#shadows lol but more in the sense of what these characters are representing if that makes sense?

[trashlie]

Shinae the Light vs Yui the Shadow

This post heavily discusses episode 138 but also pulls from 170, 179, and 180 and discusses things up to 214, but nothing from the FP epsiodes! 

Earlier today I read this post and it got me thinking a LOT - and trust me that I’m going to ramble about something else shortly outside of this lol - regarding shadows and lighting!

One of the episodes that most deliberately plays with lighting and shadows in a very in your face way is episode 138, where Shinae speaks to Rand about wanting to renegotiate her contract. It’s an interesting episode, because Shinae is met with another side of Rand than the man (the father) who was trying to help Nol. This version of him shuts her down immediately and informs her that he has no jurisdiction over her contract.

As readers, we can deduce that he is speaking this way because Yui is around and he cannot divulge any bit of knowledge that he has been working with Shinae, that there is any sense of relationship there. But also, he isn’t lying in that he can do nothing about her contract. Interestingly, he is in the light where she is in the shadow. He’s not the focus of this moment, but I find that very interesting regardless - Rand is unable to help because he doesn’t have that power. They aren’t on equal footing here. One is in the dark, one has the power of illumination - he knows more intimately than Shinae who and what Yui is.

But my thought is not about Rand but rather Shinae and Yui.

Throughout their conversation, Shinae is in the shadow. She is part of Yui’s trap, in a pit she cannot crawl out of. Yui wields power over her both in the sense of her employer and also as a person who has played with her as prey. Yui, too, is in the shadow. While some light casts on her, she faces away from it and it doesn’t reach her face.

I’ve wondered a lot about Yui and what her situation is, why she is the kind of person she is. I don’t think she’s without reasons - I just think we don’t know enough about her to really know yet. One of the popular theories is that of the Mukoyoshi Theory - that is, that a Japanese family with no male heirs will “adopt” the husband of (one of) their daughter, who will take their last name, rather than she take his. In this case, Yui comes from a Japanese family with a family business and it is deducible that there is no male heir. Hansuke’s family name is Shishido - not Hirahara, which means he’s related by his aunt (and Yui has mentioned her before to him). Rand, who we know is not Japanese, married into the Hirahara family and adopted their name and became a part of their family. Thus, his affair with Nessa is even more of a blight - he has a duty to the Hirahara family. It is his responsibility to not mar their name and upkeep their prestige.

We could do a whole think piece about this, and it really gets into my thoughts on Rand and Yui’s relationship, but to sum it up: it is clear that Yui wants to be the one in control, but must defer to Rand, and that she resents it. This is HER family business. I think she wishes that she was the one in control, and that she could wield that control without having to go through Rand. Yui harbors resentment for a patriarchal society in which she wields no power. There’s a lot to read into re: the way she wields her femininity as a tool, but that’s a whole other post. The point is: Yui resents that she does not have the power she thinks she deserves, the power that she’s capable of, and that fully plays into Shinae.

But, for the sake of this post at this time, it’s essentially that Yui, too, exists in the dark, in the shadows. She can only run this company through others - through her marriage to Rand, through Kousuke, the sole heir. But as powerful and intimidating as she is, she, too, is trapped. She, too, is relegated to the darkness, because it is only from the shadows that she can operate. Yui wears a constant mask, always putting on the front of a concerned mother, a feeble frail lady, a sweet simpering maternal woman. The real Yui lives in the shadows. She’s not allowed to freely be the person she wants to be, she puts on a front for society, for the patriarchy, for the sake of being able to move in the shadows.

Shinae’s objective is to escape the shadow, the prison, the dark. She longs to escape poverty, she longs to escape the prison she turned herself into, she longs to escape the job in which she feels unsafe, the contract that she signed, the agreement she made under false premises. She longs to escape Yui’s reach. And while she can’t escape most of those yet, she still works towards the light. unlike Yui, who has accepted that she belongs to and operates in the shadows and pulls people into them with her, Shinae strives for the light at all times. She wants to be a better daughter, a better friend. She strives to be able to help out her father and create a better life for them. And especially since the black and white formal, Shinae’s inclination towards the right side, the side of light, has grown stronger.

It’s not a bad vs good kind of thing so much as Shinae chooses to work honestly. She’s trying to address the things that scare her - the insecurity she felt about Maya and Rika’s friendship, the quiet plaguing fear that maybe Minhyuk also just tolerated her. She’s had difficult conversations with her father, she has had difficult conversations with her friends. Instead of shirking into the shadows, Shinae moves towards enlightenment. Even if things end, isn’t it better for them to end on good terms, with understanding? Even if she gets hurt, isn’t it better than she gets hurt being honest, than never progress at all? Even if she fails, isn’t it better to make effort than live with regret?

Shinae leaving Yui by way of the light is pointed. Yui’s goal is to pull everyone down with her. If she lives in the shadows, so, too, must everyone else. And the thing about this scene is - I think Yui means it, genuinely. She has a very different way of seeing the world than Shinae and even much of us as readers. Shinae believes in working hard; Yui understands that privilege and connections are more powerful. Yui can see in Shinae the makings of a strong, powerful woman - but power doesn’t have to look one way. For Yui, power is controlling those around her, especially the ones who are meant to have power over her. In a world where men are the all-power, Yui feels powerful when she can manipulate and push them around.

But when she tells Shinae she doesn’t want her to make the “wrong choices” I believe her. It’s just... what does Yui consider to be the wrong choices? Much in the same way that so much of ILY changes based on whose perspective you view it through re: Nol and Kousuke, we the same of Shinae and Yui. Yui is a woman who knows how to make the world yield to you, how to get what you want out of it.

This is a whole other tangent, but because I’m trying to validate my Yui views lol, I believe this is part of what Yui has done with Meg and Alyssa. In fact, I feel like Yui has absolutely treated Meg and her obsession with Kousuke as a joke - what woman demeans herself in such a way for a man? It’s the complete opposite of Yui’s power. Men yield to HER, not the other way around. Is Alyssa a test of her will, to see how much she will bend before she can break? Does Yui hope to find a hidden spine in her, someone who will eventually push back? I think that’s why she has shifted to Shinae - she has the fight and the spirit that Yui wants to mold. Shinae is strong and faces her fears. But she also stands for the complete opposite of Yui, which makes her a fun challenge.

As Shinae moves into the light and leaves Yui to the shadows, Yui makes an attempt to pull her back into them. Or maybe, rather, she’s planted the seed? It’s an ominous moment, Yui’s certainty that there will be a time when Shinae will go running to her, will want her help, her step up in the world. But at this moment, Yui is unsuccessful. Though Shinae cannot renegotiate her contract like she wanted, she still makes the choice to deny Yui’s offering. She will continue her path in the light. She refuses to let Yui pull her down into her shadows.

As much as we view this story as a game of chess between the white and dark side, so much of it gets told through the shadows and the light. Who else spends his time illustrated in the shadows, existing outside of peoples’ view, wearing a mask out in the light? Nol is one of Yui’s prey - he’s learning how to stand on his own feet as himself, but so much of his imagery has been enshrouded in shadows, a victim of Yui for so long that he’s forgotten how to make his way out of the dark, until now.

Shinae has the ability to bring him out of the shadow, to give him the eventual courage to exist outside of the shadows, to allow himself to enjoy the light. Every time he turns away, he finds himself drawn back in. Every moment he’s angled himself away from her in effort to stay where he thinks he belongs, to skulk in the dark, he still ends up moving towards her.

And every time that Nol choose to go towards Shinae, he moves towards the light.

Like literally lol. In the pool, he basked there in the dark, willing to finally throw in the towel accept that peace, but because of Shinae, because of his penance, he chose to move towards the light once again. Maybe he thought it would be for the last time, but we’ve seen better.

Shinae guides him back out of the shadows.

And that brings us to my next post: how Shinae is the true adversary of Yui. 

Really, go read @denjidomination​’s post! It’s got me going off on a whole different tangent than I planned to this week, but I think I’ll be able to get to it before the next update. I’ve said for so long now that Shinae is very likely meant to help bridge Nol and Kousuke, but I think more than that, Shinae is the guiding light for them - that in very different ways, both Nol and Kousuke exist in the shadows and are imprisoned by their circumstances and experiences, and Shinae, I think, is the one who will be able to help them fight back against that darkness. I don’t mean this in a “She will save/fix them” kind of way as much as her presence in their lives, what she means to them, will help them to move from that which holds them down. 

But I have a headache so I have to work on that another time lol 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Yui Hirahara #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #I'm pointedly saying light vs shadow because i think in some ways shadow represents feeling trapped and enprisoned #it's not that any of these characters are ever entirely enshrouded in shadow bar Nol whose whole Yeonggi to Nol process has involved pointed #shadows lol but more in the sense of what these characters are representing if that makes sense? #In the chess theory Yui plays for the white side - but from Shinae's perspective she plays for the dark side #I think it's easier to view it as Yui pulling people down and imprisoning them? and please know i mean this very metaphorically! #i'm very well aware that their choices are theirs #it's more like i feel like esp regarding Kousuke and Nol Yui influences that shadow that prison so much #we see that Kousuke's cognitive dissonance pushes him to the breaking point and that this has been propped up by Yui before #I think Yui is happy to keep Kousuke in the dark with her at her side because people like them don't require honor and moreso because #I think Yui resents what Kousuke can do and possess the opportunities afforded to him that she was not allowed #and she is vicariously living through him that he has become a shadow puppet without realizing it #I think Yui is also the main obstacle to Kousuke ever changing himself because she alone is able to pull him back which is especially #important at this stage as she is the only immediate relative who has made Kousuke feel supported and loved - she is the only pillar of #of stability that he has and this absolutely affects how he acts and behaves. how far can he stray before he's forced to return to her side? #look at how things went when he went off to college #and likewise we know that Nol has been imprisoned in the shadows and Yui has actively made his life harder and worse. though he makes the #choice to remain in the dark #he is the one deciding he is undeserving of the life #who created that thought? who put it in his mind? where does it all stem from? #anyway lmao this is so long oh god i always get into the tags and start rambling #but i'm also really excited to explore this thought about Shinae #we always talk about the chess theory as being Yui vs Rand or that Yujing is the formidable opponent #and don't get me wrong Yujing certainly is #but I think the true adversary is Shinae; I think she is the one who can guide everyone out of the shadows

[waltricia]

Happy Polin Day!! 💛 I accidentally wrote an essay about the lighting in this two second clip. I guess I found my Roman Empire.

