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fangirlinglikeabus · 3 years

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blue sky (doctor who)

summary: something’s been worrying victoria. the doctor wants to talk about it. jamie is very bad at pretending he has a reason to leave them alone together. (gen, general audiences; warning for internalised homophobia but it’s hopefully not too heavy and it works itself out in the end)

you’ll just have to take my word for this that this is also on other sites because last time i posted with links it didn’t show up in the tags. i’ll reblog with them later

It was a beautiful day; hot but not too hot, with a clear blue sky framing the tops of the buildings. No threat of rain whatsoever, which had pleased the Doctor when he'd first peered, cautiously, out of the TARDIS, umbrella at the ready. 'England' and 'August' were two words that placed together didn't inspire him with much confidence as to the state of the weather, but today had thankfully proved him wrong. So far, the dry spell had held.

They'd parked the TARDIS a few streets away and wandered through the town, the three of them together - Jamie, Victoria, and the Doctor - until they'd arrived at the café. The Doctor had suggested they stop for some food - lunch, he'd said, although it was probably only about eleven o'clock, local time. Something was on his mind, some reason he had for wanting to sit there rather than continue walking, only it wasn't clear what it was. That concerned Victoria, but she tried to console herself; if it was really serious the Doctor would surely have told them already. Anyway, there were no monsters around that she could see, no aliens climbing out of the cracks in the pavement to attack them, to make this beautiful day miserable and fraught with danger, so for once maybe it wasn't anything to do with that, and they were safe.

Victoria tore her eyes away from the sights of the street - the girl about her age that she'd made eye contact with suddenly and alarmingly - to look at the Doctor. He was playing a game of patience, the cards placed haphazardly on the table in front of him. Every so often he looked up and cleared his throat loudly at Jamie, who kept leaning too far forwards, casting a shadow over the game. Each time Jamie would say 'eh?', realise what he was doing, and sit back in his seat with an embarrassed cough and a look which seemed to say, 'I'm only doing this because I want to, not because you told me to'.

It had a comforting familiarity to it, as did much of what the two of them got up to, like the friendly arguments about the Doctor's ability to fly the TARDIS, or the attempts to explain some technological development to Jamie which usually ended up with him saying 'oh, aye', his code for 'I still don't understand this, but I don't care enough to try'. The Doctor apparently hadn't managed to decipher it yet, since he still made the effort each time, and Victoria hadn't the heart to tell him.

Then again, maybe he knew, and it was just a game the two of them played, another steady part of their friendship. They'd known each other much longer than either of them had known Victoria, had rhythms and rules to their relationship, some of which she might not know about even now, and as a result of it seemed inseparable. She could barely imagine Jamie without the Doctor, or the Doctor without Jamie; they'd probably travel together for the rest of their lives, if they could.

Which just left her. Victoria.

It was easy to think she'd stay with them, with that funny little man and his Jacobite friend, in the light of the sun. They had taken her in when she was lost, and shown her kindness, and she loved them for that. But the trouble was that they weren't always in the light of the sun. They were in the London Underground, fleeing yeti - or in a future Britain in the grips of an ice age, escaping towering Martians.

Occasionally the Doctor would look up and meet her eyes, and she would glance away. There was something contemplative about his expression today, something in the way he regarded her that worried Victoria. Worried her because he seemed worried, on her behalf, and she hated the idea of concerning him unduly. Of course, it was nice to have someone care about you in that way, and she was grateful that it was the Doctor who cared for her, but it did make her feel self-conscious, especially because in this case there was really nothing to worry about. She'd talk to him about it if there was something, except for the ongoing problem of what she would do in the future, which for now she wouldn't bring up with him, because anyway she hadn't really decided what she intended to do with it or what her own feelings were yet. As he finished the card game (cheating, she was sure, backtracking on his own moves when he decided he didn't like them or when he realised he'd reached a dead end, but she didn't point it out) Victoria wracked her brains on what could possibly be bothering him about her. Her mind came up blank. Unless -

No, he couldn't possibly have noticed that. She'd hidden it from him very carefully. And if he had he would have brought it up already. Victoria was struck with a terrible vision of the Doctor looking horribly severe, all appearances of the fool or the father wiped from his face, ordering her out of the TARDIS.

She hadn't initiated it! That had been the girl - the girl they'd met a few stops ago, Liss. She'd been the one to take action, leaning in to kiss Victoria, who had fled before anything else could happen, hoping that no evidence of it appeared on her face. Maybe it had. Maybe it was a bit like that story the Doctor had referenced offhand once, about the man whose sins appeared on his face, in a portrait.

In the meantime, as her thoughts wandered down that path, the Doctor had begun to look panicked, patting down his pockets with increasing desperation.

"Oh my word!" he exclaimed finally. "I forgot to bring any money with me!" Casting around, his eyes fell on Jamie. He took on a placating tone. "Jamie, would you mind terribly if I asked you to go back to the TARDIS and fetch me something to pay the bill with?" He delivered the line very naturally, and Victoria wouldn't have suspected anything at all if Jamie hadn't then looked very deliberately between the two of them, said stiltedly, as though he was reading from a script,

"Oh, aye, I can do that,"

and moved off with the gait of someone who fully intended to take as long as humanly possible in carrying out the task he'd been set.

"Victoria," the Doctor began - almost as soon as Jamie was out of earshot, in case there was any doubt that it had been a deliberate plan between the two of them. She braced herself for the conversation to come. But then he stopped, apparently unsure of where to go from there. Victoria waited, her heart hammering away in her chest.

"Is there something on your mind?" the Doctor eventually settled on.

Victoria ran briefly through all the things that were on her mind. If she wanted to stay with Jamie and the Doctor; where she would go if she didn’t want to stay with Jamie and the Doctor; whether or not they'd be suddenly thrust into mortal peril in this nice English town; the kiss that she didn't want to think about and everything wrapped up in that; consequently, her father, who she had an uneasy feeling would have been disappointed in her, although she had no specific evidence for that because of course it would never have been something they'd have talked about together, not in a million years, not in 1866 or any date that followed in what should have been the ordinary course of her life.

"No, there's nothing," Victoria said. Nothing she could tell him, she meant. Although the Doctor was very old, and very strange, and seemed to know a lot of things that other people didn't, she couldn't imagine ever sitting down with him and explaining that a girl had kissed her, and because a girl had kissed her she was now unable to stop thinking about anything apart from whether she'd liked it, and whether she wanted to do it again, and whether she'd been like that all along or if it was some sort of disease, some sort of situation where once you'd fallen, you stayed fallen, like Adam and Eve taking a bite of the apple in the garden of Eden and being cast out forever.

She looked away from him. She didn't like to tell lies to the Doctor. In an ideal world she could have told him everything; they could always talk like they had near the very beginning, in the cybermen's tomb. But they couldn't, not with this.

Casting about for something to distract her attention, some excuse not to look at the Doctor, Victoria's eye fell on two girls walking on the other side of the street. They were making slow progress, ambling along as though they had nowhere better to be in the world and were taking joy from that. They were holding hands, swinging each other's arms back and forth while they walked.

As Victoria watched, one of them said something and the other laughed, leaning forwards for a kiss.

"Victoria?"

"Hm?" Her head jerked back towards the Doctor, as suddenly as if she'd been caught doing something criminal, not just letting her eye wander.

The Doctor didn't immediately pose the question he'd been meaning to put to her, but instead gazed after Victoria, at the two girls.

"A charming couple, aren't they?" he said, sounding pleased.

"Couple?"

"Oh yes, that sort of thing is quite normal by this period," the Doctor replied, cheerfully and entirely without artifice, as though he had no idea whatsoever how this was affecting her. "Not without some struggle, I might add, but your country sees the light in the end."

Victoria felt, suddenly, like she was about to cry. Which was silly - she hadn't even cried when her father had died, except a few times in her room, when the only people who might notice were the Doctor and Jamie if they happened to be in the vicinity, and definitely not in such a public place as this, where anyone might walk past and see her. And it was over such a small thing as well. She'd faced down monsters before, big scary hulking things, so why -

"Oh, Victoria," the Doctor said gently, fumbling in his pocket and pulling out, in turn, a pack of top trumps, tickets for Casablanca, a bag of sweets, and at last a clean white handkerchief, which he handed over to her.

That was the last straw - that small gesture, the ridiculousness of the contents of the Doctor's pockets, which now lay strewn across the table. Victoria began to sob. She buried her face in the handkerchief, hoping that no-one would hear, hoping that she would run out of tears and then she could stop feeling so miserable.

At last she recovered enough to speak. "I'm sorry," she said wretchedly. "I've ruined the nice day out you wanted for us all." But when she looked up at the Doctor he didn't seem annoyed. He smiled and reached across to pat her hand.

"That's quite alright, Victoria," he said. "It's more important to me to know that you're happy than anything else."

This threatened to make her well up again, but she composed herself. "You said - it was normal now."

"Hm?"

Victoria forced herself to go on. "Those two girls, I mean."

"Oh, yes." The Doctor was about to launch into an explanation of the history that had led up to the time period they were visiting, but he caught the expression on Victoria's face and thought better of it. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know."

She looked down at his hands; at the table; at the top trumps, a battered old set with a picture of a t-rex emblazoned on the first card and the whole thing clumsily kept together by a rubber band, which almost made her smile, it was such a Doctor-ish thing for him to carry around. "I know."

"Good." The Doctor paused, although whether to gather his own thoughts or wait for her to say something was unclear.

"There was a girl -" Victoria began, but fell silent.

The Doctor smiled encouragingly. "Go on."

"Never mind." She couldn't talk about it just yet. The Doctor had said it was fine, and she trusted him, but she was still walking on untested ground, unable to quite shake the sensation that she'd done something horrible.

The Doctor, after waiting for a few moments, said, "Naturally it will take some time for you to get used to."

"Yes," Victoria said. Her voice shook more than she wanted it to, and it came out much too quietly. She wished she could sound stronger - but then, she reminded herself, this wasn't some terrifying creature that she had to stand up to, but the Doctor, who was looking at her as a compassionate father might look at a daughter.

That brought with it another pang, and Victoria came very close to crying again.

The Doctor smiled at her, and pulled his chair closer. "Listen to me, Victoria. It will get easier. I know it might not seem like it now, but I promise you it will. Falling in love with another woman, and acting on that feeling, is no more inherently good or bad than if we were talking about the same situation with a man. It has just the same potential to bring you great happiness, if you'll let it. Do you understand me?"

Victoria nodded. She didn't yet trust herself to speak.

The Doctor smiled and patted her hand again. "Brave girl. Ah, and here's Jamie back with the money."

Victoria turned around. Sure enough, there he was, approaching the table cautiously.

"Is everything alright?" he asked once he was close enough, glancing uncertainly between the two of them.

"Oh, yes," the Doctor said, beaming, "I think everything's quite alright now, isn't it, Victoria?"

"Yes," she said, and even managed a smile of her own up at Jamie. She was surprised to realise that it was true, at least temporarily. For a moment even the worst of her worries seemed perfectly manageable in the face of the beautiful summer day. Everything was absolutely calm and normal. But then -

"Oh, Jamie, you picked up the wrong purse!"

"Well you didn't tell me what I was looking for! You just said fetch something you could pay the bill with, an' that had money in it, so -"

"But Jamie, these aren't even from the right planet!"

"An' just how was I supposed to know that? Next time you get it, an' don't go bothering me if you're going to complain -"

Well, she supposed that was normal too. Victoria started to laugh - laugh uncontrollably at the two of them, being so ridiculous over something that barely mattered. They stopped arguing with each other, shocked into indignation by her laughter.

"Now, really, Victoria, I do think that's quite unfair -" the Doctor began.

It was a beautiful day; hot but not too hot, with a clear blue sky framing the tops of the buildings.

Maybe things would work themselves out after all.

#classic who #doctor who #victoria waterfield #second doctor #two #jamie mccrimmon #writing fanfiction like a bus

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theasstour · 5 years

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WAYWARD TRAVELLERS.

PART 24 OF THE 25 DAYS OF SUMMER BY @always-jackedup the one where you and harry are on your way to a couple’s retreat at a friend’s cabin when you start fighting, and are forced to pull over when a massive thunderstorm prevents you from driving further.

A/N: i’ve had the honour of working with sarah for the second time on a project i find to be very important for the fic community on tumblr. her 25 days unify us all for a month, to tell 25 different tales, in 25 different ways, by 25 different writers. if you haven’t already checked all of them out, click that link above and you might just find your new fave writer! anyway, without further ado, here’s my contribution! hope you like make up sex enjoy, brothers!⚡⚡

MASTERLIST | ASKBOX | WORD COUNT: 10k NB: explicit language, fighting, sexual content

You and Harry had been an item for nearly four years now. It hadn’t been love at first sight, it hadn’t really been love at second sight either. Working at a café near his house in Hampstead, he had come in to get his breakfast every single morning when he was in home in London. While you made his breakfast for him, the two of you would always strike up a conversation, talking about what he had been up to and what type of classes you were taking that semester of uni. You had always liked his music, but for some reason, you always underestimated how well-known he actually was. He was just a customer you usually talked you as he came in to order when he was in town. But as time went on, the interest in the other increased. Suddenly, you were thinking about each other all the time, which was not ideal for you as he was always away and you were either working or busy with uni. One day, that changed.

Two years of him being the customer and you being the barista, he finally got the nerve to ask you out on a date. It was early in the morning, maybe around 6am when he was done with his morning run, so no one was working except you and one other barista. An old man sat by the window and your co-worker was getting stuff from the backroom, meaning the two of you were left alone. You remember the flush of his cheekbones as the question slipped from between his pink lips, the neon yellow hairband in his hair, the black glacier and white shorts. It was the clearest memory you had to date; it started the rest of your life; a life you were sure you’d share with Harry. But recently, you hadn’t been so sure.

It had been building up to this, you knew that. Ever since the end of tour last year, Harry had promised you he would spend most of his time off with you, seeing as his busy life all of 2017 and 2018 had prevented him from that. Together in your shared London house, the two of you would spend full months together, being the loved-up couple everyone knew you to be. Though you and Harry rarely were overly touchy in public, rather saving it for later when you were in private, your friends had always envied the relationship you had with Harry. It was an effortless, passionate connection the two of you had, which was hard to find and once you did, you didn’t let go. But for a long time now, that was all you had wanted to do; let go.

