#sorry all i post here is thoughts

[k1ll3r-k4rg0]

okay in continuation with the writing thoughts im like hmmmm m m m m i should post my PORN too coz i sure write a lot of that but like im realizing i have these Concerns?

that ive always written a lot (just general stuff) as a kid and growing up etc and my parents have always known me as The Writer so ig to try and control it / protect me they would tell me stuff like dont just post it anywhere, make sure it doesnt get stolen etc, so i was always kinda afraid to post shit!!!! and i didnt know where to post the stuff so id put it on deviantart coz thats where i read my fanfic and also fanfic.net which i dont think exists anymore

i wasnt allowed to be on the internet at all. i really liked tumblr and wanted an account but they told me i couldnt so i didnt. i didnt really break rules. as a result i didnt really find out about ao3 until like my first year of college like 6 years ago and only made an account last year when i wanted to comment on a fic (but because i had to wait, couldn't comment right then and there so never got around to it)

thsu the porn doesnt get posted either coz im super scared of getting in trouble and oh if youre a professional and people find that they'll fire you and shit. just lovely things my parents have told me

also! also. adhd = i have the damn hardest time posting shit. coz im literally just posting for myself coz no one reads my stuff no matter how short (except, you know, my two lovely friends / mutuals who don't need to read the stuff posted here coz i've already sent it to them in dms). so then im like probably professionally would be a Good Idea to put warnings and tags and info about the ship and what story it's from etc but i literally . the easiest for me is to just copy paste from notes and release it into the wild

hm. anyways

#just thoughts ig #sorry all i post here is thoughts #k1ll3rth0tz

[ruporas]

feast (ID in alt)

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #tw blood #im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello.... #i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is #completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo #but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei #travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point. #humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on #& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas. #theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve #done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but #in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise #since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times #if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess #ruporas art

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

#please watch revue starlight #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account #im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING. #actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL #i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue #sorry. anyways #the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life #because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is. #my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????) #Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper #and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from.. #i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets #Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[11thsense]

Going through my files of my more illustrative work and this is a bunch of studies, abandoned pieces, and Wips. Some of which I posted then deleted.

#long post #my art #wip #concept art #sorrryyy i just thought i might as well dump all this here....alos because some of u ask for progress shots and my process #though my process for these is very different from like my just regular character drawing process.... #these look so nice together maybe i should actually finish some of them...... #the “umi” painting in the water is an irl painting btw and its done i havent shown anyone the finished product tho sorry u guys lol #its 40 by 60 inches tho its pretty damn big....

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#may 31th anon #hello friends!! (｡’▽’｡)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much! #I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting #I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys #I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry #I think one just says 'I am ten' #what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c: #my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages #not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far ( #my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers #I do not know the meaning of that #but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!! #I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them #I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket #I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said #that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason #but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket #we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion #maybe I should ask her #is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again #I just want to see that silly little hat again #would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket #have a nice day everyone!! #see you soon hopefully!! #♡＾▽＾♡

[solarmorrigan]

TW: Brief description of a panic attack, mentions of PTSD

-

Post-S3 AU with Steve who, after much badgering (and minor bribery) agrees to drive The Party out to The Good Haunted House outside of town a little before Halloween

He doesn't plan on going in, because after what happened over the summer, having people jumping out at him and screaming while possibly brandishing weapons seems like a bad idea. But then he sees the kids walking off into the dark, swarmed by people who look intentionally threatening, leaving his sight, and he decides "fuck it" and goes in after them

Unfortunately, he was correct, and being in an enclosed, poorly-lit space with occasionally flashing lights where people jump out and scream at him is, indeed, A Bad Idea. Worse, their group gets turned around and Steve gets separated from the kids, and then he's alone, he has no idea where in the house he is, or where the kids are, and he's panicking

It really sets in that he's kinda fucked when he stumbles into the the "haunted hospital" themed room and nearly decks the mad doctor in a bloody face mask and apron that comes out wielding a chainsaw. He catches himself in time, but it still makes Steve feel worse, because it's not this guy's fault that Steve can't handle a jump scare, it's not this guy's fault that Steve shouldn't be here at all, that he's fucked up and he should have known better than to come in, and Steve doesn't want to hurt anyone but he doesn't know how the fuck he's going to get out of there, he really doesn't, and -