Nicola said in an interview that the theme of the first season was passion, the second was longing, and the third is romance, and I fully agree and believe her because everything about this clip SCREAMS romance.

As perfect as they are, I have to put aside costume, hair, and makeup, and just praise the lighting right now bc it really deserves to be discussed.

Anyone who has ever read a romance novel knows that when the leading man looks at the leading lady ~lustily~, his expression darkens and he has a devilish glint in his eye, while she has a soft, open expression and stars in her eyes. That is EXACTLY what they achieved by angling a single soft fill light on Luke from below, while having him kinda backlit/ side lit by the key light (the moonlight), and angling that harder accent light on Nicola from above and back, while having the full key light on her from the front.

In classic horror cinematography, characters are lit from below because it casts sinister shadows on their faces. Hell scenes often have characters lit by fire from below (because obviously). This kind of lighting is also great for portraying lust (see Kanthony in the library, season 2 ep 4, both scenes). Lustiness and the devil go hand in hand (because religion lol), and that’s why this slightly sinister lighting looks so good here.

Colin is every bit the romantic hero, and the way the lighting portrays that is subtle, but intentional. His eyes are shadowed and he has that glint. No doubt he’s about to do something bold and scandalous. Just the way Colin is approaching Pen pretty clearly indicates his intentions, but I really like that you can also derive those intentions from the lighting because it evokes such freakin classic romantic imagery.

And in the same perfectly subtle way, she is also classically lit, but representing the other side of the coin. As he’s lit from hell, she’s lit from heaven. The yellow (😉) light on her has an angelic effect. It’s also a soft spotlight, like how they would light Old Hollywood starlets.

When you combine that light with the key light (the moonlight) that fills her face and makes her eyes sparkle, you really see her, and she is meant to be worshipped. That’s what Colin is seeing. And, obviously, being seen terrifies our wallflower. Which just adds another layer to the significance of Colin’s lighting because not only does the lighting tell us what’s he’s about to do (😘), it also makes sense to have him in the devilish lighting because she’s scared. But it’s the good kind of scary of course.

And what’s so god damn beautiful about the whole thing, is that the opposition that I’m seeing between the lighting of Colin and Pen in this moment exists so harmoniously with the equivalence that I also see between the characters. The feeling of connection between them is stronger than it’s ever been. And I’m guessing she’s literally on some kind of platform, like a doorstep or something, because their lines of sight are more level with each other. So the contrast between Colin and Pen itself contrasts with the closeness between them.

I just love how wonderfully complex that is. I am so impressed.

And that’s just the lighting y’all.

THAT’S JUST THE LIGHTING

💡🤯👏🙌😍🐝🌼🪞💛🩵💚✨

#thanks for coming to my ted talk i guess #this scene will be my oppenheimer #i would ace a bridgerton-specific film studies course #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #nicola coughlan #luke newton #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton s3 #lighting #romance #colin x penelope #penelope x colin #love #lust #netflix

[lovelyrotter]

okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare

oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha

bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest

but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long

basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave

so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)

sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing

Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)

so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow

both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion

alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state

once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is

achingly effortlessly cool

oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)

a skilled fighter

a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)

and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)

but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona

achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)

oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)

a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)

a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)

because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with

also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do

#stridercest #davedirk #dirkdave #alphacest #my t #thank you if you read all this HAHAHA #i am dedicated to my craft (autistic) (indulgent)

[alicenpai]

all of my paindora hurts buttons for 2022! ⏳ in my store! 🐇 for these ph buttons, I decided on a unifying theme - if you’ve read the series, you know who the bunny plush represents. each character holds the plush differently, and in turns reflects how they would have treated that represented character. under the cut: more photos of ph merch below! + some spoilery concepts I had while designing these

❗ ❗ ❗  SPOILER START  ❗ ❗ ❗ - oz: self-love. what makes his character interesting, compared to other generic shallow jovial anime protags (sorry LOL), is his exuberant exterior juxtaposed with the neglect he’s faced, causing his self sacrificial morals. “if everyone else is safe then it doesn’t matter if i am hurt”. this drawing represents the self-acceptance that he learned through the journey of the series. - alice: “this is my servant!” for me, alice’s childish notions about possession and servitude eventually grew into a sense of devotion and loyalty to her loved ones. (the entirety of volume 19... around Retrace LXXVI / 76. makes me cry so hard) - gil: gil treasures oz above all. gil is oz’s knight, like the comparison of the characters edwin (master) and edgar (valet) in the in-universe series “holy knight”. i also saw someone reblog this saying “gil is holding the oz bunny over his scar/heart” and i totally didn’t think of that at all but it works so well, thank you for that 😳👍 - elliot: kind of also oz’s knight. i can imagine here he would have said “get behind me!”. not anything important but i really like how the hand turned out in this one - leo: i planned the lighting so that he’s both in the light and in the shadow. tormented by both his duty and his morals

#pandora hearts #oz vessalius #gilbert nightray #elliot nightray #alice (pandora hearts) #leo (pandora hearts) #i feel like tagging them this way is still kinda spoilery bc it's like. what are you hiding guys 🧐🤔❓ #my art #i treat tumblr posts like they're blog posts and i'm not sorry #i need to reread ph at some point since there's a lot of nuance i probably lost during my 1st read through #but it's a series that's near and dear to my heart #it's just very dense... and im not much of a binger #<- ph being dense is probably why it's such a hard recommend at least to me

[thecollectivefixation]

A deep dive into the MK1 cinematics (PT1?)

Hi, I'm a nerd and I like breaking apart scenes for small details and hidden meanings that adds to the overall story. For my first official post on The Collective Fixation blog, Mortal Kombat 1 is going to be topic subject today. I’ll be talking about random scenes in the game and trailer that I found really cool and some of the relationships between characters. (I actually blame my family for introducing me to MK1 the other month and I’ve literally not stopped thinking about it so lets get into it hehehe.)

!WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Ok MK1 is definitely in my top three list of best looking cinematics in video games.

This scene from the trailer was my favourite because it uses the lighting in the building as a medium for foreshadowing. Scorpion (Kuai Liang) being in the warm, bright lighting while Sub-Zero (Bi-Han) being in the cool, dark lighting. The light side referring to Liu Kang as he is first seen with light around him as he ascends down and Shang Tsung representing the dark side as he steps out of dark shadows revealing himself in the trailer. Foreshadowing the betrayal and the two sides of the story that occurs further on in the story.

When Smoke first gets introduced he is seen under red light which can indicate danger or a sense of evil, paired with the dramatic shift in music from calming to almost a startling shift into a intense music. This convinces the audience to think that he is the antagonist in that current moment. The extreme close up on his face shows off his emotions, which is difficult to do since he has the mask on, so actors have to get creative with their facial expressions. We see this with the intense look Smoke has when surveying the area, indicated with his eyebrows and eyes. Also the camera pans left to show off more red light on his face. The camera is below his face making a low camera angle, low camera angles most commonly indicate a sense of power, strength and intimidation to the subject in frame.

(Side note: Live Laugh Love low camera angles, you see them so much in this game and I love itttttt)

The film codes (technical and symbolic) in the scenes between Johnny Cage and Kenshi Takahashi play an important part in the growth of their relationship. When Kenshi is revealed to the audience, the camera pans up from his feet to his sword to his face leaving in at a low camera angle. This increases dramatic tension by slowly revealing to the audience what Johnny sees. When taking in account of the music changing to a upbeat fighting kind of soundtrack the audience makes the conclusion of you guessed it danger, antagonist.

(Ofc cause he isn't the actual villain in the game but as the time he is lol)

(Side note: i love the way the game developers made it so the cameras seems hand held or on a dolly and not fixed in place, seems like we are in the game/story experiencing everything with the characters.)

Not that important but I love how the light from the pool reflects off both Johnny and Kenshi, its all about the details.

Now lets talk about THE SLOW MO BETWEEN JOHNNY AND KENSHI. Gotta admit, it caught me off guard a little, because normally a slow mo is used to focus on a character’s emotional reaction to a person, place or event in that current moment. And after thinking long and hard, I have come up with a conclusion on why the directors made this decision.

To show the tension between Johnny and Kenshi. Kenshi at the beginning of the story does not like Johnny or his ideals, its shown between dialogue when talking about their reasons to becoming Earthrealm defenders and Kenshi disapproval. And is the base of why they interact in the first place, because Kenshi wants Sento and Johnny wont give it over. The slow mo focuses on kenshi’s facial expression of aggravation and intensity about his fight with Raiden and about Johnny’s bad sport man ship in the previous scene with Johnny vs Raiden when Johnny’s ego was talking was basically he talked down Raiden’s abilities. This contrasts Kenshi’s ideals of honour.

