#sorry I REALLY should be sleeping

[vampvore]

Current inescapable mood that I must rope (heh) you into; pregnant shibari

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer, I dont know the most about actual shibari ties so these are Really inaccurate

but YEAH

Ask me anything

#belly art #belly #preg #preg art #shibari #b0ndage #sorry I REALLY should be sleeping #sh1bari #tum #vampvore art #vampchat #ask

[s-4-fira]

quick sketches because i am full of give the elves fangs feelings 

#myart #was abt to go to sleep but then brain went ughguhuhughrrh elves #fenris #sera #dragon age #da #merril #zevran #no egg because i dont really care abt drawing him #sorry eggmancers #the ears all look diff because #bye #i also think that the qunari should have black sclera fight me

[thranduel]

some thoughts about astarion because i'm tired of the internet reducing him to one thing

when bg3 came out in early access, astarion was always seen as the extremely flirty, confident guy who enjoyed sex (or so we thought) and spoke about it like it was his favourite thing. he was also kinda marketed as the “sexy vampire”, so you can understand why many people saw him that way based on the little amount of content we had. even while playing act 1 and act 2, many players still might think of him like that because he does have a very charismatic personality and he asks to sleep with you very early on, so it just automatically makes you think he’s genuinely happy doing that and being totally serious.

BUT!!!!!!! we end up finding out later on that’s NOT the case and it was all part of a plan to seduce us in order for him to gain protection. he opens up about his past and his trauma and how he was forced to use his body to lure people back to cazador. he struggles with intimacy and relationships in general because of this. that’s why i really hope that people stop reducing him to “hot sexy vampire that loves flirting and having sex with everyone” when that is not who he is, he’s literally traumatised because of sex due to being forced into it and he’s slowly trying to heal. he’s also so much more than just “the hot vampire”, ya know? if you actually put in the effort to get to know him, you will see who he truly is underneath and he has many loveable traits to appreciate.

you may not see the “soft” side of him very often because he hides it, but it’s there!! one thing i noticed that really stood out to me was that when i gave food to an orphan in act 3 and he approved. back when you first met him, he probably would’ve done the opposite or had no reaction at all. i also saw a clip of someone trying to romance karlach and astarion and he literally told tav to choose karlach over him because he can see that karlach loves her. he said normally an arrangement would work for him but after everything karlach has been through, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt. letting tav go is also hard for him as well but he still thought about someone else. he could’ve whined or been possessive or jealous but he didn’t do that at all. where are all those people who reduce astarion to “the guy that flirts and sleeps with everyone” now? seriously. that’s not what he does, and when he was forced into it by cazador, he was trying to survive, he didn’t do it for his own pleasure. it’s not a “hot” personality trait of his, it’s literally trauma. and because he did it so much, he got used to it, and that resulted in him disassociating and feeling empty.

apparently if you ask him to join you and sleep with the drows at the brothel (something i will never make him do in my playthroughs), he only says yes because he struggles to say no. but he disassociates. and if you’re in a high approval relationship with him and he loves you, he will feel safe enough to express his feelings and say he’s not comfortable. this happens before you fight cazador. i’m not sure if he gives the same response after, but either way, if he joins in, he will always disassociate and it’s not something he wants to do despite what he may say.

that being said, it’s obviously still okay to appreciate his beauty and attractiveness, because he is very beautiful. he appreciates it and even likes being called beautiful. calling him “hot” and “sexy” isn’t a bad thing either, we know he can be and i'm sure he knows it too! it’s just annoying when people act like that’s ALL he is and they don’t even mention anything else about his character. the love scenes are beautifully done too (i personally prefer the second one after you’ve stopped him from doing the ritual, because that’s the one where he decided he truly wanted it and felt safe and comfortable because he genuinely loves you), and i actually would’ve been fine if they didn’t have any scenes like that at all because it’s totally understandable and valid if he didn’t feel comfortable, but i just hope that people don’t take things too far and over-sexualise him just because of how he appeared to be in the first half of the game and the way he’s often marketed on social media. and yes i know he’s fictional and nothing on the internet is going to hurt his feelings!!!! it’s more about the fact that he canonically has sexual trauma and many people still say really disturbing stuff even AFTER they find out about that, and it just makes me uncomfortable to think that people are okay with treating someone like a sexual object especially when they've said they're traumatised and it makes them uncomfortable. idk if this makes sense 😭

but yeah he doesn't want to flirt and sleep with everyone as i've seen people claim. and if in an alternate universe he did, and he did it on his OWN terms, and the other people he had relationships with enjoyed it too, then good for them! absolutely nothing wrong with that if there's consent, respect and honesty. however, that's not the case with what happened with astarion, because 1. he was forced into using his body WHEN HE DID NOT WANT TO and 2. he misled people and lured them to a miserable fate. it's so horrible and devastating for everyone involved. sex was never something fun for him, and it certainly isn't a "personality trait" of his. it was a survival tactic. he was forced to. he didn’t want to.

