probably a lil older mentally but physically the same)…….. but he would definitely outlive them :(( and i keep thinking abt that!! how tragic it is. mer!sugu would treasure their memory so dearly though… maybe there’s an intricate burying ritual for merfolk that he’d follow? like. collecting their bones and burying them by the beach… or down in the deep sea….. or maybe he makes a necklace with some pieces of their skeleton and wears it. so he always keeps a piece of them with him. Kinda Fucked Up but it’s a merfolk thing ok just roll w it 😭😭 they’re sinister creatures but also very devoted….

idk just. mer!sugu grieving reader for as long as he lives without them…. the idea of that makes me so so sad. imagine him swimming up to the surface when the moon looks the same as it did when they first met…… shedding a tear or two before returning to sea……. and his tears end up turning into a myriad of sea glass, covering the beach in green and blue and purple…….. or so the folktale goes <3 yeahhhh i just like the idea of their love story becoming a local fairy tale decades after reader has passed. it’s so bittersweet … T—T

sigh i got carried away again. tysm as always for chatting w me 🌙 anon!!! <33 i don’t think my heart can handle thinking abt mer!sugu angst…. i just want him to be pouty and cute all the time……… :(((

#there was this one house i lived at for some time a couple years ago #that was like. righttt by the woods and super duper close to the sea !! #so i used to walk there every morning… it rlly made me love the sea a lot more :’3 n i kinda imagine that location when i think abt this au #tbh i think reader would stay there their whole life partially bc of Lore reasons that i have planned for the fic lol…… #but also to be close to sugu T—T #they stay together all that time and even after reader dies suguru stays. that’s Their beach… sniffle sniffle….. #ENOUGH ANGST i need to come up w some fluff… hm hm hmmm……. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #… my brain is out of juice. just imagine sugu angrily flopping away from reader bc they made him mad LMAO #he’s pouting and frowning flopping his way to the sea while reader follows him and apologizes #”suguru can we please just talk this ou —” (splash noise)……………. aaaand he’s back in the sea smh. silly lil fishy #ask tag ✩ #🌙 anon !! ✩ #mer!sugu <33

[minaramen]

Trigger [Summer Festival !!!!] Part 3 - After Talk

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  

Gaku: Do you both have your drink ready?

Tenn: Yes

Ryunosuke: We do!

Gaku: Okay, then. Thanks again for today’s live

Gaku: Its success wasn’t just thanks to us. The merit also goes to the sound and light department and the stage setting itself

Ryunosuke: It was thanks to all the staff members that aren’t here now and the collaboration between so many people

Tenn: Also…it’s thanks to all the people who are supporting us by watching this video 

Ryunosuke: Yeah! Your screaming voices gave us strength!

Gaku: Yes! This amazing concert was thanks to everybody!

Tenn: I wonder if our fans watching us from TV got drinks as well

Ryunosuke: Let’s cheer together!

Gaku: Raise your glasses, everybody

Gaku: Let’s go! Ready…

Trigger: Cheers!

Ryunosuke: Ah…that was good! Really refreshes a tired body!

Tenn: What are you drinking?

Ryunosuke: Orange juice! 100% juice and tasty! 

Ryunosuke: How about you, Gaku?

Gaku: It's an energy drink. But I’ll try some of that juice, later

Gaku: Tenn?

Tenn: I’m drinking barley tea

Tenn: Fun as it may be to talk about our drinks, shall we skip to the special theme corner  before getting into the backstage talk?

Gaku: Yes. We’re supposed to talk about a specific topic, right?

Ryunosuke: The question is: “If you were pirates, who would be the captain?”

Gaku: The captain…oh, okay…I got the picture

Ryunosuke: Ah, you’re fast…let’s see…I’m struggling a bit with the answer, but I’m ready too… I guess… are you ready, Tenn?

Tenn: Yes, I made my choice as well

Ryunosuke: Okay, then let’s count down and point to the person we're choosing

Trigger: 3, 2, 1…

*Everybody points to a different member*

Ryunosuke: W-we are pretty scattered, apparently…

Tenn: I pointed at Ryuu, who pointed at Gaku, who pointed at…me?

Gaku: The way we're split is kind of amazing

Tenn: Let’s hear our reasons, okay? Gaku, you go first. Why did you choose me?

Gaku: You never know what's going to happen offshore, right? Well, I just think that it’s good to have a cool head at the helm if anything comes up

Gaku: Of course somebody with physical strength wouldn’t be bad either, but a guy with a sharp mind is the best option to me

Ryunosuke: You’re right! If Tenn were the captain, we could entrust him with the water course without worry!

Gaku: Exactly. However Tenn chose you, instead

Tenn: Yes. The reason is pretty much the same you mentioned before, Gaku

Tenn: If you want to live on the sea, safe navigation is essential. That’s why I chose Ryuu: he knows the sea way better than us

Ryunosuke: Well, it’s true that I spent a lot of time by sea, but being the captain…I wonder if the role would suit me

Tenn: You would treat your crew with empathy. Also, you wouldn’t do anything horrible such as looting. You would be a very friendly pirate

Gaku: I can imagine you going around helping people in trouble pretty well

Ryunosuke: Really? Thank you, I’m happy!

Tenn: Why did you choose Gaku, Ryuu?

Ryunosuke: Just like Gaku said before, the role would have suited you as well. That’s why I was so confused…

Ryunosuke: However, I thought that Gaku would never give up in the face of difficulties, no matter what

Ryunosuke: He’s our leader, after all

Gaku: Ahah, thank you. I’m very flattered

Ryunosuke: Also, I bet you would be great at forging bonds with other pirate crews!

Tenn: I totally know what you mean

Gaku: So what? It’s totally fine!

Tenn:...well, we gave different answers but all of them sound good

Gaku: Maybe we’re all suited to being captains

Ryunosuke: Well, there can be a pirate crew with three captains! 

Tenn: So we can institute the TRIGGER pirate crew. The sailors are, of course, our fans 

Gaku: Yeah. We will bring you everywhere

Ryunosuke: I look forward to another day when we can be pirates together!

Tenn: We’ll meet you next time we hoist the sails! Bye bye! 

The end 

TL notes: Happy birthday, Gaku! I can’t wait to translate his birthday card, so if somebody got it I would really appreciate if you could send me recordings :) 

Next up: Riku 16 Idol Album!

#trigger #Idolish7 #idolish7translation

[poisonouswritings]

So one of my lovely mutuals (who I will not be naming but You Know Who You Are) just emotionally traumatized me so!!! I'm gonna write a little bit of fluff!!!!!

M4 At the Zoo

GN!Reader, Good End™, it's one in the morning over here so bare with me and my inevitable spelling mistakes

Okay so,,

Anisa is the most excited. Then Felix. Then Rime. Then Sage. But if You Are Excited, the boys will try to match your enthusiasm level. Anisa is Significantly More Excited Than You No Matter How Excited You Are

Okay listen,,, I need some Cat!Sage right now,,,,, and so I'm gonna say the reason he isn't really enthused about going is because he's territorial over you so he doesn't like All The Other Animals getting so close. Imagine you're just excitedly pointing at a maned wolf or something and Sage is just hugging you from behind and glaring at it because No This Is His Human The Wolf Can Go Find A Different One >:(

Anyways the others are all reasonable.

Normally I would say that you and your partner kinda go off together but honestly?? You and Rime have to keep the other three on leashes. You decide how literally to take that statement.

I,, couldn't tell you why,,, but,, I think Rime would really like the reptiles!!! The area is cool and dark and quiet and I think he finds that peaceful. Plus the snakes and lizards look cool. You guys get to watch a live feeding.

I think Felix would really enjoy like,, the tigers and lions and cougars and stuff. The felines. They have a really elegant but powerful stride and just look a lot cooler. Plus he wants to point at all of them and go 'Look MC It's Stella' because he thinks it's funny

Sage wants to see the birds!!! You have to keep a hold of him so he doesn't suddenly pounce, but for the most part I think he genuinely just likes watching them. A lot of them have cool and colorful plumage and interesting calls! There's plenty going on to keep him stimulates. Totally not projecting here.

Do I even have to tell you? Anisa is beelining to the aquarium. She is Pressing Her Nose Against The Glass and Hopping From Foot To Foot and generally just Vibing. Points at ones she think would be particularly tasty. But I think the sound of the ocean (over the loudspeakers) and the chilly air that blows like a sea breeze and the cool blue tones of the room are just,, Aesthetic for her.

So at one point Sage is being obnoxious and Rime pulls on his hair and while he is annoyed Sage also gets flustered,,,, and then you hide behind Anisa and go 'OKAY DID Y'ALL USED TO FUCK OR SOMETHING' and then they're both chasing you while Anisa and Felix try to keep you from getting murdered. You only get saved because a zookeeper stops all three of you but then they lecture you about running so there's that

Anisa! Wants! To Feed! All The Animals! Let her!!! And if they have those animal shows?? I'm sorry but You're Going To All Of Them. Also You're In The Splash Zone. You can get a poncho if you want. Sage says you both smell like animal water but Anisa Is Happy so it's worth it.