(side note again, I haven't done a full deep dive on their characters nor have I done a deep dive on a character so I may have gotten some stuff wrong but I haven't fully played the entire game yet I'm like halfway rn so yea)

Ok that’s all for now, I’ll maybe talk about more scenes once I fully play through the game. Feel free to share your options because I love talking about these kind of things.

-Bookworm

#mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mk1 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #tomas vrbada #mk1 smoke #sub zero #bi han #kuai liang #scorpion #mortal kombat 1 #deep diver #cinematography #film #film analysis #game analysis #thecollectivefixation

[aroanthy]

thinking about kanae and her relationship with her parents and akio and his relationship with her parents and just like…. ideas about patriarchs and fathers and family in utena. and incest obviously. you know there’s something so horrifying about kanae’s situation, beyond the obvious fact that she’s not yet graduated high school and she’s being married off to a child predator who is using their relationship to levy more power over more children. and her mum. and the fact that we don’t ever SEE her dad. fathers in utena have, shall we say, the worst track record in the book. i have so many things that i want to say about representations of Adult Men in rgu and specifically representations of fathers but it all circles back to their absence and imitation.

like, okay. i think the only (non-silhouetted, ie Actual Flesh) father we see is miki’s, and even then we don’t see his face. similarly we don’t see kanae’s mum’ face though she too is a Flesh Parent. don’t even get me started on how the only two visual representation of utena’s parents are their coffins and graves. also don’t get me started on that One shot from episode 10 that i use in all of my amvs of the silhouetted kiryuu parents because as you can probably tell from my heavy use of it in my amvs, i find it a deeply fascinating shot. swagever. all of this is to say, dads are not In The Flesh in utena.

im excluding the movie from this discussion bc whilst im a diehard aou lover and would never normally eclipse it from my analysis like this, the choices it makes in representing touga’s father break with rgu’s typical stylistic choices in a way that i honestly think is less effective. that whole sequence is incredibly visually rich in every other way and includes symbology that is some of the most compelling in all of rgu, imho, but it’s like. gahhh. i know it’s an active choice to represent him as Just A Guy, and you could argue ‘well akio’s Just A Guy’ but it’s. it just irritates me. i don’t think it’s meaningful in the way that utena likes to be meaningful. id argue that seeing his face doesn’t contribute anything, but idk maybe i just don’t like looking at his horrible face. it’s probably just that but also im right it’s a lacking stylistic choice

rambling side note aside, i get to my actual point that i technically already alluded to: akio. akio’s not a dad but akio is positioned as a (pseudo?)father figure to (checks notes) anthy, utena, kanae (hey remember she’s what started this post lol), touga, id throw nanami in, you could probably make a tangential argument for miki and kozue, ruka’s an interesting one, and mikage (maybe??). this is for a couple of reasons. he’s the (acting) chairman of the school that all the characters i just listed attend, he’s the guardian/caregiver for three or four of them, and, fundamentally, he guides and governs their lives to the best of his ability (not in the sense that he’s trying really hard to raise these kids, in the sense that he’s trying to control them. lol). BUT. crucially. he is an approximation of a father, an imitation of the patriarch, even and especially to anthy.

why does this matter? well, funnily(?) enough it circles back to why i dislike aou’s choice to portray touga’s father as A Guy. the powerful men in ohtori— and when i say ‘powerful’ here, i specifically mean men who are not marginalised, men who are not racialised, men who come from money and have never had to reach the top of the tower, rather always resided at its summit— are not seen by us. akio is the acting chairman, the acting father, the stand-in who stood up for something that is altogether worse than him, that made him who he is in such an insidious way. and i just think that’s really fucking interesting to think about wrt his status as a brown man, being racialised, being The Thing That We See when everything else— the inappropriate vice principal, miki’s piano teacher, mr ohtori, mr kiryuu (anime version), even off-hand dialogue from shadow girls about adult men in positions of power like mr judge (papa! daddy! god!!)— is obfuscated and implied. and i don’t want to suggest that that’s an intentional commentary on the racist mythologising of brown and black men as innately sexually violent, because. It’s Not. and utena massively drops the ball wrt race, but because of that lack of explicit, intentional commentary, it creates this strange dynamic between akio, the only racialised man in the show, and Every Other Guy. and that’s a very long-winded way of saying ‘maybe poisoning mr ohtori was a good thing actually’

#it’s late and im rambling so if this doesn’t make sense i am sorry #i should really start compiling good rgu posts about race bc most of what i say on it is just reiterating what other people have said #and i want everyone to look at those like seven posts bc i think they’re so damn interesting and insightful #anyway. it’s my sideblog it doesn’t have to be perfectly articulated etc etc #csa mention #incest mention #obfuscation abventures #dais.txt

[sincerelystesichorus]

astarion, anne carson, & autobiography of red - small character study blurb

In which I've written 40k words of Astarion character analysis fanfiction and I'm definitely still normal.

Astarion used to be blue, but ever since that night two centuries ago, he was reborn red. And he had spent at least the past century thinking that red was irreplaceable. It was – red, it was in his blood and the little blood Cazador would let him wring from rats, corroded and stained. His very life force. He was Cazador’s, his spawn, his jewel, his ruby. There was no cure for red. Not until you became the successful means to an end. He had been sure of it. Being red wasn’t good. It made everyone who wasn’t red, and that felt like most everyone, stare at you like you put off a certain aura… like they knew you were a monster that could only act off of instinct and emotion. And it was so frustrating, because parts of Astarion were blue still, knew what was better, but they were nothing in comparison to the suffocation of red. The emotions, and especially anger, fear, came on so strong. It was hard not to act on them, to test out what the boundaries of pure action were. Astarion knew the color and impulse all too well.

I expand way more on the idea of people as colors within my writing than Autobiography of Red does, where Geryon is the only one who is red. This further pushes Geryon's feelings of being separated from humanity in his narrative, but there's a lot of inherent evil and fucked up things within Faerun so I felt expanding on colors and specifically shades/hues was a better way to communicate this for Astarion.

Geryon's red is tied very instinctually to emotion though, and so representing red as a chaotic force of emotion in my fic didn't feel like too far a step. I took a lot of inspiration from Magic: the Gathering's color pie lol. While you never get an exact description of what's wrong with Geryon, you get a lot of the symptoms, reminiscent of some sort of innate childhood mental illness, on top of the obvious trauma present in his story.

Back to Astarion, though. I've just never not been able to code him with CPTSD, I think that's obvious, but I also know that poor bastard has a personality disorder skffkjdf. The game always hammers in he has no sense of self outside of his looks, which he can't even be sure of because he can't see himself. Astarion has to work his confidence and self-image off of memories of his body and face from two centuries ago, and from his master's word. Cazador has assigned him to this seduction role (or, I feel its at least implied that Astarion was ultimately forced into it because he was seen as the Szarr runt, he was pretty and easy to push around, and I'm also pretty sure Petras has a line about getting to eat dogs now and then?) and Astarion fulfills it because it's all he can do. All he feels good for. His actions aren't his own for two hundred years, and in a morbid way of coping with constant sexual trauma, he functions off of "Well, at least I'm pretty," but even that assumption comes from Cazador's rule.

Astarion had decided he was mostly pure red, splashes of black and blue coming in, bright and visible. The remnants of his past and an even deeper level of Cazador’s corruption, bruising his psyche.

Carson is again sparing with other color imagery as to fully emphasize Geryon feeling like this big red monster, but I love this little excerpt on fearful anger.

Black/shadow is already a strong force and theme within the game so it was easy to work with, acknowledging it as a sort of staining evil. Astrion has his later lines about how he never stopped viewing himself as Cazador's slave, and I think showing that corruption is obviously important. He's hurt but can still heal (as opposed to an ascended Astarion... who I have little if any hope for sdfkjdskf).

Cazador had spent the last two centuries branding it into his skin and mind, breaking his psyche to the point Astarion was worried there’d always be little cracks that remained. That he’d always be Cazador’s wilted poppy, ashamed and folding in on himself, his neck miserably drooped aside for the taking. 

Cazador is Astarion's Herakles, and I think that metaphor works even better considering that whole little side lore with Vellioth in the ruins. Herakles kills Geryon because he must, Geryon is a way for Herakles to ultimately reach a life free of consequence, but it's not like Herakles is innately malicious in the act. He is hardened after already facing so many labors and the trauma that was forced on him by Hera that induced his journey in the first place.

Cazador wants power, some part of him is probably truly convinced he's easier on his spawn than Vellioth was to him (a lot of insults to Astarion are about his feelings and "whining", Cazador feels vindicated in his trauma and is far gone), and sacrificing Astarion is simply a part of that journey. There is no world where their destinies do not intertwine. Geryon will always be pierced by Herakles, and Astarion wouldn't be the Astarion we know without being pierced by Cazador (and without his ultimate decision to finally separate himself from him, or to become him.) Astarion, understandably, will never not feel some sort of shame or agony over this moment, from natural emotions and I'm sure years of Cazador victim-blaming him. He consented to Cazador's help that night after all, didn't he? (And we simply won't acknowledge the coercion.)

