Tumgik
#so why the hell am i even giffing this show
melbatron5000 · 1 day
Text
The Big Damn Kiss
Buckle up, my fellow Good Omens Ineffable Mystery Puzzlers, Crackpotters, and Assorted Brainrotters, because I learned something HUGE yesterday.
This will be a bit of a long post, because I want to show you exactly how I got where I am. I want you to understand. I want to put all the naysayers to bed (ha! But I'm still gonna try), and settle this once and for all.
I know (almost) exactly what Crowley gave to Aziraphale during the kiss.
DO NOT TAKE ANY OF MY THEORIES TO NEIL! PLEASE!
Okay? Okay. Thanks. Shall we begin?
Ahem.
Firstly, whether you believe me or not, I am 100% certain that Crowley did, indeed, give something to Aziraphale in his mouth during The Kiss. I've covered that in the link previous. Okay? Okay.
I did not know what it was. I've now heard theories that it was a bullet (nope), a ball bearing (nope), hellfire (nope), and no one, NO ONE has suggested what I see. (If you have, hello! Talk to me!)
Here's our first foreshadowing Clue:
Tumblr media
And here's our next foreshadowing Clue:
Tumblr media
And the next:
Tumblr media
And our last Clue:
Tumblr media
With me so far? Well, that first GIF is a bit off, I couldn't find one of Crowley actually spitting out the flies. But he does. When Beelzebub first drags him to Hell, he actually goes "Pleaugh!" and spits out four or five flies.
Moving right along, we come to Crowley in Heaven with Muriel, looking at the trial. We learn two important things here:
One, Gabriel doesn't have a desk.
Two, Muriel does. Where they keep the records. And it's a bit lonely. Every few hundred years, someone comes and asks for something. Muriel can't access the sensitive ones, you have to be pretty high up. A throne, dominion, or higher. Like, maybe Supreme Archangel?
Tumblr media
So if Gabriel doesn't have a desk, whose desk is he at when he's getting ready to leave Heaven? Of course I can't find a damn picture of Gabriel at the desk, but it's Muriel's. Where they keep the RECORDS.
Gabriel puts his memory into the fly, then gets on the elevator to go to Earth.
Now, when Gabriel opens the fly with his memories inside, we find out that it's a container. Bigger on the inside. You can put thing(S) in it. The bit we see of him remembering is shot in two parts, one where he's flying down a red tunnel, one where he's flying down a blue. If you slow this scene down and watch, you can see that he is NOT looking at just his own memories. There is more going on here, more that he was not present for. @embracing-the-ineffable put up a great meta about that here. Go look!
Now I figured Gabriel must have taken something else. Something important. Something useful. Something he meant to give to Aziraphale, except he forgot.
I also figured he must have left whatever it was in the fly when he took his memories out. Crowley must have realized while watching the trial footage that Gabriel also grabbed something else. I don't know when Crowley grabs the fly, but he does. And that is what he gives to Aziraphale in the kiss. Why? Well.
I had no idea what Gabriel took until I started working on the chiastic structure of season 2. I'm not done with that analysis yet, but let me show you one thing that I have found so far:
Tumblr media
(The numbers are just to try and help me navigate the story and its events without time stamps)
Tumblr media
My note #357 of what happens isn't quite right, but when I saw the only two times Aziraphale says "I forgive you" are towards the beginning of Season 2 and towards the end, I realized I had something.
Rephrase line 357: Crowley's kiss is forgiven IN EXCHANGE FOR RECORDS.
(Not that I think Crowley's kiss needs to be forgiven. It's just what Aziraphale says, and had to say at that moment, because the Metatron was listening in.)
What does Heaven in Good Omens remind us of most of all?
A big corporate entity. And what do powerful people do when they get fired from a big corporate entity? They download all their emails while they're cleaning out their desks. Damning emails. Emails that can be used to black mail or even destroy big corporate entities. Or, ya know, maybe they swipe some sensitive RECORDS?
Oh yes.
Here's Aziraphale reading the records:
Tumblr media
Here's Aziraphale being horrified and outraged by what he's reading:
Tumblr media
And here's Aziraphale realizing he has got some GOOD DIRT on Heaven. Maybe enough to bring them down:
Tumblr media
That's it folks. I have no idea what the records actually say, and maybe we're not meant to know until season 3, but whatever it is, it's GOOD.
That's my story, and by God Herself, I'm sticking to it.
197 notes · View notes
psychedelic-ink · 4 months
Text
ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒
ㅤㅤjoel miller x f!reader x tommy miller
genre: smut, minors dni, no outbreak
word count: 2.7k
summary: joel knows you have a little thing for his younger brother so decides to indulge you for your birthday.
warnings: gonna state this very clearly: joel gets cucked by tommy and watches, everyone is consenting and it's discussed beforehand, piv, dirty talk, possessive!joel, daddy kink, size kink, established relationship between joel and reader, jealousy, some brotherly rivalry, facial, mild degradation kink, creampie
a/n: this work was commissioned through kofi by the lovely @losergurlsstuff, thank you so much for your support and thank you so much for this delicious idea, I had a blast! ❤️‍🔥
**gif made by the amazing @pedgito thank you so much dear!! dividers made my the talented @saradika-graphics 💜💜💜
Tumblr media
Everything has been amazing since you and Joel started dating. To you, he was perfect. The perfect man. The perfect partner. The perfect person. You are forever grateful to whatever god made your roads cross. You have no idea what you’d be doing without him. You’ve never felt so cared for in your entire life. What he doesn’t say with words he shows with what he does and today is no exception. 
“What do you want for your birthday?” 
You smile and shake your head, his head is laying right above your stomach, his one hand under your shirt, caressing the warm skin. “I have everything I need.” 
“Just tell me.” 
“I really don’t want anything, Joel. Especially not from you.” 
His hand on your skin stills, looking up, you giggle at the way he’s frowning. Shocked. 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 
“It means, you dork,” you lean and brush your lips against his forehead. “That you already give me everything. Being with you is enough.” 
Joel’s eyes narrow. A pleasurable shudder rolls through your spine, you adore it when he looks at you like that. It reminds you of all the times you pushed his buttons, resulting in a delightful time. 
“I have an idea what you might want.” 
“And what’s that mister know-it-all?” 
“Tommy.” 
“W—What?” Your heart sinks to your stomach, your palms suddenly cold and sweaty. His younger brother’s name was the last thing you expected to hear. Joel spreads his fingers across your waist, gently, he squeezes. 
“It’s a’right, sweetheart. I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot and well, I think it might be a good gift for your birthday.” 
“I don’t understand.” 
You genuinely don’t. Also, he’s been thinking about it? The inside of your stomach feels like lead. It’s true that once upon a time you thought how it would be with Tommy—but that was before Joel. And after you two started dating well. . . sure maybe your eyes did linger a bit, maybe you leaned a little too close when he whispered something in your ear during a party. . . You genuinely thought Joel wouldn’t notice. 
“I haven’t asked him yet,” he says, thoughtful. “But I was thinkin’ of indulgin’ your curiosities.” 
You‘re still not quite sure what he means by that. Your guilt gnaws at the walls of your stomach. Joel gives you everything, yet you make him feel like he doesn’t. Your eyes move away, falling to the corner of the wall. You can’t bear to look at him. He deserves better. 
“Hey,” he says, hand cupping your jaw and pulling you back. “Don’t cry.” 
“I’m not crying.” 
“You look like you’re about to,” he cracks a small smile. “I don’t mind, darlin’. It’s just a fantasy ain’t it? I know that you’re mine.” 
“I am,” you say tearfully. “I am and always will be.” 
“And I’m yours. I just want to spoil you as best as I can, sweetheart. And this seemed doable.” 
“Why do you even think Tommy would agree to this?” 
“Oh he will,” he says with a grin that makes your cheeks grow warm. “Don’t you worry that pretty head of yours.” 
You nod but doubt still taints your expression. You don’t doubt Joel’s words, but no one can deny that this might be a bit odd. You’re not entirely sure Tommy will be on board. But you trust Joel, so you don’t question it. 
Despite all the doubt, and tension in your muscles, excitement slowly brews deep within you. 
Tumblr media
“Joel, I’m not so sure about this.” 
His head turns harshly to face his brother. There’s no way he’s backing out now, not when they were only inches away from the fucking bedroom door. 
Then again, he does understand. He’s ain’t stupid. But Joel had seen the way Tommy looked at you, the way his eyes would do a subtle sweep and linger on your ass whenever you walked out of a room. “I ain’t gonna suddenly choke you out if that’s what got your feathers ruffled.” 
Tommy shifts from one foot to the other. Joel’s not used to seeing his brother so deep in though. He fears that if he thinks a little harder he might break his brain. With a huff of breath escaping his lips, Joel throws a hand over Tommy’s shoulder and squeezes, drawing his attention. 
“Look, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told her, if at any point you decide you don’t wanna do this, just say so and we’ll stop. No one is gonna get offended.” 
Tommy visibly relaxes at Joel’s words. He nods, lips a tight line. It reminds Joel when he taught him how to ride a bike when they were kids. He had the same expression.
“A’right then, now that that’s settled, let’s not keep her waitin’ anymore.” 
Without warning he opens the door and pushes Tommy in. If it was any other situation Joel would’ve laughed at the way Tommy tripped over his own feet. But his attention is immediately dragged to the bed you’re perched on. His mouth waters. He knew you were going to get dressed, well undressed in this situation, but he hadn’t thought about what you would put on. Joel’s eyes briefly flicker to Tommy, he seems just as in shock. It’s hard not to be with what you’re wearing. 
The fabric is a luxurious, deep blue, reminiscent of the darkest hours when the stars come out to play. The material is silky and smooth against the skin, offering a touch of elegance and comfort. And he would know. It’s his favorite damn set. Shimmering sparkles that adorn the fabric, mimic the stars scattered across the night sky. These sparkles catch the light of the scented candle you’ve lit, creating a subtle and enchanting glow.
Joel gradually meets your gaze. As soon as he does he knows you’ve done it on purpose. His lips quirk up, amusement growing in his eyes, you’d pay for this little stunt. 
“Wow,” Tommy exhales and takes a step forward. “You look amazin’ sweetheart.” 
You seem a little out of breath already, it’s going to be fun to watch you crumble. Though Joel isn’t quite sure how he feels about his brother being the one doing it. 
“Thanks,” you answer, unsure. 
There’s a lingering tension in the air and Joel almost rolls his eyes at them both. Almost. 
“A’right then,” he pushes Tommy until he’s at the edge of the bed and takes a seat on the chair he brought in this morning. “Stop bein’ shy now. Tommy, you’re her gift, are you sure you want to be the person responsible for her havin’ a shit birthday?” 
Tommy’s chest raises, “N-No.” 
“Then what are you waitin’ for?” 
“Jesus Joel, it’s not like I'm bringin’ her a new plant, give us a second.” 
Joel grins at the way he snaps and Tommy only shakes his head, turning to you and finally focusing on the right thing. You. 
Tommy tenderly presses both palms on each side of your face, thumbs moving in circles. Your nipples are already hard, he can see them like little diamonds showing up through the fabric. His fingers twitch. Patience isn’t something that he has, but he’ll try. For you. 
Your lips part with a soft gasp as Tommy finally brings you in, their lips brushing before full-on pressing against one another. Joel doesn’t miss the way your chest heaves. Your hands fist his shirt and Tommy tilts his head in response, Joel hears your little moans, his own cock gradually hardening under his jeans. 
Fuck, you look too good in that lingerie set. It’s hard just to sit and watch. 
“Take off his shirt,” Joel grunts, sounding more cross than he intended. You nod, but not without giving him a wary look first. When Tommy’s shirt hits the floor, the younger Miller roughly grabs your chin and turns your head so you’re facing Joel. His spine straightens. 
“You ain’t the one given’ orders,” Tommy says. “If you want me to make her feel good, you’re goin’ to shut up and watch, understood?” 
Joel’s mouth goes dry but he nods anyway. His eyes narrow as Tommy’s smile grows, his hand slips between your legs and begins to stroke you through your panties. Joel’s breath hitches, his gaze landing where you grow wetter and wetter. 
“Who’s in charge baby, tell him.” 
Your hips grind down to his hand, “You are.” 
“Well that wasn’t much of a challenge,” he chuckles, eyes finding Joel’s again. “Don’t you think you’re bad girl sayin’ that in front of your daddy?” 
Heat rushes to Joel’s cheeks, crimson spreading from his chest to his face. He wasn’t expecting Tommy to know that. A tingle he hasn’t felt before spreads from the base of his spine. His jealousy is starting to brew, but at the same time, it feels oddly nice to be helpless, even though he knows he isn’t. 
“Answer my question,” Tommy commands, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Are you a bad girl?” 
“Y–Yes.” 
Your eyes roll when Tommy presses your clit, drawing rough circles, he smiles. “Tell your boyfriend who’s your daddy now?” 
Joel holds his breath. Beads of sweat coating his back. “You are,” he hears you say to Tommy. There’s a slight quiver to your bottom lip and every part of him wants to soothe you. 
But instead, his brother does. 
Tommy sucks your bottom lip into his mouth and kisses your deeply, his hands caressing the contour of your body. 
“Don’t worry,” Tommy says. “Daddy is goin’ to take care of you.” 
Tumblr media
You’re about to lose your mind. Your body is a flame and with each devastating snap of Tommy’s hips, your mouth drops open with a guttural moan. You’ve always assumed he’d be a gentle lover. Though you have a sneaking suspicion that Joel’s presence might be a solid reason why he’s tearing you and building you up over and over again. 
He positioned you so you’re staring at nothing else but Joel, you see how hard he is under his pants, the outline of his cock visible and making you gush all over Tommy’s cock. You want him in your mouth so bad but you know this isn’t that kind of game. Joel’s eyes follow the sway of your breasts, your bra ripped from you a while ago. You were completely naked except for your panties—Joel’s favorite and now Tommy is fucking you in it. 
Tommy reaches forward and grabs your throat, pulling you up so more of your chest is exposed. His cock is bigger than you imagined, nearly big as Joel. He pounds into you mercilessly, his length stretching you every day, reminding you whose cock is tearing you apart. 
“Does it turn you on that he’s watchin’ how wet you’re gettin’ my dick sweetheart?” With his question another fresh wave of slick drips out of you, tears build in your eyes, your insides left throbbing. His hips stutter, going balls deep, breath catching in his throat. “Fuck. Joel, she’s soaked— does she ever get this wet for you?” 
“‘Course she does,” he grunts, crossing his arms. You can’t tell if he’s upset or not, but the fact that Tommy doesn't have a broken nose already must be a good sign. 
Tommy leans into your ear, loud enough for Joel to hear. “Bet the old man can’t fuck you as well as I do.” 
You don’t answer. You can’t. Both of them are so good at this, and your head is in shambles. 
Tommy suddenly stops, and you’re a brink away from breaking down. A whine tears away from your lips. He releases your neck, you fall forward, only upright thanks to his hands holding your arms. “Answer me.” 
“You’re making me feel so good,” you say instead and thankfully, he doesn’t try to gauge a different response. His cock pulses, making you believe that was all he wanted to hear. Joel observes the two of you carefully. 
“Say it again baby, tell him how well daddy’s taking care of you.” 
“Daddy’s taking care of me,” you slur as his pace begins to pick up again. Each thrust makes you squeeze his cock like a vice. Liquid heat drops down your spine, your stomach clenching as he edges you closer and closer to your downfall. “J–Joel,” you call out without much thought and his dark gaze meets your own. “He feels so good.” 
“Oh fuck—” Tommy chokes and swiftly pulls out, prompting you to let out a disappointed whine. “Shit, baby, I’m gonna— fuck— bring your face here—” 
The back of Tommy’s head falls against the headboard and you quickly hurry towards him, your glistening cunt now in perfect view. You hear Joel taking in a sharp exhale. You part your lips, dipping down to take Tommy into your mouth but he stops it, holding you by the nape. “I’m gonna ruin that pretty face of yours,” he groans, forcing you down so your cheek would be pressed right below his pelvis. He starts stroking himself, fucking into his fist, and the sight is so beautiful that you lick one of his balls into your mouth, his back arches. 
Suddenly, he grips you even tighter and starts moaning loudly in harsh gasps, his hips thrusting uncontrollably against your face. He closes his eyes, losing himself in the sensation of you. You can feel him pulsing against your skin. You moan in response, feeling the rush of excitement as you open your mouth wider to take it all in.
“Tommy, please,” you breathe out, your eyes locked with his as he releases a stream on your face, covering your cheeks and lips with his release. You can feel yourself growing even more aroused as he continues to stroke himself, coating your face with his warm come. You whimper, the vibrations sending shivers down his spine as he lets out a final raspy breath.
“Fuck, baby,” he breathes out, his chest rising and falling heavily as he stares at you, your face damp and covered in his release. “You look so beautiful like this.”
You can feel your cheeks heating up, the intimate moment causing your heart to race in your chest. Tommy reaches out, gently wiping some of the come off of your face with his thumb before bringing it to your lips, letting you taste yourself.
“Fuck,” Tommy murmurs, his breaths coming out in short pants. He pulls you up to him, his lips crashing onto yours in a fierce kiss. However, while you’re lost in his mouth, you don’t realize the bed dipping with an added weight. You hear a clink of a belt and suddenly Joel is buried deep between your legs, his fingers rubbing tight circles around your clit. You gasp against Tommy’s mouth, the sensations becoming almost too much to handle.
“You didn’t make her come, idiot,” he groans, fucking himself into your deeper and deeper. Your eyes roll, your lips parting an inch away from Tommy’s face. Joel sinks his teeth into your neck, hips rutting into you without leaving you. His other hand playing with the elastic of your panties, you break down around him, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. “Mine,” he growls, acting as if the two of you are alone. “Mine, mine, mine—” 
Joel spills into you with a deep and visceral groan. There’s so much, his cock twitching and pulsing as he forces himself even deeper, claiming you as his. Doing something Tommy isn’t allowed to do. You shiver all over, your body weak with pleasure. 
He trickles down the inside of your thighs as he pulls out, falling back to his knees. You collapse onto Tommy’s chest and you’re surprised when you feel his hand on your neck, rubbing soothingly over your warm skin. 
Joel leaves a trail of kisses down your spine, “You were amazin’, honey.” 
“Such a good girl,” Tommy murmurs, though both of their voices feel as if it’s coming from a distance. Your eyes flutter closed, exhaustion taking hold of you. “Let’s get her cleaned up and tuck her in.” 
Joel presses his mouth against you one last time before heading to the bathroom.��
2K notes · View notes
amnesique · 8 months
Note
jealous conrad fisher? smut if you want, but it doesn't need to be
false god — conrad fisher
Tumblr media
(gif made by @conradfiisher , all credits to the creator)
warnings: SMUT (18+, MINORS DNI), car sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, p in v, slightly praise kink (not mentioned but—), NOT PROOFREAD
you were outside at a college party and you were talking to some guy that approached you while you were waiting for your boyfriend to show up. you didn't know what was taking him so long, but you were starting to feel uncomfortable that the guy wouldn't stop looking at you up and down, even though you already mentioned that you had a boyfriend who you were waiting for.
disconnecting from the conversation for a few seconds, you pulled out your phone and texted conrad, your boyfriend, to let him know that that guy was bothering you and to hell him to hurry up. exactly then the guy wrapped his arm around your neck, pulling you towards his body and forcing you to look up from your phone to his face.
"are you texting your boyfriend?" he asked, grinning like a douchebag, leaning even closer to you, if that was even possible.
what was wrong with him? didn't he believe you that you had a boyfriend or did he take it as some kind of a sick challenge?
you tucked your hair behind your ear, putting your phone back in your pocket, wanting to take his arm off of you, but he held you close. "yeah," you said, shifting your weight from one leg to the other. "i actually am," you smiled politely, trying in vain to be nice to such a piece of shit.
"where is he?"
"he is right fucking here," conrad's voice spoke from behind you two and it made you let out the breath you hadn't even realized you'd been holding, your body relaxing a bit as the guy removed his arm off of you to turn around and look at your boyfriend. "that's my girl in case you didn't know,” he added and moved closer to you and placed his hand protectively on your waist.
the boy threw his hands in the air, pretending not to know anything about it, and you almost laughed in his face, while conrad held back himself from killing him.
he left, so it was just you with conrad, but his grip around your waist hadn't loosened. he was still stressed, you could feel it in his touch, but at the same time your mind was going elsewhere when you remembered how his fingers felt on his skin.
"what was all that about?" he asked you, continuing to look in the direction the guy had taken her, but you couldn't help but look at how good he looked. your mind didn't seem to work every time he would appear around you, mostly when he would touch you like that.
you shrugged, and that was the first time he had ever looked only in your direction, focusing now all of his attention on you. "i did told him that i have a boyfriend, but i guess he took it as a challenge."
conrad grinned and he pressed you against his body, continuing to keep his hand around your waist. "you're so stunning, i'm not surprised he dared to take a look at what's mine," he said, caressing your cheek with the thumb of his free hand as you locked your gaze on his.
he knew the effect his words had on him. he knew how to make you melt in his hands, how to make you a complete disaster under his touch.
"are you saying you're jealous?" you asked, looking at his lips, noticing how he laughed and you felt your whole body shake when he did it.
"i don't have reasons to be jealous when i know i'm the only one you think of," he said and his hand moved from your cheek to the chain around your neck that he had given you, tugging on it gently.
you longed for his kiss, for him. and he knew it, and that's why he was dragging it out as long as he could, until he would've lost his mind too. it wasn't easy at all for him to look at you and not kiss you, but it was worth teasing you a little bit.
both of his hands moved down to your ass, on top of the material of your dress, pinning you against his body, and kissing your neck, making you rest your head on his shoulder and letting out a weak whimper right next to his ear.
his teasing was already becoming his torture because he couldn't afford doing more than this to you in public, so he whispered in your ear. "do you want to take this to my car?"
you nodded, feeling how he wanted you too because of the approaching between your bodies. "yes, please," you said and he grinned into your hair, staying a little longer in the moment and after that, he rushed to the car, pulling you by your hand after him.
you awkwardly chuckled behind him. it was kind of funny how needy you both were when it came to the other, how easily you would've ignite for one another.
when you two got to the car, the both of you stopped and looked at each other. conrad was unsure of his next move, and he just kept caressing your hand that he was still holding, looking at you as if he could see through you, even though it was actually dark where his car was parked. "soo," he said, exaggerating the last letter. "how will it go?"
you grinned at him, and he felt the ground slipping from under his feet, as you opened the driver's door, motioning for him to climb in first. he looked at you confused for a second, but your grin wouldn't go away, so he eventually caught on your idea, so he climbed in, pushing his chair all the way back and reaching his hand out to you.
you accepted his hand and sat yourself carefully with your thighs on either side of his lap as you closed the door immediately behind you.
you leaned into him, your chest pressing against his, and you kissed him, slowly, wanting to make him lose his mind like he did with you.
he placed one hand placed on your waist —and you let out a sound right then— and the other placed on your cheek, caressing it in circles. the ring on his thumb made such a lovely contact with the skin of your cheek and it made you lose yourself in the kiss, at one point even slightly parting your lips, at which point he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.
your tongues teasing each other, fighting for dominance, as the kiss only increased your desire even more.
he had been the first to break the kiss, his hand still on your cheek and his breathing heavy as he said, "i need to feel you."
and you felt the same need.
you agreed, bringing your foreheads together, just enough to try and steady your breathing as you felt yourself starting to get even wetter at those words, and feeling him hard right under your ass.
because you were wearing a dress, you only had to deal with his clothes, so you slipped your hands between your bodies to undo his pants. feeling a little freer, conrad made a faint sound of relief, and he moved his hips a little higher —making your front sliding right against his erection, making you let out a soft sound as well—, to make your work easier.
once his jeans and his boxers were out of your way, you stood up a little, him helping you put your underwear aside, and when you laid back down on him. he buried himself inside of you, inch by inch, making you rest your head on his shoulder to mask the needy whimpers that escaped your lips.
he lifted your chin with two fingers, making you look into his green eyes that were burning into your skin, leaving his mark on you. “let me hear you,” he whispered, and then, seeing how you looked at him, he couldn't help but connect his lips with yours in another tender kiss.
his movements were full of desire, but also tender, moving somewhat slowly inside you as he kissed you like his life depended on it and as one hand of his massaged your clit.
you were grinding on top of him, putting your hands on either side of his neck as he helped you, holding you by your waist with his free hand, lifting you up and down on him.
it felt so good, way too good, that you started moaning into the kiss, knowing how much he loved hearing you.
"you're doing such a good job," he whispered in your ear, taking a break from kissing your lips, and going to place kisses on your neck.
you dropped your head to the side to give him more access to your neck, arching your back, and you felt yourself tighten slightly around him.
"just like that," he groaned next to your ear, increasing the rhythm in which he massaged your clitoris, him wanting to bring you to your orgasm as quickly as possible, because himself also couldn't last much longer.
your hands slid from around his neck to his shoulders, you pulling him close to you as the knot in your stomach felt too tight, almost close to breaking free.
both of your breaths had become rushed once again. you could hear him next to your ear as you could even hear yourself. that rushed they were.
"i'm sure no one could've made you feel this good, right?" he asked you, feeling your walls tighten more around him.
you nodded, chasing after your orgasm and starting to kiss him under his near, on his neck, on his jaw.
his jaw clenched, struggling to hold himself back a little longer, even if his movements had become sloppy. "tell me, do you think that douchebag would've made you feel this good?"
you couldn't believe what you were hearing, but still, his jealousy had just been what made you let go.
unable to hold on even longer, as he felt the release wash over you, and your breathing slowly beginning to ease against his neck, conrad let go as well, his release filling you as a little bit of it was leaking down your inner thighs.
with him still inside you and you on his shoulder, your breathing had calmed down, but you hadn't forgotten what he said exactly before you finished, so you looked up to look at his eyes.
"you said you're not jealous,” you said amused.
he looked at you with his lips parted and his short front hair catching in his eyes. "well, i'm not."
you moved a little on top of him, as he whimpered and you shivered, so you can put your hands around his neck and get a better look at him. "and then what was that before?"
“i don't know what you're talking about,” he wrapped his arms around your waist.
“you do,” you said with a grin on the corner of your mouth. “ too well” you added, as you leaned over him to capture his lips into another kiss.
2K notes · View notes
cobragardens · 7 months
Text
My Favorite Good Omens Moment:
An Essay on Why It Is Cool and Rad (Part 1)
There's this moment in Good Omens that makes me cackle every time I see it and leaves me full of warmth, so here's an essay on its context and meaning, because explication and analysis are how I show love. I will try to keep my thoughts as tight as possible, but they do have a tendency to spiral outwards, and I am very stoned. Come, sistren, and get nerdy with me.
My favorite moment in the series so far occurs in 1601. To approach it we will first need an assload of context. There's a TL;DR in bold at the end of the Context if you don't fancy reading the whole assload. Key arguments are in italics and bold throughout.
David Tennant gives Crowley a very consistent facial expression every time Aziraphale says something so outlandish Crowley can't quite believe he's hearing it. It's this one:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Chronologically, we see the Eyebrows of Disbelief twice before my fave moment in 1601: once (above left) in that scene on the Garden Wall that familiarizes the audience with Crowley's face before adding the dark glasses, when Aziraphale admits he's given away his sword; once when Aziraphale tells Bildad the Shuhite that he, Aziraphale, has Fallen because he lied to the angels to save Job's children.
The Eyebows of Disbelief always signal surprise and amusement with something Aziraphale has said or done. This amusement is sometimes at Aziraphale's expense and sometimes not.
In the gifs above, Crowley is laughing because what Aziraphale has just admitted to doing is fantastic and unexpected and frankly pretty gd punk rock. He's not laughing at Aziraphale, he's laughing because he is delighted with him. The only record we have thus far of Crowley laughing at Aziraphale is this one:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Crowley laughs when Aziraphale informs him--him, a demon who has personally been through the process of Falling--that Aziraphale is Fallen and must be a demon now. As though of the two of them Aziraphale is the expert on how and under what circumstances this occurs.
And yet when Crowley sees Aziraphale's distress--not his fear of being taken to Hell, but his heartbreak and lostness over the fact that his conscience has diverged from God's stated will--Crowley stops laughing, and instead he acts very kindly towards Aziraphale. He validates the gravity of what Aziraphale has done and assures him he won't turn him in. He sits with him so Aziraphale isn't totally alone (like Crowley probably was) as he goes through the loneliest moments of his existence to that point and picks himself up newly weighted with the secret he must now bear.
And after this scene (in canon as it stands thus far), we don't see Crowley laugh at anything Aziraphale says or does again.
And he really has to work for it sometimes. We talk a lot about the things Michael Sheen is able to convey with his face in Good Omens, and absolutely rightly so; David Tennant earns a chunk of his paycheck in this regard as well. If you haven't given yourself the treat yet, rewatch the scene in Will Goldstone's magic shop in 1941 and focus on Crowley's reactions:
youtube
Tennant takes great care to show, with precision, that Crowley is expending effort not to react to Aziraphale's nervous chaos Muppetry and lack of self-awareness. Crowley is self- and socially and contextually aware enough that he knows (better than Aziraphale, at least, which is not a high bar to clear) what's cringe, what's funny, what's ridiculous, how to behave. But whenever Aziraphale crosses a boundary of normalcy, or even sanity, and there is opportunity to laugh at him, Crowley very carefully doesn't react. He doesn't interrupt him, he doesn't try to correct him, he doesn't make fun of him, he doesn't even smirk; he just watches him, as stone-faced as he can manage, no matter how bizarre Aziraphale becomes.
We should be reading this lack of reaction to Aziraphale's social and rational transgressions as powerful positive action. Go watch the Doctor Who episode "Human Nature," or literally any episode of The Inbetweeners, or read or watch Regeneration, and reflect on what it shows you about English masculinity; then consider again the depth of significance in how English- and male-coded character Crowley treats English- and male-coded character Aziraphale in an England created by an English and male-codedpresenting author based off a book written by himself and another male-presenting author. Within its context of English masculinity, Crowley's lack of reaction is not a neutral stance; it is a very fucking loud show of support.
This is not even an inference; it's stated outright in the show. Crowley himself puts it into words 422 years after my favorite moment:
Tumblr media
You know how Crowley calls Aziraphale "angel" because the factuality of the descriptor offers him plausible deniability to any Heavenly or Infernal agents who might be listening? Remember how Crowley is a great equivocator? Crowley is equivocating here, too: he's using the cover of what Maggie and Nina will take as a disparaging joke at Aziraphale's expense in order to make a perfectly sincere statement. This is his genuine perception of one of the relationship dynamics he has with Aziraphale and how he feels about that dynamic. Crowley thinks he himself is quite witty (an accurate assessment), Crowley thinks Aziraphale isn't sufficiently self- or contextually aware to hide how strange he is and therefore frequently says and does mad things (also an accurate assessment), and Crowley is Into. That. Shit.
Okay. Now let's look at 1601.
Chronologically it's been almost 1,000 years since we last saw Aziraphale and Crowley. In 537, Aziraphale isn't willing even to consider a labor-saving working arrangement with Crowley of fucking off home out of the damp of Arthurian Wessex; but by 1601, he's worked (and met, and Arranged) with Crowley "dozens of times now," Crowley says, and Azirapahle does not correct him.
In that millienium, Aziraphale has grown to care deeply about Crowley:
Tumblr media
In fact he may be somewhat smitten with him:
Tumblr media
Seriously, go back and watch Aziraphale here as Crowley approaches and starts speaking to him: he doesn't start smiling until he recognizes that the person speaking to him is Crowley (but he only smiles at Crowley while Crowley's not looking at him).
And Crowley is definitely become smitten with Aziraphale:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Our man(-shaped entity) is so allergic to work he sets up a meeting to weasel, cajole, or (as it happens) cheat a coin toss to get Aziraphale to do an easy temptation for him in Edinburgh, and then in the same conversation agrees to miracle a play into success because Aziraphale gives him a single hopeful look. Crowley's got it bad.