obviously when he becomes more comfortable, then it's totally understandable to get excited when he flirts and shows physical affection. he can be so charming, funny, sweet and romantic and i love that. it’s so beautiful to see him heal, genuinely find comfort in someone for the first time and experience intimacy that he feels ready and comfortable for. he deserves to love and be loved on his own terms instead of being forced. but again, he is so much more than the guy we were introduced to at the beginning. the internet just sees one thing and sticks with it but i really hope people start to actually appreciate him for who he is and the complexity of his character.

aaaaand i just had to leave this here <3

#astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #sorry for rambling i’ve just been very emotional about him recently 😭 #also i hope people remember that even if he NEVER EVER wanted to have sex again he is 100% valid #he does not have to change or force himself to feel a certain way #especially after everything he’s been through #and if you think he does then you’re gross. he doesn’t owe anyone ANYTHING #anyways #when he kept apologising for not sleeping with tav i wanted to cry #there is literally a scene where if you tell him halsin is interested in you he says it’s ok to go to him #but then he gets concerned and asks if it’s because he hasn’t slept with you for a while #and i wanted to cry #he should NEVER have to feel guilty for that #honestly the only reason why i think he might eventually feel comfortable with sex again is because -> #in act 3 after his genuine love confession after you help him defeat cazador he initiates it himself #and it feels like it’s something he truly wants after developing a strong emotional bond with someone for the first time #and i think that’s really beautiful that he chose to do it on his own terms when he felt ready #but also #for a while i wasn’t sure if he was repulsed and uncomfortable by sex in general and hated it entirely #or if he only feels comfortable after he develops a strong emotional bond #the only reason i think the second one now is because of what happened in act 3 #but regardless whatever it is i just want him to feel safe and comfortable and happy #my posts

[notsosecretlyalesbian]

Abbott Elementary 1×13 | 2×22

#melissa schemmenti #barbara howard #work wives #abbott elementary #lisa ann walter #sheryl lee ralph #abbottelementaryedit #abbottelementarygifs #abbottedit #abbottgifs #dailyabbottelementary #notsosecretlyalesbian #my gifs #i????????? #hello????? #but yes melissa spreading the word that wlw love older women #at least my insomnia is being useful #i really should be sleeping though #these were rushed i'm so sorry loves

[iknaenmal]

guys i drew gojo satoru are you proud of me

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #my art #ikna draws #the colors might look a bit off sorry :( drew this while on . whatever the thing that makes your screen more orange is called #also put wayy more effort on this than i should have SKDJDKD #dedicated to my two friends who love jjk :) i will watch it too eventually i promise im just slow #i lovr him really . hes my blorbo by proxy or whatever you call that #bought a nendoroid of him for my friend and i kept it in my room until i could give it to her and well. lesr just say i couldnt sleep bc i #could feel him watching me. scary. anyway hes so cutesies . what a guy

[thosewildcharms]

Your rhetorical questions have lit up my brain lol like what if Rick had met Michonne and Andre first instead of Morgan and Duane? 🤯 But anyway on a separate note, it’s so wild to see Rick and Shane’s first scene and Rick laughing along to Shane’s mysoginistic weird ass rant in light of who he is now. He really was just some emotionally repressed small town guy, And while Lori telling Rick “I wonder if you even care about us” in front of Carl was horrible, I wonder what Rick could’ve done or not done that would make her feel that way? And Shane said women’s problem is they don’t know how to turn off a light switch, to which Rick says part of the problem is he’s the one who’s leaving light switches on; I hate to be missing something that’s probably obvious but what did he mean with that?

oh that's a great idea for an AU anon. your mind!

this got long because who am i, so under a read more it goes.