Astarion’s attempts to prolong the inevitable were shattered by thick layers of stone suddenly slamming in front of his face, muffling sound and casting him into a void. He could hardly hear Cazador’s foul laugh as he departed. Astarion waited all night for Cazador to return. And then all of the next day, and the next one after that. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Astarion started to agree that dying would have been easier. More peaceful. He had pondered hundreds of ways to attempt to kill himself while stuck in this abyss, the voices that had started developing only giving further inspiration, but it was impossible. He was sure.  All he could do was wait. Beat and claw at the stone around him. Curse. Repeat. Sometimes he'd wonder. If he'd ever get out of here. If Cazador would remember after forgetting. If this would be his forever. The voices began to recite to him again. Just how long eternity can be.

I think this is the greatest and most obvious similarity between these two, within Carson's retelling. Geryon feels somehow trapped and doomed by the narrative from his early childhood, and receives some blunt confirmation of it when he faces early sexual abuse. This affects his entire life, his early relationships. Geryon can't be older than ten in this excerpt, but knows the pain of isolation because of his trauma and for feeling different.

Astarion was plucked up by Cazador right out of law school. While for us it's not all that young, for elves he was fiercely immature, basically just starting to come into himself at his first big-boy job. Astarion was likely raised with a lot of privilege that also made him a bit more naive, his book smarts not meeting street smarts, which has him meet his end. In his undeath, that basically flips, Astarion plays his manipulation games and indulges in petty crime and seduction, unable to dedicate himself to studies. He reads and he's witty, but can you imagine the Astarion we know as a judge? It's giving Divorce Court. It's giving Judge Judy. (Honestly maybe that's what got him whacked in the first place.)

Astarion is already constrained to what Cazador lets him be as a slave. He's less than a person, and his own body is one of his greatest trauma sources.

All of this, to be punished so supremely when making an act of slight self-preservation. Astarion wanting to maintain some of his principles and let someone go. It becomes his greatest regret, his worst and most defining punishment. It's how Cazador breaks him.

I restructure some of the circumstances within my fic, as to better tie in the main romance, but it still functions as a punished act of self-preservation for Astarion. I'm also sure most people are familiar with the pain that solitary confinement can bring, but if not, it's genuinely inhumane and dehumanizing. Lack of stimulation is extremely damaging to the psyche, I wrote in Astarion breaking into psychotic episodes while enclosed, but even in game, he speaks about going catatonic. I'm sure minorly from exhaustion after fighting, but also from the isolation. His mind likely just drifted and dissociated beyond belief, and I can't imagine it. This is my favorite piece of Astarion's story we are given, it really is just so pivotal and heartbreaking, to be punished for having freewill in the most objectifying circumstances.

In summary to Astarion Ancunin I just sorta feel like this I guess...

ddfsdfdk but yeah just emo about my poor boy feeling so weird and disconnected yet so drowned in his own emotions you know...

[my homage to autobiography of red, fic series page, my ao3 page]

#astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 #character analysis #character essay #anne carson #classics #mythology #ao3 writer #bg3 fanfiction #feeling emo about the 6th century ig #character study #writeblr #geryon #my blorbos from fragmentary poetry and crpg #cazador szarr #halstarion #character psychology #just my opinions <3 #going delirious #sswcbh #qb

[seraphicghost]

Talk about mhastuck, I beg of you. 🙏

the god tiers and why i picked em kind of a long post so im putting it under the cut

Deku - Heir of Hope

Heir: Passive manipulation class. One who is changed by their aspect or inspires change in their aspect.

Hope: Control over positive emotions and hope itself. Metaphorically it represents belief.

well its obv. He is the one who inherits hope. He bends it to his will and inspires those around him. hes the leader because of the faith he has and wants to everyone to feel like that too! its not too difficult to find his classpect. In terms of character, i think deku would naturally want to motivate his friends throughout the game and when he eventually goes grimdark, hes just VERY firmly having faith but in a pissed off way. Hes just a good lil guy C:

Bakugou - Prince of Time

Prince: Active destruction class. One who destroys their aspect or one who destroys with their aspect.

Time: Control over time itself and the purity of the timeline. Metaphorically it represents patience.

i think most people jump the gun to give bakugou the aspect of rage but thats not really who he is. Bakugou is not built on hate, hes just grouchy and super impatient. As a Prince of time, he'd be the one who destroys time. to me, itmimics the damage explosions can do but more so in a grander scheme of things. His ability can straight up fucking destroy time as he he'd like but i think as bakugou, he'd know exactly how to use it over time but it'd take learning given his impatience. Princes are also bossy mfs and thats him! Destruction and regret are riddled inside him! he'd be wishing he could go back and leave everyone with doomed timelines until he gets a grip. Bakugou destroying time also just sounds fuckin cool.

Shoto - Knight of Heart

Knight: Active exploitation class. One who makes use of the aspect given to them.

Heart: Control over emotions and the soul itself. Metaphorically it represents one’s inner self

i was told he'd be a better blood player but to me that doesnt make any sense. The whole point of shoto is to break blood bones (as my bestie put so well). His entire character is built on becoming his own person and making his power his own. Hes emotional and wants to understand his inner self. He's empathetic (i.e the "hes just like me" scene) , hes understanding. as a knight of heart, he makes use of that. He would struggle with it as first but overtime become amazing at it. He'd be able to provide stability to his friends emotionally and create bonds with them. His understanding of his friend's emotions would help him know how to get them to act in just the way they'd need to survive.

Ochako - Maid of Space

Maid: Active creation class. One who creates their aspect or one who creates through their aspect.

Space: Control over size, speed, and placement within space. Metaphorically it represents creativity.

From what i know, Maids tends to struggle with their role as a person. I think Ochako would be in the shadow of others until she's able to understand her own worth. she has insecurities will struggle with that until later. And Space because 1. gravity duh. 2. its a creative aspect. Its the inverse of time (BASICALLY i want her to scruff bakugou when hes being an idiot). She'd be tasked with fixing things. She'd had to get bakugou to get a grip, she'd have to be the one who shakes the grimdark out of deku, she'd create paths for them and herself and just go apeshit! I think deku would be the lead of the team, bakugou the strategy, shoto would be support and ochako would be the rock. she'd keeping them all together while also paving her own.

idk the other four yet but also from my understanding, a game cannot be truly successful without a time and space player so two of them had to be it and deku was already hope and i got attached to knight of heart shoto. also sorry if this is DUMB lol i just love writing about godtiers even if im a lil wrong :L

#MHAstuck #zio talks #mha #hs

[psychewritesbs]

What are your top 5 (or top 7) favorite moments from JJK (so far)? Just want to say, you're the first person im tumblr (that I know of), that not include Gojo as their top 5 fav JJK characters, so refresing.

I can't say the same for myself, my top 5 are : Yuji, Gojo, Geto, Nobara, Megumi (sorry I'm kinda basic)....

Do you agree if said that Megumi and Tsumiki are "toxic doom siblings" (like wei wuxian, jiang yanli and jiang cheng from MDZS)?

Thanks if you want to answer....

Can I just say I love how specific this is? Five or Seven... 🩵.

Ok, lets see how many I can come up with under the cut'o...

So.... about Gojo--he is alright. I just don't find him or his character archetype relatable (except for when he died). I've found that for me to care for a character I have to be able to self-insert to a certain extent. I need to vibe with them.

Love your "basic" top 5 lol. idk what I'd call my top jjk characters... psycho? I mean...

Ok before the top jjk moments... I haven't read/seen MDZS so I have no clue about these siblings. I googled it but all I got out of it is that one of them is adopted or something like that? What I'll say is that Megumi and Tsumiki straight up have bad luck.

Kinda interesting to think that maybe Megumi's bad luck is the "payment" he has to make for having a technique like 10s... (think FMA law of equivalent exchange in alchemy).

Top jjk moments

In no particular order but ofc anything Megumi is amongst my top moments.

Yuji faces his mortality

When I saw this scene in the anime I was very impressed that Gege would go there because I've seen enough shonen anime to know that Yuji's reaction, as a shonen mc, was real af. I knew jjk was special because of this moment.

Chimera Shadow Garden

This moment knocked the air out of me. Everything from Gojo's words to Megumi and how they were exactly what he needed to hear, to Megumi showing us the beast he keeps tucked away in his shadow.

This moment is why I read jjk.

Gospel of Sukuna

This is a more general one. Thing is, the aura is cool and all, but I love seeing the source of the aura, Sukuna's mindset and sense of self, just as much. His conversation with Yuji from ch. 214 is one of my favorites because it revealed A LOT about him, same for 238. The way he absolves others in death is *chef's kiss*.

Shirtless 2D Buddhist Monks Flex their Egos

Listen. I don't read jjk for the battles. Even though Gege tends to reveal a lot of important details during battles, I get bored with the battles actually. That said, I can still appreciate that, at its core, jjk really is about 2d shirtless Buddhist monks flexing their egos. Hakari vs. Kashimo is my favorite example of Gege's testosterone-driven brand of existentialism.

I'm You

I kinda speed-read through Shibuya when I picked up the manga because I just couldn't put it down, so this moment wasn't particularly impactful at the time. In retrospect, and partly thanks to MAPPA's fantastic handling of it, I LOVE Yuji coming to terms with all of him, even the parts he wanted to reject within himself (what Mahito represented to him). This is so depth psych.

Ego death

I literally had a tear rolling down my cheek when I saw this panel. On top of that, this moment is very depth psych too.

Thanks for stopping by anon!!!

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #god i love jujutsu kaisen

[runawaymun]

Harvest?

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

is it weird to say Bean from Ender's Shadow?