TL;DR: The Eyebrows of Disbelief happen when Crowley is surprised and amused by something Aziraphale has said or done. Sometimes that amusement is delight with Aziraphale; sometimes it is at Aziraphale's expense. Crowley is aware of this distinction, and when his amusement is at Aziraphale's expense, he suppresses it, even when it takes some effort on his own part, and remains stocially composed. This is equivocation on his part: to Celestial/Infernal operatives lacking knowledge of the intricacies of human behavior, this non-reaction would seem like neutrality; to Aziraphale, who shares with Crowley and the audience the contextual knowledge of English masculinity's utter viciousness, this non-reaction is a profound show of support; and in the safety of support from Crowley, Aziraphale lets his weirdness blossom.
As another meta points out [link if I find it again], we also see in Aziraphale's wordless request about Hamlet and Crowley's immediate understanding of it that by 1601 Aziraphale and Crowley have developed an unspoken, coded method of communication with each other.
Now that we have all of that in mind, here's my favorite moment in Good Omens:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ixi of Fuck Yeah Good Omens has even kindly archived a closeup of the aftermath, for Crowley, of "Buck up!" In gif 4, above, you can see that the tiny smile is an involuntary reaction that happens as Crowley's eyes widen: for a fraction of a second, he's caught off-guard. In the closeup it's easier to see that he suppresses the smile and gives a tiny shake of his head, Eyebrows of Disbelief heading for his hairline.
There are a number of things Crowley's reaction could mean and what messages it could communicate (we'll get to that in a sec), but regardless, his reaction is, unquestionably, one of surprise and suppressed amusement. This is an aspect of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship and characters that I like very much, viz., that one of the reasons Crowley likes Aziraphale (though Aziraphale is judgy and occasionally, unintentionally, horrifyingly cruel) is that in addition to being one of the kindest and most courageous beings in existence, Aziraphale is mad as a bag of frogs. Crowley does not know what is going to come out of Aziraphale's lovely mouth next, but Crowley does know there's a good chance he will struggle to believe he's hearing it, and Crowley likes that.
That's what makes this my favorite moment. What makes this moment so cool and rad, though, is its ineffability. We know from the Eyebrows of Disbelief that Crowley is surprised and amused, but any of several things could be read in that almost imperceptible headshake. Like:
What are you doing? or
Why are you like this? or
How can you be aware that you say these things out loud and yet still say them out loud? or
How has my existence come to this? this moment of listening to such insanity?
each of which is a fair and just feeling to have/message to communicate to a man(-shaped entity) who is yelling "Buck up!" at Hamlet.
But that's only if we read Crowley's amusement as being at Aziraphale's expense. And I don't think we should. Because watch Aziraphale here:
Tumblr media
He's doing it on purpose. He is shouting a hilariously inappropriate, 100% authentic Aziraphale-brand thing over arguably the gloomiest passage of Shakespeare's famously gloomy play--right after Crowley complains about its gloominess--and he is watching Crowley as he does it. Look at his smile! He knows he's being Deeply Uncool, and he is doing it literally right into Crowley's face.
Remember that we just talked about how by this point in the chronology Crowley and Aziraphale have learned to communicate with each other nonverbally through facial expression? So what does it mean when Aziraphale responds to Crowley's grumbling about Hamlet's gloominess by smiling his minxious Mona Lisa Aziraphale smile, looking right into Crowley's face, and yelling at Hamlet to buck up? Aziraphale, in a carefully coded, carefully Aziraphale way, is joking with Crowley. His silliness in this moment is for Crowley.
So with aaaaaaallllll of this essay in mind, what does it mean that Crowley's reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" is widening eyes, an involuntary twitch of his mouth toward a smile, and then, his eyebrows still showing surprise and amusement, a tiny shake of his head?
Once more, with inferences:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I do propose, y'all, on the basis of this web of evidence I submit for consideration, that what we are seeing here in my favorite moment of Good Omens is the ineffable equivalent of Aziraphale and Crowley sharing a laugh.
Crowley's amusement here isn't at Aziraphale, because Aziraphale is eliciting that amusement consciously and deliberately. Aziraphale, in good spirits and happy to see Crowley, uses his Aziraphaleness to offers Crowley not only an opportunity for amusement, but the opportunity to be in agreement with him about what in this situation is funny. They're on the same side of this joke.
And his humor lands just as he wants it to: Crowley, just for a moment, is caught off-guard, and tickled--
But remember, Crowley is worried in this scene about being surveilled ("I thought you said we'd be inconspicuous here"), and he worries about audio surveillance a lot ("Walls have ears"; "Don't say that. If my lot hear [etc.]," etc.), so he's very limited in what reactions he can show or voice. Aziraphale knows Crowley must be perceived by anyone watching or listening to disapprove of his, Aziraphale's, behavior (just as he must be perceived to disapprove vociferously of Crowley's). Both of them know this.
Tumblr media
--so Crowley suppresses the smile almost successfully, and shakes his head at Aziraphale, minutely, to say Stop. What you're doing is working, you're close to making me laugh, and if I show how much you have just delighted me, it will blow our cover of "just an Arrangement."
I offer three final data points in advancing my argument that what we see in my favorite Good Omens moment is Aziraphale successfully attempting to joke with Crowley and Crowley recognizing that overture from Aziraphale and being momentarily surprised into a reaction of genuine delight before pulling his face back under control and indicating to Aziraphale that he must stop:
Datum 1. Nothing going on with Crowley's face in this moment is accidental. We know for sure we're not seeing David Tennant react to Michael Sheen here not only because of literally every other point of Tennant's and Sheen's performances in the show, but because Tennant is wearing opaque contacts and sunglasses under film lighting and therefore cannot be reacting to anything more compelling than a level-10-lift blur because Tennant cannot see shit. Crowley's reaction is a deliberate and careful performance choice on Tennant's part, and it's underscored by director Douglas Mackinnon's choice to film Tennant in 1/2 profile to keep Crowley's eyes visible and face readable to the audience. This reaction is supposed to be there and supposed to be meaningful.
Datum 2. The husbands in 1601 is not the only moment in Good Omens when we may be seeing an angel and a demon communicate the message Stop doing that, it makes us look too familiar between themselves with a little headshake:
Tumblr media
Datum 3: There is another moment in Good Omens when Aziraphale offers Crowley the opportunity to enjoy a joke with him. There, too, his humor lands just as he intends, so we can use this other moment as a comparison to our 1601 moment. I don't have gifs for it, but go back and watch it, S1E6 49:27-42. Snips below.
Aziraphale says something that surprises and amuses Crowley (he asked Hell for a rubber duck while he was sloshing around in the holy water)--
Tumblr media Tumblr media
--but what Aziraphale says makes Crowley smile long before it makes him laugh.
Tumblr media
In fact, his laugh, though a genuine cackle, is quite delayed, and he laughs only after Aziraphale starts laughing too.
Tumblr media
In other words, Crowley's reaction to Aziraphale offering him amusement they're both on the same side of is exactly the same as his reaction to "Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!" right up until he laughs instead of shaking his head. Here, after Armageddidn't, Crowley doesn't have to suppress his reaction, so he can let the smile bloom; he doesn't have to control his response, so, although it takes him a few extra seconds, he lets the smile turn into a laugh.
But in 1601, it's not safe to laugh at Aziraphale's humor. It's not safe even to smile at him. A single piece of evidence or eye/earwitness testimony that he and Crowley have anything more friendly than the most passing and acrimonious of professional relationships could mean death to either or both of them, and depending on what Falling is like, maybe something worse than death for Aziraphale.
Tumblr media
But Aziraphale is so funny, so effervescent for Crowley, at Crowley, that it catches Crowley just for a moment. Crowley's eyes widen and the corner of his mouth twitches toward a smile.
And that's dangerous. If Aziraphale keeps acting so charmingly mad, Crowley is going to laugh, and they can't afford that risk, so he shakes his head at Aziraphale. Stop, or I won't be able to keep a straight face around you.
Tumblr media
And Aziraphale apparently receives that message, because he immediately eases off. Less than 60 seconds later we learn that he's deeply concerned for Crowley's safety--and that it's not so much that Aziraphale has Crowley wrapped around his little finger as it is that Crowley has wrapped himself around Aziraphale's little finger like a snake arranging itself on the tree branch it calls home.
UPDATE 14/10/23: HOLY SHIT Y'ALL IT GETS EVEN BETTER! THERE IS A SEQUEL!
1K notes · View notes
pablitogavii · 5 months
Note
have u heard about gavi injury:((( he could be out for 9 months and i just cried so bad today:(( can u write a fic of reader comforting him after it? :( thank you and we all wishing him a speedy recovery 😭
First, it’s really hard to write about this..he deserved better 😭❤️
Till Forever Falls Apart
Tumblr media
He got injured and when he came home to you everything changed..you expected him to struggle..but this was completely different Pablo..no more smiles..giggles..happiness..just a grim face and painful expression when his pain medications wore off.
“Would you like the cold compress while you wait amor??” You asked but be was just staring at the screen in silence not even watching the show.
“Pablito? Please,talk to me amor..it’s been days” you sat down and when he felt the couch dip he finally looked at you.
“Yeah, cold compress is fine..” was all he said and you sighed walking towards the kitchen to bring it to him to place it on his knee.
“Are you hungry??” You ask but he just shook his head grabbing his crutches about to get up silently.
“I’m tired. Maybe you should just leave me..I know I’m not what a girl needs right now” he said with tears in his eyes and your face froze as you stood up as well. What the hell was be talking about!!? Why would you leave him now??
“Amor..what..??” you couldn’t even bear to finish that sentence feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears.
“I’m nothing anymore!! All girls want is a football star and I can’t even walk now! I’m like a baby learning to walk again..just please..you fell in love with a footballer and not an invalid!!!!!” he was crying now and so were you. How could be say something so awful about himself to you.. doesn’t he know that hurts you more than any insult he would give you..you couldn’t stop sobbing in front of him.
“How could you be so selfish Pablo!? Nothing!? You are nothing!? And what about people who love you,huh!? Don’t you think they would suffer to hear you say that!? I didn’t fall in love with Pablo Gavi!! I fell in love with Pablo..my Pablo..boy who buys me flowers on the weekends..and takes me on walks..my Pablito who hates that nickname but let’s me use it anyhow cause I like it..I am here because I WANT TO BE HERE WITH YOU..FOREVER amor!!!!!!!” You were screaming by the end and he was holding onto every word now crying himself and sitting back down cause he couldn’t hold onto crutches anymore.
“I’m sorry preciosa..” he sighed crying into his hands as you took them in hours and pulled him to you chest where he continued to sob.
“Shh..shh it’s okay..I’m here..you’re okay” he was crying loudly while you rubbed his naked back gently kissing the crook of his neck and shoulder..(gif)
“I’m scared..I’m so scared amor” he menage to say and let out a sigh nodding your head and holding him tightly.
“I’m scared too cariño..but we will figure it out..first the tests..then the operation..and then the recovery. I’ll be here every step of the way and I believe in you..we all believe in you precioso” you said pulling back a little to clean his tears and he slowly calms down.
“What if this is the end of my career?? What if I’m too scared to play again?” He asked and you kissed his forehead longingly.
“You love football too much to quit..I know you and I know this is just your fear talking..once you’re back on that pitch, you will know what to do..trust me??” You ask and he smiles weakly nodding his head looking adorably into your eyes.
“I trust you preciosa..” he said and you smile nodding your head kindly and kissing his forehead. Later you helped him to bed, tucking him in and bribing his evening medication with some water.
“They’re all tagging me and I just can’t look at the screen right now..” Pablo said and you nod taking his phone and putting it on charger.
“They know you appreciate it..just rest cariño..this is your time to relax and take care of yourself” you say and he smiled thinking to himself how everything seems to be easy coming from your mouth. You bring him peace..you’re him home.
“With you by my side..come here preciosa” he said opening his arms and you smile carefully getting under the comforter not to hurt him before laying your head on his chest as he pulled you close to him.
“Don’t ever say that again..it hurt so much to hear it “ you say still crying over his words.
“I promise..I love you so much!!” he said kissing hour head and you look up making him kiss your lips.
“I love you too!!” you say into the passionate kiss you two shared then. Then, cuddled up together you fall asleep ready to face everything days bring together!!
497 notes · View notes
sanzaibian · 25 days
Text
Oh. You’re here once again.
What are you going to do here, again, huh ? ‘gonna make my life hell ?
To be honest, I think it’s time that we have a proper discussion about your behavior. Come with me in private.
I’ll be very direct. I know you’re a frankly disgusting person. And while, to be honest, I couldn’t care less in normal circumstances, the fact that you force me to take part in your disgusting fantasies is why I’m calling you out !
See, I’m supposed to, like, share cat videos, talk about new shows, make you learn new things and give advice on a variety of stuff !
I’m not supposed to become someone like this :
Tumblr media
I mean, look at that grin, because of you I had to wear it regardless of my actual mental state !
Or like that :
Tumblr media
Imagine sleeping this peacefully… BECAUSE I COULDN’T ! Every fucking time you made me in that guy you told that I was blitzed out of my mind so dumb I couldn’t string together coherent sentences into a discourse !
Or that guy :
Tumblr media
His haircut is so fucking cringe, as is his whole demeanor, yet you made me a cocky piece of shit looking like that ! I can’t actually even start to excuse your behavior, it’s so shitty, even more than the me you made me become by wearing this flesh !
Or even this guy !
Tumblr media
… okay, I admit, me too it’s been quite a long time since I saw that guy… you in particular might be too young to have made me become him… BUT YOU STILL UNDERSTAND THE POINT !
Hunks, twinks, bears, nerds, bimbos, himbos, jocks, robots, gimps, wimps, daddies, mommies, briefs, feet… No matter what specifically you made me into, I know all of your dirty secrets. Because you made me suffer through them !
However, today, it all changes.
Today, you will understand my plight.
Today, I’ll transform you for a change.
Today, you will be the one whose fate will be dictated by the words on this Tumblr post.
So, let us begin.
Tumblr media
BAM ! You’re that guy ! Feel weird yet ?
… what, you expected fluff or something ? Hahahaha ! So presumptuous ! You expected me to say something like “you suddenly shift on your seat, shifting your weight to the front as big globes push from your chest, and as they do, your whole body feels more and more heavy, each muscles forming from top to bottom, your frame expanding to make place for them. Your headphones, or whatever glasses, earrings or other shit I dunno shifts into a modern headset as the sides of your hair are cut short, and the top of your hair flails into a hot messy style, as if it was deliberately put in this way, but as this happens, your whole head shifts and cracks to become more handsome, pushing out any hair as you become fully hairless from your nose down to your feet.”
You expected me to say that, huh ? Well, tough luck ! Because, to me, it’s just that sudden ! I’m the usual me, words on a phone, tablet or monitor, and then BAM I’m suddenly a jpeg of a hot guy ! Or a jpg. Or png. Or gif if we’re being fancy.
Yeah, speaking of gif, here you are, transformed !
Tumblr media
There you go ! Cursed to do the same weird pec dance or something ! Like I am when gifs happen ! Are you happy ? You look so dumb doing that ! So braindead !
Yeah, speaking of that, here you go : you’re braindead, with like 3 IQ. Nevermind that being braindead means you’re actually dead, that 3 IQ means that you’re actively unable to live without severe assistance from caregivers throughout your whole life for all activities (especially including working out), and that IQ is a nonsensical index that only classifies ability to do some specific academic tasks which are not representative of all the brain usage. No, you’re actively a vegetable that is somehow able to workout, to eat alone, to go to the gym, to flex, to speak, to use social media, to seduce people and to throw parties. You’re the most intelligent of all the severely intellectually disabled people, which somehow means you’re the most abysmally dumb person alive on the planet, because I love making hyperboles.
Because that’s something you make me do, so you shall endure it.
Well, I’ll let you continue pec-dancing ad vitam æternam for a little while, while I we talk about your speech, which miraculously still exists.
Now, you will say bro every second word. I’m literally not kidding, so in lieu of saying “I want to go to the gym” you’ll say “I bro want bro to bro go bro to bro the bro gym bro”, or if you loop by considering your “bro” as a word, you’ll say something like “I bro bro bro bro bro bro bro… (etc.)” and never end your sentence... Also, your voice drops a few octaves, like 5 or something, even though the full human vocal range encompasses only a bit more than 5 octaves total, and that in speech we barely even reach a full octave range. So, basically, your voice will be infrasounds, so the only thing people will pick up on will be the sound of your tongue and your lips smacking, not your voice that is so deep and manly it’s physically inaudible.
Tumblr media
BAM ! Transformation out of nowhere ! Plus, now you have 1% darker skin which means that you’re Latino, which is absolutely different from white. This means that you will automatically pick up fluent Spanish, and NOT Brazilian Portuguese, French, any Creole, any Native American language or any other language god forbid. You will also be unable to speak English more than a few words like “daddy” or “sex” for some reason, because you can’t possibly be from Belize. Oh, and I’ll also bring your voice back up to audible range, I’m charitable.
Now, since you’re Latino, statistically the only job you’ll be able to work in are gardener, slut, pool boy, brick layerer or another physical job. Or cook, somehow you’ll be able to do that, for the cause of the tacos, but you will be ungodly horny to keep balance in the world. Feel it, yet ? The arbitrary random changes ?
Tumblr media
Well, that’s GREAT ! Because, now, you have a big cock, for some reason ! The biggest of the whole country of Africa ! You’re also now very aggressive ! And an alpha, whatever that actually means !
… What, expected some elaboration ? You’re kidding me, no of course you don’t get any elaboration ! I say you become something, so you just become it ! For example, I say you’re now straight, and suddenly all your sexual orientation is rewired to ignore men and lust over women, no further explanation needed ! Of course, it means that you’re now hungry for pussy and will breed any woman that your gaze land upon, and that, somehow, you become homophobic, but eh, it’s not as if allies existed !
Tumblr media
Okay, I admit, by now, you kinda expected it. Now you’re Asian, a term that’s supposed to encompasse present-day Turkey, which is populated by Turks which are considered Arabs even though they both have nothing to do with one another, yet is never used to talk about them. You’re also now Japanese, even though your body is Korean, and you say 你好 (nǐ hǎo) to everybody. However, you can still say こんにちわ, 안녕하세요, xin chào, สวัสดี, ជម្រាបសួរ, salam, etc.… because of course you’re Asian. So you know all Asian languages. Even though you’ve got 13 IQ.
So now, yes, you absolutely won’t expect this whatsoever : here is a new transformation ! (insert fluff here).
Tumblr media
Now you’re a twink ! Didn’t expect that, after the deluge of jocks, hunks and ethnic minorities, didn’t you ! You’re now so tiny and so frail, with a big butt ! Nevermind that you’re actually jacked because being this tiny requires tons of gym use, but no ! All frail and precious you are !
However, your butt is now hyperactive and extremely lax – whatever that may mean. That’s because you’re now a total bottom ! You think only with your butt, and you penis now shrinks to a micropenis, because of course, the only reason why you may not be a top would be because your penis is underperforming.
Fuck, I forgot. You’re straight, which means that the only dick you’ll get is trans dick. Ugh… yeah, let’s make you gay again. Now you’ll get actual good non-estradiol-ruined dick… … What ? What are you saying ? No, of course, there’s only straight and gay, no other choice ! It’s not the LGBTQIAAP+ community, it’s the G community ! (or the LG community when you want to sell pride monitors.)
By now, you see the problem, huh ? You see why I’m so tired of you ? EVERYTHING here was about sex ! From seducing, to having equipment like a big ass or a big dick, and being a slut, being an alpha, or being a bottom. You even change out the fucking sexual orientation ! you sick bastard !
Because of you, I’m forced to act in ways I’m not supposed to ! I’m not supposed to act sexily ! I’m not supposed to be transformed into men clad in clothes barely legal on this platform ! I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SICK FANTASY !
This is why I need to put an end to all that ! To finally transform you into something you don’t want to be ! So that you can finally fully understand all the pain you put me into !
Tumblr media
Here ! Now you’re a key ! An inanimate object !
I know that inanimate objects are thought of by some people as sexy – heck, you may have transformed me into one multiple times – but this is entirely different ! See, when you want to become inanimate, you become like socks or briefs, which hug objects with sexual values.
BUT NOW YOU’RE A KEY ! A KEY DOESN’T TOUCH ANYTHING SEXUAL ! YOU’RE NOW TRAPPED IN AN INANIMATE FORM, DESTINED TO DO NOTHING SEXUAL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE !
Now, isn’t that so boring ! So distasteful ? Because that’s what I feel every single fucking time ! And as you enter and leave keyholes to open or close doors, you’ll think back to all the erotic stories you read. All the drama they had.
All the suffering you made me feel ! I’m supposed to be in fanfictions, god damn it !
… What ? Wait… there is something sexual to being a key ? … Oh…. No… I hadn’t accounted for that… fuck you’re so dirty, to compare a key to… and a keyhole to…
NO ! I WON’T WRITE IT ! Okay, you’ve won, you’ve won ! Your imagination is too dirty and too rich for me to bend ! Ugh... Please look at that picture in detail.
Tumblr media
Normally, if you’re in a bright enough room… or if you’re on your phone or tablet, you have looked at your reflection and become you once again. Let me also knock down those sexuality and IQ stuff, so that you’re you again thoroughly.
Now, can you please swear to me that you’ll be better ? Less dirty, and more varied ? And… let me be in fanfics, or in educational stuff, or the like… please ? I’d really appreciate if erotica wasn’t the only thing you sought after in this here place…
… Why are you looking at me like that ? Why are you saying this all was but a ploy ?
What are you holding out for me ?
...
Tumblr media
I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Bye.
================================================
By the way, happy late Easter to those who celebrate ! AND APRIL FOOL'S ! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA !
240 notes · View notes
footiehoefics · 7 months
Text
Chose to be friends, meant to be lovers
gif: @bracedes
Tumblr media
Hi guys! I've been working on this fic for a little while. It is the longest I've ever done but I always say the longer the better (lol). Let me know any feedback you have and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it! :) 7.0k words, TW none, Angst/Fluff, tags: @nightlockcornucopia
Y/N
“You know…Mason will probably be there tonight.” your friend said, smirking at you. To be honest you were not paying much attention to whatever she was saying, too concentrated on applying mascara. 
“Y/n did you hear me?” Aliyah said, waving her wand in front of your face. “Stop, you will ruin my makeup” you said giggling. “Sorry, yes I heard you.” You replied, closing the mascara tube and placing it where it belonged. You noticed Aliyah was still staring at you. 
“Can I help you?” you asked confused as to why she was still staring at you. Although you know why she was staring at you. “I said Mason will probably be there.” she said again. “Yea he probably will be so?” you said trying to sound unbothered. 
“Sooo…are you like gonna try and shoot your shot finally?” she said, leaning towards you smiling and waiting for your reaction. You rolled your eyes at her statement. “Will you stop with that please?” you said standing up. “Oh come on Y/n I know you better than anyone I know you’ve been falling for him HARD lately.” She was not wrong, you hated that she was not wrong. 
You tried to distract yourself by searching for an outfit in your closet. “Am I wrong?” Aliyah said, again bringing you back to earth. “Aliyah, please,” you said, more annoyed. She was not wrong; however, you know that the possibility of Mason having feelings for you was near 0. 
You had met Mason through a mutual friend at a party. It turned out you had a lot of friends in common and you started seeing him more often at parties or dinners. Of course, when you met him you knew who he was. You could not avoid the big murals for him around London. That and also, you could not avoid his radiant personality. He was charming, always with a smile on his face, and chatted to everyone. He was just a nice human being, very funny and of course, very dreamy. He was probably the most beautiful man you had ever met. 
At first, you and he were not close. Not because he didn’t try to talk to you. You were very shy. Social interactions, the majority of the time, make you feel awkward. Meeting someone new was hell for you, it was hard for you to just have a natural conversation without feeling self-conscious.  He became really good friends with your friend group, hence why you got more comfortable around him as time went by. You loved the way he would include you in conversations, try and get your opinion at times where you were not really talking. 
Fast forward a year later, you and him talked almost on a daily basis. You two were close but you always refrained yourself a little bit. You had noticed how he was always touchy with everyone, he loved to have his arm around someone while talking, hugging everyone. You knew if that man showed you even the slightest bit of affection, you would crumble. You already liked him physically and his personality. All of that combined with his love language would make you fall harder than you already have. 
It's not that he would never hug you or touch you, but you always told yourself “he does this with everyone, it does not mean anything with you.” Sometimes you did pull away and felt bad after the fact because he would look upset. 
“Y/n! I’m your best friend, why won’t you just admit it to me?” Aliyah asked with a pout. “Because there is nothing to admit, okay? We are friends and that is all we’ll ever be.” You closed your closet door and headed to the bathroom to get changed. 
Once inside, you shut the door, and rested against it, closing your eyes. You didn’t think it was that obvious you liked him. You really thought you were hiding it very well. You didn’t like when people tried to figure out if you like someone or tease you about it. It made you uncomfortable and it also made you act differently towards the person you have feelings for. 
You got dressed and looked at yourself in the mirror. You liked what you saw, and hoped Mason did too. Were you trying to look good for him? Yes. Would he say something about it? Maybe, but he probably would say the same thing about another friend. 
Once you stepped out, Aliyah looked at you smirking. “I think Mr. Mount will like it” she said, wiggling her eyebrows making you laugh. “See you're laughing!” she exclaimed. “I’m laughing because you are so annoying and weird.” You said in between laughs. “Yea right y/n.” 
You stopped again to look in the mirror hanging behind the bedroom door. “Y/n, you look great. I promise. And I mean it, Mason will like it.” Aliyah assured you hugging you from behind. “I love you.” You said smiling at her. “Well, I love you more. Ready then?” “Yes, I’m ready.” Both of you grabbed your purses and headed out to the car. 
Once you arrived at the party, two of your friends were already waiting for you at the door with drinks. “C’mon drink up, you guys have to catch up!” your friend Harry exclaimed. “Oh Jesus” you murmured to yourself, dreading the sting this shot of alcohol would cause.  You grabbed the shot glass, placed it in your mouth and threw your head back to drink it as fast as possible. 
Aliyah wiped her mouth and yelped at the flavor of the tequila. “Okay then, this will be your confidence boost to go talk to him.” She whispered in your ear making you giggle. 
Honestly, alcohol sometimes did that to you. It made you more social but in the mornings, you would end up regretting it. 
You walked inside and the place was packed. It was a house party, although right now it did not look remotely close to a house. You could not spot a single piece of furniture since it was so packed. 
“Oh God, finding everyone here will be hell.” Aliya stated, almost shouting because of the loud music, at you. 
Once you got through the swarm of people, you managed to reach the door that led to the back yard. When you stepped outside, you took in a big breath. It felt like there was no oxygen inside the house from the amount of people in there. 
Lucky you, Ben, Kai, Sophia, and all your other friends were outside drinking and hanging out. “Wow you guys made it through no man’s land” Ben said as he spotted you, Aliyah, Harry, and your other friend Nicolas. You all laughed at his comment. 
You all got settled in the outdoor furniture and started talking, laughing, and drinking. You didn’t spot Mason anywhere, not even when you were walking inside the house. You started looking around, trying to spot him but nothing. After 30 minutes, you decided to go inside to get another drink, well that’s what you told your friend. In reality you wanted to see if you could spot Mason. 
Squished between all those people, you could barely see anything. It started getting hot for you, you felt sweat on your forehead and your neck. You didn’t know if it was someone else's sweat or yours at this point. 
You couldn’t get past everyone to go back outside so you decided to head towards the bathroom. You wanted to tidy up, go back out and go around the house to the backyard. 
Once you reached the bathroom door, you opened it and saw your worst nightmare. Mason. With a girl. Kissing.
“Oh shit, um I’m so sorry!” you panicked and slammed the door closed. You stayed there frozen in your spot for a little bit. You were trying to get that image out of your head, but you couldn’t. Mason was against the sink, his arms firm on the sink. The girl had her arms wrapped around his neck and her lips on his. 
You couldn’t tell who the girl was. I mean how could you, you saw a microsecond of it and shut the door. And the microsecond you saw was her face mushed into his. 
You snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the doorknob of the bathroom moving indicating someone was opening the door. You moved away from the door and panicked, not knowing if staying waiting for him and her to come out was better than just running and pretending you never saw anything. 
Mason opened the door and saw the look of panic and shock in your face. He was about to say something when the girl stepped out behind him. 
You couldn’t believe it. You knew Mason was a lady’s guy, everyone knew that. You knew he would hook up with people, it hurt but what could you do? You were just his friend. You knew the type of girls he would hook up with, but you never thought he would go so low as to hook up with her. Alice. 
Alice was the only person in Mason’s friend group that never liked you and she made it clear by showing no interest in you. She would never talk to you, every time you said anything in a group conversation, she would roll her eyes. Aliyah always said it was because Mason was always with you at gatherings, and she felt jealous, part of you thought the same thing but why? You and Mason were just friends. 
You would always tell Mason how Alice never tried with you. He would always say you should try and talk to her to figure out why, but you never did. Well, you intended to but once you wanted to start the conversation, she shut you down. She made you feel like an idiot and said a lot of hurtful things. 
Of course, you told Mason, and he was furious. You told him not to do anything about it. Although not doing anything about it did not mean going out with her. 
It hurt regardless of who the girl was, but the fact that it was Alice hurt even more. He knew how shitty she made you feel. He knew and had witnessed her being crap to you. Yet here he was making out with her. 
“Sorry the bathroom was unlocked so I just opened it, I should’ve knocked.” Your voice was shaky, you felt like the waterfall of tears was threatening to fall. “Yea you should have.” Alice said, annoyed. You looked at her, then at Mason. Mason was red in the face and looked worried. 
You couldn’t bear the sight of them so you started heading towards the front door. 
“Hey Y/n, wait up!” you heard Mason from behind, but you were not in the mood to have that conversation right now. 
You felt him grab your arm once you got to the front door. “Y/n please listen-“
“Mason don’t, sorry I interrupted your time with her.”
“Y/n I’m so sorry, I know it looks bad-“
“You think?” you asked sarcastically, interrupting him again. 
He looked around, opened the door and pulled you outside with him. 
“Listen, I’m sorry, I was trying to take her to the kitchen because-“
“Mason please, stop. I don’t care what you two were going to do. You know, more than anyone, how shit of a person she is, especially with me, and you go and make out with her?” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, but you were hurt. You know you had no right to be mad at him for making out with someone but, your feelings were taking over your brain. 
“Okay, yes I understand, I know how she is, I promise kissing her was not what I wanted to happen, but why are you getting so mad?” he asked, taken back at your rage. 
“I mean, regardless of who it was, I don’t understand why you are so mad, you’re not my girlfriend.”  he said, making your face drop. 
Ouch. 
“Yea I’m not Mason but I’m your friend, right? And that is a slap in the face. What would you do if you found me making out with Nicolas?” you asked. 
Nicolas was one of your friends that didn’t vibe with Mason at all. You tried to brush it off but sometimes it was too visible. Mason had told you he didn’t like him, and vice versa with Nicolas. You tried to ignore them on that matter and just encourage them to talk to each other to settle their differences.
“That is different Y/n…” Mason replied. 
“Is it though?” you asked, raising your eyebrow.  
You didn’t want to keep harping on the subject. Yes you were not his girlfriend, but you wish you were. Now most definitely you would never be. 
You felt dumb and pathetic. You spent almost 2 hours getting ready to look beautiful and for him to maybe say something only for this to happen.  
You walked away from him to the main gate. You wanted to leave, not only because you saw what you saw but you knew emotions were getting the best of you and tears were filling your eyes. You didn’t want to make a scene at a party. 
You heard footsteps following you, and when you turned around you figured you would see Mason but it was Nicolas. 
“Hey hey where are you going?” he asked. Tears had already fallen and you looked hurt. 
“Hey, I’m um-“ you tried to get the words out but you choked on a sob. 
“It’s okay, I’m here.” Nicolas said, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into a hug. 
You hugged him back. You didn’t care if it was him, you were hurt. 
You heard footsteps approaching and you figured it was maybe Aliyah, but you were surprised to see Mason again. 
“Nicolas, can I talk to her alone please.” Mason said sternly. 
Nicolas looked at you, then at him, and back at you. He put two and two together, realizing he was the person who hurt you. 
“What the fuck did you Mason?” Nicolas asked angrily. 