maybe i got my rickgirl blinders on and am giving him too much credit but i thought rick was laughing at least somewhat incredulously at shane's speech (he was at the very least shaking his head a lot until the very end) but yes present-day rick would probably not have entertained that quite so much lol. but to kind of go along with that, my interpretation of light switch thing was rick kind of dismissing shane's, as you pointed out, misogynistic joke by saying he's the one with the issue turning off lights, and also to shift the conversation into the Actual Problems he and lori are having. also in retrospect it kinda feels like the show was lowkey already telling us lori and shane were more suited for each other than lori and rick but i could be reading into that. but listen metaphors have a habit of flying right over my (probably) autistic little head so i could also be missing some hidden meaning there.

as for the fight with lori, there's a flashback (i think in season 2?) where lori is talking to a friend about that same fight and she admits that she was the one who was being the asshole and how she got even more pissed off over how even-tempered and reasonable he was in response. from rick's perspective, he said he would try to talk about his feelings only for it to seem like lori didn't actually want to hear them after all. honestly i think they were just fundamentally incompatible, as we saw over and over in seasons 1 and 2. it wasn't anyone's fault, and their fights probably escalated because they didn't even know how to argue the way the other person wanted them to.

and not to constantly compare rick/lori to richonne, but rick similarly almost never yells or gets mean the few times we see him and michonne argue. the couple of times he did in towl were such an anomaly it set off alarm bells for michonne that something was really wrong with him (and also the situation was just objectively insane). but michonne and rick know how to disagree without getting ugly, and she certainly never has to try to provoke him into communicating because they have a fundamental understanding of each other that rick and lori never had. for sure rick learned from his mistakes with lori but i don't think the rick who was with lori was an entirely different person who said horrible things to his wife. he couldn't express himself the way we see he can with michonne because he just didn't have that type of connection with lori. and to be fair, lori didn't feel that with rick either, and again, that's okay. they probably should have just called it quits well before rick got shot. @cantstayawaycani and @jonesywrites go into this far more eloquently than I did here in their very excellent towl season 1 reaction video that you should definitely watch, because it's wonderful from start to finish.

#richonne #answered #like can i ever be fucking brief #anyway. this was sitting in my drafts for WEEKS i'm so sorry #also re: shane/lori i don't really like to entertain the thought that they should have been endgame or w/e #because he's an asshole who sexually assaulted her but. she seemed pretty happy with him before that tbh #tbh i kinda don't buy that she was just sleeping with him to ~feel something or whatever she said #she was like. giggly and happy. she said she felt safe with him. like. girl?

[angelscrowbar]

Newdi mikus!

Isolated versions ⤵

#꒰ა ☘︎ ໒꒱ #ensemble stars #enstars #hatsune miku #miku #personally i don't think i did too well on some of these #pulled an all nighter for no reason and had to drive someone on 20min of sleep #mamiku my beloved #sorry for her pose tho my 3am brain thought the hat on chest was for something lighter not death #well the more i know #i should really start on the design notes post #guys i updated this. sorry teehee #the older version is still up on twitter but. look at this one instead. its better and im more satisfied with it.

[bubblew0lf1]

The dragon au is stuck in my head, and the post with Qui-Gon “helping” Obi-Wan fly where you referred to him as a dad trying to help his son makes me think about young Obi-Wan getting kidnapped on a mission (he’s skilled at fighting already but there were just too many opponents), and the kidnappers are all smug thinking they’ve caught a Jedi when suddenly this fuck-off gigantic dragon crashes through the window ready to raise hell to get his child back (maybe dragons have really strong protective instincts over their young that get triggered while in dragon form, and that’s something Jedi have to learn to work through?)

Oh my god you're giving me so many good ideas!!!

I think it would be very interesting to explore how their "instincts" would affect them and the way the order works.

Also yes they are absolutely very protective!

I know this isn't directly related to your question, but I have this whole thing built up for the fic about how different species of dragons have different needs socially. For example some would need more companionship than others, certain dragons with large horns having a habit of knocking their heads together as a greeting, some winged dragons instinctually using their wings like a hug etc.