Felix and Sage disappear for like an hour and when they get back they're mysteriously covered in dirt. You ask what happened and long story short they fell into the tiger enclosure and Felix had to portal them out. If I were you I would suggest getting an actual leash by now.

That Being Said, Rime and Felix offer to get you closer to your favorite animal. You point out that you would immediately be thrown out of the zoo but Rime just pats your head and tells you Not To Worry, (One Of) Your Big Strong Wizard Boyfriend(s) Can Handle That. And your Other Super Strong Wizard Boyfriend is great at making portals and can get you in super easily :)

Rime being the Responsible Friend™ and he has a backpack full of water and snacks and he makes you all take a break to monch. Sage snuck a flask in of course. If you're discreet you can get away with it. Rime will take it away if he catches you guys tho. Anisa has some of those food pellets still in her pocket and she ends up not only eating one, but convincing Felix and Sage to eat one too.

The Starsworn Share One Braincell I'm Sorry

Sage is inevitably going to make a 'doing it like animals' joke/flirt. Depending on how you respond it might not be a joke. He's not afraid of fucking in the bathroom. Do with that as you will.

You guys go to the gift shop. Anisa, Felix, and Sage all get something for their respective family members. Rime thinks it's pitiful if he gets himself something so you get him something, and then he gets something for you.

#last legacy #fictif last legacy #felix escellun #felix iskandar escellun #anisa anka #sage Lesath #rime solano varela #rime varela #ozzy daydreams #fictif felix #fictif anisa #fictif sage #fictif rime

[tonguetiedraven]

More slugs, perhaps?

Of course :D I think there are about two parts left.

Part: One, Two, Three, Four (you’re here.)

Summary: Ryuuji gets put into a new tank and quickly makes friends with the neighboring sea slug. The cheerful Rin finds himself entirely taken with land slug Ryuuji, and the star crossed slugs are determined to find away to be together without letting a little thing like salt get in their way.

｡.｡:∞♡*♥*♡∞:｡.｡

Ryuuji’s bowl was full of tasty things, and Rin had a lot of fun mixing and matching them. The green pellets tasted fantastic with the fungus Ryuuji had found, and he was pretty sure it was his new (second) favorite thing. 

He didn’t think it was possible to replace cucumber as his absolute favorite.

They packed a few of the pellets in some leaves that Ryuuji tied shut with a bit of grass, and that made it so they could carry the food with them as they started out to deliver Mephisto’s message. They had two and a half days to do it, and knowing Ryuuji was going to be with him made it all the better. 

They got a late start (according to Ryuuji) but Rin felt like it was fine. Renzou and Konekomaru both followed them to the tanks boundaries and watched until they’d glided to the top.

(And that was hard to do. He hadn’t appreciated how strong and stubborn Ryuuji was before.)

And then they were on the other side of the glass wall and in a whole new world for both of them.

"Careful," Ryuuji said, gliding close and brushing against Rin's side. "It's trickier going down."

Rin nodded with determination and gripped the slippery glass extra hard. They started down together, slipping and sliding and going much faster than they’d climbed up. It was a relief to reach the bottom. 

Ryuuji knocked his head against the ground and frowned. “Huh. It looks like a tree but it doesn’t feel right.”

Rin had never seen a tree. Just Ryuuji’s branch. And he only knew that was part tree because Ryuuji told him.

 Rin slid a bit closer, shifting around to keep his shell upright, and promptly paused as he got his first clear look of the place their tank was in.

It was bright. Like sunlight filtering through water bright. There was coral here too, all bright and soft looking, but in strange shapes. He couldn't tell what was poison or not. There were blues and reds and greens and more pinks than he cared for. They lined the corners of this place, and looking at it, Rin realized, with a start, their tanks were in an even bigger tank. 

“Ryuuji?” he asked quietly, moving forward on the not-a-tree. “What is this?”

“Huh, oh.” Ryuuji joined him at the edge. “I think the big creatures call it a house? It’s the thing they live in. I avoid them.” He nudged Rin’s cheek with his own. “Where did you say you have to go?”

Rin blinked, lost in the colors and the strange shapes. It wasn’t like any coral he’d ever seen. House? Well this big creature had a weird one. His colors were too bright and Rin didn’t like the way they went together. It was as ugly as Mephisto’s coral castle. 

“Rin?”

With a bit of a jolt that had him slipping forward, Rin realized Ryuuji was talking. The other slug made an alarmed noise at his jolt and stuck his head out to block Rin from moving further off the edge.

“Careful! It’s a long way down! You’ll break your shell.”

Oh. It was a long way down. That probably would have hurt, and if he lost his shell, he’d be back in his real form. He’d suffocate.

Rin nuzzled Ryuuji’s withdrawing face with a big grin and promptly noticed that it made Ryuuji blush.

This trip was going to be so much fun.

｡.｡:∞♡*♥*♡∞:｡.｡

Ryuuji was, all in all, managing okay. He’d had to stop Rin from doing dangerous things a few times, and it was kind of making him look around with more anxiety, and kind of making him want to just pick Rin up and set him on his back so he couldn’t actually get into trouble. It was a dangerous world for a slug. Even one that had a fancy shell on their back.

But he was also struggling with how touchy Rin was. The other slug would slide close to him until their trails mingled, and he’d nuzzle and cuddle and laugh and chat and tilt his head against Ryuuji’s neck and curl around him and ask endless questions and smile so bigly that Ryuuji’s heart would feel even funnier in his chest.

It was hard to keep moving forward through the ugly decorated house when Rin was leaning against him and he knew they only had a little while together. He wanted to stop and curl tight around Rin and never let him go. He wanted to tell him everything, and he wanted to kiss him. He’d never kissed anyone before, but he’d like to try with Rin.

But right now they were slipping past a few other tanks and cages, and he was extra nervous. They were traveling down a slug lunch alley. And not in the way that meant they’d be the ones fed. No, they were on the menu. The rats had rammed against their bars, tiny paws reaching through to try and catch them, and Rin’s curiosity had made it so Ryuuji had to pull on all his speed to get between him and the predator who just wanted a bite of slug. 

The skinks were next, and the large green one sidled up to the glass and pressed his face against it, watching Rin the entire time and licking at his face as if he could taste Rin.

Ryuuji pushed Rin past that one with a worried twist in his gut.

“Ryuuji!” Rin gasped, and Ryuuji’s heart shot right back to his throat in fright as he quickly turned around to see what had happened. 

It was a cage of frogs. Big frogs. They were all hopping around and making the old thing rattle, and it had Ryuuji hurrying over to Rin.

“Leave ‘em alone.” He shoved at Rin’s side, slowly pushing him away from the slug eaters. Frogs would eat any bug, and any slug. He didn’t want some kind of stare down with these things.

“But it’s a froggy! Like the tadpoles!”

“So?” Ryuuji pushed harder and Rin was forced to slide forward a little. 

“Ryu-uji,” Rin whined, trying to stop and failing. “I wanna see them! You told such cool stories about them and look how high they can jump! I wanna jump!”

“Stories?” Ryuuji stopped pushing and straightened. “You wanna hear stories?”

That caught the other slug’s attention. Wide blue eyes turned to him excitedly and Rin nodded. 

“Yeah! Tell me one!”

“Su-sure.” He was never quite prepared for how pretty Rin’s eyes were. “On one condition. You gotta keep up with me.”

Rin scowled. “I know what you’re doing, but I wanna hear the story, so I’ll follow.”

Ryuuji went as fast as he could, panting a little as he talked about racing with his friends to out run the frogs on summer nights. He talked about the fun of hiding under logs and how good it always felt to get back home knowing he’d beaten them. He talked about watching frogs go from being all squirmy and swimmy to an awkward in between, and finally to something that could live on land or water, and how weird he’d always found that.

He talked and talked until they were past the frog cages, and almost past an empty tank. He talked and talked and didn’t notice Rin slowing down and eventually stopping. He didn’t notice until he finished a joke and didn’t hear Rin’s happy laugh.

He whipped around thoroughly confused, and found his heart freezing somewhere in his throat. 

Rin had stopped more than a dozen centimeters back, far too far away. Sitting a handful of centimeters in front of him, staring with big unblinking eyes, was a tree frog. 

It wasn’t in a tank. 

Its red eyes were locked on Rin, and it was breathing quietly as it watched Rin. Rin who was beaming up at it and didn’t seem to understand just how quickly and happily that frog would eat him. 

“RIN!”