The promise Harry had made didn’t seem to be as important as he had let on. Instead of spending time with you – which he had rarely done since launching his solo path – he had done a lot of other stuff to benefit his career. Every single step of the way, you stood by his side, rooting for him and being the first person to give him a hug… The first person to give him a hug at the airport when he came back from wherever he had been, that was. He had flown to New York City a couple of times, Canada, Mexico, Italy, though you had been too busy with work, friends, and family to tag along, and each time he came back, he seemed a little more tense. Whenever he got tense, you did too, and when both were, it led to no good.

The shared house you owned in Hampstead was colder now than it had been with you first moved in together two years ago. Not only was autumn on the way, the late summer air of August slowly turning chiller with the arrival of the new season, but the mere atmosphere of the house was different. Something had happened between the two of you. Though you walked around not knowing what, deep down, you knew.

It was the lack of effort on Harry’s end. Ever since you graduated uni and got your new job, you hadn’t been as available as you had been whilst still in university. Though Harry kept telling you he didn’t mind you not tagging along on tour or come with him to New York City to join him at the Met Gala because you were busy adjusting to your new job, you knew he did. And though you kept telling Harry it was fine that he didn’t attend the Christmas party at your work or that he forgot to call you when you had planned to FaceTime at a specific time, it really was not fine at all.

He had been travelling a lot recently, busy with his career and other projects. Meanwhile, you had been busy with your own life back in London and everything that came with it. It was your mate’s idea for you and Harry to take a week off at his log cabin in the quiet hills of Exmoor National Park, right on the edge of Somerset and Devon. With stunning views of the sea and the next neighbour almost a kilometre away, it would be the perfect getaway. When you told him about everything and how little either of you were willing to make it better, he immediately thought of a plan.

“It’s going to be good for you,” he reasoned, raising his eyebrows as you discussed this over lunch at work. “Get away from the busy life in the big city and live on the countryside for a bit. It’s great for hikes as well, and since it’s summer you can even go for a swim in the sea. Though it’s very cold.”

You sighed, thinking about it. “I’ll have to check his schedule.”

“Can’t you just suggest a date and have him answer? It’ll be easier to just talk about it.” Your colleague gave you a smile. “I’ll give you the keys. You and Harry are going to Exmoor, you need this.”

He was right; you two did need this. Once you got home and aired the idea of you two going away to Exmoor together to spend some time alone, to get away for a bit, Harry glanced up at you from the food he was making. Eyebrows raised and a red apron over his joggers.

“For how long?” He had asked, voice a little darker than it usually was. You guessed he had acquired a cold you hadn’t noticed till now. Your heart stung at that.

“Maybe a week or so, depends on how much time you’ve got on your hands.”

Harry flipped something, running his tongue along the outside of his top row of teeth. His eyes left yours, nodding his head a few times while leaning his arm against the kitchen counter. “Let me check once I’m done with dinner.”

You felt yourself grip the doorway into the kitchen a little harder. For some reason, the fact that Harry looked away from you, aggravated you more than the conversation you were having. “I could call Jeff.”

“You don’t have his new number.” Harry retorted, moving his jaw as if he was chewing gum. He always chewed gum when he was stressed out, but he didn’t seem to have anything in his mouth.

“Alright.” You nodded, deciding that you could not do this anymore. “I’ll let you do it then.”

He didn’t show any signs of having heard her, though she knew he had.

“What’re you making?” You asked, trying to strike up a friendly conversation about nothing important in particular.

“Ribbony shrimp and pasta scampi.” Harry answered, still not glancing up at his girlfriend. He turned his back on you, fixing something on the counter behind him. The talk you tried to have with him dying just as fast as it had begun. Taking a deep breath, you cracked some of your knuckles before turning around, back to back. Telling yourself to not overreact, that you had no reason to overthink any of this, you walked up the stairs and into the bathroom. There you threw some water in your face so you wouldn’t see the tears running down your own cheeks.

It was all getting worse and worse, and you had no idea how the two of you had gotten to this point. You had fought before, tons of times in fact, but nothing even remotely as cold and for as long as this. Harry didn’t feel like your boyfriend anymore, didn’t feel like your best friend of four years, and your living partner. There was something different about him, something different about the two of you. Somewhere along the way, the two of you had started isolating yourselves for some reason. You knew the reason why you were mad at Harry, but you had no idea why he was furious with you. If you didn’t confront each other before the potential trip to Exmoor, then you would fight once you got there, and to be honest, at this point, you would take any sort of emotion you got out of Harry.

Harry got some days off, and the two of you started on your way to Exmoor the second to last Saturday morning of summer. He was driving and you were sitting in the passenger seat, answering a few e-mails and trying to get everything done before you arrived in Somerset. The sun that had been hanging over London most of the summer, wasn’t there today. She was covered by a thick layer of white and greying clouds, making the mood all the gloomier. Most of the drive was quiet, the radio playing relaxing tunes that made you occasionally doze off for a few minutes before you woke up again. There wasn’t much to look at when driving, though, and you ran out of things to count and signs to read. You felt Harry’s cold body language to your right the entire trip, not knowing why he sat there looking as emotionless as he did.

This was how he got when he was mad: he shut you out. Eventually he would break and tell you what was bothering him, but most of the time – okay, maybe all the time -, the problem wasn’t you. But this time around, you knew it was. Something about how far this had been taken told you that this had been building up for a little too long. That thought alone made your entire body ache. Though you were pissed at Harry for always being away and rarely prioritising his relationship with you, you were also getting mad at him being mad at you and not doing anything about it. Your fingers prickled with annoyance, brain going into a tornado about what would happen this week now that the goal was to spend all your time together.

It took everything in you not to shout at Harry to say something, to get it all on the table so you could start talking about stuff again. Though you were sitting in the same car, it felt like he was hundreds of miles away, distancing himself to the point of if killing the both of you and what you had. You were closing in on Exmoor National Park, the roads narrow and small. You knew that if you had been driving, you would never have been driving the car as fast as Harry was. You knew that once Harry sat down behind the wheel, he usually sped away as he wanted to get to his final destination as quickly as possible. This was always something you didn’t like, as speed would scare you, especially when you didn’t even know what was waiting for you further down the road you were driving on. You held onto the seat, clenching your jaw and instinctively pressing your right foot down as if you could press the breaks yourself.

The first drops of rain hit the car, and this was the first time you noticed just how dark the skies above you were. You had heard talk of a huge thunderstorm looming over Southern England this weekend, but you hadn’t actually thought you’d be affected by it. The rain picked up, and soon it was pouring worse than it had in what felt like years. Glancing down at the map on your phone to see where you were going, you tried to make out your surroundings as the rain just kept on getting worse and worse.

Harry didn’t slow down though. The weather was horrible, your heart was hammering wild with panic in your chest, and you had no chance of seeing where you were going. Taking a deep breath, you tried to lean forward and squint through the oncoming rain to make out a gravel road through the blur in front of you. You sighed.

“You don’t have to drive so fast,” you started, not registering the words leaving your lips till it was too late. “I can barely see anything.”

“Sorry,” he sighed right back at you. “Just trying to get us to that cabin so we don’t have to drive around in a thunderstorm.”

“We already are.” You stated, glancing down at your phone and then up again. “Here.” Pointing at the small gravel road a bit further down, Harry stepped down on the breaks.

This threw you forward a bit, taken aback by how harshly Harry seemed to be treating his Audi. Finally, he was slowing down, knowing that the rain and gravel did not do well together, it would undoubtably make for quite a crash if he drove too fast.

“Thanks.” You muttered, feeling everything going on right now really taking a toll on you.

Harry didn’t as much as raise an eyebrow when he asked, in a deep voice, “What?”

That was the start of it, you knew. The impassive behaviour he’d had going on for months was finally cracking. His voice always got deeper before a fight, like he was trying to hold back, and as the argument increased in heat, it would go up a pitch, something it tended to do when he was shouting. You two rarely shouted at each other though, but for some reason, you had a feeling that would be the case in just a few.

“Just don’t want us to die on our way to a couples retreat.” You explained, glancing down at your phone to see if you were there soon.

“You’re criticising my driving now?”

“I’m just saying you don’t have to step on the gas constantly.”

Harry huffed.

You looked over at him. “What?”

He shrugged. “Just don’t get why you always drive 10 under the speed limit, but you don’t see me complaining.”

“You are just now.”

“Maybe you should drive then, since you don’t drive as dangerous and fast as I do.”

“You shouldn’t be driving recklessly when it’s storming out!”

Just then, you heard the rumble of thunder in the distance. The rain got heavier and heavier, making it almost impossible to even make out the gravel road ahead. This made Harry really slow down. Lowering his window and sticking his head out to see further down the road, he drove over to a smaller road leading off the one they were now driving on. It was impossible to drive on in this weather, both of you seemed to agree on that at least. Though you were blocking the path out for those living in the house down this tiny road, you did not think they would mind as no one would be dumb about to venture out in this kind of weather.

Harry put the car in park, raised his window back up, and turned the radio off as you had stopped getting signal a while ago. The motor rumbled as you two just sat there in silence, listening to the thunder and lightening outside, the rain that seemed would go on forever. For the longest time, you expected Harry would be the first one to talk, but he didn’t say a word. Even now when you had just been arguing, he wasn’t willing to put in the effort. You guessed you had to do it yourself like you did most things for the two of you as a couple. Turning your body in his direction, you caught his eyes making their way to your frame ever so slowly. You wasted no time.

“This has been going on for too long.” You said, watching as Harry’s mouth drew into a stern line. “You keep treating me so badly and I treat you badly in return, we need to talk.”

“Guess you want to go first.” Though it sounded like a question, you knew it wasn’t.

“What does that mean?”

“Means you always want to start stuff and I’m assuming you want the first word now as well.”

You felt your back hit the passenger side door, stunned that Harry would say something like that. You huffed, sensing it was something that had annoyed him. “If you insist.” You said, taking the opportunity if Harry was going to be an arse about it just out of spite.

He raised his eyebrows, staring straight ahead.

“I’m starting to get fed up with how little effort you put into our relationship.”

This had Harry’s gaze land on you, eyes a little wider than they usually were.

“We’ve been together for four years, known each other for longer, and you’ve never cared less about me, our home, and what we have, than you have this last year. I understand that you have work and I respect you wanting to do the stuff you love, but don’t lose your home and the people that care about you in the process.”

Harry’s jaw clenched. “Ever thought that doing all of these Gucci campaigns and traveling is because when I’m ‘home’ you never are? I’m alone.”

“You’re not alone. When you’re home, I’m home.”

“But you’re not.” Harry took a deep breath. “You’re not. You’re at work or you’ve got plans with friends.”

“Are you getting mad at me having a social life?”

“Are you getting mad at me for having a successful career?”

Your mouth fell open. “You know I’d never be mad at you for that, I’m proud of you and what you’ve achieved.”

“Right.” Harry had the audacity to let out a sarcastic chuckle, running his index and thumb along his nose before he spoke again. “Right. You’re not mad.”

“I’m not mad at your success, you absolute dickhead!” You couldn’t help but shout now, it didn’t seem to take Harry by surprise, however. “I’m mad because it feels like I’m becoming less important than said success!”

Harry furrowed his brows. “Less important?”

“Yes! You always have appointments when I ask you to stay home or tag along to a work party or if you want to go out for a date!”

Harry turned to face you properly now, leaning his elbow against the back of the driver seat. “You never ask!”

“I do- I did.” You groan, running your hands through your hair. “I ask, but it’s become less frequent because you constantly reject me!”

“I’ve got work!”

“Well, so do I, but I always try to make time for you! For us!”

“I have a suggestion then,” Harry said, now pointing at her. “How about you don’t always ask me when it’s best for you, how about you ask me when I’m free instead?!”

You huffed, barely audible over the rain crashing against every outer surface of the car. “Are you taking the piss?”

“We need to compromise!” Harry was shouting even louder now. “You need to listen to me! You’re too busy with your new job, your new mates, and your new life in London to even think to make time for me unless it fits your timetable!”

“Oh, my God, Harry, you do realise we’ve always worked around your work schedule, yeah?!” You yelled right back. “Ever since we started dating when I was still in uni, I always had to come out when all your family and everyone else were! It was never a question of when was best for me! Guess I assumed you were okay with me making plans for you like you made plans for me!”

Harry ran a frustrated hand over his face. “Right, that was shitty of me, I’m sorry. I’m just fucking tired of never bloody seeing you anymore. It’s like ever since you made a new life for yourself, the life you have with me isn’t your top priority like it used to be.”

“Then how the fuck do you think I feel after all these years when you made work appointments first and informed me second?”

“I don’t need to bloody run my work schedule by you!”

“I’m not saying you need to! I’m telling you that it would be nice if you informed me before they were finalised!” You look out the window, the rain and thunder in the background seeming never-ending. “We’re a fucking team.”

“Then you need to start doing the same.”

“My work doesn’t make me travel, Harry, I’m always in London.” You looked back at him again. “Always waiting for you.”

He just stared at you for a little while, taking in your last words. “So the problem is me not being in London?”

“No, it’s you thinking your work is more important than mine!” You land a hand against your chest, feeling the terrified thumping of your heart. Thunder almost shook through the car, the heart of the storm was getting much closer. “That’s what started all of this!”

“I don’t fucking think that!”

“Why do I get that impression then?!”

“Don’t fucking know! Maybe because you used to sit around at home not doing anything until you got one, and now you’re busy! So busy in fact that you don’t have time for me any longer!”

You frowned. “I make time for you!”

“I’m constantly alone!” That tore through your soul, made your heart shatter. You felt the agony in the breaking of his voice. “I have friends and family and all that, but I don’t feel like I’ve got you anymore!”

This stopped you completely. You suddenly realised you were both leaning forward in your seats, having gotten closer and closer to shouting right in each other’s faces. Harry’s words hurt you. The fact that he had been feeling this way and that was the reason why he had been so passive aggressive these last few months, it tore at everything within you. It made you feel very bad. But at the same time-

“Then you know how I feel when you’re continually travelling.”

His eyes twitched, as if he didn’t think that would be the response.

“I’m always alone and I always miss you. It’s not like I don’t want to spend time with you when you’re home, but…”

“But what?” His words were harsh.

“You’ve been so cold these last few months that I really have not wanted to be home with you anyway!” It felt good to finally say it, but seeing Harry blink a few times, something he always did when he was shocked and hurt, broke your heart all over again. “If you had just fucking talked to me earlier about all of this, then we wouldn’t be here right now!”