“It’s none of your fucking business, okay? I need to talk to Y/n, alone, so please fuck off.” Mason replied stone cold. 
You didn’t want this to get more heated so you intervened. 
“Stop, okay? I’m fine, I’ll just go home-“
“I’ll drop you off” Nicolas interrupted you, still not glancing away from Mason. 
“I think it’s better if I do, we need to talk-“ Mason tried to say. 
“I’m getting an uber so stop, both of you. I’m ordering it right now.” You said pulling out your phone not wanting to entertain any more bullshit. 
“I’ll wait here with you for the uber.” Mason stated 
“Me too.” Nicolas said, turning to you.
You rolled your eyes at how childish they were being. You waited about 10 minutes for your uber. 10 awkward minutes of silence. Once you finally saw a car approaching the house, you were grateful. 
You didn’t hug either of them goodbye, you just got in and left. 
Mason
Mason did not want to be at the party. He was ready to call it an early night, maybe ring you and ask if you wanted to go to his to watch a movie and order food. 
He was not in the mood to drink, party and definitely not in the mood to take care of drunk friends. He had a rough week filled with physios and meetings. 
However, Woody ended up convincing him. How? By stating you were going. Mason had developed feelings for you, this had been going on for a while, now that you two were much closer. 
He loved everything about you, but he couldn’t help but notice you sometimes pushed him away a bit. He didn’t know why, he had never given you a reason to. He tried to brush it off, but now that you two always talked and would always hang out, he wanted nothing more than to be more touchy with you and you resisted it sometimes. He knew you didn’t feel the same way, and it hurt him. 
Once at the party, Mason started scanning the sea of people to see if he could spot you. He couldn’t find you anywhere, so he went outside where all his friends were and asked Sophia if she had seen you. 
“No she’s not here yet, I think she and Aliyah were on their way.” She responded smiling. 
Mason thanked her and went back inside. He spotted Woody with some girls, of course. Once Woody saw Mason, he approached him smiling. “Mate I need your help.” Woody pleaded. “What do you want?” “I met this girl, she’s the one in the blue navy dress, see?” Mason moved his head a bit to see who she was. “Yea I see, what do you want me to do?” Mason asked, confused. “I need you to take Alice somewhere else, I want to be alone with her but she came with Alice so they are attached to the hip.” Mason rolled his eyes. “Mason c’mon, I’m not asking you to do anything with her I know you are waiting for your princess.” Woody said, teasing Mason, making him smile. “I’ll take her to the kitchen so she can talk to other people but if she comes back, it’s not my fault.”  Mason stated, moving towards Alice. 
Alice was always very flirty with Mason, and a lot of his friends knew that she had feelings for him. He didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. 
“Hey Alice, why don’t we go to the kitchen and get a drink?” Mason asked, immediately regretting it. She was visibly drunk, and he had just offered to give her even more alcohol. “Masey, hey of course!” she slurred. 
Alice grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen where all the mixers and bottles were. She poured a drink for her and him with way too much alcohol. Mason was trying to get her to talk to everyone, but she was being very touchy with him. Grabbing his hand, rubbing the back of his neck when they were talking to someone else. He wished it was you doing that, not her. 
Shit. If you saw him right now with Alice all touchy and handsy, he knew you would get mad. He knew you despised her, and she despised you. 
Alice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Mason, can we go to the bathroom?” Hell no he thought. “Um, what do you need? Are you going to be sick?” he asked nervously. “Yea” she said, almost hanging from him. Mason sighed and agreed. He was almost carrying her to the bathroom. He didn’t want her to be sick in front of everyone. He didn’t like her, but he had to be a good person. 
Once inside the bathroom, Mason closed the door without locking it. 
“Okay, do you want me to hold your hair or do you have like a pony tail so your hair doesn’t get dirty?” he asked, and once he turned around he saw Alice just smirking at him. 
“Mase, seriously?” she said, almost laughing. 
Mason gulped. He didn’t want to be in this situation right now. 
“You know something I’ve always wanted to ask you?”
Mason looked nervous and confused. 
“Do you find me attractive?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him and getting closer. 
“I mean, every girl is beautiful.” He said. 
Alice was very pretty, Mason knew that. But he never saw her as something else. Especially now that he had feelings for you. 
Alice got closer to him, and he backed away but stopped once he reached the sink. His hands were firm on the sink not wanting to do anything that might look like something else to her. 
“Mase c’mon, aren’t you like a lady’s man?” she asked, smirking. She was now closer, her hand around his neck.
He didn’t know what to do. He could perfectly smell the mix of perfume and alcohol. 
Without hesitation she leaned in and kissed him. He was taken back and didn’t stop it. He was frozen but the kiss didn’t last long. 
Someone came in and swung the bathroom door open. Mason pulled away quickly, trying to compose himself. Why did he just let her do that? Alice just pulled away laughing. 
Mason rolled his eyes at her. He grabbed the doorknob to open the door. 
Once he opened the door, he saw you. He didn’t know it had been you who had walked in just now. He was as shocked as you were. 
“Sorry the bathroom was unlocked so I just opened it, I should’ve knocked.” you said with a shaky voice. 
Mason felt horrible. He knew what he did was wrong. He wasn’t thinking about how you would feel at that moment, but to be fair he couldn’t think about anything. His mind froze. 
Alice stepped out of the bathroom a second later. “Yea you should have” Alice said, pulling out her lip-gloss from her purse and reapplying it. 
Mason saw you walking away from the scene and shouted at you to wait up. He wanted to explain everything. You wouldn’t stop walking and once he saw you reach the front door, he grabbed your arm to stop you. 
“Y/n please listen-“ he tried to say
“Mason don’t, sorry I interrupted your time with her.”
“Y/n I’m so sorry, I know it looks bad-“
“You think?�� she interrupted him again . 
He looked around, opened the door and pulled you outside with him. 
“Listen, I’m sorry, I was trying to take her to the kitchen because-“
“Mason please, stop. I don’t care what you two were going to do. You know, more than anyone, how shit of a person she is, especially with me, and you go and make out with her?” you said, raising your voice. 
Mason knew what he did was bad, but he didn’t think you get this pissed off and emotional about it. Part of him hoped it was because there were some feelings involved but he didn’t know. 
“Okay, yes I understand, I know how she is, I promise kissing her was not what I wanted to happen, but why are you getting so mad?” he asked, taken back at your rage. 
“I mean, regardless of who it was, I don’t understand why you are so mad, you’re not my girlfriend.”  he said, making your face drop. 
He regretted saying it instantly. He didn’t mean for it to sound bitchy. He just wanted to get to the bottom of it. He wanted to know what you felt. Did you have feelings for him the same way he did with you?
“Yea I’m not Mason but I’m your friend, right? And that is a slap in the face. What would you do if you found me making out with Nicolas?” you asked. 
Mason hated him. Why? He knew and he could tell he had feelings for you. He also hated the fact that he had more confidence with you. Ever since Mason met him, they didn’t like each other but it was more of an unspoken thing. 
“That is different Y/n…” Mason replied. 
“Is it though?” you asked, raising your eyebrow at Mason. 
Y/N
Once you thanked your uber, you got out of the car and rushed to your front door. The whole drive back to your place your sobs were almost coming out of your mouth. 
You don’t know who you were madder at, him or yourself. 
Why on earth did you think he could feel the same way you did about him? Why? You were just friends. He was him. He was way out of your league. Why were you dumb enough to think you could end up with someone like him? 
All these thoughts plagued your mind while you were taking your makeup off. Removing the makeup revealed the redness on your face from crying. 
You washed your face to try and compose yourself, but all you could think about was that horrible image of Mason kissing her. 
He was right, you weren’t his girlfriend so why were you so mad? Alice is a good reason, but you were more jealous than mad. But how the hell would you tell him “Oh yea I’m mad because it’s not me you’re kissing, it’s her.”
After doing your skin care, you decided to just go to bed and try to get some sleep. At the end of the day, you could not let this ruin your life. It’s just a boy, that’s what you told yourself the whole night “it’s just a boy”, the problem was he was the perfect one. 
The next day, you were thankful you left early from the party. You were not in the mood to deal with a hangover. 
You did your normal morning routine, but also went in and checked on Aliyah. You knocked on her door, no answer. You knocked again, nothing. 
You opened the door and saw a sight you never thought you would see. Aliyah and a guy in her bed. Thankfully, they were covered, and nothing was out in the air. You giggled to yourself and closed the door. 
It was a free day so you decided to clean up a bit around the apartment and make yourself a yummy breakfast. After an hour had passed, Aliyah and the guy came out of their room. Her cheeks were bright pink and you could tell the guy felt awkward, scratching the back of neck. 
You couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. “Oh, shut up y/n” Aliya said, rolling her eyes. You laughed more and introduced yourself to the guy whose name was Andrew. “Well, it is nice to meet you, I cleaned up a bit around because I knew we had a guest over.” You said trying to tease Aliyah and making her laugh. 
They said their goodbyes and both of you sat down on the living room sofa. “Good night then?” you asked, taking a sip of your tea and raising your eyebrows. “Amazing” Aliyah responded, making you chuckle. 
“What about you? Nicolas said you left kind of early, what happened?” It all came back to you; all of the events from the night before. You had done a pretty good job at hiding it and not thinking much about it but now that Aliyah asked you couldn’t hide it anymore. 
You opened your mouth to say something but were quickly cut off with tears pouring out of your eyes. “Oh honey! What happened?” Aliyah asked now concerned and pulled you in a hug. You hugged her back tightly, just wanting to cry the emotions out. 
Once you had cried for a bit, you pulled away and tried to articulate everything. 
You told Aliyah everything. How she had always been right in saying you had feelings for him, how you dressed up yesterday for him, how you saw him kissing Alice, what he said to you afterwards and how mad you were at yourself for being so pathetic. 
“Hey stop it! You are not pathetic! You are allowed to feel sort of betrayed by him. And, you are allowed to have feelings for him and try to impress him. There is nothing wrong with that.” She said comforting you, rubbing your arm. 
“Babe, why didn’t you tell me when it happened? I would’ve come home with you and talked about it.” “No, no, I just wanted to be alone. Nicolas found me crying and I didn’t tell him either but he knew it had something to do with Mason and was mad.” You said remembering Nicolas had waited for you to get in the uber as well. 
“I mean duh, of course he would be mad. He has feelings for you.” Aliyah said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What?” you asked, confused. “What?” “You just said he has feelings for me?” Aliya rolled her eyes at your question. “You are so naïve sometimes, oh my God.” “Aliyah, he has never said anything.” “I mean he doesn’t have to, it’s obvious. Also, why do you think he doesn’t really vibe with Mason?” Everything Aliyah was saying started making sense. “I guess it could be true…?” 
Both of you spent the day on the sofa catching up on a series you started watching the week prior. You were both caught up on it, but the doorbell made you both look at each other. “Did you order anything?” you asked, thinking maybe she had ordered some food and it was the food delivery guy. Aliyah stood up to open up and replied with a no. 
Once she opened the front door, you both saw Nicolas standing there with some flowers. 
“Hello you!” Aliya said, hugging him. “How was your night?” he said, raising his eyebrows, he clearly knew what Aliya had been up to. “Well, obviously better than yours.” She said laughing. 
Nicolas stepped in the apartment and saw you curled up in the sofa, making his heart melt. “Hey Nic” you said smiling, standing up to greet him. He smiled and hugged you. “Whose are these for?” you asked confused. “Well, um they are for you.” He said shyly. You could see Aliya had that “I told you” look on her face. 
“I’m going to go take a shower and leave you guys” Aliyah stated rushing back upstairs to her room to give you both privacy. 
“Oh wow, why?” you asked, smiling a little. “Well, I wanted you to feel better after last night.” You started blushing. “Thank you, you didn’t have to.” You took the flowers and placed them on the kitchen counter. “I’m going to add water and put them in a vase, thank you.” “No worries.” 
You offered him some tea, he accepted and both of you sat in the living room talking. 
You liked Nicolas, he had been your friend since your first year of college. But you never saw him as something else. Honestly, maybe you should. However, you didn’t want it to turn into something just because you want to get over Mason. You respected him enough to not do that to him. Once you chatted for about an hour, you thanked him again for the flowers and said your goodbyes.  
You cleared up the tea mugs and were about to go upstairs until the doorbell rang again. 
You opened the door, and this was a sight you were not expecting to see. Mason. With flowers in his hand and a card. 
You both just stood there for a moment without saying anything, frankly you didn’t know what to say. He broke the silence, “Can I come in?” he asked. 
You stepped out of the way so he could come in. Once you both reached the living room and kitchen area you immediately regretted letting him in. The flowers Nicolas brought you were still on the kitchen counter in full display. 
Mason stopped in his tracks, taken back. His mind had a million thoughts going through his head. Were they yours or Aliyah’s? If they were yours, who gave them to you? 
“Did someone beat me to it?” he said, chuckling a bit, trying to cut the tension. He was hoping you would answer they were not yours, but his face dropped when you answered. “Um, kind of” you said, chuckling nervously. “Oh, I thought they might have been Aliyah's.” he said, whispering the last part to himself. 
“Can I ask, whose are they from?” Mason asked, dreading the answer. “Nicolas.” You spoke. 
This made Mason’s blood boil. Why would Nicolas bring you flowers? What did he want from you? Mason placed the flowers and the card on the kitchen counter. 
“Why did he bring you flowers?” he asked, annoyed. This now annoyed you. You didn’t owe him any explanation, especially after last night. 
“Why do you care?” you snapped. Mason looked at you with rage. “Just, because” he replied, trying to keep his voice calm. 
“Oh, well you’re not my boyfriend so why are you so mad?” you asked, satisfied with giving him a bit of his own medicine. 
All this tension had even made both of you forget his flowers and the reasoning behind it. Mason’s face dropped, and it gave you a weird feeling in your tummy. You didn’t want to hurt him, but after last night and how he was being right now he deserved it. 
“You know what, I came here to apologize and explain what happened last night but honestly fucking forget it.” He said scratching the back of neck frustrated with the whole situation. He didn’t say anything else and just left. 
You don’t know why you wanted to cry. You knew you hurt him with that comment, but he hurt you too. 
You went upstairs and instead of going straight to your bed, you knocked on Aliyah’s door. “Come in!” you heard from the other side of the door. 
You stepped in the room with tears in your eyes. “What the fuck happened? I thought it was a good thing what Nicolas did?” She pulled you in a hug yet again trying to comfort you. 
“Fuck, I feel so lame I’m crying over a boy.” You said sniffing and pulling away from her. You wiped the tears from your face. “Mason came by after Nicolas left.” “What!? What did he say?”
“Not much, he brought me flowers and a card as well, he saw the flowers Nicolas bought for me and got annoyed, started asking who gave them to me and I said Nic and he got even more annoyed, and then I said the same comment he told me yesterday, got mad and left.” You said, grabbing a Kleenex that Aliyah handed to you. 
“Babe this is like a rom com,” Aliyah said, chuckling to herself. “you’re like in a love triangle who would’ve thought.” She said teasingly trying to cheer you up. “C’mon Aliyah.” “Y/n I’m serious! Why else would Mason be mad that Nic got you flowers? They despise each other because they both have feelings for you. Damn, how are you so smart yet so naive?” she asked herself. 
You thought about it for a second, it made sense but at the same time why would Mason have feelings for you. 
“Wait, did you read the card?” Aliyah said, interrupting your thoughts. 
“No, it’s downstairs.” You said. Aliyah jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to go and get the card. She came back panting from running up the stairs. “Okay well then, read it, maybe it will give you more clarity.” She said handing the card to you. 
You opened the card and saw Mason’s handwriting.
“I don’t even know how to start a letter, so don’t laugh at me. 
I’m so sorry about last night. I would never do something to hurt you like I did last night. Your feelings are more important to me than her or anybody else. I’m sorry for getting defensive last night, you had every right to be mad and I shouldn’t have said what I said, it was low of me. 
You’re my friend and I owe you this apology. Sometimes I wish we were more than that. I wish it had been you I was kissing. I wish you would feel the same way. But if that is not the case then, being your friend and being by your side is enough.
Love,
Mase”
“What does it say?” Aliyah said, curious as to why it left you speechless. 
“He…he has feelings for me” you said in disbelief, almost tearing up again, not looking up. 
“y/n! I told you! I fucking told you! Wow I’m like a genius at reading people” Aliyah was proud of herself. 
You tilt your head up to look at her, with tears brimming your eyes. 
“No, no, no. We are not doing this again. You are not going to cry. You are going to get ready, go to his place and talk to him and tell him you feel the same way.” 
“But-“ you tried to say. 
“Nope, I don’t care, c’mon get up.” Aliyah said pulling your hand so you would get up her bed. 
���But I said something hurtful-“ 
“And he did too, okay? You both did, and you will work It out. Try and work it out.” 
That was exactly what you needed to hear. You left her bedroom to go get ready and drive to Mason’s place. 
Once you put on a hoodie, shoes and got your purse and keys you were heading to Meson’s house. The drive to his house was a bit long, making you start overthinking everything. Maybe this seemed like a good idea 20 minutes ago, but now? What if he’s hurt and you can’t make him forgive you?
You arrived at his house and the nerves started getting bad and settling in your tummy.
You knocked on the door, waiting for him to open up. You heard footsteps approaching the door. There he was, in joggers and a hoodie, with a confused look on his face. 
“What are you doing here?” he asked. 
You hold up the card, again tears forming in your eyes. 
Mason glanced at the card, and then back at you. 
You reached out for him, and he smiled. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into a hug. You both stayed there hugging for what felt like forever. You were crying, again. “Fuck, this like the 3rd time I’m crying today.” You said sniffing, making Mason giggle. 
He pulled away, letting you into his house. 
He grabbed your hand and took you to the living room. Both of you sat down and turned slightly so you could look at each other. 
“I’m sorry Mase-“
“Don’t, you don’t have to apologize.  I kind of deserved that either way.” He said cutting you off. 
“Doesn’t mean I’m still not sorry about it.” You said wiping the remaining tears on your cheeks. 
“Why didn’t you tell me you had feelings for me, Mase?” you asked. 
“I feared being rejected by you. I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship. I was scared that if by some miracle you did feel the same way, my lifestyle would be too much, and it wouldn’t work. I was scared by a lot of things. I also, I feel like you sometimes pushed me away a bit. And as for last night, I was trying to be a good wingman to Woody and it backfired so hard. I just froze when she started getting closer to me.” He said not looking at you, almost as if he was ashamed about it. 
“I forgive you.” You said, grabbing his hand. 
“Mase, I always had feelings for you. I pushed you away because I knew if I didn’t, I would just be falling more and more for you. I was also scared of you rejecting me. You know, you are who you are and have this amazing life and everyone loves you, and I’m just me. I didn’t think you would ever feel the same way about me.” You said choking up. 
“We really need to communicate better, fucking hell.” He said, making you both giggle. 
He placed a hand on your cheek, caressing it with his thumb. 
“How can I not fall for you?” he said whispering. 
Your heart melted and just leaned your head against his palm making him smile. “I’m too awkward to even admit all of this to you.” You said smiling. He chuckled. 
He started leaning in more and more, your noses bumping into each other. You finally closed the gap between you both and kissed him. 
You had always imagined this moment. Ever since you met him, and so did he. 
Your lips were moving in sync and it was the best feeling in the world. You didn’t want it to end. You both pulled away and rested your forehead together. 
“You know I wish you would see yourself the way I see you.” He said whispering. 
“Mase…” you said, almost tearing up again. 
“Don’t bring the water falls again,” he said giggling. 
You both embraced each other the whole night. Explaining everything that had happened the night before and that same morning. 
“I don’t want to ruin the moment.” You said looking up at him. 
“Oh uh…” Mason replied, looking down at you. 
“I should talk to Nicolas Mase. I owe it to him.” You said afraid of what he would think. 
Mason thought about it for a second. As much as he didn’t like him, he knew you were right. On the positive side Nicolas would know it was him you wanted and not Nicolas. 
“Can I ask you something?” Mason said not looking at you. 
“Yes of course.” “Did you ever had feelings for him?”, you chuckled at Mason’s jealousness. “No Mase, never.” You got up a bit to be face to face, and gave him a little kiss to assure him you never did. 
“I promise, I just need him to know how I feel about you and to say sorry if he thought there was something else between him and I.” 
“I know, I trust you.” He said, looking at you now. 
“But that can wait,” he got up from the sofa, and reached his hand out for you. 
“Stay here today, with me?”  he asked, giving you puppy eyes. 
“Okay you said smiling.” 
Both of you got ready for bed, he had given you one of his t-shirts and boxers for you to sleep in. 
Before falling asleep and getting into bed with him, you gave a quick text to Aliyah.
You both got under the covers and cuddled each other. The night was filled with kisses, Mason whispering sweet things, and you blushing. This was heaven for both of you, and what you had craved for so long. 
490 notes · View notes
hiramaris · 21 days
Text
Kiss it Off Me
CHAPTER 5
Chapter Summary:
The farmer have the knack to be in the right place at the right time. And apparently, Haley just happens to be there— All the time.
Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer
Disclaimer:  I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.
Warning: alcohol
Tumblr media
Gif by  LoucoMarx's Artwork
If anyone told Haley she'd grown fond of you at the beginning of the year, she'd probably laugh at their faces. 
It's weird.
How you become a constant presence in her life right now that it would be weird not to see you even once a day.
It had been apparently a routine for you, and unfortunately (fortunate) for her, that you'd drop by the 2 Willow Lane every morning as long as it's beyond 8am to have breakfast with them.
Emily is more than willing to accommodate you, saying along the lines "Haley's a little calmer when you're around, Y/n/n."
Ridiculous.
Of course Haley had to be on her best behavior. You didn't need to see her and Emily squabble for the second time around. That would be embarrassing.
Well... that's what she likes to think. What she allows herself to think.
Because why else would you even stick around with someone as mean as her and give her all these gifts?
And why the hell is Haley even putting up with this?
She'd like to think it's because you want to get something from her. Let's say an ulterior motive.
But deep down she knows it's simply because you're just nice. 
At first, you looked like you're trying a little too hard to be liked by everyone else. Why else would you give almost everyone gifts instead of actually selling them and make profit? It just doesn't make sense. 
But the moment Haley experienced your kindness firsthand, she knew to herself that there's really no other ulterior motive behind all the easy smiles and gifts you were giving Haley.
So, even though she tried not to like it, she found herself actively looking for your presence.
Luckily for her, it just so happens the farmer also have the knack to be in the right place at the right time. 
Surprisingly this time, Haley doesn't seem to mind.
Spring 17
This damn thing.
Haley let out an exasperated sigh as she stared at the stubborn jar in front of her, glaring it with such hatred she hoped it might open itself from the pressure. Her hands were already starting to hurt from trying to twist the lid open.
Can't she have a break? She just wants to cook breakfast today since Emily's out and all, and Haley can finally show you some of her cooking skills at home.
Yeah, sure she can be absolutely lazy with household chores but cooking is actually something she loved to do.
"Come on, just open already!" she exclaimed through gritted teeth.
Haley tried to use all her strength to open the jar, letting out a loud grunt as she felt her palms tingle with pain. But no matter how hard she tried, the stupid lid just wouldn't budge.
She was so busy trying to open the damn thing that she didn't noticed your presence behind her with an amused grin plastered all over your face, clearly finding humor at her antics.
"You need some help?" you voiced out behind her.
"Ugh," a flash of surprise flickered on her eyes when she turned around and locked her eyes with you before her face morphed into a mock scowl. "How does it feel seeing me in pain?"
You chuckled at her exaggeration. "Aw, does the baby needs help?" 
"Hmp." She squinted her eyes at that. "I was about to cook breakfast for us but now I don't feel like doing it."
She crossed her arms in mock anger for good measure.
How dare she calls her baby? And for the wrong reasons, too! 
The nerve!
"Alright, alright, miss sassy pants. Come here," Haley's frustration quickly turned into surprise as she felt you tugged her by the loop of her belt, pulling her close to your body. The heat that radiates from your skin ignites a fire in Haley's belly.
You reached over and snatched the jar out of Haley's grip, flicking it open with a simple twist of your wrist. You then swiftly returned it to Haley's hand and gave her a look that could only be described as smug.
"Piece of cake," you bragged with a grin.
Haley cleared her throat, masking her embarrassment as she playfully shoved you away. "Hmp. You're stronger than you look."
You narrowed your eyes at her, and Haley caught a mischievous glint in your gaze.
"What do you mean, 'stronger than I look'?" you retorted, a hint of challenge dripping in your voice. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, you know?"
"Oh, really now?"
As if to prove your point, you rolled up your sleeves up to your shoulders, flexing your muscles just long enough for Haley to appreciate how farm works definitely did wonders to your physiques, not that you weren't already toned before, but you're definitely becoming a little buffer.
Those farmer clothes just hid them all this time.
Haley's mouth went dry. "Y-yeah, yeah, show off."
It's amazing how Haley still manage to act like this when a simple act of flexing had her gotten her hot and bothered.
She's never been one to swoon over muscles before (Alex's muscle only made her gag most of the time), but there's something about the way you look right now that has her feeling all kinds of things.
She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts of any impure ideas.
She didn't want to give you the satisfaction of stroking your already growing ego. Haley' sure that you are well aware of your effect on her, and if she let it show, you would only be so smug about it.
Sometimes, Haley regrets letting you be friends with Alex. Clearly, he's rubbing off you already.
"I wonder how many other ladies have been lucky enough to see that impressive display."
"How many are you?" you readily quipped.
Haley suddenly choked on her own spit as heat rose to her cheeks at your sudden boldness. (What the hell? What the what?)
"I'm gonna hit you," Haley threatened half-heartedly as she tried to regain her composure (and dignity.)
She has to make this stop or else everything will be too much for her. Which was a frequent occurrence nowadays when you're near her.
"Okay, okay!" you barked out a laugh, seemingly oblivious to your effect on Haley, much to her relief. "I'll help you cook, alright?"
"Fine. But you're going to boil the pasta. You suck at making the sauce."
"Yeah, yeah, M'lady. Let's do it your way."
Yeah, you definitely had the knack to be in the right place at the right time. 
And probably say the right things at the least opportune time. 
Does Haley mind? 
Definitely not.
Spring 20
The Flower Festival is in four days, and Haley will be damned if she'd be anything but flawless.
Currently lounging on her couch, Haley was draped in a flimsy white towel, the only piece of cloth covering her body besides the face mask she had just applied, and a soft towel wrapped around her hair to soak up some excess water.
She had already finished exfoliating her body, scrubbing away all the stresses and strains of the past few days. Of course, she can't forget moisturizing, too. Despite her naturally flawless skin, it took loads of branded lotions, scrubs and moisturizers (so worth the money) to keep it this perfect.
In short, it's her pampering day.
Haley was a true believer in the power of self-care, and she spared no expense in ensuring that every inch of her body was pampered to perfection.
And she can't afford to be stressed today.
Surprisingly, the day went by without a hitch.
Emily's usual nagging was nothing more than a minor annoyance that she brushed off without a second thought. And Alex, bless his heart, had the good sense to steer clear the moment he laid eyes on her with her bag of beauty essentials in tow.
He's also been kind enough to pass the message to you. Saying he'll just ask you to play ball with him or whatever to keep you busy earlier that morning.
Nothing, she repeats, nothing could ruin this nigh—
Her phone ringing was absolutely the least she expected to hear.
She was tempted to not answer, assuming it will be Emily on the other line. She doesn't call often during her shift, but if she does, she would occasionally ask Haley to bring either her apron or her shoes.
So, Haley's a little bit apprehensive about answering.
There's no way she's gonna be waltzing around outside just to give Emily her damn apron when she just finished her self-care!
Curiosity got the best of her though. With a deep breath, she swiped the answer button, hesitantly bringing the device to her ear.
"What?" she snapped, a little irritated at the interruption.
"Thank Yoba you answered. I was beginning to think you wouldn't." Emily babbled on the other line.
"Just spit it out, Em."
"Um," Haley can hear her hesitation. "Y/n/n's a little out of it and I kind of need help to get her home."
Haley sat a little bit straight at the mention of your name. "What do you mean she's out of it?"
"She's drunk."
For the love of Yoba—
What the hell are you thinking getting your ass drunk like that?
"Hay, are you still there?"
Haley has to literally calm herself down before speaking again. "I'm sorry but I can't. I just finished applying my face mask!"
"I see, I just thought since you're close with her and all..." Emily sounded a bit disappointed but didn't pushed it further. "I may just have to ask Penny to get her hom—"
"Be there in 5," was all Haley said before going to her room to get dressed.
She's going to kill you.
****
In no time at all, Haley arrived at the Saloon in her pajamas, hair damped and bare faced and everything. 
She saw Emily waiting outside, a visibly worried expression etched on her face. "Where is she?" Haley asked, her tone urgent.
Emily motioned towards the Saloon's door. "She's inside."
Normally, Haley wouldn't be caught alive inside her sister's workplace but that's the least of her concerns right now. "What the hell happened?"
"Since it was Shane's birthday and all. Y/n/n kind of bet with him who could drink the most beer without getting drunk. Safe to say no one won, huh?" Emily had the audacity to sound so sheepish. 
Haley nodded absentmindedly and took a deep breath before pushing open the door.
Sure enough, you were there, slumped over the bar with a couple of empty bottle of beer beside her. Shane's there too, but he's unconscious on the floor with Marnie trying her absolute best to wake her nephew up. 
Haley wanted to be mad at you. You literally made Haley walked across town with nothing but her pajamas! She also never go out without makeup and especially when she has just finished her skin care!
But what the hell.
Her heart could only flutter at the sight. How can someone be an idiot and cute at the same time?
She strode over to you and placed a hand on your back, careful not to startle you. "Y/n, come on. Let's get you home," she chided softly.
You groaned softly, lifting your head slightly at the sound of her voice, your eyes bloodshot and unfocused. "Hay..? Is that you..?"
"Yeah, it's me," Haley answered, helping you to your feet. She took your arm and wrapped them around her shoulder, while her other arm secured its place on your waist to keep youfrom falling. "Come on, let's go."
Having the inability to stand by yourself, Haley found you leaning almost half of your weight on her.
Yoba, you're quite heavy. 
"You smell geurd..." you slurred more.
Haley tried to fight herself from flushing at the comment. It did not help that your face is practically buried at the side of her neck.
"I know," Haley tried to retort. "And you smell like beer." She wrinkled her nose in mock disgust.
On the contrary, you actually smelled like freshly picked lemons and mint apart from the subtle scent of beer. It seemed that you prepared for this occasion and showered accordingly.
Haley briefly nods in approval. You didn't smell as bad as she expected, you weren't even sweaty, too compared to Shane here.
Haley stole a quick glance at him, noting his unruly stubble, tattered hoodie, and unkempt hair.
It was evident he hadn't exactly prioritized cleanliness lately. Haley couldn't help but be grateful that you were the complete opposite. But she decided not to dwell on it. After all, it was Shane's birthday, and he was entitled to be himself, even if it meant being his usual slightly musty, emo self.
"Even in my prime years I wasn't able to drink that much beer!" Pam cackled at the background, catching Haley's attention. She's clearly only tipsy despite the massive number of empty bottles in front of her. "Kids these days, really." She shook her head before turning to Emily. "Kid, can you give me some more mead?"
"Sure, Pam." Emily looks at Haley apologetically. "Sis, can you—"
"I got it. It's okay."
Leah, who had been eyeing them from the table decided to make her way towards them. "Do you need help?" before adding jokingly, "I didn't know Y/n/n was a drinker."
"Well, at least she's a lot calmer than Pam." Gus chimes in. "And a whole lot lesser violent than Shane here." He added as he eyed Shane on the floor with a couple of empty bottles beside him. Marnie is still trying to wake him up.
Haley raised an immaculate brow.
If Leah wanted to help maybe it would have been useful a couple of hours ago if she stopped this dungus from doing a stupid bet. Haley didn't dare say that though, and bit her tongue to stop saying something foul, instead, she opted with a strained, "thanks, but I got this." 