Ryuuji shot across the space between them, blazing a trail as quickly as he could, not thinking of anything but saving the slug he loved from such a horrible fate. He was terrified for him, terrified at the thought of Rin being wrapped in the creature’s terrible tongue and swallowed whole, never to be seen again. No more bright smiles or cheerful nuzzles, no more laughter and eyes that stole his breath. No first kiss or future. He’d never get to show Rin how spinach tasted or how pretty strawberries were and how they could be sweet and tart.

There wouldn’t be any of it if he didn’t move fast enough.

Rin’s head turned towards him with a curious tilt, and the frog twitched.

“RIN! RUN!”

“Wha—”

The frog turned his attention to Ryuuji, and seeing a bigger snack, he jumped. His horrible tongue shot out, aiming for Ryuuji’s middle, and he was going to be the one swallowed. He was going to die. The sticky mass hit him in the side, knocking him over as it stuck to him and began to pull him towards the big mouth.

“Ryuuji!”

There was a flare of blue light, and Ryuuji was freed as the frog let out a terrible croak.

“Back OFF!”

More blue light, Ryuuji was surrounded by the flickering stuff now and couldn’t see anything but the brightness. He closed his eyes and brought them down, hoping he could get rid of the bright spots in his vision and move. He had to help Rin!

The light vanished almost as quickly as it had arrived, revealing Rin in front of him, foot firmly on the ground with his head and eyes raised as high as they could go. He was covered in flickers of the blue light, and the frog was cowering back from him.

“You heard me!” Rin snapped, pushing up a bit taller. “Get out of here!” 

The frog hopped back, croaked mournfully, and then hopped away. Rin turned back to him, and Ryuuji couldn’t do anything but gape at him.

Rin had just saved him.

“What were you doing?!” Rin demanded, gliding up to him with a wild look in his burning eyes. “You coulda died, Ryuuji!”

Indignation bubbled up and pushed past the shock. “Hey! What was I doing? What were you doing?! Huh? Frogs eat slugs, dumbass! You coulda—”

“That frog had its tongue on you!” 

“No shit!”

Rin slid around him and looked at his back, nudging the sticky residue with his face in a nervous sort of way, and the indignation faded away as quickly as it had come. A more fluttery feeling replaced it.

“Rin. Rin, you gotta… you gotta be more careful. It’s a dangerous world for a slug. We got a lot of things that want to eat us, and I… I don’t want you getting eaten.”

Rin straightened and turned to face Ryuuji, a small frown tugging his lips down. 

“But I don’t want you to get eaten either.” 

“Then let’s both try and be careful. Okay?”

Rin headbutted him. “And yell out a warning next time, okay? Don’t throw yourself in danger.”

“Hey! I didn’t know you could get all bright like that.” He blushed, all too aware of how he’d thrown himself at that frog to keep Rin safe, and certain that he’d do it again in a heartbeat.

“Well I can.” Rin beamed, looking immensely proud of himself as blue light flickered over his body. The smile slowly dropped as he stared at Ryuuji, and Ryuuji felt his face going a bit red with something a little like embarrassment, but much nicer. It was a lot to be looked at in that soft way.

“We, uh,” he said, feeling a little dizzy and wondering why it was hard to remember to breathe, “should, uh…”

“Yes?” Rin asked, seeming even closer. He had little spots of red in his blue eyes. Ryuuji had never seen anyone else with such pretty eyes.

“Should…” Agh! It was almost impossible to think when he was looking at Rin. He drew his eyes back, trying to suck in a big breath and stay on track. “Should get going. We got a long journey and the sun will be up soon.”

Rin stared for a moment longer before nodding.

“Yeah.”

They took off again, and Ryuuji couldn’t help wishing he’d waited a few moments longer.

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A/N: I feel like everyone should know I ended up making bonrin slug emotes for my server xD

#bonrin #bon x rin #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #my tumblr fics #slug au #bonfire #ryuuji suguro #rin okumura #ryuji suguro #bon suguro #aoex #bon/rin #aoe #ane #the reaper moment will always be my fave #and i had to include it

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Spooky Halloween Two-Shot Edition, part 1

“Well, if we don’t get the money the bank is going to foreclose on the orphanage and sell it to Old Man Keraptis! Who wants to turn it into a haunted amusement park!” "Rhett Surt, professional insurance instigator.” “I’m sure he’s just deeply misunderstood.” "I'm pretty sure he's a lich.” "We gotta do this tonight. In the event I'm right and he IS a lich, word has it he's gonna be out in the marshes, screaming at the moon with the Wizards of Whatley place. That gives us a window, assuming Mr. Johnson hasn't screwed us.” "Wait, Jotunsdotter. Are you related to a giant?” Janna shrugs. “Mom never really talked about dad much. Said he was slippery, silvertongued and tied up somewhere these days.” Shank nods: "Ah yes... those types often end up like that when they get into trouble they can't talk their way out of.” “This place is… unclean. I mean, it’s filthy, but it’s also unholy.” "Don't be silly, there are plenty of holes.” "Never split up in a spooky place that a religious person says is unholy!” "Ah, a wine cellar. Good vintage. Peanut of the Night.” From the pit, four large man sized mushrooms with long tendrils emerge. "I've read enough Tijagnoman Bibles to know where this is going!” Suddenly there is a gnome among you, in a long elven cloak clasped with the symbol of Poom, God of Suddenly Being There. Will: "Sorry I'm late: had to make sure the Truck wasn't following me.” You dodge the first tendril, but the other two grab your wrists. You slip out easily, but where the fungi touched you your skin bubbles and sloughs away. "Gah! I hate mushrooms so much.” "But they are tasty sautéed with wine.” The fungi are fun died. "Well done! That was unpleasant. What on the planes are they? and why are they here?” "Someone forgot to clean the basement for a decade or two?” "Time to head upstairs, no way I'm going to the Underdark: I've got enemies down there.” “And they have sexy spider ladies! I mean, regular spider ladies!” "I don’t see any journals, or strange discs. Or unmelted hands.” All these spirits are long since spoiled, or infected with fungi and mold. They might make serviceable vinegar, or give you a really bad trip before eating through your small intestine. The freezer opens with some effort. Its very dark and cold inside, several large sides of beef hang inside. The closest one is covered with what appears to be maggots. "That does not look like it is well-aged beef.” "We got a skitterer!” “This place has problems. We need a property flipper.” ”Rot grubs. Jeebus H Koala, this is no milk run.” “...This place is in dire need of an exterminator... or some arson.” "Yeah, let’s save the murderbasement for the return trip.” “Oh, hello, Mr. Squeekers!” "Probably stole some cheese from the larder.” “I think anything from this house's Larder more likely to eat the rat.” "Alright. This. Nobody said anything about running into this twisted nature and abominations. Did I miss a note that was passed around? Am I the only one out of the loop on this one?” "We're robbing a lich. What, you think this is Gravesoil parish with the chainsaw ponies?” “Those ponies are surprisingly polite.” "It'd take some omniphobic weirdo with too light a constitution for math to make that up.” "I found the door guys, let’s...Oh score that's a Pickman original.” "Is that a Owlplatypus?” "Okay, standard rules, grab anything that—the FUCK is that?” [insert Great Race of Yith picture] "Some kind of sea life, maybe?” “Fuck this shit with a dragon dildo. Let’s get the fuck out of this fucking fuck.” "It's like one of them mind-flayers banged a roper…" "Shank, you back in there?” “Yes. Now excuse me I need to stab a bitch in a glass case.” "Well, he's not smiling, so that's a maybe?” And as for you goblin. You should feel honored one of your kin was chosen to host one of the Great Race of Yith. “Wow. You are super racist. We don’t go for that kind of thing around here! Anymore!” I am not racist. All races are equally inferior to the Great Race. “Yes. That’s being racist!” "Yeah, but we weren't the ones with so much cotton stuffed up the ass that I expect you to cough up sheep.” "And Jeebus did say FORK YOU!” We have enemies. The flying Polyps. “If you’re over 40 you’re supposed to test for those every few years.” It sounds like a cat having angry sex with an accordion. OOC: So voiced by Gilbert Godfrey. Gotcha. Stop. Stabbing me. You. Stupid. Subcreature. “We aren’t subs! Well, I’m usually not, and I just me they rest so… you shouldn’t make assumptions!” Will looks down (well, sideways) at the dead alien. "So we're all agreed? We get out, torch the place, and tell the Goonion we found it like that?” "Is it the Truck, man? Is the truck coming for us?” GM: No, Truck-Kun is on another job today. "Okay. I know we said everything goes into the bag... But put the windows back.” "Mr Van Ghoul!?”

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #halloween #all rogues #all short races #lovecraft #lovecraft mockery

[sortasp00ky]

A Day in the Life of a Snezhnayan Archaeologist

+ Notes: A one shot look into my Genshin OC Althea Nicht in her totally normal regular verse. Fun fact! This actually inspired another character I’ve yet to properly name. Includes some light Tartaglia at the end there! This was also originally written before Sumeru’s release... I should probably go back and spruce up a version eventually. 