Enter haunted house actor Eddie, who is used to being threatened with violence (and has, in fact, been punched once before), but who is less used to people having literal heaving breakdowns in the middle of his room. People get scared, yeah, but this - this is another level. This dude looks like he's about to pass out. He doesn't even really look like he's present; the look in his eyes is uncomfortably distant

So Eddie puts down the chainsaw, pulls off his mask and gloves and approaches Steve slowly. The room is fairly quiet without the revving of the chainsaw, so he manages to get Steve's attention, and asks if he wants Eddie to get him out of there

Steve can only nod

Eddie gets him out the back way, the way customers really aren't supposed to go through, but it's faster, and then they're out in the open air and Steve can almost breathe again. Eddie asks him what he can do, and Steve asks him to talk. To remind Steve of where he is

So Eddie talks; he tells Steve he's somewhere outside of Hawkins at a haunted house, tells Steve what it's like to work there, filling the space with funny stories, and it grounds him. By the time Steve feels like the world isn't caving in on him, he can hear the kids shouting from around the other side of the house, looking for him

He has just enough time to thank Eddie before The Party falls on him and he puts his attitude back on, herding them back towards the car with promises of dinner on the way back "if you can all shut up for five minutes"

In the back of his mind, though, he's wondering if he might just drive back out here on his own tomorrow night. Not to go back in--god, no--but to maybe ask at the front who the mad doctor is. Steve thinks he'd like to thank him for his kindness properly

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steve & the party #eddiesteve #I dunno man I wish I had the energy to write this in full but here's a little steddie halloween thought #solar wrote #long post #tw panic attack #sorry for tagging triggers after the fact my brain was all over the place this morning

[marshmallowgoop]

no thoughts just Heiji Hattori (HD)

#detective conan #case closed #amv #my amvs #eye strain #heiji hattori #harley hartwell #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #funimation english dub script #video #happy two-year anniversary to 'no thoughts just heiji hattori'! #while it's not my first amv (it's maybe my... fifth?) #it was the first one i made with davinci resolve and the amv that really got me into editing amvs for real #it's the amv that made me believe i could make amvs 🥺 #and in remastering it i deeply understood how ambitious it was! i thought i did a lot of audio mixing for 'messed up' #but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project #it took about 20 hours *just* to remaster! #which is something i've been meaning to do for a while now so i'm very happy to finally share the results! #to make this a 'remaster' and not a 'redo' the only changes i tried to make were to the source footage and audio #video now uses almost entirely hd remastered footage from my blu-rays or netflix rather than my dvds #but oh gosh was it *hard* not to touch anything else! i'd do so many things differently now #but this video will always be really special to me (and i can't believe i did it at all tbh!) #i hope seeing it in hd is fun too! i'm so blown away by all the love this vid's gotten #and that it helped increase interest in funi's old english dub is amazing and 100% what i was trying to do with it! #thank you everyone for all the support <333 i wouldn't be the video editor i am today without this vid or your encouragement for it <3333 #like the original the sources used are mostly from what funi dubbed (but mixed in hd by me!): eps 48-49 57-58 77-78 117 and 118 and movie 3 #but i also used episodes 141-142 174 189 239 263 277 291 293 345 479 491 517 and 522 #and ova 3 and tv special 6 (episode one) and movies 10 and 13 and ops 27 31 and 33 and the funi 5.2 dvd blooper for the one line lol #i'm sorry i've been so absent lately! i hope to be more active now... and there are 2 completely done amvs that i'm just waiting to post...