“And if you had just been home, then maybe I would have had the chance to!”

“It’s not like I haven’t been home!”

“You’re telling me I should’ve talked about feeling lonely earlier, but it sounds like you’ve been feeling the same way for a while as well! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“I don’t know!”

Harry’s frown deepened. “I don’t believe that!”

“I don’t really care what you believe or not, it’s the truth! I don’t know why I didn’t bring it up, but I guess I should’ve-“

“-I was fucking terrified, okay?!” Harry shouted, jaw tense. “Terrified that if I did, you’d leave! Maybe because you love your work and you would think I was trying to make you quit, when that’s not the case! Maybe because you’re doing so well for yourself and telling you I’m feeling lonely, that I want you to spend more time with me, sounds selfish! Maybe because I feel like you’re slipping through my fingers and I don’t want to fucking lose you!”

You both stop. Thunder washes over you with the rain, getting more intense as the minutes went on. But right then, the only thing you cared about, was the fact that Harry had just admitted what had started everything. He was lonely, afraid to bring it up in case of misunderstanding, and afraid to lose you. It all made sense now. You felt bad for everything, like it had started for nothing, because you would never even consider leaving Harry for something like this. You had worked through things before, you would work through this, but it was the fact that none of you had been able to confront the other that led you to this moment. Swallowing thickly, you noticed Harry inhaling till he couldn’t no more. A look was exchanged, holding all the longing and scratched out words you both had accumulated over the last few weeks. Though you still felt hurt, it was starting to wither as you realised the cause of everything was the mortification of the two of you not being endgame.

The leaning into one another was mutual, slowly finding a way toward one another for the first time in what felt like years. A shaky break met your cupid bow, feeling hot against the tender skin of your lips. Your eyes fell to his lips, taking them in where they were just before your own, knowing the taste of feel of them by memory, but always eager to seek them out for reassurance and the flavour of eternity. Once you glanced up at him again, you found his eyes moving with yours, needing to look into yours for confirmation before he did anything. They were slightly hooded, an expression he always got when he wanted you. Seeing them again reminded you of all those other times, when he had looked at you like that while you were sitting on the sofa at home, or at a BBQ with friends, or when you were at the shops together, or any other normal scenario where he would just stare at you for a while, his desire for you intense. When your lips parted, a puff of air from you landing on his lips, Harry slid his tongue slightly and slowly over his bottom lip, wetting them as you watched him hungrily.

“Terrified of losing you.” Harry mumbled, voice dark and dripping with sincerity and lust. “Can’t lose you.”

You tilted your chin, stroking his nose lightly.

His jaw trembled a little before he finally leaned into you, kissing you hard. The wetness of his hair hit your forehead, a raindrop running down your temple and down to your jawline, where it fell to its destruction. Harry pressed his lips against yours, needing to feel you there with him, to feel the familiar shape, feel, taste of you to make everything better. It had been so long since you even shared a kiss, the fact that you were now made the butterflies in the pit of your stomach flutter alive again. You gripped onto his shoulders, steadying yourself a little as the kiss intensified. The emotions inside of you made you slightly dizzy, your brain shutting down the logical side of it that screamed at you to fix this before anything could happen. But the other part, that part that had longed for Harry and this, you decided to listen to that part. Because Harry kissing you like this again, feeling him there, wanting the same as you, it was everything.

He brought his hands up, cupping your face in his hands and holding you in place. It seemed he genuinely was terrified of you leaving, the slight tremble of his fingers and the frantic way his tongue and lips sought you out told you so. Outside, the rain didn’t seem to have an end to it. It poured onto the car, it sounded like a thousand determined footsteps against the car, like someone was running above you. And by the beating inside your chest and the thumping inside your ear, it seemed like your heart was doing the same thing. Running back to Harry’s. As your hands slid down his chest, under his beige cardigan, you felt his heart beating just as fast as yours. The thunderstorm outside matched the one going on between you inside the car.

He broke away, kissing the side of your mouth and swiftly kissing along your jaw. You closed your eyes, loving the soft nibbles and wet peck he left. Tilting your head, resting his thumb on your chin, it made for better access to your neck, which he used his time on. The show of affection seemed grander than anything he had done before, like he was both furious and sad at the same time. At the bottom of it all, was the need to please you, to show you that he was still so very deeply in love with you, and that nothing would ever change that. He was rough, kissing up he centre of your neck, the open-mouthed kisses letting you feel both his teeth and tongue. You let a breath of relief slip from between your parted lips, letting Harry guide your head so he could kiss his way all over you.

His lips hovered over yours once he reached them again, eyes fixed on them before he met yours. You were both panting, completely losing your breath over how much you suddenly needed one another. In the middle of an argument, not even with a solution yet, and neither had the will to stop any of this. Leaning forward to kiss him again, Harry retracted, preventing you from doing so. You glanced up at him again. The hunger in his eyes fought through any sense of right-doing, neither of you were yourselves it seemed. Longing mixed with erotic feelings and the heat of the argument all mixed together made it impossible to fight the urge to fuck each other senseless.

He let his hands slip from where they rested on your neck, slowly sliding down your front. Thumb laid a little extra pressure over your breasts, trying to get a reaction from you when he passed your nipples. The lips that had been resting centimetres apart were attach to each other again, the heavy breathing and frenzied hands heating up the moment. You felt his hands reach your thighs. Thank fuck you had decided to wear a white summer dress today, airy and easy to remove. His fingers fumbled for the hem of them, wanting to feel the bareness of your sensitive skin underneath his tips. As he slid it up your thighs, you felt the shake to his hands again, like he couldn’t quite believe this was happening, like he was afraid of fucking all of this up.

Once your dress was far enough up, he moved his right hand between your legs. You hummed into his mouth, gripping hard onto the back of his neck, opening your mouth wider for him. His middle and ring finger pressed their way between them, thumb, index and little finger resting at your thighs as he focused on feeling you out. He stroked gently over you, teasing you like you knew he liked to do. Laying next to no pressure on you and letting you beg for it yourself. However, you just kissed him harder, he would know how badly you were turned on then. He breathed harshly against you, biting onto your bottom lip for a few seconds before he kissed the side of your mouth, opening his eyes to look at you when he spoke.

“Feel that?” He asked, placing his ring finger on the hem of your knickers, the soft skin leading down to your centre. Ring finger laid right over your cunt. “Do you, baby?”

You moaned, trying to bring his lips back to yours. You nibbled at his jaw as he continued to speak.

“Feel how you pulsate for me?” The delicate force of his ring finger once he asked that question was heavenly. He put just enough weight on your knickers to feel between your folds, deliberately making his way up. “Want me to do anything about that? Huh?” He reached your clit, rubbing his ring finger slowly from side to side.

“Harry.” You gasped, gripping onto the hair at the back of his neck.

“Want me to bury my face between your pretty legs?” He watched as you closed your eyes at the small source of relief his finger brought. It completely took your breath away, the intense hold Harry had on you when it come to your body. He could make you feel so good that it quite literally felt like all the power and love the universe had to give, all came together between your cores when you shagged. It had quite honestly almost made you black out once. Yeah. It could be quite intense. So, when he asked that, knowing full well that you had gone a few months without any sort of orgasm, you prepared yourself for a similar situation. You welcomed it with open arms, though.

“Yes.” You answered, trying to kiss him again, but he moved away. You opened our eyes then, looking up at him looking at you.

“Backseat.” Harry said, grumbling almost, and it sent tons of shivers down your spine.

You didn’t hesitate. Climbing into the back of the car, you settled yourself into the seat behind Harry’s and he quickly followed suit. Pressing a button by the driver side seat, the set moved forward, a little too slowly for either of your tastes. You giggled a little, Harry whipping his head in your direction.

“What?”

He removed his hand from the button by the seat, all the while holding your glance. Vulnerability somewhere in his irises, mixing with the lust he felt for you. Before you got to ask him again, he sat down in the space behind the driver seat, right in front of you. It seemed urgent, like he could not wait another second, and he let his hands travel up your legs, hooking his fingers around your knickers. He slid them down, throwing them in the back of the car before he brought his attention back to you. Luckily for the both of you, the seats were tall, making the access to your cunt easier. Placing both of your thighs on either of his shoulders, he urged you to push your dress further up. You bit your lip, feeling your centre prickle with anticipation and desire. Everything inside you sang as you felt his breath against the inside your thigh, knowing what was coming next. About to ask him if he was sure this was what he wanted, that he didn’t just want to fuck, he dragged you closer towards the edge of the seat and attached his lips to you.

“Oh!” You instantly took a grip of the headrest behind you, needing something to grip onto as you felt Harry’s tongue on you.

He slid it wide from your hole and all the way up to your clit, where he paid a little extra attention and laid it flat, flicking it once. He did the same again, now teasing you a little by letting his tongue enter your hole ever so slightly before he ran it back up again, loving the tremble that went through your body as he reached and put soft force on your bud.

With that, you succumbed to pleasure. Lightening struck and thunder rumbled, but all you could focus on was Harry’s tongue and how his arms were twined around your thighs, holding you in place. All your time together, Harry had always enjoyed eating you out, and you had always loved it when he did it. He left no spot untouched by his slick tongue, always focused on the parts that he knew would make your back arch and your lips part to let go of a loud moan. There wasn’t a place in your shared house where he hadn’t asked you to do it. You on the kitchen counter while you were waiting for your dinner to be done, during a movie night, in the shower, in the basement when you were having a barbeque upstairs, on the balcony on a hot summer’s day. He was always eager to please, always eager to see how fast he could make you climax this time around.

You felt him tighten his grip on your thighs, tipping his head a little to the side as to gain better access to flick your clit. His wet hair laid against your thigh, cooling against the hotness of your body. As you let a whimper pass your lips, your let go of the headrest, instead gripping onto your breasts. Harry looked up at you, loving it when you did that. Though he would much rather they were exposed to the humid air inside the car, he didn’t want you to ruin your dress. However, he was also starting to give little to no fucks about anything but your orgasm. Whatever happened before then, he didn’t care for. So, he moved his head to the other side, not taking his eyes off you as he continued to run his tongue fast over your clit.

“Yes.” You moaned, not really an answer to anything, much rather an encouragement for Harry to keep doing what he was doing.

The bubble of pleasure you were familiar with started to really form, getting bigger and bigger with each stroke of Harry’s tongue. Your hand reached for the window, for some kind of support, while the other one buried itself in his lush curly hair. Letting your glance rest on the window for a second, you noticed the condensation from the inside, the raindrops running down the outside of the car as the storm continued to rage on. A line of sweat dotted your hairline, your palms were clammy, your centre was undoubtably hot with the oncoming orgasm. As you glanced down, the burning of the pleasure bubble inside your core intensified. Harry’s green eyes were on you, devouring you like he’d never done before.

As he sat there between your legs, your taste on his tongue and your hand in his hair, he came to realise just how much he had missed this. Missed being between your legs and having the best view the world had to offer, you climaxing on his tongue, trembling under him. There was something special about you when you came, something he had never experienced before with anyone else. He was sure it did enough for him to just watch you, hearing your soft purrs and words of encouragement, words of praise. He felt like a king when he was down here, making you feel as good as can be. He pursed his lips, sucking on your bud.

“Fuck.” You whispered, your other hand also coming to rest in his hair.

You kept tugging at him as he continued to suck on you, watching you as you grew more and more frantic. Movements rugged as you felt the climax closing in on you. He let your clit off with a pop, before licking over it hastily. He was holding onto your thighs tighter now, not letting you move as much as you wanted to. You needed to stay in one place, but you kept shifting, not knowing what to do with yourself as the climax tingled roughly in your abdomen, down your thighs, up to your ribcage. He wrapped his lips around your clit again, sucking on it. Now you went still, craning your neck, your lips parted. Harry hummed, sending delicious vibrations through you, and making you come.

You felt it in your entire body. Once the bubble burst, it felt like your entire body was on fire. It was heavenly, like feeling everything good on the planet at once. It lashed out to all your limbs and made your thighs shake; your heart thumping fast. You felt only Harry in those blissful seconds that followed; his tongue and lips and hands and hair. A world of him and you; a world where nothing but you two mattered. You were moaning uncontrollably, unable to control yourself as Harry kept licking you and sucking till you had calmed down. Your fingers beat with your heart, it was hard to catch your breath, like you had just been running a mile. One final long lick, and Harry removed his mouth from around you. Slowly, you let go of his hair, feeling your hands were wet from the rain that had hit him earlier. You closed your eyes, letting yourself come down from that mind-blowing orgasm. He really knew what he was doing when he went down on you, it always left you like this.

Humming, you felt your core pulsate along with your heart, a small smile fluttering over your lips while you sat there feeling content. When you opened your eyes again, Harry was still sitting between your legs, taking you in, eyes moving over your face like he was for the first time really valuing what was in front of him in a long time. He put your feet on either side of him, resting his hands on your thighs as he hunched, kissing you again. You brought him closer, letting your back hit the back of the seat so he could rest his knee between your parted thighs, your right leg between both of his. He leaned his hands on the seat on either side of your frame, preventing himself from colliding into you. It was just like before he had gone down on you, rough and urgent, like you needed more more more. You needed more of him and he needed more of you.

“Fuck me,” You begged, lightly digging your nails into his neck. “Please.”

Harry growled, kissing you harder. “Need to know something before I do that, baby.”

You opened your eyes as Harry did, panting in unison.

“Need to know you’re not leaving.” He said, swallowing thickly. “Need to know we’re not leaving this trip without seeing eye to eye.”

Your mouth opened, feeling at a loss for words for a little second.

“Please.” He said, taking a grip of your frame and laying you down in the seats.

“Harry…” You mumbled, hands to your chest as you glanced into his eyes, his right hand undoing the button and zipper of his trousers.

“Tell me.” He urged, lifting your dress before he pushed his trousers and boxers down. “I can’t-“ He stopped himself as he brought his cock out. “Can’t not know. We’re not having sex unless-“

“-I’m never leaving you, Harry.”

He seemed to stop breathing, staring down at you with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry I made you think I wanted to.” You licked your lips, shaking your head. “Don’t ever want you to leave me either. You’re my person.” He brought a hand up to his cheek, rubbing your thumb over it. “For life.”