And for furred dragons (wookies, stewjoni for example) they groom each other's fur (I think that's the Expression in English) as like a comforting and familiar notion. But because Qui-gon is a scaled dragon, he doesn't know the best way as to how to calm down Obi-Wan at first when he's struggling with anxiety. It's one of the things he has to learn for Obi-Wan (the flying situation is another thing but that's a whole lot more complicated, because I decided to add stewjoni mythology into it lol)

#it's two am and im rambling sorry #i should really sleep #star wars #obi wan kenobi #clone wars #star wars obi wan #dragon!jedi au #qui gon jinn #dragon obi wan kenobi #dragon qui Gon jinn

[verraising]

i am short of breath standing next to you. i am out of my depth at this altitude. -♡-

#ffxiv gpose #myrrbert #wolbert #a'myrrhis venko #ardbert hylfyst #hello. i've been having A Time lately so i decided to cheer myself up with some disgustingly sweet gpose shenanigans #and it worked ;w; look at them... babies..... #and MAN i am kinda proud of these esp how the lighting and the angles worked out!!! and the hands!!! i had to futz with the fingers so much #but they line up quite nicely which is very satisfying #i am commited to their matching bracelets too. it was a joke initially but they are canon now. lil keepsakes for when they are apart #also ignore me with the sleeping at last lyrics again lmao but they're just. so perfect. #also just as a side note these are NOT wedding pictures lmaooo my partner saw them and was like #'aww they're getting married!' but that was not the intention #they're just in all white because i thought it'd look really nice with the purple forest #(and i was right about that) #ANYWAYS #sorry for the ranting i am just. excited. to have produced something really nice imho #and to see those two together <3 #i should talk about them more but i always get shy and embarrassed lmao but maybe i will do that sometime #anyways!

[cadaverousdecay]

i’m so overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming...

#among them‚ i’ve fallen behind on drscula dauly for the first time this year and it’s stressing me out cuz i really really wanted to keep up #this year that was the one goal i had for the year is keep up with it. last year i fell way behind when my brother died and it was so hard #catching up and the entry on the 30th was a little longer than they’ve been recently and i’ve been busy and also slipping back into depressi #on real bad and i’m just not in the mood for it and i feel like it’s just gonna snowball #and this is such a non issue. it’s a book. that i’ve read before. but still it’s just stressing me out. among other things #like library books that are overdue and i haven’t finished or journal entries i want to write or a letter i’ve been wanting so badly to writ #e and a short story idea that i wanted to write down but is escaping me and fucking. tumblr notifications #these are non issues!!! but it feels like there’s a timer for the world to end again all the same. #ugh #and i should be able to focus on one thing and get it done! these things shouldn’t be hard! they’re even meant to be enjoyable! but i can’t #get myself to do anything lately #and on top of all that i’m not able to fall asleep even with my sleep meds. #what even ever‚‚‚ #anyway sorry for the rant i’m basically fine

[napstawantstosleep]

Eret when he became a scientist to look at strange things idk haven't seen the show

#eret #eret fanart #the eret #eret art #mcyt #mcyt fanart #Scientist? More like therapist because I know y'all need one (I'm y'all) #But I'm upset I haven't seen any fanart about this and this picture has been running miles rent free in my mind #Thank u cg5 for giving us a bop and unlocking a new Eret fit from the bottom of my heart #Btw sorry for the inactivity my living schedule keeps changing everyday and whenever I wake up I play genshin eat and go to sleep #My nights are long and by long I mean between 10 and 20 hours #Sometime I straight up forget to wake up ig 💀 #Renting in the tag when really I should just go to sleep #I have no idea what god put in me to make me so unfunctional. Is it because I'm gay?? So homophobic of him... /j #If anyone see these tags no you won't #But IF hypothetically someone were to see them and wanted to rb this post write 'going to therapy with op hand in hand' in the tag and #We'll go on a therapy date <3

[harmoniouseclipse]

More jeanlisa horse yuri

#genshin impact #genshin fanart #lisa genshin impact #lisa minci #jean gunnhildr #jeanlisa #artists on tumblr #digital art #my art #jean genshin impact #mlp art #mlp #where are my mlp jeanlisa truthers at #sorry if this seems a lot less detailed than i usually do for things like this i had a long weekend #probably got 10 hours of sleep over the course of 4 days #it was fun tho #i really just drew these two for my soul bc i have other stuff i should be working on #horse yuri rejuvenates me yk

[b4kuch1n]

I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again #gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that #sorry if these are impossible to parse #anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway''' #sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs #WITH da family #so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner #like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec #but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept #took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa #I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me #this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be #the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face #'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you #gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed #Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec #so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next #happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night