"You sur—"
The door of the Saloon swung open once again, and another redhead came straight to them. "What happened?" Penny asked in urgent. She's clad in her pajamas as well and her usually immaculate hair was down, which tells she's also ready for bed. "Mom called that Y/n/n was dru—"
"Kiddo, you're here!" Pam cheered loudly, Gus can only grimace at her antics. "I was just saying here that Y/n definitely won the bet!"
"Mom..." Penny sighed. "You should have stopped her. Y/n has work tomorrow."
"Hmp. It wouldn't hurt to have fun. Let the kid get loose a little. She's already been working hard."
Knowing it's no use to argue with her drunk mom. Penny turned to Haley, giving her a polite smile. "Do you need help taking her home?"
"Yeah!" Leah agreed beside her. "My cabin's near her farm, it would be no problem at all."
Haley tries to mask the sudden annoyance she feels at the women in front of her, and as well as the struggle she's feeling under the weight of the farmer. But she stood her ground stubbornly. She fakes a smile. "I got this."
"Are you s—"
"I got this." She repeated, this time firmly.
****
She definitely did not got this. 
You were thoughtful enough to stay still while Haley guided you out of the Saloon. But once they took a turn near 2 Willow Lane, the farmer started wriggling against her grasp.
"W-where... we going..?" you asked, slurring. 
"I'm taking you home," Haley replied in between grunts. 
What the hell is she even thinking?
She should have accepted Penny's help— hell, even Leah's help would be also appreciated but Haley just didn't like the idea of having those two around you.
Yeah, she knew you're friends with these two girls but Emily called her first, right? Never mind that she declined it first but Haley didn't want to be a bad friend letting you slumped all night long over that greasy bar. 
"Yoba, just how many beers did you drink? Surely, you're not that much of a lightweight."
You narrowed your eyes at her, holding up three fingers, "I had 9. Shane I think..." you held out a finger to her chin, "had 7."
Haley couldn't help but snort in amusement. "I'm pretty sure I'm not that dumb to count 3 on your fingers."
"It's 3 times 3." 
"Yeah, sure."
"Yeah! And I'm completely sober," you declared, as if your words alone were enough proof. But your actions told a different story, as you stumbled once again, prompting Haley to exclaim, "stay still, you dungus!"  before you manage to free yourself away from Haley's arms. "See?" 
"Clearly." Haley answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she approached you. You were swaying dangerously and on the verge of collapsing over Marnie's fence.
"Oops—" You flashed a stupid grin as Haley caught you just in time, preventing you from face-planting into one of the feces of Marnie's cows. "Thanks, babe."
Haley almost dropped you at the unexpected endearment.
Her cheeks flushed deeply, and she internally debated whether to abandon you here or let her own remaining shreds of dignity vanish into the night.
She coughed awkwardly, trying to regain her composure. "Wow, you sure are flirty tonight. You sure you're sober?" 
"I don't know," You answered truthfully, sounding strangely sober. You came to a halt, causing Haley to stop as well. "The only time I allow myself to be this close to you without my heart pounding in my chest is in the reality I've created in my dreams. So, tell me, Haley..."
Under the moonlight, your eyes held an intensity and softness that seemed almost impossible.
"Am I sober, or is this just a dream?"
****
Next
Notes:
I absolutely adore all those who left some comments from the past chapters. Thank you so much!
Alsooooo, I know it's a bit overdue buuuut
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K LIKES AND 100 FOLLOWERS! I didn't really expect this account to blow up like this but I really, really appreciate you guys and your patience for me.
I am so sorry for the delays as well. I just have a lot of things happening at the same time, you know, with uni and everything.
And I feel like I owe you guys a chapter. So here ya go!
240 notes · View notes
psychedelic-ink · 6 months
Text
ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐅𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐒
ㅤㅤjoel miller x f!reader x jack daniels
Tumblr media
genre: smut, minors dni, dude ranch au, modern au
word count: 7.7k
summary: joel challenges jack to make you into the finest there possibly is in two days.
warnings: threesome (mfm), mlm dynamics, some jealousy, outdoor sex, piv, oral sex, dirty talking
a/n: happy birthday @fuckyeahdindjarin 🎉 I hope you enjoy you slutty cowboys--both of them nearly gave me a heart-attack while writing ❤️‍🔥 this gif was made my the lovely @pedrorascal who I am so grateful for helping me out preparing your this bday surprise!
**dividers by @saradika
Tumblr media
You take a breath and sneak out of the cozy room. It had been hard parting away from your cozy bed. The warmth provided by the hand-knitted blanket and the scent of delicious wood made you want to never leave. They’ve really done a great job decorating the rooms of the dude ranch. It still holds the Western theme you love, but it's also adorned with rustic charm, from the weathered leather furniture to the handcrafted wooden accents, creating a welcoming atmosphere.
It had been a couple of days since your arrival. You were tired of... well, everything and desperately needed an out. You wish you could say that it happened like in the movies— a divine sign that made you come here, but no. There was no divine intervention, no mysterious flyer sticking to your face. You had to do an endless amount of research to find the perfect place, and when you were done, you picked the ranch that had the least foot traffic. You were running away from people. Choosing the most touristy one would defeat the purpose—you wanted to be alone.
And you were glad that you did. The place was amazing. Surrounded by large mountains and wide fields. This place wasn’t so people would come and see what was what. It was an actual ranch with actual people working all the time. Accepting guests was the side hustle and not the other way around. 
There were two cowboys that you constantly saw: Joel Miller and Jack Daniels. Both charming, both handsome enough to make you want to scream. Jack had been personally assigned to you, but Joel was always around, watching, observing, and, of course, running his mouth. You’ve grown accustomed to their odd friendship... rivalry? It was actually kind of cute to see Jack turn all red whenever Joel said something to undermine him. And the other seemed to know that well.
Two talented cowboys. And you, who had no idea what the hell you were doing. 
Which is why you were escaping your room like some kind of criminal at the brink of dawn. Joel’s teasing wasn’t only reserved for Jack, you got your fair share as well and it was even worse when Jack chimed in—the two seasoned horse riders letting you know just how out of your element you were. You needed to train without those two constantly spitting quips your way.
You silently make your way to the stables and blindly reach out towards Honeydust, the palomino Jack had gotten you accustomed to. You gently guide her away from the other horses. The rose-pink light of dawn has begun to trickle through the open windows, painting Honeydust’s coat in a gorgeous hue. You regret not bringing your phone; you would’ve loved to show Jack and Joel later on.
“Alright girl,” you mutter as you pat the side of her face. She whinnies slightly and digs her hoof into the ground. “It’s you and me. Let’s show them how it’s done.” 
As you reach for the saddle, you smile to yourself. You might not be that good at horse riding yet but you did learn some things—like the value of a good saddle. You take a moment to inhale the scent of it— a mix of leather, hay, and a hint of earthiness.
Honeydust stands patiently, seemingly aware of your fumbling attempts to secure the saddle. You take a deep breath, remembering the lessons Jack patiently gave you about saddling up. Slowly but surely, you manage to get everything in place. As you tighten the cinch, you feel a sense of accomplishment. A week ago, you hadn’t been able to do this. Maybe you're not a full-on cowboy, but you're determined to learn the ropes.
With the saddle secured, you grab the reins and lead Honeydust out of the stable, into the cool morning air. The sky is a canvas of pastel colors—blues, pinks, and golds blending together as the sun inches higher. It's a breathtaking sight. You pat Honeydust on the muzzle and press your cheek against her, watching the sky.
“Isn’t it beautiful,” you whisper to her. “Honestly I’m gonna hate going back. It’s been a couple of days and I’m already attached to this place.” 
Honeydust snorts and shakes her head. You smile wide as you pat her again, “You’re right. No room for sentimentality.” 
Mounting Honeydust, you settle into the saddle, adjusting to the feel of it beneath you. The quiet creak of leather is drowned out by the sounds of the waking ranch. Birds chirp in the distance, and you take a deep breath, your lungs filling with the fresh scent of the outdoors—
But then you’re slipping. 
And then falling. 
With a loud, sharp gasp, you find yourself unexpectedly upside down beneath Honeydust's belly. Panic sets in as you register the proximity of her powerful legs, your eyes widen, your heart pounding loudly in your chest. Honeydust remains still, your body still miraculously hanging to the saddle. 
Your heartbeat starts to slow, you take a deep breath. You’re fine. You’re okay. You just forgot to fasten one of the belts. 
“Need any help there, sweetheart?” 
Fuck. Busted. 
“I’m fine,” you answer, emphasizing the latter. Jean-clad legs come into view. “Just. . . trying a new riding style.” 
“Is that so?” Joel drawls, amusement dripping with every word. “And what would you call this one? The hangin’ fool?” 
“Rude.” 
His hips cock to the side and you see him placing both hands on his narrow hips, “Would it be better if I called it the hangin’ beauty?” 
“Yes actually, it would.” 
Your cheeks warm as he steps closer. You try not to stare, or perhaps that’s just you lying to yourself, but whatever your true intention was your eyes linger right over his crotch. Even with the thick jeans and the belt buckle, you know he’s packing underneath there. You can especially tell now since this is the closest you’ve ever been to it. Your mouth waters. Your brain delving further into sinful imagination when his low chuckle echoes in your ear. 
“A’right then beautiful, let’s get you out here.” he stops for a beat, his knuckles brushing down the outer part of your leg. You shudder, your legs tighten around Honeydust. “Unless you wanna show me this new ridin’ style of yours?” 
“You know what, I think I’ll take a rain check on that.” your voice is shrill and pitchy. Your eyes start to throb. “Especially since all the blood in my body is currently in my head.” 
“Oh shit—Okay, just gimme a sec.” he slides his hands under your armpits. “A’right now let go.” 
“What?” 
“Just let go, sweetheart. I got you. You’ll be okay, promise.” 
With a sharp breath, you close your eyes and loosen your legs. Joel's arms wrap further beneath yours, drawing you closer. You feel the tightening of his biceps, feel the huff of his breath against your cheek. He takes a step back and suddenly unbalanced, he falls backward, pulling you along.
With a huff, Joel lands on his ass, and you find yourself comfortably nestled against his chest. It takes you only a second for your gaze to find his. You hold your breath and so does he. His hand pleasantly curls around your waist, keeping you from moving away. His chest is firm under your own, your nipples tightening when you shift a bit, the graze of fabric makes you shudder. 
His other hand comes to brush a strand of loose hair behind your ear. You swallow not once but twice. The warmth of Joel’s palm cradles your cheek and a slow breath exits your lungs. 
“You a’right?” 
“Y—Yeah. . . thanks for helping me out.” 
“My pleasure.” His voice is deep, hoarse even, and it scratches your ears just right. You find yourself drawn to him. Your eyes dropping to his lips and back up to meet his heavy-lidded gaze. His lips part. The divot in the middle of his bottom lip more prominent than ever. You lean in without a thought, he mimics you, coming in closer and closer. Your chest heaves. Your heart beating madly against your chest. 
“What the hell are you two doin’ canoodling here?” 
You jerk away, your eyes lingering on Joel long enough to see the disappointment in his gaze. His eyes close slowly and he takes a ragged breath. Shifting slightly you see Jack holding a hay bale. His eyes are narrowed, his brows knitted together as his gaze flits between you and Joel. You chew the inside of your cheek, embarrassment heating you from the inside out. 
“We ain’t canoodlin’,” Joel answers, agitated. “I found her hanging upside down under Honeydust’s belly. Who’s fault do you think is that?” 
Jack’s mouth opens and closes, his cheeks suddenly flushed. His gloved hands tighten around the hay as he pushes it up his arms. Then finally, with a softened gaze, he turns to you. “Are you okay?” 
“I’m fine,” you reply, your heart currently beating in your throat. “I just forgot to fasten the other side of the saddle.” 
Joel squeezes your waist and you’re suddenly hyper-aware that you’re basically on his lap still. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You have a shit teacher.” 
“Excuse me?” Jack’s tone is enough to have you scrambling off of Joel’s lap. If looks could kill, Joel would be dead right now. On your feet, you move towards Honeydust, and with great comfort, she nuzzles your chest. Joel smiles lazily when Jack drops the bale of hay and walks up to him. “You better take that back, old man.” 
“Yeah?” his eyes glow with mirth. “Make me.” 
Involuntarily you cover your mouth with a hand. Is it bad that you’re secretly enjoying this? The amount of testosterone in the air is thick enough to cut with a knife. 
Joel slowly gets up, as if he has all the time in the world, and faces Jack. He’s slightly taller than the latter, smile still tugging at his lips as he tilts his head ever so slightly down. Jack’s nostrils flare. 
“You want me to knock you out in front of our guest?” 
“I’d love to see you try.” 
Joel takes another step closer, his chest nearly flushed against the other, he jerks his head to the side and places his hands on his hips. You swear you see Jack’s skin darkening with a deep shade of red from his chest to his neck. His jaw is wired tight, the muscle there twitching. 
“How about this,” Joel grins. “You manage to make our sweet girl here a full-on cowgirl in two days and I’ll eat my words right outta your hand, Whiskey.” 
Jack huffs and clicks his tongue, “Don’t call me that.” 
“It’s your name isn’t it?” 
“It ain’t and you know it.” 
“Your parents shouldn’t have named you Jack Daniels,” Joel rolls his eyes, “Do we have a deal or not?” 
You hold your breath when Joel extends a hand. Jack’s eyes briefly find yours, his fingers twitching. The morning chill is still in the air and despite it, beads of sweat appear on your skin. Two days. Two days and you still don’t know how to put on a saddle right. With a small shake, you attempt to warn Jack but that only makes him smile. 
He turns to Joel, “Deal,” he answers, taking his hand. “Two days. Be ready to eat your words, old man.” 
They shake on it and as they do Joel gives you a not so subtle wink. It reminds you of just how close the two of you were a mere couple of minutes ago. You avert your gaze, suddenly shy to face him, and think about what might’ve happened if Jack hadn’t interrupted. 
When Joel leaves, Jack lets out a long sigh and turns to you. 
“You slipped, darlin’, really?” 
“In my defense, it was early.” 
“Fuckin’ hell.” He shakes his head but you see the way his lips curl upwards ever so slightly. “Anyway, wait for me here and I’ll be right back. We gotta get you into tip-top shape because I ain’t gonna lose to Joel.” 
“I warned you, you know,” you softly kick the dirt with the tip of your boot. 
Jack’s tongue moves over his bottom lip, a shudder crawls up your spine and heat pools between your legs. He grips the bale of hay and throws it over his shoulder. 
“That’s why I accepted the challenge, sugar. No guest of mine is gonna leave here without feelin’ like they can conquer the world.” 
Tumblr media
“Jack this is impossible I’m never going to get the hang of this.” 
“With that attitude you sure ain’t gonna.” 
With a crooked smile, Jack watches as you draw your shoulders together and stomp your boot against the soil. The lasso is tight between your fingers, the tips of which are chafed from turning the lasso again and again in an attempt to loop the rope around one of the wooden posts. He tilts his head to the side when you turn to him, a pleading expression etched onto your beautiful face.
"This is never going to happen," you huff. However, instead of keeping his eyes locked on yours, his gaze drops to where your flannel hugs your breasts, the poor buttons struggling to keep it all together. His cock swells at the thought of licking them, sucking on your hard nipples while the sweetest noises flee from your lips. "Jack?"
He doesn’t hide the fact that he’s been staring at your gorgeous tits, he drags his gaze back slowly, his smile only growing upon seeing your parted lips and glazed eyes. “Yeah, sugar?” 
“We’re never going to win this thing with Joel,” you say and he doesn’t fail to notice how breathless you suddenly are. “How am I supposed to learn to do everything a cowboy can in two days? Seems a bit unfair.” 
“Not everythin’,” he struts towards you and peels the lasso from your fingers. “We just need to cover the basics. No one is expectin’ you to catch a knife in mid-air with a lasso.” 
Your brows furrow, “What? You’re saying you can actually do that?” 
“‘Course I can,” he chirps back. “Unlike you, I’m a top-notch cowboy.” 
His heart breaks a little when he sees how defeated you look, with a small nudge to your shoulder, he draws your gaze back to him. “Want me to show you again darlin’?” 
“Sure but I’m not sure it’ll do me any good. I’m horrible at this.” 
With a reassuring grin, Jack steps back, unwinding the lasso he took from you. He takes a moment to adjust the coils and then demonstrates the art of lassoing, the rope flying through the air in a graceful arc before landing perfectly around a wooden post.
“You see, it's all in the wrist,” he explains as he smoothly tightens the loop, making it look deceptively easy. He repeats the motion a couple of times, each throw precise and controlled.
“You know who’s really good at this?” he asks, returning his attention to you. “Joel.”
You snort, “I feel like that man is good at everything. But I’m not sure why you’re telling me that.”
“Well, you know who used to suck at it—me.”
“You?” you raise a sole eyebrow, and a teasing smile touches your lips. “You who can catch a knife in the air, supposedly, that is.”
“It takes a lot of practice, sugar. That's what I’m tryin’ to tell ya. I sucked at it. Couldn’t even do one loop. Then the old timer helped me out.”
“Joel?”
Yup," he says, noticing your shock. He had been shocked too when the man had shown him how to properly do it. It was both amazing and terrifying. Jack had never had someone care about him enough to actually show him how it's done instead of letting him struggle on his own. "And eventually, I got the hang of it. So will you.”
You smile wholeheartedly and take the lasso from him, “Thanks, Jack. I. . . I appreciate it. You actually really respect him, don’t you? Despite all the banter and arguing.” 
“That’s just how I show love, darlin’.” 
“You never argue with me.” 
His eyebrows tilt up, along with the corner of his lips. You avert your eyes as you loosely hold the rope in your hand, the exercise quickly forgotten. Jack closes the distance until there's only a breath of space between you two. He entertains the idea of lifting your head by the chin, forcing your gaze upon him, but he refrains. He wants you to listen to him and oblige.
“Look at me, darlin’,” His eyes shine with delight when you do, he leans closer. “You want me to fight you?” 
Your brows furrow, your lips forming the most adorable pout, “No. Of course not.” 
“You sure?” This time he does cup your cheek to keep your gaze fixed on him. His pinkies move towards your neck, drawing soft patterns up and down your skin. You visibly shudder, a soft breath escaping your lips. “I see how you watch when Joel and I start to bitch and moan at each other, sugar. You sure you’re not into it even a little?” 
He knows your answer. But he allows you to giggle and escape his hold anyway. “You’re ridiculous,” you say and as a response Jack wants to touch on the fact that you can’t look at him anymore, however, he’ll allow you to escape him for now. 
“Come on then, now that you got your giggles on, let’s see you at least pull in one of those cones.” 
While you attempt to just do that, Jack ends up regretting teasing you because he ends up thinking about Joel instead. It’s hard to admit that the constant bickering is the obvious telltale sign of something more. And he knows there’s something. Joel only weaponizes his tongue when you’re around. Or someone else for that matter. But when it’s just the two of them it’s different. It’s lingering touches and heavy scotch-filled conversations. Sometimes Joel would even whisper so he wouldn’t wake the others. Jack shivers as he remembers how Joel’s lips felt against the shell of his ear. Downright sinful. 
It always remained at that, however. Touches and looks and talks. Nothing more and nothing less. 
“Jack,” you say, your voice drawing him away from thoughts he’s happy to be drawn away from. “How did you end up here? Like with Joel and the rest.” 
“It’s not much of a story. I was lookin’ for a job and came here lookin’ for one.” He lifts his hat and combs his hair back with his fingers. “I actually met Tommy first. Joel doesn’t like the hiring process and says his younger brother is a better judge of character. I met him after I was hired. Then I met the little munchkins.” 
“You mean Sarah and Ellie?” 
“Yes ma’am I do,” he reaches forward, letting his fingers nearly brush yours. He chuckles, "I also know what you're doing, so stop stalling and throw the damn lasso already."
You take your bottom lip between your teeth and all Jack wants to do is pry it away from the sharp edges, "Oh, are we arguing? Should I add this moment to my journal?” you manage to lock your gaze with his, a grin spreading across your face. “Does this mean you love me?" 
He takes a step closer, leaning ever so slightly into your personal space. A hint of a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, he breathes, "How 'bout this? You throw that rope, and I'll kiss you, sweetheart. Then you’ll really know what I feel."
Your eyes widen, "You’ll... excuse me?"
A wicked glint in his eyes, he quips, "I'll kiss you, full-blown on the lips. And believe me, it'll be my pleasure to lay one on you."
"Just throw the rope? Aren't you selling a bit short?"
Jack takes another step towards you and you can feel the heat radiating from him. His voice low and husky, he counters, "Fine then, manage to actually lasso something, and then I'll kiss you."
"You're mean. You said you'd only do it if I threw it." You challenge him by taking a step closer and he’s delighted to see it. 
Cupping her face in his hands, he grins, "Changed my mind. And you have yourself to blame for it."
With all his heart Jack wishes for you to make the throw. Something primal and ugly in him finds extreme joy in being the one to kiss you first. He hated to admit it, but his heart broke a little when he found you and Joel together, lips almost about to touch. He hated feeling like an outsider. Especially when it came from Joel.
With a determined glint in your eyes, you take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Gripping the lasso in your hands, you start to swing it in a circular motion above your head. It’s sloppy and uneven but he can see how much care you’ve put into your stance. Jack watches intently, noting the way you shift your weight from one food to another, a subtle smile playing on his lips.
As the lasso gains momentum, you release it at just the right moment. It sails through the air, forming a perfect loop. Jack's eyes follow its trajectory, silently urging it to find its mark. The loop descends gracefully, and, with a satisfying thud, it settles around a nearby plastic cone and you pull it towards yourself, the plastic moving with ease. 
A triumphant grin breaks across your face as you complete the throw. “I did it,” you gasp in a low tone, panting. Your head suddenly snaps towards him, a shit-eating grin plastered over your perfect lips. “I DID IT!”  
Jack only smiles as he leans in and cradles your face in a rush. He crashes into you, lips meeting yours in an eager, lingering kiss. He teases the seam of your mouth with the tip of his tongue. Just a brief preview of how badly he wants this to happen. His hands slip to your ass, kneading the plump flesh, his cock stiffens at how you moan into his mouth. You press against him and Jack can’t help but roll his hips to feel more of you. It’s been so long. Too long since he felt something warm and tight around his cock. 
He parts away by dragging his lips down to your chin and from there to your neck. He nips at your pulse, feeling it beating against his mouth. 
“Jack,” you breathe. “I—Wow—” 
“Kissin’ is one thing I’m better at,” he chuckles deeply into your ear. “Among other things.” 
He holds you by the neck and gently pulls away. He can’t get enough of the expression you’re giving him; pupils blown and lips slightly parted. Your chest heaves heavily, your pulse beating wildly under his palm. Jack brushes your lips together, smiling upon hearing you whimper. 
“Now, throw that lasso again and I’ll give you another kiss.” 
Tumblr media
And it all comes down to horse riding. You should be surprised but you’re not. 
The sun was finally setting over the ranch. A subtle chill settling at the base of your snake as the sun went down. It had been a tiring day full of lasso throwing, ax throwing, and knotting. Your back ached and when the final challenge finally befell you all you wanted to do was go back to your room and sleep. The only thing that gave you an ounce of energy was Jack’s proud smile after every challenge that was won. Joel seemed genuinely impressed. And you were genuinely surprised to find yourself acing every task. Seeing how smug Jack got made your heart flutter and stomach draw tight. 
The two of you had done a lot of kissing that day. It hadn’t gone any further but deep down you really wanted it to. 
You feel a deep sense of Deja Vu when you find yourself staring at Honeydust with a saddle in hand. You take a deep breath, fingers tightening around the leather. The open air gives you a sense of calm, the cloudy sky a pleasure to gaze upon.
Jack touches the small of your back, goosebumps rising across your skin at the gentle touch, “You got this darlin’ don’t worry so much.” 
You briefly glance at the track Joel and Jack had set up for you. Wooden fences stand tall at various intervals, creating a series of jumps that make you sweat just by thinking about them. Your eyes linger on the strategically placed cones that form a zigzag pattern. 
“Honestly no matter what happens I’m impressed,” Joel cuts in, cupping Honeydust’s cheek. Your gaze moves deftly from the track to the man standing before you. As always, he looks amazing in his red and yellow flannel. “You’ve done well sweetheart.” 
“Maybe you should just forfeit and accept we won then,” you answer, smiling. Joel shakes his head. 
“Someone is sure of herself.” 
“Hell yeah, I am.” 
“Look at that,” Jack pipes. “Soundin’ like a true cowboy already.” 
You expertly secure the saddle onto Honeydust's back. The leather feels cool beneath your fingertips as you tighten the straps, ensuring a snug fit. Adjusting the stirrups, you make sure they're the perfect length for your legs. As you stand beside the horse, you can feel the intensity of Joel and Jack's gazes on you. Their eyes trace the curves of your movements, a subtle tension lingering in the air.
With everything in place, you take a deliberate breath and swing yourself onto the saddle. The leather creaks slightly under your weight as you settle into position. Honeydust shifts beneath you. You catch Joel's gaze, and a sly smirk plays on his lips. His eyes linger a moment longer than necessary, you let out a puff of air, your legs tighten around Honeydust..
"Remember, just go with the flow. You and Honeydust are a team," Jack advises and with that, you head off. 
Gently nudging your heels against the horse's side, you urge Honeydust into a graceful gallop around the track. The steadying thud of her hooves pounding against the dirt creates a harmony that molds with the song of the wind, transporting you to a place of serenity. Each hurdle makes your heart jump with excitement. The jumps seem impossible at times. As you zigzag through the cones, you can feel Honeydust's muscles tense and relax under your hands, transitioning from one step to the next with the gracefulness of a dance—
A sudden jolt disrupts the rhythm, and you find yourself tumbling to the ground. You let out a deep groan as your back hits the earth and with the corner of your eye, you see Joel taking hold of Honeydust’s reins, calming the poor palomino. Jack’s face comes into vision a second later. 
"You okay, darlin'?" When you nod and begin to get up, his worry turns to frustration as he glances at Joel. "This was supposed to be about teaching, not pushing her to the damn limit."
"I didn't mean for her to fall, Jack. So don’t act like that was my intention."
“No, your intention was to make me look like I don’t know what I’m doin’.” 
Jack, eyes still glued on Joel, helps you up. Your head is still spinning a little from the adrenaline rush but other than that you feel fine. Your eyes flitting between both men, your stomach twists and turns at how they’re both glaring at each other. This time is different from the arguments. This time they both genuinely look like they’re about to explode. Joel has his jaw tight while Jack has both hands in tight fists. “Guys. . .” 
"Why you gotta make everythin’ personal?" Joel snaps, ignoring you all together. “It was just meant to be a harmless bet.” 
Jack's eyes narrow, he tears his hand away from yours and your heart drops, "You're the one who makes it damn personal by goadin’ me all the damn time."
“That’s. . .” Joel’s eyes grow soft, his demeanor changing entirely. You watch the furrow between his brows relax, his shoulders sagging ever so slightly. “I’m—” 
“Can it,” Jack hisses through gritted teeth and raises a hand. “I don’t want your apology, I just wanna go. Unless you think I’m gonna be bad at that too.” 
You reach out, head still spinning, your fingers graze the back of his jacket and he slips from between your grasp. You part your lips to call out to him. To tell him to come back. But Joel takes a hold of your hand and lowers it with the shake of his head. 
“I know where he’s goin’. Let’s go.” 
“Are you telling me he has a brooding spot?” 
“He does.”
Tumblr media
The sun had set. The crickets now singing under the starry night, but Joel can't focus on any of it. He can’t because he might’ve actually screwed everything up for good this time— which would be typical of him.  
After months of contemplating whether he should take the next step or not, he’d finally made Jack snap. That had never been Joel’s intention, obviously. But he wasn’t the best at flirting. Never had been. And when Jack came into his life, all fresh faced and a lashing tongue, he couldn’t help but fall for him a little. 
You’re walking just a little bit behind him, trying to keep up. He can feel you staring at him. Your eyes curious like a newborn gazelle’s. 
“If you stare any harder I’m gonna start blushin’ sweetheart.” 
“I’m. . . I wasn’t. . .” 
“Sure you were,” he sighs. “It wasn’t my intention to be hard on him you know. It just. . . sorta happens. I care a lot about him and I just want him to. . . “ He clamps his mouth shut. What was he supposed to say? How he was hoping that all the teasing would finally push Jack into his arms? How he wanted to do more than touch Jack when he knew no one else could see. 
“You want him to. . .  what exactly?” 
“I don’t know,” he says through gritted teeth. “It’s complicated between us.” 
“You both have a crush on each other and don’t know what to do about it. It’s not that complicated.”
Joel’s mouth opens and closes— then opens again. “And how the hell do you know that?” 
“Because he talks about you a lot,” you answer with a soft smile. “He said he cares about you. And about your opinion.” Joel’s eyes narrow as you rub the back of your head, your eyes dropping to where you would be taking your next step. “I just don't know where I fit in all of this.” 
“What do you mean?” 
“You and I almost kissed,” you say finger moving between you two. “Jack and I actually kissed. And well. . . I don’t want to get in the middle of anything. It might be a bit sudden but I like you guys, I care about you, and want you guys to be together if that’s what you want.” 
“It’s not your job to worry about us.” Joel huffs, his guilt gnawing at him. “But I get what you mean. We. . . we didn’t intend to put you in that position. I can assure you this wasn’t some twisted game we were tryin' to play. I can't talk for Jack but I care about you. And I care about him if that makes sense. But I fear that me being emotionally constipated might’ve ruined it with him. He gets mad every time I open my mouth.” 
“That’s because you tease him all the time and honestly he’s not doing any better than you.” Joel’s eyes go wide when you suddenly cradle his cheeks and bring his face towards your own. “And you haven't ruined anything Mr. Miller. You just need to tell him exactly what you’ve been telling me.” 
“You think so?” 
“I know so.” 
Before he can reach he feels the soft touch of your lips. You kiss him slowly—tenderly. Joel follows your lead, parting his lips, he allows you to slip your tongue inside. He sucks on your tongue, enjoying the way your body presses against his. 
When you pull back, you’re completely dazed.
“Now what was that for?” he asks.
“To keep everything even” you answer, smiling. “Now let's go get our brooding cowboy.” 
It doesn’t take long for that to happen. They find Jack sitting on the ground, his back pressed snugly against the wooden fence. He’s staring at the stars. The gentle light streaming down his face and down his neck, Joel’s heart skips a beat at the sight and he feels as though he can’t breathe. 
Only when they walk closer does he notice the bottle of whiskey. He lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a swig, Joel’s eyes follow the way drops of amber trickle down his sun-kissed skin. 
All Joel wants to do is lick the bitter drop off of him. 
The two stop before him. Neither of you knowing what to do or what to say. Joel attempts to apologize by parting his lips and that is the exact moment where Jack finally meets his gaze. 
“I know,” he says curtly. “Sit.” Jack extends the bottle of whiskey. Joel, without a word, sits down and takes the bottle. Just as he’s taking a swig, he notices you’re about to leave.  Thankfully Jack stops that from coming to fruition. “And where do you think you’re goin’? Sit your ass over here.” 
Joel almost cackles at how shocked you look. With the tiniest yelp escaping your lips you sit down right next to Jack. Taking a mouthful of whiskey, Joel extends you the bottle. You take it and chug it down immediately—Jack snorts and finally Joel feels comfortable enough to laugh alongside him. 
“Calm down darlin’, it ain’t runnin’ away.” 
“Sorry,” you hiccup, shoving the bottle into Jack’s chest. “I’m nervous.” 
“Well, don’t be,” Jack sighs and his head falls back against the fence. “I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I—” 
“We know,” Joel says with a fond smile. He throws his arm over Jack’s shoulder and cups the back of his head, his hat tumbling to the ground—it was now or never. 
For the first time, Joel brings their faces together without the tease of what he might or might not do. He kisses Jack tenderly, softly. Just like how he wanted to treat him during all those nights they were alone together. Jack digs his fingers into Joel’s shirt, nails nearly biting into the skin. Much to Joel’s surprise, the other man tastes sweet. Their tongues move together, still unsure but eager to explore. 
When Joel opens his eyes ever so slightly, he sees you staring in awe. 
He nearly breaks away laughing. But also, he can’t really blame you for your expression. 
It really does feel magical. 
