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genericpuff · 6 months

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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.

I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.

Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!

Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.

But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?

Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.

The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.

The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.

Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.

I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.

As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.

But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.

And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.

If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.

It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".

So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.

Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.

But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.

Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.

We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.

Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?

#also ok i know this turned into a philosophical post but like #i'm still just talking about fucking anime #so please for the love of god i don't want to be seeing anyone using this post as a way to play devil's advocate on real actual war crimes #human conflict in and of itself is an enigmatic inevitability but blatant actions of genocide and colonization are not #and that was made VERY clear by the end of the series through eldians and marlayans putting aside their differences to take out eren #also ymir being in love with king fritz was a bit of a weird thing to do but that's for another post #i think it spoke more to her just being that desperate for connection that she fell into an abusive relationship #but idk it could have been executed better esp because a lot of the 'romance' in AoT is weird #still i really enjoyed the finale tbh and i don't think we're supposed to be left feeling strictly one way about it #the fact that we're arguing over whether or not the finale was good is literally just proving isayama right ngl LOL #attack on titan #attack on titan finale #attack on titan spoilers #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin finale #shingeki no kyojin spoilers #essay post #long post #tw genocide #tw war

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maevesheart · 11 months

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speak of the devil

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ she-devil (06)

PETER PARKER X FEM!READER

note: —

summary: you cant avoid peter much longer, especially after he gets jealous and shows you just how much he likes you.

WC: 3.1k

TW: i don’t want to give too much away, but there’s sexual content ;)

“y/n?”

your head snaps up, eyes meeting those of mr. kammadi, your physics teacher, who’s face looks rather angry.

“sorry, mr. kammadi,”

he huffs and turns back around, drawing more complex figures on the board.

it’s been a week since harry’s party, and a week since you told your dad you wouldn’t follow through with the internship.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

ONE WEEK AGO, GRIS-RISE

“daddy, i won’t do it anymore,” your arms are crossed across your chest, and your father is fuming in front of you.

“y/n/n, you had one fucking job!” he screams, and you flinch back, the echo of his booming voice bouncing off the walls of his office.

“please don’t yell,” you whispered, closing your eyes.

“i have never been more disappointed in you. i gave you one single task, one thing that could keep me up at the top, and you can’t even do it.” his words are venom, seeping into your skin and sticking there.

“i’m sorry, but i, i can’t fake it.”

“your mother would be incredibly disappointed in you. i don’t even understand how you’re her daughter.”

a tear slips down your cheek, and you turn around and rush out of his office, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

you were already disappointed in yourself, and then he had to bring your mother into it. he knew the mention of her would hurt you.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

PRESENT DAY, MIDTOWN HIGH SCHOOL

the sound of gym shoes squeaking is loud behind you, as you storm down the hallway, trying to get to anatomy as quickly as possible.

unfortunately for you, peter sits behind you in anatomy.

he’s hot on your trail, matching your pace and trying to muster up the courage to talk to you.

he heard you cry, and you admitted everything to him, or well, spiderman, so he was well aware of all your feelings.

you still had no clue that it was peter under that mask, who held you while you sobbed in the street.

you slip into your seat in anatomy, pulling at the collar of the white button down you’re wearing, suddenly feelings very choked as peter sits down behind you.

his eyes are trained on the back of your head, following the trail of your long, shining, bouncy y/h/c hair.

he remembered how it felt to wrap his hands around it and then….

“parker!” mrs grier’s voice snaps peter from his thoughts.

“uhm, yes, mrs g?”

“can you tell me what this is?” she points at the drawing of a woman’s vagina on the board, the whole class stifles a laugh, waiting for nerdy, clearly a virgin, peter parker to answer.

“um, that’s the hymen, ma’am.” his voice cracks as he speaks, red flushing his cheeks.

flash is quick to quip back, “how’d you figure that one out, penis parker? i’m sure-“

“oh shut up, flash!” you groan, peter’s mouth opening and eyes flashing to you. this is the first time you’ve acknowledged his existence since harry’s party.