[todayisafridaynight]

barely four hours into the new month and im already silly

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza 7 #yakuza like a dragon #arasawa #masumi arakawa #jo sawashiro #snap sketches #BYE LMAO #i just wanted to draw arakawa tbh but then somehow sawashiro ended up here too #a reward for me for shotgunning all of my comm sketches tonight :))))) #im lying of course. there was SOME intent. but i really didnt expect to make this a 'whole' thing #at the very least i just expected to post the sketch and call it a night but I Am Not Tired And I Fear Time Loss So Might As Well #anyway todays inspo for this is uhhhhhhhhhhh heavage LMAO #my guy being SO respectful not to peak... couldnt be me Who Said That #sorry i draw young arasawa so much. it just tickles me cause i get to Reasonably make jo a doofus #yk. before he fully invests himself in The Horrors and becomes a cunt. still love him tho <3 maybe even more cause of it LMAOO #ok i should sleep. but im not going to cause im gonna go work out HAHA BYYYYYEEE #posting this now so i stop looking at it and feeling like i need to add more to it BITCH ITS JUST A SCRIBBLE MOVE ON AND EXERCISE

[asbestos-11]

hengren would have had so many emo amvs if only hsr came out in the early 2000's

#blade #dan heng #hengren #renheng #hsr #draw tag #never again am i rendering oh my god it makes me want to jump #sorry for no furi and neuvi content i promise that we will get to them eventually (probably the second 4.4 hits and something fun happens) #rotating dh and blade in my mind like they are beyblades #i should really go to sleep i have to do make an entire portfolio for one of my exams

[nanatsuyu]

what makes you like kandrew so much?? what drawns you to them??

(not trying to sound rude or condescending or anything im just curious lol)

I really adore characters that bite and snarl at each other for the purpose of enrichment in their respective enclosures.

On a more serious note lol—other than the fact that I have A Type when it comes to pairings (davekat, edxizzy, amberprice, etc), I enjoy characters that have somewhat of an unhealthy codependency on one another. Which is the extremely general way of putting it. I like characters that are kind of doomed to the narrative to never really be sated by what the world has to offer, but their person makes up for that (not that they always recognize it as such or that it's entirely positive or sometimes even completely mutual). And I don't mean doomed in a "never amount to anything" way, but in that bittersweet tone where both of these characters, wherever they fall into each other on the timeline, are at a place where their lows sync up, and that harmonizing rattles something to the perceived tune of "we're the best we're ever going to get". Again, that's all really general for the vibes of why I was drawn to them. There's a bit more nuance for them (and the other pairings ofc).

I like that they have a deal that encompasses both of them trying to push the other into being a better version of themselves but they're both too stubborn/scared to move first because realised potential means you have to recognise it too. Kevin can't expect Andrew to try his best when he himself is not, and Andrew can't expect Kevin to show him his worth* if he doesn't bother to try in the first place. (Though I know their deal was labelled more as moriyama protection for Kevin, I think that kind of encompassed the idea that Andrew would be a crutch till Kevin could stand on his own if that makes sense)

Not to quote the ec but it's one of like 3 parts I would willingly print and eat:

Andrew is the kind of character I adore because he says this and he really genuinely means it. Keeping what little he has left of himself is a last ditch self preservation tactic because he can't get hurt if he has no hopes/expectations/aspirations. No one can let him down if he doesn't let them. But he's so wonderfully flawed in his own ruleset because he keeps doing just that in the hopes that maybe someone will be different this time . Like maybe this time someone will be right when they say he's worth it** like maybe Kevin is right and he can make Andrew see what he's been refusing himself.

I also love that their deal extends far past the deal itself. In the most basic of terms, it was: 'you go, I'll go.' Andrew didn't have to trust Kevin beyond that. But he gave Kevin his meds and trusted him not to abuse that. Kevin had even already promised to help him figure out a way to wean off them before if they could earlier (and I genuinely think his fear of Andrew getting off his meds early was both a kneejerk 'the game/my safety' reaction because Kevin has a lot riding on this semester too, but also because he knows he made his own promise to Andrew and he thought Andrew coming off his meds early might have been an obstacle even Kevin's stubbornness couldn't hurdle when it came to helping Andrew on his feet after). Likewise I have to imagine that very few people put their trust in Kevin with much of anything outside of Exy given his temperament and wallflower disinterest in team building extra curriculars. So for Andrew to willingly give Kevin his meds to hold onto that he's gotten violent over before probably created a very morbid sense of.. pride, I guess? Like I trust you to hold onto the thing that ruins me is so... clenches fist