Archive Link

Word Count: 5.7k

A loud groan punctuated the start of the day and joined the rising cacophony of merchants milling about and sea scavenging birds cawing with the dawns rise. Doctor Nichtheryda - Nicht for short - Sat up and squinted with a silent rage at the waking world. How dare it be so bright and loud, didn't they know what time it was? She... didn't know what time it was. Glancing to the side of her rented bed with watering pink eyes she grimaced for once not from the glare of the sun through the threadbare curtains of her shared hostel room. It was almost noon. And if she stayed in bed any longer the Mora she had in her pocket wouldn't be going to breakfast - but to another days stay in that flea ridden mess she called temporary lodging.

Mora was such a silly thing, yet the world revolved around it and those who had too much of it - she, unfortunately as a university graduate from Sumeru, was not one such soul. Or maybe she would have been if she had taken on the jobs back there. Sat behind a desk and philosophized about lost civilizations instead of going out and finding them. No, she had too much pride for that, and sure she had a mountain of debt to speak for it - but she was her own woman and once she was free from the yolk of that debt she would truly be set enough to find her way in her life. Map out the secrets long since forgotten, record the lives of those since long dead, to preserve their memory so that others would know that once they, too, had lived.

But thinking about such things on an empty stomach while counting the loose nails in the roof above her was not going to help her do such. So she sat up, with a loud final groan of protest against the cruelties of the sun, blinked a few more times, before slamming her hand haphazardly across the three legged bedside table she was so kindly provided. It was a wonder she didn't smash it to splinters before finding her glasses, but the Archons work in mysterious ways and apparently the Tsaritsa had decided that that particular table got to live. A small mercy from a god who though ruled her homeland, Nicht had little to no love for.

She slipped the tinted shades upon her face and relished in the dimmed light of the world. Too long in dank caves and cold stone buildings had changed her eyes, yes it had to be that. Ah, sometimes the Hostel Keeper would laugh, seeing her come back from a dig only on the next morning with the sun not far behind her. Yes that was it. Sighing, she shook her head, pulled on the days work clothes, tied up her boots, grabbed her spear, pack and Mora pouch, and decided that today would be a good day. Today luck had to favor her - she was being bold after all!

With pep in her step, she strolled out the building, giving a light wave to the Hostel Keeper as she went. She'd see the old woman again that night, probably. Maybe not if she was lucky. Did she have a payment this week? She was always so terrible with time.

She could check her books once she was at the dig site, for now she was focused on a more immediate need. The growling of her stomach was no longer a low grumble and the sweet smell of meat cooked upon street stalls called to her like a knight to his beloved. And who was she to deny her beloved, the dear greasy street food from being her high quality breakfast.

Liyue was a culinary masterpiece, in the mind of the Snezhnayan provincial. Filled with the dual wonders of the battling styles, it was almost fantastical - but more so than that, it was tasty. She had developed an affinity for a certain street food that amounted to nothing more but fried ground meat between two bits of bread. Simple, yet filling. Perfect for a traveler who only really stayed in the city long enough to sleep. Yes, it was sad to say she was more familiar with Liyue from it's glittering silhouette seen from a distance than with it's actual beating heart. Despite, of perhaps because of this,  she found herself watching with a sense of awe every night from the cliff when she returned. Of course, this also meant she was very ill suited to the most Important pastime ,nay, survival skill in for one walking this city golden cities streets.

"50 Mora? Yesterday it was 15!" She exclaimed to the street merchant, eyes wide in disbelief. "and it was 5 the day before? Has something monumental happened to the cows of the region that I'm just totally missing?"

She was sure the numbers hadn't gone down but - then again she didn't exactly take count on her ways to various ruins across the land. No, this was a much simpler thing that she just didn't see. Nicht was atrocious at haggling. It wasn't that she was unfamiliar with the practice it just felt... rude to her. Like she was insulting the hard work of the merchants she talked to by trying to get them to go lower. Which meant, in short, she was being taken to the cleaners on the regular by Merchants of all kind that recognized her nature immediately. Below the exterior as chilly and sharp as ice, there was perhaps, a gullible fool.

This time, though, the Merchant had aimed too high. Nicht's stomach grumbled in disappointment as her eyes saw the limited Mora in her purse. Mora that was already unfortunately, spoken for and thus she couldn't part with. She'd have to do without today. Adopting a grim, mirthless smile her words bit like a bitter wind. "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass then - Have a lovely day."

Turning with a clockwork like precision upon her heel, she departed. Her feet maintained their steady rhythm out of the market and towards the cities exit when laughter, and the faint sound of a familiar language drifted to her pointed ears and drew her attention from the battle of wills taking place in her wallet and her gut. It wasn't rare so to say to hear her native language, and see her countrymen in the city of trade but...

Her eyes found their mark quickly, two souls enjoying what she could assume was their lunch break from the Northland Bank.  Their domino masks and thick coats of red and black gave them an ominous appearance befitting their organization. She fought the distinctly impolite urge to spit on the ground in their general happy go lucky direction. A scourge upon them a scourge upon the blight that was the Fatui. They were a stain upon her nation's honor even if it was led by their archon. Turning away from the sight, she'd rather not see two glorified brutes make kissy faces at each other like love sick teenagers,  she absently rubbed at the back of her neck. She tried not to think too much about what she felt there. Instead, she reminded herself of her truth, learned long ago. That the Fatui are evil, any facsimile of happiness or peace or normality was just one of their weapons of war, masquerading as anything but an act of active espionage. She wasn't ,however, about to get involved in that without being provoked - especially not on an empty stomach.

So her feet found her not wandering towards the ruin she had been recently excavating but trouncing through the wilds of Liyue, chasing after squirrels, and haring ducks. All the while keeping an eye out for Chilies or other edible herbs. Quite some archaeologist she was, she thought to herself, grimacing as another toad scared off her hunting quarry and startled her enough to fall face first into mud.  A grim place where she lay, eyes buried into the dirt, for far too long. Seems the world took her declaration as a dare. At this rate she'd be eating raw mint and charred roadkill for the second time this week. If she was lucky enough to stumble across some.

It was early evening by the time she found herself doing almost just that, simply trading the road kill for very burnt squirrel  and the mint for some chilies. A stiff wind cut against her coat, and played with the life of her weak campfire. Yes, some kind of Archaeologist she was.  One that was drowning under a mountain of university debt, always cold, covered in mud and now eating burnt squirrel as probably her only meal of the day. Her stomach rumbled in disgust at that thought. Again.

At the end of the day she knew if she was really  hurting for Mora and food she could pick up commissions at the adventurer's guild - an organization that, much like the Fatui, traced it's origin to snowy lands she had long since left behind - and once this pouch of Mora was dry she inevitably would have to. She grimaced as she threw the bones of her meal to the ground and began to trudge towards the ruins she had started to think of as a second home.

Old Ruins. Visible far from the road. Older than most, older than the Archon war - if her dating was correct. The perfect place to continue her work. The world was filled with unanswered questions, and she hoped to at least puzzle out one, maybe two in her life.   The ruins themselves were well obscured, covered in thick foliage and hidden along a treacherous cliff side, though this didn't stop Nicht from checking over her shoulder once, twice, no at least three times before slinking inside covering the entry in brush. She should hide the entrance more honestly. She was sure she could pile the rocks high enough and well enough that casual passersby just thought it another natural geological structure but - No that wouldn't prove too difficult to remove on her return.

She shook her head as she removed her shades, brilliant pink eyes adjusting quickly - too quickly perhaps - to the darkness, but not so much to the silence. She walked quickly, lightly, though the ruins. Where had she left off in her studies? Daylight was burning (Actually, it was already gone, but she didn't care) and she had so much to learn.

Pause.

Was that creak her shoes on the stone or was she being followed? Treasure hoarders? or Worse. No it's just some bats. Thank the archons for that.  She's fine. She's Alone. And perhaps, just maybe, she'd find the answers she sought.

The Earth was old, and its cracks ran deep. The glow of long forgotten cities illuminated her chill skins, and lead her deep, deeper still to where she had left her marking stones. Little electric purple bat shaped things, fluttering with the power of her vision even long after she had left the area. Constant, though they were but flashes of light. She chuckled faintly. Was this the eternity of the Archon her vision was tied to? She didn't know. She didn't care . Eternity and transience were but the same thing at the end of the day - not her research.

This deep, the biggest threat was more than a few errant Hilichurls. The Abyssal Order, if she had to guess, wasn't too keen on Visitors. Thankfully, she hadn't had the displeasure of finding out if she was right or not, sticking to the shadows like glue. Almost a ghost among the ruins herself, all the way until she reached her little camp. Lit by nothing, yet visible to her all the same. Kneeling before the stone edifice, she smiled, running a thin hand down the old markings. She was so close, so close to understanding the linguistical importance of this language - these people.