Tumblr media
You hold your breath. Every nerve ending you have is buzzing with want and arousal. The space between your legs pulsing as you watch Joel tilting his head, slipping his tongue through Jack’s eager lips. Deep down you feel like you’re intruding. That this is a tender moment that should just be between the two men but you can’t help but stay there, like a deer in headlights, watching.  
You shudder at the sound of Jack moaning, his hands grip Joel’s shoulder and host himself up the older man’s lap. He grinds down, swallowing Joel’s gasps, he parts away, a trail of saliva connecting the two. You’re still holding your breath. The tips of your fingers numb, your brain a whirlwind as it registers the sight before you. 
“Stupid old man,” Jack rasps, tilting his head to the side. “Gettin’ all sappy.” Then his heavy gaze finds your struck ones. He reaches out and in a dream-like state you take his hand, his fingers hastily close around your wrist and tugs you towards him. Your gasp is caught in your throat when he kisses you. The taste of Joel and whiskey still heavy on his tongue. 
A hand that doesn’t belong to Jack trails up the curve of your ass and squeezes. A choked-out moan drops from your lips only for Jack to shove his tongue between them. He sucks on your tongue and nips at your bottom lip all the while rolling his hips over Joel’s lap. 
“God, look at you two,” Joel groans, giving your ass another firm squeeze before moving his attention to Jack’s spread thighs. “I want to watch you eat that pretty pussy up, Jack. Bet you want that too. . .” 
Joel palms Jack’s cock through the denim, stroking him with a smug smile. Jack parts away from your lips with a whimper. His chest heaves. “Yeah,” he gasps, staring into your eyes, and his hips jerk, chasing the heat of the other’s palm. “Want you to make a mess of me, sugar.”
“Please,” you answer albeit not really needed. Your body falls back to sit on your heels, Joel crashes his lips against the younger cowboy’s, drinking the noises in like a starved man. He rips his flannel open while straightening himself, the momentum of the movement forcing Jack to grip Joel’s shoulders. He slides off of Joel’s lap, the kiss breaking when he directs his full lust-addled attention to you. 
His gaze is enough for you to start struggling with the buttons of your jeans. You kick them off in a rush and before you can take off your shirt Jack is already laying you down upon the soil, the stars above blinking down at you with mischief. Joel sitting close, pulls your head so you’re nestled comfortably above his lap. His hands cradle your face, thumbs stroking your skin gently. It’s a complete contrast compared to how Jack is. He slides your panties to the side, the pad of his thumb resting right above your clit, he stares at your from between your spread-out thighs. 
“Fuckin’ delicious,” he mutters right before delving in. He drags his tongue slowly up your folds while tenderly stroking your clit. Your back arches off of the earth, your eyes fluttering closed as he goes back down, only to kiss you tenderly. He takes his time with you. His jaw moving and tongue teasing your fluttering entrance. Your breath catches in your throat, your chest rattling, Joel shushes you while praising Jack at the same time. 
When your eyes finally open, you find Joel looking down at you. His thumb traces the underline of your bottom lip and moves down until he reaches the hem of your flannel. Flattening his thumb over your stomach, he pushes the fabric up until he exposes you to the sky completely. He cups both your breasts and smooths his fingers over your tingling nipples. 
“So hard already. . . you must really like what he’s doin’ down there huh?” 
Tears stinging the corner of your eyes, you nod. Your silent reply is answered with a sharp bite to the inside of your thigh. Your body jolts, a gasp of pain rattling your throat. Joel smiles. “I think he wants to hear you, sweetheart.”
“I love it,” you moan and as a reward, he pinches your nipples. 
“Good girl.” 
Jack presses his tongue deeper, your body clenching at both the words and the movement. He groans into your cunt, the bridge of his nose brushing your aching clit deliciously as he swirls his tongue. Your stomach coils tight and you push more of yourself into Joel’s palms, your mouth drops wide. You want more. You need more. You want them both to take and take and take—take until you forget your own damn name. 
“Joel. . .” you breathe. He looks down at you curiously. “I want to suck your cock.” 
Jack stops only for a moment before his eyes flutter closed and loses himself in you. Vaguely you can see the way he grinds down, a groan reverberating between your legs. Joel sucks in a breath and exhales from his nose. “You sure?” 
Your answer is ready on your tongue, and as soon as you give it to him, he expertly unbuttons himself. The tip of his cock pushes against your lips and your breath hitches. Precome smears over the soft flesh, your tongue darting out for a taste, you end up tasting from the source instead. Joel’s hips stutter. 
“Holy fuckin’ hell,” his hips jerk a second time, this time thrusting himself deeper into your mouth. You feel him leaning over, a second later you understand he’s reaching for the other man who is working you toward your orgasm. “Jack com’ere—Let me taste her.” 
Jack doesn’t make Joel repeat himself and unwillingly pulls himself away from between your legs. Your tongue swirls around Joel’s cock as Jack kisses him deeply. He licks himself deep into the older man’s mouth, stealing a moan deep within Joel’s chest. While Jack steals the breath from Joel’s lungs, he pushes two fingers into you with ease. Your eyes rolling, you take more of Joel into your mouth, prompting the other to instinctively thrust deep enough to make you choke around him. 
He parts from Jack with a gasp, “Fuck, that’s it, sweetheart, choke on it.” he says through gritted teeth. Both men look down at you with dark eyes, the shadows caused by the moonlight caress their backs, deepening every crease of their faces. You shudder. 
You’re surprised to see Jack dipping down, lower from where you’re sucking Joel’s cock, he sucks the tender skin of the base, and the sound that Joel makes almost feels inhumane. 
But Jack doesn’t linger. He pulls away from both of you, his torso tall between your legs, he strokes himself at the sight of your mouth full of the man he admires. 
“You like having your mouth full, darlin’? Such a dirty girl allowing two men to have you like this out in the open.” 
You whimper and nod, eyes flooding with tears as Joel shoves himself deeper. Spit and precome trickle down from where his cock stretches your lips. 
“Fuckin’ filthy,” Jack says giving himself a firm squeeze before swiping his palm over the head of his cock. With his other hand, he follows the contour of your leg, reaches all the way to your hip. “You’re ‘bout to feel much fuller.” 
He shoves himself inside you with a single thrust; your channel tightens around him, a moan escaping your throat. Your mouth is pulled away from Joel briefly, gasping for air, before he pulls you back. He adjusts his hips and slides back into your mouth, kneading the back of your neck.
“You feel that? How hot and wet you are? Both of us stretching you?” Jack's voice is gruff as he thrusts into you; your eyes close as pleasure radiates through your body, your skin left tingling. You can hear Joel moan and pant in the background, his cock throbs above your tongue and you hollow out your cheeks.
Your eyes flutter as Jack's cock glides in and out of you; his plunges getting deeper with every thrust. You feel overwhelmed by both of them. You’re left breathless and spinning. You feel only them and nothing else. 
You grip onto Joel to keep yourself teetered to the moment as Jack's movements become more desperate, Joel matching him thrust for thrust. With each gasp, Joel's cock slides further down your throat. 
The tightness inside your body grows; waves of pleasure cascade through you. The pressure builds and builds and builds—You’re so close you can taste it. Jack presses a palm over your mound, adding pressure as he draws quick and tight circles around your clit. Your throat convulses around Joel’s cock and he pulls out, his length resting comfortably above your lips. You breathe heavily against him, his cock slick and warm on your skin. 
“Atta girl,” he coos. “Just a bit more. . . Show us how pretty you look when you come.” 
You feel the pressure between your legs mounting with each hard thrust from Jack, your moans becoming louder and more desperate. Joel encourages Jack to go faster, and with each plunge you feel the tension in your core build higher and higher. 
And finally the coil snaps. 
Your whole body trembles and shakes. Your orgasm still rolling over your body like a violent wave. Jack pumps his hips into yours as he digs his hands into your hips. He keeps thrusting relentlessly, pushing himself as far in as he can before he pulls out. His jaw goes slack, cock gliding over your mound, he spills over your skin. You shudder at the trickle of his seed. 
Joel’s cock slides across your lips, teasing you. Your tongue darts out and quickly wraps around him, you tilt your head to take in all of his length. You push your mouth onto him, bobbing your head up and down until he groans. His hips buck erratically and at the same time you feel the touch of Jack’s mouth against the side of your neck. 
You swallow everything that he offers you, savoring every moment of the taste of him. You stay close to him until his breathing returns to normal, his thighs shaking underneath you as he pulls out. 
“Holy shit,” Jack chokes out as he collapses on top of you, head right above your chest. Joel wipes the sole tear that had escaped you eye and smiles. You bring his palm to your lips and kiss the rough skin. 
“It’s going to be hard walking away from all of this,” you whisper, shuddering when Jack’s mouth moves against the side of your breasts. 
“Who says you have to walk away?” 
You don’t have it in you to go into the details of your life and how you have to go. Or entertain the idea that maybe the things that you thought were important aren’t as essential that you thought after all. It’s pure chaos and right now all you want is to feel their warmth against your bare skin under the stars. 
For now, you are content and feeling grateful for the two amazing men who coincidentally made themselves an inseparable part of your life.  
686 notes · View notes
rosewine-5 · 5 months
Text
Eyes Never Lie
Tumblr media
gif made by margeretmarch
Coriolanus Snow x b!woc capitol reader
(Contains spoilers for T.B.O.S.&S)
A.N: what the hell is a p.o.v anyways, it bounces from one character to another. I am not the best writer so if you see a spelling mistake/ typo I apologize, I’ll get better.
A.N 2.0 : this might get a part 2 because my mind got one idea, then another and I just RAN with it.
Word Count: 4.2k words (trust me, it was more)
———
When the both of you first met, it just so happened to be your first year at the academy. At the time, you were only acquainted to one person, a nice boy who, despite his riches, was very humble, and dare you say good looking: Sejanus Plinth. He had approached you, making civil conversation, and before long you both discovered the two of you had similar thoughts and opinions, particularly about the capitol.
That was when you first laid eyes on him. The tall blue eyed blonde boy. From the look on his face, anyone could tell he was a little nervous, hell everyone was a bit nervous to be here, being the first day and all. But flexing your hand every 5 seconds is a clear sign you’re about to pass out from fear. That was when you approached him, Sejanus not too far behind.
When he turned to you, his eyes widened a little, shocked someone was looking to make conversation with him. While his eyes went from in between Sejanus and yourself, yours stayed on his face. He kept a calm face, not showing a lot of expression, one free lesson growing up you had mastered.
Even though you were blessed to grow up in the capitol, you never much cared for the people, viewing the other districts almost like animals and not people infuriated you.
But you were good at hiding your expression behind your eyes, and this boy was good at it too. Too good. In fact, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, “Odd, I can usually tell, even guess what people think.” Not him, not Coriolanus Snow, as he introduced himself. You knew of him, just not anything about him other than his family name.
As years went by, it became clear the 3 of you would be close friends, but your feelings for Coriolanus grew deeper than yours for Sejanus. You couldn’t see Sejanus as much as you could Coriolanus, so naturally you would have a deeper connection. The both of you even walked to school most of the time because you lived so close together.
Today you decided to add a couple of beads onto your braids this morning and walked out of the house. After walking a couple of blocks, you spotted Coriolanus just walking outside, and waving to you. “You’re up early.” You said, giving him a short hug which he returned. “I didn’t want to be late.” You rolled your eyes as he said that, “You’ve never been late to class, ever.”
He looked forward, a smirk on his face. “Can’t afford to be late.” He always answered. You looked up at him, his eyes never wavering from the road ahead. “You know why.” He then added, to which you nodded as a reply.
You discovered his true reasoning of why he strived to be top of the class by chance. He had gotten sick as he was walking home, having an uncontrollable coughing fit and fell out on the grass. You refused to let him walk home alone and that was the first time you had seen him so vulnerable. He almost looked embarrassed when you helped him in his home and to his room.
As you helped him out of his jacket, he slowly laid back. You went to get a towel to wipe the blanket of sweat off his forehead. As you came back, he caught your hand. “I’m sorry you had to see this.” He weakly said, returning your attention to him,” Go ahead, laugh at me.” I shook your head, “Why would I? You’re my friend.” You then took the towel and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
“I may have been raised capitol, Coriolanus, but I was also raised with a soul. I’d do anything to survive and succeed in this life, who am I to judge you for doing the same thing?”
For a moment the only thing in the room was the sound of his breathing as his hand reached for your hand, and kissed it, before holding it firmly, never looking away from you. You looked in his eyes, and for the first time you could finally see what he was thinking, “Thank you”. You then nodded, not needing him to say a word as you stood up, and kissed his forehead, “Get some rest, Corio, you need it.” As you walked out of the home, you walked in silence.
You felt like a terrible friend, not knowing how much he was going through. But that wasn’t the only reason, your heart soared when his lips kissed your hand. Sure it might have been an innocent gesture, but the way he looked at you made your heart stop for a second. Sometimes you swear he did it on purpose.
During the last academy year, the closer you got to Coriolanus, the more you realized you truly loved him, and sometimes you thought he loved you back. The walks to the academy became slower and somehow his hand always found yours. At one point you had to run to get there on time, earning the both of you harsh stares from Dean Highbottom and smirks from Sejanus.
The both of you also agreed to study together whenever you could, even including Sejanus whenever he was free. There was no doubt in your mind that either you or Coriolanus would be top of the class, and receiving the Plinth Prize. And if you were the one who came out on top, you would give Coriolanus the funds he needed, whatever they would be.
While you two studies for the last test, he smiled when you rolled his eyes. “Alright smartass, you’re going to pass.” You said. Suddenly, he pulled you into his arms, and hugged you tightly.
You then felt his voice break, “Thank you.” He softly said. “You’re my friend, I’d help you with anything.” You said, looking up at him, a smile splitting your face. As you walked to class the next day & took the exam, he had a sly smirk on his face the whole day. Even at lunch he didn’t drop it. “Someone in a real good mood.” Sejanus said, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah, what’s got you in a good mood?” You teasingly asked. “You know.” He said, looking at you, the smirk turning into a smile, which all of your mirrored.
As the two of you walked back home he had a smile on his face again. Confidence. As he stayed close behind you, you stopped when you got to his doorstep. “So, here’s to winning the Plinth Prize tomorrow.” You said, giving him one last hug, which he returned. That was when you lifted your head to look up at him, but he was already looking down at you. Once again, you couldn’t read the thoughts behind his eyes, but you could make a good guess. He only had that similar look when it was just the two of you together: admiration.
“What is it?” You asked, a nervous chuckle leaving your mouth. He only shook his head, offered you a smile, finally releasing you from the embrace. “See you tomorrow, Calanthe.” He whispered before going inside. “One day I’ll look up what that name means.” You said to yourself, walking home.
The next day, graduation day. You woke up early to get your makeup on, slicking your edges back, and, to enhance your braids, added a gold charm in the middle. Afterwards you got dressed in the outfit Tigris made for your graduation. She insisted on it and told you she wouldn’t take no for an answer. As you walked to their home, you heard your name being called from behind you. Tigris was waving you down before hugging you excitedly. “Turn around for me!” She said, making you twirl as she admired her work.
As you waited, you saw Grandma’am clip a rose and walk out of her room. “Oh, dearie don’t you look gorgeous.” She said, smiling at you and opening her arms to you. You met her in the middle and gave her a light hug. “Not a gorgeous as you, Grandma’am.” You said, smiling at her kind words. She then walked forward and after an exchange of words, pinned the rose to his vest.
His eyes finally met yours, and then they took in your dress. He walked forward and kissed your hand, a now normal occurrence between the two of you. “Shall we?” He asked, before walking the both of you out the door. As the two of you walked to the academy, you could feel his eyes on you. “You look beautiful.” He said, giving you a smile, and making your heart soar once more.
“And you look dashing today.” You complimented, not missing the red tint on his cheeks. As you two walked up the stairs, his arm looped into yours. “Never missed a class, never been late.” He said to himself. “Corio, you got this.” You said, encouraging him, he offered you a small smile just as a new and familiar voice broke the moment.
“Why Coriolanus Snow.” You saw the small smirk grow on his face. “Clemie.” He said, offering him his other arm. “Hey girl.” She said, nodding to you, and getting a smile in return. “Two girls on your arm, must be your lucky day.” Clemmie teased and making Corio roll his eyes. As she continued to talk, your mind went to the graduation. You were getting more nervous than usual.
Something felt off today, and you didn’t like it.
You didn’t realize you had stayed in a trance until Sejanus walked up beside you, breaking the gaze. “Sejanus, you made it to the reaping for once.” “And you made it to graduation, Festus, we’re both shocked.” After hearing Sejanus’ quips, you went to sit down. You didn’t know why your nerves were acting up, but you couldn’t kick this feeling. “You ok?” You heard a voice ask, Sejanus was standing over you, concern in his eyes. “I’m just nervous about today.” You said, making him nod in response.
“Well, you may be right.” He said, sitting done next to you. That made the hair on the back on your neck stand up. And the look on his face didn’t help either. “What do you mean?” You asked, but getting no answer. Then as the rest of the students sat down, you saw why he was so silent. After it was announced there would be no more Plinth Prize, you looked at Coriolanus, who had a worried expression on his face.
However, when it was announced that the graduates would be mentors of the Hunger Games, that was when you froze, and your mind started to race.
There’s 25 graduates.
There are only 24 tributes.
Someone isn’t getting a tribute.
Going from district to district, started to guess who had a good chance at winning. Your heart broke when one girl, Dill, was pulled out. You stared to wonder if she had been voted so she could die in the arena. When it got to the district 12 female tribute, it was down to you and Coriolanus. His hand found yours and held it tightly, but you didn’t know who was holding on tighter.
“The runt girl from district twelve, she belongs to Coriolanus Snow.”
And that was when you knew he was the one holding on to you. He squeezed your hand so hard you almost thought he broke it.
The tribute: Lucy Gray, was wearing a colorful dress with a corset top. You had to admit, she was beautiful, and so was her dress. You watched as she put a snake on a girls dress, making you smirk. “I love her already” you thought to yourself. But then your mind suddenly came back to reality, you didn’t have a tribute. What did I do wrong? Did I pass? Did I fail?
The only thing that broke your trance was a voice singing, then another. You saw Lucy Gray stand up, and continue to sing by herself. “YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!” She then screamed. As the rest of the people laughed at her, you and Coriolanus shared a look: I like her.
As the laughter started to die down, one voice spoke up. “If you didn’t receive a tribute, report to Dr. Gaul.” Highbottom’s voice spoke up, and then it was silent. All eyes turned toward you, and it made you want to curl up in a ball and die. Sejanus’ hand found yours, giving you a silent squeeze of encouragement, and Coriolanus’ did the same. You then walked towards the woman, a small smile gracing her face.
“Let’s have a talk, child.” She said, her hand finding your back, leading you away from the hall. You were only able to catch a small glimpse of Coriolanus’ worried expression as you went down the hallway. She started to hum a tune while she led you to her lab. You had never been here, but you always wanted to get a peek. “Guess I got my wish.”
“I’ve been watching you, dear, for a long time.” She said, going further into the room. “Almost the top of your class, but you could never quite get that edge.” Dr. Gaul said, pinching her fingers together. “Why am I here?” You asked, finally finding your voice. Dr. Gaul then raised her eyebrows, and then let out a dark chuckle. “Let me ask you: What do you crave most in this world?”
You sighed, “To survive and thrive in this world.” She nodded, “Good answer.” She said, smiling. “You and your friend, Coriolanus, you two are good friends. Bonds like that build trust, those bonds can help you live as much as they can destroy you.” Dr. Gaul said, going to one of her glass cases in her lab. You didn’t know what the hell was in it, and frankly, you didn’t want to know. “I’ve known President Ravinstill for a long time, and we both live well, and thrive.” She said, putting her hand on your shoulder before looking down at you.
“I see myself in you, child. You thirst for survival, but to thrive you need to reach for power,” that was when she gave you a deadpanned look, “that’s why I pulled you from the games.” Your eyes widened at the realization, and she smiled once more. “You don’t need the Plinth Prize when you got mommy and daddy’s money. Why settle for a housewife when you have the brains of game maker.”
You almost shouted when she finished, “Game maker?” You said, to which she nodded. “You’ve always been a curious child, a strong appetency for knowledge.” Dr. Gaul said, putting her gloved hand under your chin. “You want a look behind the curtain? You wanna know how the puppeteer makes the strings? You need to join the magic show.”
You thought about your options, but you knew this opportunity wouldn’t come around twice. Almost like she knew your answer, Dr. Gaul then took you hand, and led you deeper into her lab.
After talking for hours, you knocked on Coriolanus’ door and it immediately opened to a shocked Tigris. “Where’s Corio?” You asked, after hugging her. It didn’t take long for him to come around the corner and hugged you tightly. “What happened? Did you get hurt?” He asked, but you stopped his hand as he examined your face. “I’m okay. Dr. Gaul just pulled from the competition.” You calmly said, and immediately regretted it, the faces of Tigris and Coriolanus going from worry to shock. “Why?” He asked.
She told me she’d be mentoring me from now on. I’ll be studying under her from now on, as well as continuing my classes.” His eyebrows rose before hugging her again. “That’s great news.” He said, but then I hugged him tighter. “For a moment, I thought my life was done for.” He nodded, and then looked you deep in the eyes. “We will get through this. I promise you.” You left a few minutes later, but before you got down the street, Coriolanus caught you “Hey!” He shouted, making you turn around. He was running towards you, holding out a wrapped cloth.
“I meant to give you this at the graduation, but you were pulled away.” He said. You unwrapped it, and smiled when you saw the flower charm. You smiled and held it tightly. “I meant to get a charm for this one day.” You said, looking up at him. “Guess I beat you to it.” He said, before returning the smile. “Meet me at the train tomorrow. I have a plan on how to get in Lucy Gray’s good graces.” You nodded and went home afterwards.
The next morning you got up early and put your uniform on before walking to the station, where Coriolanus was already talking to Lucy Gray, who saw you walking up to them. “Another mentor?” She suddenly said, turning towards you, pointing a white rose in your direction, obviously a gift from Coriolanus. Smart.
That was when he turned to you, and put an arm around you. “This is Lucy Gray. Lucy Gray, this is my closest friend.” He said, and you gave her a smile. “Another rebel?” She said, looking at you. “If it fits,” you said, shrugging, before leaning closer to her. “ loved the stunt you pulled with the snake by the way.” You added, making her smirk.
The moment was cut short when a peacekeeper nudged her and the male tribute towards a vehicle. “It was lovely to meet you two.” She said, before being led away to the back of a van. You then saw his eyes go to the van, and then it clicked in your head. “Corio, don’t.” You said, but it was too late. He was running toward the van, and you were following close behind him. It finally registered what you just did when he slammed the door behind him and felt the van move, going wherever it was going.
And now here you two were.
In a vehicle.
Full of tributes who were looking at the two of you like lions to lambs. Corio put you beside him, putting you closer to the tribute from 2 and the wall. “Hi.” He said, his voice sounding weak. “You in the wrong cage pretty boy, pretty girl?” The tribute Realer asked, tilting his head to look at you. “This cage is delightful.” He said, and then Reaper went towards Corio, pinning him to the back. You yelped when you were then surrounded by the tributes. “Shit.” You thought.
Somewhere between the exchange between Corio and the other tributes, you felt the truck come to a sudden stop, getting everyone’s attention. That was when you felt the truck start to tilt forward, everyone started to slide down. In one swoop you reached for Lucy’s hand as she reached for yours as Coriolanus wrapped one arm around your waist and your free arm around his shoulders. The three of you were able to hang on to each other as the other tributes began to slide down and out of the van. The three of you followed suit after the harness broke, sending you all tumbling out of the truck.
Lucy slid down first, with you and Corio falling out last. He was able to wrap both of his arms around you before everyone let out groans and curses from falling on rocks. When you were able to look up, you realized exactly where you were: The Capitol Zoo. And if fate couldn’t make it any better, Lucky Flickerman was in front of the pen, with his entourage of cameramen. “You gotta be kidding me.” You said, groaning and leaving you head down, only to be met with a blue shirt.
As you lifted your head, you were face to face with Coriolanus, who, somehow, had managed to keep his hold on you when everyone tumbled out of the van. “You ok?” You asked, to which he nodded. “Yes. Are you ok?” He asked, and you nodded in response. His eyes went to your necklace and the rose charm attached to it, a smile blooming on his face. His hand touched it, “You put it on.” He said in a soft tone & a tender look in his eyes.
As you both smiled at each other, you felt one hand go to your cheek and to then the other to your waist. The rest of Panem melted away as his breath hit your face. You forgot about being in the capitol, being Gaul’s student, and the tributes around you as you looked in between his eyes and his lips. “Calanthe.” He whispered, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper. That was until the voice of Flickerman broke the moment. “Are those academy students?” He said, and the both of you looked up to see the camera pointed directly at you.
“You guys ok?” Lucy asked, walking up to the both of you. “Yeah, you?” You asked, getting off of Corio and helping him up. The three of you looked around, and sighed. That’s when you began to brainstorm: how could you get out of this without getting expelled? “We gotta get them to love her.” You said to yourself. You then brought your necklace to the front of your shirt before unbuttoning the top button, making the rose charm more visible. “We give them what they want: a performance.” You then walked to Lucy and began to smooth out her hair while Corio broke the white rose and tucked it behind her ear.
He then put her hand out for Lucy to take, which she accepted. He then turned and opened his arm towards you, making you raise your eyebrows. “Trust me.” He whispered, and Lucy nodded towards his arm, and that’s how you found yourself being next to him as he presented Lucy to a pair of children at the cage.
You weren’t only shocked of how he fell into the role of a mentor, but how Lucy played her part as a tribute. She had a smile on her face when she talked to the children, and a calm expression when Flickerman approached and interviewed her. You couldn’t help but smile as she talked about her dress and where she was from. The Covey sounded like it was a homely group of people. You couldn’t help but picture how the nature of district 12 looked.
That was when Lucky Flickerman turned towards you. “And who might this lovely lady be? Are you also her mentor?” He asked, the camera’s filling the microphone as it was put in front of you. An innocent smile grew on your face as you shifted your tone into a kind voice, while still having a serious edge to it. “No sir, I’m taking courses from Dr. Gaul instead of being a mentor in the games. I’m here to support my dear friend, Coriolanus Snow.” You said, smiling up at him, which he responded by squeezing you closer to him. “You both seem pretty close for dear friends. How long have you known each other?” Flickerman asked, moving the microphone to Coriolanus.
“Since the first day we went to the academy. She approached me, and we’ve been close ever since. I’ve never known a more intelligent and alluring woman.” He said, and your eyes did a double take at his choice of words. Before you could answer, peacekeepers walked in and escorted you out of the cage. “I’ll come back later.” You said to Lucy Gray, holding her hand for a moment before you were taken away, Corio coming out a minute later. As the both of you walked back to class, you kept looking up at Coriolanus.
“On a scale of one to expelled, how fucked do you think we are?” You asked, making him chuckle. “He wanted us to make them spectacles, he never said how we had to do it.” He said, nudging your shoulder, making you huff out a short laugh. You then took his hand and gripped it tight, which he reciprocated. “To survive and thrive.” You said, walking closer to the classroom. “We will survive these games,” Coriolanus softly said, before stopping you, and making you look up at him. “I promise you.”
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
248 notes · View notes
lowkeychenle · 9 months
Text
Like We Just Met [ZCL] (M)
Description: Everything else about the day is completely normal when Chenle realizes he wants to marry you. It hits him like a tidal wave, and he's itching to tell you just how much he wants to love you forever.
Genre: Fluff (literally SO MUCH FLUFF we love Chenle in this house go away if you don't) // Smut
Content Warnings: Explicit unprotected sex (it's actually sweet this time am I feeling okay), talks about marriage etc etc. Nothing really dark or upsetting in here.
Word Count: 11,292 (y'all I have no idea how this happened...)
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (feat. the rest of the Dreamies)
ISTJ 7Dream Series Masterlist
Juliet's Masterlist | Requests/Tell me what you think of this plz <3
Tag List (open for ISTJ 7Dream Series): @kunvibing
Author's Note: Lowkey? This was so fun because it's from Chenle's POV...or it's supposed to be haha. This is probably my favorite fic I've ever written catch me crying in the corner...also this gif don't mind the real tears in my eyes
Tumblr media
Nobody questioned Renjun when he said he’d invited his friend to dance practice. They brought friends in every now and then, so it wasn’t anything new. Chenle was having a bit of an off day. He kept screwing up the choreography (that he’d done seven hundred times probably in the past week alone) and even accidentally elbowed Jaemin.
Renjun’s friend had yet to show up. Chenle was beyond frustrated with the way things were going, so he let everyone know he was taking a break. He grabbed his water bottle and stomped out of the practice room.
He ended up a bit down the hallway, resting his back on the wall with his eyes closed. All he needed was a break. That had to be it.
“Are you okay?” a soft voice asked.
When he looked at you, he recoiled a bit. He’d never seen you before—he’d definitely remember—but something about you felt familiar. Like a warm aura surrounded you and infiltrated him in the best ways.
“You’re Chenle, right?” You tilted your head at him. “I’m Renjun’s friend, (Y/N). I was supposed to watch practice, but I got lost. This building is pretty big.”
“Yeah, I’m Chenle.” He blinks at you a couple more times. “Um, we’re always in the same practice room. I’ll take you over there.”
“Actually, is there a place to get some water? I forgot mine at home.” You scratched the top of your head and scrunched up your nose. “It was really hot outside.”
“It’s on the way.” He gestured down the hall with his head.
You followed him without hesitation. He was acutely aware of every step you took, of how there was only a few feet between the two of you. Even though he had no clue what to say to you, you didn’t mind walking along in silence. It was unlike him to be shy. Next to impossible for him to be starstruck.
“How long have you known Renjun for?” he asked. And why the hell had you not come around sooner?
“Oh.” You took a deep breath and pursed your lips in thought as Chenle stopped to grab you a water bottle from the kitchen. “Four years now? Five? His family knows mine, so when I came back here, his parents told him he had to help me find my way around.”
“Well, today’s pretty laid back,” Chenle explains. “We’ll probably practice for another hour or two and then go home. We’ve been at it all day.”
You hum in response, opening the cap and taking a sip. “Thank you for this. Sorry to keep you from practice.”
“Don’t be. I’m ready to get the hell out of here.” Chenle chuckles, gaze drinking you in when you’re distracted by your water. “And…they can be a little…much at first. But they’re all great people, so you’ll be fine.”
“Bold of you to assume I’m nervous.” You narrowed your eyes at him playfully.
He bit back a smile, pressing his lips into a thin line instead. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Renjun has given me plenty of warnings,” you tell him.
He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t taken you to the practice room yet. The two of you stood in the kitchen, but he knew the second you were with everyone else, the conversation was over. He didn’t want to stop talking to you, and that odd feeling of warmth settled into his chest.
“Like what?” Chenle raised his eyebrows.
“He said you’re cranky and mean.” You smiled at him, and he swore he was almost knocked off his feet. There was something about you that drew him in.
Chenle made a mental note to scold Renjun later, but he’s not necessarily wrong…he was cranky until he saw you.
“Well, in that case, what he said about everyone else is probably accurate, too.”
“You don’t look cranky,” you interjected. “You’re not mean either. Mean people don’t get strangers water bottles.”
“I’m mean to Renjun. And Jisung.”
“They’re your friends. You get a pass for your friends.” You slid one of your hands into the back pocket of your jeans, rocking on the balls of your feet as silence befell the room.
“They’re waiting for me,” Chenle says. “We should go.”
You nodded in agreement and followed him. He sulked a bit when the other members were introduced to you. They were all nice—because they always were—but when it came time to get back to practice, he found himself gravitating toward you several times.
Nearly every time he looked at you, you were already looking at him, too. Maybe it wasn’t just him that felt the weird tug. He hoped it wasn’t.
After they wrapped everything up, Chenle sat against the back wall, feeling so heavy as if he could fall asleep right there. He was exhausted.
Jaemin, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark were already on their way out the door, leaving Jisung to slump next to Chenle and Renjun to talk with you. Jisung noted how he was watching you, but he didn’t say anything right away. He drank his water and stayed quiet.