“don’t worry, y/n/n, i can teach you all the inner workings of a-“

“flash thompson, that is quite enough,” mrs grier finally cuts in, turning the class attention back to the diagrams on the board.

15 minutes later, after she’s handed out the homework, mrs grier is sat at her desk, giving the class time to finish their assignments.

peter’s finger is light on your shoulder, and you quickly spin around, narrowed y/e/c eyes meeting his wide brown ones.

“i, uh, i want to talk to you,” he stammers, nervously tapping his pencil on the desk. his voice is quieter than a whisper, hoping no one is listening in on the conversation.

“no.” is all you answer back, spinning around in your chair and averting your attention back to the paper in front of you.

as much as you wanted to talk to him, you couldn’t. it was far too embarrassing for him to reject you once, and you definitely were not going to let it happen again.

the bell rang, and you rushed out of the classroom as quickly as possible. liz finally catches up to you, and stops you outside your locker.

“woah, y/n, didn’t realize we were joining the track team,” she lightly laughs, hoping to pull at least a smile from you.

your friends had noticed you had been more upset recently. the only one who knew about peter was harry, as you had left your phone at his house after peter left the party, and texts from peter came through before harry returned it to you.

harry didn’t believe it, so he confronted you himself.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

SIX DAYS AGO, STACY RESIDENCE

gwen had invited all of you over for reality tv night, something the four of you had been doing since freshman year.

harry had picked the real housewives of beverly hills, and lisa rinna’s voice reached your ears as you poured another diet coke for yourself in the kitchen.

harry was leaned against the counter next to you, your phone in his hand.

“i believe this belongs to you,” he smiled, your face relaxing as you took the phone from him.

“thanks, h. i left in such a rush i didn’t even remember to grab it. you’re a life saver.” he smiles, accepting all the compliments.

“oh please, you flatter me.” he prods your side, earning a giggle from you. harry was your best friend. you decided you owed it to him to spill about peter.

“harry, i have something-“

“i know about peter, y/n.”

your lips form an ‘o’ shape, and he raises an eyebrow.

“i saw your phone light up with texts from him after you left my house. i was confused, so i opened your phone,”

harry had put his face id in your phone years ago, and you knew this. you just were never dumb enough to give him the opportunity to use it, well, until last night.

“and i saw at least 15 texts from peter streaming in. it was all him apologizing. i was confused, so i scrolled up and found texts of you two talking. i didn’t realize how close you two were,” he doesn’t say it accusatory. and it’s not malicious. it’s actually, well, it’s almost worry laced in his words.

“harry, i need to tell someone. please, just listen.” you plead, and he nods, using his frame to block liz and gwen from view.

so you tell him, about the internship, your fathers request, the walk in the park, the small flirting, then the kiss. the terrible kiss. you tell him how you left his party sobbing, the first boy you had given yourself to since brad didn’t want you. you were crushed.

harry’s arms are quick to gather around you as a small tear falls from your eye. his hand is warm where he rubs your shoulder, and his other hand is cupping the back of your head, massaging your hair.

the two of you have always been close, a brother-sister bond. harry comes on all of your family vacations, the guest bedroom in your penthouse is practically his.

after his parents divorce your family had taken him as one of your own… your father and gregor loved him as a son, considering his own father cared little to none about him. damn norman osborn, as your father would say. norman, harry’s dad, owned oscorp; the top partner of gristech. oscorp supplied all the laboratory studies for gristech’s engineering and space technology programs.

so telling him about peter and watching as his face twisted from sympathy to anger was all the confirmation you needed to be done with peter parker.

“he’s a dick, y/n/n. i’m so sorry.” his long lanky arms surround your body, and you tuck your face into his chest.

he was a dick. and you wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

PRESENT DAY, MIDTOWN HIGH SCHOOL

you dropped your backpack to the floor and squeezed in next to liz on the bench across from harry and gwen, the three of them deep in conversation.

“hey girl,” liz smiled, pulling you into their meaningless conversation about their best hookups.