She just needed more time.

Slowly, she unpacked herself. Notebooks, small candles, charcoal, pens,  and tiny brushes all sat around her  arranged  in a perfect semicircle, in a smooth and practiced motion. She inhaled deeply, and for the first time that day, felt at peace.  No matter the rough start to her day, she was still there, doing what she loved. Learning.

Slowly she removed one final tool from her pack and got to work. A large hour glass, her most dearly neglected friend, was to be placed to her left. The sand was to count her time there, to know when she would need to once more see the sun and eat of the earths bounty. A friend she more often than not ignored - but perhaps today would be different. It felt different.

Everything felt different.

Like her skin was alight with the static of her vision, like a storm was just beyond the, like she was at the edge of a waterfall and about to tip over. And she had not a single clue as to why.

Grains of sand fell to the music of scribbling and chalk, to muttered words and silent frustrations. Was this rune the same as this previously categorized one? Or did this slight change in writing make it different? Is this a portrait, or a pictogram?  Which war is this depicting? And are those Mechanisms, or stylized beasts? Thousands upon thousands of similar questions shot through her mind as lightning. Only a fraction of which she manages to catch the thunder of caught and scribble down with suspected answers. Grains of black sand fell slowly, silently, unaware of the storm of intellect ragging through her mind.

It was ignored, once again, as it had come to expect from it's eccentric owner. In the world outside, in the world above, the evening turned to night. Glittering stars watched upon Liyue from the heavens, their designs known only to themselves. Silent Wars ragged in the shadows that they left behind. And here, deep below where even their light didn't reach, there was silence and bliss in research.

She didn't think of all that, it was if the world didn't exist beyond the wall in front of her and her notes. No debt, No Hunger, just knowledge. Just the stories of peoples past, waiting to be uncovered.

It was because of this she focus that she didn't pay attention to the hourglass, and didn't think of the sun rising above the mountains till her head ached with hunger and sleep anew. Eyes watering and red from too much focus and vision blurry, snapping her from her one track mind just long enough for her to look at the time keeping tool. Colorful Snezhnayan swearing echoed low in the cavern, oaths sworn anew to pay attention next time. the Hour Glass knew the oaths were hollow and would be broken just as easy as the earlier ones.

She collected her goods far less gently than she had placed them, the small ruckus causing her cold heart to beat faster in fear. Was she late? Yes, she was. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem but today - Or well, the tomorrow that became today - she had a meeting. One that she had been warned was her 'Last Chance' to be punctual. Was she scared? No, no she was fine everything was fine. Nicht didn't get scared. Not once not ever. Even if her shaking hands removing the covers over the ruins entrance said otherwise. That was just lack of food making her hands Shake, totally.

She did her best not to break into a full sprint upon seeing the rough red sunrise. As she squint against the bloody light, her sunglasses forgotten behind,  she found herself feeling eyes in every bush.

You see this was a meeting with the Fatui. The Dreaded, hated Fatui. The Fatui that owned her debt. The Fatui that owned her life. And when vision holders like her, or anyone who got on their nerves really, failed to pay on time -

"A little antsy, aren't you Doctor."

The cool voice, deep and deceptively gentle, had her freeze like a deer in the headlights. She didn't turn to look over her shoulder, she knew what awaited her. A gentlemen in a thick black coat, with a face covering red and white mask. He flipped a sharp knife in  one of his hands absently, the glitter of a pyro vision - Or was it a delusion? She didn't ask, she doubted she'd get an answer -  was as red and deep as blood.  It almost angered her, the casualness of it all. Was this just a day for him? Probably if she was being honest with herself.

Steeling herself with a breath, she turned on her heel and forced a saccharine sweet smile on her face. It didn't reach her eyes, or pass any real scrutiny. And though she didn't reach for her spear just yet, her hands were sharply balled into fists.

"Just busy. Though not enough to not answer strangers, you are-?"

"Oh Doc, don't play coy"

Oh great the debt collector was rude  too. Would her stream of wonderful luck ever end?  The smile dropped almost instantly and she furrowed her brows in disgust. She could almost hear his smile in the way he laughed after that. Rude, and apparently someone who enjoyed causing discomfort in others. No wonder he was with the Fatui, he could be their poster boy. She couldn't help but roll her eyes at that thought.

"Ah, so pleasantries are the way of the past then. What do you want? Can't you see I'm trying to make good time back to the city."

Her words were sharp as the winter wind, and all that earned her was another chuckle. Deep and smooth like silk.

"I'm afraid, my good doctor, that that time has passed."

The agent stood, still flipping his cursed knife with ease, and began his sickeningly slow walk towards her. Like a tom cat with a mouse. The prey animal's body stuck in a snap trap but still clinging to life with every bleary beat of it's heart.

Shame hers didn't beat, might have saved him the trouble.

"You see I represent-"

"I know who you represent idiot, I'm not stupid. So stop acting and get to the damn point."

Nicht lived her life with no regrets, or so she liked to tell herself. But if you caught her at that moment, as the agent caught the dagger and tilted his head at her. Anger seeping into his breath and into his next words, you might have gotten her to admit she had at least one.

She couldn't tell you what he said next, her eyes laser focused on the appearance of another dagger - followed immediately by the inability to account for either, or the mans own location at all. Losing her, immediately, the element of surprise and putting her on the back foot. Damn her and her sharp tongue.

Quickly, she sprung to action. Hands to her spear. Senses on edge, exhilarated.

Dare she even think: electrified. She held back a laugh meant for better battles and worthier foes.

The wind rose, drawing smooth lines against her cold skin and losing itself in her wild black hair. Only to bring with it the thunderous end of the flash of silence.

The purple, electro vision, around her neck sprung to life. Lights dancing with a brilliant static charge as the agent dropped his shroud behind her -

And the good doctor shattered into a violent, and dangerously sharp cloud of electric bats. The horde of which quickly overtook the debt collector.

A scream could be heard, if one listened close enough, across the mountains of Liyue.

Nicht found she wasn't that hungry anymore.

The collector stumbled upon his feet, quickly regaining his composure and his rage. He had a job to do after all, All debts need be payed. If stealth wouldn't work, he had another trick up his sleeve. Fire coursed through his veins, and with a quick snap of his fingers burning wheels of the stuff spun about the two them, dancing ever closer to the archaeologists thin form. Too fast to be deflected by her spear but , not faster than lightning.

Another bat shaped rush flew, giving her more distance from the ill tempered brute.

"Can't I just give you the damn money and call it a day? I have it right here after all?"

She called, from atop the stone pillar, gently jingling the mora purse she kept on her person.He did not answer. She knew the answer would be no, again she wasn't stupid but the part of her that believed in the goodness in people, the part of her she was in all honesty surprised was still kicking, had to ask. When all she was met with was a growl and fireball she narrowly dodged, she couldn't help but sigh her disappointment.  Was he running out of fancy tricks too?

The dagger that flew by her head right after told her yes. Yes he was. Damn.

Dissolving into a cloud of electric pseudo-bats once again, Nicht placed herself right behind the gentlemen. Close enough to hear his gasp of surprise when her spear point pressed against the flesh of his throat. She could almost hear his frantic heart beat - excitement? or fear? or some intoxicating mixture of both? She couldn't stop herself from smirking.

"Tell me" She whispered, unable to stop herself from some amount of dramatics. "Do you know what happens why Pyro and Electro meet?"  She leaned in, close enough to fog the lenses on his mask with her chilly breath. He swallowed, eyes dropping for her own. It was now he who was on the back foot. If he opened his mouth to answer, she couldn't see it. And she wasn't about to let him get snippy remark in - if he could still muster one.

Just as he exhaled, but before any thought of sound, a brilliant flash of purple erupted from her spear point throwing him backwards and knocking him against the stone of a nearby ruin. She grimaced, that was the archaeological record after all but - what could she do? Shrugging, she walked over to his smoldering form, and saw, thankfully, that it was still breathing. Though movement wouldn't be on his mind till long after he came to, and she hoped he like scars, especially lichtenberg ones.

But she had been distracted enough, and unless she wanted to deal with more interruptions like this  in the future, she still had that appoint to make. Even if she was late.

She started off towards the city, only to stop a few feet away, turn, and look at the pitiful form of the unconscious agent before sighing again - this time at herself. Damn her. She was too soft. Trotting back she covered him much as she had the entrance to the ruins, carefully and with local foliage. She wouldn't know if he got got by hilichurls but she'd rather minimize the chance of that being on her heart.

Cleared of that worry, she began to double time it back to the city.