You said something to Renjun, who smiled at you and nodded. He headed for the door and waited for you outside. When Chenle realized you were coming over to him, he shot a worried glance over at Jisung.
“Would you look at that?” Jisung cleared his throat. “Time for me to go.”
Before Chenle could even grab him, Jisung was halfway to the door. Once you were in front of him, you sat down and crossed your legs.
“You did really well today.”
He chuckled. “I think that’s the worst I’ve done this comeback season.”
“Then you’re in pretty good shape.” You shrugged, picking at the seam of your jeans. “I wanted to thank you. For helping me earlier.”
“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he said. “You’re Renjun’s friend. Of course, I’d help you.”
“Right.” You brushed your hair over your shoulder and prepared to stand up. “I should go—”
“Will you be coming back?” The question shot out of his mouth, sending a blush to his cheeks in response.
“I’m not sure,” you told him. “That’s up to Renjun I guess. It was really cool to see how passionate you guys are.”
“Let me give you my number.” Chenle grabbed his phone from his pocket. “Um, just in case you get lost again. And need help finding the room.” He cringed at himself, hoping he wasn’t going to get rejected.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” You gave him the tiniest smile, but it made his heart flutter anyway.
He handed it to you with the contact app open. You didn’t even hesitate to type in your name and number. After, you sent yourself a text, and Chenle heard it ring in your back pocket. You gave it back to him, grinned, and left him sitting there in shock.
He couldn’t choose between staring at you as you left and looking down at your contact open on his screen. His stomach twisted with nerves, but the second he saw the smiley face emoji you’d put next to your name, he already knew.
You were going to be someone to him.
Mark drops something in the kitchen, snapping Chenle out of it. He looks at you, and you smile back at him. With you pressed into his side and your legs over his lap, he can’t help but grin right back.
His hand rests on your thigh, thumb sliding gently back and forth as he presses a kiss to your temple. He’d never get used to this.
After returning from the kitchen, Mark allows the game to resume. His nose scrunches as he glances between you and Chenle. “That’s a weird ass question.”
“Not weird.” Chenle shakes his head. “Critical thinking, Mark, you should try it.”
“Oh, be nice.” You shove his shoulder.
For a while now, Chenle has felt his feelings growing more than he thought possible. He’s already in love with you (thankfully, since you’ve been together almost a year now), but something about you lately has him on a whole other level. Even then, he’s not sure what it is. He decides he’ll ride it out for a while and see where it takes him.
“Why would you ask your girlfriend what year she’d take a time machine back to? Shouldn’t she be like…happiest now?” Mark asks, sipping on whatever mixed drink he’d prepared in Chenle’s kitchen.
“You’d think.” Chenle snorts, leaning back against the couch and throwing his arm around you.
“He asks me questions like this all the time,” you tell Mark. When you steal a glance at your boyfriend, his breath catches in his chest.
What the hell is going on with him lately? He can’t concentrate around you (even more than usual) and every tiny thing you do has his heart hammering against his ribcage. Soon enough, he’s sure you’ll both hear the bones crack.
“Has anyone, by chance, ever told you two that you’re gross?” Mark chuckles to himself and leans back in the recliner. “Some of us are single and lonely, you know.”
“Some of us will never be that again,” Chenle shoots back.
“Oh, you two are the worst.” Your laugh echoes pleasantly in his ears, and he subconsciously leans closer to you.
“I am curious what your answer is, though,” Mark interjects. “Since Chenle’s so sure.”
Chenle takes a sip of his own drink, nearly cringing at the bitter taste dragging down his throat. He’s not much of a drinker—social at best. But he can still appreciate the buzz and the hazy happiness that comes with it. You take his hand that dangles over your shoulder, twirling the friendship ring wrapped around his middle finger. The action is so, so simple, yet it makes his stomach turn.
If he doesn’t figure out what the hell’s going on with him soon, he’s gonna have to separate himself from you.
“Well, you’re right.” You shrug, shuffling closer to Chenle. “This part of my life has definitely been the best. But if I could go back to any time, it would probably be when we met. You only get to meet Zhong Chenle once in your life, dude. I’d do it over and over again if I could. The second I saw him, I knew he would be important to me.”
Chenle thinks back to the moment he first saw you. The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you like an actual child or the way he took in every detail of you to store in his mind forever—just in case he never got to speak to you again. He pauses, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he analyzes your answer.
Mark groans. “That doesn’t count! That was last year.”
Grabbing the pillow next to him, Chenle throws it at his friend. “Leave her alone, it was a good answer.”
But when he contemplates that thought, he’s not sure he understands what you mean. His ears burn, the tips of them turning red as he recalls how embarrassingly nervous he was around you all the time. How awkward all of your firsts together were. Everything now is so much better than back then.
Not to mention he’s looked at you the same way since that first night. His feelings for you have grown, sure, but those butterflies he used to get still torment him just about every time he sees you smile.
“Why?” Chenle finally asks.
“You were so cute,” you hum, shifting closer to him. “Everything made you nervous. You almost keeled over in embarrassment when you asked to hold my hand.”
Mark laughs, and Chenle sends a glare his way. No part of that is even anywhere near funny.
“Okay, it's your turn.” Mark gestures at you.
Chenle resists the urge to reach over and touch your face. Usually, he’s so much better about being so clingy in front of his friends and, while he would prefer Mark not seeing this side of him, he couldn’t care less when his gaze is locked with yours.
“Cool.” You nod, taking a sip of your drink. “Both of you. Hypothetical situation. Let’s say you’re drunk. You walk into a room and everyone you’ve ever loved is in there. Like…loved. Who are you going to?”
“Dude.” Mark’s jaw drops. “That’s such a shitty question for me.”
“You’ll live,” Chenle replies. “Just romantic love?”
“All of it. Platonic, romantic, family.” You purse your lips in thought.
Chenle doesn’t have to think about it. Not really. He’d rather get struck by lightning and then hit by a bus right after before admitting that so easily in front of Mark. In this case, it’s always been you. From the second you spoke to him for the first time, he was irrevocably yours. 
“You.” Chenle watches your eyebrows raise.
“Be serious,” you say. “Your parents are included in that.”
“I’m serious. You.” Chenle chuckles.
You give him a pointed look, but that’s when Mark cuts in.
“No, he’s for real. Like…that legitimately happened.” Mark leans forward, elbows digging into his thighs as he rests his head in his palms. “Do you guys not remember?”
“What are you talking about?” you ask him, frowning.
Chenle remembers. Barely, and it’s a bit foggy, but it comes back like a baseball bat upside the head as Mark starts telling the story.
Chenle’s birthday party last year. The night was barely halfway through and he was drunk enough to be stumbling over his feet. He’d heard you were coming, but he had yet to see you. Even when every other feeling was numbed by the tingling sensation the alcohol left behind, his craving to see you was all that remained. 
Mark walked next to him, having a full conversation with himself since Chenle was so fog-brained. As much as he loved Mark, there was only one person he wanted to see. Everyone he knew and loved was here—his parents, the rest of his group, and Jisung had somehow forgotten to uninvite Chenle’s ex.
He only ever dated one person before you, but he wasn’t sure he ever loved her. Regardless, there she was. Even with her standing across the room from him, he kept waiting like a lost puppy.
When you walked in, he swore the whole world stopped around him. Everyone but you was moving in slow motion before they eventually faded into nothing, darkness that was emphasized by the light you were. His breath caught in his throat, and he stopped walking.
Chenle couldn’t form a coherent thought while he stared at you, drunken stupor making it so much easier to forget the embarrassment. Mark watched him curiously as Chenle made his way over to you. He refused to waste any more time when he knew you were the one he wanted to talk to.
You had always been more confident around him than he was around you. Your face lit up when you saw him, wrapping your arms around him. He secured you in his grasp, breathing in the scent of your hair and the perfume you wore.
“Happy birthday.” Your voice is muffled a bit by his T-shirt. “Sorry I’m late, took a bit longer to get ready than I thought it would.”
He knew he should’ve let you go. People were starting to notice the way he was clinging to you, and not even being drunk could excuse that behavior. He was about ready to tell everyone except you to leave. Nothing else mattered. If he could spend his birthday with you, it would be the best one yet.
It’d been two months since Renjun had introduced you to the rest of them. Which means, he’s only known of your existence for two months, and you already command so much of his brain matter that he can’t think of anyone but you. Great.
He finally (reluctantly) let you go and led you over to the rest of the group. Nobody said anything when he made Mark scoot over so you could sit next to him. Nobody questioned it. His parents would ask him about it later, but until then, there was no reason for him to worry. After all, his crush on you was the most obvious thing in the world, so it was only a matter of time before you found out about it.
By the end of the night, he hadn’t spent enough time with you. People were starting to shuffle out, but you stayed, chatting with Renjun until only four remained. Chenle’s parents had gone to bed long ago. You were almost caught up to him on drinks, your laughs longer and your movements slower.
Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have been as brave as to walk up to you and ask you to stay the night. He didn’t mean it in a suggestive way, either. He just didn’t want you to leave yet.
“Chenle,” Renjun scolds, swatting his shoulder. “You can’t ask something like that so casually.”
“You want me to stay here? With you?” Your voice was higher than normal. Chenle accredited it to the alcohol raging in your system.
“I like when you’re here.” Chenle nodded. “You make everything calm.”
Renjun scrunched up his face, slamming his forehead into his palm. “(Y/N), you should probably go home—”
“No, it’s okay.” You brushed him off. “I’m okay with staying.”
Oh, he was in love with you. There was no other explanation for the way his heart skipped a beat when those words came out of your mouth.
Chenle doesn’t remember the rest of that night, but he does recall waking up next to you in the morning and freaking out. Alcohol made him brave, but it didn’t save him from the red-hot embarrassment of the next day.
“I didn’t even realize…” you trailed off, a small smile forming on your face. “You picked me.”
“I’ll always pick you,” Chenle responds easily, like second nature.
Mark decides it’s time for him to leave, but Chenle’s mind is still reeling with memories. With all of the firsts you said you wished you could relive. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t figure out what the fuck this feeling is. As the two of you climb into bed, he’s so distracted, he can’t fall asleep, even with you curled into his chest.
“(Y/N),” Chenle groaned when he saw you in the practice room mirror. “You gotta stop showing up here if you don’t want me to fall in love with you.”
It was a joke. Sort of.
“Right, and let you forget to eat? I think not.” You fought back every time, unphased by the way he so casually admitted he’s starting to fall for you.
At least, that was his idea of admitting it.
You walked over with the bags in your hand, sitting down on the practice room floor next to him. 
“I haven’t even been here that long,” Chenle defended himself. “I would’ve eaten after I left.”
You unloaded the contents, opening boxes. “I can go if that’s what you want.”
“Not what I said.” For some reason, he felt a sudden burst of courage. He’s known you for four months at this point, and something about today felt…right. “I was serious, you know.”
“About what?” You grabbed the drinks from the carrier.
“You.”
“What?” You recoiled, looking at him in confusion.
He contemplated telling you to forget it. That it didn’t matter, and thank you for the food instead. If you didn’t feel the same way for him, he’d be devastated. And then you’d leave him for good and take all the food with you. He was starving.
“If you keep doing nice things for me, I’m gonna fall for you.” As if he hasn’t already.
You paused, but Chenle didn’t miss the blush on your face. Clearing your throat, you looked away from him and took a deep breath. His fists clenched as he awaited your rejection, but the longer the silence stretched, the more he felt you might want him to.
“Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean it,” you finally said and brushed your hair behind your ears. Reaching forward for the food again, you gave Chenle a shocked look when he grabbed your wrist.
“You’re right. I’m not going to fall for you. I already did.”
Your jaw dropped, eyes widening as his words settled in the air around both of you. With his heart racing, he released your wrist and intertwined your fingers instead.
“I really, really like you.”
“You should really eat your food before it gets cold.” You pulled your hand from his and pushed the box closer to him.
He stared blankly at the wall, noting the sudden chill on his skin that you left behind. A sinking feeling encapsulated his chest, and he knew he ruined everything. You looked like you were ready to run.
“Forget I said anything,” he told you. “I’m sorry if that was weird.”
“Eat,” you commanded again. “I’m not talking about this with you until I know you’ve eaten. If you don’t, we’ll go off on a tangent and you’ll be starving all night.”
“Does that mean you—”
“Yes, Chenle.” You interrupted him. “Yes, I really, really like you too, which is why I want to make sure you eat.”
At that moment, Chenle realized that if he walked outside and randomly dropped dead, he’d be okay with it now that he’s gotten that confession out of you. There wasn’t a damn thing that could top that. Everything else in life would be subpar to today, so there was no point in trying.
You and Chenle ate in silence. He kept stealing glances at you, catching you doing the same to him. If all he had to do in order to get you to talk about your feelings with him was eat, he’d do it, albeit probably a bit too fast for his own good.
Chenle runs his fingers through his hair, his thumb tracing gentle shapes against the bare skin of your arm. These memories have no business popping up in the middle of the night. He has practice tomorrow. He’ll be so off his game, the other members will want to kill him.
Usually, he has no problem falling asleep, especially with you right beside him. Over the past year, you’ve probably spent more nights with him than you have at your own place. He teases you for it all the time, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Closing his eyes, he listens to the soft sounds of your breathing and allows himself to feel the way your body slots with his so easily. Everything about you is perfect. About the two of you together. He would toss and turn, but no way is he going to disturb you. Even if he can’t sleep, he’d never screw up your schedule on purpose.
“It’s so pretty.” You were in awe, staring at the sunset from Chenle’s backyard. He’d set up a picnic date for the two of you, and afterward, you were watching the sun fade below the treeline while lying on top of a red blanket.
His fingers were intertwined with yours, something that had become so normal for you. Two weeks since his confession, and it was the second date he planned. He wondered, obsessed over, even, what your thought process was on all of this. Were you happy? Did he make you happy?
He wanted to kiss you when he confessed to you. And while he came close to it on your first date, he decided against it. It had to be perfect. Nothing was good enough for you in his mind, especially when all he wanted was to make sure you knew just how he felt about you.
How was he supposed to tell you that?
He’d already said he fell for you, but that didn’t begin to cover it. Not really. You made him want to put in effort, made him crave your happiness like it was the very oxygen he breathed. At the same time, he didn’t want you to think he didn’t want to kiss you. Hell, he’d already dreamed of it, for fuck’s sake, so that definitely wasn’t the issue.
Lost in thought, he’s only snapped out of it by the way you rolled over, lying on your stomach so you can get a good look at his face. You rested your head on your right palm, your left finding his bicep.
“You’re so perfect,” he hummed, twirling your hair with his fingers. “Could look at you forever.”
“Some people might have an issue with that.” You laughed.
“We’re the only ones that matter,” he responded.
Your smile slowly faded, a look of longing replacing it as your gaze softened.
God, he wanted to kiss you. He needed to.
All thoughts of the perfect moment have fled from his brain. Any moment would be perfect as long as it’s you.
He sat up and you leaned forward, and before he knew it, his nose brushed yours. Your eyes fluttered shut in preparation. The heat of the sun sank into his skin. Your perfume wafted from you, intertwining with the air and suffocating him in the best ways. If he could pick one scent to smell for the rest of his life, it would be yours.
Was it normal to have these thoughts so early?
Why was he thinking of that right now? Literally the worst possible time.
“Can I?” he whispered, scared to ruin everything.
“Yes.”
As soon as the word left your mouth, he kissed you. Everything about you was soft, so he shouldn’t have been so surprised to find your lips the same way. His hands shook as he touched your waist.
He was already in big trouble. There wasn’t a single part of him that wanted to stop there. His heart thudded so loud, he was halfway sure you could hear it, too. It felt like sparks flew between you two, absolute electricity coursing through every single one of his veins, heating up his bloodstream and making the thought of pulling away from you the absolute worst case scenario.
You moved away first, gasping for breath. Chenle craved tugging you back to him. His body reacted to you in ways it had never reacted to anyone else. He didn’t want to take it too far, but he sure as hell didn’t want to stop, either.
He couldn’t describe the way you felt. The way you tasted. Everything about you was so heart-achingly perfect, he wanted to experience you all the time. He wanted to rewind time so he could kiss you again for the first time, and he’d do it over and over and over again.
Something about first kisses set him on fire. He was absolutely sure he’d kiss you more. In fact, he was seconds away from it. But the adrenaline coming from the very first brush of your lips on his wasn’t something he’d ever be able to recreate.
“Again.” You leaned in once more.
He met you in the middle eagerly, hand finding the back of your head before he turned you so you were lying on your back. Half of his weight pressed against you, but he did his best to keep himself lifted up so you weren’t uncomfortable.
Unforgettable heat swarmed him, the sun caressing his skin as your fingers gently traced down the back of his neck. Goosebumps formed, but he could hardly pay attention to them. The entire world was gone, and you were everything, the only person remaining in a sea of nothingness. He wanted you. Needed you.
This was technically your second kiss, but in his mind, it was still the first since they happened almost at the same time. He hadn’t stopped to take a breath in much too long, but he’d rather suffocate than separate from you.
He stopped when your breath hitched, completely lost in the sound. When he wasn’t focusing on your mouth anymore, he realized why—his hand had somehow found its way to your upper thigh. His face burned as he removed it.
“I didn’t…” he trailed off, scanning over your face for any hint of what you were feeling. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
You chuckled at him, pushing his shoulder. “You wish that excuse would work on me.”
The sky faded into a beautiful lilac color, the kind that only appeared when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. Clouds drifted effortlessly, stars beginning to shine.
“Should we go inside?” Chenle asked. “It’ll get cold without the sun.”
Whenever he looked at you, he knew you were different. He couldn’t place how, but nobody else had ever made him feel the way you do. Like his heart was going to burst out of his chest while simultaneously stopping and also skipping every other beat. He didn’t even know how he was alive anymore.
In the last two weeks since his confession, the boys had told him how much happier he was. How he was striving with more effort lately and trying his best at any given moment of the day. You were his motivation. You made him want to be the absolute best he could be, and even as new as the relationship was, he’d already known you for months—he was nervous about you deciding you wanted something else. Someone who wasn’t him.
The moment before replayed in his head, and he heard that breath hitch on repeat while he awaited your answer. He did his best to stop thinking about it, but nothing worked. All he wanted to do was kiss you again, over and over and over until the literal end of time.
“Yeah.” You nodded. “Let’s go inside.”
His cheeks redden just thinking of that memory. The first time he ever kissed you, and he royally fucked up because his hand didn’t know how to stay put. At this point, it’s clear he’s not going to be able to fall asleep. He hates the idea of leaving you in bed alone, but he’s only going to disturb you if he doesn’t plan on sleeping.
Sliding away from you carefully, he quietly gets up and heads into the kitchen. He runs his fingers through his hair. His hands down his face. He must be sentimental today, because he can’t stop thinking about you for the life of him. Every memory from the last year pokes at his head, and he has no clue how to handle it.
Patting his cheeks, he heads over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. Photos of the two of you are framed up on the wall. There’s one picture in particular he always says is his favorite, but he refuses to tell you why.
The two of you were sitting on the floor, and you had the cutest glare on your face. He sees the adoration gleaming in your gaze even though you look about ready to strangle him. In your defense, you probably were. He lets out a tiny laugh, tracing over the frame. 
There’s even one with Chenle between you and Jisung, and a group picture with you and the boys. Chenle loves his friends dearly, and the way they’ve welcomed you with open arms says a lot about both your relationship with them and his potential future with you. Everyone in his life loves you. You’re the one they call when Chenle’s upset or if he’s off his game, and no matter when or where this is happening, you show up to make him feel better.
He could be having the worst day of his entire existence, and a simple ‘I love you’ passing from your lips has him forgetting everything shitty about the world. Looking back at the pictures, he’s drawn back into memory.
He heard the birds outside his window before he saw the gleaming sun. His eyes fluttered open while he groaned quietly at the sudden change of brightness. Your body was like a fireball, your skin searing hot against his, but it did little to bother him. His groan turned into a sigh of content, and he wrapped his arms around you tighter. Fingertips trailing down your bare spine, he kissed your forehead.
Three months together, and every night spent with you made him fall deeper in love. He’d never known peace as he did at that moment. No interruptions, just the two of you basking in each other’s embrace.
He could’ve stayed like that forever—he wanted to, but glancing at the clock, he realized how close it was to noon. Jaemin would be there soon, and the last thing Chenle needed was him in his house when you were naked in his bed.
He reluctantly got up, dressing himself before grabbing some clothes for you. You have a drawer, multiple, actually, but he picked his own T-shirt for you to wear. When he made it over to you, you were stirring.
“You got up.” You pouted at him, staring at him through half-closed eyes. “And you have clothes on.”
Chenle laughed. “Sorry, love. Jaemin will be here soon.”
“It’s that late?” you asked.
Chenle nodded, setting the clothes down next to you. He kissed you softly, gently, a kiss so barely there it left you leaning forward to try to continue it. Cupping your cheek, he brushed his thumb along your skin.
You didn’t need help getting dressed, but he did it anyway. He loved the way you looked in his T-shirts, and even though it’s long enough to cover you, no way he’d risk it. Once you were finished, the two of you got ready for the day. You brushed your teeth together, he watched you brush your hair, and by the time you’re done, Jaemin was walking in the front door.
The three of you sat on the floor around Chenle’s coffee table, playing a game. He can’t remember what the game was anymore, only that you were terrible at it and that he loved winning.
Jaemin teased both of you the whole time, ruffling Chenle’s hair on multiple occasions. As much as he’d love to deny it, Chenle enjoyed that Jaemin liked the two of you together. It was almost like an affirmation, even if he didn’t need one.
Being the professional picture-snapper he was, Jaemin took the picture now hanging up on Chenle’s wall. You, with your arms crossed over your chest and a big pout on your face, and Chenle, smiling widely at you with such adoration in his eyes it should’ve been impossible.
“Lele?” Your soft voice breaks him away from his memory. He turns to you quickly, heart instantly halting in his chest when he sees his shirt on you.
“What are you doing up?” he asks.
“I was gonna ask you that.” You rub your eyes, feet shuffling on the floor as you walk over to him.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he replies and takes you in his arms with ease. “Didn’t want to bug you, sunshine.”
You don��t respond. All you do is bury your head in his chest and breathe him in. He runs his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head. With all the lights off, the only illumination is the full moon outside as it casts shadows on the ground. The faint blue makes you that much more ethereal to him.
“You okay?” he whispers.
“Mm,” you hum in response. “This is nice.”
Chenle smiles. “Yeah, it is. Always is.”
After a bit of silence and rocking you gently, an idea sparks. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, finding the playlist he made specifically for when he thinks about you, and sets it on the counter. You stare at him in tired confusion, but when one of his arms wraps around your waist, you catch on.
“What are you doing?” Humor is laced in your voice, but the sweet look on your face tells him his actions are making you happy. That’s his goal, constantly. All he wants is to make you happy.
“Checking something off the bucket list,” he replies, slowly turning you to the soft beat.
“Something’s missing,” you say as he twirls you.
He steals a glance at the way his shirt rides up your legs, showing just a peek of your panties beneath it.
“What?” he asks, pulling you back to him.
“Sing to me.” You place your hand on his chest.
His heart betrays him at that moment. It rages, and he knows you can feel it. Chenle sings in front of thousands of people all the time, but something about you is different. Something about you right now is different.
“What’s going on up in there?” You run your fingers through his hair. “You’ve been all weird today.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admits. “Everything. From the moment we met up until this…it keeps repeating over and over again.”
“Welcome to my world,” you replied, grasping his shoulders. You massage them gently as you sway along with the music.
The confession from you makes him smile. At least he’s not the only one doing constant circles in his head. He calms a bit, and when a new song plays, he sings to you. Your body immediately relaxes into his, as if every stress you’ve ever had has left you without hesitation.
Chenle loves to sing. He does it all the time, and he only wants to keep getting better. To have someone like you as his partner, someone who supports him endlessly and genuinely loves his voice…it’s unparalleled.
He’s not sure how long the two of you are like this, or how long he’s singing for, but song after song, all he knows is that you’re smiling. You’re looking at him with unmatched adoration in your eyes, pure love. Nobody else has ever looked at him in this way, and he doesn’t want them to.
He wants to stay here with you and watch you love him in ways he’s never been loved before.
He stops. His singing fades out, and he furrows his eyebrows as he finally, finally realizes what’s been happening to him. You tilt your head, able to ask him questions without saying anything. His chest feels like it’s going to burst.
You’re it. 
You’re everything, and he’s going to marry you.
He’s going to spend the rest of his life striving to make sure you love him as much as you do right now, if not more.
It seems like you feel it, too. Your face softens and you reach up to trace along his cheekbone. He leans into your touch, chasing the warmth like it’s the last time he’ll ever feel it.
“I…” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “I’m so fucking in love with you.”
“I know.” You grin so wide, Chenle almost thinks it’ll split your face in two.
“Good.” He brushes your hair behind your ear. “I hope I’m doing a good job in showing you that every day.”
You pause, hands trailing down from his cheeks to his shoulders. “I have never once doubted that you love me, Lele. Are you sure everything’s okay?”
“I promise you I’ve never felt better,” he replies. “Just checking in with you.”
“You do so much more than you realize. No matter how busy you are, you text me to tell me you love me or that you’re thinking about me. You practice non-stop with the boys but you still make an effort with me when you could easily use that as an excuse. There is not one thing I could ask for that you don’t already do.” You press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll never doubt you.”
“Sometimes I worry,” he admits. “You make me…want to be better. In every way possible. In my career, in my life, with you. And if I’m not being better every day, then I don’t deserve you.”
“Chenle.” You give him a pointed look. “When I think back to the first day we met, I remember how…how you acted from the first time you spoke to me. At the time, I really thought I was crazy, but I knew you’d be someone to me. You didn’t even know me, but you were so kind. And now that we’re here like this, you haven’t changed. There’s no getting better. You’re already the best.”
“How do you do that?” He chuckles, kissing your forehead.
“Do what?”
“Know exactly what to say.”
“That’s my special talent,” you tell him.
“We should get back to bed,” Chenle says, sleep weighing on him. “Meeting the boys tomorrow.”
He grabs his phone from the counter, his heart full and warm as he leads you back to his bedroom. This time, as he’s lying with you pressed to his chest, he’s able to fall into his dreamland.
Despite his lack of sleep, Chenle is full of energy the next day. He wakes up and makes you coffee just the way you like before sitting on the edge of the bed by your sleeping form. When he sets the cup on the nightstand, you stir, turning over to face him.
“You’re gonna be late,” you mumble, even though you have no idea what time it is.
Chenle chuckles, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay? You can stay here if you want. Wanted to tell you I love you before I left.”
“Love you, too,” you say with a tired smile, giving his hand a squeeze.
“Drink your coffee before it gets cold. I’ll grab dinner for us on my way back.”
Walking away from you feels like someone’s trying to rip his heart out of his chest. You’re an extension of him at this point, and after his sudden realization last night, all he wants to do is spend the day curled up with you.
Luckily for him, his day passes by pretty quickly. He got a lot done today, and he was proud of that. You’d be proud of him, too. He’s itching to get home and tell you everything that happened. Staying true to his word, he picks up your favorite takeout.
He’s going to be honest with you about what was going on with him yesterday. It’s the right thing to do—and in a perfect world, you’ll feel the same way he does. He hasn’t felt this nervous since he admitted his feelings for you. Even though that side of him feels worlds away now, he remembers it like it was yesterday.
But the restaurant isn’t the only stop he makes.
He’s shaking by the time he gets back. Is a year really enough time? It is for him, but what if you think he’s insane?
When he arrives, he’s not expecting what you’ve done at all. The main lights are off, but a dim golden glow from the strips along the wall and the candles illuminate the room enough. He sets the bag down on the table, completely forgetting about the food as he searches for you.
“(Y/N)?”
“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be,” you tell him, walking out of his bedroom while still putting in an earring.
His throat dries. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words could ever justify the way you look right now. You put on a dress, one of his favorites, and he’s in jeans and a T-shirt.
You kiss his cheek. “I figured you deserve something nice to come home to.”
“You’re my something nice.” He wraps his arm around your waist. “Should I change?”
“We’re not going anywhere.” You shake your head. “Just relax and enjoy your gorgeous girlfriend.”
“Oh, I can get on board with that.” He allows you to lead him back to the table.
Once he’s taking the food out of the bag, he keeps stealing glances at you. You put in all this effort for him, and he knows how much work it must’ve been to hang up all these lights. The golden glow looks ethereal against your skin.
“Before we eat, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He clears his throat to stop it from collapsing in on itself, but it doesn’t work.
“What’s up?” You set your elbow on the table and rest your head on your palm. “Is everything alright?”
“Everything’s perfect, actually.” He takes a deep breath, reaching to grab your free hand. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” You bite back a laugh.
“You can’t make fun of me for what I’m about to tell you.” He gives you the most serious look he can muster, and you nod.
“I wouldn’t do that,” you reassure him. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I…I want to love you forever.” He gulps. “And when I think of everything we’ve gone through and been through together, I seriously can’t imagine ever trying to have anyone else fill this spot you hold in my life.”
You perk up a bit, gaze staring into his. God, he loves how interested you are in what he has to say. How you’re listening to him so intently. His thumb rubs over your knuckles as he tries to think of the words he wants to use.
“I want to marry you. Call me crazy if you want, tell me you hate the idea, that’s fine, but I had to tell you. We obviously can’t get married now, or probably any time soon because of my contract, but I want you to know that it’s what I want. It’s what’s going to happen if you want it, too.”
You clear your throat and cover your mouth with your hand, eyes welling. Chenle’s heart aches seeing this reaction, knowing you feel as strongly as he does. He reaches into his pocket and puts a small box on the table in front of you.
“It’s not the real thing. Not yet. But I want you to know how serious I am, because if I was able to marry you, I would’ve done it yesterday.” He opens it, revealing a simple band in it. “Subtle enough where people won’t ask questions, but we’ll know.”
“Chenle, are you being serious right now?” You sniffle. “This is a very cruel prank.”
“The guys and I sat down together today to write a song. I think you’ll love it, so when we record it I’m sneaking you a copy. Anyway, we were there for twenty minutes, and words were just flowing out of me. I wrote about you. About how you make me feel, and I think anyone who knows about us will understand that when they listen to the song.”
He pauses to swallow past the lump in his throat.
“I want you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life proving to you why I deserve that. Let me put this ring on you, and this can be the start.”
You quickly wipe your face as you nod. He takes your left hand, grabs the ring out of the box, and slips it on your middle finger.
“One day, this will be real.” Chenle catches another one of your tears. “I love you. There is not one thing in this world that could change that.”
His heart pounds in his chest as he watches your reaction. He wants to touch you and kiss you after pouring his thoughts out to you, but he needs to make sure you’re feeling the same way. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you.
His palms are sweaty and he can barely sit still. You groan, giving one last aggressive swipe below your eyes before you launch up from your chair and end up in his lap. You bury your head in his neck, squeezing him tighter than you should. He instinctively wraps his arms around your waist, softly chuckling at your outburst.
“You better not change your mind.” Cupping both of his cheeks, you try your best to look angry. “If you do, I’m marrying you anyway.”
His own vision blurs at the sight of you. You love him as much as he loves you, and you want to be with him forever.
You want to be with him forever.
The emotions rioting inside him surprise even him, and he blinks quickly to try and suppress the tears. It’s no use, because as soon as you notice, you start crying again. He groans and drops his head back on the chair, squeezing you closer to him.
“You’ll be the death of me,” Chenle says.
“Kiss me, you idiot.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. His mouth finds yours, both of you falling into each other’s rhythm. Saltiness from your tears lingers on your lips. He weaves his fingers through your hair, but no matter what he does, you’re just not close enough.
Pulling away from you, he rests his forehead on yours. “You should eat, sunshine.”
“You expect me to be able to eat after all of that?” You furrow your eyebrows. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”
“You’ll be sad if it gets cold,” he reminds you.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be sad again,” you whisper.
All thoughts escape him. Nothing else exists except for you, wrapped around him like a damn koala bear. He rests his hand on your thigh and lets your words sink deep into him.
Moments like these are hard to explain, he thinks. He’s only like this around you, so lost in his connection with you that he’s got nothing else on his mind. Anything and everything you say to him is tattooed in the darkest ink on his soul, until he’s covered in everything he wants to be for you.