“mine was that random guy from the bar on 5th, 100%.” harry stated, like it was completely obvious.

“the one with pink hair?” you asked, raising your eyebrows as he frivolously nodded his head.

“mine was that luke dude on the football team. total worldie!” gwen giggled as she remembered the time she got with brad’s best friend over the summer.

“ew. football boys.” you shuddered. “well mine was georgie. sorry y/n/n,” liz laughs as your jaw drops. “you got with him?! since when!” you smile, prodding liz’s side.

“when we were like 14! i swear!” you all laugh before gwen’s face falls.

“uh, y/n…” her voice trails and you see her looking over your head, eyes wide and frantic.

“what?” you question, watching as harry bites his lip and looks down.

you turn around at the same time as liz, met with the chest of brad.

liz’s eyes narrow, and you swear you see steam coming out of her ears.

“what do you want?” you demand, crossing your arms. his lips turn into a smirk as your cheeks burn with anger.

“hey, angel eyes. long time no see,”

your lips turn into a snarl as he uses the familiar pet name that you used to adore.

people at the surrounding tables are staring, and you’re sure they can feel the disgust radiating off your body.

peter and ned are watching with intense concentration, peter’s super senses allowing him to hear as if he was sitting right next to you.

“don’t call me that.” you seethe, “you lost that right a long time ago, bradley.”

“ouch. the full name. that really hurts, y/n/n.” he says with mock sadness.

“what do you want, brad?” harry questions, his words sharp as knives.

georgie is sat with flash and kyle at the table behind you, where brad came from.

you give georgie a death stare, and he winces, knowing he will be getting yelled at once you two are at home.

“i wanna talk to you.” brads eyes meet yours, his black and mournful, just the way you remembered them.

your eyes soften when he stares into them, the familiar feeling of longing settling deep in your stomach.

“i don’t want to talk to you,” you break away from his eyes, instead staring at his shoes. you won’t let him have this control over you.

“just five minutes. please.” he pleads, his puppy dog eyes making it hard to resist.

liz’s hand is hard on your arm, refusing to let you stand up.

“maybe later,” you squeak, your mind betraying your heart.

no! y/n, what the fuck?!??!?! you internally curse yourself.

“definitely later.” he smiles and with a wink, he’s gone, sitting back down next to kyle.

georgie gives you a sad look, telling you he’s sorry. you shrug, grabbing your bag and rushing to the bathroom, the eyes of the entire grade on your back.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

you feel like throwing up. and crying. and screaming. why would you tell him maybe? that’s worse than yes!

you’re so busy with scolding yourself that you don’t hear the door to the locker room open.

you’re hiding out in the lacrosse locker room, knowing that no one will come for you here. but, you’re wrong.

little to your knowing, peter quietly trailed after you out of the cafeteria, his handy super stealth coming to his advantage.

he felt wrong following you into the girls locker room, but he had to know that you wouldn’t talk to brad.

when he enters, your staring into the mirror on the inside of your locker, calming yourself down.

“tell me you wont talk to him,” peter huffs, a sudden stream of courage surging through his veins.

you jump, not expecting him. “go away peter.” you rolls your eyes, slamming the locker closed and picking up your backpack off the ground.

peter is faster than you though, at your side and grabbing your hand before you can grab the bag.

“tell me.” it’s not a question. it’s a demand.

you’re in surprise really. you’ve never seen peter like this before, he was always so soft and gentle.

“i-i don’t understand, wha-“ you stutter, a light blush dotting your cheeks.

“i’m not letting you go until you swear you won’t talk to him later.” his eyes are dark, angry. you’ve never experienced angry peter.

“you’re not the boss of me.” you tilt your head up with a surge of confidence. peter cocks and eyebrow, finding your sudden conviction amusing. “y/n, i’m not leaving until i have verbal confirmation from you.” a smirk plays at the corner of his lips as you scowl. your hands are still snug in his. they fit perfect, something you don’t fail to notice.

this was a side to peter you’d never seen, and you had to admit, you kinda liked it. but then you reminded yourself that he left you all alone, and you hated him once again.

