#so i just use all of them just in case

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

#fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #fandom things #tumblr things #i may have said this at some point #i'm sure i have #but whatever - just in case #i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics #but just if anyone is so inclined that's all #ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog #i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting #but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen #not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy #at least of fics bc i save everything #not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about #that i've made or done and only posted here #anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today #i have plans to stare into the void now

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[buttercupshands]

can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big

and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today

#sketch #my art #bnha #shigaraki tomura #tenko shimura #all for one #midoriya izuku #bnha manga spoilers #only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode #also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11 #I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh #fanart #I've kind of recovered from recent chapters #and I was analysing those chapters all morning #I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good #also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410 #and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad #but still AFO was never hiding it enough #from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out #in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters #I waited long enough #and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting #since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants #Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236 #and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO #in any case it was a hard week #also the second thing actually had them holding hands #and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no' #and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed #in any case that scene.

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

#vashwood #trigun #trigun maximum #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #Theyre both thoroughly exhausted tired individuals -- vash having to fight this lonely battle for over a hundred years and getting dragged #back into inevitable situation with knives after a 2 years hiatus of being a gunslinger. they both need so much Rest and comfort in this #department... .SIGHS. BUT I JUST THINK ABOUT WOLFWOOD . AND HOW... LITTLE He has existed on no man's land. how majority of his years being #alive is being used as a weapon and to kill when him at his very core is the most giving and selfless individual ever #badlands rumble inspired me a bit but i do think wolfwood gets dragged into occasional tasks from the eye of michael while on his duty of #guiding vash -- or i think that one chapter where we got to see other members of eom -- there's like a clear division within the eom too #i think.... so i figured similarly to vash but not to the same amount -- there are people that look for wolfwood too. but most of the time #it's probably wolfwood that has to look for someone else and take them out. i feel like it happens ever so occasionally. #evidentially these two don't talk enough canonically but they always know how to express things properly to affirm that they're okay #they have the worst time ever sharing burdens - can't willingly burden the other and has neeever asked for help or reprieve in their #desperate situations... vw is a huge case of right person wrong time syndrome so they just. in the time they get to spend together -- even #if romantically - they don't have enough time to heal to get over that kind of hurdle. They've just never asked for help in all the years #they've been alive -- they don't even know how to and its just aughhhsgskg #and well! they don't even need to ask! because they'll be there for each other anyway at the end of the day -- company and presence alone. #ruporas art

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #like... anxiety and depression are often concieved of as simple and easy to manage... #...but that isn't the case for so many of us. anxiety and depression just have a lot more research invested into them... #...and while i wish this were the case for literally every other condition it does alter people's perception of you to some extent... #...so while this is NOT solely about anxiety or depression it includes us... #...my anxiety and depression and PTSD have *destroyed* my life. this is chronic and will probably be life-long... #...and that isn't my fault. i've done the fucking work but guess what? that doesn't account for the fact that I Am Just ILL #the least we can do for each other is to be compassionate #be compassionate to those who cannot heal. be compassionate to the people who can't manage their lives. this world is scary enough #recognize that management of symptoms is something not all of us can do - even IF their condition is labeled as 'easy to manage' #i allowed myself to feel angry that i can't heal 'normally' and that was unfair as fuck toward myself #and i NEED people to internalize this so that MAYBE this could help somebody else who is where i was #i NEED them to understand that it's okay that they are where they are - sometimes shit just doesn't turn out how you expect or want #don't beat yourself over you being a person. you are struggling enough. you deserve to rest. just rest please #and just... give yourself space

[miwtual]

im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them) #we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op' #reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

[turtleblogatlast]

Something I love about Leo is that, canonically, he IS capable of cooking, he’s just completely incapable of using a toaster. He’s banned from the kitchen not out of an inability to make edible food, but because being within six feet of a toaster causes the poor appliance to spontaneously combust.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #all Leos mortal enemy: toasters #side note but thinking about this aspect of Leo’s character really has me wanting to make a deeper dive into Leo as a Jack of All Trades #because he has aspects of this all throughout the series #where he can do many things he’s just not the best at it #like he can cook but he’s no Mikey #he can - canonically - rewire an *AI PROGRAM* but it goes very wrong #he can lift both Mikey and Raph simultaneously but he struggles to do so where his other brothers don’t even break a sweat #bro is a Jack of All Trades Master of None frfr #and Leo is even more interesting with this in mind because he uses what he CAN do so well #it’s like how he can see his family’s strengths and weaknesses and knows exactly how they work #his skill set is made way better simply by his personal USE of those skills not by the skills themselves #portals and teleportation are only op if you know how to weaponize them #given time he ABSOLUTELY could #okay I shut up now this was supposed to be about toasters #but yeah all the boys have a bunch of skills under their belts outside the typical ones #but Leo stands out to me for having skills his other brothers have but to a much lesser degree in a lot of cases #and he works with what he has so well that that is a skill in itself

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

The Babel Incident

Phantom doesn't make talk to anyone when he joins the Leauge. They may try to make small talk and learn more about their new teammate, even going as far to to invite him to the occasional gathering or socialize, but the newest member simply shows up when there is mandatory meetings, helps out on the field, and leaves as quickly as he arrived.