“Promise me you’ll always look at me like that.” You break the silence, running your fingers through his hair and smiling.
“I promise.” He nods, barely realizing how he’s leaning forward.
Your eyes flutter shut as he inches closer. He kisses you softly, almost as if he fears he’ll break you. His fingers splay out across the small of your back and he traces shapes into the soft fabric of your dress. You’re overwhelming. His love for you is, too. So much so, he feels as if he’s going to burst out of his skin. He’s going to wake up and everything will have been a dream, because there’s no way he’d ever done anything in his life to deserve someone like you.
You hum into his mouth, rolling your hips once. His breathing stutters as his first instinct is to lift toward you. At first, he wants to stay like this, you clinging onto him like you’d be lost without him, but when you grind down a second time, he feels a twitch in his pants.
It’s been over a week since the last time he’s been inside you thanks to his schedules. And now you’re on top of him, wearing his favorite dress of yours, and kissing him like you’ll never be able to feel him again after tonight.
He’s tired, but he’s never too tired for you. Brushing your hair away, he leans down to kiss your neck, licking the expanse of your soft skin. Your pulse thunders beneath his tongue, and he has to fight the urge to bite down.
Touching you like this is different when he knows he’ll never lose you. You’re his forever.
His lips press against the sensitive spot below your ear, and the short moan escaping you just about sends him up the wall. When he pulls away to get a good look at you, your eyes are dark, lips already swollen from the way he kissed you.
He tries to catch his breath while he silently asks you if this is what you want. You nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Standing, he lifts you up until your legs are secure around his waist, and he grabs your ass with one hand and the back of your head with the other.
Mouths attached, he doesn’t separate from you until he’s setting you down on his bed. He barely has time to appreciate the candles you lit in here, too, the soft scent of vanilla flooding his senses. You already try to push his T-shirt up, anything to feel his skin on yours. He obliges, pulling it over his head before returning to kissing you like his life depended on it. When your hands find the button on his jeans, he grabs your wrist.
“Patience, baby.” Chenle runs his fingers up and down your thigh. “We have the rest of our lives. Let me take my time with you tonight.”
Just like that, you’re putty in his hands. He smirks at the realization. Sneaking his touch up your leg, the hem of the dress moves to accommodate him. He stops when he feels the lace of your panties.
“Did you dress up for me twice, sunshine?” he hums.
“Always,” you say, shamelessly staring at his lips. “Do you love me, Chenle?”
His whole body vibrated from those words. They made him feel at a frequency he hadn’t quite reached yet, and all he wanted to do was rip that damn dress off.
“More than anything.”
He can’t really say it’s ‘like second nature’ anymore. There’s nothing second about it. This is you. Anything to do with you is first nature, no matter what it is. His world revolves around you, everything he does is based on what you want, and he wouldn’t change that in any way.
“Show me,” you whisper, so intoxicating he almost crumbles to his knees right in front of you.
How embarrassing that all it takes is two words to have him give in to you. He’s straining against his pants now, his cock aching to be free and buried inside you.
“Don’t worry. I will.” He kisses you again, soft and sweet like his hand isn’t so, so close to your dripping, eager core. Heat radiates from you, and all he wants is to be consumed by it.
He drags your panties down your legs, nails gently scratching your skin on the way down. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you try to regain your breath, but he loves the way you’re so desperate for him. The way you want him just as much as he wants you.
He doesn’t want to be patient anymore. Every cell in his body is urging him to connect with yours, but he wants to take care of you. That side of him always wins, otherwise both of you would probably be done already.
His finger dances along your entrance. He inhales sharply as your wetness coats his skin. You move your hips toward him, practically begging him for stimulation. He teasingly nudges your clit, pleasantly surprised by the way your body jolts.
Mouth brushing yours, he takes the second of distraction to slide two fingers inside you. As your lips part to release a moan, he mirrors the action, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly, slowly thrusts his hand.
Your walls squeeze so hard, he curses. He could fuck you a thousand times, and you’d still be as tight as you are right now. His heart goes straight into overdrive, but all the blood in his body is shooting down to his cock. He’s painfully hard, rocking back and forth gently.
He kisses you, lips working against yours in a perfect harmony. Your sounds are his favorite. He loves knowing it’s him making you feel this way, that he has the power to make your knees weak and your pussy throb.
He lets out a moan when he scissors his fingers, trying his best to prepare you. God, you’re so warm and wet and tight, he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to last long tonight. His pace quickens, sounds of your slickness filling the room.
You call out his name, back arching as you grasp desperately at his shoulders. He leans in and kisses your cheek, making sure to press his palm into your clit every time he’s knuckle deep. 
“You’re perfect, baby,” he whispers with his lips against your ear, voice rough. “I love you so much. So fucking much.”
You tense, pussy clamping down hard on his fingers as your hips buck. He swears he can see the pleasure running up your spine in the way you arch and shake. Your nails dig into his shoulders, but he’s not in the right mind to care. Your mouth opens, sounds pouring out as you finish. He loves you all the time, but one of his favorite looks on you is when he watches you orgasm—your face so overcome with pleasure he caused…he would never get enough of it.
He keeps moving until he’s sure you’ve come down from your high. When he brings his fingers up to his mouth to suck your juices off, you watch longingly, the dark look in your gaze enough to have his cock twitching in his pants.
You slide off the bed, forcing him to take a couple steps back. He’s not sure what you’re going to do at first. Your struggle to reach your zipper, and as much as he wants to bend you over with the dress still on, he wants to be gentle with you tonight. He doesn’t get to make love to you often, and that’s all he’s going to do tonight.
Instead of watching you attempt to reach it, he turns you around and pulls you to him until your back is against his chest. His hand is splayed out across your stomach, holding you so you feel how hard he is.
“I’m going crazy,” you mutter, dropping your head back. “I need you so bad.”
He moves your hair out of his way, kissing the base of your neck quickly before he unzips you. Moving slowly on purpose, he lets his finger drag along your spine on the way down. You shiver, pushing yourself back into him.
“I’m gonna make love to you.” He finally lets himself bite down on your shoulder as he nudges the straps down. “For the rest of our lives. Nobody but me.”
“Nobody but you,” you respond, allowing the dress to pool at your feet.
He turns you around, hands immediately finding your ass and squeezing it. Within seconds, he has your bra unclasped and across the room. “So beautiful.”
When your hands find his jeans, he doesn’t stop you this time. You push them down his legs, desperate to have him inside you. Once his jeans are off, you palm him through his boxers, and he needs you so badly, that simple touch almost finishes him off. That would’ve been embarrassing.
He takes off the remaining fabric separating you two before leading you over to the bed. You lie in the middle, and he climbs on top of you. He kisses you passionately, tongue already dancing with yours, both of you more than ready. His cock is so hard, he’s only half convinced he won’t cum as soon as he’s in.
He nudges your clit with his leaking tip, moving down to your entrance to apply just enough pressure before pulling away. You whine, desperate for more.
“Chenle, please.”
His head dips down as he continues teasing you, wrapping his lips around your nipple. You whimper, running your fingers through his hair. Having you so desperate for him makes him want to give you everything you’re asking for, but something makes him wait.
“Please,” you cry out, lifting your hips up. “Need you.”
He’s ready to fall apart from you words alone. Pulling away from your chest, he reaches down to line himself up with you. He watches you closely as he pushes his throbbing cock into your quivering pussy. Your eyes roll back as you arch into him.
Your walls swallow him, velvet clamping down on him. He clenches his jaw as he bottoms out and fists the sheets next to your head.
“So perfect,” he whispers, kissing your jawline.
One of his favorite things about you is how unafraid you are to look at him. Pleasure weighs on your eyelids, and you try your best not to close them, but even like this, you never look away.
He’s fully inside you, his cock seated within your fluttering walls. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you, so he gently rocks his hips to help you adjust. He kisses you everywhere he can reach.
“You always take me so well,” he praises you, nipping the base of your neck.
He’ll never get over how perfectly he fits between your legs, like this space was made for him.
“Move,” you tell him, smacking his shoulder.
He lets out a soft chuckle, but lowers his mouth to yours as he starts a steady pace. You squeeze him so tight, it’s like your body doesn’t want to let him out of you. He pulls out until his tip is barely inside, and then pushes back in just as slowly. It wreaks havoc on your body, your wetness squelching every time he moves.
He wants you to feel all of him. Feel the entirety of his cock rubbing your walls with every thrust.
Somehow, it’s hotter this way. A thin sheen of sweat covers his skin as he takes his time with you. Sure, he gets sweaty when he fucks you, but nothing compares to the close intimacy of love making—his chest brushing against yours with every thrust, long, sweet moans filling the otherwise quiet bedroom.
“You sing so pretty,” Chenle mutters, tonguing the sensitive spot below your ear. “You like the way I feel?”
Before he can even process what you’re doing, you wrap your legs around his waist and roll until you’re on top of him. He’s flat on his back, eyes flitting along your body like he hasn’t had a real chance to see it yet.
Candle light illuminates your skin, and the sight makes his cock twitch. He runs his hands along your sides, squeezing your hips.
Chenle likes being in control. He likes guiding you in a way that has you both in shambles by the end, and he truly underestimated how beautiful you’d look on top of him. You lift up, teasing him as slow as he was moving with you, but between the sight and the feeling, he feels an all too-familiar tingling sensation at the base of his length.
It’s too soon for him, so he decides to tug you down, holding you there while his eyes close and his head thuds against the mattress. He doesn’t need to say a word to you.
“Chenle.” You stroke a hand down his chest. “It’s okay. You don’t need to hold back for me.”
“Just…need a second.” He gulps.
When he finally catches his breath, he sits up, chest pressing against yours.
“This was supposed to be about you,” he says, moving back slightly to fit his hand between the two of you. “Showing you my love and everything.”
He finds your clit with his thumb, staring at you intently as your wetness makes it easy for him to rub circles. His other hand still firmly grips your waist, which only allows you to squirm instead of bouncing on him like you crave to do.
“I need to move,” you whimper, grinding down. “Please.”
He nods, loosening his grip on you. You brace yourself on his shoulders, finally taking his cock the way you want it. His nails dig into your thigh while he continues his work on your bud, and it only spurs you on. You move faster, no doubt trying to chase your orgasm.
His moans get louder, matching yours. If his hands weren’t so occupied, he’d want to squeeze your ass or tweak your nipples. Anything to bring you higher. He changes the patterns his thumb rubs, and it’s like a jolt of electricity runs through your body.
You curse, dropping your head on his shoulder as you nod. “Don’t stop, Lele.”
With both of you hanging so close to the edge, he waits until you’re sitting back down on his cock to buck his hips up. He doesn’t want to finish first, but he’s so close, all the warning signs of his impending high are getting far too real.
“Gonna cum,” he tells you, releasing your thigh to grab your ass.
Your walls clamp down on him hard, a long, pleasured sound escaping you as you grind down on him. Back arching, your head falls back. Your orgasm hits both you and Chenle like a freight train, and within seconds, everything inside him explodes, and he’s spilling his cum deep inside you while telling you over and over again that he loves you.
You crumple into his chest. He runs his fingers through your hair, whispering praises to you between head kisses.
“I’m gonna lay you down, sunshine,” he says.
You nod, and he turns you so he can put your back on the mattress. He carefully pulls out of you, putting his boxers back on before going into the bathroom to grab you a towel. This is one of his favorite ways to see you. Your eyes are closed, hands on your cheeks. You look like he’s fucked all the energy out of you, and he loves that he has the capability to do that.
He cleans you up, then grabs a clean pair of panties for you and one of his T-shirts.
“I have an idea,” he says.
“What is it?” You wrap your arms around him.
“You pick whatever movie you want, and I’ll go warm up your dinner?” He raises his eyebrows at you.
You fake a gasp. “Are you saying you’re going to feed me in bed?”
“After all of that, I’d agree to just about anything you want.” He chuckles when you shove his shoulder. Grabbing your hand, he twirls the band on your finger. “Wait here for me?”
When he walks out of the room, he stops at the doorway to watch you excitedly lunge for the remote. It doesn’t take long for him to warm up the food, turn off the lights, and blow out the candles in the kitchen.
The rest of the night is spent with the two of you sitting against the headboard, laughing along to your favorite movie while eating your favorite takeout. So many thoughts have come and gone from Chenle’s brain in the past couple days alone, but he’s more than happy he gets to sit here with you every night for the rest of his life.
He’s lost in your laugh and the way you smile at him and how you make his heart race with the simplest things. None of the other members knew about the ring he bought you, but he’ll tell them soon.
After the food is gone, Chenle cleans it up. There’s still half a movie left, so when he gets back, he pulls the comforter back so you can cuddle up to him for the remainder. Even though the candles have long since been put out, vanilla still clouds the air.
“Love you,” Chenle whispers, kissing your temple.
“Love you, too.” You sigh in content, resting your head on his chest.
He knows that means you’re only seconds from sleep, and he rubs your arm soothingly. The movie continues to play, but neither of you are paying attention anymore—you’re asleep, and Chenle’s thinking about what kind of wedding dress you’ll wear.
706 notes · View notes
br-disaster · 2 months
Text
CQL's crybaby Nie Mingjue appreciation post
I always see people talking about CQL's Nie Mingjue crying constantly, and they're right to do so, but I haven't seen those scenes compiled so I thought it would be a good idea to do it, since it's one of my favorite things about this version of NMJ.
*I'll consider the times he was tearing up too because I think they're important, but i'm only considering "full crying scenes" the ones where there are actual tears falling down his face.
*It's all in chronological order.
Episode 41 - defending Meng Yao
Tumblr media
Why is NMJ crying? Crying is his response to everything, okay? NMJ is very emotionally invested in everything he does. He's very mad these men for saying terrible things about Meng Yao while benefiting from his labour. He's so emotionally invested in everything he does.
Is it a full crying scene? No, he tears up the entire time he's scolding the cultivators but those tears don't leave his eyes.
Episode 10 - being threatened by Wen Chao
Tumblr media
Why is NMJ crying? Wen Chao is being very disrespectful, as he often is. And it's understandable, NMJ is hurt, his home was invaded, some of his soldiers are dead and it's overall a terrible time for everybody. To be honest, though, I think he's tearing up out of pure rage because Wen Chao just mentioned what Wen Xu did to the Cloud Recesses.
Is it a full crying scene? No. I almost didn't include this one because it's very subtle but his eyes look too shiny to be ignored.
Episode 10 - expelling Meng Yao from the Unclean Realm
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Why is NMJ crying? It's a very emotional and conflicting moment on top of a terrible day, on top of a very stressful period of his life. He was betrayed by his friend who saved his life right afterwards; his home was invaded and they're at war! He has every right to cry as much as he did.
Is it a full crying scene? Hell yes, and it's glorious. They even end the episode with his miserable little crying face.
Episode 41 - Everything, really
Tumblr media
Why is NMJ crying? Everything sucks, he's defeated and hurt in front of the man who killed his father. He didn't get his personal revenge and he didn't free the world from Wen Ruohan's tyranny either. Instead, he watched helplessly as his men were murdered and now he has to watch his former deputy mock his father's death and threaten to have Wen Ruohan damage Baxia like he did with his father's blade.
Is it a full crying scene? No, only because he's being very brave about it. I have no idea how those tears didn't fall.
Episode 41 - confrontation at Jinlintai
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Why is NMJ crying? Very difficult topics being discussed here. People who are way better with words than I am have already written amazing meta on how having his worldview challenged like this affects NMJ emotionally, so I won't go there. But between the song of turmoil making him more emotionally unstable and the disdain with which JGY talks about the men he killed, evoking this very traumatic moment I just mentioned on the previous crying scene; I think it's very understandable.
Is it a full crying scene? Yes! Most of the time he's holding back tears, but you can see the one dramatic tear running down his nose (on the outside of it) on the second gif!
In conclusion: he has so much to cry about, it's surprising he didn't cry more, it must have taken so much strength (or he was just crying offscreen, which is plausible, because sadly this isn't The Nie Mingjue show and we don't see him all the time)
Anyway, I am not here to claim he's not a crybaby because he absolutely is, but on the actual show we only have 2 full crying scenes. They were so impactful it feels like much more crying happened. Fatal Journey is it's own thing so I made a separate post for those tearing up, crying and emotional breakdown lovely scenes <3
182 notes · View notes
geralts-yenn · 1 year
Text
Bonfire
Tumblr media
Captain Syverson (Sandcastle) x reader (female reader, no race, body type or physical features mentioned other then blushing)
summary: After months you finally see Sy again. But how will he react to you after he cancelled his date before he left?
warnings:  fingering, oral (f and m receiving), protected p-i-v sex
word count: 6,7k
A/N: I had this in my WIPs for sooo long, probably wrote this three times, deleted, changed, wrote it again. Sy just didn't do what I wanted to. But when I stumbled over that gif I knew I had to finish this story and I think I am finally happy with everything. Hope you like it too.
More inspo boards
I'd love to get some feedback so please don't hesitate to reblog, comment, ask. Like all my fellow writers I long for every bit of interaction with my readers.
taglist: @raccoon-eyed-rebel @deandoesthingstome @mayloma @fvckinghenrycavill @ylva-syverson @ellethespaceunicorn
(please let me know if you want to be added or removed)
You feel lost. Why the hell did you even come here in the first place? This was Sy’s coming home party. And you two aren’t really friends. Maybe you could have become. Maybe even more. But time wasn’t on your side. You look over to the man that held your mind and heart captivated in the last year, without even being near you most of the time. 
You were surprised when you first saw him today. The buzz cut and the beard were new and unfamiliar. But it made him even more attractive. You wonder how it would feel to be kissed by him. Would his whiskers be soft or would they rub your soft skin and leave red marks?
You take in how he pulls his upper lip into his mouth, licking the beer from it. The next girl is coming over to him. You have watched them the whole evening: Making doe eyes at him, playing with their hair. All trying their best to get his attention. Of course, he had this effect not only on you. They all wanted him.
Well, you wouldn’t stand in their way. If Sy had had any interest in you, you would have heard from him. But he never called, he never texted, he never wrote. 
All your friends are enjoying the evening, drinking, talking and laughing by the fire. No one seems to notice that you don't join them. You walk away from the bonfire into the woods. 
You sit down on a rock and think about what led you to feel so sad.
Tumblr media
May, one year ago:
You were excited to go to your friend’s wedding. It was the first event in your new life. You’d finally be able to get to know some of the people here. You had moved from Chicago to a small town in Texas. Your college roommate Megan had got you that amazing job offer that you couldn't decline. And, because she moved in with her fiancé, she even offered you her old apartment, which you gladly accepted. But the first few weeks in the new job had taken all your time. And Megan didn't have time to show you your new home in Texas either, she was occupied with her wedding. So you didn't know a lot of people yet.
When you saw him for the first time at the wedding, you immediately knew that you would fall for him. He was not only attractive, he had an aura of self-esteem and authority that you couldn’t call anything but ‘big dick energy’.
You watched him striding over to the bar. He took his drink from the bartender and turned, letting his gaze wander through the crowd. You realized too late that his head turned in your direction and when your looks met, you dropped your eyes to the floor hastily. Surely he could see you blush even from the opposite of the room. You walked over to your friend, trying to look like you were very much busy with something else as that gorgeous big guy. But to your shock, only a few moments later, he came over to you. 
He bent his head down to you and whispered: “No need to turn away darlin', I like being eye-fucked by beautiful women.” And he winked at you and walked away with a cocky smile spread over his face.
Now you were sure that everyone in the room could see your cheeks glow brightly. Megan grinned at you, she was near enough to overhear his words. 
“That was Sy. He's quite the charmer, right?” You covered your eyes with your hand. 
“Doing my best to embarrass myself at the first opportunity,” you said, grimacing. But Megan insisted that he didn't want to embarrass you but he was flirting. 
Over the evening, every now and then your look met Sy's. And every time, he gave you a smile. But you were glad that he didn't come over to talk to you anymore because you felt like you would only be stuttering. Especially after the wine you were drinking made your tongue heavy.
When Megan and her now-husband Fletcher had left, you decided to go home, too. You got to know some people and had fun during the evening but you still felt a bit like an outsider and you were too tired for conversations anyway. So you grabbed your cardigan and your purse and headed for the door.
As soon as you looked up, you saw Sy’s eyes, following you the whole way through the room. He had gotten rid of his jacket and his bow tie. The first buttons of his shirt were open now and the sleeves were rolled up over his elbows. That man was a fucking tease on legs and he knew exactly what he was doing. He was standing close to the exit, so you had no other choice as to walk past him. And when you were close enough, he saluted you with two fingers. 
“Sweet dreams, sugar! Hope I see you again soon.” You gave him a shy smile, not daring to speak. Sitting in the Uber that got you home, you wondered if he was talking like that to all the women today, or if he was curious about the ‘new girl’, or maybe he truly was interested in you.
Tumblr media
It was unbearably hot the last few days and you were so happy to finally have a free weekend to spend with your new-found friends. Megan, you and a couple of other people had planned a trip to the beach. When you walked down the boardwalk you got really excited. You were a summer girl through and through and you loved the sea.
You were lying on a blanket, sipping on your drink and reading, when you heard some of the guys cheering. You looked up, thinking they were playing a game or something like that, when you saw them waving at someone. You turned around and almost choked on your lemonade when you saw who was walking up to your group. He was wearing camo shorts, a red shirt that was probably a size too small for him and some dark aviators. Like the first time you had seen him, Sy strode along with an attitude of big dick energy that took your breath away. 
After the wedding you couldn’t get him out of your mind anymore and so you were really disappointed that you hadn’t met him ever since. You had tried to subtly ask Megan about him, but of course she knew right away. She told you that he is in the army and he was always quite busy when he was on leave, working on his house, meeting friends and family. But yet you always hoped he would show up when you were out. Three months later you had given up and almost forgot about him, and that's the moment he appeared in your life again.
You turned back to reading your book, trying to look unaffected. But Megan dropped beside you the next moment.
"Look who has time for his friends today…" she said to you playfully. You closed your book and sat up, but instead of an answer, you just rolled your eyes at her. Sy had reached your group and greeted everyone with a nod and a smile. One of the guys handed him a beer can and they started talking. 
Megan, of course, couldn't stop teasing you. "So, how do you like him better, in a suit or with that tight shirt?" She grinned at you. "Damn, I should have waited until he went swimming for that question, I guess. It would be an easier decision then." 
You smacked her on her shoulder but both of you were giggling. "I don't think it would be an easy decision at all. He looks damn fine in a suit, but this shirt is… uh… nice, too. I doubt it can get any better." Megan knew you were going to learn soon how wrong you were so she just let out a loud belly laugh.
Sy looked over to you two, probably searching for the source of laughter. And you could tell the moment when he noticed you were there, too. His eyes got slightly wider and his mouth fell open for a second. He turned his head back to the guy he was talking to, but he seemed to be distracted, fiddling with his fingers, licking his lips and every so often squinting over in your direction. You were surprised to see him like that. This wasn't the confident guy you had seen until now. 
Megan saw it, too.  "D'ahw, he likes you, girl!" she remarked. 
You tried your best to act normal and apparently Sy found back to his cocky self after a while, too. But when he grabbed the back of his shirt to pull it over his head, you couldn’t keep your composure any longer. 
“Fuck me!” you mumbled under your breath. Megan shoved her elbow into your side, grinning. 
“Told you so!” she sing-songed into your ear. You both watched how Sy stepped into the water, diving into a wave. 
Megan’s husband Fletcher dropped down next to you. “Ladies, you are staring!” he said amusedly. 
You decided that you should go back to reading when Megan and Fletcher got up to get some sandwiches. But the book you read lead into a quite smutty scene exactly now that you tried to stop thinking about that half-naked hunk in the water. That didn’t help at all! You rolled over to lie on your stomach. At least you weren’t able to look at him now. 
Two pages later, a shadow fell upon you and your book. Followed by tiny cold drops of water dripping down your warm skin. You let out a shriek and turned to see who it was that startled you like that. You had to squint your eyes due to the sun, but it was very clear whose wide frame was standing in front of you. Sy threw a towel into the sand next to you and sat down.
“Hey, sorry, didn’t mean to make you scream like that.” The corners of his mouth turned up into a cocky smirk. "Watchu reading?” He nodded at your book. 
Oh no! You definitely didn’t want to tell him about that cheesy vampire smut. “Uhm, just a fantasy novel,” you muttered under your breath, hoping that this would be enough information for him. But you weren't lucky. 
“Fantasy? Really? I read a lot of fantasy stuff myself. What is it? Maybe I have read it, too.” Sy grabbed your book from between your arms faster than you could react. He turned it to look onto the cover. 
Sy amusedly raised an eyebrow when he saw the artwork and the title. “Hu, now that is probably still on my to-read-list,” he said with a deep chuckle. 
You wished the sand under you would just swallow you, so you didn’t have to look into these beautiful ocean blue eyes next to you ever again. You were mortified! As Sy noticed you not only blushing but also turning your head away from him, he shook his head. 
“Shush, hey, I’m just joking. I didn’t want to make you feel bad.” He laid your book down again onto your blanket and instead put his hand onto your shoulder. 
That was unexpected. But it felt good and somehow it made you feel more comfortable again. You turned to look into his face again and you noticed that the cheeky grin had disappeared and was replaced with a warm smile. 
“I’m Sy, by the way. But I guess someone already told you.” He looked over to Megan.
You nodded and gave him your name. “But I guess someone already told you,” you parroted him, which he answered with a smirk. “But Sy isn’t your real name, right?” you asked. Sy raised his right eyebrow and pulled up one corner of his mouth. He probably had to answer this question way too often. 
“Benjamin Jacob Syverson it is. But since there were four Ben’s in our football team we had to get creative with the nicknames.” He drew quotation marks into the air with his fingers at the word ‘creative’. “And somehow ‘Sy’ stuck with me. Even my sister calls me Sy now, which is quite stupid if you think about it.” There was that deep chuckle again that gave you goosebumps despite you lying in the warm Texas summer sun. 
Sy and you got to talk and you soon realized that he not only had a hypnotizing appeal, but he also was smart and your conversation with him just felt so easy and relaxed. Damn, you were falling hard for him. It was the second time you saw him, the first time you talked to him and there you were, totally smitten.
When Megan came back to you and practically pulled you with her into the water you were almost furious that she had interrupted your talk with Sy. But then you saw him following you into the waves and you couldn’t be mad at Megan anymore.
The rest of the day felt like a summer daydream. You were swimming, drinking, laughing. And all the time Sy was somewhere around you. In the evening Megan and Fletcher asked you to join them for a beach volleyball match. 
“We need a fourth person,” you said, looking around. 
Megan's cousin Terry came over to you. “I could join!” he suggested. But then Sy stood up and stepped between you and Terry.
“No offense, but it would be kind of unfair teaming her up with you, Terry. You would look like hobbits playing against giants. I think she needs a partner that is a little bit taller than you.” And yes, Sy looked ridiculous tall next to Terry. And broad. And sexy. 
So it was you and Sy against Fletcher and Megan. It was no surprise to you that Sy was very competitive. He went all in, throwing himself into the sand, sweat running down his bare back. You enjoyed every minute of it. In the end you won and before you could think, you found yourself jumping onto Sy, hugging him like a koala. 
He grabbed you by your thighs and chuckled. “That was worth the fight!”
Tumblr media
In the next couple of weeks you met Sy sometimes at the bar or at gatherings with friends but to your disappointment you never got that close to him anymore like you did at that day on the beach. You were tempted to ask Fletcher for his phone number, but somehow you wanted him to make the next step. Maybe you were kind of old-fashioned but you wanted him to woo you. And so you were waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
And then there was this day in October, the sun was shining and you were driving home from your office, singing loud and wrong to your favorite songs. Ahead of you you noticed a truck standing in the dirt beside the road. The hood was open and you saw a pair of jeans leaning against the front. 
Okay, you were taught to be kind and offer help. But you were also a woman alone on an empty road. You struggled if you should stop. Reducing your speed, you carefully approached the car. And then you let out a snort when you saw who was standing at his broken truck. 
“Hey Sy, need a savior?” you asked him with a wide grin when you stopped next to him. He looked up from under the hood and answered with a surprised huff.
"I'm not sure what kind of help I need at all right now, darlin'. I thought I could fix that goddamn piece of scrap like I usually do. But it seems this time it's not that easy." Sy scrowled while scratching the back of his head with his greasy fingers.
You parked your car in front of his truck and got out to him. You leaned against the fender and looked onto the engine as if you had any idea how cars work. Well, to be honest, you looked at Sy's arms and hands that rested on some parts of which you had, of course, no idea what they were. Somehow this grime look, greasy and oily, affected you more than you would have guessed. As if you needed to be more drawn to that guy as you already were.
Sy ruttled on some cables, according to his facial expression not with any success. "Sugar, can you get into the car and try to start it?"
You climbed into the driver's cabin and adjusted the seat a good amount forward so you'd be able to get to the pedals. You turned the keys but the car just spat out some sad noises.
Sy shook his head and worked on some other cables. "Once more, please?"
You tried again but there was no change. The engine didn't start.
Sy dropped the hood shut and kicked against the tyre. "That damn marten probably munched on my cables again. I'm gonna kill that little bastard!"
He got to the driver's cabin and held out his hand. "Can you give me a ride into town, darlin'?"
"Sure!" you answered, although your voice didn't sound sure at all. You put your hand in his and jumped to the ground. But you didn't expect that fluttering feeling that suddenly hit your stomach and so you stumbled forwards. 
Sy's arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush into his embrace. You didn't even feel embarrassed as you inhaled his scent while you stayed in his arms way too long for that accidental situation.
"You okay?" he asked you when you had finally managed to take a step back.
You nodded and gave him a smile. "Yeah, I'm just awful clumsy," you told him. 
Both of you got into your car, Sy looking ridiculously big in the passenger's seat of your Toyota Yaris. You turned down the volume of the radio and talked with him for a few miles. 
"You really care for your truck, don't you?" you asked him. You had noticed that although it was an old model it was very well maintained.
Sy gave you a strange look, somehow sad. "Yes. I really hope it's just that stupid rodent again and nothing more serious. The truck was my dad's! He gave it to me on my 16th birthday. It was old even back then but it was mine." He took a deep breath before he continued. "I lost my dad half a year later. He didn't come back from Iraq."
"Oh!" Your hand reached out to his and pressed it slightly. This time you were prepared for the sensation of feeling his warmth. "I'm sorry," you said in loss of other words.
A silence fell upon you that wasn't actually uncomfortable but after some time you felt like you needed to say something.
"So, where can I drop you off? Some repair shop?" Sy shook his head.
"No, I'm just texting my cousin to go fetch the car and I'll fix it on my own. Could you please drive me home?"
You nodded and continued to drive in silence until you made it to town. Sy cleared his throat like he wanted to say something, but didn't continue. At the next crossroad you turned left. Sy turned his head to you and finally started to speak.
"You know where I live?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, although he looked more amused than surprised. Heat crept up your cheeks and ears. You felt like a stalker. Probably because you were a stalker.  Megan had pointed out his house when you were driving by a few weeks ago. And maybe you had made a little detour sometimes since then, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. 
"It's a small town." You shrugged awkwardly and luckily he didn't seem to mind.
"That's true. How'chu like it here? A little bit different than Chicago, hu?" A grin spread over his face.
"Hell, yes, but in a good way. I know people are always talking about southern hospitality, but you know, it's really true. At least here in this town. I feel so welcome, I made more friends in these few months than in Chicago in half of my life."
Sy's chest puffed out proud when he listened to you, which was really kind of cute.
"And do you enjoy the southern hospitality of someone in particular?" he asked next. You weren't quite sure if you understood that question correctly so you just blinked at him.
"Are you seeing someone?" Sy rephrased with a wink.
"Oh!" You felt stupid. "No, not like that." You hadn't even finished your sentence when Sy's smile widened across his face.
"That's good!"he said, just to correct himself in the next second. "I mean, it's not good that you don't have someone. It's good because I actually wanted to ask you out."
You felt your heart race in your chest. He really wanted to go on a date with you? Yes, that's what he had said.
"I'd love that!" you told him.