To be fair I always identify with weird little kids in stories, like Sara in Little Princess, Anne in Anne of Green Gables, etc. But Bean has this extra layer of being weird and alien, but hyper analyzing everybody around him that the other two characters don't have. Anne & Sara tend not to understand why the people around them do the things they do. Bean understands wayyyyy too much and I relate. Plus he's little (ain't worth a bean), and Orson Scott Card does an amazing job as an author when he employs this as a character trait. IDK if I'm making sense, but being abnormally little is not something that I see in media very often, portrayed as something more than a passing character trait. Like we get little kids. We get skinny kids. Etc. But it's usually not like, portrayed as this huge life-defining trait. As a kid where growing up (and as an adult) -- that was all anybody really had to say about me, and boy it's vexing. It's like that for Bean in the book, too. I can't really think of any other media, actually, that does this at all to the level that Orson Scott Card does with Bean. So I guess, both as a kid reading Ender's Shadow and still as an adult, it's something that I always connected to and liked to see represented with a main character. And yeah just the way he reads people and he experiences childhood was something that I instantly connected to when I read the book. Loved it. 10/10.

I also gotta say Shallan, from Stormlight Archive, but again she's on the list of-- okay she's not a kid--- but she was definitely a weird little kid and she's a weird adult lol. There's a reason Words of Radiance is my favorite of the series so far. I always am so excited to read Shallan chapters and I track with her and the way she interacts with the world so, so much. I haven't finished Rhythm of War yet but I definitely am most invested in her plot so far (go figure lol).

I have to admit there's not an LOTR or Silm character that I can look at and go 'that's me' lol. I think I see pieces of myself in various characters, but there has never been an LOTR character who I have really identified with, which I suppose is a bit strange considering how many of them are my blorbos lol.

ask game

#this got long #i have thoughts on bean lmao #if you've read ender's game and haven't read ender's shadow i hiiiiighly recommend it #ender's game is good obviously but ender's shadow had me bawling my eyes out

[skaruresonic]

About Sonic 3, I feel the only reason the fandom (and what I assume is non-fandom becayse most of their exposure to Maria as a character amounts to "she dies lmao") wants to see her death on-screen so much is because it'll be a "funni maymay" like "this kid-friendly movie has a freaking child get shot on-screen, funniest shit I've ever seen".

Like, remember the very first trailer for the first movie? Did you know that a good number of recent comments under it are actually sad that the movie didn't turn out as bad as it could have been and wasn't a "giant memefest" that people could "enjoy" in an ironic sense? It's just the lowest hanging fruit for those who just want to meme on the movie.

Tangent, but I'm actually interested to see how much this crowd overlaps with the crowd which swears up and down that Mr. Principles is Quintessential Sonic, and if you don't agree, something must be wrong with you on a moral and psychological level. Folks who cry the moral high ground the hardest tend to make for the biggest hypocrites lol.

Dead Maria jokes are nothing new. Fandom's cracked them since time immemorial. The thing is, though, I would think that 23 years since SA2's release, people would be past that and maybe try to follow in ST's stead of giving her life more importance than her death. Because there is absolutely merit to the idea that she only died to give the men around her something to angst about... But the solution to that isn't to voyeuristically focus on her demise to the point of making it a meme?

---

Like, remember the very first trailer for the first movie? Did you know that a good number of recent comments under it are actually sad that the movie didn't turn out as bad as it could have been and wasn't a "giant memefest" that people could "enjoy" in an ironic sense?

(and what I assume is non-fandom because most of their exposure to Maria as a character amounts to "she dies lmao")

Well, considering nonfans seldom respect Sonic as a franchise because of muh inconsistency, I'm inclined to not give their opinion any merit. They can come back when they've played the games. Not holding my breath for that one lol.

I'm just baffled that fans are also clamoring to see Maria get shot onscreen because it's like, et tu, Brutus? You should be past this kind of childishness by now. Much like how Shadow's backstory cannot retroactively become any Deeper by cramming in more pointless angst, seeing her die for the hundredth time will make her death seem more overplayed than poignant. At this point, asking to see her die is just a voyeuristic desire to see suffering for suffering's sake.

Also, if you think about it, neither X nor ShTH showed her explicitly getting shot. They just heavily implied it, to varying degrees of tastefulness (including the sound of the gunshot was... not ShTH's best decision, to put it extremely lightly, but at the very least the game didn't show the bullet going into her body).

I really don't mean to be the "don't have fun" guy. However, seeing everything about Maria online get boiled down to her death, her memory being dangled like a carrot to get a Pavlovian reaction out of Shadow, or her being dismissed entirely as a "generic" character really bugs me as a fan of the character. I'll be the first to admit her handling has flaws and maybe isn't the most fleshed-out portrayal around, but I also feel fandom exacerbates these problems by further objectifying her in this manner. Again, nobody's out here cracking Tikal stampede jokes every time her name crops up.

The whole point of Maria's character is that she's a normal girl, and it is a tragedy that her life was senselessly cut short. She isn't some great scientist like her cousin and grandfather, nor does she need to be. She represents humanity's capacity for goodness in spite of the horrors it inflicts.

Can you imagine the strength of character it must take not to hate the people who hunted you down and shot you, and instead retain your hopes for mankind's happiness? Where do you think Shadow gets it from? Gerald didn't give him a soul identical to hers for no reason.

but nah let's pop a cap in her ass so Shadow can do a cri

#asks

[aureentuluva70]

Spoilers for Ep 6 of Rings of Power, Udun:

Wow.

Just...Wow.

I really enjoyed watching this episode. Probably one of my favorites so far. It's just...beautiful. The fight choreography, the cinematography, and that cliffhanger of an ending! I can't stop thinking about it. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

This entire episode reminded me so much of the Battle for Helm's Deep from the Two Towers, which has to be one of the greatest battle sequences in all of cinema. The whole battle is extremely well done, even if quite gruesome at times. I truly cannot count just how many things I love about this episode, but I will try to focus on a few of those things.

First and foremost, and obviously the most important:

ARONDIR AND BRONWYN FINALLY KISSED!!!!!

AND HE BASICALLY PROPOSED TO HER AT THE SAME TIME!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰💕💕💕💕💕!!!

(Oh, and a nice Yavanna reference too, even if she wasn't referenced by name)

The scene with Bronwyn and Theo had me legit tearing up. It matches almost perfectly the passage from Return of the King, and has to be one of my favorite parts of the book. "In the end, this shadow is but a passing thing. There is light and high beauty forever beyond its reach. Find the Light, and the shadow will not find you."

I loved the battle, although I wish it wasn't as, well, gorey. Like, did they really have to show us that orc blood is black by it literally gushing out of the dude's eye? Did they really have to show us the torturous process by which they're trying to heal Bronwyn's wounds? I kinda wish I hadn't seen that, even if we did get a nice little family moment between Theo, Arondir and Bronwyn.

Oh, and I absolutely adore Isildur's bond with his father, and am glad to see that Aragorn is indeed descended from a long line of horse girls lol.

But its the scene with Adar and Galadriel in the barn that has to be one of my most favorite(and the part I'm going to ramble about the most) scenes in this episode. For one, it's when we learn just who Adar really is. He is indeed one of the first elves ever twisted into orcs by Morgoth, making him one of the oldest characters in this show. Galadriel calls them Moriandor, meaning "Sons of the Dark". So the orcs he leads and calls his Children may very well be his literal blood descendants. (I gotta admit, Im pretty proud of myself for getting that one right)Not only that but he apparently split Sauron's body open because he did not want to sacrifice any more of his children for Sauron's aspirations?! This is the kind of stuff that's got me so invested in this series. I don't care what you think about the show, you have to admit the writers killed it when it comes to exploring the nature of orcs.

But aside from the Adar reveal, the scene actually reminds me somewhat of the Athrabeth in that it's a philosophocal debate between two people and an exchange of beliefs. In this case, it's a debate about the origin of orcs, their nature and their place in the world. I find the whole thing extremely clever in that it addresses how Tolkien couldn't decide on the origins of the orcs. At first they were written as purely evil and created by Morgoth, only for Tolkien to realize that it wouldn't make any sense given his philosophy of "The Shadow can only mock it cannot make" and that only Iluvatar can create life. He went through multiple different possible origin stories for the orcs, from corrupted elves to corrupted men, but he never really decided or stated which one he preferred. Galadriel and Adar's debate on orcs and their place in the world is just such a clever way of acknowledging the many contradictory writings of Tolkien on many different matters.

Adar represents the side who believes(and the side that Tolkien seems to prefer)that the orcs are living beings, and thus creations of Iluvatar who are deserving of life and a home of their own. Adar seeks only to create a new home for his "children" where the orcs can live and thrive in. While his methods of bringing that reality about are certainly questionable, it's honestly quite a noble cause, and one anyone can sympathize with. I wouldn't exactly say he's a good person, but you can't deny the thing he is fighting for is pretty darn selfless compared to the things that Morgoth and Sauron fought for.

But in Galadriel we see something very different. We see perhaps the most hateful, cruel, vengeful and bloodthirsty part of her we've gotten so far in the series.

I think this scene shows better than any other just how far into darkness Galadriel has ventured. Just how badly she's allowed her obsession with hunting down Sauron to twist her. This Galadriel makes Adar look like a Saint in comparison. I found this on reddit made by someone who was reminded of a certain dark lord and you'll see what I mean:

Talk about cruel.

Like lady, if you seriously think you can say things like that and still think yourself the good guy, no matter how good you believe your cause to be, no wonder Gil Galad feared you would cause more harm than good. This lady's acting like a sadistic, genocidal maniac. And we can't help but nod our heads at the response Adar gives.