His jaw trembled a bit again, and he looked down between you guys as he positioned himself between your legs. Easing into you, you bit your lip and arched your back, enjoying how full he made you feel.

“For life.” He repeated, moving out of you before he slammed back in.

You gasped, gripping his upper arms. With this, he fucked you hard. Skin on skin, deep into you, and hard against your hips. He groaned as the feeling of you all around him took over, something so familiar, yet something that had been alien for so long. He leaned down, kissing your neck like he had done earlier, but now he wasn’t being as nice. Biting you lightly, kissing you hard, nose often colliding with your jaw. It was clumsy, but rough, bodies slamming into one another to create orgasms that would shake up both of you. It was like you were getting all kinds of frustration out on one another; gripping each other cruelly, kissing each other like it was a punishment. Your leg rested against the seat while the other one was entwined with Harry’s leg, if you rested it atop his hip, it would likely only be extra weight for him, and he wouldn’t be able to go as roughly as he was now.

Harry took a grip of your hair, tilting your head in his direction. “Always liked it best when I fuck you hard, haven’t you?”

You moaned, digging your nails into his back. He held you like that, watching you draw closer and closer to the edge.

Fact was, you had. When Harry was rough with you, it felt like something else was born between the two of you. It was almost animalistic; gripping, groaning, clawing as the pleasure of it all became too much. You were always careful not to hurt the other one, but by this point you knew the limits, you knew the other person, so you never went where the other one didn’t want to. Especially make up sex was something you were good at. Getting all of your frustration out in one quick, hard shag felt better than anything. Not only were you okay afterward, but it felt good in the meantime. You were mad at the other one, but you were also falling deeper in love with them, getting a further understanding of both your relationship and the person you were sharing it with. Yes, you would talk everything through afterwards, but after a session like this, you calmed down. It made it easier to talk about everything.

Harry let go of the tight grip he had on your hair, rather holding onto it just barely. You felt the whole car move with you two, you were suddenly very happy no one would ever see this. The heart of the storm was upon you, the lightning striking hard, the thunder rumbling through the earth underneath you. All the while, the rain kept falling hard. But this didn’t stop you two. Harry watched you as you arched your back, as your moans got louder, as everything seemed to start to crumble around you.

As he fucked you, - felt you all over his body, felt his soul entwine with yours – he realised just how scared he had been of losing you. It was like knowing you would get bad new, but all the while hoping you wouldn’t receive them after all. A relief so immense it felt like it grew him wings took over, and he leaned his forehead against yours. He hadn’t received bad news though, because you had just told him you weren’t leaving him. After months of thinking you were trying to make him break up with you, he had finally heard what he needed to hear. He had never been as scared of anything but what his life would be like without you, because he was so completely and wholly in love with you. A life where the two of you weren’t together didn’t seem like a real one. He was mad at himself for not confronting you earlier, and mad at you for not doing the same.

“Harry,” you said, bringing him back to reality. “Look at me.”

“I am.”

“No,” you bit your lip as not to moan. “You’re distant. Look at me.”

He did, lips parted as he slowed his movements. You let go of our lips, purring as he rocked in and out of you in a steady and deep rhythm. Everything slowed down and you felt all his attention on you. The distant look in his eyes before, like he was thinking abut everything between heaven and earth, like he was far from being present, made you realise just how much you two needed to be. You hugged him to you, letting his body fall onto yours so that you were as close as could be. You moved with him, hooking your legs around him to bring him even deeper. While you two were close to climax, you didn’t take your eyes off of one another. Everything in Harry’s gaze and his body language told you he was there, fully and till the end.

“I’m looking,” he said, voice horse. “Always. I’ve always looked for you.”

His movements were sloppy now, though they did you in just as good as the phase before. You rested your hands at the back of his neck, tugging lightly at the hairs there as you knew he liked it when you did that. With everything, your lips brushed one another, your eyelashes something fluttering against each other.

“For life.” Harry repeated, kissing you once.

You couldn’t help your smile, but it was cut short as the second orgasm as brought on. Arching your back, holding on to Harry for dear life, you came. He kissed your neck, listening to your cries of pleasure and loving the way you kept on repeating his name. The flames that had rocked through your body earlier were intensified now, overwhelming you in the best way possible. Together, you came down from your orgasms, clinging to one another the whole time. You had never felt closer to him than you did in that minute. Grinding against one another, your little world inside the car, the rain pouring down outside. It was like nothing else existed besides the two of you, like the whole world had stopped being.

Harry moved away from you, looking into your eyes. He brushed some of your hair away from your face, eyes looking all over your face beneath him to tale it all in. You couldn’t help a little giggle.

“What?”

He shook his head a little. “Just…” he trailed off. “You’re unreal, is all.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Just unreal?”

“Isn’t that a good compliment?”

You smiled. “It could be interpreted in a million different ways.”

“Fine, you’re well fit.”

You laughed, bringing his face down to yours to kiss him again. You smiled into each other’s lips, feeling at ease and peace. Harry pulled out of you and, after having tucked himself in again, ran to the back of the car to get wet wipes and your knickers. After you cleaned yourself up and put your knickers on, the two of you settled down in the backseat to way the storm out. Harry leaned against the door, one arm draped along the back of the seats and the other one stroking you gently along the bridge of your nose and your forehead. You laid against his chest, hands resting on his thighs and your eyes shutting from time to time. Harry’s right leg was bent and resting against the seat, you had your hand on his knee, opening and closing your palm in a calming manner.

Harry reached for your other hand, removing his hand from where it was stroking you. Bringing it up to his lips, he kissed it slowly closing his eyes as he did. You smiled, bringing your entwined hands to rest in your lap.

“So,” you started, staring at the foggy window opposite you. “What do we do now?”

Harry sighed a little, clicking his tongue twice. “We compromise.”

You nodded. “But how?”

“We need to communicate and sacrifice.” Harry said. “One time I might drop some of my plans to tag along on yours, and you can do the same for me the next time around. Unless one of us actually can’t, like if you get a promotion, or I have an event to attend solo somewhere-“

“-Sounds like a good plan.” You said, squeezing his hand and knee to stop him from rambling. You knew he was a little nervous to be talking about this.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “We’ve gone a while without being open with one another. We need to realise we have a life outside our relationship, a life the other one not necessarily is a part of. It’s not healthy, having someone be part of everything you do. We’re a team, but we just need to support one another, not be completely immersed in everyone the other does.”

Harry nodded, resting his cheek against the top of your head. “Sorry I’ve been so jealous, I just want to spend time with you. Not used to you being busy, I guess. But I’m very glad that you are, I know that’s all you’ve wanted.”

You closed your eyes. “And I’m sorry I thought you stopped putting in effort, that’s not like you.”

“It’s not, no.”

“I was just so sad when you shut me out. Guess I was mad you didn’t spend time with me when you had time off.” You squeezed his knee before he started speaking. “I know you did, you spent loads of time with me once you got off tour last summer. We always spend Christmas together, and whenever you’re home you’re always by my side.” You sighed. “I’ll take most of the blame, though.”

Harry frowned. “Why?”

“Because I expected you to stay home with me when I’ve stopped doing the same for you.” You explained. “Work is important for the both of us, but we’re important as well.”

Harry nodded. “But it’s not all your fault. I got annoyed with you for getting a job, for not sitting at home waiting for me like you used to.”

You took his other hand, bringing them around your frame. Harry hugged you to him. “We need to balance.”

“Yeah,” Harry agreed. “Need to stop thinking the other one’s inside our head.”

“Exactly.”

“Because no matter how much we might think we’re one and the same, we’re really not.”

You giggled.

“I’m not inside your head, you’re not inside mine.”

“Nope,” you tucked your arms tighter around you, Harry squeezed you for a few seconds, kissing the top of your head. “And good thing.”

Harry smiled. “What would I find inside your head?”

You gasped. “You don’t know what you would’ve found inside my head? I thought we were in a relationship!”

Harry laughed, thumb stroking long your jawline and resting his head against the fogged-up window behind him. “A pest, you are.”

You smiled, closing your eyes as you felt yourself wanting to drift off. “Inside my head,” you started. “You’d find a whole lot of Friends references, chocolate, bubbly, and,” your smile broadened. “Your bum.”

“Oi!”

“When you wake up in the morning and walk to the bathroom, the way it jiggles-“

“-Feeling a wee bit objectified!”

“I appreciate the way your arse jiggles!”

Harry grinned. “Okay, fine.” He closed his eyes, too. Leaned his head against yours. “I guess I appreciate the way yours jiggle as well.”

You grinned. “Good, I did squats for this bum.”

“And I appreciate that very much.”

You glanced up at him then, finding him with his eyes shut. You closed yours as well.

“I love you.” Harry whispered under his breath right before he drifted off. “For life.”

The old man living on the farm woke up around 5 every morning, this one was no different. The storm the night prior had been violent, making it impossible to do his last chores for the day, so he would have to work a little extra today. He didn’t mind though, because the turbulence the thunderstorm had brought could not match to the early morning sun rising above the green horizon. The sky was pink at the edge, a light layer of fog drifting over the fields around the farm, making the usually peaceful moors seem even more so. The harmonious state the world seemed to be in after a storm matched no other, like everything was calming down to start fresh.

The old man was going about his chores, doing what he usually did every morning. However, he noticed something strange. As he drove up the road leading to the main one, a black Audi stood parked there. Thinking the worst, he quickly got out of his tractor and walked over to the car. It didn’t seem to have been an accident of any kind, the car seemed fine. Sauntering over, he found that the bottom half of the windows were fogged-up, and at the very top, he could just make out the inside.

A man held the sleeping form of a woman. They were holding each other’s hands, arms wrapped around each other. Her head was resting against his chest and his cheek to her head. They both seemed to be completely and utterly at peace considering how tempestuous the evening before was. Considering how tightly they held onto one another, he was assuming they meant a lot to one another. The kind of a lot that couldn’t be properly described in words.

He smiled a little to himself, glad that they found a place to wait out the storm, glad that he could be of a little help.

But he needed to pass, he had things to do and animals that needed tending to. He knocked on the window, startling the man who had been fast asleep. Upon seeing the old man, the one inside the car blinked a few times to get all of his sleep out of his eyes. He gently shook the woman, whispering something to her before she opened her eyes, too. She saw the old man and slowly sat up in her seat. The man opened the door on the other side of the car, letting the woman step out with him.

“Sorry, sir.” He said, walking around the car and to him. “Didn’t mean to block your path, we just didn’t want to drive when it was storming out last night.”

The old man shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “No need to apologise, I’m happy you stopped. Could’ve crashed your fancy car if you hadn’t.”

The younger man let out a small chuckle. “Yeah, I had something more valuable inside I needed to look out for.”

Smiling, the old man nodded knowingly. “Those are the most important things in life, aren’t they? What’s inside the fancy car?”

The younger one smiled back. “Really is.”

“I won’t keep you. Just need to get my tractor out on the road, have a few errands I need to run and all that.”

“Of course, I’m sorry we delayed you.” The younger man took the few steps towards the driver side. “Sorry again.”

“No need to be, good of you lot to stop. The responsible thing to do.”

He sat inside the car, smiling. “Thank you.”

“Take care of the valuables inside the car, you.” The older man said, waving as the car door shut.

The last thing he saw was the man turning the ignition, and then looking over at the woman, who smiled at him. Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips for a brief second before he slowly drove away. He didn’t drive particularly fast, the older man noted, which was well as by doing so he would risk a lot of things. Smiling one last time, he turned around, entered his tractor, and drove in the opposite direction of the pair in love.

25 DAYS OF SUMMER | MASTERLIST | COME TALK TO ME!

PLS DO LIKE/REBLOG IF YOU ENJOYED OR COME FREAK WITH ME!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #HIIIIIII PLS DO COME TALK ABOUT YOUR FAVE PARTS OR WHATEVER YOU WANNA ILYSM HOPE YOU ENJOYED

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laurent--stpierre · 5 years

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THIS WILL END IN TEARS [2 / 4]

All right, so this is the start of a series of self paras that all tie into each other. They’re not being posted in chronological order, so make sure to take note of the dates they happened. The information in this self para will spread through the Organization quickly. Enjoy being able to react to it, and be a little bit smug to Johnathan.

Date: August 6th, 2019. Warnings: Typical mob fare. It’s really long tho, so apologies.

“I’m going to level with you, I was looking to make this a bit more dramatic…”

The piece of shit hunched over in front of him didn’t respond.

“It’s not that I don’t care enough about you to put the effort in. It just turns out we picked the one sprawling estate without a fucking basement. Can you believe it?”

As the Frenchman took an exaggerated drag on his cigarette, he glanced around the room for a minute. It really was a world away from the basement he’d been forced to endure; decked out from floor to ceiling in palatial gold that could’ve only been by request of Aurélie. This prick must have thought himself so lucky to have ended up here. It didn’t matter to Laurent, though. Whilst this place mightn’t have had the same looming reputation the Russian torture chamber did, the former Commandant was more than content to make up for its shortcomings with his own hands.

When the man he addressed still didn’t respond, he could feel himself losing patience.

It was no fun if they didn’t play along.

“Come on, now. Did nobody ever tell you it’s rude to ignore your host?” Laurent asked, finally resorting to kicking at the leg of his captive’s chair as he blew smoke in his direction. “If you’re pretending to be unconscious so you don’t have to talk to me, I’m going to be offended.”

“You French cunts really do love the sound of your own voices, don’t you?”

As the man sighed, he appeared to deflate along with it.

“That’s more like it,” Laurent greeted, loudly enough that it visibly startled the Brit. As the Frenchman clapped his hands together in mock jubilation, the man finally looked up at his tormentor through his swollen eyes with a glare so evil, if looks could kill, Laurent would’ve been dead on the floor in a heartbeat. “I personally love the sound of my own voice, but don’t you go stereotyping us all, now. That’s racist.”

“What the fuck do you want, Laurent?”

It seemed an odd question to ask, under the circumstances. Did he even want to know?

“I just want a nice, friendly, productive conversation. How does that sound?”

Plucking this man off the streets had taken more planning than he cared to admit, but the boss had been adamant that this time, the biggest thorn in their side would pay the price for his sins. What happened with Théo had hit them all hard; they were, after all, an organization so used to absolute power that to be limited in this new city was a difficult situation for them to stomach. Whilst they hadn’t been able to intervene when it came to influencing the Met Police, however, they still had just enough eyes inside to know that a certain somebody had paid Théo a visit.