[mildlycuriousdragon]

Finally - the part 2 to the 2/2 post :D Jose sought out an alive Akechi after seeing Mister this lonely and hurt for months~

Bonus doodle:

#akeshu #shuake #goro akechi #akechi goro #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #joker persona 5 #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 #p5r #im sorry i was mean #but also reading the tags and stuff has been great #this was originally all supposed to be posted together but #i had an evil thought and chose to excecute it #ehehe #gf came in saying heres a hurt comfort idea why dont you draw it? #and i said hell yeah i will and then proceeded to post only the hurt and hoard the comfort KSJDFGHDF #mcddraws

[delta-piscium]

the real reason Steve brings a date to a high school basketball game for a high school he doesn’t even go to anymore is because the one time Nancy went with him the team won and his sports superstitions kicked in and he can’t just risk Lucas losing because of him not having a date, so he will take on the burden and ridicule of being the guy who graduated and drags new dates to games all in the name of not upsetting the delicate intricacies of rituals in sports

#i am so obsessed with him bringing a date to that game like i think about it constantly #because like wasn’t it a first date? or at least one of the firsts? absolutely insane behavior to me #okay i can see it being normal if it’s just ‘we’re both going wanna go together?’ buT that’s less fun to me #also weird sports superstitions steve is so real and true to me #god i love sports people with their little rituals i’m obsessed #coming out of the woodworks with this absolute mess of a post like i’m sorry this is all i have #it is 6am and i have not slept so i apologize for if my wording is messy here #stranger things #steve harrington #dels stranger things thoughts

[pettyprocrastination]

broke: eddie munson has handcuffs in his room cause he likes kinky sex 

woke: eddie munson has handcuffs in his room because he was once arrested by officer Callahan for possession of marijuana at a halloween party they busted his junior year, but as soon as Callahan sat him on the pavement and turned around, Eddie jumped up and hauled ass into the forest until he reached the trailer park. His uncle had to pick the lock to get them off his dumbass nephew (making eddie swear to 1. never ask how his uncle knew how to pick locks and 2. never get fucking arrested again) Eddie kept the handcuff’s as a memoir of the night he outran the Hawkins Police Department. 

#tj talks #eddie munson #stranger things season 4 #sorry i just think its funny #hopper: what. what do you MEAN he 'got away' #callahan: HES VERY FAST AND SLIPPERY OKAY #but fr i cant imagine hopper like. giving a shit #probably has been called on that kid more than once and each time its jsut that tired sigh of 'i dont want to be here either okay' #edit: dont turn this post into a 'if you characterize eddie as anything other than my own personal hc i get mad' thing because it isnt!! #this is a simple littoe heeha i had late at night #relaistically the cuffs are most likely accessories/decor i just thought it was funny #but i keep seeing people do the 'THIS is canon ajd if you think otherwise shut the fuck up' #so lets all just be calm ajd play nice in our little fake land of blorbos

[chloesimaginationthings]

Shueisha color teasers dropped! thoughts on the pallettes?

Okay quick rundown of what I think!

I think Jodio and Dragona look the best, I’m glad they kept Jodio’s colours, and Dragona looks more or less what I expected!

Though I’m not in love with the orange outfit for dragona, I think green or purple would have looked way better! Paco is fine, though I think his hair should have been a dirty blonde.

And I’m so sorry Usagi enjoyers, he’s a lost cause, they made him tingle. They feared to let him slay, they debuffed him. It almost looks alright but then they made the hat neon blue,,, should of been at least red to at least compliment just a lil

I think everyone else’s colours are fine! Though kinda just standard, and I do love November rain, I won with him having blue!! (Looks like weather report which is super cool)

Tbh I can get use to these colours, EVEN though I’ll probably still use the colour palettes I’ve been using, not like Shueisha colours are canon, It’s disappointing they just used palettes from certain Araki paintings over trying to make their own decisions on palettes

Jodio is fine, seeing Araki used it multiple times so it feels like that is what Jodio is supposed to look like, but taking from a painting where the whole point is to be one certain colour scheme, where everyone matches (Araki does these types of paintings a lot) feels somewhat misguided and will make Dragona, Paco and Usagi blend together and while Jodio will stand out.

I feel like there should be more variety of colours amongst the group, similar to how Golden Winds cast are all defined by one colour. I felt like it was too soon to give them colours, but again maybe I’ll warm up to them,

Definitely still using my own palettes whenever I feel like drawing them again🩵🩵🩵

#ask reply #not a short post at all I’m so sorry #I HAD MANY thoughts #they aren’t terrible but they aren’t great either #besides jodio and dragona #I’m so glad they actually made dragona brown over white washing em 😭 #I think just for that we won #dragona enjoyers can rest easy #also like I didn’t show it here but some coloured pages look really bad #like too saturated and too much airbrushing #I don’t even think the manga looks that bad but recent pages are ridiculous