"It would seem I'm not the only Elf alive who has been transformed by darkness. Perhaps your search for Morgoth's successor should have ended in your own mirror."

Ouch.

Absolutely obliterated in just two sentences. Hit em' where it hurts, as they say.

And the worst part? It's all true.

Galadriel has become so blinded by revenge and hatred, she has fallen so far into the dark she's failed to recognize just who she's become. And Adar's mention of a mirror reminds me of ep 1, when in the ice fortress Galadriel finds herself looking at her own reflection in the ice, only to punch through it and find evil there.

She certainly seems to feel bad about it later, and perhaps it's this moment when Galadriel really begins her transformation from a bloodthirsty warrior to the wise sorceress we come to know from Fotr. And of course the crushing defeat at the very end may very well speed up that transformative process.

Speaking of the end-

That is all.

#Rings of Power #Udun #Tolkien #Mt Doom #Galadriel #Isildur #Elendil #Bronwyn #Arondir #Theo #Halbrand #Adar #This 90% me rambling about orcs #And 10% other stuff #I could talk for hours about the orcs #They have to be one of this show's biggest strengths #Keep it up Amazon

[shcmook]

Neverafter has been one of the craziest seasons of Dimension 20 on a lore level but there’s still a lot we don’t know about the true goals of the many villains or how they connect to each other. so I made this

LIST OF FORCES AND FACTIONS IN THE NEVERAFTER RANKED ON HOW LIKELY THEY ARE TO BE THE TRUE BIG BAD OF THE SEASON

(Updated through episode 8)

Mother Goose’s Book

While sucking people into the book at first appeared to be a thing that Timothy was unwittingly doing TO these people, I think it’s become clear that Tim is genuinely helping these people. Same with Scheherazade. I think the two of them are, pardon the pun, on the same page. And the rest of their two groups of adventurers are on the right trail to fixing the problems in their worlds. More or less.

The Big Bad Wolf

Listen I understand ranking him this early on the list may be controversial but like? If any of the villains of the original stories is as much a victim of the times of shadow as anyone else, it’s the Wolf. I do not think that a being representing Death and The End would be a true villain in this kind of world. That doesn’t make sense from what I understand of Brennan nor this world he seems to be building here. Plus like. We KEEP getting more and more hints of something bad happening to the wolf? And it’s not framed as a good thing? PLUS Ylfa’s storyline ending in her still rejecting, rather than accepting the part of herself that is the wolf doesn’t make much sense imo. All signs point to the Wolf being a positive, albeit hungry, force in this world.

The Spiders

Obviously they took up a combat episode but. Anything evil about Muffet has I think been dealt with at this point. Her and itsy bitsy are good guy creepy crawlies. No true evil here.

The Princesses

I’m pretty sure the princesses are also good guys. Cinderella definitely is. But they also seem to have their own goals and agenda that we don’t know much about? I’ll be MAD if they are all ultimately villains though.

Aesop

A little mean but he seems harmless. Mostly. Like the Fairies he seems to have a very specific way he thinks things SHOULD be, but his worldview seems very descriptive rather than prescriptive. He believes in morals very strongly because his world has informed that, not because he’s made it that way. But… enough of the similarities to some of the other villains are there that I felt I should rank him separate from the other storytellers. Like. Remember when his Lion just had blood dripping from his mouth as he said he didn’t know what he ate? Something’s fucked up with the realm of birds and beasts dude it’s not just me being wary of Lawful Good characters. Or maybe it is idk.

The Staff of Between the Lines

Its possible they may have unwittingly overseen some kind of revision to the narrative or held to some rules that have allowed corruption to take root. However I do believe that Key and Legend are good people doing their best to help, and the library itself seems to be a good thing in this world. (Or… outside of it?) At worst they’ve been somehow manipulated by darker forces to do evil in a way we do not yet understand.

Lord Bandlebridge

Member him? Imagine if plot twist he was the big bad the whole time lol. Shoeberg was always kind of a scummy place from what we’ve been told but seems ultimately unimportant to the big picture. Not a good guy. Probably not a villain we’ll see again.

The Fox and the Hare

Pib, while a little bastard, ultimately seems interested in upsetting established order in a way that benefits the small, poor, and kind people of the world. The other tricksters don’t seem to… get that? I think they play tricks for selfish reasons, and simply to cause chaos respectively. I think that’s why The Cat seems to be keeping the other two in check during the times of shadow. Because pure selfishness and chaos actually uplift the established order instead of subvert it now. They’re def not secretly the big bads or anything but I don’t think they’ll totally get what Pib is doing with Mother Goose. If they show up again there will be conflict I think.

Ogres, Witches, and Giants

We have yet to see any of these kinds of creatures but all three have been talked about and play roles in various characters’ backstories. I think, like Fairies and Princesses, they have their own goals for the world. But ultimately they’re probably also mostly victims of the narrative casting them as villains. Currently there’s no reason to think they’re anything more than symptoms of the Times of Shadow though. They’re not a real faction vying for control of the multiverse.

The Seven “good” Fairies and the one Wicked Fairy

We’ve only actually seen 3 fairies total. The Wicked one, the Godmother, and Turquina. We know there were 8 fairies at Rosamund’s birth (in the second timeline). Maybe there’s more fairies but if so, why are so many playing different roles in so many different stories? I don’t think this is a race of beings but rather a small group of incredibly powerful individuals who came together to bend the worlds of the Neverafter to their desires. And well. that’s bad, mmkay? They’re definitely not the good guys that most of them appear to be. But here’s the thing. They’re losing. They like the Happy Ever Afters. They like the smiles and the songs. They like the family friendly morals. And the times of shadow are fucking with all that. The fairies are definitely bad but I think they’re secondary antagonists to the rest of this list.

The Authors

I have three theories for the Authors.

they were meant to be implied lore, like The Bulb in ACOC. A thing that hangs over the story but ultimately exists outside of it. The implication that ACOC is inside a refrigerator is never directly acknowledged nor important to the plot. But in Neverafter, Ally rolled a nat 20 the one time that would result in us learning a fragment of this greater reality and Brennan went cosmic horror with it. If true, this theory means I’ve ranked these beings too far in this list, as they aren’t actually directly affecting the plot themselves. They write all stories and this is simply one of them.

The Authors are the true villains. Bad things happen to good people because that makes a good story and for good times to return, we must kill the Gods that wrought all suffering and create a new world on our own image, free of torment and pain. Or. Something. Idk killing beings that are essentially gods in this world seems a bit… JRPG? But maybe that’s where we’re going? If so I’ve not ranked these beings far enough in the list.

There is a near infinite number of these beings. But only seven have their eyes on this particular version of the Neverafter. Six have given their powers to our heroes. One has empowered all of their enemies. The fairies, tricksters, ganders and stepmothers alike. This one devil will never show his true face to the heroes, but instead, through these various factions, seeks to tear asunder the world of Stories the others have sewn together, and that the heroes seek to protect. The heroes won’t be able to fight a cosmic being, whose very words are gospel within this world. But empowered by these other Authors, they can defeat the parts of the narrative under his control. In this way these beings are not themselves the true villains, but rather like a force, without which no character has any agency. If this theory holds, then as a group they are ranked just right.

The Gander

The Gander and the Times of Shadow are one and the same thing. We’ve known this for a few episodes now. The bad times. The destruction of the narrative structure that dictates the rules of this very reality are coming undone. That is itself The Gander as I understand it. That said. I refuse to accept that the final boss will be a mean goose guy that grants wishes but at a price. That can’t be… it. Not in the Horror season. So as much as the Gander is cosmologically at the root of what’s going on, I think it is just a part of a more sinister whole.

The Stepmother

I wasn’t originally going to put her at the highest spot bc this seems too obvious but. she is currently the only person that really makes sense as an actual villain that can be fought AND is cosmically large and scary enough that she seems above everything else. There’s a lot of mean and scary things in the Neverafter but nothing so far is as mean and scary as the stepmother and the more we learn about her the harder it gets to really imagine that there’s something meaner or scarier than her waiting.

Prove me wrong, Brennan.

#neverafter spoilers #dimension 20 #neverafter #dropout #d20 #d20 neverafter #SHcMOOK

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

TIME TO LOVE ROUGE THE BAT

Ok here I am after ranting so much the unfairly treatment for my girl in the other post at last the moment to just list the reasons to love her and appreciate her has come! 🤗🥰

So as I said In the other posts Rouge has been represented as bitchy and cruel in some games and comics and definitely at least in my opinion that portrayal is completely inaccurate so... Well this is my point of view and my understanding of her character, i just hope people agree with me in general, as the second female Sonic character introduced in the games after Amy she deserves some recognition:

1. She is HILARIOUS 😂😂, like really i find her so funny because just like when I said Omega is a brat because he is always picking fights Rouge sometimes does the same too but specially with Knuckles and speaking of him... I really think Rouge is kinda similar to Sonic regarding sense of humor in the way they always mess with people... If they teamed up to tease knuckles our poor echidna would rip apart his own head 😂. I find funny too the way he speaks, her first appearance in SA2 didn't have a strong dub to be honest but in her second appearance in SH improved and you start to appreciate it better... She was such a brat in her interactions in that game 😁 but what i like the most is the sometimes outrageously exaggerated flirtatious accent she uses in games which plot isn't so serious and the way they give her on purpose special words and phrasing with double meaning 😏🤭. She seems to love jokes and pranks, well like Duh it comes with her sneaky nature though not all stealth characters have her perky personally like Spio and Whisper that are more serious but she? She is extremely naughty and I'm all for it.