Laurent was sure that he hadn’t seen fire like that in her eyes since Versailles.

It was no secret that Westminster’s Commandant and Aurélie were close. Laurent reasoned that it was the only reason he’d gotten as far as he had in the first place. But for this to be the reason she finally snapped? For Johnathan’s unannounced visit whilst her friend was unattended to be the thing that pushed her over the edge? Unless there was something she wasn’t sharing—and as his short time as head of London, he’d already learned it was better not to ask—he was baffled by the escalation.

That didn’t mean they weren’t all happy to be finally making some moves, however.

Aurélie had been vague but absolute in her orders: Johnathan Parsons was to be reminded that despite what his ego might’ve told him, his actions did have consequences.

Johnathan Parsons was to suffer for all the times he had not suffered before.

The easiest way to get to the brute of a man would’ve been his child, and anybody who’d said the thought hadn’t immediately crossed their mind was a liar. No, they weren’t the Russians, and they tried to keep family off limits as best they could, but this was Parsons. Extreme measures were necessary. Of course, given that she was just about to bring a third into the world, and despite the fact she didn’t doubt they would stoop as low when it came to her, Aurélie had vehemently prohibited any violence against his daughter.

It’d taken slightly more grovelling on his part to spare Jessica Reyes what would’ve no doubt been a painful end. Aurélie hadn’t seemed pleased about that—she’d followed it up with a comment that made him wonder just how closely she was keeping an eye on him—but he had been insistent enough that eventually she’d got bored of arguing. Laurent didn’t regret it; partly because she reminded him of Claudia, but mostly because Johnathan reminded him of himself. The situation was not her fault, and she didn’t deserve to suffer for it.

Eventually, they had settled on the closest person that remained.

“And what exactly do you want to talk about?”

Laurent snorted. Where should they begin?

“I want to talk about everything, Jai. I want to talk about your boss. I want to talk about why one of my people was attacked by the Russians. I want to talk about Théodore Chaussard being behind bars. I want to talk about your business in Tower Hamlets. I want to talk about you slipping me Lara Rutherford’s number to make this go a little easier for you.”

It was his turn to scoff this time.

“No.”

For someone who was such a raging piece of shit, it was almost hard to believe that Johnathan could have any real friends at all. When it had become apparent back in Porto Velho that Jai Dalal was not only his right hand man, but also his most trusted confidant, however, the target on his back grew exponentially with every antagonistic move his best friend made. Jessica and Sarah might not have been ideal candidates, but a man who had committed just as many himself—or been passive to those his boss had in the meantime—was just as deserving of the pain as Parsons was.

“To which part? Don’t say Lara…”

“What the fuck was St. Clair thinking when she sent you here, huh? Her way of saying London is just a joke to the French, by any chance? How does someone like you make it to head of the city?”

If Laurent hadn’t already spent months asking himself those same questions to the point of absolute insensitivity, he might’ve taken the comment to heart. Instead:

“Fucked my way to the top.”

“I—” Jai started, but instead ejected yet another hefty sigh.

“Let me guess, you did the same thing? Johnny boy looks like the type…”

“So you don’t do basements. What, you and your dumb fucking comments like Chinese water torture are the new way of trying to break people?”

“I can send Varden back in, if you’d prefer?”

There was real beauty in seeing fear flash behind eyes that were trying so hard to hide it.

Jai said nothing.

“How about we bring someone else into the mix, instead? Maybe if there’s another person here for you to converse with, I won’t annoy you so much.”

It didn’t take long to tap out a message to his friends in the adjoining room.

“See, you’re the headliner, Jai, but we managed to pick ourselves up a little bonus prize whilst we were out scouting tonight.”

A few silent moments passed in which Laurent contemplated lightning another cigarette, before his action was interrupted by the sound of the dining room door swinging open. Two of his men flanked the hooded figure of a woman; it seemed an excessive entourage, given that she appeared far too injured to even think about fighting back. There was no struggle as they dragged her over, and dumped her square at Laurent’s feet.

It only took a quick once over to realise that the arm she was cradling had been so badly broken, it was visible through the skin. The silent weeping became more obvious as Sylvain and Jean walked away again, as did the realisation that they hadn’t restrained her because they didn’t need to.

“Don’t worry, it isn’t anybody you know,” Laurent assured, like he gave a solitary fuck, leaning forward to take a careful handful of the hood. “This is Ivanna.”

Laurent didn’t know why, but he hadn’t expected her to look worse than Jai did.

He was wrong.

It was a shame it’d come to this, really, because he’d seen her just before Varden and Daniel had been let loose. The woman had beautiful brown eyes, and features so feminine and delicate that it seemed impossible she was a fucking Russian. If she’d been walking down the street, with those same killer legs that were now twisted beneath her in an uncomfortable heap, she would’ve turned his head in a heartbeat. But now? Laurent didn’t doubt that it would take extensive amounts of surgery to give her back any semblance of…well, anything human in definition.

There was so much blood.

Aviv Kasyanenko sure could pick them.

The corner of his mouth turned upward slightly as he glanced down at her hands. The left ring finger was missing as a special fuck you from Daniel, no doubt.

“It’s okay,” Laurent said in a hushed whisper, as though comforting a child, reaching forward slightly to brush against her hair. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise.”

It didn’t surprise him that nothing more than a strangled sob followed.

“You’re here because I want to talk to you, okay? Nothing else. The more you can help me out here, the less likely it is I send you back to them. I really don’t want to do that, Ivanna, but I’m going to need your help.” Sighing out through his nose, Laurent looked down at the dumb fucking bitch. It was a sight so pathetic he was finding it remarkably difficult not to visually cringe. Might’ve made that feigned sympathy a little less convincing, though… “How about we get you up off that floor and into a chair, huh? You can sit in my seat.”

Luckily enough, Jai had either slipped back into unconsciousness, or had just learned how to behave, because the idiot didn’t speak a word as the Frenchman slowly hoisted the pretzel into the chair. It seemed impossible, but she almost looked more uncomfortable now she was seated. Maybe he’d find a second to feel bad about it later. Until then, and now that he was without his own chair, he slowly crouched so that he was face to face with her.

“Is that better?”

Even though he knew it wasn’t, it seemed as though she’d nodded because she was scared not to.

“Thank you…”

“Did you hear that, Jai?” Laurent gasped, turning his head quickly to glance at the Indian. “That’s what it sounds like to have manners. You could learn a lot from the Russian, here.”

Silence.

Prick.

“Unfortunately, he’s not too chatty, Ivanna, but he’s going to help us with this conversation we’re going to have, is that all right?”

The brunette nodded stiffly, and his warm smile seemed to have comforted her somewhat, because for the first time since she’d entered the room, she finally looked up at him. Laurent immediately wished she hadn’t. They were as badly damaged as the rest of her. As his own gaze travelled down to the hands she cradled in her lap, he slowly took a hold of the one which wasn’t missing a finger or attached to a compound fracture. It felt like ice. As he brushed his thumb across her knuckles, he couldn’t help but wonder whether or not he still had that bottle of hand sanitizer tucked away in his jacket pocket…

“The first thing I need to ask you is when did you get here? When did you come to London?”

The interrogation proved to be an arduous process. Most of her answers were quiet, stuttered, or forced through the sound of what could’ve easily been her choking on her own blood. Jai seemed to have no understanding as to why he was present, and that amused Laurent even more than the bitch before him who genuinely believed that he was going to help her if she was honest. The Frenchman alternated between holding her hand and gently stroking her hair as she answered the basic questions about the Russians, where they were set up, whether she’d come with Aviv, and who else had followed her out to the city.

Ivanna bared all because she was scared.

Because she was not a mobster, and because she just wanted the pain to stop.

Laurent didn’t feel bad for her when she started to cry. All he could think about was how much Claudia must’ve been hurting when the Russians had done the same thing to her.

It wasn’t until he finally got to the most important question of all that Jai would learn why the Frenchman hadn’t conducted this discussion in another room.

“Why did the Russians come to London, Ivanna? Did Aviv tell you?”

When her eyebrows pulled into a confused frown, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the Russians could’ve headed to any city they liked. Why pick London?”

There were other things he’d wanted to ask; perhaps, he could’ve even phrased that more subtly. Unfortunately, it seemed as though her strength was fading by the minute, and as her head lolled back uncomfortably—like a child trying to fight sleep—he quickly moved his hand up to help her. The tears had started to well again. It was almost as though she knew that her answer would condemn her family, even though he was sure she didn’t realise quite how much.

“It’s all right,” he whispered, bringing her head to rest against his shoulder. Blood on his Hugo motherfucking Boss. Unreal. “This is the last thing I need to know, and then you can go, all right?”

“It was what they agreed.”

“What who agreed?”

Laurent spared a glance at Jai.

The man was a professional. There was no way on God’s green Earth the French would’ve been able to get the answers out of him, no matter how long he was left alone with Laurent. What seemed unlikely, however, was that he would be able to stop himself from reacting to somebody weaker spilling everything right in front of him. Ivanna might not have been the most reliable source in the world, but if he could get the back up of a reaction from Jai, then her words would surely hold more weight than that of a woman trying to save her own life.

Not that she seemed intelligent enough to lie.

“I don’t kn—” It sounded as though she was really struggling, now. If she didn’t hurry the fuck up, he might miss out on the confirmation all together. “I don’t know everything. Aviv doesn’t tell me.”

“Who agreed on what, Ivanna?”

“The Rutherfords, when they asked for help in Porto…”

In a split second, it felt like all of the air had been sucked from the room.

Of all the cancerous things he was expecting might leave her mouth, that was not one of them.

Porto? They were in fucking Porto?

“What do you mean? What help did the Rutherfords ask for in Porto Velho?”

“They needed help. Help. The hotel. If we helped with the hotel, they said we could come here…”

If he hadn’t been so stunned by the words that had just left her dumb fucking mouth, he might’ve made a solid attempt at ripping her head from her shoulders. The Russians had been in Porto Velho this whole fucking time, and it had gone unnoticed? Unpunished? Was the hotel she was referring to Versailles? It seemed pretty fucking unlikely they’d enlist Russian help to work on PR for the Chelsea fucking Royal… Laurent could feel every ounce of anger he’d felt about that whole cluster fuck—even if his pain had come at the hands of someone else—flood back in an instant. Aurélie had been stabbed. Alessia was dead.

“You stupid fucking cunt.”

The outburst was a solid reminder that Jai was still in the room, because for a minute there, lost in an absolute flood of wrath, Laurent had forgotten he’d existed.

Whilst he was fully expecting this to go his way—to get solid confirmation that it had, indeed, been the Rutherfords who had invited the Russians to London—he had not expected their desperate collusion to go back so far. For it to have been the Russians who had orchestrated the attack on their hotel, and not the British family they had been blaming for years. Fuck, they should’ve known… They might’ve had the money and the influence, but to attack the heads of two powerful crime families so boldly? It was out there. Too fucking out there.

The fucking Russians.

“Do you mean Versailles?”

It was impossible to keep himself from shaking. Laurent had long ago given up the gentle hand against her head for fear of crushing her skull before she could finish.

“She means Empire. The Russians helped us with funding for Empire.”

That particular bluff might’ve landed better if Aurélie didn’t have Amir, the actual fucking investor, wrapped around her little finger.

“The Russians help at Versailles, and the Rutherfords let some of us move to Haringey. It was the deal. I just wanted a fresh start. We just wanted to be anywhere but Launceston…”

“You people will literally say anything to drag us down,” Jai scoffed.

Even though he was gearing up to shout again, Laurent’s hand had already found its way to the cool metal of his gun. It did nothing physically to soothe the fact he felt like he was on fire, but the deafening sound of the point-blank shot—the sight of Jai slumping back as soon as the bullet smashed through his skull—was satisfying in ways he could only hope to relive with Johnathan. Laurent stared at the carcass as though he expected it to speak up again. Get fucking cocky now, you prick. Ivanna was now in fits of sobs so loud he could hardly hear himself think. Still, his hand held firmly onto his weapon, and he wondered whether he should turn around and shove the thing into her noisy fucking mouth.

“Wasn’t he helpful, Ivanna?”

“You said you weren’t going to hurt me…”

The sound of the door opening, Sylvain and Dan bursting through the door to see what was happening a second later, did little to distract him from the woman in front of him.

“I never break a promise.”

Her pathetic relief was the cherry on the top of the dead Jai sundae.

“But that man over there?” Laurent said quietly, lifting a hand to gesture toward the men with a smile. “This is Daniel. Did Aviv ever mention somebody named Daniel to you? Maybe Noa?”

The way that she seemed to freeze in an instant suggested yes. It hadn’t taken a bullet to drain the life from her; just a boyfriend who couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and the couple of brain cells it took to add two and two together.

“Aviv took some things that belonged to Noa. Wedding and engagement rings. He almost took their baby’s life, too, did you know that?”

Laurent had thought her face couldn’t possibly look even worse than it had done post-beating, but as it contorted into the ugliest fucking crying face he’d seen since Sofia Kurylenko, he realised that he’d been wrong. This was definitely worse. Dan could have dibs on the physical suffering, but Laurent was glad to be the one to make her suffer without having to life a fucking finger.

He would enjoy thinking about it for weeks to come.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Ivanna,” he said, standing up straight and slipping his gun back into the holster. “But Dan? I think Dan is probably going to hurt you a lot.”

#self para #i miss writing laurent aww

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prettyrosemistress · 5 years

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Australian Made Swiftie Approach To Lover

written by Kim Jayne Dowling

27th August 2019, 9:27pm

So here it goes. I’ve been reading a lot of articles about Taylor Swift’s new album “Lover” which came out on Friday 23rd August. However, and it could be my biased opinion as a hardcore and long dedicated ‘swiftie’ but I feel that upon judging the tracks, a few points have been off the mark. Having been a listener to Ms Swift’s music for the past 12 years (note I remember the date - 27th February 2007), I believe this makes me someone who understands the growth but yet the essence of Taylor as a songwriter. Leading up to this album, she herself described this album as a “songwriter’s journey” and now that I have listened to this album so much, I can now begin to sing the lyrics to myself acapella, I agree with this wholeheartedly. Sure, there are rises in this where bubblegum pop music production was the focus, but I sincerely believe that the album contains a message behind every lyric. Yes, kids I’m even talking about ‘ME!’ (see what I did there?). So here we go, this is my opinions of each track, because as a swiftie, I must admit this is the first album since RED that I consider has not a single skip. So without further ado, Lover this one’s for you…

1. I Forgot That You Existed

A fantastic opener in my opinion and definitely holds the message of leaving a dark side of life behind. True, this might not be the perfect number one hit song, but it’s one that leaves you shaking off the feeling of dread of someone who caused you the deepest anxiety and now you can just leap back to being the person you are meant to be. 3 out of 5 stars.