Keeping everyone at arms length, no matter how they much they try. They can clearly see he's lonely, but he insists they leave him be.

Clark doesn't miss (or like) the way Bruce tries to get more useful information on the newbie in roundabout like asking other Leauge members for anything. It wasn't until the usually straight faced Phantom got angry at Bruce to vanish to get away from their leader. It irked the Dark Knight to not have any useful information, even when Martian ManHunter told him no to reading his mind, but Bruce will keep trying to get something out of Phantom.

Little do they know that the reason why Phantom doesn't speak or socialize with anyone has to do with the fact that Batman uses mere conversations to formulate his contingency plans to put down his colleagues, something they don't know about yet. The Last Universe he visited had its Batman getting his plans stolen by a villian and had gotten the entirety of the Leauge killed.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #danny phantom #justice league #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #I like to think Danny purposely slit his own throat to make a good excuse as to not talk to anyone. #It's healed and he can talk just fine but the Leauge doesn't need to know that #so if they ask he just shows them and rolls his eyes #I think if the villian is successful in stealing the plans Danny is gonna use his duplicates to save them #He knows why Bruce did that but the Bat should've told them he had contingency plans just in case #Danny will be petty and tell him his contingency plans for his kids was successful in another universe to spite him #If Batman say's “you're all damn fools” Danny's going to grab him by his scruff and give him to Fright Knight

[egophiliac]

i don't think u need to worry about poppy ikemen anymore, new ride kamens character is kr kamui who is our lord and savior dan kuroto

DAN THE DANGEROUS ZOMBIE MAN!!!!!! I was SO excited when I saw the reveal, he is absolutely the funniest possible character choice hands-down. oh my god. I'm so glad he made it into this game.

also Kamui just looks incredible. instant favorite. this is the kind of man I can picture standing naked on a cliffside and screaming at everyone about his imminent ascension towards godhood. he is the incarnation of that one iconic Gina Linetti scene.

#art #ride kamens #AND he's apparently frenemies with araki which is maybe the best character combination i've ever heard of #i bet they each think of the other as being their sidekick #this game just keeps looking better and better #i was wrong about mad guys being the tough boys though whoops #this just makes me more obsessed with whoever's coming tonight though WHAT'S HIS DEAL GONNA BE #god. cannot overstate how happy i am to see shin neo kuroto #and not just genm but dangerous zombie specifically! my favorite! #dangerous zombie is one of my favorite suit designs of all time so i'm just pleased as punch to see it included #(i never did get used to the ex-aid eyes but he makes them work) #i do wonder if we're gonna get to see some of the other related characters too. kinda twst-style. #in which case is ikemen poppy something we still have to think about or...

[varyathevillain]

no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.

I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.

#that's my personal opinion and i just thought about how understanding more about physical disabilities #and how to help people with those aids in case something happens and they ask for help #has furthered my understanding and might even help me in the future if i were ever to experience that #Buddy Daddies Spoilers #Buddy Daddies #Suwa Rei #(again. i want to write Kurusu Rei SO BAD) #text post #Varya rambles #also drawing an orthosis would be real complicated for an animated work so i understand why they chose to hide the arm #but i really like the headcanon of Rei using it sparingly 🥺 not everyone uses them all the time #+ it's also not healthy if worn all the time. looking @ people who'd let their characters sleep with their prostheis on. smh #and this is also NOT a 'you HAVE to do this'! just something I think would be fantastic #...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?! #here's a hoping 🙏buddy daddies such a good anime. not perfect not extremely beautiful. but GOOD in HEART #1k

[chirpsythismorning]

Thinking about the what if El was never interested in Mike romantically, she just assumed she was discourse on the tag today and how it's very possible what could make El fully realize this, is when in s5 she see's Will's love for Mike in real time, for the first time, and she's just like damn! That is not me!