There's also this rough handed care that comes with all of that. They're unforgivably honest with each other at the best of times and unnecessarily biting at wounds just to get a genuine reaction at the worst. But then they also have these quiet side/off screen moments that are unyielding in tenderness? Andrew inspecting Kevin's hand for injuries. Kevin covering for Andrew when he's sick on court. Andrew telling Kevin to trust him during a panic attack and that he'll take care of it. Kevin turning his entire attention away from the Raven's to pull Andrew up to his feet. Them smiling at each other first genuinely?? Being idiots on the court with playful mocking shoves that don't get heated?? Like you give me these two characters who make it seem as if their hearts will genuinely stop beating if they stop nipping at each other, and then show me that they're actually wrapped up in one another so tightly that they're rarely seen apart? And are burdened (affectionate) with the task of keeping the other from doing the very thing that drowns themselves?? Okay

Also a looooot of this is from my perspective on Andrew's perspective on Kevin since we're given a lot more to work with, but I genuinely think Andrew was the first to push back at Kevin and make him prove things to Andrew and himself. Kevin had maybe a couple people at most before he fled to the foxes. Like he had nothing other than his name and reputation, good and bad, when he showed up at wymack's door. I can't help but imagine some part of Andrew saw this as amusing but also rather tiresome when it came to seeing Kevin constantly shut away in hiding. He was so loud before, where is all that roar now? When Kevin left Jean, he really left his only friend behind (sorry Thea fans I know she's there I know). So here you have Andrew, offering a deal that becomes this codependency because being out of the nest alone most certainly took its toll for a while, and it sounds too good to be true but most things are. So Kevin snatches it up and then there's the trust in the meds and the constant presence (in the sense of comforting consistency in spite of any disagreements (but abandonment issues kandrew is a whole other post now innit)) and the care and it all looks a lot like what someone might call a friend. And I mean they could both say they're not friends till their dying day but they're the only ones they're still trying to fool.

I just like that they gnaw on the scraps that they snag off one another, these leftover cuts from failed attempts at love and kindness, and act as if they didn't hand the pieces to each other themselves in the bed they share.

—

*Andrew is worth more than his ability to play Exy obviously, but I'm working from the angle that these boys have a very limited vocabulary in how to express that given their upbringings lol ie: my absolute Favourite part of the ec:

Like again I have my hangups with some of the ec but this provides soooo much more context to their beef pre-canon and the history behind Andrew's failed recruitment. Not to mention Aaron internally calls out Andrew for blatantly lying to Kevin when he tells him he doesn't care. (I think Andrew probably holds a certain disdain for Kevin struggling to verbalize how he measures worth and how that might differentiate off the court, because that line between wanting to be told you're worth putting in the effort for versus being told it's because of your latent potential is most likely rather precarious. Shipping goggles on: I imagine wanting to get someone's attention whose love language was built up around Exy is a tad difficult even if Andrew does in fact hear what Kevin's trying to say. I also don't think Kevin's malicious in his inability to truly express that Andrew really could have everything and it's infuriating to watch Andrew self destruct.)

**And for me, this, coupled with the above conversation with Renee, really puts into perspective how agitated Andrew is with Kevin for squandering his potential. He thinks Kevin has zero self preservation skills when it comes to maybe not putting all his balls in the exy basket, but that's also why he's so drawn to him because he has this insatiable drive to live for this one thing? And yet he's not even giving it his all like he's asking of Andrew despite that? It'd be easy to dismiss Kevin's overzealous love of the game as gross infatuation that's bled into Andrew's life, but if he smothers Kevin's drive and doesn't encourage him to be exactly as he sees Kevin, this person who really can achieve these things, what is there for him? He wants Kevin to thrive, but Andrew also wants Kevin to be right and that he can thrive too.

#im sorry anon do you regret your question now lol #im kind of bad with articulating my points sometimes because theres A LOT #like i think how they view themselves and each other is blurred with how others do #and what they tell themselves versus what they themselves can articulate makes it really messy #and thats what i gobvle up about them #theyre messy and mean and have a vice grip in each others collar and constantly demand more #and at the same time theres a certain kind of devotion that comes with promising to be the reason someone wont break thats so #agonizingly tender #kiss with a fist‚ love from the back of a broken hand etc #thanks for coming to my ted talk hope literally any of this made sense #aftg #aftg meta #kandrew #nana asks #otp: did you have fun #i should be sleeping but im thinking about ✨them✨