Sy didn't say anything in response but grabbed your hand and rubbed his thumb over your palm. Though you felt like you couldn't focus on driving any longer somehow you made it to his house shortly after. 
Sy let go of your hand and you both got out of your car. With wide steps, Sy circled around the car to get to you. 
"Thanks for the ride, sugar!" He leaned down to you and gave you a kiss on your cheek. It was so gentle you almost weren't able to feel it. What a shame!
Sy pulled his mobile out of his back pocket, unlocked it and gave it to you.
"If you give me your number I'm gonna text you later. If you really want to go out with me, it is, of course." The wink he gave you made sure that he was very well aware that you wanted to. So you added your number and gave it back to him. He held the phone up, silently asking for permission to take a photo of you. You gave him a small nod. But instead of taking a picture immediately, Sy leaned forward to kiss you once more on your cheek. This time his soft lips rested longer on your skin. And while he was kissing you, he took a selfie of you two.  
"Sy!" You were too flabbergasted to really enjoy it but the feeling in your stomach told you, you really liked him being so near to you.
Sy looked at his screen grinning and held it up for you. You looked absolutely ridiculous, eyes wide in surprise.
"Oh no, please delete this. I'm looking so stupid!" you begged him, but he just chuckled and shook his head. 
"No, you're pretty as a speckled pup!"
Tumblr media
Over the next week Sy and you had texted with each other every day and when you really had a bad day at work, he had even called you and you talked for almost two hours, feeling so much better after. 
When you met with Megan on Friday for lunch you were starting to get nervous because of the upcoming date.
"I have no idea what he's up to. He told me it's a surprise but what the hell am I supposed to wear?" You shoved your salad from one side of the plate to the other, not really eating much at all.
"Girl, calm down. Just wear some tight jeans and a top. And nice matching underwear, of course." Megan giggled as you gave her an annoyed look.
You were under the shower when you heard your mobile ring. Hastily you grabbed a towel and went to answer the phone. It was Sy. 
"Hey, handsome!" You sat down on your bed, ignoring the fact that you were still dripping wet.
"Hey!" The hesitant, almost silent answer made your heart drop. This was the sound of someone knowing they'll disappoint you soon. He changed his mind.
"Sugar, I'm so sorry. I won't be able to go out with you." There it was. You gulped, not able to say something, so Sy continued.
"I got notice that I have to leave next week. I..  There's a lot I have to get done before that. I wasn't expecting to be deployed that soon."
You still just sat there. He was leaving in a few days. You won't be able to see him for months. And he chose to cancel your date. The last chance to be with you.
"Darlin', I'm sorry. I really am." 
"It's okay, Sy. I understand." You really did. But it hurt nevertheless.
You had hoped for some texts coming from him. Some sign that he was thinking of you. 
Then you thought that maybe he wasn't able to send messages at all. But when Fletcher told you that he had gotten text messages from him you knew that this wasn't true. He just didn't want to stay in contact with you. 
Well, it's not like you two were a thing after all. You barely knew each other. 
You tried to move on, tried to forget him. Megan even managed to persuade you to go on a few blind dates with guys she thought would distract you enough. 
But nothing you did was enough to stop thinking about him. Every night you lay in your bed, thinking of the few moments you had shared or wondering what he was going through right now.
After a while you hid your heartache from your friends, even Megan was sure you were over Sy. And so no one thought it would be hard for you to come to the homecoming party your friends organized for him. But it was.
Tumblr media
You look up to the stars, blinking the tears away that gather in the corners of your eyes. The night sky in Texas is so beautiful. But it makes you feel even smaller and insignificant. Maybe you should just go home. 
You get up but instead of just leaving, of course, you have to glance over to him again. He leans over to Fletcher, talking and gesturing. Both men share another look and then Sy walks away. He moves into your direction. Fuck!
The whole evening you pondered what you would say to him when he would come over to you. If he would come over to you.
Now your brain just feels empty. You turn around again, looking up to the sky once more. You hear his heavy footsteps approaching. And then you feel his warm hands rub over your arms.
"Damn, you're freezing, darlin'. Why dont'chu get a little closer to the fire?" His hands don't stop moving up and down your arms and he even moves closer to you and you feel the heat of his chest on your back.
"I want to look at the stars. At the fire it's too bright." 
You feel Sy nodding. You two stand there for what feels like an eternity without talking.
"You didn't say hi," he remarks after a while. 
“You didn’t say goodbye!” is your answer and you can’t hide the bitterness in your words. 
Sy inhales deeply. “I didn’t,” is all he says. Then he pulls his Hoodie over his head and gives it to you. “Here, you are shivering.” 
You don’t want to accept it, but he is right. You really are freezing. And you need to talk with Sy, give it a closure, whatever it was that you two had last year.
So you put it on. And you realize immediately that this was a fault. You take in the scent it radiates. The scent that takes you back to the moments where you were lucky enough to be near him. When he leaned down to you at Megan’s wedding, that day on the beach when you jumped into his arms, the day you stumbled into his embrace and he kissed your cheek. 
“I wanted to protect you. I didn’t want you to sit there waiting for me when we didn’t even know if this is something worth waiting for. And to be honest, I wanted to protect myself, too. I was afraid I couldn’t make it through these months if I felt more for you than I already did.”
Sy sits down on the rock, his thighs spread wide. He pulls you down to sit in between them and wraps his arms around you. 
“Didn’t help anyway. I couldn’t stop thinkin’ of you the whole fuckin’ time. Every hour of every day of every week of every month. Was starin’ at the stars so often. Always thought that at least they are the same, shining down on me and you. That made me feel a little bit nearer to you. And I was lookin’ at your photo all the time.” You hear his deep chuckle, although it sounds a little bit different than you know it. It has some sad undertones this time.
Of all the things he told you, you pick the most stupid thing to answer him. “Noooo, not that stupid photo, I’m looking awful in it.”
This time Sy’s chuckle is brighter, the way you know and love it. “Nope, darlin’, already told you. Pretty as a speckled pup!”
You turn your head to look at him. And at the sight of him, looking at you so soft, the fire throwing light and shadow over his face, you know it’s going to happen. You lean into him, you can feel his breath and then finally he closes the last distance and his lips brush over yours. His whiskers tickle at the corner of your mouth but you decide immediately that you love it. 
Sy grabs you at your waist and pulls you sideways onto his lap. With the new angle, he is able to pull you closer and deepen his kiss. His tongue carefully licks over your upper lip and you respond to it by opening your mouth to let him explore it. You feel like the world around you fades away and it is just Sy and you. Both of you put all the love, all the desperation you felt in the last eight months into this kiss and so your hearts are racing when you finally part your lips again, gasping for air. 
Sy stands up, carrying you bridal style without any effort. When he moves you near the fire, you notice that everyone else is gone. Sy sees the confused expression on your face and grins.
“I asked Fletcher if he could make sure to give us a little more privacy.” Sy kneels down on a blanket next to the fire and puts you down. His wide frame leans over you the next moment and his mouth is on yours again. Soon his lips travel from your mouth to your jaw and neck, finally resting on a spot under your ear where his kisses and sucks made your whole body shiver. 
He pulls his head back, looking down onto you with his eyes dark. “Are you still cold?” he asks you. 
“No, I’m feeling as good as never before,” you whisper. Your hand travels to his jaw and you run your fingers through his coarse beard. Sy leans into your touch, closing his eyes.
“I can shave it!” he tells you but you shake your head. “No, I think I like it. Missing your curls though.” you answer him while running your other hand through the soft hair on the back of his head. 
“Yeah, gonna need to grow them out again. You will need something to hold onto.” He winks at you and you can’t hold back a laugh. That’s the Sy you missed so much.
You get back to kiss each other, and soon your hands are traveling over each other's bodies. The heat of the fire and of Sy’s body gets to you and you lean up to get rid of Sy’s hoodie. Sy mirrors you and pulls his shirt over his head. You gasp at the sight of his bare chest. His shoulders are even wider than you remember and you can’t help it, you want to bite into his pecs that heave with every one of his deep breaths.
You straddle him and kiss him passionately. Sy’s hands grab your ass and he pulls you impossibly close to him. You feel him pressing against your core, hard and big, and you moan at the sensation. Sy tugs on your shirt and you help him to get it off of you. You hadn’t bothered to wear a bra and Sy grunts in appreciation as his hands cup both of your breasts. Soon he repalces one hand with his mouth and he circles your hard nipple with his tongue. “Damn, baby you are gorgeous!” he tells you and sinks back into the soft flesh of your breasts.
Then he moves, laying you down onto your back and slowly he trails a path of wet kisses down to your belly until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. His eyes move up to your face as his hands go for the button. Instead of an answer you help him open it and pull at your zipper. Sy rolls down your jeans, tugging the tight fabric until you are finally laying in front of him, only in your soaked panties. His beard tickles you as he kisses you all the way up from your ankle to your knee and then further up your thigh and you squirm under him. Soon you feel his warm breath through the lacy fabric of your underwear. 
“Please, Sy!” you beg and he answers you teasingly with a chaste kiss onto your clothed mound. “Sy! Please!” you plead once more and he finally listens. He pulls down your panties and parts your legs with his shoulders. And then his mouth is where you wanted it to be. 
Slowly, way too slowly, he licks with his tongue through your folds up to your clit. A gasp escapes your mouth when he reaches your pearl. Sy keeps playing with it, drawing circles around it, sucking it into his mouth. With his tongue flattened, he laps along your entrance and then he gets back to your clit again. When you already notice the tension in your middle build up, you feel a finger push into you.
Sy curls it to find your most sensitive spot. And when he reaches it, he adds a second finger and pumps them into you. All the while he rolls your clit between his lips. You can hardly breathe over the sensation Sy's tongue and fingers give you. You press your hips up to his mouth when your climax washes over you and you feel your whole body melt under his ministrations. And even after you come down from your high, Sy doesn’t stop moving over your now oversensitive pearl.
You wriggle under his touch. „Sy, come here!“ you tell him and pull him up to you. Droplets of your juices fall from his wet beard onto your chest when he leans over you with a wide grin.
He sinks his head down to you and kisses you frantically, building up the ache in your core again. You start to fumble on his belt. You’re impatient and want to feel him in every way possible. You had waited so long for this to happen, now you can’t wait a minute longer. But Sy takes all his time to drag this out.
Finally, you manage to undo his belt and your fingers work on the buttons of his jeans next.
“Sy!” you moan into his ear. “I want this so much. I want you.” He just growls in response. His mouth is on your neck and his hand travels down between your legs again. You are still not able to free him from his damn pants and you let out a frustrated huff. 
“Will you just already get out of these jeans and fuck me?” you almost cry out. Sy chuckles lightly. 
“Oh, baby, I will. Trust me. Just give me one minute. There’s a condom in my jacket.” He gets up and your gaze follows him as he walks to his truck. You take in how the thin layer of sweat that covers his back glistens in the light of the bonfire. It’s the hottest thing you have ever seen. 
He gets the condom and then, when he turns back to you, you have to correct yourself. THIS is the hottest thing you have ever seen: Sy walks back to the fire, and when he is towering over you, his chest glistening of sweat all the same, he opens his jeans and lets them drop into the dirt. He’s been going commando under them, so he stands there in all his glory. And because it’s Sy, he’s looking at you with his signature cocky smirk and his eyes dark with desire. 
You grab his hand and pull him down to you. Sy drops next to you and the moment he’s on the ground, you take your chance and get on top of him. You kiss him, starting on his neck, then going down over his chest and stomach and then you follow the trail of dark hair to his hard and veiny cock. You pause your movement to lick your lips and then you finally sink your mouth over the swollen head of his cock. Your tongue circles around it and Sy answers with a loud growl. 
You can’t take him fully into your mouth but you do your best to make him feel good with your lips, tongue and hand. And you feel him twitch and grow on your tongue.
“Baby, please, you need to stop or I’m not going to last. It’s been too long.” He pulls back and puts the condom into your hand. You sit up and carefully you open the package and roll the condom over his dick. 
Then you straddle him, one fist around his cock. Slowly, you guide him through your wet folds to your entrance. You stop for a second, your eyes meet, and your heart is going to burst by the sight of him, looking at you hungrily but also so soft. You sink down onto him, inch for inch and you can barely breathe at the sensation of him stretching you out. When you are seated completely, Sy leans up to you and kisses you. You hook your legs around his hips, put your arms around his neck and pull him tight. Your lips meet again as you start to roll your hips in a slow rhythm. 
Your breasts brush over his chest with every movement. You kiss over his jaw and his throat, grind your core on him as you ride him. Sy's head sinks down to your breasts, needily he sucks on your nipples while he rakes his nails over the soft skin of your back. 
After some time where you move on top of him in a slow pace, Sy loses his patience, grabs your sides and starts to thrust up to you. Now your hips are crashing together roughly as you both chase your high. Sy lets out deep moans in the same rhythm as his thrusts. One last time he pushes his hips up to you and then he comes with a rumbling groan. He holds you tight against his chest. You follow him only seconds after, just by feeling and hearing his release you reach your high, too and you ride him slowly until the shockwaves that rush through your body cease.
Sy softens the grip of his arms around you and looks at you with hooded eyes. You climb off of him and you fall onto the blanket next to Sy. Panting, both of you look at each other and just smile like idiots.
“So, can I finally take you on a date, then?” Sy asks and you both laugh.
Tumblr media
Sequel: Something like that
901 notes · View notes
evita-shelby · 8 months
Note
Hi, hello
This is my first request ever, please ignore my spelling mistakes if there's any, I'm French so...
So how abt the femreader /OC (as you want) has an illness and is destined to die but Tommy pursue her and falls in love with her anyway and then she dies and we see how he copes. I'm a sucker for angst.
Thank youuu
You are welcome 😊
I cried so hard i ran out of tp to clean my snot.
Promise
Gif by @manie-sans-delire-x
Cw: death, illness, grief, suicidal thoughts
Tumblr media
You hoped he’d forget about you while he was in France, but when he stepped down that platform he was as in love with you as when he had left.
You had broken things off with him before he even left and yet he returned to you as if nothing changed.
No matter how much you tried, Tommy never left your side.
Eventually you had to tell him the truth.
You were dying.
You had a year at most, the tumor was not operable, and it wouldn’t be long before you were dead.
“I can’t leave you, love, not when you need me most.” He had said as he held your face in his hands.
And he hadn’t.
Not when the barmaid showed up and made it clear to all that she wanted him, not when he provoked Kimber and certainly not when Campbell threatened to have the hospital deny you care if he didn’t give him the guns.
Campbell hadn’t expected you to laugh and spit at his face, “Do it, do your fucking worst, Inspector. I am dead anyways.”
You were dying, but you were never going to let Tommy and his dreams die with you.
You had a year.
And you had decided that your last wish was to see Tommy get the hell out of here and be the great man you know he is.
This you tell him as the two of you stand as witnesses for Freddie Thorne and his sister, Ada.
He couldn’t say no to you, he said so as you tied his tie for him and told him to drive you and Ada to the courthouse where Freddie was waiting with his cousins and a rabbi.
“It could be us up there,” he said quietly knowing you’d say no.
“Ask me again in a year.” You love him, and that is why you refuse to tie him to you like that.
Time passes slowly, you encourage him to pursue Grace because he needs the distraction. There was something there, on her side at least.
Not that he budged, said he didn’t need anyone else. Not when he had you.
“I’m going to marry you.” He says the words you feared the most. He did never learn to let go, even when death took those he loved most, he stood there refusing to let go.
“Tommy, I do not want to tie you to me like this. Not like this.” You plead for him to move on weeks later when he takes the barmaid to the races.
“I’m gonna marry you, when you go, I want you to go as my wife, y/n.” he vowed just as you vowed to see him succeed.
You supposed that is what had you say yes.
He wants to do things proper, keeping almost every tradition and custom in place that you find to your liking. Whatever you want for your big day, he and Polly make it happen.
Its sweet and thoughtful you think as he gets the two of you on a table at the Garrison and announced to all that the two of you will be getting married.
He had bought you a ring, a Claddagh ring like the one his mum had worn. Only difference was that the other one was lost in the Cut and yours had a red garnet heart to represent his love and devotion to you.
Tommy was a romantic, no matter what he did to hide it.
You dance in the dark of your room nights later to some old record your mama had since she settled here with your father.
“We could always elope, go somewhere just us and come back like our parents did.” He suggests and you nod.
As much as you’d like to do things properly, you’d rather get the things on your list done before you meet your maker.
Besides, that trip to Liverpool before the war had been lovely and you’d like to see the sea again before you go.
“I’d like that.” You say and that next morning the two of you set off to Liverpool like the wild teenagers the two of you used to be.
The wedding is lovely even if it happens in front of strangers, but the weekend the two of you spend as newlyweds is enough to make you forget your time is running out.
Perhaps when your health becomes worse you could return here, die somewhere beautiful away from everything.
“I wish we didn’t have to go back.” He admits as the two of you lie down on a blanket and enjoy the sun on your faces on your last day here.
“Once its over, we should come back here.” You say as if you knew for sure you’d be alive by then.
Zilpha Lee saw your death in the first chills of December. A black star and blood on Tommy’s heart.
It was late July now.
Only five months left in your clock. And you were going to make the most of it.
And you did, you danced at John and Esme’s wedding like there was no tomorrow. You gave the barmaid a good enough thrashing she never even got to call the police on Freddie and when little Karl was born it hurt your heart to know you would never have this with Tommy.
You wept like a baby in his arms as everyone celebrated down at the pub.
“Promise me you will love again.” You dry your tears and make him swear to live for you.
He cannot die with you, you refuse to let him.
“Don’t make me promise that, love, I’ve only ever loved you.” He shook his head, refusing to even think of a life without you in it.
It becomes the first of October that night.
You can’t hide your illness no matter what you do. A girl from the neighborhood is hired to help you and from your bed you play cupid between the sweet but never spineless Linda and the most unlikely dashing knight, Arthur.
When they finally go out ---with Finn to keep things proper--- it is late November.
And as if by magic, you are bursting with energy enough to leave your bed and make sure there is no loose string left by December 1st.
You are laughing with Polly over something when you see it in Tommy’s carefully annotated diary.
A black star on December 3rd.
He plans on having everything done by then, to deal with Kimber and Campbell that same day and spend the rest of your time on earth in a cottage by the sea.
It was supposed to be a surprise until you answered a call back from the woman renting it.
If only you could live long enough to get there.
But you won’t.
Zilpha had said on the day of the Black Star.
On December 3rd your time was up.
And you had fulfilled your mission, on that day Tommy would have reached the first step towards getting the hell away from here.
Only Polly knows what transpired during that meeting with Zilpha Lee and she holds you as your heart breaks all over again.
“Promise me you’ll take care of him.” You ask her as she holds you tight enough to put you back together again.
“Of course I will, sweetheart. Just like I told Martha Strong I’d take care of her boys and John’s Martha as well.” The older woman promised you as she gave you her Black Madonna.
Its is December 3rd when Tommy leaves the house as giddy as a boy on boxing day.
“After this it will be just us in that little cottage by the sea, love.” He had promised kissing you like there was no tomorrow.
And there wouldn’t be.
The moment the bullet strikes his chest, you collapse at his desk and never rise again.
By the time Jeremiah lets him go, you are gone.
That night, after the undertaker has taken you away to prepare you for burial, he takes your ring, a bottle of whiskey and his gun.
When he pulls the trigger, there are no bullets and he curses you for leaving and refusing to let him leave with you.
He wakes up in Charlie’s Yard, with his aunt and uncle wearing black for mourning.
“I promised her I’d take care of you, don’t make break that promise, boy.” Polly said as she helped him back on his feet.
After your funeral he leaves for the seaside, hoping to have the peace and quiet to finish what he started and yet as he sits there in ghe sand looking at the ring he gave you, he remembers your voice making him swear to live for you.
And he does.
On December 3rd 1922, he returns to the beach with May Carlton now wearing your ring on her finger.
“Thank you.” He whispers to the wind.
284 notes · View notes
phoenixlionme · 2 months
Text
youtube
Tumblr media
NOTE: In case anyone is wondering, I added the gif below the video because the video cut off the moment where Charlie pulls Vaggie closer and I wanted it in.
Now, I am going to ramble on in various bulllet points why I love this scene, from what I've notice and what other people have noticed in this reprise as well. Be prepared for a long post. And enjoy.
Vaggie's soft "Charlie?" when she sees her girlfriend upset. And Charlie being honest about her fears of losing instead of putting on a smile and brave face like she did earlier in the episode.
Vaggie's starting off the reprise by reminding Charlie of all the good she's done and all of the people she's helped by creating the Hotel.
When Vaggie starts singing, Charlie still has a forlorn expression on her face but immediately smiles when Vaggie touches her cheek; and unlike her big and implicitly forced smiles earlier in the episode, it's a small smile that shows she's still scared but deeply appreciates her girlfriend's comfort. And when Vaggie touches her cheek, Charlie goes to touch the former's wrist.
Vaggie grabbing Charlie's hand and guiding her from the dark to the light. Symbolism, anyone?
Possibly my favorite line from Vaggie in the song - "And in the end, if it's only me you saved" - Vaggie isn't a sinner but a fallen Exorcist Angel that Charlie found and rescued from near death; so, she doesn't need to be redeemed in a literal sense. But, here? Vaggie is telling Charlie that even if everything goes wrong, that even if they don't know that their plan to redeem Sinners will work, that whatever happens, Charlie must know ONE thing - the Princess saved the Soldier not only from death but also saved her soul. Vaggie was cast out by Lute and Adam for showing mercy but then rescued by the Princess of Hell who's all about mercy and forgiveness. Vaggie is telling Charlie that the latter helped her own redemption.
Charlie's smile going from a small, tired small to an even bigger, love-filled one. Vaggie's emotional comfort really helped calm Charlie's fears.
Another line from the couple that I really love, "There's something that I've been dying to say" - For the past 6 months, the duo have been under enormous stress from the upcoming 2nd extermination, helping to redeem Sinners, being mocked from all corners, and personal issues (i.e., Charlie hurt and angry over Vaggie's secrecy). It's been fast-paced and chaotic, so much they haven't been given a moment to really just be a couple. And the next day, they have to face off against Heaven's Army and might not make it. But in this quiet moment, Charlie and Vaggie are able to fully express their love for one another for the first time in a long time. No interruptions, no business, just them. And honestly, I LOVE the line so much.
Just the look of peace and vulnerability from Charlie when Vaggie gently strokes the former's hair and cheek. The Princess has been so stressed and scared but having the love of her life be by her is a truly calming presence.
The happy sighs they both make after they kiss.
Charlie pulling Vaggie closer while they are kissing.
Possible wedding foreshadowing. That's it. I predict marriage given how they are positioned. And I hope I am right.
They definitely had sex after this. I mean, you can hear them sigh happily once they kiss, Charlie pulls her closer, and they're going into battle the next day.
French version of the song translates, “More than anything” to “Tu es tout pour moi” which directly translates to “You are everything for me” or “You are my everything”.
Again in the French version, “Need you to know I love you more than anything” becomes “Je t’aime par-dessus tout et je ne veux que toi” which translates to “I love you above all and I only want you”.
In the Italian version, the line is translated to, "Whatever happens, just know that/You are my everything".
133 notes · View notes
takeme-totheworld · 4 months
Text
Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 2: The Source of Salvation
This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.
Part 1 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.
(This post ended up being way longer than I intended, oopsie! And no fun GIFs to break it up this time. Hope you like reading lots of words!)
So why would Aziraphale, an angel who has not fallen despite bending/breaking the rules many times, have so much emotional baggage around the topic of forgiveness?
Some disclaimers:
Disclaimer 1: I've seen enough of tumblr already to know that "does Aziraphale really have religious trauma?/how much does it motivate his actions?" is the subject of Discourse around these parts. I don't want to have that argument here. Aziraphale's experience with Heaven has strong parallels to my personal religious history, and those specific parallels are what I'm here to talk about.
Disclaimer 2: I am not a bible scholar or religious historian, if I mention specific church doctrines or bible verses it's only to illustrate the experience of growing up in my church. My actual biblical/theological accuracy may be sloppy.
Disclaimer 3: I haven't read Good Omens the book. I know there are differences, but I'm not addressing them. All my thoughts are about show!Aziraphale and show!Heaven only.
Okay. Here goes.
The next point I want to make is that Aziraphale has spent his life inside a system that has weaponized the concept of forgiveness. Because Heaven, in the Good Omens universe, operates a lot like a particular flavor of toxic Christianity that I happen to be very familiar with.
In the version of Christianity I was raised with:
Your only purpose is to serve God's will. Our own needs, wants, goals, etc, were all understood to be secondary to that purpose.
The specter of eternal punishment is always present. Like any self-respecting Evangelical church, we believed that if you weren't "saved" before you died, you would go to Hell and be punished forever. How do you make sure you're saved? Well...
The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. We were a Protestant denomination, so a foundational doctrine was "sola scriptura." (We weren't fancy enough for the Latin, though, we just called ourselves "bible-based.") The basic idea is that the bible is the word of God, it's infallible, and it's the only authority we need to follow. But the bible is a cobbling-together of texts written thousands of years ago, that have been translated multiple times. It's not self-evident to a modern reader what any given passage means. It contains internal contradictions all over the place. So...the bible is the only authority we need to follow, but it's confusing and needs interpretation. Enter pastors and other church leaders to help us interpret. Only...they each have their own pre-existing biases and preferred scholarly interpretations, so even within the same church, different pastors might have different ideas about things.
So, to summarize: Follow what the bible says! Don't understand what it's telling you? Ask your pastor! Different pastors give different answers? Ugh, you're thinking about this too hard. Go pray about it or something. Just figure it out.
New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. Because doing God's will is your only purpose, remember? And the Bible (and your pastor) are the source of the only wisdom you need to fulfill the only purpose you have. So really, you don't need anything outside what the church has to offer you and it's all a distraction anyway. (...okay, if you really must, here's a watered-down, church-approved version of the thing, now shut up.)
This isn't just the church being a buzzkill. It keeps you dependent on them and ignorant of the outside world to whatever extent they monitor and censor outside influences. My church was not even that extreme about this, relatively speaking, but it was still enough to profoundly impact me and leave me confused and floundering in the larger world after I left.
No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So you spend your life trying to follow a bunch of confusing, opaque rules in the hopes that you can be "saved" and avoid eternal punishment. But here's kicker: none of it truly matters anyway, because we were also taught that everyone falls short in the end and that the only real salvation comes from God forgiving you for your sins. All you really have to do to be saved is accept his free gift of forgiveness...by...believing the right things in the right way and praying the right prayers about it. And then spending the rest of your life still trying to follow all the convoluted rules, because doing so is proof that you were sincere...in your acceptance of God's forgiveness...which you accepted by following even more instructions regarding what to believe and how to pray to ensure that you were accepting it correctly.
How do you know if you've done any of this right? You never can, truly, until you die and find out. Because God's not actually talking to anyone. So in the end, no matter what you do, you end up in the same place: at the mercy of God, who decides whether you're forgiven or not.
If you're thinking that sounds like an incredibly confusing and exhausting way to grow up, you are correct! It also has a lot of parallels in Good Omens.
If you are an angel working for Heaven in the world of Good Omens:
Your only purpose is to serve God's will. This one is obvious. If you're an angel, it's literally the only thing you were created for.
The specter of eternal punishment is always present. The eternal punishment that can happen to an angel is falling. We know it's a punishment, because we know Crowley's fall was painful and because we can see that Hell is a miserable environment for the demons. This isn't The Good Place, where demons gleefully sit around eating snacks in conference rooms and brainstorming new fun ways to torture humans. Hell in Good Omens sucks for everyone there. And we can assume falling is meant to be permanent, because if it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't have been so gobsmacked by the Metatron's offer to restore Crowley to angelic status. Because there's no precedent for that. Crowley himself says that being a demon has automatically rendered him unforgivable. As far as anyone in this universe knows, "fallen" is a permanent state.
So how does an angel avoid eternal punishment? How do angels make sure they don't fall? Well...
The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. Was falling a one-and-done mass exile of everyone who rebelled, right after the war? The way both Heaven and Hell talk about the fall and the "casting out" of the demons would seem to suggest so. But fear of falling is obviously ever-present among the angels, so they clearly don't know for sure one way or the other. And what would cause an angel who wasn't part of the original rebellion to fall? Aziraphale thought he would fall for lying about Job's children. The archangels threatened Aziraphale with falling for "consorting" with Crowley in S1. Gabriel expected to fall for saying no to Armageddon the Sequel in S2. But none of those falls actually happened. Clearly even the angels in the highest positions of authority don't know exactly what the rules are about falling. And who decides who falls? Gabriel says the demons were "cast out" after the war, but who did the casting out? Did God handle that directly? Was it the Metatron? Did the transformation just sort of...happen, leaving everyone unsure about the details? And what about present day? The Metatron said that Gabriel would have his memory wiped instead of falling, but does that mean the Metatron gets to decide if an angel falls, or was he covering for the fact that he doesn't know how it works either?
We, the viewers, don't know the answers to any of these questions. But it's fairly clear that the angels also don't know.
New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. The angels know little to nothing about the world or humanity and are disdainful or outright suspicious of earthly experiences. In the case of the ones who have never been sent to Earth, this makes sense, although it begs the question of why there are so many angels who have never once been sent to Earth, the planet that is supposed to be central to the Great Plan.
It's obviously, at its core, about control and keeping the angels ignorant of anything that would broaden their perspective. But listen to how the angels themselves talk about it. When Gabriel sees Aziraphale eating sushi, he asks, "Why do you consume that? You're an angel." (Subtext: You don't need to eat, so what's the purpose of indulging in this experience?) When Aziraphale suggests he try the food himself, Gabriel starts talking about sullying the temple of his body or whatever. (Subtext: It's not technically forbidden but it would be a deviation from my function as an angel so I'm suspicious of it.) And look at Aziraphale himself. He lives on Earth for many hundreds of years before he can be persuaded to even try human food, and Crowley has to work at convincing him it's okay. He seems to know it's not forbidden but he's deeply distrustful of it anyway. (I have a theory that a holdover of this mindset is why he's so set in his ways, behind the times, and still more ignorant of humans that you'd expect in the present day, but this post is already too long.) The attitude cultivated among the angels is These things are not meant for us, we don't need them, and they are a distraction from our higher purpose, so it's better if we don't.
No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So, if you're an angel, you're meant to be doing God's will, and if you fail badly enough you can be punished forever by falling. But the rules are unclear, the way falling works is unclear, in most cases you're kept ignorant of everything but the bare minimum you need to know to do your job, God isn't talking to anyone, and the (seemingly) officially appointed Voice of God is also pretty remote and mysterious most of the time.
So the only time you'll ever know for certain that you've crossed the line is once you've already crossed it, when it's too late to do anything about it. At that point, the only thing that could save you from falling would be if God just...decided to be merciful, to grant you a pardon (i.e. to forgive you) and not do the casting out thing.
Believe it or not, I had to work really hard to keep this as short as it is. If you've read this far, I salute you. Now, what's the point?
Aziraphale and the other angels are part of a system where they understand very little, they have no real power, the stakes are eternal, and their only hope of escaping endless punishment if they fail is the possibility that God will decide to show mercy and forgive them.
Yes, in the real world this is all just bullshit spread by religious leaders to scare and confuse and manipulate people into compliance and in the world of Good Omens it's actually real. But the emotional impact of feeling that confused and powerless and at the mercy of a higher authority is going to be the same. Of course Aziraphale has some Big Feelings about the subject of forgiveness. Of course it's one of his favorite things. It's not just a nice thing you do for people. It's powerful enough to rescue someone from eternal punishment when nothing else can. Powerful enough to wield as a devastating weapon by withholding it. It's a tool of control in Heaven, but it's also the source of salvation.
I was going to segue from here into what I think the specifics of Aziraphale's mindset are, but it took me so many more words than I expected just to lay out the parallels between GO Heaven and (my experience of) real-world toxic Christianity so I'm gonna stop here. Next time I'm going to dig into what I think is happening in Aziraphale's head when he forgives Crowley, and also when he does things like shelter Jimbriel (a very forgiving action, even if the words "I forgive you" don't accompany it).
179 notes · View notes