She crested the hills above Liyue around midday, out of breath and exhausted from her expedient step.  She wouldn't have been able to tell the time however, as she lacked both a watch and the sky's darkened with threatening clouds. She would have been grateful to them for sparing her reddened eyes but - a clap of thunder and a sudden downpour put an end to that gratitude before it was even voiced. Just her damn luck.

Her hair quickly grew soaked and plastered to her face, weighing her down like an anchor and slowing her step just as much as the sudden mud. She really did jinx it, thinking about having a good day didn't she. She couldn't bring herself to run anymore, slowing to a methodical but uninspired meander. She knew reasonable she actually should have picked up  her pace but  she just couldn't bring herself too. Exhausted. Dirty. Hungry. And now, soaking fucking wet. Couldn't anything go her way? This was but another bad day of the slew of bad days she had since well... a long time. Longer than she cared to let herself think about too long on.

Shaking her head to hopefully scatter the unhelpful, hopeless thoughts she paused. Letting the rain soak her to the very core in it's cleansing chill. She inhaled. She exhaled. The world simply needed her to take one step at a time. One step would lead to two, after all and -

She sniffed deeply of the air, stomach rumbling with a new hunger at the scent that she caught just below the rain and the sickly ozone smell of lightning. It as a warm smell, rusty and fresh. It was blood, she could smell in the air and it was close. Eyes still closed, she told herself she turned towards the smell because it meant someone was injured - and not the strange hunger that rang at the back of her neck.

She walked with a new step, gliding across the surface of the mud, leaving nary a footprint in her slow wake. It was a lot of blood, that she could, taste on the air. Who ever was injured got hurt badly and needed assistance quickly. She was no medical doctor but perhaps she should have been. She wound her way through the Liyue countryside like a bloodhound, till she reached a debilitated and abandoned village. She couldn't tell how recently without wasting precious time that the poor soul bleeding out here might not have, but she could tell enough to know it was only them for miles.

The scent was thicker here, almost intoxicating, and she fought to keep her senses. Even as she felt the fangs she shouldn't have dig into her tongue, they would have drawn blood if some still flowed in her veins. Shame then, that someone saw to that. She swallowed hard, eyes opening to scan the horizon with a renewed fervor. Quickly, she spotted the glittering deep red upon blades of tall grass, slowly leading into probably one of the more stable buildings in the abandoned town.

Whoever this blood belonged to was smart, keeping their path as hidden as they could in their injured state. It wouldn't keep wildlife completely away, but it would help. If they lived that was.

Either way, they wouldn't remain hidden for long. She ducked into the building, as silent as the grave, sticking to the shadows as much as she could. Best not catch an injured soul off guard, lest they think to strike at her after all. She wanted to get the uppe - No, she wanted to help, and she didn't want them to hurt themselves. They we're after all probably some poor soul who ran afoul of some hilichurls after all or...

Or she could be complete wrong, as she was in this particular situation.

In the depths of the ruined building, seated among the detritus and rubble, sat a Fatui agent nursing a rather nasty looking wound on his side and an obviously broken arm. He didn't wear a hood or a full face mask like the debt collector earlier, his fluffy reddish hair stuck to his face with the same combination of dirt and water that had nichts cling to her own, and she could see his eyes were this deep almost... endless blue that threatened to swallow her whole if she didn't look away and face the warring questions in herself.

Did she help him? He wouldn't survive otherwise of this she was sure, the wound was deep, she could hear his frantic heart try to move the blood around his body and only force it out faster. Or did she let him die? The Fatui had many foot swords and, well, one less would be a blow of some kind to them. Or did she listen to the hunger at the back of her throat and take him out herself. Sate herself in such a way as to not need eat for a month or more...

But those eyes, that ran too deep and too dark, strangely hypnotizing and somehow  familiar haunted her thoughts as she stepped into the days last rays of light.  He looked up at her, his red mask obscuring the rest of his face save for a fraction of his jaw which she saw tense, probably on reaction. A hydro vision sat at his belt, stained red with his own blood, and she felt the rain falling outside still -

"I'm a Doctor, Calm Yourself."  She spoke, calmly and firmly in her mother tongue. She expected to have to argue her way a bit, she was after all a stranger who had probably - to the young man at least - appeared as if out of nowhere from the shadows. But she didn't, the rain immediately fell to the ground no longer held by his will and he almost deflated. His shoulders falling, and his chest rumbling with a boyish laugh.

He was laughing?

She couldn't stop herself from giving him a quizzical look. What was so funny about this? Some Fatui nonsense probably, maybe her face was known as the foolish doctor in the mountain of debt or something. She didn't know, and the memory of her vitriolic opinion on the Fatui shook any care she might have had away. Damn him and his laughter. She stepped towards him with rage in her steps, knelt by his side and glowered at him.

"Fool comes so close to Liyue and then bleeds out in an abandoned village, pathetic really..." She grumbled under her breath, digging through her bag for antiseptics and bandages. Her partner in injury here, said nothing to that, but his head did turn to watch her with those lightless eyes of his. Not her work, but her face, she could feel his eyes upon her brow which caused her to furrow them further in discomfort. "What kind of idiots are the Fatui even recruiting these days..." she continued, as she kept pace with her work. His arm would be easy to set if but painful but the wound on his side...

It was deep, and would need more than a simple patch job.

"How's your pain tolerance?" She asked, he didn't answer. Just get looking at her with those eyes, was he trying to unnerve her? She sighed, not noticing the difference in his jaw the smile on the masked mans face hidden from view. He was lucky this time for sure. She took off a glove, as dirty as it would be it's thick leather was important here, She grabbed his jaw without asking and forced the glove into his mouth before explaining in simple terms.

"I'm going to heal you. But my electro vision is worse than my bedside manner in terms of comfort. When it's hurt, bite on the glove. Understood." He nodded, the first real sign of him listening. "Perhaps you aren't completely an idiot then."

She was though, using the energy she stole from the debt collector to heal another damn fatui agent. What kind of week was she having? Sighing, and putting the strangess from her mind she laid her hands upon his would and forced them to mend with the shock of her vision and a flow of bright purple energy into his skin. He shook with a violence and bent almost in two, shuddering with the brutal repair of his own flesh. He would live, but she would need new gloves.

Her stomach rumbled.

And more food.

As the light dimmed, she sat upright and observed his injuries once more. Satisfied with her own work, she gave a stern nod. "You'll make a full recovery in time. Have a doctor in the city relook at your arm, I'm no miracle worker and the split will probably need to be replaced with a better one. The tingling from the lightning will go away in a few days. and the scars well... those fade anyway." She shrugged, as she replaced the bandages upon what scrapes remained and leaned back against a ruined table. Exhausted.

He laughed again. A boyish joyful laugh. After being fucking electrocuted? Was he insane? She rolled her eyes, really what kind of people were the Fatui dealing with if they had this man and well... that doctor  among their ranks.

The man hopped up with a joy in his step. Causing Nicht no end of alarm.

"Hey, hey take it easy!" She chastised, but he was already heading towards the door. Not like she was going to chase him down or anything but she was unfortunately some kind of concerned. If not for his health for her handiwork. At least until -

"I will." He spoke, and she couldn't place his voice no matter how it bounced around her mind "Thanks Althea. What luck running into you!"

And then he was gone, and she was left in the ruined town to think about a name she hadn't used in years. One none of them should have known. In silence, till the sun set.

She didn't know how long she had actually been sat there for. Or if she just moved on instinct. No one should have known that first name, the one she left behind in that little fishing village so long ago. But that man did and... he thanked her? She walked in a confused daze all the way to Northland bank, where the night crew looked at her surprised from behind their domino masks.

If she had more a mind about her she would have asked if they were surprised to find her alive but.... she wasn't and instead she just slammed her payment on the desk. Not even taking the time to identify herself.

The woman behind the desk, looked at her and didn't take the Mora. This uncharacteristic action snapping the archaeologist back to reality enough to hear her next words.

"You're payment's taken care of." It was almost a whisper, low enough so that only the woman and Nicht could hear it. Thus giving the elf like woman only more questions. The first and most important one being a simple

"What?"

#genshin impact #genshin oc #Althea Nicht #one shot

[milfmacbeth]

ask meme: 🎨 🌹 🖤 (looking for tips on this one lmao) 🐐 🍦 ~ <3

🎨 What are your favorite and least favorite colors? Neither one can be orange.

ok, controversial opinion (maybe) but there are no good colors and bad colors. there are, however, good shades and bad shades. that being said, i like green (forest green or any dark green, olive, sage), purple (plum, lavender, mauve), and dark red (oxblood fucks!)

as for least favorite, i've gotten over my teenage dislike of pink but i still abhor hot pink with every fiber of my being. baker-miller pink also fucking sucks. oh, and beige. fuck beige. also not a fan of yellow-green.