2. Cruel Summer

To be honest, I heard this one and said out loud, alone on a Friday night - BOP! Yes, I used incorrect language and really connected to the lyrics. We have all had those nights where you get a little too drunk and think you’ve found the one, only to realise later you’ve been a fool, but look back and say, yep, that was fun. 4 out of 5 stars.

3. Lover

This song is classic Taylor, but with maturity. I feel like this is the song she has been trying to write since the beginning. The hooks, the guitar, the beautiful beat...it’s like a warm hug on Christmas morning. 5 out of 5 stars.

4. The Man

As a woman who has worked in ‘men’s industries’ for the past 9 years, I can relate to these lyrics. Sitting in lunch rooms and listening to how they talk about their weekends and then realising that how I spent mine was the same, yet they give me the look like ‘wow’ (dulling that one down). This song is an anthem. Plus the pop production is very current to what is popular, so is a perfect winner. 5 out of 5 stars.

5. The Archer

Track Five Syndrome - check. Before this song, All Too Well was the Track 5 song that I could only relate to every single word. Now that we have The Archer, this makes two. Every anxiety and the beautiful 1980’s inspired production, makes this one for the ages. 5 out of 5 stars.

6. I Think He Knows

Immediately when I listened to the album, this one didn’t stand out too much, but now that I’ve listened to this a few times, I can now admit this is definitely an anthem, a bit of unrequited soul and new beginnings. This one reminds you of a night out on a repeat date where you can’t help but glance a look just because your in full force falling mode. 3 out of 5 stars.

7. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

Again, at first I wasn’t sure of this song because of the production compared to the lyrics. This is potentially one of the best pieces of story songwriting on the album. I think this one truly would shine as an acoustic ballad, which I am hoping is brought out on tour? (hint Taylor, hint hint?). 4 out of 5 stars.

8. Paper Rings

This one just makes you want to get up and dance. The old school punk pop feeling to the production, the count in to the chorus (hello Jack!), the lyrics. Now, if only I had a honey I want to marry, I’d serenade them with this in a dance number. 4 out of 5 stars.

9. Cornelia Street

Hands down, absolute favourite on the album. Solely written by Taylor and it speaks completely of her and her ability to tell the emotions of a memory. The final message is one of love, but one that tells of the anxieties once you’ve found love and how much it would break you to see it end. The story, the lyrics, the production, the ability to be great both as a studio song or live. 5 out of 5 stars.

10. Death By A Thousand Cuts

I actually expected a lot more out of this when seeing the title. I was expecting a slow and soppy heartbreaking ballad. Instead, I was presented with a cute bubblegum pop breakup anthem. Looking at the lyrics this could easily be covered and turned into a minor key sort of song, but I suppose this puts a positive spin on a relationship ending. 3 out of 5 stars.

11. London Boy

This one is just very very cute. Presenting us with the idea of creating a new home for yourself, that is completely different to what you are used to, but showing that being committed and in love with someone can change your perspective and ideals in life. 3 out of 5 stars.

12. Soon You’ll Get Better (feat. Dixie Chicks)

Hands down, saddest song on the album. On first listen, I was bawling my eyes out. I would find it hard to believe if anyone out there could listen to this and not relate to it. The simple country melody and harmonies and a tale of watching someone very close to you go through a life challenging battle. 5 out of 5 stars.

13. False God

THAT SAXOPHONE THOUGH. Okay, first of all, the saxophone is hands down my favourite instrument ever existed, so any song that presents this will be an instant hit with me. Then, we listen to the lyrics and this is a very good description of a mature adult relationship where love creates the ideals you live by. If Dress on reputation was one of your favourites, then False God is like the older and wiser sibling that it aspires to be. 5 out of 5 stars.

14. You Need To Calm Down

I’m not usually one to hold Taylor’s pop anthems at the top of my list in an album ranking, but this one and it’s message that love is valid in any form it comes in has me wanting to shout these lyrics from the rooftops. 4 out of 5 stars.

15. Afterglow

So this one has become a bit of a swiftie favourite (from what I’m seeing on my feeds) and whilst I can admit, the production and writing value is superb, I’m failing to connect to it. Yes, it's a very valid song for the phases of a relationship, so perhaps one day I’ll see it in another light (oh wow, my ability to form words is on point.) 3 out of 5 stars.

16. ME! (feat. Brendon Urie of Panic! At The Disco)

Okay, so everyone hates on this song. But it’s a carefree bubblegum pop song, it's not meant to be the best song on the album. The lyrics are catching and the message is pure, plus anything Brendon does is amazing. This song is fun with or without the spelling is fun line. It makes me just instantly happy listening to it. That’s the sign of a good number one pop song. 3 out of 5 stars.

17. It’s Nice To Have A Friend

So this is a side to Taylor’s writing I’ve never heard and I kinda like it. It’s more of a rhyme, as the structure is not your typical pop song. Short and sweet and really makes you think about the memories you share with anyone you can call a friend and how you got there. 4 out of 5 stars.

18. Daylight

Again, sole Taylor always shines through. This is a perfect way to finish and perfect album. The throwback to RED and how her notion of love has changed, really made me smile on this one. It sounds simple and beautiful. The final spoken word voice memo on the end, shows that Taylor is back and she’s happier than ever. 5 out of 5 stars.

So there you have it, this is my interpretation of in my opinion an album that Taylor was working up to her whole life and it has paid off swimmingly. An overall 4 and a half stars from me, and I cannot wait to see how this is further presenting when it comes to live performance, music videos or anything else the brilliant mind of Taylor Swift might come up with. So for those with a tainted view where they refuse to listen because of how others see her, for a healthier option...

stream Lover now

@taylorswift

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all-the-love-harold · 6 years

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It’s a Sign of the Times - Part #6

*credit to the owner of these images*

It’s been a few weeks since we last saw Y/N and Harry, and since realising that they both wanted more than friendship, they’ve been on a few dates, and spent every waking moment together (not that that’s out of the ordinary for them anyway). They’re very much in love, and in this chapter we see them try to navigate their situation with the baby, trying to figure out how Harry will be involved, we see them go nursery shopping and Y/N pack up her little London flat, to move somewhere big enough for her and the baby.

Word count: 3.5k

Part #5 here

Master Post

August 18th – 19 Weeks

You walked through the store, a few baby grow’s in your hand, as you made your way to the furniture section to look at cribs, Harry trailing behind you, stopping every few steps to look at all the cute baby things that were scattered throughout the store. You’d done your research and you knew exactly want kind of crib you wanted, so you beelined straight for it.

“Y/N,” Harry said from a few feet behind you, holding up a Teddy Bear that had a guitar attached to it “this is absolutely something that he needs”

You laughed turning your head back to the crib that you wanted “We’re not here to buy toys H”

“Right Sorry,” he said, putting the bear down and jogging his way over to you “Is this the one you wanted?” he ran his hand over the edge of the crib, inspecting the inside.

“Can I help you two with anything?” the sales assistant came over and slipped herself between yourself and Harry batting her eyelids at him

“We’re alright thanks” you flashed a fake smile at her and took hold of Harry’s hand and he looked at you curiously. The two of you were an item now and it had been established that Harry was going to be a big part of this Baby’s life, but public affection still felt weird for both of you.

“Ok, let me know if you need anything” she turned and walked away as Harry thanked her. He turned to you and smirked.

“What?” you asked

“You just got jealous” he chuckled “of a sales assistant, trying to do her job”

“She didn’t need to bat her eyelids like that,” you said softly, looking down at the crib

He smirked some more, a smug look on his face “She’s just doing her job love” he placed a kiss on your forehead “Now is this the crib you wanted?”

“Yeah” you sighed “but it’s so much bigger than I thought it was, I don’t know where I’m going to fit it”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that love” he walked away from the crib so that the other couple that just walked in could look too and you followed, curious about what he would say next “Move in with me Y/N, we basically live together already, there’s just a lot more room at my place”

“I thought you liked my place because of how cosy it is” you smiled at him

“Cosy will quickly become cramped when there’s a baby in there too”

He was right, you knew your flat was too small for you and the baby and now that Harry was essentially his father there was no way you could all live comfortably there. If you moved in with Harry the baby could have his own nursery, and, like Harry said, it wouldn’t be any different from him staying in your flat every night, just bigger.

“Are you sure Harry?” you asked, “moving in is a big deal”

“Y/N, I don’t remember the last time we slept in separate beds, besides when I was away and that doesn’t count, we eat every meal together, we go grocery shopping together, we cook together, we already live together, we just need more space with a little one on the way”

You nodded “more space would be ideal”

“Is that a yes?” He asked

“It’s a yes Harry!” You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “I wouldn’t want to live with anyone else”

“Great because I already know which room is going to be the nursery”

“The one closest to your room, with the big window?”

“That’s the one” he smiled at you “and that crib will fit in there no problem”

With the problem of space settled, you and Harry went through store getting all the major pieces of furniture that would need to be built before he left for tour. You knew it was still early in your pregnancy, and the nursery wouldn’t need to be ready for months, but there was a very real chance that your little prince would arrive while Harry’s away on tour and you needed everything to be ready if he did. After choosing the crib, the changing table, the dresser and the rocking chair, Harry arranged to have them all delivered to his house on Monday and you paid for the baby grows that you had chosen, excited to be buying him first pieces of clothing.

“I’ll meet you in the car, want to go back to get something” Harry said, handing you his car keys while you were in the queue, and turned around. Confused, you shrugged as you watched him walk away, and turned to the counter, taking your card out and paying for your things.

“That’s not Harry Styles is it?” the girl said as she handed you your receipt

“Yeah” you smiled “That is Harry Styles” you took the bag from her

“Oh my god” she smiled “then you must be Y/N from radio 1?”

“That’s me” you laughed

“I follow your Instagram, I’m so excited for you and your little bubba” she admitted, blushing a little, she was young, 17 at the oldest, and you found it endearing that she would be even remotely interested in you or your baby, but you guessed it was because if Harry’s connection to the whole situation.

“Thanks, I’m excited too” you turned around to see Harry jogging back towards the counter “ahh speak of the devil” you laughed

“Is it unprofessional if I ask him for a photo?”

“Nah” you shook your head “he’s used to it and he’s in a good mood today”

He made his way to the counter, teddy in hand, “You’re still here, everything ok?”

“Yeah, I was just chatting to...” you looked at the girl, realising that you hadn’t asked for her name

“Ashley” she smiled at you

“I was chatting to Ashely”

“Well hello Ashley” he said cheerfully, placing the bear on the counter and reaching into his back pocket for his wallet

“Hi Harry” she said softly, face turning red she picked up the bear and scanned it “turning your god son into a mini you then?” she said pointing to the guitar

He smiled, flashing his dimple at her “Maybe”

“Ashley would love a photo Harry” you said as she handed him the bag, “but she’s too shy to ask”

He gave her a curious look and she blushed again nodding, pulling her phone out from under the counter “Don’t tell my boss I have my phone here”

You smiled at her, remembering the days when you had worked in a baby store similar to this one, back home, that remained uninhabited for most of the day and the only way to pass the time had been to play games on your phone. “Secret’s safe with us” you took the phone from her and Harry leant over the counter, putting his arm around her and smiling. The photos came out a little awkward because of the way Harry was leaning over the counter, but Ashley was more than happy with them. You handed her the phone back and she thanked you both, wishing you luck with the baby and Harry with his upcoming tour.

You got into the car and leant your head against the headrest closing your eyes for a second, feeling a slight flutter in your belly. A few seconds later, after putting your bags in the back, Harry hoped into the driver’s seat, looking over at you, a worried look on his face.

“You alright love?” he asked, placing a hand on your knee

You opened your eyes and smiled at him, “Yeah, just tired” you lied, not wanting to worry him. He put the keys in the ignition and started the car,

“Let’s get you home then” he reversed out of the park and silence filled the car as you rested your head on the headrest and you continued to feel flutters in your stomach. You’d been told that this is what movement from the baby feels like, but you were sure it was too early for that, so you figured it was probably gas. As you sat in the busy London Traffic, you couldn’t stop thinking about how that girl had call Harry the Baby’s God father, as if he was some distant relative that you only saw on Christmas, but Harry was so much than that to your baby boy and you needed him to know that.

“Harry?” you said softly

“Hmm?” he replied, looking over at you

“You know you’re more than this Baby’s God Father, right?”

The light was red, and the car came to a stop as Harry turned to look you right in the eye “I’ve been trying not to over step my mark here Y/N, I know I’m not really his dad, but Christ I want to be”

“There’s no mark to overstep H, you’re the closest thing he has to a dad, we’re about to move in with you, as far as he knows, you’re his dad, and I wouldn’t have it any other way”

The light was green again and you weren’t far from your flat now “Thank you” he said, a little lost for words. This certainly wasn’t how he’d imagined becoming a Father would feel, but somehow, the prospect of doing it with you, even if the baby wasn’t his, made it feel better than he’d imagined because it meant that he got to live the rest of his life with his best friend by his side.

***

August 19th – 19 weeks

Saturday Morning and you’d just arrived at the broadcasting house. The live lounge month hadn’t even started yet and it was already killing you, in order to make it all work, you knew you’d have to put in some extra hours, but today, you were making ten other people put in extra hours too, but they were happy to do it, for both you and Harry. His schedule was so busy for the next month, between rehearsals and helping you with baby things, he had to make everyday count and weekends didn’t exist for him.

You were the first to arrive, with Harry promising you that he and the band would be there within the hour so that you could all get out of there and enjoy the last of the summer weather that London was offering today. You’d finally convinced Big Boss Ben that Harry didn’t need to be treated like any other celebrity that comes through Radio 1, which made today a little easier for you because you didn’t need to put on a spread for him. You made your way down the hallway, turning on all the lights in Clara’s studio and the live lounge, taking a few Instagram shots to get people hyped.