2. She is actually extremely friendly, like... you can see in Sonic generations for example she was the only team Dark member who was at the party, in fact she is the only member that attended the victory parties at Sonic IDW because she is the sociable one lol and she is also very very very caring, really she is as caring as Amy and is really wholesome when she started being like that... It was like a lesson she learned thanks to Knuckles and Shadow actions in the SA2, the genuine sadness she expressed at the end of that game was really meaningful and often this caring side of her we only get to see it when she is with team Dark because those 2 specially shadow are the ones that put her in a emotional position

She really doesn't get enough credit for her caring side... Remember her sad worried face looking at Shadow in Sonic heroes because he might be a robot and not the original? Remember in Sonic 06 her outraged reaction when she found out what an unfairly future awaits for Shadow? Remember how sad she was at the end of SA2 asking Sonic if he really thought that Shadow was created to be a weapon for vengeance? Also the poorly animated Sonic X gifted us with this👇👇👇

The only single time we saw this stubborn girl cry and that time wasn't for Shadow but because of the fate of our sweet girl Cosmo. Honestly I'm fucking pissed she didn't show more emotions in the Zombot arc of IDW comics🙄🙄🙄 yeah she was upset about Shadow but it was too short! Other characters like... Almost everyone? Cream, Amy, Whisper, Spio, Vector all of them showed more feeling! See? She doesn't get enough screen time...

Look just how proud she looks of him, at least we got this moment.

And another thing, once she is a friend she is a loyal friend, i always liked this moment in Sonic x where she befriended a human named topaz, in this scene Topaz was going to get killed by their own coworkers because there was no time to rescue her but Rouge fucking brakes a gun pointed at her and ask for a minute to rescue her. (A lot of her actions where contradictory in the anime but this one i really loved it cause to me represents perfectly her caring protective nature)

3. Mature momma hen instincts: i know in general we see her being naughty and fooling around and there was a fancomic where she and knuckles had kids and he is the responsable one and looks like he is raising rouge along the kids... But actually as much as she misbehaves like a tricky joyful brat she is really responsable and mature, as the heart of team Dark she is basically the mom or the big sister and often she helps settling arguments between characters in general (unless she provokes the argument for a distraction or for fun but that's another situation)

Also I always prefer when she is the one that makes Shadow see reason unlike in other comics...(check my 2° post). It's also funny when she sighs like she is dealing with children 😂😂

Look how he looks at her 🤗 that's it Shadow listen to your big sis (funny saying that when you are 50 years older) though to be honest I admit this I'm not listening to anyone edge lord kind of Shadow... Yeah Ajjj but I think this time was SEGA'S fault...

Also this hilarious thing... Ironically Rouge is intimidated by a mom🤣🤣🤣 and runs away like a kid in trouble, she mentioned her own mom in various games if I remember correctly...

And she is also perfectly capable of showing respect.

4. Her Shy kind of tsundere nature (I'll be more specific in the Rouge relationship's future posts) , basically she has a cute pure Shy side that started right after Knuckles saved her from lava when she was so embarrassed she acted like a jerk to hide it , in fact she is only like that with him in general 😂 like when sonic tease them both about being a couple in some games but also look at this 👇👇

She is literally one of the only 3 characters in this drawing that are BLUSHING, and in her case she is not being squeezed against anybody in particular, can you imagine if knuckles was dragged in too next to her????🤯🤯🤯 I think she is shy about physical affection she doesn't control! But I love how much expressivity they gave her in her face is like she is holding back the fact that she likes the hug! This fits for her character perfectly! I wish she could have more moments like this i mean not necessarily with shadow or knuckles i think a friendship time with Amy would be good but like getting carried away and hug like best girlfriends like when Amy hugs cream.

Oh my Rouge is really lovely 😍 isn't her? I hope she appears in the next movie and I hope they make a good use of her good traits and do justice for her!!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic idw #sonic movie 2 #sonic the hedghog movie #amy rose #knuckles the echidna #rouge the bat #knouge #knuxouge #shadow the hedgehog #sonic prime #team dark #sonic frontiers

[hamliet]

Hey!

I saw your ask in the tag about loving qaf questions so here's one for you.

What are your thoughts on Justin/Ethan's relationship during britin's breakup era? I know that a lot of people don't like that time but I love it. Not so much watching Justin with Ethan lol but it makes an otp for me when they have a breakup era - all the sexual tension, angst and pining. Also I can't really take Justin/Ethan seriously because it's kinda cringe for me and tbh there's some scenes I haven't watched because of the second hand embarrassment 😅.

I think they kinda did Ethan dirty when they had him cheat on Justin the way that they did. It would've made more sense in my opinion to capitalise on the fact that Ethan was asking Justin to lie about who he was. That keeping it a secret especially after what Brian and Daphne said about it started to play and affect Justin's mind. This then would cause tension between them, arguments etc. So that when Ethan does go off to play his concert and cheat on Justin it would've made more sense than just cheating on him the first time he's away from him. They could've played with that narrative more and also made the intern/boss arc longer before reuniting britin.

P.S Please pet your cute dog for me he's adorable!

Hello! Thank you for the ask! I have petted the puppy. He says thank you. (Also, I'm realizing half the gifs I use for metas are made by you? You're amazing!)

My thoughts on Justin/Ethan's relationship is that it needed to happen for the story, for the themes, and for both Justin and Brian to develop as characters. So, I'm in the same boat as you! I kind of love what it does for the story even as I'm obviously not out here like, rooting for the relationship to succeed.

I liked that they had Ethan cheat on Justin, but I do agree with you that they could have done more with the "hide who you are" plotline to make it resonate more. (That's generally my complaint about QaF's weaker plotlines--not that they inherently don't work for the characters or story, but that more could have been--and in some cases needed to be--done). For Justin/Ethan as a plotline, it still works in my opinion even without the deeper dive, though it is less rich than it could have been. I definitely saw it coming because of what Ethan represented in the story: Justin at his very worst.

So why does this work so well as a symbolic (Ethan=shadow Justin) plotline? Well, each QaF season had Justin and Brian’s arcs acting as mirrors or parallels, because their arcs and relationship always embodied each season’s major theme. 

Season 2 had Brian going out of his way to hide his best self:

never telling Justin he visited him every night in the hospital;

pissing on Justin's drawing of himself as a superhero;

literally pushing Justin into other peoples' arms (the hustlers for his birthday even before Ethan).

Brian's self-hatred is at the core of his arc (thanks to his abusive parents). Hence, despite being a supposed hedonist who goes after what he wants, he doesn't go after love or belonging, because he doesn't feel as if he can have those. He stops at sex because he doesn't believe that love, if it exists, could be for him.

His self-hatred bubbles over and spills onto Justin: he spends season 2 in some ways trying to make Justin become more like him instead of more like Justin. Not manipulatively or with awareness, of course, but he does so anyways. Hence, it fits in an ironic sense that the first time Justin breaks the rules of their open relationship he does so by literally imitating Brian in their first sex scene, and when Justin cheats with Ethan, he tries to apologize using the same vague terms Brian earlier used. By trying to get rid of the art of himself as a superhero and pushing Justin into others' arms, Brian was also trying to deny one of the best parts of Justin--Justin's capacity to love wholly and unconditionally.

Loving Justin is part of Brian's healing--learning he can be loved and can love, and of course, loving the hurting inner child who was abused in his past. Hence, Season 3 forces Brian to accept the best parts of himself (hence why it climaxes with him literally sacrificing everything to save others, and Debbie telling him that he has innate goodness like every other person).

So why am I talking so much about Brian instead of Justin and Ethan? Because while Brian is going through this arc, Justin goes through a mirrored arc: facing the worst in himself. Throughout Justin and Brian's relationship, Justin was kind of the light (sunshine being his nickname). I've talked about Justin being a classic Jungian inner child before, and the danger here is that he could have been pigeonholed as a symbol of innocence. But, like all characters in QaF, he's human and human beings are much more complex than any kind of symbol or ideal. Thus, it made sense Justin fuck up to put them on more than an even plane.

Ethan was very similar to Justin: passionate about art, very romantic, very free to declare he loved someone. But he was also a liar, a cheater, and prone to fear (like wanting to pretend he was straight). Fear isn't an unsympathetic emotion, but it certainly doesn't lead to good things in QaF. Think about how many times Justin ran away from or avoided people who confronted him about--anything. There was:

Jennifer when she asks if he's gay;

Brian after the robbery during which Justin steals his credit card and waits for Brian to find him;

Daphne after they have sex;

Brian when he offers to help him with school.

This isn't to say Justin didn't have good reasons for being afraid or that Jennifer or Brian were entirely in the right in said moments (they certainly weren't). It's just to say that this is a flaw Justin has... but you can't run away from your worst self. You have to accept it if you ever want to grow up.

But yeah. Ethan was all of these things in a person, and Justin needed to experience all of these--and to find himself the one who needed to ask forgiveness. But he knows that he has worth even though he has flaws, which is why he tells Brian:

I know I've made some mistakes, but I think you'd be making an even worse one by not giving me another chance.

This also contrasts Brian’s philosophy, as is demonstrated in the same episode when he fires Justin by telling him “you fuck up, you’re gone.” No one can live or grow by those standards. Brian loving Justin despite his flaws helps show Brian that he can be loved despite his, and Justin meeting his worst self and coming out of it an even better and bolder person was so important to both their relationship and their respective character arcs.