#byler #no but arguably that already happened.. #remember that! you're the heart #el listening: you're the what now?? im sorry but that's corny as hell. could not be me! #i feel like this could be how el confronts will in s5 about lying to mike #i think it's interesting they had that talk with will and el about her lying to him with will calling her out #if to not circle back to it in some way for her to be like hypocrite much? #tho i doubt that's how it would happen #i have a feeling el is going to understand in will's case in contrast to her and mike's argument #like will and el are siblings so yeah they fight #but i just get the feeling she's going to sense something is up with them (already does) #and something big will happen and i feel like she's going to see the truth before they're able to #and i think will is probably going to realize last because he really does not think it could ever happen now #and also because of el i think will would feel like its wrong unless he was confident she would be okay with it #so i could totally see will not allowing himself to be happy in that sense even if he realized mike could return his feelings #but by then mike's already made his peace with el and they're good #UGHHGHHG s5 arrive now! #no but isn't it kind of side eye that they've never shown us el be confronted with mike and wills friendship at all? #like in s1 and s3 at the end Mike mentions will in his plans with el #and that's about where it ends #we have not seen her exposed to their dynamic and like reacting to it before #UNTIL THE END OF S4!!!

[trafficshippingtournament]

WELCOME, TO THE TRAFFIC SHIPPING TOURNAMENT OF 2023!!!

Where 32 trafficblr ships will be going against each other to find out who comes out on top, so vote for your favourites!!!

The 32 ships chosen for this bracket are the current ships with most fics on 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series fandom on ao3

All of the ships were arranged randomly for the bracket

Every round of polls will last a week

Finally and most importantly, be kind to each other. This is just a silly tournament

Tags for easy navigation:

The actual match polls -> Polls

The propaganda made by people with hopes to sway your votes! You can support your ships with your own propaganda by sending this blog an ask with the link to the propaganda post you want to be reblogged! -> Tournament Propaganda

Fun stats about the polls for those who enjoy them! -> Tournament Stats

The tournament is over and our winner is GemPearl!!!

#trafficshipping #traffic shipping #trafficblr #I don't know if this needs to be said but: All of these ships are of the fictional characters not CCs #Another thing that I don't know if needs to be said is: Do NOT tag CCs about the polls. Your purpose does not matter. don't bother them #If a CC finds this on their own and wants to engage with it that's fine they can do what they want #Not that I think this tournament will get big enough for that to happen anyway but I am simply prewarning just in case #This is just a silly tournament about block people ships I've decided to make so we can all have some fun as a fandom #So just remember to be nice to other people and their ships. If you see one you don't like simply root for your own ship harder #Also if you do not like this blog or tournament simply blocking this blog will be better for us all

[vaimetanyx]

Oh how wonderful, how terrifying, to be loved to destruction

The full quote can be found here

#my art #mdzs #the untamed #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #mdzs spoilers #comic #implied suicide #just in the quote tho #hi I feel a normal amount about these two #in fact I feel a normal amount about all 3 yunmeng siblings and how much they loved each other and how it destroyed them #it has me crying screaming throwing up etc #fanart #because I've figured out the reason I don't do fanart is because I worry about inaccuracies #and also because I'm incapable of being chill about it #case and point: I have more mdzs fanart in the works. its a major arcana tarot decj with the full 22 cards + 4 alternates #and I'm just being so normal about it #please ignore all my many perspective crimes and my badly planned buildings no I did not use references this was meant to be a quick comic

[bigkickguy]

daanmarcoh doodle - they're sleeping in shifts and keeping watch

#daanmarcoh #daarcoh #kickdraw #funger #i just wanted to draw them and try to punch through artblock ! #as soon as i have the energy to actually render something and draw a background its so over #the eternal struggle of 'do i use daan's portrait or map sprite for hair color' #really just wanted to draw daan with marcoh's jacket #thought to myself yesterday - 'idk why they aren't as popular' so figured i'd throw some art into the mix again #such good fanfiction coming out for them too #I really want to get back into a drawing stride for them :') #the shirt grab is to make sure he's still there watching - if marcoh turns around or leaves daan would feel it #i feel like they're walking a weird line in my mind #they just met and in some cases all they have is each other - but they dont really know each other in any way #they just have to trust the stranger who didn't kill them immediately won't be worse than the fucked up monsters around them

[plaid-maniac]

Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #Phoenix Wright #not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it #the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama #and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’ #but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly #cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do #course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch #together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good #what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and- #-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward- #-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’ #god what would happen and Edgeworth v state? #the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’ #and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation??? #‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to- #-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’

[uncanny-tranny]

Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.

I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.

He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.

I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.

When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ally advice #transphobia #transphobia tw #i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically... #...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation #i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now #but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in #in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better? #and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly #and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person #i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken #some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions #and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had... #...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that #i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that