Once everyone arrived about twenty minutes after you did, you called them all into the live lounge room, for a debriefing, before Harry arrived.

“Hey guys” you said over they’re chatter, and they all quietened down “Thank you all for coming in on a Saturday, Harry really does appreciate it, and so do I because it really does make my life much easier having this pre-recorded” you smiled taking a sip of the tea you’d made yourself while you waited for them all to arrive “So the plan of attack is, Clara, I’ll get you to do the interview with Harry pretty much as soon as he gets here, so Steve and Liz, I’ll get you to get the studio all ready for that once we’re finished here, and while those two are in there doing that, Harry’s people will be in here getting everything set up and the rest of us will be doing whatever we can to help them with that. Questions?” everyone shook their heads “Wonderful” you clapped your hands softly “Harry will be doing four songs, two of his own, Sign of the Times and Two Ghosts, and two covers, The Chain, and Wild Thoughts, which won’t be airing but will be going on the CD, when I finally get that organised.” You took another sip of your tea and checked your phone, seeing a message from Harry “ok I think that’s everything, Harry’s just texted me telling me he’s 10 minutes away, so everyone can go and do whatever they need to do, get coffee’s and whatever else you need to keep you going and we’ll get this show on the road, so we can get out of here.”

Everyone scattered through the studio, getting things organised and you made your way to your desk to check over Clara’s interview script, checking that everything was ok, not that you thought it wouldn’t be, but you knew how pedantic Harry’s team could be about interview questions, so you thought it best to check. Finding nothing that needed to be changed, you left your desk to take it down the hall to Clara when the elevator doors opened, letting Harry out.

You blinked at him a few times, sure that he’d told you he would come in the back entrance today, “Hi” you said, slightly confused

“Don’t look so happy to see me love”

“Sorry” you shook your head “I just thought you were coming in the other way today”

He shrugged “I come in this way every other day”

“True,” you hugged him “where’s everyone else?”

“They’re a few minutes behind, thought I’d come in and give you guys a hand” he rubbed your shoulder “make sure you’re not stressed”

“I’ve never been stressed in my life” you said, taking his hand leading him down the hallway to Clara’s studio where Steve and Liz were still getting all the equipment ready to record “Clara must be in the break room then” you smiled and turned around telling Harry to wait there, while you spoke to her. Ten minutes later, when Harry’s band and management team had arrived, you sent him and Clara into her studio to get the interview done while your tech team got the live lounge ready to record and his people brought all the necessary instruments up. Once everything was ready and the interview was done, Harry made his way to the live lounge, water bottle in hand, saying hello to his band who were all there waiting for him.

“Can I uh, can I just say something before we start?” he said into the mic, getting everyone’s attention “Thanks, uh, I just wanted to thank everyone for letting me do this on a Saturday, I know you all work hard during the week, so it means a lot that you’re all here today, so uh thank you” he said awkwardly.

You offered him a thumbs up from behind the window where everyone was watching in, as everyone else smiled at him. You were stood next to Jeff and Tommy, who had both congratulated you on the baby and were asking how you were feeling so far, Tommy making sure that you had a seat, something you were sure Harry had told him to do. After getting the ok from the tech guys to start, Harry checked that the band was ready, and they started off with Sign of the Times. This was a song that you’d heard thousands of times before, but you’d only seen it live once, and seeing how much he enjoyed himself while singing it made it all the more special. You knew how much he had come to love his band recently and you could see it in the way that they looked at him, they loved working with him too. Throughout the four songs, Harry took every chance he could to look at you and smile, or wink especially during Wild Thoughts.

Once all four songs had been recorded and everything had been packed up, Harry thanked everyone once again and you all left the studios, and you and Harry made your way back to your flat to get a start on the move. You’d given your landlord your two weeks’ notice last night, which meant that you would need to get a move on with the packing. Harry wanted you living with him as soon as possible, but he didn’t want to put you under too much stress, so he settled for slowly moving your things over the next two weeks.

***

August 30th 2017 – 21 Weeks

You stood in the middle of your empty flat, staring out at the view that you’d fallen in love with the day you finally moved in four years ago. This had been your home for the last four years, it was where you’d spent hours studying for the exams you were sure you would never pass, this flat was more than just a place to sleep, it was your home away from home, where you’d learnt to live independently, it had been a source of comfort on the days when you couldn’t believe your family and all of your friends were a 23 hour flight away. It was where you were when you found out you were pregnant, and it was in this living room that you’d fallen in love Harry, without even knowing it. Leaving this place wasn’t easy, it made sense, you needed more space now, but saying goodbye to this flat was also saying goodbye this part of your life. In a few short months you would be a mother, and your days of staying out late on a Saturday night would be behind you.

“You good love?” Harry walked in, interrupting your thoughts

“Yeah” you sighed, a tear falling from your eye.

He put his arm around your waist and pulled you in closer to him, engulfing you in a hug after wiping the tears out of your eyes “Almost all of my favourite memories of the last four years have happened here” he rested his head on top of yours and you leant closer into his chest, “I’m sad to leaving this place behind too.”

“Remember that time we got drunk and danced to the up all night album”

“And you laughed at me the whole time?”

“Yeah” you giggled into his chest

“Yeah, I remember it well, you tripped on the loose floorboard in the kitchen and nearly broke your toe”

“That was the first time I saw you naked”

“Nooo” he said in disbelief “we’d been friends for like a year already”

“Yeah” you pulled away from the hug “You were very reserved for the first year of our friendship”

“Cause I liked you” he admitted, blushing a little

“Took you long enough to admit it” you walked towards the door, placing your key on the kitchen counter like the landlord had asked

“Well, you’re about to move in with me, so I must have done something right”

You rolled your eyes and watched as Harry put his key next to yours, pulling his car keys out of his pocket grabbing hold of your hand as you took a deep breath “Bye little London Flat” you giggled, closing the door behind you.

***

You didn’t have a lot of things that you needed to move into Harry’s house, most of your furniture had gone into storage and, it was really just clothes and personal items that would make it feel like your house too. You’d always liked Harry’s house, you thought it was beautiful, but it had never felt very homey to you, and you got the feeling that Harry thought that too, you figured that was why he’d always stayed in your flat.

You were sitting on the couch with Harry that night, watching “The Notebook” continuing the tradition that started years ago, when you first moved to London. Harry was scheduled to leave for L.A in a few days to start his tour and you wanted to make the most of the time with him. You were tired, after a long day of unpacking and you were slowly falling asleep wrapped in Harry’s arms when you felt a sharp flutter in your belly, where you knew the baby was sitting, you sat up quickly and moved your hands over the spot where you felt the movement.

“ ‘s wrong?” he mumbled, voice breaking from being quiet for so long

“He’s moving Harry” you took his hand placed it on your belly, pulling your shirt up so that he was touching your bare skin “Did you feel that”

He chucked, sitting up a little and placing his other hand on the other side of your bump “He really is moving” he smiled a smile so wide the corners of his eyes crinkled

“That’s our boy H” you placed your hand over his

He looked at you intently for a moment, seeing the excitement on your face, he realised that he didn’t ever want to do this with anyone else. You were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, no matter what, you were his best friend and he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else ever again.

“Marry me, Y/N?”

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madeleineandwilliam-ff · 6 years

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Chapter Eight: Part Two

Author’s Note: Hello, everyone! My last update was in June...JUNE!! I’m officially terrible. Anywho, here is your long awaited Part Two for Madeleine’s St Andrews visit. So many of you have messaged me endlessly about the continuation of this story. Your words of support and encouragement are what brought me back to this story...now let’s hope I can actually give you a few chapters to enjoy before life gets crazy for me again! As always, keep the messages coming. I love to hear your thoughts and love to fangirl right along with you. Hope to talk soon (and yes, that means there’s more Madde x William to come!) ! - xoxo Jill

November 2001

The next day, Madeleine and William enjoyed a breakfast of pancakes and coffee in their hotel room.

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Madeleine asked as she sipped her coffee.

William smiled. “Hmm, do you want to explore St. Andrew’s more?”

Madeleine bit her lip. “We could or.....”

William raised his eyebrow at her. “Oh, I’m sorry Princess. What did you have in mind?”

“You promised that you’d teach me how to ride a motorcycle. And let’s say that the weather will be decent today and you did promise me, William Wales.” Madeleine said with a grin.

William chuckled. “And this is coming from the girl who said my motorcycle was a deathtrap.”

Madeleine rolled her eyes. “So now you’re the sensible one in this relationship? If I remember correctly I was told to be young and reckless on our first date, oh and let’s not forget the breaking and entering....”

William pointed a finger at her. “Touché, Party Princess. Get yourself ready and you will learn how to ride a motorcycle today.”

For a November day in Scotland the weather was fantastic. The sun was shining, no rain, and Madeleine and William only required lightweight jackets in order to stay warm. William took Madeleine to one of his favorite spots so far in St Andrews, and it just so happened to be the ideal place for her to learn how to ride a motorcycle - West Sands Beach.

William had her in the parking lot that overlooked the beach to practice, mainly because it was secluded from the rest of the town. There were only a few people on the beach because of the time of year, which worked out perfectly in Madeleine and William’s favor.

Madeleine looked out onto the ocean as William unloaded his bike from the Range Rover driven by his bodyguards.

“This place is beautiful.” Madeleine exclaimed as she watched the crashing ocean waves.

“That it is, you think you could get used to it?” William asked as he came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Madeleine turned around in his embrace and smiled up at him. “Why don’t we cross that bridge when we come to it, hm?”

William bent down and kissed her forehead. “Deal.”

Madeleine clapped her hands. “Alright so how do I ride this thing?”

“Well first of all, you’ve got some reading to do.”

Madeleine’s face scrunched up like a toddler about to throw a temper tantrum. “You’re kidding me, right?”

William circled around to the Range Rover and grabbed a thick book from the backseat. “Welcome to Motorcycles for Beginners, love.”

Madeleine took the book from him and observed it, cover to cover. It was titled Ducati 797: For Beginners, she read the brief synopsis on the back of the book and then flipped through the pages.

“Did you read this, William?” Madeleine said as she tossed the book over to her bodyguard, Ludvig, who barely caught it. Meanwhile her other bodyguard Olle began to chuckle, knowing where this conversation was going.

“I did read it, it was very helpful.” William replied, crossing his arms.

Madeleine bit her lip and nodded at him, closing her eyes. She was trying to figure out exactly the right words to say to him. “William, darling. If you don’t figure out how to show me to ride that motorcycle without reading that worthless book, I will figure it out myself and drive off into the sunset and right to London by myself.”

“Mads, the book is very helpful. You have to know the basics and how to respect the bike before you get on.” William replied as his cheeks flushed red.

Madeleine nodded. “Maybe I should have Olle and Ludvig teach me when I get back home to London.” Madeleine turned to them. “Do you two require so much reading before someone rides your bike? You know in order for them to respect it.”

Ludvig chuckled and Olle grinned. “Not exactly, Your Highness.”

William put his head in the palm of his hand. “You’re overreacting.”

Madeleine rolled her eyes and mounted the bike. “This is not hard, William. All you do is TCG.”

William furrowed his brow. “What the hell is TCG?”

“Throttle...Clutch...Gear Lever. Maybe you should be the one reading the book while I take a ride on the bike.” Madeleine said a mischievous smile on her lips as her eyes met William’s.

William huffed, realizing it clearly wasn’t worth the fight. “Ok, so I went a little overboard with the book. I apologize, Princess. But just be careful when you’re in the driver seat.... ok?”

And then that’s when it hit her. Madeleine had awful flashbacks of the day of August 31st, 1997. The photos, the newspapers, the news reports, the worldwide public mourning. It was the day Diana died. The day William lost his mother due to a automobile accident in Paris. It wasn’t an easy event for anyone to forget, but as she got closer to William this was only a small glimpse of how she would see how the horrific event impacted the man - the son of the notorious People’s Princess - she was falling in love with.

“Let’s make a deal, how does that sound?” Madeleine asked, taking this new detail into consideration.

“There are always conditions with you, aren’t there?” He replied as he handed Madeleine a helmet.

“Only when there need to be.” Madeleine paused as she put the helmet over her head and tightened the chin strap just so. “I’ll read your manual on the dreadfully long train ride home to London, but I want to actually ride your bike today. Deal?”

He sighed. “Fine, but you’re not hitting the road till I say so.”

“My, my you’re so protective, William Wales.” Madeleine said, smiling up at him as he climbed on the back of the bike and wrapped his arms around her waist.

William rested his head on Madeleine’s shoulder and whispered into her ear, his warm breath sending chills down her back as the words left his lips. “Show me what you’ve got, Mads.”

“Watch me.” Madeleine replied as she flipped the motorcycle on and into gear, she then effortlessly steered it across the parking lot.

William’s grip around Madeleine’s waist tightened as she gained speed around the vast parking lot. “Not too fast. Please.”

“Don’t backseat drive. It’s not a very attractive personality trait, love.” Madeleine said with a smirk as the wind hit her face. It was refreshing to prove that she could indeed drive this motorcycle without William’s manual.

The fresh, salty scent of the West Sands Beach smelled heavenly as they whipped back and forth, up and down the parking lot. Each time they passed Olle and Ludvig, whom were idly watching, and giving Madeleine a high five each time she passed.

“You know, I don’t believe this is your first time driving a motorcycle.” William said as they raced back up the parking lot for the umteenth time.

“I never said I hadn’t driven a motorcycle before. Where did you get that idea from?” Madeleine said as she stopped by Olle and Ludvig to take a break.

“Well, let’s see, you referred to my bike as a “death trap” the very first time I took you on it. Where did you ever learn how to ride a bike?” William replied, a perplexed expression on his face.

“I do have an older brother, you know. Carl Philip taught me a few summers ago while we were at Solliden for the season. I’m no pro but I’m no beginner, love.” Madeleine paused as she smirked at the confused look on his face. “And it is a deathtrap on the busy streets of London to a person who has only been on a motorcycle on the palace grounds.”

“But if you knew how to ride a motorcycle, why did you ask me to teach you how to and why did you just give me the runaround about that book?” William asked, his brow furrowed.

Madeleine bit her lip. “Well, you see, I never said I was a pro. At Solliden I was never a pro, I once crashed into a wall and then there was a bush incident. I wasn’t very good with Carl Philip as my teacher, quite horrible actually. I think this is just a fluke, if I’m being honest here.”