Love means loving all of someone--their worst flaws, their best potential, and encouraging them to grow. It doesn't mean disguising flaws or hiding the best traits (Ethan telling Justin to hide their relationship while also calling Justin his "muse"). You can't love someone if you aren't honest with them about who you are, and accepting love from someone who doesn't know all of who you are isn't really love. That's why it's important Justin meet his worst and Brian meet his best, so that they can see both in each other and find an even deeper, more real love with one another.

I also liked Justin/Ethan in the sense that it emphasized QaF's perspective on love: love is a verb. Brian isn't the only one who went "on loving" Justin (as Justin himself says) after Justin left him. Justin went on loving Brian, as shown through him proving the nephew lied. In contrast, if you compare Justin and Ethan's relationship, it's all about emotions and grand ideals, no practical action. Justin is Ethan's "muse." Ethan wants him to pretend he's straight and his cousin. Justin being worried after seeing Ethan with another guy "just goes to show how much I love him," as Justin literally says to Daphne. There are no actions to back this up.

In contrast, during the internship arc, Brian literally tells Justin:

Oh, that is so like you! You don’t hear what you want, so you leave. Try standing up for yourself for a change? Have some balls!

Firstly, oh look, a callout to Justin’s tendency to run. But Justin’s response is an action, not more words: he kisses Brian. And Brian kisses him back. He can lie in words/run away himself in avoiding saying certain words, but he can’t lie in action. 

#ask hamliet #qaf meta #queer as folk #britin #justin taylor #ethan gold #brian kinney #qaf #queer as folk meta

[hollybell51]

Chapter One

A goodbye and a hello

A Heart Of Ice - Jack Frost x fem!Reader

Masterpost

Word count: 1093

Summary: after having made some evaluations, you decide that it is time to break away from a certain very important person in your life, and hence make a new friend.  

Notes: age limit is 15-16 (purely because of drug mentions and violence, more on this in the explanation section), and I just wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone under that reading this xx. It’ll still be here when you’re a little older, it won’t have changed or gone anywhere I promise. Please see the explanation sections, since I feel like this one does need a bit of a background and some justifications. 

Explanations: 

Basically (Y/N)/you/the reader etc. is/are a Cupid, so powers over love (including romantic, familial, platonic and all other types). I kinda wanted to take that idea and run with it a bit, so when I wrote this I was like “hey, what if this character had like a kind of split identity?” so that’s what I did, like two sides of a coin (not actually different identities, more like personas/alter egos I guess). I couldn’t really find someone in Greco-Roman mythology to represent hatred, so I chose chaos/strife -- Eris/Discordia. Obviously Cupid is the Roman form of Eros, but Eros-Eris and Cupid-Discordia didn’t sound how I wanted it to, so we have Cupid-Eris. Please don’t crucify me lmao 

Also, I mention “phasing” “jumping” and “disappearing and reappearing” a few times, which basically is how you/(Y/N) move/s, and I had it in my head as being like how Loki does in that Bifrost scene in the first Thor movie if that makes sense... anyways. Also I mention glowing or lighting up, which basically just happens when the whole power thing is being used or when you/her are/is happy... it all makes sense in my head but on paper (computer?) it’s much less coherent lol 

On a more serious note, I need to address the drug references and content warnings. Because (Y/N)/you is/are somewhat an unstable character (I wrote this when I was an unstable character tbh), I wanted to give a sort of vulnerability/weakness to reflect that and where she/you is/are in life in this and the struggles that are faced...? I’m not saying drugs are bad, and I’m not saying they’re good or cool or anything like that (people can do what they want tbh, I don’t really care). I guess you could probably rate this M, maybe MA15, and I know that Rise of the Guardians is a kid’s movie but it’s fanfiction, I do what I want. 

Ok, that’s enough from me, please enjoy!

~~~

“Ah,” Pitch sighed, taking up a place on the log next to you. “You should have come tonight, (Y/N). It was wonderful.”

“Yeah?” you asked, poking at the snowy ground between your feet. “Had fun terrorising villagers?”

“Well yes,” he frowned. “I thought you would have enjoyed it.”

“Mmm.” You tossed the stick aside, getting up and moving over to your small pile of possessions. You grabbed a small bag, tipping out some of the dried leaves inside and taking up a piece of paper. You rolled it into a joint, lit the end, and took a drag of the pungent herb inside.

The thing about Pitch was that it was great at first, when he found you. You were alone, you’d been alone for about 5 years, and then he was there. He showed you how to embrace the other side of yourself, the side that wasn’t just Cupid. But gradually it was less “Eris and the Boogeyman” and more “the Boogeyman”. Nobody noticed the chaos and strife you created, it just became a by-product of Pitch’s fear.

You’d made up your mind that afternoon, when the shadows had begun to lengthen and the sun started its descent towards the horizon, when people’s fear had permeated the air with its pungent tang and Pitch’s eyes had gleamed with anticipation. You had to leave. You wanted to leave. 

Now, Pitch watched you from across the small clearing, his expression unreadable.

“Want some?” you asked, holding it out.

“God no,” he said, “you know I hate that stuff.”

You shrugged. “I was just asking.”

He was silent for a moment, then said, “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“What do you mean?” You sat down again, blowing out a stream of smoke into the cold night air.

He laughed. “You’ve been avoiding me, (Y/N). I can tell, you’re nervous about something. You try to cover it up with that infernal herb, but that won’t work. So what is it?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do. You never come out with me anymore, why is that?” He tilted his head to the side, studying you carefully.

You took a deep breath, placing your joint to the side. “Maybe I’m sick of bringing hate and darkness wherever I go. Maybe I want a change.”

“What do you mean? How can you be sick of it? The power I—we hold, how can you want anything but that?”

“That’s just the thing,” you sighed. “It’s not my power, is it? It’s all yours, always you they run from. You don’t hear people screaming “run, it’s Eris!” do you? Nobody even knows I exist.”

“I know you exist.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore, Pitch. I’m tired of being Eris, I want to go back to…” you stood, turning away and picking up my cloak from the ground. You pulled it on, shoving your things haphazardly into your pockets.

“Back to Cupid? You were weak, (Y/N), I made you strong. What’s love compared with the chaos you bring, the destruction! You can’t leave, (Y/N), what about me? What about all… this?” He gestured to the distant village, where you could still hear indistinct chatter and see the fires burning outside. As if those feeble lights would ever keep Pitch at bay.

“I don’t need you to be strong, and I don’t want to be strong if it means I’m just going around wrecking things. You’ll find someone else,” you said tightly, “but I’m sure you can manage fine without me. Chaos, strife, hatred… they’re all things you’ll be able to create on your own.”

“(Y/N), listen to me—” he started, getting up to follow you.

“No, Pitch. I’m leaving, and you’ll be wise not to follow me. I’ve had enough.” You pulled your cloak more firmly around yourself, darting into the trees and towards the village.

“You’ll come back!” You heard him yell after you. “You need me, (Y/N)! You’re powerless without me, you’ll fade away until nothing is left of you and then you’ll come running back!”

You hurried on, your breath clouding the air. You could already feel his cloying darkness wearing off, and with a start you realised that you were physically lighter. You didn’t so much as walk, but flitted between trees like you used to, before you met him and had become the slinking shadow at his side. You breathed deeply, calming the butterflies in your stomach as you grew closer to the lights.

By the time you reached the village, you didn’t even need your cloak. You cast it off, grabbing the few possessions you really needed in your hand. You could always find more of the drug somewhere, you didn’t really need food, and you would be fine without any of the other things for a while. You only needed your bow, and your arrows. You held up the weapons, watching the dull black surfaces as they slowly faded to a kind of dark silver. They’d be back to how they used to be soon, when they brought love and happiness instead of chaos and hate.

You moved through the village silently, everyone around you completely unaware of your presence there. The people around were mostly adults, but you spotted a few children holding tight to their parents’ hands. A couple walked past, their arms tightly wrapped around each other. So much love, such new infatuation with each other you could practically taste it.

Something freezing cold passed over you, and for a moment you thought it was Pitch, then you realised it was just a child. They ran on, completely oblivious to the fact that they ran directly through you.

“Hello?” The shout caught you off guard. “Ma’am, hello? Can you hear me?”

You darted around the corner, following the voice of a boy. He was standing in the middle of the street, his image flickering as people passed right through him.

“Someone answer me!” he called, “Hello?” He looked around frantically, then froze, staring at you. “H-hello? Ma’am?” he waved hesitantly, approaching you. His bright blue eyes were wide, almost scared, under a fringe of palest silver hair. He didn’t look any older than about 16.

But that didn’t matter, what mattered was that he was looking directly at you, seeing you, talking to you. It had been far too long, you realised, since anyone but Pitch had acknowledged -- been able to acknowledge -- your existence. You could have screamed, could have jumped straight to this boy and hugged him right there. 

“Hi,” you said instead as he drew nearer. “Who are you?”

“You… you can see me? You can hear me?” He reached out a hand, gasping when you took it.

“And you can see me. Look at that,” you smiled as your fingers laced together. His skin was oddly cold, but soft, the bones of his hand delicate. “I can touch you too.”

“I’m… Jack. I’m Jack Frost.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Jack Frost, I’m (Y/N).”

Chapter Two

#jack frost #rise of the guardians #jack frost x reader #jack frost x yn #fanfiction #self insert fanfiction #fanfic #rise of the guardians fanfiction #Self Insert #multi chapter #work in progress #some angst #angst #angst with a happy ending #angst with a hopeful ending #angst with fluff #friends to lovers #friends to more #hurt/comfort #miscommunication #amnesia