“let go of me peter. i don’t want to see you.” his smirk faltered, and his grip loosened just enough for you to pull your hands back and slam the door to your locker shut.

“what’s wrong?” he questions, though he already knows the answer. “why won’t you talk or even look at me?” his pleading eyes make your heart hurt, and you give in.

“you left me at harry’s,” your voice is small, eyes trained on your shoes.

“y/n, i swear, i didn’t want to leave,” he’s back at your side, his big hands cupping your face, forcing you to look at him.

“i have to go peter. i need to talk to brad.” you push him away, and quickly make your way to the exit.

peter is faster, and soon your pushed up against the lockers, his hands on either side of your face.

“no.” is all he answers, eyebrows narrowed.

“yes.” you speak back, chin up. your fighting back a smile, getting off on seeing him so worked up.

“now out of my way, parker,” you roll your eyes and duck under his arms, not getting far before he’s quickly guiding you backwards, and swiftly pushing you down onto the blue bench in the middle of the room.

“brad can’t kiss you like i can,” peter smirks, your mouth dropping into an “o” shape before his lips slam onto yours, a groan falls from your lips and into his mouth, he smirks, knowing he’s got you know.

his hands land on your hips, pulling you up off the bench, and then your suddenly straddling him, him sat on the bench this time.

his hands are hard on your hips, keeping you pressed down onto him. you can feel his excitement against the inside of your thigh, and pink dots your cheeks.

your hands are tangled in his hair, tugging the deep curls, earning tight squeezes on your hips from him.

a throaty groan leaves his mouth and enters yours as you push down further into his lap, your skirt gathering high up on your legs.

you’re the first to pull away, and peter’s lips attack your neck. “no hickeys,” you warn, earning a whine from the needy boy under you. “but whyyy? they’re fun,” he whispers, trailing kisses now down your collarbone. “none.” you demand, and he finally complied, attaching his hungry lips back to yours.

he was a shockingly good kisser, you never expected him to be as good as he was.

“you were right,” you sigh against his mouth, and he pulls away and cocks an eyebrow, “about what?” he smirks watching you roll your eyes.

“brad can’t kiss me like you can,” you giggle, watching as his eyes darken, his hands soon under your skirt, holding the skin of your ass in his hand.

“glad you finally came to your senses,” he says, toying with the band to your lacy thong.

“can i?” he whispers, eyes suddenly filled with gentleness, compared to his previous look of lust.

“yes,” you answer, watching as his long fingers slide the light pink thong down to your knees.

peter can smell your arousal, and it makes him harden even more in his suddenly very tight jeans.

jesus, is all he can think. he’s never been more turned on in his life. here you are, sitting so pretty and obedient about to do what ever he asks in the school locker rooms.

he couldn’t believe his luck.

he takes his thumb and lightly circles around your swollen clit, earning a whimper from your lips.

he watches with admiration as you slightly writhe above him, your hands tight on his broad, strong shoulders.

he picks up the pace, just wanting to watch you. “peter,” you say quietly, trying your hardest to keep your eyes open so you could look at him.

“yeah?” he halts his movements, and your eyelashes flutter at him. he can hear your heartbeat, going 100 beats a minute.

you’ve never looked more beautiful.

“we can’t do this here,” you shake your head, even though you wanted to continue, you knew school was not the place to do it.

he pouts, but he understands. “okay,” he smiles softly, pulling your thong back up your legs.

“can i come to your place later?” you ask, and now he knows he’s done for. “i’d like that,” he smirks, leaving one last hasty kiss to your lips before swiftly standing up and setting you down.

he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, giving you one last smile, and then he walks out of the room, leaving you to compose yourself.

“peter!” you call, causing him to halt his movements. “yeah?” he turns his head, met with a big smile across your lips.

“i promise i won’t talk to brad,” you giggle, and blow him a kiss while he playfully rolls his eyes and exits the room again.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

#imagine #angst #peter parker angst #peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x y/n #she devil series #maeve writes 🎀

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