🌹 What is beauty? What is truth? How much do you wish you hadn't gotten this ask?

beauty is light filtering through a stained glass window, the burning orange of a sunset or a volcano or a forge, the dark blue of a raging sea, the red of blood or raspberries or lipstick. beauty is the sound of a cello and the sound of laughter and the sound of a crackling fire, and thunder rumbling in the distance. beauty is the smell of smoke curling through winter air and the feel of a warm mug or soft fur beneath your fingers. beauty is anything that makes existence worth it, however briefly.

truth is so much bigger than us. truth is a cosmic thing that we can never reach and yet always have to strive towards. truth is.

at first i dreaded this ask because, despite being a philosophy nerd, i felt woefully underqualified to answer. then i remembered that no one has the answer or else we wouldn't be talking about it for several fucking millennia. then i remembered that i'm a writer, not a philosopher, and had a field day being as pretentious as i could.

🖤 How do you stave off the ravenous jaws of depression?

i don't. but sometimes there's a soft kitty purring in my lap or a good song playing or tasty food or someone decades older than me telling me "it gets better, kid. you won't even remember why you were ever worried in the first place", and that makes being a sentient hunk of carbon on this godforsaken rock a little more bearable.

🐐 Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

fuck. yes.

🍦 Chocolate or vanilla? Does it ease the pain?

chocolate. and yes <3

[iridescentlemoncandy]

Kuromi x Osborn [Part 3]

[Tune of Amusement]

Pic source: here

Part 3

After riding the roller-coaster, we try the other rides and shows the park has to offer.  

Osborn: What else do you wanna play?

MC: Mmm… Let’s take a break for a while.

Osborn: Tired?

MC: We’ve been trying a few thrilling attractions. I’m feeling a bit exhausted.

Osborn: I was looking at the signs just now. We’ll reach a rest area soon.  

We make our way to the rest stop, where there are not only benches, but also a dessert stand. He goes directly to the counter to place an order without waiting for any words from me.

Osborn: What do you wanna eat?

MC: How did you know…?

Osborn: How can I not know what this glutton kitty is thinking?

The sun is shining brightly today, and Osborn who has be accompanying me the whole day is drenched in sweat from his head to his neck,

It’s quite sunny today, and Osborn who has been accompanying me the whole day is drenched in sweat from his head to the neck. I feel touched at the sight of this, yet it also makes me twinge. I raise my hand and point to the menu on the wall.

MC: Actually, I know what you’re thinking as well.

Osborn: Oh? Impressive. Then how about we order for each other?

MC: Okay, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea!

A few moments later, the waiter hands me a glass sea-salt lemon soda. The soda bottle is Kuromi-shaped, and it even come with a pink ribbon straw. Osborn on the other hand is holding a black sesame ice cream cone, with some Kuromi biscuits as toppings. I offer him the soda while looking at him with anticipation.

Osborn doesn’t seem to mind and takes a couple sips from the pink straw. His Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he does so. After a while, he lets out a contented sigh. Perhaps he notices that I am watching him, he gives me a puzzled look.

Osborn: Why do you keep looking at me? The ice cream is starting to melt.

MC: !

What’s the best way of letting him know that his cute look keeps drawing my gaze? At once, I drop my head and bites on the ice cream as disguise. The hot weather has caused the ice cream to melt. Thankfully, it does not impact its taste. Black sesame’s blod flavour blends with the smooth creaminess slowly hits my taste buds.

Osborn: How’s it?

MC: Yummy! Do you want to take a bite?

I bring the ice cream to him, but he only looks at me and leans down. His soft tongue licks the tip of my nose, making me feel a cool and wet sensation.

Osborn: Quite sweet.

It finally dawns on me what happened when I see a dash of the black sesame ice cream on the edge of his lips. I can immediately feel scorching heat on my face.

MC: Did I accidentally smear ice cream all over my face?

Osborn: Yup, you look like a clumsy kitty.

MC: It can’t be that bad! Can’t you just help me wipe them out…?

Osborn: Couldn’t find a suitable wipe, so I had to improvise.

I look at the tissue which comes together with his drink, and can’t decide if I should be angry or laugh it off. He offers me a sip from his drink without waiting for me asking. Even though I am still confused, I still open my mouth and takes a sip.

A gush of lemony bubbles dances on my tongue, followed by a faint aftertaste of sea-salt.

MC: Tasty! But why…?

Osborn: I tasted your ice cream just now, so I’m letting you have a sip of my drink.

He glances at the bottle, and smiles mischievously.

Osborn: You took quite a big sip. Why do I feel like I’m not getting the better end of this deal here?

I understand what he has in mind, and hand the ice cream cone back to him.

MC: Here, I’ll make it up to you.

He takes a big bite, and afterwards apologises by offering me his soda. It keeps going on like this, and neither of us can tell if we are having more of the other’s, or vice versa. As the drink bottoms up, I fed him the last bite of the ice cream as well. I take a bite of the Kuromi biscuit which initially was meant to be the ice cream topping.

MC: Eh?

Osborn: What’s up?

MC: Why is there a paper in this biscuit?

I curiously unfold the paper. On the paper, it was written: “Congratulations, you have won Kuromi’s special prize!”

Osborn: What does this mean?

After inquiring with the personnel, we were informed that the biscuits have randomised notes inside of them. Most of the notes are Kuromi’s quote, but there are also some special exchangeable gifts. As he receives our notes, he congratulates us and takes out a gift.

MC: How lucky!  

I look at the exquisite necklace in my hand. The pendant that comes with it is a cute picture of Kuromi.

Osborn: Let me help you with that.

MC: No, I should be the one to help you put it on!

Osborn: Why?

MC: Because you’re the one who bought the ice cream for me! Hence, this lucky prize should be yours.

Osborn: Only because you’re by my side. I don’t mind wearing it. Just think of it as me protecting this lucky charm for you.

[Introduction] [1] [2] [3] [4]

#light and night #osborn #xiao yi #光与夜之恋 #萧逸

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

An Exploration of Legendary Pokémon Classification, and Why Professor Oak is a Hack (Celestica et al, 20??)

She gulped down what little coffee she had left the exact instant she was done yawning.

“Ugh…dammit…”

Cynthia pushed herself up out of her chair.  She stretched, trying to pre-emptively get her muscles awake and ready for the fresh caffeine headed their way, and then turned towards the door.

“...Oh.  Right.”

The polished wood floor of the villa lay hidden beneath a layer of scattered books and paper—references Cynthia had checked once or twice each before moving on to another source and forgetting they ever existed in the first place.  She slowly swung one foot forward, finding the nearest clearing and carefully shifting her balance to stay upright as she began seeking the next.  Progress was agonizingly slow, but one step at a time, Cynthia inched her way across the room, determined to overcome any obstacle standing between her and another tasty, energizing cup of…

“Wait, did I—”

She realized her hands were empty.  Glancing back at the desk, there it was: a tragically empty ceramic mug with a group of painted Gible frolicking on one side. Cynthia snarled as she doubled back to rescue it.

When she finally escaped the study, mug in hand, she breathed a sigh of relief.  The hallway remained uncluttered, making it a quick walk over to the kitchen.  At last, the coffee pot was in sight…and also empty. She took a second to silently lament this before she began brewing another pot.

“A whole pot?  Yeah, I’m probably not sleeping tonight…”

As she waited for it to finish, she removed her glasses and rubbed her eyes.  In thanks for relieving their exhaustion, they allowed her a good look at her surroundings: gleaming granite countertops, the latest model of every appliance, spotless jars and cutlery arranged in neat rows.  Some part of Cynthia always felt a little bad actually using the kitchens in Caitlin’s villas—they always looked so pristine.  That part always quickly deferred to her stomach.  Outside, the stars and sea sparkled even this late at night, dozens of unseen Pokémon celebrating the beautiful scene with their own unique songs.  Cynthia opened the window and leaned out to listen to them for a minute.

Alola really is wonderful…

Pulling back inside, she wiped the sweat from her forehead.  Her arm was already covered in sweat, however, so it wasn’t as much help as she had hoped.

…aside from this damned heat.

Compared to the chilly climate of Sinnoh, Alola felt like the center of a Magcargo colony.  Cynthia had brought the lightest, thinnest clothes she owned, but even in a tank top and shorts, her long hair wrangled into a messy ponytail, she was burning up.  The idea of chewing on a Rawst Berry to stay cool crossed her mind, earning a chuckle.

“If only it was that easy.”

With her mug refilled, Cynthia fought her way back across the study.  She tapped the keyboard of her Applin Leppabook to wake it up, put her glasses back on, and, with another swig of coffee, dove back into her work.

I can’t believe I’m putting this much effort into something so simple…well, no, I can believe it.