[lorephobic]

literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver) #or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

[larsnicklas]

[231228 edm at sjs] leon draisaitl adjusts his helmet and pleads his case to the official after taking a high sticking penalty

#leon draisaitl #edmonton oilers #oilers #nhl #hockey #meg.gif #meg.oil #meg.all #sorry these are so low quality but </3 the footage is through the penalty box glass. u know how it goes. #i thought you guys might like it anyway. #i could have sworn i've gifed leon on this blog already #and then when i was going to look for tags to copy/paste i realized they're all in drafts LOL #so <3 i've been just a silent leon enjoyer until now. #here u go to my fellow leon enjoyers!! the other leon drafts wll get posted in due time i'm sure!

[its-your-mind]

Reason #194 that Jonathan jarchivist sims is just like me frfr: autism masking voice change

I know it has been remarked on before. But jonathan jarchivist sims has the most AGGRESSIVE voice shifts ever in the world. Like, statement voice vs regular voice, obviously, but also when he’s talking to Tim and Sasha? Unless they’re correcting him about something, his voice just gets so SOFT. And casual!! Bc they are his friends and he is comfy with them! That’s why he asked for them to be transferred with him!! But if they have a Critique of any kind, he goes Full Professional “humph hmm I am In Charge” and it is very funny.

And like… when he’s stuck in document storage with martin and he just asks in the sOFTEST and SMOLEST voice “ah… martin. You didn’t… die here, did you?” Like maybe Martin had never heard Jon’s smoft voice before! Just the Professional Archivist one! Like no wonder Martin fell in love. Are you kidding me. I would have proposed marriage on the spot.

Anyway jonathan jarchivist sims is in fact Mad Autistic and his professional voice is his Safe Mask and I love him sm

#tma #the magnus archives #mag 39 #jonathan sims #sasha james #tim stoker #martin blackwood #jonathan jarchivist sims I would die for you #hello mutuals I’m sorry for all the tma posting on main #but I’m relistening #and I have thoughts #and instead of keeping them in my head they are going here #sorry? but also not #you know what you signed up for #I hope

[mlmbug]

sometimes you hear the guy you like stim and you feel all warm and fuzzy

#i hate having a crush someone get me out of here #gay #mlm #mlm thoughts #mlm yearning #mlm concept #gay thoughts #gay yearning #gay concept #🦌.txt #sorry he’s all i post about anymore

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

okay so when i was very new to the pjo fandom i had alot of thoughts about being queer and being a half blood, so heres an old rant of mine edited a bit (alot) to be semi coherent and postable!

Being a half blood is by definition queer, not normal. Half bloods are unable to fit in with mortals, they're too different, too strange. Yet, they're able to find community at camp half blood, a place with others like them, others just as weird and different. I think this is something that resonates with alot of queer people, it's at the very least something alot of us have dreamed of or experienced something similar to.

Another thing that I think is worth mentioning is how we see, especially with Annabeth talking about her family–mortals sometimes almost demonizing half bloods, treating them as dangerous. Once again, in a way this speaks to alot of queer people. Being treated as dangerous for something you can not control, something that's just simply a part of who you are, the way you were born.

I think it might be worth mentioning how it's nearly impossible for a god to be cishet? Especially alot of the greek gods were as queer as can be. Humanity feels the need to fit themselves into boxes gods have no need for, half bloods i think fit right in the middle of that which i think might be a little reminiscent of how queer people are shoved into boxes that shouldn't exist by others around them.

I have no idea how to segue properly SO, MY FINAL POINT: The concept of being a half blood is something that i think speaks to alot of people, as a half blood you don't fit in, as a queer person you don't fit in; yet as either there are other's like you, a community that will welcome you with open arms.

tagging some people who might be interested: @agentwaffle @a-wondering-thought (i know you two want to see this) @genderfluidsgetguns @ssavinggrace (i just want you two to see this)

#asher says stuff #im so fucking scared to post this but like here goes nothing #my thoughts are incoherent and hard to put into words alot of the time so im lucky if this makes any sense whatsoever #also sorry if this feels like. dhdjhshsh idk the word fuck #i feel like i just used all the same points over and over again #okay im just gonna post this and go die in a hole <3