“You may be happy to see children, you two.” said Angelina who had just woken up after the lights had come on, “But after there off to school it’s just going to be another old boring day of us shuttling backwards and forwards along the line as usual, with no paying passengers riding in us, and the engines on the mainline belittling us on how pointless our lives are on this line, claiming that it’s one that’s dying. All the while we are still facing an uncertain future for our home once the copper mine has winded down production for good, with the line mostly likely to be on BR’s chopping block of branch lines to be closed, and yet I don’t know where we’ll go when that happens, and if we’ll be separated or not.”
Here's a bit of a sneak preview and another illustration done for chapter two of book one of TFTTOH. Angelina here has just woken up after hearing Danwood and Sanworth say how they are looking forward to taking the few children they still have traveling with them to school, with her then after grumbling to them about how after that it was just going to be another boring day with no paying passengers traveling on their line, with the engines on the mainline making fun of them about how pointless their life is for them on a dying branch line, while worrying about what would happen to them after it's closure.
Tarmingham Overhead Railway and Characters: © GreatEasternJ69
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After Danny has managed to smooth things over with his rogues, helping them cope with their obsessions in ways that don't cause massive property damage for the living, he ends up getting some lessons from a few of them on different topics.
Technus ends up teaching Danny how to properly overshadow and upgrade electronics.
So when, for one reason or another, Danny ends up in the DC universe, he decides to have some fun when he learns about this world's thing with superheroes.
The next time Superman is dealing with a robbery, a car suddenly appears with a black and white color scheme, and starts to heckle the robbers before stopping their car with some kind of tow line.
Wonder Woman ends up encountering a talking fan that somehow manages to produce gusts of wind strong enough to take most people off their feet.
The Joker hijacks a news broadcast to announce his next plan, only for the camera system to come to life and record the mad clown getting the tied up by wires and beaten up by boom mikes.
The Flash gets some help from a living heater that can shoot flames.
Captain Marvel ends up befriending a talking vending machine that throws concussive soda cans at villains. And can also dispense normal drinks.
Someone ends up meeting a talking phone that just so happens to have a recording of the big bad's evil monologue.
Strange machines suddenly come to life all around the world, often helping various heroes. It's gotten to the point several Justice League Members are betting on who gets a mechanical partner next, and what form they're going to be in. The only thing about this mysterious hero that the Justice League knows is that he goes by the name Rotom.
(Whether or not the DC universe has Pokemon in order for them to get the reference is up to you)
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-They're made out of meat.
Meat?
-Meat. They're made out of meat.
Meat?
-There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat.
That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?
-They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines.
So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact.
-They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.
That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat?
-I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat.
Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage.
-Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?
Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside.
-Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through.
No brain?
-Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!
So... what does the thinking?
-You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat.
Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!?
-Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?
OMG. You're serious then? They're made out of meat?
-Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years.
So what does the meat have in mind?
-First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual.
We're supposed to talk to meat?
-That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing.
They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?
-Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat.
I thought you just told me they used radio.
-They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat.
OMG. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?
-Officially or unofficially?
Both.
-Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing.
I was hoping you would say that.
-It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?
I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?`Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?
-Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact.
So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe?
-That's it.
Cruel, but you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?
-They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them.
A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream.
-And we can mark this sector unoccupied.
Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?
-Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotation ago, wants to be friendly again.
They always come around.
-And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone.
—THEY’RE MADE OUT OF MEAT, by Terry Bisson, 1991
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Sentient household appliances add on
Still like the idea that Magnus has had some of his household appliances for centuries and that they have gained a kind of sentience due to Magnus' magic upgrading them to the technological standards of the current times.
And that as a result, he may sometimes argue with his toaster or coffee machine.
Magnus: "Brewtiful, I'm begging you. I promise I will sleep tonight… or tomorrow night, but I need some caffeine right now. Please, I just need to get through this one last meeting in the seelie realm."
Alec: "Did the coffee machine make you another cup of decaf again?"
Magnus: "I know she is only looking out for me, but as I have explained to her, sometimes things happen and inexperienced seelie children get stuck in the wrong dimension and you need to work through a few nights to get them back home and smooth things over with the queen."
Alec: "Define a few nights."
Magnus: "… 5?"
Alec: "You are going to sleep. I will send Jace and Simon to give the queen your report. Good work Brewtiful."
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