She couldn’t remember the very first time she’d come across mention of the Ultra Beasts, but it was meeting Professor Burnet during her previous visit to Alola that really sparked her interest in the topic. The idea of a whole new sub-group of Legendary Pokémon was such a tantalizing prospect.  However, as she began her research proper, she very quickly came upon an unexpected issue: experts the world over simply could not agree whether Ultra Beasts could truly be considered “Legendary Pokémon”. Cynthia knew she could simply ignore this debate and focus on the actual topic she came to study…but, for one reason or another, she found herself unable to let it go.

Really, it was more a case of a vocal minority. The only reason it was an actual debate was because Professor Samuel Oak had deemed that Ultra Beasts were not Legendary Pokémon, and his experience and standing were enough for quite a few researchers to fall into step with his viewpoint.  Cynthia didn’t fault them for believing his credibility, but it seemed to her more like they were putting blind faith in Oak’s assertions, and that combined with the naysayers’ refusal to do much (if any) actual research on Ultra Beasts rubbed her the wrong way.  So, she cleared some time, asked Caitlin if she had a villa in Alola she wasn’t using (she did, of course), and booked the first flight she could.

Maybe I’m being a little petty.  Too late to stop now, though.

She stifled a yawn and pulled up a digital copy of Oak’s paper on the subject.  One of his key points was the function of the Beast Balls developed by the Aether Foundation: a model of Poke Ball designed specifically for capturing Ultra Beasts. Other models were consistently noted to function poorly at catching Ultra Beasts, and Beast Balls similarly functioned poorly at catching all other types of Pokémon.  Cynthia quoted Oak’s stance and brought up one of Burnett’s papers, in which she detailed the schematics of a Beast Ball procured for research and ultimately concluded that it functioned by targeting and manipulating the unique energy field radiated by Ultra Beasts.

But why should that be the defining characteristic of an Ultra Beast, and what disqualifies it from being Legendary?  Anything that goes through an Ultra Wormhole is irradiated with some amount of that energy, and we have record of Pokémon that, according to all evidence, originate from Ultra Space yet don’t radiate enough of this energy to be registered by Beast Balls.

She looked around a moment before spotting the book she needed next to the window.  Contained within was an account from the Champion of the Alola region of their famous trip into Ultra Space, with details about the Legendary Pokémon Cosmog, Solgaleo, Lunala, and Necrozma sprinkled throughout.  Cynthia added what she needed and set the book down on a nearby shelf.

Oak doesn’t seem to have a problem with Cosmog or Necrozma being considered Legendary, despite their extradimensional origins.  The only real difference between them and the other Ultra Beasts is that they aren’t as thoroughly irradiated.  Hmm…probably worth elaborating on, but that’ll do for now. Where’s…?

She paused to take a drink of coffee, and then got up and began scanning the resources scattered around the room. Eventually she made it to the far side of the study, picking up a book to confirm it was what she needed, and quickly hopped back to the desk to flip through it.  The library in Malie City, Ula’ula Island, had a wealth of folklore and reported sightings for her to peruse, and was a big part of why she’d come all the way to Alola to work on her paper.  This volume in particular featured a detailed analysis of the fabled battles between Ultra Beasts and Alola’s Guardian Deities—exactly what she needed to begin building a case in the UBs’ favor.

Numerous appearances in folklore, with some saying that’s the only place they exist, not to mention exceptional power…if that’s not a Legendary Pokémon, then what is?

Cynthia typed up a summary of one particularly promising tale, and then spun around in her chair.

“Next is…”

She only had to scour half the room to find her next target, leaving the previous book in its place without even realizing it.

Alright, Unovan mythology.  Accounts of other Legendaries’ power should provide a good comparison.  I’ll pull some from every region, that should form a pretty complete picture.

Into the paper went the information on the Unovan legends, then Kalosian, Hoennian, Johtonian.   As she flipped through the book on Johto, a chapter title caught her eye: “Theories on the Origin of Unown”.  She skimmed the page automatically; just as she came to her senses and prepared to set it down, she noticed a line at the very bottom of the page that seized her attention.

“‘One hypothesis proposes a connection between the Unown and the Ultra Beasts from Alolan folklore, based upon the theory that Unown inhabit or originate from another dimension’...really…”

Cynthia glanced at her screen and pursed her lips. It wasn’t entirely relevant—the idea of Unown being Legendaries wasn’t exactly new, but it had always been a weak case and one she wasn’t willing to argue for.  Still, this was a potential counterpoint, meaning it might be to her benefit to investigate further. (She knew full well the truth was that her curiosity had been piqued and she was unable to resist it.) The next thing she knew, she’d read the entire chapter and was searching for Unown articles available to read online.  Somewhere around 3 AM, one such paper mentioned Arceus, and she smacked her desk as she remembered she had been about to cover Sinnohan legends in her paper when she started on this tangent.

“Why do I keep doing this?  Alright, back on track.”

She pulled her paper back up and re-read the last few paragraphs, then began looking for the book on Sinnoh myth she’d brought.  A book on Paldean legends nearly distracted her (she set it on her desk for later), but eventually she found it under a few other books on the floor.  She quickly added the relevant information to her paper: Dialga’s power over time, Palkia’s ability to rend space, the story of Arceus shaping the world, Giratina’s dominion over the Distortion World…

Cynthia’s movements slowly ground to a halt. Actually, they were all said to live in different dimensions, she realized. Arceus was born before this universe existed, and was thought to watch over it from a higher plane.  Dialga and Palkia, too, oversaw their respective duties from their own distant realms, and she had seen Giratina’s world with her very own eyes.  It was such an alien place, she recalled, a reality governed by laws entirely different from those of the world she knew.  Consulting the rare accounts of those who claimed to have been to Ultra Space, it sounded similar in that regard—though those accounts varied wildly, perhaps referring to numerous other dimensions rather than a singular “Ultra Space”.  Considering all these facts together…

“...No.”  She took another drink.  “No, I’m just sleep-deprived, spouting nonsense.  I’ve already done plenty of research on those Pokémon, I know better.”

She turned back to her computer, fingers hovering just above the keyboard.  Thinking about her past research made her remember something else.  When she had studied the Plates thought to have ties to Arceus, there was one little oddity that had always stuck out to her, one she never did find a satisfying answer for.  Engraved on the back of one Plate were the words “The power of defeated giants infuses this Plate.”  Ordinarily, it wouldn’t have stood out as much, but given their association with Arceus, and the fact that another Plate claimed Arceus “breathed alone before the universe came”…it never quite added up.  Unless, of course, these “giants” came from a different universe.

Cynthia sat there for a long time, perfectly still. Then she leaned back in her chair, covered her face with her hands, and shouted.

“What, so what?!  Arceus fought Ultra Beasts?  Arceus and the others are Ultra Beasts?!  That’s absurd!  The Unown are one thing, but connecting them all the way up to Arceus?!  That’s…”

She spread her fingers so she could look up at the ceiling.  It occurred to her that the connection between Arceus and the Unown was quite well documented, if not well understood.

“...That’s…”

Cynthia sat in silence for a while, just kicking the idea around inside her head.  Finally, she gave a heavy sigh, drained her mug, and went on another journey to obtain a refill.  When she came back, she minimized the paper she’d been working on and opened a brand new document.

“Yeah, definitely not sleeping tonight.”

***

Professor Burnet came to her lab’s lobby with a bright smile.  Cynthia stood up slowly, nearly tripping over herself; her hair was tangled in odd knots and lacking the clips that usually decorated it, and she wore dark sunglasses in an effort to hide the matching dark circles under her eyes.

“I recognize that look,” Burnet said. “Pulled an all-nighter, huh?”

“Yeah, you know how it is,” Cynthia said.  She fished a flash drive out of her pocket. “But I think it just might’ve been worth it!”

Taking the drive, Burnet said, “I’ll review it as soon as I can.  I’m awfully excited to see your defense of Ultra Beasts.”

Cynthia yawned.  “Well, uh, my thesis ended up…mutating a bit.”

“Oh?  Do tell!”

Cynthia grinned, her enthusiasm beaming through her fatigue even if for only a moment.  “I still recommend Ultra Beasts be considered Legendaries, but I think we should broaden the category.  UBs don’t even all come from the same singular dimension, so I think there’s a case to be made for grouping all extradimensional Legendary Pokémon under the ‘Ultra Beast’ umbrella!”

Burnet paused, then laughed.  “Oak’s going to love that!  Sounds like a good read.  I’m guessing you sent a copy to Professor Rowan as well—what did he have to say?”

“He did send a reply…but…”  Cynthia yawned even wider.  “I think I should get some sleep before reading it…”

“Probably a good idea.  I’ll check on you later, Professor Cynthia.”

A groggy wave was about all Cynthia could manage on her way out.  As the oppressive Alolan heat battered her once more, she thought, Though I don’t know how I’m going to be able to sleep…hm, maybe I should stop somewhere for ice cream first…

#Pokemon #Cynthia #fanfiction #her chaotic side has long been alluded to #but the cowards refuse to show us #smh I have to do everything myself