William sighed as he watched Madeleine shrug her shoulders. “You could have killed us! Now do you see why I wanted you to read the manual?!”

Madeleine waved her hand in the air. “Now, now take it down a notch, Drama Queen. I wouldn’t have gone so fast these last few rounds had I not been confident in my driving skills. And, not to mention I am going to read your precious manual on the train ride home.”

William had dismounted the bike but inched closer to Madeleine. She could be quite frustrating when she wanted to, but he loved how she challenged him. He grabbed her hands and interlaced his fingers with hers. “You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Madeleine smiled up at him, as her eyes met his. “Someone has to keep you on your toes, my dear.”

“Well, I have no doubt that you indeed will continue to do that.” William said as he very softly pressed his lips to hers for a short and sweet kiss.

Madeleine and William continued their afternoon on West Sands Beach with the serene, crashing ocean waves as their only company and of course the watchful eyes of their protection officers from afar. They walked the beach and talked for hours with each other. They talked of their dreams, played games, picked seashells, and desperately attempted to make sandcastles.

They found themselves watching the sunset in the warm of embrace of a comfortable silence as the end of the day neared. Madeleine had her head rested upon William’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her as the sun cast its golden rays down on the glimmering ocean.

“I don’t want this weekend to end.” Madeleine said as the sun slowly fell behind the horizon.

“It has been perfect.” William said with a sigh.

“When can we see each other again? We’ve been spoiled with two days together.” Madeleine replied, dreading even the smallest thought of leaving for London in the morning.

“I have my winter break in a few weeks, final exams start next week.” William sighed. “When do you leave to go home to Sweden for Christmas?”

“The sixteenth of December. When do you come home to London for winter break?”

“I return on the fifteenth of December, after my last exam.” William replied.

“So that leaves us with one day together for the next month, and I don’t return to London until after the New Year. Which means you’ll probably be back here to St Andrews.” Madeleine stated, her shoulders fell as she pulled her head off his shoulder and looked up at him. “One day, William.”

“Is that doubt I hear in your voice? No, no, no...what conversation did we just have last night?” William asked as concern filled his blue eyes.

They both weren’t unbeknownst to the odds that would be put against them. Long distance relationships were almost always likely to fail, especially if two high profile college students were the protagonists. The media would run wild with theories, their siblings and friends would fill them with doubt. But they had to be determined, they had to beat the odds. For they were in it for the long haul.

“We said a lot of things last night, William.” Madeleine sighed. “I��m not implying what you’re thinking. I’m not giving up on us by any means. But one day together, for who knows how many days. I don’t know if I, if we, can do that. Do you think we can?”

William shook his head as a smile came to his lips. “Who says its one day? Right now it is, yes. But that doesn’t mean some rearranging of schedules can’t be done. Madeleine, I said to you last night we’re in it for the long haul. I’m a man of my word. I believe we can do this, long distance, one day at a time.”

Madeleine took his hand as she inhaled deeply. “You’re right. And you know what...that one day....it’s going to be the best day. We’ll make sure of it.”

“So I guess I should ask you now, huh?” William asked, grinning at her.

“Ask me what?” Madeleine replied with a furrowed brow.

“Well, make it official...of course.” William took Madeleine’s hands in his and with a enchanting grin asked, “Will you be my girlfriend, Princess?”

A blush came to Madeleine’s cheeks as she grinned. “Oh gee, I don’t know. I have sooo many options and well this is just a wee bit secondary school of you. But I suppose, my answer would have to be...YES!”

Madeleine fell back onto their blanket in an overwhelming burst of joy and disbelief all in one. She didn’t know how she could have possibly gotten so lucky with someone as great as William at the age of nineteen. William chuckled as he hovered over her and his lips met hers in an exhilarating moment, as their lips rapidly entwined as they lay in the chilly Scotland air.

#royal fanfic #royalfanficcollection #royalfanficcentral #madeleine and william ff #princess madeleine ff #prince william ff

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theseventhmarch · 6 years

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Reflection as a figure skating fan on 2017

This year has been an amazing year for me. At the end of 2016, Tumblr has introduced to me YOI, which has been a joy on its own. It has also brought me some friends on Tumblr, @boredjodyc and @pigfarts23. I would like to thank the unclear explanation of quad jumps in YOI, which prompted me to look up “quad Salchow” on YouTube - this led me to Miki Ando and Yuzuru Hanyu.

Edited: 1 January 2018 - minor grammatical errors; additional paragraphs in bold.

It took me about 4 or 5 months before I can confidently distinguish different types of jumps (I was stuck on the difference between the Flip jump and the Lutz jump in the last 2 months of that). Thanks to @pigfarts23 and their Rabbit watch-parties, I found myself falling in love with Yuzuru’s skating, and I “met” @boredjodyc , who is my partner-in-crime for all things Yuzuru then. I couldn’t stream his Four Continents short program live, but I managed to stream his free skate! That was my first introduction to Yuzuru’s emergency layouts. (I'M STILL NOT OVER TRIPLE AXEL AS THE LAST JUMP - AND THIS IS ACTUALLY THE PLANNED LAYOUT THIS SEASON.)

Early March, a few days after my birthday, I created a fandom Twitter account.

Jody was in London late-March and I suggested to meet up! We had afternoon tea (in my opinion it was disappointing) - we talked for 4 hours, if I remember correctly! This was my first time meeting an online friend, and I'm so glad I did it!

World Championships came - I pondered if I should go to Helsinki, but the Men’s Free Skate tickets were sold out on the official site (later I learnt I should have asked around on forums/twitter/tumblr) - and I died over Yuzuru’s knee down on his quad Salchow. Two days later, on April 1st, he broke another record, and it was definitely not a joke.

I jumped and screamed when he landed that quad Sal-triple Toe combo that he struggled with the whole season.

Then, World Team Trophy happened, and the men were popping their jumps left and right. LOL at Yuzuru getting that positive (+0.09) GOE for that single Axel. But it is ok, since it was a joke competition anyway.

I met up with Jody again mid-May at a pub, after she was done gallivanting around Europe, before she was headed back home. (I MISS YOU!)

Off-season, there were many ice shows. Perhaps the most important reveal of these ice shows was that Yuzuru would be repeating his Chopin short program, with a quad Loop and a back-loaded combo: quad Toe-triple Toe. After his reveal (I remember it was during my last exam and I found out about it on my way home), Jody and I frantically calculated all the possible jump layout and base values for his free skate (after staring at the jump layout rules for a while), whatever it may be. We had two different situations on our hands - with or without the quad Lutz. I don't know about Jody, I could tell that the quad Lutz was likely, looking at the base values (and the other competitors). I would realise much later (around December) that the (sad) reason for the inclusion of 4Lz was really unfair score inflation with the other competitors…

Twitter freaked out about some things that happened during the shows, including cat ears and Pooh headbands. The Twitter friends that I was beginning to make indulged in memes, and I tried my best to brush up on my knowledge of figure skating.

In August we heard about the return of Seimei for Yuzuru. Fans and observers had been going crazy with attempting to predict his programs, and what I gained from this was that I could distinguish the fans who were able to predict correctly - which meant, in my mind, that these are the fans who have been following Yuzuru’s journey (and interviews) and who could truly understand Yuzuru’s thought process.

He also told journalists that his jump layout was without 4Lz, that there will be one more quad and one less 3A. I think even a newbie fan like me treated that news with distrust - less 3A??? Are you sure the one who said it was Yuzuru Hanyu, the king of Axels???

Seeing Jody attend a figure skating competition in Hong Kong made me feel like doing the same, so very soon, at the end of August, I decided to go to Italy to watch Lombardia Trophy in mid-September. I decided on this particular competition, not because Yuzuru was there, but because it was the only competition that I could attend throughout. So I spent €€€ and 4 days freezing my butt off in a rink.

I did not regret it - I saw Wakaba skate her new free skate to Skyfall. At her opening pose in the practice run-through, it was love at first sight. Other notable skaters for me: Carolina had a queenly presence both on and off-ice, and Shoma had great speed but his free skate costume was too sparkly (but it looked great on photos).

After coming back from Italy, I decided that I wanted to attend another competition as soon as possible - preferably a competition which would allow me to see more high-level skaters compared to the small competition in Italy. So I picked the Grand Prix event in France - even though it had no Yuzuru or Wakaba in it.

A week after Lombardia, it was Autumn Classic International, the ‘B’ competition that will start off Yuzuru’s season. He (or his team) then revealed he was not going to do the 4Lz because of knee pain - which meant that, yes, the quad Lutz was there all along, he just didn’t want to tell us in August. (A few months later, with the reveal of more footage, I saw some people speculating that during the media day at the Cricket Club, the media likely saw the actual layout with a 4Lz and two 3As.) Because of the same knee pain he wasn’t going to do 4Lo either... And in his short program, with a downgraded layout by substituting 4Lo with 4S, he broke another record. Wow. The emotion I felt was just - joy tinged with disbelief.

I made a decision for some time already that I was not going to go to Moscow, because of the extra complication in trying to get the visa as well as the much higher cost of travel. But Rostelecom Cup - where both Yuzuru and Wakaba were competing - was The Competition that both of my absolute favourites were competing at, so I live-streamed as many as possible during school. Yuzuru’s first GP was always terrible compared to the rest of the season (even if it wasn’t Skate *Chanada*), but he scored the highest among previous seasons’ first GP personal scores! MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE LANDED THE QUAD LUTZ - HIS LEGS FOUGHT SO HARD TO SAVE THAT LANDING, AND IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL JUMP NEVERTHELESS.

Jody went to Cup of China and saw some skaters I would have LOVED to see - Wakaba (again, obviously), Mai, and pairs Sui/Han. Wakaba was PERFECT at the Cup of China - not that she wasn’t perfect at Lombardia - she settled into her new programs much more compared to 1.5 months before.

Then came NHK Trophy. Yuzuru injured his right ankle on an awkward fall from a 4Lz attempt. He tried so hard to compete but he wasn’t able to. So, no NHK Trophy for him, no Grand Prix Final for him. As a fan, I feel really sad that we wouldn’t be able to see his wonderful skating during this period, but MORE IMPORTANTLY, this is the Olympics season and injuries are NOT GOOD AT ALL.

With that disheartened mood, I went to GP France (its name keeps changing in recent years, so everyone kind of gave up on giving it a new acronym) in mid-November, only attending the free skates and exhibition (Saturday and Sunday). I met a fellow Wakaba fan (recent Twitter mutual), Verit, there. Unexpected podium placements in the Ladies led to the two of us agonising over Wakaba’s chances of getting into the Grand Prix Final. I loved Misha’s skating, even though he wasn’t the fastest skater, or a quad jumper. Papadakis/Cizeron was sublime too.

Then, Skate America, the last Grand Prix event before the Final, came. Ashley withdrew due to foot injury (it sounded like an injury easy to recover from, compared to ligament/whatever), and Polina was underscored, and Satoko skated her way to the top of the podium. With that, Wakaba’s in the Final. (Later, Evgenia, who is Wakaba’s best friend, withdrew due to an injury that left her in a cast, and Satoko was in the Final as well.)

At the Final, Wakaba performed… poorly, compared to the other Ladies. Her short program was fine, but her free skate faltered - she popped two triple jumps into doubles. And that’s how it is in the Ladies field now - you need to be perfect to be on the podium.

Then came a bit of rest, when there were no important competitions, before the Two Most Important National Championships That Are Almost Always Held During Christmas Weekends.

My Christmas was bad (I don’t really celebrate it but I treat it as an excuse for food and wine and partying and playing). First, Yuzuru did The Thing where he announced one week before that he just started skating and there was still a bit of pain - the knowledgeable fans could tell straight-away that it was a really long, drawn-out announcement that he would be withdrawing from the Japanese Nationals. Fine, so he officially announced his withdrawal the Monday/Tuesday of the week of the Nationals. His fans (including me) got worried about him not having a competition at all before Pyeongchang - even though there is Four Continents, the time (last week of January, basically 2-3 weeks before the actual competition dates at Pyeongchang) and place (Taiwan) of the competition was not ideal, compared to his current location of training (Toronto: far, and a very different timezone).

Wakaba skated in pain at Nationals - it turned out that she got injured shortly before her short program (but I don’t know how much before, whether the pain was there at GPF), and she ended up in 4th place. The JSF decided to send Satoko and Kaori to Pyeongchang instead, and Wakaba might have tweeted incredibly brave words about aiming for Beijing 2022, but she was crying after the exhibition on Monday.

I spent my Christmas crying, if you can’t tell already. Wakaba’s programs for this season ARE SUPERB, and they won’t be seeing the Olympics… (I’m going to cry again typing this.)

The JSF decided to send her to the World Championships in March though, where she would be fighting alongside Satoko to earn Japanese ladies 3 spots again to the next World Championships (which will be in Japan!). They would have to earn a combined placement of 13 or less, and I’m worried about burnout for Satoko and underscoring for Wakaba. I already got tickets to Milan to see the Ladies FS (as well as Men FS, and exhibition), so I’m glad JSF at least decided to send her to a competition I already decided to attend.

For the Russian Nationals, Evgenia withdrew - from what I hear on Twitter, she was so headstrong about competing at Nationals that the Federation had to send 3 men to persuade her to stay and recover and not to go. They are sending her to European Championships, which will be held in Moscow (so, good for her). The Russian team for Pyeongchang will be decided officially after Europeans. She hasn’t lost a competition in two years so her chances are good.

Yuzuru’s next competition will most likely be the team event in Pyeongchang, which will be 9th February for SP or 12th for FS (Korean time, which is a day ahead for the most of us). Hopefully he will be able to calibrate his training based on his performance in the team event, and perform satisfactorily in the actual Moment. I am hoping he will do the FS while Shoma the SP for team event. Wakaba’s next international competition will be in Milan late March, but I don’t know if she will be going to any regional competitions within Japan (likely not). Hopefully she will be able to recover quickly and prove herself to JSF.

For the new year, I am hoping for The Gold for Yuzuru. I celebrate the Lunar New Year (but it isn’t a work/school holiday in this part of the world), and I will be spending it on watching the Men’s individual competition in unholy hours of the day (damn the US for that time schedule even if the competition is in Korea).

Of course, I wish for the most important thing - good health for Yuzuru. If I’m allowed to be greedy, also: that he will choose to compete for at least another season, and land the quad Axel.

#personal #theseventhmarch #figure skating #reflection

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